#i know it makes no contextual sense but its the one i know

[4plus1313]

numbers n letters

[vynegar]

help i have such Opinions on translation now

[koushirouizumi]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure tri. x H o n e y L e m o n S o d a (2015) + T A K E R U & Hikari

{"When are you going to C O N F E S S?"} "K O K U H A K U" {"...When the T I M E is R i g h t--??...."} {"Doesnt it make getting R E J E C T E D

Being A Lot More A W K W A R D Around THEM??"}

"...Your current relationship basically ENDS."

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[tswwwit]

Cipher's Personal Portable Portal

'How they meet' won the poll!

So just to make things fully contextualized, as far as they're gonna be - here's the full first chunk of this stupidly long fic I'm writing.

I hope you enjoy!

Standing in the wreckage of the burnt-out building, Dipper wishes he didn’t know who did it.

Anyone else would have left some trace sign. A scrape of blood, a hint of burnt hair. A friggin’ decent eyewitness report, even.

But here, like last time, and the time before that, and the time before that - there's absolutely zero traces. No video footage, nobody around at the time of the crime. Not even footprints.

Dipper kicks one of the remaining supports, sending a puff of charcoal up from the impact. 

If he knew the bastard’s name, he’d curse it all to hell.

With a sigh of exhaustion, Dipper sits on a chunk of scorched foundation. He pulls his shoe off to tip the ashes out of it; there’s enough that the resulting cloud leaves him coughing. 

Around him, the scoured west wing of the museum is silent, still, and empty. A grey-black skeleton of its former self, filled with dust and charcoal.

This arson is yet another one in a very, very long line of crimes. They’re not just ‘unrelated incidents’, or ‘bizarre coincidences’. Dipper’s not ‘being paranoid’ or ‘coming up with some pretty weird conspiracy theories’. 

There’s only one person who could manage this. The same guy who turned a bank upside down - literally -  and the same one who impaled a mob boss on an oversized silly straw and gave tails to half of a household last week.

It’s all connected.

Each crime is marked with the same style, mostly by how remarkably weird they are. Along with a thread of magic, distinct in its composition. One so distinctive that it's almost a flavor. Though admittedly, without certain magical analysis, it’s pretty hard to detect. 

And if other freelance magicians would take the time and look at Dipper’s notes, maybe one of them would help find this asshole.

Dipper stalks through the burned building, fists balled in his pockets. He stumbles over a fallen support column, and nearly trips before he makes a hopping retreat back. 

Though the culprit has been at his game - whatever ‘game’ that is - for a good half a year now, this is the most destructive ‘incident’ so far. Nobody was hurt, since it happened in the middle of the night. The one relief from a terrible crime, that only objects were obliterated in the process - 

But the ashes speak for themselves.

Here, there’s nothing left.

He breathes in slowly. Then regrets the attempt at calming himself as he coughs again.

Whatever the culprit’s initial motive was, it hasn’t lasted. He’s grown not only in ambition, but also in his abilities. Things are escalating at a rate Dipper doesn’t like to think about.

Someone has to get to the bottom of this. Before it’s too late. Dipper’s got his number, metaphorically speaking, so. Well, might as well be him. 

And when he proves that all of this chaos was created by the same person - 

Well. A little boost to his meager reputation couldn’t hurt. Maybe a few medals and accolades. There isn’t a trophy for best monster hunter, but he can imagine standing on a podium and -

Dipper waves that thought off, swearing under his breath. Stupid. He has better things to focus on.

He’s the only freelancer on the case. Definitely the only one taking this seriously, the only one who thinks it’s the same person to begin with -  and even he’s starting to have some doubts about ever finding the bastard. 

Six months of tracking this guy down, and what does he have to show for it? A ramshackle compilation of incidents, a vague feeling of magic, and a description that could fit any bottle-blond actor with bad fashion sense. Scraps. He might as well pin them up and connect them with red string for all the good it does him.

Another kick sends Dipper hopping back, clutching his foot with a swear. He winces at the hole in the tip, he nearly punctured his foot on a nail.

Just his luck. Wrong place, wrong time, always just barely avoiding disaster. Dipper shows up whenever there’s an event, he’s got the means to follow the guy - but he’s always just a little too late.

Even worse, lately the guy’s been picking places… not at random, exactly. More like he causes trouble wherever it’d be the most annoying to follow.

The culprit must know someone is on his trail. But he’s not making it impossible to keep up, or even majorly difficult for a determined pursuer. Just really, really irritating, like making moves at three in the morning, or pausing just long enough for someone to catch up, then heading right back where he came from. At one point Dipper had to trudge through a literal swamp, only to find that bastard had sauntered in by baking himself a neat little trail right through the damn thing. There wasn’t even footprints to follow.

It’s a repeated point in Dipper’s notes. Whoever this is, they’re a total, absolute dick.

With a sigh, Dipper runs his fingers through the ash on the museum’s floor. Not a single thing is left beyond the shattered glass of some display cases, and the charred remains of the building. Even the enchanted metal tools have been melted into slag. 

The day before yesterday, he could tell something was up. Building energy, something that felt like it was made by the culprit. Something with the twinge of a powerful curse, coiled and being wound up like a spring. 

Dipper spent that evening convincing - okay, maybe also bribing, thank you Stan for the idea - the museum to let him borrow materials. The day after that, he spent all night, morning, and most of the afternoon running around slapping up anti-curse emblems. The entire south of the city warded, in a fine careful net of spellcraft. The work was exhausting. Both in running around, and in the amount of magic he’d needed to use.

But it was worth it. That evening, in the quiet and very uncursed city, all the emblems activated. Dipper would have sworn he sensed someone in the distance, cursing his own name. That night he went to bed with a smug sense of satisfaction, floating on a cloud of triumph.

Which is probably why the bastard burned down the museum next.

With another sigh, Dipper tucks his notebook back into his knapsack. He’s gleaned all he’s going to for today; in the fading evening light, searching more is pointless.

So much for all the magical artifacts. Most of those had come in really useful in messing with the guy. 

…How the hell did the culprit know where they came from, though? He’d need a near encyclopedic knowledge of artifacts to know which ones Dipper used, then track them back to their origin. 

Or maybe he just searched on the internet. It’s hard to tell.

Dipper just wishes there were more clues. But just like every other incident, the guy up and freakin’ vanished.

No human can disappear like that without some very irresponsible use of power. That hope is one Dipper’s hanging his hat on. After six months? He has to be reaching his limits. He’ll burn himself out before he can manage too many more incidents. Maybe Dipper will find him by stumbling on his withered, dissolving corpse.

Whoever this is is pretty strong, but no power is infinite. He can’t hide forever.

It can’t be too much longer. Won’t be. Dipper has a plan, he’s gotten really close, and - He’s good at his job, damn it. He knows he is. 

Taking a deep, slow breath, Dipper lets it out. Patience is the name of the game here. He’s just gotta keep moving.

One day, he’s going to catch up with that bastard. He’ll see the guy in the flesh. Then he’ll grab that stupid dick before he can escape, again, and wipe that presumably smug look off his probably ugly face.

Turning around one last time, Dipper surveys the destruction, stuffs his hands in his pockets - and pauses. 

A speck of light glints in the pile of ash. The last bit of evening sun, shining off a metallic surface.

Alert with surprise, Dipper scrambles over to the pile. Kneeling down, he brushes the dust carefully aside, careful not to disturb anything fragile that might shatter if handled wrong. 

One thing did survive. Thank fuck, it’s not an absolute total loss. Just, uh… Ninety-nine percent of it.

He scuffles through the still-warm ashes, cupping his palms underneath the lump and lifting it from its bed. The motion sends white puff rising up as ash slips away from the artifact.

A small black, squarish thing rests on the pile, a bit larger than both his palms put together. The material is faintly warm from residual heat, insulated by the ash it laid in - and there’s not a mark on it. Not even a scratch. 

Dipper turns the artifact over in his hands with a frown. The shining black surface reveals no obvious buttons or secrets. Just a kind of phone-ish shape, though more square and squat. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say a guest dropped it on the rush to escape. 

The fact that it’s still intact though. Nearly glowing with magic, a tremulous feeling under his palms - this is not dropped by some clumsy tourist. Not even Ford could put this together.

 Wiping at the object with his sleeve, Dipper manages to clean off most of the smooth surface. On one of the sides, dust clings to the thinnest of engravings. The very faint outline of an equilateral triangle. No runes or other magical scribing, just… a shape.

Dipper thinks back but - no, he doesn’t remember seeing this in the collection. A quick check online reveals…

Basically nothing. There are - were - a bunch of stone and metal slabs in the archives, all described so poorly as to be useless. Some are even bunched up in groups. ‘Magical slab 1-24’ and ‘Metal artifact 1-78’, no description involved.

Not surprising. Probably dug up in some mass excavation site, transported here, then never really looked at again. The bulk nature of the shipment means it was overlooked, its magical properties never discovered.

After today, he’s just glad that even one item escaped this onslaught. 

The other artifacts must not have had much to them. But some magical property in this artifact’s making must have saved it from the blaze. Fireproofing, perhaps? Against weird fire? That’s unusual. Maybe even unique.

As the only survivor, it really needs investigating. 

Dipper glances over his shoulder, then around. With everyone evacuated, it’s quiet in the rubble. Nobody here would notice if, say… a clue wandered off.

The artifact slips easily into his pocket. The shape conveniently looks just like a phone, even if the shape’s a bit off. Not something that would attract any attention.

Whistling nonchalantly, ducking out of the way of local law enforcement and any onlookers - Dipper makes his escape. 

Another day of pursuit. Another scene of disaster, the culprit there and gone in the blink of an eye. 

He’ll be up to something new, next. Never the same thing twice, never in the same place. 

Dipper will follow in his evil tracks, of course. But for tonight - his fate is another crappy hotel room. 

He ditches his backpack by the door, slumping against the wall and its chipped paint. He could start going through his notes, and the pictures of the arson. Put in more work, find further connections - 

But it’s been a long day, and he’s tired. He might be magical, but he’s only got so much to work with. A reasonable night’s sleep, if he can manage, will make the task loom less horribly over his tired brain.

With a sigh, he drops back on the mattress. There’s some bounce to it, springs squeaking like they’re full of mice. Hell, maybe they are. The type of room he can afford isn’t exactly decadent.

That, though, should be temporary. Dipper’s career is only just starting; freelancers in the ‘solving magical problems’ scene don’t get great rates. Especially as a beginner. Definitely without a partner; it makes him look super young. Like he’s just starting out, fresh-faced and not having any inroads.

Because this field is really stupid, and doesn’t pay attention to results. Dipper’s been fine on his own for years, and he’s done really cool things without that ‘networking’ crap. 

All by himself. Totally cool with that, because Dipper’s a cool guy, sometimes. If Mabel hypes him up enough on one of their phone calls, he almost believes it too.

