#i know about the korean art book but that’s not really accessible to me
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jacquesthepigeon · 7 months ago
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I'll give this show credit in one particular place: the merchandise. It seems like one of the few kids shows from the past couple of years that actually has products attached to it. Candy, cereal, ice cream, episode novelizations, toys, a couple of sewing machines. They've even had a collab with a tea shop this year.
For as many great shows have come and gone (like Owl House, The Ghost and Molly McGee or Moon Girl), some don't get much more than a selection of officially licensed t shirts, if anything at all these days. It feels kinda weird to see ML getting so many things that I just stumble upon something every few months when getting groceries.
Ur right about that, they are everpresent in children’s sections at stores
I do, however, resent their official merch store for being full of bougie designer products no one in their right minds would pay full price for
Plus, aside from the LB nendoroid I already have, the only things I’d be interested in buying ML-wise would be an art book and soundtrack but alas neither is available
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katzenklavierr · 2 years ago
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Wish more people would understand that image description is a skill and not everyone is going to be good at it.
Like when I try to do it, it ends up vague at best and confusing at worst, because I don't know what to focus on or what level of detail is appropriate, so I end up severely overthinking it, getting really overwhelmed, and then just giving up entirely.
I'm primarily a visual artist, and while I'm technically visually impaired myself it's not beyond lens correction; I make visual art precisely to convey things that my words fail to. Feelings and ideas that I don't think I could capture with structured language. I have no idea how to translate that.
The whole purpose of the ID, like any kind of translation, is to invite a broader audience to experience your work that might not otherwise be able to, right? I think that's an overall good thing, but I also think its a bit like asking an author to translate their book into another language. Sometimes they speak it, and the translation turns out as faithful to their ideas as they can manage, other times they can work directly with someone who does speak it, and other times someone will translate it out of enjoyment for what it is.
(Of course, this analogy also requires the understanding that translation itself is a skill and an art and inherently requires some amount of interpretation on the part of the translator.)
I'm not asking for advice on how to be better at it; I know, in theory, what makes a good image ID, just like I, in theory, understand the grammar structures of Korean or German despite not speaking either of them. It's just not something I'm good at applying, especially to my own work because of my emotional investment.
Conversely, I AM good at audio transcription, so I'm able to caption all of my videos no problem. I even know how to do several different kinds of audio transcription, which is certainly not something everyone can do or can do well, as I see many of my peers struggle with it. And even then, I sometimes find myself deliberating on the details of how to best capture what's being said in the most faithful way for the given purpose. It's an act of translation from one medium (sound) to another (text).
I think image IDs and closed captions are great and an overall net positive, but I also think it's impractical to expect that they're something everyone is capable of doing. Like beyond just the fact that a lot of the people having pressure put on them for not being "accessible enough" are also disabled, it's bizarre to me to act like people who just aren't good at something that, while helpful, inherently requires a certain skillset don't care about other people.
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wifeofbughuul · 2 years ago
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I posted 1,058 times in 2022
That's 767 more posts than 2021!
8 posts created (1%)
1,050 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@stormwaterwitch
@heatherwitch
@the-darkest-of-lights
@elytrians
@themrsalbertwesker
I tagged 30 of my posts in 2022
#personal - 5 posts
#long post - 4 posts
#asnawi mangkualam - 3 posts
#filipino witchcraft - 3 posts
#mangkukulam - 3 posts
#babaylan - 2 posts
#beltane is may 1st - 2 posts
#selfie from main page - 1 post
#a.k. macdonald - 1 post
#art: people - 1 post
Longest Tag: 91 characters
#this is the issue i’ve been having trying to find anything magic related to the philippines
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Something about white people writing about voodoo magic that rubs me the wrong way.
0 notes - Posted May 26, 2022
#4
Hey all, I need people who practice magic that is not Euro-centric. I have enough of it on my dash (and they're all lovely people!!), but I need people who practice indigenous magic and have experience similar to mine.
Please like or reblog (You will get a follow back from my main blog @themrsalbertwesker ) if you post:
Philippines magic-centric prior to Spanish colonization (shamanism and indigenous practices
Other indigenous practices (I understand that most are close, but I feel better seeing if it makes sense?)
Chinese, Japanese, Korean
All of the Southern Asian countries (Indian, Taiwanese, and so on)
1 note - Posted August 20, 2022
#3
Fucking hell, my order of Cebuano sorcery: malign magic in the Philippines got cancelled. Why have it up there if you didn’t have it in stock? It said there is one and I got it when it said it was in stock!!! Does anyone know if there are scans of it?
1 note - Posted March 2, 2022
#2
I’m rejecting the term witch (or moving on) m and adopting Babaylan and mangkukulam. ✌🏼.
5 notes - Posted August 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I *FINALLY* got my copy of Cebuano Sorcery!! I’ll post a picture of the cover when I get home but it’s safely with me 🥹. Do you know how HARD it was for me to get a copy of this book?
‪It was either pay anywhere between $ 150 - $ 1500 dollars. YES! You read that right **$ 1500** !! I happened to be lucky as hell to get the paperback that was 39 dollars. And I want to blame colonization but really it’s such a taboo to talk about in the Philippines.‬
Shamanism is much more accessible and accepted in the Philippines and respect to the author who actually at least wrote about Filipino witchcraft. Anyways, I fucking lucked out and I’m so happy to get it. There aren’t many prints out of this book.
And again, there are VERY little written resources on Filipino witchcraft 😪. I had to make due with what I could find.
10 notes - Posted April 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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jariten · 2 years ago
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September + October 2022 roundup!!
There just wasn’t that much happening each of these months, at least that I personally found super noteworthy, so why not splice them together!
First off: I got my first order from Glacier Bay Books! Very happy with what I got (Saving Glaeolia 3 for a slow month). Def one I’d recommend is Dream Another Dream by Shinnosuke Saika. This compiles 3 stories centred around loss and loneliness all from their Sleepy Child series, not included is the story Tonio that you can get separately. Will definitely be coming back for more! Drawn & Quarterly also released another manhwa! Yeong-Shin Ma’s Artist. Moms is already a graphic novel I think everyone should read so I was nervous about how Artist would live up to it and it didn’t disappoint. Once again we’re giving a compelling story of friendship turned rivalries, the weight of living under capitalism, and unbearable jealousy. But unlike Moms and its sympathetic main cast, Artist gives us the worst people you know serving great human drama. You can get the all-in-one english edition from Drawn & Quarterly or read it in korean on Kakao
2022 has finally made me a believer in Yuri manga, I’ve been harsh in the past anymore but that’s not me anymore I finally #respect yuri and lesbian manga bc finally the adult romances in the english market is starting to match the high school ones. She Loves To Cook and She Loves To Eat by Sakaomi Yuzaki is a slow blossoming romance between two women and their love of food with all the excitement of making friends and having a crush as an adult. A live action drama based on the series is also premiering on Nov 29th on NHK!  After a 3 year wait... it finally appeared... the second and final (for now) volume of The Poe Clan by Moto Hagio is finally out and this milestone work in manga history is finally 100% accessible in english. After reading Volume 1 and A Drunken Dream (both of which got reprinted this year!) back to back in 2019 I became a true Hagio believer. I think I’ve read the series twice over now and I’m just always amazed by how thanks to the historical setting it feels so timeless to me. Its her most popular and accessible work for a reason. Since the fantagraphics edition compile the stories in the order they were serialized volume 2 contains the latter part of the serialization where the art was a bit more consistent across chapters and there’s a few more recurring characters. I was going to list my favorite chapters but looking at them again... I can’t really pick. Just know that you’re in for a treat. 
Gradually making progress on the scanning but there’s still a lot to catch up on so unfortunately the return of the queue is not happening anytime soon. Once again thank you for your patience and see you soon!
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yourlocalsewerdragon · 3 years ago
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this is still the anon whose mom is reading.. bts fanfiction yeah also sorry to hear what happened to your country so I hope this ask can.. brighten your day?
why bts you ask? backstory on how my mom got into bts. It's all because my brother who is quite young we have a hugee age gap you see, the song keeps playing on the radio and my brother has to begin to like the song so of course from radio to youtube. My mom and my brother watched the music video and he kept pestering question to my mother who is this people?? and once he knew their each name he asks which one is which.
My mom in her early 40s has absolutely no idea. And thus she began to research this Korean boys that resulted her falling in love with this boyband and let me tell you after about a month of her being a fans of bts she bought a light stick and hung a photo of them while my father and I judging-ly watch in the background as she chose to pick the boy band photos rather that our photo to hang I mean there's still a few but mostly it's their posters really and now their photo cards are the ones that's on the fridge instead of her own children crappy art. She even made a scrap book well it's more of a poster.. scrap poster??? I would show you the thing but it's ridiculously tight secured where she kept it (so my brother dont have access to it). She even go to community event on our city, she made friends with them and invites them to our house well maybe because she's the oldest in that group while others haven't been married or employed even
so unto the fanfiction... thing. You may ask how in the world did you know that she's reading fanfiction of them? well sadly.. NOT ONLY SHE READ THEM IN THE LIVING ROOM SHE READ THEN ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE and as absurd as this sounds there's one time that I checked her phone but for different reason I saw her reading a 18+ bts fanfic now I am cursed with this knowledge, knowing that my mother has been reading this. Little did she know her own daughter has read wattpad in her early age (I was 10 when I somehow read a werewolf pisskink lemon* fanfic... and yes I have actually read that unfortunately) so now I have to bear to see my own mother reading fanfic of these boys WHILE WAITING FOR A MOVIE IN THE CINEMA WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE and mind you there is someone on a row above us
this is all true I cannot make this up even if I want to, me and my father now begrudgingly listen to the song permission to dance for the hundredth time. Well I think I answered all your question unless you have more feel free to ask some more while you respond to this and I'll delightfully answer them
*its what nsfw fics are used to be called in wattpad
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there this so much to unpack here
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olderthannetfic · 4 years ago
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It's really surprising that you're so well versed in older fandoms and yet participate in new popular ones (that cdrama, kpop) is this by design? Im in my twenties and my interest turnover is already way slower than it used to be
You know, that’s a really interesting question. I wouldn’t say it’s by design exactly in that I do tend to just follow what strikes my fancy, and I can’t force myself to want to write fic for just anything. (I find it easier to like reading fic without serious involuntary emotional investment, but writing takes more. Vidding I can do on command most of the time, but I don’t usually bother unless I have a lot of feels or I’m fulfilling someone’s prompt.)
However, me getting into BTS was 100% due to me wanting to understand BTS enough to explain to people who weren’t very interested but wanted to know what was going on in fandom lately. Under normal circumstances, I run the dance party at Escapade, the oldest extant slash con. We borrowed vividcon’s thing of playing fanvids on the wall--all of them set to dance music--as the soundtrack for the dance party. This means I’m creating a 3-hour mixtape of fannishness, which has amazing potential to make people feel in the know about Fandom Today... and equal potential to make them feel alienated if nothing they care about shows up. Only about 100-150 people attend the con, so it really is possible to make a playlist that feels inclusive yet informative--it just takes a huge amount of work.
Every year, I do a lot of research on which fandoms are getting big and look for vids from vidders people won’t have heard of, so there is an element of consciously trying to keep up with things. Generally, I only get into these fandoms myself if I had no idea what they were and then suddenly, oops, they’re my kryptonite, like the buddy cop android plot in Detroit: Become Human, which sucked me in hard for like 6 months on the basis of a vid.
(So if you’re into cross-fandom meta and associated stuff as one of your fannish interests, you tend to have broader knowledge of different fandoms, old and new, than if you’re just looking for the next place you’ll read fic. It’s also easier to love vids for unfamiliar things than fic.)
But though I was only looking for a basic primer on BTS, BTS has 7 members with multiple names and no clear juggernaut pairing, not to mention that AU that runs through the music videos and lots of other context to explain. The barrier to understanding WTF was going on at all was high enough that to know enough to explain, I had to be thoroughly exposed... And once I was over that hurdle, oops, I had a fandom.
--
In terms of old vs. new, here’s the thing: kpop fandoms in English and c-drama fandoms in English right now feel a lot like anime fandom in English did in the early 00s. I had a Buddy Cops of the 70s phase in the middle, but my current fannishness is actually a return to my older fannishness in many ways.
What do I mean about them being similar?
Yes, I know some wanker will show up to say I think China, Korea, and Japan are indistinguishable, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the way that I used to routinely meet Italian and French and German fans, Argentinian and Mexican, Malaysian and Indonesian and Filipino too. English-language fandom of SPN or MCU may have all those fans from all those countries, but it feels very American most of the time. English-language fandom of a non-English-language canon is more overtly about using English as a lingua franca.
It also tends to attract people who as a sideline to their fannishness are getting into language learning and translation, which are my other passion in life after fanworks fandom. (I speak only English and Spanish and a bit of Japanese, but I’ve studied German, French, Russian, Mandarin, Old English, and now Korean.)
Nerds arguing about methods of language learning and which textbooks are good and why is my jam. This is all over the place in English-language fandoms of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean media. Those fandoms also tend to be full of speakers coming from a Germanic or Romance languages background who face similar hurdles in learning these languages. (In other words, if you’re a native Japanese speaker trying to learn Korean, the parts that will be hard for you are different than if you’re an English speaker, but you’re also usually not doing fandom in English.)
There’s also an element of scarcity and difficulty of access and a communal attempt to construct a canon (in the other sense) of stuff from that country that pertains to one’s fannishness. So, for example, a primer explaining the genre of xianxia is highly relevant to being a n00b Untamed fan, but just any old thing about China is not. A c-drama adapted from a danmei webnovel is perhaps part of the new pantheon of Chinese shit we’re all getting into, but just any old drama from decades ago is probably not... unless it’s a genre precursor to something else we care about. Another aspect here is that while Stuff I Can Access As A N00b Who Doesn’t Speak The Language may be relatively scarce, there’s a vast, vast wealth of stuff that exists.
This is what it felt like to be an anime fan in the US in 2000. As translation got more commercial and more crappy series were licensed and dumped onto an already glutted market, the vibe changed. No longer were fans desperately trying to learn enough of the language to translate or spending their time cataloguing what existed or making fanworks about a show they stuck with for a bit: the overall community focus turned to an endless race of consumption to keep up with all of the latest releases. That’s a perfectly valid way of being fannish, but if I wanted that, I’d binge US television 24/7.
Anime fandom got bigger, but what I liked about anime fandom in English died, and I moved on. (Okay, I first moved on to Onmyouji, which is a live action Japanese thing, but still.)
