#they don’t acknowledge what they both know. they act like everything is fine when it’s not fine. nothing is fine and it will never be fine.

[cowboylivio]

Me: Oh I’m fine I’m totally normal about trigun.

Also me thinking about the all the ways the nonverbal communication in stampede is utilized for both the characters and the audiences understanding for approximately 0.153 seconds:

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[jo-com]

‎₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹ ➛ Shots

Oscar Piastri x Fem!reader

Summary: You guys are used to having people send out free drinks because they fancy Oscar, but when it was your turn he did not like it one bit. (Inspired by the oneshot I’ve read, I forgot who the author was sorry😭)

Genre: Fluff

Note: nothing, just look out for grammatical errors and this is not proofread

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

───── ─ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ ─ ─────

The sun radiated brightly emitting a soft glow that shined over the flesh of your skin— it was creating a rather medium type of shade the longer it sets on your body.

You don’t mind it though, as long as you were relaxed and rested in the embrace of you boyfriend; everything was just okay.

You and Oscar, along with his fellow drivers decided to have a day off at the beach. It was trip that has been long overdue, due to their busy schedules the trip was postponed one to many times.

So when they had their day off, the lot of them took advantage of it and agreed to pay the beach a visit— enjoying the calming atmosphere that surrounds the beach and having to spend time with their significant others. The whole afternoon was nothing but perfect.

After playing volleyball, you guys decided to just chill near the bar lounge and gossip about anything that comes to mind.

You and Oscar sat at the middle in between Carlos and Lando. As they talk more and more, your eyes started to drift off; the sound of their voices started to mix the other background clamoring.

Your eyes were closed but was still tentative— you could still feel the brush of air that lightly ran over your skin along with Oscar’s fingers that circulates at the curve of your back.

With a low hum, you acknowledged his gesture and was pleased to let him know that you appreciate it.

As time passes by, they were all still happily chatting; laughing at each other’s joke and a bit of yelling but playful one’s of course. Everything seemed to be going so great.

Well not until one of the staffs walked towards their way, holding a tray that consists of one drink.

The whole group looked curiously as the man settled the drink in your table. The loudness of their voices suddenly died down—all eyes looking intently at the man whose just doing his job.

With the sudden quietness, curiously you fluttered your eyes open. Not being able used to the sound of silence, you propped your body up and was now leaning your whole body at Oscar’s chest.

Your eye’s widened as all attention was onto you— you felt the intense feeling of being stared at back of your head.

“Good day ma’am, that gentleman over there wanted to give you this” he spoke, his hand then went to his vest and pulled out a piece of paper.

The waiter handed you the note and left, right after you took the piece of paper.

“What does it say?” Max asked, just as curious as the others.

“I’d like to know as well” oscar spoke, his tone laced with both curiosity and jealousy.

“Well…” you trailed off and then proceeds to open the folded paper.

‘Hey hot stuff, can i have your number??’

You giggled at the childish note, making your friends cock their head to the side, anticipation rushed over them as they try to read the expression off your face.

Meanwhile Oscar was not having it, he caught a glimpse of the note and saw what was written over it. Oh he was not happy at all.

“It’s nothing, just some guy asking for my number, it’s stupid really” you spoke, brushing off the note like it was nothing, i mean it was nothing well for you it was.

For Oscar, it was like all hell broke loose, did that guy not notice Oscar or something?

All the others just laughed; you along with them. It was just a harmless attempt to get to you, it’s not that big of a deal. Oscar gets those every-time and it’s fine cause you know he wouldn’t act on it or anything.

You we’re about to reach for the drink when you felt Oscar’s hand grabbing it first. You turned to his direction and raised your brows at his action.

“Oooh someone’s jealous~” Lando teased, repeating it two more times before laughing out loud. The others heard the commotion that lando started and played along with his jokes.

Oscar rolled his eyes, completely denying his emotion. “I am not jealous, i just think it’s stupid,” he shrugged, trying to play it cool— even though you could tell his true feeling just by looking at his face.

“Yeah right” Carlos replied, earning a fit of giggle from around the group.

“You’re not actually jealous? Are you baby?” You spoke teasingly, chuckling a little at your own words.

“Like i said, i am not” he said in a monotone voice; he was acting childish it was adorable. In your eyes it was— it wasn’t in his.

You then slowly shifted your body to face his and snaked your arms that rested on his shoulder blades. “Don’t take it at heart baby, you know I won’t actually give him my number right?” You whispered, loud enough for him to only hear.

“I know…” he sighed, his arm settled in the plush of your thighs; squeezing the soft surface to find comfort.

“I just don’t like it that i was here and he still asked you, am I invisible or something?” He added. His head hung low to avoid your stare.

A soft giggle left your lips as you grazed your finger over his chin and slowly lift it up, so you could be eye to eye. “Now you know what i feel when someone does that to you, but baby rest assured that i am yours and only yours.”

Oscar slowly smiled and hugged your body close to his,”i love you” he muttered— the hug getting tighter to which you of course accepted happily.

“I love you too, my love” you smiled and pecked his lips; it was short but meaningful kiss of assurance.

The whole day then went fine, sure they were teasing him non stop but it doesn’t affect him that much like earlier because you were there to assure him every-time.

…

Creds to the real owners ideas, this is just my version of it! Hope you like it guys sorry for not posting to much I’ve been in a writers block����😭

[maxtermind]

hello 👋 big congrats on hitting 3k ‼️👏🧨 i would request:

This is only, and only for the business deal. No more, no less.

That’s dangerous.

With Lewis, maybe sugar daddy or arranged marriage?

sending love 🫶

“this is only, and only for the business deal. no more, no less.” + “that's dangerous.”

( event masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ★:summary:: in which your husband just can't sleep on the same bed as you because- well his sanity is at it's last thread till it snaps! ★:feat:: lewis hamilton x reader ★:genre:: v lil angst; too much smut

“I have nothing more to add.”

You could feel the tension in the air, thick and suffocating, as you stood across from Lewis in the lavish hotel room. Your patience was wearing thin, and his calm façade was pissing you off.

“You're insane if you think I’m just going to-” your words cut off when he abruptly stood up, eyes still staring intently at you.

Why did he even care where you spen the night? You would rather just book another hotel room than sleep on the sole bed while knowing your husband was a few feet away, sleeping on the couch, and not with you purposely.

“This is ridiculous,” you snapped when you found your voice again, your tone cutting through the silence. “I didn't sign up for this kind of treatment.”

Sure, that was a bit extreme. Given that he was always so polite, so prime, so perfect. God, was it a sin to expect him to lose it a bit? To not hold back when you clearly lost it whenever you were around him?

“And what kind of treatment is that, Y/N?” Lewis clenched his jaw, barely holding on to his… temper? “You cannot get another room to stay in, this is not-”

“I’m not sharing a room with you! I don’t give a fuck about what your investors think of us!” you retorted, throwing your arms above your head. “Thought this marriage was only for a business deal?!”

He took a step closer, his eyes darkening with frustration. “That's right. This is only, and only for the business deal. No more, no less.” Lewis’ eye twitched and you rejoiced internally at finally seeing a tiny part of him starting to crack.

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, a mix of anger and something else— something you refused to acknowledge in his presence any further. “If that's all it is, then…”

Frankly, the words stung more than you wanted to admit to him and- yourself. You knew this marriage was arranged for the benefit of both your families' businesses, but hearing it out loud, especially from him, made it feel all the more real, and all the more painful.

Were you hoping for a different outcome? Not necessarily. It did hurt, though, when your ‘husband’ stepped onto any tiny flicker of hope you had with his ignorant comments. Why did he act like he didn’t fucking want you?

Because he really doesn't, your mind screamed, and as tears gathered in your eyes, you turned around to leave, but Lewis grabbed your arm, his grip firm but not painful, a desperate plea leaving his mouth. “Wait.”

You shook your head as he turned you around, hardening your gaze, your eyes challenging. His expression was a total contrast, softened with a hint of panic in his eyes. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Please, don't go.”

“What?” You hesitated, feeling a twinge of satisfaction at his apology. But you weren't ready to let him off the hook so easily. “You can't keep saying things like that and expect everything to be fine, Lewis.”

Oh- what a sight it was, to see him close his eyes as he tried to get a check on his composure. “I know. I know, and I'm sorry. Just... stay.” He pulled you closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Please."

There was something in his voice, a vulnerability that you hadn't heard before. It made your resolve waver, and before you knew it, you were leaning into him, your bodies pressed together. His lips found yours in a desperate kiss, all the pent-up frustration and longing pouring out in that single moment and you were taken back to say the least.

“Why do you do this?” you murmured against his lips, your voice shaking. “Why push me away when you know you want this too?”

“Because it's easier to pretend this is just a business deal.” Lewis's grip on you tightened, kissing you again as he sent shivers down your spine with his fingers snaking towards your sensitive parts. “It's easier to keep my distance than to admit how much I- fucking want you.”

“O-oh,” was all you could muster up, nodding but not even listening to him, before the words processed, and you pulled back slightly to look into his eyes. “You are a pain to be married to.”

His eyes softened, and he nodded slowly. “I know. I just... I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't,” you whispered, pressing your forehead against his, nails digging into the back of his arms to show him you didn’t care. “But tonight, I want you to.”

“Fuck,” he grinned, biting on your earlobe as his hands roamed over your body, pulling at your clothes, and you let him, your own hands busy with his shirt. The next few moments were a blur of hurried movements and breathless kisses until you were both naked, the cool air of the room bringing goosebumps, or maybe that was just- Lewis, and how his bare skin felt against you.

Before you could savor the moment a bit more, your husband pushed you back onto the bed, his eyes roaming over your body with an intensity that made you shiver. He shamefully checked you out as you did the same,“You’re fucking beautiful.”

Lewis sucked in a breath when you pushed your hair behind, gracing him with the sight of your nipples standing out, just waiting- begging him to put his mouth on them and suck them. You decided to let him be and ran your gaze down his body, clenching around thin air when your eyes found his cock.

Your husband smirked as he loosely stroked himself once- twice then fuck- a third time, knowing you were rubbing your thighs subtly to relieve some of the pressure. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” he murmured as he climbed on top of you, his lips finding your neck.

He started trailing kisses down to your collarbone and then lower, mouth open, teeth hurting you just right. “Hmph! Lew-” You choked when he sucked on your nipple, lapping it up and wetting it like a starved man.

“You. Are. Perfect.” Lewis whispered against your skin, taking turns biting each nipple as your breath got caught in your throat. “Fucking hell.” His voice thick with desire, driving you absolutely mad.

You moaned softly, your hands tangling in his hair. “Baby- shit- please” His thumb immediately found your wet hole as he massaged around it when you thrusted up a bit. “Making a fucking mess, you dirty gir-”

Before he could carry on, your hand fumbled down to gather some of your slick before you rubbed it against his length, your husband shuddering against you when he felt you cover him in your own juices.

He moved lower, back to kissing your neck as his knees gave out and his weight fell on your arms. You gasped as his finger flicked upwards, towards your bundle of nerves, he was finally giving you everything you ever wanted, his thumb working you with a skill that left you breathless.

“Lewis- I’m.. I…” You choked out, barely before you figured out what he was drawing on your clit, your hand loosening the grip you had on his twitching- leaking cock. L-E-W-I-S, he kept on drawing this pattern, rendering you absolutely helpless under him.

Your hands found his back, nails probably drawing blood, holding him in place as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. “Cum for me messy girl,” You heard him groan before he took your nipple in his mouth again.

“Fuck- Lew! Shit.” You craned your neck to look down at him, catching his other hand wrapped around his length. His angry tip leaking pre-cum that he was rubbing to stroke himself, his grip tight on his cock.

The thought of your juices mixing together on his cock had you cumming immediately with a staggered moan of his name, your body shuddering with pleasure, he was right there with you, his eyes never leaving your face, mesmerized.

Lewis moved back up your body, his lips finding yours again in a kiss that was both tender and demanding. You could feel him pressing against you, hard and ready, and you wrapped your arm around him, pulling him closer. “I’m here, baby. Such a fucking good girl for me.”

He entered you in one swift movement, a gasp escaping your lips at the sensation, he was so fucking big. Your husband stilled for a moment, his forehead resting against yours as you both caught your breath, obviously it had been too long since you both did it.

This was the moment when you realized that all those nights you spent worrying whether he had a mistress were utterly useless because the way your man looked seconds away from cumming just by being inside you for a single second?

“I've wanted this for so long,” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion and the softness doing something very ugly to your heart. “I’m afraid it’ll end too soon.”

“Me too, Lewis. Me too.” You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over his cheeks. Your husband’s cock twitched again and you gasped as your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he started to move.

It was slow at first, your soft walls wrapping against every single vein of his cock. “Fuck- I’m- hngh!” Lewis was so gone, eyes closed before he increased his pace. “Shit!” he hissed not believing he’s been missing out on this all this time just because he thought you wanted nothing to do with him.

“Never.. Oh my god- always everything! Lewis- wanted everything…” You trailed off but he got the gist of it. Still not realizing that he was not just thinking- he was saying everything out loud. His hands gripping your hips as he set a rhythm that had you screaming incoherently.

“You feel hah- so good,” he groaned, his lips brushing against your ear. “So perfect.”

You could feel yourself getting lost in the sensation, the way he filled you, fuck he really was so big, felt bigger than he looked and the way his body moved against yours, was so perfect. It wouldn’t be delirious to say you thought you both were made to fit each other.

“We are,” your husband dragged out, voice hoarse and breaking. It was suddenly almost too much, and yet not enough. You needed more, and you told him as much, your voice a desperate plea,“Faster, Lewis. Please.”

Your husband responded by increasing his pace, his thrusts becoming harder and faster, driving you closer to the edge once again. “My beautiful- ah- Y/N! My w- wife.”

You realized he was cumming when you felt his whole body go stiff and a chant of “ah, ah, ah, ah,” fell from his mouth, his cum filling you to the brim. He came so much that the next time he tried to thrust his over-used, over-sensitive cock a little, your poor hole was so utterly slippery that he fell out.

For a moment, you lay there, tangled together, your bodies slick with sweat. And then he pulled away, his eyes searching yours after he was panting a bit less than few seconds before.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with something you couldn't quite place, you didn’t know how he still had his voice intact. “Did... Did you finish again?”

You shushed him before shaking your head, your hand reaching up to caress his cheek. “Not with you inside me.” He groaned at that as his hands squeezed your waist and his head fell right between your marked breasts. “I promise I last longer than this usually.”

His words made your heart beat faster, you made him like this, made him lost control, lost himself after he entered you like so absolutely that he just couldn’t help cumming despite wanting to last.

You tried to stop it but a chuckle escaped your mouth, which didn’t last long at all before he picked up your leg and in a second hooked it around his shoulder, leaning down to kiss your clit that was sensitive as hell, making you immediately gasp.

“I know just how to shut you up.”

And in that moment, as your hands tangled in the locks of his hair as you tried to ride his face, you knew this was something. Whatever this was, whatever it would become, you were in it together. No more ‘no more, no less,’ you guys were way beyond that at this point.

