#i knew it was to blame somehow
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aw man i just realized my whole "tumblr aesthetic" is just outlast 2
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tai i'm not joking you casted a daze spell on me w/ your hamilton au like it is genuinely all i've been thinking abt for the past few hours. oh my god broken maria...
PYGHAGHGH
ive been wanting to do drawings for it but ive gotten so busy lately–
THIS IS SO CUTE THOUGHHH
biting scratching tearing
i love . hinm
#frills this is SOOOO#im so glad you see the vision#somehow i knew you would#stub couldnt say no I dont blame him#brok#stp doodles
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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Mark's immature trait jumps out HARD sometimes
#i'm thinking specifically in terms of the markate dynamic#he can be like. pretty unfair to her#no to say that it's totally one-sided#i've already complained about the crystal exchange here#but something i haven't brought up is the moment where he basically blames kate for charlie getting mad that he was talking shit#as if 1. kate somehow made him say those things and it wasn't his own choice and 2. she somehow knew that charlie was listening#it just makes no sense to take issue with HER for that#tee dee eye em#rambles
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beloved anon. i got ur prompt. unfortunately, that will be part of the fic so i cannot write it </3
#somehow i just knew that that would be a prompt lmfaoooo#and i don't blame you!!! momtara and dadko are everything to me#also dw about me being distracted the ghoul won't free me until i finish this fic <3#u can send in another if u want!
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I do feel so sorry for Briseis. She was truley free for a moment just to get killed by a spear thrown by Achilles son
#this was so casual crule in the name of being honest....#it is a tragedy by itself in on so many level...#imagine being a young girl & then these soldiers come destorying your home & killing your father...#then they enslave you & some king wanting you as price just for a younger men stepping forward...#& then somehow you get adoped by to gay dudes who are technical the bad guys....#but they treat you well never hurt you trying to give you a good life & they help more girls & you form a weird family bond...#it feels almost like a home...#just for the prince to get offended by the old king and the king wanting you as a price & nobody stops it...#but the other gay dude makes a deal with the old king so that he dont hurt/harm you in any way....#but then the gay dude dies and you blame the other dude....& then he dies at well & then his never mentioned son comes#& wants you as a sex slave because he doesnt know his dad was gay & thinks you gave him pleasure...so when he wants to take you you escape#& you swim & swim & swim & You think you can be free & safe far away just to get hit by a spear.#A spear you knew his father was famous for...#And you die and sink to the bottom of the sea where no man can ever reach you again.#i need a moment...#the song of achilles#briseis
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Lads i have Fucked Up Big Time
#somehow I just. Fuckin. Forgot. That if I wanna switch my major that I have to do a bunch if shit#and I missed the deadline for it because I didn't realize that I needed to do it and also forgot to reach out about it until WAY too late#so now I can't do anything until the spring#which is also bad because I don't know what the fuck my class schedule should be!!!!!!!#advisor told me that I can talk to her after the enrollment period and schedule a meeting and we can figure out what I'm doing from there#but like. ouggggggghhg#Im so worried there's gonna be some fuckup with my schedule and I won't be able to register for enough classes to be a full time student#which would be so bad#idk should I just wait until AFTER the enrollment period??? and just have no classes???#I'm gonna try and register for a few classes so I at the very least have Something in my schedule#mainly ones for my current (old) major and a few of the new classes#because multiple classes that I need to take I can Only take them IF I'm enrolled in that major. Which I'm currently not because I'm stupid#im just stressed now and unfortunately there isn't much i can do 🥰#i don't even know which classes I should be trying to take. I can GUESS but like who the fuck knows#so i can't even try and plan out a potential schedule i just get to sit on my ass and stress#sighh. im gonna try to not think about it bc its gonna stress me out#on one hand it's tempting to blame like. idk. literally every adult i talked to because none of them actually told me#“Hey btw you actually need to go to this office and fill out this paperwork and submit it by a due date”#they were just like yeah okay u can take some classes. and then we'll figure it out later#like. i would have gone and done the shit if I knew I needed to do iT!!!!#but also I should have sat down and looked more into it to so#bleughhhhhhhh#I'm just stressed. and annoyed. at myself mainly because like. duh of course I'd have to go fill out paperwork but I just was like#“Yeah I'll talk to my advisor later” and kept pushing shit off until it was too late <3#idk man im. so tired#hopefully it'll all work out okay and fine and i won't have the shittiest schedule on earth next semester#and hopefully the classes i need won't fill up!!!! :))))))#ahahahahahsh#im fucked man#lilac post
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It is not often I can stay away from sharing the joy of music and songwriting at an open mic event - today was one of those nights unfortunately...
