#i know a lot of people dislike him but he’s my little meow meow

[friendlyfaded]

i pass a note to christian redacted during class that reads “do u like me y / n” and kick my feet smiling at him until he returns it

[partywithponies]

Glossary of media discussion terms I invented myself and then bring up casually as though you should know what I mean (AKA Tash Translation Guide):

The Inherent Eroticism of Solving Crimes Together:

the simple fact that the kinds of common character dynamics between the two leads of any given detective or mystery or police show (i.e. trust, devotion, talk of being "partners", sneaking around together in the dead of night) are often very easily read as romantic or sexual to fandom-brained people, even if that obviously wasn't the intention. Even if one of them's already married. Even if there's a 30 year age gap. Doesn't matter

The Holliday Grainger Effect/Holliday Grainger Syndrome:

Named for the actress Holliday Grainger and the MULTIPLE TIMES she has been cast as the less attractive/less desirable narrative foil to the more conventionally attractive and desirable female lead, as though we're all supposed to pretend Holliday Grainger isn't also an incredibly beautiful woman

The Milton Keynes Conspiracy:

Named for my joke conspiracy theory about the teen soap Grange Hill, in which I claim that within the Grange Hill universe, Milton Keynes isn't actually a real place, and that whenever a character disappears suddenly with the only explanation given being that they "moved to Milton Keynes", that was just code for them having been disappeared by the government for getting too close to The Truth™️, and every time something odd or unexplained happens or something major is just brushed under the rug and forgotten about, that was all just shady alien-related government activity and all part of The Milton Keynes Conspiracy. I tend to bring up The Milton Keynes Conspiracy whenever a show's canon, continuity, or geography makes absolutely no sense under close scrutiny and the only "logical" explanations left are things like time loops or aliens or cracks in space and time or government conspiracies.

Bastard Man (Affectionate) and Bastard Man (Derogatory):

A very important distinction. The sparknotes version is that a Bastard Man (Affectionate) is a Card Carrying Bastard who does it all with charm and charisma and confidence, knows they're a bastard and takes a twisted pride in it, and is at least funny about it, while the Bastard Man (Derogatory) is just whiny and sad and won't actually admit to being a bastard man, and usually the narrative won't admit it either and keeps treating him like a tragic hero no matter what. Has a tendency to just get away with stuff with no payoff and isn't even funny about it. Shares a lot of DNA with:

Sadboy:

My absolute least favourite character archetype, though that's purely subjective and there are still SOME Sadboys I like. I know that my opinions are not universal because part of the reason I have such a visceral dislike for them is because they're often tumblr sexymancoded and I cannot escape them in the show's tags. They're wet. They're pathetic. They're miserable. And they're pretty. Usually played by a skinny pale white boy. (Like I said. Tumblr sexymancoded). And because of this, the show and the fandom alike will expect you to ignore the fact they're an awful person and excuse everything they've ever done wrong. Look, you can't be mad at them, look how sad they are about it. Look at their big wet puppydog eyes. In fact they haven't done anything wrong at all and you're crazy for saying they have. It's everyone who was mean to him who is wrong and his wife/girlfriend is a bitch for getting mad at him. He's just a sad wet little meow meow. Ugh. Disgusting. When will [REDACTED ACTORS HERE] answer for what they and their characters have done to me.

[shadowcatzone]

-pov venti fell into a crate filled with fish not only does he dislike the smell; the cats seem to have grown rather fond of him-

You got startled by the sudden, rapid knocking on your door. "Give me a minute!" You don't remember inviting anyone; but this is mondstadt, sometimes people just drop by. "Never so urgently though..."

As you got closer to the door, you heard it. Mumbling, whining, sneezing and occasional cursing. And cats. Probably a lot, considering the meowing.

You unlocked the door and opened it slightly, to see what exactly was going on, but venti already pushed past you, cats trailing after him. You barely manage to grab most of them and pushed them back out.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop the poor bard from sneezing, nor from complaining. "Those little- demons! ...have been following me the whole way here!" "That doesn't surprise me, did you go fishing or..."

He sighed dramatically, before telling his tale of woe. "I was near the port when it happened! I was up all night, so i closed my eyes for but a moment of respite-" "venti, get to the point" "i was! Well, i may have lost to sleep for a second... and fell into a crate with fish. But the smell - it's not coming off! I've tried everything!"

Now it was your turn to sigh. "let me finish the story for you. you tried to blow it out but neither north nor south, east nor west, either of the great winds were able to free you from your woes!" He whistled "not bad. But no, i did actually jump into the lake to get rid of it. Twice."

"Did you try soap?" "Do i look like i'm carrying soap on me??" You started massaging your temples. "That's not- okay. Why don't you use my bath? Oh, and hand me your clothes, i'll wash them."

So you did. While he was bathing, you picked something he could wear while his clothes were being washed, and ultimately, drying. Luckily, you two had approximately the same size. Which was strange, but you didn't know ventis exact age, so you decided not to dwell on it.

When he was out of the bath, you handed him a drink. "Seriously, how do you fall into a crate?" He pondered a minute. "Well, you'd be surprised." You decided to leave it at that, and instead listened to his stories about the traveler, as you cuddled into him in front of the fireplace.

[blue-banana-milk]

nah cause tell me why this man is my #1 brain parasite what the FUCK

okay, personal Diluc headcanos even tho Ive never played the game, shut up:

Cat person, shut up

Everyone mischaracterizes this man as an asshole and that's such bullshit

It's a front that he puts on but the moment he sees a little meow meow HE IS MELTING

If it's a kitten: is very careful and makes sure to guide them back to their litter/mom and gives them little head scratches

If it's a full grown cat: admires from affar with the urge to go up and pet them. let's them approach him as to not bother or scare off the cat

LOVES holding them in his arms so he can pet and nuzzle their little faces, it's his favorite way to relieve stress while working

bonus: has a very big soft spot for small animals in general

he has freckles, shut up, he does

he got teased for them when he was a kid and by proxy, doesn't like when people comment on them

Has burn scars that have caused severe damage to his hand and forearms, therefore wears lots of gloves and longsleves, is almost never seen without them

doesn't like taking them off and and especially not in front of others

he gives "loved school and was really good at it" vibes which came in handy later down the line

NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, this mf was busy on his killing spree, no time for ladies

but still upholds his gentleman virtues and treats everyone with basic respect cause he's not a dick he just is bad at expressing his emotions

He feels like the type of person to very heavily dislike the use of profanity but once HE starts using it, you know you fucked up BAD.

Bonus: is very careful with his wording around children

Speaking of kids, he can tolerate them and is kind of fascinated by them with the way they think

He's okay with not being the person the kids go up to, but on the rare occasion that one does, you better believe he is treating them so kindly and so sweetly, maybe even giving them a smile

Has adopted Donna in his mind and doesn't mind the fact that she seems to hate his guts, he still treats her kindly and respectfully, goes out of his way to protect and care for her like a big brother/dad

Same thing with Klee

He definitely donates his money, come on

he wears a nightgown to bed, COME ON

goes to bed with his hair down and wonders why his hair is all messy in the morning

Not all his scars from his years as a man on the run; some are from his childhood (aside from the mental scarring) like small scrapes or cuts from playing outside

Has a REALLY BAD habit of overworking himself but not to the point of getting himself sick/risking his health, still pushes himself a little too much tho

Has definitely fallen asleep at his desk more than once

Has definitely called Adelinde Mom/mother in both childhood and adulthood

She thinks it's adorable

THIS MAN IS STACKED AS FUCK

he is buff as fuck and forgets his own strength sometimes, especially when it's inventory day and hes moving a shit ton of boxes without breaking a sweat

uuuuuhhhhh

fat milkers, don't @ me

that's all folks

I'll probably do another one of these where's it's focused on Diluc as a romantic partner

also sorry for being so passive aggressive, I just really like Diluc :3

[kinnbig]

Apparently us Boston apologists gotta stick together cause this is getting ridiculous the takes I'm seeing and the woobie-fying of characters like Ray, Top (even Nick now!) to villainize Boston to the extreme are WILD.

YEAH! Boston is an asshole and a bad friend - and so is everyone else in this show fjckskcks they’re all toxic they’re all manipulative they’re all shitty people.

like. Ray is absolutely manipulating Sand - he knows Sand is struggling financially and so he literally pays him to spend time with him, offering him ridiculous sums of money that he knows Sand can’t refuse - offers twice to pay him for sex - and then follows him to his place of work and continues to push for them to sleep together a second time, even after Sand turns him down - but we’re not talking about that in the same way!!

and I think it’s due to a mixture of things - I think it’s partially that FirstKhao are an existing established pairing that fans want to end up together no matter what - but I do think a lot of it is about Boston being shown to be sexually active and promiscuous.

I think the age-old stereotype of the sex-obsessed, promiscuous, predatory gay man continues to influence people’s reading of Boston as a character. they see all of these characters being toxic and manipulative and selfish - but one of them is also shown cruising, propositioning multiple men, and having explicit on-screen sex with multiple partners - and centuries of media tropes and homophobic stereotypes have conditioned us to see those traits and conclude villain.

and again! I’m not saying that Boston is actually a perfect angel or that no one’s allowed to dislike him as a character or talk about his flaws - and I’m not talking about Ray here to suggest that he’s a villain and we should all be writing think-pieces about how toxic and manipulative and predatory he is instead. and I’m definitely not arguing that people should stop the fun tumblr blorboification of these characters! there’s nothing wrong with being like “Ray is my poor little meow meow” or “Nick is a babygirl who has done nothing wrong in his life ever” etc etc - it’s fun and silly and we all have our favourite guys.

I’m only pointing out that firstly, the majority of this woobification is applied to every character but Boston - who is unfairly considered unforgivably manipulative rather than a poor little meow meow for traits that are celebrated in other characters - and that secondly it is, like you say, being used to further villainise Boston by portraying the others (but especially Nick) as innocent unsuspecting victims to Boston’s evil manipulative Predatory Gay ways.

[nicktheman1032]

HELLOOOO! This is Lampkeeper! And welcome to my corner of the universe~!

Lil bio:

Name: Atticus / Lee

Gender: three feral rats with rabies in a trenchcoat

Pronouns: any!! I don't care!!

Lamps: 100000003067 lamps

Sexual orientation: asexual

Romantic orientation: aromantic + homoro-oriented (gay asf)

Likes: Fandoms (preferably small fandoms), food (specifically chicken nuggets), sleeping, lamps, goobers, cats, salmon, winter, dragons (will ramble for hours), b r e a d, sweaters!!!