©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

★:a/n:: wow i got carried away ngl but!! thanks for the request love! feedback and reblogs are appreciated :3

[ssahotchnerr]

Jack still sort of maintaining a relationship with Roy the first few years after Haley dies (Aaron thought it was important to maintain those connections for Jack even tho it hurt Aaron to do 😭 it was easy with Jess who he loves but SUCKED with Roy) but he gets extremely exclusionary once Ellie is born. Him being like “I will spend time with MY grandson who belonged to MY daughter but I will not be wasting my time, energy, and money on a child you’ve had with another woman. A child who – might I point out – would not have been born if you stayed married to my daughter and didn’t get her killed in the first place.”

Aaron being pissed on Ellie’s behalf (and his feelings are hurt tbh) and you being pissed on both of their behalfs. But, unexpectedly, Hc that Jack overheard this conversation and basically says to Aaron the next time Roy wants to take him somewhere (Aaron didn’t want to make HIM feel bad on top of everything else by banning him from seeing his grandfather, so he was gonna let him go), “I don’t want to spend time with grandpa Roy if he’s gonna be mean to Ellie. Thank you, but I’ll stay here.” SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHERRRRR you and Aaron are so proud 🥺❤️

OHHH MY GOD??

roy just completely refuses to acknowledge that ellie exists 😭

it happened right from the start: when aaron shared the two of you were expecting, roy brushed it off, muttering something incoherently in response. after she's born, aaron invites him over for family dinners, he refuses to come. he's invited to ellie's first, second, third birthday party, doesn't come. every time he comes over, he acts like he's never seen her before. disregarding her completely.

it becomes very clear very fast that he wants to spend time with jack and jack only. as much as aaron hates to admit it, in a way, he understands. roy's bitter about what happened to haley, so this was somewhat expected. it's a different situation that's hard to navigate - ellie isn't related to him, so if roy doesn't want to bring her along to places, whatever, aaron's not going to force roy to do anything. the issue is what an issue it is. how ellie is being treated.

it's more of a problem when ellie is a bit older, and wants to tag along with jack wherever he goes. she just wants to be included 🥺 sweet ellie simply says hi when roy comes over to pick up jack, he ignores her. the next time, she draws him a picture, and he doesn't accept it.

aaron gently confronts him, and that's when roy brings up haley and how this child is a disgrace to her. imagine he full-on admits he wishes she never existed?? 😭 ellie's a product of what happened to haley, he'll never forgive aaron for getting her killed, so he'll never accept this child's existence. she shouldn't exist.

that angers aaron and he starts going off - ellie is a part of this family, whether you like it or not. and fine, you don't have to love her (saying that SHATTERS aaron's heart) but do not treat her like she's nothing. aaron won't let that stand.

it starts a huge argument 🥺 roy refuses speak to aaron, except when it comes to arranging his time with jack, and the conversation is very short at that. he doesn't speak much to you either (never has). again in his eyes - you're haley's replacement. jack's new "mom"

and it's especially sad because ellie knows about haley too :( - not the story, but the simple, good things: jack has another mommy, she's not here with us anymore but you can talk to her with a candle. haley has never been a avoided topic in the house, she's encouraged. and so ellie loves haley in her own way :( so to call her a disgrace in haley's name?? when she's also keeping haley's memory alive? :((((

you feel awful. you know how hurt aaron is but he doesn't allow himself to show it. he hates talking about it, and he's always in a mood whenever roy's with jack. you feel awful for your daughter who doesn't know what's going on. you feel awful for jack who's taking an unnecessary weight on his shoulders in terms of this too.

ellie's confused and upset, this is the first person who's ever shown her unkindness. aaron gently tries to explain, but also, how do you explain this to a toddler? so he simply apologizes and scoops her up into his arms and holds her close :( he feels awful, and as if he's failing her in someway. this is "his fault", isn't it? 😭

so if roy's taking jack out, aaron or you, or both combined, take ellie out for the day to do something fun. or try to keep jack heading out on the down-low. it sucks, you still both encourage jack to spend time with his grandfather - maintaining that important relationship - even though it's exceedingly complicated behind the scenes.

and jack, being the sweet sensitive kid he is, picks up on the tension immediately. and he's torn 🥺 he wants to appease his grandfather, knows what he's doing isn't right, but also doesn't want to betray his little sister, letting behavior like this continue. he feels guilty :( he takes the initiative and brings it up to roy himself, asking if ellie can come with them someday, like to the zoo or to a movie. but roy's pretty level-headed and his mind is made up - absolutely no ellie.

so jack gets really upset :( he gets home one day and cries about it :((( you're trying to console him, as is aaron (who's close to tears himself), and ellie wanders over :( she gets sad whenever jack is sad :( and while she has no idea what's going on exactly, she just buries herself right up into jack's side as he's crying. to comfort him too 🥺🫶🏻

overall it's a reallyyyy messy situation, one that you can only hope resolves with time :(

[jjkamochoso]

Nobody Got You the Way I Do

Angst, Fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

No matter what problems you run into, big or small, you and Soshiro are always there for each other :)

Inspired by the Kaiju No. 8 outro song “Nobody” by One Republic

Warnings: light cussing, violence, mentions of blood, dead bodies, and people getting eaten by a kaiju

It's a bit of a long one so buckle up and enjoy! <3

[I'd take the fall/I got you covered when there's no one at all]

“There’s one more report that someone failed to turn in last night. Does anyone here have an explanation? Officer L/n?”

Your heart sank in your chest as you desperately tried to keep the internal freak out you were having from showing externally. You had forgotten to finish the last report of the night—well actually, morning, since it was 5 am when you finally left the office. You had written 10 other reports in a record time yesterday, somehow being on the recieving end of the Operations team’s grunt work even though you were a seasoned officer. You wanted to grip Captain Ashiro by the shoulders and force her to get a good look at your sleep deprived face so she understood that your forgotten report was a complete accident, brought on not by carelessness but by exhaustion, and then you would gladly grovel and beg for forgiveness so you wouldn’t get written up for your mistake. Before you could even move a muscle, though, Soshiro spoke up in your defense.

“My apologies, Captain, I had Officer L/n occupied as they helped me recount the details needed for my own reports. By the time we were finished, it was daybreak and I released them from their duties. You’ll have their report by noon today.”

Captain Ashiro gave a curt nod of acknowledgment before moving on to the next topic. When her back was turned toward you, you mouthed a thank you to Soshiro, who, in turn, shot you a wide smile.

[Oh, yeah, and I'd stay through the night/When you got demons tryna break through the walls]

You yawned, putting your feet in the slippers by your bed as you got up in search for a late night snack. You were having trouble sleeping and you figured a little walk and some food might help you relax. You padded through the quiet, dim hallways of the Defense Force base, your muscle memory taking you straight to the dining area without giving it a second thought. To your surprise, there was somebody already in there. You recognized the figure as your close friend Soshiro, but his body language was unlike anything you’d seen from him before. He had his arms outstretched in front of him, his fingers gripping the sides of the communal kitchen sink like it was a buoy in the open ocean. His chin was hanging low against his chest and you tried to make your footsteps a little louder so you didn’t sneak up behind him and accidentally scare him while he was in such a fragile state. You debated just leaving him be and heading back to your room so as not to bother him, but it seemed like he really needed someone there for him and you’d be damned if you let a friend suffer for no reason.

“Soshiro? Are you… is everything alright in there?”

You called out as softly as you could, but you saw the way his shoulders tensed up at your voice and your heart broke a little. The seemingly unshakable man you admired was seriously hurting and you were determined to help him get through whatever it was.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

He flashed you a grin and a thumbs up to prove he was alright but his shaky breaths and dark circles under his eyes were telling a whole different story. Both of you knew you weren’t going to fall for such a blatant lie—you were much too observant and knew him well enough to know something was wrong. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep trying to push you away, though.

“Are you sure? No offense, but you don’t look it.”

“Really, y/n, I’m okay. Go back to bed, every good soldier needs their rest.”

No matter how long he kept up this act of nonchalance, you wouldn’t believe it for a second. Whether he wanted to fess up an explanation for his distress or not was his choice, but you were content to just give him company for a little while so he wasn’t alone.

“I think an impromptu hangout session would do us both some good right now since neither of us can sleep. My room’s a mess so we’ll have to go to yours if that’s cool.”

Soshiro’s eyebrows raised in a playful manner. “You want to go to my room after hours? If anyone sees us… they might get the wrong idea. People talk, you know.”

“So?” you questioned, grabbing a bag of chips from the cabinet. “Let them. I just want to talk with a friend and if that bothers someone, I couldn’t care less.”

He was too exhausted to argue so he let you lead the way out of the common area. When you made it back to Soshiro’s room, you both sat on his bed and munched on the food you brought. You kept the conversation lighthearted for a while before diving into the whole reason why you were there with him as the moon shone outside his window.

“So, do you wanna talk about earlier?”

“I do, but… it’s silly. Juvenile.”

“Who’s to say? I certainly won’t judge you,” you told him.

A few seconds passed, silence washing over you.

“I had a nightmare. Another one. They’ve been nonstop all night.”

That explained his jumpy demeanor and tired gaze.

“I’m sorry that’s happening to you. You deserve a time where you can escape all the shitty things you deal with in real life. It’s not fair you’re haunted at night, too.”

Soshiro was quiet as he nibbled on a chip, lost in thought.

“It’s the same one over and over again,” he continued after a bit, “the nightmare. I train, I fight, I lose, people die. It’s an endless cycle of my failure.”

You leaned in a little closer, sitting up on one arm while you rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’re hard on yourself for no reason and that stress is probably what causes the bad dreams. You’ve been a wise vice captain and a fierce fighter, taking down every kaiju you’ve come in contact with. I know you can’t will the nightmares away but just know that they couldn’t be further from the truth. The division puts its trust in you for a reason.”

Soshiro met your eyes as you sent a small smile his way.

“I put my trust in you for a reason, too, as you trust in me,” you explained. “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side during hard times and I hope I can be that person for you as well.”

You gave his shoulder a final squeeze and moved your hand back to the soft comforter. His hand was ready to dash out and find purchase on your own, as a sign of comfort or something deeper he wasn’t sure, but he hesitated. The call of your bare skin wasn’t his to answer; he didn’t deserve your softness. He didn’t deserve this kindness and selflessness you were showing him as you listened to his foolish woes without judgement. What made him special enough to think he ever had a chance at seeing your enchanting figure at this hour every night for the rest of his life? If you weren’t in the room, he would’ve scoffed out loud. He was delusional. He was overly tired and emotionally drained, that’s all. There was no way he’d find himself as head over heels for you in the morning. You two were just close friends, that’s all. That was enough for him, wasn’t it? Why did he feel the burning desire for something more?

[There ain't no, no kinda line/That I wouldn't cross if you need me to/You're out here searchin' for signs/So I think it's finally time that you knew]

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you know.”

“That’s kinda hardcore considering we’re talking about a bottle of water.”

“Way to ruin the moment, L/n.”

Soshiro handed you your drink and you gulped it down gratefully. Actually, now that you’d given it more thought, you hadn’t even asked him for the bottle in the first place. Rather, you had made an off handed comment that morning during breakfast about wanting to be more hydrated throughout the day and Soshiro must’ve taken on the responsibility of making that happen.

“While I very much appreciate this gesture, aren’t you supposed to be in training?”

“I wanted to see you instead,” he said, a playful glint in his eye. “Besides, we can’t have our best operations officer wither away from dehydration. I’d be too lonely without you.”

He jutted out his bottom lip, making you laugh as you went back to work.

“Whatcha working on?” he inquired, spinning around in a chair.

“Strategic planning and city evacuation plans.”

“How thrilling.”

“S’not so bad,” you murmured, deep in thought. “And actually I’m glad you’re here because you’re the perfect man for this question.”

“You could’ve stopped at ‘perfect man’ and I would’ve suggested to the brass you needed a raise,” Soshiro teased, instantaneously on his feet to peruse the papers you had sprawled on the table.

“You could’ve omitted everything in that sentence except for the part about the raise,” you shot back, Soshiro sticking his tongue out at you. When you got to talking about work, it was like a flip of a switch with Soshiro. He immediately turned from joking to serious, listening intently to your question and helping you find the most logical solution. As he pored over the map in front of him, you noticed he was standing close to you so you took the time to observe the finer details about your friend. His violet hair was hanging loosely and framing his face perfectly. His toned arms were on full display from where the short sleeves of his tight training shirt ended. Speaking of tight shirt, it was ridiculous the way his broad, muscled back was having you almost gasp for air. However, it certainly wasn’t only his physical appearance that left you breathless. It was the way he made plates for you at meals when you were running late. It was the way he encouraged you to try your best during physical training, even if you were nowhere near having the prowess of soldiers on the front lines. It was the way he sought you out at any given moment. It was the way he was always there for you no matter what. You groaned inwardly. Your life would be so much less complicated if you didn’t realize you had caught major feelings for your close friend. Relationships were strongly discouraged in this line of work due to the danger you were constantly in and the lack of a promised future for any members of the Defense Force, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind saying that it was how you felt in the present that mattered, not what the future may or may not bring. Still, no matter if you thought about Soshiro romantically or platonically, there was one undeniable truth he needed to hear from you.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, either.”

Tearing his gaze from the map, Soshiro turned to you, mouth opened in surprise at your admission before quickly closing it again, his eyes softening as his heart swelled in his chest. You said the words with such conviction that it made him want to marry you on the spot.

“Vice captain!”

The wheezing voice of Kafka Hibino rang through the room, breaking the eye contact between you and Soshiro.

“Y-you’re needed… at the training grounds… right away.”

Kafka looked like he was a second away from passing out with the way he was clutching his chest and gasping for air. You quickly came to his aid by dumping the contents of your bottle into his mouth as he drank it greedily. Spilled water dribbled down his chin as he thanked you profusely, looking at you like you hung all the stars in the sky.

“Hibino!” Soshiro’s eyes were narrowed more than usual as he addressed his soldier. “Go refill Officer L/n’s bottle. If you take longer than 20 seconds, you don’t get any more water breaks for the rest of today’s training.”

“Yes sir!”

Kafka ran with the speed of a cheetah and you swatted at Soshiro’s arm lightly.

“The poor guy was on his deathbed, cut him some slack. I could’ve refilled the bottle myself.”

“I know.” His lips curled up slyly. “But it’s fun to mess with him and I like taking care of you.”

You wanted to explore that sentiment a LOT further but your moment with Soshiro was over as Kafka burst through the door again, your water bottle filled to the brim. You thanked him and the men were on their way out, Soshiro sending you a wave that you gladly returned.

“You’re always happy but you look more smiley than usual, sir. Was it because of y/n?”

Uh oh. Did I say that out loud? thought Kafka.

“15 laps around the building for being nosy and 100 push ups for referring to a superior improperly.”

“But-”

“20 laps and 150 push ups. Or does 25 laps and 200 push ups sound better?”

“N-no, Vice Captain! I’m sorry!”

Kafka took off at full speed, not wanting to incur any more punishment as Soshiro just shook his head, laughing to himself.

[Nobody got you the way I do/Whatever demons you're fightin' through/When you need somebody to turn to/Nobody got you the way I do]

You were having a really, terribly, horribly shitty day at work. Nothing was going right: all of your coworkers were in a bad mood, the computer system kept crashing and losing your saved data. You were beyond ready to clock out as soon as time allowed, but you were ordered to stay behind and go through computer files to double check none of the information had been compromised. You didn't know what divine figure you must've upset because there could be no other explanation as to why you were always being punished like this. Competency was truly a curse, and since you were the best at your job, along with everyone else's, you continuously got the task of making sure the Operations team didn't fall apart. It was an honor to be seen as responsible and irreplaceable in the eyes of the higher ups, sure, but not at the expense of your mental health. By the time you were finished, it was another late night at the office for you, but at least it was over. You gathered your things and trudged toward your room, eager to lay down and give your tired eyes a break. You rounded another corner of the building but stopped in your tracks when the light of the training room practically blinded you from down the hall.