#i felt so out of place and awkward there#maybe it wasnt the right time#it seemed like everybody knew one another and i was the odd one out#listening to the person starting out the evening by playing and talking about his songs made me feel so insignificant#i felt so tiny so useless and so utterly alone#like what i would share would not be worth anything#so i went home#the self hate cloud overtook me and i am still feeling the boiling anger but directed at myself#i am glad i went there in a way but yeah it wasnt meant to be#hopefully i will calm down soon so i can go to bed without hating myself too much#that would be nice#could be now i should actually respond to inbox messages for forever ago#hopefully that wont make me look attention/validationseeking#sometimes i wish i had a partner if only to have somebody to hold when i feel shitty#in such moments i feel extra touchstarved#i needed the pressure to get myself out of my head somehow#so i bore my nails into my neck#a hug would have been better and less hurtful#but nobody is around and i only have myself to blame for that#stop it micah nothing good comes out of these thoughts#sorry about that#micahs thoughts
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Omg I totally forgot you can actually see a lot of vessel's face in the fall for me video if you pause it at the right time - around the 'oh god I wish you were here' line. We get cheeks, some nose, mouth but all without the paint 😧
#I knew this yet it somehow slipped my mind#gonna blame brainrot#4am thoughts#sleep token#shitpost#i really need to go to bed now i think 🙃
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finally listening to julien baker’s albums and its consequences on michael’s playlist
#somehow i knew this would happen#i’ve been meaning to for awhile can you blame me for taking this long tho#SHE WAS INSANE FOR BLOODSHOT??#it’s the I Am The Worst Person To Ever Walk The Earth of it all jfc#⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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late night horror peeping sesh is underway
#angry words incoming#anyway#the fact i had a fucking anxiety attack before i told the teacher what caused the fucking anxiety attack then she says and i quote#“i knew that would probably upset you'' after she says it then is fucking shocked when i dont want to talk to her anymore#then i get fucking blamed and am expected to fucking apologize all by my mother#im so tempted to fuckibg double down and completely ignore the fucking teacher out of spite and tell fucking everyone because god#my mother can never be on my fucking side the other party is always the fucking victum somehow i actually cant stabd it#this was the reason i got a councilor referral#because im pretty sure i started dissociating after it happened#it was shit then two days after my mother after pretending to give a fuck lost her shit and told me how annoying it was#that the whole thing happened 😀 so yeah im so normal
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ALSO i was a lawyer in a trial (it was specifically called a mock-trial, nothing about this was legal but it was important to us) and I have no fucking clue what I was supposed to be proving. There wasn’t even another lawyer it was just me out there.
#my post#also we were renting out the basement of a restaurant to hold it in#we would all meet there every evening#i think they were just hashing out 400 year old drama#oh also this took place in the merged human and demon realms (this is somehow the same dream as the last one)#and the merging of realms somehow brought a handful of old graves field residents back from the dead#the 3 major undead players were this GIANT man who could remove his head who admitted to stabbing Caleb wittebane#and a lady who was accused of MURDERING Caleb#and the lady’s dad who was all-too willing to accept that she killed a man#i of course knew who ACTUALLY had killed Caleb#because I was. a conspiracy theorist/history nerd human that had become trapped in the boiling isles temporarily as the worlds grew closer#to merging. it wasn’t common knowledge that belos was actually a human in tbi and even fewer people knew he was Philip wittebane#anyways the giant man was up on the stand (we had no stand. he just stood next to me) and he. told quite a story.#apparently he’d gotten into an argument with Caleb (who was holding THE knife) and gotten angry#and so took Caleb’s knife holding arm. twisted it around. and tried to stab him in the head.#this didn’t go well and Caleb then tried to stab him in the. not quite the shoulder more like the collarbone? this also didn’t really work#i blame the weird shape of THE knife. anyways they both backed off when a THIRD person crept up behind caleb#took the knife from his hand#and stabbed him in the back.#the giant claimed that the third person was the lady. the lady went up on the stand and was cryinggggg and her dad was ready to throw her in#prison but I wasn’t convinced (read: I KNEW RHE TRUTH) and the judge decided we’d come back to this tomorrow#as we were leaving I went up to the giant man and asked him one more time who the third person was. he admitted that he didn’t actually know#bitch. anyways then I had to drive my siblings home.#i may or may not have been violet baudelaire. i may have just been a younger version of myself but I’m not sure.#also there was this creepy statue doll thing outside the restaurant that we could see through the basement windows. it looked like it was#smirking down at us. on day 4 of the trial my brother pointed out that it kinda looked like baby belos. hm. didn’t like that.#anyways that was a fun dream. still dunno what I was supposed to be proving bcus I need to emphasize how much the whole Caleb murder thing#was NOT the point of the trial.#oh also the restaurant was important bcus since the realms merged it sat on top of both the location of the old gravesfield courthouse/where#the giants attempted stabbing a went down AND the location of Caleb’s murder in the demon realm. so. uh. there’s that.