Though it would be nice to have some backup, it’s hard to find someone who really gets the job. Or does it in the way that Dipper goes about it. The number of people who are willing to take long treks in hyper-magical territory to search for an obscure clue, or set up really complicated traps for  dangerous monsters, or talk over high-level magical theory while sitting in the rain all night just to get one body-snatcher are…

Well, besides Ford, who recently retired, there aren’t any. Only Dipper himself.

One day, things are going to change for him. All his effort will pay off. If he keeps solving mysteries, and fighting monsters, he’ll forge a reputation as someone who always gets the job done. No matter how hard it is, he can handle it. The work is picking up, too. The last six months have shown the biggest series of magical incidents in decades. 

And he’s gonna be the one to get to the bottom of it.

Dipper Pines, the guy who proved it’s all connected. He’ll have it laid out in facts and math, all the evidence. They’re all gonna see that he was totally right.

Once he finally gets this guy, everything’s going to start looking up. 

The sheets rustle as Dipper settles back, holding the artifact up over himself. He stares into the black surface, and a slightly distorted reflection narrows its eyes back at him. 

A good mystery always intrigues him. This one should take his mind off the other, irritating one for a while.

The only remaining object from the fire is clean and smooth. A mysterious creation, of unknown purpose. Clearly riddled with magic, too; Dipper feels it running just under the surface like a rapid current. It gives the artifact a weight that has nothing to do with mass. 

Power.

Did the criminal see this artifact, still intact after all the other magical objects were gone? Did he try to destroy it too, and fail? Or simply not notice he’d missed one out of thousands?

Whatever it is, it’s got a lot more going on than meets the eye.

Dipper casts a quick identifier, which comes back with nothing. He’s not surprised. That’s the first thing anyone would try. If it was that simple, he’d already have the full description off the site. 

With a shrug, he traces another set of runes, his own version, adding a little more oomph behind it - 

And the magic leaps back instantly, with the bizarre sensation of a bouncy ball hitting concrete.

“Huh,” Dipper says, thoughtfully. He sits up, hunching over the slab in his hands. “Now that’s new.”

A more subtle approach, then. Tracing the lines of energy with the barest brush of magic upon magic reveals something deeply complex. Thin layers twist together deep under the surface, building an entire circulatory system. Dipper has to put it down for a moment, suddenly worried that it is organic. 

When a cautious prod doesn’t get a response, he relaxes. Not fleshy, just complicated. Which also proves he was right earlier - the artifact’s just as powerful as he’d thought. The spellcraft is unlike anything he’s ever seen. 

Dipper rubs his hands together, starting to smile. 

Even if he doesn’t find the guy he’s after, figuring this out could be a heck of a win.

Several attempts later, he’s beginning to get why this bastard brick got tossed in with all the other junk. 

Nothing here is working. It simply deflects. Standard spells poing off of it like rubber, while giving his magical senses an odd, back-of-the brain afterimage of a circle with a slash through it; a firm ‘nah’. 

Dipper nearly chucks the thing across the room in frustration, before shutting his eyes and taking several, calming breaths. 

Okay, weird thing, weird enchantment. The ordinary stuff won’t work. The magical logic is… twisted in a way that leaves it incompatible with most everything. He’ll have to find a different approach. 

“What are you?” Dipper says, low and frustrated. He gives the artifact a shake, as if he can knock the secrets out like a rock from a shoe. “What secrets are you hiding in there?” 

No response, not that he expected one. With a wry smile, he taps the sleek surface with a finger, twice. “C’mon, man. Talk to me.” 

Huge yellow letters flash onto the black surface. 

HEY

Dipper throws the artifact, a bit awkwardly since he’s lying on his back. It sails in the air in a high thin arc, landing with a thump between his legs. He scoots rapidly backward, sheets pulling up behind him. 

The artifact lies where it landed, an unmoving brick.  There’s magic in the air now, but no sense of any spell building, ready to unleash power to blow his face off. The latent spellcraft of the artifact has just been activated.

More text displays on the surface, bare except for the glowing letters. 

To the jerk that’s swiped my private stuff: You got some nerve! I expect this back by interdimensional mail in a week, or trust me - there will be consequences.

Dipper waits a full minute before he lets go of the headboard. Tentatively, he kneels near the…

 Is this a phone? 

Clearly it’s a communication device of some sort, with the freaking text messages. A phone is the obvious equivalent, only - he thought it looked far older than that, something way before mobile phones. Possible ancient. Is that a coincidence, maybe, or is it secretly modern?

Dipper taps the ‘screen’, just below the glowing words. To his surprise, there’s actually a keyboard, what the hell. This thing keeps getting weirder.

Since it hasn’t already thrown a horrible curse at him, or burst into flames - it’s reasonably safe to assume that it’s simply ‘on’. Not ‘explosive’. 

With hands that are definitely not shaking, he picks it up, and types,

Who is this? 

His own text pops up in blue. A strange contrast to the yellow, but he’s guessing it’s for convenience - there’s no bubbles to tell who’s said what otherwise.

A few seconds of nervous waiting later, there’s a response. 

Oh hey, you answered! Well, human - You’re talking to the one and only Bill Cipher, Dream Demon, all-powerful master of the Mindscape! I’d say it’s nice to meet ya but you’re not supposed to have a direct line to me!

Dipper raises an eyebrow. 

Now that’s one hell of an introduction. It might even have been interesting, if it didn’t smell of complete bullshit. 

Complicated spellwork, sure. Incomprehensible architecture? Maybe. Dipper can admit it; he’s never seen anything with a web of spells on it this complex, in such small of a package.

But the idea that Dipper just stumbled onto a demonic artifact of all things. One that wasn’t instantly detected, recorded, then ritually destroyed is…

Someone’s fucking with him. 

Dipper rolls his eyes as he types back,

Really? Demon? You can’t expect me to believe that. 

What, you calling me a liar? ‘Cause I am, but not about this! I got better things to mislead mortals about. This is my property, not something for your grubby mortal mitts.

Dipper snorts. Guess this person’s sticking with the bit. Obviously whoever created this would want it back - but too bad. Whether they’re delusional, stupid, or just a flat-out liar, they’re really good at enchanting. It’d be a waste not to study their work. 

He lies back on the bed as he replies.

Sure, have fun roleplaying, or whatever, it doesn’t make a difference. Finders keepers, losers weepers.

ARE YOU CALLING ME A LOSER. MORTAL.

Hmm, I’m detecting a certain amount of ‘crying about it’, so. Yeah. Suck it, loser.

Smirking, Dipper settles back - then his half-smile drops, as he holds the ‘phone’ a little further away from himself. 

Though the blue fire building up in the screen looks like a bad sticker effect, the artifact’s also getting a alarmingly warm. It vibrates in his hands - then suddenly stops, cooling down. 

Ha! Alright, alright, I admit - you got some balls.

Maybe you’ll change your tune once you REALLY know what you’re dealing with! Might wanna check the connection, if you’re even capable of it! Mortal magic doesn’t reach across dimensions!

With a grimace, Dipper taps his fingers on the phone. It’s slightly cooler now, but still worryingly reactive to… whatever happened on the other end. 

Damn. Whoever this is, they’re not only really really good at enchanting, they’re also pretty confident that tracking them down won’t spoil their game. The confidence exuding from this ‘Bill’s’ words feels genuine.

Honestly, though, the suggestion is a good one. Dipper should have tried to trace the call the second he knew someone else was on the line. 

Maybe ‘Bill’ thinks he won’t manage to find him. Joke’s on him, though; Dipper’s amazing at finding stuff. He’s the best tracker of magical anything in years. Maybe decades. With a solid, stable connection right in front of him? Hell, he could do this one in his sleep. 

Time to call the bluff.

He casts the tracing spell, though it takes longer than usual. A few gestures and muttered ritual aren’t gonna cut it; he has to improvise around the strange construction of the enchantment. Even trailing along the magic seems harder than usual, like it resists mixing with his own, and it takes him a few attempts to match the signal. 

Once he finds the right way to tune it… the lead snaps along the already-existing connection, and zips away to find its source.

The line extends out from the shabby hotel room, a plucked string in Dipper’s senses. It twists around the phone, rising slowly. Invisibly passing through the walls and the - 

Ceiling? Dipper looks up on instinct, even though nothing is visible.

From there it swirls around in the air like a silly straw on steroids, and then - out, very far, in a way that isn’t up or down or left or right, just  

Away.

Dipper has to cut off the tracing spell before vertigo has him reeling. The swirling sense of standing on top of a skyscraper is followed by a flip in his stomach. That he’s using a device he barely understands that reaches out into something even more incomprehensible.

He drops the phone-artifact, trying to clear his head by shaking it rapidly. 

That’s not nearby. Not on this planet. Possibly, genuinely, not even in this dimension. 

Shit. Bill wasn’t bluffing.

Dipper wipes sweating palms on the sheets. To pick up the phone again takes an effort, willing himself to grasp it in unsteady hands.

A demon. 

All the monsters he’s fought, curses he’s broken, years of work tucked into his belt, and he’s never seen one of those. 

Demons are dangerous, evil, and very, very powerful. Consorting with them is by all accounts a terrible idea. He should never have picked this up. He should hang up, and throw the damn artifact out the window, hoping that nobody else makes as dumb a mistake as he just did. 

On the screen, there’s a long long scroll of yellow letters, filling the entire surface. ‘HA HA HA HA’ over and over and over again. 

Before he can think better of it, Dipper starts a response. He’s halfway through a sentence - what the fuck, that’s not funny- before he pauses.

Terrible evil monster. Stupid powerful. Probably Bill sensed the tracing of the connection, like he did with Dipper’s other testing. Bill wanted the result startle him. Because he thinks it’s funny.

Dipper grits his teeth, and glares at the screen. 

Actually, screw this guy. Dipper’s keeping the stupid phone. If for no other reason than spite. This ‘Bill’ guy seems pretty full of himself, like he’s totally above some human. He’s in for a bad time, then, because Dipper’s not going to let one little surprise scare him off.

Besides.  The average guy would get into horrible, even deadly trouble, whereas Dipper… sort of knows what he’s doing.  No, he is good at his job. Finding secrets, solving mysteries, thwarting evil jerks who think they’re oh-so-hilarious, the whole shebang. He does it all.

Taking another breath, hissing through clenched teeth - Dipper lets it out. Losing his temper isn’t going to help deal with an extradimensional being. He has to be careful.

He thinks for a long moment before he responds. 

Okay. Let’s say I believe you. Maybe. Then you should know I didn’t steal your… whatever this is. I found it lying around, and I just. Got kind of curious. 

HA HA HA! Of course you were! Careful with that impulse, kid, it kills more than just cats!

A jerk who definitely thinks he’s hilarious. Dipper rolls his eyes, then, rather pettily, decides to ignore that statement. 

