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artreider · 3 years

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Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

#station 19 #marina #maya bishop #carina deluca #maya and carina #maya x carina #andy herrera #robert sullivan #dean miller #ben warren #jack gibson #inara #victoria hughes #travis montgomery #maya and carina station 19 #carina x maya #miranda bailey #theo ruiz #emmett dixon

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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

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Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

#Not a Caption #Requests #Request

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wormmomma · 4 years

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MIDSOMMAR SPOILER REVIEW: this movie fucking broke me

CW:RAPE, ABUSE, PEDOPHILLIA

“Midsommar” is a grimm fairytale of sorts. A fairly different homage to the cult film the “wicker man”. “The wicker man” is about a european cult being investigated by a british christian cop, “midsommar” avoids the christian indictment of pagan/occult religious practices. midsommar attempts to be an out and out horror film unlike the a genre bending murder mystery/horror/thriller roots of “The wicker man”. Director ari aster obviously wanted to add to the annals of folk horror by creating an ambitious beautifully horrific and sometimes downright psychedelic film. Ari aster wanted to make a film where you can’t hide from the horror as it all happens in front of you. It's also a breakup movie for some reason? As someone who has seen the theatrical cut twice and the director's cut once I can assure you it misses the mark when taking both concepts. If you're wondering whether not to watch the film i think that on a technical level “midsommar” is beautiful and has amazing cinematography, but the answer is yes, but no. Jordan Peele was shown an advance copy of the film and told Aster "I think you’ve made the most idyllic horror film of all time" that high praise. But that being said for personal reasons this will be my final time seeing the film. I think the director's cut is a gorgeous and amazing three hour film. But as someone personally affected by rape, pedophillia, and the victimization mentally or physically handicapped people i cant reccomend this film wholeheartedly. I'm far from squeamish and love films that revel in shock, horror and extremity but I cannot in good conscious recommend a film I almost walked out on. I think Ari Aster has backpedaled immensely in his ability to create horror that exhibits empathy for his characters and the triumphs and tragedies that he subjects them too. “Hereditary” had an amount of emotional pathos for its characters that was almost completely removed from “Midsomer”. The fim feels unreasonably cruel even for a horror movie. Although enjoyable, proceed with caution “Midsommar” is a beautiful, slow, horrific but ultimately controversial mess of a film. 8/10

(the rest of this review is a plot synopsis and a meditation on the more controversial passages in the movie and is to be read for those who have actually seen midsommar. Spoilers abound!)

So what’s it about?

Midsommar is about Dani, an anxious and vulnerable young woman dating an emotionally abusive and reserved boyfriend named christian. After her bipolar sister commits suicide and murders both there parents, Dani goes on a european excursion with cristian with his anthropologist friends as they study a swedish cults midsommar summer solstice tradition. Dani reeling not only from having her parents taken from her by their favorite child, but also from the lack of any real emotional support goes on a gorgeous, psychedelia, induced nightmare of the cult horror variety. Immediately after touching down on the swedish cult's beautiful grassy commune christian manipulates dani into taking psychedelics. Christian although quite emotionally stunted and quite meek at his core is very sly and amazing at working people. Watching Christian make Dani do psychedelic drugs (mushrooms i believe) to make her clear refusal to take them into something that not only affects christian but also his friends and everyone around them is almost scary in its hilariously methodical toxicity. This leads to dani having a panic attack and from there the hits just keep on coming. Dani then has to watch as two cultist commit ritual suicide. This traumatic incident further escalated when one jumped off the mountain on his leg and needed to have his head crushed by cult members till it turns to meat and dust. To make a long three hour story with icelandic pacing short lets race to the finish line:

Christian begins to be pursued by a cult member named maja. Dani still reeling from seeing two people commit suicide has her worries invalidated by christian and all of his anthropologist bros. The anthropology bro argues about who deserves to break basically every rule of basic anthropology as they try to see who gets PAID for perverting a culture they were invited to study not disturb. Christian eats one of majas pubes. After pissing on a ceremonial tree for the dead, and taking photos of the forbidden religious text (written by an inbred autistic oracle boy) our two american secondary characters are chopped off. Dani and christian are the final outsiders left standing. Dani joins a dance competition (yes really) and becomes this year's may queen. forever to be immortalized in the annals of white female faces shown in portraits plastered in the sleeping quarters of this matriarchal cult commune. Christian is then raped as we discover how all the bodies of our other character are disposed of. Dani, inebriated and vulnerable, discovers christian being raped by the cult and forced to sleep with the 16 year old maja. Disgusted dani vomits and syncs her cries of pain with the cult sister and finally has her trauma validated. She is given the choice to then murder christian as hes trapped in a paralyzed state. Dani decides to burn christian alive in the body of a bear, finally defeating and overcoming her emotional abuser. Dani smiles as the cult writhes in pain from the death of the cult members burning alive with christian.Dani is happy. She has family. She is home.

