#i knew it had been about a decade but dang.

[basicallyjaywalker]

so i got curious today and checked when the air date for S1E10 "The Green Ninja" was in my country and realized it was over eleven years ago. That was the first episode I ever watched and it activated the longest-running, most invested special interest I've ever had.

So now I'm curious. What was the first ninjago episode other people in the fandom watched? How long ago did it air? How are you, personally, contending with your own mortality because I was in elementary school when I first watched and now I'm a university student.

[scatterpatter]

one of the best things about embracing plurality and starting to actually admit I'm part of a system online is realizing just how many people in my spaces are also plural and its just

[punksyeet]

- Bestie Kisses & Birthday Wishes ❥

Plot: Gianna’s (OC) birthday wish is granted after spending a celebratory dinner with her best friend of over a decade.

Warning: Mature language, hefty flirting, & talks of smut!

"Thank you for dinner Josh," I coo, swirling my straw in my shirley temple. "It was amazing."

He shoots me that dreamy smile of his while taking a sip from his wine glass. "My pleasure, birthday girl. You know I had to go all out for you."

I smile shyly, before taking a strand of hair away from my face.

Joshua Fatu has been my best friend for over 15 years now, but within the past year or so, I've developed a little bit — well more like a lotta bit — of a crush on him.

Ever since he went solo in his job over at WWE, he's had this glow to him. And he's so much happier.

It's an attractive glow. And as his best friend, I love seeing him happy. More than anything.

Soon enough, I'm caught out of my daydreaming by a bunch of waiters coming over to our table with a cake.

It's baby pink and shaped like a heart, with white borders and long candles. 

I dramatically stick out my bottom lip as they sing to me.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday from Canoe!

Happy birthday to you!

I make a wish and blow out the candles and a bunch of people that are sat around us start cheering, Josh included.

I giggle and thank the servers as Josh daps up the manager, before they go back to their jobs.

"This cake is so pretty," I coo, staring at it dreamily.

He gives me another warm smile, taking pictures of me with it. "I remember a couple months ago you were looking at it on Pinterest. So I got the bakery by my place to make it for you."

"Ugh you're the sweetest," I reply, walking around the table and wrapping him into a hug. "Thank you."

He immediately hugs back, stroking my back. "You're welcome, love. Now come on. Let's see if this cake tastes as good as it looks."

I walk back over to my side, sit down, and we dig in.

The rest of our dinner is filled with more small talk, laughs, and even Josh putting frosting on my nose.

"I'm so full," I groan, walking back to the car.

Josh chuckles and walks beside me, his hand resting on my lower back. "Me too. But as long as you enjoyed the food, that's all that matters."

I nod, smiling softly. "I really did."

He smiles and opens the passenger door for me and takes my hand, helping me in.

Once he's in as well, we head off.

About 2 minutes into the drive, we decide to jam to some music.

I queue up "Love" by Keyshia Cole, and sing the words, serenading Josh as he drives.

He laughs and shakes his head as I belt the words.

Ohhhh loooooooooove!

Never knew what I was missin!

But I knew once we start kissin,

I foooo-ooo-oo-ooound....

Loooooooveeeeee!

Once the song is over, I try to catch by breath and lean back into my seat.

Josh looks over at me and chuckles. "You really sang that shit, huh?"

I nod giggling, and scan my playlist for more songs.

About 20 minutes later, we reach my place.

"Why don't you come inside?" I ask, taking my seatbelt off. "It's still early."

"You sure?" he asks. "I don't wanna be in the way if you wanna just relax for the rest of the night."

I roll my eyes playfully, and hop out of the car. "Boy we've been best friends for over a decade. You know you're never in the way. Now shut up and come inside."

He chuckles and gives in, hopping out of the car and following me up my walkway.

Once we get inside, the comforting smells of vanilla and lavender take over, immediately relaxing me.

"Dang I haven't been here in a hot minute," he exclaims, immediately taking a seat on the couch.

I nod in agreement, taking the cushion next to him and propping my elbow up on the top of the couch. "Cause you're never home anymore."

He gives me a soft smile. "I know. But you know how it is."

I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.

"But I'm here now!" he says, lightening the mood with a goofy dance.

I burst into laughter and whack him upside the head with a pillow. "You're such a goof!"

"And you love it," he replies, laughing along with me.

We share a hug before I get up and adjust my dress. "I'm gonna change. You need anything while I'm up?"

He shakes his head and pulls out his phone. "Nah I'm good, thank you. Take your time."

I nod, smiling and head up to my bedroom to pick out a comfier but still cute outfit.

I find a cute cropped white tank top and Hello Kitty pajama pants.

I head to the bathroom and remove my makeup, tie my hair into a messy bun, and head back downstairs.

Josh looks up when he hears my footsteps and smiles. "You look cute."

I smile back and take my seat next to him. "Thanks."

We hug and he kisses my temple.

He's been doing this in a brotherly way for years now, but for some reason, it feels different now.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" he asks, wrapping an arm around my waist and stroking my side.

I nod, laying my head on his shoulder. "Only the best when I'm with you."

"Good," he replies, smiling and laying his head back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him looking down at me.

After pondering for a little bit, I finally gain the confidence to look back, making us both smile in unison.

"Whatchu lookin at?" I tease, playfully messing with his hair.

He playfully pouts and folds his arms. "What? I can't look atchu no more?"

"Of course you can," I reply, flicking my hair off my shoulder. "Look all you want."

"Bet," he mutters under his breath and we have a mini staring contest before he speaks up again.

"You know," he begins. "You looked real pretty tonight."

Me? Sir, you looked delicious.

"Thank you," I reply, slightly blushing but doing my very best to hide it. "You looked good too. You always do."

He gives me a soft smile and takes a strand of hair out of my face. "Can I be honest?"

I smile, scooting myself so I'm fully facing him. "Of course you can. You know I'm always listening."

He takes a deep breath before talking again. "I really wanna kiss you right now."

My breathing hitches and I stop dead in my tracks.

"Y-you what?" I ask, making sure I heard him correctly and it wasn't just another one of my daydreams.

"I wanna kiss you," he repeats. "I've wanted to for years now."

My jaw drops open in shock. "Years?"

He nods, biting his lip. "I never had the balls to go about shooting my shot, despite me having zero game. And I loved our friendship too much to end it over what I thought was a silly crush. But as we've gotten older, I realized that it's more than just that. I love you, Gianna. Like I love love you. And I want to make you mine, ma."

I just sit there, speechless.

Everything that just came out of his mouth is exactly how I feel.

I just never knew the right words.

I take a deep breath before responding.

"Well I'm glad one of us had the courage to say it," I say, my voice just above a whisper. "Because I love you too."

He raises an eyebrow. "Really? You're not just saying that?"

I shake my head, biting my lip gently. "My crush on you has only gotten bigger throughout the years. I just didn't know how or when to tell you. I didn't wanna lose you forever."

"Baby," he coos, cupping my face. "It would take some next level fucked up shit for you to lose me. Let alone forever. Regardless of anything and everything, I'm always gonna be here. Okay?"

I nod slowly, and play with his curls. "Okay."

We stare into each other's eyes for a bit more until I make the first move, slowly leaning in and placing my lips on his.

He automatically responds, our lips moving in sync the entire time.

God I've been waiting for this.

And I've never experienced anything more worth waiting for.

After a few seconds, we slowly pull away.

"Fuck that felt good," he mumbles, causing us to share a laugh.

I nod in agreement, before pressing our foreheads together gently. "It really did. Your lips are everything I've ever dreamed of."

"Well I'm glad they met your expectations," he replies with a soft smile before connecting our lips again, which this time, leads me to straddling his lap.

After lots of innocent touching, he pulls away and looks into my eyes.

"We can take this as far as you want," he exclaims, stroking my thighs. "Just say the words, baby."

I take a deep breath before responding, my fingers still tangled in his hair. "Joshua, I don't know about you, but I've been waiting for this moment for over a decade. Fuck the shit outta me for all I care."

"Well in that case," he replies, smirking and caressing my ass in his hands. "Let's get you laid back so you can enjoy yourself, babygirl. Because it's gonna be a long night."

I bite my lip gently and wrap my legs around his waist as he picks us up and walks upstairs to my bedroom.

And a long night it was.

In more ways than one.

—————————————————————————————————

I wake up and immediately stretch to the sound of birds chirping it up and the bright sunlight coming through my curtains.

My eyes flutter open and land on my now beautiful boyfriend, peacefully sleeping next to me.

I softly smile and lay back down in his arms, kissing the corner of his lips before pulling the covers over us once more.

He stirs in his sleep, pulling me in closer and sighing, before allowing light snores to pour out of him again.

A little while later, I get the random urge to pee.

I gently wiggle out of his grip and make my way to the bathroom, stumbling a little bit due to last night's thrilling events.

I do my business alongside my morning routine, before coming out and seeing Josh wide awake, scrolling on his phone.

He looks up and smiles when he sees me. "Morning, beautiful."

"Morning love," I reply, climbing back into bed.

We share a kiss before I lay back down and get comfortable again.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks, running his fingers through my hair.

"Mmmm like a baby," I reply dreamily, melting into his touch. "Thanks to my new friend down there."

He smirks and leans down to give me yet another kiss. "He's always been your friend. You two have just never met properly."

"Sir if you're implying that you've jacked off to me..." my voice trails off as he chuckles.

"Maybe," he replies, throwing his hands up. "Maybe not."

I playfully roll my eyes and act as though I'm going back to sleep. "It's too early for this."

He laughs and lays back down as well, attacking my face with kisses. "I love you, pretty mama."

"I love you more baby," I reply between giggles, before gently scratching his beard and kissing his jaw.

He wraps me back into his arms and, after lots more stolen kisses, we drift back to sleep.

I'm so glad the man of my dreams is finally mine.

Liked by uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, rikishi, and 93.7k others

giannamacri chapter twenty five: complete 💐

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uceyjucey The baddest birthday girl 👀🩷

trinity_fatu Gorgeous sis 😮‍💨🥰

Liked by giannamacri, jonathanfatu, rikishi, solosikoa, and 1.5M others

uceyjucey Happy birthday to my forever best friend and now the woman I can finally call mine. The baddest chick in the world. I love you baby. 🩵

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giannamacri i love you 🥹🥲🤍

jonathanfatu Happy for yall twin 🤞🏽🩸

Tag List: @uceyliyahh @christinabae ♡

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Follows, feedback, & reblogs appreciated! 🧚🏼‍♀️

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I used to be part of the TOH fandom but left after the finale - I felt it was very lacking and was a huge letdown for all the reasons you said. Patting itself on the back and lore erasure. But I'd like to ask about something different.

It's no secret Dana hates Disney. But saying it everywhere, the jabs at Disney in the actual show, the attitude of fans parroting her, especially when the news of the shortening was first out - it was legitimately intense. Disney the company has done bad things. But there was a period where I felt like a bad person for even remotely enjoying Disney movies and Disney-published books. I hated myself and felt I was 'betraying' the show, because I had been told Disney was the enemy and nothing more. Disney shortening the show was not a good decision. But it also provided fans with a convenient scapegoat to put every bit of blame on when the show had the tiniest flaw. Comics of beating up Mickey Mouse, 'Disney' being treated like a swear word, praising TOH as the holy grail of animation and saying Disney hated gay people - it made me feel I was a traitor to the show and to myself. (I'm still figuring out my sexuality, but I know I'm not straight.)