"Waste of electricity," you grumbled to yourself, walking over to turn off the light. To your surprise, you heard footfalls and grunts from inside. Who would be up training this late? Your question was answered as you observed Soshiro fly around the room, swinging his practice swords with precise movements.

"Y/n!" he greeted when he spotted you in the doorway, ceasing his training, "I missed you at mealtime. Don't tell me you found another table to sit at."

He wore a fake frown that was replaced by his signature smile in an instant, his canines peeking out of his mouth.

"I'm glad you came away unscathed today. I heard it was brutal in the office."

"Brutal is definitely one word for it," you said, sitting on a weight bench. "I want to cry for hours on end but I think my body's too tired to let go of the tears."

Soshiro set his swords down and took up the spot next to you, his leg brushing against your own.

"You wanna talk about it?"

You would've loved nothing more, but you didn't want to bother him with nonsensical babbling about how sucky your day was. His work was vital and you refused to be the one preventing him from continuing it.

"I appreciate the offer," you said, standing up and already missing the feeling of his leg on yours, "but I should let you get back to training. Ranting about my work annoyances aren't crucial to humanity's survival like your training is, so I'll see you later."

You turned away, ready to walk to your room, when the vice captain hurriedly took hold of your hand to stop you from leaving.

"Wait," he said, his tone affectionate yet pleading, "let me be there for you like you were, and always are, there for me. I want you to know you can turn to me at times like these. I won't push you away."

You stared at each other in silence before he spoke once more.

"Please don't go."

Your dam of tears burst.

You didn't know who pulled who in first, but it was of no importance--the only thing that mattered was that Soshiro was offering you a safe space to let go of the misery you'd been holding in for much too long. Your tears were easily escaping down your cheeks, soaking the back of Soshiro's shirt.

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm here," he soothed. The feeling of safety and security in his arms was something you hadn't felt in a long time and was almost too much for you to bear, making you cry even harder. As more tears fell, you felt his grip on you tighten and you returned the favor, hanging onto him like he was your lifeline. His nimble fingers slowly worked their way up and down your back, sliding around in a comforting manner. His familiar scent wafted up your nostrils, doing wonders to calm you down after your outburst.

"Shh, you're alright," he cooed, his voice as warm and gentle as a summer breeze. "Today was a bad day but they don't last forever. Tomorrow will be better, I promise. You'll get though it. And if you can't get through it on your own, then we'll get through it together, okay?"

You sniffled and nodded your head, making Soshiro relieved that his comforting skills weren't as bad as he thought they might've been. You didn't know how long you stayed with your arms wrapped around each other but you wished it could be forever. You finally pulled away from Soshiro's embrace when you felt like you were about to fall asleep on his shoulder.

You let out an awkward laugh as you wiped away a stray tear. "Soshiro, I... I'm sorry you had to see that. But thank you."

He was completely unbothered, it seemed, as he brought you in for one last hug. The temptation to press a chaste kiss to the top of your head was strong, but his will was stronger, opting to leave you with some final words from his heart instead.

"Don't worry about it, y/n, you know I always got your back. Nobody's got you the way I do."

[When you go dark and the night gets so cold/I'll be on my way to you/You know I ain't tryna lose you, oh, no/If you're in Hell, I'll go there too/There ain't no, no kinda line/That I wouldn't cross if you need me to/You're out here searchin' for signs/So I think it's finally time that you knew…]

"Vice Captain! The kaiju is exhibiting strange behavior! It's headed for the train stati-"

The communications line went dead.

"Operations, do you copy?"

No answer.

"This is Hoshina. Is anyone there?"

Static crackled in Soshiro's ear and he growled in frustration, fighting the urge to rip out the useless earpiece and trample it. Did they say the train station? This kaiju was being a real piece of work. Their kind is usually predictable and easy to understand, but this one just had to be unique, didn't it? Soshiro sighed, running to catch up to other members of the Third Division to regroup and strategize.

"Nakanoshima! Do we have eyes on the kaiju?"

"Yes, sir!" the pink haired woman said, "it's like Ops said, headed toward the train station. They're trying to evacuate right now."

"Right. Thanks."

This was NOT good. A kaiju, especially the honju they were dealing with, could kill a lot of people in a short amount of time and the stations was always jam packed at in the evening. Since comms were down, Soshiro figured cell service was too, but it didn't hurt to check. He pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen. Nothing. However, he had one unread message from earlier that must've come through before the signal cut out.

Y/n: That meeting was sooo boringgg :((( but my train got here earlier than expected so I'll get to the station around 5:15! When I'm back on base I'll treat you to dinner... at the dining hall lol

He felt the air leave his lungs when he spied the current time: 5:20.

Soshiro was desperately trying to do the math in his head to see if you were still at the station. The kaiju attack started 10 minutes ago, you've would've been here 5 minutes after that, but if they just began evacuations from the trains...

He hauled himself on top of the nearest building, desperately looking into the distance for an answer to quell his worries. There wasn't a train stopped in the middle of the tracks anywhere so that meant the train you were on made it to the station and was probably the one that people were currently pouring out of in a mad dash to escape from the monster headed their way. Soshiro cursed under his breath as he jumped back to the ground, now surrounded by his soldiers.

"Vice Captain! We figured out the kaiju seems to be attracted to huge groups of people, more so than usual! That's why it's going to the station!"

"Good work, Reno," replied Soshiro, his face hardening as he addressed everyone. "You guys heard him. We work together as a group, got it? Nobody goes off on their own. We have to get this thing interested in us instead of civilians."

The Third Division set off in a hurry, making their way toward the rampaging Kaiju.

Well, this was new.

As you heard the announcement about a kaiju barreling toward the train station you'd just arrived to, you thought about how you'd somehow managed to never see one up close-- until today, most likely. The screams of the passengers around you got louder as you all heard the kaiju's steps hit the ground in a frenzied state, emboldened by the prospect of a large meal, and you found yourself getting jostled in a sea of bodies as people desperately tried to escape the train and underground station. You decided to hang back for a moment, not wanting to risk getting trampled. You looked out the train window, trying to stay calm.

"Kaiju ahead! Prepare to engage!"

Soshiro, for once in his life, was nervous to fight a kaiju. When he found you, he'd have to scold you for making him worry like this.

Yes, that was a when, not an if. He will be finding you, alive. He couldn't lose you. Not today, not ever.

"Vice Captain! Yoju are headed this way!"

Soshiro followed where Kafka's finger was pointed. The little kaiju were running toward the Third Division while the honju was still dead set on terrorizing the train station.

At least some of them took the bait.

"You guys take care of the yoju. The honju is mine," snarled Soshiro, running as fast as he could.

When the train eventually cleared enough for you to make a run for it, your chance to escape the station was getting slimmer by the second. The honju's steps were making the ground shake and you could barely stay upright. You and a few other passengers were the only ones left below the surface and were now following the emergency signage, hoping the kaiju wasn't overhead. You were feeling better about the distance you had put between you and the kaiju when all of a sudden, the roof of the train station began to rumble. You knew immediately that it was about to collapse so you yelled out a warning and ran as fast as your legs could go, heading above ground. Sure enough, as soon as you got up the stairs, the pavement next to you caved in and left a huge gaping hole in the middle of the street. Along with the other passengers you made your escape with, you put your hands on your knees, panting and trying to catch your breath. You were lucky you didn't get caught up in wreckage because it was a certain death sentence, much like the kaiju licking its lips in front of you. You wanted to scream in frustration as you realized you had run right into the trap it set. Somehow the kaiju had known hordes of people would run from the station and right into the area it was using as a plate. You had to give this thing credit for its intelligence as you were at a loss of what to do next. Most of the people you had boarded the train with were dead, save for the lucky few who evacuated the station right away. You knew this because of the numerous bodies and bones strewn about around you. The only thing left of the people you ran up here with was their blood soaking the street as the kaiju dined on their corpses. You were resigned to the fact that you were about to die and you just hoped it was quick. In a blink of an eye, you were picked up in its claw, the smell of blood overtaking your senses and making you want to puke. The kaiju growled at you in a mocking manner as you were raised to its lips, its razor sharp teeth about to bite down on your head.

"No you don't, you greedy piece of shit."

Soshiro's voice rang out, echoing in the bloodied remains of the street. The kaiju roared, upset at the intrusion of his meal. The big beast threw you down in a tantrum, intending to end your life on the pavement, but a flash of purple and two seconds later, you found yourself safely on the ground with minimal injuries.

"Soshiro," you breathed out, "how did you..."

"I thought I told you," he stated firmly, but with his ever present boyish grin, "I always got you."

He then addressed the kaiju directly. "Looks like you had enough dinner, hmm?" He pulled out his swords, the light reflecting off the sharp edges as he made a glorious display of his specialty weapons. "What do you say to me giving everyone a show?"

Soshiro was in the air in an instant, engaging in the ferocious clash between beast and blade. You could only watch with awe as Soshiro's lithe movements easily evaded the clunky kaiju. At certain points, it almost seemed like he was toying with the large monster to prove the point that he was superior and you would've felt bad for the kaiju if you hadn't just watched it devour humans a few minutes ago. Soshiro then brought the battle to a close, laying the final blows, and the defeated kaiju fell to the ground.

"Are you alright?" he asked, giving you a once over as he extended a hand to help you up.

"I'm perfectly fine thanks to you. Seriously, Soshiro, you saved my life. I don't know how to thank you."

"Thank me? No need for that, it's my job to keep people safe." His voice dropped low, indicating he was about to tell you something serious. "But I knew I couldn't lose you. You mean much more to me than you could ever know. Y/n, I..." He didn't finish his sentence, afraid of telling you how he truly felt for you. It wasn't that he was afraid of rejection so much as he was afraid of the emotional vulnerability that came with telling someone you loved them. Thankfully for him, you understood perfectly what he was trying to get at.

"You always got me?" you suggested, wearing a cheeky smile.

"Yeah," he said, a mix of determination and pure love present in his features as he looked upon you. "I always got you."

[piftamere]

left unsaid - gojo satoru

synopsis : you tell him you love him for the first time and he freezes completely.

wc : 1k

tags : hurt/mild comfort, bittersweet ending, some miscommunication?

dividers by cafekitsune

a/n: i was in a weird mood and wrote this in class, so enjoy this little angsty fic :P idk if this has been done before but 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️, gojo is so First love/Late spring coded to me

Satoru was sitting on the pavement in front of your house.

How long had he been there, waiting for you to come back out ?

Going over everything you said, everything he didn’t, everything he wished he did.

Replaying the "what ifs" over and over, his head in his hands, fingers entangled in the white strands of his hair.

You told him you loved him for the first time and he froze completely.

You must hate him now, he’s sure of it, how could you not when you bared yourself in front of him and he froze. He hates himself too. Maybe it’s for the best, you walking away now, before he can hurt you any more, before you hurt him.

It’s raining hard, he notices, he’s not sure when it started though, it must have been a while ago, because he’s soaked to the bones. But it’s far down the list of his priorities at the moment.

Satoru doesn’t hear the door opening, or the footsteps getting closer, doesn’t hear you call out his name. Everything drowned by the sound of the rain, by his own thoughts. He flinches when you place your hand on his shoulder.

“Satoru? What are you still doing here? You’re drenched…”

He’s staring at the ground, barely acknowledging your presence.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” You reach for his hand to pull him inside, but he won’t budge. His skin is ice cold. He turns to look at you, eyes filled with tears, and your heart sinks into your chest. He opens his mouth to speak but the words refuse to come out. He looks down, defeated, as he gets up to follow you inside.

He makes a few steps before stopping, his hold on your hand tightening.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I’m sorry I couldn’t say I l-” he chokes up, still unable say it.

You don’t turn around, not sure if you can stop yourself from crying if you look at him right now.

“I know, I’m sorry too.”

The sky is darkening, tiny droplets are starting to fall, you’re both laughing as you run hand in hand to your house. You spent the day together at an amusement park, stuffing your faces with sweets.

He stops a few feet from your door, circling his arms around your waist.

“Toru, what are you doing? We’re gonna be wet” you don’t try to get out of his grasp, instead walking closer to him as you chuckle, and he smiles fondly at you.

“It’s just a little water.”

“True...” you reply, wrapping your arms around his neck and tiptoeing to give him a peck on the lips.

He shakes his head no, grinning, “Not good enough, try again”

So you do, who are you to refuse your boyfriend a proper kiss?

As you pull away, you decide you’re ready to tell him what’s been on your mind for weeks. You take a deep breath.

“Toru?” he hums to let you know he’s listening, “I love you”

You wait for him to say something, anything, not necessarily to say it back, but at least to acknowledge it. Instead he freezes, like a deer caught in headlights.

Your arms drop by your side. “Toru?”

“I just...” he starts rambling, “I’m sorry, I don’t-”

You cut him off, you don’t mean too but you’re raising your voice now. “You don’t? Fine, forget I said anything Satoru.” You walk away, almost running, trying your best to hide the tears forming in your eyes, but the cracks in your voice betrayed you already. All he can do is watch you leave.

You’re both inside, in silence. You try not to think about what just happened, so you make him a cup of tea to warm him up, and give him a towel.

“I put sugar in it, just how you like it.” You're uncomfortable, not knowing how to act around him anymore.

The air is thick, you’re having trouble breathing so close to him.

“Listen I-”

“You don’t have to say anything Satoru, it’s ok-”

“Please let me speak”, he cuts you off as he looks up from his cup, his eyes are pleading, still red and puffy from crying. Caught off guard, you simply nod and sit down as far away from him as possible.

“Earlier when you told me… that, I wasn’t expecting it, it left me speechless. But I didn’t mean that I don’t care about you, because I do, you’re the most important person to me, I need you to know that.” His voice is hoarse, he looks so desperate, a tear rolling down his cheek. You want to wipe it, to comfort him more than anything, but you stop yourself.

“You can’t even say it out loud?” You can guess why it’s so hard for him, the last time he loved someone it ended terribly, still your heart aches, and you find yourself wishing he would just leave.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could... but the words get stuck.”

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to say it?” Your voice shakes.

“I don’t know. I think so?” He offers you a timid, hesitant smile.

He reaches out towards your hand, holding it like it’s made of porcelain, “I’m so scared of losing you.”

Satoru is your only weakness. You can’t stand seeing him so vulnerable. It’s impossible not to cave in.

So you do. You let him hold you, caging you in his arms, his face hidden in the crook of your neck.

He takes a deep breath in. “Did you just sniff me?” You chuckled.

You feel him smile against your skin, relieved to hear you stopped crying.

“Maybe.”

“Weirdo.” you whisper.

The topic is still hanging over your heads. You’ll most likely have this conversation again, soon, when you’re both strong enough to stomach it. But in this instant, you can feel each other’s heartbeats, your tears are drying and as the rain stops, everything is fine.

[fluentmoviequoter]

Yell at Me and Tell Me You Love Me

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!reader

Summary: You distance yourself from Tim because you think he is still in love with Isabel. When he confronts you about why you've been avoiding him, you accidentally tell him the truth.

