#i knew it had been about a decade but dang.

[basicallyjaywalker]

so i got curious today and checked when the air date for S1E10 "The Green Ninja" was in my country and realized it was over eleven years ago. That was the first episode I ever watched and it activated the longest-running, most invested special interest I've ever had.

So now I'm curious. What was the first ninjago episode other people in the fandom watched? How long ago did it air? How are you, personally, contending with your own mortality because I was in elementary school when I first watched and now I'm a university student.

[scatterpatter]

one of the best things about embracing plurality and starting to actually admit I'm part of a system online is realizing just how many people in my spaces are also plural and its just

[punksyeet]

ᰔᩚ Bestie Kisses & Birthday Wishes ᰔᩚ

Plot: Gianna’s (OC) birthday wish is granted after spending a celebratory dinner with her best friend of over a decade.

Warning: Mature language, hefty flirting, & talks of smut!

"Thank you for dinner Josh," I coo, swirling my straw in my shirley temple. "It was amazing."

He shoots me that dreamy smile of his while taking a sip from his wine glass. "My pleasure, birthday girl. You know I had to go all out for you."

I smile shyly, before taking a strand of hair away from my face.

Joshua Fatu has been my best friend for over 15 years now, but within the past year or so, I've developed a little bit — well more like a lotta bit — of a crush on him.

Ever since he went solo in his job over at WWE, he's had this glow to him. And he's so much happier.

It's an attractive glow. And as his best friend, I love seeing him happy. More than anything.

Soon enough, I'm caught out of my daydreaming by a bunch of waiters coming over to our table with a cake.

It's baby pink and shaped like a heart, with white borders and long candles. 

I dramatically stick out my bottom lip as they sing to me.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday from Canoe!

Happy birthday to you!

I make a wish and blow out the candles and a bunch of people that are sat around us start cheering, Josh included.

I giggle and thank the servers as Josh daps up the manager, before they go back to their jobs.

"This cake is so pretty," I coo, staring at it dreamily.

He gives me another warm smile, taking pictures of me with it. "I remember a couple months ago you were looking at it on Pinterest. So I got the bakery by my place to make it for you."

"Ugh you're the sweetest," I reply, walking around the table and wrapping him into a hug. "Thank you."

He immediately hugs back, stroking my back. "You're welcome, love. Now come on. Let's see if this cake tastes as good as it looks."

I walk back over to my side, sit down, and we dig in.

The rest of our dinner is filled with more small talk, laughs, and even Josh putting frosting on my nose.

"I'm so full," I groan, walking back to the car.

Josh chuckles and walks beside me, his hand resting on my lower back. "Me too. But as long as you enjoyed the food, that's all that matters."

I nod, smiling softly. "I really did."

He smiles and opens the passenger door for me and takes my hand, helping me in.

Once he's in as well, we head off.

About 2 minutes into the drive, we decide to jam to some music.

I queue up "Love" by Keyshia Cole, and sing the words, serenading Josh as he drives.

He laughs and shakes his head as I belt the words.

Ohhhh loooooooooove!

Never knew what I was missin!

But I knew once we start kissin,

I foooo-ooo-oo-ooound....

Loooooooveeeeee!

Once the song is over, I try to catch by breath and lean back into my seat.

Josh looks over at me and chuckles. "You really sang that shit, huh?"

I nod giggling, and scan my playlist for more songs.

About 20 minutes later, we reach my place.

"Why don't you come inside?" I ask, taking my seatbelt off. "It's still early."

"You sure?" he asks. "I don't wanna be in the way if you wanna just relax for the rest of the night."

I roll my eyes playfully, and hop out of the car. "Boy we've been best friends for over a decade. You know you're never in the way. Now shut up and come inside."

He chuckles and gives in, hopping out of the car and following me up my walkway.

Once we get inside, the comforting smells of vanilla and lavender take over, immediately relaxing me.

"Dang I haven't been here in a hot minute," he exclaims, immediately taking a seat on the couch.

I nod in agreement, taking the cushion next to him and propping my elbow up on the top of the couch. "Cause you're never home anymore."

He gives me a soft smile. "I know. But you know how it is."

I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.

"But I'm here now!" he says, lightening the mood with a goofy dance.

I burst into laughter and whack him upside the head with a pillow. "You're such a goof!"

"And you love it," he replies, laughing along with me.

We share a hug before I get up and adjust my dress. "I'm gonna change. You need anything while I'm up?"

