#i know he has a drivers license but thats not the point

[georgespaniel]

matty gives off the vibes of a man who can't drive

[isekai-crow]

Mashle Ending Cars

My Beetle is a massively certified mechanic in Japan who is a bit of a motorcycle fanatic. (I cannot emphasize how much I am understating the term FANATIC here.)

So naturally since I know nothing about cars and they're tangentially related to motorcycles, I asked him to tell me the names of all the cars in the ending, and he did well.

Mash - Nissan Fair Lady's Z 2008 model - He was able to get this one immediately and was like, "Anyone who knows their cars would know this immediately."

Lance - Beetle thought it was a Mazda RX-8 but it might be an import model - We guessed a Ferrari, but a lot of them have different headlight shapes.

Dot - Jeep Wrangler. Thats it. No numbers for you lmao

Finn - Morgan Plus 4 (had to google this one because too many similar looking classic cars and this STILL doesn't look exactly right.)

Rayne - Rolls Royce Phantom III baybee

I LOVE THAT THE AMES BROS HAVE CLASSIC OLDIE CARS. THEY'RE SO STYLISH. We already know that Finn is the only one in the main group with any sense of style and THIS JUST PROVES IT. I wanna go for a spin with him.

(Also classic cars as SO. FUCKING. EXPENSIVE. to own in Japan. The older your car is the more you pay in taxes. Which I wonder if it means anything here...)

Draco Malfoy Ryoh Grantz- Mercedes-Benz Vision Gran Turismo or one of the other versions. This also took a bit of googling cause he could only pin the Brand Name and not the car itself cause it's too new.

Harry Potter Orter Madl- Ashton Martin Vanquisher (THE NAMING SENSE. DID THEY PICK THIS CAR SOLELY FOR THE NAME VANQUISHER???)

Carpaccio - Porche Boxster - He picked up on the headlights immediately because we had a low budget Porche at one point, inherited from his brother.

Margarette Macaron - BMW r100 - This was of course the fastest on he pinned and AHHH MY BELOVED MARGARETTE they're so cool for riding a motorcycle.

Also.

The Mash's dads on a driving date.

Love that for them. So sweet.

And fucking of course this is a euphamism for magic and MASH IS THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A DRIVER'S LICENSE SO HE'S PUSHING THE CAR.

AND THAT CAR IS IN PARK AND/OR HAS THE BREAKS ON because of course it fucking does why am I surprised lmao

This song is a banger too. When I get around to it, I wanna do a break down of the lyrics to this and other OPs and EDs.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for telling my brother that he has to break up with his gf of 3 years

⛸️✈️ (so i can recognize this ask)

tw for obsessive behavior and slight mention of incest (nothing about actual incest just creepy shit that my brothers gf did itll make more sense if you read it)

it sounds bad i know but hear me out

my brother (28M) has been dating this girl (30F) who we will call Kate for about 3 years but recently i (16X) told him to break up with her.

my brother and i have been very close since i was little and he practically raised me. ive seen him try to find love before but never successfully so when he told me he was dating a girl online i was really happy for him. i had my doubts but i just kept it to myself because he was happy and thats all that really matters to me. they had visited before, and when i met kate she was super nice and i really enjoyed hanging out with her too. and then about a year ago they decided to move in together. however kate didnt want to move away from her family so my brother moved across the country to live with her. at this point she was 29, didnt have her drivers license, lived with her mom and worked at walmart. they had agreed that if my brother moved out there kate would get her license, they would find an apartment, and she would try and get a better job. so my brother moved out there to be with her. back then i had hoped they would break up because i didnt want him to move but again i didnt say anything because i just wanted him to be happy. a year later kate has not followed through with any of the things they agreed on. so for the past year my brother has been living with kate, her mom, her moms bf and occasionally her grandparents. kates family is all unemployed (her mom was fired her moms bf is a slacker and her grandparents retired) do the only 2 providing for the whole family are kate and my brother. as i mentioned before kate works at walmart so she doesnt make enough money. so all the financial responsibility falls to my brother who has a well paying job. about a month ago in december my brother called our mom and asked for relationship advice. eventually he said that he wasnt happy in the relationship and decided to have a talk with kate about how she hasnt done anything she promised. she got really emotional but then agreed to start working on things but that didnt last very long, she was back to her old routine in 2 days. after i heard that he was unhappy it all started to click, he never looked happy in any pictures after he moved. but when he came to visit recently i saw him actually happy and smiling. he ended up having a talk with our mom where he just spilled everything. he said that he didnt want to move in the first place but he felt like he had to for kate. after this kate started trying to keep me away from my brother. it was at this point when i told him to break up with her and move back home. the next day he went back across the country and called our mom when he got back. he had said that kate started copying all the things i do but making it kinda sexual. kate had starting being obsessive, checking his phone, not wanting him to talk to friends and family, constantly checking his location and more crazy shit. my mom and i talked about how we were going to try and help my brother because at this point it was getting out of hand and we realized that kate sees me as competition and is trying to keep me away from my brother so he wont want to move back here. i told him that he needs to break up with her and move back here for his sanity and mental health so aita for that?

tldr: kate sees me as competition for her romantic relationship with my brother so she started copying things i do but sexy even though i am a minor and her bfs little sibling so i told him to break up with her and move back home

What are these acronyms?

[laithraihan]

Would you be comfortable sharing any personal info (age, profession, relationship status, etc...)? Completely understand if you're not but it's always really interesting learning about the lives of ppl I admire. Again, if that's not something you wanna do it's totally understandable! I love your art!!

Ah thank you so much 🫶 and sure I dont mind sharing some stuff but to be very honest Im not an interesting person, so I'm sorry in advance for disappointing you.

So I'm a woman (or something like that) even though I use a male pen name for art, Im 22 years old, 151cm (4'11"), the eldest daughter who has two teenage siblings who are both taller than me and make fun of me for being short. I do not have a profession and I do not go to school due to a disability I will not disclose. Im a lesbian engaged to a butch, we've been together for almost 4 years (our anniversary is in August)

My favorite season is winter because all the bugs are dead and I despise summer because the bugs are alive. Im also really scared of butterflies for some reason. Im scared of winged bugs in general. Ive never seen a cockroach in my life but I'd probably kill myself if I saw one. I really hate bugs. The winters are harsh here but I like walking outside when theres light snow falling at night. Im also a bit obsessed with Christmas lights but I dont celebrate Christmas, I dont follow any religion in general but my family is Muslim so Ive been raised with that. If I could just put Christmas lights in my room all year then I would do that. They look really pretty.

About my ethnicity I think everyone knows Im Algerian already, well Ive only been to Algeria once when I was like 8 years old so I dont really remember anything. All I know is that my uncle would keep telling my dad that I convinced him to stop smoking and that he's eternally grateful for that but I literally cannot remember what I did or said back then so I just pretended I knew what he was talking about. Anyway. Id like to go there again one day. I most likely will go soon in the future so it makes me happy to think about it.

My first language is French and Im somewhat fluent in English but it needs more work. Whenever I speak English I have to think harder about the words that come out of my mouth and I start saying things that dont make sense. But my pronunciation is good so other people just assume Im fluent. Also I understand Derja (Algerian Arabic) when people talk to me out loud but I cant form sentences and respond back so I just answer people in French. I know how to read Arabic script and I understand basic words but again I cant form sentences. As for Japanese I can only read Hiragana and Katakana and a bit of Kanji, and my understanding of the language is worse than Arabic, so I practice by translating Japanese song lyrics, reading news articles and talking with Japanese users online

Honestly I dunno what else to say, I dont really have any special skills or anything like that. Unless you count memorizing all the metro stations in Montreal but thats only because I had to use public transport all the time when I was a kid because my parents never felt like driving me to my appointments. At that point I probably visited every single station because I had to go to many random places. I dont have a drivers license but I prefer walking to places in general even though there are no stores near my neighborhood, but I think it's better for me because I get to walk more. I think I really like the idea of travelling in general but I dont have friends for that, my parents also wouldnt allow me to hang out with friends so it's a bit unfortunate

Oh and lately Ive been enjoying making eggs for some reason, I think Im good at doing that. But I only cook whenever Im hungry and I rarely feel hungry so I dont cook many eggs. I also dont like cleaning dishes so I avoid making huge meals in general. I dont really eat much in the first place but I still like food. I really like going to restaurants too. I just like going outside in general. I like listening to music and talking with people, normal stuff like that. Im running out of things to say so I'll probably just stop there.

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ How The Boxers Drive ☆

made this bc evil (im running out of excuses) this has been rotting in my queue for a while now

Glass Joe

- Really paranoid, i dont blame him cars are really flammable

- will panic if even one scratch gets on his car

- Just really careful with where he parks & when he parks

- if anything suspicious is on his windshield he'll panic because what if its used to mark him for something

-you know how moms go "slow down your gonna crash!!" if you speed up while driving? Yeah thats him

Von Kaiser

- unhinged driver, he'll go 50 kilometers a hour with the most bored expression ever

- put on your seatbelts because he loves to take sudden turns

- you have to hold on for dear life to anything because he doesnt understand what the words "slow down" means

- do not turn on the lights, just dont or he'll literally hiss at you

- driving like hes in a police chase, damn peepaw slow down

Disco Kid

- blasting his ears out + also going ridiculously fast

- you better hope the radio stops after a crash or you'll die to california girls

- doesnt do sudden turns thankfully

- drives even faster at nighttime, disco is really out for blood

- dont even bother honking at him, he cant hear you over his 92827298272 hour playlist

King Hippo

- he cant drive, what are you all on

- no literally, even if he could find a car to fit him, he still wouldnt be able to operate it

- too overwhelming for him anyways

- He gets carsick too easily

Piston Hondo

- actually responsible & obeys traffic laws (LIKE A LOSER!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO RUN OVER PEOPLE INSTEAD!!)

- cant listen to music while driving, it just doesnt work for him

- if you honk at him he'll stare into your soul

- actually reading the road signs (LIKE A NERD!! BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO THE LAW SUCKS)

- overall responsible driver

Great Tiger

- another driver from hell

- honks to communicate with people, at some point you'll have to consider ripping off the steering wheel or your ears

- blasting his music, he has damaged hearing because of that

- speed limits are for cowards,he'll gladly go 100 in a 30 zone

- reading road signs but not caring at all

Bear Hugger

- oh no.

- okay driver but wont shut up, bear we get it you shouldnt piss off or piss ON a moose you couldve ended it there

- eating snacks in the backseat makes him do the ultimate dad move™ (the hand thingy dads do when you eat snacks)

- "yeah you can push those to the side make yourself comfortable" as his backseat is filled with maple syrup bottles, a pair of moose antlers and the weirdest shit you can imagine, bear im really sure you dont need a entire ass stop sign

- doesnt speed but takes sudden turns way too often for your stomach to stay in one piece (can we get much higherrr, so highhh)

- also honks to communicate

Don Flamenco

- this fucking menace needs to be stopped

- He sings in the car, Don nobody needs to hear you sing poker face please dont crash

- unintentionally speeding, always 5 km over the speed limit

- holy shit he needs his license taken away

- He texts while driving, how worse can you get??

- you know "get in loser, we're going shopping."? yeah thats him whenever he comes to pick someone up

- Does more singing than driving

Aran Ryan

- wait what

- He actually obeys traffic laws & is okay with speed limits? What a switch

- He knows how to shut up too

- He may be a nuisance but he keeps it off the road because nuh uh no one is dying in a car crash today

- has sobbed in his car multiple times (mostly while driving) thats the most you can get him

- him & his car have been through thick and thin, he has laughed in that car, cried in that car, screamed in that car, sung in that car, he has went through everything with his car, it legally counts as an artifact

Soda Popinski

- license, on the kitchen table, NOW.

- he used to drive when drunk when he was a alcoholic (hence his past name, vodka drunkenski)

- doesnt use any kind of navigation when driving, he uses his gut feelings & they either: work, fail miserably or have you end up in a seperate country and either way its concerning

- has crashed into multiple signs & trees

- speeds when bored

- oh my god this man is a mess

Bald Bull

- calm the fuck down

- same deal as kaiser, unhinged driver with the most bored expression ever while asking you "how was your day?" like dude please slow down

- hes the reason the term road rage exists

- will gladly get out of the car to fight someone

- honking at him is a one way ticket to fucking die - land

- i hope awkward conversations are your thing because he'll try to do a icebreaker and ask stuff

- keep the lights off unless its the night or he'll chuck you out of the car like you're a McDonald's™ napkin

Super Macho Man

- jail.

- hes driving on the sidewalk. DRIVING ON THE SIDE FUCKING WALK.

- drives even if hes tired

-suprisingly brash with his car considering it costs a fortune

- He didnt hit the street lamp, it hit him

- blasting the worst music ever as he goes through a quiet neighborhood at 3 am

Mr Sandman

- oh my god finally a good driver

- hes a law abiding citizen

- hes the only one allowed to drive

- the only thing you can get him on is slamming his car door a little too hard but thats better than going 92827281962629912619916281972729229 in a 30 km zone or stopping halfway through to fight someone

- will not talk, ever.

- hes the first option when the wvba needs to ride somewhere and cant find a driver

[iremadethisisanarchive]

please help, this is urgent - i need to get away from my father, but i have no money. ive become jobless recently, had an interview today, but cant officially be hired until i have my state ID, which i ordered a replacement online today thanks to the help of a tumblr mutual sending me $25 and takes 7-10 days to arrive (at a different address, not my dad's address). he's abusive, he's manipulative and every other negative trait under the sun, he has been so since i was a teenager. there's no reasoning with him, there's no arguing with him, there's no peace with him unless it goes his way. im mentally exhausted being around him, i wouldnt have been with him to begin with if i had another choice. but even if i wanted to stay with him, i couldn't, because he has kicked me out yet again and i quite literally have nowhere to stay, he's also threatening 'legal action' on me, whether or not thats a scare tactic or genuine idk at this point. anyway, i do not have a car or a drivers license currently either. my best option would be a nearby motel room which i can't currently afford on my own and this is where i need help. please please, if you can, id appreciate any don8tions towards this, as well as money for phone bill and food and uber rides as i wait for my replacement ID card in the mail to officially be hired and start the training for the new job.

my pajdpal

no set goal, anything helps, but totaling over $500 or more would be amazing. if you cant help i understand, i know everyone is going through something, but at the very least a reblog to spread this around to someone who could potentially aid me would be great !! my partner is going to help me get the rest of my stuff from his house, but after that, im on my own. (i cant stay at my partners house because of strict culture/beliefs)

screenshots of account balances, the rmv payment + texts between me & my dad under the cut (as an example of how he is the majority of the time like i cant make this up):

(the blacked out picture is a picture of my jury duty status, pending disqualification that i requested to show my dad that i wasnt simply ignoring it)

it didnt end there, but at this rate the whole post would be text messages between him & i. this doesnt include all of the things he said over the phone. i mean im no angel here either but ive tried to be nice. ive tried. ive tried to end the convo a billion times on a better note, he kept going, or blew up my phone with calls to fight further. i feel like i have no escape from him and i desperately need one.

[livelaughlovefootball]

mans joined f1 at 17, the youngest person to drive in f1. i think they changed a rule because of this, he had a racing super licence before an actual license. you could imagine how well being into the spotlight at 17 goes, and growing up in the same environment. so he was reckless, and angry. keyword: was. now he's mellowed out a bit. replies told a lot about him, to add to that, the team he drives for is very invested in him. he's red bull's golden boy, because of which they favor him. search up red bull second driver drama for more context, tldr: teams make cars suiting their faster driver and max is fast af, old teammates got shorter end of stick and were replaced (pierre gasly was replaced in the middle of the 2019 season). some dislike him becaude of thr way the hes being favored. thats the racing side of things, i dont want to get into the personal life. id suggest keeping things that happen on track separate from whatever happens off it, from a fan point of view. it helps with dealing drama, almost loke compartmentalising

Yeah I totally get what you mean. I don't know anything about his personal life, but I cannot help but recognize how much of an impressive driver he is. It's okay to appreciate someone's skill completely!

It also makes sense that he would start out with struggles as such a young guy under such a spotlight; I guess you can't really blame him for struggling at first. It is good he has chilled out and grown as a person for sure, as he has grown older.

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

I BROKE. TIME TO INFODUMP

FIRSTLY: this is mostly based off of 2012 with some rise influence.

In this au splinter is absent for most of their early lives due to him believing his kids would be safer without the foot targeting him (i promise there’s a plot to this but for now its gonna be silly). And since theres gonna be a plot thats about it ! Oh also they met april at 11 yrs old I think and Casey just a little bit before the story starts

ANWAY HAVE SOME BULLET POINTS

Casey tries to do their own facial piercings

The piercings almost always get infected

They have to go to donnie for help

April wears her iconic hat to hide her dark roots (shes not a real ginger!!)

