#i know better than anyone how much they can genuinely ruin your life

[peachyfnaf]

If you could say something to all TSAMS characters, what would you say?

WHOOH boy, that's a fuckin' question and a half, ain't it? i'm prolly gonna piss some people off with this, let's see... i kidnapped most of these characters from polaris' list lol

So I don't go off on tangents for each of em, i'm gonna try to limit myself to 1-3 sentences

Sun: You've been through a lot, haven't you? Find something to do in life, something that you love because you want to, not something that you love out of obligation or programming. You're smarter and stronger than you think, stop being held back by the past.

Old Moon: You have not changed as much as you think you have- you still have some very toxic and abusive behaviors. You are not irredeemable, but you are deeply flawed. Take time, work on yourself, and understand that while making up for your past might be impossible; it's not impossible for you to carve out a future where you and those you love are happy.

New Moon/Nexus: Oh, you poor thing, what happened to you? You fucked up, but you didn't deserve the hand you were given in life, no one in your position would. Please, let yourself feel again- the pain of losing it all- only then will you be able to come back out the other side ready to love again.

Earth: As you've grown and experienced life, you've become very immature. This isn't directly a bad thing, but it contrasts with what you try to be, and makes you an unreliable person to go to with mental health struggles. Don't take life so personally, and push a little bit harder, there's no need to be so soft on people who reject help who clearly need it.

Lunar: I am BEGGING you to show some vulnerability. I know it's genuinely so fucking hard after all you've been through, but if you keep acting like you're okay after every loss then eventually you'll become a shell of a man. ...And also, respectfully, humble yourself- you are incredible, but you are not the main character.

Solar: Take a break. Please, for the sake of yourself and everyone you care about, take a break. You can't save anyone if you yourself are dying- and the people you are trying to reach won't extend their hand to a dying man. Take a break.

Eclipse (V4 Specifically): ...What can I even say to you other than that I am so incredibly proud of you. And that I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything you went through, being compared to someone you're not. I wish people would leave you alone, as you so desperately want to be, you more than deserve that peace.

Bloodmoon: You're a lot more put together than people give you credit for. I'm sorry you were made the way you were, with the inability to live life without being consumed by your urges. You were born a monster, and no one gave you the proper chance to become anything but one.

Ruin: I'm sorry to say this, I really am, but even though the life you lived was horrid and tragic, that gives you no right to end billions of innocent lives in your quest for justice and revenge. You have my sympathies for the trauma you experienced, but my sympathies end there. Everything you experience after the massacre you pulled is your victims coming to bite you in the ass.

Jack: I love you, so much- I love you for trying as hard as you do. Remember, it's okay to say no. You are still growing and have a lot of it to do, be kind to yourself when you make mistakes.

Dazzle: Sweet girl, the most precious thing. Never change who you are, you are literally the shining star in the darkness that is this world. Never forget how much you are loved, for it is more than you could ever know.

The Creator: No matter how many machines you build, what scientific discoveries you make, how much progress you offer to humanity, you will always be alone. No one will ever love you, and it's all your fault. Remember that when you die alone, old man.

Monty: Your violence is not funny, at least not at the severity of which you do it. You lying to your girlfriend is not funny. Do better or fuck off.

Foxy: You try so hard, and I appreciate it, but learn that there are some things that you can not fix, and some places where you shouldn't stick your nose in. It's okay to be "a rubber duck", it's okay to be normal. Stop trying to be something you're not and embrace what you can.

F.C: I love you so much kid. You're a bit wild and off your rocker, but you've also shown so much unexpected maturity. Stop growing up so fast, yeah?

Puppet: I can appreciate all that you try to do, but please, understand that you acknowledging that you make mistakes does not nullify them. You have been hypocritical time and time again, and you need to learn and grow from those experiences, not just brush them off. You are capable of great things- just learn to do them.

AND THATS EVERYONE. YIPPEE. im gonna go eat shrimp now lol

[hella1975]

what’s your opinion on the british education system hella

bleugh!

i mean i think it could definitely be worse but i also think 'the british education system' is wayyyyyy too broad a term for something that is completely different based on your background. like i bet to the kids who went private the whole way and therefore got all the necessary support PLUS tutoring that they needed and ultimately came out with the best possible grades, the education system is just stellar and cant be faulted. but the truth is most schools (aka state education) are underfunded and overcrowded and the teachers cant afford the time nor money to focus on the individuals as they ought to and it leaves a LOT of kids (typically the ones who need help most) to slip through the cracks of education. it's why we have such a bad poverty cycle here. britain's very foundations rely on the classism that defined us CENTURIES ago and it shows.

but in terms of like, how i feel about it being divided into gcses, a-levels and degree level kind of thing, i think it's alright. gcses were a VERY miserable time of my life and i do think too much pressure is put on literal children to learn a frankly ridiculous amount of information for a two month exam period of 20+ exams (i mean have you SEEN america they have exams where the teachers literally give them REVISION SHEETS. the dream), so that could definitely stand to chill the FUCK out. i also have personal beef with the concept of a-levels because really???? 18 months to learn three subjects (minimum) at a higher more in depth level than you did at gcses where you get five years to prepare??? this is fuelled mainly by the fact that i went to a college that not only wasnt connected to a secondary school so therefore the teachers literally did not give a fuck about you bc they just didn't even get the chance to learn their students bc we'd all be gone again in two years time, but was also Underfunded with a capital U like it was the only college in my small town and was where ALL of the state school kids went from EVERY STATE SCHOOL. to this one place. that didn't have enough money. it was a fucking shambles and with covid we were all just dead in the water so idk how much of my beef with a-levels is valid and how much of it is me just bitterly waving my fist at the sky.

degrees are sound though. like i know i slate my degree bc the SUBJECT is abysmal, but the way they work is pretty good and students are actually pretty well supported. the support system at my uni is fucking stellar too so i have no complaints. i just wish i was doing literally any other subject lmao.

anyway. i know you're prepping for exams atm so i feel like you definitely have some feelings about this lol, how's it going?

[thatfrailsoul]

– Parts of me that I seek in you

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

When we strive to connect, to know someone... There are many different reasons for which our heart calls more for one person than the other. The appearance, the ways, their mind or heart, their actions or deepest goals and desires... No matter what it is, there is always that something that makes them shine in the darkness that surrounds us. And, very often, that something is the same as the one that we lost, can't find in ourselves... So we desperately look for it in others. With such perseverance and obsessive need that, sometimes, we allow it to lead us to those that perhaps, at the end, we would've preferred to not meet.

So what is it? What you miss in yourself but so desperately need? Where or when did you lose it? And where and how can you finally find that missing piece?

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, so similar to what you feel. Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

– Pile One,

the star, the ten of cups and the fool.

Your poor and innocent soul... Your tired heart, your consumed mind... The only thing you ever wanted, the one that you wanted back then, was simply to leave it all behind. All that pain, all that fear. All the reasons why you couldn't ever be enough or right for someone, for anyone, that for once you just desired to don't hear... You found the last bits of your strength, patience and courage, all that remained in your shattered heart. And you used them to try to heal. All those numerous wounds, so many that it just feels like a whole and single, draining, torturing, one.

But what did it give you, in exchange of this incredible resilience to try to heal? Only a little relief, a little distraction... That hid that hole that was becoming bigger and bigger, with each time that you worked on - or to be exact forced - the healing of your soul.

And this is the thing. This is what ruined it all, what made it so difficult and challenging. What influenced so many others areas of your life... One little but so important detail about who you are, the way you are. And how much you got used in this life to beat yourself up, blaming for every single disgrace that you experienced... How often you repeated it, demonstrated it to yourself with every step that was supposed to help you heal. You never were gentle, patient, understanding. You never gave yourself credit for how many right things and choices you made. Or how many others mistakes never were really yours, but of somebody else. You did none of this. But only focused on rushing, on becoming better, on healing faster, growing, so you could be sooner worthy and ready to show what a good person you are to this world. You were angry, frustrated, ashamed. You despised yourself for needing healing and learning in the first place. You regretted every single additional day that you needed to get it together. Only noticing how many flows you still have, how many wounds are still bleeding, how many triggers you still can't endure.

Your desire, your intention, was so good... So innocent, genuine and truly right. But so quickly and scarily naturally it became just another cage and punishment that you gave yourself. Changing the whole purpose, the whole meaning, of a journey that is so pure. That was never supposed to be so rushed, give you so quickly those results that now you are so angry to don't see manifesting in your world... And that you decided, unconsciously or perhaps not, to look for in others. The ones that seem so beautiful, so healthy and whole. The ones that seem to go through life so gracefully, no matter the obstacles or challenges on their path. The ones that seem to be able to influence you so positively, if only you stay close to them, showing you the right ways and directions. Supporting you, helping you in doing it correctly, like you seem incapable of doing on your own.

But, no matter how much we adore to think the opposite, we indeed are the only ones responsible for our journey. For our battles, our victories or our loss. No matter how supportive, how close others are, they still can't really help us. Not when we don't allow even our own self to do the needed work. You can't fight through it, not this journey. You can't do it with the only motivation and push being your own meanness, judgment and resentement for the things that you dared to do or not. You can't be there, behind your own back, looking closely at every your step and action, ready to attack if you don't do it right.

But you can allow yourself to take more time. To be slower. To make more mistakes. To feel once again that pain, if it's the one that still overwhelms your heart. You can remember. You can reflect. Learn something from it. Or maybe not. Because it is normal, it is right, to take time to heal, to go through it with all the needed ups and downs.

And you can still do it. You can continue this journey changing your pace and rhythm, or simply starting from scratch. You can and need to do it. Because no-one else can help and guide you, as you can do to your own self. By being gentle and understanding with your heart and mind, that indeed do their best to allow you to feel and experience this life.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the magician, the fool and the page of swords

You have something so beautiful, so unique, within yourself. Such passion that, if not explored and shared, can consume you inevitably. Consume that power that you sometimes forget to have. So you always took care of it. You always nourished it. In the moments when it felt as natural as breathing, and even in those where it was too similar to a torture, that need to create and do something but without any idea on why, how to start or from where. And even if, thanks to you and your deepest love, this passion and calling did survive... It is starting to fade now. Submerged with all the questions and doubts about whether or not it is worth it, if you are good enough to do it at all, if it is really that important... All because for quite sometime you were the only admirer and supporter of your work.

You are wavering, your steps and actions as you create become more and more unstable, as every inspiration or idea seems not enough to be worthy of the success, even just appreciation that you want. But this something... Is so yours, so made perfectly just for you and to express your soul... That you can't really just leave it. You can't just stop doing it, even if it is becoming hard to be satisfied as you used to, because you so naturally always gravitate back to creating and allowing your mind and heart to speak up through every step of your work. So you keep going, with a non consistent rhythm, many set backs, infinite doubts... Doing it, because you feel this need and desire so much. But not really enjoying it anymore. Because in the eyes of others it never seems good enough, and therefore it doesn't feel enough for your own self. For the one that, in the first place, you were supposedly creating it for.

It is so natural and normal to have the desire to share, to welcome others in your universe in a sense, to show them who you are or how you see this world... But what starts so innocently and genuinely, a way to connect to others and don't feel so different or not understood, an alternative type of motivation and fuel for your creativity even... is so often soon to become exactly what kills it, overwhelming your every idea with the judgment of others, and their way of seeing the world.

It just shifted your perspective, about yourself and your work. It made you feel little, insignificant, too simple or too much, confronted to what others seem to consider deserving and worthy of their attention and love. It made you feel useless, because when your creation was ignored, you felt like what was really being rejected was your soul that spoke through your work.