He shakes his head and pulls out his phone. "Nah I'm good, thank you. Take your time."

I nod, smiling and head up to my bedroom to pick out a comfier but still cute outfit.

I find a cute cropped white tank top and Hello Kitty pajama pants.

I head to the bathroom and remove my makeup, tie my hair into a messy bun, and head back downstairs.

Josh looks up when he hears my footsteps and smiles. "You look cute."

I smile back and take my seat next to him. "Thanks."

We hug and he kisses my temple.

He's been doing this in a brotherly way for years now, but for some reason, it feels different now.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" he asks, wrapping an arm around my waist and stroking my side.

I nod, laying my head on his shoulder. "Only the best when I'm with you."

"Good," he replies, smiling and laying his head back.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him looking down at me.

After pondering for a little bit, I finally gain the confidence to look back, making us both smile in unison.

"Whatchu lookin at?" I tease, playfully messing with his hair.

He playfully pouts and folds his arms. "What? I can't look atchu no more?"

"Of course you can," I reply, flicking my hair off my shoulder. "Look all you want."

"Bet," he mutters under his breath and we have a mini staring contest before he speaks up again.

"You know," he begins. "You looked real pretty tonight."

Me? Sir, you looked delicious.

"Thank you," I reply, slightly blushing but doing my very best to hide it. "You looked good too. You always do."

He gives me a soft smile and takes a strand of hair out of my face. "Can I be honest?"

I smile, scooting myself so I'm fully facing him. "Of course you can. You know I'm always listening."

He takes a deep breath before talking again. "I really wanna kiss you right now."

My breathing hitches and I stop dead in my tracks.

"Y-you what?" I ask, making sure I heard him correctly and it wasn't just another one of my daydreams.

"I wanna kiss you," he repeats. "I've wanted to for years now."

My jaw drops open in shock. "Years?"

He nods, biting his lip. "I never had the balls to go about shooting my shot, despite me having zero game. And I loved our friendship too much to end it over what I thought was a silly crush. But as we've gotten older, I realized that it's more than just that. I love you, Gianna. Like I love love you. And I want to make you mine, ma."

I just sit there, speechless.

Everything that just came out of his mouth is exactly how I feel.

I just never knew the right words.

I take a deep breath before responding.

"Well I'm glad one of us had the courage to say it," I say, my voice just above a whisper. "Because I love you too."

He raises an eyebrow. "Really? You're not just saying that?"

I shake my head, biting my lip gently. "My crush on you has only gotten bigger throughout the years. I just didn't know how or when to tell you. I didn't wanna lose you forever."

"Baby," he coos, cupping my face. "It would take some next level fucked up shit for you to lose me. Let alone forever. Regardless of anything and everything, I'm always gonna be here. Okay?"

I nod slowly, and play with his curls. "Okay."

We stare into each other's eyes for a bit more until I make the first move, slowly leaning in and placing my lips on his.

He automatically responds, our lips moving in sync the entire time.

God I've been waiting for this.

And I've never experienced anything more worth waiting for.

After a few seconds, we slowly pull away.

"Fuck that felt good," he mumbles, causing us to share a laugh.

I nod in agreement, before pressing our foreheads together gently. "It really did. Your lips are everything I've ever dreamed of."

"Well I'm glad they met your expectations," he replies with a soft smile before connecting our lips again, which this time, leads me to straddling his lap.

After lots of innocent touching, he pulls away and looks into my eyes.

"We can take this as far as you want," he exclaims, stroking my thighs. "Just say the words, baby."

I take a deep breath before responding, my fingers still tangled in his hair. "Joshua, I don't know about you, but I've been waiting for this moment for over a decade. Fuck the shit outta me for all I care."

"Well in that case," he replies, smirking and caressing my ass in his hands. "Let's get you laid back so you can enjoy yourself, babygirl. Because it's gonna be a long night."

I bite my lip gently and wrap my legs around his waist as he picks us up and walks upstairs to my bedroom.

And a long night it was.

In more ways than one.

—————————————————————————————————

I wake up and immediately stretch to the sound of birds chirping it up and the bright sunlight coming through my curtains.

My eyes flutter open and land on my now beautiful boyfriend, peacefully sleeping next to me.

I softly smile and lay back down in his arms, kissing the corner of his lips before pulling the covers over us once more.

He stirs in his sleep, pulling me in closer and sighing, before allowing light snores to pour out of him again.

A little while later, I get the random urge to pee.

I gently wiggle out of his grip and make my way to the bathroom, stumbling a little bit due to last night's thrilling events.