Do you think the Disney blame game was too much?

The toh fandom has this incredibly binary way of thinking; the show is the greatest thing in animation and if you don't agree then you're a bigot. Lumity is the best sapphic ship ever and if you don't think so then you're lesbophobic. Shipping non canon ships is tantamount to a war crime. And of course, any criticism of the show has the convenient Disney defense. Any and all flaws of the show is because Disney is evil for not letting the show reach its full potential.

Listen, getting your show cancelled or shortened sucks. But, unfortunately, it's not unique and writers need to prepare for that because it seems to be an occupational hazard in the entertainment industry. A lot of shows get cancelled without even having a conclusion (thank you Netflix for ending the Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on a cliffhanger! even after the show won a got dang Emmy! 😤) so people should be thankful that at least the toh crew were allowed to finish the story.

I can give grace when analyzing a show's elements knowing what the writers had to deal with. But if they make decisions knowing ahead of time that they only have half a season and 3 specials left, and proceed to add more characters and plot lines that would require a longer season, then those are all fair game.

Dana knew of the Shortening around the production of Eda's Requiem, yet decided to add the Collector, because screw it! We like this little guy and want to see where it goes! They had Hunter get possessed and kill his best friend, yet barely any time is given to him to process that trauma. In the penultimate episode, Boscha, of all people, gets a mini sub plot despite not being relevant for a full season. Luz's angst arc gets 4. separate. resolutions.

None of this is Disney's fault. This all on the crew for not using their precious time wisely and tossing whatever they can to the wall to see what sticks.

So yeah, the Disney blame game is too much but it's also a blessing in disguise because now it's a convenient shield for whoever doesn't want to hear criticism about the show.

As for feeling guilty about liking Disney; listen, Disney has been foundational for literally millions of people for decades. Its presence and influence is seemingly inescapable. And the company has done some awful things in the name of corporate greed and profit.

But you should never feel guilty for liking something that brings you joy.

Remember that writers and artists are responsible for the shows you love. Many queer folks have seen themselves in Disney movies for a variety of reasons and there are many queer artists that have worked for Disney (hi Howard Ashman and Andreas Deja!)

So no, you're not a traitor for liking Disney.

The toh fandom has a very reactionary, us-vs-them attitude and it's incredibly toxic. So don't let the haters get you down!

I wish you well on your journey and hope you're in a better place.

Thank you for the ask!

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep8 Musings - Loustat (SPOILERS) Pt2: Reunion

You don't know the HALF of what Lestat feels for Louis, to let YOUR grimy arse steal his man, just for LOUIS's happiness. ANYTHING for Louis.

Am I the only one who felt left hanging? We BEEN knew it didn't make sense, but what's your POINT, exactly? If Louis misremembered Lestat whispering, it's just par for the course about the odyssey of recollection. But if Lestat DID do telepathy, is that evidence of...what? That the vampire bond works differently than what's been explained? That he COULD read Lou's mind? AMC, this is AGGRAVATING.

Your goose is COOKED, my guy.

The copium & denial pack Louis was smoking as he laughed was 🤌

That's right, start sweating!

Master manipulation; cuz he certainly would NOT have, as we soon find out. ANYTHING for Louis. (Dang, Imma have to take back some of what I said about Lestat's character development not having started yet.)

I was shocked. I was NOT expecting this plot twist. I was ready to throw Lestat out with the rest of the TRASH, in the DUMP. Well dang. Guess I'll only leave him rotting in a TINY landfill.

I nearly SCREAMED--@nashvillethotchicken and I were talking about Loustat as Bobby and Whitney ages ago! I cannot BELIEVE AMC threw in a New Edition reference in the year of our lord 2024; y'all are diabolical AF, Rolin, STOP IT.

I wonder if AMC used Hurricane Odette cuz the OG script was set in pandemic!2020, so it would make sense that a year later Louis would head back to NOLA during 2021 when Hurricane Odette last hit.

That looks like NOLA's Pontchartrain Hotel--lemme find out he bumped into the Mayfairs when Rowan & them were in town, LOL.

Lestat got more aliases than the KGB; meanwhile Louis just sprinkles his long AF unique AF name all over the place. 🤦 But I guess it's ok, since the tour guide never mentioned him & Claudia by name. (Not Tom Anderson in another finale, LOL.) Louis so offended the tour guide said he ran a voodoo cult. XD

Fall of the House of Lioncourt-Melmouth.

You're gosh darned right! THEE Louis of Troy is in the building!

You love to see it. "A wearisome fledgling; all the millennials are--" not Lestat making PALE PROXIES of rat-catcher extraordinare LDPDL out of millennials. 😭

Lestat, if you don't get your crazy arse outta here with that bloodstained wooden keyboard Imma ROTFLMFAO.

NO JOKE, I effed up my friend's whole set when I started screaming "Siri, Pause," cuz my friend's Siri started freaking out and effed up the volume! XD

HERE WE EFFING GOOOOOOOO

(Best scene all season, fight me on this)

You know this was TEARING Lestat up, cuz of what happened in 1973--I gave Louis to you so you could do BETTER by him than EYE did, and instead it's NICKI ALL OVER AGAIN.

Imma smack him--this is NOT the time to be self-loathing, Lestat!

NOLA is my home--and the SAINT is not a city--I'm gonna cry.

He did. He just forgot, when reality settled in and the allure/nostalgia/glamour wore off. "I tried to make nights awful for you." Not the whole time, Louis. Y'all actually were happy b4--even Claudia said "the easy times" stopped after Florence died; and esp. after Charlie died. Lou can't be blamed for grieving his mom's death, and he definitely can't be blamed for Lestat & Claudia falling out after Charlie. Everything that happened after that--the 7 years of depression--was ALSO Lestat's fault. "I wanted you to suffer, cuz I was suffering;" I'm glad Les just waved that aside and said they BOTH wronged e/o.

He's not suicidal anymore then! He has nights in front of him to look forward to! So Lou can finally "learn to live honestly" with HIMSELF.

And Lestat dove RIGHT ON IN with that! He's been carrying that with him for DECADES, worried about Louis & what happened.

I LOVE that Les' language changes (the way his voice CRACKS and goes so TINY, oml)--he asked Lou in 1973 if he was "ill," and if something had happened TO him; so as to not spook/trigger or blame him--but he can ask more candidly now in a (relatively) "healthier" 2024 if Lou tried to hurt/kill himself; and get a more candid/honest answer. CLOSURE, y'all, I'm gonna cry.

GOOOOOOD. Don't EVER forget your daughter. Y'all need to have a Claudia Memorial; to KEEP remembering her, as she was in all her vampiric splendour, the good times AND the bad times.

I KNOW this hurt Louis to his effing core. The way Jacob cried FIRE!

I'm so glad Lou hugged him--YES YOU WERE, Uncle Les. And you KNOW it; you FELT that bond b/t y'all, even if she never looked at you. The distance b/t y'all was in name only, cuz a little Black girl couldn't have TWO daddies in 1917 and have one of them be white on top of it. I AM YOUR MAKER, sure, but you were her BLOOD FATHER, and she loved you, which is why she hoped you'd help her.

ANOTHER ROUND IN THE STORMY ROMANCE OF YOU TWO. 😭👏

What are these magical off-mic speeches/pep-talks Louis keeps giving people in Season 2?!? THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW, gosh darnit!

DRATS.

I get why Jam said they thought the Loustat ending was "satisfying." It was nice, even though I'd've preferred to see Lestat in the Dubai penthouse at the end. :\

I LOVE THIS, AMC, thank you! ❤️

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Reader/ .o8

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, some light teasing, more tutoring sessions, and Sukuna punches a pervert!

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.125k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I've felt mentally drained so I'm going to finish this dang chapter holy frick did this take so long :D

. . .

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy! ❤️

. . .

Sleep didn't come easy to you, and it was expected. Seeing Sukuna in his vulnerable state, having him confirm a small doubt in your mind, and having Shoko spur on your aching heart.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you needed to force it. You can't force someone to love you back.

Sukuna had his reasons, and it didn’t concern you in the slightest. You told yourself that as much as possible when you felt the need to say something to him after lessons and classes, or do simple things like ask about his day. When you wanted to ask, you bit your tongue and stayed silent. Sticking to the normal day to day chit chat between classmates.

Don’t bug him more than you already do. You say to yourself as you lift your fist up and knock on the door a few times.

There was a quiet "enter" from his side of the door, and when you did as told you didn't see Sukuna in the living room or kitchen like normal.

"Sukuna?" You asked, confusion filling your brain. You continued to wander around the dorm until Sukuna's bedroom door opened up, revealing a disheveled man.

His hair a mess, t-shirt lopsided and somewhat dirty, and boxers on full display. You quickly averted your eyes, trying to save Sukuna his dignity. "Hello to you too."

He waved before heading into his bedroom to change and look cleaner. Moving yourself to your usual space on the couch, you pulled out your things and started flipping through a notebook.

There was almost no noise, besides the random grunts of Sukuna shuffling through his things. Even your thoughts going quiet and jumbled with the notes in your book. Writing things down and not noting the shadow being cast over you by Sukuna.

"Hey, what're you working so hard on?" His voice broke your train of thought, making you look up at him.

"Uhm, tutoring?" You responded, a questioning tone in your voice. "Why?"

Sukuna sighed, resting his cheek against his fist, maroon eyes scanning your figure. "Don't you wanna have fun instead?"

The question catches you off guard and you chuckle, patting his knee in an almost loving manner. "I don't think you should have fun until you get better grades."

"God, you sound like my mother!"

You crinkle your nose as Sukuna's rather modest laughter fills the air. It had been a while since you saw a smile.

With a sigh, you straightened your posture and started to the session, seeing Sukuna's eyes begin to glaze over in a bored pout. You didn't like doing much studying either, but keeping your grades up mattered to you.

Sukuna knew this, watching you diligently work with him to help. So determined..

——

"..How are your parents?" He asked, his eyes lazily looking towards you.

It had been an hour since the tutoring had started that day, and Sukuna's mind was elsewhere. It was dull, the schedule he has wrapped himself into. It was the same thing everyday, seeing the hundreds of students around campus and ending up stuck in his dorm with you.

Talking about equations and random stuff he was already familiar with became tedious. Even though he was willing just to see you.

Never say that out loud though.

"Oh, they're fine," You answered, a slightly confused look on your face as you tapped the cap of your red pen on the notebook.

Sukuna raised a brow, scooting himself closer into your space, a small smile on his face. "That's not specific enough. I wanna know how they're doing."

I just told you– "Well, my dad's working on some project for the house apparently. He wanted to make a garden for it."

"Your dad's still the plant guy, huh?"

You pout your lips as Sukuna's curled into a smirk. "Not always. He got into sports cars for some reason, even though he's a planet health guy."

Sukuna chuckles at this before starting to write a few things down in his notebook. You grumble with a slightly warm flush filling your cheeks. Either way, you couldn't really complain much, his smirk made you feel warm inside.

