#i know a lot of ppl like him but he was kinda just a guy i liked in high school inserted into a fic and i've moved way the hell on since
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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well that was….. A Movie
#i have too many thoughts. unfortunately#its kinda hard to see this so long after it came out bc the humor feels soooo mid 2010’s and its debatable how well its aged#all i know is personally i feel like the dc mvoie#*dc movies have done a better job in recent years doing this specific r rated humor focused anti hero stuff#also like i for one love a comedy and love things having a humorous streak#but this is like a really standard grey action#*movie but then it puts all the humor on one character and that doesnt worklike at all lmao#like the really good parts are when hes with the other 2 funny characters (the bartender and the old lady)#they also like didnt do enough at all with lampooning superhero tropes? like at all???#it would have been so easy to have a standard superhero#movie but just lampoon it the whole time and instead they just… had that movie and like idk#fmcndkfndk like???#one of the few saving graces was in universe acknowledging that deadpool is annoying lol#but yeah generally it had a lot of ELEMENTS of good stuff just. not mixed well together#this truly is the granddaddy of reddit movie tho#like its not le epic win bacon bc thats more early 2010.#this is like. those milennial cookbooks that are hiphopified by just adding swear words. for some reason#torn bc i feel like i should judge ppl for this being so popular but im like not surprised that it would have mass appeal#on the surface i get the appeal of ‘a superhero BUT HE CURSES OOOOH’ and just generally taking things less seriously#it just sucks that the entire rest of the movie takes itself perfectly seriously#but not enough to have weird little annoying plot holes#also cant rly judge the guy who said he loved these movies hes a nerdy 38 yr old mild mannered white man. this was made for him.#this is elder milennial dadsk Wells For Boys
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What if I uhhh
What if I shared some stuff here about my Invincible OC(s) what then :0
nothing art related or anything (I can NOT draw ppl for the life of me) and I’m a bit nervous to share my art here but maybe just some basic info and rambles here and there :3
#I think I’ve shared about my main OC with like two ppl idkkk#I tend to ramble a lot but I’m not very active on here#and I’m a bit anxious with sharing my thoughts and ocs :/#hhhh I really want to though there’s so many cool ppl on here with super awesome ocs#feel like I’m just kinda holding my guy like a lost kitten idk what to do with him but we’re chilling#I love him SM though he’s sooo silly (he is going through it)#IDK WHERE IM GOING EITH THESE TAGS ANWAY-#invincible oc#maybe#who knows at this point bajshahdhja
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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good
#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man#i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault#ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever#but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's#depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way#i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but#i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being#suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways#but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to#act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand#idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that#getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh#besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks#ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru#til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking#but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort#the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done
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peak dash tonight but i gtg do like. something productive
