#i know i am far from the oldest blog on here but STILL. thats a lot TO ME. WOOF.

[piplupod]

[system-of-a-feather]

(PUBLISHING OLD DRAFTS THAT ARE GOOD / INTERESTING; This was written in October 2023)

(TRIGGER WARNING: Discusses topics of trauma, psychological abuse, grooming and possibly some level of programming <- not sure if it counts but putting it in the TW just in case)

I don't know what the system's standards for this topic on this blog is so I will just directly say this is shit regarding our oldest sister who our therapist has acknowledged sounds uncomfortably like a "handler" which I agree with

But when talking to Riku and other parts about her behavior and her relationship with us, a lot of them get stuck in the fact that her actions and ways of "raising us" set the foundation for a lot of our strengths and things that made it possible to survive what we did

And thats very fair, that is very true. I absolutely agree and as a part that learned a lot about survival from her and uses modified versions of what she did to support, shape, and empower the system - I totally get it and its true. She did give us our fangs that saved our ass and our claws that let us climb our way up. It really is questionable as to whether we would have survived and got here if she didnt do what she did - hell I can say for a fact we wouldnt be where we are today if not for her because you know what?

All that trauma she gave us, all the predators she handed us to, all the fucked up shit we went through and over came are all important losses and victories that built us into the beast we are today. I am thankful in that sense for our experiences - good and bad - cause I, much like the rest of the system, love who we are today and I have no "what ifs" that I bother thinking about cause as far as I care, this is a stellar me to be.

With that said, even if she is partially creditted for making us into the Kings we are, even if she might have saved us over all, she's still the person who put us on a platter for predators and left us to learn or die. She is still the person that hijacked our already vulnerable, shit and garbage life and used us for her own entertainment, coping, security and curiousity. She's still the one that raised me like an attack dog enough so that I am deeply lycanthropic in mentality and cant escape it. She's still the one that took a severely and overtly mentally ill kid and realized it was fascinating and funny to see what weird things she could get us to believe, do, and control.

Of course most of us are prone to going "we totally agree and believe we are right in cutting her off and calling her our most insidious and probably worst abuser, but was she REALLY that bad? She did save us by giving us the knowledge that let us survive"

She was the only person who offered us anything. She was the only ally, that is true. But one can both be your only ally and still be the person that kills you.

Judas, Brutus, hell the statistic states the people closest to you are the most likely people to murder you.

Handlers gain your trust. Handlers give you safety you never had. Handlers give you care you need. Yes that aid may be what kept you alive for a bit longer, but there was never a promise of you living to pay the 'catches' of that and the hell and danger they put you through does not diminish by the fact they saved you once

One kind act does not outweigh years, hell a life of objectification, commoditization, and ownership.

If someone saves your life, you don't owe them 10 lives of loyalty, especially not when they risk your life several times.

[vero-niche]

10th tumblr birthday post wahoo

so i wanted to make a post for the 10th anniversary of me joining yknow... thats like a big and round number... it's still november 16th for me here so just in time haha

trivia night and thank you speeches under the cut, got a bit lenghty lmao

🎈 some fun facts i totally did not gather just now from my archive:

i didnt make an introduction post - i just got right into reblogging, i was on that Grind from day 1 babeyyyy

for anyone wondering, although it pains to admit but my first url was i-cant-without-wholock. yea

my first original post was a venting post about my friend ditching meeting me. yikies!

as of right now, i have 148,958 posts! fucking hell!!!

and 945 followers. mwah to you all

although these are no longer done, i remember the "follow forever" days, so im gonna highlight some followers/mutuals based on stats and my memory (i apologize in advance)

🎆 last month's highest note-givers:

@vestaldestroyer, datoneace (whom i can't tag lol) i see you in my notes. i am handing you a delicious cupcake 🧁

sipral, wise-emperor, please proceed to below hehe

🎇 runner-ups whom i see daily as well:

@atrevir - i'll still let you know if i ever get to ireland btw, im giving you a fortune cookie as a token of that promise 🥠

@thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname - you became the 4th in the weekly notes view which is especially an achievement considering you started following me 6 days ago. mobestie, what else could i offer if not a broccoli in these trying times 🥦

@pastel-moth-boi @imsickenedbutcurious i see you i love you have some sweets please🧇🍩

🎊 people with godlike patience, or, the veteran mutuals:

@comettailwanderer - congratulations, you are the no. 1 still active blog that has been following me for the longest time (4th oldest overall)! im giving you an entire rollercoaster, which is what i imagine these 10 years must have felt like for you 🎢 💛

@wise-emperor - the title of the longest still active mutual goes to you bestie, 9 years and still going strong as hell, guess we never miss 💞🥂

@autumnbois - 6 years and the wildest fandom related life story i ever heard - i hope you are keeping safe, ilysm you are doing gods work 🌈🥧

@sipral - not 100% sure if you've only been following for 1 year, but mutuals we've been for that long - feels much longer!!! while i press a proper reply out of myself, please receive these earthly goods from me, love you 5ever 🍹🍰

i apologize if i left out anybody - the mutuals i know from irl, i didn't want to "expose" you but if for some reason you got this far, next coffee's on me ☕����

it is almost 11pm now so im gonna hit post now, lest i run out of the date itself 😅 thank you everyone who made tumblr worth spending a decade on 💕💖💝💘

[soulbondinghelp]

Can you actually prove that this person *led* the cult, as opposed to being another *victim* of it? Just being involved with a cult years ago isn't a crime, and I don't believe anyone has bothered to talk to this person since they've had time to recover. Also, the post linked to Othermagic contains screencaps I literally cannot even read, so it's not a great source. Especially when the oldest sources are years old. Where is recent proof of being a dangerous person?

Sure thing. While the oldest sources are years old, someone who does things this bad should not be forgotten since that is often how cult leaders sneak back into communities and it was in fact not that many years ago that this happened. Here is a screenshot proving that Sora led the discord server the cult was in fact on.

As for the quality of othermagic’s screenshots, you can see them on the blog that was also linked. I am not sure if they are higher quality there or not, but I apologize if they aren’t. I can transcribe them here so they are easier to read and you can get someone who can read them to confirm this.

WARNINGS FOR NAZIS, ANIMAL ABUSE, AND NECROPHILIA UNDER THE CUT

First screenshot on othermagic’s blog:

???: at that point i genuinely believe god is going to punish us __. It’s too much __.

Tillian: “no god wont because theres nothing morally wrong w fucking roadkill like. nobody gets hurt by this whlah wah its wrong but ok who is getting hurr

hurt

except u if u get dick parasites

But that’s ur personal choice

healthier than drinkinf

(insert incomprehensible gibberish random letter typing here somewhere along the lines of fnloahsdgfb)”

???: “Tillian you would be a great salesman because you could absolutely sell __ on that but __ i decided i ahve standards __.

like i cant believe im saying this rn bc im a living beastiality fetish __ But I would rather play dead as a deer __”

Second screenshot

Tillian: “This is your hard limit huh

???: “DONG + HITLER IS GROSS”

Tillian: “Digic8vurje”

???: “SEXUAL DESIRE FOR HITLER IS GROSS

my limit is hitlet

hitler”

Tillian: “HE DIDN’T HAVE A FACE IN THIS JUST GORE AND MAGGOTS ITS OK”

???: “JESUS”

Third screenshot (note how it contradicts the above statements made by Tillian as Tillian was the host as far as I am aware)

In 2018 we accuse people of being nazis for tolerating their friends bad fictive that they literally couldn’t control the formation of because they literally have DID..even though they hate fascism. This makes sense. Very much sense.

Fourth screenshot:

Tillian: “Hey uh

So

Dog’s dog got horny

So I jerked him off until he knotted my hand

andi kinda licked his dick

zo yeah

Im drubk and beastiality is valod”

5th screenshot

???:” i kwo

and i felt bad i felt really abd

i still feel bda and i want to talk to them

and tell them i didn’t wanna like fuck everything up so i was just scared at that point because when i told them how horrible they made me feel about myself sometimes with the way they talked they just ghot mad at me

i wasnt trying to witch hunt tillian, i wanted to talk but then i remembered hannah”

Sora: “someone without the full context of tillians relationship with the nazi thing would definately be triggered by nazis is that self validation

getting your feelings validated by an outside source who would definitely say tillian was wrong”

???: “i know they don’t mean that much harm with it

but what if im wrong

thats the thing”

Sora:”I’m saying that would be your motive and its not a good way to asses a situation”

???: “i feel like im wrong and they have to be lying so they can talk about it because ive lied before”

The rest is legitimately too muddled for me to read either, but it is simply a documentation of Sora’s mentality about deciding what is real or not and I can provide other screenshots from my sources to verify that he does indeed think that way. They are not blurred out however so you are going to need to PM me for those.

Sora is a dangerous person and despite the fact that we have no documentation of his behavior from the recent two or so years, it is still a bad idea to trust anyone who is known to be a lying manipulative cult leader who defends nazis and dog rapists.

[prettywordsyouleft]

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @g-exo Thank you sweetie! <3

1. What takes too much of your time?

Working and writing. 