Warnings: angst to fluff, argument, friends to lovers, the timeline of Tim and Isabel's relationship is probably off but I needed to make everything fit

Word Count: 3.0k+ words

A/N: The first title I typed was "Yell at Me, Tell Me You Love Me, But Don't Push Me Away" and I'd just like to say (a very sarcastic) you're welcome for shortening it. (Unless you like the original, then I'm sorry.)

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

You met Tim Bradford less than a week after he left the Army and quickly became one of his closest friends. Despite the secret kisses shared without thought, holding each other tightly for no reason, and falling asleep in each other’s arms, you continue to be just friends with Tim Bradford. Being part of his life for so long means you’ve seen more than most. You were at Tim and Isabel’s wedding, gave him a place to stay after the divorce, and you fell in love with him without even trying.

Since his divorce from Isabel, you’ve shared a few more thoughtless kisses, said “I love you” before ending phone calls, and slept in the same bed simply for comfort on more than one occasion. You know you need to stop, however, because Tim is still attached to Isabel, as far as you can tell. She calls occasionally, and he rushes to answer the phone, leaving you like an afterthought as the woman he truly loves becomes available again. You’re unwilling to be a rebound or a distraction while Tim works on his relationship with Isabel, but you can’t decide how to set a boundary you don’t want.

It's nearly midnight, and you can’t sleep with thoughts of Tim running through your head. As you consider the idea of simply giving him space, letting him know that you both have things you need to deal with before you can be his friend again, your phone rings. Tim’s name and face light up your dark room and life before you answer.

“Hey,” you greet.

“Hi. I- did I wake you up?” Tim asks.

“No, I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither. Are you okay?”

When Tim asks that question, you realize that the only thing you want from or for Tim is for him to be happy. Alone, in the dark, you acknowledge that the only way for him to be happy is if you are willing to move out of the way of what he really wants. If you step away and give him room to work out his feelings toward Isabel, maybe he can find what he wants and focus entirely on that.

Tim says your name, and you rush to say, “Yeah, I’m fine, just- just thinking.”

“You want me to come over?” he offers.

“No,” you answer quickly – too quickly. “It’s late, and I’m really fine. Are you?”

Tim sighs before answering, “I guess. Isabel called today to tell me she’s going back to rehab. She wants me to come by once a week, act as part of her support plan.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“I enabled Isabel for so many years that I don’t know.”

“You’ll do the right thing, Tim. You always do.”

A memory of last week, when Tim kissed you during a walk on the beach, flashes through your mind. Was that the right thing?

“Or you have too much faith in me,” he argues.

“I think I have just the right amount of faith in you.”

“It’s your turn to pick dinner on Friday.”

You see an opening to pull back and tighten your grip on your phone as you ask, “Actually, can we skip this week? I’m swamped and don’t know if I’ll be able to make it. I’d hate to leave you waiting.”

Tim hesitates before agreeing, “Sure. Just let me know when you’re free. We can do whatever you want.”

“I will,” you reply softly. “I’m getting tired now, though, so goodnight, Tim. And good luck with Isabel and your decision.”

“Yeah, thanks. Goodnight.”

You bite your tongue to keep from saying I love you one last time, and as you set your phone down, actively pulling away from your best friend, you want to call him back and ask if you ever had a chance. Instead, you press your face into your pillow and force yourself to think about other things as you fall asleep.

✯✯✯✯✯

You sit in bed and stare at your phone as your finger hovers over the star beside Tim’s contact. When you remove him from your favorites list, everything will begin to feel real. Just as you lower your finger, your phone buzzes with a text from Tim. Three simple words make your heart pound as you read them.

Call me, please.

You want more information before you decide to call him or not. Distancing yourself will be hard enough without Tim vying for your attention the entire time you pull away. Clicking the star so it disappears, you make the first step in separating your life from Tim Bradford’s.

“Please be the right choice,” you whisper, staring at his contact photo. “I just want you to be happy. Happier than I could make you.”

An hour later, your phone rings, and you send Tim to voicemail. If it is an emergency, he’ll leave a voicemail. With each unanswered call and text, the time between them lengthens. Maybe Tim has already realized you weren’t as important to him as you both seemed to think.

By the end of the first day not talking to Tim, you want to scream and cry simultaneously. It’s hard to lose a friend, but harder to lose the one person you love. Reminding yourself constantly that you’re doing it for Tim and his happiness, you don’t give yourself time to think about how much your decision and the distance are hurting you. You knew Tim would hurt for a while before finding his way back to Isabel, but you weren’t expecting to feel like a piece of your heart had been ripped out. That’s what you get for giving it to Tim without telling him, you suppose.

✯✯✯✯✯

After a sleepless night of tossing and turning, someone knocks on your door as the sun rises over Los Angeles. You roll out of bed and pull a sweatshirt over your head before looking through the peephole. Tim stands on the other side of the door and speaks before you can think about pretending to be gone.

“I know you’re here,” Tim calls. “I don’t have a lot of time, just wanted to check on you before work.”

After you open the door, you look out at him and give him a closed-lip smile. He looks at you like he can see straight through you, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could.

“We made a huge arrest last night and a couple of us are going out tonight to celebrate,” he says instead. “Do you want to come out with us?”

“Uh, no, but thanks for the offer. I’ve got a lot going on right now, and-“

“Like what?”

You tilt your head to the side, wondering what he means.

“What’s got you so busy that you can’t even text me back?”

“I- I don’t want to talk about it right now, Tim,” you say, opting to deflect rather than lie. “But congratulations on the arrest and have fun tonight.”

Tim’s jaw tightens as he nods. You watch as he walks away, wishing you could run after him. As you close your door, you decide that slowly pulling back will not work; if you want to give Tim room to find his way back to Isabel, you must leave him.

Pushing your fist against the closed door, you take a deep breath before walking through your place and gathering everything that reminds you of Tim. After placing it in a box, you shove it into your closet. Next, you turn off the notifications in your phone, so you won’t be tempted to answer when he calls or texts. The hurt of losing Tim worsens with each action as you pull yourself further away from him.

“Please be happy,” you beg as you close the door on your box of memories.

✯✯✯✯✯

“You’re grumpier than usual,” Nolan notices. “I mean- sorry,” he adds quickly.

“Timothy,” Angela calls. “A word?”

“No,” Tim replies.

“Bradford, now.”

Tim rolls his eyes as he stands and walks to her desk. She gestures for him to sit, and while he should feel like a kid in the principal’s office, he feels more like a man being told his wife is divorcing him and having to maintain a brave face even as his heart shatters in his chest.

“What do you want, Lopez?” he asks. “No small talk.”

“I wouldn’t dream of trying with you, Timothy. I want to know what’s up with you and why you’re taking it out on everyone here.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“You’re making it our business by pushing your frustration, or whatever it is you’re dealing with, off onto us. Is it Isabel? I heard she’s back in rehab.”

“No,” Tim answers, scoffing as he leans back. “It’s not Isabel.”

“Is there any chance that part of you still cares about her, and even if you’re lying to me and yourself about it, Isabel still affects you?” Angela asks.

“No, Lopez. I can guarantee that this has nothing to do with Isabel. She asked me to visit her as part of her support plan and I told her I would think about it, but the ‘source of my frustration’ hasn’t even let me do that.”

“Timothy, just tell me what’s bothering you and maybe I can help,” she offers quietly.

Tim stands as he replies, “You can’t. The only one who can help me with this is avoiding me.”

Angela’s brows furrow as she wonders who he could be referring to. Tim is adamant this isn’t about Isabel, but Angela can’t think of anyone else with this level of pull over him.

“Let me know if you change your mind and want to talk, Tim.”

“Will do,” he answers, though he and Angela know it’s a lie.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Isabel!” Tim calls, jogging to catch up to her. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she replies, hugging him quickly. “I thought you were going to call my sponsor with your decision.”

“I was, and I did. But I also wanted to let you know, in person, that I can’t be part of your support plan. At least, not right now, not after everything I did over the last few years.”

Isabel nods as she guesses, “You feel partially responsible and don’t want to risk letting me fall back into my old ways. I get it, Tim, but thanks for considering it.”

Tim nods, and Isabel can tell something is bothering him.

“You want to stay? Talk for a bit?” she asks.

“I can’t. I’ve got a work thing,” he replies. “Thank you, though, and good luck with everything. I’ll be back by when I have some time.”

“Tim,” Isabel interjects, wrapping her hand around his forearm. “I recognize that look. I only saw it once, and it didn’t turn out well for me. Whatever it is you want to say to whoever it is, just say it.”

“I don’t know how,” Tim admits.

“My take: if she’s important enough to affect you like this, you’ll find a way to let her know what you’re feeling.”

“What if she doesn’t care, Isabel?”

“I can’t tell you what to do, Tim, but I can tell you that waiting too long doesn’t make things any easier… I have to go, I’ve got a group meeting, but, Tim, what’s worth the risk: saying something or keeping it quiet until it’s too late?”

Tim nods before he waves as Isabel turns toward another building. Tim texts Nolan that won't be at the celebratory gathering while he walks to his truck. He knows where he needs to go but doesn’t know how to deal with everything once he gets there. Hopefully, seeing you will give him the right words to say.

✯✯✯✯✯

You broke your heart trying to let Tim be happy and keep yourself from getting hurt in the fallout of losing him. Your house seems bare, every picture and memory of Tim tucked away in a failed attempt to keep your mind off him. A knock draws you out of your miserable reverie. Whoever it is knocks again when you leave it unanswered, the sound harsher and louder than the first time. 

“Coming!” you call.

You open the door without thinking and are surprised to see Tim standing on the other side.

“Can I come in?” he asks in response to your stunned silence.

Say no, your mind says, but your heart makes you step back and invite him inside again. Pushing him away the second time will be much worse, but you can’t seem to stay away from Tim.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Tim says.

He leans against your kitchen counter with his arms crossed, waiting for an explanation you don’t want to give. The whole point of making room for him and Isabel to reconcile (like he wants) was for Tim to figure it out himself.

“Ready for what?” you ask defensively.

Tim shakes his head and scoffs as he tightens his arms over his chest. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? After everything we’ve been through together, you really expect to avoid me without an explanation or question?”

“Everything we’ve been through?” you repeat incredulously. “We’re friends, Tim. Friends stop hanging out when one of them gets busy.”

“Oh, now we’re friends? Were we friends when you crawled into my bed three weeks ago, or when we were making out on the beach? Because that didn’t feel very friendly,” he snaps.

“No, we weren’t friends; I was just a woman who made a mistake,” you reply.

“Am I your friend or am I a mistake?” Tim demands. “Because you can’t seem to keep your story straight. It’s a simple question: why are you avoiding me?”

“If I’m such a bad friend, why does it matter, Tim?”

Tim pushes off the counter, stepping toward you. His jaw clenches, and his biceps flex as he raises his arms in question. You would kiss him any other time, but right now, you’re angry that he can’t just trust you are busy. Granted, it is a lie, but you don’t appreciate the accusation, which is likely your emotions talking.

“I’m not answering your question unless you answer mine,” he says.

“Then I guess we’re not going anywhere.”

Tim looks up at the ceiling before asking, “Why?”

“I’m not going to stand here and argue with you all night. If you think I’m a liar, just say it, Tim!”

“Well, you are the one keeping secrets.”

“So, what, you think I’m avoiding you? Then get out and let me!” you demand.

“And go where? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not surrounded by friends, and I thought you were one of the few I had, but I can see now that I made a mistake.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry that your precious, perfect little world decided to turn you into this,” Tim seethes, looking into your eyes as he steps toward the door.

You move with him, chest to chest, as you yell, “And I’m sorry that you couldn’t figure out I love you enough to let you go back to Isabel!”

Tim falls silent, and your chest heaves with anger. You realize what you admitted, drop your gaze to Tim’s chest, and lick your lips before lowering your voice to speak again.

“Maybe I was stupid for chasing after you when I knew you weren’t interested, that your heart would always be with someone else. I thought that someday you’d realize that everything I’ve done over the last few years has been for you; I’ve been chasing you just to find out that I never had a chance.”

“I don’t want to go back to Isabel,” Tim says after a moment of tense silence. “I went to see her today to tell her that I couldn’t be there for her anymore. If I’ve been acting different, chasing after someone, it’s because I’m falling for you.”

“You don’t fall,” you argue quietly.

“You deserve better,” Tim adds. “I don’t remember what it’s like to share my life with someone who cares about me and wants the same thing.”

You nod and try to step back, but Tim moves with you. The couch is right behind you, and you have nowhere to go, so you look into Tim’s eyes.

“I am not in love with Isabel,” Tim repeats. “You really started avoiding me because you thought I was?”

“What else was I supposed to do?”

“You could have asked instead of forcing me to start a yelling match for answers,” Tim replies, his lips quirking up into a small smile.

“I want you to be happy, Tim,” you explain. “And I thought that couldn’t happen if I was in the way.”

“You’re not in the way. You’re exactly where I want you.”

“Where is that?” you ask, leaning toward Tim.

“Right in the middle of my life.”

You raise your arms over Tim’s shoulders, smiling as his hands meet your waist. Tim pushes you against the back of the couch as he kisses you. He moves a hand up to cradle your head as you move with him. This kiss differs from the others; there is a need for more, an apology, and love coursing through you and Tim. Tim pulls back, and you pant for air as he places his hands on either side of your hips and leans forward.

“Just talk to me next time, would you?” he requests.

“And miss out on this? No way,” you argue.

“Don’t seem so excited about getting to yell at me for so long.”

 “You’ve never kissed me like that before,” you say before you distract Tim by moving your hands to his chest.

“You’ve never told me you love me before today.”

“Sorry I had to avoid you for a while to confess it.”

“Maybe we can do it again soon, without the insults before.”

“I don’t know,” you muse. “Insults and yelling are kind of your thing.”

Tim cuts you off, kissing you again and tipping you over the back of the couch. You laugh as he catches himself and hovers over you.

“I love you too, even though you were too blind to see I felt the same,” Tim whispers.

[sordidmusings]

do you think mihawk would go through the 7 stages of grief when he catches feelings for someone or would he be a self-aware king and just shrug and accept it?

On a scale from One to Death, how pained is Mihawk about falling in love?

Pairing: Mihawk x GN Reader

Form this took: non-bulleted headcanon!

Word Count: ~730

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

Mihawk actually continually creates new stages of grief in his unmoving stance to Pretend Everything’s Fine.

He’s not in love with you, he just has every bit of info on your likes, dislikes, and stories tucked away in his memory for convenience. He didn’t even consciously decide to do that actually. It’s just a fluke or maybe it was because it’s all such easy info to remember; it’s certainly not because all that information has special importance. It’s most definitely not because you look at him with such joy and gratitude every time you realize that he’s remembered something about you. Nor is it how beautifully his heart aches when your face glows with appreciation and affection for him.

He’s helping you out because your skills are disappointing, not because he sees you as a being of boundless potential. It has nothing to do with the pride he finds in each stride you make, whether by his guiding or your own breakthroughs. Nothing at all to do with how, day by day, he finds it more precious to watch you grow than the beloved gardens surrounding his castle.

