#I know a guy

[teslafactory]

this is the most tumblrified man to have ever existed

[randomflower-in-a-field]

Damien saying "I know a guy" but it's just Marinette in various costumes

I have this idea that won't leave me alone, so I thought I'd share it so that others may be cursed with thinking about it too.

(This can be read as either sibling or dating Daminette)

Damien is all grown up and joined the Justice League as a permanent hero. Everyone knows he was Robin, so they think there won't be any surprises. Until there's a big mission and they need to infiltrate somewhere and plant cameras for evidence (or something). However, this place is a fortress (like the best anti-hero security money can buy) and the only way in is through the vents which are too small for humans to fit through.

The Justice League meeting turns into one big loud argument. Until Damien says, "I know a guy."

Obviously, he's very dodgy about his contact, but he says they can be trusted. Since, he's Robin, they let it slide.

The Justice League is all waiting at the contact spot when Marinette pulls up. They're confused, Damien is light-tipped, and she's in her multimouse ensemble looking all cute.

Marinette pulls off the mission then dips and Damien is stubborn even when Batman questions him. (Could be either good parent or bad parent Bruce Wayne).

Eventually, they let it drop. Until another big mission happens and they need a specific skill set and Damien says, "I know a guy." Cue Marinette with a different miraculous.

This keeps happening.

The Justice League assumes all the girls are different people and they're very confused like, "Robin, where do you keep finding these girls?"

Cue lots of half thought-out shenanigans

[peppermintquartz]

The Guy Who Knows a Guy

--

"We need you to move from here," Bobby says, pointing to the grate in the ceiling, "through the ventilation, and up."

"Too narrow," Chimney grunts after he takes a peek from standing on Buck's shoulders.

As he lets Chimney to the floor, Buck doesn't even bother to volunteer. His shoulders are too broad. "Hang on, I'll call Tommy."

"Tommy? He's flexible but I don't think he can go through that," Chimney begins to say, but Buck waves his brother-in-law silent.

"Hey, Evan."

"Hey Tommy. Listen, don't ask, but we need a contortionist. You know a guy in L.A.?"

"Sure do. I'll send his work contact over. Love you."

"Love you too, bye." Buck ends the call and then sees the looks on both Bobby's and Chimney's faces. "What? He knows a guy. We'll get into that office and get what we need and get out."

--

Karen wishes she majored in entomology. Then she'll know what to do about these goddamn ants that have suddenly colonized her office and no amount of bug spray or traps or bait seem to get rid of.

"And I'm bloody terrified one of them will hitchhike on me and I bring them home and the next thing I know I'm plagued by them in my own bed," she rants over a glass of white wine.

Hen sighs. "She has become way too spray-happy with the insecticide in the house."

Tommy shrugs. "I know a guy. He got rid of termites in my yard. Five years on, termite free. I'll send you his work number and drop him a message. His work is a little pricey but he'll give you a discount for me, I recommend clients to him all the time."

"Really? Thank you, you are a blessing," Karen gushes, and then turns to wag a finger in Buck's face. "Do not lose this one, you hear me?"

Buck sips on his own wine. "I don't plan to."

--

Athena folds her arms and directs a nonplussed stare at the folder in front of her. She doesn't usually bring work home, especially when she has guests, but sometimes there's just no way around it. Bobby's still cooking with Buck acting as sous chef - they are bonding - so Tommy's playing her sounding board as she talks through the case, obfuscating the more sensitive details.

"There's no way she didn't hear the scream," she says.

Tommy frowns. Attractive and he listens well, Athena thinks approvingly. "Well, I don't know enough about acoustics to provide insights, but I know a guy, he works as a sound engineer and he studied acoustics for concert halls or something. You want his info?"

"That would be a lifesaver, thank you," Athena says, reaching across the table to grasp Tommy's hand.

--

"This is so stupid," Eddie grunts as he comes out of the bathroom, completely sodden and annoyed about it. "A firehouse full of competent people, and not a single one of us knows how to fix a broken pipe?"

Bobby, Hen, Chimney and Buck turn to look at Tommy, who's resting his (very nice) ass against Buck's jeep.

Tommy raises his eyebrows, his forehead wrinkling. "What?"

"I'll Google for a plumber," Bobby says, sighing.

[writer-room]

Ahsoka is probably the person everyone means when they say “I know a guy”. Girl knows a bunch of senators, some ragtag rebels, many criminals, a handful of Imperialists, and a couple other random people dotted across the galaxy. If you ever need to find someone, you just call Ahsoka. Chances are high that she knows exactly who they are. Chances are even higher that she knows someone else who knows them. She runs around enough that it’s not that hard for her to just ram into them. Her one exception is Ezra Bridger, because apparently knowing a guy personally means it’s impossible to find him for over a decade.

[lifblogs]

Whump fun fact! If a character dislocates anything in their hand or wrist it can cause problems with nerves. They might feel a lot of tingling, or even numbness. Could be in their fingers, the hand, and even travel over their wrist and up their arm a bit. And if a dislocation doesn’t get help right away they could be looking at tendinitis in multiple areas, depending on the severity.