So lets (finally) talk about maja

“Look at it from an academic perspective it would provide a unique glimpse into our sexual rights.”

“Can i not have a unique glimpse without participating?”

This is a conversation that is awkwardly cut from the theatrical version of midsommar. Christian is being offered to have sex with maja. Maja is a sixteen year old girl. The closest aster ever comes to revealing this fact is offhandedly mentioning maja having her first period. Christian refuses sex and is raped by maja, and the cult while a fourteen year old disabled child watches. There's a lot wrong with this scene. I’ll be honest for personal reasons I was really disgusted by this scene. I feel like im projecting but rape and pedophellia are really delicate topics and should be treated sensitivity. Ive seen alot of extreme very difficult horror films, i've seen rape, pedophillia, and violence explored in meaningful interesting and empathetic ways even ari asters own work like “meet the johnsons”. But watching maja rape christian with what i would assume are her older siblings, aunts, grandmothers, mother and other cult members as a 14 year old boy watches just made me feel fucking dirty. The weird part: it isn't horrific. While cristian was being raped, the audience I was watching it with were laughing. It wasn't scary. it was funny. It's a cognitive dissonance. The audience isn't aware of christians being raped or majas age. Most people assume he's cheating and deserves to be burned alive by dani. Making christian the bad guy of his own a rape is horrific but i shouldn’t need to hunt down that information and watch the film three times to understand that. It makes the movie feel as if its really bad at relaying basic information, at worst it's dishonestly hiding it to make the film more palatable. After putting all the pieces together I was disgusted. Ari aster crossed a line. I felt queasy and never wanted to see this film ever again. The fact ari aster could have made maja of age, or take the disabled 14 year old out the scene entirely, or not have had christian be raped in the first place while reaching a more understandable and tragic ending annoys me to know end, it feel like i watched these characters be used and mistreated for no reason. Just to shock me. It lacks value, it’s gross and uninteresting. much like christian and everyone involved i feel violated and it's really hard for me to enjoy watching what is an otherwise (although flawed) very interesting and compelling work or art. I’m still morbidly curious of the next film ari aster makes but i really hope he learns for this mistake and doesn't objectify children in another weird fetishistic male rape comedy routine. It just leaves me confused, disgusted and only makes it more challenging to analyze the more interesting implications of the film. I really appreciated hereditary as someone who has a very emotionally abusive family and has a very hard time processing death. I found hereditary horrific as it is cathartic. As someone who had to quite recently confront a pedophile, midsommar just left me hurt, and trapped. I was reliving some of the worst parts of my trauma as an audience sits around and laughs at it. It all felt so tragic and meaningless. I want to actually give ari asters work an honest critique but he's produced the only work of film that really hurt me and left me feeling violated. I really love his work and I know I'm exaggerating but I hope art never has such a negative effect on my mental health or anyone else’s ever again. I don't blame Maja or christian or the actor who portrayed them. I respect their performances although I have zero respect for how utterly tasteless midsommar ended up being for me. I think I need to learn how not to take art so seriously and try not to invest myself in other people's work. It's a difficult habit to kick. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this movie. If you're able to separate art from the artist and read this whole review without watching the film you're not a bad person for watching it, midsommar is a compelling, difficult experience.

I hope you enjoyed this review and I'm sorry if it got wayyy too personal in the end there. The movie clearly struck a raw nerve for me. if you enjoy this or any review i've dones let me know. I may reveiw hereditary in the future.if your also having issues with death, rape, abuse or mental health i hope this review didnt make it worse. Everyone is deserving of love, family, community and I hope everyone can find that. Have a good day, and have a safe quarantine.

#movie #reveiw #horror #cults #ari aster #midsommer spoilers #midso #midsommer #film #jordan peele #bear #analysis #critque #hot take #problematic

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

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OKAY LOOK,IVE READ ANGSTY HCS OF MY TF2 BABIES AND NOW IM GONNA WRITE COMFORT ITS 5:35 IN THE MORNING AND I SLEPT 2 HOURS CAUSE MY GAY ASS IS HYPED UP CAUSE IM HANGING OUT WITH A FRIEND THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON,EITHER WAY, HERE ITS THE RESULT.

《♡♡♡♡♡♡》

Jerico is jolted awake by someone nudgig her

--Babe?-- Scouts voice is broken and shaky--Babe wake up

Jeri sits up to find her boyfriend, tears Rolling down his eyes.

--Nightmares?--she asks softly sitting on his lap,he hides his face on his chest, his hands rest on her waist, as hers caress his scalp.

