#i know he's capable at his job
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Tim Drake owns dress shoes, however he make it a point to wear Vans with his suit in every meeting out of spite and hoping that it will convince Bruce to take his goddam company back from a 17 year old
#he also skateboards in the board room#i know he's capable at his job#But he's also 17#Why the fuck is he still in charge#Tim wants to know that too#I think Bruce has been waiting for the moment to give the company away in escapes conversations about taking it back in cartoonish ways#tim drake#bruce wayne#ceo tim drake
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#was looking for some fics with these two#I imagine this is one of their first interactions and Hunter is already fed up with Darius#but Darius is just trying to get to know the successor of his mentor and check if he's at least a little bit capable of doing his job#he's also a little weirded out by the similarity between these two#basically I imagine Darius gave him a couple of vibe checks that Hunter had failed#and Hunter takes it as questoning his place in the coven#god darius design is so pink and awful#it's so jover uni starts tommorow#it's like the most boring drawing ever but I'm just still in my I have to get better at backgrounds era#and also if I'll draw 100 awful things I get a decent one eventually#it's like inktober but lasts your whole life and devours your soul in the process#no caption just pure tags now I understand those few people who keep reblogging all my tags cuz I give all the fucking context there#there's probably like 10 things I would spot tommorow that would fix the drawing a whole bunch but I just ...don't want to ig#the owl house#sheerak#the golden guard#darius deamonne#hunter toh#toh hunter#hunter deamonne#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#dadrius#not yet but#you guys most fellow toh fanartists moved on and fanart fiona and cake but I keep brainrotting the same stuff over and over#good old toh trashpile
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Major Monogram from Phineas and Ferb is a fascinating accidental example of unjust biases stemming from ignorance and laziness instead of intentional harm in the ‘species-ism’ that is a root of injustice in the PnF universe. In this essay I will
#okay but like actually#he treats a lot of the agents shitty#especially early on#because he considers himself to be a ‘higher species’#“What is this- pick on the higher species day?#(quote from the hr scene in La-candance-cabra#and even as employees he treats them poorly#but it’s literally just because he’s terrible at his job#mans wanted to be an acrobat#he’s not qualified to learn how to manage a bunch of animals with sentience and bank accounts#or at least#he doesn’t think he is#so he doesn’t try#for most of the snow#he just kinda sits around and complains about his job#but we know he experiences character development at some point in the future#because he goes bowling with Perry and Doof#suggesting he views Perry as an equal#so we know he’s capable of it#just in the future#but in present moment he’s simply refusing to educate himself#and idk I just think it’s a fascinating example of how ignorance can be harmful#and why we should try our best to learn about others differences#phineas and ferb#perry the platypus#agent p#owca#major monogram
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love seeing your takes on mouthwashing and how sane they are. everything's so black or white. I like how you acknowledge curlys abuse under jimmy (which I honestly didn't quite notice when I first watched a playthrough. should rewatch w this in mind) and how that very much doesn't "forgive" his inaction towards Anya and Her abuse under jimmy. I think what happens to him despite all his issues (bc he clearly wasn't OK 😊✌🏼) is very much karmic. I really did hurt huh
I hate the take that what happened to him is karmic as becoming disabled and being tortured is like not in any way an equal consequence for not taking more action against Jimmy. It is a consequence as is the whole game for everyone but it’s one that is very much established as being undeserved and extreme as everyone else’s but Jimmy’s fate.
Thank you for liking my takes but I also try to point out that this exact sort of framing of the events and what happened to Curly is bad especially if you are gonna factor in his own abuse into the equation of his inaction/ineffective acts. It’s like “saying yeah he deserved the abuse he was already going through to escalate because he didn’t do enough” which is like not a message the game tries to deliver at all. It’s like the game shows that abusers escalate
Karma and punishment are not concepts that I think should be directly tied to Curly’s fate especially since during the game and even in discussion he takes on too many consequences of someone else’s actions. Like this framing is the direct thing I describe taking the discussion away from Jimmy, P.E and the factors that created the environment in the first place.
#Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart for fictional characters that suffer but the fandom has a weird attachment to retribution#as if retribution is not a damning desire in the game like the game is about what happens when you#lack the capability to try and do better or go back on it and that is about all of them but mainly Jimmy and how it intensifies#the suffering of those around him like not saying Curly is excused but the think pieces about Curly make on whether he deserved it make it#sound like he was some empty headed dolt that didn’t know women faced oppression or had any issues of his own#and that he needed to be humbled to understand as if his toxic relationship with Jimmy is not an aspect in the forefront and his apathy in#life like becoming disabled isn’t karma yes his condition parallel Anya’s feeling but it’s also reveals all the way Jimmy was already#treating him poorly and how it got worse now that he had more power over him like again he harasses Anya still but noticed he takes out most#of his frustration on Curly now like idk what more I can say#I hate the idea someone deserves to be disabled and go through such a brutal experience comments like that are weird#like this is not an argument of Curly suffered too with Anya it is they are both suffering at all points with Jimmy#and it is not at all helpful to any conversation to try to scale and compare both their experiences against each other#but rather how they both reacted to Jimmy and how it affected how they handled/viewed everything pre and post crash#like I hope this hurts is likely a comment on the whole system that allowed it all to happen not specifically about any character or what#they did like it never did not hurt that’s the point none of the choices made felt good for anyone like sorry this is not about you anon#just the general sentiment of post crash curly and deserving cause by the logic people use then Swansea deserved to watch Daisuke suffer and#have to kill him because he didn’t kill Jimmy or support Anya better like it’s crazy to me#like yes represents him not being able to do more anymore but it is again pointed out to be unfair because of what resources they had#like he suffers due to P.Es restriction even when it comes to his care because they under supply them despite how long and dangerous#and isolating and short staffed their jobs are.#got a little heated sorry anon I just think the idea someone needs to suffer for what Jimmy did outside of Jimmy makes me mad#mainly because it’s never like realistic or just or acknowledges the facets of abuse#mouthwashing#ask#anon#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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Ro would know Batman was Terry in five seconds flat if he ever encountered them outside of "Work"
#I know my ass is gonna get beat for saying this but like#Despite BB!Zeta and TZP!Zeta being entirely different beasts#He's still capable of just deadass mimicking people#She has to have picked on what he mimics and why with how much time she spends around him#Body language and stuff like that#Plus I just think it's funny conceptually#“Don't even act like you're surprised”#“You literally have the same body build and voice”#“I'm not stupid”#zeta project#zeta#rosalie rowan#the zeta project#batman beyond#terry mcginnis#Plus I mean#How else are you supposed to keep tabs on your robot if you can't tell him apart#His job is to blend in#Your job is to suss him out when you can't immediately interact without drawing attention#TZP
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really fun parallels between Minami & Nishida in which one guy who wants most of the fights he gets into generally has a bit of a dodgy win/lose ratio, meanwhile the other who has only ever welcomed one single fight in his life is the more violently competent
#ikildaman shut the fuck up#incoming tag rant whoops#nishida (rgg)#minami daisaku#and also the one fight Nishida ever welcomed was one that he lost too#to be fair it Was with Goro Fucking Majima like hes Going to lose. but still#it could also be 2 for 2 if you count the time he went on strike for majima construction where majima once again beat his ass#at least that fight was worth fighting!#its a bit of a stretch on Minami's side maybe but i've definitely always headcanoned him as being first in the water so to speak#i always thought his job was like. related to corralling the juniors. like its a misnomer title sort of. so in that environment it makes#sense. he knows what the ppl around him are/arent capable of and it'd be his responsibility to not get them majorly hurt killed et ceteras#if hes collateral though its fair game#cant experience shitty boss dad disappointment punishment so on and so forth if youre dust! win#but also i wholly believe its an ego thing esp if its related to sparring w Majima. i just know that guy fights his own men#more like Jumping them tbh Sparring has too much mutual respect implied in the act#if thrs an opportunity to lock horns with the boss Minami is all over it. this is the most attention hes had in months and it sustains him#and its definitely shortened his lifespan while he was at it#although he never wins (re: Goro Fucking Majima) but i have to wonder how well he fairs with anybody else#he managed to sweep a bunch of Saejimas friends ig. Not Saejima himself but thats obvious Saejima could punt him across the room#insert 'i read saejima throwing him across the room and got so hard i threw up' joke here etc#the fight with Akiyama didnt happen that was a fluke he doesnt exist. blah blah blah cope and seetheage#if we're gna powerscale my unironic stance is he'd put aki in the ground#& should have. & did. to me. yay. heart. okay heart