His restlessness and temper when you’re gone are only because he has to take over all the tasks you do at the castle. Of course he’s not happy having unnecessary things out back on his plate, it was so much better being able to hand off half of those so he has time for the things that are important. Like swordsmanship and your shared hours to end each day. He doesn’t miss you bugging him all of the time; he can take care of himself without your drop ins to bring him water and snacks, or calls that dinner’s ready, or excited recommendations for books he always ends up enjoying, or observations on all the inane things around you (he obviously sees everything and it’s not better sharing them and a present existence with you, nope), or the rare occasions you speak your worry for his dour and lonely life that cut right to the heart of him. Those are what he misses the absolute least; he’s used to being called cold and heartless and alone, he doesn’t need you saying it but worse - noticing the heartlessness is unfortunately a lie, that there’s been something raw and painful festering in him for years, kept far from where anyone can touch and exhausting him of life’s pretenses.

He has no hope that you could possibly help fix that (just as much as you’re a balm for that wound, closeness to you rips it wide open).

There will have to be some change to your routine dancing around each other for him to accept his feelings for you and become that self-aware king instead of the willfully-ignorant peasant. This could be a threat of you leaving, likely not in you giving him that ultimatum but in more gradual ways that circumstance usually does. Maybe you begin to get into your head that he’ll never have feelings for you, and in your acceptance of that you begin to seek other hearts to share. Maybe you run from the depths of your own emotions for him, slowly shifting your life to be less and less at the castle, seeking opportunities that will take you to further seas.

Or maybe life does throw you both a much more drastic cause for change - an explosive argument when you seek a new love, or you unloading all your worry for him and fears that he is heartless while he’s frozen stiff, or him knowing the deep fear of not having you in his life in any capacity when your life is almost taken. Regardless of the cause, once he does acknowledge his feelings, he will absolutely act on it. He is a man of drive and dedication after all.

Now Mihawk is a lucky son of a bitch because it is very likely that you don’t know for a fact he has any interest in you until the Cool and Confident stage kicks in. He’d be mortified if you ever found out how desperately he tried to patch the dam in him that barely kept his overflowing interest, affection, and adoration at bay.

I hope you do find out because that needs to be held over his head for the rest of his life and then some 👌🏻

~ ~ ~ ••• ✦✦✦ ••• ~ ~ ~

For my lil milestone celebration here 🤍 come ask!

Thank you for your question anon❣️ the phrasing had me cackling it was too good 💀 I hope you enjoyed!! Sending love and hugs

[haykawas]

✩•̩̩͙*˚ UNREQUITED ROUTE

this is one of the possible endings to a story! lost yourself? begin here! You've chosen to proceed with our favorite long haired beauty! You love to hurt yourself, don't you? Enjoy <3 – wc : 4.4k

It’s Suguru.

You don’t acknowledge his presence, and instead just try to quicken your pace so you can get home faster. It’s a good thing you live so close to his house, because it’s freezing and you’re only wearing a shirt.

You’re fumbling with the keys of your apartment, your hands trembling when you hear him clearing his throat a few steps down. You can clearly imagine the expression that would be etched on his face if you were to turn around and take a look at him.

Annoyance, impatience, confusion even. And he would be right to feel that way.

The click of the lock echoes in the dead of night, and you immediately try to shut the door to block out everything. 

But Suguru’s foot shoots out, wedging between the door and the frame and preventing it from closing completely.

“Are you going to hear me out, now? Or do I need to blow down your door?” He asks with a slight frown.

“What more is there to say? It looked pretty clear to me.”

“So running out was the best option to you? At least hear him out.”

“Why are you always so optimistic? He doesn’t like me, Sugu’, end of story! Can you leave me now so I can go cry in my bed, or is it too much to ask?” You exclaim, and the look in his eyes tells you he won’t be letting this go anytime soon.

“Alright, fine, I give up. Do whatever you want.” You let out a frustrated groan, releasing the door so he can get inside. He closes the door behind him and follows you to your room, but you act as if he isn’t there.

“I think you should get back.”

You press your lips in a thin line, ignoring him even as he keeps following you like your shadow.

Irritated, you finally turn back to face him, a mix of frustration and anguish on your face. “You know what I think? That he would be there if he cared like you said, but is he?” You ask, voice laced with the weight of disappointment and hurt. “Why are you here when he’s not, Suguru?”

You feel like you know the answer before you’ve even asked the question. And he knows you do too. Yet you refuse to open your eyes and see what’s been in front of you the whole time.

“Because I care about you!” He blurts out. “I care, alright? Even if you have a hard time believing it.” His words hang in the air, and you can’t ignore the way your heart skips a bit at his admission.

“I know you do.” You reply softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Because you do know. When Suguru cares, he cares deeply. You always felt like he constantly tried to protect you from whatever came your way, and the realization makes your chest tighten.

“Now that’s the thing, I don’t really think you do.” He lets out a humorless laugh. “God, sometimes I just…” He trails off, the hesitance shining in his eyes reflecting the vulnerability of what he’s trying to tell you. 

“I just wish you looked at me the same way you look at him.” He breathes out.

And you don’t know if it’s the way he looks at you that prompts this reaction out of you, or something else entirely, but you can suddenly feel the need to get closer, to feel the heat radiating off his skin and smell the scent of his perfume.

You’re torn, you don’t know what to say to him nor do you really know what he’s trying to tell you. – Yet you do.

And as his stray locks brush against your shoulder, making your skin tickle, a strange sense of intimacy unfurls between you.

You both know it’s wrong. So why are you leaning forward, wondering what his lips would taste like against yours?

Yet Suguru moves away before it can happen, and he takes a few steps back. You can’t help but feel disappointed.

“We can’t do this.” He says, just like you knew he would. He’s right, and you know that. Yet you want payback, you want to hurt Satoru as much as he’s hurt you all this time. It’s stupid, and petty. You don’t care.

You scoff. “Oh, we can’t now?”

“I can’t do this to Satoru.” To you. 

Your laugh is bitter, “Ah, Satoru. Well, considering what just happened, I think he’ll be fine.”

He whispers your name, pleading, almost begging, and your heart clenches at the sound. “You’re upset, it wouldn’t be right. Wouldn’t feel right.” He adds, but he’s lying through his teeth, — Anything would always feel right if it was with you.

You turn your head toward Suguru, locking eyes with him, “You’re really gonna make me say it?”

You lick your lips, and Suguru’s eyes can’t help but flicker up and down at the motion, before swiftly looking away, almost in shame. “Make you say what?”

“That I want you, Suguru.” You plead, “I need you.” His gaze flicks back to yours, and you can feel his hesitance. It’s thick like butter, but so is the tension between you. So you step forward, slowly as to not startle him, because you’re scared he’ll disappear if you aren’t careful enough. You add, your voice a little raw, “Please.”

It’s the last straw. 

Something breaks inside of him. 

Because he has you there before him, telling him you crave him, practically begging for him to do something about it. And Suguru tries, he desperately does. He tries so hard to hold back, because you’re in love with his best friend, and he’s practically sure Satoru might also have a thing for you — although he’s been pretty shitty at showing it. 

But you’re there. You’re real, and you’re so, so close. You’re looking up at him with lidded eyes, and you’re so beautiful he feels himself blush. 

He knows that if he starts this, and does as much as lift a finger, he won’t be able to stop. And you know that, because eyes don’t lie. You see the little restraint he had falter and crumble, like a card castle in the wind. 

The way he looks at you is unhinged, almost primal, and it’s making you dizzy. It’s like he’s peering inside of you, probing at every corner of your soul and seeing the deepest parts of you, waiting for the right moment to pounce.

He’s the Apex predator, and you’re prey.

It’s dangerous. You can’t get enough of it.

“Yeah?” He says, and the way his voice drops down an octave makes your heart quake. “You want me?”

Yeah. Your lips part to answer his plea, but your breath catches in your throat when you see him walk up the rest of the distance to you, his deft fingers rising to his ponytail to yank out his hair tie, freeing his long hair. It cascades down his back, and you feel it tickle the side of your neck when his mouth finally meets yours. He swallows the words you want to say, sucks them out of you with the swipe of his tongue and the bite of his teeth. You gasp in surprise, your fingers trembling as they instantly find him, and you harshly tug on his shirt to pull him closer. 

And oh, how his lips are sweet. They taste like honey and sugar, so exquisite you feel yourself drown in the depths of him. His distinctive scent of rose and sandalwood invades your senses and you drink him in like a parched traveler.

If someone had told you this would happen, that you would be here, kissing Suguru Geto of all people, you would have just laughed in their faces. He’s always been your best friend, one unlike Satoru was to you. While Suguru was more like earth — calm and grounding, warmhearted and dependable, Satoru was like ice — impulsive and passionate, carefree and unpredictable. While Satoru was like an adventure, Suguru felt more like home.

You’ve always seen him as nothing more than one of your best friends, your brother from another mother, but now?

Now he’s undoubtedly there, holding you, kissing your lips with so much hunger you feel like you might fall apart under him. 

“Make me forget, please.” That’s all you can say when you finally part, out of breath, your chest heaving heavily. 

It’s all in the eyes. It’s always been this way with Suguru, and you’ve learned to read him like an open book with time. It’s there, hiding behind his chocolate hues, this bundle of emotions he’s been suppressing for so long that is now threatening to crack, break, and spill out all over the place without restraint.

And it is raw.

He wants to eat you alive. And if this is the way he simply looks at you, you can’t help wondering what he’s even thinking about you. 

His gaze is like a drug. It is so needy, so desperate you feel goosebumps rise on your skin. It is undeniably making you shy despite your eagerness, but it feels so good. 

You feel seen.

Even though he might seem in control to the foreign eye, that’s not quite the case. Suguru’s eager and greedy, he’s kissing you like a starving man, but his body cannot lie. Not to you. 

Never to you.

It shows in the way he complies and obeys your every whim like it’s easier to do so than it is breathing. In the way he shivers when you do so much as rap your nails against his back, and kiss your way down to his neck.

You are in charge, and he lets you be. He likes it that way.

He lets himself fall on the mattress, pulling you down with him and gripping your thighs as you settle down on his lap. His breath hitches in his throat and he has to hold you in place before your squirming causes an unwanted accident.

The sounds he makes prompt a smile out of you, and you take a moment to detail him. He’s sprawled on the bed, his long black hair spread on the sheets and framing his face so beautifully.

His plump lips are slightly parted, and his naked chest slowly rises and falls to the rhythm of his breathing. And under the moonlight, you swear he looks like an angel.

But you don’t need an angel now. You need your best friend to rise, grab your neck and  ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶  – fuck you senseless. So you go for it. You lean down and reach out to grip his collar, and he has to prop himself up on one elbow to keep up with you.

“Will you, Suguru?” You bat your eyelashes at him, and he swoons, “Make me forget?”

His face is a few inches away from yours, his hair disheveled as he looks up at you through his eyelashes — he is so close they tickle you when he blinks.

“Anything.” He whispers tenderly, as if breaking character for a moment, “Anything for you.”

And he means it. Although you can’t possibly know that, Suguru has always been yours, and he’ll always be as long as you’ll have him. But you’ve always been Satoru’s.

He’s long accepted that fact.

Your hand moves to rest against his cheek, while the other desperately fists the fabric of his shirt to bring him even closer. He’s still looking up at you, your position giving you the advantage, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Kiss me again — like you mean it.” He implores and you comply. You do not have it in you to deny him when he looks so desperate for you. He immediately angles his head so you can kiss him better, and the scrape of your teeth against his bottom lip prompts a groan out of him.

The way you make him feel drives him insane, and he’s utterly ashamed of the amount of power you hold over him without even being aware of it. Suguru feels like a virgin all over again, with the way the simple brush of your fingers makes his heart jump, and his body shiver. He’s daydreamed about this moment for so long to the point it almost feels natural to be with you like this, and he’s afraid it might be his mind playing tricks on him. It’s selfish, but it feels so good. It’s like scratching an itch that’s been bothering him for years. He feels alive. He’s never experienced anything like it, and it scares him. 

But you know nothing of his inner turmoil, and while he’s focused on the way his heart soars, you’re more focused on the sensations and the pleasure it’s bringing you. On the way you can feel your mind slowly ease as he keeps worshipping your body.

You don’t care that you’re using each other. You want him, and he wants you. It doesn’t matter that you still have Satoru on your mind when it’s his friend, your other best friend, who is under you. It doesn’t matter to Suguru either, because it’s him with you, him that is making you gasp and squirm under his touch. 

It is enough for him – he has never thought he would get there with you in the first place. 

Your hands are busy as you fumble with the last buttons of his shirt, having just discarded yours on the floor, and Suguru can see how eager you are.

“Fuck,” He swears, but his voice remains soft as he gazes at you, detailing your almost naked form. His eyes find yours again, and they’re sparkling with an emotion you don’t seem to recognize. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He smiles at the way you turn your head, breaking eye contact with an impish smile. You’re flustered.

How cute.

And this moment is perfect. It’s perfect and yet, he has to ask. Before you go further and completely free him from his pants, your hands making quick work of his belt, he has to know that you’re as sure about this as he is. 

He doesn’t think he could bear seeing the regret on your face come morning. The disappointment in your eyes when you would wake up, only to find him and not his friend in your bed. 

It would destroy him. It would destroy you, and everything in between.

So as difficult as it is, he halts you with a finger on your lips when you lean in for another kiss. 

He asks, “Are you sure you want this?” 

It is innocent and full of good intentions – and you know it is in the way he strokes your cheek with care, his eyes giving you his undivided attention. 

Yet you’re stupid and frustrated, and your heart aches so badly you just need someone to make it stop. So you can’t help but scoff, and say, “It’s like you want me to crawl back to him.”

The look he gives you makes you want to crawl into a hole, and you immediately want to take it back. 

Because if there is one thing Suguru doesn’t want, it is seeing you desperatly running after his best friend the day after you’ve shared all of this. After he got to taste your lips and map out the curves of your body.

Gone are the caring gaze and the gentle touch – his eyes darken considerably, the hand that has been caressing the skin of your thigh ever so softly tightens around it, and it’s sure to leave imprints by the time you two are done. You can tell by the way the muscles of his jaw clench that he is pissed. Your heart thuds in your ears.

You are not used to this version of your best friend.

You can’t say you dislike it.

You wince at the way he says your name. Slowly, voice soft as it always is. Yet it’s different this time. It’s fueled with new emotions – frustration, annoyance, jealousy. 

And oh, it looks so good on him, you can’t help but smirk.

That is your second mistake.

“Do you think it’s a game?”

Your smile falters, and you can’t seem to hold eye contact. Your cheeks flame, body tensing with apprehension. You lick your lips, wanting to answer honestly, but your brain feels too full of static for any sense to come out of you.

What isn’t a game? You think, but nothing comes out of your mouth. Your brain gives out and abandons you, like it sensed a predator too strong for him to defeat.

You feel chills run down your spine. A mad Suguru is an uncharted territory, that is undeniable, as he’s always been the reasonable one of your little trio of friends.

Suguru grabs your jaw so he can look you in the eyes, and growls, “Look at me.” There’s something like a warning in his tone, and you hate the fact that you absolutely love it. 

He just stares at you, and you want to squirm. Your cheeks are hot, and he can definitely feel your excitement. It’s seeping through your underwear, and it’s obvious you feel self-conscious about it in the way you try to squeeze your thighs together, worried he might uncover your secret. 

You seem to forget he knows you by heart.

“You want to forget? I’ll make you forget everything.” He pulls you further into his lap, and  the hand cradling your thigh slightly tightens, while the other one reaches into your hair. 