And time after time, day after day, this calling became so faint, almost non existent. Not because it is really going away... But because you are just the one that tries so desperately to ignore it and to not hear it. Convinced that following it would be useless, without anyone appreciating and admiring what you do. Convinced that doing it for your own self and enjoyment is not really worth it, because it doesn't give you any income, any fame, any support and appreciation from others. Convinced that it is only and simply a waste of time.

But is it? Is it really completely useless if you are the only one to whom you dedicate the creations of your soul? Or does it give you a chance to feel and experience this world in your own way, processing those emotions and thoughts, reinventing them? Does it give you back the ability to breathe and feel at ease, once you allow everything that overwhelms you flow out through your work? Does it fill your time with excitement and enjoyment? Does it give you a safe place, that allows you to rest and hide from everything else? Does it make you feel proud of who you are and what you did, what you were able to create with your own mind and hands? Because even if it does only one of these things... Than it is worth it. Because this is what gives you the energy and fuel to live this life, to appreciate it, to go through it. Having something that always protects and expresses your soul.

You can't do only what assures you the interest or appreciation of others. You can't do it for so long as you are planning or trying to do. You can't do it without constantly feeling on autopilot, thrown from one work to another, trying to satisfy every one of them in hopes that in return they will support your work. It is not true to you. It is not what you want or need. It is not even something that you can do, the things that they want. It is only a play, of which you are trying to learn all the phrases and rhythm, but that you can keep up with only for so long.

This life is not unfair, wrong, useless, a constant and neverending annoying and painful cycle. But it is this way for you, who doesn't have anymore that tiny but vital component - the language of your soul. You are suppressing it, you are limiting it and judging. For what? For whom? For what reason? This is not something that needs to be enough or good for others. It is not something that needs to give you incredible success, wealth or recognition. It can, but before any of that it needs only to be something that you enjoy. Truly and simply.

You don't need to find new ideas, ways, hobbies, interests, sports, studies, paths to explore - you just need to comeback to what you already know that you love. And welcome it in your Iife, starting doing it again and more. Just for your own fun and enjoyment, that will overflow from your heart to every other aspect of your life. Connecting everything, and making it free from the torture of unsatisfaction and frustration that you endure.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the devil, the justice and the star

Sometimes we cross paths with those that perhaps we weren't meant to be with, we weren't meant to create and have the same story as the one we desired and pictured so well. It happens. It hurts. Then, eventually, it goes away. But when it happens again and again, one person after another... One betrayal, lie or misunderstanding after the other... How can one not notice the one element that connects them all - themselves? How can one not think, even in the slightest, that perhaps it is not working out because of who and how they are?

So one dives into it, tries to remember every single moment, analyse their own ways, with the desperate need to find that wrong something and change it, making everything in themselves right again. With the need to demonstrate that it is something that can be changed and that it won't be this way forever. That they can and will be better, more worthy, more right, and for this reason chosen by someone. And perhaps they do find it, that something, they work on it day and night, fight their own demons and who they are, and come out of it brand new. They put themselves out there, open up to people and try genuinely to connect... And then it happens all over again. The same pain, confusion, uncertainty, doubts, betrayal or a broken heart. But they did the work right? They changed, or did they not? And there it goes the fear of not being worthy no matter what, of being destined to loneliness and hurt, or perhaps of not doing enough. And some collapse, they hide, and try with all their forces to make themselves enough, to not need anyone else in their life. While others... Others don't say it out loud. Don't think about it. Hide it deep down. And try to make things work no matter what it means to accept and endure, just to not have yet another person leaving them behind.

And you... You are doing it right now. With them, or with others in your life. Subtly, unconsciously, you force yourself to stay. No matter the words you hear, the actions you see, the promises that you know are already broken and mean nothing to the person by your side. You stay. Because walking away might mean that there never will be someone else, that you will be the only one you will have.

It is difficult and painful to think about being somehow different and wrong, never enough. It is even more difficult to try to work on it and change yourself. It is difficult to face not only the pain but also the loneliness. To feel that fear of living this way forever creeping on you with each day. So staying, trying to be more understanding, patient, docile, considerate, delicate, silent and comfortable for others... Seems indeed less difficult and scary, because in return they too will stay. Even when it is clear that you are torturing and consuming yourself. Even when you so clearly and surely know that the way you are treated is not okay at all. All for that acceptance, that tiny affection, even if not genuine. All for those things that you think you will never be able to find in yourself, and might not find once the people that are now in your life will not be here anymore. A void that, perhaps, won't ever be filled with another person, with another connection or love.

But by convincing yourself to adapt to others and what they look for or don't love... You did exactly that one thing that will not allow people who are genuinely interested in you to come closer. Not when that place in your life is already occupied by another someone. Not when you show so ardently and persistently that the way you are treated is what you want.

A right person - the one that is interested in you exactly the way you are, not less not more - even when so close to you to see you... Will never be able to do something, to help you, to take you out of this play pretend and torture... Because no one can do what should start from you, what you should be ready to finally to do: to protect yourself, t be treated right, to be loved and appreciated for the way you are.

It is safe, please believe me. It is safe for you to be who you are. It is safe for you to don't accept scraps of love and attention from others. It is safe if you walk away from those who can't find that one thing they want in you, who is already perfectly fine and enough. It is safe for you to don't force it. It is safe for you to let them all go. Because the space they will leave behind them is not something so negative as you convince yourself to be. It is not a sign of loss. It is only more space for your own self to grow, to bloom, to be who you are. To shine so proudly and brightly and to be seen by those who will notice and love you. And not the ways you can adapt to someone elses need, desire or mood.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

_

[cheriladycl01]

Better than me - Charles Leclerc x Reader P10

Plot: You are a rookie in your first f1 season, adding to the ever-growing amount of Brits performing in the grid

As things went, the dinner Charles promised to take you out on went really well. You guys spent the whole night out talking in a small local restaurant in Saint-Tropez that he’d privately rented for the night before walking along the harbour wall.

The conversation never actually stopped, and despite knowing of Charles for a while and having met him a few times before you got into F1 yourself you guys found out more about each other in those 4 hours at dinner than you’d known about any of the drivers in the time you’d been driving with some of them.

“Come on then, tell me something you’ve never told anyone else” he asks and you think for a second.

“When I was younger, in karting and moving up into F4, I nearly said yes to two teams wanting to take me on because I thought the other was a dream” you chuckle amused at the memory.

“No way! That would have been funny, I remember actually seeing you in the awards ceremony I must have been in F2 at that point” he sighs thinking back to when there wasn’t as much pressure on him and he had a lot more freedom.

“Tell me about your family, I bet you love having them at race weekends” you asked after taking a bite of the delicious food that was on your plate.

“Well, there’s Arthur, obviously you know him coz you’ve raced with him. Then there’s my older brother Lorenzo but we all just call him Enzo and of course my maman” he smiles and you think for a second looking up at the ceiling.

“Nicknames are bizarre right? Like you shortener that to Enzo, but why did nobody start calling him Lore?” The random questions spills from your mouth easily.

“I’ve never thought about that” he laughs.

Your connection was undeniable and you guys just fit together. It was so sweet, nothing could ruin this moment apart from one conversation.

Which of course had to be had.

“So where do we go from here?” Charles had asked you.

“What do you mean?” You ask with a slight tilt of you head in confusion.

“You know we can’t be together right? The media would tear us to shreds” he offers and you look down sadly.

Tonight showed you what a life with Charles alongside you could be like, his attentive side and how his words made you feel like the only girl in the world.

“We don’t have to tell anyone it could be just between the two of us” you smile.

“We’re in different teams … it would never work” he reasons and your eyes are starting to glass over in frustration.

“Then why bring me here!” You raise your voice.

“W-what do you mean, you asked me to bring you here?” He says looking over your disgruntled facial expression.

“No, no I didn’t! Don’t try spin this. I said you had to take me out to dinner, that didn’t mean, taking me out and renting out a whole intimate restaurant before taking me on a walk through the south of France. That’s mean” you say stepping back as he tries to reach out for you.

“I didn’t mean for you to get upset” he says, there were undertones of him genuinely feeling a little bad, but it was more blunt than usual. Like he didn’t really care how you felt but he was obliged to.

“Charles why do you keep doing this to me, I thought we just got past the rough patch!” You say, remembering everything he had put you through since the start of the season.

You thought maybe today was the day you were building a bridge with him that would be better for both of you in the future.

“Y/N im sorry but please let’s not let this stop us being … friends” Charles interjects stepping closer to you so he’s practically against you.

“I’m too embarrassed to do this right now Charles. I’m going home” you say crossing your arms wrapping the cardigan you were wearing tighter around you.

“Y/N no please don’t we can…” he starts but your ready to interrupt him.

“There’s nothing you can say right now. I’ll see you at the next race” you say before walking through the streets of Saint-Tropez on your own. You manage to get back to the hotel you’d originally had and begged the receptionist for your old room.

The next races went by and you didn’t attend any of them. However this time you did keep in contact with the select few people you knew had your back. You didn’t tell them why you weren’t coming to anymore races, just that you needed more time to heal.

Not exactly a lie.

You spent your time with your personal trainer getting your muscles and bones to slowly recover from the race. You really were having a speedy recovery and Silverstone was looking like a definite for you to be back in the car now which made everyone happy.

You traveled back and forth between, Monaco, Germany and the UK while you weren’t at the races, getting data from Audi and how the car been performing with a different driver now that your out for the last few races. And spending time with your family, in the UK.

By the time Silverstone came around you were deemed ready to be back in the car.

On the Thursday you walked through the car park, fans lining up either side screaming for you. You walked over to where they were fenced off and started signing as much as you could.

“Y/N are you all better now?”

“Y/N are you excited to drive again”

“Y/N are you scared to drive after your crash?”

“Y/N do you feel like you might be a bit rusty today?”

Floods of questions came your way, but with a smile on your face you answered whatever was thrown your way. You stayed there for around 20 minutes before crowds became too big and security politely asked you to move on and into the paddock.

You scanned in, loads off people coming up to you for pictures who had VIP and Paddock passes. You stayed walking with your PR manager who’d met you at the entrance.

“How are you feeling about the weekend?” They ask you and you turn your head in a cocked manner.

“Fine?” You admit.

“Okay, great! Well you are on the Drivers Press conference with Liam, Lando, Carlos and Pierre. Please try and keep up team moral yeah? We don’t want any undue attention” she admit, knowing Audi haven’t had the best time in public relations recently thanks to the crash and the scandal before that.

The rumours around your crash were kind of insane. Some people were saying you did it on purpose to prove a point, some people think your team were sabotaging you. Some people thought the grid were out to get you, some even went as far as to think you’d faked your drug test and were doping.

“I know, racing only. How excited I am for this weekend” you nod towards her as you guys get to the motorhome of Audi.

“Well I need to brief the team, but I’ll be sure to come grab you before the press conference” she smiles running of with her clipboard pressed tightly to her chest.

“Oh my gosh! Y/N! Alex and I have been waiting on you forever” Lily exclaims as she sees you step through the glass doors.

She grabs you into a tight squeeze that you immediately sink into. If Alex wasn’t careful you’d steal Lily from him in a heartbeat, she gave the best hugs.

“Hey, how are you guys! It feels good to actually be back here with you guys knowing I’ll be driving tomorrow” you smile softly.

