#and then he kept joking about how he was going to kill my gf for making him do that which was. deeply uncomfortable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaos-grimlin · 1 year

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Uh SCREAM SIX SPOILERS

Hi there! Can I request a Randy scenario where his gf or s/o reader goes through the same thing Anika does in Scream Six with the ladder and even the same kinda wound before the ladder and Randy is in the other building with Dewey Gale and Sid thank you

Finally I seen scream 6 so I can do this!!

Warning: kinda a scream 6 Spoiler

Pairing: Randy and Fem! Girlfriend reader

I changed it up slightly and this takes place during scream two...why....idk I just got the feeling...

Try not to fall (Randy meeks and Fem! Reader)

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

INTRO: No one thought they'd find themselves in this situation....one where they were running for their lives from a deranged murder who taunted them for weeks...killing off their friends and family one...by..one.

After the first accident that left them all scared and fearful they moved..well...Randy, Sidney and Y/n moved.

They moved for collage and mostly to get away from Woodsboro for a bit, so maybe the could forget their past...but their past seemed to follow them close behind...

Soon, nights were filled with blood and massacre...hinting to a new ghostface killer...

News spread quickly through their town and woodsboro...everyone read the books and watched the movies..so the town grew eager and almost...sickly excited for a new killer..but the news struck worry in some...including Dewey riley...the sheriff of woodsboro that survived being Stabbed in the back by Stu macher.

Dewey was quick to make his way to sidney, randy, and Y/n...but..their meeting was nothing like how they planned it to be...

It was late at night...10:37 to be exact, and there was a faint knock on the door that made all the young adults jump fear and PTSD filling their bodies to the brim.

But their fear melted when they saw the soft smile that Dewey gave them through the small window.

Once the door was open the started chatting...but none of them cared to check if it was locked..

As they sat there catching up, laughing and talking, seeming to forget about the problem at hand..someone had snuck in....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

^^^Y/n P.O.V^^^

I sat on the couch laughing at a joke Dewey had said along with everyone else.. finally I felt... normal...

Since the woodsboro massacre and finding out my bestfriends were the ones behind the masks, I felt like an outcast. I felt the eyes that lingered on me, I heard people whisper about me and what had happened to me..but I always acted like I didn't care..when in reality all I wanted was some comfort with social interactions.

I knew i had Randy..the guy I had started dating only days after the massacre..and he was amazing at helping distract me from it all, but I always ended up back in the dark places that I tried to kept hidden from my brain.

"Y/n..baby...you okay?" Randy's sweet velvety voice rang through my ears as I felt him wrap a arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to his side.

"Yeah I'm good!" I say flashing a smile as I nuzzled up to his side.

"Hold on..when did you two become a thing?" Dewey teased as a smile broke out onto his face

"Oh a few days after..ya know" Randy muttered

As soon as those words left his lips I stood up "ima go get a drink" and at that, I walked off, feeling those thoughts rise into my skull once again.

I walked to the fridge, rubbing my eyes..but then..a feeling bubbled up into my gut..the feeling of being watched...

I looked around almost frantically, my eyes dashing around too fast for me to comprehend anything.

"Dewey! Randy! Sidney! I think someone's-" as those words left my lips

In a swift motion a figure emerged from the dark hallway infront of me, impailing my lower stomach with a knife.

I felt pain..nothing but pain corsing through ever inch of my body.

A scream forced its self out of my throat as the person started dragging the knife upwards.

All i could focus on was the pain..all the pain the spread...the pain the intensified...causing me to scream louder.. and all I could look at was the blacked out eyes of the mask

I didn't notice when everyone come rushing in till shots were fired causing the masked person to pull the knife out of my slit stomach and bolt into the darkness.

I gasped for air as I fell to the floor, clutching my stomach as if trying to keep my organs from spilling out of my body

I cried

I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks as Randy was quick to loop his arm around me, pulling me up.

I howled in agony and pure pain.

I clenched my jaw tightly and kept my hand over my stomach, whining and crying as Randy kept me up.

"We gotta go!" Sidney yelled

None of them knew how badly I was hurt...

Sidney ran to a nearby bed room and Dewey followed While randy scooped me up in his arms and ran to the room too

Whines of pain escaped my mouth as I felt my precious life fade away

Randy set me on a bed sitting next to me, gently lifting my blood stained shirt..only for his eyes to go wide and he started crying...sobbing while I felt my eyes flutter closed then jolt back open seconds later

We couldn't hide....no way in hell we could..

Dewey and Sidney started to baracade the door as Randy tried to help me..

But all it ened up doing was spreading and spilling more and more blood.

"No no no Y/n! Don't you die! Don't you die on me Y/n!" Randy gasped out as he held his hands tightly onto my stomach

Making me cry harder and let out another scream...

^^^3rd person P.O.V^^^

Dewey rushed to the window and opened it, willing to help everyone out if it wasn't too high...but once he did..he was met with a face he thought he'd never see again...Gale weathers

Gale motioned for Dewey to open the window like she had hers and Dewey compiled.

"That the hell is going on!?" Gale yelled, after hearing Y/ns cries of pain.

Once Gale spoke..someone started banging harshly on the door they had blocked moments ago..

"No time...we're trapped in this room! Y/ns injuried...badly!" He yelled as Sidney pushed on the door, keeping it closed.

"Hold on!" Gale screamed, she always had a soft spot for Y/n that she herself couldn't understand.

Gale rushed to the supply closet in the apartment she was in and then ran back..ladder in hand

"Hurry up Gale!" Randy screamed in panic as he saw Y/n become weaker by the second

Gale extended the ladder and started pushing it out the window till it met the window of the room they were in, Dewey secured the ladder in place.

"Sid you go! I'll hold them off!" Dewey yelled as he and Sidney traded spots

As sidney climbed across the ladder and to the apartment gale was in, Dewey pushed more things infrot of the door as the banging continued but louder.

"Randy go!" Dewey yelled

"I'm not leaving her!" Randy yelled keeping Y/n close

"I'll stay with her randy! Just go!" At that

Randy hesitantly let go of Y/n and went to the window, climbing onto the ladder.

Dewey rushed to y/n side, seeing she was cut deeper then he thought. "Hey hey it's all g..gonna be okay" Dewey whispered as he held Y/ns wound closed and watched Randy climb. Once he was across Dewey got ready to help Y/n over

"Let her go last!" Sidney yelled

"She injured!"she added

Randy looked at Sidney as if she was stupid "that's why we need to get her over!"

"G..go Dewey..s..Sids..right" y/n admitted knowing she wouldn't get across in time.

"As soon as he's halfway you start crawling okay? Okay?!" Randy yelled through tears.

Y/n stood on shakey legs and blood rushed from jer stomach, the banging on the door was more violent by now and some stuff they used to block the door started to fall.

Once Dewey was halfway across Y/n slowly grabbed the ladder and moved onto it, as she did she felt as if all her organs would spill out, leaving jer dead on the ladder.

Dewey was quick to get.fully across while Y/n moved at a slower pace trying not to her herself more or slip since the blood on her hands made the metal slick.

"Fuck!! Hurry Baby hurrry!" Randy screamed out as he watched..but things took a turn for the worst..

The door was busted open and the person dressed as ghostface saw the ladder

Y/n was crying in pain and fear as she tried to move faster, causing herself more pain but it was too late..

Ghostface grabbed the end of the ladder and started moving it violently, causing y/n to scream and clutch onto the metal harder as she tried to cross

"no no! Baby please! Don't fall please!" Randy's cries echoed around her as she held onto the bars screaming as the ghost face moved the ladder more, causing her body to jolt and bounce, her legs slipping.

Yet

As if by merical.. she made it close enough to reach out to Randy

Randy instantly stuck his hand out, trying to grab onto hers as whoever it was kept moving the ladder

"I..I don't wanna die" she cried out as she desperately tried to grab Randy's hand..

Then

Disaster stuck..

Y/n loosened her grip on the ladder as she tried to reach out to Randy and due to this..one last shake of the ladder caused her to slip

Her blood coated hand betrayed her and she lost her grip..and her legs were too weak to hold her up..and she fell.

Her scream echoed through the alleyway and then all was silent other then a sickening sound her skull cracking as it hit the metal dumpster then the hard concrete

Randy froze, his body almost giving out on him as he saw her fall

His whole world died with one fall..

He felt a scream of both anger and sadness leave his lips as he looked at the ghostface with tear filled eyes.

Randy looked at them..he couldn't bring himself to look down at the only lover he had laying on the cold concrete with her head busted open.

Randy wanted to erase the memories off last year and today from his brain and remember his girlfriend when she was happy when she wasn't in pain or crying in his arms due to countless nightmares

"YOULL PAY! YOULL PAY YOU SICK FUCK!" Randy screamed out as the ghostface rushed off.

Everyone was stunned...shocked...at what happened..no one wanted to believe that Y/n had fell...but once Sidney looked down and let out a cry of disgust, sadness, and anger..they knew she was gone..and that the aftermath looked bad...

Sidney saw Y/ns lifeless eyes staring at her as her organs covered the floor along with her blood and parts of her broke skull. She saw the blood that ran from her open mouth..she regretted looking..every time she closed her eyes all she saw was her...

Randy fell to his knees, animalistic cries and screams bellowing out from him

Gale, Dewey and Sidney all hugged him tightly..they all knew and felt the hurt that he felt..

Y/n was their little ball of sunshine..their own gift from the heavens..now..the sunshine has faded and the gift had been taken..everyone felt a small part of them die along with Y/n...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days had passed

Yet none of them could stop thinking about her...

She plagued Randy's dreams

And her dead eyes haunted sidney

Sidney felt guilty for making Y/n go last..and she knew Randy blamed her for his girlfriends death..even Gale blamed Sidney too..

Ever since the first massacre.. Gale became like a mother figure to Y/n..she even took a beating just to give Y/n a chance to escape Billy and Stu..Gale loved Y/n like a daughter...and the noise of her skull cracking make gale want to vomit every time it played its way into her mind..

Not long after her death...maybe a week...

More calls were made

And more murders were committed..

This time..

The killer had killed Randy

Yanking him into a van stabbing him repeatedly and slitting his throat, leaving him a bloody mess like his girlfriend

All because Gale and Dewey told him to keep the killer on the phone

More guilt weighted onto Gale Dewey and Sidney when the found Randy's body

Coating in blood...

Yet all of them knew

That now...

He could be with his girl now...he could be with his Y/n...

And Sidney, Dewey, and Gale all vowed that they'd kill these sick fucks in honor of their friends..

Y/n l/n and Randy meeks

#billy loomis #stu macher #randy meeks x reader #randy meeks #scream #ghostface #mickey altieri #dewy riley #gale weathers

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emoweeb-the-simp · 2 years

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someone said yes to the tf2 post so fuck it we ball with

general merc relationships hcs!!!

(friendship & dating)

i'm trying to make this as gender neutral as possible. also no romance w pyro bcs i hc him as aroace :) s/o means significant other, but in this case, a petname for a gf, bf, etc!

Scout

() scout is the friend ever

() he has got your back!!!

() adhd icon

() maybe with enough convincing, you teach this man how to READ.

() ...& then he falls for you.

() he just sees you one day & is like "wait why are they cute now"

() he just starts joking about wanting to date like "yo what if we kissed lol" as a joke

() & YOU ACTUALLY KISS HIM.

() he's red now

() like

() redder than a cherry & tomato combined

() he makes it real obv that you both are dating, he means well though </3

() "GUESS WHO'S GOT A (s/o) NOW!!! SUCK IT!!"

() will stop if it makes you uncomfy or embarrassed :)

() huge on pda & petnames but they're corny petnames

() only problem is that he is easily jealous.

() "HEY! that's MY (s/o) pally, find ya own!"

() if some knucklehead even thinks of flirting with you, he will give them a very strongly worded speech about his s/o being his

() not to the point of being a yandere though, he will fight a dude for you but he won't (intentionally) kill someone!

Solly

(bear w me i'm not too good w soldier)

() this man. is autistic. i can confirm because i am autistic with adhd

() no convincing will change my mind

() ANYWAYS you are the most active person on the field other than scout

() & brave at that

() when this guy yelled at you, you kept a straight face

() no reaction or tears

() if you hate loud noises, he will be a lil more quiet to you after that :]

() also you became soldiers favorite person in the base bcs of that

() but the exercises are NOT easier but the only exception is that if you aren't really fit or you have a medical condition. he is NOT a monster.

() "MAGGOT!!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER DOES NOT MEAN IT SHALL BE EASIER!!!"

() this man can GRILL

() he has some good grilling skills, but not cooking skills.

() solly slowly falls for you but doesn't even know it.

() & when he DOES realize it's love, he is IMMEDIATE to ask you

() "HEY CUPCAKE! DO YOU WANNA DATE ME?"

() you are VERY flustered

() but you return his feelings ofc & now when someone slightly insults or teases you, he will yell at them.