More pressing questions take the lead. Like what the fuck he’s holding right now, and if there are any other nasty tricks in store. A little bit of him, bubbling under the surface, wonders what being a demon is like. What they get up to, common habits. Ways they could be tracked down and, y’know, defeated, maybe. 

Theoretically, he’s got a line to a bunch of innocent, totally not-thwarting-related information that could be super useful to someone trying to, maybe, be a super cool monster-fighter.

Dipper backspaces a bunch over some poorly thought out questions. First things first. Like what the hell he’s holding right now.

So. What is this?

Good question! The gadget you’re poking at with your sweaty meat-paws is paired to the one I have here at my place. A little one-on-one communication assistant, if you will. Once you started groping around with your magic, it wasn’t hard to tell someone had picked it up!

Dipper raises an eyebrow. Though he already has an idea… a little confirmation never hurts. 

Like, you got a notification? Or literally felt?

The latter! Kinda like smell, but by touching things with your eyeballs. And with all your prodding around you might as well have been stinking up the place! Your spells aren’t real subtle!

Hey, they’re subtle! Having weird extra senses is just cheating.

Sucks to be human, then! In that you suck at everything! What’s a LOSER like you gonna do about it?

Dipper nearly throws the stupid artifact again - but he holds back, gripping it tight. Instead he sits up, leaning down and hauling his backpack up from the side of the bed. 

Maybe Bill thinks he can’t do anything. That he’s some ignorant nobody, who doesn’t have any real skills or talent or doesn’t have any friends - but he’s got that wrong. Dipper’s not a loser. Bill’s not getting away with that bullshit.

One quick unzip and a bit of rifling around later, he finds what he was looking for. Carefully, Dipper bounces the heft of a flashlight battery in his hand. Shutting his eyes, he focuses on crafting a quick working.

Magic is all about energy, and its direction. Focusing power, conveying it from one place to another. Pushing anything across dimensions would take impossible amounts of energy, stuff Dipper doesn’t have. If it weren’t for a very convenient connection, already in his hand.

Dipper has nothing on hand to actually exorcise the guy - he’s not sure that’s even possible when Bill’s where he should be - but retribution is in order.

More text lines appear on the artifact. He ignores them. Changing this up to work with the demon device is a challenge, but after figuring out how to alter the tracking spell changing this one up isn’t hard. He adjusts the flow of magic this way, into the tangle of not-veins in the device that way, finishes the chant-

Then touches his tongue to the battery.

The jolt passes through him painlessly, following the spell. It zips along his nerves, down into his hand and from there - into the artifact itself. 

Where it should, theoretically end up right at that bastard.

Dipper tosses the battery back into his backpack. Picking up the ‘phone’, hunching over to stare at the screen. 

That worked. He felt the energy move… unless he got the math wrong. Or a detail of his spell. Or maybe demons are immune to electricity, and he just did something totally pointless. 

God. It might even prove Bill right, and wouldn’t that be the worst - 

The next line of text comes in. 

What the hell? A joy buzzer? That’s some real petty prank stuff! You seriously pulled that bullshit? And across dimensions?

A tense pause. Dipper taps the phone, checking for it heating up again - but another line pops up after a few seconds.

Y’know what, kid? I think I might actually like you! You’re FEISTY.

Dipper nearly does a double-take. 

But no, that - what? Aren’t demons supposed to be vengeful? He was half-sure he’d have to chuck the phone out the window before it exploded in his hands. 

In fact, you’re in luck! ‘Cause I’m pretty bored, and I can totally show you how to improve that jinx of yours! If you can keep up with a little theory, that is.

Because that’s not suspicious or anything. Conversation with a demon can only lead to ruin and disaster. He should absolutely, definitely stop this right in its tracks.

Still, Dipper shrugs, and types, 

Try me.

[noneorother]

The secret timeline inside of Good Omens season 2 revealed, *part1*

Part 1 l Part 2

If you’ve ever watched a ballet or an opera, you know how the rhythm in the music is used throughout to determine not only the movements of the dancers, but also when lines are sung or spoken. This is almost unheard of in television, but what if I told you it was hidden in season 2 of Good Omens? If one were to, say, meticulously cut together only the scenes set in the present day into one big timeline, you would get one long video that is exactly 2 hours 22 minutes 00 seconds and 00 frames long. An ineffable cut that is so perfect it defies all logic. (I’ve burnt a timecode into this ineffable edit to help pick up the rhythm.)

Even though there are large swathes of the second season with no music, there is a constant tempo weaving its way through the show: What if the seconds ticking by in the runtime itself was the music? Here’s an example of what I found. Behold a supercut of every single time Shax shows up, or Hell is mentioned in series 2 in the ineffable edit. They always arrive on a 6 in the time stamp (ex: 00:XX:X6).

(SOUND ON is an absolute must here, otherwise you won't hear any of the triggers)

Shax rings Crowley on a XX:X6. Shax miracles herself into the car on a XX:X6. Shax knocks on windows on a XX:X6. Shax’s big scary moment at the bookshop happens at 66 minutes exactly (lol). Crowley calls out for Shax on a XX:X6. Beelzebub starts spewing flies on a 6. People mention hell and it’s always on XX:X6 etc. etc…(Bonus: I also left in Maggie flipping the damned the double-bird on a XX:X6) I’ve also left in the only appearance of Shax or hell at all in the whole series that isn’t tied to a six: the park bench scene with Crowley. Shax seems to be off by one line, showing up on a XX:10, then back to XX:X6 on her second reply: “Bills, mostly”. I can only theorise that this scene, while technically in season 2, is not supposed to *be* in season 2 (even just judging by the trees, sun and the overcoats, it’s not summer like in the rest of the season). And it’s not only sixes! Every time I go through I find more and more little beats that line up exactly with ineffable timings. I can only do one video per post, so I’ll have to cut it up into sections, but Gabriel, doors, car horns, bird calls, Aziraphale, food, drinks, Angels, dialogue, Maggie, Nina, jokes, clocks, bells… The list goes on and on. 

Neil called this season “The bridge”

Because we all know how much Neil loves double meanings and wordplay, I just have to ponder the idea that when Neil said this season was “the bridge” between seasons 1 and 3, he meant it double-literally. First, as in the bridge Aziraphale and Crowley have to cross in order to get them into position for the second coming. We even see the physical manifestation of this bridge leading everyone in the background of the opening credits. But this season is also a bridge in the sense that it’s a musical section that introduces new ideas or material in the middle of a song. This whole season is the music that deviates from the familiar, and re-contextualizes the chorus and the verses so we can appreciate them in a new way. 

Let’s not forget that 2:22 is also exactly the same timing as this (and only this) track from the good omens s2 album (read all about the soundtrack here):

Why is this so bonkers? I think GOS2 might be the first ever “Total” series of television.

Having everything in the series timed and choreographed would actually make it a very faithful adaptation of the Powell & Pressburger film The Tales of Hoffmann (read about the movie and it’s effect on all of s2 here). If you watch the tales of Hoffman, you will realize that the entire film is actually done more like animation, with the music and vocals all performed in a studio, mixed and edited first, and then the actors came back to act out their choreographed and lip-synched parts for the cameras afterwards. The result is "Total film": a movie that feels more like a ballet, with every movement, action, and line happening in time with the music. As far as I can tell, very few films have ever attempted this, with The Tales of Hoffmann and Playtime being the only two “complete” films I could find in this style. (The Red shoes has one section, and An American In Paris has a few)

“Why would ambitious filmmakers simply film an opera? Many admirers of the work of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger have assumed that their decision to make The Tales of Hoffmann (…) was in some way an admission(…) that they couldn’t go on making their edgy, over-the-top melodramas after the rejection and interference they’d suffered, (but) there’s a case for considering The Tales of Hoffmann as one of the finest and boldest works that Powell and Pressburger produced, so far ahead of its time as a wholly “composed” film... Late in his life, Powell himself said that he thought it was one of the best films that he and Pressburger had made.” - Criterion review, Tales of Hoffmann

Here’s a simple example from An American in Paris

If season 2 *is* scripted and choreographed to line up with specific timings, I’m pretty sure that would make this the first ever “total” or “composed” season of television ever attempted. Not only does this take an ASTOUNDING amount of planning, scripting and editing finesse, not to mention a completely controlled set, it takes a real understanding of how to perform as an actor using rhythm and metre, which would go a long way to explain why all of the main actors coming back for season 2, with the exception of John Hamm, are well regarded theatre performers, (especially of Shakespeare).

I’ll leave you with one last surprise I found in the discovery of the ineffable edit: remember Aziraphale’s smile at the very end if the credits? It happens on 02:23:03, as the first step off the bridge, and into season 3.

I will have much more in the next ineffable timeline post. Stay tuned…

__________________________________________

Thanks for reading all the way to the end. It’s taken me a solid month to get this perfect. There are so many hidden cuts and jumps to take into account, and I had a frame rate issue that kept exporting to 29fps instead of 25fps, but I’ve finally nailed the ineffable timeline enough that I am confident sharing in it.

Credits to @thebluestgreen and @embracing-the-ineffable for all the support and help with editing and just general good vibes. 

[duckiemimi]

this was commented a while ago on my tiktok (it was about this post), but it’s so good, it’s stayed on my mind ever since. i’ve been meaning to talk about this for a while!

on geto & empathy.

let’s address the likely reason why people tend to see geto in this empathic light and through this lens that almost absolves him from blame.

the hidden inventory arc, especially towards the end, was written in a way that humanized geto; we read his mind, we saw his thoughts and how he processed them, we shadowed him as he went through traumatic event after traumatic event. we were placed in his shoes as he ran through a never-ending marathon—essentially, we were him in his moments. we’re supposed to empathize with him.

it’s why at first hand, his defection might’ve seemed like a logical conclusion to us. it made sense. (unlike how it was for every other character in the story, and especially how it was for gojo—geto’s decision came to them all as a shock.) this is what makes him a well-written character and an overall excellent villain.

it’s also probably why geto is such a personal character to many people, but this intimate association doesn’t make him faultless. yes, he was a victim of circumstance, but so was everyone else in the story. geto was also a perpetrator who inflicted harm on other people: a genocidal cult leader who had his eyes set on the greater good, someone who disregarded the means for the end. “well-written,“ in my opinion, also means multifaceted, complex.

now let’s talk about geto pre defection.

geto is gojo’s foil. at first read, he’s supposed to contrast gojo in a way that highlights specific aspects of gojo’s character. (and vice versa, but this arc is also called “gojo’s past arc” for a reason; gojo is our main character in this part of the story, he is our point of reference.) geto serves as a comparison to gojo, but he also stands as his own character. where gojo failed to empathize with the “weak,” geto succeeded. but what was empathy to geto anyway?