#none of this info is important i'm just chatting w you guys. into the void#actually i haven't been updating you guys on rascal i am living with him now it's great#he's obsessed with drinking the turtle water though (not dribble my foster turtle my roommate has her own)#but he recognized me and likes me ummm better than anyone i try to introduce him to lol#which makes sense but still. :)#he's bigger now he's like a teenager or something and he's mellowed out a lot#but i definitely am still a bit scratched up bc he is NOT good at communicating his feelings!!#im getting better at it but he will pivot so hard and fast it's wild#anwyay he's sweet and he still likes sleeping on my neck#just about every day he'll see that i'm lying down and curl up on my sternum it's terribly cute#but he doesn't seem to find my lap or laptop nearly as interesting as before. maybe when it gets colder outside idk#things have been great and silly and scary only in brief and also jsut so much like guys imTIRED of [university name] giving me bullshit#why can't things go smoothly like ever why is every minor process breaking down at every stage#but whatever. anyway i've had my japanese i class twice and the first time was so so scary bc APPARENTLY im surrounded by ppl who've been#self-teaching for years (i was mistaken about this btw) and also speaking is scary ok. today was good bc i misunderstood smth and#kinda studied the entire unit in advance. so i was like GOOD and prepared y'know. easy and now i know my strategy going forward lol
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i have literally no idea how mangaka come up with shit for anniversary short stories bc there's always an expectation that you have to feature the mains in a 10 years later sort of thing while not making it feel too different from the original
in the meantime, if you give a little love is having its 10 anniversary this week and here i am, vaguely wanting to go back on fimfic to write an anni oneshot and sprouting up ideas about every character except coco and babs
#fanfiction#alexandria rambles#if you give a little love#the obvious answer would be scene proposing to coco but i have like no motivation to write scene/coco anymore#i know a lot of ppl like him but he was kinda just a guy i liked in high school inserted into a fic and i've moved way the hell on since#my major idea so far is finally doing the suri/sugar belle sister meetup i wanted to do forever#or maaaaybe another part of rotten oranges or something else with valencia#but i have no inspiration for babs/coco/scene and i've since accepted that i use mosely as a crutch for when that happens#i fr would just have an emergency 'mosely starts more shit' button and i've moved past the need to push it#my post
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no seriously where did the 'dirk strider is a transmed/is transphobic' thing come from and also can we leave it behind already
#caw caw#its especially grating when hes hc'd as a trans man and/or is the only hc'd trans man within the kids cause its like.#i dunno it just feels bad. ive gotta stay off for you pages that shit is Not for me#also yes i have read and like the epilogues. i saw him being surprised about tboy roxy but not transphobic#i saw him slipping up in a normal way but that also isnt transphobia. he also cant see inside roxy's head#like he can with everyone else bc of roxy's aspect so he *genuinely* didnt know rox's internal processes or any kinda changes#he swaps pronouns for roxy at some point bc its implied that tboy roxy doesnt happen as often across timelines#so he defaults to she/her for us the readers for simplicity and imo bc most ppl still use she/her for roxy anyway#thats how i see it anyway. the fandom doesnt even like tboy roxy but he only ever comes up for transmed-dirk#which just feels weird and bad yknow. feels kinda puppet-y. bdumtiss#like i just dont think the guy who said he doesnt even deserve to die next to roxy would do that to him i truly dont#i think a lot of people have an uncharitable view of dirk bc they keep conflating him with bro when#that is NOT the point and wasnt the the point of the striunion or anything wrt paradox clones#bro is bro. we dont know why he is the way he is#but there was also absolutely NOTHING to imply that bro was transphobic. thats pure fanlore and most likely projection#projection isnt bad i need to say. but it is when it cements itself into fanlore and then fanlore changes our view of canon#the point of dirk strider is that he loves. he has a whole ass heart right on his chest for fucks sake#he is literally and figuratively wearing his heart outside of his chest for everyone to see#our t
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Realizing the adultification and demonization of Duke and Damian is just. Not gonna stop. El oh el