“I’ll make you forget his name.” He kisses you, hard and deep as the hand on your thigh rises ever so slightly to rub circles on the sensitive flesh. 

“The color of his eyes.” He nips at your skin, tentatively licking and sucking on your neck, just below your jaw, and you can’t help but whimper. Your head instinctively lulls to the side to grant him access—  And you can’t think, you don’t need to when he’s willing to do it for you. He knows what you’re thinking, what you want. What you like.

After all, you’re best friends. And best friends know best.

He would take all of your pain away, if you would just trust him.

“The sound of his voice.”

The pressure of his hand leaves imprints, all of which make their presence known the minute he pulls back. You whine at the loss, wanting to grab his hand and drag it back, but he’s got something else in mind.

Your voice is lost as he steals your breath, his words still ringing through your mind as he slowly moves down, kissing your throat, your collarbones, your chest.

You arch your back. It feels good, but this isn’t enough. Greed possesses you, clouds your mind entirely and makes you want everything all at once. His movements are slow but deliberate, and you quickly realize what he’s doing. You want more, you want him everywhere, and he’s making you wait for it.

He is teasing you. He is torturing you for having the audacity of bringing up the man you’re in love with in a moment so intimate, so pure. For making him ache for you when he knows your heart will never beat for him the same way it does for Satoru.

You can’t blame him. It doesn’t mean you can’t retaliate, though. In a surge of confidence, your eyes snap open, and you fist his hair with one hand to pull his mouth back to yours, hard. You decide he won’t get to mess with you, play you like an instrument, as you start grinding on him. And it’s hard, it’s throbbing beneath you, unlike anything you’ve ever felt.

Suguru doesn’t let your game last, though. He grabs you by the waist, lifting you to throw you on the mattress. Your back arches as you fall on the sheets, and he swiftly gets ahold of your wrists to pin them above your head. You gasp as he climbs over you, and your eyes meet his only to find him grinning at you.

He’s enjoying this way too much, it seems. You want to wipe that smirk off his face. – But you cannot deny his smile warms your heart.

His hand runs over your ribs, your thighs, until it stops at your lower belly. It is clear he is taking his sweet time, and although he doesn’t say a word, his silence speaks volumes. His eyes speak to you, telling you to beg. Ordering you to.

You do. You give in, pleading for him to touch you, to give you a taste of him like nothing else he’s ever gifted you with. 

Satoru’s always said that Suguru’s love language was physical touch, and you’ve never believed that. That’s when you change your mind.

In one swift motion, his fingers slip under the waistband of your pants, and he enters you with one, then two broad fingers. You are impossibly drenched. So much that they slip easily, so quickly you can’t help but let out a strangled cry at the sensation.

You whimper against his shoulder, and you wish you could just reach out and grab onto him. Instead, you strain against his grip, hips desperately bucking against his hand. 

Everything becomes about Suguru. About his smell, his touch, his voice.

His voice is but a murmur, it is saccharine when he whispers in your ear, his lips brushing your lobe, “Did you forget already? The way your heart beats faster when he’s in the room?” He rhythms his questions with quick thrusts, curling his digits so that they hit your sensitive spot. Your arousal pools over his palm, and the sound of your squelching makes him even harder.

“I’ll ruin you until he’s nothing more than a fleeting memory.” He growls, and the sound has you mewling and clenching your thighs.

That’s when you feel it rise inside of you. It rises and spills out, and suddenly he’s all you can think about.

You’re drowning in your essence, coloring the sheets a shade darker and it is all because of him. He releases your arms and lifts you easily, pulling you on his lap once again.

Finally.

Your legs slide up, clinging to his waist as he shrugs down the last piece of clothing that still separates the two of you. It springs out, free, hard, and pulsing, and your mouth waters at the sight.

It is burning hot, pink, and throbbing and you’ve never noticed how beautiful your best friend was until now.

You bite your lower lip, eyes wandering over his face. You nod into his chest when he silently asks you if it’s okay, and of course he does. He’s always been so gentle.

Your fingers bury themselves in his locks, fisting his hair when he finally lines up with your entrance and fills you full of him, and your teeth bite his shoulder at the intrusion. It is sure to leave a mark, – he wants it to. 

He’s burning his way inside of you, marking you up from the inside, and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this full. He pulls you taunt against him, hauling you up by your thighs and thrusting hard and slow like he’s disciplining you. He holds eye contact, of course he does, and although his movements may be harsh, his eyes… His eyes are so gentle, so full of…. 

No.

You mentally laugh at yourself. You’re dreaming, he could never… 

You cry out a moan when he hits the spot, and processes to abuse it repeatedly. He takes you like you’ve never been before, it feels so… Different. The fact it is Suguru you’re sleeping with makes all the difference. Everyone knows how close the two of you are, how complementary, and even Satoru keeps saying how you two are so much alike. You used to think he was exaggerating.

You’re not so sure he was, with the way Suguru seems to know what you need before you even formulate the thought.

Yet he’s always known. He knows what you like and dislike, what you want and don’t want.

He knows which expressions you make when you’re happy, sad. When you’re excited.

And now, he even knows what you look like when you’re close. Your lips are parted, your eyes a little glassy, and with the way you clench around him he has to do mental sports to not burst inside you.

You’re driving him insane. 

And while you’re bouncing on him, his hand starts rubbing at your clit, the combination turning you into a blabbering mess. It’s all too much. Your foreheads are pressed together, your hand still buried into Suguru’s hair and you close your eyes when your whimpers turn into full-blown wails. He pulls you into a deep kiss and swallows your moans as you burst.

He feels it coming too, and you see it. You nod at him, giving him your okay to come within you, to paint you with the white of his release and the red of his bleeding heart.

Yet he objects and pulls out before it happens. You’re confused, he sees that, – but you’re still in a daze. 

He won’t allow his feelings to take this away from you. Maybe someday, in another universe, he would allow himself to finish with you, to paint you with his colors like you did with yours.

Maybe on the day you’ll finally be his and his only, on the day he won’t have to be ashamed of feeling so strongly toward his best friend. This isn’t the day.

And when you go back to your senses, you can only see him looking at you with a smirk. It seems forced, a little sad even. But maybe it’s just your daze that is making you see things that aren’t there.

And just like that, he asks, “So, what color?”

“Hm?”

“What color are Satoru’s eyes, sweetheart?”

“I…I…” You try to pull yourself back to reality, but you cannot do it. You can’t seem to remember the color of your best friend’s eyes.

Suguru grins, and his voice sends a tingle down your spine when he says, “Good girl.”

Satoru Gojo 1 - Suguru Geto 1. Now, they are even.

So, are you happy to have ruined your chances with the love of your life? Or did you really?

secret route (coming soon!)

beautiful evil man with long hair save me

rbs are much appreciated <3

[movidita]

part one here!!

The next morning you’d woken up with a slight headache. An unfamiliar buzz present in your head all morning.

Luckily, you managed to pretend you were fine.

Your father and sisters unaware of your night— well besides Maggie. You had to tell her! Can’t keep secrets from the sister after all.

Plus she had figured out where you had disappeared to for hours the previous day, completely aware of your lust for the older men currently residing on your father’s property.

Maggie’d never out you. Especially not after you caught her with Glenn merely two days ago. Your secret was safe.

It was now noon. Your headache had sort of faded and you were good enough that you could complete your chores.

Laundry hamper at your hip as your cowboy boots patted against the grass. Making your way towards the washing line. The one purposely close to Daryl’s set-up. His tent and a few other items of his scattered between the trees. Between the trees you planned on hanging your laundry up on.

You spotted him before he spotted you. Sitting on a log, doing God knows with his cross-bow, that wasn’t what you were interested in.

The second he could hear your footsteps he looked up.

In all honesty, he was surprised to see you today. At least not until later. He thought you’d still be in bed, milking your hangover.

Daryl gave you a quick nod of acknowledgement, “You alright? Didn’t think you’d be up yet.”

Smiling sweetly at the man and dropping your washing basket beside him. “I’m alright, feel all better now.”

It wasn’t an entire lie. You did feel much better from how you previously did this morning. There was just a dull ache in the back of your head.

Picking up an item of clothing and pins. Going up onto your tippy-toes so you can correctly hang the damp shirt up.

The man averted his gaze when the wind picked up and your dress began to flow in the breeze. Revealing a little too much of your thighs and the teeny tiniest bit of your bottom, just barely covered by your panties.

He cleared his throat, drawing his focus back to his crossbow.

“You have some water? Medicine?”

“Mhm.” You nod, pining another shirt up on the line.

It’s silent for a few moments. Just the occasional grunt from Daryl and the gentle zephyr.

That was until you plucked an item from your hamper, a matching bra and underwear set. All pretty and pink and lace. Bows and everything.

His eyes flickered between your figure and the pair of panties you were hanging up.

Daryl stood up behind you. So incredibly close. His chest flush with your back.

You spin around at the sudden shadow looming over you and beam at the man. Eyelashes fluttering against the apple of your rosy cheeks.

“You’re a tease, you know that.” His lips brush up against the crown of your head.

He smirked as he watched your face turn into a slight red.

“Whatever do you mean?” You innocently questioned, acting like you didn’t come out here with the intention of exactly that. To tease him.

You lifted your head to meet his, lips brushing up against his.

The man’s hand reached up to cup the nape of your neck, pulling you in closer.

“Walking around in these,” He tugged on the hem of your dress. “That stupid smile on your face. Think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?”

You shrugged. Acting completely oblivious.

Just as you were about to press your lips to his. A call of your name startled you both. Beth. You had told her you’d be out to help her with the horses in ten minutes. Apparently, ten minutes had passed.

Both of you backed away from each other, almost stumbling over your now empty laundry hamper. Thankfully catching your footing before you could.

Hauling the basket back onto your hip and following after Beth’s call.

Leaving the man and growing tent in his pants all alone.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[taintedtort]

prompt ✧ you don’t say i love you back

characters ✧ xiao, wanderer

warnings ✧ gn!reader, none!

a/n ✧ my app is finally fixed, so here’s this. it’s one of my fav prompts! (might do this again with more characters, i wanted to get a work out cus it’s been a week since i’ve posted)

XIAO

✧ didn’t even notice the first time

"i have to go, i love you."

he mumbled the loving phrase to you before vanishing, not even giving you time to say it back. you shrugged it off and decided to keep your plan going a little bit longer, just to see what his reaction would be if he did catch on.

after he finally arrived back at the inn and entered your room, you greeted him with a smile. it was late so you were already in bed ready to sleep, so he fell onto the bed next to you with a grunt. you’d made it clear to him in the past that you prefer he sleep with you, so he tries is best to at least be in the bed while you fall asleep.

you asked him how his day went and he gave you the same run down he always did. he didn’t let you chat with him for too long though, insisting you go to sleep so your mortal body can get the rest it needs.

after the lights were turned out and you were both under the covers, he muttered the phrase to you once more. you hummed in acknowledgment, a small smirk playing on your lips. you didn’t hear from him after that, so you fell asleep.

when you woke up, he was sitting at the end of the bed, staring off into space. you nudged him with your foot, letting him know you were awake. he turned to look at you with a furrowed brow and a frown on his lips.

"i love you."

he delivered the words accusingly, like he was calling you out on not saying it last night. you knew you’d been caught, but kept your game going anyway. you nodded at his words before stretching your tired limbs out. you saw his face drop further at your lack of response, making you fight the smile that threatened to spread across your own.

he stood up from the bed, causing you to sit up as well. you were nervous that you made him upset, but he circled back around to your side of the bed.

once he reached you, he grabbed your jaw in his hand, making you look up at him. a confused mutter of his name left your lips.

"i love you."

he said it more firmly that time, his eyes boring into yours. butterflies filled your stomach and your lips parted. you mumbled it back that time, not being able to continue your prank.

once he heard the words leave your mouth, he bent down and kissed you. after he pulled away, you giggled at him, explaining it was only a joke and you didn’t think he’d get that worked up about it. your confession made his ears warm as he turned away from you.

"do all mortals act this way or is it just you?"

WANDERER

✧ thought you didn’t hear him

he‘d just gotten back from a long and grueling adventure, completely wiped out. you, of course, were there to help him relax and unwind from his stressful day. so, there he lay, his head in your lap with the rest of his body spread out over the far end of the couch. his eyes were closed, but he wasn’t sleeping yet, just relishing in the feeling of your fingers on his scalp.

you heard him quietly mumble a thank you followed with an even quieter declaration of love. you hummed at him, not responding to his words. you did not expect his eyes to snap open though.

"did you hear me?"

he was staring up at you blankly, no look of hurt or anger on his face. however, when you nodded a frown appeared.

"are you sure? what did i say?"

you must’ve heard him wrong— there’s no way. you always say i love you back. you know how hard it is for him to verbally communicate his feelings, so he knows you must’ve just not heard him.

when you repeated his words back to him, he felt his heart drop a little. so you had heard him. he didn’t want to let you see his insecurities, so he deflected.

"and? say it back."

he saw the ghost of a smile appear on your face at his words and instantly knew everything was fine, you were just being difficult. you seriously scared him!

when you stayed silent, a deeper frown formed on his face and his brows furrowed. he was laying on his back staring up at you, causing his bangs to fall to the side and show his forehead. that, mixed with his expression, was too cute. you couldn’t help but fall into suppressed laughter.

at the sound of your laughing, he sat up off your lap, annoyance radiating off him. a laugh filled gasp of his name left your lips as you grasped onto his shoulder. you apologized through giggles and finally told him you loved him back, then sealed your words with a kiss to his cheek.

he grumbled about how infuriating you are, but settled back into his spot on your lap.

"that was so pointless, just say it back."

[actuallysaiyan]

We Can Do Whatever You Want To Do(Ishida Uryu x Fem!Reader)

warnings: smut, handjob, talk about virginity, kissing, alcohol, semi-public sex, Uryu and Reader are in University word count: 1.3k pairings: Uryu Ishida x Fem!Reader summary: you and Uryu are in the same classes in university and you thought at first his arrogance and attitude pissed you off, but it turns you on. taglist: @beneathstarryskies. @seireiteihellbutterfly @misty-angerose. @yeowangies a/n: My first time writing Uryu, so I hope it's good <3

You met him when you were in your first year of university. Whispers of his academic excellence and many scholarships due to his achievements follow him around, though he doesn’t show any kind of real reaction to it. You found yourself so intrigued by Uryu.

After a few months of being in the same classes as him and trying to get to know him, you find out that he tends to keep to himself. And  Uryu doesn’t really bother to make too many friends. You’ve noticed some people coming to visit him from time to time, but the relationships he has with them seem deep rooted in something you can’t quite understand.

Even as time continues on, you find yourself way too curious about him. What kind of thing does he  do in his spare time? What kind of interests does he have outside of science and medicine? Did he have a love interest? Has he ever had a girlfriend?

Everything comes to a head when you and Uryu are at the same party. He’s keeping to himself in the corner, talking a little bit to a few people here and there that are in the same class as both of you. You take a drink from your beer and you head over to him.

“Hmm?” he barely acknowledges you, which makes you even more turned on.

“You’re Ishida-san, correct?” you ask him, your stomach doing flips.

He smirks at you, “Yes. Good to know you can recognize your classmates' names.”

That comment has your blood  boiling. How could he say something so rude to you like this? You roll your eyes and finish off your beer. Despite the way he acts, he holds himself with an air of someone who knows it all. Something about this suggests he’s not too lucky in the love and intimacy department. Meaning….he’s probably a virgin despite being in his early twenties.