“Yeah i can imagine it’s been far too long” Alex says rubbing your shoulder before offering you to take a seat with them in the booth they’d currently reserved.

“How are you feeling about the race, you definitely feel like your ready to get back in the car?” Lily fusses, like always.

“Yeah, i mean the physio said I was good to go”

“Okay, but are YOU good to go?” She pushes and you can’t help but think for a little. Physically you’d been cleared but with everything that’s happened your mind, we’re your reflexes going to be up to standard, would you be too emotional in the car and not think straight?

We’re you ready?

Taglist:

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[jellojelli]

Penacony Big 3 Hurt You're Feelings/How They Make Up for It

*a/n: idk if they're really the big three but they are in my heart*

Dr. Ratio

Veritas Ratio likely said something hurtful about your intelligence. He's no stranger to being critical and cold when it comes to academics and if you struggle in a field he is knowledgable about well, oopsies buddy. dear aeons if you are bad at math like I am you will probs be at the table like a child getting yelled at by him

"Are you really so simple-minded and ignorant that you can't even do this much? Really, why did I even agree to be with you?"

Veritas really didn't mean it.... he loves you dearly but he's Bad at Feelings™ and well academics are his thing and he can be kinda bitchy about it, especially with a lover since he holds you in such a good light, and high standards

If you get angry Veritas gets angry back, and then goes cold. He'll stop arguing with you and simply let you stew in it to let you calm down. Even if he does want to solve this issue immediately he won't because you and him need to calm down, but he doesn't let you know that's his intention for walking away so it looks bad

If you're the type to cry he gets shocked and feels instantly guilty. He would never want to make you cry because of his words. But again he is Bad at Feelings™ and his pride won't let him just apologize after making you cry so he's going to scoff and walk away like if you got angry, letting you calm down before he goes back in, but it looks really bad since he just scoffed and walked away from you

No matter how angry you get please don't say something over the top or targeting to him because if you mention Nous or the Genius Society he will be genuinely hurt and may not speak to you for a while i.e: a week because that's a real thing he is angry and maybe even a bit insecure about

Veritas will make it up to you, but in his own prideful way. Don't expect some grand apology, begging, or tears from him because that is not him at all. And don't think he will gift you anything either because he doesn't want to taint the notion of gift-giving with anger and hurt. Instead he'll si you down, apologize curtly and possibly make you something or do some things he knows you hate doing, like a meal or some dessert or doing some chores he knows you dislike to show you he is really sorry

Maybe he'd even invite you to bath with him and destress, this is not an invitation to have bath sex because 1) don't ruin the sanctity of his bathtub and 2) sex is already rare with him and he again refuses to ruin the notion and beauty of intimacy with you with anger and hurt

If you said something mean to him you better apologize sincerely to him about it in return or he may hold onto the fact that you like to use things against him and he won't tell you shit anymore because despite his demeanor and attitude he doesn't like his supposed major short-comings thrown in his face

Aventurine/Kakavasha

Aventurine goes through this back and forth with himself about being in a real relationship. One minute he's happy and genuine with you and the next he's stand-offish and arrogant to you. It's the Trauma™ and he doesn't mean to be this way towards you but he's scared one day you'll realize you could do better than him and just up and leave him for someone way better so he said something to try and push you away from him and make you realize this sooner rather than later

"Hah, you think you're special to me? I could have anyone I wanted, you're nothing much to me."

Aeons he is such a liar and the second those words leave his lips he wants to punch himself in the face, or let you punch him instead because why would he say that to the best thing in his life? The best person he's ever met?

If you're someone to get angry he doesn't match your energy. He won't yell at you or fight with you, instead, he digs an even deeper grave and continues his aloof and dismissive behavior, laughing and scoffing at your words while he screams at himself in his head with each hurtful word and action he throws at you. He'll stand his ground until you walk away or tire yourself out and go to bed/nap and then just sits by himself somewhere in the house in a pensive silence thinking about how much of a fucking idiot he is and how his 'luck' can't seem to help him when he needs it to

If you cry instead, oh boy.... Aventurine feels like a real piece of shit but that doesn't stop him from continuing until you run off somewhere in tears. He again sits in silence for a while, cursing himself out and nearly bringing himself to tears as he berets himself for making you cry when all you ever did was love and support him. He feels so toxic and icky that he can't even look at himself right now.

I repeat, DO NOT throw his insecurities in his face because these aren't simple matters that can be overlooked with minor consequences like with Dr. Ratio. If you bring up his past or his home this will be the last you ever see of him because those are things he cannot take lightly and he will never feel comfortable in your presence again because all he will think about is how you view him as a sl**e still or someone not even human. If you do this it will really break him because he really does love and trust you, even if he can't stop himself from trying to push you away at times

Kakavasha will make it up to you via a lot of different things. He starts with getting you a grandiose bouquet of you're favorite flowers. Buying you something you wanted for a while or something you mentioned wanting a while ago that you thought he wouldn't remember. And he will make sure you come back to a spotless and beautiful home after you calm down. Not to mention he transfers 100,000 credits to your account while you're out or asleep. And when you finally are in front of him again he will apologize sincerely, dropping his cocky and suave tone for a genuine and sad-sounding one

He's also willing to do whatever you want after. Shopping at his expense? Cuddling all night? Making him cook you something? Whatever your heart desires he will make it happen for you

Also, expect to be asked to come with him to casinos more often so that he can keep you near and dear during his wins, you are his lucky charm after all ;)

Sunday

This man is tricky. He always presents himself as a cool, collected, and intelligent man who cares deeply. And he does care deeply for you. But sometimes he has his moments, the ones that are darker, selfish, greedy, and just downright mean. He may have said something hurtful while stressed and told you that you're a burden and an annoyance to him, but he didn't mean a single word of it.

"Aeons you're an annoyance you know that? Why must you be a burden now of all times? Can't you see that I am doing more important work and that coddling you will never be my priority?"

Oops... He didn't mean to say that, but that's something he realizes after he's cooled down and had time to reflect. Sunday doesn't mean anything he said, truthfully, he just exploded and said anything to get some alone time... and now he's fucked up big time.

If you get angry Sunday can and will argue with you. He's not for a screaming match, but he will spew venom to beat you're anger and make you stop talking/yelling, even if that leads to him saying even more hurtful things that make you angrier/sadder. In the moment of anger and stress, he doesn't even think about what he's saying, for once he just lets out all his feelings and that unfortunately means he's letting out decades worth of anger and stress onto you

If you start crying, in the moment Sunday says one more hurtful comment about you being pitiful and emotional before stalking off, leaving you alone. Once he's calmed down he stares off into space with a haunted look on his face as he replays the things he said to you and the look on your face before he left. He feels like a dick, like a failure. You were the second person he promised himself to never hurt and now he's made you cry and feel like some worthless burden.

If you throw something he's insecure about in his face he can take it, but in the moment it causes some more venomous anger to come from him. It will prolong the current fight and he's going to start trying to hit below the belt to match your energy. He feels this is fair and just in the moment since you're trying to hit below his belt. Later though he just feels childish and bad since he was the one to start this argument and he deserved to be told those things and he shouldn't have responded to them at all

Sunday will make it up to you by finding you after some time. He sends a text first so you know he's coming, and to let you tell him that he should stay away a little longer if you need some more time to calm down and think. He comes with a bouquet of flowers, a custom one that in flower language means he's regretful and incredibly sorry. He will tell you from his heart that he is sorry, and that he didn't mean any of those things he said. He'll ask what he can do to show you that he is really sorry and means his apology. And he will do anything at all. Buying you something, doing something for you, he'll even do something embarrassing despite being the head of the Oak Family if it means you will accept his apology and continue to be with him

And don't even try to apologize back for anything said or done. He will stop you in your tracks and make sure you know he isn't hurt by anything said, if anything he deserved every word and more in his opinion

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[heliads]

Let Me in Your Life (and I Swear I'll Never Leave It)

As one of Lewis Hamilton's oldest friends, you're sure he'll be nothing but happy for you when you're finally offered a Formula One contract. Lewis, however, remembers what competition like that can do to a friendship, and his reaction isn't what you expect.

masterlist

You don’t know it’s over until you see him.

That shouldn’t have been enough. It wouldn’t have been enough for anyone else. They would have seen his smile and thought that he was genuinely happy for you when you told him that all of your wildest dreams were finally coming true. So much of you wanted to believe him when he told you that he couldn’t be more proud that you almost convinced yourself of it.

Almost. Unfortunately, the part of you that has known Lewis Hamilton since you were a kid also knows his tells, and you watched the way his fingers twisted in front of him until you couldn’t take it any longer. Until you knew what he wouldn’t say to you on a perfectly good night like this, which is that Lewis was not pleased that you were finally entering Formula One, and no amount of wanting will fix that.

It cuts to the bone. This had been a lovely evening. You only get so many chances to spend time with Lewis outside of the media circus of a Formula One or Two paddock, so you really wanted to make this one count. You had even kept your good news to yourself just in case he wasn’t as thrilled about it as you were, feeling the secret burn against you all through the dinner at the nice restaurant whose menu you double, triple, and quadruple-checked to ensure that there were good vegan options. You withheld the news through wine, through pleasant laughter, even through the check, but you couldn’t keep it back afterwards.

The restaurant was nice enough. Lewis always looked good in expensive places. He fit in quite well in any scenario, but his smile was practiced and he never missed a social cue so long as he could help it. That’s what years of constant scrutiny does to you, you suppose; never again will the two of you be thirteen years old and utterly ignorant of the difference between salad and dessert forks. You miss the boy who could mess up around you. You haven’t seen him in a while, even ignoring both of your hectic travel schedules.

Lewis tends to get antsy after a heavy meal, the product of too much time spent around Mercedes-grade nutritionists and personal trainers, so the two of you went on a walk outside after leaving the restaurant. The air was crisp and cool, and dark enough that you could walk freely without being recognized. You had looked up at the stars overhead and made a wish that nothing would hurt you tonight.

Maybe you whispered the wish aloud as you said it, or maybe Lewis has always been able to read your mind and ruined the magic that way, because it wasn’t even half an hour before that desperate plea to the heavens was shattered along with your peace of mind.

You couldn’t keep it in any longer. All your life, you’ve wanted to make it to the Formula One circuit. Lewis has known this just about as long as you. You met him while karting, and you’ve been best friends ever since. You used to race everywhere– on the track, down the hall, whoever could make it to the door of their hotel room wins bragging rights for the next night at least– but over time, Lewis was able to make it up the Formula One ladder faster than you, and then you weren’t racing together any more but watching each other race in different circuits.

You did your best not to let it sting. Lewis has faced far more than his fair share of roadblocks. Maybe he always wanted it a little more than you, then, because no matter how hard you tried to follow in his path, your feet keep dragging in his dust. It took forever to get to F3, and you never thought you’d ever see the day when you made it to F2.

Now you’re just one good finish away from winning the Formula Two driver’s championship, and better still, you’re about to sign a contract with a Formula One team. After all this time, it’s finally yours. You’re still in talks about the nuances of the legal binding, but it’s basically in the bag.

Your family is aware, but you knew you needed to tell Lewis as well, even before the signing, because he’s basically your other half. You had always assumed that he would take it well, that he’d be just as thrilled for you as Nico was for Lewis when he first signed. When you bring up the subject, though, you can tell from the delicate shuttering of Lewis’ face that you were, for the first time in a long time, completely wrong about him.