"Are you done with the questions I gave you?" You asked, leaning your head over and bumping your cheek against Sukuna's shoulder.

"Yeah, the last one stumps me though.."

After teasing him for a few moments about his blunders and getting side eyed for the next twenty minutes, you eventually were able to explain the problem before Sukuna pointing out how late it had gotten.

"I could order a pizza and you just sleep over again." He said as he put away his things, placing a hand on his hip. "It'd be best, this dorm is filled with shit drunk guys."

"Aw, you're so sweet," You responded, lifting your bag over your shoulder strap while hiding all the giddy cuteness inside you. "But it's just a five minute walk to my place. I'll be fine!"

There was a hostile look of discontent in his maroon eyes that read: How dare you say no to me?

A confused shiver was sent down your spine before you sighed and pat Sukuna's arm, heading towards the door. "I'll text you when I get home, promise."

Letting out a small grunt, Sukuna eventually caved and you went home. Although he did threaten that he'll give you a stern talking to if he didn't get a text.

He's got more layers than an onion.*

Though, as you made your way home, you bumped into someone. His hair was messy, sunglasses barely hanging onto his head with his hair pushed back, and pants dirtier than your crustiest sock. But his pink cheeks and glossy eyes didn't betray you in recognizing one of your weirdest friends to date.

"Satoru? What are you doing out?" You place a hand on the males exposed forehead and humming to yourself. "..Are you high, drunk, or sick?"

With a delayed reaction, a hiccup, and a pout, you got this. "My girl, you're judgy so muchy~ Let me life without demands!"

You raise a brow and scoff. I know he'll regret this drinking in the future.

"Fine, but I have to go home now," You say, patting the disheveled mans shoulder, a smile on your face. "Don't trip walking up those stairs!"

But as you said goodbye, Gojo leaned in and placed a soft peck on your cheek with surprising accuracy. You blink in confusion as Gojo smiles loosely and pets your head. "Don't hurt yourself either, Miss best friend chaser!"

Before words could process, or a thought was able to work the cogs in your headspace, there was a grunt and a very big "someone's jaw might have gotten broken" sound.

. . .

a/n: hope you guys have been doing well! srry i haven't posted in almost two months maybe really, so many things came up. I was worried about mental health for a while, wasn't feeling motivated to write much but then smthing else happened. Huge changes are happening so we might end up with another writer's drought lmao (I'm going to college soon and do adult things ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙;;;)

*and if u didnt get the reference I'll scream*

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[misscammiedawn]

You may have discussed it before, but would you mind speaking a little bit on how you discovered you have DID?

I feel like I have a pretty stable core identity but there have been times under intense stress where I’ve experienced sudden “switches” in my personality. During a particularly bad period for a little over a year there was a time where I distinctly felt like a different person and did things I wouldn’t normally do, and I remember the specific moment where I came back into my body and became “me” again. This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened more than once throughout my life. When I see people talk about plurality I feel a little confused because their identities often seem to have their own names and genders and ages and backstories, and it seems so cut-and-dry.

I know these are all things to discuss with my therapist but I love how you talk about your own experiences. How can you differentiate between DID and other kinds of dissociation?

Thank you for asking, anon! I'm glad you are going to talk to your therapist about it while also doing the reading and reaching out-- heaven knows our own journey within the US mental healthcare system was rocky at best. The latest chapter of Madison/Belladonna is heavily sourced from IRL circumstances both in receiving the diagnosis and the decades long journey in the mental healthcare system to get there.

But to answer more directly-- (as always we are answering from a psychopathology lens for care and treatment, we recognize the beauty of plurality and do not reduce ALL experiences to mental healthcare concerns, we are approaching our own situation and experiences this way as it is how we lived it)

Our journey was guided from the outside. Both therapists and our partner who was able to see these "mood swings" in us were able to gently guide us to water despite our fierce denial and rejection of our situation. What started as "we're fine" turned to "mood swings" turned to "BPD" turned to "---maybe we should read up on OSDD?" Turned to our current therapist telling us over a year ago that we had DID after months of testing and interviewing to determine.

I should also note I likely realized it MULTIPLE times in my history and buried it again and again. I legitimately think that people in my former life knew and either assumed I knew too or worse I had told them and forgot that I told them. It worries me because I cannot ever be certain. I once asked my ex-wife about it after the divorce/diagnosis and she did say it was weird how she had a "different husband" depending on environment and social group. She said she never noticed it during the interactions, but she would always think back and feel that the "me" in any given moment was different from the ones she observed in social/work situations etc.

So like--- even if people notice, sometimes they don't even realize what they're seeing. Honestly I go full No Mask at work even when a male part fronts and no one really bats an eye. I don't think *most* people are as observant as we worry they are.

ANYWAY! Looking back these are the signs that I ignored:

- I not just wrote a consistent journal through every phase of my life (even going as far as to have a "memory list" that I populated "when I felt like it" (<- IE: when a part that associated with the memory was fronting and wanted to type about it) and more importantly I READ it. Often. I sometimes think that the majority of our memories are just imagined versions of what we wrote. That notion is helped by the fact we [used to] stop journaling during times of crisis or delete journal/chat log to prevent us thinking about distressing things.

- I wrote a lot of plural characters in my stories since my teenage years. Kinda like I kept writing female versions of myself? Funny how the Trans and DID acceptance arcs are so dang similar.

- I would emotionally cave in on myself after gatherings, berating myself for how I had acted all evening. Getting deeply upset at how "out of control" I was. We outright AVOID mood altering substances like alcohol or weed.

- When talking about traumatic memories we typically just tell the story rote. It doesn't bother us. We told therapists without batting an eyelid. This is dissociation. We were disconnecting ourselves from our memories. Emotionally distancing ourselves from the experiences.

- In the same vein, when we remember things we imagine things in locations like a 3rd person camera. Not populated. We don't hear or feel or associate. It's just a place and a knowledge. Our whole "context packet" thing where we just understand something without *feeling* it.

- Deleted emails and chatlogs, references to things we don't remember. Discord messages with people we don't remember talking to. It bothers me how many people in our online communities we were actually close to at some stage of our life and then erased. This is specific to us but Dawn has opened many accounts in the hypnokink community and Camden has shut them down and this has happened so many times that we don't even get upset when we find a buried email from 2013 with sign-up to a Yahoo Email account we don't remember having. That sounds dramatic. It's more just. Go into your emails, pull stuff up from 5-10 years ago and just scroll a while. See how much you remember and associate into. It's NORMAL to forget what websites you were browsing a decade ago. It's not normal to have an entire *LIFE* you hid from yourself.

- Sometimes people just... saw/knew us before we did and there were times when they would describe a version of us they weren't supposed to see and we got complete dysphoria over it. Sometimes it as joyful. Someone we love saw Cammie well enough to say when we transitioned that they wanted to see that "windswept girl with the big smile" all of the time. Sometimes it's mortifying, like when someone approaches Camden as if she is Dawn and Camden REJECTED that side of us so heavily that it caused emotional meltdowns and turmoil because Camden didn't WANT to be a sexy confident domme, she could barely see herself as a woman, when people saw the wrong version of us *without permission* it was just a violation that made things WORSE.

- On that note-- meltdowns-- we mentioned the whole "after a social gathering we'd emotionally cave in on ourselves" thing, there was a lot of that. After work we'd get a complete drop from having to be in Manager Mode all day or we'd have a crisis after erotic intimacy encounters because we're sex repulsed ace. The fact is our nervous system was activated during those times, our survival instincts were kicked in and brought the part associated to the surface to DEAL and when they backed off our body was still reacting to the trauma trigger and it would cause us to implode.

All of these things in therapy brought us to the conclusion of BPD. Because therapists be like that at times. A *TRAUMA* therapist gave us some DES-II, MID and ACE tests and worked out what was going on within 3 months.

It took a further 6-9 months with constant support from loved ones who were able to see us as individuals to *ACCEPT* it. This is a denial disorder, it doesn't want to be found. Asking questions, being honest and being accepting is the best way to come to terms with it. I wish it were easier and I wish you luck and support in your journey. Our inbox is always open!

You're not alone <3

[azures-bazar]

What a Party 

A happy (and long) one shot ! .... based on real events lol

I needed to write some happy stuff, especially considering the overall mess happening in France right now (you know, riots, overall strikes, arrogant politicians voicing their hate on common folk...) :')

I tried my best to make it short, but there were too many things to be said ! There's a part filled with some "I love you" quotes. Please excuse my mistakes, you already know about my very peculiar writing schedule... and my weird English, lol

Arthur Morgan x GenderNeutralReader 

Word count : 3.5k

Short summary : Let’s be honest : you’re drunk. And Arthur, being a little less drunk than you during Sean’s return party, really hopes he can tell you how much he loves you tonight. 

A/Note : Arthur’s tent has got some flaps !

Tags : chapter 2, soft, alcohol, you’re drunk, Arthur’s drunk, Sean’s return party, Arthur loves you, the ground is moving, soft, nausea, cigarette, drunk behaviour, Hosea being a dad, ring dang doo

"Got a hole in the middle, and it's split in two !"

You kept singing along with the rest of the gang, holding your whiskey bottle in your right hand and a cigarette in the other. You could not recall how many bottles you already had the opportunity to gulp down, being dragged by Sean into a drinking contest. You knew about your upcoming fate, so did he. You were supposed to be on guard duty by sunrise, which was going to be complicated considering the amount of alcohol your body had to evacuate overnight. 

"And that's what ya call the ring dang doo !"

You could easily recall that the gang was not often in such a great mood. You had been a member of the Van Der Linde gang for about a decade, having been around since your mid-teens after Dutch and Hosea had found you struggling with the law following a fight you had with another kid, who happened to be a sheriff’s son. Hosea had used his scamming skills to pretend you were his child and that he had been looking around the area after you ran away following a minor dispute. The sheriff believed that story well enough, and this event marked your official induction into the gang. 

In ten years, you had seen the gang’s ups and downs. You had witnessed Arthur grieving his son, Bessie Matthews’ passing, the arrival and death of new members, the birth of the very first gang’s child, John’s departure and return a little less than a year later… and you took part to the Blackwater incident. Arthur had begged Dutch not to let you participate to it, wanting to take your place instead, believing things were not going to go according to his plan. Indeed, Morgan was right, and you left Blackwater with numerous wounds on your arms and a rather tiny hole on your calf after being shot multiple times. 

You and Arthur were close, very close. Ever since a few months, to say the least. Anyone could easily tell he had a soft spot for you prior the Blackwater ferry heist, even you could notice how different he was when you were around. Arthur was good at hiding his feelings behind a rather stern and grumpy face, often looking away whenever your eyes would meet his, turning shades darker each time he would be greeted with a smile. Neither you nor him had ever made a first move towards the other, which was frustrating to the eyes of the girls who openly voiced their discontent. 

"These two are made for each other and won’t even talk !" Karen often sighed 

"Isn’t that romantic ? Two souls, so in love… yet unable to communicate !" Mary-Beth would smile

"It ain’t romantic, it’s stupid."