I do my business alongside my morning routine, before coming out and seeing Josh wide awake, scrolling on his phone.

He looks up and smiles when he sees me. "Morning, beautiful."

"Morning love," I reply, climbing back into bed.

We share a kiss before I lay back down and get comfortable again.

"How'd you sleep?" he asks, running his fingers through my hair.

"Mmmm like a baby," I reply dreamily, melting into his touch. "Thanks to my new friend down there."

He smirks and leans down to give me yet another kiss. "He's always been your friend. You two have just never met properly."

"Sir if you're implying that you've jacked off to me..." my voice trails off as he chuckles.

"Maybe," he replies, throwing his hands up. "Maybe not."

I playfully roll my eyes and act as though I'm going back to sleep. "It's too early for this."

He laughs and lays back down as well, attacking my face with kisses. "I love you, pretty mama."

"I love you more baby," I reply between giggles, before gently scratching his beard and kissing his jaw.

He wraps me back into his arms and, after lots more stolen kisses, we drift back to sleep.

I'm so glad the man of my dreams is finally mine.

Liked by uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, rikishi, and 93.7k others

giannamacri chapter twenty five: complete 💐

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uceyjucey The baddest birthday girl 👀🩷

trinity_fatu Gorgeous sis 😮‍💨🥰

Liked by giannamacri, jonathanfatu, rikishi, solosikoa, and 1.5M others

uceyjucey Happy birthday to my forever best friend and now the woman I can finally call mine. The baddest chick in the world. I love you baby. 🩵

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giannamacri i love you 🥹🥲🤍

jonathanfatu Happy for yall twin 🤞🏽🩸

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[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

I used to be part of the TOH fandom but left after the finale - I felt it was very lacking and was a huge letdown for all the reasons you said. Patting itself on the back and lore erasure. But I'd like to ask about something different.

It's no secret Dana hates Disney. But saying it everywhere, the jabs at Disney in the actual show, the attitude of fans parroting her, especially when the news of the shortening was first out - it was legitimately intense. Disney the company has done bad things. But there was a period where I felt like a bad person for even remotely enjoying Disney movies and Disney-published books. I hated myself and felt I was 'betraying' the show, because I had been told Disney was the enemy and nothing more. Disney shortening the show was not a good decision. But it also provided fans with a convenient scapegoat to put every bit of blame on when the show had the tiniest flaw. Comics of beating up Mickey Mouse, 'Disney' being treated like a swear word, praising TOH as the holy grail of animation and saying Disney hated gay people - it made me feel I was a traitor to the show and to myself. (I'm still figuring out my sexuality, but I know I'm not straight.)

Do you think the Disney blame game was too much?

The toh fandom has this incredibly binary way of thinking; the show is the greatest thing in animation and if you don't agree then you're a bigot. Lumity is the best sapphic ship ever and if you don't think so then you're lesbophobic. Shipping non canon ships is tantamount to a war crime. And of course, any criticism of the show has the convenient Disney defense. Any and all flaws of the show is because Disney is evil for not letting the show reach its full potential.

Listen, getting your show cancelled or shortened sucks. But, unfortunately, it's not unique and writers need to prepare for that because it seems to be an occupational hazard in the entertainment industry. A lot of shows get cancelled without even having a conclusion (thank you Netflix for ending the Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance on a cliffhanger! even after the show won a got dang Emmy! 😤) so people should be thankful that at least the toh crew were allowed to finish the story.

I can give grace when analyzing a show's elements knowing what the writers had to deal with. But if they make decisions knowing ahead of time that they only have half a season and 3 specials left, and proceed to add more characters and plot lines that would require a longer season, then those are all fair game.

Dana knew of the Shortening around the production of Eda's Requiem, yet decided to add the Collector, because screw it! We like this little guy and want to see where it goes! They had Hunter get possessed and kill his best friend, yet barely any time is given to him to process that trauma. In the penultimate episode, Boscha, of all people, gets a mini sub plot despite not being relevant for a full season. Luz's angst arc gets 4. separate. resolutions.

None of this is Disney's fault. This all on the crew for not using their precious time wisely and tossing whatever they can to the wall to see what sticks.

So yeah, the Disney blame game is too much but it's also a blessing in disguise because now it's a convenient shield for whoever doesn't want to hear criticism about the show.

As for feeling guilty about liking Disney; listen, Disney has been foundational for literally millions of people for decades. Its presence and influence is seemingly inescapable. And the company has done some awful things in the name of corporate greed and profit.