() "MY (s/o) IS NOT A BASTARD, YOU ARE!!! NOW DROP & GIVE US 20!"

() you are his chill pill. you're the only person who can calm him down

() like scout, he easily gets jealous.

() he thinks you're a blessing to 'murica & he NEVER says that to anyone so he means it <3

() he has a hidden soft side that you activate in him & it is the most adorable thing ever <333333

Pyro

(nonromantic btw)

() you became besties the day you understood him.

() he isn't really a bad guy :)

() he is roommates w engi.

() "ah, ya here to see pyro again? don't stress about it, hun, come on in." :)

() you LOVE drawing together

() he compliments everything you do & hypes you up!! :D

() MANCHILD

() despite being besties, he will NEVER. EVER. show what's under the mask.

() only engineer & medic know, & they will NOT tell you. >:(

() "sorry kid, i can't tell ya what's under the mask."

() "HAH! do you zhink I vould tell YOU?! not in a MILLION YEARS!!"

() you're one of the only people stopping him from "going into pyroland" (committing arson)

Engineer

(tw: amputation mention!! just one but STILL!!!)

() you show a heavy interest in scientific/engineering stuff

() so

() you attract him

() he shows you his gunslinger, short circuit, etc., & you're all impressed

() you then ask if he had no arm at birth so he made the lil hand attachments & he just goes "oh hahah yeah yeah..."

() he had it amputated by the medic turns out. he keeps it a secret between himself & the doctor to this day.

() he has

() the best

() cooking

() ever.

() like fr

() LET. HIM. COOK.

() when he falls for you, he immediately knows

() but he's been heartbroken before

() so, he just stares at you with loving eyes, daydreaming about a future life that may never happen...

() ...until py(b)ro does eventually make him confess because he learned from the doctor that compressing feelings is bad & it is big nono bad >:(

() he couldn't say no to that level of cuteness! so...

() he confesses to you via love song on his guitar

() ain't no way you're saying no to this. if you do, no you didn't you said yes shhhhhh

() every once in a while, he'll let you hold his gunslinger hand :')

() it's cold but also warm?????

() but fyi, he is a busy man

() you have to remind him to sleep or he will accidentally pull an all-nighter

() but his cuddles make up for it ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

() SOFTEST TUMMY EVER <33333333333333333

() you help each other with burnout ofc

Demoman

() you stole his last scrumpy

() oh boy was he PISSED at you

() you two both yelled at each other & it almost got physical

() ...

() then you two became best friends.

() like WHAT IN THE HELL?

() so now you both share drinks every night together <3

() which is how he fell for you

() you're tough, strong, & also a lil sassy!!

() he took a lil too many drinks one night &-

() "eruhhhhhh i think i love ye man..." & then proceeds to slur his words furthermore

() you're cuddling him when he wakes up & he almost has a heart attack

() but he doesn't leave your arms

() he snuggles closer to you <3

() this man is tied w engineer for the best cuddles imo they are TEDDY BEARS

() protects you at all costs

() oh btw his eyelander hates him being so lovey-dovey

() but you two will have small talk

() do not touch eyelander

() DO NOT TOUCH EYELANDER

() DO N O T TOUCH EYELANDER

() eyelander will be pissed & trying to attack you while demoman will worried

() not fun. 1/10. do not recommend

Heavy

() you were fluent in russian & english

() so you served to him as a translator for a bit

() he seemed intimidating

() one day you were doing your workout in the base & heavy noticed & was like " little person strong??"

() so you & him are gr8 friends now

() will give you a crumb of the sandvich

() that's it though

() you are always complementing sasha/sascha & apparently heavy can speak gun because heavy is saying that sasha/sascha says thanks :)

() idk if it's sasha or sascha i seen both so bear w me

() he eventually, like everyone else on this list, falls for you

() like engineer, he makes some sort of art with words for you

() unlike engineer though, it's a poem <3333333

() it's specifically in russian so no one but you or him can understand it

() became lovey lovey with him FAST

() he is the equivalent of a bear

() a lil intimidating at first

() but depending on who you are, he loves you <3

() will stop guys flirting w you UNINTENTIONALLY

() "hey sweetch- HOLY SHIT-" *running* () "hm? why..why was little boy running?"

() if he ever forgets a certain word in english, he comes to you :)

() lifts you up A LOT

() he means well by it

() if you tell him to not do that, he ofc will stop for you

Medic

() you didn't take his bullshittery. you were thinking:

() "MAN IF YOU DON'T CUT THAT SHIT OUT-"

() but instead of thinking it, you accidentally said it.

() oops.

() thankfully it was just you & him.

() you knew a thing or two about medical stuff so you two bonded!!!

() you, him & engi helped w experiments that either of you had!

() you also talked about random things

() he is secretly a softie & falls HARD for you

() like with engi, he's afraid to tell you because he's been heartbroken as well,

() but he does want to be alone with you more often than usual,

() so you figure him out & wait

() he does eventually confess, & was very relieved that you felt mutual with him

() yeah you two spend a lot of time together more, but ofc you still hang out w engi!!

() it wld be very rude to just leave him behind like that >:(

() although he will accidentally pull an all-nighter too if you forget to make him come to bed.

() calls you "mein Täubchen" or any other german petname he can think of

() you & his doves are close friends

() OH one time you & him were practically cuddling on his chair while he was working right, & then archimedes flew on down to your head & rested there

() you're sure it was to just get medics attention but medic LOVED it

() you were asleep though :(

Sniper

() loner

() you become friends after making sure he isn't being attacked by a spy

() you give him a warning sign that there lies a spy

() now he lies behind sniper

() "ey, thank ye for earlier"

() "ah no worries, i'm always glad to help!"

() you'll visit his van & chill

() doesn't even realize he's fell

() he just zones out on you a lot more.

() you confess first & he's like "wait that was the feeling?"

() he's never felt this way give him a break </3

() shy, at first

() he does branch out to you more

() takes you out on camping & maybe hunting dates if you're comfy with it :)

() keeps the relationship PRIVATE

() "ey look luv, as much as i love ya, if we share this with anyone, our careers are done for"

() means it in the best way though

Spy

() flirts with each other abound

() started as jokes, ended in actual love

() you eventually ask "hey are we actually dating?"

() he says "maybe, if you want to" to mess w you & flirt

() you SWOONED just by those words

() so you two are ALREADY dating

() you go FAST with him friendship & relationship wise

() by the second date, you two probably 👉👌

() of course, he is taking this relationship TO THE GRAVE.

() if ANY rumor were to get out about "spy has a (s/o)", he will deny it until EVERYONE is convinced.

() he loves you oh so much

() he TRULY means well & will protect you by any means necessary

() after he checks everywhere to be sure nobody is looking, he'll show you what's under the mask & tell you his real name

() the only rule with that is to call him by his name in private

() & ONLY in private

() outside, you two may never be alone

() he'll ramble to you about his life as you sleep on his chest <3

sorry it took a bit, school & life always kick my ass

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #scout tf2 #soldier tf2 #pyro tf2 #demoman tf2 #engineer tf2 #engi tf2 #heavy weapons guy #heavy tf2 #medic tf2 #sniper tf2 #spy tf2 #emoweeb actually has inspiration wow(emo writes)#THE SILLYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tf2 tag)

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drivestraight · 2 months

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Omg hi so I read your newest fic which was so good, I’m a very casual Landoscar enjoyer but I like how your portray them, specially after Hungary!

I also read anatomy of a joke for the first time and omg it was so good, one of those fics that you read and you know what’s going on is a train wreck but you are oddly enjoying it even though you shouldn’t

This max had so many layers I was desperately craving to peal back, especially every time the fact that he had a gf was brought up, I would kill to know if Kelly really gave the thumbs up for all that mess. He is also very funny in here like damn I respect you for somehow always win despite everyone else losing their minds around you.

Lando…everytime he appeared I felt like I was that friend that he never listened to when they told him his man ain’t shit, probably what oscar was at some level lol. I like the vagueness around what are his true feelings regarding oscar and max, at some points I was convinced he was actually in love with max and at other I doubted everything.

Prayers for oscar, i was yelling at my screen for him to dip out of that mess and save himself, I wonder what happened after the last scene with max

Anyways I like your writing and I will be reading the rest of your fics! Also I kept wondering about why the title was “anatomy of a joke” and after thinking about it I think I got it lol

thank you so much! i obviously don't write landoscar that much dsjf;lkdfjsa and it's more of a new thing i'm doing on a whim so i'm happy you like how i write them!

and YEAH haha with anatomy of a joke i knew that there was no way i could introduce people to it fairly... you just have to jump right in... and it takes you places... i remember finally reaching austria and it was like. hehe. This is where it goes off the rails. it was supposed to be so much lighter but then it just progressed the way it did, and i liked how it was turning out, so then i just went with it! happy it turned out well :)

and yeah like. one thing i was trying Not to do was overexplain anything or belabor the point. keep things a little unsaid and let people intuit what they wanted/read between the lines and interpret it the way they wanted, but also leaving enough space/intrigue that you felt compelled enough to like, think about it. what it means, etc.

the girlfriend mentions were important... is it really purely casual on max's side? no feelings just friendship handjobs etc etc. but there is the weird possessiveness and needing to take up every space he shares with oscar/remind him that lando is his, etc. but yeah god he really was just. reading the room but also ignoring all of the signs and being like. So you want a threesome tonight. at every change he got 😭😭 love this guy

and exactly with lando... does he like max? eh. idk. it means something to him, though. waves hand vaguely weird intimacy issues. we gotta keep it semiotic. all the signs are there but if it's in a language you can't decipher, you're just left staring at it wondering what it all means, re: what oscar was going through the whole time, while also trying to tell himself he didn't care/give off the air that he didn't care, when he's had a flame for lando for like 6 years. fun little topsy turvy moment to me to write, that flashback.

and after that last scene with max he went back to his hotel room and Wallowed. I think. maybe. <3

it's called anatomy of a joke because... well... oscar's the joke...

if i do end up writing lando pov, the "joke" will become clearer. idk if i will, even though it's pretty planned out rn, but on the off chance that i do end up writing it, i'll keep lando's side of things a secret... get back to me in like a month on this...

anywayyyyy thank you thank you! i always love to get little messages like these - ik i don't reply to ao3 comments really, because it gets rly overwhelming at times, but i always read everything people comment/send me on tumblr about my fics, and i really appreciate it all! keeps me feeling encouraged to write more. tytyty

#asks #fic asks #anatomy of a joke

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orangetubor · 1 year

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Vent kinda cuz I'm. Rahhhhh. I say kinda but it's actually. Trigger warnings in tags

I gotta stop falling for suicidal people. Like my first bf/gf we were cute cuz we were 11 but like even before we started dating they tried to kill themself. At a Halloween party no less. I'm glad I was there to talk them out of it though. Don't want their zombie costume becoming real lol. We broke up cuz I'm too touchy and can't read the body language that says 'stop'. I didn't even think I was touchy I would just like tap their hand with my pinky during class. I only even got one kiss and it was through two layers of mask cuz COVID.

Were still friends I think. Not as close as we were but we're still friends. Still married in tomodachi life and we just had our second kid <3 there's all these remnants of the friendship and I just miss them so much.

And then there's the current boy. Didn't even mean to fall for him. I guess no one does. But this was like a 'he tied my shoelaces and laughed in my face' type of fall. It started one day when he accidentally grabbed my hand when trying to grab a book and I was like 'no were holding hands now'. Rookie mistake. But we held hands all the way to class and it became a habit after that because my hands are very warm and his are very cold. After this I was like 'okay am I fr in love or this a crush or something or do I just like holding hands' and it was really big deal for me cuz I was questioning aromantism at the time (I'm p sure I'm demi now) and then one time we accidentally kissed cuz we were trying to pick something up and I turned to face him and my mask touched his lips. I didn't even get to FEEL it but I still get sweaty thinking about. That sounds weird but like there's a heat radiating from my stomach and hands. Maybe it's the coffee. But still I just. RAHHHHHHHHHH. and then his friends thought we were dating and we kept joking about it and I thought I would get my teen romance or something but I kept second guessing and wondering if I was just in love with being in love or if I was in love with him. And then. Heartbreak. And that's how I knew I was in love with him. Cuz he had a crush on someone else. And now he's dating another someone else. Or he was the last time I checked. And he even said verbally in pe 'i always have a hard time telling the difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I thought I liked you at some point but I don't think I do' and at that point I was like. Clinging to straws and then he just threw the hay bale off a cliff.

And I want to hate him. I want to hate him so much and I just can't. And now. Rahhhhh. He wasnt responding to any of my texts so I was sad cuz abandonment issues and I TOLD him. (I communicated my feelings!!! Yippee!!!) And he said he was going through some stuff so I was like okay and I kept texting him stuff over summer so he could reply at any time but at some point he stopped reading the texts. And it's been like a month and I have no idea if he's even alive. But I WANT to know I NEED to know and I can't talk to my mum about it cuz she'll tell his parents and then he'll get in trouble cuz his parents suck and I don't want ANOTHER friend to hate me cuz I got them in trouble with their parents cuz I thought I could trust my mum not to tell their shitty parents. And I'm fucking sick of falling in love with suicidal people. I want him to be ALIVE so I can HATE him. And I can't do that if he's DEAD.