And despite not openly voicing your feelings, Arthur was very good at making you feel adored. Your tent was right next to his, he would often bring you some coffee in the morning, share a meal with you, discuss about arts, landscapes and plants before moving forward. Such a brawny and menacing-looking man talking about the beauty of some flowers never ceased to surprise you ! As Hosea would often say : Arthur was not as dumb as he looked, hiding a high intelligence, often being taken for an idiot by many people. His low self-esteem was the main reason why he never openly showed how smart he was, and how much he cared about you. He was too shy and not confident enough to move forwards, but could easily talk about everything he liked with you without having the feeling of being looked down as a random intimidating outlaw with no brains.

He had awkwardly brought you a bouquet one day after collecting a few flowers nearby, hiding it behind his back while his face was as red as a tomato, stuttering a few words you could barely understand due to his heavy Southern accent and low voice. After he gave you that bouquet, Arthur proceeded retrieving to his tent and hide his red face behind his hands while you kept his gift in a vase near your cot, humming the scent of these flowers for days while the girls had clapped his move. 

"One big step forward !" Tilly had exclaimed 

That night, everything was possible, every door was opened for you to make a first move towards Arthur. You were drunk, laughing, dancing, displaying a rather eccentric side to the rest of the gang which had undoubtedly caught Morgan’s eye as he had stopped drinking his beer while sitting at the table with Bill and John to look at you. He watched Uncle wrap his arm around your shoulders as you sang with him louder and louder, believing you would loose your voice at some point. But you kept singing, not even bothering about what was going on around you, enjoying the moment as you somewhat believed it would not last long enough. 

Hosea had tried dissuading you from drinking so much, using his fatherly tone to refrain you… but you did not care about his warnings. You were aware of the consequences of your sudden desire to drink this much, knowing about your upcoming state early in the morning when you would have to patrol around the hideout with your riffle while enduring a rather heavy headache and an endless nausea. It was not your first time being drunk and certainly not be the last. Sean was back ! How many drinking contests you were about to have together ! Hosea was already excepting the worst to happen to you, knowing that being drunk was quick to make you unleash your child-self, and nobody wanted to have two children doing a drinking contest. 

"Easy, Y/N !" he sighed, looking at you gulping down your whiskey. "Leave some for the rest of us !"

"Don't worry, old man !" you smiled.

Dutch had switched his gramophone on, you spotted him dancing with Molly while Arthur danced with Mary-Beth, chuckling a little, glancing at you whenever he had the chance. He could easily tell that making you stand up would not be an excellent idea, watching you gulp down another beer after cheering with Karen who sang on Sean’s lap. Arthur’s vision was getting a little blurry with time, he also had drank too much. A little less than you did, but enough for him to have some serious issues walking straight from a tent to another. Mary-Beth left him to get a drink with Tilly, Arthur approached you and smiled. 

"Ain’t that a nice nighty night !" he exclaimed, placing his large hands on your shoulders 

"Damn, Morgan’s already drunk !" Uncle exclaimed 

"Nah, I ain’t drunk !"

"Yes you are !" 

"I ain’t drunk, you old fool !" 

Your vision was so blurry, you would loose balance even while sitting down ! Your hand instinctively reached his, causing Karen to clap her hands and Pearson to smile. Neither you nor Arthur would have done something like this being sober ! 

"Alright, maybe a lil’ tipsy." Arthur laughed

"Good lord..." Hosea sighed, leaving his seat

On occasions, you would only touch each other when you were stitching up your wounds. One day, your hand had accidentally brushed Arthur’s, which caused him to awkwardly smile and stay petrified for a minute before hiding in his tent. He had wrote a three pages long journal entry, expressing how sweet the tip of your fingers felt on his skin, how unexpected it was, and how much he would have wanted to catch your hand at that time, but was too shy to try it. A third of Arthur’s journal was filled with entries about you… and you would probably never get to read them as he always kept his sketchbook to close. 

"Well, ain’t that a great move !" Karen exclaimed 

"We’re literally doing nothin’." Arthur grumbled while unconsciously massaging your shoulders as you let out a loud moan escape your lips

"No, you really ain’t !" John shouted from the poker table

"We ain’t doing nothin’ !" you answered. "We ain’t !… Keep goin’, Arthur…" 

"Sure thing, Y/N."

The sound of Javier’s guitar mixed with Dutch’s gramophone and the gang singing old ballads created a very peculiar symphony you enjoyed, singing to yourself while looking up and down, still holding onto Arthur’s hand. You could hear him sing above your head, mumbling a few words whenever the lyrics were unknown to him. You laughed so often, nearly crying at Sean’s jokes, unable to keep breathing at times. This moment was a fine one, especially knowing that Arthur was standing behind you. 

At some point, Morgan helped you up to make you walk a little around camp, feeling the need to take you away from the others. Despite being drunk himself, Arthur still appeared to be self-conscious and was aware of the surroundings, knowing that not everyone was going to celebrate Sean’s return, that some of you were on guard duty and others, like little Jack and Abigail, for instance, were already asleep. While you were singing and, unfortunately, ended up throwing up a few feet away from Kieran’s sleeping spot, Arthur would be looking around, gently patting your back. The worst was probably the fact that you regretted nothing. 

"You’re alright there ?" he chuckled 

"Nah, I ain’t alright !" 

"You’ll be alright, then !" 

You sighed at Arthur’s sarcastic answer. It took you a few seconds to calm yourself down and stand up again, Arthur firmly held you by the shoulders in order to keep you on your feet. Your balance was weak, and Morgan’s one was certainly not any better as you would zigzag while making your way back to camp after straying away. Your common drunkenness did not make you notice that Dutch was supervising the two of you from his tent and had dragged Hosea into this rather peculiar activity. They kept judging Arthur’s overall behaviour, finding it a little too childish, especially knowing who Arthur was and what his tasks usually were. Collecting debts, robbing shops and banks, sometimes beating people up… the list was longer than that, indeed.

"Remind me how old Arthur is, Hosea…" Dutch muttered, smoking his cigar 

"Thirty-six." Hosea sighed. "Our boy’s thirty-six." 

They watched you making your way back to the poker table to join John and Bill who were probably as drunk as you were. You could not sit down, clinging onto Arthur’s shirt as he calmly tried pushing you to one of the barrels for you to rest your legs a little. Morgan’s vision was a little less blurry than yours, and your wellbeing had to be put before his. He was aware of how drunk the two of you were and was not going to miss the opportunity to openly show his love to you ! 

"Nah, can’t sit down !" you said, looking at the ground who was literally moving like a river. "The ground’s movin’ !" 

"The ground’s movin’ ?" Arthur chuckled, suddenly looking down. "Holly shit, John, Bill !" 

"What ?" John wheezed, tilting his head

"You ain’t gonna believe it, but the ground’s movin’ !" 

"Movin’ ?" Bill’s eyes widened. "You sure ?"

While looking down, Bill fell from his seat and bursted out laughing, unable to get up anymore. Hosea grumbled as Arthur grabbed you by the waist in order to lead you to the domino table for you to get some quiet… but your destination was quite unsure. The two of you kept tripping, you laughed loudly enough. Wild animals were probably running away from your location at the moment. As you passed by Jack and Abigail’s tent, Arthur grabbed your arm and rubbed it, chuckling like a mischievous child, placing his finger before his smiling mouth. 

"Shhhhhhh !" 

"Aye ! Shhhhhhh !" you responded, mimicking him 

Arthur grabbed your hand as you tiptoed towards the back of Pearson’s wagon, grabbing a beer and drinking it together before leading you to the domino table on which you decided to sit, kicking your legs back and forth. Arthur moved a little forward, placing his hands on your thighs. Despite your blurry vision, you could easily tell Arthur was giving you his absolutely adorable puppy look, along with a charming smile. He was certainly about to ask you something… or was going to faint due to his overall state of drunkenness.  His face said it all. 

"Hey, Y/N." he sheepishly said

"Yeah ?" 

"Can… can I steal a kiss...?" 

"Been waiting for that for so long ! Sure you c…-" 

You had no time to finish your sentence, Arthur bent and dropped a sweet but quick kiss on your lips, stepping back a little. He had done it ! He had finally moved forward and kissed you ! What an exploit for such a shy and not confident man ! Arthur felt butterflies flying in his belly, he was turning shades darker just by looking at you. You were so amazing, so gorgeous, so sweet ! He wanted to cup your adorable face in his hands and cover it with kisses, but his rational side was still in control and forbid him making another step forward. 

"Wait." you whimpered, somewhat unhappy about such a short kiss

You did not allow him to step further away, forcing him to bend one more time by holding him by the collar. You were seeing him twice, unable to understand where you had to look in order to return his kiss. Your heart was melting, and in no way could you just stay here doing nothing ! You had waited for so long for Arthur to make such a huge step forward and, despite the condition you both were in, drunk but somewhat conscious about your actions, you were not able to let go of him. You did, however, notice that Sean and Karen were standing somewhere near you. 

"I love you…" Arthur desperately mumbled, feeling a sudden freedom invade him. "I love you ! I love you !"

"So do I, Arthur…! I love you too ! So much, so bloody much !" 

"I love you ! I love you ! And I’ll repeat it ’til the end ‘cause tomorrow I’ll be shy again ! I love you !" 

"Oh my god, this is happening !" Tilly cheered. "Mary-Beth ! Mary-Beth ! They’re saying they love each other !" 

"No way !" Mary-Beth answered, clapping her hands 

At this moment, what was surrounding the two of you did not matter anymore. You had completely forgotten about the fact that you were being watched and closed your eyes. Arthur moved forwards, leading you to an incredibly passionate kiss you wanted to be endless. You were perfectly conscious about what you were doing, and were proud. Happy, and proud. You could feel Arthur’s hands move behind your back, your legs spread wide for his body to touch yours. Even Sean had stopped courting Karen for a moment to witness such a peculiar event ! You and Arthur were kissing each other !

Your bodies fused into one being, one entity. So warm, so beautiful, so sweet… something good could come out of the two of you, something amazing. Mary-Beth was right, the two of you were soulmates. You deserved each other. Your kiss was so intense, so exciting that you almost forgot about all these people watching you. Things escalated quickly as Arthur pushed you on the table to lean above you, causing Hosea to run towards your direction and separate the two of you before Arthur or yourself would start stripping down due to the overall excitement this single kiss had triggered. 

"Easy there, fellers !" Hosea said, helping you standing up. "Do I need to remind you where you are ?" 

"No." Arthur shook his head, holding himself onto the table. "Sorry, ‘Sea." 

"You two should get some sleep. It’s getting late and Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning." 

"Can I sleep with Arthur then ?" you asked with a rather childish tone 

"What ?"

Arthur turned his head to you with a large smile while Hosea remained a little surprised at your sudden request. Being drunk made you loose your actual adult filter, words escaped your mouth without you being able to control them. Indeed, you never needed anyone’s approval, especially not for something as casual as sleeping in someone’s tent ! You had done this a numerous amount of times with John without even asking Dutch, but felt the need to inform Hosea about your current desire not to finish this night alone. 

"Sorry, Y/N." Hosea chuckled, gently patting your shoulder. "Why do you ask ? You’re a grown adult, you don’t need my approval for that." 