Jeremy mutters a soft Yes, she sighs hugging him tightly,an arm goes around his back and she pulls him closer to her, while her other arm goes around her neck,resting her hand on his hair, caressing it, while the other one clings to his red t-shirt.

--its alright--she says--its going to be okay

--those damn bullies--his voice is cracked.

Scouts trauma about bullying was something jerico could resonate with deeply.

--they aint here anymore-- she adds,pulling away from the hug,she caress his cheek, while the other one rests on his waist-- Jeremy,look at me okay?, all the things they said about you aint true, youre a great guy, you funny, charismatic, just, youre just amazing to me

The Man smiles a bit kissing the palm of her hand, hugging her tightly.

--Thanks sweetcheeks

--aw its nothing, lets go back to bed alright?

--Ye, that sounds good

《♡♡♡♡♡》

Someone wacks her arm.

Jerico opens her eyes sleepily, and sits up rubbing them.

--hm?--she asks then turning to her boyfriend.

Nightmares again.

Engie jolts awake with a shaky gasp, and then looks at his partner.

--Sorry to wake you up darlin' -- his voice was still shaky-- i didnt want to wake ya up

--Dont apologize, come here-- she hugs him, while his arms go around her waist.

He sniffs, snuggling closer to her chest.

Jeri softly guides him back to lay on the bed, her legs wraps around with his, caressing his arm going up and down.

Before she can say anything hes sound asleep, she chuckles and closes her eyes as well.

《♡♡♡♡♡♡》

German words invade the bedroom,medic is trashing around in the bed,pleading.

Jerico opens her eyes exhalted by the noise.

Hes having nightmares again.

Jer knew a thing or two about the germans past,the neglectful parents, the witholding of belongings or even food they put him through.

The doctor Curls up and snaps awake.

--hey...are you alright?--She asks in the best english she could muster.

He keeps silent,and she calls again.

--Med youre scaring me, are you okay?

--ja...I just...need a moment

He sits up and jerico launches at him,hugging him tightly as she can.

The Man gasps but hugs back burying his face in the crook of her neck.

--Sorry I wake you up--

--Nonsense!-- jerico cups his cheeks with teary eyes,--dont apologize for that...just dont--medics brows furrowed, he knew how emotional she could get-- youre not annoying...you are not disposable..

The german doctor caress her cheeks.

--i know the struggles of neglectful parents first hand, youre not what they said you were, youre amazing to me, youre my all and more and, and if it wasnt for you, I dont know where I would be right now..

The Man Coos with his own tears in his eyes, they both kiss as the tears fall down.

The start to sniffle and laugh togheter as they held eachother falling to the bed.

Both feeling the love they had for the other.

《♡♡♡♡》

(Jer is female presenting but uses he/Him pronouns here).

He didnt know what time it is, jerico turns off his phone as the sudden feeling of something,Someone shaking distracts Him.

Its sniper again.

The aussie jumps, being awaken by the horrid nightmare.

Jer quickly scoots closer to him and caress his back.

--Do you want anything?--jeri asks, pressing a kiss to his boyfriends neck, who shakes his head while rubbing his face in the palm of his hands.

Jerico knew that was horse shit, some tea Will help him sleep.

--Ill be right back -he stands up going to the vans kitchen.

While the water heats up she sits grabbing her guitar, tunning it.

The sound distracted sniper, and Walked down as he heard his boyfriend sing, with a tiny lovesick smile.

--I was five and he was six

We rode on horses made of sticks

He wore black and I wore white

He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down

Bang bang, I hit the ground

Bang bang, that awful sound

Bang bang, my baby shot me down

The guitar was enough to make him snap out of it, but jericos Voice made him feel relaxed.

Just as jer was about to sing the kettle started to make noises.

He grunts and puts the guitar back, and serves the tea.

--You dont need ta do all of that roo--

--Shut up-- he snaps back qs he gives sniper the tea.

He snorts as jeri sits with him.

--Youre so cute you know that?

Sniper chokes on his tea.

--m not--

--Youre cute deal with it Mundy

He rolls his eyes, its better than any nightmare.

《♡♡♡♡♡》

Jerico knew spy was missing.

She sits back and sighs as she sees his shadow in the smoking room.

Well, it seems like another nightmare.

She stands up and walks over to him, his hands are shaky.

--che-- her voice is sleepy-- todo bien?( hey...its everything alright?)

--Yes,go Back to sleep--the frenchman says rather rudely.

He just wasnt in the mood.

--Come with me...

--No

-- Fine, then ill stay here till you come with me -- she grabs one of her books, and sits on the floor right Next to the fireplace.

The flames seem to come to life as she does so, providing more light for her to read.