But you should never feel guilty for liking something that brings you joy.

Remember that writers and artists are responsible for the shows you love. Many queer folks have seen themselves in Disney movies for a variety of reasons and there are many queer artists that have worked for Disney (hi Howard Ashman and Andreas Deja!)

So no, you're not a traitor for liking Disney.

The toh fandom has a very reactionary, us-vs-them attitude and it's incredibly toxic. So don't let the haters get you down!

I wish you well on your journey and hope you're in a better place.

Thank you for the ask!

[drama-glob]

SPOILERS FOR "OOPS"

OMG TO ALL THE FLUFF WE GOT IN THIS EPISODE!!! <3<3<3 Literally squealed at how adorable Fizz and Ozzie are (which I already knew ;) ) and the fact that Fizz can't cook. ^_^<3<3<3 I also find it funny that they really weren't doing a good job at keeping their relationship under-wraps and how Fizz himself was not being low-key. XD I do love all his little fly dogs and the fact that one is in a wheelchair is absolutely adorable because he really does care about them as we see. ^_^ <3<3<3

Of course fate would bring Blitzo and Fizz's paths to cross, although I'm still surprised that we got Striker in this episode because I had heard about Crimson's men since it was in Greed after all, but dang, he must be trying to get business outside of royals since the last one didn't pan out. :/ I had a feeling that if it wasn't a hit put out on Fizz, then he'd be ransomed, so it just broke my heart at seeing how distressed he was at almost every turn; at least with talking with Blitzo it served as a distraction for him. It's still awful that he and Blitzo got kidnapped and in a way proved part of the reason for Fizz and Ozzie trying to keep their relationship secret (which admittedly didn't seem too well based on what Crimson said >_< ).

I do love that Blitzo obviously does have feelings for Stolas, and Fizz made some pretty good points about not all royal demons being the same as well as acting superior to others does cast you as snobby rich jerks; I know Fizz's been treated so well by Ozzie for over a decade, but he still came from humble beginnings and probably dealt with the same racist stuff other imps faced. :/

It was nice to see Stolas and Ozzie interact, even if it mainly was to go over the ransom demands, but I love that Stolas was empathetic and helpful in Ozzie's time of need even though Ozzie was withholding the crystal because of Fizz's hatred for Blitzo; I do hope Blitzo and Stolas will have their talk in the "Full Moon Ritual" episode because there is still so much he doesn't know about Blitzo's past. ;_;

I'm so glad that we got the confirmation that Blitzo caused the fire that cost Fizz his limbs and horns, but also the fact that he also lost his mom in the same fire...and it was all an ACCIDENT?! It was truly heartbreaking even if we were fed plenty of clues as to that being the reason why. ;_; It does figure that from there it was a whole misunderstanding that tore Blitzo and Fizz's friendship apart and I wonder who this "They" are that lied and said that Blitzo didn't come and Fizz didn't want to see Blitzo. Maybe Mammon's men if he was pick up by the Deadly Sin at that point? I do wonder why the fire was green while the sky was red like they were still in Pride. Hmmm. More to the mystery perhaps. ;) I'm guessing we'll see how Ozzie and Fizz met in the next episode. So excited!!! ^_^<3<3<3

Fizz's song was definitely VERY distracting and yes, I will look at this. O_O XD It is funny that none of the men seemed to catch on to their plan. XD

It was so beautiful and heartwarming that Blitzo and Fizz hugged and it seems to me like they're making their way back as friends, if they aren't there already. ;) I don't blame Fizz for being mad that he got blown up again, but like Blitzo said, at least he stayed around this time. ;) ^_^ <3<3<3 I'm still worried about Striker coming back though. O_O He just keeps getting more and more unhinged with each loss. >_<

When Ozzie and Fizz reunited those, I went "AWWWW" so hard and I love the way Ozzie said "Fizzy!" ^_^<3<3<3 It was really sweet though that Fizz told Ozzie to give Stolas the crystal for Blitzo as he DEFINITELY earned it today for saving Fizz's life. I wonder if Blitzo will tell Stolas? :/ Either way, seeing the amount of care the Ozzie gave Fizz and didn't blame him for anything that happened and just wanted him to take it easy, seriously kept melting my heart over and over. ^_^<3<3<3 They're so cute together and deserve all the happiness! ^_^<3<3<3

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep8 Musings - Loustat (SPOILERS) Pt2: Reunion

You don't know the HALF of what Lestat feels for Louis, to let YOUR grimy arse steal his man, just for LOUIS's happiness. ANYTHING for Louis.