"Let’s take it as a yes, then." Arthur smiled. "I’ll go get the bed ready !"

"It ain’t wise. Really ain’t." 

Noticing the three of you talking, Dutch came closer to you to cut out a potential argument. Hosea was shaking his head, not wanting the two of you to sleep in the same tent because of the overall noise you would potentially cause. Hosea had always been quite protective towards you, being genuinely attached to your overall personality and sweet behaviour which often led him to feel the need to watch over you, especially when things were not going well… or when you were drunk. 

"Dutch !" Arthur said with the exact same childish tone you used. "Can Y/N sleep in my tent ? Hosea says it ain’t wise." 

"Why the hell are you asking that ?" Dutch laughed, not hiding his surprise. "Of course they can !"

"Dutch, I don’t think that’s reasonable…" Hosea sighed, covering his face with his palm. "Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning. They’re drunk and might end up throwing up on each other all night long." 

"Let those kids be, Old Girl." 

Hosea rolled eyes and sighed. Leaving two drunk fools sleep in the same tent that night was probably not wise, but what could he say ? Arthur held your hand and led you to his tent, carefully closing its flaps after placing a few empty buckets underneath his bed in case of an emergency. Arthur took off your boots and suspenders, proceeding to do the same before laying down with you. there was no much space for the two of you to properly fit in, so Arthur held you close to him while you buried your head into the crook of his neck. His breath was calming, especially considering the fact that Karen and Sean were actually having fun in John’s tent at the moment. What a party ! 

Surprisingly enough, your night was rather quiet. You woke up with a heavy headache, calmly looking down at Arthur who was sleeping like a log. However, as soon as sensed you were no longer in bed with him, he whined and stretched a little, opening his eyes to look at you. His eyelids were heavy enough for him to grumble as he could see you struggle putting on boots on, blinded by the only ray of sunlight which passed between the tent’s flaps. Arthur rolled over a little on his cot and reached out to your hand, leading you to blush and sit near him. 

"‘Bout yesterday…" you sheepishly mumbled. "I… well I…" 

"I love you, Y/N… I didn’t forget anythin’… I didn’t… and I still love you…" 

"I love you too. Now, get back to sleep."

You were so thankful to be able to remember what had happened last night ! Arthur smiled a little, your free hand caressed his cheek. You dropped a soft kiss on his forehead as soon as you noticed he was drifting back into sleep. You wanted to join him, burry yourself into his embrace, roll into his blanket and remain with him all day long ! You analysed Arthur’s chiseled cheekbones, his sleepy smile, his little scars, his beard. You envied his eyelashes, so long and furnished. His beautiful green orbs were moving underneath his eyelids, he was already dreaming ! 

"Y/N !" Javier shouted from the outside. "We’re on guard duty, come on !"

You sighed, dropping another kiss on Arthur’s forehead while replacing the blanket above his shoulders, looking at him nuzzling his head against his pillow while whining a little. How sweet he was, how angelic he looked ! You left his tent and headed to the entrance of Horseshoe Overlook, rubbing your head a numerous amount of times, struggling not to fall asleep for hours until Sean came to replace you, instructing you to drink some whiskey to calm your heavy migraine. You and Arthur often met while taking care of camp chores, smiling at each other despite your overall pain. Both of you had strong headaches almost incapacitating you, but you kept moving. What a night you had ! When the sun went down, instead of heading inside your tent, Arthur dragged you to his one again… and you could not say no. 

It had taken him a few drinks to finally move forwards and tell you how much he loved you. He was not going to let go, and neither would you. What a party you had ! Your feelings were blooming, burning you from in inside, despite your increasing exhaustion. You nuzzled against Arthur’s chest after the sun went down, recalling the events of the other night with a large smile. These numerous drinks had helped you moving forward, you would not be resting into his embrace otherwise. 

Oh, what a party it was, indeed.

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

"Down By The River" - Neil Young & The International Harvesters, Pier 84, New York City, September 10, 1985

As I'm sure you've heard, Neil Young will release the third volume of his Archives project in just over a month. Weighing in at 17 discs (plus five blu-rays), it's a ridiculously large collection, with dozens of unreleased tracks. I've heard the whole dang thing via a promo stream and Vol. III will make Neil fanatics very very happy. And yet! It wouldn't be a Neil Young situation if there weren't some very questionable choices made ... As always, I've got quibbles! Quibbles, I say!

For one thing, the International Harvesters era ... Most of what shows up on Vol. III has already been released on A Treasure, well over a decade ago. The additions are great — a gorgeous live version of "Interstate" with a fiery electric solo from Neil and a sweet rendition of "Misfits." But Neil should've added this legendary "Down By The River" to the mix (in fact, he seemed to be considering it). It's a truly insane performance, with Old Black moving unexpectedly into almost Sonic Youth-y zones during the long instrumental sections. Neil duels magnificently with Nashville session pianist Hargus "Pig" Robbins (who you know from classic recordings with Dylan, Lightfoot, Parton and countless others), taking things to unreal heights. Over the rainbow, indeed.

And hey, one good "Down By The River" from the 1980s deserves another, right? Here's Neil and the International Harvesters doing it about a year before Pier 84 down in New Orleans — notable not only for its awesomeness, but also for its rare spoken intro, wherein Neil evocatively sets the scene:

I'd like to sing you a song about a guy who had a lot of trouble controlling himself. He let the dark side come through a little too bright. One afternoon he took a little stroll down through a field and through a forest, till he could hear the water runnin' along there. And he met his woman down there. And he told her she'd been cheatin' on him one time too many. And he reached down in his pocket and he pulled a little revolver out. Said "Honey, I hate to do this but you pushed me too far."

By the time he got back to town he knew he had to answer to somebody pretty quick. He went back to his house, he sat down on the front porch. About two hours later the sheriff's car pulled up out front. It started sinking in on him just what he'd done. The sheriff walked up the sidewalk. He said "Come with me son, I want to ask you a few questions." As he heard the jail door shut behind him he sat down on a little wooden bench — and he looked out of the door through those bars at this kind of wimpy looking sheriff out there. He started getting mad again and he realized what he'd done. There wasn't nothing he could do about it now though. He just sat down and put his head down and started thinking to himself — I'm all by myself here, there's nobody on my side...

Because I care deeply about you, there's another little bonus in the above download, too — a very early "Razor Love," also recorded live with the International Harvesters in 1984. Just wait 'til you hear the synth-pop version included on Vol. III!

[gisellelx]

Twilight Advent Calendar, Day 7

Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

Masterpost/Prompts

I'm still fighting with this dang thing and have been for about a year. I was hoping to get it all the way unraveled with the help of a deadline but I did not. So here's a teaser of the surface of this fight. They are fighting about something that's actually two layers deeper than this, but it's going to take me a hot second to link this all up, apparently. ---

from "Yellows," Chapter 9 of Cien Años de Compañerismo

~||x||~

They hadn’t talked about this. They hadn’t needed to; vampires couldn’t reproduce sexually. She knew where he stood with respect to the legality of a medical procedure that he considered vital to his ability to care for his patients; he knew—and she thought, respected!—that he could never fathom what it was like to carry a pregnancy. But suddenly here they were, diametrically opposed.

Edward. It had only taken his conversation with Edward, and then they had been thrust into this nightmare. Always Edward. His weakest point; his fatal flaw. If Carlisle made a mistake, it was always for Edward. His rashest decisions—always with Edward in mind.

Except for you, her mind replied at once, and it was this reminder that softened her long enough to really look at him.

Her husband looked—anguished. If it were possible for him to somehow be paler, gaunter than he already was, he was that and then some. The light in his eyes that she loved, the playful side of him that he so rarely showed anyone but her, was utterly extinguished.

His eyes, darker than she’d seen them in a long while, cast around the nursery anxiously. He didn’t fully see it the first time, she knew. He took in the crib, the changing table, the diaper stacker, the blankets and rattles, the delicate lace and ornate woodwork mixed with the practicalities of size zero diapers and nipple pads and spit-up rags.

“You’ve done…a great deal,” he said finally.

No thanks to your overwhelming support, she wanted to say, but she did not. It was enough, she knew, to stand here, staring at him. Not comforting him, not taking him into her arms, not doing any of the things he’d come to rely on from her. She didn’t need to be cold to him; she needed only not to be warm.

“Well someone needed to do something.”

His brow furrowed. “Esme, I am doing everything.”

“You“—she choked. He was trying to figure it out, still. Still. Trying to get their daughter-in-law to see reason. Trying to make all this work, this room, this hope, utterly unnecessary. “Carlisle Cullen, you are still trying to end this.”

“I can’t end this!!!” he roared so loudly the window rattled a little, startling them both. The dark eyes went wide, and then her husband’s face disappeared into his palms. He had large hands, Carlisle, and he could bury all his features into them, leaving Esme staring at only the roots of his uncharacteristically untidy hair.

“Even if I wanted to, even if she wanted me to I couldn’t,” came the plaintive voice a moment later. “It—he—that—is growing too quickly. She’s so emaciated I can’t be certain but she measured at about twenty-six weeks this morning and twenty-eight this afternoon. Even if we were all agreed on what to do, even if I had decades of experience with this procedure—which I do not, may I remind you, try as you might to build me up as a monster in your head—I’d just as likely kill her anyway. There’s no target. I don’t know what I’m dealing with. I’m blind. And you…” he gulped. “You’re angry with me for what you think I’m doing but Esme, I can’t do anything at all.”

The repeated words rode on a quavering intake of breath as he locked her eyes: “I can’t do anything at all.”

She meant to take a step toward him, she thought, but her feet took her one step further away.

[cosmos-coma]

Blood and Vengeance - Part 1

A/N: I've had this story saved in my drafts for a while now and i think about it every dang day so here it is! Finally!

Pairing: Dettlaff x Reader

Words: 1332

Summary: You answer an ad for a housekeeping job at the estate of the two new mysterious visitors in town, despite strange rumors circulating around town you know the pay makes it well worth it. However, when you arrive it seems to be part housekeeping and part "nanny" as you're tasked with getting the dark-brooding Dettlaff used to humans. surely this will go smoothly, right?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7| Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 (Final)

__________________

Your town had always been a sleepy place as far as you could remember. Small markets, rarely any visitors, and relatively little commotion as far as you were concerned; but maybe that's what attracted the two mysterious men to your tiny town. 

Word of their arrival spread quickly and quietly through the streets of the town, warping the way all rumors do. Some said they just seemed like two standard rich men. One was pleasant, always carrying a bag of herbs and odd-smelling concoctions, and the other didn’t seem to like anyone and was strangely intense for such a quiet man. However, in no time those rumors faded out, instead replaced by speculation of criminal pasts, and fake identities- some even went so far as to swear they had seen them turn into bats when the veil of night fell.

Either direction the rumors went you found yourself growing more and more curious the longer you stared at the posted ad on the noticeboard. 

It said they were looking for a few workers; mostly gardeners and people to help renovate- neither of which you knew how to do well enough, but you did think you could settle into the housekeeping role well. It looked like it paid nicely and you’d get to have a room at the manor as well. It was bound to be long hours and being on call at a moment's notice, but soon enough you should be able to save up a small fortune and live your life quietly on your own time. 