Dislikes: Loud noises, excited dogs, pollen (is allergic), mosquitos (VERY allergic), strong spices, lots of clothes, summer.

Special interests: Dragons, cats, I Expect You To Die, Portal, The Stanley Parable, Rise of the TMNT, Megamind (somehow), science in general.

Kinned characters: Donnie (ROTTMNT), The Narrator (TSP), Wheatley (Portal 2), Pheonix (IEYTD), Megamind (c'mon, you know this one), William Afton (FNAF- don't ask.), The Spot (Spider-man ATSV)

Physical features: Long-ish dark brown hair, tanish skin despite rarely going outside, brown eyes, 5 feet 6 inches tall, often wears casual clothing but wears a skirt on Sunday, depending on who he's with, he almost never smiles.

Notes: Was never tested for autism or ADHD, but has a strong belief he has both (with research to back him up). Staying with the label neurotypical until the belief is strong enough to self-diagnose. DEFINITELY has anxiety. Might also be dyslexic- constantly misreads words. Is also a therian + otherkin; cat therian + duck therian (WILL meow and WILL purr, don't blame him) + dragon otherkin (WILL roar and WILL hiss). Has an odd belief he's not human.

!! THIS USER IS A SYSTEM !!

Will there be a "meet the artist" drawing soon? Yes, yes there will be. Will I draw myself accurate to my IRL self? Yes. Yes I will. Will I also draw my little alien persona? Yes. In several ways. Will I draw my fursona and his two halves? Absolutely.

For Roleplay under the cut!! vvvv

Blue text is for when Agent Felix talks

Purple text is for when Lampkeeper talks

Classic text is when I/The Narrator am speaking

Red text for Dr. Zor, Orange text for Hivemind, Yellow text for Charlie Caliente, Green text for John Juniper.

These all take place in the IEYTD universe.

Felix lore:

Agent Felix joined Zoraxis's team when he was just a little kid, probably about third grade. If he went to school, lol, which he didn't.

He just wandered around a town all day, doing whatever he could to learn. Zor found him- Zor was about mid-thirties at the time- and just straight up adopted Felix. Zor gave Felix lessons on basic stuff like reading, math, etc., basically just all the elementary school stuff- except it only took 2 years. Zor, obviously, was surprised so he gave Felix some options and Felix chose technology.

Zor gave him everything he could to Felix on the subject, and by age 12, Felix had the technology expertise as a mad scientist. Felix started doodling after Zor adopted him, the doodles being very happy in general. Over time, they got.. concerning.. and Zor didn't know what to do about that.

Eventually, as more people joined Zoraxis, the more Felix was left alone with his little inventions. Occasionally, Zor, Hivemind and Charlie visited him (and were the only ones that celebrated his birthday), rarely Solaris for business. Felix loved Hivemind and Charlie like family.

The death engine was built when Felix was thirteen years old, him being oblivious to what he and Solaris were building. Agent Pheonix had seen him during Operation: Seat of Power, and recognized him as a kid.

When the death engine fired for the first time, Felix was devastated. Maybe a bit traumatized. He hated himself for being so oblivious to what he built. He didn't talk, eat or anything for days, even after he heard that Agent Pheonix had stopped the Death Engine. In fact, Felix felt worse becuase people had died.

Pheonix came back after a day or two of recovery and brought Felix to the agency. The agency convinced Felix to join (hesitantly) and almost gave up after ten minutes until Felix finally said one word: "okay". His mental recovery lasted 2 weeks, his fourteenth birthday two days after. His drawings started returning to a happier-looking state during the time. Felix waited a month and a half for agent training to begin, and when it did, it was too slow to match his learning pace. Regardless, he did what he was told without complaint. ...until they gave him a bomb to diffuse.

They knew perfectly well he couldn't diffuse bombs. They gave him one anyways. He had to run to other agents to find someone who could diffuse bombs. Felix was trying to figure out for days why they gave him a bomb. No clear answer was found.

Felix often has regrets leaving Zoraxis, since he misses everyone and he misses being useful. Usually he just looks at his shirt and he no longer has regrets, but recently it hasn't been working. He has a lot of conflicting emotions. He tries to stop the regrets by telling him stuff like "it feels great to be good" (as you know) and stuff like that. They've been working, but not much. The agency is constantly worried he'll switch sides again, but they don't know what to do about it since they don't want to get near him.

Felix doesn't know it, but Zor, Hivemind and Charlie miss him. Zor has had his eyes on Felix since he left and has been hoping he'd come back. The whole John Juniper thing was half-planned in hopes Felix would be sent on a mission. (I'm listening to This Is What Autumn Feels Like right now and it's throwing ideas like this at me ashgdhwhdhend)

Then Felix gets kidnapped, he runs away, you know the drill if you were reading/involved in it. He came back worse than before, almost back to his old state after the death engine. His memory was a little more messed up and he has major trust issues.

The end :]

[irlcats-bracket]

BRACKET 2 FINALS 2: THE THIRD PLACE BATTLE

CASPER versus MR CRINKLES

CASPER

The definition of "The lights are on but nobody's home" this is in fact an extremely pretty boy and likely a subcategory of himbo. He is so friendly and yet so intimidating to strangers. A big ol baby. Bastard son of a Maine Coon, a Siamese, and a Mountain Lion. Thinks of nothing but snacks and snuggles.

PROPAGANDA

Behold! My son! Much like his father, a grumpy old man since birth despite not looking a day over 10 (What do u mean he's almost 12?!)

Big old baby who much enjoys snuggles, snacks, and escaping out onto the front patio to sit frozen on the steps until someone realizes he escaped and saves him from the big scary outside

He has also learned v well that if he tucks himself under an arm he gets to watch his dad knit/crochet

. . . . ngl I didn't expect to get this far so

more photos for the wonderful folks who voted for my dear boy

he's had a tendency to make that particular face since dental work means he had to get his top fangs removed and I find it hysterical

One last bit of propaganda just to sweeten the pot

MR CRINKLES

He is very large by genetics but also hes fat. Hes got black fur but in certain lights its brown. Hes got yellow eyes that are very large (like him). He loves cuddling and bullying submitter's other cat (sometimes and she bullies him back so its even) Hes scared of people who he doesn't know well and somehow fits himself into the tiniest of spaces. He just goes limp when submitter picks him up. He likes to play but he does it with as little effort as possible. He likes to sit by the window and make noises at the birds.

PROPAGANDA

We got him from an animal shelter, and he used to be a scrawny little thing. He loved food and would go as far as to Dive Under the legs of our other cat to get to the bowl. He used to chase birds into the house when he was younger, but as he's gotten older, he makes fewer attempts at hunting. Now he just lays around and watches the birds from the window. Hes very cuddly. He'll storm into my room (often in the middle of the night) demanding to be cuddled and pet. Hes a big cat and very fluffy. He goes limp if you pick him up and often "melts" off of furniture :3

Hiii more pawpaganda for my boy Mr. Crinkles

Today we will be highlighting his silly little relationship with his "sister" Frankie :3

We got Frankie after we got Crinkles. She was old and would hiss at him whenever he passed her, for apparently no reason. Later though, we found that he would hide behind things, and Jump Out At Her just to scare her. They fought a lot at the beginning but now they're on more stable grounds. Sometimes youll catch them sleeping on the couch together (though i dont think they want us to know they like each other)

Theyll still chase eachother around the house and frankie still hisses at his for no reason sometimes. But I think its more of a sibling thing then a real dislike :3

- Crinkles has many nicknames !! Such as, chub chub, crinky butt, stinker, meow meow, crinkle maninkle (we love making up words), handsome and so many more its stupid

-If you meow at him, he will meow back! If you meow at him enough, he will run up to you and body slam your legs

-He doesnt mind getting his nails trimmed. He will lay on his back with his head dangling over your legs and you can cut away

-He can be a bit of a stinker sometimes, sometimes biting us for no reason (softly but still, ouch!) But, if you tell him not to, or my personal favorite, "thats not nice. we dont do that", he will simply glare at you and sulk away

-If our dog walks up to him, he will groom her. Its very cute

-We have bird feeders in our windows, when he sees the birds, hell sit by the window and make little clicking noises

-Hes also just very cute and a little dumb and so you should vote for him :3

Lots more photos of him:

[sketching-shark]

Ngl sometimes i feel bad abt disliking LMK so much because some of my friends like it alot and one of them hyperfixates on it. But then i remember just how badly it fucked up in depicting Sun Wukong's character that im pretty sure even villainous portrayals of him in media have given him more dignity, how Six ears basically got woobified and Karma Houdinied despite the show itself showing him as a pretty fucked up villain in S1, how much the Eng Dub butchered the hell out of the Bull Demon Family's dynamic and that this show basically removed one of the core aspects of the story (Buddhism) and then i suddenly dont feel that bad anymore.

Plus its not like they know my actual opinions abt it. As long as they dont ask i think im good lol

Monkie Kid spoilers & complaining & likely exaggerating things below so avert thine eyes if you don't want to see all that

gterewfs not to add even more to the apparently intolerable trend of bringing up Xiyouji when talking about Monkie Kid but it is kind of funny how I've now seen multiple people say a lot of their dislike of the lego show comes from knowing how Sun Wukong can be depicted when he's not being written as a cringefail hermit (X_X). And as is @seasonalsummers if pressed you can probably just tell your friends that Monkie Kid just isn't your thing & leave it at that. Because yeah I've spoken before how it's not fair to expect people to make their way through the ~1,400 pages of the best English translation of the og classic in developing their sense of the journey and Sun Wukong's whole deal, and the vast diversity of depictions of the Monkey King in retellings does seem to stand testament to how much this monkey can be changed to suit the needs of a story. And as is the existence of Zaju Xiyou Ji does demonstrate how even in China this monkey's had bouts of being depicted as little more than a selfish clown, so maybe this is just the west's version of that lol.