The two of you are walking down a moonlit bridge when you finally say it. “I was meeting with an F1 team yesterday,” you tell him, “I think they’re going to sign me. We’ve been going over the contract for a while now and it’s basically all ironed out. The only thing left is to actually shake on it.”

You pause, waiting for the hearty congratulations he doled out when you made it to F3, then F2, but for F1, you’re only greeted with silence. You look at him, heart in your throat, but when you finally bring yourself to meet his eyes, you’re only greeted with– disappointment.

When the silence gets painful, Lewis coughs and looks away. “That’s– that’s great, Y/N. Really.”

You stare at him in disbelief. “Really?”

Lewis has the grace to look ashamed. “I know I might not sound– it’s a fantastic accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself.”

“I am,” you say slowly, “but are you proud of me? Because you certainly don’t look it right now. And it’s not just an accomplishment, Lew, this has been my dream for years. You know that.”

“I do,” Lewis answers you, but his voice is distant and he hasn’t looked you in the eyes since you first brought up the news.

It makes your blood run cold in your veins. In all the scenarios you’d imagined of how he’d react, you pictured his jaw dropping with surprise, his face immediately lighting up, him immediately texting his brother and the rest of his family the news. You never expected that he would actually be unhappy about it.

“Then why are you acting like this?” You gesture at him. “At least fake a smile, Lewis, I know you can.”

He looks at you at last, and you wince at the genuine hurt blinking back at you. “Don’t do it, Y/N,” he says suddenly.

You feel as if the breath has been stolen out of your lungs. “What?”

“Don’t do it,” he repeats, “Go to Indycar or Le Mans or Race of Champions. Do something crazy, something fun. Hell, try them all. Don’t let this be the end-all, be-all of your racing aspirations.”

There’s no way you’re hearing him properly. “You think I shouldn’t join Formula One? After all this time practically killing myself to get in, you want me to just walk away?” You shake your head slowly. “You had better have a good reason for this, because you’re my oldest friend and I know that friends wouldn’t do this to each other. You could have just said you were happy for me.”

Lewis’ gaze turns pleading. “You don’t know what it’s like in there. We go for each other’s throats all the time. I can’t let it destroy us.”

The night is silent. You watch the water lapping at the shores below as if in a dream. All is dark. Even the stars seem burned out overhead. Nothing good has happened here. Nothing worth the light of the moon above.

He says, “I don’t want to lose you. Not like everybody else.”

You say, “If you don’t let me do this, you will have lost me before I even start.”

You give him one last chance to change his mind. When he stays silent, you turn on your heel and leave. The sound of your shoes clicking against the cobblestones is maddeningly loud, drowning out all but the tumultuous beat of your heart. He doesn’t try to stop you. He does not do anything at all.

You call a taxi. The ride is quiet. You have half a mind to direct the driver to a club or something instead so you don’t have to live with that engulfing silence any longer, but instead you just have him drive you to your door and leave you there. You barely make it inside before breaking down in loud sobs that wrack your entire body. He should have told you how much he wanted you there. He should have told you how much he wanted you.

You wait until your tears dry, then call up the team principal of the F1 team and tell him you’re interested in signing the contract as soon as possible. They’re glad to hear it, and pleased enough that they don’t hear the wobble of your voice on the other end.

The rest of the season passes without a hitch. You win the F2 championship and are able to announce your contract not soon afterwards. All of the F1 drivers who cross your path make sure to congratulate you, and every one of their declarations of praise only hurts twice as much when you remember the one man who hasn’t said a word to you yet.

Winter break is eventful, even more than you were expecting. There are a hundred forms to sign and a thousand videos to film, countless mechanics to meet and endless trainings to complete. You’re given enough team kits to clothe a small nation. You officially meet your teammate on your first tour of the team facilities, and he is perfectly civil to you, even kind. He isn’t Lewis, though, and that’s enough for you to be disappointed.

At last, you reach the week before testing starts for the new season. You’re in a hotel room booked under your new team. It’s strange being here now after wanting this for so long. For years, you’ve dreamed of what it would be like to finally be here, and now you’re flopped on your hotel bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if it’ll look different when you’ve raced in a Formula One car for the first time.

Truth be told, it’s terrifying. You thought you would know what to do by now, having repeated this process in the previous two series, but everything feels different now that you’re at the top. No one expects championships from a rookie in her first season, but you can’t help but feel that eyes are on you.

A knock on your door, and you’re immediately grateful to whoever it is for interrupting your relentless panicked musing on the infinite ways that tomorrow could go wrong. You pad over the door and open it without checking, expecting to be greeted by your teammate or your trainer or any one of the staff of your new team.

Instead, you swing open the door to find Lewis staring at you, hands in his pockets. You immediately jerk to a stop, so surprised that you even forget usual pleasantries like saying hello or asking how he’s been.

Lewis forgets too. The two of you stare at each other for what feels like centuries but could just be a few moments until he coughs, looks briefly at his feet and then back at you, and says, “I remember that you always overthink things the night before a big change. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

You nod a little too quickly. “I’m fine. Just, yeah, overthinking.”

A ghost of a smile flickers over Lewis’ lips, then disappears just as quickly. “Thought so. Do you mind if I come in? There’s actually a lot I need to say.”

An ugly, cruel part of your brain immediately whispers oh, now you have a lot to say? But you manage to shut it up before you say it and wordlessly gesture for him to enter the hotel room. You check the hallway before shutting the door, but no one’s there, no cameras. This isn’t a trap. It’s just a friend visiting a friend, something he used to do all the time before he decided that he would not be able to live with himself if he didn’t stop you from trying to reach your biggest dream.

When you head back inside, Lewis is leaning against the windows, idly peering outside. “You have a good view,” he notes.

You fold your arms across your chest. “You’re not here to discuss the perks of my hotel room.”

“No, I’m not,” Lewis agrees. “I’m here to apologize.”

This takes you by surprise. “You are?”

He nods. “I shouldn’t have tried to stop you. God knows I would have hated it if you had said something like that to me before I joined McLaren.”

Your brow furrows. “Then why did you say it to me?”

Lewis lets out a quiet, horror-struck sigh. “Because I meant part of it. I am terrified of losing you, Y/N. I know how competition can get in between friends. You know how well I know that. Nico’s already– we’re different now, and I can’t take it if I lose you, too.”

He breaks off, lost in thought, and you feel a pang in your heart as if struck by a blade. You and Nico were friends separate from the great doing and undoing of Lewis and Nico, but that was sort of inevitable. It feels as if every kid who was good at karting in your area eventually became friends, but all that did was give you a front row ticket to the so-called Silver War. What a terrible thing, to know someone like a brother and then only be able to speak to them through corporate meetups and scheduled interviews. What a horrific end to something that had once been, well, everything.

Your hands tense at your sides. “I’m not Nico.”

“I know that,” he says, almost frustrated, “I know. Trust me, I know. I have always known you. I know that we’ll be able to make it through anything, but I’m afraid of risking it. I knew at some point you’d get called up here, you’re too fast for them to ignore you, but I was hoping to have at least a little more time.”

You tilt your head to the side, frowning. “I thought you guessed already. Isn’t that why we scheduled that dinner?”

“No,” Lewis murmurs, “I scheduled that dinner because I wanted to tell you that I loved you.”

The ground has been pulled out beneath your feet. No, not just the ground– the very earth itself, every star in the sky and every heavenly body in the cosmos. You are abruptly removed from everything you have ever believed, because you know Lewis better than anyone and so you would have known if he loved you, you would have figured it out a long time ago. There is no way you wouldn’t have been able to tell. No way he could take you by surprise like this.

“No,” you whisper.

“Yes,” Lewis says simply. “I was going to do it after keeping it a secret for so long. And then you told me that we were going to be competitors, and I thought it was all going to be over. And I panicked and told you to leave, and you hated me, and it turns out I didn’t even need us crashing into each other on track to kill our friendship. I did that all by myself.”

“It isn’t dead,” you tell him fiercely. “Not in the slightest.”

He doesn’t seem to believe you. “We fought. We never do that.”

“That’s unrealistic,” you point out. “Everyone fights. Even married couples.”

“We’re not married, and you don’t even love me back,” Lewis argues.

You arch a brow. “How do you know that?”

“I would know,” he says without a trace of suspicion. 

God, he’s just as stubborn as you. Just as set in his own ways. Maybe that’s why it has always been the two of you, even after everything. Maybe that’s why you always chose him in every friend group, in every issue, in every race. No one understands you like Lewis, and no one ever will. No one will stand by your side no matter what, no one will say what you need to hear because no one knows exactly how you work like Lewis does.

Still, you can surprise him from time to time. He certainly doesn’t expect it when you cross the room in a few brisk strides, when you reach across the chasm of one fight and one great misunderstanding to kiss him. It takes him a moment to realize what you’re doing and what this means, and then his hands are on your hips, pulling you closer, because Lewis will never give up an advantage when it is offered to him and right now Lewis wants this more than anything. He wants you, more than anything.

“You’re never going to let me hear the end of it when you finish ahead of me in a race, are you?” He asks in a half-mumble against your lips.

You smile, and you can feel his returning grin when he kisses you again. “Absolutely not. You never let me off that easily when we were kids.”

“We’re not kids anymore,” Lewis points out.

“No,” you say slowly, “We’re not, are we?”

It is not a bad thing. In fact, looking at all the years you have, all the races together, all the plane tickets you’ll book side by side, all the hotel rooms you’ll share, you think you like this new era of your life quite a bit better than anything. Lewis would have to agree, if the shine in his eyes means anything at all. Both of you will never be the same, but you will never be like this again, either. We are all different, all the time, but the one thing that will never change is how you do it:  together, always together.

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy, @juphey

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[eternalbuckley]

Insecurities. — evan buckley

SUMMARY: Reader gets insecure about their body after meeting Taylor Kelly. Buck is their to comfort them and tell them how beautiful they are.

word count: 1,166

genre: fluff, comfort | gn!reader, queer!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: a tiny bit of angst, heavy fluff, reader being insecure about their body, mention about weight lose, mention of comments from bullies, established relationship, use of pet names (babe, darling, my love), english is not my first language — if i forgot something, please let me know!

a/n: Thank you for this request anon, I'M SO SORRY tumblr deleted your request (i didn't know it would happen if you put in in your drafts.. guess i learned something new) but I still hope you'll find this story. I hope you had an amazing day as well! This topic is a very important one for me and I'm super sorry that it's so short but I still like the end result and I truly hope you'll like it. Might write more stories that are about comfort in the future soon! Enjoy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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Why was she so beautiful? Or is? Why would he be with you? He could go back to her immediately. Or even back to anyone else he dated so far or could date.

'She is prettier than you anyway,' you kept asking yourself these questions while you were standing in front of your mirror and looking at your body.

She’s skinnier than you, why would he be with someone like you? Taylor Kelly seemed to be perfect and you thought you were not.

“She’s so gorgeous…” you mumbled to yourself with tears in your eyes.

You slowly started sobbing more and tried to ignore your insecure thoughts but they were too much. You didn’t like your body, being plus size was always something you knew most of society wouldn’t accept. ‘You have to be skinny to get men’s attention’, ‘Be pretty’, ‘Don’t be fat’, ‘If you’re plus size you’re ugly’ and so much more. It was exhausting, especially hearing comments like these in your teenage years. They always made you insecure and you ended up crying in your room many many times. You didn’t know what to do and nothing ever helped. You tried a lot of ways to lose weight and get skinnier but nothing worked. People made fun of you for that and since then you never really got over your insecurities.