#tw: suicide mention #long post #vent post

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msookyspooky · 2 years

Note

Re-watching scream, I absolutely love sid's first ghostface call!

1. Sid thinking its randy and saying what he did with his voice was sexy (if jamie kept his fluffy hair, WE WOULD HAVE WON THE RANDY MEEKS IS SEXY MOVEMENT.)

And 2. Her "what's the point? They're all the same. Some stupid killer is stalking some big breasted girl who can't act who's always going up the stairs when she should be going out the front door. It's insulting." Quote.

I would LOVE to include this in my book bc I love this quote sm. Idk why but I do!

-👻

IKR? (The fluffy hair would have killed us all) Like, even if it was Sid joking that still came out of her mouth AND their chemistry! Anyone that is like 'Randy and Sid wouldn't have worked-' Nope. Billy was in the way and I seriously think if they wouldn't have panicked after the script was leaked and killed off Randy in 2; Derek would have either been GF or died a victim and Sidney and Randy would have been endgame (Even tho one of them would have probably already died by now like Dewey 🥲🥲🥲)

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW BILLY FELT ON THE OTHERLINE HEARING HIS 'GIRLFRIEND' SAY RANDY'S VOICE SOUDED SEXY ADJHASHJ

I loved that qoute bc it's so meta for her to...Run upstairs when she should've went out the front door 🤣

NGL me and my cousin about a year ago had a horror movie marathon and we were talking about how dumb these final girls are and then we had a fire scare (Istg it was paranormal we SAW the smoke and smelled it with the lights off and my pets were freaking out then lights on...It was gone. And my freaking door opened by itself earlier that day.) ANYWAYS, she couldn't get her shoes on for nothing. I ran to the garage to get a fire extinguisher then ran around our house to get to the basement where we thought it was when there was a fire extinguisher ON THE WALL OF OUR KITCHEN.

Thank god it was a false alarm. Fucking embarrassing and humbled both of us 😭 So meta or not, Sid running upstairs is probably more realistic than any of us want to admit (Plus we now know Billy was waiting outside so she would have been killed running outside he was probably expecting it and waiting outside the doo

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hospitalterrorizer · 4 months

Text

diary251

5/25-26/24

saturday - sunday

wowowowowow!!!!!

i love guitar wolf and i also love life!!!!!!!!

today was really good, the bands that opened for guitar wolf were all basically good, one had songs that would go on too long, one was like, they do not work recorded but the guitarist/singer is so insane live (schizo-phonics) that they're incredible to me.

i'll talk about that now i guess, he was just like, thrashing so violently, doing the splits, staggering around the stage, hitting his guitar and playing with one hand while singing, jumping onto the barricade, sliding all over, falling, screaming, and the music was like, really basic garage rock blues scale stuff which honestly added to the general insanity of it, there was one song that was pretty good but i have no idea what it'd be called. just an insane thing to see, the guy was so destructive to his own body, and his own body was like, or is like, this basal thing he is so reminiscent of bataille's essay about the big toe, the places where the body admits its fall, against the upright-ness that develops, as we become as trees or heavenly. the point of non-transcendence, the pin in the side that makes it impossible. this is a liberating thing, though, to acknowledge that, run with it. very very incredible ways to move your body, to me. and the way he played guitar really was violent to the thing, just like, punching it, tapping on the strings with one hand, violent windmilling of it, the acrobatics were psychotic and it looked like he wasn't even playing the guitar but i know he was. he looks like this guy i know who runs a bookstore in downtown, like, very similar, which is super funny.

but anyways, before getting to guitar wolf (is there even much to say? they were loud and incredible, one of the best concert experiences i've ever had, like melt banana and machine girl in ways, and in ways different (i like that they antagonized the venue with their encore antics)). the rest of the day was crazy!!!!!!!! for some reason a bunch of people in downtown were getting married today, so many gowns out and about and stuff. like wow, how weird.

but also like, while walking around downtown, we saw guitar wolf!!

we got to take pics with them (which i am sure i look terrible in...) and that'll appear on their instagram at some point i suppose. but that's so crazy. they're so nice, all of them. the bassist, gotz, especially, we saw him after the show and he was very kind, we got one of the setlists and he signed it, he took pics with my gf, he shook my hand, he liked that she spoke japanese to him. he was so genuine, taking pictures with everyone, talking to them, just really sincere. seiji was backstage, but he was also lovely to everyone, and meeting him in front of the mantis was nice. he was so cool, all the feedbacking, the final encore bit was he went out alone and did a solo song, just so much fucked up playing, singing about love. and it really almost made me cry, it felt like real love, not just like, because it was messy, but its volume, inconstant in form and meter but this does not mean it is not there, only constantly ambling, it is a limping song, but powerful, so odd and sweet he is.

but that's really not all!!!

we also got to hang out with friends before the show, they didn't go to the show with us but they were hanging out. we got lunch with them and hung out for a while after, just killing time, and there's this new thing in downtown also they're doing, nic pizzolatto, the guy who did most of true detective re:writing and some directing, is doing a movie, and apparently it's got vince vaughn and al pacino in it, and we saw them working on that, not the actors but we saw like, the director seat, we got kicked out of a bar because of the filming. so funny and stupid... they also stuck up new signs out in parts of downtown, fake bs for the movie. with all the weddings and the supposed presence of vince vaughn, i kept making elaborate wedding crashers jokes. like he's going to begin crashing the weddings by killing everyone, things like that.

we also got to see our other friend who works at that bookstore i mentioned farther up, my gf thought maybe she was mad at her (semi long story about a birthday dinner thing she tried to do for my gf going poorly recently) but really they both were anxious on behalf of the other more than anything to do with actual resentments. and i love seeing her so i am glad i will continue to do so.

also, here's what i looked like today:

when our friend had to leave a few hours before doors opened to the venue, we kind of had to kill time, so we just sat outside for a while, loitered in a little zone where there were people taking photos after getting married, a party for people who got married, and then like, closed businesses (for the day not shuttered), and then we walked to the mantis again, saw a bunch of tourists staring which is always funny, and then went over to the venue.

the crowd was a lot of older people, which is fun(ny), they were all super respectful and kind, which is also nice. just a good environment, everyone was receptive to everything it felt like.

a very nice night. one thing that sucks, i broke the door handle off the fridge. this place is really ... sucky. in lots of ways. i hate a lot of the appliances and things. but you know. at least i have this stuff at all i suppose...................................................................

i also just worked on one song, more than i thought i would, so very happy with that. i also worked out today, but i expected not to. i'm still on my 6-5 days a week working out and then 1-2 days of break. this week i am gonna do 2 days of break, sunday i'll be off of working out. very happy with the effects of working out, hoping they get more pronounced as welll..............................!

anyway, i need to sleep, really, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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fanby-fckry · 8 months

Text

I don’t have a clever meta post for this one. Just know that I am unreasonably proud of one of the recurring jokes.

Source: voxblr.com #unreality cw #ooc #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

23 hr. ago

adam is literally sinner coded because of his war crimes. but whatever

🍸 bar-cat75 Follow

23 hr. ago

Angel, I know this is a joke, but just remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he’ll answer.

🍎 luci-goosey-666 Follow

1 min. ago

Hi! :D

Source: voxblr.com #jumpscaring my denizens

( 4,564 notes )

🎀 charlies-angel Follow

8 min. ago

New url now that the cat’s out of the bag.

moth-gf -> @.charlies-angel

🌈 hells-disney-princess Follow

8 min. ago

Awwwwww, babe!!! 🥹🥰💖

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

2 min. ago

gay

( 12 notes )

💙 ozzie-king-of-lust Follow

1 hr. ago

Lmao I love how Adam fought the radio demon, the princess of hell, and Lucifer himself, but in the end the one to put him down is a two-foot tall cyclops with a knife and blood lust.

💙 ozzie-king-of-lust Follow

58 min. ago

@.jest-fizzarolli Fizzie Frog, you cannot leave this in the tags.

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

57 min. ago

Source: voxblr.com #ozzie peer-reviewed my tags #is he biased? #yes #but idc ↯ #niffty lady ↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #adam ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #jesters privilege

( 15,708 notes )

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

12 hr. ago

if I make it outta this alive, I’m gonna tell my crush I’m in love with him.

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

2 hr. ago

fuck

#well well well #if it isnt the consequences of my own actions

( 173 notes )

🐝 queen-bee-lzebub Follow

3 hr. ago

Nice try Heaven, but: L + Ratio + the power of friendship

#stay sinning stay winning babes!!! ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #👑🐝

( 15,1253 notes )

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

3 hr. ago

Alastor is trending again, but this time for the right reasons (getting his ass kicked and running away like the cowardly little pissbaby he is)

So I guess I won’t be deleting this hellsite just yet

↯ #alastor the radio demon #shitposting in 4k

( 794 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

4 hr. ago

I seem to have made what you might call an “oopsie daisy”

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

4 hr. ago

A real “cringe fail moment” if you will

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

4 hr. ago

I fucked up

↯ #alastor the radio demon ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #real radio demon broadcasts

( 88,387 notes )

💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow

5 hr. ago

hey is no one gonna talk about how a fucking rpf smut writer just killed adam the motherfucking archangel?

💀 be-gay-do-crym Follow

4 hr. ago

@.niffty-lady has over 1000 fics on archive of our souls including a 500k word explicit radiostatic enemies to lovers fic that allegedly caused infighting in the vees because vox wanted it taken down and velvette kept blocking his access

and she stabbed the leader of the exorcists to death

↯ #niffty lady ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #her url is trending now so ig we are talking about it #cryms crimes

( 16 notes )

❤️ moth-pimp Follow

8 hr. ago

people think I’m exaggerating when I say voxxy has a fetish for killing the radio demon. I wish those people could see him now.

🧁 rad-velvette-cakes ☑️ 🧵Follow

8 hr. ago

#hate boner doesnt even begin 2 describe it #radiostatic #vox ↯ #alastor the radio demon #rb

( 498 notes )

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

23 hr. ago

for 2nd extermination day I’m deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Source: Know Your Meme ↯ #extermination day ↯ #extermination 2 electric boogaloo #shitposting in 4k

( 262,976 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

23 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

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gukguktae · 3 years

Note

Bts maknae members reacting to you asking threesome w their ex gf( you guys are good friend )

AN: NGL this is hard to write, but it got me out of writers block from other writings. Thank you for the request, I hope you like it. None of them agreed btw, try the Hyung-line. LOL.

Read at your own risk, pleaZe! This is an 'imagine' use your imaginations. Don't get offended if I didn't perceived your perception because again that's your perception. 🔞

Warning: just... okay? this is clean, but mention of sex and bj👀

Title: The one where y/n wants threesome (Maknaes)

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

JIMIN

Pushing the heavy door open at your shared apartment making your presence known to your boyfriend, who's lying comfortably in the couch with his phone in hand, he looked up and kept gaze as you path your way to him.

“Hi.” Smiling ‘til his eyes form a thin line, happy to see you after longing for you all day. His heart skips a beat as you return the smile before bending down to his bless his lips with a loud smooch. “Where have you been? I missed you.” Turning his phone off then setting it down on his chest.

You hummed for a moment. “Guess.”

Raising an eyebrow at your answer. “I don’t know, shopping?” He looks around for any trace of bags. “Wait! That’s a stupid guess! Did you went to your parents?”

Shaking your head, “Nope.” Popping the ‘p’ as you drag your hands all over his chest, playing with his harden nipple. “I went to see someone.” Biting your lip.

He sat up to stare at you, “Is this how you’re going to confess that you’re cheating on me? By turning me on?”

“What- No! Jimin!”

“Jimin? Oh, god! You are cheating on me? What’s his name? I’m going to kill that bastard!”

You place your hand on his chest to stop his paranoia, “Will you calm down? Baby, I am not cheating on you!”

He eyes you to scan any lie or guilt on you face, “Then what and who is it?”

Exhaling and adding a mental note not to play guessing games with him again. “I met with Ari.”

It took Jimin a few seconds to process what you said, “Ari? My ex Ari?” You nodded, “Wha- Why? Are you hurt?”

“Why would I be hurt?” He waited for your next words, because your answer didn’t cover his question. “We’re friends Jimin, before we happen. She and I actually close.”

“Okay…” He trailed. “How was your meeting with her?”

You shrugged, “It’s okay, we get to talk about you a lot actually.”

Jimin wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or terrified about that. “All good, I hope?”

Looking back to the previous conversation with Ari made you giggle which made him anxious. “Sure. I have to change.” You jumped on your feet and power walk to your shared bedroom, you heard him groan before following you.