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Stonn/T'Pring
#Stonn takes long walks and has accidentally gotten to know like everyone in the area because of it#I like to think of him as a kind and uncomplicated person...breath of fresh air. Still capable and good at his job though!#I also like to think he admires T'Pring - first in a professional sense (since she seems to be very good at her job) then in a more...#...personal way. But he doesn't act on this bc she's engaged and seems content with him. BUT...if she were to be NOT content & interested#in him he might get a little courage...the lirpa might call to him...#I don't think T'Pring would be into anyone who's incompetent or dumb so I like the thought of Stonn being 'boring' or 'unassuming' but#very good at what he does in a quiet way. Since they work to restore logic in other Vulcans maybe he's especially compassionate or somethin#Anyway....Stonn/T'Pring is cute and good yes even in TOS I love T'Pring#and if SNW makes Stonn a dickhead or something then please note that THIS Stonn is NOT him <3#bea art tag#Stonn#T'Pring#Stonn/T'Pring#SNW#SNW art#st SNW
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Junichi Haruta doing stuff (a summary)
#denziman#goggle v#dynaman#go onger#kyoryuger#sentai#love this man love everything he does#i made the hard sacrifice of not including any of the times he jumps off a roof (there were a lot)#i also left out his normal fight scenes#on account of this video would have gone on forever if i showed you every time he did something fun in a fight#for being two back to back blacks he does a really good job of making kuroda and hoshikawa feel distinct#they are both capable and reliable but after that they share very little in terms of personality#kuroda is level headed and analytical. he's confident but it never quite tips over into cocky#he's the brains of goggle v both on and off the battlefield#meanwhile hoshikawa is an excitable hot head. he's a highly disciplined ninja but also a cheeky little shit#he knows what he's doing but he's never quite as many steps ahead as kuroda#briefly featured but important none the less: nangou my beloved cowboy and renn mystery egg omelette#(also ft. two of the prettiest reds of all time)#(kuroda drops shogi pieces on impact ala sonic the hedgehog - hoshikawa loves shima-chan dynablue thank you for listening)
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Thinks about Perry covered in the blood of his enemies and swoons
#LOGICALLY I know that actual killing probably isn't part of OWCA's philosophy. BUT. A girl can imagine in her head#Her blorbo fixing his bloody tie as he strolls out of a darkened room full of corpses.#IT'S POETRY. RIGHT??#Dealing with Doof is more like his dayjob. His REAL job is going out and doing crazy save the world shit#i.e. Stopping assassination plots. Doing his OWN assassination. Taking on several armed men at once.#Perry is basically Eggsy from Kingsman except mute. That's it that's the point I'm trying to make here#Or Harry. Either one works.#OR. Or. Loid Forger. DEFINITELY get Perry vibes from him.#Basically any hot secret agent who kills for a living that's what I'm. Yeah#Anyway in canon........er. In human Perry canon? He does not kill. He doesn't believe in that#Esp bc of parent trauma. AND bc if the boys ever found out Perry killed someone they'd never forgive him#He does have morals.#But in lesser canon. Non canon. AU of the AU. WHATEVER. He is capable of killing someone#Phin and Ferb would definitely be upset if they found out but they'd be slightly less upset to hear that Perry's only ever killed#truly EVIL people. Not 'evil' like Heinz. Actual scum of the earth kinds of people#Perry's like Loid and Yor combined. Clearing the earth of terrible awful people and also being a suave secret agent spy#Anyway I'm done now sorry I needed to ramble about that for a bit. LOL#PnF#Phineas and Ferb#Perry the platypus#Human Perry#Shima speaks
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unrelated to that... im picking at my other drafts and thinking about how pride (and sometimes wrath, in some trajectories) is probably his sin if i had to pick one. it's such a big deal to him, how he's perceived by others. it definitely can be a point of weakness in him and a point of self-destruction?? sometimes the pride is too stubborn and he won't give up and stay down when he probably should. sometimes he's more worried about letting someone else down than taking care of himself. sometimes he starts off acting tough and like shit doesn't bother him but in reality bro is fragile and he'll take Anything to heart. he hangs onto the things people say to him, positive or negative, and internalizes them and goes well that's fine! (it's not fine, it lingers until it embeds itself in his thought patterns)