--Id appreciate it if you could stop playing with the Fire

--and id appreciate it if you could go back to sleep with me , looks like both of us aint getting what we want...

Spy recognized the book, its old, and one of her favourites, he still needed to learn terran, but the cover said 'old folk terran tales'

He grunts and keeps Reading his own book, until he hears her mutter to herself.

-- 'its all the same'the goddess of the Sky claimed' stars are like destiny and fate its like the Gates I protect, I dont know why I was chosen yet im here obeying my duty' and then, the grumpy god of war, sighed and nodded' dreams are nothing but that,if fear is what we dream of, then what?'

The goddess laughed and shaked her head 'Fear is love, we want to protect what is our and sometimes we cling too much to it, but of course they Fear can be Turned to peace if the right person is there for you'

'And that means?'

'Well, you had a bad dream, and you came all the way here, you god of dreams'

The old god grunts again' I guess youre right' --

Spy shakes his head and closes his book, heading to bed.

Jeri Snickers and closes hers leaving it back on the Shelf.

Ther he is in bed with the grumpiest expression she has ever seen him with.

--Just for zhe record-- he says-- im not here because of your fable book...

-- sssssure

She lays down with him and hugs him.

--Grumpy ass

(Okay to rb!)

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macklives · 5 years

Text

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

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fisherfurbearer · 5 years

Text

fuck sam walmarts

and fuck management

I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.

as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.

this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares

basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.

decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track

today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in

i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch

i gott my first break on timeish.

then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok

really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of

anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while

but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk

i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD

nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone

im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,

manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry

and theyy just. fckkng

ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”

i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh

this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...

she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt

andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????

andd i jjst

ive HAD IT with her

ive had ittt

im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that

then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome

ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.

i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD

I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO

i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow

she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas

i d ont know what to doo

i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh

ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff

i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww

i jjst dont know what to doo...

i cantt stop cryingg

i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.

last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash

goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.

#jjst...ffeels like shes violating somethingg #and treating me a LOT like how my abusive mother used to treat me #why are you CRYING? you cant be trying here. this is a BUSINESS.#is a lot like Why Do You look so MISERABLE all the time?? why are you CRYING??#and shit like IGNORING ME when i try to change my hours #straight up ignoring me #she basically made it clear shed rather me QUIT than fuckingg chop 2 hours off my AVAILABILITY #ITS SO FRUSTRATING #AND SHES SUCH A HYPROCRITE #scheduled 7-2 every sunday!!#yet you cant change my availability to 7-7??#you NEED ot keep it until 9???#but working until 9 and getting home around 10 and getting no sleep because i need to take care of my pets and myself #and get up at 5:30 the next morning for work at 7 #WHEN THAT COULD EASILY BE ALTERED BY CHIPPING A COUPLE HOURS OFF MY AVAILABILITY #AND MY DOCTOR ALSO THINKS I NEED TO CHANGE IT TOO #BUT WHO FUCKING CARES RIGHT ITS A BU S I N E S S #SURE SURE BUT WHEN A CUSTOMER FLIPS THE SIGN ON A $7.94 SHIRT #TO SAY 0.94 CENTS #WITH THE CENTS SIGN!!!!#THEN I HA V E TO HONOR IT #THATS A+ BUSINESS RIGHT THERE #BITCH DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPROVE A COUPON ON SLEF CHECKOUT!!!!#AND OUR FRICKING STORE MAANGER MAKES TRIPLE FIGURES!!!#BUT NO ONE FUCKINGG CARES #NO ONE FUCKING CARES #I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMOREE #id dont want to have to lose my job and stability over this one person #but this isntt...ok #i shouldnt have to go to work and deal with MORE emotional abuse

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theselkiesea · 6 years

Note

Hey buddy, sorry your day sucked! How about some bookish asks to distract: 1, 3, 6, 8?

Thanks darling! Always love talking to you about books :) xxx

Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why?

Man that’s tough. Well, the one that pop’s to mind first is The Visitors by Simon Sylvester. The book has Selkies and anyone who knows me knows that I am daft for Selkies!

The book is about a girl called Flora who lives on a island in Scotland and her boyfriend is leaving to go to university in England and she feels that she is missing out on life being stuck in her home. As he is saying goodbye to her they see that there are people moving on to the isolated island just across the way.

A father and daughter. They appear to be a little strange but Flora becomes fast friends with the girl.There are also there are disappearances happening on the island of some of the locals, some folk think they might just have left to live elsewhere but something bigger is going on.