“y/n! You can’t just walk away after that!” Throwing his body to stop you from entering the closet, “What did she say to you? She trashed my name didn't she?!”

Ducking down to pass under his arms, “No, she’s not like that.” You couldn’t stop giggling again.

“Then what is it?!” He was almost whining, dying to get the answer because he’s sure as hell he’s not gonna sleep tonight if you didn’t spill the tea on him.

Stripping out of your outfit, Jimin gathered all his strength not to get distracted, he kept his eyes on yours trying so hard not to look down. “Do you really want to know?” Like an eager kid for a candy he nodded, “Promise me first.”

“Okay… anything.”

“You’re going to be the one calling her once you agree.” Slowly moving your hips to him, caressing his neck. “We... Ari and I…” He swallowed thickly, “want to have a threesome with you.” Biting your lip to stop you from smiling too much at the idea.

Jimin always jokes about wanting to have threesome, however, he wanted it with two of you. He wanted you to get cloned, so he can have the fantasy come true. Apparently, he uses that joke to Ari as well, it didn’t outrage you because why would it? It actually got you thinking what he would be like if he’s in a threesome. Would Jimin’s confidence prevail or is he going to get overwhelmed? Jimin in bed always know what’s he’s doing, he’s incredible in any aspect and he knows it. What would happen if there’s too much of what he loves in front of him?

He didn’t show any emotion for a solid minute, just staring at nothing while perspiring heavily. “Baby, are you okay?” You smiled.

“I.. uhm..” Moving back from you slowly while mumbling non-sense. This is his reaction, imagine if he’s in the actual situation, he would die and came back just to finish the job. “I need a minute to myself.”

You chuckled, “Take your time, baby. We can wait for you.” Purring the last sentence that made him fall apart.

All the blood from his face and air in his lungs departed in one exhale. “Oh, God! Jesus Christ.” He kept mumbling prayers while getting away from you.

Dialing Ari’s number, “You were right, he’s a blubbering mess.” The other woman laughed with you.

Jimin went back to the living room to scream on a pillow because his jokes backfired on him and blow up in his face. Just thinking about it shaking his very core all while being confuse because he wants it, but he thinks he can’t go through with that. You in bed is too much for him already, sometimes he can’t keep up with you, but add another girl to that situation? “I can’t do it!” Muttering of himself like a lunatic. "I can, but I'm scared."

TAEHYUNG

“Let’s have a threesome.” You blurted out in the midst of his story about his day. His boxy smile turns into straight face, blinking rapidly trying to process. He opened his mouth then closes it again, waiting for him to say a word with wide eyes and a grin. “With Da-Eun.”

“Y/N- Wh- What?” Taking a space back from you like he was actually afraid of you right now.

“Well, I read in a magazine that having a threesome is going to spice things up in a relationship and I thought it was a great idea. Don’t you?”

“No!” His alarmed face and voice made you pout, “And even if I do, do you think Da-Eun is the person fit to that… activity? My ex-girlfriend- she my ex, Y/N.”

It never occurs to you that he would be opposed to the idea, you just know that it excites you thinking about it. You love seeing him moan and groan while pleasuring him, even his grunts and curses are music to your ears every time. It puzzles him that you love going down on him rather than him going down on you, but no complaints there, he loves your blowjobs.

“So, I can’t change your mind-“

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Even if-“

“The answer is no. End of conversation.” He saw how your face saddens as his face soften. “Baby, I know you’re good friends with her and you like sharing things, but can I be the only one that you can’t share?”

You sigh, but nodded. “Sorry for bringing it up or even asking you. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Kind of.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He approaches you with a big hug and a kiss on your forehead, “This dick is only for you, no one else. Okay?”

You chuckled in his chest, “Good, let’s go.” You pushed him lightly and went on your knees.

JUNGKOOK

Just casually watching a movie with Jungkook, your head in his lap and a bowl of popcorn in your stomach, when you remembered something, “Hey, babe. Do you remember Nari?”

He hums without taking his doe eyes on the screen, “Nari?”

“Your ex.”

Peeling his eyes off trying to figure you out, “Why are you bringing her up? Are you picking a fight?”

Shaking your head, “No, we met yesterday.”

He returns to watch the movie, “Yeah?”

“She became hot, did you know?”

“No, we never talk after the break up.”

You sat up to get to the point of the conversation, “Well, she did.” Setting the popcorn down to his lap. “And it got me thinking actually.”

Jungkook took the remote to paused the movie, “Please, don’t. Every time you think nothing good comes up.”

“Hey!” You smack his shoulders. He asks you to proceed, so he can watch in peace. “Do you think she’ll agree to a threesome with us?”

Jungkook snorted. “Are you serious right now?” Closing your eyes and nod once, “Ask her then.” He played the movie again.

You moue before smacking his chest with the back of your hand, “That’s your reaction? You motherfucker, are you actually considering it?”

“I knew you were picking a fight!” Jungkook burst out chuckling with his noise scrunch up. That was a test and he failed miserably.

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡

BTS masterlist

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folkloreguk · 4 years

Text

Mirror, Mirror (m)

A/N: I will never ever determine which body type the reader has, but I want every single one of you to know that it’s okay to feel empowered by the way your nude body looks, you’re absolutely beautiful and no size is a limit to how sexy you can be!!! You go queens!

words: ~5.4 (I’m sorry idk how to write short things anymore asdfgh)

genre: smut, optional bias (male) x reader (female), kinda fwb??, sexting

[H/N means “his name”]

There’s no feeling quite like the one of trying on your new clothes that just arrived in the mail and loving how they looked. Especially when said clothes were lingerie and you felt like you could conquer the world, even when you were just standing in front of your mirror at 7 pm after you had just stuffed your stomach with lasagna. And what better way to enjoy your happiness than to share it with your best friend?

In fact, you had two best friends. One, a girl who you could trust with your life, and two, a boy who knew all your deepest secrets. One of the central differences between the two was that you would never think about asking the former about his opinion on your new lingerie. You almost laughed at the mere thought while you went through your contacts list and selected your friend’s name and clicked ‘send’. “It’s new. How do I look?” you typed and sent quickly, before throwing your phone onto you bed. You were feeling sexy, but for the rest of the evening there was only one way you wanted to feel: Comfortable. So, you changed into your pajamas instead.

You wondered what she would say about your photo. Sending almost-nudes to your friend might have seemed odd, but for the two of you, it was a completely normal occurrence. You loved making sure you both felt beautiful and confident by complimenting each other. Happily, you walked back to your room after you had picked up some snacks in the kitchen. You grabbed your phone as you plopped down on your bed. While you stuffed a handful of crisps into your mouth, you unlocked your phone to check your messages. You had expected a text from your best girl friend, but instead you had received one from H/N, your best boy friend. Pure horror consumed you when you clicked on the chat and saw your almost-nude there. Sent at 7:01 pm. Seen at 7:05 pm. And worst of all, he had replied before you could have clarified the mistake.

H/N: Idk where this came from but…you’re hot

You: SORRY THIS WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU

H/N: Okay that kinda offends me…you have a bf and didn’t tell me???

You: NO OMG THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING HELP…it was for GF/N just for fun!!!

H/N: Ohhh…in that case…

You watched the dots signaling that he was still writing while you were still wondering how you would ever look at him without getting embarrassed from now on. It wasn’t like the two of you never talked about sex. In fact, he knew a lot about what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom. Not because he had witnessed it. But thanks to multiple sleep overs with late-night conversations, when your lips became a little loose, you had discussed more sexual topics than you had ever dreamt of. Your cheeks were still feeling hot when you received another text.

H/N: How do I look?

Without missing a beat, he had attached a photo of him. Shirtless. His hair was disheveled, as if he had just removed his shirt, which he probably had. His sweatpants hung low on his hips as he stood in front of a mirror. He had tilted his head a little, showing off his jawline while he gazed at the camera with hooded eyes. You felt more embarrassed with every second you kept staring at his body.

H/N: OMG sorry this wasn’t for you!!!!!

Now you could only laugh at his stupid message.

You: Stop making fun of me!!

H/N: I’m trying to make you feel better!! Do I not get a compliment?

You: Thanks and you look great…can we please NEVER bring this up in the future?

H/N: Sure if that’s what you want…but if you ever need someone to rate your underwear again you know where to find me

~~~

And he really kept his promise. The next time you hung out, he was joking about everything but your little accident. You were thankful. But not mentioning the memory didn’t automatically delete it from your brain. And that’s where your newest problem begun.

You had never really looked at him in a sexual way before – sure, you thought he was handsome – but after than one damned picture he had sent you, you seemed to see him in a completely different light. There were no romantic feelings involved. But something felt profusely wrong about the way you thought about sex when he reached for a glass on the highest kitchen shelf and a small part of his abs was revealed. Or the way you instinctively licked your lips when you watched him stretch his neck in front of you. Or how your head spun when he lifted his shirt to wipe away his sweat when you worked out together.

One day was particularly bad. He had asked you to go to the public pool together, and being his best friend, of course you had said yes. As expected, he made you laugh until you were crying, scream when he playfully wrestled you in the water and giggle when he chased you on the water slide. And yet, you couldn’t help but notice his body. You almost felt bad, but then again, it wasn’t like you adored his character any less. You simply had some added adoration for another part of him. What were you supposed to do when he looked this good acting out a comic character while you played charades in the water? You might have been laughing on the outside, but you could barely tear your eyes off his neck and chest. Lately, you realized, the amount of thoughts you spent on wanting to kiss him had become problematic to you.

When you returned home at night, you couldn’t deny feeling sexually frustrated. Not wanting to give in to the inappropriate thoughts about your best friend, you turned on a tv show to distract yourself. But before you knew it, you were spending more time looking at your phone than at the tv screen. At first you browsed social media, but somehow you mustn’t have payed enough attention to your unconscious mind. You had miraculously landed on his Instagram, and when that didn’t entertain you anymore, you found yourself going back to your text messages with him. When you started at the shirtless picture he had sent you, you regretted not deleting it and forgetting about it right away. You wondered if he could ever feel the same way about you. You didn’t need any romantic feelings from him, in fact, you had no interest in a relationship at the moment. But you had never wanted someone this bad before and it was driving you crazy. So, before you could have stopped yourself, you were typing a message to him.

You: what r u doing??

H/N: do you miss me already?

H/N: ok do you really wanna know?

You: shut up you usually message me first!! and yes I do

H/N: I was about to jack off but you interrupted me

You almost choked on nothing when you read his message. Pretending you didn’t care, you replied quickly.

You: oh no am I killing the mood?

H/N: I didn’t say that

You: ????

H/N: don’t take this the wrong way but if you ever thought about sending me nudes again now would be the time

You: are u crazy?? are you actually asking me for nudes rn

H/N: it was worth a try ok let’s go back to being best friends who would never hook up

If you were freaking out about his previous messages, this one made you lose your mind completely. What was he saying? As confused as you were, you were also equally as sexually frustrated as he seemed to be. So, without a second thought, you chose the latest underwear picture you had taken and sent it to H/N.

You: that’s the most you’ll get…I won’t send complete nudes

You stared at the three dots indicating that he was writing a message. It felt like five minutes had passed when he finally replied.

H/N: fuck you’re so hot

And then he sent another shirtless picture. His bulge was prominent against his pants and the sight of it didn’t exactly help you with the pent-up frustration inside of you. But maybe it didn’t need to, because apparently, he felt the same way about you. You wanted to tell him about it. But there was no way you would be sexting your best friend at 11 pm, horny and frustrated. You knew you’d regret it and you’d only end up being embarrassed the next day. With no idea what to send him instead, you opted for simply waiting to see if he would say something. But he didn’t. Whilst waiting, you looked at his picture again. His jawline, his shoulders, his abs…and his boner straining against his sweatpants. For a moment you wondered if he was thinking about you too. Was he imagining it was you who was touching him when his hand wrapped around his cock? The more you let your thoughts run free, the worse your frustration became. And before you knew it, your hand was between your legs.

~~~

The next day you went about your duties, trying hard to pretend the previous day had been nothing but a fever dream. Luckily, you weren’t going to see him for another few days, so you could already practice an explanation of why sending nudes to each other had been a crazy idea. You worried about whether you could ever be the same around him after what had happened. But no matter how hard you tried to come up with a good reason why you should never even mention it again, you couldn’t. You were best friends who found each other hot. So what? Things could be worse. By nighttime, you had changed your mind. You were in the process of getting ready for sleeping, when your phone vibrated on your nightstand. His name lit up the screen.

H/N: you up?

You: not for long…whats up

H/N: I’m sorry for what I said yesterday about us not hooking up and so on…I was tipsy and you know my loose lips when I’m drunk

You: there’s nothing you need to apologize for

H/N: I was being weird and creepy…you’re my best friend

You: and you’re mine…that doesn’t stop me from finding you attractive

H/N: so I didn’t creep you out asking you for nudes?