The next time you meet up with him, it’s at the end of your class for the day. You make your way over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around, towering over you and sports that same smirk as he always does.

“Yes? What is it?”

His tone is just driving you insane, “I was going to ask you to help explain something to me, but honestly if you just want to act like a self-centered jerk,, nevermind.”

Students are walking past you and him, making it seem like there’s just no care in the world for something like this. It’s like you and him aren’t even a part of this student body right now. There’s this tension that grows around the two of you. He takes your hand and pulls you just a little closer. Your heart flutters and your stomach does a flip. Why does he keep making you feel like this? He’s just an asshole classmate.

“Listen, if you really want my help, I’ll help. Just ask nicely.” His tone is authoritative and it makes you want to slap him.

“F-fine…can you help me with today’s lecture?”

He smirks again, “Of course. It was rather easy.”

The urge to push him off you and to just give up on your plan was strong. Yet you followed him into an empty classroom. He sits at the teacher’s desk, opening up his notebook. You close the door and without him noticing, you lock it as well.

Innocently as you can, you make your way up to him. When he looks at you, you flutter your eyelashes flirtatiously. He falters for  a moment,  freezing completely. He’s wondering why you’ve changed your attitude towards him completely, but he finds it endearing that you’re trying to be kinder to him.

What you don’t realize is that you’ve been invading his every thought since that night at the party. He loves the way you take his attitude with a grain of salt. He keeps up these walls for a reason, though he’s ready to tear  down some of his walls to show you his real self.

Suddenly, you’re backing him into the corner. His eyes widen beneath his glasses, his cheeks reddening at the way you’re so close to him. Your actions are so bold and brazen..

“Uryu,” you purr softly in his ear. “You’re a virgin aren’t you?”

His heart skips a beat, “H-huh?”

You laugh, “I know you heard me. Answer the damn question.”

His mouth gets dry as his brain short-circuits. Uryu thought he had really hidden that aspect of his life so well. How could you tell just by being in class with him and the few interactions here and there that he was a virgin? How were you so clever?

He’s about to answer when your lips come crashing down onto his. Your hand drags down his chest to his waist, then down below his belt. You squeeze softly the growing bulge. He moans against your lips. Slowly, you begin palming him through his jeans until he’s rock hard.

“Let me have a little fun, hm? I bet you’ve never even had a handjob before!”

Your words sting and hit him right in the heart. .It was true, he was a virgin and he had never  even kissed before. You were taking a lot of his firsts. He can barely believe his own eyes when you unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His cock is throbbing and twitching. There’s a precum stain on his underwear now.

“Awhh look at that, you have to be  a virgin.” You tease him as you pull down his underwear.

His cock slaps against his lower abdomen as you release it from the cotton confines of his briefs. The thick precum smears against his button-up shirt. You smirk when you gently graze his cock with just your fingertips and he lets out a whimper.

“Oh you’re gonna blow your load so fast, aren’t you?” You taunt him.

He shakes his head, “N-no. Shut up!”

You wrap your fingers around the throbbing length. He’s shuddering as you begin to stroke him. You make sure to go slow. You aren’t convinced that he won’t just pop within seconds. 

“Look at you, trembling and shaking. What a pathetic little virgin you are,”

Your words are turning him on more than he’d like to admit. It’s making him angrier but also his cock keeps throbbing every time you call him a virgin. He’d love to lose his virginity, but he’s so wrapped up in his studies and academic career that he forgets to make meaningful relationships. He just thought he would end up having to marry someone first to lose his virginity.

“Shut up,” he spits at you. “At least—ahhh fuck— ‘least I’m not failing.”

You squeeze his cock a little harder, “I’m not failing. You really think I’m failing? Let me tell you something,”

You lean in closer, and you start to stroke him faster. Your other hand comes down to massage his balls and he knows he’s done for now. His eyes roll back in his head and his knees begin to buckle. It’s all too much.

“The only reason I asked for your help today was because I wanted to jerk off your cock. You got that?”

He can’t even reply. You’ve rendered him into a blubbering and whimpering mess. His glasses are all fogged up that he can barely make out the blur that’s your fist stroking his cock. You tug on his balls ever so gently and that’s all it takes for him to fall off the edge.

“Fuck! Fuck I—I’m cumming!”

His hips begin to buck up into your hand, spurts of thick cum beginning to coat your fist and the bottom of your shirt. You smirk as you help him through his high. Then you slow down your pace, but never stopping it.

“Listen to me,” you begin. “If you wanna fuck this pussy, you’re going to have to be a lot nicer to me. Got it?”

He nods his head, “Yes, yes…I’ll be nicer.”

And that’s how you ended up with Uryu’s balls in the palm of your hand.

[bryngmemoney]

✁FASHION FLIRT✃

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

⭑story masterlist link

tw:none

Writing in between messages!!

🪡Chapter Thirty: Sleepover

“Should we get butter or sea salt?” Megumi asked you, looking at the shelf in front of you. You looked up from your messages, being faced with both options. “One of each?”

“I like salted better.”

“Does everyone else like salted?” you turned to look at him, seeing him shrug before grabbing both boxes and putting them in the cart. Folding his arms he placed them on top of the cart’s handle, beginning to push it forward.

You followed beside him, “I’m excited to see your acting skills by the way.” You nudged his shoulder with yours, causing him to huff out a breath.

“Don’t expect too much,” he mumbled. “C’mon Megs have some confidence!” Your enthusiasm made him a smile.

“Do we have everything?” he asked, deciding to change the topic. You looked at your phone in hand, going back through Yuji’s messages, you had gotten the popcorn, the fruit, sodas, chips, but you were missing the spray. “Yeah, but Yuji wanted febreeze too.”

“Why?”

“Don’t tell him I snitched, but he burnt the popcorn, which is why he also asked us to stop and get more.”

“Of course he did.”

Megumi hid his face in between your shoulder and neck for about the fifth time in last twenty minutes, mumbling something about not wanting to see himself. You just laughed at his reactions, running your hand through his hair. You leaned both of you against the armrest of the couch, readjusting your plate of snacks in your lap. “Megu you can’t just hide away for the whole movie,” you whispered, trying not to disturb the other three who were currently very invested in their work.

He didn’t give you a verbal response, instead just moving his head to be able to see the screen again.

“I think you’re really great in this,” you told him, having your hand rest on his neck.

“Aw, are you feeling shy Megumi?” Yuji interrupted from the other side of the couch. You looked towards him, only to see Megumi kick him, earning an ‘oomph’ out of his friend.

“Megumi don’t be mean.”

“It’s late you know,” Megumi spoke up. He put a bowl on the dish rack, drying his hands with a towel, then turning to face you. You sat at the kitchen counter, folding the game board up and placing it back in the box. After putting everything away on the box you checked the time on your phone, 1:47 am.

“Wasn’t planning on making you drive anyway,” you placed the phone down. Watching Megumi pick up the board games off the kitchen counter and carry them back to the cabinet they were originally stored in.

“So you planned on staying the night?”

“Well when Yuji announced sleepover I just thought so, yeah,” you replied, looking over to the living room where Nobara took up the large couch, Junpei and Yuji wrapped in blankets and pillows on different parts of the floor.

“Okay, but im not sleeping in the floor.” You gave Megumi a light laugh, already having expected that.

“You don’t have to either,” he mumbled, finally making his way next to you on the kitchen island. “What do you mean?” He just looked at you, hoping you couldn’t tell how he was feeling kind of nervous. “Just, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to share a bed.”

“Do you snore?” you joked.

“Fine sleep on the floor.”

“Megumi wait, I was joking!” You followed him after he had walked away from your spots in the kitchen.

“Sh, you’ll wake them up,” he whispered, although you highly doubt they would as they didn’t even seem to acknowledge the movement and sound of you guys. “Just c’mon, i’m tired,” he grumbled.

Yuji was the first to wake up, rising from his spot on the floor. His original plan was to go and get food from the kitchen, as even seconds into being awake he was already feeling hungry. However he was distracted when he saw Megumi’s room door open, catching a glimpse of his friend basically draped over you.

Author’s Note: guys we have 4 more chapters & and an epilogue left 😦😦😦

also completely unrelated but guess who finally passed the drivers test (it’s me, bryn, i did it)

but yea tysm for the support guys <33 this has been rlly fun!!! i’ll try my best to make these last few chapters bangers

hope you guys enjoyed!!

Taglist below, feel free to comment or dm me to be added!!

TAGLIST

@iridescentrays @gumimegz @maya-maya-56 @mamafly @lunavixia @swissy23 @coltsgf @m00nglad3-mp3 @etsukis @xosren @qtnfer @oengleli @harek89 @y-sabell-a @morgyyyyyyy @getolvr @liliumaraneae @k3lbade @aiieera @dancedancey @get0sfav @chuyasthighs0 @hyssoplampflickers @kpopanimen @sad-darksoul @vivi-loves-penguins @kasumitenbaz @talkingsperm @nymphsdomain @inlovewithlondonn @rzcnlb @enchantingkitty @fuyuzemi @lysaray @ni-ki-ismyluv @renemy @frumira @mixzimi @miralunaela @dreamxiing @p3achiee @anianurst @nishii28 @arguendo @samutoru @hallothankmas @invisible-mori @aiserex @all-in-the-fandoms @milza12 @nyxlai @daintyminho @tokyodarlng @molovs

[modelbus]

Kaz Brekker ladies and gents!! I just HAD to write more of him, sorry to my mcyt fans… and this is a hefty one at 4K words

There is violence, alcohol, death (murder…), and suggestiveness in this! Be warned!

Part one

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Gn!Reader

It’s All An Act

You don't talk about it. Neither of you acknowledge that anything is different. Kaz sends you out on jobs, and you come back with blood-stained hands. It's nothing out of the normal, but something about it just feels different.

It doesn't help that you’re resolutely avoiding him the best you can. If you don’t have a buffer there—Jesper, Wylan, or Inej—then you simply won't be talking to him. Not while the memory of his hand on your hip is still present.

"Now that was a good job!" Jesper cheers, slinging an arm around your shoulders. You laugh, leaning into him easily. 

"I only had to save your ass once." You joke, grinning.

"What's a job without some ass-saving?" His gaze flits around the Crow Club, undoubtably looking for Kaz and Wylan. The two were arriving last, having to do whatever they were doing. You were in no position to question Kaz's secret plans.

"True." You relent.

"You should drink! Come on, celebrate with me." Jesper knocks on the bar, and a cup of liquid is sent your guys’ way within seconds. Amber-colored, pretty in theory, but you know it's a bad idea. You know what happened the last time you thought it'd be a good idea to drink.

"Jes—"

"A little celebration. Nothing crazy." He winks, offering her the glass.

Your shoulders slump, and you’re about to take it just to indulge him, but a hand snatches it before you can. Gloved in black leather, Kaz raises it with raised eyebrows. 

"Boss!" Jesper exclaims. "Join us, we were just celebrating our victory!"

"You don't drink." Kaz says lowly to you, eyes raking over you. You frown, knowing exactly what you’re both thinking of.

His hand on your hip, leaning in too close to you. Quiet words, things you still puzzled over in your head to this day.

"First time for everything." You answer, stubborn. "Or, second time."

"That's the spirit!" Jesper cheers. "Knock it back."

"No." Kaz tells you, firmly. Then, without a second thought, tosses his head back and drains the drink. He drops it back on the counter and strides off, up towards his office.

"Buzzkill." Jesper sighs.

"Who is? Kaz?" Wylan asks, appearing out of nowhere. There's gunpowder smudges on his face, too-wide eyes peering at them.

"When isn't he?" You respond with a question, rolling your eyes.

"Everything go fine on the job?" Jesper questions. "He doesn't normally drink like that."

"Yeah." Wylan nods. "Explosions went perfect. I mean, one was a bit bigger than expected, but he said that was good!"

"He means it." Jesper quickly says, consoling. "Right?" He asks with a sideways glance to you.

"Right." You nod.

"Wy, you've got gunpowder on your face." Jesper laughs, reaching out to rub it off his cheek. It smears, becoming worse. Wylan bats his hand away, flushing red.

"You're making it worse!"

"I'm trying to get rid of it!"

You laugh quietly. "I'll go grab a towel."

You stand up, letting Wylan take your seat, and head towards the stairs. There's a closet up there, near Kaz's office, where you can surely find something to wipe the gunpowder off. Hazard of being an explosions expert, you suppose.

Opening the closest, you scan it for towels or wash cloths or anything. There's a dark grey one, so you grab it and shuts the closest. The hairs on the back of your neck rise, and you spins toward Kaz's now-open office door. He leans casually against his doorframe, both hands enclosed over the cane in front of him.

"Going to ask before you ravage my supplies?" He asks you.

"You pay me, Brekker." You deadpan, crossing your arms. Just barely, you inch backwards.

These brief moments of being alone with him have been filled with more fighting than usual. It's no doubt a result of how standoffish you’ve been to each other recently, and you hate it. You miss cracking jokes with Jesper, watching Kaz as you do to see if he'll give in and smile or not. He never does, but it's nice to pretend sometimes.

"You're not hurt." Not really a question from him, but he never really deals in questions.

"No, it's for Wylan. He has gunpowder all over his face. A bit suspicious should the stadwatch come in here."

Kaz nods, which is as much permission as you’ll get for taking the hand towel. "Return it after, Assassin."

"I'll send Wylan."

"I'm not asking for Wylan."

One day, he'll kill you. Because what does that mean? Are you meant to take that as something positive or something bad? His facial expression gives nothing away, schooled in the same neutral one as always.

"I'll still send him."

His gaze hardens at your clear refusal, but he doesn't push it. Just stays silent as you turn away, headed back down to the crow club. 

"Assassin." He calls after you just when you’re an awkward distance away. Screw him. "Get your tolerance up."

"My tolerance?" You ask, momentarily confused.

"Alcohol." He clarifies. “It’s a weakness.”

You scowl at him, openly glaring. If that didn't sting you didn't know what would. This one, though, you don’t want to fight against. It was too close to the line you were trying to avoid.

"Fine."

-

Not many things are easy in life. That's just a fact of it, as clear as the grass is green and the sky is blue. Although the sky is more grey than blue in Ketterdam.

What is easy, though, is the slicing of your knife across someone's throat. Less resistance than most people expect from the flesh and blood under the metal, giving way with just a bit of pressure.

Kaz glances over his shoulder at you and the dead body at her feet, startling. It's not very noticeable, per se, but you can still tell. From the slightest widening of his eyes to the downward twitch of his lips, you know.

He had no idea someone was behind him. And that was exactly why you were put on the duty of following him tonight. 

For a second he looks at you, then just keeps walking. You huff out a laugh.

"No thanks?" You ask him, crouching to rifle through the now-dead man's pockets.

"You're doing your job." He snaps. 

"I'd still appreciate a simple 'thank you.'" You pull out his wallet, flipping it open. "Dime Lions." 

"Great." Sarcasm. It makes you smile.

"He's dead now, so no worries." 

You snap his wallet shut and tuck it back into his pocket before jogging to catch up with Kaz. There wasn't much of value in it, but you take the Kruge that's in there. Enough to paint it as a petty robbery, although Pekka Rollins will know better. The stadwatch, on the other hand, won't. Which is exactly the point.