Hardcore weeaboos and now fans of Chinese and Korean stuff don’t stop at language: people get excited about cooking, my other other great passion. Times a thousand if the canon is something like The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, which is full of loving shots of food preparation. People get excited about history! Mandarin and Japanese may share almost nothing in terms of grammar or phonology, but all of East Asia has influence from specific Chinese power centers historically, and there are commonalities to historical architecture and clothing that I love.
I fell out of love with the popular anime art styles as they changed, and I’m not that into animation in general these days. (I still own a shitton of manga in art styles I like, like Okano Reiko’s Onmyouji series.) I’ve become a filmmaker over the last decade, and I’m very excited about beautiful cinematography and editing. With one thing and another, I’m probably not going to get back into anime fandom, but it’s lovely to revisit the cultural aspects I enjoyed about it via live-action media.
BTS surprised me too, to be honest. I really dislike that early 90s R&B ballad style that infests idol music (not just Korean--believe me, I resisted many rounds of “But Johnny’s Entertainment though!” back in the day). While I like some of the dance pop, I just don’t care. But OH NO, BTS turn out to be massive conscious hip hop fanboys, and their music sounds different. I have some tl;dr about my reactions in the meta I wrote about one of my fanvids, which you can find on Dreamwidth here.
--
But back to your comment about turnover: I know fans from the 70s who’ve had one great fannish love and that’s it and more who were like that but eventually moved on to a second or third. They’re... really fannishly monogamous in a way I find hard to comprehend. It was the norm long ago, but even by the 90s when far more people were getting into fandom, it was seen as a little weird. By now, with exponentially more people in fandom, it’s almost unheard of. I think those fans still exist, even as new people joining, but we don’t notice them. They were always rare, but in the past, only people like that had the stamina to get over the barriers to entry and actually become the people who made zines or were willing to be visibly into fanfic in eras when that was seen as really weird. On top of that, there’s an element of me, us, judging the past by what’s left: only people with an intense and often single passion are visible because other people either drifted away or have seamlessly disappeared into some modern fandom. They don’t say they’re 80 or 60 or 40 instead of 20, so nobody knows.
In general, I’m a small fandoms and rare ships person. My brain will do its best to thwart me by liking whatever has no fic even in a big fic fandom... (Except BTS because there is literally fic for any combination of them, like even more than for the likes of MCU. Wow. Best fandom evar!) So I have an incentive to not get complacent and just stick with one fandom because I would very soon have no ability to be in fandom at all.
My appetite for Consuming All The Things has slowed way down, but it also goes in waves, and a lot of what I’m consuming is what I did back in 2000: journal articles and the limited range of English-language books on the history of m/m sex and romance in East Asia. It’s not so much that I have a million fandoms as that I’m watching a few shows as an expression of my interest in East Asian costume dramas and East Asian history generally.
I do like to sit with one thing and experience it deeply rather than moving on quickly, but the surface expression of this has changed depending on whether I’m more into writing fic or more into doing research or something else.
But yes, I do do a certain amount of trying to stay current, often as a part of research for fandom meta or to help other people know what’s going on. Having a sense of what’s big doesn’t automatically mean getting into all those things, but I think some fans who are older-in-fandom and/or older-in-years stop being open to even hearing what’s new. And if you’ve never heard of it, you’ll never know if you might have liked it.
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inkribbon796 · 3 years ago
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Alea Iacta Est Ch. 1: Blue Soul Bound
Summary: You can run from consequences, but you can’t hide from them.
A/N: For Dark’s birthday. Title means “the die is cast” in Latin.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3
The instant Dark’s visitors were gone, and everyone had settled down for bed, Dark got out of bed and headed into his office and began pouring over the various scrolls and books he’d collected over the years.
Eventually, through the deep, piercing pain, Dark found the scroll he needed and used it to be able to amplify his ability to search his own aura. It used to feel as vast as the ocean, but now he felt diminished. Dark could still afford to get into fights and open dozens of portals to deal with the heroes, but it would be years before he was at his old strength.
Dark sat in his chair and turned his soul and his mind inward. It was a cold winter forest and a single wood cabin in the woods. Snow occasionally drifted down in a light flurry. The light was on in the canon and the crest of the Doom family erected over the door.
The Entity walked up to the door and his red soul was the one who threw it open and glared at him, shotgun in hand
“No,�� she ordered firmly.
“If I couldn’t consume him after fifty years, I can’t do it now,” Dark reminded her with a light hiss in his voice.
It took her a while before she finally stepped aside and let Dark in, his blue soul was sitting by the fire, shivering under a blanket.
“What did you do?” His red soul demanded.
“I did nothing,” Dark defended himself heatedly. “It was the hunters and that infernal spell. I am trying to fix it.”
“You better,” she spat.
Dark scoffed angrily, before walking around to look his blue soul in the eyes, the weakened soul was not meeting him in the eyes.
“Hmmm,” his blue soul whimpered in pain.
“How bad is it?” Dark asked.
The soul didn’t answer.
“Are you trying to split off?” Dark demanded.
“Where would I go?” His blue soul asked morosely.
“I don’t want to hurt you if I don’t have to,” Dark told his blue soul. “But you tend to make things difficult.”
“Is Wil happy?” The soul asked. “Is Illy happy?”
Dark wasn’t 100% sure but he replied, “Yes. How aware are you of what they’re doing?”
The soul shrugged.
“Illinois is getting married in September, I’ll try and make sure you can see it,” Dark promised him.
“My baby,” the blue soul thought out loud, looking at the fire.
Looking back at his red soul, Dark saw the worry on her face.
“Damien, I think you need to go to sleep,” Dark’s red soul told him.
Dark and his red soul got the blue soul to go to sleep and Dark began drawing spells on the walls with magic, making sure that as much of his souls stayed intact. Then he emerged from his own magic and decided he was tired and went back up to his bed. Wil was still snoring in his sleep and seemed none the wiser of Dark’s absence.
Unlike most times, Dark didn’t have trouble forcing himself to sleep. He hadn’t even been planning on really sleeping, as a fully matured demon he could choose whether he was going to actually sleep or not. It required a body — which Dark had — but Dark could either go the rest of his existence without sleeping, or give the body he was in an actual rest.
He meant to rest with his eyes open, to make sure his souls were actually healing. But when his head hit the pillow, he blinked and was suddenly asleep in peaceful silence for a few hours.
Then he started dreaming.
The Entity rarely had dreams but tonight he was walking through the halls of the Manor, children’s laughter coming from somewhere.
Directly in front of him was an old grandfather clock. It wasn’t ticking and the hands on the face of the clock weren’t moving.
He was about to get up and move, but then a thick grey fog rolled in around him and he felt three sets of small hands grab onto him.
And pain sliced through him, Dark awakened in an instant and in such absolute pain that it paralyzed him. His souls were screaming and the Entity felt absolute panic as he tried to hold onto his red and blue souls.
Then Dark felt something in his souls give and he screamed as part of his aura shot off of him, turning from a deep black-purple to three swirls of black and white that fell towards the end of the bed.
Dark stayed in paralyzing pain for a couple more seconds as he frantically checked on his twin souls. They were none the worse for wear, Dark’s aura shielding them from most of the damage. So he wasn’t in as bad of shape as he feared. After a couple steadying breaths, Dark shoved himself up with his aura.
He knew what they were without even checking. They were spawnlings, but Dark already had too many to manage. He was already trying to recover from the attack from the hunters. These were three newborn spawnlings that would be ravenous, and Dark and King were already working to get Lunky to feed less.
They weren’t even sentient yet, all he had to do was make it—
“Darkling?” Wil sat up and Dark’s aura froze, halfway across the bed to the three spawnlings. “Are you okay? I heard a scream?”
The little spirals spun out into clouds of aura. One was mostly dark with specks of swirling white, another a perfect mix of black and white, and the one still the closest to Dark was white with flecks of black.
“Hello,” Wil greeted, his aura naturally diffusing in the room and to Dark it was like a calming balm for his wounded aura. “When did you three get here?”
Wilford pulled the little clouds, each of them currently half the size of Wil’s forearm. They sat in his lap and Dark hesitated in taking them from Wil. His blue soul had been roused from his slumber from the pain and the sight of spawnlings in Wil’s arms.
That, and just being in Wil’s aura was already making them swell in size. They were only an inch bigger but they were almost to a point where Dark would have to kill them to reabsorb them.
So he had a choice . . .
Fuck! Dark mentally cursed as Wil chuckled.
“Aren’t they delightful?” Wil smiled at Dark.
“아빠![1] Wil!” A knock came at the door and Dark snapped his fingers and made sure Wil was fully dressed.
“What’s wrong, Illinois?” Dark called out.
The door opened hesitantly and Illinois walked in. “You tell me, I heard a—”
Illinois froze at the sight of the swirling aura in Wil’s arms. “—a . . . a scream.”
“Come meet your new siblings, Illy,” Wil smiled.
Illinois froze and suddenly every part of Dark’s being was on edge. Illinois closed his eyes and let out a frustrated breath before walking over. “That explains the scream, everyone okay?”
“I’ll heal,” Dark dismissed. “It does explain why my aura has been out of sorts.
Illinois spent a second or two looking at the new spawnlings before walking around the bed to where Dark was still sitting, Illinois’s aura unfurled out towards Dark and the Entity hesitated.
“I,” Dark fought not to reach out to the offering. “I’m fine.”
Illinois knelt down and looked Dark in the eyes, “You and I both know that’s not true. You’ve been hiding your aura from us and you almost died. You need it.”
Dark flinched, another denial caught in his throat, frozen by the look in Illinois’s eyes. His blue soul was churning with conflicting emotions: the urge to still try and look invincible, despite wanting to give Illinois what he was asking for.
“By Joe, my dear, if you weren’t feeling well, you only had to say so,” Wil leaned in and his aura tangled with Dark which sent a shiver down Dark’s spine at the sudden rush.
He felt lightheaded and suddenly he was on his back and Illinois was pulling out amulets filled with aura.
“Dad?” Illinois asked in concern.
Dark’s vision was spinning and all he could see was Illinois. Wil leaning over soon after.
“I’ll get him some tea,” Wil decided.
“Get him something not warm, it’s a thousand degrees right now,” Illinois ordered.
“Right, right,” Wil agreed, and suddenly he was gone.
“I can get up,” Dark promised despite the vertigo.
Illinois placed a hand on the center of his chest to keep him pinned down, “No, you shouldn’t, stay down. You look like you’re going to vomit.”
“I’ll be fine, I just need to get back on my feet,” Dark told him, internally he was screaming. Dark couldn’t afford to be seen like this, not so soon after being knocked out like he had been by the hunters.
“Dammit, Dad, stay down, let us take care of you for once,” Illinois grumbled. “I know for a fact that after demons split they aren’t good to act like nothing happened.”
Dark tried to fight the exhaustion and humiliation he felt, but when Wil came back in, the little clouds of aura following him, Dark felt Wil’s aura fueling his own recovery.
As Dark was drifting off he heard Wil and Illinois talking.
“It’s so stuffy in here, let me get the window,” Wilford offered and strolled over to the bedroom window.
“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Illinois warned as Dark drifted off to sleep.
But Wilford was at the window in an instant and the second the window was open, the darker cloud of aura shot off and the other two clouds followed.
Wil just braced his hands on the window, stalling as Illinois glared at the back of his head.
“One second,” Illinois told him firmly, not wanting to scream and wake up Dark. “He is out for one second and you lose a trio of newborns.”
“I’ll go find them,” Wil began to climb out of the third-floor window.
“No,” Illinois told him.
Wil brought his foot back in.
“You are staying here, Dad needs the aura. I’ll go find them hopefully before he wakes up, I’ll call the Host,” Illinois pointed to Dark as he stood up and walked over to close the window.
“Right,” Wil agreed and Illinois gave a last parting look to Dark before racing out of the bedroom and getting ready to track down the spawnling trio.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post A/N: Okay so, I know I said somewhere that I didn’t plan on using Unus and Annus in my stories but honestly the fan art of them with the other egos is so cool and I just couldn’t help myself. 
 Accessibility Translations:
1. Dad! (Korean — Informally used, phonetically read as: Appa.)
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misterbitches · 4 years ago
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i just so deeply believe (and im right) that capitalism and putting a best face forward destroys art and also your will to want to create. the things that people make, that most people know about, become popular because industries pick people they know will comply, or need money, or are naive enough to think they can get what they want. 
there’s no reason productions should be that expensive and draining on crew members (i care less about actors bc i am a crew member and guess what actors just sit around all day sorry not sorry and i was one :P) but i always say: the little progress we make, is it really progressive? transgressive? 
and how could it be? how could it b ewhen companies refuse to relinquish themselves and break themselves up into parts. a web series could give people so much more freedom, but that is a whole lot more of a difficulty. i’ve made my own shorts (that i hate) and said what i wanted to say and even the pressure from how my school would receive it fucked up my psyche. 
and it takes so long for people who refuse to be stifled and be obsessed with this capitalist nightmare to get their shit released. if they get really popular still theyre not rolling in money (as they should not be) but they struggle to get shit together bc it’s harder to work with someone whose vision is opposed to this white supremacist garbage nightmare. 
i have a theory about parasite which is that SK has a totally different history with labor and capital than my country (US) does and it was done with that in mind and as an ttack on imperialism very clearly. that movie is not without its flaws, which can be discussed, but to date next to sorry to bother you which i havent seen it’s pretty much the most antagonistic film about that subject i’ve seen in a while. 
and in SK there’s tons of queer cinema (i may be exaggerating) but a lot of it is very gritty or uncomfortable (i am going to try and find this list my friend made of good sk queer cinema i think? or just n gen) and western gay shit is so popular overseas bc there’s a plethora of (BAD OR ANNOYING MOVIES I HATE CAROL) to go off of and see. a lot of international lesbians, for ex, really are into like hwood gay films or some shit bc that’s also what they can access and consume (let’s not get started on that fuckin dichotomy of man/woman but w/e) 
i wish i could be more cheerful and positive. it’s not that i don’t want to have fun or escape or watch these shows, in fact i do, and there’s legitimate shock when you see sth like ITSAY and it’s a beautiful cinematic experience. oh and on top of that i hate most TV and most TV is trash and films are better. imo ITSAY is like a movie split. 
why do we keep having hope in these systems? what i want in the future, because theyre not going away, is for more corps to reach out to collectives and diff types of filmmakers or artists and support them without making them stick to a contract and not do what they want. UNFORTUNATELY that’s really not how anyone feels like working. 
