#i know a guy

[teslafactory]

this is the most tumblrified man to have ever existed

[halfagone]

A best-seller 'rags to riches to prison shackles' autobiography written by a woman in her late sixties, who was finally exonerated for the murder of her late, wealthy husband after 20 years in Blackgate prison, is getting a limited-series adaption. One of the most anticipated scenes is a exchange from early on in the book, in which the author describes a private, emotional conversation she shared with a young Bruce Wayne, where she recounts details about the passing of her son.

Countless fans try to theorize who will be casted as a younger Bruce Wayne. Some think it should be Damian Wayne, but many point out that he's too young for the role. Others think it should be Tim Drake, who would be at the right age to play it. However, as CEO, he doesn't exactly have an open schedule, and they haven't heard him disappearing for filming all those months ago. Other people think Bruce Wayne himself should play the role, using deep-fake technology to make him appear younger.

In the end, their questions go unanswered until the first trailer airs online for the limited series. It previews the very first glimpse of a young Bruce Wayne, played by previously unknown 'Danny Fenton', and the internet-

Loses its fucking mind.

(Bruce might just be getting a new son from this after all.)

[peppermintquartz]

The Guy Who Knows a Guy

--

"We need you to move from here," Bobby says, pointing to the grate in the ceiling, "through the ventilation, and up."

"Too narrow," Chimney grunts after he takes a peek from standing on Buck's shoulders.

As he lets Chimney to the floor, Buck doesn't even bother to volunteer. His shoulders are too broad. "Hang on, I'll call Tommy."

"Tommy? He's flexible but I don't think he can go through that," Chimney begins to say, but Buck waves his brother-in-law silent.

"Hey, Evan."

"Hey Tommy. Listen, don't ask, but we need a contortionist. You know a guy in L.A.?"

"Sure do. I'll send his work contact over. Love you."

"Love you too, bye." Buck ends the call and then sees the looks on both Bobby's and Chimney's faces. "What? He knows a guy. We'll get into that office and get what we need and get out."

--

Karen wishes she majored in entomology. Then she'll know what to do about these goddamn ants that have suddenly colonized her office and no amount of bug spray or traps or bait seem to get rid of.

"And I'm bloody terrified one of them will hitchhike on me and I bring them home and the next thing I know I'm plagued by them in my own bed," she rants over a glass of white wine.

Hen sighs. "She has become way too spray-happy with the insecticide in the house."

Tommy shrugs. "I know a guy. He got rid of termites in my yard. Five years on, termite free. I'll send you his work number and drop him a message. His work is a little pricey but he'll give you a discount for me, I recommend clients to him all the time."

"Really? Thank you, you are a blessing," Karen gushes, and then turns to wag a finger in Buck's face. "Do not lose this one, you hear me?"

Buck sips on his own wine. "I don't plan to."

--

Athena folds her arms and directs a nonplussed stare at the folder in front of her. She doesn't usually bring work home, especially when she has guests, but sometimes there's just no way around it. Bobby's still cooking with Buck acting as sous chef - they are bonding - so Tommy's playing her sounding board as she talks through the case, obfuscating the more sensitive details.

"There's no way she didn't hear the scream," she says.

Tommy frowns. Attractive and he listens well, Athena thinks approvingly. "Well, I don't know enough about acoustics to provide insights, but I know a guy, he works as a sound engineer and he studied acoustics for concert halls or something. You want his info?"

"That would be a lifesaver, thank you," Athena says, reaching across the table to grasp Tommy's hand.

--

"This is so stupid," Eddie grunts as he comes out of the bathroom, completely sodden and annoyed about it. "A firehouse full of competent people, and not a single one of us knows how to fix a broken pipe?"

Bobby, Hen, Chimney and Buck turn to look at Tommy, who's resting his (very nice) ass against Buck's jeep.

Tommy raises his eyebrows, his forehead wrinkling. "What?"

"I'll Google for a plumber," Bobby says, sighing.

[thefirstmammal]

jason is definitely a “i know a guy” guy like. you need Too Many fried shrimps ? ask jason he knows a guy

[writer-room]

Ahsoka is probably the person everyone means when they say “I know a guy”. Girl knows a bunch of senators, some ragtag rebels, many criminals, a handful of Imperialists, and a couple other random people dotted across the galaxy. If you ever need to find someone, you just call Ahsoka. Chances are high that she knows exactly who they are. Chances are even higher that she knows someone else who knows them. She runs around enough that it’s not that hard for her to just ram into them. Her one exception is Ezra Bridger, because apparently knowing a guy personally means it’s impossible to find him for over a decade.

[lifblogs]

Whump fun fact! If a character dislocates anything in their hand or wrist it can cause problems with nerves. They might feel a lot of tingling, or even numbness. Could be in their fingers, the hand, and even travel over their wrist and up their arm a bit. And if a dislocation doesn’t get help right away they could be looking at tendinitis in multiple areas, depending on the severity.

[sidetongue]

shreddex are you hiring

[little-ikea-waldo]

I Know a Guy // Catt

Matt had been thinking about it for a bit, and he didn't think him and Ryan could really have people take them seriously without escalating things to a point wheres it not even fun anymore. They were the fellas, funnymen, da boys. However, Corpse was a little mysterious to them still. He was dig and solid, covered in metal, and intimidating on anonymity alone, not to even mention the voice he could flex. It seemed like a safe alternative and a good excuse to make him come out to the parties, so he found himself trying to open Corpses door before knocking on it nonstop until he got an answer. Not hard, but unyielding, demanding the his audience. @necrxphxbia

[the-river-rix]

Nick and Davy met at a gay bar send post

[bellamby]

Just saw the new Ghostbusters and they used the "I know a guy" trope

When I was a kid, I thought that the "I know a guy" thing irl would be like "I know a guy who can translate that ancient script", or "I know a guy who might know what this mysterious artefact is."

As an adult, I know a guy who knows how to get a great deal for a mortgage, and another guy who always has a coupon that gets 20% when we eat out.

These guys are equally as cool to me as the "cool movie" guys were then.

(Also, a Fred sketch, because he's the best guy to know 🫡)

[things-with-teeth]

me, emailing my bookseller at 9:30 at night because I and a few friends have decided to get last second stocking stuffers for an entire bar staff: hey Renee you got the new Cormac McCarthy?

my friend, looking over my shoulder: I love that you like... know a guy?

[thatweirdoshep]

Writing Prompt #240

“Don’t worry, I know a guy.”

“...Is it me?”

[waitingona-mirabel]

I Know A Guy | Miratae

Mirabel was, admittedly, pretty clumsy. So all it really took was for her to not watch where she was going one night for her to stub her toe, grab her bookshelf for support, and send the whole thing crashing down along with her.

It was lucky, then, that she had a friend who worked in construction.

Mirabel didn’t know if this was really the kind of thing Tae normally did, but he’d told her about some of the smaller projects he’d worked on. So maybe this wasn’t such a stretch. 

“It’s so embarrassing. I’m sorry,” Mirabel chuckled self-consciously as she opened the door to her dorm room and showed Tae what remained of her bookshelf. “But, uh, yeah. What do you think? Can we salvage it?”

[outfit]

@moon-yeongtae

[service4cops]

"So I said, 'you can go down to the station, or you can go down on me'".

Telling his buddy about the first time I serviced him and swallowed his balls dry.

It was enough to get his bud to think "fuck yeah, I need some of that" and so they stopped by and took turns using my mouth, before dumping their loads down my throat, making me swallow their ball liquor.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[iwasntstable]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was gonna need a miracle