though i like to think the friends help him gather the confidence to make more decisions based on his own feelings instead of trying to please someone else. it's about... learning to be yourself, learning what you want, that maybe your whole life you haven't been operating very much on what You want. and who You are, authentically. which is why it's always such a shock to his system when someone sees straight through him. points out the guise he didn't even know he was wearing
#i do like to think abt wrath sometimes.#guy who is capable of fucking losing it getting too emotional letting his temper get the better of him#anyway i do know i teehee about him being a pathetic little guy but his patheticness level is a shifting scale LSMSDFG#his pride regarding being someone who can protect and defend his friends? don't fuck with him#or do it'll make him cry probably if/when he fails to do his One Job
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i've been wondering- what do you think of vash and ww's relationship to pain? do u have any thoughts on it??
cuz i was just thinking like. obviously they're both extremely resilient and don't care much if they get hurt in the process of achieving whatever, but like... as for the pain specifically, i have to wonder.
cuz i'm reading trimax for the first time and toward the end of the sand steamer mess kite basically asks if vash even feels pain. and i mean... he has to, since not that long ago he just hit the floor with a dramatic blood splatter lmao. but like.
is he just suppressing visible reactions? or does he just not feel pain unless it's above a certain level?
and i wanna know about ww too if you have thoughts, i just haven't gotten that far in trimax :')
forgive me if my wording is all over the place, i havent been very elegant in my words Lately, but i am always down to talk about specific shit involving vash and wolfwood,
if we're just talking physical pain, yeah, i think they feel pain normally!
For Vash, he is the master of repression throughout Trimax, so I think naturally, he keeps a strong face no matter the level of hurt, whether on the outside or inner. It's just in his nature to not allow others to worry about him by pulling through with a fake smile or in some cases, he feels like he deserves the pain inflicted on him so even if he's getting pulverized to shit or threatened against his life, he'd default to a silence as opposed to screaming in agony that might make people think he isn't feeling anything. It's probably also second nature for him to no longer yelp or cry at pain after the amount of years he's spent getting hurt, but i think this only applies if he isn't emotionally involved in a fight (which is rare, but it happens in ch. 38).
In terms of physical pain, he seems to feel it like how regular humans do. I've thrown together some examples where he goes owchie owchie owchie that aren't too spoilery:
The Emilio scene is kind of why I don't think he's just playing up the theatrics of feeling pain, though I do think he would on some occasion, especially since he roleplays with children all the time. Verbally saying "ow ow ow" could potentially be an instinctive reaction too or maybe a source of comfort. But yeah!! I think Vash has always been able to feel pain and it's not like being a plant has lessen his ability to do so. Any resilience built is tacked on due to him being alive for 100 years and being a guy with a clear painted bullseye on his entire figure that ends up getting him shot and scarred.
In the end, the pain that gets to Vash the most will always be on an emotional level rather than physical, but Vash is such a genuine person and so present when it comes to other people that even if it's a pain he can take, it'll still hurt him terribly in more ways than one.
For Wolfwood; I think in general, those under the Eye of Michael have a strong resilience to dealing with pain due to the regen potions and the amount of training forced on them. I don't think we ever get the full description of what exactly those in EoM endured throughout their younger years, but we saw WW get shot at an early age in chapter 12 and we can assume it happened more than once. Over and over again until he won't even flinch against it just like how killing without hesitation was attempted to be drilled into him. I don't really know how it works scientifically… but I fully believe that he's mostly numbed to the physical sensation of it and it's the psychological part that gets to him more. Wolfwood himself is a naturally skilled fighter too, not that that really has anything to do with his dealing with pain, but I think his focus and attention on a battle and his stubbornness to win kicks an adrenaline that allows him to ignore the pain.