in my belief, at a time like right now, we have to be clear about not accepting austerity from the relief and to not fall into the trap of advancement via cultural artifacts. it’s bullshit—we fight against it. that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited when shows have things to say but i refuse to withhold critique because it’s so necessary in every piece
btw there’s this filmmaker called Park Kyoung Mi and though she’s married to this irish dude (who i think is like a professor of social theory idk) she was an AD to park chan wook (also a socialist) and a great filmmaker. in each of her works there’s a focus on women and queer themes of women and teens and their isolation and subsequent connections with each other. how men let them down, how you have to band together, the scariness of growing up. she made this miniseries for netflix called “school nurse files.” SNF was a book, it was written by a woman and its about desire, loss, and conformity, particularly for teenagers. there’s lots of queer themes and adult themes that  make it so we understand the precious lives of teenagers and how they need love and guidance instead of being shunned and pit against each other. 
it’s one of my favorite miniseries. netflix has this habit of picking up shows and telling NO ONE about them or very little advertising (it’s diff for south korean shows i think since a lot of production companies may come on board) and then canceling them. it is for a LEGIT reason which is MONEY!!!! but the director said she said yes bc she was given complete control and without it she would refuse. she also said she couldn’t get work or was feeling like the work she was doing was terrible (and in the reviews of the show or explanations about her it was always beginning with “PCW’s protege”) but she almost quit bc the pressure hrut and whittled at her
atp we need to take advantage of these systems if we have things to say and not let them take advantage of us. unfortunately, the opposite happens because people need work, have things to say whethere they’re shallow or not, and CONSTANT production means work and BS. this is how i feel about pretty much all industry and i’m the least critical of BL as opposed to say, kpop, or uhhhhhhhhh any celebrity ever bc it DOES have an edge over others but it’s an edge that they can barely fucking reach for or do well with. 
nothing and i mean nothing abou oversaturation and constant production will yield results that are going to be radical and “good” bc we’re approaching things ass backwards. the norm isn’t the ones that hurt you, the ones that stay with you, the ones that mean something. the norm is the bullshit you have to parse through. and even for things that do a great job of storytelling they still have their flaws or still have to buy into a system eventually, if the work calls for it, that they would long to eschew
if anyone sees this read this profile on arthur jafa, a prolific DP who i got the pleasure of seeing live AYYYY, and what he has to say. he left filmmaking then came back on his own terms and frankly i believe that’s just...what we have to do if we want to make a better world. that’s just me personally but this is my counterbalance to a fallacy that a work is revolutionary when it has zero intention of being so or will lie about its intention to save itself
this piec is called ARTHUR JAFA’S RADICAL ALIENATION and it reminds me of all the artists—particularly thai—i’ve seen that have had this radical alienation or refuse to water down their message and people will deal
i present one of my fav pieces  i’ve read frm the past year (it’s from 2014 but i read it end of 2019 when i was questioning me future) Radical Art is an Act of Uncompromising Passionate Resistance
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nikitasbt · 4 years ago
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The list of my 20 favorite movies, vol.2 (2019-2020)
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Back in 2018, I decided to start this experiment choosing my 20 favorite films, as it is at this particular moment. Used to sound a little silly to me first, yet I realized later this experiment has a merit if you do it once in a year. It’s just like a diary documenting your thoughts, ideas and sources of inspiration at some point. These things may change fast and they strongly affect person’s predilections, whether we talk about films, books or songs. It is simply fascinating to observe your personal development or changes based on the conclusions you can draw from your own favorite films. This year I was supposed to make this list 6 months ago but I just didn’t really feel like to. Now it’s time to get back to this fascinating experiment so here is its implication! 20.  Spring in a Small Town (小城之春)– 1948, Fei Mu. China
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Released one year before Communists’ takeover of China, Spring in a Small Town remains the most well-known film unveiling China in the period we all know very little about. The plot concerns a story of a married couple and their bitter days they live as the symbolic representation of the wreckage left by the World War. The story is delicate, psychological, poetic and beautiful. It is narrated in a very intelligent manner highlighting the exceptional talents of both Fei Mu and actors, especially Wei Wei who is still alive, aged 97 as of the end of 2019. Spring in a Small Town has been called The Greatest Chinese Movie ever made by Hong Kong Film Awards Association.
19. Masculin, Feminin – 1966, Jean-Luc Godard. France
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I’ve seen quite a few films of Godard and I find most of them outstanding. However, his most politically and socially charged work Masculin, Feminin retains a special place in my films knowledge base. I’m still impressed with this combination of those monologues delivered by young Parisians and bizarre scenes from the rebellious lives of youngsters. The film features wonderful tunes turning into a great addition to the illustration of the political and social tension in France in the 1960s. Masculin, Feminin reminds that France is the most rebellious nation in the world, in terms of fighting for liberal values and equality. Moreover, the feature of Godard gives a great glimpse into several matters of gender situation and problems of France in the 1960s.
18. The Rules of Game (La Règle du Jeu) – 1939. Jean Renoir. France
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One of the greatest examples of satirical films ever produced, The Rules of Game by Renoir strikes with the glorious cast, quality humour and excellent depiction of the French wealthy class decay before the devastating events of the war. An outstanding example of sophisticated director’s work and brilliant story, this film is also perfectly crafted and lensed, cinematography wise. The feature was considered controversy 80 years back upon release and almost felt into obscurity despite being the most expensive French film till that date, in order to re-gain attention and acclaim later becoming a symbol of French cinema greatness.
17. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring (봄 여름 가을 겨울 그리고 봄) – 2003. Kim Ki-duk. South Korea
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The only Korean film I’m going to list in my 20 favorite is the most well-known feature of Kim Ki-duk I’ve been admiring or years. A very simple work based on the number of the basic Buddhist symbols and references, it is obviously made to be accessible for the Western viewers. The pace of the film is gentle and calm while the environment strikes with beauty and evocative power. I’m quite a fan of Korean movies, especially when it comes to Lee Chang-dong, though I’m yet to explore most acclaimed Korean directors and their films. Eventually, I’d keep Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring as my favorite Korean film this year again. 16. The Straight Story – 1999. David Lynch. USA
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It’s been a long time David Lynch remains my favorite director. I absolutely love Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, Lost Highway as well as in fact all of his works. The Straight Story however always stood out. Somehow, it feels like David Lynch wanted to show with this feature that he is capable of many different genres, styles and he’s got a strong grasp or traditionally narrated stories. The Straight Story is a bitter, wise and sublime story of an old man looking back at all his life while knowing there is nothing left to expect from the future. The life was long viewed as a vibrant matter, a treasure, an excitement. In his last travel across America, he reminisces about his life in these beautiful shots, having long Hemingway-like dialogues with the curious people he encounters. The scenery is marvelous and the music of Angelo Badalamenti is something you can never forget. No doubt, my favorite film of David Lynch.
15. Stalker (Сталкер) – 1979. Andrei Tarkovsky. USSR
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Most of Tarkovsky’s films are so rich in what can be hardly seen or comprehended that I’ve been always asking myself whether I’m ready for such an art experience or not. Stalker, perhaps one of the most complicated films of him (behind Mirror, though), offers numerous layers, means, ideas and features the viewers can delve into. The film is truly intellectual and also extremely beautiful and enchanting. It is also one of the finest examples of vivacious actors’ work. Moreover, the special credit must be given to Tarkovsky’s cinematographers Rerberg and Knyazhinsky. Those iconic long takes with slow camera movement are magnificent. 14. Syndromes and a Century (แสงศตวรรษ) – 2006. Apichatpong Weerasethakul. Thailand
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It is said there are some feature-length films, of which the viewers cannot get much unless they watch together with the other films of the same director, as these loosely connected works can be comprehended together. From my point of view, Apichatpong Weerasethakul and his art is the case. I could name several films of him I admire, yet I can’t say I really liked any of them when I watched them first. It takes quite some time to familiarize yourself with his work, in order to understand how you can comprehend it. The yield might be highly awarding for many of those who’s got passion and absolutely fruitless for others. Syndromes and a Century remains my favorite film of the Thai director due to it’s emotionally charged shots and scenes depicting the beauty of humanity, transformations of people and their feelings. Apichatpong Weerasethakul is playing with the subtle material eventually giving space to draw numerous interpretations of his work. It’s tantalizing and entertaining! 13. Paris, Texas – 1984. Wim Wenders. West Germany / USA
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The finest combination of road movie with psychological drama resulted in a masterpiece created by the German director Wim Wenders who had shot this film in the United States. The story is very emotional and very intelligent at the same time. Also, it is one of the best works of Harry Dean Stanton who has been famous during his 60-years career as an actor of supporting roles. Being given a lead role here, he really made his character special. 12. Only Lovers Left Alive – 2013. Jim Jarmusch. USA
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I’ve already written and said many things about this film as Jim Jarmusch is certainly among my beloved directors, with his enigmatic style. Only Lovers Left Alive is a film basing on a number of references and themes Jarmusch has been fascinated by for years. To understand many hidden things, it is important to see all films of him and try to think in a way he does. Unfortunately, Jarmusch doesn’t make many references quite available to those who don’t know his works well. On the other hand, even those who don’t qualify can still watch this visually striking story and enjoy the beauty of music instruments, locations, shots and aloof characters. 11. Tokyo Story (東京物語) – 1953. Yasujiro Ozu. Japan
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According to many of the most acclaimed film critics and directors, Tokyo Story is the greatest Japanese film ever made and maybe of the finest masterpieces ever. The Golden Age of Japanese cinema with the works of Ozu, Mizoguchi, Naruse and other directors was truly marvelous, and Tokyo Story is widely considered to be its acme. The famous tatami shots, slow plot development, simple but very deep story, fantastic play – all these well-known Ozu’s features are present here in abundance. This is a film of an exceptional emotional degree ensuring the full immersion into it. The pace might be slow for many viewers and requires some exposure into Japanese classical cinema. Yet this experience is certainly worth acquiring, as the harmony with Japanese classic films is rewarding and memorable. Nevertheless, this is still not my favorite Ozu’s films, as of 2019/2020.
10. Apocalypse Now – 1979. Francis Coppola. USA
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Apocalypse Now is among the greatest American films in my eyes for a personal reason. A few years back, the film had taught me to admire the cinema and provoked my keen interest in it. This epic war-related drama goes far beyond the topics of war depicting a humankind’s journey down the hell. The funnel of dehumanization as I called while writing about this film a couple of years back. Absolutely masterpiece, Apocalypse Now. 9. An Autumn Afternoon (秋刀魚の味) – 1962. Yasujiro Ozu. Japan
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An Autumn Afternoon became a final film of Ozu. Along with his penultimate feature The End of Summer, it turned to be one of the recent treasures I discovered. The plot reminds of Late Spring, the film I named my favorite as of the end 2019. Yet the mood, key motifs and main themes are quite different. These several parallel stories within the same film depict the changing society and strong family bonds between generations. The traditional culture meets changing world showing there is always a room for wisdom, and people’s feelings don’t change in the same way as times and cultural environment do. One of the best casts Ozu ever assembled is another thing contributing to this outstanding film. Chishu Ryu, Shima Iwashita and Mariko Okada are the greatest actors of the Japanese cinema Golden Age making good replacement of Setsuko Hara who was not present here. There is so much to say about this film explaining why I love it better than Tokyo Story for example, yet I expressed it better in my older review.
8. Lost in Translation – 2003. Sofia Coppola. USA
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Starting with An Autumn Afternoon, my list of favorite films enters the dimension of emotions. My choice of previous movies was quite understandable in a way of common sense and proper explanations, but the rest would be nothing, but emotions. I’m quite impressed with this myself and this is just why I started considering valuable this experiment of writing a list of favorite films every year. Where would it take me? Saying Lost in Translation is my favorite American film would probably sound crazy! But here we are. How would I get it explained? Emotions. This emotional sublime charge of it is just one of a kind. A perfect style created by Sofia Coppola, a subtle story, breathtaking path and wonderful collision of fun and deep feelings… This is Lost in Translation. And there is always more and more you get and understand while watching it. This choice is romantic, but I’m getting along with that.
7. Days of Being Wild (阿飛正傳)– 1990. Wong Kar-wai. Hong Kong
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Time for the first film of Wong Kar-wai to appear in my list! Back in 2019 when I made this list last I was not a big fan of Days of Being Wild. However, I’ve seen it at least 5 times later slowly getting into this world of the wonderful romance, lovesick young people, strange lights and wonderful props and shots. The first collaboration of Wong Kar-wai with Christopher Doyle establishing this duo that would be crafting visual delights in a few other features. A wonderful cast with Leslie Cheung, Karina Lau, Maggie Cheung and Andy Lau in addition to wonderful music… It is slowly getting me, more and more. Yet again, this choice is nothing but my sense of romance in the cinema.
6. The Scent of Green Papaya (Mùi đu đủ xanh) - 1993. Tran Anh Hung. Vietnam / France
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This film is shot in Vietnamese and the drama is entirely Vietnamese. However, the director Tran Anh Hung has been living and working in France for most of his life so the movie should be considered French. Nevertheless, I personally take it as the greatest Vietnamese feature film as it had opened Vietnam for me from a new angle. It is an extremely beautiful film the shots of which seem to be inspired by the work of Fellini’s or Tarkovsky’s cinematographers and are also enhanced with vibrant, vivid colors, the striking shine of nature around the characters and warmth of their emotions. A gorgeous story, a glimpse into the world that perhaps never existed, the supreme sophistication of The Scent of Green Papaya had become the last reasons for me to relocate to Vietnam, even though I always the reality of Tran Anh Hung’s film only exists on the screen. Inspiring and breathtaking, a lovely and adorable film!
5. The Assassin (刺客聶隱娘) – 2015. Hou Hsiao-Hsien. Taiwan
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One of the prominent directors of the Taiwanese New Wave Hou Hsiao-hsien is a living god of art-house cinema. He had created multiple beautiful slowly paced features of which I’ve seen about 10. Relatively unknown in Asia, he has been highly respected in Europe, especially in the eyes of orientalists. His last film The Assassin has received many accolades such as an Award to the Best Director received by Hou Cannes. The Assassin is an acme of the visual beauty and technical sophistication of cinematography. This film would be very boring for those viewers who are used to the narrative features. Here the plot doesn’t really matter, as the film was made to immerse the viewers into the mood, visual beauty, atmosphere. It comes as a wuxia film, yet many critics call it a deconstruction of wuxia. The protagonist portrayed by Shu Qi gives a detached effect of both character herself and also the whole world around from the traditional way of storytelling. It really takes time to look into this film properly, I didn’t understand if I entirely liked it or not when I watch The Assassin first. I’ve started getting from the 3rd or maybe 4th time. And this is how this film is. My opinion about this film has changed a lot since the moment I wrote my first comments on it. A delight for those who admire visual delicacies, the film of Hou Hsiao-Hsien, in my eyes would probably always remain a standard of beauty I’ve seen on the screen.