Jeez I suck a summaries, anyway, so why do I consider it one of the best books I’ve ever read? Firstly, it’s set in Scotland so already it scores huge points. I think it is wonderfully written, the author describes the scenery so beautifully and, I know that folk hate it when men write teenage girls but omg Simon gets it perfectly. There is nothing cringey, from what I remember there is no talking about girls body parts like some male authors who try to write about girls. There is some sexual stuff in it but again it doesn’t feel creepy, it’s adult in the sense that it’s been taken seriously if you know what I mean.

Towards the end, oh man, aahhh trying not to give away spoilers. Ok so, I was prepared for the book to go a certain way, I didn’t think it was going to commit to a certain element of this book but omg it did and I was so happy!

It’s an utter shame that this book isn’t super popular as I think everyone would enjoy this. Man, just talking about it makes me want to re-read it straight away!

Are you the type of person who will read a book to the end whether you like it or not, or will you put it down straight away if you’re not feeling into it?

I will finish a book. I know if I don’t like something I shouldn’t bother with it anymore but I’ve already invested my money and time into it so might as well keep going. But that’s just me haha

Are there any genres you will not read?

I won’t read historical fiction set in World War 1 or 2. It’s not for me. I’ve read a few and I’ve not liked any of them. Ont of my favourite childhood series, the second book is set in WW2 and that is my least fave in the series.

Do you prefer to read first person or third person?

I prefer third person. I do like first person but there are times that I’m really not in the mood for that perspective and sometimes I really need to psych myself up to read a book in first person.

Like, the book I’m reading the now goes from third person to first person a and I’m finding it hard to just sit down for a long reading session.

#book stuff

1 note · View note

shadowed-moonrise · 6 years

Text

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

8 notes · View notes

saltynemo · 7 years

Text

Break-Up

WHATADO Everybody its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfic. Noq today I'm gonna disappoint you and leave you with a cliff hanger. I made a Brendon Urie fluff awhile ago but life has been busy lately. Btw, small angst at the end (I'm Jena from the future: excuse writing errors and shit cause this is one of my first stories)

Summery: Y/n decides to fly out to Brendon to comfort him about the Break-Up he has recently went through. This gives him and Y/n quality time together and things start to spark, but not in the way you think

Type: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: Cussing, Small angst at end, Fluff, I think that's about it

Requested?: Kind of, Yea

Word Count: 3.4k (3,478 words)

PT.2

Now without further ado, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT

I have been friends with Brendon since 2nd grade. We do everything together! His family adores me and its like im Brendons sister. I was there with Brendon when he had his first Flirting experiance. I was there with him when he had his first Break-Up. I am almost always there for him and there is nothing separating us. Mostly, the only time were apart is when hes on tour or I have things to do. But this time, he is touring and playing his usual gigs and I decided not to tag along with him. I didnt decide to go this time because of his girlfriend, Audrey. She has always been such a snob to me and I just never liked her. The number one reason I didnt like her is because she abuses Brendon. Its just that Brendon loves her too much to even notice! I try to tell him, but he just keeps telling me the same thing over and over again, "Shes just annoying me with her love and affection" And I keep replying with the same answer over and over again, "Shes abusing you and your money!" After a while, I gave up...Brendon loved her and Audrey didnt so much love him.

I woke up to the sound of a vibration next to my head. I lazily turn over and answer my phone in a groggy voice, "Hello..?" I heard sobbing on the other line, and I could tell it was Brendons. "Brendon, are you ok? What happened? Its..3 am" "S-he bro-ke up wi-th me.." Brendon stuttered. He was histerical. I tried to calm him down by telling him im here for him and such, but most of it didnt work. "Damn, i wish I could be there to give you a hug! You sound horrible" I say, on the verge of tears myself. "Y-yeah i wish too. Why d-o i d-do this to myself?! Am i t-too nice?" Brendon sobs. I tell him that hes too caring for some of these woman and to take a break. We talk back and forth about what happened and how we can resolve it. "Its 3 am Y/n..ill let you go. Ill just cry myself to sleep.." Brendon sniffled. We both say goodnight and I dial Josh's number. "Hey Josh?" "Yea, Y/n?" "Did you hear from Brendon yet..? Im kind of worried for him" I ask, pacing around my room. "Yea, i heard him talking on the phone with someone about his ex. Was that you?" Josh replies. "Yea, that was me. Also, how do you know he broke up with Audrey?" "Oh yea! I went on tour with him, just to tag along. Since im still on my haitus I thought i would give him some company" He says. "How long have they been broken up? Did it just happen?" I say, raising my voice a little. Josh starts to tell me the long story of how Brendon and Audrey broke up. It was pretty violent from my perspective. I hear sobbing in the backround as Josh went on with his story. "Wait, im gonna go outside..i feel like im destroying Brendon by telling you the story" Josh says, moving away from Brendons hysterical voice. "Brendons pretty..heart broken. Like is there any way you can calm him down? Your the only person I know who is that close to Brendon" "I tried! But i dont think I can do it over the phone, you know what I mean" I reply, leaning my head on my hand. "Is there any way you can like..come down here?" Josh asks. I can hear him pacing around outside. "I dont have the money ya know..im living in an apartment" I say, laughing a little bit. Josh chuckles but cuts out his laugh mid way. "I can PayPal your flight! Like-please come over here? Brendons destroyed..do it for him" "Ugh! Fine..Ill have to order the Tickets right now then. Send me your PayPal info and ill get packed" I sigh. "Sweet, Y/n!! I knew you would do it" "But ill need a ride..Can you do it?" "I dont think so..ill ask Tyler or Patrick. Both of them love you so it wont be a problem" He replies. I lay back on my bed, phone still next to my ear, "Welp, ok! Cya then. And dont tell Brendon about this..I want it to be a suprise" I say, smiling uncontrollably. "You gotcha. Cya then" Josh says. I could tell him winked by his tone. We said our goodbyes and I put my phone down. I sighed very loudly, almost thinking my neighbors could hear me. I sit back up and limp over to my Computer