THAT SAID, aaaaaAAAAAAA yeah genuinely is baffling and frustrating watching many people cheer and clap for what feels like the constant traumatization of Qi Xiaotian and the constant use of Sun Wukong as Monkie Kid's punching bag. Like heavens to betsy Flying Bark has so relentlessly focused on how thoroughly SWK screws up everything in both the past and the present and apparently, on his own admission, spent the entirely of his immortality doing little except making one mistake after another (i.e. routinely fucking up his life and the lives of everyone around him) that one really is left wondering why any of the show's cast would want to be even within 50 miles distance of this monkey, which is definitely something made all the more awesome by the sense that maybe the main reason is because the obvious villains of every season are explicitly trying to take over/ blow up the entire world rather than blundering their way into that position :(. And that's a dynamic definitely made even MORE awesome by everyone's favorite poor little meow meow never did anything wrong ever the Six-Eared Macaque spending the majority of his screen time both beating the tar out of Qi Xiaotian and telling anyone who will listen what a dumb bitch Sun Wukong is before the show then bends over backwards to validate his claims all while making sure he's never even slightly called out for the shit he pulls, with the clear favoritism made all the more clearer by such facts as Sun Wukong got screamed at by Long Xiaojiao in an extensive and dramatic scene for putting basically the monkie gang and the entirety of reality in danger through his doofus decisions and yet even though she literally watched the shadow simian beat Qi Xiaotian into unconsciousness and literally had her life seriously threatened by this same monkey until Tang Shifu started oh yeah the Fire of Samadhi ritual she's apparently perfectly fine with working with Mr. Six not long after. Add on top of that the way it now feels like SWK's not even really allowed to be friends with anyone except Macaque or even to interact with any of his other former besties in any meaningful way, and well this is really making for a not fun situation that keeps steering the plot away from some of the most interesting fun and heartfelt things that Monkie Kid could have done. And then on top of that Flying Bark has now shown themselves to have this habit of spending the majority of each season focusing on what a screw-up SWK is before waiting until the last possible episode before characters who up to that point couldn't have made their hatred for the Monkey King and Qi Xiaotian by extension more clear start pulling out abrupt and honestly hand-wavey reasons for why they suddenly like him. IDK! I like a good redemption arc but that's not something you can speedrun and then pretend like it's even remotely satisfying! And definitely doesn't do SWK any favors with the way he just stands there maybe looking kind of sad while someone yells at him for sucking entire before he runs off to suck at everything again and is barely ever allowed to be explicitly and messily upset about that or about what a colossal failure his life is or idk mayhaps what happened to the og pilgrims that apparently resulted in their premature deaths!! For as much as people keep saying they want characters to redeem themselves through living and working to be better and be upset and fucked up about their pasts well it sure might be nice in this situation if we actually got to spend some time on that instead of just relentlessly piling one catastrophic blunder on top of the other! tsetawraer sorry for the rant but yeah still pretty shocked on how much a silly lego show that started off as having fun adventures with the Monkey King would turn into the grimdark adventures of Young Man Traumatized, Asshole Goku, and the Stalker Shadow (X_X)

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

1, 2, 8, 15, 18, 20 and 23 for Nozel, if it's okay (since he was already asked).

MORE BRAIDBOY okay let's goooo

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

The general theme of this post will be: I like him, because he makes one think, and is a complex, well thought out character. And I like exploring his softer side too, especially since we don't see it a lot in canon.

He's one of The Poor Little Meow Meows of this fandom, but I mean that in the positive sense.

You kinda wanna slap him and hug him at the same time /lh (or maybe nip that hairclip off of his braid, comb his hair back with one's fingers and kiss him, as he's looking surprised, a bit appalled, and confused)

Anyways... he's just neat. I'm writing this post from the last point to thee first, so I know what I've written into the following points ^^'

He's someone who deserves retribution, and is trying to own up to his mistakes. And I want to see how the Silva redemption arc plays out

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

The complexity of his character. He's someone who... has had the very best intentions, but had no tools to handle the situation in which he was placed. He has done bad things, but he is a good person.

He just doesn't want to loose anyone else again

8. What’s something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

"Nozel deserves to die for how he treated Noelle!" "He's a shitty human being and he should [get treated in a horrendous way]" (sometimes including get treated horribly by Noelle) "He should think that Noelle died, so that he'd REALLY FEEL AWFUL"

Basically... just completely ignore the nuances of the story and write Nozel off as someone who is unworthy of redemption. There is a reason why I have a "Nozel protection squad" tag on my blog. As in, no one is saying that Nozel has done the right thing, because... he hasn't!? And his intention doesn't justify the means, but there is so much more to the story than just a shitty older brother.

He did bad things, but he isn't a bad person. And this is actually a rather complicated theme for a show that's aimed at teens/young adults (which is also why I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see this phenomenon). But I'd wish that it'd make people think. To see different aspects of the story.

Tabs has written the Silvas very well, and to brush off so much of the narrative is just... I don't like it.

15. What’s your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not.)

Hm, hm... I mean, prefer my mutuals' OC ships with him over any other (including my own oc ship, which I created 'cause I thought Nozel needs cuddles). Because they hit that right spot for me, but if we talk about canon characters (the ship being non-canon ones still because... they just are, there's no proved canon ship for him), I guess I like... Nozessa the best.

Dorothy is more of a good friend to Nozel (or a therapist, of a kind) than a companion/spouse, and I think that the relationship (in the word's extended meaning) is important just as it is. So, out of the options, I'd say Nozel x Vanessa to be my favourite between canon characters. (As said, I, personally, like oc pairings for him the most)

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

I really love the mother-son relationship he had with Acier (but also the angst that comes/came with it, and I applaud Tabs for the decisions he made). Acier really was the best mom, and she was raising a little gentleman, who since then wanted to protect his siblings, since he couldn't protect his mom.

Poor boy...

But I really, really like the mother-son relationship between Nozel and Acier from the little things we've seen

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn’t matter?

I really do think that he's best friends with Fuegoleon. So their friendship parallels (in a way) that of Asta and Yuno. And I think that they really could connect in such a wonderful manner if Nozel just let down his guard a little bit. By which I mean: talk! Really talk. Discuss. About things that aren't work related.

They're of similar age. Come from similar places in the society, so they have a lot of understanding for each other's struggles. They have similar job descriptions. There's so many similarities in their lives that they could really lend an ear to one and another.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Smiling Nozel, as a treat

[citrus-cactus]

CITRUS, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO TALK ABOUT YOUR POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOWS

DR. CRINGEFAIL: 2 4 14 21

SAD SCOTTISH MAN: 2 7 20 22

Enjoy!

BLESSINGS BE UPON YE, YOU KIND, HANDSOME, OBSERVANT STRANGER, YOU. MY CROPS ARE WATERED, MY FIELDS ARE THRIVING!!

Ask game here.

Under! The! Cut! Cuz! I’m! Embarrassed!

The one, the only, Noodle-In Chief:

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

It's not 100% clear to me, but it was definitely around the September timeframe of the novel (the first time I read it, in ‘22). I don't think it was OFFICIALLY too late for me until he met the Harkers at the end of September and Mina was like "Hey Jack. JACK. You keep your diary on all these wax cylinders, and they're not even LABELED?!" And Jack was like "...Um. Yeah, actually... that never even occurred to me." gOD, you IDIOT <3 (I may be paraphrasing). But it was this and several of his earlier blunders paired with his dogged determination to remain genre-blind and skeptical of everything that he was witnessing that ultimately endeared him to me. There Is Most Definitely Something Wrong With Him (derogatory) (affectionate).

He’s truly a problematic fave, but he’s my favorite character in the novel nonetheless!

4. How many people I ship them with

Um, the entire vampire-hunting polycule? THIS MAN DESERVES ALL THE KISSES where canonically he has none, and he deserved to be one of Lucy’s three husbands, fr fr :(

14. Best storyline they had

The incredibly tragic story, told in his own words, of how John “Jack” Seward, MD had to watch the woman he loved waste away and die of a mysterious ailment, interspersed with personal asides regarding how full of vigorous manhood all of his friends are, and how his former professor is so incredibly hot good at everything and spry for his age, but who also may be (in Jack's professional opinion) a touch crazy. Peak sopping wet noodle time, it’s amazing <3

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

September 30: "I got home at five o'clock, and found that Godalming and Morris had not only arrived, but had already studied the transcript of the various diaries and letters which Harker and his wonderful wife had made and arranged. Harker had not yet returned from his visit to the carriers' men, of whom Dr. Hennessey had written to me. Mrs. Harker gave us a cup of tea, and I can honestly say that, for the first time since I have lived in it, this old house seemed like home."

BUDDY!!!! T^T

"JUST SOME GUY(tm)”:

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

I mean, I’ve always liked him quite a bit (that voice, that tragic backstory, that Shakespearean flavor). But for whatever reason I didn't become obsessed until my rewatch last summer. CanNOT stop thinking about this man, the former king who has really just been a pawn his entire life; what he thinks, what he feels, how he's been going through the motions while searching for the one who betrayed him, yearning for a death that will not come for as long as he has. HE’S JUST SO SAD, YOU GUYS!!!!!

7. A quote of them that you remember

Every word that comes out of John Rhys-Davies’ mouth is SO GOOD, but the quote that sticks out the most is (of course) "KNOW her? I NAMED her." GODDDDDDD it's infinity good and I never get tired of hearing it, not even once (and since they use it in every relevant "Previously On," you hear it A LOT). It's ok though, because they 5000% knew what they were doing with that one.

Some other choice one-liners:

"I'm just… so... tired" is also top-tier delivery, and does a really great job of summarizing his entire existence since 1057.

"And I know how to read them" is such a sassy retort (and a GREAT callback to “Lighthouse in the Sea of Time”).

“For that matter… WHY ARE WE WORKING TOGETHER?” is sooooo *chef’s kiss.* Enjoy being a walking, talking meat puppet with your worstie for several more months, my guy!

20. A weird headcanon

Ummmmm soooooo I designed a gargoyle form for Mac as my headcanon for what he would've looked like in "The Mirror" (of course I did). My Watsonian explanation for why we didn't get to see him that night is he was way too busy getting drunk off his ass and crying over his long-dead wife (yet again) :C

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

990-some-odd years is a looooong time to find your lowest point. Even though moments like Gruoch’s marriage to Gillecomgain, his first “death”, the ending of “City of Stone,” and the middle of “Sanctuary” were pretty low moments for him, I’m quite sure his lowest point was never actually seen on the show (centuries-long depression isn’t exactly Disney Afternoon-friendly). The day(s) he found out about Luach and Gruoch’s deaths were obviously waaaaay up there. I imagine he had a really rough time of it during the Black Plague, so I’ll say his lowest point was somewhere in there :C :C :C

I do hope he was able to enjoy the Renaissance a little, tho. I’ll bet he commissioned a lot of art.

If you’ve read this far, THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY RAMBLING ABOUT THESE SAD, SAD FICTIONAL MEN!

[crysdrawsthings]

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Comes from THIS MEME! Accepting more :D

Well, let's see what do we have here.