[little-ikea-waldo]

I Know a Guy // Catt

Matt had been thinking about it for a bit, and he didn't think him and Ryan could really have people take them seriously without escalating things to a point wheres it not even fun anymore. They were the fellas, funnymen, da boys. However, Corpse was a little mysterious to them still. He was dig and solid, covered in metal, and intimidating on anonymity alone, not to even mention the voice he could flex. It seemed like a safe alternative and a good excuse to make him come out to the parties, so he found himself trying to open Corpses door before knocking on it nonstop until he got an answer. Not hard, but unyielding, demanding the his audience. @necrxphxbia

[the-river-rix]

Nick and Davy met at a gay bar send post

[bellamby]

Just saw the new Ghostbusters and they used the "I know a guy" trope

When I was a kid, I thought that the "I know a guy" thing irl would be like "I know a guy who can translate that ancient script", or "I know a guy who might know what this mysterious artefact is."

As an adult, I know a guy who knows how to get a great deal for a mortgage, and another guy who always has a coupon that gets 20% when we eat out.

These guys are equally as cool to me as the "cool movie" guys were then.

(Also, a Fred sketch, because he's the best guy to know 🫡)

[thatweirdoshep]

Writing Prompt #240

“Don’t worry, I know a guy.”

“...Is it me?”

[iwasntstable]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was gonna need a miracle

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[service4cops]

"So I said, 'you can go down to the station, or you can go down on me'".

Telling his buddy about the first time I serviced him and swallowed his balls dry.

It was enough to get his bud to think "fuck yeah, I need some of that" and so they stopped by and took turns using my mouth, before dumping their loads down my throat, making me swallow their ball liquor.

[wordsaremylife]

I know a guy like this. Excellent

So there are some perks to living in a tourist destination. There are a lot of detractors mostly that you cannot shoot the tourists because you rely on them for your income but you have a semi captive audience with no context for any of the bullshit you spew. You can tell these people anything and they will believe you, the trusted friendly local. Now this is a very much Spider-Man situation where Great Power begets Great Audacity and even worse Responsibility.

My buddy goes on a run and when hes done there is a bar near a creek. So he wades into the creek because the day is hot and the water is cold.

Tourists ask what hes up to, with his running stuff he didn't want wet piled on the shore and him very obviously cooling off in the water. He says he's fishing.

But now here is why I am telling you this story. The universe occasionally aligns in such a way that we get to really really fuck with people and their perception of said universe. The opportunities do not come often and when they come you must seize the day. This is what my buddy did.

So this Creek runs through town and as a result of the highway and neighborhoods and culverts and roads it does not have a great salmon run. It's a short Creek the headwaters are only a few miles from the ocean it never had a great salmon run to begin with. But there are salmon.

One such fish brushes past my buddy's leg. Immediately he knees the fish like he is juggling a soccer ball and pops it out of the water, then slaps it out of the air on to the shore.

This is dumb luck. He could not do this again if he spent years training. Noodling (catching fish with your hands) is a thing that is legal to do with salmon but it is so much harder than literally every other way to catch salmon, including grabbing them with a garbage can. What he just managed is the kind of thing that should make you want to grab the fish and swing it around your head like a stripper with her panties off.

But,

He has an audience.

This is the opportunity offered by the universe.

He plays it cool.

He puts on dead pan straight face on and wades up to shore to grab his fish and nod to the tourists. Someone asks something and he assures them this is the standard way to get a quick dinner here. The tour guide has caught up with his group. He looks at my buddy and his fish and the general lack of fishing accoutrement. Without missing a beat, the guide backs up every ounce of bullshit out of my buddys mouth because if there is one true fraternity it is locals bullshitting stupid tourists.

[danlous]

Ignoring the real possibility he intentionally let himself be caught from the little we know so far Luigi Mangione's case is a fascinating combination of astonishing brilliance and confusing stupidity. This young man plans and executes his assassination and escape with such a meticulous care and calmness that it's suspected that he's a professional hitman. He comes up with Riddler-sque moves like writing his manifesto poetically on the bullets and leaving his backpack behind full of Monopoly money. He carefully wears a mask to avoid being identified but removes it because a woman who was checking him into the hostel was flirting with him and wanted to see his smile. He still manages to escape the most surveilled city in the country in the midst of ongoing national manhunt only to get caught in the middle of bumfuck nowhere Pennsylvania while eating at the McDonalds. Because for some reason he had the same clothes and mask as in New York and was carrying the same gun and suppressor. And when the cops detained him he showed them the same fake id he used in New York. And oh yeah he's a frat bro gym rat who has a masters degree in computer science from Penn but reads stupid self-help books about being on the grind and is 'anti-woke' while being bisexual suffering from anxiety and wanting to end oppressive capitalism. Not even god himself could invent a person like this