#i know i havent really posted here yet
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03.09.2024
3/9
#3/9#miku day#hatsune miku#this is nashimoto ui - miku#the girl that it’s talking to in the first thing on the side is from mind brand/maegamist#the person they’re talking to in the second one is osage chan#the person that he’s talking to in the third one is from hentousen ga itai yo#vocaloid#nashimoto ui#maretu#inabakumori#colloid#i know i havent really posted here yet#but 39 is in my url#i have to ok
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more monochrome practice I suppose
#tumblr getting this version of this drawing bc i dont want to get in trouble for drawing them nakey#so its date night vibes instead of like eden vibes#i have such complicated feelings about this ship in part bc we havent really met lilith so dont know what shes about yet#but i know in my heart there was a time they loved each other so much and so this is that#honestly would love so much to get backstory on the eden crew and the happenings there even just like a flashback in an episode or somethin#but lowkey im on the 'hoping they get divorced but deeply care about one another and are a part of each others lives' train#bc thats kind of more interesting to me than them getting back together bc i think the crux of it is how much theyve changed and a part of#their relationship getting to the point where lilith disappeared maybe being them both trying to desperately to salvage it and in doing so#making it worse bc they felt like they ruined their lives to be together and so what was the point of it all if they weren't anymore?? but#like theyre immortal so of course theyre going to change and of course theres a chance that the relationship doesnt work even if they deepl#love one another and always will and i just like the closure of that and admitting they arent right for each other in that way anymore but#they still love and care about each other and will never lose that#this is rambling and doesnt make as much sense as when i was typing it on a different post i am wondering now if theres a limit on how many#tags i can put here bc im just yapping at this point whoops#anyway i need to buck up and actually finish/post that draft i have about my very long and complicated hazbin ship opinions#lucilith#hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#lilith hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lilith#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lilith
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everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone
#snap chats#someone pointed this out to me like last year so im stealing it sorry cause I Think Of It Constantly#the handling of masato's disability will forever annoy me esp with how vague it is but esp his chair#one day ill draw masato with an appropriate wheelchair. maybe then he'll be happy for once#in a way i guess it could tie into how restricted or trapped he felt since the type of chair he's shown is more like. a hospital one#and not one youd really use as a regular user- like in that vein it is a bit of storytelling in that he can ONLY go out with help#since hospital chairs are SO much different from home chairs ESPECIALLY in regards to mobility and independence the user has#AND NOT TO MENTION HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THOSE CHAIRS ARE get his ass a proper cushion P L E A S E#like it portrays the idea that its unfathomable for him to go anywhere on his own and so in that vein . Interesting Storytelling#theres a lot of implications going on here if im so honest and again it makes for Really Interesting Story Telling#however i refuse to give rgg credit like that when it comes to disabilities. ... they havent earned that from me yet#see this is why the vagueness of his condition annoys me because he's shown to be independent enough to roll himself to his elevator#and presumably get himself dressed but he cant have a proper chair ?#because ik there are people who have expressed they have conditions where even writing is tiring#so if his condition was in-line with that and it was hard for him to push himself in his chair then i could buy it#obviously the issue lies with his lungs but i just want to know the full extent yk...#to wrap this up tho ive been thinking of character design in rgg and how we dont give credit to it enough#sooooo if i make a second post ten minutes from now thats why cause i keep forgetting to spam my thoughts on here LMAO#ok bye
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something I do surprisingly often is I get obsessed with a show/movie that I haven't watched or that I dont have even the slightest knowledge about and instead of watching it and getting the context I watch edits, scroll through their hashtags and read fanfics with no real idea what's going on but at the same time not attempting to clear any of it up by watching anything.
#and then i have the outrageous amount of audacity to read a post about it and go “omg thats so canon”#LIKE ID KNOW IF IT WAS CANON#I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA IF ITS CANON OR NOR#im just trusting the people who have watched it to be writing canon posts#which is usually not the case#this is about the xmen btw#ive not consumed any xmen content ever in my life yet here i am because of my recent wolverine obsession which no one was expecting#by “no one” i mean me#i havent really told anyone else#(pretending I've not sent my friend like 100 thirst edits of wolverine in the past few days)#its deadpool & wolverine thats got me#(ive also not watched any deadpool movies? how did i get here?)#anyway#x men#logan howlett#wade wilson#wolverine#scott summers#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#jean grey#x men movies
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ooooookay so i havent seen anyone on tumblr talk about this directly yet so i figured i'd make a post linking to ppl talking about it. im not personally involved, but since this is an artist i recognize & see around, i figure ppl have the right to know
so uh. long story short. @/valdrickvile on here is kinda uhhhhhh not someone you'd wanna interact with, maybe.