2. What makes your day better?

Writing, k-dramas, crafting, bullet journalling, chocolate lol.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

This is going to sound odd, but we have 3 little kittens (and their mama) who we rescued from our horses’ hay shed a few weeks ago. The kittens started on solids like two days ago and one of them hadn’t pooped and was pretty full. After some assistance from me, she went and pooped. I could have cried with pure happiness. Poor thing was so uncomfortable.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

The world of Howl’s Moving Castle. To be able to use the door in Howl’s Castle to go to different realms and places would be truly magical.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I believe so. Not so good at taking the same said advice though >_<

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Generalised Anxiety.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Nope and I’m grateful that I haven’t :/ << same.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

SHINee as a group. I was in a hard place when I got into kpop with being unable to walk. I was entirely depressed from my accident and thought I would never get anywhere again. Their music gave me an escapism that I needed at first, and then I found the confidence in myself to get back up and try again. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I don’t think I truly know what love is aside from familial love. I’ve not had the opportunity to fall in love. 

10. What’s your dream date?

I don’t think I have one. Something simple yet fulfilling with a person who is actually engaged in the date happenings and wanting to be in my company would be enough for me!

11. What do others notice about you?

I like to give. Everyone who has come across me - whether in passing or actually get to know me, all say that I have this ability to share with others and make their lives brighter by doing so. 

The ones who know me well complain that I don’t know when to stop and rest because I’m so focused on completing my tasks/ giving to others lol. 

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I guess the above - being too stubborn to know when I need to rest. I’m pretty bad about it. I overload myself and then get too stressed out. It’s something I’m working on!

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Not applicable to me.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

Zero.

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

6456 is the amount I have on itunes. I have various playlists that I listen to despite my mood though.

16. What instruments can you play?

None.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

Uhhhh on my phone it’s Mark Tuan. Followed by Kyungsoo and both Jung/Park Jinyoung’s.

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Italian Peninsula is my top pick. Other places would be Greece, Japan, Korea and England.

19. What is your zodiac?

Gemini technically.

20. Do you relate to it?

I fall on the Gemini-Cancer cusp and relate to articles I’ve read of Gemini-Cancer cusp people than pure Gemini traits. I’m definitely not an outgoing, carefree person as Gem’s are describe to be lol.

21. What is happiness to you?

My family, friends and even our pets succeeding in life. Seeing their happiness makes me feel good.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

This whole year has been a “going through” kind of year. Every time I think things are settling, another thing is thrown my way. But I’m optimistic it means I’m getting stronger with this testing period. 

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

Not buying VIP tickets when B.A.P came here for their L.O.E tour. I chose Gold tickets because they had seats and as a partially disabled person through my right leg, I didn’t think I could stand for the duration of the concert. It’s something I’ve regretted for years - they were so amazing to everyone, but those in VIP were so darn lucky with all the interactions they had!  

24. What’s your favourite store?

I guess Gordon Harris, the local art store, because I am always there picking up new stationery supplies for bullet journalling. 

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

It’s a very personal choice. As a person who wants to be a mother one day, it’s an option I could never ever bring myself to do. However, it’s not my place to judge, condemn or preach at those who feel it’s their only choice at the time. 

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Kind of? In my bullet journal for the past 2 years I’ve done the whole “19/20 things to do before 2019/2020″ but I don’t have an official bucket list or anything.

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Probably Verse 2 - JJ Project because I listen to it all the time. Otherwise, Good Timing - B1A4 is probably another long time favourite.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Not really sure... my birthday is hard because it’s ten days before my Dad’s death anniversary. So I just try to do something to smile each year. Maybe go out for dinner to celebrate mine and Mum’s birthday (she’s a week exactly after my birthday)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

I’ve been told most people think I’m shy and awkward but once I talk, they are surprised with how engaging I can be in conversation. Which makes me laugh because generally on the inside I’m panicking as I have social anxiety issues. 

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I’m 32 but people never seem to think it. When I was at university, I was older than everyone else as an adult student but they all thought I was around 20-21 when I was 24+ hahah. 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

On top of Octavia’s crate which is next to my bed. Or if I need to charge it, I leave it on my desk. I’m a very light sleeper so when my alarm goes off, it doesn’t need to be next to me to wake me up.

32. what word do you say the most?

When I’m talking - “like” (which really annoys me). When I’m writing - “but”.

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

I try to believe I would date anyone regardless of age. But I’ve been known to have put an age limit of no more than 8 years older when I was feebly using dating websites. I don’t actively search for someone anymore, so if they came into my world and matched me well in a natural way, then I don’t think age would deter me. 

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’m a bit more carefree on this one... I think it comes from being an older kpop fan and liking on younger idols because there’s hardly any idols left that are my age/older lol. Again as above, I wouldn’t let a younger age deter me in the right setting.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Author. I’ve even done those career quizzes on multiple occasions and the first choice is always Author/Writer. 

The second choice people say is teacher. Which I was training to be until my injury. 

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

K-Pop. 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

I’m happy where I live. I’ve never thought of being able to live elsewhere.

38. What is your current favourite song?

White or Feeling - both by Jeong Sewoon. 

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I started it on July 2nd, 2018.

40. What are you excited for?

Uh, I’m not really excited for anything? 

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

A bit of both.

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Yesterday I made a new paddock up for our horses, cleaned out my guinea pig’s house, cleaned out the entire bathroom where Byul and her kittens are staying. And then last night I did Chelle Chats which was pretty busy! 

Today I’ve been pretty chill compared so far. 

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I’m not sure. I’m never good at knowing what I want. Better at knowing what to buy others.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

In high school, it was English and Biology. In university, it was Classics/Ancient History.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

6

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?  

Not sure. I had an image of how I hoped to be a mother, and continuing on with my art business, but with puberty rocking our house with my sister and my finances taking a nose dive, fertility treatment is long gone sadly. I’ll just think I’ll focus on the now and improve/appreciate what I have! 

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

I’m sure this question is related to dating but for me, when I was 14 my heart broke when my Nana died. And in 2012, when my Dad was killed was when I gained another ball in my box of grief. Last year was tough losing my dog of 15.5 years too. Got three balls in that box now :( 

As for dating, sure, I’ve hurt from limited attempts to confess and being rejected... but I’ve never had real opportunity for heartbreak like that.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

Lmfao. I’ll probably be single for my whole life. Marriage is so far from the cards for me, I can’t imagine it. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be a Veterinarian or Teacher.

50. What do you crave right now?

Food cos it’s 1.34pm and I’ve not eaten yet oops.

Tagging: @this-song-thats-only-for-you @mark-tuan-and-namjoon-lover @katdefbeom @listlessmaenads @tuanyiems @peachyparkjinyoung @jinyoungmoans @ahgase55g7 @itsallabigmess and anyone else who wants to do this! 

[hereliesbitches--me]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

REPOST. Don’t reblog.

Tagged by: @monsieur-de-paris​

What’s your OTP for your Muse?

At the moment, my most developed ship is Rosie and (@osteum‘s) Eddie Brock. Its my deepest passion for that reason, with the kind of dynamics they share, and the amount of interactions that stem around their association to each other. They have a whole family of 6 kids together (including the new addition of Dylan from the current Venom run) and honestly the ups and downs are what I live for. Its the chance I get to explore Rosie’s life as a Mom and a Wife and how she deals with it, mixed in with the regular events of her canon. How she deals with this deep love she has for Eddie and their family beyond any sane reason, and that butters my bread.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Generally anything? As long as im comfortable with my partner, and how Rosie feels towards the said muse, its almost free range. Naturally im not gonna be too cozy with the extremes but If it serves plot purposes maybe I can budge. I can’t really say my own limitation mostly because half the time I don’t really know my limits until suddenly its in my face and too much, then I go “Woah alright, thats enough”

Naturally, anything shipping related needs to be something I can realistically see happening with Rosie. And she’s a hard bird to crack.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Rosie really a grownass woman with kids, and she’s immortal so she’s more likely than not older than her partner. But Rosie is not gonna date not teenager that could be her kid. Im not gonna flip my shit over huge age gaps as long as there’s good chemistry but Rosie isnt gonna date someone who’s like.. under 25. It largely depends on the maturity of a person that will be the hit or miss with her.

She tends to be interested in older muses either way,  It all varies by what gets plotted in a verse, but Rosie is a little more open to the idea of an older partner than she is someone younger. Even if she’ll never look past 32

Are you selective when shipping

At this point in time, im a tired old lady that literally just wants people to care for Rosie beyond being a tool for romance, so yeah. Im selective( arent we all?), but im generally open minded if we already chatted out some interesting dynamics. In the end, Rosie may be a sick person, but im not gonna have her jump dick or look for some V to slay just because she’s not that desperate of a character. If you wanna love Rosie, there’s gonna be a lot of baggage that is involved from emotional trauma and her off personality, along with her having kids ,

but if you’re ready to explore that field, im open. I just dont want something half assed, ya know? Need a partner thats just as enthusiastic about the ship as me, not someone just collecting her as a angsty neko girl they can go to whenever they don’t get what they want from someone else. Im a hella go big or go home type of Gal. I dont wanna end up looking dumb or making a fool out of Rosie for caring about a ship my partner doesn’t feel the same passion for. Im too tired to get treated like that. And Rosie deserves better than that.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

The moment dirty words start getting thrown in and the heavy petting turns into intentional acts of trying to turn her partner on, its nsfw and its going under read more. I have to be highly comfortable with my partner to actually be writing it but im not against it. Although it has yet to actually happen on my blog besides Rosie’s dirty jokes. Who knows what the future holds.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with

Atm, Rosie’s partners all have their separate verses and I fucking love them all 

@quantahope with Rosie’s spaceman, Wendell. Its still in development but man is it delicious suffering and growing

@maxskulline has dragged me into the pokefandom with Max and Guzma, so Rosie and Max have that close BFF friendship with that touch of intimate passion thrown in there.

@fcllenstcr Rosie’s infamous relationship with the devil who’s nothing but trouble. There’s a lot of background history that goes into the relationship, but give em a few thousand years and suddenly Rosie finds herself the new Queen of Hell keeping the old snake in line.