empathy, in its colloquial connotation, is seen as a virtue. it’s a community-building tool and it’s inherently human. it’s how we contextualize our place in the world and our connection to other people. in broad construct, it’s a “good” quality to have, to be empathic—but not all forms of empathy are the same.

geto’s empathy towards the “weak” was, in a word, paternalistic—like how a father would interact with his children, or how a deity or a king would interact with their subjects. it stemmed from his arrogance and his “well-meaning” saviorism tendencies: in short, “i am better than you, therefore i know better than you. i know what’s best for you.” this is especially true in regards to his patronizing attitude towards non-sorcerers pre defection (and it extends post defection, too).

geto’s sense of duty as a sorcerer manifested in how he assumed responsibility, and to a lesser extent, authority over non-sorcerers. it’s a type of benevolent prejudice; these people are powerless and weak, therefore inferior to him, and so it’s his job to protect them, it’s his job to care. while he had good intentions, he saw them as “lack,” not as humans who were ultimately just different from him. he saw them as helpless victims of themselves; which, given his occupation at the time, was an apt contextualization, but within the bigger picture, it ironically dehumanized non-sorcerers. it was underhandedly condescending, whether he was conscious of it or not.

the very root of his defection is this: he did not view non-sorcerers as equals to him in the first place. sure, plenty of other sorcerers also have this mindset, especially the very powerful ones, but geto made this the basis of his purpose, taking on the moral high ground by giving it meaning. after toji and after mimiko and nanako, he recontextualized and changed the meaning of what it meant to be powerful—but while his circumstances and his proximity to non-sorcerers changed (him revoking his empathy towards them), the patronizing way he viewed them (“monkeys” now) was constant; it was his pivot foot from charitable pity to resentment and hatred.

some things to consider: i assume geto was fairly new to the jujutsu scene in the hidden inventory arc, given his non-sorcerer family. i also assume he must’ve felt very alone prior to his enrollment, being the only one in his family to see cursed spirits, and possibly the only one in his childhood environment. this grand introduction to a some sort of a secret society must’ve felt special to him; it must’ve made him feel special, especially considering he was put on par with the kid who everyone thought was immensely powerful.

i can see why he thought himself better compared to the non-sorcerer background he grew up in. plus, it would be hard to not let your ego inflate when someone like gojo keeps referring to you as half of “the strongest duo.”

i also think that despite how black and white and consequential his outlook on life was before and after his defection, he probably still had his doubts and moments of wavering throughout his decade-long career as a curse user. i mean, he said it himself—his goal is only possible for one person only, and it’s not him. that could definitely be a factor, and it could also be some lingering sentimentality, too. he burned the bridge between him and his past and he just couldn’t risk the distance, but he probably thought of it sometimes.

i’ll end this post with a quote from him from the anime that made me really think. geto does care, but at such a young age, it was a juvenile and idealistic concept of “care.” had he stayed and grown up a little, worked through the trauma and organized with his fellow sorcerers (instead of assuming responsibility alone like he did, leaving to create a better future for sorcerers without including them in his plans), perhaps he could’ve made this a reality:

“survival of the weakest. that’s how a society should be. the weak help each other and discourage any who are too strong.”

[marzipanandminutiae]

man I wish there were a more nuanced way to talk about dress history’s darker sides without like.

making people feel guilty for thinking the clothes were pretty.

to be clear, I don’t mean this in the Conservative Pundit sense where literally any criticism of white/cis/straight/male privilege and its negative effects on society makes them cry about being Laden With Unfair Guilt(TM). I mean like...I don’t know. this Gotcha attitude I see sometimes that’s like

“think this dress is pretty? well IT CAME FROM A HORRIFIC SYSTEM SO THINK AGAIN, BOZO! BET YOU DON’T LIKE IT SO MUCH NOW HUH???”

obviously we should talk about the horrific systems (many many of them) in the past. if a garment was made from fibers processed by enslaved people, and sewn by teenage seamstresses making a pittance, that needs to be discussed

but I feel as if it would help to contextualize that with like

“who makes the majority of our clothing today? what conditions do they work in? what difficulties prevent us from simply opting out of having our clothes produced this way? who sets trends, and do people outside their social echelon also enjoy those trends?”

so that people get that they should be thinking about the past and how its legacy impacts us today, rather than tearing themselves up for Finding The Early 19th Century Cotton Evening Gown Pretty

there is no unproblematic period to enjoy clothing from, including the one we live in now. and it’s not productive to rip people a new one for Bad Fashion Preferences. to me, it’s the same as claiming that someone supports sweatshop labor because they said a Shein dress was cute once

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

In which I cling to the last vestiges of two of my favorite shows of the year, write a eulogy for one of the most disappointing, and rejoice over the entry of a new fav. These shows are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

Farewell to a wonderful show. @isaksbestpillow has posted all seven episodes as of last week, so if you've been waiting for a binge, now is your chance. I already said a lot about why I loved this one, so I'll just use this space to urge you again to watch! This show is a goddamn delight.

Takara's Treasure

The main narrative ended last week, but this week we got a sweet little epilogue and one more visit with Takara and Taishin. I enjoyed the brief glimpse into their near future and getting to see Taishin turn 20 with his very first fuzzy navel, though I was a bit sad we got a repeat of the finale's themes rather than treading new ground for their relationship (I could not have cared less about the fujoshi writing RPF). This was a lovely show and I will miss these characters.

Happy of the End

CWs: Assault, child abandonment, child molestation, childhood sexual slavery, dubcon (including between the main characters), human trafficking, rape, sexual coercion and exploitation, suicidal ideation/possible attempt, unsafe S&M practices, violence

A very rough week for this show in terms of the content--please mind the triggers above because these are explicit depictions and it can be hard to stomach. I am waiting to see where this show is going with its themes before I make a final judgment, but watching the fourth episode in particular, some parts felt like crossing the line into gratuitous trauma porn that provided little additional illumination. We'll see how it shakes out in the end, but please take care with this one. I continue to find the characters and relationship dynamics compelling, and I am invested in Haoren and Chihiro's attempt to have a relationship despite the metric ton of baggage they are shouldering between them. Neither is equipped to even have any idea what a healthy relationship looks like, but they see something in each other and they want to try. That tiny bit of hopeful but likely doomed thinking may be all we have to cling to in this story.

I Hear the Sunspot

Sigh. I am sad about what this show could have been. For me, the finale definitely did not succeed at sticking the landing and making the last six weeks of wheel spinning feel worth it, and this show is going down as one of the big disappointments of the year for me. As you know if you've been keeping up with this weekly post, I loved the first half of this show, and Taichi's original characterization, so much. And I don't understand what happened here. The second half has felt like a completely different, confused, demonstrably worse show. Taichi hasn't felt like himself in weeks, the plots with Maya and the job at Sign were poorly grounded, inconsistently executed, and offered little pay off either thematically or in terms of character development, and the romance writing was a complete failure. It was actually painful to see Kohei run after Taichi and confess to him again, and the directing and editing of that sequence was so muddled that I had no idea what I was supposed to understand about Taichi's emotional journey or why this was the moment he was suddenly able to reciprocate. After all that brooding and his big speech about communication, he did not communicate much of anything to Kohei in the end. And I'm supposed to be content with leaving them here? Deeply unsatisfying on just about every level.

I understand from @twig-tea that while the story followed the beats of the manga's first two volumes at a high level, this production chose to remove many of the contextual details that actually made sense of the characters' behavior. It also seems they didn't understand they were setting up character arcs that did not get resolved until a later volume the show will not cover, thus ensuring the story would end at the wrong place. Just a baffling set of adaptation choices, and so much wasted potential. It's a shame.

Love is Like a Poison

But at least we have a new favorite coming in hot a week sooner than expected! I absolutely loved this first episode, in which we meet Shiba, our cold-hearted lawyer with delusions of grandeur and a sexually charged fixation on his house plants, and Haruto, our flirty scammer who has his number. This show is really well written and packed a ton of story, comedy, and deep characterization into its first episode. It's a promising start! For now it’s only available grey outside of Japan; I am hoping it will get picked up for proper international distribution soon.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[archiveofliterature]

that one line about ramy's bangla being rudimentary made me absolutely sob (i'm bengali) and i wanna talk about why

there's so much to it both contextually with ramy's character as well as historically. contextually because ramy is fluent in 6 languages, an insane number of languages for one person but none of which are his mother tongue. he's described as a performer, one who knows he can't blend in so instead he stands out as a means to escape as much of the racism as he can. he gets lost in it that he almost forgets who he is; this is reflected in his language ability too – he gets so lost in his linguistic academics he just barely remembers the native language of his home place that he adores.

and honestly, you can't even really blame ramy for it at all when it was induced. it's the british who saw urdu, arabic and persian as more valuable than bangla, it's the british that make ramy put on this act so he can literally stay alive. and when you know the historical relevancies between urdu and bangla, it hurts so much that ramy was forced to forget bangla

very brief history context: after the partition, where british india was split into india, pakistan and east pakistan (now bangladesh) bangla was seen as inferior to urdu due to its hindu connections. bengalis experienced so much shit because of this (and bengali muslims are still dealing with the internalised cultural racism today honestly). pakistanis tried to make the official language urdu, even though literally everyone in east pakistan were bengali and spoke bangla, so bengalis fought back against it. we still celebrate that day today (feb 21)

so to have ramy be in this position in the 1830s where urdu was seen as superior to bangla, especially when ramy is a bengali muslim, is just extremely accurate?? and maybe it's bc we don't have much western literature where we talk about this but it's just so nice to have it acknowledged

the bangla language movement didn't happen until around the 1950s, over a century after babel's timeline, but the seeds are always there. while i do think it comes with both this islamic superiority tendency a lot of asians have (arabs i'm looking at you) and britian's imperialistic racism, i just love how it all makes sense

[isycamor]

i do kind of have mixed feelings about the armand reveal i will not lie. but at the same time, I think we forget that we still do not have all the information (lestat’s pov, and armand’s unfiltered pov of the trial, maybe even sam’s pov loool). also i don’t think this was particularly ooc nor do i think that it flattens armand’s character.

one,i think him doing this is completely in line with what we have seen from his character thus far. at this point (ep4/6 in paris) imo it is clear that he is feeling unloved/rejected on some level by louis [dreamstat haunting their relationship was the proverbial shoe waiting to drop; there was always a lingering feeling of inadequacy armand was feeling in his relationship with louis and considering his history (his trauma) we know how deeply this would affect him]. madeleine semi-confirms that there’s a sort of wall in the vulnerability of the loumand relationship when she asks louis why he doesn’t tell armand he loves him. armand is a character that desperately wants to be wanted, is desperately insecure, and on top of that, like assad said in an interview, very forward thinking. i think he really did not think his relationship with louis would survive — not with the burden of lestat, the burden of claudia/madeleine, and honestly i think it was coupled with a lot of self-hatred. the coven was a far more reliable decision for him. louis, throughout their relationship, was not a very consistent partner if we’re being honest (and i say this as a ldpdl apologist every tongue that rises against louis shall fall unless in defense of claudia). he refused to join the coven, he was constantly haunted by lestat in vital moments of loumand relationship development, he and armand were on verryyy different wavelengths about the labeling of their relationship, madeleine’s turning in itself i think also put a major strain in their relationship, etc. i don’t say this to excuse armand, but to contextualize his feeling of isolation within the relationship.