Josh sent me his PayPal info and I bought the plane tickets. The plane was scheduled to leave at 3:00 pm tommorow. I closed my laptop and jogged over to my closet, packing up so I wont have to do it later. I didnt think much on what I should bring, but I threw in a couple outfits, toothbrush, hairbrush, and some headphones all into one SuitCase. I zip it up and put it to the side. Its now 4:00 am. I should get some rest..since I got lots of planning to do. I crawl back into bed, trying to put my worries about Brendon and my schedule aside.

*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Brendon's High notes*

Its 1:30 pm..I called a Taxi so I can get driven to the Airport. Josh texted me telling me that Petes going to pick me up. Im always excited to see Pete and..pretty much all of my Friends, so i was excited. Once we got to the airport, I payed the Taxi driver and headed for the long journey of ID Checking and security. Once I hit my first checkpoint, I put my bag on a conveirbelt and show them my Passport and ID. They aprove it and I grabbed my stuff. I found a very comfy bench near the Exit to where my plane is. I sit and wait forever, untill they finally call my plane. "Plane 3A!! All abourd 3A!" The flight attendant shouts. I pick my stuff up and head twords the door. I show her my plane ticket and I head to the back of the plane

The plane ride was quiet and peacefull to my suprise. No crying children, no kids kicking the back of your seat, and no rude or distracting people! I put my headphones on and put my music on shuffle. The very first song to come on was 'Dont Threaten Me With a Good Time'. I smiled brightly and tapped my foot to the beat as the plane flew through piles of clouds. I knew this was going to be a fun trip.

The seatbelt light flashed aboved my misty eyes. I packed up my things and secured my seat belt. I have always hated the landing of a plane, it just uneased me. The plane decended to the ground and skirted to a hualt. All of the passengers, including me, exited the plane through the door and a tunnel. Once I reached the end of the long corrador, I saw Pete! "Hey Petie!" I cheered, giving him a quick hug. "So nice to see you, Y/n!" "Hows Brendon?" I asked, pulling away from the hug. "Oh, about him, Hes...still depressed. I took a picture of him about 30 minutes ago" Pete exclaimed, showing me a photo of Brendon's head down, his arms hiding his face. He was in a position as if he were playing 'Heads Up Seven Up'. "Aw man...sucks" I say, itching the back of my neck. "How about we go suprise him now?" Pete said adding a cute smile. I smiled with him and we walked out of the airport.

Once we reached petes car, I threw my bag into the back seat and hopped into the passanger chair. "How about we play some music so we dont have an akward car ride" Pete said as he sat down in his drivers seat. "Sounds great, give me the aux chord" I demanded as i smiled a little bit. "Just dont play trash! You got it?" "Yea yea, I wont" I said, trying not to laugh. I typed into Youtube: "Josh says Penis Sized Nipples for 10 Minutes". I tried my best not to laugh hystericly, but i let out a small giggle. I plugg in the aux chord and I turn the 'music' all the way up. "Penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples, penis sized nipples" blasted in the car. I couldnt hold it in any longer and I bursted out laughing. Pete joined with me and was hystericly crying while trying to drive. I was about to change it when Pete stopped me: "Keep it on, and roll the window down!" He yelled through the 'penis sized nipples', echoing in the car. I rolled down the window and pretended to dance to it. We both laughed and drove to our destination, laughing all the way.