Leo is technically the second-oldest they just have a complex

the turtles steal most of their food

April goes to a bouldering gym and can scale buildings

Casey plays roller derby

donnie is the oldest despite the fact that they’re all 15

None of them could cook until the age of 12

They all play dnd passionately

donnie is the oldest because he said he scientifically proved (lied) it and everyone else called dibs on who would be next oldest (raph and Leo agreed to tie)

now take some character blurb thingies that go by age

April: april is 16 and has a driver’s license (could technically be a junior in hs but she’s not), shes very cool and accidentally went ginger at some point then just decided she liked it?? No one knows. They go to a lot LOT of concerts and also rock climbs and she loves women. Also a drummer in a band called smth that i will figure out later. Definitely takes a lot of responsibility for the wellbeing of the turtles due to their situation but like subtly. they for sure got their own issues but chooses to ignore em a lot of the time. Only child (lameee)

Donnie: hes 15 and pretends hes biologically the oldest (he is not they’re all the same age). he made all the blueprints for the lair once it was decided it was too small. hes very good at stealing stuff which is how he gets most of his materials, learned how to hack into ATMS a while ago but thinks it’s morally wrong (only used in desperate measures). Doesn’t mind not being the leader since he knows his claims of being the oldest are total bs but definitely adopted an oldest child mentality. Keeps a lot of problems a secret from his “younger” brothers and mostly talks to april about it. Extremely silly. Main doctor but also very squeamish specifically about bones (not broken bones, just the concept). Purple everything. He has access to every one of his sibling’s internet accounts he just doesn’t tell them about it. Also the main cook, since he would try and read whatever books they could find in dumpsters, especially when they were kids. Shares leo’s space interests less because of a show and more because of science stuff. Didn’t like Casey at first but they got close super fast later on. He is the best thief out of all of them (shhhh).

Casey: also 15, in april’s grade. Knows april from Spanish tutoring despite the fact they’re latine (haha if im violently whiteified my little guys have to be too) very into punk subculture and roller derby and also engineering/mechanics (I’m very excited to show off his vigilante equipment). Constantly does dumb shit for no apparent reason. Very much similar to 2012 casey (says “thats so metal dudes” anytime anything horrifying/dangerous happens). They also have had weird unspoken tension with everyone completely by accident and cant stop falling off of buildings. They have zero fighting skills or training but somehow haven’t died yet. Missing one tooth, top of the mouth next to his right canine (replaced with a glow-in-the-dark plastic one don’t ask them how it stays in).

Leo: 15, self-proclaimed second oldest and leader. (they have a complex probably) they’re only the leader because [HAHAHAHA PLOT AND BACKSTORY] and everyone else just stuck with it. They try very very hard to be silly and goofy but are also constantly anxious, not specifically about their siblings but like in general. Very very hesitant, prefers stealth (and stupid jokes) to direct confrontation. very close with raph since they’re “twins” (all of them are the same age). Intense sci-fi/space obsession, they’ve watched every single episode of their world’s equivalent to Star Trek (and all the movies) and also had a huge nonfiction phase which is still ongoing, fueled by stolen textbooks and endless internet videos . They also write fanfiction (secretly and make fun of other people who do to throw off their siblings it doesn’t work at all). They are so so lame and i love them so much.

Raph: 15, also second oldest, very very overprotective but like low-key about it. Super close with april and leo. Does all the confrontation and has accidentally been confused to be the leader of the team (CONSTANTLY ends up in hostage situations to the point it’s almost funny). ALLERGIC to Feelings he will Die if he has to talk about things so he mostly vents by tearing up his room and then feeling bad abt it. Made donnie help him find leo’s fanfics and then swore him to secrecy forever. Very distrustful, secretly super artsy, weirdly obsessed with messing with ppls hair (probably because he is surrounded by bald ppl). Also secretly a fashion icon, he has a disguise specifically so he can go to the mall with april and look at clothes for fun. He is physically the strongest out of everyone and has a really bad habit of using himself as their meat shield. Accidentally very very silly dude.

Mikey: 15 the Absolute Youngest by request. He is objectively the best fighter but is constantly being sidetracked by his siblings taking hits/taking out enemies for him (look theyre all just Like That). Really really smart when in a crisis, but for some reason not in a low pressure situation. She tries to cook but ultimately prefers baking. He’s also good at building things, so he usually hangs out with donnie in his workshop and made a lot of the lair’s furniture though he somehow can’t build anything from ikea. Also knows about leo’s fanfic career and accepted a bribe of a hubcap chandelier (?) to not tell anyone. Leo never made him a chandelier but at this point she has completely forgotten about it. Is secretly a beta reader for the fics and pretends she doesn’t know leo, except for when he describes very very distinct details of their home as suggestions for a room or something. Will continue to do this until leo either has a nervous breakdown or realizes it’s him. 

PLEASE ASK ME MORE ABOUT HTESE GUYS IM BEGGING YOU AUGHGHGGH

[whiskeyswifty]

I wanna know what you think of Olivia's vampire?? Please and thank you 💖 I'm obsessed with your replies

i'm so sorry to report, dear anon, that olivia has never been and is still not For Me, to say it politely. It's very much music For The Kids, and that's great! Younger generations always need things that are their own, separate from the adults in their life. That's not to say it's lesser than anything else because it's for the kids, not at all! It's just for a demographic I'm not a part of and don't feel any kinship to right now (which is a good thing lmao i'm an adult i shouldn't be in spaces for kids). It's also not to say as an adult, you can't enjoy her music! If you're able to connect with it via the younger version of yourself, that's beautiful and i'm so happy for you that teenage you gets to feel validated. So many of my friends love it for how as a teenager, they would have related to it. I connect to a lot of other younger artists right now for the same reasons and because taste-wise, they're doing things that really click with me, so it's just not a good match, olivia and I. that's all!

A number of factors probably are why i don't enjoy her music writ large. 1. my youth was NOTHING like what she sings about. Like polar opposite teenagers truly and my younger self doesn't connect to or relate to anything she sings about. it's entirely too earnest for me then and now, but thats just my personal thing! not a value judgement. 2. she has the post-lorde whisper/raspy/talk singing voice that makes me SQUEAL with laughter when i hear it. idk your age, or if this is now a dated reference, but it's the bananies & avocadies vine voice lmaoooo sorry! It sounds so silly to me because of that vine (rip) and HE WAS prophetic was he not??? sooooo many gen z girls sing like that and it's borderline unlistenable to me because of my brain worms. 4. at this point, if all of the above are also true, and all you have left is "sad story about a boy happened to me", sorry to say but genuine heartbreak songs about boys from girls are just white noise to me. I've been a full blown lesbian for so long at this point, NEW content about women genuinely, earnestly weeping over men just doesn't connect and i can't sympathize or relate or bring myself to feel any type of way about it. that's just not my world, sorry you're going through all that or sorry that happened to you, it sucks and it's terrible, but i'm not interested in engaging with that content. men, straight ones especially, are ancillary at best in my world. you have to be a legacy artist to move me whilst singing about A Man, someone who snuck in early and earned my favor before i realized i was a lesbian (hence the topic of this blog lol). again, not a value judgement! just my personal taste.

about the song itself, it just sounds like driver's license the sequel to me, which is great and not a knock! it makes sense to me strategy-wise. it worked the first time, so if it ain't broke, use the same release strategy for the next album. seems like she has a decent team behind her who are setting her up for success which is great! there are some solid lines in it, but at my geriatric age (over 30 lmao) i'm extremely sensitive to clunky lyrics. blame the near perfectly threaded and composed early taylor work for that i suppose, although i'm sure there are others at fault. a half-formed idea or a half-committed idea turns me off so quickly, and the mixed metaphors in the chorus (?) of the song really make me itch. "sold me for parts" and then the vampire metaphors about consuming conjure totally different imagery and dynamics and the friction between them i find jarring. both are interesting and i would have loved to have seen the depths of each plumbed creatively! commit to one and explore the ways you can weave that metaphor with reality to really pack a punch! however it sounds like a very sensitive situation that she went through so perhaps clarity in songwriting is not possible for this event in her life. idk much about her but that's what i gleaned at least. (WCS is wayyyyyy better and more fully formed and articulate than dear john, to give you an example)

I totally recognize her prominence and am happy for her and all her success! This is not a hater post, i don't have any ill will towards her. i'm not annoyed by her. I don't think about her, unless asked, tbh. i think she's an amazing figure for younger fans to have in their pop culture life and i wish her all the success and happiness in the world!

[qumiiiquinnquin]

it seems likely that i wont be able to drive and get a drivers license

i went to the dmv today , and they have those eyecharts right there at the windows , for people that come to get a drivers license ((i just needed to get an id today))

while i stood at the window i had to go to , i looked up at one of the eyecharts , just to see if i could see any of the letters on there.

i couldn't. the only letter i could pick out was F , and im not even sure it was F because it could have been a P. thats very bad. that was at the window , with my glasses on , and i could only pick out one letter that i dont know if i saw it right

my dad has been really pushing for me to get a car soon and start driving. i cannot drive if i can only see one letter on the eyecharts at the dmv , and there's really nothing i can do about it if im denied a license due to my eyesight.

i told him about my time at the dmv today and my struggle to read the eyechart , and he and my grandpa both suggested we take me in to my optometrist , but i dont think constantly tweaking my prescription would really help. its also pretty close to the highest a prescription can be. if they did any tweaking to make it better , it'd probably give me a headache and nausea with how powerful the lenses would be. my current ones made me feel sick for a couple days when i wore them but i eventually got used to it , but im afraid to bring my prescription any higher.

my family agrees , so the only options left are really to see the surgeon who had performed both of my eye surgeries when i was little , and to go to another optometrist somewhere who could really help in making a judgment call if i can drive or not

at this point , a surgery for me is more optional. we cant really say if i need one because we dont really know what else they could really do to help , and ive been fine without another surgery so far since my first two surgeries , even though my eyesight has always been bad and caused me problems.

in my two surgeries , the muscles of my eyes were tightened so i did not constantly cross my eyes when i looked straight ahead due to my esotropia , and did limit the shaking of my eyes a little bit , though the nystagmus cannot be as easily treated via surgery as my strabismus.

i personally do not know what else could be done to help my eyesight via surgery. i dont think anything could really be done to help my depth perception issues and my near-sightedness.

so. im probably just not going to be able to drive in my life.

[lixiesfreckless]

literally reblogging this and am typing my thoughts as I read cause I KNOW I’m gonna love this so here we go!(spoilers under the cut)

ngl I loved reading about all of the driving facts at the start. that was such a good way to start the story, and then juxtapose it all by pointing out how BAD you were at driving lmaoooo

the “I don’t think God wants you on the road” bit was too good.

“Per lesson?!” you cried. “Just for someone to tell me where to turn and brake? I can’t afford that!”

PLEASE this is literally why my parents made me wait until I was 18 for me to get my license(that and covid screwed us over), because if you want to go for it when you’re a minor you have to take Behind The Wheel, which is a driving course in the US for underage drivers and it costs a few hundred. I was so jealous of my friends that could afford it and get school parking passes ughhhh

“How’re the driving lessons going?” Junhui asked, still nose-deep in his anatomy textbook.

I just want you to know that I found it sexy that Jun was taking an anatomy class…moving on ajdhsjsha

“You can’t just say ‘perchance,’ dude,” one of the guys setting up the TV said.

I BURST OUT LAUGHING, this whole exchange made me smile so hard. not only is that one of my favorite jokes ever but everyone talking in that scene just felt so natural uGH you’re great

You chose the pink blob named Kirby.

as someone who is an inexperienced smash player and mains Kirby, I feel extremely called out rn. did you wire tap my house, perchance?

“Okay, no more talking,” he ordered. “I know you’re very hurt right now, but you’re gonna feel even worse if I start laughing at your lips, so don’t make this harder for me.”

AND THATS ON KEEPING IT REAL CAUSE PLEASEEEEE if I was Soonyoung and I had already deduced that you were okay, I would be laughing by capital A ass off at you trying to speak normally omfg

“I’m the hall monitor.”

this entire scene deserves an Oscar. the nonchalance, the commitment to the bit, the way Jun corrects you and lets you know that he was in fact, asking you out, it all had me giggling and kicking my feet. I would watch this if it was a movie fr

To be a woman was to perform. You were currently performing an illegal U-turn

IF YOU DONT STAND UP RN SO I CAN DAP YOU UP, CAUSE THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST TWO-LINER IVE HEARD IN A WHILE

Soonyoung had put his Crocs in sports mode.

listen if Crocs has a million haters I’m one of them. if Crocs has one hater it’s me. if Crocs has no haters I’m currently floating in a Crocless heaven, but when I tell you I nearly SPAT OUT MY DRINK READING THIS LIKE NOTHING COULD HAVE DIFFUSED THE TENSION BETTER, AUTHOR YOURE AMAZING

“Officer Hong,” he answered flatly.

IM GONNA KMS BECAUSE I DID NOT SPEND THE LAST WEEK WRITING JOSHUA HONG ROM COM ASS FANFICTION ONLY FOR HIM TO BETRAY ME AND COCKBLOCK US IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE THIS IM GONNA EVAPORATE INTO THE STRATOSPHERE

The man you almost ran over was your examiner.

no. please god no examiner Jeonghan would fail me before even getting into the car

closing thoughts

ohhhh my gosh so this is what it’s like to have two members of your bias line written by one of the best authors on the platform. I can’t express to you how much this silly story made my afternoon, how much it made me laugh, and gasp, and scream in excitement. you might have noticed that I stopped leaving comments during the smut scene and that’s because my brain just flat out STOPPED working *cough cough princess cough cough*. this was a lovely read, and I’ll be returning several times in the coming weeks for sure.

thank you for writing it,

bubbles <3(was @hyunjins-red-lights!)

driving lessons for dummies

❝ i can't parallel park, but i know all the lyrics to 'driver's license' by olivia rodrigo now. ❞

PAIRING ▸ kwon soonyoung x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, humor, smut, strangers to lovers au, college au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, weed consumption, mc has the worst luck imaginable, soonyoung is down horrendous, there is a minor car crash, very minor description of blood, hurt/comfort, almost car sex, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), grinding, oral (fem. receiving), praise, lots of teasing, overstimulation, pet names (both sexy and unsexy), friend group shenanigans

SUMMARY ▸ you've finally passed your written test and gotten your permit after six failed attempts. eager to get your license while attempting to avoid overpriced driving lessons, you enlist the help of kwon soonyoung, who only requires a STIIZY pod as payment.

PLAYLIST ▸ new romantics by taylor swift • see you again by tyler, the creator, kali uchis 

WORD COUNT ▸ 16,834 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this is representation for all the girlies out there who can't drive. not me but

ONE OF THE MOST COMMON STEREOTYPES PERPETUATED AGAINST WOMEN WAS THAT THEY WERE DEEMED TERRIBLE DRIVERS. 

That, or they just flat-out couldn’t drive to save their lives. 

This sexist notion dated back to when the automobile was created, when driving was physically demanding work and men insisted they handled operating the vehicles themselves. Now, though, plenty of women drove just fine, but misogyny was the only thing keeping the stereotype relevant. 

After all, the only reason why women were considered “bad drivers” was because a man decided they were.

Screw all the women who revolutionized the automobile industry, right? Despite them being highly discouraged to take on the labor required of men, it was Bertha Benz who drove the furthest in a motorized carriage than anyone else. It was Anne French who was the first woman to receive a driver’s license. It was Marget Wilcox who invented the car heater, Mary Anderson who created windshield wipers, and Hedy Lamar who designed the wireless transmission technology that made the innovation of the GPS possible.

No matter how high that glass ceiling was, even if a woman demolished and obliterated it to pieces, there would always be a man out there who would push her right back down. 

Unfortunately, you were nowhere near smashing that glass ceiling because you had failed your permit test six times. 

Yes, it was embarrassing, but you were determined to get your license. At your age, it was getting ridiculous that you had consistently failed your permit test this many times. Plus, you were getting tired of asking all of your friends for rides. You envisioned picking them up in your new car with your shiny new license, grinning smugly at the shocked looks on their faces.

“I don’t think God wants you on the road,” Wen Junhui, your best friend since middle school, said as he dropped you off at the DMV. “If you fail a seventh time, I would personally just use public transportation for the rest of my life.” 

“If a sixteen-year-old can pass it without studying, then I can pass it,” you insisted. “Plus, I read the entire manual last night.”

“Yeah, except the sixteen-year-old passed it on their first or second try, and this is your seventh.” 

“Well, seventh time’s the charm, right?” 

“Right,” he replied, doubtful. He stopped the car in front of the DMV to let you out. “Well, good luck. I’m gonna go get gas and I’ll come back for you.”

“Thanks, Jun!” you chirped. “I swear I’ll pass it this time.”

“Sure.”

“Have some faith in me, please.”

When Junhui drove away, you steeled your nerves to mentally prepare yourself—not for the test but for interacting with the DMV employees. You weren’t a fan of being verbally abused by them, especially after having them roll their eyes at you the last six times you had to tell them you failed. 

But today would be different. 

Thankfully, the DMV wasn’t too busy today. You only had to wait twenty minutes until they called your number. After handing them the proper paperwork, you were directed to the computers to take the permit test. 

Since you were an adult, you only needed to get 30 questions correct out of 36. You had learned your lesson by now, so you actually studied the handbook this time. It took a while to admit to yourself that you weren’t blessed with common sense. 