 @Cecidesent is Rosie’s main apostle husband, Guts. Written by Will too, Guts and Rosie is probably one of the oldest ships I got and I love them.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

I would think its common courtesy to ask and not just force your muse onto another. Rosie is not exactly an easy person to just throw in with and chances are if you try she’s gonna shy away because bitch doesn’t know how to handle someone being equally interested in her. I would like to have talked for a while before throwing in with shipping , make sure our muses have good standing because Im not here to have Rosie used as a sex doll right away. But if you see some chemistry there, feel free to ask! Highkey chance im probably into it as well and have been too shy to ask.

How often do you like to ship?

Not often at this point. Im more concerned with Rosie making meaninful friendships nire than I am shipping her off with every person that comes along. There’s a lot of things to accept when shipping with Rosie and many things about her that arent just gonna magically go away just because she’s with someone. I dont mind it but its certainly not my priority.

Are you multiship?

The above information should tell ya by now that I am, however I do have my mains. The more passion and dedication you show me, the equal passion I put in myself. Thats how it goes for me and Rosie. Just fair treatment, ya know?

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Ship more-or-less . Really not a priority but if it happens, it happens.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom

Naturally, EddieRosie and Gutsie take the cake right now since they are the most developed I have so far.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Please just write with me and talk with me.

 Thats all it takes. 

Good chemistry, dont yank my chain and trail me along with fake interest, and im probably gonna already be into it. 

Tagging: @curiousobjecthead​ @quantahope​ @thewhitepoison​  @draconicmatriarch​ @sunkissedkxd and anyone else who hasent done it!

[qdtquietdownthere]

Day 8- Swim, clay and personal space.

Day 8

Today is going to be a busy day and I wake up and put on my swimming costume before doing anything else. 

If that isn't a wild start to a Tuesday, I don't know what is.

I get the tube to Victoria (one stop before my usual Pimlico) and head to the Queen Mother Sports Centre to go for a swim. It is odd getting off here. There have been major delays on the railways and the space is buzzing with frantic energy. Everyone is passing through. No one seems to stop. I down a coffee from cafe-disgusting-Nero before my swim. It is interesting wandering in a mad sea of people who are rushing. I like to guess what job they have and I wonder what they think I do when they look at me. If they look at me. There was a man on the tube this morning swearing at his laptop. I wondered what his day was going to be like. It is funny taking the tube every morning and being in this transient space. It gives me energy and I feel part of the crowd, but it is also so transient and so isolating. A swelling day population and I'm just one of them. As I walk towards Pimlico however, and towards the pool, the swell of people calms. I sit outside the pool and wait until 10am as I sip my coffee before I go in. I am enjoying sticking to the timetable as well as I can, This is the little bit of structure surrounded by unknown activities. 

The pool is quite this time in the morning. There are maybe only 5 people in the pool and we are all spread out. Absolute luxury. At first I notice how calm and clean the pool is. There are sheets hanging on the wall which contain workout guides. One for strength, one for cardio and there is one sheet titled ‘silver’ for elderly people. This one looks the most used, and 4 out of 5 of the people swimming today all have silver hair. This is inviting for me as the pace is relaxed. Im not ready to try and fight for a place in the pool. My last experience in Stoke Newington pool was not pleasant, whereas this is already a great experience. I stay for 45 minutes until the local schools start playing on the flumes and distracting the tranquility of the unified breast strokes happening in our orderly lanes. I hear two elderly men in the slow lane laugh with each other. Up until this point I have only spoken to two people today, and that makes me feel a little sad. Most other days I would have spoken to many people by this time. Swimming is also a lonely sport I feel, it is easy to be in your own head. Running for example, keeps your eyes busy and you get to smile at other runners. It is so easy it is to be out in the community, doing an activity in a shared space, but still lack engagement with another human. Later on in Tesco on Lupas Street I wait to pay for my nut bar and notice that the line for the tills run by a real human cashier are almost twice as long as self service. Never have I seen this in another supermarket before. A simple chore is buying food, but for older people, lonely people, it might be the little interaction they get in a day. 

After swimming, and sporting a beautiful chlorine barnet, I make my way towards Thames Bank centre. I pop into a few charity shops on the way. In both there are lots of young people, both working and shopping. Its nice to see some 20 somethings and when I buy a dress (which I now regret buying) we have a little laugh. Its nice to have this, and its interesting how the demographic has changed.  

Like the market at the weekend, it is wonderful to look in a charity shop and see the identity of a place and area. I think charity shops, and a sharing of items and style is a wonderful way to get to understand a place. There is a great book titled ‘the Comfort of Things’ (2008) by Daniel Miller in which the author, and anthropologist, goes into a London tower block to speak to people about their belongings and asks the owners to tell their stories. It is a wonderful and deeply personal book which unifies through difference, all around a backdrop of belongings. Charity shops for local areas remind me of this. I find comfort in buying something which has its own story. 

Thames bank centre is hosting ETAT (Encouragement through the arts and talking). I turn up a little early and walk into a room full of chatting, and laughing and there is clay everywhere. I walk in and have to introduce myself to everyone in the room. Everyone is elderly and they are all chatting away while deep into their clay. There is some confusion about who I am. I am there to come along to the class and do the chair exercises. This however gets misinterpreted that I am leading the chair exercise sessions. I don't really understand and go along with it. This has been the best approach to most of the activities. I start making clay into an underwater theme and then, luckily, like an act of god, the chair exercise instructor turns up and I'm off the hook. It makes everyone giggle. 

I am overwhelmed by the sense of community in the room, and once again this free, easy and non comital environment. The space is like a loud living room with clay everywhere and people come and go. Like a living room exactly. There is a range of ages, though I hear the oldest is 97. Once again I am the youngest, but this is something with invigorates me today, excites even. I feel like it is a space I would come to completely by myself. I sit next to a lady who I went on the Warwick trip with and we laugh about her attention to detail while making her ceramic tile compared with my botch job attempt. Yes thats right, I am an ‘Artist’. I speak to Jane and Karen (Who runs CAVE in Pimlico) about ETAT. They are far reaching and busy people. Pimlico million was set up by Jane who shows me videos and photos from events, exhibitions and footage of her singing at SouthWest Fest. They are currently preparing for an art show and ETAT have even recorded an album. However I am told that the album has a parental advisory because many swear words are sang throughout the song…. Again, the eldest member is 97. I'll just leave that there. What is apparent is how both Jane and Karen, and everyone for that matter, are connected to the community. They seem completely involved in its development. They make it feel this way just by  simply knowing everyones name. There is power in naming.  

Im a little anxious when I meet Jane and Karen, because I am nervous to be seen as a threat to existing services. It has been a challenge explaining why I am coming along to activities which haven't seen a new, or young, member in many moons. I stand out. I feel like a cultural probe at times. However, I'm also there for me. I am interested and excited by these activities and interactions separate from the schedule, the blog, and the cash to eat breakfast. 

We begin chair class in the corner of the huge room. There are around seven of us, all with a mixture of abilities. Emily who is in a wheel chair, a woman with dementia, Barney who is a Chelsea pensioner and wont stop laughing and then me who is giggling along with the energy of the place. We dance to music in our seats which are arranged in a circle. We play volleyball and Barney throws a mean punch. Its fun and I'm happy. I loose track of time and have to run out. 

Later on in the day, after a visit to Victoria library, I head over to the London Mayor’s Parlour to observe the council meeting of the health and wellbeing board. Im early and then I'm late and then I'm lost. Being lost is hard and I wonder what this residency would be like without a phone. Even more, without a schedule. It makes me see even clearer the obstacles in leaving an area where you grew up when you don't have the funds, the ability or the confidence to leave. It is easy to ‘other’ the next streets across the busy road. It is then easy to other the next community, the young teenagers, the refugees. I wonder how much of a knock on effect this inability to access certain spaces shapes us. Urban geography shapes us. 

The streets as you leave Pimlico become busy with suits and men who are walking like they mean business. The buildings get taller and it becomes striking that you have left pimlico. Again, the city scape, the gardens and the design of Churchill Gardens and the surrounding area give you a sense of a village. It is protected. I am desperate to draw this- desperate to map it out. 

I eventually arrive to the building I need to be at. In the foyer but the woman at reception tells me the meeting was last week. The only one today is on transport. I feel a little embarrassed but mainly because I'm a bubbly sweaty mess and everyone is in navy blue suits, not sweating and cool as a business man shaped cucumber. I ask to use the toilet but she says no, so I leave. 

It Is nice walking back to Pimlico and towards the library. I don't need a map anymore and that gives me confidence and a sense of belonging. I know where streets are and have a sense within me like a homing pigeon for the library. 