#demonization more in Damian’s case#and not in the characters can’t do bad things kinda way#but in a writers and readers are so racist they’ll never even acknowledge that they don’t grant him the same grace they do anyone else#especially their white faves in comparison#and with the way they keep tryna spin Ra’s and Talia as being like. perfect parents maybe slightly absent or evil back then but family ppl#at heart it’s just gonna be more excuses to demonize a brown child bc now the very basis of his previous attitude will be gone#i mean for some of you it was never existed or acknowledged but there’s a certain bitterness I’m feeling when y’all can point to a panel#written by someone who’s only read WFA for background and say ‘see its canon that he’s just a murderous asshole for no reason!’#same mfs who can’t tell me three bad things Tim’s done that they don’t fw bc either they’ve never read it or they justify it in their minds#and for Duke it’s like. just removing every aspect of his character bc god forbid u pay attention to a black child who’s not an easy stereo#that’s the difference Damian’s early appearance was very easy for a lot of y’all to stereotype even and at times especially Talia Stans#for Duke u can’t call him ghetto and u can’t call him one of the good ones bc there’s no ‘bad’ ones as a comparison point so he’s just a guy#he’s a good bro :) he’s there :) u don’t know enough about him to speak :)#and honestly if they keep going down the Al Ghuls are perfect route they might shoehorn Damian near that position too#that’d make it three for three when you involve cass. wow the poc of the family being reduced to no character besides propping up the yt#cast. maybe if we go that route and it happens to all three of them some of y’all will make a ‘fandom has a problem 🥺’ post and dip#like always el oh el so exhausted#batfandom racism#tim drake#jason Todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#Lemme be a bitch today#Duke cass and Damian Stan’s I won’t clog ur dash with this#actually some of u cass Stan’s are….#I’ll just say it a lot of you are racist as fuck and can’t say shit about cass besides she fights good and deserves the world#batfam#wfa#anti wfa
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im thinking about that stupid twink elf again and crying and throwing up
drawing some hot fanart of leonard tho (soon to be revealed..........) so it's okay :)))) (<- liar) good night
#drakengard#drakengard 2#yaha Drakengard#gu6chan's musings#a LOT of ppl especially in the west don't know his story and guys .........#GUYS.........#IT'S SO UGHHHHHHHHHH *Bangs head against the wall throws up explodes*#did you know the really neat picture of his death is called 'End of Suffering'???? DO U KNOW WHY#ASK ME ABOUT YAHA I KNOW HIS STORY AND I WILL TELL IT TO YOU#because when you hear urick shrug him off???? WHEN YOU HEAR HIM COMMENT ABOUT HIS PERFECT BODY AND THEN SAY#'MY BEAUTY; IT IS MY SIN' AND THEN HIS MAKING PEACE WITH IT LAST SECOND SAYING AUGHHHHB I'M LOSING MY MIND#context makes you KINDA understand urick but also#you'll want to slap him SO bad after omg#yaha was a victim and if his fight wasn't so awful and homophobia-inducing it'd make me want to DIE#since he was a little baby boy he's been dealing with shit..... please if any Drakengard 2 fans want to know about lore?#ask me about it#but most importantly#ask me about yaha because once you have the goods on him you'll want to throw up and rip yourself into tiny little pieces#just like me!!!!!!!!!!! any yaha fans out there im crying to the heavens ......#i have a lot of fanart i need to share about him lmao
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I love how Bob said that the difference between Jimmy and Saul wasn't conning and fast talking. That's all Jimmy, he says, he's been doing that since he was a kid. The difference is that Saul is when he became completely aware of all the consequences and decided not to care.
#better call saul#jimmy mcgill#saul goodman#i think its very interesting bc no scams isnt his lesson#in fact he kinda scams his way to redemption in the most earnest and genuine way imaginable#i just loved that bc i think it really genuinely puts the character in a different perspective#bc hes the same guy. hes flashy and obnoxious and can talk anybody out of anything and that is not the difference between saul and jimmy#kim isnt still on the dark side bc she uses her bar card to get into the prison#jimmys lesson is to look the people you hurt in the eyes and make amends.#his skills are his own but what he chooses to do with them and how he responds to that is whats important#my jimmy....#i love him#he said it on the podcast and it made me so happy bc the writers seemed surprised too#same when rhea got mad when vince said that kim was mad when ppl tell her jimmys not good for her#rhea was like kims a grown ass woman capable of making her own choices and shes not internally conflicted that other people might be right#nobody needs to save her bc she obviously knows her own relationship better than anybody and she doesnt need ppl telling her whats best#anyway i love them a lot.