First question. Wrong. 

Second question. Wrong. 

Third question. Wrong. 

What was happening?

By the time you had gotten five questions wrong in a row, your hands were shaking. The pressure started to set back in, and you were terrified about failing this exam a seventh time. Junhui would be so disappointed if you told him you failed again. 

You felt the back of your shirt cling to your skin once the sixth question was incorrect. This was ridiculous; you had studied, but these questions were strangely specific. It was like someone at the DMV had it out for you. 

Maybe Junhui was right. Maybe God didn’t want you on the road. 

You felt like your brain had entered auto-pilot to protect yourself from the discouraging loss of your permit yet again. You clicked through the rest of the questions mindlessly, hardly thinking about anything until— 

You passed! 

The white screen flashed in your face for about a minute before you could register it properly. All you could do was blink and stare until you pinched your wrist to make sure you weren’t seeing things. 

Had you really gotten the rest of the 30 questions right after your consecutive failed attempts? You were so worked up over the six you missed that the rest felt like a blur. Maybe the problem was that you had been overthinking the test this entire time. 

“I did it,” you breathed out to the woman at the counter, still in disbelief. “I passed.” 

“Congratulations,” she replied with little enthusiasm. She turned to grab papers from her printer, stapled them together, and handed you your brand new permit. “Have a nice day now.” 

“Thank you so much,” you replied, slightly distracted as you inspected your learner’s permit with wide eyes.

You had been waiting for this day for so long, and here you were, holding the permit you had spent years trying to obtain. You could only imagine how thrilled your parents and friends would be once they found out. 

Speaking of friends, when you checked your phone, you saw that Junhui had texted you five minutes ago that he was parked outside. He probably expected you to walk out with a gloomy expression and slumped shoulders, but you had a skip in your step this time. You finally had good news for your best friend. 

“Jun!” you yelled before you even opened the door to the passenger’s seat. “Jun, Jun, Jun, Jun!”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he said sympathetically, but something about his automatic response definitely felt practiced, “you’ll get it next time.”

“No, Jun, I passed!”

His eyes went wide. “You did?!” 

“I did!” You squealed and practically jumped into the seat. Sinking back, a wide grin stretched across your face. “I finally did it.” 

“Yo, congrats.” Junhui grinned. “I guess the seventh time really is the charm, huh?” He started his car to pull out of the parking lot. “Well, now you just have to pass the driving test.” 

Your face fell.

You had been thinking about the permit test for so long that you forgot there was an actual driving component, too. 

First of all, you had never driven a vehicle in your life, not even illegally with friends. Second of all, you had terrible depth perception, which was probably not a great flaw to have if you wanted to drive. Thirdly, everything you prepared for the permit test had completely ejected from your brain. Your road sense was back to utterly clueless. 

“I’m gonna fail,” you said, defeated. “Jesus Christ, Jun, I didn’t even think about the actual driving test!”

“Relax, driving’s easy once you get the hang of it,” he replied. “What you should really be worrying about is how expensive those lessons are.” 

“How much are they?” 

“Uh, like, close to a few hundred.” 

“Total?” 

“No, per lesson.” 

“Per lesson?!” you cried. “Just for someone to tell me where to turn and brake? I can’t afford that!” 

“I’m guessing most of it is because they’re willingly sitting in a car with someone who doesn’t know shit about driving,” he explained, “but, yeah, it’s a crazy price. You do need to get that license before your permit expires, though, and you should probably get it done while you’re still here for college so you don’t run over the elementary schoolers back home.” 

You buried your face in your hands and let out a loud groan. “How am I gonna dish out hundreds of dollars? I don’t have that kind of money to spend when I have rent to pay off.” 

The corner of Junhui’s mouth lifted, more so exasperated than amused when he said, “I think I might know a guy.” 

Kwon Soonyoung. 

Junhui sent you his number after he dropped you off at your apartment. Apparently, Soonyoung was one of his good friends who also happened to have a side gig where he gave out driving lessons at a discounted price. Of course, the downside was that Soonyoung wasn’t exactly certified to teach people how to drive, but he was allegedly a good driver.

His lessons were normally for high schoolers, and he charged their parents around a hundred. For adults over the age of 21, though, he had a special offer that you couldn’t resist. 

You texted him to ask if he had any open spots for you. He took a few days to reply, but you eventually got a two-hour slot for the next week. You weren’t sure how effective his lessons would be, but you figured you would give it a shot since he was your age and giving out classes for cheap. 

When the day of your lessons rolled around, you were slightly anxious while you were waiting for him to arrive. You needed Junhui to reassure you for hours last night, promising that no, Soonyoung was not going to kidnap and murder you. He was a student at your university, actually, and he was a public health major who never had a murderous thought in his life.

soonyoung (driving instructor): i’m outside your house 

Okay, if he wasn’t a murderer, then the least he could do was not text you like one.  

After replying with an omw that autocorrected to On my way! and left you feeling very distressed that your communication sounded overly-enthusiastic, you worked up the courage to walk outside to his Honda Accord. 

“Hi,” you greeted shyly when you opened the door. “You’re Soonyoung, right?” 

Honestly, you didn’t care if he was Soonyoung or not. The man sitting in the driver’s seat was probably one of the most attractive people you had ever laid eyes on. Even if he wasn’t Kwon Soonyoung, you would happily let him kidnap you. Maybe you’d even blush a little because he picked you of all people to kidnap. 

He turned to look at you, seeming a little surprised that you opened the door but smiling nevertheless. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re Y/N?” 

When you nodded, he got out of the driver’s seat and motioned for you to take it. You skirted around the car to sit inside while Soonyoung took the passenger’s seat. 

You also got a glance of his off-brand, beige Fear of God Essentials sweater that read M.I.L.F. Hunter instead. Classy. 

“So, you came to me because you didn’t wanna give up your semester’s worth of college tuition for driving lessons,” Soonyoung said with an overwhelming air of confidence. 

“Yeah, pretty much.” You huffed. “Here, I heard this was your payment.”

You handed him a paper bag, not bothering to take out the receipt from the dispensary. Inside was the King Louis XIII STIIZY pod. One gram. 

“Ah, good. You know your stuff.” 

Soonyoung hummed as he examined the box, and you were just wondering when he would get to business and start showing you the controls in his car. You were slightly overwhelmed by his impressively relaxed demeanor. Maybe it would have been better if you settled for an uptight woman in her sixties. Pretty boys were always trouble. 

“You made the right choice coming to me. I’m a much better driver than those hags from the driving schools around here,” he continued. It was like he could read your mind; it was almost terrifying. “Plus, way less likely that I’ll get a heart attack in the passenger’s seat.” 

He was a total weirdo, but he was hot, so you supposed it canceled out in some obscure, mathematical sense. 

“That’s… good to hear, I think,” you replied. “So, are you, like, good at this?”

“Are you kidding? I’m basically the Lebron of driving.”

“I see.” You nodded along, unsure. “I don’t watch football, so…” 

“He plays basketball, but close enough.”

After spending about thirty minutes explaining all of the controls—from hand signals, to the dashboard, to the indicator—Soonyoung decided it was time for you to start driving on your own. You didn’t expect to move this quickly; actually, you didn’t think you’d even start driving until your second lesson. Thankfully, you gathered most of what Soonyoung had taught you, so you mustered up the courage to press your foot on the brakes and move the gear shift into drive. 

You looked over at Soonyoung expectantly, waiting for him to give you the green light to start driving. The boy only raised a brow at you, wondering why you hadn’t started driving yet. 

“Today would be nice,” he remarked.

“Uh, should I start now?”

“Sorry, I don’t have a starting pistol for you or anything.” He made a finger gun with his hand and pretended to fire. “On your mark, get set—”

“Okay, going,” you replied quickly, flushing with embarrassment. You pressed down on the accelerator and gasped as the car lurched forward. “Sorry!”

“Slowly!” Soonyoung cried out, holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle, which you found highly unnecessary and felt somewhat offended about. “Press down slowly—gentle.”

The next hour of your lessons was a learning curve, to say the least. In your defense, it was your very first time driving, so you didn’t know you were actually supposed to look behind you before you switched lanes. Although Soonyoung kept reminding you, his instructions kept slipping your mind because you were focusing on several things at once. 

You sucked.

You were probably honked at around eight times and flipped off twice. It was a humbling experience, really. There was only so much a DMV victim could take, so you eventually had to pull over and try not to cry while Soonyoung consoled you. 

“C’mon, you probably didn’t even do anything wrong. It’s just their road rage,” he said, trying to duck his head to get a better look at you while you had your hands covering your face. “Plus, all those assholes were driving way over the speed limit. You were the responsible one back there.”

You sniffled, sucking in a shuddering breath before you gathered your composure. It wasn’t like you to be so vulnerable in front of a stranger like this, but it was probably the nerves of your first time driving coupled with the nerves of driving (and potentially damaging) someone else’s car. 

“You’re right.” You wiped at your damp cheek. “Fuck them. They couldn’t pass a driving test if they tried.”

“Well, technically, they already have.” 

“Not helping.”

He smirked. “Are you good to keep driving? Or do you wanna wrap this session up for today?” 

“Let’s keep going.” You set the car in drive again, but you looked over at Soonyoung before you did anything else. “Thanks, by the way. I’m guessing most of your students don’t usually pull over to cry during their lesson.” 

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t say it’s happened before, but it’s not a bad thing.”

It was a good thing that you were able to hide your blush from Soonyoung. With the clearly embarrassing impression you were making on him, it would have been mortifying if he found out that he was also making you flustered. 

For the next thirty minutes, you slowly started to get more comfortable behind the wheel. Soonyoung was thankfully not overbearing as most instructors normally were, so you didn’t end up flinching every time he spoke. 

He made light conversation to make you feel at ease, which you appreciated greatly. At first, you just nodded or hummed in response, as you were too afraid to do anything but stare at the road ahead, but you eventually steeled your nerves and replied with actual words. Soonyoung was a natural conversationalist, so you didn’t have to worry about your awkward pauses or stumbling over your words. He led the conversation, sharing random tidbits of his life that you wouldn’t expect to hear from someone the first time you met them. 

Everything seemed to be going perfectly normal until Soonyoung started queuing songs to play. 

The problem wasn’t the music. The problem was that Soonyoung had stopped teaching you to drive, allowing you to fend for your life while he sat back and relaxed. You weren’t sure if normal people were able to loosen up so easily while being driven by a complete amateur. 

Soonyoung must’ve been from a different planet, you decided. Some planet out there that deemed him the Lebron of driving. 

“Uh,” you started, “aren’t you gonna tell me where to go?” 

Soonyoung opened his mouth, as if he was going to ask what you meant, but then his demeanor completely shifted. 

“Pull over to the curb,” he instructed, “now.”

“What?” Your pulse raced, and you were scared that you had fucked up somehow. You checked your mirrors to make sure you hadn’t cut anyone off or anything, but there was no one behind you. Swallowing thickly, you pulled over to the curb as best as you could and parked the car, shooting your driving instructor a nervous glance. “Did I do something wr—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Soonyoung whispered, silencing you with a wave of his hand. “This is the best part.”

Your jaw clenched as Olivia Rodrigo’s vocals were drowned out by Soonyoung’s off-key singing. This was why he wanted you to pull over? 

“I knew we weren’t perfect but I’ve never felt this way for no one!” he belted out. “C’mon, sing with me—oh, and I just can’t imagine how you could be so okay now that I’m gone!”

You folded your arms across your chest. With a reluctant sigh, you gave in and started singing along with Soonyoung. 

You weren’t exactly ready for your driving test, but after two more lessons with Soonyoung, you felt more confident about being on the road. Sure, you almost ran over a pedestrian once and drove on the wrong side of the road the other day, but at least you were capable of handling a vehicle mostly by yourself. 

There were times where you wondered if your driving lessons would be more productive with a proper instructor, not Soonyoung. He surely knew how to drive (save for when he went over the speed limit and only slowed down when he saw a cop car), but he was more focused on messing around instead of actually teaching you. You were pretty sure that he saved his proper instruction for high school students with parents, and you were just someone he liked to mess around with. 

That didn’t stop you from scheduling another lesson with him, though. It was going to be another trip to the dispensary for you.

“How’re the driving lessons going?” Junhui asked, still nose-deep in his anatomy textbook. 

The two of you were preparing for your upcoming midterms in a study room, but all you could think about was the little notification on your phone screen telling you that Soonyoung requested to follow you on Instagram. How long were you supposed to wait until you accepted his request? Would it be weird if you followed him back right away?

“I can’t parallel park, but I know all the lyrics to ‘Driver’s License’ by Olivia Rodrigo now,” you answered. “I’ve also been honked at thirteen times.”

You counted. Mostly because each honk kept you up at night, staring up at your popcorn ceiling, wondering why everyone (a driver who probably didn’t even remember your face) hated you. 

“Ah,” Junhui mused, smiling a little to himself, “so it’s going well.” 

“I wouldn’t say that,” you mumbled. “But he’s nice. He doesn’t make me feel like crying. I think my dad would make me cry.”

Your phone buzzed while Junhui started going off on a tangent about how your dad was, indeed, a scary man. (There was an incident during parent’s weekend in freshman year where your father walked into your dorm room to see Junhui sitting on your bed. Completely misunderstanding the situation, your poor friend got lectured for almost an hour.) Soonyoung’s contact name flashed across your screen, and you were itching to read his text. 

Once you and Junhui settled back into studying, you turned on your phone to check your messages.

soonyoung (driving instructor): i see you in the first floor study room soonyoung (driving instructor): come to the second floor study room for a good time

Terrifying. But you were intrigued. 

After excusing yourself for a moment, making some lame excuse about needing to use the bathroom, you slipped out of your study room to head upstairs. You realized you had never actually seen Soonyoung on campus before, so a strange feeling of excitement consumed you, making your body feel light and your chest feel giddy. 

Outside one of the study rooms, you heard echoes of laughter and conversation, which made you feel instantly nervous. You were invited, though, so you steeled your nerves and opened the door cautiously. 

“Hi,” you greeted quietly, glancing over at the three strangers before your eyes landed on Soonyoung, who grinned once he saw you. 

The four of them weren’t exactly studying. Two of them were fiddling with the flatscreen fixed to the wall, trying to connect a Nintendo Switch to it; one of them was sliding joy-cons into controllers; and Soonyoung, who had his legs kicked up on the table previously, was standing up to walk over to you. 

“You came!” His tone made it seem like he was doubtful that you’d actually show up, so you were glad to prove him wrong. “Oh, yeah, this is Seungcheol and Mingyu”—he gestured toward the two who were setting up the TV, and then he pointed at the guy with the joy-cons—“and this is Seungkwan.”

“Hey,” the three of them chorused in broken unison. 

“Wanna play Smash Bros with us?” Soonyoung asked. “Perchance.”

“You can’t just say ‘perchance,’ dude,” one of the guys setting up the TV said. 

“I think it’s applicable, Mingyu,” the other guy said, whom you now deduced was Seungcheol. “Conceivably.”

“There’s no reason for either of you to use the words ‘perchance’ or ‘conceivably’ at all,” Seungkwan chimed in. 

“Ignore them,” Soonyoung said, holding the door open wider for you before you even gave him an answer. “They’re just idiots.” 

“You’re the biggest idiot here!” Seungcheol protested. He turned to you and explained, “He’s, like, the final boss idiot.” 

Mingyu snickered. “Final idiot.”

You found yourself giggling a little, distracted by their banter as you walked inside the room and sat down in one of the empty chairs. Soonyoung slid into the one next to you, even though he was sitting next to Seungkwan earlier. You were glad that none of his friends made you feel like your presence was strange or unwelcome, but you still couldn’t help but feel awkward. 

While Soonyoung was asking Seungcheol if he had finished connecting his Switch to the TV, you pulled out your phone to text Junhui. 

y/n: i’m playing smash bros??? with soonyoung on the second floor y/n: wanna join?

jun: my anatomy midterm is in 3 days, 2 hours, and 26 minutes and all i know rn is that tissues are to wipe my tears after i fail this exam, negative feedback is all im getting back from my professor, and brain cells r what im deficient in  

y/n: ok damn i’ll take that as a no

jun: i’ll be in here for the next 3 days whenever u decide to come back 

y/n: it’ll take an hour tops y/n: pls don’t camp here for 3 whole days 

“Jun’s not coming,” you announced. 

You heard a chorus of groans. 

Great. They were all Wen Junhui fanboys. 

After Mingyu and Seungcheol finished setting up the Nintendo Switch, you watched Soonyoung and Seungkwan play the first match. Seungkwan chose Villager (which was sort of fitting for him, actually) and Soonyoung chose Donkey Kong. You honestly had no idea how Smash Bros worked, so you were completely lost while you watched their characters fly around and knock each other off the platform. 

Soonyoung was screaming at one point, threatening Seungkwan with several promises to knock him out, which never happened. Seungkwan, taking a calmer approach, focused on using several commands while Soonyoung was already jumping out of his chair and on the floor. Mingyu and Seungcheol were on the sidelines, yelling out strategies for them at random and laughing occasionally. 