The day takes a turn and while waiting outside the library in the sunshine I get a personal call with some bad news. I am outside the library in Pimlico, but on the phone feeling very emotional. I am here in Pimlico but I'm transported into my life in Tottenham, in Edinburgh. I wish to be in these places now. I try and clean myself up to go into knitting, but when I walk in I notice only two people sat in the space outside the toilets,  knitting at speed in complete silence. It is not the right space for me at this moment. This is the only time I have felt an overwhelming sense of being in a place which isn't mine. I want someone to talk to who knows me and I want to be with my friend. I crave something normal in an abnormal situation and after abnormal news? For the rest of my night I isolate myself. I get off the tube at one point to isolate myself. To be in control. Its demanding giving all the time during the residency. I am always trying to bring energy. It takes energy to walk into a room, to try and engage someone, to listen to long stories, to listen to upset and to ideas you don't agree with. Even the stories which are happy and interesting, it takes energy. I know I bring energy to what I have been doing. I bring a genuine interest and care and a giddiness to talk and connect. I wonder how much I have given of myself. I told the women who I sat with at choir how nervous I was to sing and walk into the room, and it was in this activity which I felt most happiest, and most transformed when I left to go home. I wonder if I should have gone into knitting but be open and honest about how I was feeling and what had just happened to me merely 3 minutes before. How would this have felt? With action research I am aware of mutuality and transparency. It has been this. But I wonder if I had pushed it a little further, and let go of this need to make people feel good and happy and just talked about me, how would this change the residency and my interactions? I wonder if this had happened just before choir, would I have gone in? What is it about knitting club which meant that in that situation I couldn't walk in and be with the sadness I had just received? I believe it was the intensity of the situation, and the fact it was only two knitters sat in the library space. Even more so after this, I celebrate how all the activities and groups I have attended are relaxed and casual. One doesn't have to commit to a 5 week course going every Thursday night. Life happens. 

I am someone who recharges my batteries alone and I don't want to talk about hard subject with strangers. I know how to self sooth, how to get back the sunshine. I feel bad I didn't go in but in this moment it wasn't right. It has also shone light on the need for flexible activities in a community which inevitable will encounter childcare problems, ill health ect. Its about designing a service which despite all of what life can throw at someone, the service will continue to be outwards reaching. I think there is value and need for creating something which can be someones fall back. That in despite of sadness, loneliness or not feeling like leaving the sofa, one doesn't feel lonely and isolated from the culture and happenings of the community.

I go home and have a bath, watch some Netflix and I draw a quick drawing of a lobster. I also listen to Stormzy. Lots of Stormzy. 

[eninilaup8]

50 things tag

Thanks @suhoerections for tagging me and giving me something to do :)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Used to be school but now that I finished, i’d say sleeping fml

2. What makes your day better?

A bright sun in the sky, seeing my dog, doing something productive, seeing or talking to my friends

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

Anything lmao someone make something happen

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

hogwarts maybe, or the avengers’ base

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Idk if my advice is actually good, but i like listening to people and trying to help them

6. Do you have any mental illness?

nope

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

No, my mum did but I haven’t, it looks scary as shit. But I did have a phase of night terrors :)

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Idk, i’d say Jongin inspires me in the everyday life but not as a musician but as someone who is ambitious and who works hard to make his dreams come tru

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Nope, I’ve actually never had a boyfriend. I’ve had a few feelings for some guys but it wasn’t love LOVE

10. What’s your dream date?

Idk, sunny day and a walk in the park, laying down and talking about everything, eating ice cream and taking pics of flowers and each other, or MUSEUM date!!

11. What do others notice about you?

People usually say that I have a resting bitch face, and that I also have big eyes

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I usually scratch my scalp idk why?

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

how can i talk to him if he doesn’t EXIST✌🏼👌🏼🤙🏼🤘🏼

14. How many exes do you have?

:)

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Idk but i know that my playlist is 15h long

16. What instruments can you play?

the triangle🥴🤪

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

memes, me and my friends, my outfits

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

in space! a whole dream, but if you want something that’s actually possible, i’d like to travel all around the world, i really can’t choose. but if you really want a place, i’ve recently been wanting to go to Japan

19. What is your zodiac?

I’m a fucking aries

20. Do you relate to it?

Sometimes yes, but there are a lot of ares things that I don’t relate to at all

21. What is happiness to you?

Simple things, going outside on a sunny day, seeing my friends and family being happy, spending time with my dog, good food, dogs, travelling!!!, discovering new things and cultures etc, enjoying art

22. Are you going through anything right now?

yes, life

23 What’s the worst decision you ever made?

I have no idea, i’ve made a lot of bad decisions but idk which one was the worst

24. What’s your favorite store?

Zara💕

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

We, women, should have complete control and possession of our body and of what happens in out out of it. You can give your opinin freely but don’t try to make it a universal truth and impose it to others.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Maybe a mental one, i should write on down

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Not really

28. What do you want for your birthday?

My birthday was like two weeks ago but honestly i’m not one to ask for something. If you wanna give my something, i’m not going to stop you but if you don’t want to, thats fine. I legit want people to be happy and save earth

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

Usually, they say that I look like a complete bitch. But when they get to know me, they say I can be quite intimidating cause I’m opiniated and am not scared to share my opinions. But mainly that I’m funny and cool (and stylish eh)

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I don’t have a precise age, but they usually think I’m a bit younger, like 17

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

Ony bedside table. Quite close to me cause i’m a heavy sleeper and i barely hear my alarm if it’s too far

32. What word do you say the most?

yeet? lmao? like?

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

I hate the idea of age gap dating like? As long as you get along and the person is great for you and you’re happy? But like, rn as I’m 19, the oldest would be 25 i think. But later on, a 10 year-old gap wouldn’t bother me, as long as he’s not 15 years older than me, then it gets a bit too much in my opinion

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

I’m still young so like, 2 years younger maybe? But not younger, i’m not a babysitter

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Everyone tells me that a career in fashion would be perfect (which is what I’m aiming for), or modelling sometimes. My family says in politics cause they’re scared of me whenever there’s a debate

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

POP

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Honestly i don’t care, as long as the government is « great », which is why I love France so much (the government is far from being perfect but you know). I wouldn’t be able to live in the USA for example, or any country where inequalities are huge

38. What is your current favorite song?

all the way by joan, daddy af by slayyyter (which hasn’t come out yet lmao but already a bop). PLEASE listen to these artists they’re not famous at all but deserve so much more

39. How long have you had this blog for?

It’s not really a blog? I’m mainly here to get info, for pictures and fanfics. But I’ve been here for like, a few years

40. What are you excited for?

My summer vacation! I’m going to Berlin for a week and then to Rome for another with my best friends♥️

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I think I’m a better talker, but I’m also a good listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Going to the grocery store with my mum (is this productive??)

43. What do you want for Christmas?

My studies paid by some unknown billionaire

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

English literature and everything that involves me speaking English

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

6-7

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Being a fashion journalist for some big magazine, going to fashion shows and meeting incredible people, travelling everywhere and being happy :)

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I wasn’t in love but I got « abandoned » by a guy i was getting to know when I was 15-16, and i kind of was sad for a couple weeks but that’s all, nothing huge

48. What age do you want to get married?

I don’t have a particular age limit? If I get married at 55, well then lets do it. I don’t even know if I’ll ever get married.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be a singer, then an english teacher, then a model, then an actress... what the hell

50. What do you crave right now?

A love life duzjsbdbdb

Now, I’m tagging @justasouthernlady, @yeoldontknow @tempxo and whoever else wants to do it :)

[shayyshayy7399]

It's just Shay

Lemme first say this day of Feb. 14 2021 I am a 35 year old mother of two teenage daughters one 14 and one 18. Next month I will also be becoming a grandma (gigi if it sticks) my life has been a mess for an awfully long time. I have made many mistakes and many bad choices. Even though I gave birth at 17 my children were never one of these mistakes. All and all and as you will learn my children had SAVED my life. Yea mothering was difficult and I made horrible mistakes that I will never be able to forget or forgive myself for. In the end I have never been closer to any one in my life as I am with my children. My children and I are far from perfect but we make it all work. I love them with every thing in me. I would kill and or die for those two girls. I do often think if I would have taken a different road in life we could be living comfortably, but I didn't but like I said we make it work. When I was younger I did a whole lot of the hanging out and partying alot. That's how I ended up pregnant at 16 and having a baby at 17. Still I could have made it work and actually made something of myself. I regret it all the time. As my oldest (Jordan) dad didn't stick around I ALMOST did good. I was doing home schooling and working for my dad's business as a secretary. Eventually I started working at Walmart which is where I met my youngests (Nevaehs) dad. That was a really stupid time in my life. He was a CART pusher for God's sakes. I dated him for a while and at this time my parents decided to move to fl. Even though I THOUGHT I loved him I followed my parents. Eventually I brought him down to fl. That was a ridiculous relationship. He had a obsession or addiction to porn and phone sex so I was always catching him in something. We had a toxic ass relationship. When the relationship ended and he went back to VA I found out I was pregnant. Smh a whole mess. Eventually we got back together. Because of lies told by my lovely aunt (not lovely) I was stupid and moved to pa. HORRIBLE mistake. Not long after my parents followed. I really wish they wouldny have because I would have come right back to fl quick! So anyways me and Nevaehs dad split again and he went back to VA again. Lots of dumb decisions in the years after that. I even ended up in a few lesbian relationships. All toxic. I regretfully spent my life a whole mess and my aunt and parents had my kids alot. That kills me daily thays I wasn't the parent I should have been. Fast forward some and I end up in a relationship and then a marriage with a guy of my past. He moved to pa. We were married for 10 years. HORRIBLE marriage. He was a diagnosed skitzo ans had explosive anger or something. Ok so that brings me to now. 35 divorced mother of two teen girls, about to be a grandmother, and disabled. Ok yea forgot that part so years of being sick nothing from drs. Finally my feet hurt so bad I wanted to kill myself, my back has hurt for years. They ran tests did blood work. Turns out I have been diabetic for YEARS and from my sugar always being so high I now have SEVERE nerve damage in my feet (neuropathy) image testing on back I have spinal stenosis, slip disc's, and disintegrating disc's. Ok so anyways back to it. So I'm medicated for pain, diabetes etc. Have done NOTHING with my life so I live in income based housing and I'm broke with two teenage girls and a grand baby on the way. I wanted to explain all of this in case someone finds interest in my little blog. This way they are up to speed and know everything up until now. So yea. Thats where I am. So from here I guess we will see how this blog goes. Idek. Theres my introduction. See ya soon

[dork-empress]

So, I tend to stay out of fandom drama as much as I can, especially when it comes to Voltron. I love Voltron, despite its flaws, and I really don’t want to ruin it for myself, because truth be told, thinking about my darling space lions is sometimes what gets me through the day. For the most part, its been an easy thing. Stay focused on the positive shit, stuff people can’t call me out for in regards to how I deal with things. 