You nodded, determined in your decision, and went straight there to apply, despite the way your nerves grew with each step. 

As you walked up to the estate It’s multiple levels loomed over you and blocked out the low-hanging sun. You pushed open the iron-wrought gate which creaked with age as you closed it behind you and walked through the freshly tilled gardens. The home had been worn by decades of neglect and paint flecked off in patches here and there revealing an older color underneath. 

“I guess they must’ve already found gardeners” you commented as you made your way up to the door. A deep breath steadied your nerves long enough to lift the heavy door knocker, clacking it against the old wood twice. 

It was quiet for a short while before the sound of footsteps suddenly came from behind the door as it was pulled open with ease by an older-looking gentleman. His hair and sideburns were a sooty gray and his eyes held bags beneath them that betrayed the exhaustion his pleasant smile tried to hide. “Ah, you must be here to apply for one of the posted jobs?” He held his hand out for you to shake. “Emiel Regis, it’s a pleasure.” 

You put on your best smile, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself, “Yes, um- I was hoping the housekeeping position was still open..?”

An amusing thought seemed to cross him as he glanced you over once more, barely noticeable if you weren’t watching. He nodded and ushered you in right away, into the darkened entryway. “Of course. Come in, come in- I might as well show you around if you're going to be working here,” he said, leading the way.

Two large staircases curved their way out and upward and met at the next level. Rugs lined each step and the hallway before you, worn to a small degree but mostly dulled with dirt, dust, and age. The wood lining the walls could use a layer of polish, but you were surprised to see what decent shape the interior was in. 

Mostly the interior just showed aging, from the dimmed dirty windows to the cobwebs in the corners. “You’ll have to pardon the mess while we get everything put back to its former glory. The house Is big, but please don’t let it become daunting to you. I-” He paused his steps and his words to listen to the quiet house for a moment before he continued. 

“Well if I have to be frank. This job is in part a regular housekeeping job, I assure you. But it is also because I would like to have someone to keep an eye on my dear friend Dettlaff.” He said, glancing back at you before he continued giving you a tour of the house. “I-I promise it’s nothing strange. Ah- but that probably only made it sound stranger, didn’t it?” 

“Very much so..” you replied, laughing lightly, but still holding your satchel close as you went from room to room. A few of the rooms were more finished than the others- the bedrooms and the kitchens for example- others seemed to be more of storage for extra materials. 

“I apologize… I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable. It’s just- Well, how do I put this… Dettlaff is not good with people. At all.” Regis huffed in mild annoyance. Because Dettlaff was such a good friend, Regis could only acknowledge his shortcomings for what they were. Dangerous liabilities. “He feels far too much, but I think small introductions could be good for him; someone who can pepper him with how people work socially” He further explained, waving a hand of his with nails that were just a bit longer than normal. 

This was all starting to get a little bit weird… but you still couldn't deny this kind of pay, plus room and board. “So you want me to be a sort of… glorified nanny for your friend?” You asked, increasing your pace to step side by side with the older man.

“Well, when you put it like that…” he began to mumble, but you quickly interjected. 

“I’ll do it. When can I start?” you stepped in front of him and held out your hand to shake on it, causing the older man to stop short and raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“My, my… you certainly seem like a rather tenacious creature, don’t you? Though I think that could prove you well in dealing with him…” He smiled that friendly smile again and shook your hand. “If you’re up to it you can start tomorrow. I’ll create a list of daily duties and It’ll be waiting for you in the room we’ve set aside for you. We can discuss your pay after your first day, does that arrangement work for you miss Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with nothing but an earnest expression and kind eyes. 

You smiled as you nodded, hefting your bag further up on your shoulder as you were led back to the front door and seen off by the older man. 

You were quiet on your walk home, quickly scampering through the streets before the sun fully fell and the more malicious folks came out for the evening. As soon as the door clicked closed you shouted in excitement and did a little dance. You weren’t even a hundred percent sure where all the confidence had come from, but you didn’t care! A huge grin spread across your face as you breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Oh, shit, I’ve got to get packing…” you thought aloud as you sprung yourself up and began pulling things together. For once you were thankful that you had only been renting in this little town. It felt like ages ago that you had walked away from your childhood home to try and make a life for yourself and for once it seemed to actually be working out. You didn’t have too much to pack up, mostly books, clothes, and a few little knickknacks you had picked up over the years, but each one held a small special place with you. 

A small smile painted on your expression as you put the last of your things away in a bag and gave the old place one last look around. 

Tomorrow would change the trajectory of the rest of your life for you, you could feel it. And you had never been more ready. 

_______________

Taglist: @writingmysanity @open--till--midnight (thought you might like to be tagged in this!)

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[tohisprettyc00l]

That doesn't matter, silly! Collector comforting reader

A/n: This was requested on wattpad but I can't find the request anymore also

Collector is still trapped in the wall mirror thingy still.

Tears pooled in your eyes as you stared at the paper. 18/26, mostly right, but that doesn't matter, it's still not passing. Your grip tightened on the test, crumpling the sides. You tried your best, you studied as much as you could, yet it wasn't enough. With slightly trembling hands you neatly folded the paper and put it in your pocket. Soon your teacher dismissed everyone. You slowly got out of your seat and walked to the door.

You decided to go to your best friend,The Collector, they always know how to cheer you up. You soon arrived at the entrance to where The Collector resided. Or I guess he was more trapped there, but still. As soon as you opened the door a figure appeared beside you. "Y/N! You're back from school!" The Collector happily exclaimed, "Why do you still go there? It's like the most boring place everrr." "I kinda have to." You replied. "So what do you wanna do today?" "Is it okay if we just talk today? I've had a long day." "Oh, sure." He said concerned. You walk to a wall and sit down.

"So what cha' what to talk about?" They asked. You thought for a second, "What's going on with you body?" "Very specific." He teased, you rolled your eyes. "You asked what I wanted to talk about, this is what I want to talk about. Like do you have clothes on or is it just part of your body? Like is your hat now part of your head." He shrugged. "It's hard to tell, I can change the shape of my body and it feels the same, but at the same time I don't know how I would tell." "Fair enough." You said. "My turn!" The Collector suddenly said. "Hm?" " To ask a question!" He pause and put a hand on his chin, "Why are you sad?" He tilted his head. "What no- I'm not sad, just a little tired." "You can't lie to me. You can talk to me though." You turn away from them. They suddenly appear in front of you. "Y/n, you said you've had a 'long day'. What made it feel long? Or however you'd phrase that?"

You sighed and decided to answer, "A history test." You grumbled. Collector tilted their head at your answer. "A history test? What do you mean?" "A failed one. Like really badly." "Well I've been around for a good chunk of history let me see it!" You pulled out the test and showed to him. You looked away in shame when you heard laughing. A frown tugged your lips downwards. Of course they would laugh! They knew all of it by heart and you failed miserably.

"I don't mean to be rude, like at all. But is this really what you're upset about? Because if this is a joke it's a dang good one!" You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" "I think about all this stuff like once or twice a decade! It changed the Boiling Isle sure, but it's not really that important to know!" "But my history teacher says 'you need to know History to not repeat it.'" "Not to repeat being the first to start a coven that wasn't one of the main nine?" You look back at your paper, and yeah a good chunk of it was just small details to the main point. "Listen your feelings are valid and all, but trust me when I say this isn't that important." The collector said constantly moving around. "Yeah, that's true I'm just being stupid.," You said wiping away a tear with your sleeves

"Hey, Woah woah woah, hold on. You're not stupid for being sad. That's like one of the main emotions. Or something?" He paused, "I'm not great at comforting people but um, be sad if you need to, but also don't place your self-worth on a test." You chuckled. "'You're bad at comfort?' No kidding." You booped his nose, or more just touched the wall where his nose was, "But you are right. This isn't really important in the grand scheme of things." "Though, if you want me to, I can just give you the answers if you want me to." "If you mean in a study way then sure I guess." "Studying is so boring butttt if it's to help you, let's study."

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 Musings - Daniel & the Talamasca (SPOILERS)

I can see what the reviewers meant when they complained about the Talamasca & Daniel.

We start off with Daniel nervous AF, tryna keep tabs on all the mindscrewy shenanigans (at the sushi restaurant on his lunchbreak or whatever).

Today's... etcetc Cell phones, google -- Daniel, your handwriting effing sucks. San Francisco. Polynesian Mary's Playboy magazines as a doorstop? doorstep? |CLAUDIA| Mary's cab. Coke...etcetc. Alice. They'll come for me and Kate next--you bet your arse they will! XD THIS TIME I WON'T SAVE YOUR LIFE

He draws an arrow from Save Your Life up to Playboy--I assume cuz those are two incidents with Armand that took place in SanFran?

I really like the Omakase bit--

About how many risks Daniel's subjecting himself to under the whims of these vampires--but also about Daniel's hubris/arrogance breaking the rules of engagement by thinking he has any say over what they do and what he gets out of it, by stepping onto their turf. If you can't take the heat, GTFO their kitchen.

I'm only just now noticing the foreshadowed titles of Dan's books. 🤦 Burning & Blood--AMC swears they're hilarious.

OK, Raglan's been stalking Daniel's career just like Louis did. So my early suspicion about Daniel breaking the NDA was right.

Which is SO EFFING STUPID OF HIM. They're gonna find out! Loumand's literally drawing out this giant tragedy about what happens when vampires--Armand, specifically--are LIED to, and you're gonna pull this mess on them!? You're not even being SUBTLE!

AGREEMENT.pdf--Daniel, you in danger girl.

Raglan, stop tryna gas Dan up b4 they put him off commission permanently. He's no body-snatching psychic CROOK like you.

Get this nosey bish offa my dang screen.

Oof, right in the Devil's Minion feels. U_U

O__O WOAH!? OK, so aside from Dan (played by EB, a white Jew, along with JK) throwing shade at Caucasian European Israelis (which we been knew), he's implying that Armand & Louis might be persons of interest in the UAE by the Israeli gov't & assassins, esp. cuz of their ties to powerful people. But it's funny cuz that's the exact same thing Lou asked about him.

So Dan's telling the sushi patrons there's Israeli spies/assassins crawling around Dubai--STOP, b4 you get that place John Wick'd! XD

Not MI6. 😭 I said JOHN WICK, not JAMES BOND. XD

Raglan's gone full rogue then--if he was still working for the Talamasca he'd have darn near unlimited funds--they got that dirty TEMPLAR money. 💰💰💰

Yeah, and they don't actually call the Talamasca by name in the ep itself--only in the Insider interviews the producers give.

Daniel, why TF are you talking SO EFFING LOUD, when Raglan's whispering, tryna act like he's on the phone NOT talking to you in case y'all ARE being bugged. 🤦 SUBTLETY, my guy. What kinda investigative journalist are you?

I'm starting to suspect they're not gonna do the rockstar!Lestat, and instead this stupid Great Conversion's gonna be what wakes up Akasha/Amel, when their blood/consciousness gets stretched way too thin with all these new vamps being made.