4. Yi Yi (一 一) – 2000. Edward Yang. Taiwan
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Getting back to the films I select as the ones standing upon the pillars of smart and intelligent stories, I’d call Yi Yi my favorite Taiwanese film ever. The last and the best feature of Edward Yang has three perspectives in its story shifting from the glimpse into one generation of the family into another. This is a story of very simple people’s relations, feelings and emotions showing how the life goes around in a circle. It is almost impossible to find any weak points of this marvelously crafted story of three generations showing so many feelings and problems related to love, middle-age crisis, development of the individuality, childhood, teenagers’ discoveries, the fate of old people. The whole life is here, in Yi Yi. The film makes the viewers ruminate and look into their own lives from a different angle. The story is being told by a wise man who has got good eye observing littlest things in everyday’s life that really matter and make a difference. With little or without action at all, the slow pace of Yi Yi brings genuine emotions to those who watch it. Like I wrote in my review on Yi Yi, it was one of the strongest impressions I have ever had watching a film. 3. In the Mood for Love (花樣年華) – 1999. Wong Kar-wai. Hong Kong
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It’s been already told too much about this film in my reviews of Wong Kar-wai’s films I’ve written for my blog, and I want to stay away from iterations. I’d just say that one of the fascinating recent developments about In the Mood of Love I made is connected with the fact that one of the most important things for the director was to show the life of intelligent Shanghainese people in the 1960-s who were forced to immigrate and settle down in Hong Kong. This is the whole new dimension of the film which might be not obvious for the Western viewers, and it is fascinating. Other than that… I just cannot resist these shots in slow motion where Maggie Cheung takes me to the Universe of this story and visual style with her delicate and tantalizing sashay while the famous Yumeji’s music theme is playing. This is a supreme beauty! 02. Late Spring (晩春) – 1949. Yasujiro Ozu. Japan
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Narration wise, Late Spring remains my favorite without any doubts. The best role of Setsuko Hara, the fantastic emotions expressed by the whole cast impress me greatly again and again. Ozu had created a very interesting and difficult personality Hara’s Noriko: every time I watch this film I find something new in Noriko. And yet every time it makes me sometimes cry, smile happily or it just simply casts shiver down my spine with its sophistication and development. Sometimes, I feel like watching Late Spring 24/7! This film is also extremely important for me due to becoming a strong introduction for me into the world of classic Japanese films that remains the best period and school of cinema making to me. The only one reason I don’t name this film my favorite once again as I did a year ago is my dependence on emotions making me a type to easily fall for different things based on sharp and strong romantic emotions. And my choice of #1 film is again nothing, but an emotional thing.
01.   Fallen Angels (堕落天使) – 1995. Wong Kar-wai. Hong Kong
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The acme of neon exuberant cinema developed by Wong Kar-wai and Christopher Doyle is a non-plot film focusing on images of Hong Kong nights and lovesick young people who are always aliens in the middle of this neon-lit night. The story doesn’t say a lot while the romance is extremely intense. This is not a movie you may like or enjoy, you can only dissolve and it and love it if you’re the type and if you watch it in the time you’re apt for such emotions. I remember the first time I watched it and I was not really impressed… Yet I realized its emotional and romantic power later. Wong Kar-wai and Doyle are crazy about neon and they take it as an encapsulation of Hong Kong’s nights. The neon is very sexy, it is a symbol of attraction and alluring sexual power. We get dozens of memorable close-ups with female protagonists shot in unnatural neon light, and their faces radiate enthralling and mesmerizing neon sexuality. Considering Hong Kong is a city full of neon, this light also represents the rush of Hong Kong’s life that is exuberant, but reluctant to consider the romantic feelings of young lovesick youngsters. The characters, these people in their 20s, dissolve in this neon world craving for love, but not being able to have even a bit of this feeling. They are trying to find their own place within this Hong Kong night, and their struggles and showed lyrically. Heroes are silhouetted in neon lights which is extremely beautiful to see on the screen. The film is a master class of Christopher Doyle giving utmost attention to the lights and inventing an enormous number of camera tricks. The shots of Doyle are visually striking and perfect. He shots different moments from extremely wide angles to emphasize different feelings of characters. Many of the shots in this film are quite iconic, especially the ones coming with these crazy angles, extreme close-ups, step-print effect and with extreme wide-angle lenses.  It’s just unforgettable! Sometimes Doyle uses hand-held cameras which is punchy and quixotic. One of the most delightful and visually beautiful moments is the ending scene when an extreme close-up of Michelle Reis in the cafe, with bizarre green light directed on her. With her calm voice, she tells she has learned not to involve emotionally with the people. She talks about the weather, yet we know about her emotional wounds and woe. Meanwhile, there is a fray on the background she doesn’t even pay any attention to. The camera just stares at her, the background is blurred. And then it shows the mute guy beaten with the same type of close-up. This experience is totally about intense romance and visual delighted created by director, cinematographer and editor. And at this particular time of my life, I would name it the best development in the cinema I came across. I love Fallen Angles, no doubt a long time number one.
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sockparade · 5 years ago
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tips for surviving the pandemic: things i learned from my immigrant parents
It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over a week since the WHO announced that the coronavirus (COVID-19) was officially a pandemic. This has been a long, challenging week for a lot of people and it is nothing short of terrifying to read reports of what is happening in Asia and Europe as many predict that we’ll likely endure a similar fate here in the United States. In the midst of all of this chaos and uncertainty, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that my Taiwanese immigrant parents taught me. I’m sharing them here so that others might also benefit. Thanks Ma. Thanks Daddy.
你昨天已經出去了.
“You already went out yesterday.“
1. Learn how to stay home. Our family is eight days into self-isolating at home and Tony asked me this morning if I had cabin fever. And strangely, the answer is no. I’m not. Not to downplay the difficulty of this moment but my experience with this “shelter-in-place” ordinance reminds of pretty much all my summers between kindergarten and 8th grade. Both of my parents worked full-time so summer was just three blissful months of nothing. No structure, no plans, no camps, no playdates, and no responsibilities. My parents never made me feel like I was missing a thing by staying home and I don’t remember ever feeling bored. There were always library books to read, stories to write, and thoughts to journal. Hours were spent playing school with my big sister (now a first grade teacher!), making up random games like who can avoid touching the carpet longest, learning Kim Zmeskal’s latest gymnastics floor routine, writing lyrics to Kenny G saxophone solos, and rehearsing for our variety show that we would perform to our tired parents at the end of the day. And that’s not even including the hours we spent watching The Price is Right, CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Airwolf (yep, no cable).   
As a teenager I carefully plotted all my hangouts with friends so that I didn’t have too many consecutive days when I was out of the house. Whenever I asked my parents if I could hang out with friends, they would always say, “But you already went out yesterday. What’s wrong with staying home? Why do you always have to go out?” It was as if having too much fun two days in a row was off limits. If there was a big party on Friday, I would purposely make sure I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday just to increase the chances of being able to go out on Friday. I know a lot of people talk about how awful their high school years were but I was one of those lucky kids who had a really great group of friends that made me feel seen, loved, and cared for. The downside was that I couldn’t get enough of it. I was always thinking about the next hangout, the next event, the next thing. It took me all the way until my late twenties to fully appreciate the fine art of staying home and to finish my unexpected transformation into the expert homebody that I am today. 
I’m reminded of that old quote by Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." 
It’s great to be out and about, but it’s also really important to learn how to stay home.  
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晚上要吃什麼?清冰箱.
“What are we eating for dinner?” “Cleaning the fridge.”
2. Be creative with what you have. I love food. Not in a foodie sense, but I get a lot of pleasure out of eating. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. I thoroughly enjoy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as much as I enjoy a fancy, inventive, Michelin-starred meal at Commis. What’s hard for me is when food is eaten as sustenance rather than with delight. But my parents taught me that you can always take pride in preparing a meal. No matter your ingredients.
My mom is an excellent cook. I know a lot of people think their mom is a good cook but my mom is legitimately skilled in the kitchen. There were some nights when I’d ask what was for dinner and my mom would just reply, “Cleaning the fridge.” 
Now for some, this might sound terrifying. But my mom could honestly make something out of nothing. I still crave my dad’s simple egg and garlic fried rice. My parents raised me to be able to make an tasty meal just from rummaging in the pantry and fridge for random leftover things. There were plenty of summers where lunches and snacks were an individual culinary adventure for each of us kids. I still remember the day I witnessed my baby sister add a Kraft single on top of her onion ramen noodles. She saw my confusion, shrugged and said, “You should try it, it’s good.” 
With all the hoarding folks have been doing during this pandemic, I’ve found myself feeling quite anxious. Trying to calculate if we have enough food. Estimating how many more meals we can eat at home before we need to make another grocery run. As someone who struggles with a scarcity mentality it has been hard not to panic. But then I keep reminding myself that I know how to make good food using just whatever’s available. 
You know, I was pretty disappointed with Mary H.K. Choi’s second novel, Permanent Record, given how much I enjoyed her debut novel, Emergency Contact. But I was absolutely thrilled with the shine she gave to what her protagonist calls “Hot Snacks”.
Here’s an excerpt from Permanent Record that is a beautiful ode to creative food mashups and immigrant kids everywhere: 
“I edit and post a Shin Ramyun Black video set to music. My favorite instant noodles with three flavor packets and so much garlic. It’s a classic Korean HotSnack, especially when you throw in cut-up hot dogs, frozen dumplings, extra kimchi - and this is where the artistry comes in- eggs, cheese, corn from a can, and a drizzle of sesame oil on top. And furikake if you’re feeling wealthy. The next night I put up a bacon, egg, and cheese not in a bagel but in a glazed honey bun. Laced with sriracha and pan fried on the outside. Then it’s chilaquiles with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and chorizo. Jamaican beef patty casserole disrespected with a smothering of Japanese curry and broiled. With Crystal Hot Sauce over the top and pickled banana peppers. I’m trolling with that one but the controversy is berserk. When I run out of old videos, I make saag paneer naanchos with Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food, and it’s a hit. Especially when I add yogurt and a thick layer of crushed-up Takis on top.”
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看連續劇.
“Watch soap operas.” 
3. Find a way to escape. I’m generally pro technology but I’ll admit I’m a little bummed at the way iPhones and iPads have made TV viewing such an individual activity. I like how Disney+ has gotten some families back to watching TV together again. Although I will say, we really coddle our kids these days. I grew up in a time when movie ratings only applied in the theaters and we watched movies with our families like Alien, The Fly, and Gremlins. We were scared out of our minds and sometimes could only watch through the cracks between our fingers covering our eyes because it was so scary. Okay, this also might be why I can’t watch horror movies as an adult. 
From a young age, my parents taught me that watching other people’s drama unfold on screen is one of the best way to escape your own drama. Some people say binge watching became a thing when the TV networks started releasing shows on DVD. Others give credit to Netflix releasing their original content a whole season at a time. But truth be told, I first learned how to binge watch from my parents. 
We would rent 30-40 VHS cassette tapes from that random spot in Bellaire Chinatown. Can you picture it? You needed multiple plastic bags to transport that many VHS tapes. 
Do you remember the one about the dying mother who needed to find homes for each of her 7 children? I don’t think it’s normal for a 10 year old to cry so much but you better believe it’s made me learn the true value of a soap opera escape hatch. 
Are you in a pandemic? Now’s the perfect time to pick up that YA novel, binge that reality show, start that kdrama, or rewatch all six seasons of The Sopranos again.
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下個禮拜會下雨.
“It’s going to rain next week.”
4. Be informed about what’s ahead. If you ask either of my parents about the weather at any given time they can reliably tell you the daily percent chance of precipitation and humidity for at least seven days out. They’ve always been this way. They would inform me of the weather at various points throughout the week. They planned their yard work and car washes around the weather forecast. There’s something about the way the weather forecast is available to everyone. And it feels like it’s just a matter of making the small extra effort to access it and gain a slight advantage. I feel like so much of the immigrant mentality is to be diligent in making the right choices to not screw yourself over and seizing opportunities whenever you can. And it wasn’t just weather but this is such an obvious example of it. 
I remember my dad saying to me once, "Can you imagine if someone decided to read every book in their local library? If they just went shelf by shelf and systematically read all the books? You could do it, you know. It’s free, it doesn’t cost any money to check out a book from the library. But no one really does it.” 
I think immigrant parents get a bad reputation for forwarding chain letters and health/science hoaxes they get on email, WeChat and Line. And in a pandemic, yes, they are definitely susceptible to misinformation, rumors and flat out untruths. But the thought behind it seems right. 
The mistrust of government leadership is actually quite relevant right now in this pandemic. Many immigrants left countries with governments that were overtly corrupt, oppressive, and used propaganda to influence its citizens. And while many Americans still take pride in living in a country that verbally champions freedom and democracy, the truth is that our government has already failed us and lied to us in many ways. During this pandemic, we cannot wait on leaders to tell us what to do. We must be diligent in reading for ourselves, seeking experts, using our critical thinking skills, and making preparations accordingly.
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會不會冷?
“Are you cold?” 
5. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. I have so many memories of my parents walking through the living room and asking me and my sisters if we were cold. It felt like they couldn’t walk past the thermostat without asking us if they needed to raise it or lower it. As if they couldn’t hear us sneeze and wonder if they needed to turn off the ceiling fan. They couldn’t see us sitting in a dim room without turning on a light for us. There are so many times I fell asleep reading on the couch and woke up with a blanket over me. Or sometimes I was fully awake doing something random, like playing Egyptian Rat Screw with my sisters (a cardgame for the uninitiated), and my mom would walk by and wordlessly drop a warm, heavy blanket over my shoulders. That’s care, y’all. Consistent, immediate action, and often without words.  
The tip here is to pay attention to your discomfort during a pandemic. There’s this immigrant stereotype of stoicism and that’s true to some degree but maybe the resilience is made possible not because of unnatural toughness but largely because immigrant parents can also be so incredibly perceptive and tender in some very tangible ways. 
When everything is chaotic around you and you’re busy multitasking these next few months, don’t ignore your needs. Notice how you’re feeling. Physically and emotionally. Where are you carrying your stress and tension in your body? You don’t have to tough it out. Oh and remember to check in with your people on how they’re feeling. Is there a light switch you can turn on for someone? 
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笑死人.
“Laugh to death.” 
6. Laugh to survive. Look, we didn’t have the perfect family or anything like that. We’ve definitely had our share of difficult times, financial stress, health issues, arguments, and pain. But my parents also really knew how to laugh and taught us to laugh with abandon. Like, bent over, tears running out of your eyes, can’t breathe kind of laughing. Our dinner table was kind of like a writer’s room. It was difficult to tell a mediocre story. You had better come prepared with a punchline or a point. It was a tough crowd, every night. On many occasions I stopped myself halfway through a story upon the self-realization that there was no real way to land the plane. Polite laughs were nowhere to be found, except perhaps a charitable smile from my baby sister. But it didn’t stop us from trying. I think my sisters and I are all probably better storytellers for it and we definitely have learned to try to bring humor into difficult times.  