Though, his body also gets sore and tired just like any regular human does and there's this instance where he goes owie too:
(While NOT as much as Tristamp WW does where he's cracking a cold one every goddamn minute, I do think Trimax WW has gotten used to taking regen pots and thus, can afford to be careless and not give a damn.)
So, physically, technically in canon, they don't really have anything that specially makes either of them unable to feel pain, but just as you said, they're incredibly resilient. And ultimately, the both of them are affected emotionally/psychologically that hurts them more than the physical aspect of it, considering how physical pain is almost a daily chore for them to deal with (Vash being hunted for sport for majority of his life + Wolfwood being involved in experiments/killings for majority of his life.)
I think Trigun in general, while showing physical pain being a strong factor of hurt for regular people like us constantly seeing civiilians get beat up or shot, it tends to boil down to the multiple varieties of pain when it comes to those who deal with physical pain often (Gung Hos, Vash, EoM members).
I didn't know where to put these comments but here are extra thoughts:
They're both evidently really good at hiding their pains or any mark of vulnerability. They both could have a hole in their chest and go days without anyone else noticing so long it isn't killing them.
They're both pretty reckless during battle, but I think for Vash, he already tries to avoid violence at all cost and thus, do in a roundabout way lessen his own chance of getting hit in hoping to not stir that violence against another. As a result, I think Wolfwood can be way more reckless and ends up getting hurt more unnecessarily as a result of it.
They both are capable of healing at quick rates so I'm sure that allows the pain to feel more temporary, less of a risk to sustain, and to further hone in not caring too much about getting shot. That only applies for themselves individually though because every time they see each other get hurt, they're always so so worried despite knowing the other will be fine.
i'm pretty sure i repeated myself like 800 times, but i hope this Answered the question SFGMSDKGSMDKH i also tried to be vague enough in my wordings and focus only on the beginning-ish of trimax so to not spoil! i hope u enjoy ur reading of it!!
#asks#thank you for sending this and for your curiosity on my silly thoughts#honestly i dont think this is very coherent but i hope it is at least comprehensible. if im like. missing or wrong about anything#feel free to lmk.....#i do think its so crazy though that vw both understand the other is not like a regular person by any standard#and like sure vash knows sees and breathes in the fact that wolfwood /is/ human but he also can't see ww as just Another human#bc that human is entrusted with his back and does a good ass job protecting it. ww is like#super abnormal to him but in a positive human way--#but where im going is that both of them know that about each other but still are so concerned all up with each other#Never once faltering in worrying about each other. granted theyre both so haunted by the amount of people theyv seen die and are thoroughly#afraid of that same thing happening to each other regardless of each other's monstrous capabilities of surviving but theyre just so#protective in some way as a result.#anyway i am sleepyg....
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so i think im a lesbian. im calling myself a lesbian. im claiming that label. yes i had two crushes on boys when i was a kid, and those were real. but currently i cannot imagine myself *ever* having a crush on, falling in love with, dating, kissing, or being any kind of intimate with a man. sure, that could change in the future. but this is my current truth. so yeah, if youre struggling with labels because of how youve felt in the past or how you think you might or could feel in the future: try just to think about right now, what feels right to you. your past feelings and experiences dont have to "fit" with the label you identify with now. you cant possibly account for every possible potential feeling, you can only focus on now. hell, maybe i'll meet a man next week and fall in love with him. but that doesnt change the fact that right now, im a lesbian. i am a lesbian because it feels right to me. and if that changes, thats okay. just because it might change doesnt mean i cant claim the label now. you can and should claim any and every label that feels right to you (even if you only identify with it for a day), regardless of your past and future; the only thing that matters is how you feel right now.
#lesbian#lgbtq community#lgbtq#lgbtqia#queer#queer identity#queer labels#i shouldve known i was a lesbian on my 12th birthday...#it was my cousin's wedding (i havent forgiven her for getting married on my birthday)#and we had just gotten to the venue. i was walking behind my mom#and this guy there offered his arm to her to show her where we were supposed to sit#and in that moment#watching my mother take the arm of this man she didnt know#i decided i would *never* take a man's arm like that#i hated the idea of a man leading me somewhere#even if hes just doing his job bc he knows where i need to be and i dont know yet#why would i take his arm when i am perfectly capable of walking on my own and following him if he needs to show me where to be?#why would i rely on a man like that? physically or symbolically?#yeah so i told my mom that story recently and she still doesnt know im gay
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I just realized Eddie Dear kinda sounds like The Fix.