and thinking about his history, his trauma, i really do think that he would latch onto whatever seems to be the most consistent. he yearns for that commitment, and to feel wanted; and if he was not feeling that with louis, he would make the decision to stay with the coven. years upon years of abuse, and having that abuse be tied with a twisted sense of worship with marius, I believe has stunted armand significantly. armand is cunning, manipulative, whatever, but he really does not like being a leader. he leans into subservient positions constantly, and i think this is a pattern of learned helplessness that would explain why he perhaps may have felt as though he “could not prevent it” wrt the trial. i think him honestly believing he could not prevent it and also directing the whole thing are not really mutually exclusive here.

i don’t think this diminishes his love for louis at all either, he loved louis before during and after the trial, and the trial’s preparation. this was done in response to feeling unloved by him, not in response to not loving him. and i think, at least within the show’s presented narrative thus far, witnessing the actual trial along with lestat’s action versus his own inaction at its conclusion perhaps really put his guilt and regret into perspective which led to him saving louis from the wet room. and after finding a way to be with louis again (claiming to have saved him), and having louis speak to his commitment to him (even if it was done as a way to torture lestat), made armand solely focused on preserving his relationship with louis in any way possible - and unfortunately that meant also preserving this big lie. armand isn’t some supervillain that secretly wants louis dead - he did genuinely spend his life trying to make up for it. he is desperately desperately lonely and he has lived centuries feeling inadequate and unloved. this deep deep insecurity and attachment to preserve feeling loved/wanted drives his actions in paris, in san francisco, and in dubai.

so no! i don’t think it reverses any development of his character at all! honestly, apart from delainey’s claudia, armand was my shining star of season 2. assad played him brilliantly, and i don’t think this finale diminished the complexity assad (and the writers) gave to this character at all.

(i also think having this revealed and what this will do to armand’s psyche (as a character who i think is really really afraid to look inward) is such fun setup for season 3)

[humbledragon669]

S2E1 - The Arrival Write Up P5 - the Present Day from Crowley’s arrival at the coffee shop up to his entry to the book shop

Alright, buckle up, because despite the fact I said I wasn’t going to be so detailed, there is A LOT to cover in these next couple of scenes, and it is ALL about the subtext.

The first thing I picked up on is mere seconds after Crowley gets out of the Bentley, because despite the fact that Aziraphale told him to meet him in the coffee shop (literally 2 minutes previously, if we’re to believe the demon’s time estimates), his reflex is to go straight to the book shop as soon as he’s out of the car:

That is one hard-wired reflex, isn’t it? He’s several steps into his approach before he realises that’s not where he’s supposed to be going. Cute. Not so cute is the foreshadowing that we can see on the board outside the coffee shop:

It’s not easy to make out in this little screenshot, but it reads “Life begins after coffee”. Knowing how intricately designed this series is with the Easter eggs and references, I can’t help but believe this is alludes to what is planned to come in season 3 (after Aziraphale’s coffee). That’s the simple solution. The letters in this simple phrase can actually be rearranged into something else however:

L I F E  B E G I N S  A F T E R  C O F F E E

===============================

I F  C E E  F O R G E T S  I N E F F A B L E

Obviously I would interpret “CEE” as Crowley in this potential Clue, and the reference to “ineffable” being the Ineffable Plan. So expanding the phrase becomes “If Crowley forgets the Ineffable Plan”. But that would mean that the demon either currently knows or has previously known the details of the Ineffable Plan, which is in theory impossible (unless he was also God). And what’s the rest of the sentence? What happens if Crowley’s memory does empty of those details? I don’t have any answers to these questions, all I know is that the ability to rearrange those letters into something that makes incredible contextual sense cannot be coincidental.

This next scene in the coffee shop is one of my absolute favourites across this show - there’s just so much to it! Before we get into the weeds with the conversation that’s about to ensue, I just want to pick up on the background music being used here: it’s an instrumental version of Bohemian Rhapsody, possibly for a string quartet. In the write up for episode 5 of season 1, I hinted that there might be something to look at about music when it’s used as an “in-universe” element (rather than when it’s used as soundtrack for the audience), and this is a great example of that. We know that pretty much all music that plays in the Bentley (at least when Crowley is driving it) is by Queen, whether that was the original choice of the passengers in the car or not. That combined with Queen’s music being frequently used in the soundtrack to represent Crowley means that we, the audience, have come to associate anything that sounds remotely like Queen with the demon. Likewise, we have been given a lot of information to suggest that the same applies to classical music being associated with Aziraphale. What we have in the background of the coffee shop in this scene is an example of the merging of the two very different styles to produce a rather beautiful result, where both styles can be recognised and heard, whilst also projecting an air of individuality of its own. Here’s why I think this is interesting – this is exactly how we’ve come to think of the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale. Furthermore, the fact that the music is playing in-universe here would suggest, if my badly formed (and yet to be written up) ideas about Crowley are correct, that its presence is the demon’s (possibly subconscious) doing in the first place.

One last thing before I start looking at the conversation: How gorgeous is that camera one-shot as it passes “through” the coffee shop window? We see quite a few of those types of shots in this show, and they’re always seamless. The benefit they add to the flow of the storyline is undeniable.

OK, I lied. This really is the last thing before I get to the conversation. I am not ignoring the fact that the walls in the coffee shop could be littered with Easter eggs in amongst all the “graffiti” there. I have been collecting screenshots of the walls in the scenes when I can, and will put together a collage of them at some point. I’ve yet to find anything of particular interest, but I also feel like somebody has already done quite a bit of research into this, so I’ll see if I can find that post before I talk about it any further.

Alright, finally – our hero couple are united in the present day for the first time in this season! Here’s our first reminder of the familiarity that exists between them:

Aziraphale looks over his left shoulder to see if Crowley has appeared yet because that’s “Crowley’s side”. He actually seems to get quite the fright when he suddenly detects a presence on the opposite side of him.

I love the insight we get from Crowley reeling off the reasons that Aziraphale calls him: finding out that the angel instinctively calls the demon to satisfy his need for intellectual engagement (when he’s bored), for approval, or for help when he needs it highlights just how intricately woven into one another’s lives they are. I think it’s the middle of those points that strikes the biggest chord with me though; that the only person Aziraphale wants to share his successes with is Crowley speaks volumes, and it’s the only one of the three points he feels any need to defend (which in turn tells us how highly he thinks of Crowley). The familiarity that comes out of this speech just oozes, and I absolutely love how casually the demon delivers it.

Here we have the start of the next part of the case for my “Aziraphale and Crowley are already together” theory. Notice how the angel asks Crowley if this mega-espresso has calming properties:

AZIRAPHALE: Does it calm you down?

Not does it calm people down. Specifically “you”, which in this case is Crowley. Aziraphale knows that what he’s about to tell Crowley is not going to go down well, and wants to make sure the demon is as calm as possible, which he recruits Nina in to help with:

AZIRAPHALE: What do you sell that calms people down?

Again, the words here give the game away; he doesn’t ask what would calm “him” down, but what item would be particularly useful for calming other people down. Those Eccles cakes aren’t for him, they’re for Crowley. And why on earth Nina says that these calm people down, I have no idea – I’ve certainly never heard of them as having particularly restful qualities. You would have thought that maybe a chamomile tea would be a better solution.

If we combine all of this information with THAT look from Crowley and THOSE looks from Aziraphale (you know the ones, but I’m going to GIF them below anyway – I do love it so), I think the case for believing this pair to be secretly romantically involved already looks pretty strong.

There is a LOT going on in that tiny snippet of film so let’s break it down a bit. First we have this look of dread from Aziraphale when Nina drops him in the shit:

That is guilt, embarrassment, fear, desperation, and chagrin all wrapped up in one right there, and there’s really only one thing that tends to bring that complex mix of emotions to the fore in people – getting caught doing something you know very well you shouldn’t have been doing in the first place. And Crowley’s reaction tells us everything we need to know about how he feels about this new and shocking piece of information:

There is one phrase that comes to mind when I see Crowley’s expression here: “EXPLAIN YOURSELF”. That little head tilt at the end says that loud and clear. Most importantly for my case, there is no amusement on his face at all. He’s not entertained by this rather amusing turn of events, he’s fuming, as his expression makes very obvious.

And Aziraphale knows very well how much trouble he’s now in:

The wide eyes, increased breathing, inability to get his words out, and pathetic protestations – he is floundering here, badly. As well he should.

There are two more indicators here that there is something more going on between the two of them that is being overtly stated at this point in the storyline. Firstly, there’s that look he flicks over to Crowley to check in with him and see where the demon is in the emotional journey. Secondly there’s the appropriate look of somebody absolutely cowed by a sequence of events:

Bless his little cotton socks, he’s so ashamed. It’s such a childlike expression, exactly what you’d see if somebody had been reprimanded for something they knew they shouldn’t have done, didn’t have any good explanation for why they’d done it, and can only say how sorry they are in their own defence. Lastly (for this exchange anyway), we can see that Crowley is still awaiting his explanation at this point, even if we (very sadly) don’t get to see his expression:

Out of focus as Crowley’s face is, it’s still clear to see that his gaze is firmly fixed on Aziraphale. His attention is only diverted when Nina asks him a direct question. So, to sum all of this up: Aziraphale’s shame and desperation and Crowley’s indignant expression – that’s really all it took for me. This pair are a couple at the very least, more likely married. End of. Case closed. However, if you’re still on the fence, there’s one other thing that might push you over the edge. Listen, VERY CLOSELY, to the music in the background here:

Just after Nina says the phrase “naked man friend”, you can hear a very high-pitched note in the string arrangement, followed by a small pause. Almost like the music has crashed to a halt with the shock of the information that’s just been given (I’m sure you know what I mean – it’s a pretty common device to use in media). If that’s not a coincidence, that would further strengthen my ideas about Crowley influencing the music around him, and provide some more evidence for how he’s feeling at that particular time.

Right, let’s move on to the next piece of evidence for my case:

This is so lovely to me. How could he possibly sum up what he and Crowley are in one tiny sentence? Not only that, it’s clear he doesn’t know how to describe the situation between them without lying. He could have said they were friends (not entirely a lie, not entirely the truth), or even work colleagues (ditto). Instead, he says the only thing he can think of that is definitely true. And as a quick side note, both he and Crowley are so focussed on the mess that the angel has found himself in here, they miss the quick once over Nina gives the demon as she leaves the table.