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I think we should give Zora a gun and whatever happens to the Shadow Decree happens
#dislyte#Listen I'm going to be honest. I like a lot of shadow Decree characters. But also.#Given the chance I would kill them off in story because of how much I hate them.#Mainly the fact a good chunk of them are like. Okay with child murder? Like hello#The union 100% deserves criticism (hi Luo Yan the cop who got fired bc he thought the law was beneath him what's up w u being here) and#Tiye's story is. Whoooo boy. The union definitely has An Interest In Branding#But again. Orphanage burning was A Thing That Happened#And ofc there's the meta view of like... What are the bad guys ideals? Are they only evil bc they're extreme? And I try 2 keep that in mind#But like the Shadow Decree is kinda... Just full of selfish people. Ofc some ppl are more sympathetic but all of them Are Selfish#Honestly Bonnie is like the only one who stands out to me as like... Yeah the union failed her community and she's rightfully mad#Most of the others lost like. One person either to the union or just thought the shadow Decree would let them get revenge and#It's a case by case thing like some of them probably feel like they have nowhere else to go and that's understandable but the initial#Actions they took were selfish and I feel like dislyte puts too much into making the characters surface level sympathetic (Ophelia) rather#Than grappling with if they view themselves as good people or if they're disappointed in themselves or if they don't care#(forgot to say earlier Jiang Jiuli n Jiang Man r valid in hatred though like the union directly fucked them over and it's understandable#That they fucking hate them so like it's more grey)#(also this is why like... Nicole n Cecilia r some of my faves they don't give a shit they just wanna fuck stuff up and I can respect that)#And Catherine is actually well done because she's full of hatred and even if she has soft moments shes just. Mean as hell!#LYNN I love Lynn but girl you know about the orphanage burning right???? Right???????#Anyway how well known is the burning of the union? Iirc it was both the HQ and the Orphanage so do ppl only know abt the HQ or both or????#Anyway the union is flawed but trying unaffiliated espers are similar and the shadow Decree is 90% people who are selfish and toxic and#Really fucking annoying. I fucking hate Ophelia so much you have no idea I want to throw bricks at her.#Anyways Zora is the best character and deserves free therapy and a lifetime supply or tiramisu and a gun#JASPER TRIED TO FUCK W THE UNION WITHOUT JOINING YHE CHILD MURDER ORGINIZATION
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man, anet really wants ppl to forget about trahearne. His memorial statue is up and out of the way, the colors of it blend in with the scenery too well...... i literally had no idea he actually HAD a statue (when i was doing the knight of thorn sidequest i never noticed it despite it being right there) idk i just feel like they did trahearne dirty 😔
#i know a lot of ppl hated trahearne (kinda like they hate braham now) and complained about how he was a bad character#and it's like. buddy. just because u don't vibe with a character doesn't necessarily mean they're badly written#and in some cases ur not supposed to vibe with them on purpose!!#like (again) with braham. you're /supposed/ to be upset/hurt with him during those story arcs. that's the /point/.#but with trahearne a lot of ppl are like 'well he doesn't actually do anything :/'#and i'm so sorry y'all never developed critical thinking or object permanence or whatever#because there's such a thing as 'things are happening offstage that you the audience will not see but they are very much going on'#also i WILL think ur the guy who literally lost his gf to trahearne if i hear any complaints about him lmao#gw2#guild wars 2#gonna stop now before i ramble anymore#also im so sorry about the lighting RIP
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.
#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long????#i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again#it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else !#now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from#and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk#or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose#i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it#i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life#i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me#i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all#i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have#<-going insane#anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship#anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do#good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post#ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with#[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!]#and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me#and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this--#that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle#vent
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really gotta get around to drawing widow some more bc im getting ideas for her (sad)
#specifically abt sectonia's corruption bc like... oh what if she witnesses sectonia consuming someone else for their beauty#and shes HORRIFIED bc this is not the sectonia she knows and fell in love with....#idk if taranza will know abt that bc tbh... idk him knowing abt that but only fighting against sectonia once she lashes out at him#feels kinda odd to me#but i dont wanna be like ''oh he was an innocent baby who never knew how bad it was'' either#my perception of him is like. he was very very deeply in denial for a lot of it and helped her out still#because like. hey shes the queen! the queen is always right! and shes my friend. my closest friend who i grew up with#she wouldnt act this way without a reason right?#i cant go against her; shes my friend; i love her; she wouldn't do that; if she did then she probably had a good reason#oh sure its not GREAT that she wants me to kidnap this guy but he was going to meddle with her! hes only here bc of those fairies!#and those fairies are just being disobedient and disrespectful to her! shes our queen! you cant go against her!#so they deserve to be locked up and this guy needs to be taken care of so she isnt disturbed!! we're right!!#basically hes a doormat and not good with his moral backbone when it comes to ppl he cares abt#echoed voice
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