To attempt an interview...? I believe that. We already know Marius & Lestat stalked Talamasca members for decades upon decades. Ain't no way NO vampire ever tried getting close to humans & talk about their lives to someone out of loneliness or something. Esp. the ones not attached to the European covens & all their stupid Great Laws.

Rest in Preternaturalism, Raymond Gallant.

BLENDERS! XD But this is THE most Anne Ricean answer imaginable, cuz everyone lost their ish when she had her vamps flying around with GPS-trackable cellphones in their pockets as they KILLED people. Rookie mistake. 😂

Armand was on a cellphone in S01E07, and he is LITERALLY married to his iPad, so PLEASE, sir. 🙄

There's Santiago's COMPLICIT speech coming back. Ain't no moral high-ground here!

And I figured Armand/AMC was gonna pin it on AMC!Lestat, and his jaded version the Savage Garden.

Armand says technology distracts humans from vampire crimes, but what's distracting vampires from psychic/Talamasca crimes, huh?

ISTG these are the laziest vamps I've ever seen; they care so much about their privacy & security, but aren't reading Dan's mind at all? I hope one of them just casually name-drops Raglan or catches Daniel in the act or something.

Raglan said Daniel's laptop was "comically vulnerable," and uploads a bunch of data files on it from the Bibliotheca Talamasca bestiary/archives--WHY? To help show Daniel he's helpful & trustworthy?

RJ: Omakase? Louis: The conversation was easy and flirtatious.... Armand: And combative. Louis: And combative, yes. Daniel: Arguing as foreplay. RJ: Peruse at your leisure.

I hate this effing show. 🙇🙇🙇

[darry-rules]

Abandoned by Dandy

You may have heard about the Dandy Corporation’s modern-day ghost towns. A company as large and as long-lasting as Dandy Co. is bound to make a few mistakes, and when they do, it’s often cheaper to just ignore them than to throw good money after bad.

One such misstep was the “Pirate’s Atoll” resort in the Caribbean. It didn’t start as a ghost town, of course. Cruise ships would drop hundreds of passengers off at the resort to relax in luxury. The resort had a tiki bar, a small collection of exotic animals, and daily live pirate shows. You can find these facts, and even a few photos, if you know where to look it up.

Dandy Co. blew over $30,000,000 on the project. That’s not a typo. Thirty million dollars. Then, without warning, they completely abandoned it.

Blame was placed on the cruise lines, which were contracted to provide a licensed Dandyland theme. Apparently, they tried to renegotiate fees in a predatory manner. They knew the resort would be useless without the ships, and that Dandy had a lot to lose. Local staff on the island were also blamed for showing up late and having a poor work ethic.

That’s where the truthful nature of the story ends. It wasn’t because of greedy cruise lines, and it most definitely wasn’t because “those dang foreigners are so lazy”. No, I very sincerely doubt that those excuses hold water.

Why? Because of Primeveire’s Palace.

Near the beach side city of Emerald Isle in North Carolina, Dandy began construction of “Primeveire’s Palace” in the late 1990s. Conceptually, it was going to be a lush, medieval forest. The aforementioned palace would sit at the center and house the guests.

If you’re unfamiliar with the titular character, you may remember the classic story, “The Noble And The Knave”. However, most people probably know her from the decades-old Dandy cartoon of the same name. Primeveire is a young lady from a royal family, exiled into the primitive wilderness by a cruel nobleman. There, she befriends various woodland creatures before being rescued by a reformed highwayman.

Primeveire’s Palace was a controversial undertaking from the very beginning. Dandy bought out a ton of high-priced land for the project, and scandal surrounded some of the purchases. The local government claimed “eminent domain” on people’s homes, then immediately sold them to Dandy Co. One home had just finished construction when it was immediately condemned with no real explanation.

The land that had been seized was supposedly intended for some sort of highway project. Knowing full well that this was a lie, people starting calling it “Lemming Lane”. A play on their mascot, Lucky Lemming, and the legend that the creatures took paths to their own demise.

Then, there was the concept art. A few stuffed shirt types from Dandy Co. held a city meeting.

They intended to convince everyone that this project was going to benefit them. It would increase tourism, bringing extra customers to local businesses. They revealed the concept art with a flourish and accompanying upbeat music, sure it would impress their audience. When people saw the garish, technicolor eyesore of a building, the surrounding tribal wilderness, and staff members dressed in “wild savage” loincloths and masks… suffice to say everyone flipped their shit.

We’re talking about a magical castle of sorts, an arcane forest, and half-naked servants. Not only would this be in the center of a relatively wealthy, historic area, but also one below the “Bible Belt”.

Magic, talking animals, and exposed skin were highly controversial at that point in time. One crowd members stormed the stage, in fact, managing to break a presentation board over his knee.

Dandy took the community and essentially broke it over their knee in response. Houses were razed to the ground. Land was cleared. There wasn’t a damned thing anyone could do or say about it. Local television stations and newspapers were against the building of the resort, at first. Then, some corporate connections between Dandy Co.’s media holdings and the local news venues came into play. Their opinions soon turned on a dime.

But I digress… Remember Pirate’s Atoll in the Caribbean? Dandy sunk all that money into it, then split at the first sign of trouble. The same thing happened with Primeveire’s Palace. Construction was completed, and visitors stayed at the resort with little to no problems. The smaller surrounding communities were flooded with traffic and the usual annoyances that came with an influx of lost and cranky travelers.

Then… it all just stopped. They shut it down and nobody knew what to think. Still, though the lack of answers was confusing, residents were pretty happy to hear the news. Dandy’s loss was hilarious and wonderful to a large group of people who didn’t want this in the first place.

Personally, I hadn’t given the place a second thought after hearing it had closed over a decade ago. I live about four hours from Emerald Isle, so I only managed to hear the rumors and rumblings. No first-hand information made it my way.

Then, I found an article from a blogger who had explored the Pirate’s Atoll resort. He posted detailed descriptions of the crazy shit he discovered there. Everything left behind was smashed, defaced, probably ruined by disgruntled former employees. Hell, maybe people came from miles around to wreck the place. They were probably just as angry about Pirate’s Atoll as folks here were about the palace.

There were even rumors that Dandy Co. had released their aquarium stock into the local waters when they closed down. This would’ve included a variety of dangerous, invasive species, including sharks. Who wouldn’t want to take a few swings at them after that?

The blog post about Pirate’s Atoll got me thinking. Even though many years had passed since it closed, I figured it might be interesting to do some urban exploration at Primeveire’s Palace. I could take some photos, write about my experience, and pretty much copy what this other blogger had done long before me. I might even be able to take something home as a memento.

I can’t say that I hurried there. It took me around a year after I first found that blog post. Over that time, I researched the the resort… or rather, I tried to. Naturally, no official Dandy-related website or resource made any mention of the location. They had all been scrubbed clean.

Stranger still, it seemed like no one other than myself had thought to talk about the place or even post vacation photos from there. None of the local news sites contained one word about the place, though that could be expected since they had all swung Dandy’s way. They wouldn’t be allowed bring attention to the embarrassment.

More recently, I learned that large corporations can actually ask search engines to remove search results. From what I’ve heard, they don’t even need to provide a good reason for the removal. Looking back on it, that’s probably what happened. It’s not that there were no posts about the resort, but that their words were simply made inaccessible.

So, naturally, I could barely find the place in the end. All I had to work with was an old-as-Hell map I received in the mail back in the ’90s. It was part of a promotional brochure that had been sent out to people who had recently been to Dandyland. My family had visited the park in the late ’80s, so we were on the list. I hadn’t intended to keep the brochure, but it got shoved into a box with my childhood comic books. I only remembered it existed a few months into my research, and then it took me a couple weeks to get around to visiting my parents and finding where it had all been stored.

After I found the map, I was sure the difficult part was over. However, on my way to the resort, I found that the locals weren’t going to be any help. Most were transplants who had moved to the beach in recent years. Others were old residents who sneered the second I spoke the word “Primeveire” or, worse yet, “Dandy”.

The drive took me through an inordinately long corridor of overgrowth. Exotic plants had run rampant and overpopulated the area, mixing with the native species that were desperately vying to reclaim the land. I was in awe when I finally reached the entrance to the main resort. The tremendous, monolithic wooden gates still stood, their supports cut from what seemed like giant sequoias. The otherwise majestic gate was gouged by woodpeckers, and the base was slowly being eaten away by burrowing insects.

Hanging at face-level was a sheet of metal. It was some random scrap, with a hand-painted message scrawled in black paint. “ABANDONED BY DANDY”. Clearly, this was the handiwork of some past local or employee who wanted to voice their own small protest.

The entrance was open wide enough to slip through, but not wide enough for a vehicle. So, grabbing my digital camera, a flashlight, and the brochure, I set off on foot. Flipping the paper over displayed a layout of the resort itself, though the landscape was a little less friendly.

The inner grounds were just as wild as the entryway. Fruit trees stood untended and ragged among piles of their own stinking, bug-riddled rot. There was a strange clash between order and chaos, as carefully planted rows of perennial flowers fought for space with tall weeds and stinking, blackened mushrooms.

All that remained of any smaller outdoor structures were piles of broken, charred debris.

Something that seemed to be an information booth was now a chopped-up heap of wood and splintered information boards. What vandals hadn’t ruined was ruined by inclement weather.

What struck me as bizarre, was a large statue of Princess Primeveire which stood prominently within a courtyard in front of the palace. She was frozen in a delicate wave toward no one, staring into empty space with a demure, slight smile as generations of bird shit covered her crown, hair, and dress. Ugly, thorny vines entangled her platform.

I approached the building. Any colors left were washed out, sun faded, and much of the plaster meant to simulate stonework had cracked from exposure. Where the paint hadn’t peeled or chipped away, there was copious amounts of graffiti.

The front doors weren’t just left open, they had been taken completely off of their hinges and were seemingly stolen. Above the gaping maw where the front doors had been, someone had once again painted the phrase, “ABANDONED BY DANDY”.

You’re probably waiting to hear about all the awesome stuff I saw inside the palace. Forgotten valuables, derelict cash registers, a full-fledged secret society of homeless cannibals… but no. The inside of the building was so stark, so bare, that I think people may have even stolen the moulding off of the walls. Anything that was too big to steal like counters, desks, and giant fake trees rested in an empty echo chamber. Every step I took was amplified like a slow rat-a-tat of a machine gun.

I checked the floor plan and headed to the specific locations that seemed interesting. The kitchen was as you’d imagine. It was an industrial food prep area with rows of various appliances. No expenses were spared. Every glass surface was broken. Every door was knocked out of its frame. Every metal surface was kicked and dented. Worst of all, the entire room smelled like stale, acrid piss.

The walk-in freezer, not even remotely cool at that point, had row upon row of empty shelves. Hooks hung from the ceiling, most likely for hanging cuts of meat. As I took in the sight for a moment, I noticed that several of them were swinging. Their movements were so slow and small that it was almost impossible to see if you weren’t paying attention. I briefly considered that it had been caused by me moving through, but they were moving in areas I hadn’t even been to yet.