The match ended with Seungkwan being victorious. Soonyoung had gotten so riled up during the game, but he took his defeat like a champ, congratulating his friend and laughing off his loss. 

You were just amused at how quickly he switched up. 

“You want a turn?” Soonyoung asked you, handing you his controller. 

You hesitated. “Uh, I’m not really good at these kinds of games.”

“I’ll help you.”

You were up against Mingyu. He was a formidable opponent at first glance, but you hoped he wasn’t as competitive as the others. Maybe he would show you mercy because it was your first time playing. 

You held the controller with stiffly-bent arms, holding it up like you were reading a map. Soonyoung didn’t laugh at you, to your relief, but he gently pushed your hands down and showed you what all of the controls were. 

You chose the pink blob named Kirby. You weren’t a gamer by any means, so you had no idea what purpose the pink blob served other than being cute. No one judged you for your selection, though, which you assumed was a good sign. 

“Don’t go easy on me,” you mumbled to Mingyu, who grinned in response. 

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

Your heart raced when the countdown started. It felt like the longest three seconds of your life, and you were starting to regret choosing Kirby, who looked harmless in comparison to Mingyu’s character: Samus. You kept telling yourself that it was okay if you lost; you knew how to handle failure since you were pretty bad at virtually everything. 

Soonyoung was cheering for your victory as soon as the match started. He was an absolute angel for doing so, but you were afraid you were going to disappoint him. 

In Mingyu’s defense, you did tell him not to go easy on you. Unfortunately, the guy really wasn’t holding back at all. In the blink of an eye, you were already astral projecting off the screen. 

“Oh,” was all you could say. 

Maybe you should have swallowed down your pride and asked Mingyu to go easy on you.

Seungcheol playfully punched his friend’s shoulder. “C’mon, dude, it’s her first time.”

“Yeah, why’re you being a dick?” Seungkwan joined in, seeming more excited over having an excuse to target Mingyu than to actually defend you.

“She told me not to go easy on her!” he exclaimed, but no one allowed the poor boy to stand up for himself. With a pout, he turned to you and said, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” You laughed. “I’m just bad at this.”

“Here, I’ll help you for the next round.” Soonyoung scooted closer to you until his knee brushed against yours. You couldn’t help but feel a little hot all of a sudden, but you made no effort to move away. 

The next round started with you dropping from the revival platform. You felt like your brain went into autopilot. You just heard Soonyoung talking in your ear while his fingers kept brushing against yours, telling you which controls were best for fighting Samus. Everything was going in one ear and out the other; you were so flustered that you could hardly think straight. 

You snapped back into reality when you heard three of them screaming, and you looked over with wide eyes to see Mingyu looking shell-shocked himself. 

You won. 

Soonyoung smiled. “See? You’re a natural.”

“No, it was all you,” you replied, shaking your head. It really was all thanks to Soonyoung because you had no idea what the hell you did. “It was probably just beginner’s luck.”

But, even so, a smile tugged at your lips, and you felt elated from your triumph. You thought back to Soonyoung’s hands brushing against yours, nearly swamping yours in comparison, and your chest felt a little warm. 

A little too warm. 

You put a pause on driving for a week and a half, informing Soonyoung that you had to focus on midterms before you could think about your driving lessons. Both caused you extreme distress, so you needed to cut one out temporarily.

Junhui really did camp out in the library for three entire days. You brought him food every day and forced him to go back to his apartment to take a shower. When you watched over his study room for him, Soonyoung would swing by and ask how you were doing. 

Brief interactions, but they were nice. 

You managed to get through your midterms without a single cry session in a bathroom stall. It was honestly a bigger success than your first Smash Bros win. 

Soonyoung and you grew a little closer. Two weeks ago, if someone told you that you would be FaceTiming your driving instructor every night before bed, you wouldn’t believe them for a second. Mostly because you assumed you would get a driving instructor who was pushing retirement age, and video calling someone that old at night sounded a little concerning and borderline adulterous.

You learned a lot about him. His go-to breakfast or midnight snack was Frosted Flakes, and he felt a little empty inside if there wasn’t a box of the cereal in his cabinet. He was loud most of the time, but he often got shy or quiet in loud settings; it was highly dependent on the crowd he was with. His love language was sending you pictures of cute animals and saying it was you two. (You also didn’t like calling this a “love language” because that implied there was something deeper than platonic feelings, which you were too afraid to come to terms with.)

“You have to start driving again now that your midterms are over,” Soonyoung said over the phone one night. He was sulking while you were doing your skincare routine, keeping your phone propped up on your desk. “You’re gonna start forgetting what you learned, and then we’re gonna be back to square one.”

He was (slightly) high tonight and you were the first person he called.

You were pretty sure that had to mean something. Unfortunately, you were too guarded to connect the pieces that were laid out perfectly for you.

“You just miss me, huh?” you joked. 

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

Nothing could have prepared you for that response. 

You felt your cheeks burn, and you had to physically turn around to hide whatever expression was betraying you. You pretended to examine something behind you, but there was clearly nothing there, so you just looked like an idiot. 

You didn’t know what you were feeling. There was a clear difference in your emotions when you spoke to Soonyoung versus when you spoke to his friends. 

You didn’t want to compare Soonyoung to Junhui, who you knew since middle school, but you knew that you didn’t feel anything funny in your chest when you interacted with Seungcheol, Seungkwan, or Mingyu. They were great to be around, of course, but it was only Soonyoung who made you walk with a little skip in your step.

You hadn’t had a proper crush in years. Now, you felt like you were overthinking everything and analyzing every little interaction that could possibly be meaningless. 

It had only been a few weeks, but you supposed there was no exact timeline for these sorts of things—whatever this thing was. 

Whatever it was, though, you were in danger.

“Tomorrow, then,” you said once you regained a sliver of your composure. “Pick me up after your classes.”

“Sure.” He rested his chin in his palm, staring at you with an amused expression. “I’ll bring flowers.”

Possible Ways To Respond: 1. “You’re too sweet! Thank you.” 2. “Flowers? What’s the occasion?” 3. “Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, huh?” 

You went with a secret fourth option.

“Please don’t. I’m allergic.”

True to his word, Soonyoung picked you up after his classes the next day. 

You were pretty sure your lessons had gone over the regular quota, so you stopped by at the dispensary earlier to pick up another pod for Soonyoung. He didn’t look as though he was expecting anything when you got in the driver’s seat, though. In fact, he was perplexed when you handed him the paper bag. 

“What’s this?” he asked, growing sheepish. 

“Your payment,” you replied. “Also, I sort of lied about being allergic to flowers. I’m not allergic to flowers. I don’t know why I said that. I’m allergic to penicillin, though, but I don’t think that sounds remotely close to ‘flowers.’ Maybe I got confused? I don’t know.”

If this was an otome game, you had surely picked the bad relationship ending. Soonyoung’s face fell a little—just enough for you to notice—and you immediately felt guilt swallowing you whole. You meant for your words to sound lighthearted, but maybe they didn’t come across that way. 

But, at the same time, you didn’t know where you stood. Wouldn’t it have been unfair to not repay Soonyoung for the lessons? Was it unreasonable that you weren’t actually expecting him to bring you flowers for no reason?

Soonyoung recovered quickly, though, his smiling eyes crinkling at the corners. “So I can bring you flowers.”

“Hypothetically, you could.”

“But you don’t have to pay me anymore.” He looked into the paper bag, examining the STIIZY pod before scoffing. “If I keep stocking up on these, people are gonna think I’m a stoner.” 

“Well, I have to pay you for the lessons somehow,” you said. “So, if you don’t want the pods anymore, then I’ll have to start sending you money. I mean, what about gas?”

“You don’t have to worry about my gas tank.” He chuckled at your words and sat back to get comfortable. “What you should worry about is not hitting the curb.”

You flushed hotly. “Right.”

The first hour went smoothly. Soonyoung was impressed that you were gradually getting more and more comfortable behind the wheel, and he even congratulated you for changing lanes without muttering prayers under your breath. You were beginning to feel less overwhelmed with everything you were supposed to focus on, and you were certain that you were so close to everything clicking at once. 

That was, until a car crashed right into you on a local road. 

Thankfully, you and the other driver weren’t going too fast, but the force was sure to leave a dent in Soonyoung’s car. The collision wasn’t hard, by any means, but the impact jerked your body forward so that your mouth hit the steering wheel. The sting of pain radiated throughout your gums seconds later, and you winced and cradled your jaw. 

You immediately bubbled with rage as you pulled over to the curb, knowing that you had the right of way and he was supposed to stop and wait for you to pass, but you were still stiff with shock. Soonyoung’s eyes were fierce, looking back at the driver as if he was about to cuss him out, but then he turned his attention to you.

Before you could feel immense, crushing guilt over crashing Soonyoung’s car, you whipped your head around to make sure he wasn’t hurt. You wouldn’t be surprised if he completely ghosted you after this. You were probably the worst student he had ever come across, which was saying a lot considering most of his students were high school teenagers. 

“Y/N, are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked, sounding as frantic as his hands were. You felt his palm against your cheek and his other hand atop your head, making sure you weren’t hurt anywhere. 

“Are you okay?” you blurted out. Your breathing was erratic, and you hardly registered the metallic taste of blood in your mouth. “Oh god. Your car. Oh god, I—” 

“It’s okay, Y/N, it’s not your fault,” he said. “You had the right of—” 

When he turned to look at you again, he just stared, eyes wide and jaw hanging open—almost comically. It almost looked like he was more bewildered by you than the fact that his car was rammed into by another car. 

He was wordless for far too long that you had to ask, “Everything okay?” 

Maybe that was a stupid question. Clearly, everything wasn’t okay, and it had everything to do with the fact that you two had gotten into a car crash.

“I think you loth a tooth,” he lisped—a seemingly joking remark, but his expression was dead serious.

For a split second, a laugh bubbled up in your mouth. You thought Soonyoung must have been messing with you, but it was ridiculous that he could joke around in such a situation. It was when you touched your lip and pulled your hand back to see blood, though, that cold reality washed over you.

Your eyes went wide as saucers as you turned to examine your teeth in the rear-view mirror. 

The worst possible thing that could happen to a woman was happening to you right now. 

Your front left tooth was gone. 

“I-it’s not that bad,” Soonyoung tried, although he sounded unconvinced himself. “It’s cute! It’s like, uh, that dragon—from, uh… How to Train Your Dragon.” 

Your eyes were burning and your throat was closing up, but tonguing the bloodied gap between your teeth sent you over the edge. You had tears streaming down your cheeks and you were gripping the wheel so hard that your knuckles turned pale.

“Toothleth?” you cried, which led to a few choked sobs when you realized that you had a lisp now. Then, you were full-on crying into your hands because sure, you could get over being the reason why Soonyoung’s car had a dent in it, but you were pretty sure there was no replacing a missing tooth. The more you cried, though, the worse you felt as you tasted the blood and heard the faint whistles coming from the gap in your teeth. “I’m tho thupid!” 

Soonyoung was clearly short-circuiting, but you could tell he was desperate to calm you down by the way he was rubbing your back in soothing circles. “Y/N, you’re not stupid. It's okay, we just—”

“Thoonyoung!”

Soonyoung slapped his hand over his mouth to suppress his laughter. He was trying to take you seriously, but the little bursts of laughter that bubbled up in his throat were betraying him. 

You swallowed down your sob and continued, “Ith not okay! I loth my tooth!” 

“Okay, no more talking,” he ordered. “I know you’re very hurt right now, but you’re gonna feel even worse if I start laughing at your lisp, so don’t make this harder for me.” 

You scowled at him, but you kept your mouth shut because Soonyoung was right; you were not in the proper headspace to be laughed at right now. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go outside and talk to the driver who ran into us,” he explained slowly. “I want you to calm your breathing and find your missing tooth. We can drive to the dentist right after, okay?” 

You sniffled and nodded, craning your neck to watch Soonyoung get out of the car to talk to the driver. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath and examined the floor to find your loose tooth. Lo and behold, it was laying next to the gas pedal. You cringed as you picked it up, frowning at how bloody it was in your palm. There were a few napkins in Soonyoung’s glove compartment, so you wrapped your tooth in one and kept it in your pocket.

You heard some yelling from the other driver—something about having kids in the back and how you were going way too fast—and it all just made you feel worse. You felt horrible that Soonyoung had to deal with the repercussions, and after they exchanged insurances and the guy drove off, you got out of the car to see the damage. 

Surely enough, there was a decent-sized dent in the side of his car. It was right where the back door opened, and you burst into tears at the sight of it. Soonyoung wouldn’t have to deal with all of this if he wasn’t teaching you to drive.  

Still, he wrapped his arms around your shaking body and pulled you in close. He rested his chin on top of your head and sighed. 

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “The insurance will cover the damage. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“What about my tooth?”

“Okay, maybe there’s one thing to worry about.”

You leaned into his touch when you felt his hand carding through your hair. His motions were slow and gentle, as if he was trying hard to make sure you didn’t notice the gesture. You did, though, and you appreciated it. 

You started, “I’m—”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” he interrupted. You thought he was going to say something cheesy about how you had nothing to apologize for, but he continued, “You’re gonna say thorry, and I’m not gonna be able to take you seriously.”

With your face buried in his chest, you reached your hand out to punch his shoulder. 

Still, despite his snarky comment and the emotional distress you were experiencing over your missing tooth, a big smile crossed your face and his embrace left a warm, fluttery feeling in your stomach. 

Your heart was beating so fast that you almost thought it would stop. 

“Ew,” was Wen Junhui’s first reaction upon seeing your swollen lip. You could only see the top half of his face over FaceTime, but you were sure he had a look of disgust on. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks,” you replied dryly, holding an ice pack to your cheek. 

Before Soonyoung drove you to a dentist, he scolded you for leaving your tooth wrapped up in a tissue. Apparently, your tooth was going to be fucked if it dried up, so his solution was to leave it in his half-empty water bottle that was left sitting in his car. You weren’t quite sure about this, but the dentist informed you that Soonyoung saved your front tooth. 

If he was with you in the room, you probably could’ve kissed him then and there—bloody mouth and all.

Thankfully, since you didn’t fracture or break any part of the tooth, the dentists were able to replant it into your gums without any complications. They told you it was a good thing you went straight to the dentist instead of waiting. Your front tooth would’ve been a lost cause if you waited another hour. 

It was really all thanks to Soonyoung. 

The procedure was quick and you were told that your avulsed tooth would be back to normal in about a week. The news filled you with relief because you were so sure you were going to be toothless for the rest of your life. 

Not that it was a bad thing. While Soonyoung was driving you to the dentist prior to the replantation, you had come to terms with the fact that you would be missing a front tooth for the rest of your life. You would grow old and tell your children the harrowing tale of how you got your driver’s license and sacrificed your front tooth for it. 

It couldn’t be all that horrible. Maybe you would grow an affinity for whistling.

Thankfully, that was all just your overthinking and your tooth was probably fine now. In seven days, everything was supposed to go back to normal, so you had your fingers crossed for a full recovery. 

“Of course that would happen to you.” Junhui laughed at your misery. “Shit like this only happens to you.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m the pinnacle of terrible luck.”

“So, what happened after? Did you make out with Soonyoung or something?” 

“No!” you exclaimed. Your cheeks started to burn just at the thought. “How do you expect me to make out with someone when I look like this? Soonyoung drove me home like a gentleman. He’s not into me like that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t think I’ll be seeing him for a while, anyway. I don’t wanna start driving again until my tooth is fine.”

“Then maybe you can go on a different kind of ride with him instead.”

“You need to stop.”

You didn’t see Soonyoung much over the next week. He told you that he had a few papers to finish before his schedule would clear up, so you were only able to text him occasionally and see him in passing, exchanging a greeting before one of you had to go. 

You saw his friends a lot, though. They were always in the study room next to the one you and Junhui liked to use, so you would stop by their room often to see what they were up to. They were usually either messing around or using the whiteboard for everything but its intended purpose, so you enjoyed taking study breaks with them. Junhui was the type to not take breaks because he was locked in on his work once he got in the zone, so Soonyoung’s friends were a breath of fresh air. 

Your Current Opinions on Soonyoung’s Friends:

Mingyu: Kind. Approached you whenever he saw you. Pleasant conversations. Swiped up on your Snapchat stories sometimes. Was unfortunately the only person you forgot to block from your story once when you posted a semi-thirst trap just for Soonyoung’s eyes.

Seungcheol: Friendly whenever he talked to you. A little awkward because you once saw him taking selfies at the gym instead of working out. 

Seungkwan: Not super buddy-buddy but sweet enough. Liked making fun of Soonyoung with you. He brought you McDonald’s once and you imagined a future with him momentarily.

Word also got around that your front tooth had been knocked out clean. Seungcheol let it slip when he accidentally referred to you as ‘Toothless’ the other day. You made a mental note to kill Soonyoung later.

The next time you ran into your driving instructor on campus was outside one of your lecture halls. You walked out in the middle of class to fill up your hydroflask. It was especially hot today, and you were seconds away from heat exhaustion. Soonyoung’s brows lifted in pleasant surprise once he saw you, and he missed his elevator to walk up to you.