With some recent fandom drama, though, I wanted to just make a statement about kinda where I stand and answer some basic questions. This is mostly a preventative measure considering I get paranoid about people judging me, so, I wanted to write out my reasonings.

So, here is my radical, radical stance I’ll be defending today: Despite Joaquim Dos Santos statement that Allura is a ‘teenager’, I still ship Sh/allura. Ish. 

TBH part of why its taken me so long to make anything about this is because I kinda only ship Sh/allura as a background pairing in most things anyway? I’ve written some things about them but nothing centered on the pairing, so I thought I’d just stay out of it. But I do like them as a pairing, and sometimes I like Sh/att better and sometimes I like Sh/allur/att. Multi and polyshipping saves lives, people. 

The first thing I want to say: No, I am NOT comfortable with the idea adults in relationships with teenagers, including Shiro being an adult and Allura being a teenager equivalent in a relationship. I haven’t been comfortable with pairings involving Shiro and the teenage paladins either, what some call sh/aladins. The reason I’ve stayed out of THAT boiling cauldron of drama is that there’s a lot we don’t know. We still don’t really know any of their canonical ages, other than Pidge is 14 and H/K/L are ‘late teens.’ 

Because we don’t have anything solid (yet) I base my opinions on what I can infer from the show itself. In the show, H/K/L seem to be in a space equivalent of high school, maybe late in the game, so lets put them at say 17.

Shiro clearly has graduated space school and has been awarded and is entrusted to pilot a deep space assignment to Kerberos. I tend to think of him as being around 25.

Coran is considered old for Altean standards, enough to get a medical condition somewhat like...idk, menopause? so lets put him in his late 50′s/early 60′s or that equivalent. 

Allura is just starting out as someone in charge of things without her father to guide her. now to ME that kinda feels like someone at the age of....well, me. So I put her at 22 (my age). 

Now, as far as the announcement goes, and why I’m blatantly ignoring it: It wasn’t an official announcement. It was a one-off line at a panel at a convention, it wasn’t like the birthday announcements or whatever. 

And even THEN, I still don’t hold stock in it from a sh/allura perspective: From her wiki, Dos Santos described her “as young as everyone else” and "acting as any teenager would." First off, ‘everyone else’ sorta includes Shiro, implying to me just that they’re all of the same generation. ‘acting as any teenager would’....I mean, I’m not gonna lie, thats trickier. I will say it doesn’t exactly say she is a teenager (or altean equivalent of a teenager). To me, honestly, it feels more like its putting her just...in the same age group as all FIVE of the other paladins. 

Also, if we take this one statement as hard fact, please remember that we’d also have to take this statement as when the dreamworks website and comics claim the paladins as “Five unsuspecting teenagers” clearly including Shiro, and putting his age at the oldest 19. 

Now I don’t think Shiro is 19, mostly cause that doesn’t make sense to me given my reasoning from above. Therefore, I also feel comfortable ignoring Allura’s ‘revelation’ and going with my headcanon age of 20-22. 

IF the creators ever come out with official ages for everybody (which, after all this hubbub, I sorta hope they do just so we can stop debating this) I may have to reconsider my stances. But until they do, I’m going to keep a) writing sh/allura in my stories when I feel it is appropriate to do so b) reblogging sh/allura art/fanfic/etc. that I find adorable c) whatever else involving sh/allura because I think its really cute.

If you’re reading this and honestly think my reasoning is unsound, feel free to unfollow me. If you think I’m forgetting some crucial piece of information, please come into my inbox and politely talk to me. I am limited by my knowledge right now, so if I don’t know something I can’t include it in my judgement/determinations. If you think this is a good excuse to send me hate, I will block you and delete your messages. 

Also, this is just for me. If the revelation about Allura’s age makes you no longer want to ship sh/allura, that is your right. If seeing the content on my blog makes you uncomfortable, you can come into my inbox (always open) and ask me to tag anything involving the ship, I don’t honestly reblog that much of it (you can also ask me to tag anything for whatever, I really don’t mind)

[ryleejaybyrd]

ANSWER ALL THE EVENS BWAHAHA

Jesus christ Taylor XD Nobody cares but here I go!!!!!!!

lol like how I tried to play it off cool but I’m actually super stoked rn

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes and no... for like the first day of winter when it’s all pretty and pristine but when it get’s to the point of ‘fuck me do i still have toes?’ I’m over it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I like my coffee with french vanilla creamer and lovingly call it my princess froofroo bullshit drink. On the tea side of things I like herbal without anything added becuase I feel like a fairy drinking flower water.

6: do you keep plants? 

I love thinking I could, but the only plant I haven’t killed is the one that I keep in my papa’s sunroom where I’m never anywhere near it because everything I touch dies screaming.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Is internal screaming a viable medium? I like to think I can write, but that’s still under investigation

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I’m all over the place, you can usual tell by my hair tho. Seeing as it sticks straight up on whichever side I sleep on.

12: what's your favorite planet?

Jupiter!! It has all those awesome moons that are v cool.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Hmmmmm, it’d probably be a homey mess of books, fandom knicknacks and random coffee mugs with random socks laying everywhere. (there may or may not be a smiley face painted on the wall that is outlined with bullets.. crazy night..)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

I’m very uncultured so spaghetti is how imma roll

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh god, you mean every other moment I’m in their presence? My shining moment would probably be when I had a minor stroke after getting v excited about making cinnamon pancakes for @klskipper13​ and I stuttered so bad I said “ Cinininamonon pancancancakes” 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Probably green! 

22: are you a morning person?

HAHAHAHA. that’s cute

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Honestly I’m a pretty open person? I’ll tell anyone anything, especially if I think it’ll make them laugh.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT JUST BROKE AND I’M STILL GRIEVING OVER. They’re brown combat boots that go to just under my knee with laces all the way up. I lovingly named them my Katniss boots, may they rest in peace.

28: sunrise or sunset?

I like the idea of sunrise. There’s just something about beginnings that make me all poetic and shit

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yup, 100% when my friend and I got busted after drinking at her mormon grandmothers house. In retrospect, probably should have done it elsewhere.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

At my 13th bday party my friends and I were staying at a house on a golf course and we streaked nude up and down the 18th hole. Till this day I wonder if they had surveillance cameras.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

It was a doe deer beanie baby named Whisper. She was that stuffed animal that went everywhere with me. At age 12 I lost her somewhere at my cousins house and am still sad about it till this day. She had one eye and a pink nail polish stain on her chest. Bonus story: my oldest friend @haleygalik​ had that same beanie baby and gave it to me since I was so upset about losing mine. I still have Whisper 2.0 till this day

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?Right now? Uuhh, I’m not sure tbh. I’m kinda feeling serene so something celticy. I’m also uncultured in music.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Dogs that beg when you try to eat. My dad passed that down to me. I will literally stare a dog straight in the eye and eat slowly. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs more then humans, but that bothers me. I also get very twitchy when a computer desktop is just full of icons (yes I’m talking about you Tay.)

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have this wedding band set that I found when my great grandma jay passed away. I think it was her wedding rings, but I never knew for sure. I wish I knew their story more then anything.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

There’s a shop that’s in our town called grump monkey. Its small and kinda modern themed but still comfy.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Hmmm, probably when I was swimming in the ocean last November. The ocean is my home.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

The fact that Barbara Dunkelman from Rooster Teeth is so bad at puns she gave herself the title Barbara Punkelman....

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Being abducted by one of the aliens from Signs. Well duh.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Tbh I don’t collect anything really... but I do have a thing about small intricate boxes and bottles. I don’t usually keep them long tho. I move a lot.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

The only one I’ve noticed is the thing with the cowboy hat. I’m not the most observant

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I just saw a friend of my mom’s who’s brother passed away, that was rough.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

It is so great when people talk with their hands more and more as they get excited. The best story tellers look like they’re being pulled around by a drunk marionette person.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

@brigadepuppy​ is probably the wine mom, and @klskipper13​ is the vodka aunt who doesnt really drink but has a bottle thats filled with water so people wont nag her to drink with them.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Robert Frost is my main bitch. His path diverging in a yellow wood will always be my fave. tho in english class we once read this poem about a lady who kept one of her lovers locked away in a hidden room and continued to sleep by the body even after the person died... to this day i cant find it anywhere. had something to do with roses. creepy as fuck but great.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Orange is the bomb!

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

a black satin canvas speckled with the iridescence of millions of different cosmic lights

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Oh! I really like colorful leaves and vines instead of flowers.

68: what's winter like where you live?

A mythic bitch. #upperleft

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Fuck to the no. I like not being haunted thank you. Tho, I am 100% convinced a ghost named Tina haunts me. I’ve had flickering lights, random bangs, and things falling off shelfs happen every once in awhile. I’m surprisingly calm about it mostly.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

Absolutely. Helps keep my mind clear too. If i write it down it’s not swirling around in my brain and distracting me. Once its tangible its easy to toss aside.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

I have only two friends

Friend 1: My lil Asian

Friend 2: Lil Bitch

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Oh for sure. I should be buying a ticket from Florida to New York, researching my trip to New Zealand, and double checking my bills are payed. HAHA NEXT QUESTION

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I’m a fanclub! I have a lot of love for people I’ve never met

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

White, sadly. I didn’t, like I said. I move a lot.