It would be interesting to explore the story of Cassia and Asgeld, like, seriously. Because I think they got an interesting dynamic and interesting narratives. That I would for love of me not be able to properly work with, but you know.

Longer answer, so goes under cut!

Here is some content about who they are:

Starting from them growing up together as half-siblings, helping each other, having some hopes about what to do with their lives after things would eventually get better. Like, all the stuff they did together and made/got for each other and all this.

Cassia making Asgeld his little wooden pendant, Asgeld working with their father to forge her a fancy dagger, she teaching him reading/writing and him getting her all the fancy flowers for her alchemy experiments.

All, naturally, with the background of the majority of Orm's family disliking Linna somewhat and Cassia a lot due to the whole nord vs imperials tensions and what not. Like the whole Concordat thing, you know. I hope I am making sense. Like, also to say, Orm himself? Genuinely a cool dude and as soon as there happens to be a chance moved with Linna away to live in peace. Most of his family? Bastards with issues.

And then you know, it all ends with Asgeld happily leaving home to join Stormcloaks because of course this is the right thing to do! This is the nord thing to do, isn't he a hord? He is the nordest nord to ever nord! So he will join Ulfric and save Skyrim and you know, all the stuff, will help people and do a good thing, right?

And Cassia? The most wet and pathetic meow meow, fully accepting that she is kinda useless and apathetic about nearly everything. Leaves with Asgeld, but ends up on a wild trip across the province after almost poisoning Rolff in Wildhelm and then just vagabonding from town to town, getting kicked from one job after another.

Eventually ending up in Markarth and without a second of hesitation ratting people to Ondolemar (planting evidence perhaps too) for some quick money. Eventually ends up as a minimum wage token human janitor at the Embassy. Cassia "Well, I might as well make bootlicking for witch elves my permanent job" Illvia, you know.

Asgeld meanwhile generally enjoying his life in Windhelm and rising through the ranks and you know, having a good-enough time, even if getting slowly disillusioned in the whole Rebellion thing and some of the questionable leadership choices being made. But still full of hopes! He can make it work, right? He just needs to get higher up so his word will have more weight and then!

All this leads to how Cassia, already assigned to Valmir, eventually runs into Asgeld stationed in the Rift as well and how it is starts of this upbeat note of sibling reunion, and Asgeld being so happy to see his sister again, and tell her about all the stuff, and show her the camp, and treat her to some ale, and whatnot. This is his beloved sister, after all, and she is the best, right?

And Cassia on her end for a moment struggling with the situation, because, maybe, she can actually go with Asgeld, maybe she can actually stop doing, well, objectively awful stuff for people who mostly treat her like shit or like furniture, and in the end just, nah, I will steal your missives, I will drop some poison in your food and I will set everything on fire, because I am dead if I will leave, but if I will do what i do best and make the worst choice possible, maybe I will get some paid time off or a raise.

And so Asgeld gets his trust betrayed, some of his friends killed and his life kind of shattered, because of course he gets a lot of shit for what has happened, especially after him vouching so much for Cassia and all. His burning the pendant later and kind of, if he sees her again, this is on sight, but also genuinely grieving, because of everything good that was between them.

The end of his story being that after a particularly explosive conflict related to this situation he kind of just leave Stromcloaks and goes to find himself somewhere else, does some jobs here and there and eventually joins the group of Kyne worshippers, initially to guard them on the road, but then like, as an initiate into their religion.

Cassia? I honestly have no idea. Thalmor eventually leaves Skyrim when Elanor as Thurrahdaal comes into power, I doubt they would want to leave loose ends or drag some mildly useful janitor to a different province. So perhaps she gets the knife offscreen. On the other hand, she is still a host to a rather useful daedric spirit, so maybe she and Valmir go on to be awful people in Cyrodiil.

[vole-mon-amour]

2x01, Part 1.

Poor little meow meow. Somebody snap his neck pls.

*squeals* MY BABIES.

This is a 'I'm here for the crows only' territory. :)

Lmaooo. Jesper be like, "Yes boss. Hate to do nothing but ok, boss."

Things are moving rather quickly. What the HELL. Crooked Kingdom deserves its own damn SHOW, not this!! And the flashback immediately?? Omg. Then jesper handling his guns... No, don't touch Crooked Kingdom ;_;

HELL YEAH.

That's such a powerful acting. What a scene. No idea how people that didn't read the books watch this, but yeah.

*inhumane screeching* Remember when in the book Inej caught on Kaz having a panic attack? And how it's Jesper here, and he immediately tries to create a diversion and help him? KAZPER FOR THE PEOPLE. Also, Jesper calling him by his name.... Shamelessly falling into this Kazper void. My boys.

Can you IMAGINE how heavy that hand on Kaz's shoulder feels? Ahhh.

HELLOOOOO?????? WHAT [ARE] YOU DOING THERE. I mean, I remember some encounters of him and Kaz in the book, but HUH???? It was well closer to the end, if I'm not mistaken? Or was it in SAB? I already forgot since I didn't like SAB, only the crow series. I love how they show it though: Kaz noticing every detail, every difference.

Look how gorgeous.

My fav theme of Kaz and Jesper sharing and exchanging glasses continues. <3

Kaz is so done with Jesper when he's babbling, lol.

Don't you start this "Jesper has his doubts about Kaz" nonsense. Don't you dare.

The famous look. Kaz immediately being introduced to us as someone who knows about Jesper being a Durast... THINGS ARE MOVING RATHER SWIFTLY.

It was for your own sake, you fool. When are you gonna talk about Jordie with him? WHEN??

"When you shoot, you never miss."

I'm not really sure if Kaz pushing him like that is in character for Kaz. Sure, he's like that most of the time. But the only thing that Jesper intends to keep for himself, and Kaz NEEDING to see how Jesper turns that coin into a key? That's... not something I feel he'd do? I should definitely reread CK. I don't remember Kaz pushing Jesper like that. I understand they might need it for the sake of the show, but... I don't feel good about this. Kaz usually notices and keeps it to himself. Like when he sent Jesper and Wylan to a mental asylum, knowing Wylan's mom is alive, letting Wylan experience it at his own pace and grief through that moment. I'm very conflicted about this. I obviously like Kazper visuals, but not all of them are exactly good. We'll see.

That scene between Darkling and Alina... jfc, they're suffocating and pompous. I genuinely don't know if I dislike them in the show or in the books more. Both are bad lol.

And here we go with the posters around the city. Honestly, CK is all over the place here. Scattered.

The Menagerie... I am VERY cautious about how they'll portray that one. That storyline bothers me A LOT.

I mean, that's a valid question, considering their history.

I'm ready for a scene of ONE disabled Kaz beating up, what, 5 abled bodyguards of Rollins at the Crow Club? And pushing some of them down the stairs. Go, Kaz, go!!

Jesper is all dorky and all, but he isn't stupid. Why are they making him this way in the show?

[linabirb]

HELLO LINA!! 6, 7, 12, 21 for the violence ask game please and ty!!

HI HI TARU thank you for sending these! (i'm going to get executed after this)

6. "which ship fans are the most annoying?"

twst: *sighs and gets closer to the mic and whispers* malleyuu.

no listen. fine. okay. i get it. it's like the most popular mc ship. maybe the most popular ship in general. but. can y'all stop acting like it's canon at least for a second. it's one thing when you just go "oh they're cute and i think it's possible for them to become canon!" but it's a completely different thing when you go "THIS SHIP IS OBVIOUSLY CANON AND IT WAS WRITTEN TO BE CANON AND ACTUALLY THIS WHOLE GAME IS ABOUT THEM". and i say that as someone who actually liked this ship when i first got into the game but then i started to realize that i enjoy other ships much more and listen to each their own but i genuinely hate how people make such a big deal out of EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. yes call me a hypocrite because i act the same when it comes to my ships but at least i do it either with my friends or alone and i'm not actually trying to make other people feel bad about their ships or something. sure, i want to believe that most shippers don't have a "goal" like that, but sometimes.. it really does feel like a lot of those posts are just there to say "btw these two are canon and i won't let you forget it". and like?? so many people like to just make things up to make it seem like it really is the superior ship like remember how we talked about that one bday vignette line and i went through all the bday vignettes to show that mc saying malleus looked good in that outfit wasn't special and it wasn't them being especially nice to him and they complimented other guys too but some people went "SEE THIS IS PROOF THAT THEY'RE CANON". like sure, whatever, do what you want, but idk?? maybe don't claim that mc is giving him "special treatment" or something when it's not the case.

milgram: i don't think this fandom talks that much about ships, but even when some people do, i don't really mind? like idk i haven't really seen any people like that yet so yeah.

7. "what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?"

twst: HMMM this one is interesting because uhhh basically i started to hate pretty much all twst characters that i hate not bc of the fandom but simply because i don't like them? like i simply don't like those characters bc i either find them annoying, can't relate to them or i knew/know people like that irl and that makes me want to punch them even more. so yeah i don't think i have one! but if i already mentioned malleyuu. well. *gets closer to the mic again* malleus fans is this guy your uwu pure little soft baby or is this guy a cool powerful prince who doesn't even have to do anything because he's that cool. come on. come on yes i liked him too. yes i found him relatable too. but now i just really wanna say that. idk! maybe him not having any friends is kinda his fault! like this game tries so hard to make you feel bad for him it's embarrassing. it doesn't feel like a funny "haha get it he's based on maleficent" thing anymore. and i say that as someone who has anxiety and finds socializing extremely tiring and who doesn't have any irl friends. like sorry guys this is not your poor little meow meow and i am so tired of this fandom babying him and going "HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR" every time they see him. i'm not saying that finding him relatable is a bad thing bc i found him relatable too, but like. guys. please. again as someone who is also kind of a loner PLEASE. TALK TO PEOPLE. DON'T BE LIKE THIS MAN AND JUST GO "oh no nobody wants to talk to me :(" I KNOW HOW HARD IT CAN BE TRUST ME. i have so much more to say but i'll stop here bc sol's essay exists and it does a better job explaining it.

milgram: no characters here either bc i don't really have any character that i dislike or hate, like the worst thing that i can do is to just. not care about that character sjskslssdks and ngl. there's a lot of characters that i don't really care about