I know that this pandemic is so incredibly dark and depressing that it can sometimes feel disrespectful, inappropriate, or childish to laugh at anything. But my parents taught me that you laugh to survive. Nothing is ever so dark that you can’t find a reason to laugh. And sometimes you really need to find something to laugh about.
I’ve been taking long breaks each day from major media news outlets but I have been finding such joy and laughter from the meme creators on IG and the comedic geniuses on Twitter. In Taiwanese when something’s really funny, people will say a phrase that is imperfectly translated as laugh to death. Like you killed a person it was so funny. Now’s the time to find that content or those people who will get you to laugh to death. 
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我要去挪車.
“I’m going to go re-park the cars.” 
7. Go to bed with a plan for the next morning. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, Texas where one property developer built the entire neighborhood and used the same eight or nine floor plans for all the houses but changed up the brick and trim color to keep things interesting. Most homes have a long driveway that connects a garage set near the backdoor of a home to the street. By the time I was driving, we had four cars in total -- two in the garage and two on the driveway. At the end of the day when everyone was home for the night and my dad was getting ready to go to bed, he’d announce, “I’m going to go re-park the cars.” Then we’d all kind of stop what we were doing and rearrange the order of the cars to match our morning departure schedules. This meant figuring out who was leaving when in the morning and sometimes also prompted brief check-in conversations about any changes in our usual routine. 
In a pandemic it can sometimes feel like there are a million different things to attend to and large conceptual concerns that demand your attention. But there’s something calming and centering about spending a few minutes each night thinking through specifically what needs to happen just tomorrow. Not the day after or next week. Get super tactical and specific about what tomorrow morning looks like. Check-in with your partner about any aberrations to your schedule (e.g. I have a super important conference call at 7am tomorrow) to minimize any unnecessary surprises. There’s something magical about setting up your morning that helps you rest just a little easier at night. 
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星期三我們有禱告會.
“On Wednesdays we have prayer meeting.”
8. Make time for your spirituality. Growing up my parents both had physically demanding jobs. My mom was a seamstress for many years, providing alterations at my aunt and uncle’s dry cleaners. She later worked in an elementary school cafeteria and then eventually became a classroom aide for special needs students. My dad worked at that same dry cleaners for years until he got a job at the post office. He then became a letter carrier, delivering mail on foot. The summer months were especially grueling, carrying a heavy sack of mail in 100 degree, humid weather, and walking until sweat soaked his shirts and blisters formed on his feet. They had every excuse to skip weeknight events. But unless they were sick in bed, I can’t remember a time when they missed their weekly prayer meeting with their friends from church.  
Pandemics have an unsettling way of forcing us to confront our mortality and can trigger a bunch of unresolved shit that has been bubbling underneath the surface. We’ve lost some of our usual coping mechanisms and it can be super hard to quiet the anxieties, fears, and other demons that we usually try to keep under control. This isn’t a lecture about a particular faith or belief system. It’s just a reminder to prioritize your existential questions, your interior life, and your connection to things much bigger than yourself -- whether that’s a community, a yoga practice, a faith group, a tradition, or something else. 
I have a fledgling meditation practice that I’ve been trying to strengthen since last year. When I say fledgling I mean that sometimes I bail before the ten minutes is up and check my phone. Even though I’m not very good at it yet, I can really tell the difference on the days that I make time for it. Our church started hosting its weekly Sunday service online and that’s challenging for me because a church service feels like it’s designed to be so much about the physical rhythm of going to a place, seeing faces of people I love, hearing their voices co-mingling with mine in song and in prayer, and tasting the bread and wine in my mouth. The online service was short, and just for viewing through a zoom conference call, but there was still something meaningful about setting aside that time Sunday morning, asking our wiggly kids to be present, and saying the liturgy out loud knowing that in homes all across the country, other people are doing the same. 
If things are really going to get as bad as some are predicting, we’ll need the spiritual strength to make it to the other side. Those habits are hard to form overnight. My parents taught me that you really have to make the time for your spirituality non-negotiable, so that you won’t abandon it when it’s inconvenient or when you are too tired.    
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沒辦法.
“What choice do we have?” 
9. Rise to the occasion. Whenever my parents are telling old war stories about things they had to do to get to where they are today, inevitably one of us will say, “Man that’s crazy, how did you manage to do it?” And instead of pointing to some super personality trait of theirs or some complex self-help principle, they always say, “We had no choice.” It’s not said in a defeated way, but in a posture of accepting that life can be cruel, unfair, and capricious. And that it’s not helpful to dwell too long on the why’s and how’s. My parents taught me that you can’t stay in despair mode. You eventually have to push yourself into problem solving mode and you do whatever it takes to move forward.  
This coronavirus is so unlike anything we’ve ever experienced in our lifetime. It is so unprecedented for me that my brain is having a hard time processing the reality of what’s happening right now and the rest of my lived experience. I spent the first few days of this week just being overwhelmed, anxious, angry, and irritable. At this point though, I’m in go mode. I’m doing what needs to be done for our family and taking care of business. What choice do we have? I can hear my parents saying it. One day, if we’re lucky, we’ll say it to our kids too. 
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kimyoonmiauthor · 4 years ago
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Barnes and Nobles Bookstore Report 2020 on Diversity
For those who are new to this... What I do every year since I was 13 was go to the bookstore, usually in summer and take an overview look at what is being shelved and sold. This, of course, changed with the internet. It’s a way for me (and maybe you) to get a sense of what the industry is and isn’t doing, particularly with diversity. I also check local bookstores (But my local one is closed due to covid this year). I usually note what has an hasn’t changed. It’s something that authors should be doing anyway. I don’t do it more often because it’s usually depressing. And I don’t do it near holiday seasons, since that can skew the book selection unfairly. So I usually pick a non holiday-heavy month and one that will not skew my numbers (like say, February, which is Black History Month) I pay attention to the following: - Where the books are shelved. - How many times a book is shelved (in different areas) - Who gets the most real estate and a rough guess as to why. (Usually because they are white cis and male.... no lie) - Which diversity gets the most real estate - What are the labels on the shelves and if those are separate or different from previous years. - I generally skip the children’s section since there is a yearly report for that. - Demographics of the area visually apparent v. numbers of the area itself. Who are they supposed to sell to (and usually failing to sell to) Blame the Anthropology... I’m well-trained to look for such things. - All Bookends and displays. - I usually look at all sections of the bookstore and take notes, in order. - If I have access to internet, then I also look up the authors, if I can to find out their diversity and spread. - I also take lots of pictures.
These are my notes for this year.
Demographics of the area outside of the bookstore: About 50/50 with the majority being Latinx (Black and Latinx mainly) Mostly women. (It was early, though--maybe white) Last demographics of area 2010, granted 36,226 (71.1%) White, 2,573 (1.3%) Black, 531 (0.3%) Native American, 31,434 (16.4%) Asian (6.9% Filipino, 5.4% Korean, 1.3% Chinese), 122 (0.1%) Pacific Islander, 12,146 (6.3%) from other races, and 8,687 (4.5%)  (Latinx is around 17%)
The first two bookcases at the front of the store, were mostly white cis male authors. In the new author case, this was true, as well, and mostly had well-knowns.
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Considering the Latinx population, I’m always kinda feeling like why aren’t there more Latinx books on the shelves?
White and black authors. But the black authors are only there because of Black Lives Matter, which feels like it’s catering to the white people who want to know what this is about, rather than the demographics of the bookstore itself. The Magazine section, Vogue, in particular did have PoCs on it.
- The Art History Section is and always is really white. I could count the PoCs on the shelf of 6 tall shelves on one hand. All of the How to draw Manga books are by white people. I know this because I’ve looked up the authors in the past. And it’s not that Japanese don’t publish books in English with instructions, BTW... so I always find that a bit strange, especially since the author they choose doesn’t really have a manga style 100% but mixes in American Comic books. (But that’s a separate thing.) They mostly had known PoC artists, acceptable to white people. - The Cookbooks don’t cover Africa. They had one African American cookbook which interested me. (Labeled Soul food and had a Black author), but the books mostly were for “French” in the international section. A few Korean (2-3) and I didn’t spot many other regionalities. I looked for Indian, for example.
- There were SFF books front of the store, which surprised me. Might be because there were PoC authors and the majority were PoC. (Also Black Lives Matter skewing) - All of the seating was removed (probably because of covid) I usually use it to sort through books I want...
- No Surprise, the same location for featured “classics” as last year and all but one were written by white men. The token book? Arabian Nights. I’m not sure that really counts since it was compiled by a white guy. (Believe me, I had thought like where is Jorge Borges? Marquez? etc) Most of the authors were white cis and het too... - The recommended section... by looking, mostly white cis het men. - Danielle Steele was shelved in General Fiction section. Actually several genres were shelved together there. Some Science Fiction, Some Fantasy, Some Romance, Some Historical Fiction, etc. There was no special section for Historical Fiction. (Not popular? Used to be back in the day...) There’s no LGBTQIA, women’s or African American section, even in the non-fiction. I have mixed feelings about taking it out of the non-fiction section. I like it combined in the Fiction section. They also took out all of the sub labeling except for major transitions. (Labeling individual shelves as containing something) - Diminished Latinx books in the Classics (Shelf) section. This has not changed... and it still ticks me off how white and cis het (also leans towards male) it is. - Increased black authors overall. Octavia Butler was Shelved twice, for example. Toni Morrison got a bookshelf all to herself (probably because of her recent passing). Nnedi Okorafor actually showed up on the shelf. Rena Barron was triple shelved--once at the front of the store and in two sections of the bookstore... So apparently B&N have a lot of faith in her book. - Overall, improved balance between men and women (except in the classics and recommended sections. I feel stabby about that.)
- The covers were a lot less offensive overall. (Though I had a few head scratchers on why that cover for that book, but that’s getting into graphic design quibbles) The PoC books actually had PoCs on the cover. And some of the covers were redone to have PoCs on the cover. There were no sexualized women on the out turned books. The Mystery/Thriller books, for example, has a trend of being symbolic and drawn. Kinda felt like I was staring at the old Chick Lit.
- There were less books shelved overall, because of the shelving practices of out turning the books so people could see the covers. (Even less than last year)
- The Romance Section ticked me off since I could count the amount of PoCs on the cover with one hand. But the covers have improved a bit. Jim Hines won the cover war... There was ONE LGBT book and ONE interracial book. It’s like PoCs don’t fall in love at all. What gives?
- Science Fiction and Fantasy were separated again. The amount of shelves for YA and SFF were about equal. (Which drastically changed from last year). This meant that the genre fiction was mostly equally shelved. (Mystery/Thriller might have gotten a smidgen less). The Science Fiction section was astoundingly male cis het. I even looked for authors I knew who were queer/poc, etc and couldn’t find them. Anne McCaffrey was gone completely, BTW. Oh and JK Rowling didn’t make it to the main shelves (She was in the audiobook section). lol Someone was mad. So win one, lose the rest.
- All of the “recommended race” books were written by People of color and well known. Win~ But all on black-white relations except one. (A book on my wishlist, but I pre-promised myself to not buy anything... so it was difficult to leave that one behind...) - The people with the most shelving were Shakespeare (Got his own section), Stephen King, and I forgot the third author, but he’s male cis and het too... Yeah... I know. And yes, there are authors more prolific than these authors too in history who are also PoC. - All of the books were from known and popular authors rather than unknown authors, mainly. Not like that rare find where you’re browsing and you go, “OMG, never heard of this person before.” So for me, who likes to browse and find that rare find it’s not as fun. I’ve found books pre-internet that were like that in Barnes and Nobles no less.
Overall: Improved, but I have this irking feeling the increase in black books is specifically to the Black Lives Matter movement. They care more about publicity than the cause, otherwise, other PoC groups wold have gotten better rep. Also kinda sad at the lack of LGBT. The widest diversity in the store is still YA. And as every year, I’m super sad about the lack of rep for Latinx. Seriously, didn’t you give it a thought that you might be in an area that’s not white? (I know the “But you could complain” thing... but it never worked in the past either and I have written to corporate, just so you know.) I pretty much left with this feeling of elation that it was improved, but this feeling of sickness that they were still, STILL catering to white people. (Cis het, etc). Yeah, depressing enough to want to marathon several PoC shows to undo the implicit bias type of feeling. And this area, as shown isn’t lacking in PoCs. Also, kinda have to state, I wish it was more like a treasure hunt... sometimes that’s the best part of going to a bookstore. Disappointed about the lack of a non-fiction LGBTQIA... kinda had a wish the Julie Sondra Decker might show up in that section. My ace little heart. I took 108 pictures as photo proof of my assertions (Again, Anthro training). BTW, Rena Barron should thank her publicist for convincing for the triple shelving...
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filmaficionerdo · 6 years ago
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Best Films of 2018
Best Films of 2018
2018 was not the year for prestige pictures by a long shot.  Film this year was at its best when it came to superhero movies, and as much as I prefer those over most any other entertainment, that shouldn’t be the case, and that’s not what got me into film in the first place.  As happy as I am to see my favorite comic book characters come to life, I got into film because of daring, bold, and outspoken artists who didn’t need a franchise to speak their minds.  Too many mid-range films went to Netflix or other streaming services and they’re mostly of poor quality with a few exceptions.  I miss the days when film studios took risks, but now they only look for the largest IP with the largest net-profits.  It’s sad.  I love Marvel movies more than anyone I know but they shouldn’t be the only reason I look forward to going to the theater.  But this year also sparked a personal change for me because I moved away from the movie mecca of Hollywood to mid-Michigan, where there aren’t any arthouse theaters nearby during peak awards season so I missed more films than I would’ve liked (even though it’s been the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had) so I hope that helps explain why this list is so late.  I’ve been catching up on independent films via online rentals as soon as I can and still have many left unseen.  So maybe I missed something during 2018, but I can’t help but be letdown by the lack of inspiration I look to when I try to experience the medium I’m most passionate about.  With that being said, I was still able to conjure a list of my favorite 25 films of the year.  So, here goes:
25. Halloween
This was way better than I would’ve expected, especially coming from the guys who brought us Your Highness.  Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny (Eastbound & Down) McBride delivered the first worthy Halloween sequel that’s ever existed.  Their updated and timely subversion elevated this homage-y sequel while adding more fun than this franchise has ever seen.  John Carpenter’s contribution and the opening credits sequence hit hard with me.