82: are/were you good in school?

100% was a fly on the wall. Put in minimum effort and left with a 3.5 GPA cuz our school system is a joke.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Yas!~ I want to do my Harry Potter house with my friends and something to do with space/the ocean or mythical creatures

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Uh sure, I totally know what those are and they’re great...

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

The lil animatic videos people are doing for musicals! I love them so much!!! For example @galactibun​ and @raythrill​ do some really neat ones! (or at least I’m pretty sure they do??? I always see them blogging that style anyway)

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Austin! Mainly because Rooster Teeth, but also it was such a vibrant place! I would like to live their someday.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

All the cheese. It’s cheese with a side of pasta. I love cheese.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My Aunt Kelly!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100%  procrastinator. They take forever.

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

Way to long... uh probably last summer with a friends dog! Of course! Being outside is always cathartic

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d go into the past! I’d miss so much if I were to skip ahead that I’d feel anxious I think. 

Here you all go, XD thanks Tay, I appreciate you booboo

[system-of-a-feather]

Day 19+20/30 of DID

I am doing two since one is really quick and easy.

Have you ever met another multiple offline? Tell us about it.

Nope. Technically I have met two people that MIGHT be, but other than that no. My fiance thinks his mom (who dissociates and has a few other disorders that are common with C-PTSD) might have it from some things she’s asked him to get for her therapy and just how similar a lot of our symptoms are but thats just speculation. My oldest sister PROBABLY does, but hasn’t gotten treatment and currently isn’t in a place to actively be involved with it as I am. She does keep an eye out for it though.

Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID?

I have a few books that I plan to read regarding DID or things similar to it but book wise, not particularly. To be entirely honest, when it comes to the media I consume, I tend to forget it shortly after so I can’t elaborate beyond my general main take away’s and impression it left me with. I will probably forget one big one, but ya know. 

For me - while they are by far not 100% accurate and have problems in their own (and one isn’t even meant to be DID, it is literally demonic but just reminds me of DID) - two shows that feature / sort of feature DID in a way that has been good for me is Kuroko no Basket and Owari no Seraph. ((yes I watch anime))

Kuroko no Basket is a basketball anime with the main antagonist (Akashi Seijuro) being a character that canonically has two personalities and thus is heavily implied to have DID or at least OSDD due to lack of memory barriers. Personally speaking, Akashi has honestly played a huge role in my life and coming to understand myself and even further in trying to understand my DID and generally my trauma and how to work around it and really has been one of the characters / inspirations to how I wanted to shape myself and my life.

I have actually done a decent length analysis on his psychology and what not and compared and contrasted it to DID / OSDD and it does decently follow a good amount of the check list for things needed for DID / OSDD including childhood trauma and the personalities follow suit to match with the trauma that he had experienced as a child. Of course I do have two problems with it from a DID depiction stand point in that 1) It is exaggerated like all animes do - but on the same coin they make basketball look like war so... and 2) The not-normal-Akashi personality “Bokushi” while not as bad as most media is kind of in that “crazy kinda violent” alter personality. For the second one though, it kind of fits when you take into consideration everything, except for a moment or two that were just a bitttt over the top.

Even though I have some gripes with the depiction, Akashi has honestly been by far a huge importance to my mental health recovery and holds a special place in my heart - thus why I chose to make him the small image on my blog page for those that might have noticed.

As for Owari no Seraph, I am specifically talking more into the Light Novel where they go more into the demonic possession and how all of that works. It is BY NO MEANS discussed as DID or meant to be DID from the sounds of it, but while reading it, a lot of it rang home to have a lot of feelings that related to DID - especially in the sense that the demonic possession in this book were less “MUAHAHAHA! EVIL DEMON I AM DANGEROUS” and more of a spirit that fed on desire that lived in your body and head. This spirit pretty much would frequently tempt you to give into your desires and in exchange gave you powers and the theme / idea that really felt a bit relatable was how humanized the demons were and how the trick to mastering the power the best was to bond with the demon.

In that later phase it just kind of really felt like a superantural-tied DID / OSDD for me and I really kind of related and resonated with it even if it wasn’t MEANT to be DID or OSDD.

I also really enjoy Danganronpa, but Toko and Genocider Syo I have way too many gripes with the presentation to be able to mention it here. In Another Episode, the dynamic Toko and Syo has is very reminiscent of alters pretty accurately, but the way DID was depicted in Danganronpa 1 and the whole “sneezing” and “electrocution” to switch thing is just way way way too bad and not excusable as a DID thing imo. I still enjoy their characters but it is poor representation in all ways outside of Toko and Syo’s interpersonal dynamic in a spin off game to actually mention beyond this on my DID blog.

WAIT. I don’t remember SHIT about it, but I was playing through Kingdom Hearts 3 and spent a portion of it going like “I feel like this is a DID analogy” but I don’t really remember what. I think it was the part with Sora and the hearts and communication or something? I really don’t remember #DissociativeAmnesia

-Riku (Host)

[themoneybuff-blog]

Questions About Tax Brackets, Compound Interest, Warehouse Clubs, Stamps, and More!