Help me.
#You know Imelda running full tilt at The Fix yelling for him to catch her would be a canon interaction#it would probably lead to Hunch doing the same thing immediately after#(also wondering if The Fix could lift all of them would probably be a throught that’d pass through Hunch’s mind)#Eddie threatening someone by rambling about snake genitals#and following it up with ‘now would you like to turn around and go the other direction#or would you like to see if I can keep myself from punching you too hard’#…Maybe not so much#though *MENTOPOLIS SPOILERS AHEAD*#Eddie doing a variation of the ‘I am not here to make decisions- I want to do my job!!’ speech#trying to trick someone into thinking he just wants to go back to his ‘assigned role’ to get them to drop their guard for an attack/escape#oooh… OOOOHH#there’s some FRESH SAUCY POTENTIAL THERE-*#Also maybe jumping out a window to escape a bad situation#but it’d have to be a much lower window/maybe have some movie/cartoon logic with the glass#bc I kinda doubt Eddie the mailman is as tough physically as The Fix- Hitman Personification of Hyperfixation aka ‘giant killy wubby’#He’s uh. like he’s fairly physically capable yes but. not by That Much#kinda more of a craftsguy/handyman than a fighter#dimension 20#dimension 20 mentopolis#mentopolis#welcome home#eddie dear#the fix#Note for any minors on this blog: Dimension 20 Mentopolis is good#There’s also a LOT OF DIRTY HUMOR/REFERENCES TO GENITALS (weirdly not sex much tho-) IN IT#BE WARNED
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Me: Oh I’m fine I’m totally normal about trigun.
Also me thinking about the all the ways the nonverbal communication in stampede is utilized for both the characters and the audiences understanding for approximately 0.153 seconds:
#he just ugh it’s so augh#like studio orange did such a good job with the show not tell of it all and it makes me crazy#the fact that both vash and wolfwood knew that there was a high chance that vash wasn’t going to make it out alive after he confronts knives#and how you can see it in both of their eyes. the regret in wolfwoods is so clear and yet they don’t say anything.#they don’t acknowledge what they both know. they act like everything is fine when it’s not fine. nothing is fine and it will never be fine.#and there are so many more instances of this happening#it’s absolutely painful as hell and I adore it#like the livio fight. there’s so much fear and regret and worry and pain reflecting in wolfwoods eyes and expressions. he’s grieving#but there’s no way he’d say that out loud. but he shows it on his face and in his every move. he’s such a capable killer with the punisher#we see that. but with livio it’s different. and not only does the audience get to understand that but vash catches on and tries to help#and it’s not just facial expressions either. little hand movements that are so subtle but say so much. like ww before vash is shot.#or when they’re in the sand steamers control room and before ww says he’s in you can watch his hand clench into a fist and it’s so subtle#but also says so much too. this got away from me a little bit whoops.#trigun stampede#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood
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I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.
#faer personal files#i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming#also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of#ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess#but i don't think that's the case#idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up#from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off#and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try#if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that#i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability#but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong#and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21#or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart#bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times.#and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!!#and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine#but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart#like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like#no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can#and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going#too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa#more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around#idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian#but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the#FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on#anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.
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thinking abt daemon and aemond's relationship in the FMF/CTF universe makes me go feral bc it's so gd layered but i can't fully explore it yet bc certain things need to happen first
#babes i could rant abt it for hours#bc daemon treasures jace as he does with all his children but jace will be king#and he needs someone equally capable beside him#and daemon doesnt know/think aemond is up to the job#but also he trusts jace's judgement and priorities#BUT ALSO HE'S HIS KID AND DAEMON'S PROTECTIVE#there's so much THERE'S SO MUCH and i have to hold it all in😭😭#ctf#jacemond
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