12. "the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them"

twst: *GRABS THE MIC* ONE DAY I WILL WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT WHY ROLLO UNIRONICALLY HAS MORE PERSONALITY THAN SOME "MAIN" CHARACTERS. listen. listen maybe it's just because i'm so tired of nrc characters that i need someone new. maybe. but the masquerade event really felt like a breath of fresh air and i will never shut up about it unless they make an event that is just as interesting. and twst has a lot of good events! ngl i actually kinda enjoy event stories more than the main story! but idk something about the masquerade is just. so. like they really gave us a whole new character (who is also voiced by hiroshi kamiya but also gets like two-three voicelines not counting the battle voicelines.), a whole new school, a whole new city, so much new lore, so much new worldbuilding-related stuff AND THEN JUST MOVED ON. I'M MANIFESTING PART 2 SO HARD. I WILL LITERALLY COME BACK TO WRITING FOR TWST JUST TO WRITE IT MYSELF IF WE DON'T GET ONE. (i'll be kinda ok with it if they make a halloween event that is just as fun but still..) but okay okay let me just. explain why i find this guy so interesting.

yes i also made fun of his design at first but now he's literally one of my fav characters to draw and not even bc i like him as a character. yes his outfit is extremely detailed and hard to draw but something about drawing it is so satisfying! also idk i love how tired and 😐 he looks bc dude same!! (i still don't know if he has dark circles or he wears eyeliner btw. i think he clearly has eyeliner in the trailer but in the actual game it's more like dark circles??)

i'm biased yes but the way he smiles is cute. like idk i think his smile is very soft :)

say what you want. say that he's manipulative because i agree this guy really did lie and really did betray everyone's trust, i'm not here to deny that, but i just want people to understand that this guy is not. like. as evil as they want to think he is. i'm not here to say that he's the kindest and most pure twst character or anything but i just want to say that if we don't count his goal and the way he tried to achieve it, it's clear that he really likes the city of flowers and he cares about it a lot, even if he's manipulative, he's very polite and nice to people, also based on what nbc students have said, he's a good student council president ("but he's just being manipulative-" AND SO WHAT?? BY BEING NICE (even if he's not sincere about it) HE'S ALREADY BETTER THAN MOST DORM LEADERS. RIDDLE (i say that as a huge riddle stan and apologist)?? LEONA?? AZUL (yes azul is also all nice and polite but let's be honest for a sec and admit that he's.. not really good at making it seem like he's not here for his goals or you know *mr.krabs' voice* FOR THE MONEY, basically it's obvious that he's not being honest, meanwhile with rollo, even if it's a lie, he actually makes people feel like he cares)?? NO SERIOUSLY I CAN GO ON JUST LOOK AT ALL THE DORM LEADERS except kalim. live laugh love kalim.

the fact that this guy is doing all the work, like taking care of the belltower, the gargoyles, etc, makes me cry every day. again, he really is doing more than some dorm leaders. and no, don't go "but (character name) did this thing once", like i'm pretty sure rollo does all those things every day.

listen. i'm gonna say it. when he was like "we should get rid of magic", i had that "the villain is kinda right" moment. because i'm sorry but twst is not really doing a great job at making us (or at least me personally) believe that magic can be good. like idk man. of course he should've done it differently, but i kinda think he was onto something. (wait oh no this sounds like a good fic idea-) i usually never agree with villains like that, but in this case.. idk, with all the overblots, people using their magic to do questionable things or to just be mean, etc..

have you seen me talk about T H E S C E N E on the server. wanna see me do that again. okay. AGAIN SAY WHAT YOU WANT. SAY THAT HE WAS GOING TO USE MC FOR SOMETHING. SAY THAT HE JUST HATES MAGIC USERS (which he does but that's not the point rn). BUT THAT ONE SCENE WHEN HE MEETS YUU SHOWS THAT HE'S ONE OF THE FEW CHARACTERS WHO ACTUALLY WENT "hey isn't that too much work for someone who's magicless" AND THAT'S ALREADY SOMETHING. i can say more but that will sound like i'm being biased (and i already sound like that) so i won't. NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I WANT ROLLO AND MC TO INTERACT AGAIN IN PART 2 SO BADLY. "oh yuu will just hate him" guess what. i've never said that i want their relationship to be all cute and soft. enemies to lovers IS GREAT.

a reminder that malleus himself acknowledged that this guy's magic is really strong and that he's very talented. HE SOMEHOW BROUGHT BACK THE FLOWERS THAT WENT EXTINCT. (again a good fic idea-)

i can say something about the nrc characters too but tbh all of them have a fanbase so i don't think i can say much. i could say something about the rsa characters and i love them but i'm gonna be honest.. they really should give us more rsa content. give me a whole rsa event. do it cowards.

milgram: again, all characters have their fans, so i can't say that anyone there is unpopular, but i still have some things to say. tbh i'm not.. a fan of how, like, some (or even most) people who like amane just like her because "well she's a cute child!! therefore she's pure and innocent and has never done anything wrong!!" yes this is coming from an inno voter and her biggest apologist and at first i really did like her bc she seemed cute, but after i listened to her vd, i ended up liking her even more because it's like.. idk, something about her behavior is so accurate. like, yes, she's a victim. yes, she's a child who was brainwashed and manipulated. but that doesn't mean she will go "oh noooo help me pleaseeeee :(" or anything, no, she will go "no, my god is always right and i've also never done anything wrong so i think you know what to vote me" AND THAT'S SO COOL. I LIKE CHARACTERS LIKE THAT I LIKE CHARACTERS WHO CLEARLY WENT THROUGH A LOT BUT THEY'RE NOT BEING EXACTLY SYMPATHETIC. and it makes me so sad to see some people ignoring those traits and turning her into a completely different character. thankfully i haven't seen that many people do that, but still, i remember watching her vd and seeing some people go "oh no i thought she was all cute but she's actually so annoying". like wow people really will stan any cute child character until they find out that child character has a personality and they're not as perfect as they imagined them to be. and that sucks. but also yeah i wish i could see more content with her! she definitely has her fans, but still..

also i have some things to say about yuno: she's definitely very popular, but i'm not a fan of the fact that some people like.. idk, it seems like some people like her just bc "oh well she confessed that her "crime" is abortion, soooo she's innocent and she's better than most characters there" like SHE'S SUCH A DEEP CHARACTER I CAN TALK ABOUT HER FOR HOURS. I LOVE HER NOT JUST BC OF HER PERSONALITY OR HER PINK AESTHETIC I ACTUALLY RELATE TO HER A LOT AND. I KNOW SHE MOST LIKELY WOULDN'T LIKE TO HEAR ME SAY IT BUT I LOVE HER AND SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY AND I'M NOT SAYING IT BECAUSE SHE'S "pure" OR "her crime isn't even a crime". i know she may seem like a "flat character" but i swear she's deeper than that. it may sound like i'm overthinking stuff but hey, overthinking stuff is this project's whole point.

21. "part of canon you think is overhyped"

twst: i'm gonna say it. main story is. kinda boring. like i couldn't care less about the updates or new chapters or anything, again, i'm more interested in the events. i get it, the whole point of the main story is overblots and the overblot gang's backstories, but tbh i got tired of it after like chapter 4. i get it, it's literally the main story, of course people will talk about it, but i just.. can't make myself care about it.

milgram: THIS ONE ACTUALLY MADE ME THINK BECAUSE.. tbh nothing about it feels overhyped to me, at least right now? like i feel like the whole project is almost based on this feeling like "what's gonna happen next" or "what should i do" or "how should i react to this". so yeah again i don't think i have anything to say AGAIN I'M SORRY JDFKSLDLD. i could talk about the novels, but also.. not that many people know about the novels or are interested in them, so yeah, i definitely can't say they're overhyped. i could say how i'm not really that interested in the ninth and tenth mvs and the purge march is the only mv that i'm excited for rn, but that's just, again, me being biased and i definitely wouldn't say those mvs are overhyped. i also really want to see them! i just don't care about those characters as much.

[marshmellowtea]

For the ask thing: 1, 2, and 13 for any fandoms you like

oughdglkf oh boy let's gooo

1. the character everyone gets wrong

i feel like there's a lot of characters i could potentially put here but the one i can say the most about currently is actor mark from who killed markiplier because WOO BOY the annoying ass takes i see about my boy 😭 look, you don't have to like him, but so many people are wayyy too quick to paint him as a straight villain who's only motivation is to be malicious when canonically, he's motivated largely by pain and literally being preyed upon by a malicious entity that feeds off of negative emotions. yeah, sure, by the damien animation he's gone all egomaniacal disney villain, but he absolutely did not start out that way, let's not forget that those first few suicide attempts were genuine for fuck's sake. also, this is more personal interpretation that could potentially be disputed, but i feel like portraying him as an abusive partner to celine is also misinterpretation—you don't have to be an abusive partner to be a bad partner to someone, and nothing about the way the two of them interact gives me the vibes he was abusive to her, a lot of her rage at him in damien seemed to be based in what he did in wkm rather than being about their relationship in general. also, we know at least part of the reason why celine ran off with the colonel was the house itself unsettling her, not just her relationship to actor. it just feels symptomatic of the "oversimplified villain" characterization everyone gives him and it makes me feel Tired lol. in the same vein i feel like everyone takes the "everyone loves me i am a god" shtick far too literally, i really feel like it's a mask for a boatload of insecurity (cuz, like, can we remember that basically everyone in his life basically abandoned him or at least seemed to have and the way those feelings were 100% exacerbated by the house?? pretty sure the man would have issues, just saying).

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i....hm, i actually don't know if i have one of these aglkdjsf. LIKE don't get me wrong i do have strong opinions about this sort of thing for some of my faves but they're less "here's solid evidence for why this blorbo would be a bottom" and more "i would like to top them please. please let me top them”. actually you know what, that's my argument, my faves are bottoms because i want to top them :) that's all i need right—

13. worst blorboficiation

OOF okay i have a couple actually fitting to start off with this one since it is succession season four time but i do really dislike the way a lot of rome girls talk about him, like, the constant claims that he's the only one who loves his family or the only one who has a heart......fucking please lmao. like, don't get me wrong, i love woobifying the billionaires (kendall and shiv can do no wrong in my eyes and when they do i love them anyway <3) but the way that rome stans frequently mischaracterize his siblings as more malicious than they are or treat his abuse from logan as more valid than the abuse any of his siblings face drives me up the fucking wall, you can fuck allllll the way off with that nonsense lmao. i don't hate him but the way the fandom talks about him make him kinda put a bad taste in my mouth when i see him onscreen now, lol. also, not to shift back to who killed markiplier, but little meow meow darkiplier who's actually been the hero this whole time! and is the only one who genuinely loves and cares about y/n! is so fucking boring. SORRY. i know this is 100% part me being an actor stan and thus Biased but both of them are so much more complicated and morally gray than the fandom gives them credit for and i am soooo fucking sick of it </3 put the manipulation back in the darkiplier or so help me god i will do something drastic!!