Whats inside? Here are the questions answered in todays reader mailbag, boiled down to summaries of five or fewer words. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question. 1. Losing faith 2. Thoughts on simple investment strategy 3. Tax bracket question 4. Compound interest question 5. Costco versus Sams Club 6. Question about forever stamps 7. Investing for near term 8. VA disability and property taxes 9. KitchenAid 10. Where should I retire? 11. Credit cards for specific purposes 12. Saving old journals On the wall in my office are three framed pictures that my children drew for me when they were younger using finger paints. In the corner of each, my wife typed out a brief description of what the painting was supposed to be, transcribing what the children told her about them. They are among my favorite possessions. I look at them at least a few times a day and they provide a constant reminder to me about what Im doing, what Ive done right, and what I might do better. Theyre older now. My daughter is a fantastic artist at this point, drawing still life far better than I ever dreamed of being able to do. My oldest son is developing into a skilled problem solver and is likely headed for some sort of engineering career. My youngest has a superb wit and the most insatiably curious mind Ive ever come across. Those pictures captured them at a moment in their lives thats already past, yet when I look at the pictures, I dont think of my children as they were, but as they are. Its pretty impressive what three pieces of paper and a few cents worth of finger paint can do. Q1: Losing faith I have worked for the DoE for 18 years and been through a few shutdowns, but this is the first time Ive simply not received my paycheck. Part of the reason I have chosen to work for the government rather than an energy company is due to the stability of the job and now that feels like it is eroding. I dont know when Im getting paid next which is the very type of thing I wanted to avoid in private industry and took a somewhat lower paying job. I am losing faith in the government as reliable. Not sure what to do. Dan After last weeks mailbag focused so heavily on the shutdown, I wanted to dial it back a little this week, so this is the only shutdown-related question. Again, Im not interested in the politics of the situation, just how it affects the daily life of those affected by it. In your shoes, Dan, I would probably start polishing up the resume. I get the impression that your finances are generally pretty stable and you can handle a short period without pay. I would also use this as inspiration to remind yourself that the best kind of financial reliability is when youre relying solely on your own savings, not the reliability of an employer. When things do return to normal, kick up your retirement savings a bit and get yourself into a place of financial independence just a little faster. Q2: Thoughts on simple investment strategy I wanted to get your thoughts on the investment strategy my great uncle told me about. Hes in his mid 60s and has been basically retired for about a decade. He ran a bakery but sold it to the manager about a decade ago and sometimes consults with them but thats about it. He said that what he did was starting in the early 1980s when he was just starting out, he put a minimum of $100 a month into a savings account and then put in any windfalls he got. The minimum grew as his income did. Whenever the stock market dropped 10% from its peak, he would take half of his savings and put it in the stock market and then not watch again for another six months. He said he blew away the market doing this and its why he retired so early. I am skeptical because he sometimes tells tall tales and I think he is mostly retired on bakery money. Your thoughts? Alex So, lets break this down. He puts $100 a month into savings and then puts half of his savings into stocks every time the stock market is 10% or more lower than its peak, but he only does this every six months at most. I tried my best to match this strategy in a spreadsheet to figure out whether this would actually beat the market. As best as I can figure, over the period of January 1, 1982 to January 1, 2019, this strategy would beat the market but not overwhelmingly, and it didnt beat the market for long stretches in there. I assumed a 3% return over that entire period on money in the savings account, and I only checked the stock market on the 1st of every month. I used the S&P 500 as the number for the stock market and assumed he was investing in the Vanguard 500, which basically matches the S&P 500. Now, having said that, its worth noting that sitting on stocks over that period is simply a great investment. On January 1, 1982, the S&P 500 was at 117.30. On January 1, 2019, its at 2,584.62. That money he invested back in the early eighties utterly exploded in value. Heck, even as late as January 1, 2009, it was at 865.58 it has basically tripled since then. If your great uncle sold his bakery ten years ago and put a lot of that money into stocks, and hed been doing this investment strategy as you described all along, he probably is sitting on a pretty penny right now. As for whether you should do it, I dont think its strictly better or worse than just investing that $100 directly every month. It really depends on how the market fluctuates, as all of these strategies do. Your great uncle got rich because he made a 40 year investment in stocks, not because he had a great timing strategy. Anyone with just about any strategy starting in the early 1980s would be doing very good today if they just left the money in the market. In other words, I think youd be in great shape if you used your uncles strategy. I also think youd be in great shape if you just put $100 or $200 a month into a broad based index fund and sat on it for the next 40 years. The thing those two strategies have in common is that theyre both riding the long term stock market growth, and thats where the real money is over the long term. Q3: Tax bracket question You wrote: Lets say youre a single taxpayer who earns $35,000 per year. The first $9,275 of your income is taxed at 10%, and the remaining $25,725 is taxed at 15%. What? While $35,000 falls into the 15% tax bracket, your effective tax rate is actually 13.7%. The higher your income, the more tax brackets you pass through to arrive at your effective tax rate. There is no listed 15% tax bracket for single taxpayers.. That sentence is thoroughly confusing! Please explain where you came up with that! Tammy The article in question was written by Simple Dollar contributor Frank Addessi, not by me. Ill do my best to explain this specific point more clearly. First of all, Frank seems to have been using the 2017 tax brackets rather than the 2018 ones to explain the principle. His numbers perfectly line up with the 2017 tax brackets, which did include a 15% rate. The current 2018 tax brackets for single filers look like this: 10% Up to $9,525 12% $9,526 to $38,700 22% $38,701 to $82,500 24% $82,501 to $157,500 32% $157,501 to $200,000 35% $200,001 to $500,000 37% over $500,000 The easiest way to think of tax brackets is to imagine a big water fountain, one that has a bunch of progressively larger pools. When the little pool at the top overflows, the overflow runs down into the next pool which is a little bigger, and when that one overflows, that overflow runs down into the next pool, and so on. Heres a picture if you want a visual aid. So, in Franks example, hes looking at someone who made $35,000 in taxable income this year. You start dumping that income into the 10% bracket until it fills up at $9,525. At that point, you still have $25,475 to put into the fountain, so we move down to the next bracket. It can hold all remaining income up to $38,700, and so it holds the remainder. So, that first $9,525 is taxed at 10%, which means $952.50 in taxes, and the remaining $25,475 is taxed at 12%, which means $3,057 in taxes. Your total tax bill is $4,009.50, which is 11.5% of your income. This person is in the 12% tax bracket and their effective tax rate is 11.5%. Remember, because some of your income always ends up in those smaller bowls with a lower rate, your overall effective tax rate is always lower than your tax bracket. Hopefully this clears things up! Q4: Compound interest question I recently read a blog post about compound interest, which Ive primarily associated with bank accounts. But the article also seems to associate compound interest with retirement accounts and I was wondering if you could provide some clarity. One example early on says Lets say you have $5,000 in a retirement account, earning 7% interest each year. The first year you earn $350 in interest, which brings your total to $5,350. The following year, interest is calculated based on that $5,350 total Even if you never deposit anything but the original $5,000, youll have $38,061.28 in 30 years. I know the average stock market return is 7%, but is it accurate to call that interest? If not, is there some other type of retirement account that genuinely offers 7% interest on your principle every year (as this article seems to suggest)? Another example: toward the end it says If youre saving for retirement, invest in low-fee index funds. Fees of 1% or more will drag down your profit and cut into your compound interest. Index funds will follow the markets course and provide a solid rate of return. Avoid picking individual stocks, as their volatility can be problematic. Im on board with the ideas of low-fee index funds, but not for fear of high fees cut[ting] into your compound interest. Index funds are liable to lose value some years too, arent they? I wouldnt be giving this as much thought if it came from a smaller blog but this is Mint. It makes me wonder if I fully understand how my retirement accounts are working, or if Im missing an opportunity elsewhere. Is the article conflating two topics that dont really connect to one another? Or is there a way to leverage compound interest to this big of a degree for retirement? Max Mint is using the terms investment returns and interest interchangeably here in order to reduce the number of different terms being thrown at the reader. I do this myself its a way of making similar concepts seem familiar and not overwhelm people with new terms, especially when theyre asking an introductory question. They are distinct ideas, but they both have the same effect if you let them sit for a long time, the growth they provide is powerful. Your retirement account, assuming its invested mostly in stocks, doesnt return interest. Rather, what happens is that you usually own shares in a mutual fund. Each time you put money into your retirement account, its used to buy more shares. Over time, those shares grow in value maybe not each and every year, but most years. They also regularly produce dividends, which are small cash payments for each of those shares, issued to you. Almost always, dividends are just used to buy more shares of that same investment. So, shares grow in value over time and youre also rolling dividends in to buy even more shares. The end effect of that is much like compound interest in a savings account it builds and builds. Although theyre not the same thing, the exponential growth curve of interest in a savings account and investments in a retirement account are similar. The growth curve of the savings account isnt as steep, but its very steady and always upwards. The growth curve of the stock market investment is really bumpy, but overall trends upward much more strongly than the growth curve of the savings account. Q5: Costco versus Sams Club I dont know anything about sams club because we joined it when it first came to town years ago and hated it. When Costco came to town, we heard such positive things we decided to give it a chance and have liked it much better. Reasons are several, including those you wrote about esp. the gas prices as we pass the store every day. Further, they treat their employees really well. most importantly, they guarantee that if the credit card rewards (on their visa card) do not equal the membership fee, they will refund the membership fee. We have only one visa card and its theirs as we get a great deal of rewards based on gas alone. Jaden My experience has been that different chain stores have different degrees of quality in different areas of the country. Where I live, the two closest warehouse clubs to my door are both Sams Club and theyre both clean and well stocked and well staffed, and both feature gas prices that are consistently about $0.07 per gallon cheaper than any of the stations near them. There is a Costco in Des Moines (the closest Costco to me) and I found the experience there to be very similar when Ive visited with friends with Costco memberships. However, having said that, I didnt see anything that made it worth the substantial additional drive for me. My experience is that theyre both fine, at least at the locations Ive visited, and you should check out both in your area if theyre both available (along with BJs, another warehouse club chain popular in some regions of the United States). Q6: Question about forever stamps As you likely know, the largest increase in the cost of a stamp will occur on Sunday, January 27, 2019, as the price of a first class Forever Stamp goes from $0.50 to $0.55 (a 10% increase). While the best way to save money on stamps is to call/TXT/email rather than mail a letter, sometimes mailing a letter presents a very good value (sending someone a note of appreciation, etc.). Due to how significant this increase is, I would recommended that anyone with no high interest debt who already has an emergency fund try to purchase 2-4 years worth of stamps, while anyone else try to acquire at least a 1-year supply of stamps (as long as they can do so without paying interest on the purchase). Im curious how much of a supply of stamps you would recommend people acquire prior to this price increase? Stephen Personally, we estimated how many stamps well likely use over the course of 2019 (mostly personal letters and holiday cards) and bought them all already. This added up to 200 stamps, so the cost was $100, as compared to the $110 we would have spent had we bought those stamps at the end of January or later. With a longer timeframe than that, the cost benefit of buying those stamps really starts to shrink. Your annual return starts to sag and you have the stamps for longer, which means theres a greater risk of some sort of damage to the stamps (the longer you have them, the more likely they are to be lost, burnt, misused, and so on). This is basically what weve done each time theres been a bump in the cost of forever stamps. Weve bought an entire years worth just before the bump in price. Its not a big savings, but it saves us $5-$10 over the course of a year. Q7: Investing for near term You recommend fully investing in the Roth/529 even though they are less than 10 years out from likely needing the capital? I was thinking of them putting 10 or 20% aside for long term, although they are a bit depressed by the .1% interest our local bank returns to them. Any back of the envelope math as to what $2,000, invested at age 16, is worth at age 70? Annie Yes, I recommend putting money into tax-advantaged education and retirement accounts, even if youre less than ten years from your expected use. The difference is that when youre looking at that short of a timeframe, you choose investments that are intended for short and medium term investments, like safe bonds or money markets. They have a smaller average annual return than stocks, but they certainly beat savings accounts and have very little risk of losing money and youre still able to pull out the gains tax free. As for your other question, if you put in $2,000 into, say, a Roth IRA at age 16, put it aggressively into stocks, and let it ride until age 70, you should see an average annual return of 7% on that money. So, 54 years of a 7% average annual return on $2,000 gives you are you ready for this $77,224.30. Now, its worth noting that $77K wont go as far in 54 years as it goes now, but itll still be a very healthy chunk of money. If you withdraw 3% of it annually (which is a safe bet), thats $2,317 a year. Yep, if he puts that $2,000 away now and starts withdrawing it every year at age 70, hell be able to pull out more than $2,000 a year basically forever and still hand down a big chunk of it to his kids/grandkids. Q8: VA disability and property taxes Can a veteran who is on total VA disability with no other income receive a tax refund on his home owners taxes? Jim Property taxes are a deduction from ones income tax bill. Since, as a person on total disability from the VA, youre already paying no income taxes, you have nothing from which to deduct. I dont know the specifics of your financial state, but if you were to earn a small income, its likely that the deduction from the property taxes would take care of the income taxes on that small income. However, if your income is solely from the VA due to total disability, property tax payments wont help your income tax bill since you dont have an income tax bill. Q9: KitchenAid it is my understanding that [KitchenAid] was bought out by a foreign company some time ago surely since 50 years ago and that the new company has been making them with some parts being plastic that were metal originally. I have seen reviewers saying that the old ones really do last forever if one takes good care of them, whereas some of the newer models plastic parts tend to wear out. I dont remember seeing any mention of whether those plastic parts can be replaced. I think I found this information on consumer information web sites. Annie Whirlpool purchased KitchenAid in 1986. At some point in the late 1990s, it seems that KitchenAid replaced the gearbox in some of their stand mixers with one made of nylon rather than the original one made of metal. The issue isnt that the nylon ones wear out under normal use, but that people tend to stress them. For example, the instructions for the manual state to only use the dough hook attachment on speed setting 1 or 2, but people often turn it to 3 or higher. This causes the gearbox to get overworked and cause breakdown issues. Today, KitchenAid makes two lines of stand mixers the Artisan and the Pro line. The Artisan has a nylon gear box where the Pro line seems to have the old-style metal gear box but the Pro line is substantially more expensive. One note: the reason many people believe that old things are more reliable is due to selective bias. People remember the things that worked well in the past and forget the things that do not, and then they compare those things that worked well to everything now, where some things work well and some things do not. Thats always been true. Q10: Where should I retire? My husband I are targeting early retirement within 10 years but well be figuring out a location in 3-5 years. We want to spend the next few years visiting a variety of possible locations, narrow it down to a shorter list and then try out a few, staying 6 months to a year. Where would you start? What criteria would you consider? What resources are available, particularly those geared towards retirees (we dont really care about the quality of local schools these days). Thanks for any suggestions. Margaret If I were you, Id start by figuring out what you want to do in retirement. What do you want your typical day to look like? Does it involve regular time with family? With friends? Does it involve a lot of time outside in warm weather? Do you guys like cold weather? How do you want to spend your time? Questions like that should narrow down your target locations pretty quickly. Once youve addressed those kinds of quality of life issues, I would focus on cost of living and aim for areas that have a low cost of living while still meeting your other quality of life goals. I like using this cost of living calculator. Since youre retiring early, I wouldnt prioritize access to services too much at this point. Instead, focus on what will give you the aspects of life you want with a low cost of living. Q11: Credit cards for specific purposes I have not used credit cards until a few years ago and wondering if the following expenses qualify as recurring payment for which the card gives a cash-back: 1. Monthly rent paid to the apartment landlord (not sure if the landlord would accept credit card though but rent is the single largest toll on my modest purse); 2. Life insurance premiums. These do accept credit card payments and I am about to apply for two. Sasha I think that using credit cards for very tight specific purposes like this is a good choice, as it raises your credit score and likely provides some sort of reward bonus or cash back bonus for the card. The key, of course, is paying off the balance in full each month. Youll have to check with the credit card in terms of whether or not such payments qualify for the cash back reward. It depends on the specific offer and probably on how you go about the payment. If I were you, the next step Id take is talking to my landlord about credit card payments. My guess is that a small business might not accept credit cards, but a large one will. You may want to consider other strict uses for it as well, such as gas purchases or other regular bills. Q12: Saving old journals I loved to learn that you also use the three morning pages idea! I have been doing this for years and years, since 2000 at least. Question: what do you do with the old journals? I have a box of them in the garage. I realize I dont really look at them but it feels wrong to just burn them or throw them away but I also dont really want my kids to read them because theyre really personal and I sometimes work through hard feelings about motherhood. Jenny Personally, I digitize all of my old journal entries and then destroy the originals. (The exception is journals that Im hand-writing for each of my kids to give to them when theyre adults that contains a summary of the life advice I have for them along with things like family histories and recollections.) My process is that when I finish a journal, I put it aside for a while until I realize Im no longer looking back on it (usually six months or so), then I cut all of the pages out of the binding and scan them all (I use Scanner Pro). Then, I burn the original pages. That way, I can easily browse through them when I want, search through them using text searching, and theyll basically go away when I die (I suppose one of my kids might find them if they trawl through lots of my digital detritus, but most likely theyll just toss out old computer equipment without a second thought). Most of the stuff Ive written is simply me working through personal problems, and I really have no interest in rereading that stuff. The valuable stuff, for me, is when Im working through an intellectual idea, because I often want to revisit the earlier thoughts. Got any questions? The best way to ask is to follow me on Facebook and ask questions directly there. Ill attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive many, many questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/questions-about-tax-brackets-compound-interest-warehouse-clubs-stamps-and-more/