There’s something really primal in me that makes me want to pull her hair and scream at her to stay away from him, like a crazed jealous teenager. I have no idea why; we all know Crowley has absolutely no interest in anybody or anything other than Aziraphale. Besides, he’s fair too concerned with reminding Aziraphale that he’s still in trouble.

Whoop, more evidence to add to my case! This is so beautifully done – Crowley changes the subject, thinking to lull the angel into a false sense of security, only to bring it immediately back to the issue that he clearly feels still needs to be resolved (and rightly so), and his expression clearly tells Aziraphale that this conversation is far from over, that he’s still not amused, and that he’s still waiting for an explanation:

Now that Aziraphale hasn’t got someone watching on, he’s become a little bit braver, actually managing to speak some of his defence, but I think it’s pretty obvious he knows there isn’t going to be anything he can say or do in the coffee shop that will resolve this situation. And if there was any doubt about that, Crowley’s gesture after downing his mega-espresso (which I find almost threatening) is clearly meant to be a reminder that he is still pissed about things.

Message received loud and clear:

In another casual display of intimate familiarity, and despite Crowley’s clear displeasure with the situation, he still holds the door open for his angel (ever the romantic). There is something going on in this shot here that I find interesting though:

What is that look going on between Nina and Crowley? This is an odd one, not least because of that once over we saw her giving him earlier on. And unfortunately we can’t see his face in this shot to be any degree of sure. To me it feels almost territorial, in a reverse sort of way – as if Crowley is making sure Nina bears witness to his romantic gesture, delivering a subtle but clear message about his interests. I’d buy into that totally if it didn’t run completely contrary to the need for them to hide their relationship. What I do like about this little interaction, and Aziraphale’s behaviour during it, is that we’re already being shown that this pair are still really bad at picking up on the other’s cues – whilst Crowley is busy pissing on a lamp post, Aziraphale’s face is giving away just how worried he is about what’s about to come:

Alright, final thing of note for this part, because this seems like quite a neat place to stop. Remember way back when I said that those Eccles cakes weren’t really for Aziraphale, but for Crowley? (Side note - way to go, stealing crockery from a local coffee shop Aziraphale, I hope you took it back at some point. Not that Nina seems to give much of a shit. Such odd behaviour.) Well we’re about to see the realisation of that.

Alright, I know, it could just be that Aziraphale hands the plate to him so that he has both hands to find the right key with (another side note – what are all the rest of those keys for?) but there’s a fleeting expression on Crowley’s face that suggests otherwise, as if he’s just now realising that the food is really for him:

He’s really not impressed with the quality of this peace offering, is he? Which is unsurprising, given that he’s not the one of them that has a burning desire to inhale anything that tastes good. At best, he might get to see Aziraphale eat it later I suppose. He’s gracious about his gift at least, because we don’t see him hand the plate back to the angel after the door is opened (in fact we’ll see it placed on the pedestal that the statue he uses to rest his glasses on later).

Right then, I have yet again wittered on quite long enough about this very small piece of film, so let’s wrap this up here. I’m hoping that now we’ve had the reunion of our hero couple in the present day, and the main establishment of the premise of the season, my write ups might get to be a little less picky (with some exceptions for notable scenes), but I guess we’ll find out. For now though, and as always, questions, comments, discussion – always welcome. See you next time 😊

[exhausted-archivist]

Common Fanons That Are Confused As Canon

Through my time of collecting lore and learning things about Thedas I've come across a couple things of fanon that leaked into lists of canon elements. Which was an interesting little thing to follow the rabbit hole of where they even originated. While making this list I did ask others for any that I might have missed or not seen because I wanted to be thorough as I could when even making this list. I haven't been in the fandom long enough to see all the things that have come up.

To be clear, I thought it was neat to see what became so pervasive in the fandom to become easily mistaken as canon or misunderstood. I'm also not discussing whether canon as it stands is "good" or judging the fanon or anything like that.

I just wanted to put it all together in a list, especially as I have had friends who were getting into the series and ask about certain things; as well as Dragon Age Summer hitting us soon and new interest in the series abound.

General

Mages can sense other mages The closest source I can find to this is the fact that Anders states that he can "feel the power in you". No other mage states anything similar and could likely be attributed to the fact that he is possessed. Much like how Cole can sense your magical connection as an Inquisitor. An outlier is how Keiran can sense your magic regardless of if he has the Old God soul; but he is also not confirmed to be a mage as of yet.

All Saarebas always have their lips sewn shut/horns cut off This seems to originate from da2 specifically, with the model of Ketojan having the scarring, the other saarebas missing horns, the concept art, and then boils down to BioWare being inconsistent with their lore/depictions. Most of Thedas fixates on the fact that the Qunari have saarebas with their lips sewn shut, the Seer's yarn tale denotes that tamassrans tell the story of a saarebas with their lips sewn shut, the tarot art for Saarath, and the flippant joke between Sera and Iron Bull. But, the lore specifies that it is in extreme cases or in general that it can occurs but it is not the standard. [WOT p. 103 & 128] Much like tranquility, it is used as a form of punishment - one that we know can and is abused by certain factions. We also see saarebas characters in Inquisition who do not carry either of those traits. Specifically Hissera (multiplayer), Saareth (Trespasser), Heroes of Dragon Age models, and some Qunari in da2.

All Saarebas have their tongues cut out This is seperate from the previous point due to the different source of this fanon. It seems to be an exaggeration of one particulare line from Sten. In dao, Sten will state during the Broken Circle quest that "This is why we cut the tongues from mages, in Par Vollen." He is very general with the statement, but contextually it is reasonable people took this to mean all mages. However, since dao it has been made clear that it is not a universal practice throughout the Qun.

Elves are shorter than humans This one does have a clear point of where this started, though it is never stated in lore, back in Origins elven models were universally shorter than humans. But from DA2 onward, male elves were only shorter than their human counterparts of the same sex while female elves are shorter than both human sexes. Fenris is taller than f!Hawke while both forms of Hawke are taller than Merrill. Solas, Abelas, and a m!Lavellan are taller than female human characters but all human characters are taller than female elves (except Sera who has a female human model).

Dalish are illiterate This is a little less clear to me where its origins started. Perhaps based off of medieval period history (which da isn't necessarily medieval in time period) or due to the fact that most common folk in certain regions in Thedas are illiterate and reliant on pictures over written words. But we know from the Witch Hunt dlc that the Dalish keep tomes of their history and of the ancient elven empire. They also actively translate ancient elven script for their own records. Whether this is role restrictive or not is unclear, but we do know that the Dalish are literate in both Common and semi-literate in ancient elven script.

Dalish and City Elves don't have contact This seemingly comes from a misunderstanding stemming in the city elf origins in dao where some npcs will comment on how Dalish might be myths. However, in dao, da2, dai, the comic Knight Errant, and the novel The Masked Empire, that elves from both sides do semi-regularly trade people with each other if not visit certain alienages, as well have other points of contact with each other. Pol, Zevran, Coran (Vaea's uncle), and potentially Feynriel are all city elves that join Dalish clans. Merrill and Arianni are known Dalish who join alienages.

City elves are genetic/physical differences from the Dalish elves This one I have seen around a lot, most stemming from the idea of the previous one that the elves in the city are generations apart from the Dalish, implying they have no contact with each other. Which could be true for certain alienages. But as far as lore is concerned there isn't any example of this, not even as being a point of reference for the Dalish to consider any of the aspects as to what makes them "less of an elf" in comparison to Dalish.

Elves pass on their elven traits Most seem to know this isn't canon, albeit one of the less popular canon elements; but new fans don't always know this. It is popular fanon to give half-elven children the reflective eyes, smaller stature, more angular features, straighter nose bridge, and/or pointed ears from their elven parent.

Only elves can have mixed kids with other races This seems to come from the fact that elven traits aren't passed on to their kids when mixed parentage is involved. However humans, dwarves, and vashoth can all have mixed kids from the other races. According to Patrick Weekes, this decision was made consciously to avoid very racist and harmful rhetoric. We know of many elf/human mixed kids: Alistair, Eiton, Feynriel, Gestan and Thale (residents of elven area of Halamshiral), Kieran (conditions), Michel de Chevin, Rinnala, "Sabina's Brat" (son of the elven prostitute Sabina at the Blooming Rose), Slim Couldry, Tainsley (Potentially. Is described as a 7'(2.13m) human, though he references a Dalish uncle.) While mixed dwarf children are rare simply due to dwarven fertility issues we do know of two dwarf/human kids: Keiran (conditional) and the child of Tyrdaa Bright-Axe(Avvar) and Hendir (dwarf).

Elfroot leaves get you high/is Thedosian marijuana This is another Origins era thing, due to an easter egg that made a play on the American "This is your brain on drugs" anti-drug campaign using elfroot. This was then repeated in 2015 when Patrick Weekes said that its medicinal properties were rediscovered in 4:20. [Source] Elfroot hasn't been shown to get anyone high in canon, it is the roots that are primarily used as medicinal. In World of Thedas (WoT) vol. 2 the recipe for Dalish Deep Forest Comfort says you can substitute elfroot for spinach making the leaves more vegetable in quality. That said, marijuana leaves are edible and rather nutritious. They just don't have the chemical make up to induce a high. Those lie strictly in the buds. According to Origins, elfroot does flower though.

Red lyrium is completely different and more dangerous from blue lyrium This one is all on BioWare in regards to this misconception. Because while yes, it is more dangerous than the blue lyrium, they aren't two seperate substances. More that red lyrium is a branch off. To cover the generals of the written lore of lyrium it breaks down like this: Blue lyrium in it's raw form innately toxic to just be around to all but dwarves, however it will kill a mage who gets too close in proximity. That proximity being within the same room while non-mages would have to touch the stuff. It also has a pension of self-combustion without warning or a clear cause. When it is refined down for templar use it is "safe" for non-mages to come in contact with and consume. Whether this level of refinement is the same level as what is used to make various cocktails and liqueur is unclear. But we do know that getting too close, being in same room as lyrium refined to this level, is enough to make a mage sick. Finally, we have the most refined and diluted stage of lyrium, this is used by mages to make potions, certain alchemical work, and other things. This isn't enough to kill a mage, make them sick (without extreme over use), and infact can result in positive outcomes for a mage. Red lyrium overlaps with most of that, with a couple key differences. First off is that red lyrium doesn't seem to self-combust. There is some contradiction on whether or not non-dwarves can mine it as due to game mechanics you can destroy it, but the only ones we see mining wild nodes are dwarves. But if the red lyrium is grown from a living creature it seems accessible to all races? In codices about the various types of red templars, we learn that a small vial around a templar's neck is enough to make all the mages in the area around him sick.