24. Ready Player One
Haters be damned, I really enjoyed this movie.  Of course, I never read the book so that discredits me somewhat but what I got was a rousing Spielbergian experience that we haven’t witnessed since Minority Report.  If you hate this movie, but you loved Hook, there’s something fundamentally wrong with what you think a Spielberg movie is supposed to be about.  Ready Player One was a toybox of fun ideas and intellectual properties sewn together for a generation hung up on video games and nostalgia.  It’s definitely not his best but I love seeing a veteran director who still has the ability to dust off his old toys and make pretend.  The Shining sequence was an absolute standout of appreciation and love for another director’s craft.  
23. Sorry to Bother You
Boots Riley’s debut was strong and weird as hell.  This felt like Spike Lee meets David Cronenberg.  It’s funny, nuanced, and insightful.  Riley’s new voice was energetic and angry in the best way.  I saw this later in the year than I wanted to, but I have a feeling that repeat viewings will enhance this films relevance and my appreciation.
22. You Were Never Really Here 
Lynne Ramsay is one of the best and most unpredictable working directors today.  I always look forward to her work, but this semi-Taxi Driver remake was remarkably accessible for her and more powerful than it had any right to be.  If you haven’t seen it, seek it out.  It’s a crisp 88 minutes long and it’s riveting as well as heartbreaking.  There was a uniqueness to the short runtime, violence, and poignant urgency that she handled with deftness.  Joauquin Phoenix was remarkable, brute, and subtle all at once.
21. Ant-Man & The Wasp
Go ahead and agree that this wasn’t the strongest Marvel output in a while, but just like the previous Ant-Man, it’s a palette cleanser from a previous Avengers film.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is maybe the most child friendly film they’ve ever released and it was still enjoyable as hell.  It’s not important.  It’s simple fun.  And I love that Marvel still knows how to craft something that doesn’t want or need to reach for the fences.  Sometimes an inside the field hit is just what we need.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is a damn good bunt.
20. The Incredibles 2
Now that I hang out with a toddler on the reg, watching this movie never gets boring.  I’d know, because she’s watched it with me five times.  Incredibles 2 was long overdue and it’s maybe not quite so worthy of such a long wait considering the original was my favorite film of 2004, but its sequel was still full of exceptional animation.  That sequence with Jack Jack and the raccoon still fills me with joy.
19. A Star is Born
Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut was surprisingly strong.  Filming everything in close-ups was an intimate and innovative way to express a rising star’s personal journey to stardom.  Even though we can all agree that the first half of the film is vastly superior to the tear-turkey-jerky second half, it’s still an important film and a worthy update of a timeless classic.  The music, performances, cinematography, and sound are all exceptional.   
18. BlacKkKlansman
Spike Lee felt reborn with BlacKkKlansman.  Do The Right Thing will always be one of the all time greatest films; no question.  BlacKkKlansman might be his best since.  John David Washington just established himself as a commanding lead, and Adam Driver further cemented himself as a phenomenal actor.  The poetic-ness combined with the satirical edginess made this one significantly heartbreaking watch while being entertaining and iconic all at the same time.
17. The Death of Stalin
I saw The Death of Stalin early in 2018 and it never left me.  Writer/Director Armando Iannucci is a certifiable genius and the controversial nature of a film like this was one of the most refreshing voices of the year.  This is one of the darkest political satires I’ve ever seen but it’s so goddamn funny.  Laughing at something so atrocious and maddening is one of the only ways we, as a society, can heal from dark times in history.  I fully believe it takes the power away from the people who committed such heinous crimes.  It takes time and a brilliant voice, but it holds a mirror to the ridiculousness we’re currently subjected to, and hopefully with time, we can make fun of our situation too.
16. Leave No Trace
Debra Granik finally followed up her outstanding Winter’s Bone debut and she did not suffer from the sophomore slump that so many other filmmakers have.  Leave No Trace is the saddest love letter to veterans that I’ve ever seen even though it’s beautiful and full of hope.  Granik definitely should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination this year for her delicate and heartfelt look at a father struggling with PTSD while living with his daughter in the woods, away from society.  Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie are stunning.  This film stayed with me for weeks after I watched it.  It’s a small but hugely important film.
15. Annihilation
Alex Garland previously made his directorial debut with Ex Machina after an incredible script writing filmography.  He’s established himself as one of the smartest and most important voices in science fiction cinema after Annihilation.  This is a heady sci fi film that scared the shit out of me.  I felt uneasy the second the group of women walked into The Shimmer.  Garland adapted the book it’s based on after only reading the book once, but he created something so frighteningly ethereal that it’ll be talked about for years.  The score for this was off the charts good.  Going from an acoustic instrumental to something electronic was what struck me the most as a stroke of genius.
14. Shoplifters
For a film I saw so recently, very few films this year have had such an emotional impact on me.  Shoplifters is a small “family” film from Korean director Hirokazu Kore-eda, but it packs a punch that I wasn’t expecting.  All I knew was that critics loved it and it was up for a Best Foreign Language Oscar.  It’s a powerhouse of social status and what it means to be a family that defies language and cultural relevance.  
13. First Man
First Man hit me hard on a personal level.  I’d sort of written off Damien Chazelle as a director after La La Land underwhelmed me so much, but this film reinvigorated my appreciation in him because the filmmaking here was profoundly beautiful.  The acting is impeccable.  The cinematography was breathtaking.  Seeing this in IMAX (as my last film in LA) was a jaw-dropping cry-fest.  I left the theater shook.  I doubt this film will shake as many as it did me, especially if you missed it in IMAX, but this was the theater experience of the year.  At least recognize that Justin Hurwitz’s musical score was the most overlooked snub at this years Academy Awards.
12. Suspiria
This was another film I’d sorely missed in theaters, but when I finally got a chance to witness it I was blown away.  Luca Guadaninio’s follow-up to my favorite film of last year, Call Me By Your Name, was a worthy successor.  This was less a horror film, and more of an art-house homage to Dario Argento’s original 70s classic.  It’s still a haunting film, but in a beautifully macabre way.  Thom Yorke’s score is absolutely outstanding, as well as the subversively drab look, completely deviating from the originals color saturated visual palette.  It’s a film that has to be watched more than once.  Even though it’s 2.5 hours long, I was completely transfixed the entire time.  It’ll depend on your mood or taste, but if you enjoy artistic, visual, and auditory enhanced horror, Suspiria is among the best. 
11. Mandy
Throw up the horns.  Mandy is here.  Pasmos Cosmatos cerebral horror film is full of the best revenge porn I’ve ever seen.  Nicolas Cage is unhinged (as he should be) in his best performance in ages.  He’s the Cage we’ve been dreaming of since the 90s.  The first half of this film belongs to Andrea Riseborough and underrated character actor Linus Roache, but the second half is all Rage Cage in full gory glory.  Mandy is a film unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but yet somehow it’s still completely accessible.  The title cards for each chapter are something straight out of a Heavy Metal comic book, and the hauntingly beautiful score by the late-genius Jóhann Jóhannsson is simply gorgeous.  Mandy is a film meant to be laughed at and with.  It’s a fever-dream of ideas that work brilliantly as a whole.  It’s a hard one to recommend but if you know, you know.  
10. Eighth Grade
Bo Burnham just burst onto the directorial scene with this film about the awkwardness of being a thirteen year old girl.  Not something you’d expect from a male standup comedian in times like these, especially when it’s handled so delicately and with so much heart, but it feels so important to young kids who’ve been thrown into subjectivity amongst their peers within the digital age.  Eighth Grade can, at times, make you so uncomfortable, and at other times it’ll completely tear your heart out and make you want to hug your dad.  I know, because I saw it in the theater with my dad.  He was like, you’re still the eighth grade girl you’ve always been.  Thanks, dad.  
9. Aquaman
I know there isn’t a ton of hate for this film, but there isn’t a ton of high praise for it either.  Aquaman was exactly the film James Wan set out to make.  It’s one of the most comic book-y films since Age of Ultron except it’s dumb as hell, and for that, I absolutely LOVED it.  This was a throwback comic book film ripped from the pages that was corny as hell and never took itself too seriously.  Aquaman is a damn hard character to adapt so it’s unbelievable that he got this big of a budget that included over-the-top actors like Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren.  Patrick Wilson chews the scenery as Ocean Master and I don’t give a damn what people think of Black Manta; he’s completely awesome.  You could’ve easily cut this film down, but I was happy to live in its oceanic cheesball world for hours.  Aquaman was the comic book movie of the year that was as ridiculous as it was awesome.  I laughed so hard at how stupid it could be, but I couldn’t help but be entertained by how insane it was.
8. Mission: Impossible Fallout
I don’t know how these films keep getting better, but they do.  This was THE action film of 2018.  As much as I love Fast & Furious 5-7, Mission: Impossible 4-6 has been the best run of a long running action franchise ever.  Fallout brought one of the best villains yet in a story that barely makes sense, but I couldn’t care less.  This film was big in that edge-of-your-seat way that rarely comes along.  Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it.  The IMAX presentation was fantastic.  I live for movies like this.  It harkens back to 80s and 90s action films but presents itself for a whole new era of practical effects extravaganza.  It’s the best action film since Mad Max: Fury Road.
7. Black Panther
There are a lot of people questioning this film’s entry as a Best Picture Nominee, but it absolutely deserves all of the recognition it’s getting.  Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is both culturally and politically significant as it is cinematically.  This film is a culmination of what Marvel has been growing to.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t simply about story progression, it’s about cultural progression.  These films represent societal beacons of the times we live in through decades old comic book prisms.  The lore and spirit of the comics are still present, as well as relevant, and the socio-political themes have been injected into them effortlessly.  
A character like Black Panther can be a leader of change within his own cinematic universe.  Marvel’s created something that transcends blockbuster cinema.  Black Panther is now an icon of cultural appreciation that can inspire real change in the real world.  He’s an optimistic embodiment of what we should strive to achieve as a society.  We should share with the world our hope for change.  Comic Book’s have never been so relevant.  Black Panther has never been so important.
6. Roma
Director Alfonso Cuarón’s intimate portrayal of life as a housemaid was one of the most vibrantly affecting films I’ve ever seen.  Every single shot wasn’t just a landscape; it was a mural.  I’ve never seen direction take this angle and provide so much while saying so little.  Some people might’ve felt emotionally disconnected from his style but Cuarón’s masterful direction captivated me like very few films this year had.  There are multiple layers to his visual representation that effect more of what’s seen than what’s said.  It’s not an easy watch and perhaps that’s part of why it was released by Netflix.  Unfortunately, I had to watch this at home instead of in theaters, but I still felt the impact of the themes and presentation.  It’s one of the few Best Picture nominees that truly belong in the category that’ll stand the test of time.  
5. Paddington 2
This was one of the earliest releases of 2018 and it never escaped my mind throughout the year.  Paddington 2 advances upon the original’s tone to encapsulate something that is pure joy.  Paul King directed the bejeezus out of this movie.  I felt like I was watching Wes Anderson meets Harry Potter.  I saw Paddington 2 in theaters with just one mother and daughter couple and it never felt weird.  The only thing that’s weird is that more people haven’t seen this film.  I had a smile from ear to ear the entire time.  This movie is magic.  Like the Harry Potter films, all of the best British actors are present, and Hugh Grand and Brendon Gleeson give their best performances in years, if not ever.  Hugh Grant should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor.  If you haven’t seen this hidden gem yet, do your soul a favor and seek it out immediately.
4. The Favourite
Yorgos Lanthimos is on a roll.  This nutty Greek director began his career with the insane film, Dogtooth, and hasn’t let up since.  But he’s also learned and built from his previous work.  What started as something of a cultish followed career has expanded into prestigious and innovative filmmaking.  I’d nearly missed this film in theaters until I drove across the state to see this with my parents in Ann Arbor, and although it might be one of the worst movies to see with your parental units, we all could agree that this was a uniquely hilarious and thought-provoking experience.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because I was too busy trying to avoid talking to my mom and dad about Emma Stone jerking somebody off, but The Favourite stayed with me for weeks and I loved dissecting all of its themes and nuances.  The Favourite is both entertaining and timely.  It’s another one of the films this year that absolutely belong with (and should’ve won) the Best Picture nominations.
3. Widows
Steve McQueen’s Widows was vastly underseen and underrated.  Here’s a director who usually only does vague, cerebral drama, but working with Gillian Flynn as a screenwriter adapting Lynda LaPlante’s 1983 novel about wives finishing the heist their husbands failed to complete before their untimely deaths, is about as pulpy and as timely as you can get.  There are a lot of stories woven into Widows epic crime saga and some critics have faulted the film’s narrative for it, but look at Heat; one of the most prolific crime sagas of all time, which has more subplots than you could imagine, yet it’s still widely regarded as one of the best films ever made.  Widows is the best film of its kind since Heat in 1995.  It still carries the acting heavyweights and still compelled me more than nearly any other film in 2018.
2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Into the Spider-Verse is one of the few films in 2018 that has the power to influence cinema for the future.  Not only is it extraordinarily entertaining, but it’s also innovative in terms of style and theme.  No other film in 2018 was this inventive and groundbreaking.  I was definitely excited to see this as a lifelong Spider-Man fan, but based on Sony’s mishandling of the character for years, it had me extremely cautious.  Thanks to Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s impeccable screenplay, I got more than the Spider-Man I’ve always wanted to see.  This is a Spider-Man for a new generation.  He’s not my Spider-Man, he never was.  This film is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE.  The cell-shaded animation and soundtrack elevated this film into bonafide classic territory.  I couldn’t even comprehend it after I first saw it, because I wasn’t ready for something so new.  Months after I watched this film, I could not stop thinking about it.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is so nerdy for the fans and so accessible to the newcomers.  It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe where good movies in 2018 DO exist.
1. Avengers: Infinity War
The *Snap* heard ‘round the World...
Marvel has a good history of taking formulas from other genres and using them as a framing device for their superhero films; political thrillers, space operas, video games, heist films are all borrowed ideas that helped them keep the superhero genre from feeling stale. Avengers: Infinity War is Marvel’s fantasy epic. This is the Lord of the Rings of the MCU. The result is legendary. The Russo Bros. looked at their massive roster of heroes, who audiences have come to deeply care for over ten years, and came up with a way to tell one cohesive world-ending story centered around one villain; the mad titan, Thanos. They looked at Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and they saw how well those were balanced, and they applied it to a superhero film. It’s unbelievably well executed. The big reason Infinity War works so cosmically well is Josh Brolin’s portrayal of Thanos. We couldn’t get behind another world-ending event in these movies unless we believed and understood the villain that was behind it all.  Brolin gave Thanos both menace and pathos.  From the moment the movie starts, the stakes feel real. None of the characters are safe because we believe Thanos is capable of anything from the very beginning.  There aren’t many epics where we spend this much time with the villain.  Thankfully, Marvel knows we already care about the heroes, so after building up a ten year rapport between audiences and protagonists it was finally time to focus on the Big Cheese who’s behind all the conflict. This movie is so comic book/fantasy it’s ridiculous.  I loved every second of it and could not wipe the smile off my face nor the tears from my eyes.  I felt like my ten year old self, alone and engrossed in the most epic comic book I’ve ever read.  I was shaken when I left the theater. I turned around and watched it again just 30 minutes after my first viewing, and I couldn’t believe how captivated I was the second time, third time, forth viewing, fifth, sixth, and so on...  Nothing could’ve prepared me for this film and I’m so thankful it exists.