“Whoa.” You paused for a moment, unblinking. “I keep forgetting you go here.”

“I’m the hall monitor.”

“This is college. We don’t have hall monitors.”

“Self-elected,” was his response. “Speaking of, I don’t see your bathroom pass.”

“I’m not going to the bathroom. I’m filling up my water. Anyway, why would I—”

“Just this once, I’ll let you off with a warning,” he interjected, pulling out a card from the pocket of his jeans. He handed it to you, and you accepted it after a moment of hesitation. “There’s your bathroom pass. Don’t let me catch you loitering around here again.” 

With that, Soonyoung walked off, leaving you utterly confused. 

You flipped the business card around to see his name and number printed neatly in the middle, and you frowned in response. There was some other fine text on the back, but you didn’t take the time to read it properly as you were still baffled. 

“I already have your number!” you called after him, but you just heard your driving instructor laugh to himself in response as he disappeared behind the elevator doors.

Later, after your classes ended, you went back to your study room with Junhui. He had been in the library since morning, deciding to skip his classes to prepare for his second round of midterms that he still had a few weeks for. 

You told him about your encounter with Soonyoung, noting how strange it was that he casually had business cards on hand. Junhui asked to see the card, so you handed it over to him. 

Upon closer inspection, Junhui raised his eyebrows, impressed. “Hall monitor rizz.”

“How was that rizz? He told me it was a bathroom pass and left.”

“Well, I’d consider it rizz since he’s asking you out on a date.”

Heat rose to your cheeks. “You think he’s asking me out on a date?” 

“No, I know he’s asking you out on a date.” Junhui flipped Soonyoung’s business card around to show you the fine print: Schedule our first date with the number provided on the other side of this card. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Says it right here. He’s just shy, Y/N.”

“Shy? Him? He doesn’t look like the shy type.”

“He’s shy,” he affirmed, “around you, at least. I mean, you’d get shy around the person you liked, wouldn’t you?” 

“I guess, but…” you trailed off, shaking your head. “No, this is normal, right? Dates are normal. We’re just two normal adults going on a normal date. Nothing weird about that, right? I shouldn’t feel so weird about this. Do I sound weird? Am I weird?”

You didn’t realize you had gotten up and started pacing until you turned to see Junhui looking at you with concern hanging in his brows. You sucked in a sharp breath and sank back into your seat, burying your face in your hands. 

“I’m in way over my head,” you mumbled. 

“You’re nervous ‘cause you have a crush on him,” he replied. “Nothing weird about that.”

“I have a crush on him,” you echoed, more so to yourself than to Junhui. 

Although you were partly in denial, still tossing and turning the prospect of crushing on Soonyoung around in your head, Junhui took your words as confirmation. He hummed knowingly and turned back to his textbook, leaving you to ruminate for the next thirty minutes in silence before you excused yourself. 

You were currently speed walking to your usual bus stop, hoping you would be able to stop thinking about Soonyoung and the business card tucked into your pocket. However, you couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of you developing a tiny crush on him. 

You hadn’t had a proper crush in ages. The last time you had strong feelings for someone was in high school, which promptly ended following your first date—after an eight month talking stage. You proposed going to the fair, which seemed fine until you threw up on the ferris wheel and received an ‘I don’t think this is going to work out’ text later that night. 

And why were you so flustered over this, anyway? After all, you had been anticipating the day Soonyoung would make the first move. Plus, you were an adult; overthinking your feelings like this was so high school. 

Whatever. You had nothing to lose.

You pulled out your phone to text Soonyoung, a small smile crossing your face once you caught sight of his profile picture again. It was a picture of him with all his hair flying every which way in the wind and his mouth open to yell some profanity. 

y/n: date. y/n: this week any day 

soonyoung (driving instructor): WHOA!!!!!!

y/n: what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day what day

soonyoung (driving instructor): tomorrow night

y/n: okay

soonyoung (driving instructor): okay

y/n: okay.

soonyoung (driving instructor): okay. soonyoung (driving instructor): can’t wait

y/n: me neither

soonyoung (driving instructor): pick you up at 8

y/n: i’ll be ready

soonyoung (driving instructor): i’ll be even more ready

Your heart didn’t stop pounding for the rest of the day.

To be a woman was to perform. 

You were currently performing an illegal U-turn. 

Soonyoung held onto the ‘oh shit’ handle fixed to the ceiling, his face contorted in absolute fear as he repeated, “Wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane, wrong lane—”

“Sorry!” you exclaimed, swerving back into your correct lane after checking your mirrors. You swallowed thickly before saying, “I’ve got it under control now, I think.”

Of course, you had been nervous the entire day and a half leading up to your date with Soonyoung, but how you felt right now had completely reigned over every emotion you were feeling before. 

Throughout the day, you had butterflies in your stomach and a little skip to your step, but now you were terrified of things you had never even worried about before. The reason you took a U-turn in the first place was because Soonyoung told you that you missed the parking lot entrance, causing you to panic in the middle of the road (which, on your part, was not very smart.) 

In short, Soonyoung should not have let you take the wheel, and you should not have gotten this worked up over him planning to take you to the local fair. 

What were the odds that you were back in the place where you had an awful last date? You could almost feel the bile rising up your throat.

Soonyoung’s voice was unnaturally high-pitched when he asked, “A-are you sure you’re ready to schedule that driving test?” 

“Yes! I’m ready,” you said, “but, to make things clear, my driving today is not representative of my driving any other day.”

Somehow, you and Soonyoung wound up making it to the fairgrounds’ parking lot in one piece. You deflated upon hearing the sigh of relief escape Soonyoung’s lips once the car was in park, but it was well deserved. You were surprised he even let you drive in the first place. 

The fairgrounds were packed with people—mostly students—so there were several couples going around with their fingers interlocked. You were now hyper-aware of your fingertips, wondering if you’d get the chance to brush them against Soonyoung’s and slowly slide your hand into his. 

He ended up paying for your ticket, and you didn’t have much room to argue about it because the employee was already taking his card before you even noticed. You told Soonyoung you would pay for something else—food, rides, raffle tickets—but he ended up covering everything for you. Of course, you were sure Junhui would have scolded you because turning down a guy paying for you was apparently equivalent to turning down the guy himself. So, you swallowed your pride and let Soonyoung take the lead. 

You went on a few rides with Soonyoung, shared a churro, and you took a picture in front of the ferris wheel. You were having a great time, actually, and almost all of your nerves had all but melted away. All that was left to deem this a perfect date was to actually ride the ferris wheel, which was exactly what you were absolutely terrified of. 

“Not good with heights?” Soonyoung asked as you two were getting into the seat, pulling down the lap bar for you two. 

You wondered if you looked as ghastly as you felt. “Not so much.”

You weren’t good with a lot of things, to be fair.

Smooth talker Soonyoung took that as his opportunity to slip his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together with a shy smile on his face. “You can close your eyes if it gets scary, or just keep looking at me.”

Honestly, that sounded scarier than the possibility of plummeting to your death from the top of the ferris wheel. You weren’t sure your heart could handle staring at Soonyoung, especially with how flustered his gaze made you feel. 

“Hey, could I ask you something?” you asked, nearly shying away when Soonyoung fixed his gaze on you. “When did you start liking me? I mean, I had no idea.”

“Uh…” The ride started moving backward as Soonyoung hummed in thought. “Probably that first time you were in my car?”

Your eyes went wide. “You mean our very first lesson?”

“Yeah, I thought you were cute—a little weird, but cute.” He grinned. “I think it was when you fell asleep over FaceTime that one night when I started catching feelings.”

Your cheeks burned. You weren’t sure if you could pinpoint a specific moment like he did; you just remembered your heart started beating faster when you saw him one day, and the rest was history. It was almost incredible how blindsided you were by his feelings, even though he had integrated himself into your daily life so naturally.

“And then you posted that one picture on your story once,” he continued, voice growing shy once he realized what he admitted out loud, “and that was when I knew I was really in too deep.”

You blanched with embarrassment. He must have been talking about the thirst trap because that was the only time you ever posted yourself so confidently. How were you going to explain that you blocked everyone else from your Snapchat story just for him to see that?

A nervous laugh bubbled from your lips. “About that—”

Before you could get any other words out, though, you became painfully aware of your surroundings. Your seat started swinging with the strong winds, and you realized that you were at the very top. If you leaned over enough, you were pretty sure your seat would tip over and drop you and Soonyoung right out. The very thought paralyzed you to the core. 

Just as Soonyoung was in the middle of asking if you were okay, the ferris wheel started moving faster, and you yelped and clung onto him as you two went down. You were fine with the slow pace with breaks in between, but now that you were moving at full speed in one go, it was downright terrifying. 

Soonyoung seemed to find it hilarious, though. He laughed and wrapped an arm around you while you were the very picture of fear. You buried your face into his chest and dug your nails in so hard that you were afraid he would feel them through his sweater. 

Finally, it came to a stop. The ride operator started letting people out one seat at a time, but you and Soonyoung had ended up at the very top again. You raised your head to sit upright again, letting out an exasperated breath, but Soonyoung drew you closer. He was still laughing, and it made you blush uncontrollably. 

“Just so you know, I’m good with any other ride!” you tried to defend yourself. “Well, actually, save for roller coasters and drop towers… oh, and—”

“Y/N,” Soonyoung cut you off with a smile, his voice hardly a murmur. Before, you could barely hear him over the excited cries and shouts in the fair, but now your attention had zeroed in on him. You felt disoriented as he placed his warm hand on your cheek, tilting his head and leaning in. “C’mere.”

You were too shy to admit it, but you had fantasized about making out with Soonyoung before. Of course, you never knew what type of kisser he was, so you just settled for whatever fantasy played out in your head.

Now, though, with his lips pressed against yours, you felt something hot and needy stir up inside you as he tugged you impossibly close to his body. Your stomach fluttered when you let slip a whimper, which Soonyoung didn’t let go unnoticed. He pulled back for a moment, his gaze darkening, promising to return to that later, and he returned to kissing you. 

When you were almost near the ground, you and Soonyoung pulled away. There were definitely far too many children and parents around for you two to be kissing like that, but now you were anticipating how things would be once you two were alone. 

“You two have fun?” the ride operator, who appeared to be an older teenager, asked with a teasing lilt to his voice. 

All you could do was nod and duck your head in embarrassment while Soonyoung beamed brighter than the flashing lights. 

You spent some more time with Soonyoung on a few more (tamer) rides before you two decided to call it a day. Your feet were getting sore, so he courteously offered to drive the both of you home. However, you had an itching feeling that he just didn’t want you behind the wheel again. 

“Wanna get something to eat?” he asked once you both were inside the car, and he turned his head around as he reversed. “There’s a good froyo place down the street.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” you agreed quickly. Deep down, you were hoping this date wouldn’t end just yet.

Soonyoung played Olivia Rodrigo’s new album as he drove, rolling the window down so that the wind tousled his hair. You thought he looked cute that way, and you had to keep your hand under your thigh to keep it from reaching over and running it through his locks. 

When he parked in front of the froyo place, it appeared completely dark inside. It was also evidently clear that the only cars parked in the lot were the overflow crowd of people from the fair who couldn’t get a parking spot at the fairgrounds. 

“Did we miss it?” He frowned, pausing to look up the store hours on his iPhone. “Man. I didn’t want our date to end like this.”

“I don’t want it to end, either.”

Soonyoung looked over at you, studying your expression carefully before asking, “Do you wanna chill in the back for a while, then?”

You knew what that meant. And you had specifically worn your matching lingerie set just for this moment. 

You unlatched your seatbelt, and Soonyoung followed suit right after. “Yeah, I’m down.” 

“Wait, there’s something I need to do first,” Soonyoung said in a soft voice, looking down at you with gentle eyes. 

For a moment, your heart jumped to your throat. The way he was looking at you sent butterflies to your stomach, and you couldn’t even imagine what he was going to do next. Something about his tone was so sincere that you were sure he was going to kiss you, especially when he started leaning down. 

You let your eyes flutter shut, waiting for his soft lips to meet yours. Your heartbeat felt like a drum in your ears. 

But nothing happened. No kiss. Nothing. 

You opened your eyes to see what Soonyoung was doing. When you saw him hunched over, fiddling with something near his ankles, your face deadpanned—not a flicker of amusement. 

Soonyoung had put his Crocs in sports mode. 

First of all, wearing Crocs on the first date was absurd.

Second of all, putting your Crocs in sports mode on the first date was absolutely preposterous. 

Yet, it was the perfect thing Soonyoung had done to put your nerves completely at ease. You ended up bursting into laughter at the very sight, making his head shoot up while his eyebrows were drawn together, perplexed. However, he happened to hit his head on the steering wheel as he did so, which only made you laugh even harder. 

Your sudden surge of confidence spurred you to crawl over the gear stick and straddle his lap. Shocked, Soonyoung gripped your thighs and straightened up. Before his lip could curl up in amusement, you wrapped your arms around his neck and slotted your lips with his. 

He broke for air for a moment, breathing out, “Well, hi.”

“Hi.” Your nose gently bumped against his. “Having second thoughts?” 

“No!” he exclaimed, rubbing his hands up and down your sides. “I just didn’t wanna start anything because I wasn’t sure if you were ready.” He threw a glance over his shoulder before looking out the window. “Plus, this place isn’t exactly private.” 

You looked out the window while Soonyoung’s warm hands returned to your thighs. It was true that there were empty cars around, but there weren’t any people in sight. It was still early in the night, so you were sure people would stay at the fairgrounds until midnight. 

“Hey,” Soonyoung started again, “what was that you were gonna say on the ferris wheel? Before we, uh, made out.” 

“Oh.” Shame bubbled in your chest when you realized what he was talking about. “Nothing important.”

“Tell me.”

Moonlight shone in from the window, illuminating the side of Soonyoung’s face and his neck, showing off his prominent collarbones. His low voice reached your core in a way you had never experienced before. You flushed with embarrassment because you were certain Soonyoung could feel how you clenched. 

You looked out the window, as if you could mentally escape through it. Find a way to get out of the situation you were in. 

“Fine.” He huffed lightly before placing a hand behind your neck and drawing you closer. “I’ll just get it out of you, then.”

Notably flustered, you gasped when Soonyoung’s lips latched onto the side of your neck, biting and sucking the tender skin. You croaked out some lame lie about forgetting what you were trying to say, but Soonyoung persisted. He ravaged the column of your neck like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. 

You scooted up on his lap, sitting right on top of his growing bulge, which roused a throaty groan from him. You could feel Soonyoung twitch under you, and it was all that was needed for you to start grinding your hips slowly on his lap. And then he started guiding your hips down onto him. Your breath hitched when you felt his fingers dig into the grooves of your hips to take control of your motions. 

“Tell me,” he beseeched, and you shivered when you could feel his smile against your jawline.

You let out a whine. “It’s embarrassing.” 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, distracted as he looked up at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. His hands never left your hips as he watched you grind down on his lap. Soonyoung’s eyes were unfocused for a moment before clarity bled back into him. “It was about the Snapchat story, right? That one picture you posted.” 

“I don’t remember what that was,” you attempted to lie smoothly, but you were pretty sure your expression betrayed you once Soonyoung slid a hand under your shirt to cup your chest. 

“Yeah, you do. The one where you were wearing those thigh-high stockings.” You saw a flash of darkness in his eyes. “Can’t believe everyone got to see you like that.”

“I wouldn’t say everyone,” you muttered. 

“Hm?”

His thumb, after his hand managed to creep under your bra, found purchase on your nipple, rolling and circling around the supple flesh as he pleased. You only managed to let out a cry before Soonyoung was pressing you further, ordering you to answer him before he made you fall apart. 

You were so caught up in your own pleasure, practically chest-to-chest with Soonyoung, that you hardly noticed the knock on the window until Soonyoung jolted upright and straightened his back. 

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, voice still thick with lust that was ebbing away. Thankfully, you both were still mostly clothed, but Soonyoung had his pants nearly down and you had your shirt riding up past your waist.

The officer stopped knocking to give Soonyoung the opportunity to roll the window down after he was decent. It was evidently an uncomfortable situation for both parties. You turned your head to the side, screwing your eyes shut and hoping you would blink out of existence if you tried hard enough. You never thought you would have a cop at your window before even getting your license. 

“Hi,” he greeted sheepishly once the window was down. “Sorry, we’ll get going now.”

“Yeah, uh…” The officer trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck with a long-winded sigh. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but keep it in the bedroom, please.”

“Thanks…” Soonyoung trailed off, looking for some sort of identification tag. 

“Officer Hong,” he answered flatly. 

“Thanks, Officer Hong.”

“Don’t let me catch you two again.”

“Oh, probably not me, but once she gets her license then it’s over for—ow!” Soonyoung yelped when you pinched him in the side, effectively shutting him up. He immediately apologized, “Sorry, Officer Hong, it won’t happen again.”

The encounter with the police officer was awkward, yes, but somehow, Soonyoung was unfazed once you two had gotten off with the warning. He coolly looked up at you and asked if he could come over to your place tonight. You agreed, of course.