You: I sent them to you, didn’t I… so what do u think

H/N: btw…thanks for that

You: likewise

…

H/N: so you’d do it again?

You: you’re not drunk now are you?

H/N: no just horny

You: dude I was about to go to sleep

If this had been a random guy you were occasionally talking to, you would have declined the request right away. You were tired and didn’t exactly feel too confident in your physical state. Nonetheless, you walked over to your mirror, pulled your shirt up until your bare breasts were almost exposed, and snapped a picture. Maybe it was the fact that you knew he’d return the favor and send you something back, or the immense trust you had in him. Posing in different ways, you took a few more pictures before you jumped back onto your bed. Impulsively, you chose the pictures you liked best and sent them to your best friend.

You: the things I do for you

H/N: fuck you look so good

You: have you always thought like that about me?

H/N: have I always found you hot?

You: yeah

H/N: I mean I never not found you hot

You: thanks I guess??

H/N: maybe we should have done this way earlier

You: agreed

Your eyes widened when he sent you a picture. He was still in his underwear, but his hand was wrapped around his visibly hard member outlined by the dark fabric. You had wanted to sleep, but somehow after looking at the photo for a little too long, you were wide awake. Leaning against the headboard of the bed, you let your head imagine whatever came to your mind. Never before had you noticed how much you liked his hands. Or maybe it was a temporary thing, now that you were already thinking inappropriate thoughts. You imagined it was his fingers softly touching the inside of your thigh, squeezing your breasts and playing with your nipples. The first time you moaned his name quietly, your cheeks heated up. But the more you thought of him, and the more you allowed yourself to wish it was him between your thighs, the more natural his name sounded between your whimpers.

And the two of you didn’t stop there. You might haven’t had time to hang out with him for another week or so, but you were texting each other more than ever before. Almost every night, you sent pictures to each other. With every passing day and every time you came thinking about his body on top of yours, you became more comfortable. Your messages to each other turned dirtier with every day and every picture was a little riskier than the previous one. By the way you cried out his name every night, your neighbors must have thought you had gotten a new boyfriend. One that was exceptionally good in bed, by the sounds of it.

Now it was exactly one week and a day after you had first sent him a picture of you. You had just stepped out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around your body as you entered your bedroom.

One could’ve thought you were going to be less horny, the more time you spent texting him about your inappropriate thoughts. It should have gotten less exciting at some point, shouldn’t it? To you, it was the complete opposite. He was all your thought about at night. So when you noticed your phone on your bed, you couldn’t stop your urge. You grabbed it, unlocked it and went straight to your messages with him.

You: please tell me you’re alone

H/N: yeah I am…do u need something?

Even though his text might have sounded innocent to anyone else, considering what you had done for each other all week long, you instantly got excited.

You: I have a present for you but since you’re not here I’ll unwrap it for you

H/N: I love presents

You had taken multiple photos. Starting from your with a towel covered body, you had slowly revealed more skin to him, until you had dropped the fabric completely. In the last picture you were covering your nipples with one hand across your chest, making sure your slightly parted lips were in the frame as well. After you had pressed ‘send’, you got comfortable on your bedsheets, not so patiently waiting for his reply. You hadn’t been able to get him off your mind while you had been showering. Now you didn’t even need to touch yourself to know how dripping wet you already were.

H/N: this is what you do to me

You were surprised when you saw his message. He had attached a video. Up to that day, it had only been photos you had sent to each other. So, when you clicked the ‘play’ button, you almost felt nervous. But the nervousness changed into something wholly different within the first two seconds of the video. His hand was down his pants, clearly stroking himself. He wasn’t speaking, but even the simple sound of his breathing behind the camera made your head spin.

H/N: do you want more?

You: I wish you were actually here

A blink of an eye after you had sent the message, instant regret hit you. Had you crossed a line? There had never been serious talk of the two of you actually hooking up, although you surely had thought about it more than you wanted to admit.

H/N: me too

You sighed in relief. So he wasn’t thinking you were going too far.

H/N: but its late and we’ve got work tomorrow

You barely had time to even think about a reply. The sole fact that he was seriously considering coming over or letting you drive to his place right now only justified the saying “People want what they can’t get”.

You: you’re right…this will have to do

…

H/N: let me know if you need more

But you already had your hand between your legs, his name on the brink of falling off your lips.

The next day, you were surprisingly focused on your work. Of course, you thought of him. He was your best friend, after all. Who would you have been if you didn’t wonder what he was up to or if you didn’t wish he was having a nice day? But that was about it. No dirty thoughts, no random sexual frustration at 2 in the afternoon. That was, until your phone vibrated in your pockets and you opened his message.

H/N: wanna hang out at my place tonight?

It was finally Friday. After over a week of not seeing him, you didn’t just want to meet him because you wanted him sexually. You missed his silly jokes and the way he made you feel careless after a stressful day. So, needless to say, you agreed.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen. Were you just going to hang out, the way friends do? Were you even going to mention your texts to each other? Your nerves were going mad when you drove to his place in the evening. It was a weird feeling to have about your best friend, you had to admit. But then again, you had every right to after the past week.

When he opened the door for you, you didn’t feel half as awkward as you thought you would. His hug felt the way it always did, and his room still was like a second home to you.

“Do you wanna order take out?” he asked.

“What’s in your fridge?” you returned the question.

“If I’d have to guess I’d say two eggs, half a bottle of soda and some yogurt,” he said. You laughed, already pulling up an app to order some food.

“Take out it is,” you grinned, falling onto your stomach on his bed. He followed your example. His shoulder was touching yours while you tried hard to focus on scrolling through the different offers of meals. But your look was drawn to his hands too close to yours and from one moment to the other, your mind was flooded with sinful pictures. You thought of him here, in this very bed, jerking off to the thought of you. Taking pictures of himself so you could do the same. Too many times you had imagined your face buried in his pillows, letting him hear the way you had been crying his name all week long, being able to make him cum with your own body and feeling his lips on your skin. Was he thinking the same things right now? Was he also struggling to focus on the simplest tasks?

“You’ve been looking at that chicken for a while now. Are you gonna order it or not?” he asked, making fun of you. How were you going to sit here, waiting and then calmly eating your dinner as if nothing was different? When you didn’t reply, he grabbed your hands along with your phone, making you look at him. You couldn’t instantly read his expression. All you knew is that in six years of friendship, he had never once looked at you this way. Inevitably, your eyes went to his lips and back to his eyes.

“Aren’t we going to mention this whole nudes-sending situation at all?” he suddenly asked, grinning cheekily. “What? You’re thinking about it too, aren’t you?”

You swallowed thickly. “Thinking about what, exactly?”

“How badly I wanted you last night,” he said. His face was close to yours. If you only bent forward slightly, you could kiss him.

“As in…now you don’t want me anymore?” you asked. He chuckled.

“Do you really think I didn’t want to push you against the closest wall and make out with you the second you stepped into my house today?” he asked.

“Then why didn’t you?” you asked, smirking and inching your lips closer to his. “Because I would have loved that.”

Instead of answering you, he finally leaned in to connect your lips. Within the first seconds you were moaning, and his tongue was on yours. You abandoned your phone on his sheets, swinging one leg over his waist to straddle him. He groaned into your mouth when you pushed your hips against his, your crotch rubbing over his bulge. Judging by the way you both reacted, neither of you had plans to take this slow.

His hands wandered over your sides and to your ass, squeezing it a little. You only moaned again, your fingers getting busy with his button up shirt. Teasingly, he bit your lip while he pushed your shirt higher, goosebumps rising on the skin he touched. His breathing became heavier when you let your hands roam his chest, pushing the fabric of his open shirt to the side eagerly. When you rolled your hips over his bulge again, you felt his erection more prominently than before, making you smile to yourself. For a moment you pulled away and pulled your shirt over your head.

“I’ve wanted to touch you for so long,” he confessed, watching as you discarded your bra onto the floor.

“Me too,” you agreed. He had sat up as well, and you helped him remove his shirt eagerly. “I’ve been wondering what your hands feel like.”

At your words, he pulled you back on top of him, playing with your breasts softly. You reacted, leaning over him, so he could take one of your nipples into his mouth. You whimpered at the way his tongue pressed against your sensitive skin. He gave the same attention to the other side, his breath leaving behind a cold sensation where he had kissed you.

Then, you bent to his level again, lips meeting in a needy kiss. You let his tongue lead yours for a while. Meanwhile, your hands sneaked to the waistband of his sweatpants. He hissed into your mouth as you grabbed his length through his pants, palming him through the fabric.

“Are you still into biting?” you asked, referring to a late-night talk you had had in the past. He smirked, nodding. Softly, at first, you nibbled on his neck, occasionally licking and kissing him. You got the exact reaction you had expected when you bit him, not to harshly, but probably leaving a purple mark nonetheless. He moaned and threw his head back, only exposing more of his neck to you. As time went on, you made your way down his chest and his stomach, settling between his legs. As much as you enjoyed hearing his moans and attempts to make you hurry, you were just as impatient, if not worse.

In one go, you pulled down his pants and underwear. He lifted his hips so you could fully take the clothing off his legs. Your mouth watered at the sight of him below you.

“If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be sucking your dick today, I would have called you a clown,” you chuckled.

“Look how the tables have turned,” he said, laughing with you. But his expression hardened the moment your hand wrapped around his length. You stroked him a few times, before lowering your head. Your tongue licked a stripe up the side of his shaft, until you opened your lips just enough to take his tip into your mouth. He cursed under his breath when you batted your eyelashes at him.

“Fuck, don’t look at me like that,” he said.

“Why? Don’t you like it?” you asked, your hand continuously touching him.

“I like it maybe a little too much,” he said, only making you grin. His expression read pleasure, his brows furrowed and his lips hung slightly agape.

“There’s no such thing as liking something too much,” you said. Purposely, you watched his face when you wrapped your mouth around his cock, tongue pressing flat against the tip. Steadily, you bobbed your head, your hand covering the rest of his length. His thighs were flexing under your hands and his stomach was rising and falling in an uneven rhythm. He propped himself up on his forearms, watching you intently.

“This feels so much better when you do it,” he said, followed by a groan when his cock touched the back of your throat for a moment. Your hand was covered in your saliva by now, eyes tearing up a little bit, but you blinked the tears away quickly. Every time you pulled away a little, you made sure to swirl your tongue around the tip. Right away, you had noticed the way he hissed at that specific action. Again, he cursed under his breath and you made eye contact once more. His lips looked pink from where he had been biting them and his cheeks were slightly flushed a rosy color.

“Oh my god-,“ he moaned. “I’m so fucking close.”

You bobbed your head faster now. After another few seconds you pulled away, replacing your mouth with your hand. The muscles on his stomach were tense and he had his hands balled to tight fists next to his body. You enjoyed his moans for a while longer, before you could feel him twitch in your hands. When he reached his high, he let his body fall back, his arms no longer able to hold himself up to watch you. The evidence of his pleasure spilled onto his abs and you slowly let your hand come to a rest. One of his hands was swung over his forehead as he breathed heavily. When you looked up at him again, he still seemed exhausted but was grinning from ear to ear.

“Give me a second and I’ll return the favor,” he said, sitting up. At his words you realized once more how much you wanted him. Quickly, he cleaned himself up. As you rolled over to lay on your back next to his sitting figure, you yawned briskly, getting comfy in his sheets.

“You’re bored? If you want we can also just watch a movie, or if you feel like-,“ he said with raised eyebrows.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” You sarcastically laughed, rolling your eyes at him. “I’m open for whatever. Right after you’ve made me cum on this mattress.”

“Alright,” he chuckled, turning so he hovered over you. “I think we can arrange that.”

He went straight to kissing your stomach and hips, while he unzipped your pants for you. His kisses tickled you a little, but the sensation was quickly forgotten by how close his hand was to where you wanted him most. In order to let him take off your pants, you lifted your hips a little. When he had thrown your pants aside, he couldn’t hide the cocky grin on his face at the sight of your underwear.

“This looks familiar…where have I seen these before?” he asked innocently, placing his hand on the material. You flinched a little when his fingers hovered over your center. It was a fleeting touch, but the lack of attention had made you needier than you would have thought.

“Imagine I hadn’t accidentally sent you that first picture,” you said.

“I don’t even want to imagine that,” he said, his dramatic tone making you laugh a little. Abruptly, your laugh turned into a whimper when he pressed one of his fingers against your covered clit.

“I get that you’re in no rush anymore, but I’m not gonna lie, I am,” you said, wriggling against his hand. He chuckled again but seemed to obey your request. His hand slid into the hem of your underwear, fingers instantly coated in your juices. In response, you only hummed contently when he curled his digits against your clit. Within seconds you relaxed into his touch. You put one of your arms under your head and closed your eyes for a while. Now and then, he teased your core by almost pushing his fingers inside of you, but then not doing so. As frustrating as it was, you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling. With skill, he rolled your clit between his digits. His free hand pulled on your underwear slightly, but not quite enough for it to come off. You whined at his teasing, looking into his eyes with a pleading gaze. He watched your expression for a while, probably enjoying the fact that he finally had the real you underneath him, instead of having to stare at some photos on his cellphone. So he finally obliged, making you feel empty when he pulled his hand out of your soaked panties, but simultaneously thankful.