Once we reached the building where Brendon and our friends were, I turned off Joshs voice and put my phone in my pocket. "Here ya go" Pete said, swinging my bag over my shoulder. I wasnt expecting that so i crippled a little bit. "Sorry" Pete laughed. I smiled a bit and began walking to the front door. I reached my hand out to open it when Pete held my wrist, stopping me. "Before you go in there...just know Brendons sensitive right now..do your best to help him, he is seriously depressed." Pete said lowly. "I understand, now let me talk to him" I whisper back. Pete let go of my wrist and opened the door for me. I stepped inside to see all of my friends..especially Brendon. Josh, Tyler, Patrick, Joe, Andy, and all of the important folks were here. I waved to all of them and pressed my finger againts my lips. They all nodded and smiled, watching me creep up to Brendon. He was still in the same exact position from an Hour ago. I saw an empty glass of whisky by his side with a mountain of tissues. I dropped my bag besides a wall and leaned my mouth to his exposed ear. "Im always here for you Buddy" I whisper in his ear, putting my hands on his shoulders. He quickly lifts his head up, exposing his red & stuffy nose. His eyes were puffy and red from all of his crying. "Y/n" He asked in a suprised tone. He quickly rapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I hugged him tightly, softly rubbing his back in the process. "Im so glad your here with me Y/n..ive missed you so much" He whispered, holding me tighter. His chest was warm and I never wanted to leave this position. "Ive missed you too, Brendon" I reply, lightly pushing him away. Brendon let go of me and gave me a bright smile through his depressed state. I smiled with him, knowing ill make him feel better.

We stared at eachother for a little while, enjoying our facial features and what not. Finally, Brendon snapped out of it. "Im gonna go clean the-uh-tissues up" He said, walking away to the mountain of tissues. "I knew you could do it" Josh whispered in my ear. I glanced at him, "I didnt expect him to feel better that fast, wow" "What would he do without you" Josh added, smiling and walking away. I found a chair to sit on as I watched Brendon joke and play with his friends. I leaned my head on my hand, day dreaming. "Hey, Y/n/n" Said a blissful voice. I turn my head to see Patrick. "Oh, hey Pat" I said, making room for him. "You really did wonders for this guy, ya know?" Patrick said, adjusting his sitting position. "Yea..I guess I did" I paused thinking of a question. "Speaking of Brendon...when did Audrey and Brendon break up?" I asked, turning my head to face him. I saw Patricks jaw clench at my question. "You know how Brendon called you?" I nodded in response. "He called you right after they broke up. Audrey stormed out of here and i dont know where she is. I hope she doesnt come back" Patrick added, folding his hands and looking down. "I really do hope so too" "But look at the bright side, Brendons bank account wont be empty" Patrick said, laughing a little. I laughed too, relizing he was right. I looked at my watch: 7:10. "Shouldnt Brendon be getting ready for his Meet&Greet with fans?" I asked Pat. "Oh, shit. Your right. Hey Brendon: Meet and Greets at 7:30!" Patrick shouted, getting up from his chair. He shot me a quick wink before walking over to Brendon. I smiled and got up, grabbing Brendons phone from a bench. "Here Bren, I think you might need this" I say, jogging over to him. He smiles and takes it, "Thanks, honey" He winks as he walks back to a table. The nickname he gave me cought me off guard, making me stand still. Tyler patted my back, making me come back to relization. He laughes as he follows Brendon.

I grab the Millions of pens lying on the floor and follow them. I set them on the Meet&Greet table and Sat in a Chair. I grabbed a hard, wooden surface, incase I had to sign things too. Brendon's fanbase loved me, even though I really wasnt that popular. "Y/n, you can sit at the table, I dont bite" Brendon calls, offering me a seat. I smile and sit next to Brendon. I thank him for the offer and we wait for the millions of fans to enter. I glance around the room, looking at Tyler, Josh, Patrick, and the security guards. I saw Andy and Joe, leaning againts the wall on their phones. "Here they come" Brendon whispers into my ear. I grin as I see fan girls come around the corner, with million doller smiles on their faces. The security guards step up, making sure the girls dont attack us. Suprisingly, the fan girls behaved very well. No cluttering or fighting or anything.

After about 30 minutes of watching Brendon sign papers, a girl comes up to me. She has brown, curly hair with freckles. She looked very sweet. "Arnt you Brendons close friend?" She asks, holding a binder closley to her chest. "Yea, I am. How did you know?" "Oh, I mean he posts about you all the time! Im suprised no one reconized you yet" She adds, placing the binder on the table. "Do you mind if you can sign my binder?" "Of course not! And whats your name" I reply, grinning as i sign my name onto the front cover of her binder. "Its Scarlett" She replies, smiling uncontrolably. "Thats a pretty name. Here ya go!" I complimented her. Scarlett smiles from ear to ear and takes her binder back. "Thank you so much!" She says, skipping away back to her friends. I smiled at her as I continued to watch Brendon. "I guess you got a fan" He whispers in my ear. For some reason, that sent chills down my back, making me jump a little. "Your jumpy today" He whispers again, handing a girl back her paper. I bite my lip and grin at him. He smiles and we both put our attentions back to the fangirls.