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judythemoonicorn · 6 years ago
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I’m 33 years old. That’s over three decades of being alive on this planet. More than that, I grew up throughout a major technological revolution - which in turn resulted in major world-wide cultural evolution. The internet changed a lot. A lot a lot. More than people even ten years younger than me may realize.
But that’s not me bragging, that’s me marveling at the amount of change I’ve experienced both personally and socially. 30 years ago my neighborhood was primarily white with a peppering of latinos (Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, etc.) I lived (and continue to live) on the edge of the border between the North and South sides of my area (Northside is/was primarily slavic/baltic; Polish in the majority, Russians, and a peppering of others and Southside is/was primarily black and latino).
I didn’t see an Asian person in person until I was past 10 years old. Or at least I don’t remember seeing one before then. The only reason I remember that specific meeting is because I was running a lemonaide stand with a friend and a group of chinese (?) people randomly passed by, asked what we were doing, then laughed at us and walked off.
Anyway.
If you were to come to my neighborhood today things are vastly different. I now see asian people on a daily basis. There are germans, french, italians, indians, koreans, japanese, chinese, taiwanese, and god knows I don’t know all the possible places people have come from. My neighborhood is so diverse and busy now I don’t think my younger self would know where she was.
I emphasize this because, again, back then I wasn’t exposed to a great amount of non-whites. I could probably have counted on my hands how many POC classmates I had throughout gradeschool in my tiny, tiny school (my graduating class was 5 students including me). When I moved areas and went to High School, that school was primarily white (Italian) as well.
It wasn’t until my life went to shit and I moved back to my hometown with my mom and I switched schools (for the 4th time) I ended up in a primarily black/latino high school just a few blocks away from where I lived. Which, I should point out, a black child services woman didn’t want to send me to to begin with and acted like I’d be missing out or something if I went there or that I somehow “deserved better” than that place.
It was the first and only high school I went to where no one bullied me. People were kind and deeply interested in me and my drawings that I’d work on all day. I didn’t make any deep friendships; I found people treated me more like a curiosity all things considered, but people were amicable with me. Even if they weren’t always with each other (a LOT of fights broke out in that school, and it was the first one I’d been to that had students pass through a metal detector every morning).
Then it happened. The day came when a bunch of people were looking through my sketchbook and marveling at my work, and the girl holding the book turned to me and said something along the lines of “you don’t draw black characters?”.
I can’t say exactly what I felt at that time. Kind of shocked, kind of embarrassed. The thought had honestly never once occurred to me. Was I even allowed to do that? I’m ‘white’ after all. There’s a lot I’m not allowed to do, or I’ve always been told I’m not allowed to do, when it comes to POC. My father was/is pretty damn prejudice against just about everybody. I never saw the need to be, but my exposure was also very small to black families and their home and social cultures and the like. How could I, a Polish/Lithuanian girl who at that point in my life had practically no friends or real social relationships and a still blossoming access to the internet, be allowed to draw a black character?
Did I even have the right marker colors? (I only seriously took up digital art after I turned 18, before then I colored with alcohol-based markers like Copic and Prismacolor.)
It felt like a door opening. I was given permission to draw a black character. Someone had asked me why I wasn’t already doing it, and now I felt I had to. I remember very specifically buying a magazine where it had a photoshoot of some kind in it of Beyonce - who I felt and still feel is extremely beautiful. Plus she was the current hotness at the time so she seemed a natural fit for reference. I was studying for the GED at that point in my life, in a small ramshackle classroom where I was one of two total white kids surrounded by mostly latino guys and gals. People constantly asked me why I was there. I used “big words” (I still can’t believe someone said that to me...) and I was “really talented”. Life doesn’t really care what color your skin is.
Anyway, so I picked a picture I liked and went to it. I was nervous. Drawing the actual figure of the character wasn’t the hard part. Coloring her skin was. I didn’t have many brown colored markers, and markers were expensive for a young woman with no income. I’m talking sometimes $5 a marker. Prismacolor was cheaper and easier to get, but the color quality varied. I had tons of light-skinned colors. Only one brown I felt suitable for a black person.
Long story short on that one I created a character I really quite liked, and I was met with approval from my peers as well. It felt good. But I still felt I was missing the grand picture.
What did it mean to be ‘black’? In a physical sense, I mean. If I was meaning to portray the physical then surely it was more than just a skin color. Even I knew back then that I couldn’t just slap a darker skin color on a random face and call it a day. Half the time that’d just be a really tan ‘white’ person. I was so worried about not having the right marker color back then perhaps in part because it would be the only thing that distinguished the character I was creating as black. I was only drawing generic anime faces back then. What made the character read as ‘black’? There had to be more to it.
I think after that I started to take it as an observational fascination. There was a teacher at the GED program who was a tall, lean black man who played in a jazz band as a saxophonist, and I would stare at him the whole lesson (probably a little too much). He was perfect in my eyes for what I was looking for and what I hadn’t been exposed to growing up. The shape of his nose, his cheeks, his eyes, the gloss of his dark skin under lights; the way the palms of his hands were lighter than the rest of his skin struck me as romantic. I wanted to hold them and stare at them and study the lines I could so clearly see compared to my own pale hands. I never had a crush or anything like that despite the way I tell it, it just felt like an epiphany. Here I had someone to actively study. A model. Someone who was a mentor to me and I didn’t have to go through the social hoops of being a family friend or something.
Color was important. Absolutely important. But so was structure, attitude, body language, the shape of the face and the joints of the hands. The whole body had quirks to it that rang him as human just like me, but different unlike me. It’s hard for me to fully put it into words when I’m trying to describe it from a purely artistic sense. In the normal freaking world people are just people. But like I said before; when you want to recreate or portray the physical in a drawing/painting/whatever, there’s a whole other layer to it all. It’s like the real world is a photograph - very exact and to its own point. An illustration needs to capture the soul of a moment and all the elements that come with it.
There is a way to draw a woman that portrays her as a woman. To give hints to her personality and all else that she is. It’s like that. I needed to know what made a POC what they were beyond picking the right shade of red-brown.
And I say all this, I emphasize all this, because oh my god I see so many posts on Tumblr calling out ‘white people’ on their lack of ability to properly color black or brown characters. Or they call out whitewashing, or they call out characters being ‘too ashy’, and the accusations fly because holy shit a white person who’s been white all their life doesn’t know how to draw black people. Can you even believe?
I’ve literally seen images that feature extremely, purposefully washed-out color schemes getting railed against because one of the characters is dark skinned but the wash-out makes them look ‘white’. I remember that time Beyonce did a photo shoot and the lighting and makeup made her look very light-skinned and people called her out for whitewashing herself.
Maybe I don’t understand. I fully admit that. I’m only a simple, not-that-professional artist trying to understand the world. But I do want to believe there’s a lot more to being who you are than how you were born, who you love, or what color your skin is. When I see someone like Beyonce I see Beyonce. I don’t see a black woman. I see a woman who happens to be black. But maybe this, too, is ‘privilege’... And maybe there are things I can accept for the sake of artistic expression without the weight of racism or bigotry weighing on my mind and soul. I have to acknowledge that, too.
I sure mentioned Beyonce a lot. Jeez. Her and Rihanna are like the two most beautiful women in the world in my opinion though. And I often have Naomi Campbell on my mind too because she was a muse for Naoko Takeuchi when doing an illustration of Setsuna/Sailor Pluto. So.
ANYYYYbutt... As a closing thought, I have to wonder how different my thinking would be if I were a young artist today with all this access to resources and tutorials and every color under the sun with digital art. And a lot of people talking down to me about how awful I am as a white person for not knowing how to shade darker skin. There’s a lot of posts like that. Hm. Tumblr is a weird place.
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babblingbat · 6 years ago
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Various Characters I meant to post Months ago
Various Characters of mine
I have so many I want to write (some) of them down! This is a suuuuuper long post so more under the cut! Includes a spy, a crime lord/activist, and a bargaining warlock (I have to reblog this later bc tumblr threw a hissy fit about the length)
X
- Kinda in a Bond-esque spy agency, but more of a contractor
- When everything goes to shit, you can count on them to fix it
- Nonbinary protege of whoever is in charge of the tech division (Mezza? Sloane? Dixon? idk, but they have a hell of a shady past and there’s like… noooothing that can keep Sloane out of computer systems)
- X isn’t formally recognized by APO (authorized personnel only, the spy agency) but they do have access to all information because of a backdoor Sloane made
- So I guess the name is Sloane
- Anyways, X goes on the black ops of black ops, typically with either mercenaries or no back-up at all
- Thus trust issues and like the opposite of dependency - they have so much trouble asking for things but are willing to help anyone or offer material assistance - if they have it
- X is nonbinary and really doesn’t have any preferences on pronouns, as long as they aren’t he/him or she/her
- They’re also autistic and shut down if there’s too much loud noise or if they’re just too tired for some reason - sometimes this means going nonverbal or just Not Functioning and their favorite way to feel better is to sit on the ground, wrap themselves in a blanket and listen to music - so in conclusion they don’t really use guns unless there’s a silencer, and they aren’t v good with them
- A huge part of their espionage function is language!
- They speak German, Spanish, Japanese, FSL, and ASL all idiomatically
- They also speak Russian, French, and Afrikaans, but not fluently
- They can swear and count to ten in Korean and Czech
- They’re pursuing a PhD in computational linguistics, though APO gets in the way
- They’re 24, and have a bizarre set of skills because both of their job, previous jobs and jobs they hold as a cover to pretend they pay their taxes, and special interests
- Sloane is only 7 years older than them, and recruited X out of high school
- At first it was small things, like ‘pick up this book from Elm Street and drop it at Main’ but it got bigger after they graduated
- When X turned 18, they went through formal training - protocol, combat, and analysis
- They’d done some martial arts before hand, but not much punching, mostly kicking, throws, and staffs (5 and 6 feet)
- X’s main job is to clean up messy situations, usually by stealing things or extractions, and their own ops are less combat oriented than the clean ones
- X is not the best at math, not by a long shot, but they can see patterns from a mile away
- “I am the fact guardian, guardian of the facts!” “Puzzles quiver before them!” “FUCK OFF”
- They do simple division when bored and solve a lot of math things by finding patterns and using them
- X is both their designation in the agency (as in ‘x factor’) and their actual name- they use an alias for college
- They live with a few people, most of whom complain at their erratic sleep schedule and ask that please, for the love of god, X gets sleep meds and just a solid 8 hours, for once
- Sloane eventually sends X on an op to extract Mel, Sloane’s girlfriend and top operative
- X doesn’t know what to tell Mel, so mostly they just tell them that things will be answered later
- Mel asks Sloane, who reluctantly explains X’s role, and this sets some things into motion of X eventually being brought into the spotlight
- They have several hearings about their activities
- Eventually, Seville (who runs things? I guess) tells them to carry on as they do, reporting directly to Sloane, but they are recognized now by the APO
- There are three other things I want to fit in:
- Goes missing for [period of time], leaving a very close friend behind, comes back after being presumed dead and no memories, apparently solved a conspiracy and now has many illegal friends who all enjoy thievery
- Magic is a thing (because it wouldn’t be my words if it wasn’t lmao) and common enough that people know it exists but rare enough that it’s kinda intimidating and sometimes people will freak out about it, despite plenty of people having it.
X has/develops magic at some point but is terrified to tell anyone and tries to hide it from their team (which is now their family, love that trope) because they don’t want to be barred from the APO, but it comes out accidentally during a mission
- X’s infodumping saves the day somehow
The Celestian
- K so this is more about an organization, but the Celestian lives in a like a 1920s fantasy setting and likes dancing
- They run a social activism group masquerading as a crime network that uses queer bars and stuff as fronts
- To get money, they dance competitively with their bodyguard and d8m8, the BFF (butch femme fatale) who identifies as a nb lesbian
- To get into any of the places where actual political dismantling and activism happens, who have to have very specific patterns on your nails - nail painting is a method of communication and is also a huge teambuilding exercise
- There are different codes for everything
- When cops try and get in (they can only find the places if they have a member of the Queer Folk), the code is “blue denim” and then the person caught tells the police they need nail polish and then laugh as they get caught, as if they were bullshitting the whole thing
- Other things are called “10:50 am” which looks like a sleepy eye
- Or “songbird rhapsody” which is also a popular song that the Celestian sings at clubs
- Or “money” which is just a green splotch on all the nails
- If you’re a member of the Queer Folk, you get a crate monthly of money and nail polish, and special things on birthdays and holidays
- The Queer Folk do everything from organize protests to take kids in and try to pay for their education through crime - as in robbery from different places
- Their crimes always have a certain flair to them - they value creativity and snazziness
- The Celestian is like 5’ 3” (which, to be fair, is 3 inches taller than I am) and the BFF picks them up a lot
- They don’t like alcohol or caffeine but drink herbal tea 24/7
- If they don’t, something is very, very wrong
- They have a prosthetic leg
Red
- Literally in high school
- A warlock! They traded their gender and all “gender identifying features” to a trans demon for magic powers
- The demon mostly asks them to get coffee and stuff because the demon isn’t very good at bargaining and just wanted Red’s gender, but it’s expected of a patron to keep using the warlock for things
- (on the demon phone) “hey so this is super duper important and if you could get it in the next half hour that’s the best thing”
“what is it”
“alright so go to the corner of Lincoln and Greenleaf, turn three times to your right, once to your left, and a door should open behind you. Don’t try to turn towards it, just fall backwards”
“if I fall onto poison ivy or concrete I’m breaking my fucking contract”
“No, no no no, you’ll appear in that good good heaven spot”
“… the coffee shop?”