How can be the world such a cruel place for something you can’t control?

You didn’t want to let stupid comments from those people ruin your life. But your insecurities came back after you recently met Taylor Kelly, one of your boyfriends, ex-girlfriends.

You knew what she looked like from seeing her on your TV but in reality, she was much more beautiful and skinnier than you. And that made you insecure. You didn’t exactly know what happened between her and Buck and why they broke up. But if you would only go after looks, she would win against you. At least that’s what you kept thinking about yourself.

Buck on the other hand was the happiest person on earth knowing he had you on his side. It has been almost two years since you officially got into a relationship and he has been the happiest since then. He always made sure to compliment you every single day. Whether it was in person or over texts but he never forgot. Not one day. He loved seeing you blushing over his compliments and genuinely being happy about his words. They let you feel better. He just didn’t know how insecure it made you meeting Taylor, not yet.

Buck came up behind you and kissed your cheek. He wrapped his arms around you and eventually noticed the tears in your eyes and your sobs.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” He turned you around and hugged you.

You snuggled up into him and hid your face in his chest without answering his question. You finally let go of your tears and cried in his arms. He whispered sweet nothings to you and rubbed your back to comfort you. He sat down with you on your shared bed and let you cry it all out. Buck always wanted to make sure that you feel loved and comfortable in his presence. But one thing that was really important to him, was to give you always the time you need. It didn’t matter for what reason. If it was just for you to get ready for a date or even giving you all the time to feel comfortable around him. He would always wait for you. Which wasn’t the easiest part for you as well but you trusted Buck with your life. You loved him and how happy he made you. How he made sure that you feel completely safe with him. You admired this side of him the most.

You eventually stopped sobbing after some time and slowly got calm. You still didn’t let go of him but he tried to ask you again about the reason for your current emotional state.

You sighed, your voice was still trembling. “Taylor Kelly…”

He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to look at you but you still hid your face in his chest. “What about her? Did she say something to you? Do I need to talk with her to leave you alone? Did she-“

“No, no,” you slightly chuckled about his protective side and turned your head to look at him. “I just- Have you seen her? She’s gorgeous, Buck. Look at how skinny she is compared to me. I’m just me and she? She’s Taylor Kelly. A beautiful and no plus-sized girl. Like… Why are you with me? You could have her or any other person that is skinnier than I am, Buck.”

Your insecurities were growing again while you were looking at your boyfriend. You saw his admiring eyes but speaking your insecurity out loud was hard. That’s probably a reason you spoke faster than usual. His eyes showed a hint of sadness, about your words. Hearing you talking about yourself in that way hurt him because he didn't want that you are hurting. Buck knew about your past and what your former classmates did and said to you, he thinks it's horrible and you would never deserve that. No one would. Bullying is one of the worst things someone can experience and seeing what this can do to people hurts him the most. Especially seeing his most important person (you) like that. Buck wished he could take away all your pain and turn it into something beautiful.

Buck kissed your forehead, “And I absolutely don’t care about this at all. I have the most beautiful person sitting in my arms right now. And let me tell you, every time I look at this person my heart swells so badly because of all the love my heart holds for that one special person. That is sitting in my arms by the way, in case I didn’t mention that already.” He took a breath. “And I love them with my entire life, no one can compare to them at all. They’re the definition of beauty.”

Tears build up in your eyes again and you kissed his jaw. Buck chuckled and nudged your nose.

“I would never want to be with Taylor or any other person just because they look different than you. I really don’t care about this, my love. I only care about you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re the most beautiful and kind person I’ve ever seen and no one can ever compare to you. I love you and nothing can and will ever change that.”

He eventually softly kissed you on the lips which caused a smile on yours.

“I love you too, Buck. And I never want to lose you," your voice was still a bit weak.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. You won’t get rid of me that easily, darling.” He grinned at you and kissed your nose afterwards.

[kai29haavertz]

It's About Time

WC: 3.5k

Summary: Your in love with your best friend, but he's in a dedicated relationship. Trouble ensues after a Chelsea game.

Genre: Fluff, light (if you could even call it that) angst, it's really hust two idiots pinning for each other.

fem reader, implied german reader but you can skip over that, it's like three lines referencing it.

Don't think they're any warnings, but it was horribly proofread so just keep that in mind.

The first time you met his girlfriend you didn't know what to expect. 

A part of you wanted her to be the best person possible for Kai. But another part of you, the small part of you that has loved him since you were kids, wanted her to be just even a little bit mean. Because then you could have justifications for your reservations towards their relationship. You wouldn't want to break them up. Even on the off chance she was mean, she made Kai happy. But at least you would have a justification and would feel better about feeling jealous of their new relationship. 

But that wasn't the case. 

When you met Sloane, she was anything but mean to you. She was the sweetest person and showed a genuine interest in your life, and that's better than any of his previous girls. But now you didn't have a reason to be disappointed about their relationship. How could you when she was everything Kai deserved in someone? She’s a gorgeous business owner who lived an hour or so from their hometown, sweeter than spice, and loved football. And on top of all that, his teammates adore her. When Kai invited Sloane to her first Chelsea game as a WAG, where you also met her for the first time, you could tell the boys loved her from the start. And it wasn't all of them thinking she was gorgeous, though some of those thoughts definitely were present in some of the teammate's heads. But regardless, they thought she was the best and perfect for Kai. 

Though after you first met Sloane, Kai of course had to ask for your input. He did that with everything, saying your opinion mattered the most to him. As much as you wanted to be the one in Sloane's position, you couldn't ruin their relationship, so you did the only thing you could do in that situation. 

"I adore her, she's so sweet and I think she's perfect for you." You assured him with a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. But the lighting was dim at Ben's house so you prayed to anyone who was listening that he couldn't see through the facade you put up for him. You did think Sloane was wonderful, that wasn't a lie. You just wished it wasn't the two of them dating, but you'd lost your chance. There was a hint of something in his eyes, probably gratitude for your approval. He gave you a hug and whispered something in your ear, but you couldn't quite catch it over the loud music. You just smiled it off and hoped that was an appropriate enough response, you weren't in the mood to hear whatever he said. 

About six months later and their relationship is still going strong. Maybe you haven't moved on from Kai but at the very least you're able to keep your emotions in check. 

You’re at another Chelsea game. Only you and Sloane were here on Kai’s side today, which was a little awkward for you. Usually, his sister or mother were here and would act as a sort of buffer for the two of you. Especially since both Kai’s mom and sister have caught on at least a little bit about your slight crush on Kai. Thankfully, neither of them has really called you out on it besides a couple of comments and facial expressions here and there.  

But today it was just Sloane and you, and quite frankly, you weren’t sure what to do. Conversations between the two of you weren’t awkward per se, but they didn’t flow as if the both of you have been friends forever.  

Before the game starts Sloane suggests that you should get a drink with her. You both make small talk at the bar. You ask her about her business and how it’s going, and she asks you about the latest thing you’ve been designing for adidas. Like you said, she tries to take a genuine interest in your life and that makes it ten times harder to dislike them. It’s impossible. She flips her blonde face away from her head and has a more serious expression on her face.  

“So, you and Kai have been friends for a while, right?” The question catches you off guard. What prompted her to ask this? Have you been less stealthy about your crush? Or was she just curious. You had a sneaking suspicion that she wasn’t just asking out of curiosity. 

“Yes, we have. We met in primary school; we started becoming friends a couple months after I moved into the neighborhood. And I guess from there we just formed an unbreakable friendship.” You shrug it off, hoping that’s the end of that. You love talking about Kai but you’re afraid this conversation may soon turn into an interrogation.  

“Oh okay, that’s cute.” Sloane says off handedly and goes back to sipping her drink. It seems like she’s going to give the conversation a rest when a few minutes later she asks another question. “So, nothing has ever gone on with you and Kai?” You almost spit out your drink. You take a moment to assess her really quickly. Her green eyes are looking everywhere but you. You notice her perfectly manicured nails have almost a death grip on her drink and her hand is shaking ever so slightly.  

“Nothing has ever gone on between the two of us, at least not like that. We’ve just been friends our whole lives. No kiss no nothing.” You try to reassure her. She takes a deep breath, and she visibly relaxes.  

“Okay,” she says more brightly. She talks to you a little bit more about some problems she’s been facing with her business; but the game is about to start and neither of you want to miss Kai or his teammates’ play so she begins to meander her way to her seat.  

“I’ll be there in a moment; I have to take a phone call quickly.” She gives you a thumbs up as you start to walk away.  

Truthfully, you didn’t have to call someone. But you just needed one moment to regain yourself before you go out and spend 90+ minutes with Sloane and hope she doesn’t ask you another question about you and Kai. Nothing has ever gone on but the reminder stings sometimes. Especially with all the times you were close.  

 Last season at some event at one of his teammates' houses, you were both a little tipsier than you should’ve been. But it didn't matter at the time, you were both drunk off of happiness that Chelsea had won again, and Kai had scored a goal. You spent the entire night dancing and you two eventually went over to his house and spent the rest of the evening together. Before the two of you fell asleep you were watching a show in his bedroom with you snuggled up to his side and his arm draped over your shoulder. You felt so safe and protected and loved that in that moment, you swore you were going to pour all your feelings to him. He looked down at you and gave the softest of smiles and you were going to say something.  

 Of course the moment had to be interrupted by a phone call from someone. And that was the end of that. You couldn’t find the courage to do it when he got back so you pretended like you were asleep and left promptly the next morning.  

When you had finally composed yourself you returned to your seat next to Sloane and spent the next 90 minutes cheering for your boys in blue.  

The game told the same story as most of the other games this season. A scoreless tie for Chelsea as they continue to fall down the table. Despite it not being the result they wanted, the boys still wanted to go meet up at Ben’s place and hang out for a little bit. You and Sloane get a text from Kai in groupchat with the three of you inviting you to Ben’s place after.  

 Kai: I might be a bit if you two want to drive over, I’ll meet you there 

Sloane: Sounds good! 

“I can drive you over if you’d like. I know you drove over with Kai.” Sloane’s face lights up.  

 “Of course, thank you so much. I adore Kai but he’s going to be in a bad mood, and I’d rather not wait what could be an eternity for him.” You smile at her, and you lead her over to her car.  

 Ben’s girlfriend opens the door for the both of you.  

 “The boys should be here within the hour, make yourself at home, there are some drinks outside.” Laila offers it to you and Sloane. You grab some soda from outside and curl up on the couch scrolling through TikTok, waiting for everyone.  

By the end of the hour the Chelsea boys start to show up. Kai of course goes over to Sloane and says something in her ear before he makes his way over to you.  

“Not the greatest day at Stamford, was it?” He tries and jokes with you. You turn around and wrap him up in a big hug.  

 “Hey, you played amazing today, I’m sorry the score didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to.” You pull away from him, but he keeps an arm around your shoulder as boys start to talk about random things. It’s oddly intimate considering you’re not his girlfriend and he hasn’t let you leave his side yet. As Kai continues talking to Christian you see Sloane out of the corner of your eye, and you realize this isn’t fair to her. 

 “Excuse me, , I’ll be right back.” You get up rather abruptly and all but sprint past Sloane. She looks at you with something sad in her eyes.  

 You walk into one of Ben’s sitting rooms and shortly after someone joins you.  

 “Oh, hi Christian,” you say surprised. He takes a seat next to you. “Is there anything you need?”  

“When are you and Kai going to sort out your problems?” You almost choke on your drink.  

“I- what?” 