Am I the only one who felt left hanging? We BEEN knew it didn't make sense, but what's your POINT, exactly? If Louis misremembered Lestat whispering, it's just par for the course about the odyssey of recollection. But if Lestat DID do telepathy, is that evidence of...what? That the vampire bond works differently than what's been explained? That he COULD read Lou's mind? AMC, this is AGGRAVATING.

Your goose is COOKED, my guy.

The copium & denial pack Louis was smoking as he laughed was 🤌

That's right, start sweating!

Master manipulation; cuz he certainly would NOT have, as we soon find out. ANYTHING for Louis. (Dang, Imma have to take back some of what I said about Lestat's character development not having started yet.)

I was shocked. I was NOT expecting this plot twist. I was ready to throw Lestat out with the rest of the TRASH, in the DUMP. Well dang. Guess I'll only leave him rotting in a TINY landfill.

I nearly SCREAMED--@nashvillethotchicken and I were talking about Loustat as Bobby and Whitney ages ago! I cannot BELIEVE AMC threw in a New Edition reference in the year of our lord 2024; y'all are diabolical AF, Rolin, STOP IT.

I wonder if AMC used Hurricane Odette cuz the OG script was set in pandemic!2020, so it would make sense that a year later Louis would head back to NOLA during 2021 when Hurricane Odette last hit.

That looks like NOLA's Pontchartrain Hotel--lemme find out he bumped into the Mayfairs when Rowan & them were in town, LOL.

Lestat got more aliases than the KGB; meanwhile Louis just sprinkles his long AF unique AF name all over the place. 🤦 But I guess it's ok, since the tour guide never mentioned him & Claudia by name. (Not Tom Anderson in another finale, LOL.) Louis so offended the tour guide said he ran a voodoo cult. XD

Fall of the House of Lioncourt-Melmouth.

You're gosh darned right! THEE Louis of Troy is in the building!

You love to see it. "A wearisome fledgling; all the millennials are--" not Lestat making PALE PROXIES of rat-catcher extraordinare LDPDL out of millennials. 😭

Lestat, if you don't get your crazy arse outta here with that bloodstained wooden keyboard Imma ROTFLMFAO.

NO JOKE, I effed up my friend's whole set when I started screaming "Siri, Pause," cuz my friend's Siri started freaking out and effed up the volume! XD

HERE WE EFFING GOOOOOOOO

(Best scene all season, fight me on this)

You know this was TEARING Lestat up, cuz of what happened in 1973--I gave Louis to you so you could do BETTER by him than EYE did, and instead it's NICKI ALL OVER AGAIN.

Imma smack him--this is NOT the time to be self-loathing, Lestat!

NOLA is my home--and the SAINT is not a city--I'm gonna cry.

He did. He just forgot, when reality settled in and the allure/nostalgia/glamour wore off. "I tried to make nights awful for you." Not the whole time, Louis. Y'all actually were happy b4--even Claudia said "the easy times" stopped after Florence died; and esp. after Charlie died. Lou can't be blamed for grieving his mom's death, and he definitely can't be blamed for Lestat & Claudia falling out after Charlie. Everything that happened after that--the 7 years of depression--was ALSO Lestat's fault. "I wanted you to suffer, cuz I was suffering;" I'm glad Les just waved that aside and said they BOTH wronged e/o.

He's not suicidal anymore then! He has nights in front of him to look forward to! So Lou can finally "learn to live honestly" with HIMSELF.

And Lestat dove RIGHT ON IN with that! He's been carrying that with him for DECADES, worried about Louis & what happened.

I LOVE that Les' language changes (the way his voice CRACKS and goes so TINY, oml)--he asked Lou in 1973 if he was "ill," and if something had happened TO him; so as to not spook/trigger or blame him--but he can ask more candidly now in a (relatively) "healthier" 2024 if Lou tried to hurt/kill himself; and get a more candid/honest answer. CLOSURE, y'all, I'm gonna cry.

GOOOOOOD. Don't EVER forget your daughter. Y'all need to have a Claudia Memorial; to KEEP remembering her, as she was in all her vampiric splendour, the good times AND the bad times.

I KNOW this hurt Louis to his effing core. The way Jacob cried FIRE!