“You have no idea how many times I imagined doing this within the last week,” he said. Then, he lowered his head and took your clit into his mouth. You had only opened your mouth to reply, but the words seemed to be deleted from your brain before they had time to come out, replaced by empty curse words. He didn’t waste any time in taking it slow, but you couldn’t have minded less. When he inserted to of his digits into you, your toes curled in pleasure and relief. With the way you whimpered desperately whenever he curled them against your walls, he had found your sweet spot in almost no time.

For more than a week you had been imagining, demanding for his touch, so deeply that now you could barely think straight when you finally got what you wanted. His tongue could do so much better than your own fingers could ever satisfy you. It was the unpredictability that made this so much more enticing than when you touched yourself. Would he slow down for a while, giving your breathing time to calm down, only to suck on your swollen clit feverishly out of nowhere? Would he curl his fingers inside of you almost painfully slowly, or would he almost pull them out completely, only to slide them right back into your core, until your vision felt so blurry you had to close your eyes? The more you thought about how good he made you feel, the quicker you felt your orgasm approach. One of his hands softly stroked over your belly, a strong contrast to the way your insides seemed to tie themselves into a tight knot that took up all your attention.

“Oh my god- please don’t stop,” you only moaned. Of course he didn’t. He only hummed against your center, only adding to how incredible you felt. As much as you loved watching him between your legs, there was no force that could have kept your eyes from shutting anymore. Your back arched off the sheets and your hands tightened in pleasure when the familiar feeling washed over your mind. You whimpered and struggled hard to keep your legs from closing around his head. For a few seconds you were blinded by the bliss, until your sensitivity began to set in. You softly pushed his head with your fingers in his hair, and he slowed down and drew back.

It took you a while to come down and until your breathing had regained its normality. Your eyelids fluttered open, while he plopped down next to you. He swung one of his arms around your waist, an action he had done multiple times in the past – only now neither of you was wearing clothes.

“That was amazing,” you said. “And here I thought I’d forever regret sending you that photo.”

He chuckled. “Agreed. So, what do you say? Are we able to focus on what to order for takeout now?”

You nodded and laughed, hoping this instance wouldn’t be the last time this happened between you two.

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miami2k17 · 3 years

Note

hi! how is it going? you said that your gsect epiphany was connected with my sister lover which is of course super cool and valid

but I think it is lock all the doors that spilled all the tea. like I even tried to interpret it in another way, like it is about some girl or whatever

it doesn't fit at all. ok, maybe some girl noel used to love might have had a star shaped tambo, but what all this "forbidden feeling vibe" for? like chill man no one is going to condemn or kill you if they found out that you are having sex with your gf lmao

long story short I really want you to elaborate on this issue. thanks xx

bestieee ive been saving this one for whenever i had the time and now im stuck in the house cuz miss rona finally got me soo 😚

lock all the doors is super interesting! its a song that's been with him for a very long time and one that, at least in its most recent iteration, he likes enough to at least put it on his best of comp.

i think where u gotta start with this ✋🤨 is to look at the original demo from 1992 (or 93? ive seen people say both. either way very very early oasis.) that originally sat unused until 96 or 97 when noel took p much everything but the chorus, wrote the monstrosity that is my sister lover around it, and set that loose into the world. lock all the doors was the same situation but opposite parts and 20 years later. BUT if you ignore my sister lover existing for a second. ik it's hard but hear me out. i think the original lock all the doors was incredibly revealing just as it was. before he wrote the absolutely ham handed chorus that is "you're my lover, i'm your brother", the 2 parts meshed together really well in that original demo i think. they have a very similar vibe abt like. something secret! about not wanting to be discovered. "you never notice you are blind/the dream i have can never be" v similar vibe of not wanting to be seen/noticed, or having something that must be kept secret, and knowing it will only ever be this way, you can't ever have more. and then the lock all the doors chorus brings that theme of like. escapism and running from everyone's view to be alone together in hiding. i think they fit super well together.

but anyways this aint about the demo or my sister lover and i kno ppl have discussed those to death there's really nothing else to be said about my sister lover besides. god what an incredibly bizarre song. i want to force him to acknowledge it at least once and explain. it's like a personal fantasy. anyways

lock all the doors (2015 ☝️😐) is very inchersting cuz why would he be taking lyrics about that feeling of being with someone and having to hide it away or keep it secret and reworking them to release so many years after that time had passed? i know he'll still release a song if it's good even if it's about something that isnt really relevant anymore but this one is weird because he clearly wrote new and Liam Centric lyrics just for it, that many years afterward,

like OBVIOUSLY we all kno "she wore a star shaped tambourine/prettiest girl i'd ever seen", it haunts me every waking moment, rent free etc etc. noel taking a song he wrote the chorus for when liam actually had that tambourine, and then writing that version of liam into the song like 22 years later im SICK. i do not need to mention just how many times noel made jokes about liam being a girl, wishing liam was a girl, wishing he had a sister instead. not even gonna get into that cuz that is its entire own insanity deep dive. but 🤔 makes u think !

"i tried to catch her every night/dancing on the road in her candlelight/but i can't seem to reach her anymore" babeee ur longing and loneliness is showing! this paired with the opening line of the song, and ALSO knowing just how old this song is, really makes me feel like he's longing for a past version of liam or even how they used to be together. it's just filled with nostalgia to me. he's trying, or did try, to reach that past version of liam and how they used to be but it just wasn't the same and they couldn't connect the same way anymore and he's still longing for it.

thinking about noel writing this chorus when he did in the early 90's is so 🥺. it's such a desperate wish for something that you couldn't ever hope to have in any real sense. you just aren't allowed. but sometimes love doesn't work that way and it's so incredibly sad for that reason lol. every time he writes about that wish to escape the world's view with someone and just be with them, alone together, it kills me. it's so sad :(

i think either this chorus was simply just good enough for him to reuse all those years later or, i would imagine to some degree even after all that time you would still wish for a perfect world where you could escape and hide away together and never be found. since that's essentially what caused 80% of the problems in the first place. again i think it's brought back up by nostalgia and a wish for things to be how they used to be. even if they were hiding and only together in secret behind locked doors with the lights off, at least they were together.

also i think the side by side of growing up sharing a bedroom with your brother, falling in love with him probably in said bedroom, and then writing a song about locking doors and getting down on the floor is very inchersting. makes me wonder if their door had a lock 🤔

this is where it gets juicy! and yes i had to edit this bc genius had the wrong lyrics! or at least i think so bc i dont own the album and am pure pissed abt that because i was halfway out of bed to get it and look when i realized i dont even fucking own it! anyways!

this part is super wack to me bc instead of speaking About this person like he has been, he starts speaking directly To them. the "She" he mentions then becomes someone else entirely, i rlly dont wanna go there but you can make your own conclusions. no matter how toxic and terrible it is between them, i don't think anyone will ever understand either of them the way they understand eachother so i get why he wrote a line like that, "she never hears me when i speak/i gotta find out where that magic sleeps" it doesn't mean he's like pining for liam over his wife or something, i think he's just nostalgic for that level of understanding and being known that he really can't get anywhere else.

"and i can feel you underneath my skin" YESS you are entwined forever neither of you will ever escape the other ur constantly followed by the thought or memory of him and vice versa. pining and longing for somebody to the point where they live so rent free in your head that you can feel them under your skin.

"and if we take our love inside" back to being hidden inside/behind closed doors with someone, because at least you have them at all! i think it's inchersting how noel's common view of his solo career being his ultimate freedom and happiness is contrasted here by a line like "cause i don't wanna sail on the ocean wide/cause we might never live to meet again" which sounds more like loneliness and the fear of him never getting this thing back that he's clearly missing. he obviously knows that they don't have forever if he does plan on fixing that at all. maybe being trapped inside, behind locked doors is better than being all by yourself and alone because at least you're locked in there with the person you love.

i don't think this song, or him bringing it back and releasing it this way, is a real true wish for that at all. more like a fantasy. when you're in a relationship like that for so long i can imagine it becomes a comfort and anything else might seem lonely/overwhelming or make you long for it, even if in hindsight it was much worse. it's just kind of all you know.

anyways yea in conclusion lock all the doors and thinking abt why it was originally written makes me very very sad let there be love etc etc

#this is literally unintelligible caveman speak sorry #i wish i could plug my brain into your brains and then send like straight thoughts and feelings cuz i cant speak #noel #oasis #long post

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

I was curious if you’d be up for headcanon of adopting Gabi Braun, or what it’s like being her older sibling?

If not maybe just Pieck relationship headcanons

Please and thank you

im so sorry im getting to this so late 😭🤚 ty for requesting ‼️

‼️CONTENT WARNING: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4 AND CHAPTER 139‼️

adopting gabi braun headcanons (canonverse)

characters: gf!sasha braus x gn!reader, platonic!gabi braun x gn!reader, fatherly!levi ackerman x gn!reader, platonic!falco grice x gn!reader

warnings: death, angst, hatred for kids (fuck them kids‼️), peepaw levi 😁👍

- uhhhhhh,, your relationship w gabi had a very rocky start. Lol !

- it all started when your friend eren jaeger decided to run away to infiltrate marley causing the survey corps to go get him just as a war was declared between your countries, and then two kids snuck onto the airship you were using to escape and shot your girlfriend. and she died. Lol !

- you had a lot of hatred for gabi in the beginning, and it was understandable

- you blamed her for shooting sasha, but you also blamed yourself for not being able to save her.

- you were a trained medic, you were supposed to save people, and yet you couldnt even save the woman you loved. it was like a slap in the face, like god was playing some cruel joke on you

- you remember sitting against the wall with sasha's blood staining your hands. you could barely process what happened at the time, and then levi came

- he sat next to you, taking a handkerchief out of nowhere seemingly, and just wordlessly wiped your hands down.

- your relationship with the older man was never defined, even today, but you both cared for each other

- the next time you saw gabi, was in that restaurant, niccolo had attacked gabi and falco, injuring them both, and said she killed sasha

- your blood went cold, you felt so many things, the grief you had pushed down in favour of your job, anger, fear, among other things

- niccolo had said there needed to be justice, he said that gabi should die for what she did, he tried to get sasha's father to kill her, and all you did was stand there.

- your body went on autopilot, barely listening to mr. braus' speech, you watched as kaya pointed a knife at gabi, and you listened to her wails of agony as you blindly led mikasa, armin, and gabi to a different room

- you were scared of yourself, for what you were thinking. did you really want a kid to die ? she did kill your girlfriend, the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the woman that shared her food with you, the woman that held you when you got scared at night, the woman that promised you that after the war you two would live on a farm together, and have a family of your own.

- but she was still a child. she didnt know any better. you were conflicted in your feelings, especially after hearing what niccolo had said, but it all just emphasized what was already known to you. she was a child

- your blood was pounding in your ears, and you could faintly hear gabi asking your comrades if they wanted to kill her. when armin reassured her they didnt, she looked to you and asked "what about them ?"

- you didnt answer her, and continued to lead them down where eren would be meeting you all. you were supposed to drop them off, but eren made you stay, and then a fight broke out

- you dont remember when you did it, but you held gabi in your arms, shielding her from the fight. you think you needed to be held more than she did

- things got more complicated after that, and slowly the hatred you had for sasha's killer went away, until all you had left was a hole in your chest from guilt and sadness.

- at fort salta, you thought you were going to die there, next to your friends. you thought you'd become a mindless titan, like connie's family

- but you didnt, well you did, but only for a short time, and when you turned back, you reunited with your friends

- looking around for gabi, you saw her tackle falco into a hug, which made you smile

- "y/n !" jean called, you remember looking behind you in confusion, he sounded distressed, but you understood why when you saw sasha saluting the three of you

- you felt your legs move on your own, and you ran closer to her, before stopping about a meter away. she was dead, you knew she was dead, but she was there, wearing that goofy smile on her face and looking at you as if you'd hung the stars in the sky

- she looked at you. "you did good." hearing her voice felt like a dream. your mouth felt dry, and your jaw opened and closed like a fish before you felt tears sting your eyes. "i love you."

- she nodded, before looking at the sky. "i know." she replied. sasha looked back at you before giving you a soft smile. "you know what to do now." before she disappeared in the debris

- you knew what to do, so you did it

- you found levi sitting against a rock, and when you leaned down next to him he muttered something. "i saw erwin again. and hange. all of them." you nodded. "i saw sasha." he looked at you, and gave you the closest thing to a smile. "i guess we're both at peace now."

*****

- three years later, you've become a school teacher in paradis, teaching young children how to read, to write, and basic math. you teach them about art and music, and nature. its nice being surrounded by children all day, kids are lovely.