 “You heard me; you guys are perfect for each other and yet you always dance around each other,” he stated as you glare at him.  

 “I’m sorry, but where have you been? If he liked me so much, then why is he dating Sloane?”  

 “Because he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with you.” Your jaw tightens a little. This conversation is beyond stupid, and you do not want to deal with it. You go to get up, but he grabs your arm to prevent you from moving. 

“Well, I certainly don’t have one now because he’s in a relationship and no matter how much I love him I will not get in the middle of it. He is happy with her, and I won’t do anything to damage that.” Christian’s eyes widen at your declaration, and you realize what you said.  

 “I um- well,” you stammer incoherent nonsense.  

 “You guys deserve the world and I'm just so tired of you guys dancing around each other.”  

 “But he’s dating Sloane- “you start to argue.  

 “That relationship can’t last. And between you and me, I know Mason is trying to show that Kai isn’t being fair to Sloane,” he tries to reason with you as you slump back down on the couch. “Just promise me, you’ll shoot your shot when the time comes.”  

 “Fine, but if something bad happens I’m blaming it all on you,” you stated to him, and he just shakes his head at you.  

 “You can do that little German, but I can say with almost a 100% certainty that if they break up and you say something to him, the both of you will be so happy.”  

 He gets up to leave you alone for a bit.  

“Oh and little German? You would make a great WAG. But to be fair, you’re practically one already.” He sees your ears go bright pink at the statement and how your eyes shoot down to the ground to avoid his eye contact. He quietly laughs as he closes the door to leave you be.  

****** 

As the party comes to an end after a couple hours, Kai realizes he hasn’t seen you around since you went to one of the side rooms with Christian on your tail.  

“Ready Sloane?” Kai extends his hand to help Sloane up from the couch so they can get over to his place. He leads her to his car and the ride home is tense and someone could cut a knife through the tension.  

 “Sloane?”  

 “Just drive.” She responds curtly and goes back to staring out the window. After a few minutes she puts in her airpods to signal she doesn’t want to talk to him right now. As he pulls up to his driveway she rushes out of the car and punches the code into his garage. He takes a big sigh before getting out of the car, knowing what is probably to come for him.  

 He walks into his house and sees Sloane pacing around the couches in their living room.  

 “Sloane, love, sit down for me, will you?” She just glares at him before she takes a deep breath.  

“No and you know why? Because ever since we started dating you were attached to her hip, and I tried telling myself that it was just my imagination. And for a while I was able to believe that. But every once in a while something would happen between the two of you that would make me think otherwise.”  

 “Nothing has ever gone on between the two of us,” he tries to protest but the look she sends his way silences him.  

 “You don’t love me, and that’s okay. Maybe it took me a while to accept that but now I can because I just want you happy, and if that’s with her that’s okay.”  

 “Sloane, I love you,” he pleaded. 

“No, you don’t, you love her, but you don’t think you can have her, so you settled for me.” She snaps at him, not wanting to be hurt anymore. “It’s time you move on from me to her. And it’s time for me to move on from you. We don’t make sense together; we never did, and it took me too long to figure that out. But it’s not fair for any of us involved to continue with this relationship.” She starts to walk out the door and drops the keys to his and her house on the kitchen counter.  

“Despite the not so wonderful ending I am glad I met you.”  

“I’m sorry it had to end this way,” he admits dejectedly. “I never meant for it to happen like this.” She turns to face him in the entrance. 

“I am too, but at least we didn’t drag it out any more than it needed to be.” She opens the door and takes a few steps outside towards her car. “Oh, and Kai? Please talk to her, you two deserve your happy ending.” She walks into her car and drives off.  

 Kai stands there defeated but knows what he needs to do next 

**** 

It’s late. Almost midnight. And you can’t even begin to fathom who just pulled up into your driveway. Lucky for whoever, most nights you can’t fall asleep until close to 2. A benefit of being a night owl. While walking over you take a peek out your window.  

 “Is that Kai’s car?” You murmur to yourself while you walk to the door that someone just knocked on.  

 You hope it’s one of your friends and nothing’s wrong, not really feeling having to run an errand so late at night.  

 You open the door and sure enough, it is Kai at the front. Eyes cast downward, as if ashamed he’s here so late.  

 “Kai, to what do I owe the pleasure. Come in, I was just moving stuff around in the kitchen.” He shakes his head at you slightly.  

 “Leave it to you to remodel in the middle of the night.”  

 You wink at him playfully. “It’s the late-night tendencies.” He takes a seat on your couch and you finally take a good look at him and see something is wrong. His eyes look bloodshot, as if he’s been crying for the last hour. His right pinky is twitching back and forth, something he only does when nervous. A habit that he mostly grew out of, but clearly not enough if he’s doing it in your presence.  

 “Kai, what’s the matter?” He looks up at you as you slowly sit next to him. He buries his head in your shoulder, and you raise a hand to it and scratch his hair lightly. He sits there and you let him decide if he wants to talk, not wanting to pry.  

 “Sloane and I broke up.” He tells you after a couple minutes sitting in silence.  

 “Oh Kai.” He cuddles deeper into your embrace as you wrap your other hand around your shoulders. You coax him into lying down on the couch on top of you. It’s like the days when you were teens and would watch movies late on the weekends when you couldn’t sleep. He would tease you about being restless but cuddling with him would always make you fall asleep quickly.  

 You move your nails up and down his back to help him relax. “Do you want to talk about it?” You ask after a couple minutes.  

 “In a moment,” he mumbles into your shoulder. “Just wan’ to relax for a moment.” His accent is getting heavier, you notice. You continue to move your hand around his back in a soothing way for a while longer before he finally speaks up.  

 “We broke up because I wasn’t faithful.” You lightly gasp.  

 “You never touched anyone though,” you try to protest but he just shakes his head.  

“Not like that. My heart wasn’t in it, and she realized it.”  

He stays like that for a while longer, you look over to the clock and see it’s almost His breathing hasn’t changed so you know he hasn;t fallen asleep yet. With your heart in your throat, you ask the one question you’ve been dying to ask.  

“Why wasn’t your heart in it Kai?”  

“Schatz-” he starts to protest before you cut him off.  

“Kai, love, why wasn’t your heart in it?” 

He looks into your eyes before he takes a deep breath.  

 "Because I love you,” he admits quietly before his head falls down into your shoulder in embarrassment. “Don’t make me say it again,” he begs softly,softly, and you feel a tear run down your shoulder blade.  

“That’s a shame, because I quite like how those words sound coming off your lips. Especially when they’re directed at me.” You say quietly and his eyes shoot up.  

 “You mean,” he trails off slightly.  

 “Yes Kai, I love you too.” His strong arms wrap around you.  

 “Say that again, exactly like that. Like you mean it.”  

 “I love you, Kai. I don’t think you understand how long I've been wanting to admit that for.”  

“Not as long as me.” He presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’ve been waiting since we were ten.” You look at him in disbelief and his gaze locks with yours. He gives a sheepish smile.  

“So, you’ve been hopelessly in love with me since forever and didn’t act upon it until tonight?” You ask incredulously.  

“Thought I never had a chance with you,” he admits with a shrug. “And Sloane said that I should stop dancing around you and find my happy ending.”  

“I am sorry you two broke up,” you tell him with a hint of shame. “I never wanted to get in between the two of you.”  

“I am too, but it was for the best. And don’t worry about it, it wasn't your fault. It’s my fault for entertaining something that could never truly be.” He moves his head under yours and wraps his arms together around your frame, like he was a kid reaching for his teddy bear in the middle of the night.  

“Kai, I love you, but we can't stay like this the entire night.” He pushes you back down as you try to squirm out of his grip.  

 “Five more minutes Schatz, let me enjoy this.” You shake your head but give in.  

 “Fine, five more minutes then we’re moving to my bedroom. We have a lot more to talk about in the morning.”  

 “This is it right? We’re together?” He stares into your eyes, involuntarily giving you the puppy dog eyes. He leans into your touch when you stroke his hair with your hand.  

 “Yes, don’t worry, you’re it for me and I have no intentions of letting you go.” He lets out a shuddering breath at your confession. He leans in for a kiss on the lips. It’s tentative and sweet and slow.  

 “I love you Schatz.” 

“I love you too.” There’s a lot to discuss tomorrow. More reassurances to give on both of your parts. But for now, you can lay peacefully in each other's arms, without any worries.  

[basu-shokikita]

Your skwistok duel rants have actually made me ship them. I've been rewatching the series and I'm starting to see more sparks than I did on my first couple watches. Any other big series moments that have you seeing more of their compatibility?

ahhh really?? that's so nice to hear ;o; i love my silly boys

hmm well, tbh skwisgaar accepting toki into the band was what sold me out on skwistok for good. but it's exactly because it explained EVERYTHING for me. before watching dsr i liked skwistok but i was convinced it was a one-sided deal on toki's part. but once that we were shown that it was skwisgaar who welcomed him into dethklok, that it was skwisgaar and skwisgaar only who wanted him in it i was like oh shit...he loves him back....

so rewatching the series with this origin story in mind, made me see them under a new light, particularly when it came to skwisgaar. whereas before i saw skwisgaar being uncaring of toki, i was now realizing that he did care, he just had a shitty way of showing it. he's a tough love kinda guy. yet, he's still a bit possessive of him and pretty protective for his cold bitch standards.

but anyway for skwistok moments that i find important in no order:

skwisgaar's weird jealous tantrum when he walks into toki and his guitar teacher in dethlessons. it's fucking hysterical but i'm also fascinated with the way it's framed like toki is cheating on skwisgaar. which skwisgaar definitely thought, by the way. yes, he was worried about toki becoming better than him but imo he was also upset about toki having a guitar bond with anyone that wasn't him. and hey, after the duel? it makes total sense.

skwistok drunk driving and shooting at the beginning of dethrace. i've already talked about how funny it is to me that skwisgaar was doing that with toki but mostly i think it speaks miles about the both of them that they chose each other to go fuck around and break the law. like, these guys are actually close???

in the same vein, skwistok pranking murderface in prankklok. the way toki lies in skwisgaar's bed so comfortably, like he's been there soo many times that it's essentially his room too. his two little feet dangling in the air, silly laugh while listening to skwisgaar on the phone. it's so fucking cute they love each other's company so much

the infamous 'stop copies me' from dethcarraldo. not only does it send me to tears everytime but it showcases their competitive nature in a way that i find both endearing and cute. i mean, toki repeating everything skwisgaar says and refusing to acknowledge it??? and skwisgaar acting like an offended child about it?? these guys share the braincell, how can you ever separate them?

toki dressing up as skwisgaar in the dethklok tribute band. stealing his clothes. acting stupid when skwisgaar pointed it out. looking absolutely elated when he was called skwisgaar skwigelf in that shitty club. shit out of a fanfic i swear. and then not only that but skwisgaar being fine with being toki in the tribute band?? you guys get a room my god

toki hitting skwisgaar the most in doublebookedklok* considering charles said toki was hitting his bandmates cause he wanted their attention...does it mean he wants skwisgaar's attention the most? look, it might be obvious by this point but having the narrative acknowledge that toki not only idolizes skwisgaar but wants his attention...