- Red focuses on science in their school
- Every interaction is a deal. E V E R Y I N T E R A C T I O N
- Breakfast? “I’ll give you the salt if you hand over the pancakes”
- Entering a building? “Hold the door open and I’ll give you praise”
- School? “You want me to tell you what I do in my spare time? Give me an A on my midterm and I’ll tell you”
- The last one has left a lot of teachers confused and more than a little scared of the silly little nerd in their class
- Honestly, they have straight A’s because they make deal after deal about grades. They never cheat on tests, but they make deals, hold people to them, and know what they’re doing
- Red’s demon is getting a little worried with all the deals
- Red is most accustomed to deals rather than anything else because they think that unequal exchange (i.e., gifts) is really suspect
- That said, Red has no problems altering “equal” exchange to benefit them
- If they ever became a business owner, they would be terrifying
- They want everything to turn out the best it can for every one but… are not fans of laws
- They have many Opinions on law, its enforcement, and the government
- That cousin that will tell you constantly about how the government is corrupt and should be rebooted with the youngest people as the primary interest
- Anarchy? Not quite, but revolution? Most definitely
- No angst, just high school silliness and chaos
- Has no idea what’s going on 90% of the time - a kid on a sportsball team did something amazing, people started treating him like shit for adults liking him, and Red had no idea until like 3 months later
- Red just kinda lives in their head
- Did they hear what you just said? Nah, but they sure did hear that wristwatch every time it clicked on the second.
- Likes the sound of adventure, but mostly gets lost in Ikea and makes deals with the eldritch monsters in the mattress section
- SUCH A SHITTY SENSE OF DIRECTION, COULD GET LOST IN A GRID WITH MAPS AT EVERY INTERSECTION
- Charismatic, but mostly in the sense of lying their ass off and persuading people
- Once tried to go a day without making a deal (on a dare), ended by making a deal to not have to ever do that again
- Businesses both hate and love them - they pay for nothing but will bargain away odd things of equivalent value every time and catch shoplifters, dislikes shoplifters because it’s not a fair trade
- Bizarrely good luck with finding things in pockets, particularly to “pay” for things
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judaphotography · 4 years ago
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An exploration of who has the right to judge art
Art is a vast topic that can span across different mediums, context, and expression. It is equally a form of expression as it is execution, which makes it seemingly subjective. However, art does have guidelines and patterns, which create what people class as good or bad art. This creates an apparent correct way art should be viewed and how it should be judged. This essay will be exploring who has the right to make those judgments. 
When judging art and it's worth and quality there is a  consensus of what to evaluate. When looking at judgement criteria from art competitions like LightSpaceTime’s we can see that the standard for art being judged is “Interpretation and the clarity of the theme to the viewer. Creativity and originality of the depicted theme. Quality of artistic composition and overall design based on the theme. Overall impression of the art.” With looking at other competitions, criteria art critiques use and educated views of what makes good art, for instance examples from the art of education university and interviews with artists,  we can see an emerging pattern that context, technique, concept, and originality are the qualities in which we base art. Li Hongbo has said “My artistic creation has lots of themes… I want to change the image, change how people see things so they think in another way, and more deeply.” In response to what makes good art, supporting the idea that good art needs to be original and have meaning. 
However, John Baldessari’s photographic series “Wrong” challenges the idea of what art needed to be to be good. He took the traditional “rules” within the art world and decided to create pieces that challenged them. The series is a collection of images paired with text, the most famous being entitled wrong, which is an unfocussed poorly composed image of a man with text that says wrong underneath. Baldessari created these pieces because he wanted to convey that we do not have to conform to traditional qualities in art for it to be good; art doesn’t have to be judged, and when talking about work he has said “You don't want anyone to say 'You can't do that!' But you do get a lot of that in New York. One of the healthiest things about California is - 'Why not”.Baldessari made his art for himself and because he wanted to, but through that has become a renowned conceptual artist. From the series  we can see there are exceptions to what people class as good art and although Baldessari’s series is not technically good it still meets the criteria of being original and being rich in context.
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The museum of bad art is a place showcasing “bad art” “since 1994,The museum of bad art has been dedicated to bad art… our mission; to bring the worst of art to the widest of audiences” Obviously the art which they showcase is bad; like the painting Eyes see you by F.W Covington which is paired with the interpretation “The artist has effectively portrayed life-sized pairs of disembodied eyes on a flame-red background; some staring straight ahead while others glance left or right. They are realistic and iconic in their simplicity.” by Holly Maxson. By this description alone we can estimate the technique is not good with use of effectively as a descriptor conveys a standard skill level. Also the meaning wouldn’t appear complex or profound, as they are just eyes. Perhaps art that lacks these two characteristics are what we as a collective deem bad art. 
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The difference between these two works purely lies on the intent behind them. Both are technically bad, however Baldessari’s piece was created for the intent to challenge why? So as people judging art it is not all about the physicality of it but equally the context. Without context both would be seen as bad art, but this idea of contextual knowledge revises its worth, causing the idea of elitism within art as you need to have context to fully enjoy it. 
Antonio Houmen, former art director of the Sonnabend Gallery has said “The definition of art will change and who it can be judged by will change also.Video art was popularised in the 1970’s but made people question if it was art.  Every time art takes a form people don't recognize, they ask ''Is that art?”. Houmen expostulates the idea that art is one thing, the idea that art is stagnant is incorrect and the idea that the merits of what art is and who judges it needs to be inconstant. The idea that art is really integrated into current culture and is ever changing is not a new premise, and how art can also influence and change society around us.
The recent social isolation is proof of how integrated art is into mundane things, as many people have been turning to comforts like television and video games, subtly depending on the artists which have created them. “ That is just the reason why art is so valuable! While art may not be vital to fulfill our basic needs, it does make life joyful. When you look at a painting or poster you’ve chosen to hang on your living room wall, you feel happy. ...These varieties of art forms that we are surrounded by all come together to create the atmosphere that we want to live in, which is personable to us.” Due to art having a natural comfort, it becomes every day. 
In Neil Gaiman's book “Art matters” he talks about how art is created to challenge the current system and possibly change it, ““I believe you have the absolute right To think things that I find offensive, stupid, preposterous or dangerous, and they have the right to speak and write or distribute these things ”.If art is so integrated into society it should be those who have the right to judge it.
Some believe that it is only the right of an artist to judge their work. Many artists themselves believe that only they have the right to judge their own work, such as Jenny Holzer, an neo-conceptual artist. “The artist is someone who can judge the art as they are the only one that truly knows the art.” “I think you can rely on the artist's representation; he or she would have no reason to lie.” showing us that the intent is what artwork is truly about not the finished content, and by this only the person that created the work can know the true meaning. Carrying on from this Robert Hughs, an art critic said “As far as I am concerned, something is a work of art if it is made with the declared intention to be a work of art and placed in a context where it is seen as a work of art. That does not determine whether it is esthetically rich or stupidly banal.” Anyone can have an opinion on a piece and see it how they wish, however, the process of art relies on the artist having intent and judgment, and therefore can be the only opinion that matters.
The case of Beau Stanton’s Eva Gardner mural, shows the two sides of an artist being responsible for the art. Many people found the artwork offensive and wanted it removed from Koreatown L.A, as the background offended korean activists as the sunray pattern is similar to the japanese imperial flag. Stanton has said he created the mural as “ a homage to the Cocoanut Grove’s Hollywood history”  artists like Shepard Fairey have said “ It’s not the same color scheme. It’s not the same focal element. It’s stupid to me.” and he finds it a form of censorship and threatened to remove his mural of Richard F Kenedy. Eventually the mural was removed showing that people see the judgment of others and how they see work, is more important to the public than the intent of the artist. 
Many people within art academia believe that to truly judge art you need to be educated within it, for example Robert Rosenblum, former Professor of art history, New York University; curator at the Guggenheim Museum said “But there has to be consensus about good art among informed people -- artists, dealers, curators, collectors. Somebody has to be the first to say something is good”, and William Rubin former Director emeritus of painting and sculpture, Museum of Modern Art said “There's a consensus as to what is art in most periods, but it's not made by the man on the street. It is formed by those deeply concerned with the substance of art.” “There is no single definition of art that's universally tenable. Cultures without even a word for art nevertheless produced great art”. Implying art is more than an aesthetic but also a history and something deeply contextual, so for a person to truly be able to judge art and see what it is you must be educated and know these histories. Regardless, some people and artists see this as a classist belief that to be an artist means you need to be educated and pay for that right through education.
“ Art has landed in many more households and in the awareness of many more people than ever before. You could argue that because art is so ubiquitous it is even harder to make judgments.”Philippe De Montebello former Director, Metropolitan Museum of Art. Undeniably art is a part of everyone's lives, especially with growing use of social media, and as everyone has access to art they have the right to judge it, and every opinion is correct, as art is an experience that can only be felt by oneself. When forming an opinion on art we look at our past experiences with the outside world, as well as other art we have viewed,due to the omnipresence of art through televisions, phones and even mundane objects like tea towels there is such a diversity of experience, which no two people would share. Combined with the independent experience of living no two people would see art as truly the same. Therefor claiming one to be more important holds judgements of  others, and arguably holds ideas of classism. 
I created a survey of my peers, many of which are artists from different backgrounds, which use different mediums. As in theory any question can be asked but that doesn’t take into account the reality of theoretical questions, and that there are artists who will all have a say and view on art judgment. When asked “Do you feel your art practice and art knowledge has grown with more experience creating or with education?” 50% of people said it was a mixture of both creation and education. “My art knowledge has grown through education, but my art practice has definitely just grown through creating” artists can see that there are two sides to art: a creative and educated side, which both can grow over time and make people better artists. Assumably there is the belief that some art knowledge is inherit, as 100% of the artists believed that they can judge art and 50% unprompted said that it is possible for everyone to judge art. While others say they have bias’ to certain art but can still judge it, however, it is just as possible for the bias’ to come from education therefore making the judgment more correct, which is highlighted by one of the responses when asked if they can judge art; “ Everyone can. Its a visual platform and everyone is going to have a response. But there is a moral line where some people either have no knowledge or too much and their opinions can be a bit out of place” implying that everyone can judge art but some people have more of a right to judge. 
When asked if they believe if art has a set meaning, all of those questioned said no. Clearly showing that art is meant for other people to view and not just the artist “I don't think so, even if the artist makes it with an intended meaning, whenever it is viewed the meaning is shaped by the viewer's life experience and perspective. It can also vary with context”, “There's an intended meaning but unlimited meanings beyond that”. Many artists are open to the idea that their art can have multiple meanings, as the context of the viewer is what really creates the meaning of an image; supporting the theory that everyone can bring judgement and meaning to art.
Seemingly artists tend to view art as something anyone can find meaning and context in and rightfully so if the piece brings emotions. Yet see judgment as something different but still crucial to the process.  Overall “It is in the sense that every time someone views art that are making some kind of judgement or critique automatically, but I don't think it always has to be formalised, or that certain judgements should be considered more important than others just because of someone's status.” summarises the view on art judgment from practitioners. Judgment is a part of art, or judgment is a part of humans, either way it will naturally occur when looking at a piece of work. The judgment is not what we should be questioning but, who and why and what are people judging and being able to see people's views without the elitist ideology of certain people having a more correct opinion, but rather an equality of views. 
When looking at “Who can judge art” we do not take into account the process of art and the fact that judgment is a part of it. When deciphering “what is art?” in his book “How art can be thought: a handbook for change” Desouza argues that art can be whatever the artist makes. He proposes that art is created by two things, prior to the art being made. There is a proposal then an action and then an object.Then after the art is created it has to create a conversation, not for it to be art but for it to be profitable art. “But more importantly art is a conversation.” If we look at art as a non verbal form of communication, then the judgment and perceptions are a part of it as a language, the nature of art is to talk about it. Which can be related to the idea that educated and experienced artists could be held to higher regard in their opinion as they can “speak art” better as they have a richer context and understanding. However, the idea that art should or can only be judged by a certain type of person rather than everyone, is absurd as judgment is clearly a part of art,as much as it is a part of humans.
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how-mom-died-blog · 5 years ago
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Who’ll Chop Your Suey When I’m Gone?
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When I was a young Steve, taking Tae Kwon Do lessons in Sacramento, our Sabumin (Teacher/Father) was fond of saying “we do not teach chop suey here.” By this, he meant that the discipline he taught was a pure tradition, unadulterated and unchanged for thousands of years. Other schools might teach different variants of fighting techniques, bringing flavors from different disciplines into the mix, but he saw this as a weakened art form and was proud to teach a fighting art that could be traced back 2,000 years to ancient Soo Bak.
I don’t know if that’s where my prejudice against all kinds of metaphorical “chop suey” originates, but I carry it to this day. It took me years to warm up to the idea of a “Korean taco”, and I am still loath to accept a Chinese restaurant with teriyaki on the menu. I don’t know why I’m such a cultural purist when it comes to food, and it doesn’t seem fair considering my own hapa blood. 
When it comes to spirituality though, I lean hard in the opposite direction. It feels like virtually every religion with fundamentalist tendencies has a reputation for being savage and corrupt, infringing on the basic rights of humankind. These days it feels like letting go of tradition is the only way to be truly compassionate and inclusive. How many times have you heard someone say “well I’m a Christian BUT I don’t take this part of the bible literally?” It seems like the only way to be truly compassionate in this world is to allow your eternal soul a little room for experimentation. 
My own spiritual stance is a chop suey blend of Buddhism, Taoism, Quantum Physics, Chaos Magick, and Shamanism. I have taken Ayahuasca, I read Tarot, I make sigils, and I quote The Matrix frequently when talking about the divine nature of reality. The Matrix is a great entry point for talking about Buddhist principles with people. People let their guard down when you don’t come in hot with the deities, right out of the gate. I don’t even like using the word “god” anymore. By simply using the word “universe,” I can convey the same meaning without immediately charging a conversation with emotional conflict.
For that reason, I was disappointed yesterday while listening to the audiobook of Life Lessons, by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler. I was really digging the lessons until they started throwing around the capital g-word. By using that word, it felt like the lessons were suddenly made less accessible to everyone, and that is a shame. 
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It reminded me a bit of Alcoholics Anonymous and their traditional emphasis on religion. In recent years, they have realized the need to appeal to nonreligious people in recovery, who might variously describe themselves as agnostics, atheists, humanists or freethinkers. As the humanist movement in the United States continues to grow, we need to evolve our various forms of help, accordingly.
The lessons learned from the thought and study of death are inherently compassionate and teach acceptance of ourselves and of others. In 2020, it almost feels counterproductive to apply the g-word so frequently throughout a book like Life Lessons. Maybe someone can do a find/replace on the word and create a new edition of the book for this decade. 
To close the loop on this meandering train of thought, I’m officially changing my rigid philosophical stance on chop suey. To hell with tradition. Let’s mix it up and find what works for us, as individuals. How can I hate on a ramen burger while simultaneously extolling the virtues of interfaith dialogue? As long as it tastes good and feels right, so be it. And when I die, please play this song at my funeral:
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