The public bathrooms were in much the same state. Just like the Pirate’s Atoll resort, someone had methodically smashed each porcelain commode with whatever was available to throw. About a half-inch of stinking, stagnant water had pooled on the floor, so of course I didn’t stay for long. What’s odd is that the toilets and sinks (and the bidets, yes I went in there) all dripped, leaked, or just flowed freely. It seemed to me that the water should’ve been shut off quite a long time ago.

There were plenty of hotel-style rooms in the resort, but I definitely didn’t have time to look through them all. The few I did peer into were similarly destroyed, and I wouldn’t have realistically found anything interesting in them. I thought I could hear a television or radio in one room, since it almost sounded like there was a conversation going on inside. It was like a whisper, but looking back it could’ve just been my own breathing echoing in the silence. Maybe it was just entirely a trick of the mind.

It sounded like an exchange between two voices.

1: “I didn’t believe in it.” 2: (Nearly inaudible reply.)

1: “I didn’t know that. I couldn’t know that.” 2: “Father told you.”

1: (Nearly inaudible reply, similar to weeping.)

I’m aware of how ridiculous that sounds. Still, I suspected there might’ve been something running in that room – or worse, some meth heads who had holed up there and probably would’ve knifed me.

When I returned to the front of the palace, I figured I hadn’t found anything of note. The trip had been a waste of time. I was going to drive straight home again, rather than booking a hotel room, so I couldn’t even consider it a one-night vacation.

As I looked outside, I noticed something in the courtyard that I must’ve missed before. It was something that would give me one really cool thing to show for all my trouble, even if it was just a picture. A life-like statue of a python, maybe fifty feet long, sat coiled up and sunning itself on a large, graffiti covered rock. It was almost time for the sun to set, so light was falling onto it in the perfect way for a photograph.

I approached the python and snapped a photo. I stood on my toes and snapped another. I moved in closer to get the details of its face. Slowly, casually, the snake lifted its head and looked directly into my eyes. It turned, slithered off of the rock, across the grass, and into the tree line. Its head long disappeared into the woods before its tail even left the sunning spot.

Dandy Co. had released all of their exotic animals onto the grounds. Right there on my floor plan map was the reptile house. Of course, I should’ve expected it. I had read about the sharks at Pirate’s Atoll, and I should have known they would do this.

I was dumbfounded. Utterly stupefied. My mouth must’ve been hanging open for the longest time before I came to my senses and snapped it shut. I blinked stupidly for a moment, then backed toward the palace, away from the snake. Even though it was gone, I wasn’t taking any chances and retreated to the building to gather my wits again.

I looked for a place to sit down and breathe. I had always had an unreasonable fear of snakes… of anything with scales, really. At that point, my legs felt like they’d become jelly. Of course, there was no place to sit down unless I wanted to recline in broken glass and a leaf carpet crawling with insects. I could’ve hauled myself onto a desk, but it probably would’ve collapsed from age.

I had seen a receding staircase in the lobby and decided to have a seat there until my pulse stopped pounding in my ears. The stairs were far enough from the front of the building to be somewhat clean, other than a startling accumulation of dust. I pulled a wedge of metal off of the wall and used it as an improvised seat cover. Once again, it had been painted with the “ABANDONED BY DANDY” motto I had become accustomed to.

The stairway lead down to a below-ground level of the building. Using my flashlight, I could see that the stairs ended at a metal mesh door with a padlock. A sign on the door, a real sign unlike the hastily scrawled ones, read “Mascots only! Thank you!”. That perked up my spirits for two reasons.

First, a mascots-only area would definitely contain some interesting things back in the day. Second, the padlock was still in place. Nobody had gone down there – not the vandals, the looters, no one.

That was the one place I could actually explore, and perhaps find really unique stuff to photograph or even steal. I had come to the palace with the decision that it was okay to take something back for proof. After all, the owners clearly didn’t care.

I didn’t have much hope of breaking the lock. The ravages of age weren’t powerful enough to corrode the metal that much. What I could do, however, was separate the plate that held it in place from the damaged wood of the wall. The screws pulled free easily once I applied enough pressure. Either others hadn’t thought to try bypassing the lock, or it was still too solid when they had tried.

The mascots-only area was a startling and welcomed change from the rest of the palace. Every second or third florescent light was illuminated, though they flickered and faded randomly. Nothing had been broken or stolen, though time and desertion had taken their toll. Tables bore notepads and pens. Clocks hung on the walls, frozen at different times. There was a punch-in clock, complete with filled-out time cards. Chairs were scattered around, and long rotted-out food and drinks sat on counter tops. It was like one of those post-apocalyptic movies where everything is left in a state of evacuation.

As I wandered the maze-like sub-basement hallways, the sights became more and more disquieting. Further in, desks and tables were knocked over. Scattered papers had melded with the damp floor, and a large expanse of fungus was slowly overtaking rotted carpeting. Everything was just… squishy. Anything made of wood disintegrated into mush when I applied even the least amount of force. Clothing items left hanging on hooks simply fell to moist threads if I tried to remove them.

One thing that got on my nerves was that the light became more sparse and unreliable as I proceeded. It wasn’t dark enough for a flashlight, but not bright enough to be comfortable. The depths of the sub-basement grew dank and suffocating. Eventually, I reached a bright yellow door with the words “Mascot Prep 1” stenciled on its surface.

In my excitement, I all but yanked off the doorknob. I figured that room held the costumes, and I definitely wanted a photograph of that twisted, stinking mess. Try as I might, whatever angle or trick I tried, the door wouldn’t budge. That is, until I acknowledged defeat and began to walk away. That was when there was a slight popping sound, after which the door slowly creaked open just a bit.

Inside, the room was completely dark. Pitch black. I used my light to search for a switch on the wall by the door, but there was none. As I focused on the walls, I was jarred out of my concentration by a sudden and piercing electrical buzz. Rows of lights overhead suddenly flashed to life, flickering and fading like the others I had passed.

It took a second for my eyes to adjust, and it seemed as if the light was going to keep growing in brightness until the bulbs exploded. Just when I thought it would reach that critical stage, they dimmed a bit and steadied. The room was exactly how I had imagined it. Various Dandy character costumes hung on the walls like strange cartoon cadavers suspended from invisible nooses.

What I found odd, and what I really needed to make a record of, was a Lucky Lemming costume at the center of the room. Unlike the other costumes, it was lying on its back like a murder victim. Its fur was matted and shedding, creating bare patches.

What’s worse, however, was the coloring of the costume. I think mold and mildew must have taken root, seeming to turn it into a photo-negative version of the actual Lucky Lemming. Black rot where he should have been white. White fungus filaments where he should have been black. His clothes seemed faded and bleached, the opposite of their their usual hue.

The sight was so off-putting that I postponed looking at the thing again until I was ready to leave the room. I took a picture of the costumes hung on the walls. Upward angles, downward angles, side shots to show an entire row of frozen, putrefied cartoon faces. The occasional missing eye made it all the more grim.

Then, I decided to stage a shot. I was going to place one of the bedraggled character heads on the slick, grimy floor. Reaching for the headpiece of a Loopy Loon costume, I carefully removed it so it wouldn’t fall apart in my hands. As I looked into the face of the wide-eyed, moldering head, a loud clattering sound made me jump with fright.

Looking down at my feet, I saw a human skull now resting between my shoes. It had fallen out of the mascot head and cracked into several pieces. The empty face stared up at me, jaw detached.

I dropped the costume head immediately, as you’d no doubt expect. I moved for the door, but something stopped me. I looked back to the skull and felt a flush of anger. I had to take a picture to show the world. I’d need proof of this, especially if the Dandy Corporation was going to somehow make this all disappear. I had no doubt in my mind that Dandy was responsible for this, even if it was just gross negligence. Whatever happened, this was the real reason the resort had closed.

I was the only one who knew. Me.

As I contemplated the implications, that’s when Lucky… that photo-negative, opposite-character in the middle of the floor… started to get up. First sitting, then climbing to its feet, the Lucky Lemming costume, or whoever was inside of it, stood on over-sized, unsteady feet. All I could do was mumble “No…” over and over again as its false face stared me down with an inoffensive, pleasant expression.

With shaking hands, a violently thrashing heart, and legs that had once again turned to jelly, I managed to lift the camera. It took all of my strength to raise and aim it at the thing that was quietly sizing me up, head tilted. The camera’s screen displayed only dead pixels in the shape of the thing. It was a perfect silhouette of the Lucky Lemming costume. As the camera shifted and shook in my hands, the dead pixels spread, marring the screen wherever Lucky’s outline appeared.

The camera died. It went blank and quiet. It was broken. I raised my eyes once again from the black screen to the costume in front of me.

“Hey”, it said in a hushed, perfectly executed Lucky Lemming voice, “Wanna see my head come off?”

It started to pull at its own head, working clumsy, glove-clad fingers around the surface of its neck with clawing, impatient movements. It was like watching a wounded man trying to pull himself free from a predator’s jaws. As it worked its digits into the fabric flesh, rolling rivulets of thick, curdled, yellow bile spilled from what seemed like wounds. At least, it looked like bile. Infected blood? Pus?

Vomit? I had zero interest in finding out.

I turned away as I heard a sickening tearing of cloth and flesh. I only cared about getting away.

Above the doorway out of the room, I saw a final message clawed into metal with fingernails, or possibly bone. “ABANDONED BY GOD”.

The picture files in the camera were irretrievable. I never got my head around writing the blog entry about what happened. After I ran from that place, fleeing for my sanity as much as my life, I knew why the Dandy Corporation didn’t want anyone to know about this place.

They didn’t want anyone like me getting in, because they didn’t want anything like that getting out.

[kittyandco-archive]

🤪🥰🏷️🙈 for your SI with Sephiroth~ @goldenworldsabound

@goldenworldsabound DON'T MAKE ME PONDER HIM

i love him i just never think about Us. like our actual ship. it's weird. i think it's because i need to really delve back into the canon 🤔

🤪: What is your trait that fanon would exaggerate?

i think most of her fanon portrayal would boil down to "pushover." ditzy. naïve. too pliant.

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

ON THE OTHER HAND, those who enjoy her would understand that she has fallen victim to naivety before, that she's had issues with being a pushover at times, but she still tries to stand her ground on things... it's difficult for her, but not impossible. she believes in the good of all beings and people, no matter how hidden it might be (which definitely influenced her perception of sephiroth, tho she knew him before The Fuckening), and there's something valuable about that

🏷️: What is you and your f/o’s ship name?

i've never explained this before but it's "imagine us" because my s/i is the dreamy type, perhaps idealistic... (he doesn't always like it) but also "imaginary" by evanescence is just our song. it always has been since the BEGINNING (over a decade dang 😭), because it reminds me of the way my s/i is very invested in a world of her own creation, not wanting to face the Constant Horrors despite dedicatedly loving the major REASON of those horrors alkjlksdj the cognitive dissonance is real

but ALSO also, she gets the Biggest crush on him first and those romantic daydreams are no joke

🙈: Why would your ship be thought of as cute/fluffy? Why would your ship be considered problematic?

cute because my s/i is so tender with him 😭 problematic maybe for the same reason like girl come to your senses this man is an actual menace (but idc 👀 the more menacing the better for me)

‘Imagine Your S/I Was Canon…’ Self-Ship Asks