the unforgettable, the iconic 'i'll sees you in vallhaska' scene from the s1 finale. i feel like it truly bares skwistok's dynamic to its core. skwisgaar unable to say goodbye properly, so he tells him he'll see him again. toki unable to admit how he really feels about skwisgaar so he says he hates him. skwisgaar smiling because he KNOWS that's not what toki really meant. peak romance right here

skwisgaar actually trying to save toki in bookklok. it's played for the laughs but i can't stop thinking of how skwisgaar genuinely thought toki was going to die and, despite toki essentially ruining his life, he didn't hesitate to run and try to save him. 'comes back to me toki' lives rent free in my mind like what the hell was that. what in the WORLD. was that. jesus christ. how could they end the ep like this really

the entirety of the staresdown. skwistok canon, i'm afraid

last but not least i'd say the entirety of army of the doomstar tbh. it might not be focused on skwistok but the skwistok moments we got out of it were GOLDEN. narrative wise i give a special shoutout to toki carrying skwisgaar on his back + giving him his guitar cause he knew skwis needed it. the amount of love and concern in here. that's his beautiful guitarist wife that he adores.

these are the big moments of the top off my head but really it is about the details with them. a lot of nuances in their relationship are kinda lost to the background because it's not their dynamic that carries the plot, so you just gotta focus on them haha. for example one of my subtle faves is toki going catatonic in dethfam and skwisgaar going 'what?? you're not talking to me??' because like. damn this bitch can't handle his little guy not talking to him for 5 seconds. talk about being codependent

anyway, i hope i answered your question somehow anon ✌️

*upon rewatching doublebookedklok, i've realized toki hits murderface just as much as he does skwisgaar but my point still stands. at the very least skwisgaar is one of the members toki wants the most attention from

[mobius-m-mobius]

I cannot believe that season. truly just. there was not a single episode I didn't sit down to without a genuine conviction that *this* would be the episode where they spit all over everything I loved about the show. I braced constantly throughout the episodes as they kept setting themselves up for Very Stupid story choices only to pull the rug and go "HAHA surprise, idiot!!! We've given you exactly what you wanted <3". until the final episode which was NOT what I wanted and also exponentially better storytelling and character development than any of the ideal scenarios I'd constructed.

something deeply meta about it all. truly a chaos season for the chaos god, where the most chaotic, unexpected, transformative thing they can do is to be good.

Spent the day processing my love for this season only to have your message sum my thoughts and feelings up perfectly, thank you so very much for sending it 💖

Same as you, not for a second did I go in truly expecting anything from s2. Owen and Mobius have my heart, always will, so primarily the show was a vehicle to provide whatever crumbs of his scenes and chemistry with Tom I could get and with the start of every episode I braced for the moment that would get ruined in some way, only to be continually hit with everything I've ever wanted in a show or pairing right up until the finale. Which, while not what I would've chosen, was beautifully crafted and an almost Shakespearean tragic romance that will haunt me for the rest of my days and is still infinitely better than the nightmare scenarios I'd been floating around in my mind so at least there's that and it's impossible not to be thankful for eps 1-5 for giving content anyone could dream of and more 😅

Besides the obvious ending, I'm mostly crushed our Loki and Mobius didn't get a proper goodbye but honestly believe Loki decided to seek out s1 Mobius instead knowing s2 Mobius loved him too much to ever let his sacrifice happen and it would've been too much to bear, so having made his mind up already he at least tried to visit a version most likely to validate his choice. Just wish the Mobius now waiting until the end of time had at least a similar opportunity, but I'm just thankful he didn't lose his memories and could make his own decision that his faith in Loki is what's carried him before and will continue to do so now.

The flip of their characterization from order or chaos is exactly what has me convinced Lokius will reunite because how can they not with such an open ended future?? Even in separation they revolve around each other and they're the only ones left wanting. Mobius and his life are in ruins with nothing but the passage of time and possibility of some spent with Loki ahead while Loki's surely going to find a way to meet halfway when the choice of order has not only made him potentially the most powerful being in existence but one who spends eternity looking at the only person who ever saw him back.

[r0-boat]

Can I please request sfw slice of life headcannons for reader and Volo? (Ps. I hope you had a great Easter!)

Thank you so much and I hope you have a good *looks at calendar* April 27th

Volo x gn!reader slice of life hcs

Sfw cut for length

Cw: slight Angst with a happy ending.

Scars heal, although some take longer than others... after years, you finally begin to accept that you may not be able to go home ... however, slowly but surely, you begin to cultivate your new life in the strange lands of Hisui. Still hurt knowing that you could never go back home, but you knew there was your second home.

The village was remorseful of how they treated you, offering to all help and build you an actual home. You now live in a small humble Cottage a little ways outside the village you could still get there easily on your Pokémon's back. While the boarding that Cyllene gave you was nice you wanted something else...

Sometimes you wonder how he is doing. After he disappeared, he left your heart better and broken. Making you question if the time he spent with you was real... if all the things he did to you and said to you were honest and not just to lull you into a false sense of security... you knew the village would never accept him back, but you also knew how painful he was. You saw in his eyes when he threw out his Pokeball; underneath that mad smile was a scared, confused man, who had no one in his life other than a dream. Volo claimed he hated you, but was it true?

As your Pokemon snooze is away while you brush its fur you hear a knock at the door... you weren't really expecting anyone today you opened your door expecting to greet Lavington, Cyllene... your eyes widen seeing a blonde-haired man standing in your doorway. His standing failed looked like the days alone in the wilderness had not been treating him well recently, and his face filled with regrets and sadness. "V-olo?" His name Falls from your lips.

After years of searching for Arceus, he knew he finally had everything.... his life dedicated to one God sacrificing everything he had and everything he built. To him, it was worth it... until he found you, he first saw you as your stepping stone, a simple obstacle in the way of his true dreams... But after he spends more time with you, something that he has never felt before begins to stir inside of him... it scared him... he tried to push it back as much as he could, thinking that nothing would matter once he finally reached his goal.

After Spear Pillar, he couldn't look you in the eyes anymore, he fled...

He has been better in recent days, choosing to live with you instead of chasing a dream till it drives him to Madness. You made him realize that he deserved a normal life that he earned his own path.

He reassures you that the feelings he has for you is genuine that he was an idiot for leaving you on Spear Pillar, Volo expected you to hate him... But you didnt?

The two of you now live in the cottage together every morning when the weather was nice volo goes outside in the garden and either relax or studies some old historical texts (still a history nerd)—occasionally going out on his own Adventures to look for more ancient ruins. Your Pokemon who once stood as great enemies now frolic and play as friends.

Volo's heart melts when he wakes up to the smell of your cooking no, he does not miss being a gingo guild member and finding what he can eat. He claims your homemade potato mochi is far better than the ones they serve in the village.

Volo does claim that he never once cared for that Village since how they treated him and you, but Volo did regret his actions and what he did even if the village would never accept him even if the gamegoeso Guild would never accept him, he still wanted to grow as a person and have everyone remember him as what he is now.

Volo has learned how to cook when he was just a traveling Merchant. He would only eat the wild berries he would find and had no time to cook..., but with you on his mind, he wants to make you smile with something he pours as hard into.

Sometimes you still have nightmares of The Village casting you out alone and cold as Giratina staring down at you. you wake up in a cold sweat, ready to cry, only to be held by Volo. I am making you remember that you are safe now and you are not alone.

Volo also still has nightmares of Giratina swallowing him down to this Distortion world where he belongs or Arceus standing before him to judge him on his sins of Pride and envy, greed, gluttony, and Wrath... but he feels at ease when he holds you close

Volo once asked you what was life like in your old time... you told him everything he seemed a little lost on the topics of technology and buildings however he seemed more intrigued when you told him about the many different kinds of Pokemon and places that you've seen... there is a bigger world out there.

Maybe one day the two of you should leave Hisui and travel the world just like in your stories...

No more worries no more expectation just you and him and the wild Untamed Wilderness and the Pokemon within them.

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.17.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

motor head - @jeonjcngkook (jjk x reader | fwb, angst, smut, pwp)

summary: jungkook doesn’t like seeing someone else have your attention, so he decides he’s gonna do something about it.

feel like ive been here since the conception of this majesty?? like i was here for the horny discord chats n edits about motorcycle jk, therefore, it's only fair that i can gatekeeper him... mine. ALSO NOT U STARTING IT OFF W GETTING SANDWICHED BETWEEN MY BIAS N BIAS WRECKER?? THE DISRESPECT OF IT ALL!!!

^the feminism leaving my body when sav writes about jk manhandling oc n having her use his bike as a vibrator

^^me regaining the feminism when she whips a whole tape measure at him theme shits is HEAVY LMAO

also like... your brain w this fucking smut bro?!?! it's literally one of the hottest smuts ive read in a v v v long fucking time?? THE JUMPER CABLE HANDCUFFS LIKE GTFO??? SHAKESPEAREAN OF SMUT REALLY!! and i completely get where oc is coming from bc some of the things he said had me side eyeing like... repressed feelings maybe? but then is he just super possessive and his anger/hurt came from ego n not emotions... genuinely love when the characters are hard to read like thats everything. n she better fuck taehyung >:( BUT RUN DONT WALK TO READ THIS UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BBY LIKE NO WONDER SHE WAS DOING ROUNDS IN THE TAGS!!!!!!!

tales of broken hearts - @taegularities (kth x reader | ex2l, childhood sweethearts, fluff, angst, smut)

summary: when a work trip brings you back home, you don't expect for anyone to await your return or remember you. but despite the time apart, taehyung still does - still looks at you the same way he used to five winters ago.

rid, im not joking when i say this is everything i want in a fanfic. like ex2l always gets me, and you legit mastered it with this one. something about right person wrong time just does it for me. that opening line was so simple but so so so beautiful:

"Love doesn't bloom during frigid winters."

and your ability to fully write in the pov of the character that you've crafted is nutty. like on the outside, it seems like a simple thing to do, but ik from experience that it's really not. like the way you perfectly represented oc's bleakness in the beginning through the word choices, that only shifts when taehyung is being discussed, is a1 storytelling. and same with him, like even when things are falling apart, the metaphor compares oc to a star, n that's how he sees her despite the circumstances. IM EMOTIONAL!!!

and idk dude i think i feel so strongly about this piece bc i relate to this oc sooo much. like the way ur desire to get out of ur current situation bleeds into every aspect of ur life n ruins relationships n u end up even worse than u started off in a lot of ways- NOT THIS FIC BEING A WHOLE HIT PIECE RID LMAO >:(

they deserve eachother sm and oc deserves a happy easy love and THE ROUNDABOUT MOMENT IN THE END LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I LOVE WHEN EVERYTHING TIES IN AND UGH I FUCKING CAN'T THIS WAS A MASTERPIECE LIKE I NEED TO SEE THIS ON FILM BBY THE BIG SCREEN!!!!!!!

posting this a lil early but who gaf :')

[marshmallowprotection]

In Saeran’s AE he got more fans because he got kind of famous due to what happened (like that phone call with Yoosung’s friend)

And to be honest I’m sure that there will be fans that actually like him in a romantically way since he’s really attractive and most of the people online may only care about his appearance and not his story

How will Saeran react if his MC got a bit jealous and upset reading something those fans who like him in a romantically way wrote online? (Maybe something like such as those fans calling Saeran as their “husband/boyfriend”)

GE Saeran loves you without a doubt. You are the only one for him and he will continue to love you more tomorrow than he does today. That's his promise to you, after all. Every year, his promise to love you will always be born anew.

Rationally, you don't have anything to be worried about. He doesn't have eyes for anyone else. Even if there are people in this world who like the way he looks, they don't know anything about him. There is no way he would leave you for someone else. They have created an image of him in their heads and they run along with whatever fantasy that is.