The drive home was perfectly fine. Soonyoung made sure you weren’t too startled by the officer and asked how you liked the fair. You thought it was all pleasant conversation that would continue once you were in your living room, but Soonyoung pinned you up against your front door as soon as you were inside. 

His strong arms caged you in his hold, and you could only helplessly look up at him and warble out some pathetic question, asking if he wanted water or snacks. He turned the offer down, obviously. 

Since you two had already gotten this far, you figured you might as well let Soonyoung in on your little secret. Although it was slightly humiliating to admit, you realized tonight that far more embarrassing things had happened to you. 

“You really wanna know, don’t you?” When he nodded in response, you sighed and explained, “What I posted on my story… I blocked everyone else so that only you’d see it.”

Well, him and Mingyu, but the latter was purely accidental. 

Hearing your words flipped a switch in Soonyoung and he completely froze up, as if he had stopped functioning altogether.

“Well, technically, you and Mingyu,” you rambled on, “but that’s only because I forgot to block him from my story. You know, I have, like, two hundred people on Snapchat, so I figured I’d accidentally skip over someone, anyway. But I don’t think he even paid any attention to it. I feel like he’d—”

He cut you off by sealing his lips over yours, and all the noise in your head simmered down. All the fluff filling up your brain billowed and sank back down. You remembered when you were a middle schooler, giggling and replaying the scenes in movies that were exactly like this. Now that you were actually living in it, though, you couldn’t get enough of Soonyoung. 

He broke away for a breather, lips hanging barely an inch from yours and your foreheads touching. His heavily-lidded eyes found yours, gazing at you longingly through his lashes. 

“No offense,” he started with a smirk, “but I don’t really care about Mingyu right now.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but you shut it as soon as you realized that you had nothing intelligent to contribute. You recognized that most of your mindless ramblings probably killed the mood—for you, at least.

He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your jaw, then the side of your neck. As he moved down to your chest, Soonyoung’s kisses grew sloppier and open-mouthed. He tugged at your shirt, and you helped him remove it with ease, snapping your bra off in the process and letting it fall to the floor. His hungry gaze upon seeing you bare before him made you ache for more. Soonyoung let out a groan and let his tongue drag over your nipple, circling and flicking around the sensitive skin until you were moaning shamelessly.

With his head ducked so that his lips could ravage your chest, Soonyoung bent down just a little bit more to wrap his arms around your thighs. He scooped you up in his arms swiftly, making you yelp, and he walked you to your bedroom after you whispered where your room was. He was so strong that you hardly had to hold onto him, but his strength was a double-edged sword because he had you pinned down on your bed in seconds. 

A grin crossed Soonyoung’s face as his lips returned to your chest. This time, his lips made their way down your body, to your stomach. You curled your hand in his hair, tugged hard because you wanted more, but Soonyoung was relentless with his teasing. He pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses that made you squirm under him and ache for more. They were slow and torturous, and you only grew more needy as he made his way down. 

“Can I take these off?” he asked, fingers slipping into the waistband of your pants. 

“Only if you take your clothes off, too.”

You heard him chuckle before you felt cold air starting to hit your bare skin. Soonyoung unzipped your pants and tugged them down your legs until they were bunched up at your ankles, which you struggled to kick off until he bent down to move the fabric off your heel. You shuddered when he snapped the band of your underwear, hooking his fingers at the sides and twisting the fabric. He sure was enjoying toying with you, and you weren’t sure you could handle any more teasing. After what felt like forever, Soonyoung pulled the last of your undergarments down and marveled at your bare body.

“You’re unbelievable,” he all but growled, running his hands down your sides, to your hips, and past your thighs. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this.”

You sat up, looking up at him with a pout, which only seemed to drive Soonyoung to the brink of madness. 

“You’re still clothed,” you observed.

“Yes.”

“Take it off.” You folded your arms across your chest. “I can’t be the only one naked.”

“Whatever you say, princess,” he replied with a laugh. You supposed he could see your expression falter, nearly letting some pathetic sound fall from your lips, so Soonyoung cooed at you and ran his thumb over your lower lip. “Oh, you like that? Like it when I call you princess?”

You did like it. You liked it too much for your own good, and it was almost humiliating.

Soonyoung towered over you as he peeled off his shirt, grabbing it from the nape of his neck and slipping it off in seconds. Your eyes ran over his beautiful expanse of skin, from every defined muscle in his abdomen to the little goosebumps that pricked his arms. You reached out to run your fingers down his abs, letting them trace each groove and dip in muscle. Soonyoung shivered at your very touch, but he allowed you to make your way down to undo his belt and pants. 

Your fingers were fumbling, but you managed to remove the latch after several failed attempts. He guided you with his steadier hands, but you were determined to do it yourself. Finally, you pulled his belt free and pushed his pants down his legs. 

He seemed to be slightly embarrassed, but Soonyoung was already rock hard. His cock sprang up so that the tip pushed past the waistband of his boxers. 

“Don’t worry about that,” he grumbled, sinking to his knees and placing his hands on your thighs. “I’ll take care of you first.”

He grabbed your knees and pushed them apart, staring at your soaked cunt like it was everything he ever wanted. Soft kisses peppered the inside of your thighs, working up to the apex of your legs. You felt the cold air hit your core and shivered, but then it was hot all over again once Soonyoung licked one long, slow stripe that made you writhe and cry out in bliss. He had to press your hips down to keep you from moving too much. 

But his movements were so slow and torturous. You were going insane by how much Soonyoung was teasing you with his kitten licks and lazy drags of tongue. Tears welled up in your eyes by the time you had been edged away from another impending orgasm, with him letting his dissolve as soon as the heat bloomed under your skin. 

Kissing your cunt. Plunging his tongue into your core. Licking at your walls until they trembled and shook with the warning of release. You were agonized by how good Soonyoung was making you feel.

“Please,” you begged, your voice breathless as your body felt lightweight, “let me cum, please.”

“Hm.” He seemed to consider it for a moment before saying, “Tell me three things you like about me, and I’ll let you cum.”

You laughed, but it died on your tongue as soon as you realized there was no amusement on his face.

“You’re kidding, right?” You swallowed hard, knowing you had your answer already. “Oh, you’re not kidding.”

He was making you work for your orgasm. This was mortifying; you never expected Soonyoung to be so cruel, and you never expected it to be so hot.

“Three things, baby,” he said. “Start with number one.”

“One,” you started, your voice shaky as Soonyoung returned to snaking his tongue past your folds, “I like how you treat me so well and look after me, like—oh, right there—yeah, like that.”

“Two,” you continued, more so in a whimper because Soonyoung was skillfully using his tongue to reach places you never thought to stimulate before. “I, ah—I like the way you look at me and when you tell me I’m beautiful.” You sucked in your teeth when you felt him press his tongue flat against your clit. “Soonyoung, please.”

“One more,” he murmured.

“T-three,” you breathed out, and by this point, your legs were already shaking. Your brain was turning to mush and you couldn’t help but clench at Soonyoung lapping at your soaked cunt. The tremor in your voice was unmistakable when you admitted, “I love how you’re so much better at this than I ever could’ve imagined.”

He breathed out a laugh against your cunt. “Am I really?” He tightened his grip on your hips to suck on your clit, making your back arch and your chest feel light. “You think about me that often, princess?”

“Mmhm,” you confirmed with your eyes screwed shut. “Thought about you whenever I was—”

“Don’t finish that,” he warned, though it almost sounded like he was pleading with you, “or I’ll go crazy.”

Your nerves felt like they had tangled themselves into several knots that kept tightening in your stomach. You shuddered and moaned with each motion of Soonyoung’s tongue that brought you closer to your release. He was merciless with the way he dipped his tongue in your core, rubbing your clit with his thumb in slow circles.

Your walls tightened one last time before you were finally blinded by your white-hot orgasm, and you hardly even realized that hot tears were streaming down your cheeks. Soonyoung was eating you out unabated, not even giving you a break between each wave of pleasure that hit you. After your climax subsided and coherency gradually bled back into you, Soonyoung finally pulled back and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

You grabbed his arm before he could say anything. Soonyoung looked you in the eyes for a moment, alarmed, but the worry knitting his brows together melted away once you pulled him down for a proper kiss.

With your arms wrapped around his neck and his knee between your legs, Soonyoung eventually found himself lowering his body until your chests were pressed together. He kept himself up by his elbows and pulled away to look at you. He brushed your hair out of your face and leaned in for another kiss.

As you two became a tangled mess of limbs, wrapped up in each other and far too occupied to care about anything but making out, you moved your hand down Soonyoung’s abs to wrap your hand around his cock. He groaned against your lips and rocked his hips against your touch. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmured, his voice low and thick with lust. After reaching back to tug his boxers down, freeing his cock from the restricting fabric, Soonyoung looked down at you with desire glazing over his eyes. “May I?”

“Please do,” you answered.

You cried out when he started rubbing the head of his cock against your cunt, teasing your folds like he did before. You were aching already despite your previous orgasm, and you thought you were going to die on the spot from how needy you were.

“Turn onto your stomach,” he ordered. You were confused for a moment, but you ended up being manhandled by Soonyoung, anyway. He flipped you over and positioned himself at your entrance, keeping one hand on the back of your neck. “Good girl.”

The side of your face was pressed into the sheets, and your hands were desperately reaching for anything that gave you proper leverage. You ended up grabbing onto the pillows just as Soonyoung started pushing his cock inside you. You swallowed down the gasp that dared threaten to escape, and Soonyoung pressed kisses to your face and made sure you weren’t crying from how big he was.

With more filth and praises whispered into your ear, you were clenching and unclenching around him, making Soonyoung groan whenever he felt you tighten. It took a while for him to ease his way into you, but once Soonyoung had finally nestled inside of you, it was as if a switch flipped in him.

He was thrusting as soon as you gave him the green light. You were blindsided by how intense he was, hardly having any control over your own body as you held onto the sheets for dear life. Soonyoung held your hips with a bruising grip as he fucked into you.

Hot.

Everything felt hot and sticky. Your sweat-matted hair clung to the back of your neck, and you felt like your sheets were uncomfortably damp. Despite it all, though, you couldn’t get enough. You needed more, wanted more. Soonyoung was relentless, even when your box springs creaked and the frame rattled against the wall. 

You felt his cock twitch inside of you. “Fuck. You’re taking me so well.”

Still overly-sensitive from your previous orgasm, it didn’t take long for you to reach your limit a second time. Soonyoung pounded into you with fervor, and even he was quickly falling apart. 

“That’s it,” he got out, teeth gritted. “That’s my girl.”

You pulled him down for a deep kiss, muffling both of your moans once you were clenching uncontrollably around him. You were falling from your peak and Soonyoung fucked you through your orgasm, even though he was on the verge of one himself. 

He pulled out right before he was about to cum, and you could only hear his groans before you realized he had gotten off, too. For a moment, you thought Soonyoung abandoned you on the bed. His voice sounded distant all of a sudden, and you were too tuckered out to move. 

Then, he returned with a towel and several tissues for you. You turned onto your back again to make out his silhouette entering the room and taking a seat next to you. Your eyes were shut as Soonyoung cleaned you up, and you only opened them once he pushed your hair back and kissed your cheek. 

“Wanna go again?” he asked with a grin. You were impressed by how quickly he was able to recover. You, on the other hand, needed a few minutes to recuperate. “The night’s still young.”

“Yeah, sure, if you use a condom this time,” you breathed out, turning over onto your side. “Just give me five.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting your chest rise and fall until its rhythm steadied. Your breathing was even again, but when you opened your eyes, you saw neon green glowing in the middle of the room. 

“Soonyoung.” You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. You were not getting dicked down by manga censorship. “Why is your dick glowing?” 

“I prefer glow-in-the-dark condoms.” 

Typically, when two individuals had feelings for each other, it would often bloom into a relationship.

It was quite clear that you had feelings for Soonyoung and he had feelings for you, so, naturally, one would expect the two of you to start dating. However, it felt like you both were testing the waters around each other instead—dipping your toes into the dating pool. You two were exclusive, but not exactly together. 

You were perfectly content with taking things slow, but that didn’t necessarily mean Soonyoung didn’t end up over you almost every other night. The sex was great, of course. Mind-blowing, even. 

Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Seungkwan seemed to catch on quickly. There was no mistaking what was going on after you went over to their apartment to play Catan, and then you and Soonyoung disappeared into his room afterward. The next morning, when you walked downstairs in Soonyoung’s shirt to eat breakfast with everyone, you could pick up on their unspoken realization that you were hooking up with their roommate. 

Seungkwan even made an offhand comment about you and Soonyoung being a thing—whatever that was supposed to mean. 

You debriefed Junhui on the entire situation, of course. He seemed less surprised about you sleeping with Soonyoung, though, and more interested in the outcome of your driving test (which, you had to admit, you were terribly worried about). 

The night before your dreaded behind-the-wheel exam, you received a call from Soonyoung.

You weren’t sure what to expect when you picked up the call. You knew that he’d been planning on getting high with his housemates today, so you weren’t exactly sure if this phone call was going to be private or not. You were half-expecting Seungcheol to answer for him instead. 

“Hey,” Soonyoung greeted, voice slightly muffled. With the way the audio sounded, you suspected that he wasn’t holding onto his phone at the moment.

“Are you busy?” you asked. 

“No, just trying to get the pod you gave me out of its packaging.” You heard a few strained grunts from him before he exclaimed, “I got it!”

“I’m proud of you.”

“That’s what I’ll be telling you after you ace that driving test,” he said. He paused for a moment (which you guessed was him taking a hit). “You ready for it, by the way?”

“Not really.” You sucked in a sharp breath. “The good news is that taking years to pass the permit test has helped me memorize all the rules of the road; the bad news is that I have severe anxiety and probably won’t be able to utilize anything I’ve learned.”

“You’ll be fine, Y/N. You drove just fine with me, didn’t you?”

“But that’s you! How am I gonna drive properly with some scary old guy who probably hasn't ever smiled in his life?”

“Just relax. Remember to slow down on your turns and check your blind spots when you’re changing lanes.”

Your voice grew shy when you admitted, “This is gonna sound weird, but I kind of miss our driving lessons.”

“Even when you lost your tooth?”

You grimaced. “Even then.” 

Soonyoung laughed along with you for a moment before he simmered. The silence on the other side of the line didn’t feel uncomfortable, but you felt like each nerve end of yours was on fire. 

“I didn’t want it to end either, Y/N,” Soonyoung said after a while, his voice dropping an octave. 

“Really?”

“I don’t wanna be in a world where we aren’t in a car together, whether I’m telling you to stop driving under the speed limit or we’re crashing into that Honda Civic that knocked your front tooth out,” he started, and you scratched the back of your head. Yeah, he was definitely high. “And, maybe… maybe the missing front tooth was really the catalyst for all the memories we made along the way. Maybe, in another universe, that tooth never fell out—or existed. Maybe the concept of that occurrence manifested into this universe as a—”

“Okay, it was cute at first,” you interrupted, “but you’re definitely in that other universe right now.”

You had never been this much of a nervous wreck.

Actually, scratch that. You were probably this much of a nervous wreck at least thrice a week. You functioned on being anxious several times a day, so this was honestly not a new feeling. The only problem was that you had never driven with anyone other than Soonyoung, so you were slightly on edge as you turned into the DMV.

“Please return my car in one piece,” Soonyoung said, holding onto the ‘oh shit’ handle as you went over a speed bump, which you found highly unnecessary. He pointed to the starting point for the driving test. “I’ll wait for you outside the building over there.”

“Sounds good.”

“And remember: if you’re gonna fail the test, make sure you fail it big time. Don’t fail it by going ten over the speed limit, or something boring like that.”

“That’s terrible advice, Soonyoung.”

“I’m playing. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“Thanks, I’m just so—oh my god!” 

You stepped on the breaks immediately, gripping the wheel tight as the car lurched forward. The man who was crossing in front of you doubled over onto the hood of the car before standing upright again. You rolled your window down to yell an apology, but the man paid you no attention and kept walking with a scowl on his face. 

“I almost killed him!” you cried, slapping a hand over your mouth. 

“Well…” Soonyoung didn’t seem to know how to reassure you as he was still immobilized with fear himself. He managed a shaky grin. “On the bright side, he’s alive and you’re not facing a lawsuit.”

You swallowed hard. There was no way this exam was going to go well. 

After handing in the necessary paperwork inside the DMV, they approved you to go outside for your driving test. Since Soonyoung was letting you use his car while he waited outside, he sat with you until your examiner came by. He did everything he could to calm you down, but, ultimately, it was up to you to pass. 

While Soonyoung was giving his seat up for your examiner, you closed your eyes and tried to take deep breaths to mentally prepare. 

“Ma’am, can you turn on your left turn signal?” the examiner asked from your window. 

When you turned to look at him, you felt something inside you shrivel up and die. 

The man you almost ran over was your examiner. 

In your daze, you managed to follow his instructions as he asked you to point out various things, such as the windshield wipers, defroster, and foot brake. All the while you were already preparing yourself for failure because there was absolutely no way this man was going to let you pass after almost becoming your victim. 