^ this thread goes into it
& in case anything happens to the tweets, here's the big document that goes into it. ive read thru a good amount of it and uh........... yeah.
im not sharing this as a call to harass the people involved (Please Dont) but just. people have a right to know. so pls just block and move on.
#speculation nation#adding the disclaimer there. i am NOT doing this as some toxic callout post or anything.#there's just some... really bad shit in there lol & it makes me personally very uncomfortable with interacting with his stuff anymore#so. people deserve to know.#i contemplated posting this in main tag but decided against it. bc i really dont wanna poke the hornet's nest lol#but for my followers. Here You Go.#twitter goers have probably seen this already but i havent seen this on tumblr yet (aside from a vague mention of it that alerted me to it)#had to dig. ended up getting this post from someone in my server sldkjfsldkfj#SO. sharing so u guys dont have to dig for it.#i spent too long reading thru all these screenshots and just. eugh.
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Went to a bookstore today and had to be restrained
#i <3 books...#but i dont have much money...and i am bad at finishing them sometimes sksjdjdj#case in point i read like 3 books straight thru last month and now i picked up one that ive been meaninf to read for yeats#*years#but i dont think i really like it...but i dont want to give up on it yet...so i am in limbo (reading only fanfic on ao3)#anyways i bought mary shelleys the last man and a book on animal rights for 7 dollars total hehe#i put back the expensive ones SKJSSKS#romy can talk#anyways i havent been on here much bc honestly i feel kinda weird being on here#for no reason really#i am debating making a sideblog or smth for tma just bc i would like to make more posts for it but i feel this isnt the audience for it...#i dont know
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It feels a smidge weird posting non-tickle related art here but-.. I really like Mimi's design and felt like putting my moody feelings into her so~ hope no one minds the occasional vent art 😅
-Sad feels aside, I do like the color scheme I came up with 👉👈 🩵✨ and sometimes instead of coloring I like to just add some shades~
#mushygushyart#vent art#mushymess#furry#anthro#goat#bunny#rabbit#oc#art#plus size#body posititivity#sad#i also don't know if i should add mdni tag on art like this?#I dont want minors to really interact with my posts given the nature of my blog but... where this has no tword content.. idk?#im fine adding it ! just wasnt sure. havent been in this situation yet lmao i didnt expect to post non tword art here lol#ill add it just in case i guess jdkj#shitpostdevil#(banner credit)
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JUST REMEMBERED THE TUMBLR NIGHTMARE I HAD WAS A NIGHTMARE AND SIMPLY. DID NOT HAPPEN. THANK FUCK. This was like. A week or more ago I judt kind of assumed it was real this whole time
#do u guys ever get tumblr stress dreams and/or nightmares. cause i do. i think this symbolizes social media being bad 4 me#but i will never quit tumblr sorry. i love her#i had a dream i made a discourse sideblog (😭) and misrepresented my thoughts on smn and my muts fucking hated me#this is unrealistic because i would never make a discourse sideblog. but i got so so scared. tbh this is connected to . well. disorders#but i havent posted abt certain ones of mine on here and i wont start now. yet. idk. well see where the wind takes me but its complicated#i feel like this is worded really poorly. which was the conflict in the dream. im really tired guys know that im very niceys and scared#.ares
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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anyways since im writing for slahsers and dbd now i'll probably make more bots for them too. i've already got uhhh... i think 5... slasher bots nd one singular dbd bot. two, if you want to count the amanda one.