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in hindsight i do see how saying thats a lie instead of something like thats not true or just being like no i bought it contributed to the pressure cooker of the situation but i still get mad when i think about this
#but i absolutely could have started off the conversation with where is my soap. but instead i asked the people who had been in my apartment#for a week while i wasnt there before i moved out if they knew where the soap that i left in the apartment before i left was#because of course they did. they were the only ones there! unless one of their guests that they never told me were coming over in the middle#of covid before any vaccine had been created#unless one of those fifty people who would come over every night without me knowing took it! btw i directly asked them when you have someone#coming over please let me know. you dont have to ask for permission i would just like to know when people who dont live here are going to be#in my apartment. and i said this in our second week of living together when it happened for the first time#i got notice that people were coming over like once maybe twice. sometimes i would overhear them talking about people coming over and find#out that way at least!#the nerve to accuse me of stealing like everything that they lost they blamed me for eating their ham and chicken chow mein when I WAS#LITERALLY VEGETARIAN like they would either eat their own food and forget about it or eat each others food and then just blame it on me. and#then they actually stole my shit! and tried to steal more! and got mad that i took the things that i paid for when i moved out!#they said we were splitting the cost of a vacuum three ways but made me pay more than the two of them for it. and then got so mad when i#took the vacuum (BECAUSE I PAID FOR MOST OF IT) that my mom just made me pay them what they paid#I DIDNT GET MY SHARE OF THE COUCH BACK BTW!!! OR THE TV TABLE!!!!! and btw their excuse for making me pay more for the vacuum was oh well we#also bought something else with the money you gave us for the vacuum and didnt tell you about it. so actually its was completely fair. 🙄#sorry theyre so fucking infuriating like literally roommates from hell but somehow i was the shit roommate#and i was the reason we had rats 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 like be fucking for real like be serious for one time in your life at least. please.
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If you, like my initial thought, think that this is a scandalous claim on poor Alfie, you might want to read the post OP has linked. It will be upsetting, unfortunately, but unless you want to continue with the radicalised fanon view of things, maybe check it out.
I'm sorry for what you will see there :( I felt similar feelings [take a peek at my comment on there, and you'll understand]
Reading this post made me think that not only does Alfred come up with some of the stuff that's most hurtful to Jason, not only is he an enabler to Bruce, but most importantly Jason doesn't know. Sure, Jason knows that Alfred at the very least allows Bruce to do the things he does, but he doesn't have any way of knowing to which degree he agrees with them.
Alfred came up with the Good Soldier memorial but Jason doesn't know that. Alfred is a big proponent of the "Jason did this to himself" side but Jason doesn't know that. Like the post says, Alfred isn't there when Jason deals with these things.
I think it could be interesting if there's that separation not only in the readers minds but also the kids. Tim might be the only one that suspects and that's only because Alfred enthusiastically participates in the 16 birthday trauma fest. And I wouldn't put it past him to just ignore it, he doesn't seem very keen in recognizing Bruce hurting him either.
Alfred is polite and he takes the role of caretaker. He patches them up, he makes them food, he makes sassy remarks and reminds them to stay safe. You don't want to reconcile that person with the one that says you kinda brought your own death onto yourself. Especially if you don't know he said that.
The potential angst of Jason being extremely fond of Alfred, his vision of his dad tainted by the trauma while his grandpa's remains clean, only to learn he is behind some of the worst things that happened to your memory since your death.
So he goes back to the mansion, he expects Alfred to sneer at him, to show his new disgust plain and simple. But he is just as pleasant as he ever was, offering you some refreshments and admonishing you for wearing your dirty boots on the carpet. He's always been like this.
#prev tags#That’s what I’m sayinggg. I wanted to reply with something like this to that post but I forgor#Jason doesn’t know!!! People are always like Jason wouldn’t think he’s unloved if he could see what it was like after he died#and I’m like babes are we sure about that cause there was a lot of victim blaming in that.#I for one do not want to see the fallout that would occur if Jason somehow#magically knew everything that was being said about him while he was thought to be dead I think it is integral to the health and safety of#everyone involved that Jason never finds out. Jason beat Tim’s ass without even knowing all the shit he was talking about him can you#imagine if he did 🙈. Jason doesn’t know about the victim blaming and that is a blessing to everyone#And Jason does still hold Alfred in high regard! Jason snuck into his funeral Jason threw a man off a building in vengeance for his death!!#Also this post describes my favorite take on Jason and Alfred’s relationship#Jason Todd#dc
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Not me getting my period today! 😭
#I knew it was gonna do this lol#ah well at least the cramps won’t hit until tomorrow lol#good thing I expected it and brought shit for it smh#also I’m somehow blaming Conan gray for this lol
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I love brown eyes, my grandfather had brown eyes and had the softest look in his eyes. I wish I had brown eyes too
#how come all the relatives I hate are still alive abd the only comfy one has died#because he was tired of the nonsense#slow death of an alcoholic#he once stopped drinking for 3 years when he had a heart attack but lived#and then spiraled back into drinking#and I don't blame him I would too#at least I'm happy that he's resting now and doesn't have to worry every day about the war and shit#that's no way to live#I know I knew nothing about him but he was literally the comfiest guy amongst my flesh n blood relatives#he's resting but I'm not and I should have called him a day before he died#I wanted to call BUT FUCKING FORGOT#I can't stand the feeling of loss#and my soul died with the ones I loved#keeping my head empty all the time and letting go of the need to somehow stabilise my mood swings#the darkest void inside won't go away and I know I can't hide it I can't run I can't escape it#just pitch black#smells.like.a.freakshow
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