Once the pre-drive safety check was over, he circled around the car to sit in the passenger’s seat, looking down at his clipboard for a moment. You held your tongue, hands clasped together in your lap. Were you supposed to apologize? Would he even care about your apology? It wouldn’t hurt to say sorry, right?

You started in a meek voice, “Oh, about what happened earlier, I’m so—”

“I’m Jeonghan, and I’m gonna be scoring your behind-the-wheel test today,” he cut you off with an air of indifference, looking back down at his clipboard. “Whenever you start the car is when the test begins.”

“Right—yes, okay.” You swallowed thickly and gripped the wheel, looking behind you to make sure no one was coming. Since there were a few cars driving by, you decided to wait for a moment. “A-are you having a good day?”

“I was.”

You wanted to crawl in a hole and drop dead. 

After the road was clear, you turned out of the DMV and started driving down the road, checking your speed and mirrors every so often. You had always been comfortably driving with Soonyoung, who would just help you reroute if you missed a turn. Now, though, if you missed anything Jeonghan said, you were going to fail (and probably die). 

“Take the right coming up here,” he instructed.

You remembered your turn signal and to look back over your shoulder. Soonyoung had taught you well, but you were afraid that his gentle instructions would only take you so far. Jeonghan was the most intimidating person you had come across (mostly because you almost killed him), and you should not have been trusted to drive someone you were terribly scared of. 

After you made the turn, you sighed in relief at the long stretch of road ahead. You attempted to cover it up by clearing your throat and making small talk with Jeonghan. 

“It’s pretty cold today, isn’t it?” you asked. Stupid question. You had no idea how cold it was. Soonyoung’s car felt like a sauna because you cranked up the heater, or maybe the heat was from how nervous you were. 

Jeonghan promptly ignored you. “Change lanes and take the next left.” 

Albeit your state of disarray, you followed what he said. You decided to give up on small talk altogether, coming to the conclusion that Jeonghan just hated you and didn’t want to converse with the person who almost murdered him in cold blood. 

You were pretty confident that the rest of your driving test went horribly. You almost went ten under the speed limit to make sure you didn’t run over anyone else in the school zone, you shrieked when the railroad lights turned on and you had to wait for the train to pass by, and you looked both ways about five times when you were at a stop sign. 

Jeonghan told you to park the car once you reached the DMV, so you pulled into an empty parking space. You were praying that he wasn’t still grading you because you were most definitely occupying two parking spaces right now. 

“Okay, so,” he started, looking at his clipboard before turning to you with a deadpan stare, “you drive too slow.”

Oh. That was intentional because you didn’t want to deal with another hit and run, but you stayed quiet and nodded. 

“And,” he continued, “you overthink too much when you’re behind the wheel. Don’t hesitate before you stop or make turns, or you’re just gonna run into trouble that way. You can’t be paranoid about driving, otherwise it’s gonna be hard for you to be on the road.”

You pressed your lips together in a tight line. This was it. He was going to fail you. There was no way you were going to pass when you were being criticized for your entire performance. You didn’t blame Jeonghan, though; you probably wouldn’t pass the person who almost ran you over, either. 

“Well, you were cutting it really close,” he said, circling some parts of your examination sheet, “but you passed.”

Your eyes grew wide.

You passed.

You passed.

You turned to Jeonghan and cried out, “I passed?!”

“You know your car, you know the rules of the road, and you did all your maneuvers just fine,” he continued. “You slowed down in the school zone to make sure you didn’t hit any kids, and you were careful about your turns and stops. Just remember not to be too careful, though, or you might run into someone.”

For the first time, you heard a small snicker of amusement come from him. 

“I—I’m so sorry about that,” you blurted out. “I thought you were gonna fail me for hitting you with the car.”

“Like I said, the test begins when you start the car.” He handed you your papers and got out of your car. Before closing the door, he turned to you with his clipboard tucked under his arm. “You should go tell the DMV you passed and get your temporary license before I mark you down for this parking job.”

You gulped, unbuckling your seatbelt in a rush. “Will do.”

Jeonghan stalked off to grade another new driver, you supposed. When you got out of the car, your eyes immediately scanned the perimeter to search for Soonyoung, and there he was, waving you over from the sidewalk with a bright grin on his face. 

Before you could even make your way over and break the news to him, he yelled out with his hands cupped around his mouth, “That’s my girl!”

You blushed, stopping in your tracks and staring at him for so long that it took a car honking at you to propel you back into motion. You scrambled over to Soonyoung, eyes wide as saucers and still frazzled from the emotional turmoil you went through with Jeonghan.

He wrapped an arm around you. “You know, no matter the result, I’m proud of you for trying. There’s always next time, you know?”

“Soonyoung—”

“Did everything else go well, though? Other than you almost killing him, obviously.”

“Soonyoung, I—”

“It was probably just bad luck, honestly. I mean, it was a recoverable bump, not even a full-on crash! You were going so slow that anyone could walk that off.”

“Soonyoung!” you yelled, thrusting your score sheet into his hands. “I passed!”

His eyes widened. “You passed?!”

“I passed!” you squealed. “I have to tell Junhui! I mean, he totally thought I was gonna fail my first two or six tries!”

Soonyoung crushed you into a hug, which would’ve been more endearing if your ribs weren’t being squeezed so hard. “Holy shit, Y/N, I’m so proud of you.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck and drawing him closer. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Be my girlfriend,” he spoke against your neck, his hot breath tickling your skin, and you immediately froze.

Kwon Soonyoung wanted to be your boyfriend. Even with everything that had happened—from the STIIZY pods, to the car crash, to the glow-in-the-dark condom—you still felt relief flooding your veins at the thought of Soonyoung liking you as much as you liked him. It almost felt like you were in a dream.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally remembered how to breathe.

You pulled back to look at him, and even though it was the middle of the day, it felt like all the stars were out to make Soonyoung shine brighter than usual.

“Be my girlfriend,” he repeated, softer this time, and his eyes were gentle as his hands reached for yours. Your lips immediately tugged down and your eyes were welling up with tears. “No, no, no, Y/N, don’t start crying at the DMV.”

You wiped at the corner of your eye. “I can’t help it. I always cry at the DMV.” He smiled down at you fondly, waiting for you to gather your composure. You mustered up the strength to lift your head and nod eagerly. “I accept.”

He was your boyfriend now. The word felt strange on your tongue, but it also filled you with inexplicable happiness. And when you saw how Soonyoung’s eyes crinkled at the corners, you thought you could definitely get used to this. 

“You’re so cute.” He laughed, pulling you into his embrace once again. “How about we go get something to eat after you tell them your score?”

You grinned. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

While Soonyoung was waiting in the car for you (and probably readjusting your terrible parking job before he got yelled at), you walked into the DMV and stood in the same line you were in months ago for your permit test. You remembered the anxious feeling of possibly failing your written test a seventh time, but now you felt a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders. 

“I did it,” you gushed to the woman at the counter, handing her your score sheet. “I passed.” 

“Congratulations!” she chirped, examining the papers before turning to type something on her computer. She turned to grab your temporary license from the printer and handed it to you. “Here you go. Your real one should come in the mail in a few weeks.”

“Thank you so much,” you replied, inspecting your new license with bright eyes. 

You failed your permit test six times, only passing on your seventh attempt. While other children were getting their licenses at the age of sixteen, you were still trying to pass the written test in your twenties. And, yes, you had severe driving anxiety, but you crossed that hurdle yourself and finally passed your driving test on your first try. 

So, that glass ceiling? Consider it smashed.

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ thank you so so much for reading if you've made it this far !! :') i've been wanting to write for hoshi for so long and this was just so fun <3 also BIG shoutout to everyone who asked to be on the tag list because although i couldn't respond to everyone (mostly because i figured i would end up tagging everyone twice 🧎‍♀️ ), i mega appreciate your interest ♡ hope everyone's having a wonderful day/night !!

TAG LIST ▸ @wonudazed @delicatewinterenthusiast @aaniag @primoppang @matchahyuck @xiaoting999 @alsktudy @fixonbreakoff @simqly-yunjin @kwonshiho @cottoncheol @nishloves @sarcasticsweetlara @ult-bee @vanishingboots @l2vedive @phenomenalgirl9 @notevenheretbh1 @hopetiger10 @junyangis @fyladymars @lilsafsafbooyah @kwanhaos @alltheshineofthestars-blog

[brninwis]

hi tumblr life update thihg uhh its been a year since ive been on here, and its been a long one.

im currently no longer friends w the people i have been for the past 3ish years. sev and i didnt like this girls bf, and overall weve been having personal issues w the group, and then our confidant decide to snitch to the girl n her bf. apparently they miss us but wtf do you want? the bf or us?

anyways. not much else has happened. im graduating january 25th with a hs diploma equivalent(?) which is very exciting. i failed the entirety of hs just to graduate early. i was a junior with 12 credits and all Fs, skipping school everryday. and now i havent skipped at all.

uhmmm…… my relationship with seven is really good. we get along very well and hes literally the only person i hang out with. we joke abt being friendless and its true…. but at some point we’ll find new ones lol. hs needs to be overr…. uhmmm…. nothing bad w me and sev. weve talked abt my asexuality which was a huge thibg on here, and he accepts it but i feel miserable about it.

if i could choose between being ace and being fucking normal id be normal. its so scary being in a relationship with an allosexual when ur quite literally sex repulsed. like when is he going to get sick of me, when does. it become too much? and he’s a sweetheart, so i know he’d suffer in silence until it gets too much. but is it already too much???

uhmmmm sev has his driver’s license. which is rlly cool!! weve just been driving around.

i did my last show at my hs and sam and i did a speech afterwards. the show was she kills monsters and it was great.

i also did rent at the theater guild this august(?)!!!!

making me think abt my old friends, they claimed they missed us and we dont care abt them anymore, but did u care abt my show? my first ever non high school show and none of my supposed “friends” gave a shit about it. not one single word, or hey thats cool, or ill come see it. yet next chapter they put the fault of our failing relationships on me.

sorry ourr friendship breakup was so messy, i was the villain in the situation even tho there was none.

i havent self harmed in a really long time, i cant even remember the last time!!? before taylor swift which is august. so also before that.

lord i just thought of something i shouldn’t say on here but also wtf? how do i deal with that,, how did i deal with that???????

ive been gaining weight, im almost at my hw….. which is fucking killing me, its a combination of my antipsychotic, birth control, ed, and my boyfriend. its sometimes hard having a bf with the opposite ed you have, and his is more? scary? even though both are. but i care more about his health than mine, and he eats more with me which is good. but also, not good for me. and i can’t restrict bcus then he is too. cat and mouse?

gonna go on a new birth control which goes in my arm.

i cant think of anything else. my life is at a standstill right now, im in between being an adult and a teenager. and its not helping that im graduating early. im just frozen in fear. im excited for thw rest of my life but im also not. uhmmm…

there was supposed to be a major snow storm tonight, but i see no snow. i hope it happens tho bcus i dont want to go to school.

[mojaves]

🚗, 💤 + 🚫 for luci and 🐶 + 🌴 for matty. and 💘 for josie

🚗 CAR — does your oc have a driver's license? can they drive/operate any automobiles/machinery besides cars?

he CAN drive and he can be trusted behind the wheel of a large automobile. a little scary at times on account of being taught by seb [most insane driver ever. btw] but at least he can get you out of a car chase [relatively] unscathed. just hold on to your seat. also has some experience with motorbikes, but i wouldn't trust him to get very far on one of those. he can barely manage a regular bike at the best of times.

💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

he is a VERY!!! heavy sleeper, to the point where he will sometimes need 3 alarms AND also josie hitting him repeatedly with a pillow to wake him up. barging into his bedroom and yelling at him does absolutely nothing. he is like a cat and she has yet to realise she can just spray him in the face with water and that will save them both SO much time. dont tell her that though. let luci rest.

🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

he doesn't smoke and absolutely Hates it as a concept. and WILL tackle seb whenever he sees him smoking. get that thang out of your mouth boy.

he does however enjoy a cold beer and fruity cocktails from time to time, but generally tries to avoid drinking alcohol as often as possible, because his father had. so SO many issues with drinking [which. no one in his family has very fond memories of], and seeing seb fall into depressive spirals and drink nonstop made him realise he doesnt want to experience either of those two extremes at all ever, and if it's already affecting two people in his family, then he'd most likely also be at risk - whether or not thats true, he will never know bc he does not want to test that theory. and i dont blame him.

🐶 DOG FACE — does your oc have any pets?

OUUHH YES back when he was travelling with a nomad family before getting swept up by biotechnica, he had a great pyrenees called mags. and he loved her more than anything else in the entire world. he got her when he was about 18, and they were pretty much inseperable from day one. ate together, slept together, went on jobs together. there wasnt a single second they were apart. unfortunately when biotechnica came along and essentially captured him, he had to leave her behind with the family, and never saw her again ): he would love to get another dog like her one day,,, when he finally has a place he can call his own.

🌴 PALM TREE — does your oc have a green thumb? do they enjoy gardening?

this bitch LOVES plants. ask him about literally any plant and he will go on for a solid 20 minutes about the root system alone. he travelled around a LOT growing up so he's encountered probably every plant the NUSA has to offer at this point. which made him a perfect candidate for watching over the gardens at biotechnica. he did NOT want to work for a corp but,,,, the plants,,,,,..... and he needed the money so he couldnt really say no. but again one day when he has his own place. there will be no room for him there bc it will just be Full of plants. and also dog.

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

oh seb and luci 100000% [and luiza to a far lesser extent. dont even worry about it] without seb basically raising them all by himself and teaching them everything he knew about how to just. be kind and help each other, the three of them most definitely would have ended up dead or worse after he left.seb never gave up on them. and she and luci never gave up on each other, and that's what got them through everything. and i am very normal about them.

[chrysanthemumpink]

It's easy to talk to him. But I I hold back anyway. Everytime he talks to me, I tell myself not to say everything thats on my mind. That's a terrible way to be but I like the way it makes him squirm.

He said he wanted to return the polaroids I gave him. They were the only polaroids I had of myself and they hung in my room's string lights. He picked them of the lights like he was picking apples out of a tree. I would laugh and tell him to put them back. It was one of our many things.

He text me and said that he "found" them and wanted to send them. I know they never left his wallet. They'd sit in the photo holder when we were good, and in the back with his organized punch cards when we wern't. But who knows, maybe whatever girl he was with found them and asked why he still had pictures of his ex behind his driver's license. This wouldn't be the first time.

He never says he misses me. He just sends me songs on Spotify and gives me updates on his cat. I asked him where he'd want to spend forever. He said he didn't know. I said I wanted to spend forever in the Tennessee mountains. It's where I'd like to buy or build home, but it's a place to settle. I'm not going there "until I finish sinning," I said.

"I like the mountains," he said. "Are you finished yet?"

"Are you?" I asked

"I'm thinking of mountain sins."

There was more to the conversation but I didn't respond to his inevitable horniness. That's his way of testing the waters, and to see if I'm willing to be more.

I think most men are horny without regard to the object of their effection. But Pisces aren't like that. Or maybe this one isnt. Don't get me wrong, he definitely tries to separate his feelings from his dick. But he can't. Which is what made all the other women so hard. Because I know he loved them. That's his problem. He can't not love.

But my friend has a point. Her baby shower is next week and I told her I can't stand this. She said men don't fall in love and choose to settle down. They choose to settle down and fall in love with whatever can give that to them. It can be a partner, a job, anything.

And it makes me think that after spending time with that 23 year old, you realized you are almost 40. That happens when you get a PhD though. We've both been in college for so long. Now that we aren't anymore...it's harder for you to find a woman who will put up with you and harder for me to find a man that I'm actually comfortable with.

It's just that everytime he leaves, I'm a new person when he returns. And he knows that. But this is the first time that he's been the one to change. He's different.

Not a good different. Not a bad different. I can tell that he's decided to quit smoking weed. Probably tobacco too. Some thing is very different but I can't put my finger on it

Oh my God, back to the point. I told him I didn't want to sleep with him or watch 90 day fiance or drop off my vinyl record subscription. All of those things build a relationship that I don't have faith in anymore.

Living in the mountains with him would be my dream. If I could make the wish come true I would. It would make me so happy. But I can't make that wish come true. I've tried too many times already. The first time was nativity, the second time was too. But the third and fourth?! And a 5th time?! I think not.

He has no idea how hard it is to say no to someone you love. He's never had the strength to do it. But I do.

[leocancertaurus]

Worth It

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

wc: ~2k

an: i would consider this more of a side shot to best worst decision rather than part 3 but it's fun so enjoy :)

pt. 1 | pt. 2

summary: Melina talks some sense into Natasha.

Yelena wanted to celebrate getting her driver’s license. She always got so excited over the “little things” because she never got to celebrate them growing up. In true Yelena fashion, she threw a small party to celebrate the right way.