[choose violence ask game here]

[gaycrimesagainstmutants]

Oh yasss rottmnt!!! Btw drink some water my fella!

Anyways, I was wondering if you could do a Donnie x male reader where the reader has recently adopted a kitten who's very playful and tends to scratch a lot but is still an adorable sweetheart and when Donnie goes to visit him, the kitten immediately likes him? I've seen cats distrust and dislike people that aren't good for their owners so the idea of the cat immediately accepting Donnie would be super cute imo. You can skip this ask if you want lol ^^

Kitty Cat

Genre: Fluff

A/N: I'm prettyyyy sure Mnt. Dew has water in it, so I should be good! :) Haha, in all seriousness, ya'll stay hydrated! And thanks for the request. ^-^

"I seriously doubt you thought this through," Donnie said, tapping his foot as you fiddled with the door to your apartment.

"I did, Don. Trust me when I say that this was a perfectly thought out plan," You replied with a smile, cheering as you finally got the door open. Damn door and it's finicky lock, Donnie knew he'd have to fix it someday soon. Lest you break your hand trying to get it open.

When you had called Donnie a few nights ago, saying you found a poor little kitten in an alleyway, abandoned by it's mother, he had thought you would take it to a shelter. Or maybe give it to some extended family members. Not immediately get attached and try to keep it.

Not that he's surprised, you always had a bleeding heart.

Now, you had somehow roped him into meeting the thing. Something about how you wanted your two favorite creatures to get along. Donnie still thought it was a bad idea - you lived in a rinky dink apartment in New York, a city which had a new mutant or yökai or another odd threat every other week - but he couldn't judge. Your life, your choice.

So, as you two stepped inside your apartment and you went to go put up your belongings, Donnie decided to go searching for the little creature who lived in your walls. Didn't take him very long, the thing had somehow slipped behind the microwave and was meowing loudly for someone to come save it.

Donnie picked up the kitten by the scruff of it's neck and held it up, examining the cat with an analytical eye. The kitten was still young enough that there wasn't any clear way to tell their gender and from what research he did on cat species, they seemed to be a Ragdoll. "Intriguing," he muttered.

"Donnie, I swear, if you're expirementing on poor Crash," you said as you walked into the kitchen, gently scopping the kitten from his grasp and setting them back down to let them scamper off to go explore the apartment more.

"Crash?" Donnie asked.

"Short for Crashworth Cortex Bandicoot the First," you said with a shrug, before leaving the kitchen to go sit on the couch. Donnie paused for a moment, thinking about how silly of a name that was for a cat, before turning his attention to your snack cabinet.

----

After settling down on the couch next to you - granola bar and flavorless juice in hand - he thought that was the last he'd see of Crash for the rest of the day, besides the little bugger running into the living room to play.

At least, until he started clawing at the couch, meowing for your attention.

"Aw, come here baby," You cooed, picking them up and holding the kitten close to your chest. Donnie could almost wish you'd talk to him like that - so soft and full of childish love - if you didn't already do that, in front of his brothers no less. Oh well, it's onlt naturally for a kitten to want to spend time with it's owner.

Yet, the kitten kept meowing.

"What's wrong baby?" You asked, still using that cute baby-talk voice as Crash simmied out of your arms and leaped over to him. They circled around on his lap for a while, before laying down to rest, purring. "Hey, they like you!" You exclaimed, eyes shining with pure delight.

"I...suppose so," Donnie said, confusion laced in his tone. He knows cats can eat turtles - and that cats will, on many occasions - so he thought Crash would just see him as a gaint, walking tray of yummy turtle meat.

He supposed not.

Slowly running his fingers through the cats fur he was...pleasantly surprised. Normally, stuff like cat's fur would trigger all his sensory issues, but this nice and fluffy and didn't feel like a thousand ants trying to bury under his skin.

"You good, babe? You're zoning out," You asked, tapping his shoulder lightly with a concerned look on your face. Donnie cleared his throat.

"There isn't anything wrong, my dear. Let us focus on the show. Oh, remind me, what's it about again?" Donnie asked. The question sent you on a hyperfocused-induced ramble, which allowed Donnie a moment of breath and also to distract you from the rare pet name that slipped out in a moment of weakness or how he kept petting the sleeping kitten for the rest of the marathon.

[hexxalite-hecate]

I see Cullen x Amell or Cullen x Surana a lot in the Cullen tags, I'm a Cullen x Lavellan shipper and I haven't played Origins, what is the deal with him and the mage warden? Some people say he was obsessed and stalked her, I don't wanna believe that bc I love him but I'm confused about what's canon. I know some people hc they had a relationship but I can't seem to get a straight answer what actually happened in canon? Sorry for random ask 🦁

Hi! I love asks ❤️ And this is a good question!

From what I've seen, this topic can get a bit spicy because people have opinions on Cullen's history with Amell/Surana (hereby referred to as f!mage because I'm lazy). I'm active on the Dragon Age subreddits and I've had a lot of discussions with people who genuinely believe that Cullen is an abusive, stalking rapist, and Bioware did a lazy retcon on his history to turn him into a whitebread vanilla love interest for DAI.

I’ll put my cards on the table: Amell was my first playthrough and subsequently canon Warden, I got attached to Cullen early on, and I love me a bit of Cullen x f!mage fic and art, though my preference is post-Inquisition reunion. I don't agree he’s been retconned from an abusive stalker into a poor little meow meow (and I'll be going into a detailed breakdown of why in a minute). HOWEVER, despite my personal bias I’m going to try and present information fairly so people can draw their own conclusions, and I can definitely see how the less flattering opinions of Cullen wrt f!mage ended up being formed. 

There are several explanations for the, ahem, strong views on Cullen’s relationship with f!mage during their time at Kinloch Hold, some entirely reasonable and some less reasonable. Some examples of the range I’ve encountered:

1. People have difficulty emotionally separating the character of Cullen from his VA, who holds some utterly loathsome alt-right stances and has historically used the character to try and spread those disgusting views. (Can't really blame anyone for this, fuck that guy.)

2. People haven't actually played through Origins as f!mage and only have second-hand knowledge of his canon interactions, going off hearsay that gets escalated and distorted like a Thedosian game of telephone. Well, lucky for you I gathered every single interaction between them into this post, so now you have the facts to make an informed decision.

3. Information from abandoned writing concepts and dev interviews often conflicts with what’s actually presented in the game itself, muddying the waters with regard to Cullen’s character vision. (This one is genuinely complicated, but I'll try and present everything fairly for your consideration.)

4. A lot of fans understandably started disliking Cullen based on the choices he makes and the viewpoints he espouses in DA2. This doesn't directly affect his relationship with f!mage at the Tower, since all their interactions happened before that point. However, some people argue that his behaviour during DA2 indicates tendencies that he would have had from the beginning, including during their time at Kinloch Hold together. It also affects his post-Circle opinions of her, which is relevant to whether or not he could be termed as obsessive. This, too, is complicated, and I'll try to be as fair and unbiased as possible.

I'm going to tackle your ask by breaking it down into two main parts. Firstly, what is the canon evidence of exactly how involved Cullen and f!mage were at the Ferelden Circle? And secondly, what canon evidence is there that this involvement was characterised by obsessive/predatory/stalker behaviour, and in what way does that behaviour develop through later games? 

Buckle up, this turned out long.

1. What canon evidence is there of f!mage and Cullen’s relationship at Kinloch Hold?

Let's take this from the beginning, based directly on what f!mage encounters in the game. On waking from your Harrowing, you are immediately greeted by this ambient conversation from two gossiping apprentices:

If you walk around spam clicking other apprentices, one will also volunteer this information:

So, we are immediately given evidence that whoever Cullen is, his feelings for you are obvious enough to be a general subject of gossip. Interesting! But it doesn’t say anything about your character’s feelings for him. Are we in a forbidden relationship? Or is my character only just finding out about this? Would she react with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) or ಠ_ಠ? Ok, let's go talk to the guy himself and find out what the deal is.

(Forgive the cut and pasted dialogue; I just centred it over his head so I don’t have to post full size screenshots.)

Straight away, we can see that Cullen is a stuttering, bumbling wreck. He stumbles over his words and clumsily tries to make conversation. We are presented with a range of options in response to his greeting:

As you can see from these options, f!mage seems to know who Cullen is. There’s no “Uh, who are you again?” dialogue. However, she doesn’t appear to know him very well. They’re unfamiliar enough that when he tries to compliment her, he has to obfuscate:

If they had any sort of relationship, whether simple friendship or more, Cullen wouldn’t need to hide that he’s familiar with an apparently key part of her personality - that she’s confident. To me, that reads that they’ve hardly interacted outside the occasional nod in the hallways, or at the very most a brief conversation.

I suppose you could argue that they’ve been having purely physical trysts that account for them having a ‘relationship’ without him knowing her personality very well, but his bumbling awkwardness seems utterly contradictory to that theory. And then, as the nail in the coffin, we get this:

F!mage can suggest such a tryst herself, picking up on his attraction and showing reciprocation. Cullen reacts first with confusion, then stunned realisation... then absolute rejection. 

Then he automatically ends the conversation and literally runs away from you.

Despite his obvious attraction - described as love, no less, by random NPCs - he doesn’t even entertain the idea of acting on his desires. We’ll come back to this conversation in the second part, because Cullen’s language reveals a lot about why he rejects you. But for now, the important thing is that he does, and nothing about this exchange indicates that there have been previous, non-rejected encounters.

So, the definitive answer to the question did Cullen and f!mage have a romantic or sexual relationship at the Tower?

No. Through their canon interactions, we can deduce that they were both aware of the other’s existence, and f!mage’s opinion of him is anything from dismissive to neutral to flirty depending on your dialogue choices. However, these canon interactions completely contradict the idea of them having any kind of established romantic or sexual relationship - or even just friendship, given Cullen’s hasty “or so I’ve heard” correction, or f!mage’s offer that “we should get to know each other”. Obviously players can headcanon anything they like - I’m partial to friends with mutual unspoken crushes - but it’s not canon.

So that’s that. Now on to the second, less clear-cut, messier question...

.

2. Did Cullen ever behave in an obsessive/predatory/stalkerish way towards f!mage?

Oh man. There is a LOT of ground to cover here.