*TIME SKIP brought to you by Brendons body*

"Ok! Meet&Greet is over! Exit the room please!" The security guard yells. The room is filled with fangirls groaning and leaving the room. "Y/n..my hand hurts like crazy" Brendon groans, holding his hand. "I only signed a couple, so i guess im just lucky" I chuckle, placing my hand over Brendons, massaging it. He groans, smiling a little bit. I rub his hand as I hear snickering in the room. I ignore it and I continue to rub his hand. "Thanks Y/n. I dont know what I would do without you." Brendon says, smiling at me. I take my hand away from his and grin back. "Come on love birds, lets go watch Netflix!" Josh yells to us as he jogs to the cough. I laugh at his comment and get up, following Josh. Tyler, Andy, Pete and Joe were all sitting on the cough together, while Patrick is making popcorn. "Move, Im gay" I say, sitting on the couch. They laugh as they all scootch down. "Nice Brandon Rodgers referance" Andy comments. I laugh in response and Patrick sits on the carpet infront of us. "Get some popcorn before my fat ass eats it all" He says, holding up the popcorn bag for everyone to get. I took a hand full and stuffed it in my mouth. I feel a kernal of popcorn fall from my mouth and down onto my lap. I went to pick it up when suddenly, I see Brendons hand snatch it. "Hey! I was gonna eat that" I say, lightly pushing him. He laughs as he stuffs it in his mouth. He sits directly infront of me on the floor, along with Pat. "What are we watching?" Josh asks, scrolling through movies. "Fight Club" We all yell in harmony. Josh laughs as he hits the 'Select' button for Fight Club. We all seddle down and watch the movie.

After about an hour into the movie, I hear a knock at the door. "Ill go get it.." Pete groans, getting up from the couch and slowly jogging to the door. I put my attention back to the screen, when all of the sudden I hear Pete raise his voice. "Audrey?! What are you doing here?" Pete asks. I quickly turn my head to the door. I really didnt wanna go see her or even move. I cover Brendons ears, knowing the name will hurt him. "Im fine Y/n" He laughs, holding my hand. I smile and I take my hand away. "Brendon doesnt want to see you! You hurt him pretty bad" Pete yells once more. "Ill go see whats going on" Patrick says as he puts the popcorn bag down and walks twords the front door. I keep staring at the conversation, wondering what Audrey wanted. "Move, Emo boy! Let me see Brendon" Audrey shouts, trying to shove Pete out of the way. "Darling, Im not budging. Its best if you leave" Pete scoffs, closing the door. Before the door can fully shut, I hear a thud. I quickly get up and walk twords the door. I see Pete holding his crotch as he backed away from the door. "Audrey! What the Fuck! Leave right now, before I make you!" Patrick yells, pointing to the door. "What the hell is going on!" Brendon yells, stomping twords the door. "Oh..Hi Brendon!" She cheers. I stay in my standing position while i watch the battle set sail.

"What are you doing here?" Brendon asks. "I came here to see if I left my bra here" She said with a smirk. "Do you really think I still have your slutty bra?" Brendon says, walking infront of me. "Well, you must know what it looks like. We have had amazing sex before" Audrey comments sarcasticly. I feel my face burn with anger and embarissment. He stays quiet. "Cant you just leave? Were trying to watch fight club!" Josh, Tyler, Andy, and Joe all say from the couch. I snicker at the remark, but turn back to Audrey. "Well, if you dont know what it looks like, it looks like this" Audrey says, unbuttoning her shirt quickly and exposing her lingera bra. Patrick and Pete turn away from her and face the wall. Brendon is too angry at her to even look away. "Its best if you leave right now!" Brendon says, rasing his voice. "Oh cmon baby..I know you still want me..dont fight it" Audrey says, stepping twords Brendon. I push Audrey and get between her and Brendon. "Move away, slut" She scoffs, pushing me away with all of her might. I was strong, with no doubt, but I wasnt expecting this force. I was pushed back into the wall, my head hitting the wood hard. "Audrey! This need to stop, you should le-" Brendon begins to say, before being interuppted by Audreys lips. He tried to back away but she kept moving into the kiss. I felt my face burn with anger. Everything was happening in slow motion. I ball up my fists, trying to contain my anger. "What would I do without you" echoded through my brain. My face begins to scrutnch up and my eyes are blurred with tears.

(I put the cliffhanger so that you will beg me for more...unless I wrote a terrible fanfic. But whatever. I hope you enjoyed it and cya next time or somethin. Like for more!)

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