#archived mind of v: thoughts and opinions.#gonna b so real rn i just wanna make a corey cunningham bot#but i also need to finish the like 13 saw bot reqs that i have b4 i think of making anything else#i havent even made a dbd post here yet can i Really say that i write for it yet#that'll be my next post i think. it's in my drafts i've just not worked on it at all#not used to talking abt slashers and dbd here yet bc it's been so creepypasta central but#just know i am forever consumed w thoughts about this shit#and am so happy to talk abt it
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have been rotating rex at extremely fast speeds since my birthday, btw. For No Reason At All
#digi discusses#looking at my phone background for the rest of the month to get me through work like 'oh ariana we're really in it now'#unrelated but also very related: its wild that i havent posted about anchorage on here yet. teehee ;)#maybe someday you will all know
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Watching kuuga has been such a trip
Knowing what I know about kamen rider as a series by now, common overall themes and how some aspects of future series took inspiration from kuuga, I can parse together an vague idea of whats likely going to happen to godai and
Oh boy. I'm not ready if this is the case
#one thing ive seen is of people compare similarities between Godai and Eiji a lot#and I can already see parts of Eiji that took inspiration from Godai here so early on#i love Godai so much... i know im in for a fuck of a time#im only 9 episodes in so i know i havent seen nothing yet#kuuga is amazing there really is nothing quite like it#linky watches kuuga#linky posts
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hatee how certain neurodivergent people will talk about apathy like it's a neurotypical thing and the societal ideal. like it's not 1. demonized 2. awful to experience
#especially when people act like ppl who are apathetic think they're so cool for it#like i dont think my life is worth living most of the time because of it but okay. sure#joyousposting#negative //#this is kind of an aside but im reminded of how unhelpful it is whenever i see people combat capitalist ideas of#your worth being defined by your ability to contribute to society and produce things#with saying you have worth because you exist to experience and be passionate!! because i barely do that. whats left#anyway. what im saying all sounds so doomerist and suicidal im not. well#i think if i found out that this'd be the way i'd have to live forever (uncapable of truly feeling or experiencing anything)#i would kill myself. however there's no way of knowing that. so nothing left then but to believe one day#life wont be like this and ill actually be able to do and feel and experience things and actually live#absolutely no god damn clue how we're gonna get from here to there though#bc there's no way for it to happen without a miracle or me trying really hard to do things really difficult for me. and maintain that. and#have people actually meeting me halfway on it. so there's no way for it to happen without a miracle.#and yet we trudge on because im hopeful and optimistic to a fault#this thang was not meant to be that long or serious of a post but whatever. i cant and havent sleep
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crying at my twitter pfps dawg tf is goin on in my head
#iw spoilers#snap chats#can we tell i like shadow. can we tell im really excited for the movie.#LIKE PLEASE JSVLKJALVKJ I ONLY JUST REALIZED HOW GOOFY THIS IS FOR MY TWITTERS#first is priv second is art/main third is personal/rt stuff. cause my friend kept wantin to tag me in posts but didnt wanna tag my main vjL#masato being my priv is fitting i think <- lit just qrting stuff and sayin shit like 'i didnt know james marsden played cyclops in xmen'#i THINK i used to post emo rants there but. most of those rants i post here too VJALEKJKLAE SO NOT MISSIN ANYTHING TEAM#i should change my priv pfp ... idk havent entered a new era yet. masato can stay#i still like that still of him .. aw wait is that an IW spoiler#ill tag it sure why not#ok bye im gonna go stare at my shadow the hedgehog collection while holding my hands behind my back#the most honorary of stances
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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Thinking about using the journal I got for writing my dad's eulogy for trying to process my grief with it. The letter from me I found in his lockbox is still in that front sleeve, along with one of the memorial folders they had at the funeral.
I think I don't want to write it all on here. I think I've talked about my emotions too much as of late.
#speculation nation#negative/#kind of. i guess.#the thing about grief is that it really just never ends.#so im done with the funeral. the time is over. here i am. hes dead. im alive. time to move on.#but it's not that simple. of course it's not.#but would my followers who followed me just for my writing even Care?#honestly surprised i havent lost more followers. or any? idk i havent been paying much attention to numbers#but i know it hasnt really gone down much if at all#i just feel. like im not the person that people initially followed.#and i dont know when im going to be that person again.#there's no enthusing here. anytime im making text posts it's about The Situation.#i wonder how evident my grief is to you all. i feel it in my every breath.#i havent been working yet i feel weak. it's hard to feel much at all.#either im existing and im helping with packing or im crying again bc i remembered my dad cant help me pick out a car now#(in the Vaguely In The Future me buying a used car idea. for after i get my license. whenever that is.)#or im crying bc of jackets or colognes or a letter in a lockbox or a stupid minions hat picture in a too-big frame#or laughing bc Dad In A Bag (his ashes are downstairs. im far too unbothered by their presence)#ive been having an... okay time. we watched Dune today and i started building a lego set. it was nice.#but im only ever Okay. emotions hard to access. interests certainly not accessible.#making it hard to be creative at all. im literally only going through the motions here.#theres no heart. i left it behind when i got that 2 am call and had to rush to the hospital to watch my dad die.#i left it behind when i touched his cold arm for the last time. when i walked out of that room & knew id never see him again.#i know a week is still far too soon to be over it. but im sick of feeling this way.#it still doesnt feel real. feels like im following the bad end route just to see. i should still be able to reload my past save.#but this is my life now. forever until the end. out of nowhere hes dead and hes never coming back#and it's just really fucking hard to care about just about Anything else right now.#i prommy im gonna use the journal next time i get the urge to vent about this. im sick of this crap too.
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