Let’s take this in chronological order. Firstly, let’s examine their actual relationship at Kinloch Hold, using all the canon evidence above. It’s clear from their interactions that this relationship - such as it is - is weighted more towards one side. Cullen’s feelings are so obvious that everyone and their dog is gossiping about them. It’s also evident through your conversation with him that he and f!mage don’t actually know each other very well, so regardless of whether or not your character chooses to shock him by actually showing interest in return, Cullen’s feelings up until that point must have been born of watching and admiring her from afar. So yes, there’s scope to interpret such behaviour anywhere on the spectrum from youthful crush to obsessive, and there isn’t much primary source information to confirm one way or the other. But predatory? I don’t believe the canon information supports that Cullen ever behaved in a predatory way towards f!mage during her apprenticeship in the Ferelden Circle, and here’s why.

To set the scene, we have already been shown that Cullen is young and idealistic. He’s 19, and very clearly inexperienced in terms of navigating social situations. (F!Mage’s age is flexible, but since Harrowings are not generally taken until 18/19, she and Cullen are either contemporaries or f!mage is actually older than him, which neutralises that particular facet of imbalance). Every writing choice made for Cullen during the mage origin intro highlights that he is simply naïve, unable to conceal his crush and unaware of how revealing his statements are. Look at this; he can’t even stop telling on himself while he’s actually talking to you, let alone with anyone else:

These are very stark writing choices which make the character of Cullen seem as awkward, bumbling, nonthreatening and - dare I say it - cute as possible. This was intended to be endearing. Take a look at the VO direction for Cullen’s voice acting, taken from this post of @soularia discussing the same topic:

Sincere and sweet is the clincher for me. There’s no way to reconcile that with predatory. Even if you personally disagree that the overall effect was endearing rather than creepy, the directorial intent was clearly to evoke the former.

However, even if Cullen’s attentions at the Ferelden Circle can be characterised as an innocent crush, the next hurdle to clear is the inherent imbalance of power between Templar and mage, which is one of the major issues people have with his romantic fixation. Despite his youth and inexperience, Cullen is still in a position of authority over f!mage, and as such any relationship between them would be inherently exploitative. But as you can see from his rejection dialogue, the person who is most cognizant and serious about that imbalance is Cullen himself. When Cullen turns f!mage down, the language he uses is very revealing - he doesn’t say “No, we’ll get in trouble” or even “No, your kind and mine shouldn’t mix” (which you might expect from his stance in DA2). He says “it would be really inappropriate.” You’re offering him everything he wants on a silver platter, and he won’t take it because he’s the one who’s concerned about power imbalances. That speaks of responsibility and duty of care, not predation. If his behaviour was narratively intended to be read as predatory, this would have been the perfect place to hammer that point home. You could even do it in a soft-touch morally grey way - “oh we shouldn’t, but I just can’t help it!” But instead, pains are taken to ensure the player sees Cullen acting in a respectful and principled manner.

So it’s perfectly understandable for fans to dislike the Cullen/f!mage dynamic because of the inherent power balance. However, I think it’s unfair to term Cullen himself as predatory because of it. The imbalance is not of his making, and despite his feelings, he does the exact opposite of exploiting it. 

I think it’s interesting that Cullen isn’t present alongside the other Templars in the scene outside the repository when f!mage and Jowan are confronted by Greagoir and Irving, and as such we have no chance to see what side he would pick in that scenario. If you pursue the relevant dialogue options during your earlier conversation, he regretfully declares that should you have been possessed by a demon during your Harrowing, he would have followed protocol and helped the rest of the Templars put you down, despite his personal feelings on the matter:

Ouch. This tracks with the ‘duty first’ mentality that causes him to reject your proposition, even though it’s presumably all he dreams about. This topic of conversation makes Cullen visibly uncomfortable in both voice and mannerisms - because it’s fucked up and he seems painfully aware of that - and he moves on as soon as possible. But I think it’s interesting to note that in the one situation where his devotion to duty could have been proven - at the confrontation outside the repository - Cullen is conspicuously absent. It’s possible there’s nothing narratively meaningful about his exclusion from this scene, but part of me wonders whether it was intentionally kept ambiguous whether he really would have been able to attack f!mage if Greagoir ordered him to. This one is up for individual interpretation, however, and I’m aware that it’s another major reason the Cullen x f!mage pairing leaves a sour taste in some fans’ mouths. If nothing else, it’s consistent with his character presentation so far.

(As an aside, it’s interesting to note that the one time we do see Cullen presented with this choice - in the final act of DA2 - he chooses to stand with Hawke against the rest of the Templars. And that’s during his worst phase of mage prejudice. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.)

Cullen and f!mage next cross paths where all the non-mage PCs meet him for the first time: during the Broken Circle quest, where he’s been tortured, starved, assaulted and abused for days by a Desire Demon wearing the shape of none other than f!mage. This is where we get definitive proof of Cullen’s feelings, in the form of a delirious confession:

(NB: the fact that one of your dialogue options here is basically “so who the fuck were you, again?” is both hilarious and sad. Poor Cullen.)

There’s some epic Greek-tragedy-cum-extreme-Catholic-guilt here, and let me tell you this shit was like catnip to the angst sluts when DAO first came out. You have to understand that female players were typically NOT catered to in the gaming scene of 2009, especially in terms of fanservice, and having this himbo pour out his agonised forbidden desire for your character hit a LOT of people’s targets. There’s a reason Cullen was a breakout favourite. (I’m aware that mores have changed since then and this particular trope might be recieved less favourably in a more recent game. This was 2009. We had to take what we could get.)

Anyhow, regardless of all this, Cullen insists that the ordeal he’s been subjected to has destroyed whatever tender boyish regard he may once have nurtured, and says some pretty jaded and upsetting things to back it up:

What we’re seeing here is the genesis of Cullen’s radicalisation, which is hale and flourishing by DA2. I won’t go into detail about this here because it’s getting off topic, but one interesting thing to note is a line which serves as evidence against the theory that Cullen held his DA2-era radical opinions before his ordeal at the Tower:

This seems to indicate that prior to Uldred’s rebellion, Cullen was a mage sympathiser in the mould of Ser Thrask. (This was later confimed in a messageboard comment by his writer - we’ll get to that bit later.) Food for thought - however, we’re straying from our intended path.

The fact that the easiest way for the Desire Demon to break Cullen is to use his feelings for f!mage is very telling. Remember, Desire Demons are not simply about sex, despite how much boob-fondling Bioware insisted on programming into their models. The Desire Demon who possessed Connor in Redcliffe played on his wish for his father to be healed. Cullen could have had plenty of things for the demon to work with - he might have been hungry to prove himself as a devoted Templar, or conversely been dissatisfied with his life choices and yearned to see more the world - but no, it’s his feelings for f!mage that the demon focuses on like a laser beam. This trick, again? Cullen says when you find him outside the Harrowing Chamber. Still here? But that’s always worked before! I close my eyes, but when I open them you are still here! “Again”; “always” - this was more than once. The demon has been using the f!mage doppelganger technique over and over. Such insistence on this tactic by the demon - who can see directly into Cullen’s head - seems to indicate that Cullen’s feelings have moved beyond mere crush into something potent enough to be used to break his spirit entirely. How might Cullen have been affected in the time between f!mage leaving the Tower with Duncan, and miraculously returning as the prodigal daughter during Broken Circle? Remember, the news from Ostagar was that everyone but Loghain’s unit was dead. Until her reappearance in Broken Circle, Cullen was likely under the impression that his crush had died a horrific and violent death at the hands of monsters. What does that do to a lovelorn teenager? Well, it’s possible that grief and lack of a healthy emotional outlet turned those innocent feelings into an obsession. As we’ll see later, Cullen makes some curious remarks indicating that he has pedastalised f!mage in his memories. But this is moving into the realm of speculation again, and we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

This scene marks the end of Cullen and f!mage’s canon interactions in the Ferelden Circle. Despite being present during the post-battle discussion with Greagoir (and Irving, if he survives), Cullen does not address f!mage again directly, and this is his last on-screen appearance in DAO. However, he is one of the few characters who returns in all three games. So what can we glean about Cullen’s ongoing feelings from his appearances in the later instalments of the DA series?

Let’s look at Cullen’s attitude towards Amell/Surana post-Origins - how long can you nurse a crush before it becomes unhealthy?

Before we move on from DAO, let’s squeeze in a last little bit of piping hot tea from our favourite Kinloch Hold gossip girls:

This takes place during your return to the Tower in the expansion Witch Hunt, set roughly two years after the Blight. Apparently Cullen’s crush was such a juicy topic that it’s still being brought up, even though neither of he nor f!mage have been at the Ferelden Circle for literal years now. However, the question of whether he’s still holding that torch doesn’t get an answer from Kristen Bell over there, and since Cullen himself isn’t present to confirm or deny it, there’s no further information to be had here. To get the update from the lion’s mouth, we need to spin on to DA2.

There’s a lot to be said about Cullen’s decisions, viewpoints and state of mind during DA2, and I could write an entire separate post about the toxic behaviour that can result from extreme trauma, PTSD and radicalisation (and probably will; just give me a week with my psychotherapy textbooks and I’ll post another thesis-length meta). While Cullen’s fragile and toxic state of mind during DA2 does have a bearing on this discussion, I’m going to try and keep things focused on the topic of the ask, just to stop this post from tipping over into magnum opus territory.

The comment Cullen makes to Hawke in DA2 is specifically directed towards f!Amell, since you can only trigger it by bringing up Hawke’s family connection to the Hero of Ferelden - but we can reasonably assume he’d have the same opinion of Surana if asked. When congratulating Hawke on restoring the status of the Amells in Kirkwall, Cullen will make this statement, entirely unprompted and unsolicited:

This is completely contradictory to every sentiment Cullen expresses regarding mages for the entirety of DA2, and entirely conflicts with the manner of his parting with Amell after the Broken Circle quest. He’s been tortured, abused, traumatised and radicalised, and he spends the 7 years of DA2 unequivocally paying it forward. Every word he speaks about mages in this game is about damage control, and how their human rights must be balanced with the dangers they present to society. Whether you agree with this or not (I don’t, obviously), it’s inescapably part of his ideology in Kirkwall. Arguably the starkest and hardest-to-handwave nadir of his character arc is when he insists to Hawke that “mages aren’t people like you and me”. Cullen can’t see past his fear and trauma to even consider mages human.