- you live with gabi, falco and levi, in a small house inside wall sina. levi's legs have gotten weaker with time, causing him to use a wheelchair and crutches. he's given up on his dream of a tea shop, but is content with the life he has now.

- gabi and falco have gotten more rowdy with age, but they've both matured quite a bit. they make you proud

- you send letters to sasha's family. kaya is growing up, and has taken over archery just like her sister. niccolo is living with them now.

- you'll never be able to let go of sasha, or what happened to her, but the pain in your chest has dulled immensely. you think about her sometimes, when youre in bed alone, wanting to feel the warmth of her body in your arms, you know you should move on, you get teased about not having a new girlfriend, even levi has made comments about there being "plenty of fish in the sea"

it was a late night, on a friday. you were grading spelling tests at the dining room table, one lone candle being your source of light. your pen moves swiftly across the different pieces of paper, adding check marks or x marks when needed, adding a note at the bottom of each test, before adding a smiley face on all of your students' hard work. it was tedious, but it needed to be done, and you had to remember to bring them in on monday, you couldn't forget like last time.

you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. they were soft, and slow, and at first you thought it was levi but realized it couldn't be since you couldn't hear the soft tapping of his crutches on the stairs. they came down to the bottom and stood there, it was gabi, dressed in a light pink nightgown that came down to her knees, and her disheveled hair in the braid you did for her before bed.

you pushed your reading glasses to the top of your head. "what are you doing up ? it's late."

she shrugged, and walked over to sit across from you at the table. gabi grabbed the stack of papers that you already graded and shuffled through them, giggling when she found a misspelling.

you rolled her eyes. "don't laugh, they're six."

she shook her head. "i was spelling ten times better than this when i was their age."

"uh huh."

"are you calling my bluff ?"

you chuckled. "maybe. you should be in bed though."

"why ? it's not like we have school tomorrow."

you shrugged. "i was thinking we could go on a picnic outside the walls. it gets stuffy in here."

she nodded. "that would be fun."

the silence came back for a while, until you finished grading and set your papers aside.

"you know, i hear you sometimes." she whispered.

you looked at the brunette in confusion. "how do you mean ?"

"when your in bed, sometimes you cry."

you scoffed, and leaned back in your chair. "yeah well, i try to muffle it."

"i don't think ive ever apologized to you," she started. her eyes welled up with tears and her hands shook on the table. her cheeks and nose became pink as she held herself back from crying. "i know i feel bad, and i regret killing her but, i've never actually apologized to you for-"

"don't." you said. you kept your eyes on your lap, you felt your throat growing tight. "please gabi, don't say anything."

"i need to apologize-"

"you don't. you killed her. she's dead, the war is over. it's done. just let it go." you said, your voice wavering.

"have you let it go ?"

your head shot up to her. "i lost the woman i was going to spend the rest of my life with. she promised me a safe home, a farm, and a family. and she promised we'd grow old together. and that didn't happen. i grew up with her, i've known her since i was twelve, we started dating when i was sixteen. of course i haven't let it go, gabi."

gabi looked shocked by your outburst, but nodded. she understood how you felt, and she felt so guilty. "you don't forgive me do you ? i get it, i really do. i'm sorry."

you shook your head. "gabi no, i do. i do forgive you. i just, i can't forget it." you whimpered, tears started streaming down your face and you choked back a sob. "i loved her with all of my heart, i still do, but i don't hate you-"

gabi rolled her eyes, tears coming out uncontrollably now. "you should. i killed her, i ruined your chance of a happy life ! she was your family and i-"

"gabi no !" you exclaimed, cutting her off. at this point you both looked like a mess, and you were worried you woke up the boys. you grabbed her shaking hands in your own and held them to you. "you are my family. you are. so is falco, and so is levi. i forgive you, and i love you with all of my heart." you said, a sad smile on your face. her eyes widened at your words, before she started sobbing.

you got up from the table to come to her side, and held her in your arms as she cried. her arms wrapped around your shoulders while she dug her head into your neck, tickling you with her hair.

you rubbed her back and cradled her head while shushing her. she sobbed out a muffled "i love you so much y/n." that you chuckled at.

"i love you too so much." you whispered back.

it took a long time for gabi to calm down, but when she did you still held her, rocking her and yourself back and forth slightly. you two moved from the chairs down to the floor, funny enough.

you kissed the top of her head before talking, the only noise in the room being your whispers, her sniffles and the living room clock. "you know reiner's coming home soon. are you excited ?" she nodded against your skin and sniffled again, clearing her throat too.

"i hope he brings me a gift or something." she whispered back, her voice hoarse. it made you laugh, and you had to cover your mouth to keep quiet.

"they're going to shiganshina district for a couple of days, to visit mikasa and eren, and then mikasa will come with them to the capital."

"do you miss her ?" she asked.

"so much. i miss all of them, but mikasa is a close friend of mine, she holds a special place in my heart."

"do you think you and levi will go to the meetings between the marley ambassadors and the jaegerists ?" she asked.

"maybe, if they feel as though they really need us."

you sighed through your nose, which was a bit stuffy from crying. "after we turned back into humans, i saw sasha again."

gabi lifted her head up from where it was resting on your shoulder. "what ?"

"yeah, i saw her ghost i think." you looked down on her with a smile on your face. "she told me i knew what i needed to do, and then i went and got levi and you and falco." you paused for a moment, thinking about how you would word what you were thinking. "i did what i needed to do, i got my family together." gabi's eyes widened. "sasha promised me a family, and although this wasn't the family i had envisioned, it's still a family nonetheless. i believe her last gift to me was you, falco, and levi. and i am so grateful to have you all in my life."

gabi smiled before hugging you. she opened her mouth to say something-

"oi !" a deep voice came from the top of the stairs. "you two woke me up with all of your crying. go to bed." before your heard the creaking of the floorboards and the closing of a door.

you chuckled before standing up, pulling gabi with you. you walked her to her room, and even tucked her in, you both exchanged 'i love yous' and 'goodnights' before you retreated from her bedroom, closing the door behind you.

across the hall, levi stood leaned on his doorway with his arms crossed together. "that family speech, that was cute." he commented. you rolled your eyes at the older man. "were you listening in on a private conversation ?" you teased.

the ex-captain scoffed and looked away. "go to bed y/n. we have a picnic to go on tomorrow." before closing his door.

you chuckled to yourself, remembering how you brought up the idea to him that morning, and he only replied with a curt "we'll see" before sipping on his morning tea.

you went back to your own room, and got into your bed. you turned on your side, and looked at the space you always left open for sasha, and brushed your hand against the pillow.

"goodnight love."

uhhhhh doesnt feel like my best work but whatevs 😁👍 enjoy my comeback to tumblr 🤩🙏

requests open mfs ‼️

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x gn!reader #sasha braus #sasha blouse #sasha braus x reader #sasha blouse x reader #niccolo aot #falco grice #gabi braun #gabi x falco #chapter 139

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blackshadowswriter · 2 years

Text

So I gotta read Romeo and Juliet this year, and I already know the basic plot (thank you, sparknotes 😘 ur a lifesaver) and I just realized how messed up the play actually is.

If you think about it:

The two of them met at what was basically a blind date ig (i mean, they got masks) and smooched once

Romeo became a stalker and basically broke into Juliet's home (nicely, like Yelena though), and they had some heartfelt convo under the moon during which no one noticed a young girl talking to a random-no, not even random dude, a dude from a family that's literally their enemy-in the bushes below

Then bros decided to run off and get married after talking for like 3 hours

After that, Romeo got one of his homies killed and also committed homicide, but Juliet was like "omg, i still love u even tho u gutted my cuz, bby <3"

But my dude gets his stupid butt banished from the city, and that sussy friar dude gonna go full Potions Master Snape and pull a vial of some sleeping potion outta his ass

Juliet's actually gonna trust this sus baka and drink the damn thing when it could be a tube fulla piss or some expired milk or smth

She falls into her enchanted sleep or whatever (suing Disney for copyright now, ik where they got Aurora from)

She gets proclaimed dead, and no one-and I mean no one, not a single person in her rather extensive family-is gonna see a passed out girl and think "let's check her heartbeat to see if she's alive"

Like isn't that the first thing you do when you see an unconscious person???

Ik their science or medicine or whatever aint too advanced back then, but yall have got to have at least known that hearbeat = alive, no heartbeat = dead

And I refused to believe that that friar dude's potion stopped her heartbeat but kept her alive, so I'm determined that she still had a pulse

So if she had a pulse, she had to have been breathing at least, but none of these idiots gonna noticed that

Anywyas, Romeo hears that his gf croaked, sneaks back into the city, and he has to give one more goddamn monologue before he dips.

Like why couldn't he have just looked at his dead wifey and drank the poison instantly and saved us future English students the pain of reading that. He created another section of hw assignments to translate that speech he had to give.

And then after he yabbers on for eternity, he chugs poison

Like where tf are these people getting these vials of sketch potions from? Is Snape your private supplier or smth?

And then Juliet's gonna wake up, see her hubby frothing at the mouth besides her deathbed and be like "damn, this one dude I married for like two weeks is dead, my life is so over" and stab herself.

Then their fams realize that each of them got one dead fam member and are instantly like "man, we were so wrong to hate each other, it caused the deaths of this young, wonderful, not-insane-at-all couple, we should tots stop fighting"

If that was my family, they'd be so mad I went behind their backs and married a dude from the enemy family, they'd probably disown my dead body and toss me into the river

But like irl, they wouldn't have stopped fighting for a measly thing like death, nah man they gonna go at each other even harder, they gonna be blaming each other for Romeo and Juliet's deaths, and I wouldn't be shocked if they started a civil war or smth

And I'm sorry, but at the end when they say they put a statue up of the two, I'm just thinking of Loki putting a statue up of himself in Asgard. Sue me.

Like...? This...? Is...? Considered...? One....? Of...? The...? Best...? English...? Classics...?

Shakespeare got mad problems, dude.

P.S. Yall this is satire, I'm just joking, don't come at me and lecture me "well, that's not how it happened." I can't be bothered to read another analysis of this goddamn play

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peach-pops · 4 years

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Kuroo’s Secret Relationship

Request: hello👉🏻👈🏻 i had a vision and i cant tell if this is dumb or cute but IMAGINE kuroo and his karasuno manager gf at training camp but nobody knows theyre datin so they just keep it a secret so during the camp they try to find time to meet but if one of them is free the other one is busy. so during sleepy time she gets up to like poo or sumn and kuroo suprises her but she didnt know it was him so she punches him but then she feels bad and the next day everyone thinks he got in a fight I LOV U❤️

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting!!! I am a total simp for Kuroo idk if you guys can tell. This is just a cute little scenario and honestly, I’d let Kuroo punch ME but that’s none of my business. ALSO requests are still open, I’ll close them once I reach a certain amount.

Kuroo watched from afar as you talked amongst some of his teammates that were practically drooling at the pools of your feet. He knew he wasn’t being subtle at all as his eyes raked up your figure but he didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

You two had been dating for a while but you both thought it would be important to keep your relationship a secret for the time being. Kuroo didn’t want to make it seem like he would be putting volleyball as a second priority to his team and you didn’t want it to look like you were fooling around with one of Karasuno’s “enemies”.

It was fun sneaking off behind corners for private makeout sessions and sharing secret glances towards each other but as Kuroo watched you get blatantly hit on in front of him, he felt like he was losing his cool.

The worst part was that since the training camp started, the two of you had no alone time and it was eating away at the both of you. You felt like you couldn’t even smile at Kuroo when he did really well against your own Karasuno without exposing your relationship and frankly, the two of you were both at your wits end.

“ You’re making it obvious,” Kuroo turned around and looked down at Kenma, who’s attention was on his gaming console,” just go over there.”

Okay, Kuroo wasn’t supposed to tell anyone but Kenma was an exception. The two had been friends for so long and Kuroo trusted him with his life, plus Kenma was never the type to gossip.

“ Are you seeing this? They’re practically undressing her with their eyes! I can tell from here that Lev is into her just from the way he’s standing,” Kuroo kept his gaze on you as you let out a laugh and even though Kuroo didn’t hear the joke, he knew your laugh wasn’t even genuine,” I might actually kill them, would you help me bury the body?”

Kenma sighed as he continued to keep his attention to his game,” You’re hopeless.”

“ We would need to dig a bigger hole, Lev has a pretty big head,” Kuroo mumbled as you excused yourself to step away.

As soon as you turned away from the boys, your smile dropped and Kuroo could visibly see how annoyed you were with the conversation.

It made Kuroo feel better that you didn’t like getting hit on but it wasn’t like you could stop them, they all thought you were single. If they would’ve known you were dating the captain of Nekoma, their advances would stop but that wasn’t an option at the moment.

You looked over at Kuroo and your whole demeanor shifted. You gave him a big smile before you looked away and pulled out your phone to text him.