It’d been longer than the two of you normally went without seeing each other. Because of this, you were the first person she invited. The happenings of your and Natasha’s divorce had been extremely hard on Yelena. Some days it feels like she’s taking it harder than the children. When she found out, she sobbed into your chest for a half hour at the prospect of not having you in her life anymore. You were the second big sister she never had and when it came to sharing her emotions, she trusted you endlessly.

Tonight, she’d wanted her closest family to be with her to celebrate the fact that she’d learned how to drive! So, you found yourself at her apartment with her, your daughters, Natasha, Melina and Alexei. Yelena and the girls sat on the floor playing Candyland while you got stuck conversing with Alexei.

“So, you would agree that Captain America has noodle arms compared to me?” he flexes his arms trying to trap you into admiring his bicep.

“I-”

“Y/n! Your children are big fat cheaters!” Yelena interrupts the delusion. You sigh thanking your lucky stars for her saving you.

“Getting beat by children that can’t even read yet? Thats tough, Belova,” Natasha cuts in.

“I CAN read Mama!”, Zara defends. “Auntie Lena’s shirt says, “loser”, the child beams.

“It does not!” Yelena gasps. You throw your head back releasing a boisterous laugh. Your five year old looks at you feeling triumphant. You lean forward offering a high five and she excitedly slaps your hand.

“Natasha, can you come help me in the kitchen please?” Melina’s voice cuts in effectively calming everyone down like only she knew how. Natasha rises off of the plush chair adjacent to the couch you’re on. You get a strong whiff of coconut as she passes. You bite your bottom lip as you steal a good look at her perfect ass. You clench your fists at your sides to keep yourself from jumping out ot grab it.

Natasha enters the kitchen finding Melina standing over the stove. “What can I help with?”

“Do you mind chopping those peppers for me, darling?” Natasha nods and starts cutting and they work in tandem in silence except for the noise from their rowdy family in the living room. Natasha is yanked out of her rhythm by a slap to the back of her head. She immediately places a hand on the throbbing spot.

“Um…. what was that for?” she asks very slowly, furrowing her brow at her mother.

“Sorry. I just needed to get that out.” Melina crosses her arms over her chest.

“Why?!”

“Because you’re very stupid and I know I taught you better than that,” Melina blurts out. “So, I needed to make sure that I slapped you at least one good time.”

“Ok, you’re gonna have to give me some context clues here.”

“Those three in there.”

“You mean my divorce” Natasha sighs. She couldn’t go one day without someone reminding her.

“You’re not divorced yet!”

“Well, we’re getting there. Y/n doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and I don’t blame her. Let’s just call a spade a spade,” he picks the knife up again and continues chopping.

“Since when are you a quitter?”

“Since I was served divorce papers… like real ones.”

“Has legal documentation stopped you from doing anything you didn’t want to do?”

“I mean… no.”

“Well?”

“Well what?” Natasha snaps. She’d hoped to go one night behaving as a normal family. Which was seemingly impossible these days.

“What’s the real reason you’re giving up on your family Natasha?”

Natasha points her finger in her face, “I’m not giving up on my family. I’m simply respecting Y/n’s wishes.”

“Oh Y/n is ready for baby #3 with the looks she’s been giving you!”

“Maybe you’ve mistaken what pure hatred looks like.”

“You’re so dramatic! So, you don’t want your family back?”

“Of course I want my family back.”

“Then why are you so comfortable running?”

Natasha halts her chopping and searches for an answer, “Becuase I don’t deserve them.”

“Natasha.”

“No, I don’t. Not only am I a monster that is fully capable of screwing those kids up. But, I had the perfect little life on a silver platter and I threw it all away. I had my chance time and time again and I blew it. Whatever this is that I feel, I promise you that I deserve it.”

“What is it that you feel, hm?” Somehow, Melina was the first person to have asked Natasha how she’s feeling.

“Disappointed? Sad? I just miss them, I guess.” Her voice is weak and slightly unsteady. She clears her throat hoping Melina missed it, even though she knows she didn’t.

“You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow harder,” she places her hands on Natasha’s shoulders, gently rubbing them.

“I don’t think–”

“Don’t interrupt me while I’m speaking. My point is that obviously this separation has helped you come to your senses. So, get your family back.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy.

“Why isn’t it? You love them, no?”

“Yes.”

“You would kill for them, no?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“Those are really the only two things you need, Natasha. I’m not understanding?”

Natasha turns to face her mother figure. She tilts her head to the side and slightly looks off to the side, trying to put the ill fitting pieces together.

“Just give it a shot,” Melina says gently swatting Natasha’s arm. “And if you hurt my sweet Y/n again. I will feed you to Alexei and you know exactly which one I’m talking about.”

Yelena comes into the kitchen for a glass of water sensing the tension. Her wide smile quickly drops.

“Whoa who died?” Yelena demands.

“Just trying to talk some sense into your big stupid sister here.”

“She’s very stupid, I agree. What’d she do now?” The blonde swipes a chunk of the peppers that Natasha had been chopping, tossing it into her mouth.

“She’s pretty much decided on letting her very beautiful wife and precious children go.” Yelena gasps and slaps Natasha in the back of the head.

“I swear the next person who slaps me is losing a hand,” she aims the point of the large knife in Yelena’s face.

“I’m sorry but, you have easily become my second favorite sister. I never thought I’d see the day.”

You quickly enter the kitchen with a frown on your face. As soon as the three women’s eyes land on you, their expressions soften. “You guys. What have I told you about leaving me alone with Alexei. It’s really hard being the only one that doesn’t have the balls to be honest with him. I just told him that he looks younger than Steve…. Which is obviously a lie and Steve is like 200.”

Yelena and Melina laugh at your rant. Melina pats you on your shoulder, “Honey, can you help Natasha finish dinner, please? I’ll go knock him down a peg just for you,” she kisses the side of your head and waves for Yelena to follow her back into the living room. Yelena gives Natasha a stern glare and swiftly exits.

You approach Natasha asking, “What can I do?”

“Uh, can you stir that?” She points to the simmering pot on the stove.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I’m sorry you got stuck with him. I think we need to ban him from saying the words Captain and America”, Natasha smirks.

“It’s okay. Just don’t let it happen again. I’ve paid my dues for the next decade,” you shake your head.

Nat freezes thinking about the prospect of the next ten years. Would the two of you be back together in that time? How would you kids feel about her for tearing your family apart? Would she have stepped back from the Avengers? Would you be married to someone else? These thoughts combined made Natasha’s grip the edge of the counter so hard that her knuckles turned white. You turn from stirring the stew and lean your back on the edge of the counter that Natasha’s standing at and you immediately notice her demeanor.

“Hey, you ok?” You place a gentle hand on her shoulder making her flinch.

She meets your gaze with tears in her eyes and bounds forward throwing herself into your arms, burying her face in your neck. You freeze at the unexpected embrace but once you feel her shaky breaths you gently wrap one arm around her, not wanting to squeeze too tight and you place your other hand at the back of her head, gently caressing her soft locks. She hasn’t been this close to you in a very long time. You’re not sure who’s heart is racing faster. “Hey, what’s the matter” you speak loud enough for just her to hear.

“I just really needed a hug.”

“That all?” you feel the movement of her shaking her head. “What else do you need baby?”

“I just need to feel you. I need to know that you don’t hate me even though I feel like you should.”

You hum, taking in exactly what she’s getting at and you mull over your next words before verbalizing them, “I could never hate you. Why should I?”

“I broke my promises to you. Including the one when I said I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah you did. I’m angry at you for that but, I don’t hate you. I don’t think I’m meant to hate you.” At that you feel the hot tears, that she’d been intently guarding, finally spill onto your shoulder.

“I deserve for you to.”

“You don’t.”

“I do!”

“Natasha. Stop it. You were my best friend long before you were anything more to me and I’ll love you until the day I die. That love may change. We’ve seen that happen already. I don’t know what our love will become but, it’s definitely not going anywhere,” she squeezes you impossibly tighter. “I need you to get that through your thick skull okay?” You lightly knock on the side of her head, earning a teary chuckle.

“I love you so much Y/n/n. It scares me sometimes.” She raises her head off of you shoulder and she allows you to wipe her tears. She looks down releasing a thoughtful sigh, “I really want our family back. Whether or not I deserve that is debateable, I guess. But, this life isn’t worth living without my girls,” she takes another deep breath, working overtime to control her emotions. “I don’t expect you to have an answer right now or to make any promises but, I just want you to know that at least.”

You rest your forehead against hers and mindlessly caress her back while she’s still in your arms, “Thank you for telling me that. It is a lot to think about. Maybe we should have a more extensive conversation later? Once we’ve properly celebrated Yelena.”

She finally meets your eyes and you reassure her with a soft smile, “God, she really shouldn’t have been given a license,” Natasha groans.

“Absolutely not,” you laugh.

“You two better not burn that food!”, Melina yells from the living room causing the two of you to jump apart, just barely saving dinner.

Whatever happens between you and Natasha next will be incredibly taxing without a doubt but, Natasha would always be worth it. The possibilities were endless when it came to her.

[whatagirlwants]

Here it goes…this will be long 

bare with me the first time i typed everything i accidentally deleted it all. so this might be all over the place there might be typos. my reason for this is no reason just to jot down my thoughts so if you are reading this and offended dont take this personal.

 I think part of me feels the need to make this clear is because i’ve seen people not understand why she’d feel that about Joshua why does she describe him as vicious? where did it all go wrong. i’ve also seen Joshua fans undermine her feelings and bring up his traumas and what he went through to excuse him but what about what she went through? we dont have to compare but dont undermine her feelings and invalidate her. a certain comment struck me and it was a Joshua fan saying “she wouldnt pull an olivia write and release vicious about him and put him through it, she knows what he went through he doesnt deserve it he almost died” like they’re missing the whole point, i think sabrina has waited long enough and she tried to stay by him and it just didnt work, if she describe what he put her through as cruel then just accept it. yes his heart failed it isnt her fault? she tried to be there, how did u think she felt? he pushed her away too and he said it himself in his snippet of a song called Never and Sabrina sings about him pushing her away in Space and Dust which sh posted 2 months after dl was out.

To be honest with you the whole situation is complicated and you might not understand or if you’re biased towards any certain parties in this case joshua you will turn a blind eye and dismiss her feelings like you did vicious. Sabrina has never spoken about him or their relationship or put him on blast, she isn’t making this about her break up with him she’s simply letting the music find its people. What people make of it isn’t her fault, she didnt release vicious because she’s angry and wants revenge i mean its simply what she’s been through at this point she’s had a lot of people tell her how to feel its time we hear her out.

i’m not writing this as an expose i wish all well to Joshua and i know sabrina does too or she wouldn’t have written skinny dipping and imagine a day where it all wouldn’t hurt and she can put this past her. At the end of the day all 3 involved (sabrina, olivia, and joshua) have received hate in different ways.  part of me hates when someone defends sabrina and talks about what she went through and someone would bring up what Joshua went through. i dont like that we always have to bring him up maybe thats me and i hold some resentment of my own? maybe its cause im simply sick of seeing him be brought up and constantly baby-ed by his fans? which i understand. you wouldn’t turn on your favorite celebrity but i think its okay to accept he did Sabrina wrong and the only way to describe what he did to her is unfortunately is cruel. Sabrina herself said that she wouldn’t always feel like that and its just where she is now. 

I want to add im glad this is all over and sabrina doesn’t seem to be where she was last year and that makes me happy.

1. Why does she describe him as Vicious? 

I think in order to know that you must understand the timeline of their breakup and quite literally how he loved her and pretend he didn’t. because i don’t only want to show you the tl i want to be able to provide lyrics as proof and my own interpretation of it all this will be all over the place.

January 8th 2021 Drivers License was released, the whole cast of hsmtmts were filming the show in Salt Lake City and Sabrina was there visiting Joshua. Sabrina was spotted a week after Drivers License in Salt Lake. When Sabrina says in the song because i liked a boy “when everything went down we’d already broken up” is because thats what happened. He broke up with her after DL came out (it’ll make sense if you put it in this perspective, so stay with me). She even sings in the same song “was only trying to hold you close while your heart was failing. you said im too late to be you first love but i’ll always be your favorite” To me, it sounds like he’s breaking up with her although she was only trying to be there for him because she loved him. This all ties up to love me then pretend you didnt crush my heart and wreck my image in the song Vicious. The thing is i dont believe wrote Vicious around the same time she wrote because i liked a boy i think it took her time to understand how she feels and actually reflect on how things went down and how he handled it. 

It’s funny cause Joshua has a song coming out called Used To It and the first verse is about Olivia not caring when his heart failed (due to septic shock) This could imply to thats where his mind was at which makes sense to why Sabrina finds him cruel as well as if you look at the 2nd verse in Vicious she sings “when you’re insecure could be me, could be her you just run to whoever is winning”. Joshua has a song coming out too called Would You Love Me Now? and his fans think its about olivia based on a few lines the song is not out yet.

2. Sabrina stayed. 

i’ve seen this here on Tumblr and someone said the way sabrina describe their relationship was sweet or something like that but i feel like it was sweet at one point but the songs are all about AFTER their breakup in January 2021 and there is nothing sweet about a man who cant make up his mind. Regardless i understand things were out of control and to be honest yes he’s also been through a lot in his personal life but i dont think that should excuse anything. We hear Sabrina sing about Tornado Warnings and if you read my page you know it is about Joshua. Late March 2021 Sabrina and Joshua were at a park during a tornado warning (NOT BACK TOGETHER just to talk most probably). Lets focus on the lyrics, sabrina knows its a bad idea and that LOGICALLY she shouldn’t have him on her mind and she shouldnt be seeing someone who left her. In the song she’s saying she’s convincing her therapist it didnt happen and that she’s over that son of a bitch. 

The 2nd verse to me could be interrupted 2 ways 1. is Sabrina is justifying lying to her therapist in her therapy session “i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts not so obsessed with yours i cant hear myself speak” and she also is putting herself first and recognise that it is what she should be doing “i deserve my own consideration”. 

The lyrics “i deserve my own consideration” remind me of her song how many things. In this song, sabrina portrays her vulnerable side, she feels worthless in his eyes. although she’s not his priority anymore she constantly thinks of him “theres no hiding in the thought of us i got ways to find you anywhere” . Sabrina is aware once again she shouldnt be considerate of him yet she cant help herself “i consider you im not trying to it doesnt matter whether or not i want to i cant help it”  she also sings i wonder how many things you wanna do you think im in between Sabrina feels like this thing he has to deal with or in-between what he really wants yet she still went to see him during a tornado warning, she still considers his feelings “i feel myself falling further down your priorities and i still make excuses for you constantly” .

The sad part is he left and she touches on this in the second verse she sings “remember when you left once? that never made too much sense to me well it hurt you so bad hurting me you really came to me for sympathy” and in her song Bet Ya Wanna “i bet you hate the way you said goodbye and you still cant even tell me why i hate the way you left me dry but ill keep that between you and i” how did he say goodbye? i mentioned earlier it was around the weeks after drivers license was released in the lyrics she says he left her dry which means leaving someone high and dry which means to leave someone in a difficult situation without any help. and when was that? january 2021 now back to Vicious crush my heart and wreck my image.

Sabrina stayed and thats highlighted in songs like Tornado Warnings, Already Over, Decode and a song she wrote and posted in March 2021 called Space and Dust.

in space and dust sabrina says she’ll always be there “if no ones there to hear u scream you can still reach out your hand to me and im floating there ill always be the brightest star in your galaxy”

3. Theres nothing left here to decode

in decode Sabrina touches on his behavior of how he didn’t stay, confused her, and walked away and eventually choosing to walk away herself. Now that she stopped trying to understand him or the situation and walked away from it all she feels the weight off her shoulders “theres a weight off my shoulders now that i don’t chase you being myself, did that emasculate you? learning from you that i can walk away too”

In an interview sabrina talks about her favorite line which is learning from u i can walk away too and she said walking away wasnt an option to her because she thought walking away is a negative thing you dont walk away from someone you love but then she learned to realize it could be a good option and it is the better option. 

4. In conclusion

i promise im done but i wanted to go into details so this is a long ass post. point is someone can hurt someone and do something wrong regardless of what they’ve been through. sabrina releasing vicious is valid why shouldn’t she sing about him and what he put her through, its insane to me how his fans will vilify her or find her bringing up his heart failure in because i liked a boy yet his own fans bring it up every second to defend his actions. you dont find that weird? we’re all glad he’s okay and he’s made it but she knows him more than you and you might not be able to understand how she feels because regardless your his fans and she’s his ex and someone he pushed completely to the side when in reality she ended up in this mess cause of him cause she even gave him a chance letting him in her world. if sabrina fans dont like him or feel some way about him its justified too.

Dont make sabrina releasing Vicious a negative thing or “bringing” him up for attention when he only writes about OR which he knows will get 10x more attention than singing about SC. Sabrina released Skinny Dipping which is how she wants it to be in the future “water under the bridge”

This is how sabrina described Decode:

“When you finally stop hurting yourself trying to understand why someone didn’t love you the way you thought they did, it all becomes so much more clear” and based on his songs he’s releasing right now that are assumed to be about Olivia, sabrina’s feelings in vicious are valid.