And yet this comment about Amell, a mage who was (unwittingly and unwillingly) central to the abuse he endured? No caveats at all. Not “she was special, for a mage”. He doesn’t mention the fevered accusations he threw at her in the wake of the disaster at the Tower, when he claimed he was beyond caring what she thought of him, and accused her of dooming them all with her ‘compassion’ if she chose to spare the mages. There are no qualifiers to his wistful statement, and it remains the same regardless of what story choices you made in DAO - Amell could have left the village of Redcliffe to burn, killed a ten year old boy, joined a crime syndicate and robbed Denerim blind, defiled the Urn of Sacred Ashes and been an honest-to-god blood mage, and Cullen’s still reminiscing like she’s a milkmaid he had a summer fling with. He completely disregards the complex and negative circumstances in which they parted, and explicitly separates her from other mages (because she’s not like them, apparently).

Now, you could argue that Cullen has simply accepted that his torture by a Desire Demon hiding behind a lifesize Amell cutout was not in fact the real Amell’s fault, that he regrets his hasty chastisement of her, and has peaceably and healthily decided to move on without malice. But his baseline indictment of literally every other mage ever is not compatible with this reading. He can’t healthily and fondly reminisce about Amell while also hating and fearing all other mages. You could argue that Cullen’s use of “special” and “never met her like again” could simply refer to her saintly status as Hero of Ferelden, but keep in mind that this dialogue is only in the game to be an easter egg for Amell DAO players. The writers were explicitly throwing a bone to existing Cullen fans, who at this point were overwhelmingly mage origin players who’d experienced Cullen crushing on their character and got attached to him as a result. In this orchestrated context, Cullen’s reminiscences are intentionally and directly linked to his romantic feelings, and his mental separation of her from mages et al actually denote that Cullen has put Amell on a pedestal, and is idolising his memories of her. 

Considering the context and implications of this exchange, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for players to infer at this point that Cullen has unrealistic and possibly obsessive tendencies towards the mage Warden.

That’s the only mention of f!mage we get in DA2, despite the wealth of character insight the game gives us into Cullen’s 7-year annus horribilis. But what about during DAI, after Cullen has undergone his so-called ‘retcon’ into an acceptable human being? How does he feel about f!mage a full 10 years after their last canon interaction, now he’s left the Tempalr order and been deradicalised of his least palatable opinions?

Yet again, the writers are generous with the bones they throw to those original mage Warden DAO players. We, as Inquisitor, get the opportunity to probe Cullen when the topic of the Hero of Ferelden comes up. Not having managed to play through DAI with the correct worldstate yet, I have none of my own dialogue screenshots on hand, and will have to direct you to a youtube video of the exchange (keep in mind that this conversation is with a ROMANCED Inquisitor):

Inquisitor: If you don’t mind my asking... the Hero of Ferelden was a Circle mage. Did you know her?

Cullen: I attended her Harrowing, actually. She was a lovely woman.

Inquisitor: ...“Lovely?”

Cullen: There was some... youthful infatuation on my part. A feeling I had forsaken until recently.

Inquisitor: You never acted on it?

Cullen: She was one of my charges. Even if she felt the same, it would have been... inappropriate. I saw her once, after she became a Warden. She freed the Tower during the Blight - I would be dead or mad if not for her. I was in a sorry state when she found me. The things I said were... unkind. Untoward. I regret them now. I wish she knew that.

This exchange is a cornucopia of hidden gems. Cullen’s tone is wistful, fond, a little sad. In general, I really do agree that Cullen sounds like he has a sane and stable handle on his historic trauma by this point in the series, and his evaluation of the way he and f!mage parted is self-aware and fair. His use of the words infatuation and inappropriate echo his language from DAO and give legitimacy and consistency to his character arc. But it does amuse me that he’s still throwing out unsolicited compliments like “she was a lovely woman”, and to his CURRENT GIRLFRIEND at that. And what’s this about “a feeling I had forsaken until recently”? Is he actually implying that he’s had no romantic feelings for anyone between f!mage stealing his heart and getting together with the Inquisitor? No dates? No relationships? Not even any interest in anyone else at all for 10 freaking years? That’s really not helping the ‘not obsessive’ meter. It’s also eerily similar to his pedestalling “never met her like again” comment from DA2.

Then we have a snippet of banter around the War Table which only occurs if you imported a worldstate where Leliana romanced the f!mage Warden. Again, I will have to rely on the kindness of others and direct you to a video that isn’t mine:

Cullen: So you and, er...

Leliana: Yes?

Cullen: Was she - I mean, did she ever...

Leliana: Are you asking for details?

Cullen: I-ah - no! That would be... inappropriate. 

Of course, f!mage is never mentioned by name, but by the use of the running joke inappropriate coupled with Cullen’s stuttering, stumbling speech which echoes his earliest DAO introduction, it’s clear what we’re meant to infer. Did she ever... what? Ask about Cullen? Bring him up? Discuss her memories of the Tower? Want to see him again? Bioware knew exactly what they were doing with this snippet. Those who know, know. Those who don’t, don’t. But it does indicate that even though 10 years have passed, Cullen is still preoccupied with f!mage, and is noticeably concerned about her opinion of him. As before, he reacts appropriately (heh) by dropping the subject... but he just couldn’t help but ask, the same way he couldn’t help but tell on himself all those years ago.

(Of course, if f!mage died fighting the Archdemon in your particular canon, it adds a different and very sad facet to his wistful musings. Cullen’s last memory of her would be that terrible interaction after the disaster at the Tower, and consequently there will never be a chance for him to gain closure, leaving him full of grief and regret. That sort of thing can really mess a person up - and incidentally, it’s much easier to pedastalise a dead person than a living one. No wonder he was too traumatised to love again for a decade. Honestly this possibility is just tragic.)

This juncture seems the opportune place to bring up the controversial subject of decanonised or canon-adjacent material, which often paints a darker interpretation of Cullen. Sheryl Chee, who wrote for Cullen in DAO, made the following statements about her vision of the character in a messageboard discussion with fans after DAO’s release (relevant comments on pages 2 - 7):

I’d say he starts out tragically oppressed with some tendencies towards creepy stalker (I think you’d have to be, to be a templar). He ends up, I believe, completely broken mentally and emotionally and hates both himself and the femMagePC. I think nothing, not even love, can redeem him. He’s too far gone. Of course, that’s not canon, it’s just my take on it, and I revel in the angst and the pain.

Despite Sheryl’s own assertion that her comments aren’t canon, obviously opinions from the writer herself hold a lot of weight, and it’s important to realise that this quote was a strong influence on fandom’s divided opinions on Cullen. If this was where Sheryl was coming from during development, however, I do feel like something must have got a little lost in translation between her initial writing of the character and Cullen’s VO direction and in-game depiction. Maybe it’s my bias, and you’re free to draw your own conclusions based on the facts presented, but in my opinion her description bears no resemblance to the Cullen we actually experience, in-game, during the mage origin of DAO. You can’t claim that a romance between Cullen and f!mage would be “very quick, very violent, and only undertaken as a way to get her out of his system” alongside a voice acting direction that describes him as “sincere and sweet”. Make your mind up! No wonder people got mixed messages and everyone’s arguing with each other!

Sheryl’s further posts regarding the matter also contradict herself:

I did imagine him to be a young, fairly normal kid torn between his hormones and his duty. Like a more serious Alistair. Later on we decided we needed a templar survivor in the post-Uldred tower, and since people seem to enjoy it when they see people from their past, I decided to make it Cullen. In the beginning, he is sympathetic to the mages, but he comes away very changed by the things Uldred and the demons do to him.

As for the creepy stalker tendencies--er... I think that may have been started by David Gaider's little Cullen Romance snippet. I never imagined him as a creepy stalker.

Given this clarification, I feel we ought to take her initial comments with a sizeable grain of salt - but people do use these quotes to justify the darker reading of Cullen, so I think it’s important to note that not even Sheryl herself was serious or consistent about it.

I think the problem here is that there was undoubtedly some playing around with Cullen’s trajectory in the writers room, and those aborted arcs have been set free on the internet and absorbed into people’s interpretation of the main canon (not helped by Cullen’s legitimate spiral into radicalisation during DA2). Sheryl Chee’s darker vision was echoed in the infamous (and latterly decanonised as ‘false rumours’) DAO epilogue that claims Cullen had a psychotic break and slaughtered three apprentices:

The young templar Cullen never quite recovered from his ordeal. After months of attempting to convince his superiors that the tower was still a danger, he finally snapped and killed three apprentices before being stopped by his fellow templars. Eventually, Cullen escaped from prison, a madman and a threat to any mage he encountered.

Again, it was decanonised. But again, it does add fuel to the fire.

Then we have a datamined line of voice acting from DAI here (timestamp 1:57) which has Leliana angrily reacting to a messenger bringing news of what appears to be Cullen nagging for details about the mage Warden, similar to their earlier and much more restrained War Table banter. No names are mentioned, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume we’re covering the same old ground here:

Leliana: I thought this obsession was over! Has he been drinking? 

Agent: I don’t know; I’m just the messenger.

Leliana: Tell him to drop it! I am not going to discuss what she was like!

Welp, she actually uses the word obsession. Again, this was presumably cut for a reason, and I guess it’s because it didn’t gel with Cullen’s deradicalised and softer character trajectory.

However, these abandoned arcs do indicate that there was a lot of concept-stage (and even development stage) flirting with the darker depictions of Cullen, and that’s undoubtedly where the arguments stem from. A lot of these concepts have filtered into the fandom consciousness, especially now DAO is a 12-year-old game that not everyone wants to actually play to see for themselves what’s true and what’s false. In that respect, I really can’t fault anyone for using these secondary-source snippets in their character interpretation of Cullen, since you could argue there’s plenty of evidence in the actual gameplay that dovetails with it.

So, my answer to the ask? No, it’s canon that there was no discernable relationship between Cullen and f!mage at the Tower, regardless of whether your character flirts with him, and his behaviour during that time indicates responsibility more than predation. As to whether Cullen exhibits obsessive behaviour to the female mage Warden after their separation? Well... this one’s trickier. I think it’s clear that whatever feelings he once held were exploited and warped through severe trauma and abuse, and that he did unrealistically romanticise his memory of her while he was going through his most fragile mental period in DA2. However, I think it’s also clear that his grasp of the situation is far more realistic and grounded by the time DAI rolls around, though he still holds a harmless torch for an old flame.

Those are my conclusions, though. My parting words are that it’s up to your own interpretation. You now have all the facts, canon, canon-adjacent or decanonised, and you can conclude from them what you wish. 

Typical. Four and a half thousand words just to say that.