Character Specific

Alistair

Alistair is a dog person I couldn't track any clear origins for this, it seems to be a case of overlap with the stereotype that "all Fereldan's love dogs" and a mix of building off of a line of dialogue about him being raised by the hounds and them being his family. However, he doesn't seem overly one way or the other. He mocks dog at times, talks down in not such a playful way, and at times seems to treat dog with the same attitude he does Morrigan though not as blatantly. This could be chalked up to his joking nature though.

Alistair's obsession with cheese While he does admit to an obsession to cheese, it is often cited that Alistair makes a ton of cheese jokes in dao. When in truth he only makes four through out the entire game. Given his joking nature it is up to personal interpretation of how much he actually loves cheese.

Alistair and Cullen knew each other before Origins This is more specifically that the two went to the same monastery for their templar training. There is no canon evidence for this though. That said, there is a possibility due to not knowing much of anything about how the Templar Order trains its recruits nor the amount of monasteries they have in Ferelden for training.

Alistair collects toy soldiers This seems to come from the gifts he can be given during the Feastday dlc. Canonically he is given runestones and carved statuettes of various types stone. These statuettes are described in a manner closer to effigies than toy soldiers.

Alistair's mother is not Fiona This one is a bit funny as it has multiple origins and is dependent on the player's experience with the series. From what I have gathered there seems to be one of three sources: - People who never read the Dragon Age novel The Calling - People who read The Calling after playing dao and feels like it is a retcon (though The Calling was released prior to the release of dao, same with the novel The Stolen Throne) - People who take a "chuck the baby with the bathwater" approach to the lore The funny thing about this is that the cover story in dao for Alistair's mom is based off a combo of things; the hypothetical scenario Fiona told Maric and answers she gave Maric when he asked what to tell Alistair if he asked about his mother. The hypothetical was that Fiona would not return to the Circle and would hide from the templars and pretend to be a washer woman. When Maric asked what to tell Alistair of his mother, Fiona said to tell him his mother was human as she did not want him to deal with being half elven and all the stigma that comes with that as well as to tell Alistair that she was dead.

Avaline

Aveline is straight She will kiss Hawke regardless of gender and ask them if they ever considered her and them. Though it is clear she never had romantic interest in Hawke in particular. An easily missed aspect I think given the general opinion of Aveline as well as most people seeming to not choose the flirtatious option with her.

Blackwall

Blackwall doesn't have a sense of humor This one genuinely surprised me considering he jokes with Sera, The Iron Bull, and Solas. His banter shows as much that he does have a sense of humor and tells jokes. But it does seem pretty common of a fanon characterization for him.

Dorian

Dorian paints his nails His model doesn't have painted nails in game, but it is a popular fanon. There is nail polish in Thedas though. It's mentioned in the novel Masked Empire as well as the novel Last Flight. It seems to be of Anderfles origins, but given the Last Flight is post Orlesian occupation, it could originate in Orlais.

Lady Mantillon said, tapping an elegantly lacquered fingernail on the polished wooden arm of her chair, “we will fail, or we will be killed. Neither is acceptable.” - Masked Empire, Chapter 17 p. 362 Every one of her fingers glimmered with a jeweled ring, and her nails had been freshly lacquered. - Last Flight, Chapter 13 p. 144

Fenris

Lyrium can be drawn from Fenris' tattoos There is no mention of this being possible in da2 or any of the subsequent media. There isn't even mention of others being able to sense the lyrium in his tattoos or even mages getting sick around him as they sometimes will dependent on the concentrations and/or purity of lyrium.

Fiona

How Fiona was cured of the taint This comes from The Calling novel, where it isn't ever clarified what actually removed the taint from Fiona. The common fanon is that it was either the mentioned brooch, or that by having Alistair. That it was by having Maric's son who has Great Dragon blood due to being of the Theirin bloodline that cured her. However, in the novel she is very clear that the mages at Weisshaupt aren't sure what cured her. She only offers one explanation that the Grey Wardens theorized and trails off before saying what the second one was.

“It’s gone,” she said flatly. “The mages at Weisshaupt weren’t sure if it was because the First Enchanter’s brooch sped things up artificially, or... at any rate, all the corruption vanished. They don’t think it’s going to come back, either. There was test after test, but they think I may be the first Grey Warden that never has to endure the Calling again.”

Hawke

Hawke is stabbed by the Arishok This fanon likely came into being due to one of the moves the Arishok has where it will leave you almost dead. So a bit of canon as it is in his move set, but fanon in the idea it is something that always happens in canon.

Unable to confirm if Fanon, Canon, or a mix of both

Teagan marries Bella, the barmaid from Redcliffe This one goes back really far and is hard to tell if it is a case of mistaken identity and association, or a really buggy option for the epilogue, or isn't actually a possibility. What I can confirm is that Teagan does have a woman he can marry given certain conditions are met in dao, but it is actually Kaitlyn, the sister who's brother goes missing in Redcliffe. If you properly compensate her for her grandfather's sword she'll open up a foundry in Denerim and will marry Teagan after having known him for a few months. According to this thread, you have to get Kaitlyn to move to Denerim with her brother, make Bella the maid to Teagan and in the ending slide Teagan and Bella will get married. Though I haven't been able to confirm that this is possible. (If you have a screenshot/video of this slide and know how to trigger this please let me know) This is also not an option mentioned in the Keep, however neither is Kaitlyn's. Which isn't surprising given some of the ending slides that were not direct player choice (ex) choosing Orzammar's king) are mostly cut from canon.

[tumblingxelian]

I went and did a lil reviewing and its very interesting to look at Lila's situation regarding Catalyst and there's some fun observations to make in a vacuum.

1: This girls room has tons of masks.

I know that isn't a major thing but given what we know of her its like, "So you just wanna shout that you have a complicated relationship with identity is that it?!"

2: Her mom does work at the embassy

On the surface she seems nice enough if maybe very busy given she says she'll "Try" and be back before dinner. One can take Lila growling once she's gone as directed at Ladybug or her mother, or both.

But the dynamic also feels 'weird' & Lila's clearly used to instantly masking whatever she's actually feeling around her.

Assuming a "No child is born super evil" read, I'd say that either she is like Andre in that she can performatively show affection. But is not actually there for their child when they need it. In this case likely having failed Lila at some major interval that left a deep divide.

Or that she's one of those parents who can seem very nice and reasonable but if angered or offended or disgusted react very, very badly. I'd actually say this one feels the most likely given it would contextualize Lila's deceptive habits very neatly.

3: How much did she know?

The question of if Lila was "In on it" or a willing participant in the scheme is interesting. Cos its obvious she didn't know Gabriel's identity. But more to the point, thats he clearly wasn't even expecting Hawk Moth to come for her given she was surprised.

Like there is no one to be performing for here, that is genuine shock.

However, we all see her smirking after Hawk Moth has the Akuma leave her. But its worth noting she wasn't purified, the Butterfly just left. So while its obviously a headcanon I do feel the shift from shock and panic to stoic confidence is weird enough to thin it could mean more than just Lila is the devil.

Also is it just me or do her eyes seem more lifeless?

We do have Gabriel's dialogue to go off:

Hawk Moth: Fly away, my little akuma and evilize the one who's been waiting your return for so long.

But we've also seen him call Chloe his favorite "Victim" and its not exactly uncommon for people taking advantage of others to frame their victim as a willing participant.

With that in mind!

4: Oh they were 100% grooming Lila, yikes

So, we know from season 3 that Gabriel & Nathalie were fine undermining Chloe's mental health to the point of sabotage, gaslighting and hostage taking.

Thus it is perhaps no surprise they were doing the same with Lila.

Don't believe me? They have literal cameras on a fourteen year old and have clearly been keeping her under observation in their own words, for months!

Nathalie: (Hands Gabriel her tablet) Lila has been harboring her rage against Ladybug for months, and today wherever she looks, she'll see the object of her hatred, and as predicted, her anger will reach devastating heights. Your plan is perfect, sir.

But more pointedly is what is not said, or more, what is talked around, see this exchange:

Lila: (scrolls through laptop) Liar! Traitor! Coward! (comes across an interview with Gabriel Agreste and Nadja Chamack) Gabriel: (on the laptop) In honor of the wonderful Ladybug who has saved my son Adrien and myself, and who relentlessly protects all of us everyday, I have financed this tribute to Ladybug. Because Ladybug is the only true hero unlike her mediocre imitations, such as Volpina. Lila: (screams with rage and throws her laptop against a wall) I hate you, Ladybug!

Cue laptop against wall and then crying on the floor, again there is no one to perform for here, this has to be a genuine reaction.

What stands out to me is Lila's choice of words: Liar! Traitor! Coward!

If she was just angry he praised Ladybug & insulted Volpina these words don't make any sense. But they make a ton of sense if Gabriel or someone representing her contacted Lila about her time as Volpina.

(It does not seem Paris is aware she was an Akuma)

Likely telling her about Heroes' Day or otherwise framing themselves as very interested and impressed with Volpina saving Paris from that meteor. Only so they could have Gabriel twist the knife in on an interview.

Conclusion:

That's just an assumption but if not, why not call Gabriel a jerk and a fool or something, traitor and coward have very specific connotations that don't make sense unless she'd been led to believe Gabriel thought highly of Volpina,

Hell, how would they even know she'd find the interview unless she knew to look for it?

Yes yes, story contrivances, but if we want to base out logic in universe, Nathalie & Gabriel preyed again on an isolated and to one degree or another neglected as well as troubled child. Fed into her many issues, likely helping foster her isolation & resentments, just to betray and humiliate her for the purpose of using her as a weapon.

That is deeply fucked up, especially when you consider that they were spying on her and she has no idea any of this is happening!

All in all, I think its quite reasonable to read Lila as a fourteen year old taken advantage of and steadily warped by adults' who were using her for their own gain as opposed to someone just born evil.

[max1461]

Honestly as much as I'm like "I appreciate media that is unabashedly horny", which is true, anime fan service is often a bit too much for me just on the level of like, my own taste. Uh it just comes across as crass and tacky a lot, it makes the work more difficult for me to enjoy.

I also think the argument that it's like, often problematic objectification is not wrong. Maybe that's obvious. But like, well, there's something subtle (or sometimes, not so subtle) which makes the difference for me between "media that feels horny in a 'fair' way" and "media which feels horny in 'gross' or 'gawking' way". Those are both poor terms but like, sexualized in a way that feels...

Well there's no easy line for me to draw here. There's nothing specifically that you can't do in work, IMO, there's basically no line that I'm like "categorically you can't cross that". But I do think you should be at least somewhat aware of the ideas your work is conveying about sexuality and society and so on.