[haileygorski27]

WHEW… It has been a DENSE week.

I’ve been in NYC for one week and have met more people than last semester.

I’m currently sitting in Cha Cha Matcha while I sip on my cold brew ( YES – I’m “that” person who orders a cold brew at a matcha place ) and I am still in shock with the opportunities that have risen since I landed… IN JUST ONE WEEK !!

Last Friday, my parents and I flew in to LaGuardia, took a loooong cab ride to our hotel, then met up with my oldest brother for dinner. Alex, my brother, lives in Midtown and I’m living in East Village.

We all drank of one too many cocktails, ate a few too many bites, and discussed fun summer plans. I may be living in New York, but I still plan to act touristy AF!

Saturday morning, I met up with Caila Quinn! If you aren’t familiar with this gal, you must be living under a rock…

She was on The Bachelor and now lives in New York City as a full time blogger! Her blog is about beauty, style, and travel. She also shares her journey of falling in love in the city with her 350k followers on Instagram. And guess who she fell in love with…??

LOL – actually no, not my brother!

Caila is dating my friend’s brother – HOW CRAY IS THAT!!

I met Caila at Canal Street Market and we chatted about blogging, NYC, and some of her fave editing apps  – **more on this later! She is SO knowledgeable about all things blogging and she is so darn sweet !! Like – even more in person… If that’s possible ?!!

Sunday was move in day. Usually, my move in is an absolute shit show, but I packed super, SUPER light.

I only brought three suitcases of clothes, toiletries, and shoes. ( That’s UBERRRR light for me… ) I also mailed a couple boxes of clothes, but thats besides the point 😉

I have NEVER unpacked so quickly; I wish I could pack that light every time I moved into a new apartment at school…

Monday and Tuesday I interned at F Factor. So far, I’ve completed dietary analysis, contributed to Factor In/ Factor Out blog posts, researched products, summarized research articles, and highlighted what is considered “F Factor approved” on menus.

I met the AMAZING dietitians who work at F Factor including the CEO, Tanya Zuckerbrot!

Wednesday was suppose to be my first day interning at Nourish Snacks… If you aren’t familiar with this company, it’s a startup founded by the TODAY show’s dietitian, Joy Bauer. Nourish Snacks has granola bites and ancient grains that are absolutely ADDICTING.

I had to set my aside my Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola Bites cravings for half a day and instead of taking a train from Grand Central to Port Chester, I took the subway to NBC studios to shadow Joy on her appearance on the Megyn Kelly show…

MMMMK so I got an email a week prior to the actual show and I flipped my shit. I also did my famous “Hailey happy hands” where I basically shake my hands like an excited baby… :’)

I COULDN’T believe that I would actually be able to go backstage and see Joy’s appearance on the Megyn Kelly show. And let me remind you, this was the FIRST day of my internship. Can you think of a better way to start an internship??!

I met up with the Director of Nutrition at Joy Bauer before the show and she showed me in. We met Joy in her dressing room and she was a little ball of sunshine and happiness!!

Five foot Joy was wearing wedges and a gorge sundress. Despite the fact that she was wearing wedges, and I was wearing flats, I was STILL taller than her!

She gave me a HUGE hug and told me that she loved the YouTube video I made for Nourish Snacks.

A small tear may or may not have made an appearance.

She was sipping on hot coffee out of a straw and taught me her pre-show tip…

JOY TIP : use a straw when drinking coffee to avoid staining your teeth! The pigments from dark colored drinks ( like coffee ) can become embedded in the cracks and ridges of your teeth and can potentially cause permanent staining… OR WORSE – stain your teeth before an appearance on Megyn Kelly !!

Joy doesn’t only know the best healthy food swaps, but she also has THE BEST little tips.

Good think I LOOOOVE cold brews! 😉

Joy then showed me toward the kitchen where the chefs were preparing Joy’s healthy summer side dish swaps.

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I have been crushing on Joy FOREVER and here I am, watching Joy practice her healthy swap script.

SOMEONE PINCH ME NOW.

I should note that she literally only practiced 2x. She may be little, but she is mighty !!

Joy then went on the Megyn Kelly stage and before the cameras started rolling, she pulled out her iPhone and recorded the audience saying happy birthday to her daughter! Soon after, she whipped up her healthy recipes with Megyn.

When the two walked off stage, Megyn Kelly said “hi” to me in her well mannered, journalistic voice.

Pretty f-ing cool, RIGHT??!

Afterwards, Joy and I took a few selfies and I showed her my Selfie Diva Light. Joy loved the light so much that she asked me for the link to the light on amazon!😂

After a few fabulously ~lit selfies, we took a car back to the Nourish Snacks HQ. During the ride, we discussed our fave healthy food swaps, post graduation plans, and the dietetic internship. We also bonded over my Hungover Brunch Breakfast blog post!

Coolest boss award goes to Joy Bauer !!

After seeing my blog posts, she asked me how I edit my food pics. I showed her basically EVERY app I use to keep my pics light and bright. One thing led to another and I ended up editing the video clip she took of the Megyn Kelly audience!

Remember when I mentioned that Caila Quinn showed me some of her fave editing apps? We used the video app she showed me!

That came in handy when I was helping Joy add text to the “happy birthday” video clip she took for her daughter!! BTW – the app we used to edit the video is called “VideoLeap”.

( 10/10 would recommend if you are interested in editing videos BUT get absolutely lost in Adobe Video Editing !! )

Aside from Joy’s daughter’s birthday vid., I also whipped up a little BTS video of my first week in NYC…. Enjoy!

xx hails

KALE AND THE CITY – Week 1 WHEW... It has been a DENSE week. I've been in NYC for one week and have met more people than last semester.