Y/N: pls tell me you saw that- i couldn’t wait for that conversation to be over, lev and yamamoto are going to be the death of me

Tetsuro: trust me, they’ll wish they were dead once im done with them

Tetsuro: r u free rn? I checked this morning and the janitors closet is unlocked maybe we can sneak off to have some alone time ;)

You looked up from your phone and up towards Kuroo who had the biggest smirk on his face. Before you could text back, Nekoma’s manager announced that Nekoma was next up to play for court two.

Kuroo groaned out loud, of course the universe was against him.

Tetsuro: im sorry baby, maybe later tonight then?

Y/N: that’s fine - good luck!

You watched as Kuroo put his phone away and sent you a quick wink before heading over to the empty court.

For the rest of the day, you two hardly even had the chance to share a glance between each other. Whenever he was playing on a court, Karasuno had their own match and whenever he was free, you had manager duties with the other girls.

Even during dinner, you were so busy running around doing last-minute tasks before bed that Kuroo never got to say goodnight to you. By the time you finished, Kuroo was already in bed snoring away with his teammates.

In the middle of the night, you woke up to Tanaka kicking you in his sleep and in retaliation, you grabbed your pillow and swung it over his face.

Tanaka only grumbled and flipped to face the other way, still in deep sleep whereas you were now wide awake. You rubbed your tired eyes but as you tried to fall back asleep, all you could think about was how dry your mouth was.

You contemplated on getting water before you sat up from your sleeping bag and walked out of the room silently, trying your best not to step on any of the sleeping boys. Once you shut the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway to the water fountain in a tired manner.

You weren’t terrified of the dark but the thought of going down a dark hallway at a school you weren’t familiar with was unsettling to say the least and you wish you brought your phone for some light.

When you reach the water fountain, you bent down and as you started to drink the water, you felt like something was off. Before you could turn around, you felt something touch your waist and every hair on the back of your neck stood up.

You whipped around and when you saw a tall and dark figure, your first instinct was to scream and swing your arm out to defend yourself. You made contact with the figure and once you heard the groan, you knew exactly who it was.

“ Tetsuro! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, you scared me! Are you okay!” You said as Kuroo held his cheek in pain.

He couldn’t believe you had actually punched him but he was even more surprised you landed a good punch in the dark,” See baby, I told you taking those boxing lessons would pay off but damn, you punch hard.”

“ You know you can’t sneak up on me like that, I’m jumpy!” You sighed as you squinted to see Kuroo’s face in the dark,” what are you doing up this late?”

Kuroo kept one hand on his throbbing cheek as the other reached down to pull out his phone,” I texted you to meet me in front of the janitors closet cause I wanted to have some quality time with my beautiful, sweet, girlfriend who I thought would never hurt me but instead of kisses, I got socked in the face!”

You knew Kuroo was only teasing you but you felt so guilty. You wrapped your arms around his large frame and pressed your face into his chest and apologized in a muffled tone,” I’m the worst girlfriend ever.”

Kuroo let out a laugh as he weaved his fingers through your bedhead and planted a kiss on the top of your head,” Don’t say that. If it makes you feel any better, you could always just knock out guys who try to hit on you now.”

You smiled up at your boyfriend as he took the chance to lean down and kiss you softly, his hands wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him.

Kuroo smirked against your lips as you moved your hands up to lightly tug on his hair,” You know, the janitors closet locks from the inside.”

“ Are you suggesting we have sex in a dirty closet? What if someone walks by and hears us?”

“ Get your head out of the gutter, I never said anything about sex,” Kuroo acted shocked as he tucked a strand of hair before leaning down to whisper in your ear,” unless you think you can be quiet for me.”

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and led him into the janitors closet right beside the restrooms,” Whatever, we both know you’re the loud one.”

“ We’ll see about that kitten.”

The next morning, Kuroo went to practice normally but not without weird murmurs from his teammates. At first, he thought his secret was out and maybe you had left hickeys across his neck but it was an entirely different mark that he had forgotten about.

“ Woah, buddy, did you get into a fight? I’m pretty blind but I’m pretty sure you didn’t have that bruise at dinner yesterday,” Bokuto said in awe as he tried to touch the large bruise that was on Kuroo’s cheek,” that is a bruise! Akaashi, come look at this!”

Kuroo swatted his hand away and used his phone camera to get a better look at his face. Turns out, you had punched him way harder than he had initially thought.

Kuroo couldn’t even think of a lie in time so he tried to reveal as little as possible,” Who am I going to fight around here?”

“ I don’t know...has anyone seen Lev?” Akaashi asked right as Karasuno entered through the gym doors.

“Kuroo! Did you kill Lev? You can be honest with me I wouldn’t tell a soul!” Bokuto shouted loudly as a few heads turned in their direction.

Your ears perked up once you heard Kuroo’s name and as you turned to look over at the boys, your heart immediately dropped when you saw the bruise you had left Kuroo.

Without thinking, you dug into one of the coolers and pulled out an icepack, even though it was a little too late to ice it down.

You rushed over to Kuroo, not caring that some people had their attention on you as you pressed it against his face,” That looks really bad, I’m so- um what happened?”

“ Kuroo killed Lev!” Bokuto teased as Akaashi gave him a stern look that quickly shut him up.

You sighed as you looked up at Kuroo and bit the inside of your cheek before whispering softly,” I think we should tell everyone before you get in trouble. You know Nekoma has a no-tolerance policy for fighting and I don’t want it to be a rumor that you got into a fight with someone.”

“ I know, you’re right but can we wait until the rest of my teammates get here?” Kuroo asked as you gave him a confused look,” I want them to be jealous just for a bit.”

You shook your head with a smile as Kuroo placed his hand over yours that was holding up the icepack,” Okay, just for a bit.”

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hospitalterrorizer · 11 months

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diary60

11/10-11/2023

friday - saturday

a worrisome day.

today began okay. i don't remember my dream. no, i do, another one about vacation, this time, in the desert, on the way to some kind of theme park, in an ugly little town, an ugly little rollercoaster, a sideshow attraction, it turned out to be where we were headed, and in a family restaurant stuck to the attraction, we sat, plastic from 1991, graphics from 1991, it reminded me of all the old mcdonald's playplaces, it made me feel dirty. the car felt impossible and fast, we were a bullet along the desert, it used to be an ocean floor, i thought about that, the coaster had an aquatic theme. fast like crashing waves, maybe something about tsunamis. orange-red letters fly across a wave, the graphic that advertised it. i was there, an amalgam of a family, all the one's i've had, my gf's mom, my father, my extended family in all circles met in a center i don't ever want to see materialize, and i felt trapped all over again. i really have been traumatized by travel i think. it's good for your soul, but i go to these ugly places, my dreams absorb new terrain, but it all makes me sad. all i can say is oh well, tonight's only made me sad, i say oh well, i hope by the end of everything i will be there laughing, like my friend was tonight, after sobbing, in fury i think, about a man she's served at work came in and kept asking about her breasts. she couldn't say anything, her coworkers didn't do anything. i was wishing the whole time i was hearing that i heard, and that if i heard, i would do something. but what if i didn't, i could be a coward, apparently everybody's a coward, it's 90% of the world. that makes me want to kill myself. i don't want to be a coward, and i never want to have to prove i'm not, because i don't want the world to be bad, but the world is bad. we are on a cursed star. i don't think it's possible to say otherwise.

first tonight, was the breast themed birthday party. it was sad, the woman turned 26, she got very drunk, natural i guess, a 35 year old alcoholic in denial because she only gets wasted socially and every day is social and every day is a party and begging for shots is just fun and not a suicidal urge making itself a joke like everyone's trained themselves to do, kept asking everyone to take shots. she entered the room, and said: shots, i think it's time for shots. it was like a cartoon. she does this all the time. the woman who was being celebrated, she had a shambolic casual sex situation she was trying to handle, the man saying he can't anymore, while still showing up to the party, showing some kind of interest still. maybe he just really wants to be friends, and wants things to be pure between them. i hope that's the case, i don't want more men to be evil. at the same party, a 35 year old man who had been evil to a 26 year old woman, not the same one celebrating, another, were both there, and he alone and she with friends, all hating him silently. we don't know how he was evil. it just makes me sick knowing, distantly, that it was something unforgivable. all the people kept partying, i got upset at my girlfriend as she got very drunk, and got handsy, and wouldn't listen to me, i asked her to not scream my name during the part of the night where they judged breasts and she screamed my name for the nip slip award or whatever (the award being tiny and plastic and useless). she says no one cares, i saw people staring but less than that, i asked her not to, but she did, that still upsets me, even after this pretty long night, it still sticks under the skin. i wish she didn't, how hard is it to respect me even a little. i know she does, so i'm just being dramatic. everything just makes me sick now. i got to see our couple friends, they were very nice, and happy to be with us, we chatted shit about the people there. i said loudly, to one: these people don't care about me. and i said loudly, at the room: these poet-artists don't care about me, or anyone, i am invisible and i could be crushed like an insect, i am here to be crushed, no one cares, no one hears or sees. no one heard or saw. i know outbursts like that only make people uncomfortable. something is wrong with me and i kept doing it tonight. maybe i'll remember more to say about the party tomorrow. the celebrator touched my arm weird, in pulses, sadly i think. people said i was pretty, because i think they thought i didn't want to go up out of shame, and not because i just know i didn't want to. anyway, maybe more on this tomorrow.

we went to a rave. the music upset me, until a certain point. all the same, all minimal techno and hard to the point of being a grey 90 degree angle, and the same forever, until a song came on everyone recognized, and they posed a little and whatever. there was a dog, there was a baby. they are important. the dog was ugly but beautiful, the baby was sad. we met my other friend there, he made a joke about wanting to kick the bassist out of his band, but i wanted it to not be a joke. it's so much to put in writing. i am so tired. i will try and journey fully, for nobody, myself only. i couldn't hear that well, i put earplugs in, the music doesn't matter, only the people matter, so i hovered around them as much as possible, just talking, everything was important but i like those secrets. at one point, i ran off, around the corner, i stood on the corner watching some cars, i think i must have looked like a lady of the night, a car stopped on the corner, a stop sign, for so long, i can't fathom why other than to hope maybe i would come over or something. obviously i didn't. a guy on his bike did a double take at me, i think to figure out whether or not i have a cock. my gf and my friend's gf but also our friend and her friend and you know, came around the corner, i ran off again and triggered this thing to go off, like, an alert, a woman's automated voice rang into the night that we were being monitored in a restricted area.

when we came back, we lingered outside, and i was leaning against this shutter door thing. a woman in a crop top came out, super low rise jeans too, and was flirting with a man, her friend with her flirting with another. crop top produced a bag of drugs, did a keybump. i kept saying, oh my god she has drugs, she did drugs off a key, oh my god, god and jesus and her dad and mom and the cops and earth saw and knows forever. over and over again. i don't know why. it was funny. later on, we got to a long discussion about the bass player, my friend wasn't there, only the other friend who is his lover and my gf and myself. saying basically: he is a guy only in a band to get laid, he wants to be the face of the band, he doesn't even want to play bass anymore really, his ego is huge. just all kinds of shit. then we left, with our friend. we talked to him about it in the car, we talked to him about it in the restaurant. basically, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know the bassist well even, he doesn't understand him fully, other people feel how we feel even, and my friend is also totally disengaged with the band, he's become bored with it, and he feels like after this, he'll never do another one again. i hope that's not true, i want him to just be happy again though, with music, and if maybe giving up on band stuff would help him, then whatever. but he is a very good musician, he should be listened to, but isn't, because his bandmates want to stick themselves to an ugly trend rn, of becoming a band that's like deftones kind of. before that though, my gf and our friend went off to this front room, the rave still happening, but this was a warehouse attached to an apartment almost, basically, and the baby was there, and the dog, and what my friend and i saw as we walked to our gfs, was his holding the baby, consoling it while it shrieked, and my gf, weeping, saying this baby is going to have a worse life than she did, and that this is like trainspotting, and weeping. and neither of us knew what to do. the dog was alone with the baby before, protecting it. the mother came eventually, someone who owned the business i suppose, or related to that end of things. it made me want to cry too, i didn't. i felt bad for everything. we saw a white claw in the drink holder part of the baby carriage. the world is very bad.

now i'm home. we ate at a restaurant, talked about things with my friend, he is just very depressed right now, and it's almost like there's not much pulling him out, other than being around people. it's sad that music isn't doing it for him. he is very angry right now too it feels like, i understand, he is like stuck and it's because of others in part, and shedding that weight would be selfish, but maybe that would be best. everyone feels impotent tonight, i feel bad for everyone, i can't help him, or his gf, with simply suffering for being born and being attractive to men, being treated as a place to stuff desire.

i am glad i saw them though, i love my friends. i guess at least something feels nice about knowing we can handle bad times together.

these circumstances could not make anyone happy.

byebye!!!!!

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