Uh maybe what I mean is just "have tact". Like I don't mean "never try to titillate the audience", and I don't mean "all your titillation must sufficiently be subversive of social norms to be allowed", or whatever. Lots of people who say the thing I said in the last paragraph mean one of those things. But I don't. I just mean don't be a dumbass, maybe? I mean something. I mean be aware that like, while I don't a priori object to a work in which every female character's boobs flap around simply because the creator finds it hot, there are certain works where you really should not do that. You see? Things have to be... contextually appropriate, and I mean both the work's internal context but also its context in society as a whole. Right, because of social conditions, and you know, the way that women are treated, and shit, well you're all smart you all know, there's certain contexts in which it is not appropriate to have all the female characters have their boobs flop around. And many more contexts where it's sort of fine it just makes the work a bit worse.

Idk.

Cause like. There's some anime, actually a lot of it, that's just ridiculously straight-guy-horny and I'm just like "you know what, this is fine actually, this is great. I have zero problem with this." And then there's a lot that has all the same shit in it and I'm like "oof, that feels really inappropriate. That feels like a shitty portrayal, an insensitive thing to include, that's bad."

And the different is not the nature of the panty shots themselves it's everything around the panty shots, right. Does that make sense?

I feel like the is kind of the sensible synthesis of recent (and IMO correct) trends around like, idk, pro-horniness? Like sex positivity already means a specific thing but like, pro-horniness, you know, pro-desire (many people on this website are talking about such thing, and again I think correctly), with the IMO also true and important fact that like, objectification of women and so on is a real thing in media and it is actually problematic (I mean "problematic" in the naive sense, not as SJ jargon). Like maybe it's not problematic in the exact set of ways 2014 pop-feminism or anti-porn radfems or whatever say it is, but it's like. There are contexts in which I think you really probably should not be zooming in on the boobs and so on. Like, you feel me?

[thealexchen]

hi! i recently got back into lis2 again and that made me really curious - do you still agree with a majority of the critiques you made on lis2 in 2020? i know it's been 4 years since that post was made, but i actually do remember when you dropped this critique on a separate account and i'd thought it was an interesting one to keep in mind back then :)

i appreciated a lot of what you have to say, even if i respectfully disagree with almost all of it 😭 - i didn't want to drop a whole "why" i disagree discussion on here because it seems kind of rude to drop such a huge thing about it haha, but i would like to say that this critique actually did stick with me for a bit and i appreciate that you made it when you did! your account was a big lis2 acc that i remember back in the day, and i always loved seeing your posts!

Hi there and thanks for your ask! I think I may know who you are, but you did get me thinking about that critique again (has it been four years already?? Jesus). After rereading it again, I have to say my overall opinions haven’t changed… I’m just not as invested in them as I used to be.

Since DE came out, I’ve seen a drastic shift from favoring D9 to DN, but I really think the reception comes down to their creative choices (or lack thereof). When I gave my initial thoughts on DE in May, I said that D9’s games rely heavily on fanservice to be marketable, while LiS2 was divisive from the jump because it was so obviously rooted in DN’s prioritization of making a game out of passion and not what would sell well (a continuation of Max and Chloe’s story). People have mostly been complaining that DE feels written without much thought or care for the original game, with lazy offscreen narrative decisions. Unfortunately, I believe this output is really due to D9 being puppeteered by Square to “corporatize” this series to death, which I find really depressing.

When LiS1 first debuted in 2015, the gaming industry was still recovering from Gamergate (which proved how misogynistic it still was) and LGBT+ issues were finally achieving mainstream attention, both positive and negative. The media storm surrounding LiS1 all focused on how different it was. It was truly radical at the time to turn what would be a typical Sundance indie film plot into an interactive AA game and make it mainstream. I think both the positive attention from gamers starved for a story like this and the negative attention calling it “Life is Tumblr” contributed to its massive popularity and attention that hasn’t been matched since.

I have always, always believed (like since 2018) in LiS being an anthology series and letting Max and Chloe’s story end. “Farewell” was supposed to be that, and I was really excited to see what DN was making next and hopeful I could fall in love with LiS2 like I did the first game. Even if I found LiS2’s narrative choices really frustrating, I still respect DN for sticking to their vision. Honestly, Michel Koch deserves his flowers so much for staying active on Twitter through years of fan hate and complaining and posting consistently respectful replies, even as his own characters have likely become unrecognizable to him.

But while DN stuck to their vision about LiS2, I think the main contextual issue with the game (and where my critiques came from) is there was too much pressure to follow up an accidental hit. DN wanted to follow up LiS1 with an even bigger, more serious, more ambitious, maybe more “artistic” and “daring” game that was boldly political… but I just don’t think they achieved that. The game still looks beautiful, with a strong soundtrack, art direction, moments of calm, and great environmental storytelling like the first game. But while LiS1 lured you into a false sense of security with its cozy vibes and high school setting, only to blindside gamers with heartbreaking and shocking plot twists late in the game, LiS2 is just a misery fest from start to end in an attempt to be as serious and memorable as the first game. There isn’t enough joy and nostalgia (DN is SO good at nostalgia) to contrast the sorrow, and the game wasn’t as memorable or fun to play for me.

My main critique in 2020 was the game relies too much on a violent trauma narrative without proper research and content warnings. Looking back on it now, I think DN internalized the praise too strongly that LiS1 was daring and different. They tried to be even more topical and bold without regard to how actual players of color might react to the racial violence onscreen. In addition, I critiqued LiS2 for not showcasing the positive aspects of Sean and Daniel’s Mexican heritage to contrast all the racism, and I thought True Colors did a better job at including meaningful and positive cultural details for Alex and Gabe’s family. They likely didn’t think to research more carefully how to depict POC (and how the standards for sensitive representation might be different in the U.S. compared to France). American politics are also wayyyy more complex than what’s on the news, and have a massive historical, social, and economic background, and nowadays, I’ll cut DN some slack and say I think that’s too much to tackle for any game. Yes, DN could’ve done better, but I wouldn’t critique them as harshly today, and I know they had good intentions.

If the pressure to follow up LiS1 wasn’t there, maybe LiS2 could’ve been different. Maybe DN wouldn’t have bit off more they could chew, or maybe this game could’ve been made independently of the LiS series and judged on its own merit. A game like Tell Me Why shows how DN is at their best when they tell smaller, nostalgic stories and are able to do the right research and collaborate with the right consultants and actors. I hope Lost Records can be the same, since DN is pitching it from the jump as an anthology and likely their do-over of LiS as their own independent studio.

Thank you again for asking! It was nice to revisit my critique. If you’d still like to talk about it, I am down for a friendly debate!

[thecurioustale]

Writing Psychological Horror Is Hard

Writing horror is hard for me.

I think it is perhaps the clearest example, at least when I'm the subject, of the difference between being the author and being the audience. I find it extremely difficult to know what will creep out someone who doesn't know all the behind-the-scenes details of what is happening. This is despite my considerable experience as a consumer of [psychological / environmental] horror media.

When I think about the things that scare me, or maybe "unsettle" is a better word, it usually comes down to two things: 1) narratively plausible violations of the laws of nature; and 2) foreboding, i.e. the slow-building setup that something bad is coming—something that is specific enough to be apprehensible but still ambiguous enough to be cloaked in mystery.

But! Not just any attempt at these things will actually work. There is definitely a secret sauce that makes some efforts fail and others succeed.

In the game Oxenfree, probably my favorite horror game of all time, there is a scene on the "Find Clarissa!" subplot where Alex et al. are in something akin to a classroom in an abandoned military base on an uninhabited island, and a discordantly upbeat and normal-sounding midcentury-style gameshow host is talking to them through a haunted radio asking them questions in a game of Hangman (whose figure is gradually being drawn by invisible means on the chalkboard), while a lamp overhead illuminates the room in a very unnatural light as it swings back and forth for no apparent reason. And this was one of my favorite moments in the entire game, because it was really scary. It benefitted from the existing atmospheric horror build up in the events immediately preceding it, and also benefitted from not being a narrative climax; it actually ratchets up the tension in the story even higher, without resolving anything (other than itself).

But I think that if you went purely by my description, you would be hard-pressed to create a scary implementation of this scene. I certainly would be—and I know that for a fact, because I have more or less tried it!

What is it that makes something profoundly unsettling in that oh-so-delicious manner of a good horror story? Well, the academic answer is that it's appealing to our instincts of danger: dangerous environments (like rocks or cliffs or plants, or, indeed, "the dark"), dangerous predators, dangerous people, dangerous forces (like fire and wind and water), and dangerous sicknesses (e.g. infectious disease). Most horror taps into at least one of these primal apprehensions in the human psyche. And to succeed it has to feel real, the way a roller coaster feels like you're really falling. But I don't think "the academic answer" really sheds all that much light on the mystery of actually composing horrifying situations and events.

A lot of the craftsmateship is a balancing act.

For example: You don't want to hit the audience over the head with obvious bogeymates—jumpscares for the sake of jumpscares, as it were, or having your big scary cryptid jump out in its full costume in broad daylight and look absurd—but I have also found, through experience, that it is very easy to hide horrifying details too well, to be too subtle about it—and it is extremely difficult for me to get a sense, on the audience's behalf, of how subtle is too subtle.

That leads me to an important insight: Part of the secret sauce of horror is contextually embedding horrifying story elements into a broader context. A "haunted stick of furniture" isn't going to get many people a-quailin' in their boots. It has to be more about how that object is embedded in the story. You know, like a haunted couch, or a haunted table: How do you make that scary? I don't think it can be scary on its own. Not consistently and convincingly. Instead you have to set it up ahead of time in some way(s), by providing information to the audience that you are then going to subvert or manipulate later. Yet it is all too easy to do this in a way that comes across like a paint-by-numbers exercise: "Wait a minute! Wasn't this couch pointing the other way earlier?! GASP!!" No one is gonna be scared by that. It's not enough.

Ultimately, I think scaring people successfully, in the psychological horror sense, therefore involves an element of overwhelming their ability to cope with and anticipate environmental changes, which assumes an elaborate environmental structure that you're going to have to set up, in non-obvious ways, earlier in the story. You have to give them expectations about how things will change and then either gradually go beyond that magnitude of change or else go in a different direction of change entirely—usually the former. Psychological horror is all about the fear of the jumpscare that never comes.

But I'm also just spitballing for the purposes of this essay. I don't really know. I struggle with this stuff!

It really is an art form to be able to scare people in this way.

Additional, medium-specific difficulty comes in the fact that the written media that I work in does not have access to a scary soundtrack or sound effects or voices, or to scary visuals and visual effects. Written text does have the corresponding advantage of having unfettered access to the reader's imagination, allowing them to essentially self-select the personally scariest interpretations of some of the details of a scene. But taking full advantage of this power is not easy at all; you have to put the right kinds of details in, and you have to do so in a digestible format, all without cluttering the flow of the story.

I have been doing a lot of Galaxy Federal writing lately, and have been trying to write some of the "scarier" bits and pieces in it, and I almost resent how totally clueless I am in regards to whether I am hitting the mark to my satisfaction! 😮