"Why are you walking with me?" Kaz asks, stiff and pointed.

"You didn't know he was behind you." Concern, hidden well, is tucked behind your words. Kaz isn't a dumbass. He knows to watch behind him, to pay attention. 

So why wasn't he?

"I had it under control."

"Brekker, if I wasn't here—"

"I pay you to be here. I had it under control."

Warning. You’re pissing him off, but you aren’t going to stop. Your lack of self preservation is just like that sometimes.

"You could've died due to your brooding." 

His eyebrow quirks up. "Brooding?"

"Thinking about whatever it is you're thinking about." You amend. "Revenge, or murdering babies, or whatever Kaz Brekker thinks about."

He turns his head towards you, most likely to scan your expression. You scan his first. There's the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes, making the fight drain out of you. You wonder what he finds in your expression.

"I prefer not to murder babies." Kaz finally answers, never breaking his stride. You light up, because that's a joke. 

"So revenge it is." You joke back, practically glowing.

"No."

"Then what, Brekker?" 

He stops, turning towards you. "Why are you still walking with me, Assassin? Your job is on the roofs at a distance."

You draw back, deflating slightly. You don’t let it show though, knowing better than to show weakness.

"Right." You turn away, vanishing down an alley to use the fire escape to get back up to the roofs.

Kaz keeps walking.

-

"Chin up. Watch my entire body, not just my feet." You instruct, darting in to lightly tap your opponent on the shoulder. Wylan sighs, jumping backwards far too late.

"This is hopeless." He claims dejectedly.

"Not hopeless. Just... difficult." 

You step back too, giving him a second to catch his breath. When Kaz told you to teach Wylan how to fight, you hadn't thought it'd go this bad. But here you are, in the basement of the Crow's headquarters. You’re desperately trying to get him to spar with you at least a little. Honestly, you’d be happy if he hit you even once.

"Come on, you've got this. Into the square then out. Anticipate my moves." 

Wylan lunges, stuttering forward, and you side-step with minimal effort. You’re slower than usual, more obvious. But at least he's trying, even if he's failing at it.

"How?" He moans miserably, looking down at his wrapped hands. Your hands are similarly wrapped, white gauze protecting her knuckles. Not that you’re hitting Wylan at all; you’ve been tapping him whenever she gets into range. 

"Everyone has tells. Even you." You dip your head towards him. "Think of Kaz. He slides his hand down further on his cane for a better grip before he swings it. That's a tell. Or Jesper, who angles his feet into shooting position before pulling his gun."

"How do you even notice this stuff?" 

"Perks of being a fighter." You shrug, lightly circling around him.

"I'm not a fighter." He points out.

"And we're trying to make you one."

Faintly, you can hear the noise of Kaz's cane approaching from somewhere. Doing rounds, maybe. You tun him out, focusing more on Wylan instead.

"So what's your tell?" Wylan asks you, making your laugh.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have one. You'll have to figure it out yourself."

He groans again, stepping back from you. You grin, shaking your head. "Come on, you've got this."

"I'm not made for fighting. I don't know how to look for a tell!”

You laugh. "I have immeasurable faith in you, Wy."

"Well I don't!" He throws his hands in the air, and you take the chance to knock him off balance. Before he can fall, though, you catch his wrist to keep him upright.

"Careful." You teas, ignoring his mumbles of curses.

"I'm starting to wonder why Inej couldn't have taught me." He grumbles. "Who cares if she's busy? What even is a tell?!"

"Angling shoulders before making a move." Kaz says, making both Wylan and you turn. "Because of a slighter frame, seeking the added power."

Not an insult, not from him. It's just a fact, a true statement. You choose stealth, speed, and agility over muscles and strength. To you, it's better. Because he's right; in a brute force battle, you’ll lose every single time.

You could write this off as him needing to know your weakness. That's just how Kaz was: he documented every weakness of every person, just in case. But something tells you this isn't that. It's something more, something you’re too scared to dig into.

And of course your tell is one she can't even fix, because he's right. You need that power more than you need to disguise your tell. 

"Thanks, Kaz." Wylan says brightly. "Maybe you'd be a better teacher."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I don't see Brekker on the mat." 

"Lucky him." Wylan huffs under his breath, making you laugh. 

"I’m the one who ordered these lessons." Kaz informs Wylan, although they all already knew this. "So learn."

He shifts backwards, leaning against the wall. Watching.

Great. Now you feel like you’re being judged at how bad of a teacher you are. In your defense, you were taught to fight. Not how to teach others how to fight. There's no way to explain the dance, the intuition that'll take over when your life is in danger.

"Who taught you?" Wylan asks, and you freeze.

Not because you don’t have an answer, but because it's one you can't give. At least, not with Kaz in the room. He told you to keep your secrets, that he didn't want them. Well, this was one secret you sure as hell were keeping.

"Not a particularly kind teacher." You say, hoping that's good enough.

Late at night, freshly woken from a haunting memory, you can remember your training. Getting beaten within an inch of your life every single day. Learning how to fight become a necessity to survive, to avoid injury.

You won't be teaching Wylan that way. You couldn't stand the idea of hurting him like that. Of hurting anyone like that. Bringing pain to the helpless wasn't your style; and Kaz knew that. Which was exactly why they didn't have you do torturing in the Crows.

Wylan, wisely, keeps his mouth shut and raises his fists. You nudge his feet apart into a more proper stance, biting back a laugh when he nearly topples over.

"Saints, I can't wait until Jesper gets here."

-

The first thing Kaz says to you when you haul yourself up the Crow Club stairs and into his office isn't particularly nice. His back to you, standing over his desk. From the angle you have, leaning heavily against the doorway, you can see various papers spread out on it.

"You're late, Assassin." He says blandly over his shoulder. "By an hour."

"I know." You snap, because saints if there's one thing you don’t want it's to be chewed out by Kaz right now.

"Then why—" he turns, halting his own words as he takes you in.

You must be a sight for sore eyes to make him stop like that. Shoulder braced to against the doorway so she can lean on it, you stare back at him. Your arm, bleeding from a knife wound, is wrapped protectively around your ribs. Bruised, at least, but maybe fractured or broken. 

You take Kaz in the same way he's currently taking you in. His hair is disheveled, out of his usual, which has your interest immediately. Between that and his eyes—darker than usual—you can tell he's in a bad mood. Worrying. Bad news for you, most likely.

"You're hurt." He states the obvious, eyes trailing down to where you’re dripping blood onto his floor.

"No shit, Kaz." Your voice is laced with pain; no use trying to hide what he already knows. 

"Fight?"

"I won."

"Who?"

You set her jaw and resolutely refuses to answer. To admit that an ex-employer of yours (the one ex-employer before Kaz, actually) had sent someone to kill you? It painted you as having baggage. And in the barrel, that wasn't a good thing.

You did win, though. That much is the truth. Even though her opponent was about ten times the size of you and surprised you in you own home. That was a fear tactic, and damn if it wasn't working. Maybe you’d ask if you could stay with Wylan and Jesper until you found somewhere new to live.

"You wouldn't happen to have bandages, would you?" You ask instead of answering. You know he does.

He sighs. "In the bathroom." 

Neither of them move. In theory, getting them sounded great to you. But in practice, you know it'd kill your ribs.

"Where?" Kaz asks finally, and you know he's not asking where it happened.

"Arm. Ribs."

He frowns even more than he already is, and you look away. You were hired because you’re meant to be good. Meant to be above this injury stuff.

You look back at him when you hear him moving closer. He offers his cane to you. Anywhere else, it'd be courtesy. Simple politeness. Anyone else, it'd be no big deal. But you’re here, and it's him.

"Just take it." He says lowly, before you can make any comment.

So you do, hand wrapping around the metal crow head you’ve seen him grip a thousand times. It's warmer than you would've expected, warmed from body heat despite the gloves he's always wearing.

Kaz turns, heading to his bathroom without another word. His limp is pronounced, but he doesn't falter. You tighten your grip on his cane and follow him, ignoring the stabs of pain shooting through your ribs.

Bruised, fractured, or broken. Saints, you hope it’s the first one.

He goes to the bathroom closest, hand on the door to take the weight off his bad leg, reaching out to grabs a roll of bandages. You offer his cane back when he turns around, having the counter to lean on instead.

Kaz takes it silently, inclining his head towards the counter without any words. Your gaze flickers between him and the counter, biting your cheek.

Sitting on the counter would take the pressure off your ribs, yes. But at the same time, getting onto the counter was a problem in itself. If your ribs were broken badly, you could jar one irreversibly.

"It's like you can't do anything." Kaz snaps, anger and violence written into his tone.

You have your own quick remark fast on your tongue, easy to spit out at him. You never get the chance.

Kaz grabs your waist—gloves, he has his gloves on, and the three goddamn layers—and lifts you onto the counter. Your breath is gone for two reasons within the second. One: it fucking hurt. Two: when did he get the ability to do that? You aren’t heavy, and Kaz isn't weak, but fuck.

He drops the bandages on the counter next to you and walks out of the bathroom.

For a second, you’re too stunned to do anything. Then survival instincts kick in, and you grab the bandages with your good arm to stop the bleeding on your left one. The cut wasn't deep, a superficial wound really, but it was a lucky knife slash. Serrated blades were truly the worst thing to go around Ketterdam. Every damn fool was using them these days. Zero skill and all luck.

Ears carefully attuned to Kaz's cane and uneven footsteps, you’re just tucking the end of the bandage in when he walks back in. You don’t look up at him, although you’re about equal height right now due to your position.

It's a familiar position. Sitting on the countertop, Kaz in front of you. You close your eyes for a second, trying to clear out that mental image. 

When you open your eyes again, he's stepped between your legs.

Saints. Just like the stupid party.

"Hold your shirt up."

Your mind goes blank. "What?"

"You need someone to check if your ribs are fractured or not." His expression shifts, just slightly. Annoyed, maybe? "Hold your shirt up."

Swallowing your pride, or dignity, or self-restraint, you tug your shirt up. Just enough to make him able to see your ribs, no higher. You assume he'll look at them, seeing as observing is what he does best. You assume wrong.

Carefully, he lays his gloved hands over your rib cage and feels over your ribs. One layer. One fucking layer.

Your head tilts back, hitting the wall, mouth parting. Because this hurts, a double edged knife in the heart. Between your ribs and arm, you’ve been through enough. But now he's touching you, one layer stopping it from being skin-to-skin contact.

The coolness of his leather gloves slides over your ribs as he gently presses in, trying to feel if anything is amiss. You have to bite your tongue to stop from crying out in pain, but it's not enough to disguise your gasp.

"Breathe in." He orders. "Deeply."

You do so, slow and steady, closing your eyes against the pain. Without prompting you breathe out, which is considerably easier than breathing in. His thumb presses down, and yoj reflexively grab his wrist when it sends white-hot agony through you.

Kaz raises his eyebrows.

"Sorry." You breathe out.

One layer.

You drop your hand from his wrist.

"Talk." A command from your boss, or whatever he is to you right now.

You wracks her brain, only coming up with one thing. "Seven. I was seven—"

"Not a secret." He grinds out. "Something mundane."

It was a secret, but one you were offering willingly. Swallowing back pointless hurt (hadn't you gotten hurt at the same thing at that party?) you switch topics.

"I like dogs. The- ow- the smaller ones. Or the soft ones. They're cute, even as strays." 

Kaz presses down, harder than before, just on a certain spot on your ribs. The 8th one on the right side. You gasp, hand closing around his wrist again.

"Fractured." He says cooly, not pulling away.

Not pulling away.

"Hairline?" You ask hopefully.

Kaz, thank the saints, nods. He drops his hand but doesn't step back. In response, you drop your shirt back down.

You've been in this position before. Granted, you were drunk and not injured the last time, but your mind is drawing parallels.

"Who was it?" Kaz asks again, and you’re finally able to place the look in his eyes.

Murderous. 

If you hadn't killed the man herself, you’d be afraid for his safety. Maybe him dying to you was a blessing compared to whatever death he would've suffered at Kaz's hands.

"Who was it?" He repeats.

"Don't worry about it. I took care of it. I can handle myself just fine, Brekker."

He doesn't rise to the bait. "I know you can. And I still need a name." Pause. "Names?"

"I can handle my own fucking problems."

Kaz's gaze pointedly doesn't waiver. "What problems? I'm not above getting you drunk again. You seemed plenty happy to spill your secrets then."

Low blow. "Technically you didn't get me drunk. I got myself drunk."

"Technicalities. You're staying here tonight."

"Kaz!"

"Someone's after you, and you won't tell me who. You're an asset the Crow Club needs, and I protect my assets. Clear?"

He's Kerch. Ketterdam for most of his life, at the very least. You aren’t quite the same, having grown up in Ravka first then moved here. But you’re smart enough to know that Kerch use terms of endearment interchangeably with material goods.

And you know Kaz well enough to know that him calling you an asset isn't something small.

"Fine." You breathe, hoping he'll know that you accepting isn't something small either.

It's how the barrel works; in trades. It's how you two work.

"I'll find out who eventually." Kaz threatens—no, promises. "Wylan has the merch council after him. Inej the menagerie. Jesper the entirety of Ketterdam's gambling rings. I don't care who's after you."

"You will." 

Kaz reaches up, wrapping his fingers delicately around your chin. You’ve seen these same hands strangle a man before, yet they're nothing but soft here.

And he pulls your face to his, kissing you.

"Do not tell me what I will and won't care about."

Just as quickly as the kiss happens, it's over. Kaz takes a few steps back, until his back hits the wall. If you hadn't known him, you would've assumed it took no effort for him to do that. But you can see his hands flexing on his cane, and knows about his touch aversion.

No layers.

It takes you too many silent moments to place the look in his eyes. One that's unfamiliar to you, and unfamiliar to him. Vulnerability.

Not synonymous with weakness, because Kaz Brekker isn't weak. Even on his knees, he could be never be weak to you.

"Pekka Rollins." You breathe, offering your own vulnerability.

You know you won't get another kiss out of it, no matter how badly you want it. But you offer it anyways.

His eyes sharpen.

Your shared enemy.

"Better the enemy you know." He murmurs. "He sent someone after you."

"Repeatedly."

Kaz nods. "Then," he says slowly, meticulously, "we take him down."

He reaches a hand out, palm up, offering to help you off the counter. You take it, skin sliding against the leather, wincing as you slide off. 

"Take it easy. You're no use if your ribs become broken."

Well. If you squint, it's kind of sweet.

You stay up together, maps of Ketterdam spread out among various other papers in front of him. You in a chair next to his desk, him standing ominously over it. 

And when you start to fall asleep, ignoring the pain in your ribs, he does you the favor of not waking you up. Instead, he switches to his own seat, silently working on saints-knows-what.

The next time your eyes open, there's a blanket over you and a missing Kaz.

-

Affection from Kaz comes in the form of subtly, the things that have been there all along. The minor details you ignored, too doubtful you’d read it wrong.

Him leaning over you while reviewing a plan, for instance. Rather than wedge himself between you and Jesper—you’d both move for him, of course—he leans over you to tap a certain number. The barest of brushes, his arm against your shoulder, then nothing.

Or, more obvious, him offering out his cane to you to help you stand. It's just slightly alleviating on your ribs, which you do have wrapped carefully to prevent them from becoming worse. They're nearly healed, actually, the last of the bruises vanishing. 

But he still offers out his cane, and you still take it. Every time.