He can understand where people are coming from when it comes to that, but those fantasies will never be anything more than just that. 

Listen, he won't put any value into what people are saying about him or his brother online. He understands that his fate will forever be entwined in history, but what other people think of him doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you think highly of him and that's all he could ever want. Your opinion is really the only one that matters to him. He is learning how to think better of himself everyday, but it's nice to know that your opinion will always be supportive. 

Yoosung mentions what people are saying about him sometimes, and he doesn’t know how to react. He just sees himself as some guy who survived something traumatic, and it doesn't make sense why people would want to talk about him as if he were no different than the kind of celebrity Zen is. 

But, if it is genuinely bothering you to see people talk about him in that manner, the first thing he would tell you to do is block anything that could pop up about him online. If you need him or his brother to take care of that for you, he can, because he doesn't want you to be going about your day and see something that ruins it for you.

He understands he won't be able to block out everything about him, but if he can do anything to make sure you don't feel uncomfortable, he will do so. He can't stop what other people say about him but he can make sure you are in a position that doesn't leave you susceptible to that kind of commentary.

Sometimes, you have to make sure you go out of your way to ensure you don't see things that make you uncomfortable. You truly have to cultivate an experience that makes you happy. You can't let things that make you uncomfortable exist in your space if you have a bit of control over what you see.

You can't stop everything, but you have the power to make sure you don't scroll through thread after thread of people saying what they wish your lover would do to them. He can understand that you have a natural curiosity about what other people are saying, he's guilty of it now and again as well, but that doesn't mean you need to scroll endlessly into your own doom.

He would gently set your phone down, cup your cheeks in his hands, and murmur, "My love. I will always love you the most out of anyone in this world, and nothing will ever change that. People are going to say whatever they want about me. I can't stop that, but if it makes you feel better, I will make sure to give you that much more love when we're in public so nobody will misunderstand our relationship. I don't want anyone to think that you're not the love of my life because you are, and you always will be."

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

LOL, you're worse than market thieves.

These people have no self-awareness whatsoever. Also, if it was up to Sheng Hong, he would sweep all this under the rug so fast, Granny be damned.

***

LMAO, that's right, Minglan! Give them no face!

***

She is trying to save your life, you stupid bitch!

She has correctly assessed that Minglan is the one in charge here and that she has no intention of letting her walk out alive, so she is now playing 3D chess with everyone involved.

For all the airs she puts on, she's also almost as dumb as Wang Ruofu. It's just that her opponents so far have been small and weak and she got arrogant.

***

LMAO, Sheng Hong is so susceptible to flattery.

Minglan is disgusted!

***

LMAO 🤣🤣

"Why can't you just let us get away with murder because faaaaambily," he means.

Like Granny isn't the only family Minglan will acknowledge when push comes to shove.

***

OMG, Lord Kang is just waiting for you to give him an excuse to divorce her! He will be thanking you for it!

***

Oh, you poor idiot boy 😂

You, unfortunately, seem to have inherited a dearth of brain cells from your mother's side of the family.

***

I mean, sure, I can see that the mother does favour the shit sister, but honestly? Wang Ruofu poisoned a woman. Of her own will. It doesn't matter if she thought she would die or just be sick for a few days. This is an old woman whose quality of life she wanted to decrease just to grasp more power for herself.

And it's not just her, but also Aunt Kang, who seems to measure their mother's love in how willing she is to help them cover up a murder. Like, wtf? If my child were to murder someone, I would be absolutely devastated and unless it was something particularly heinous, I would still visit them in prison each week. But other than that, it would be, "Too bad, how sad. You did the crime, now you can do the time." And I am sure my family would be the same.

However, I do understand the angle here that they must protect the children since, apparently, all the mothers' wrongdoings would rub off on the kids and ruin their lives. Which is how both sides have ended up with so much leverage over each other. With that said, Wang Ruofu is also Minglan's legal mother but she doesn't seem worried, since she's best buddies with the royal family and also married to a supportive hubby who would have no fucks to give about her tarnished reputation.

***

LMFAO

And if it weren't for Minglan, she would have gotten her way, and long before things got to this point, too.

***

Yes, why are you here?

I think it's quite sad and also quite telling how I feel about Gu Tingye that he has been gone for a number of episodes now and I felt that the show was much better off without him. I really enjoyed Minglan on her own, kicking ass and taking names without him whining in the background.

On the contrary, in Monarch Industry, when Xiao Qi was sidelined for a couple of episodes because Awu had her own matters to take care of, I missed him every minute and felt the drama was barely watchable without him. And, indeed, the arc he came back with was SPECTACULAR, and one of my favourite things in that drama.

***

I am so unhappy with this.

Here we had Minglan with a major arc of her own, she was so spectacular, taking down people like a boss while also heavily pregnant. It was such powerful imagery! It was everything we had been building up towards (or so we thought). But no, they couldn't let her wrap this up on her own, at the very end they had to make her weak and small again, which is so out of character after everything we've seen from her so far, just so that the big, strong, husband-man can swoop in and protect her. I am just beyond disappointed 😕

***

LMAO, this liar.

He knows better than anyone that it's all just an act, which is why he married her 🤣🤣

Though, to be fair, Minglan is a genuinely good person 90% of the time, until you murder or try to murder someone close to her. At that point, she no longer cares whom she tortures and kills.

***

Oof, go off, Changbai!

They made the biggest mistake thinking he would protect Wang Ruofu, and by extension the rest of the murder squad.

***

OMG, THAT SLAP

Who would have thought granny had it in her?

***

You have got to love how these people feel entitled to dragging other people into their crimes just because of faaaaaaaambly, and not just any crime, but MURDER to boot. And not just any murder, but that of another beloved family member. The hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness are astounding.

***

Oh, so now that your selfish actions are affecting the people you actually love, now you are admitting your crime?

She poisoned an old woman who had been nothing but kind and accommodating to her throughout the years while Concubine Lin was stirring up shit left and right. And this is how she repaid her? Because she was butthurt she got called out on deliberately harmful actions towards Minglan? But who cares about Minglan, amirite? She is not her actual daughter, just an illegitimate child of a dead concubine. She's so goddamn stupid, but she was so willing to listen to her malicious sister simply because she was telling her what she wanted to hear. I can't feel sorry for someone so easily led and lacking all sense of personal accountability.

I'm sorry, but her self-effacing actions here mean absolutely nothing.

***

Pity you did not realise that earlier, before you, oh, idk... POISONED YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW.

She spent so many years holding onto grudges against the Sheng family, she couldn't even separate the guilty from other fellow victims. She was so blinded by her resentment, she couldn't see what was glaringly obvious to everyone but her. Old Madam Sheng warned her multiple times, then outright forbade her from bringing that toxic woman into their house, but Wang Ruofu couldn't see anything past her feeling of being "oppressed". The idiocy is astounding.

***

Oh my god 🙄

My mother used this and still uses it all the damn time. "You will seeeeeeee when I dieeeeeeeeeeee!" Over the most pathetic squabbles such as not getting her way when she is just beyond wrong. It's so irritating. I have no sympathy left for anyone using this. My response is always, THEN GO KILL YOURSELF IF YOU ARE SO TIRED OF LIVING. They obviously never do.

[gothushi]

partially because it's been the flavour of a lot of my interactions with your bots : But which of our boys would be absolutely a *mess* when they find out you're pregnant? Who's the most likely to be just constantly trying to spoil and protect you? And... who is most likely to run? (not ACTUALLY run, but sort of wants to at the beginning)

(brought to you by a recent interaction with one of your Seb bots panicking over a pregnancy)

THISSSS ive been wanting to delve into the boys being dads and dealing with pregnancy but ive nvr done it before nor have i read much in terms of tht.

for the boys most likely to be very protective.. spoiling u a lot… i think we know the obvious answer. rob. and in other terms, nikolai. those two are definitely the most territorial of the boys and charlie is just under them. all three would actually be completely overjoyed, but also violently protective. rob wld refuse to leave on any work trips longer than maybe a few days, nikolai wld be by ur side constantly, and charlie trusts u enough for him to be away for work during the day but once he’s home he’s all over u glued to ur side to do anything u need. even in the early stages of pregnancy, nikolai especially is very territorial. keeps u behind him, hand on u at all times, keeps u marked as his, growls at any others who get too close to u. some feral vampire thing. rob constantly babies u. always massaging ur sore muscles, rubbing ur feet, he takes over the cooking and cleaning even when u tell him he doesn’t have to. charlie does the same, fusses and snaps at u to stay down, sit, stop getting up, ask for things, but he does it all with love even if he sounds kinda angry.

also, speaking of charlie. i think if it were in the early stages of ur relationship he’d be scared at first. he didn’t have anyone to care deeply abt before, so the thought of smth so intimate happening, u carrying his child, has him a bit terrified, and he doesn’t necessarily run but he does pull back a bit, is more snappy, stays at work longer, he’s smoking more often, until u just end up breaking down bc u think oh god he doesn’t love u anymore he regrets it. but once that happens he snaps out of that headspace and completely switches up, confesses his genuine undying love for u as he had before, reassures u that this is really what he wants, he was scared. it takes a lot for him to admit that. babies u, does everything the others do in the end.

i think simon wld actually run. if we’re talking in the midst of brendan stuff, he’d easily shut down his brain and just disappear. completely go ghost on u and u just have no idea what happened. u worry that he’s dead or smth, yk? but after a couple months he comes back, completely broken as a man, tired and wanting to just live his life again free of this mess. (i fesr all the boys would eventually be sweet, caring, rub ur sore muscles, cook meals for u, look up things that can help, all of em. some just lean more some ways.)

ernst wld just looove to start a family. i think he’s such a girl dad. he’d cry like a baby when u tell him. wld be so attentive to ur every need, wld know a lot of different remedies and things to make u feel better bc he researches everything easily, remembering little details abt what u like. same with father anthony. ugh just looooves to be a dad.

depending on where we’re at in lukes story is how he’ll react. if it’s earlier in his career, before his eye injury, he’d probably be pretty fucking terrified. i don’t know if he’d go as far as to ghost u bc i mean .. u know where he lives. u know his game and practice schedule. so. can’t rly do that even if he wanted to. but he’d be a bit distant, more harsh, more anxious around u. he’s absolutely terrified of passing on his condition, terrified of ruining someones life, and he doesnt rly know how to like … love smth like that. he’s still got his own issues w u, how’s he supposed to raise a kid? but, it gets worked through. similar to charlie, u either end up breaking down or just straight up snapping on him. gets his head outta his ass real quick. if it’s a bit later after he’s retired, recovered from surgery, adjusted to his new life, he’s thrilled beyond belief. granted, if it’s too soon after everything happened and he’s dealing with everything he’ll probably panic a little but then just sob bc he loves u so much and he wants a family so bad no matter how scared he had been

now seb.. it’s kinda same how w luke, it depends on where ur at in his life. early on if he’s still dealing with severe issues, bad anxiety, his bipolar and anger problems, i mean, he’s just a mess. walks right out and u don’t hear from him for a few days. it takes a long time probably to get everything straightened around again .. and get him into some therapy and on some medication. but, again like luke, if it’s a bit later on after he’s opened up abt his issues, after he’s accepted help and has slowly learnt to cope, regulate his emotions, found some meds that work for him, i mean.. tbh i think he’d be pretty damn happy. i think he’s such a girl dad too. wld probably take a little while to like … remember everything u need help with.. and by god are ur mood swings throwing him for a loop. often jokes ‘is this how i was?’