I'm so glad Lou hugged him--YES YOU WERE, Uncle Les. And you KNOW it; you FELT that bond b/t y'all, even if she never looked at you. The distance b/t y'all was in name only, cuz a little Black girl couldn't have TWO daddies in 1917 and have one of them be white on top of it. I AM YOUR MAKER, sure, but you were her BLOOD FATHER, and she loved you, which is why she hoped you'd help her.

ANOTHER ROUND IN THE STORMY ROMANCE OF YOU TWO. 😭👏

What are these magical off-mic speeches/pep-talks Louis keeps giving people in Season 2?!? THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW, gosh darnit!

DRATS.

I get why Jam said they thought the Loustat ending was "satisfying." It was nice, even though I'd've preferred to see Lestat in the Dubai penthouse at the end. :\

I LOVE THIS, AMC, thank you! ❤️

[sakuraryomen01]

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Reader/ .o8

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, some light teasing, more tutoring sessions, and Sukuna punches a pervert!

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.125k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I've felt mentally drained so I'm going to finish this dang chapter holy frick did this take so long :D

. . .

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy! ❤️

. . .

Sleep didn't come easy to you, and it was expected. Seeing Sukuna in his vulnerable state, having him confirm a small doubt in your mind, and having Shoko spur on your aching heart.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you needed to force it. You can't force someone to love you back.

Sukuna had his reasons, and it didn’t concern you in the slightest. You told yourself that as much as possible when you felt the need to say something to him after lessons and classes, or do simple things like ask about his day. When you wanted to ask, you bit your tongue and stayed silent. Sticking to the normal day to day chit chat between classmates.

Don’t bug him more than you already do. You say to yourself as you lift your fist up and knock on the door a few times.

There was a quiet "enter" from his side of the door, and when you did as told you didn't see Sukuna in the living room or kitchen like normal.

"Sukuna?" You asked, confusion filling your brain. You continued to wander around the dorm until Sukuna's bedroom door opened up, revealing a disheveled man.

His hair a mess, t-shirt lopsided and somewhat dirty, and boxers on full display. You quickly averted your eyes, trying to save Sukuna his dignity. "Hello to you too."

He waved before heading into his bedroom to change and look cleaner. Moving yourself to your usual space on the couch, you pulled out your things and started flipping through a notebook.

There was almost no noise, besides the random grunts of Sukuna shuffling through his things. Even your thoughts going quiet and jumbled with the notes in your book. Writing things down and not noting the shadow being cast over you by Sukuna.

"Hey, what're you working so hard on?" His voice broke your train of thought, making you look up at him.

"Uhm, tutoring?" You responded, a questioning tone in your voice. "Why?"

Sukuna sighed, resting his cheek against his fist, maroon eyes scanning your figure. "Don't you wanna have fun instead?"

The question catches you off guard and you chuckle, patting his knee in an almost loving manner. "I don't think you should have fun until you get better grades."

"God, you sound like my mother!"

You crinkle your nose as Sukuna's rather modest laughter fills the air. It had been a while since you saw a smile.

With a sigh, you straightened your posture and started to the session, seeing Sukuna's eyes begin to glaze over in a bored pout. You didn't like doing much studying either, but keeping your grades up mattered to you.

Sukuna knew this, watching you diligently work with him to help. So determined..

——

"..How are your parents?" He asked, his eyes lazily looking towards you.

It had been an hour since the tutoring had started that day, and Sukuna's mind was elsewhere. It was dull, the schedule he has wrapped himself into. It was the same thing everyday, seeing the hundreds of students around campus and ending up stuck in his dorm with you.

Talking about equations and random stuff he was already familiar with became tedious. Even though he was willing just to see you.

Never say that out loud though.

"Oh, they're fine," You answered, a slightly confused look on your face as you tapped the cap of your red pen on the notebook.

Sukuna raised a brow, scooting himself closer into your space, a small smile on his face. "That's not specific enough. I wanna know how they're doing."

I just told you– "Well, my dad's working on some project for the house apparently. He wanted to make a garden for it."

"Your dad's still the plant guy, huh?"

You pout your lips as Sukuna's curled into a smirk. "Not always. He got into sports cars for some reason, even though he's a planet health guy."

Sukuna chuckles at this before starting to write a few things down in his notebook. You grumble with a slightly warm flush filling your cheeks. Either way, you couldn't really complain much, his smirk made you feel warm inside.

"Are you done with the questions I gave you?" You asked, leaning your head over and bumping your cheek against Sukuna's shoulder.

"Yeah, the last one stumps me though.."

After teasing him for a few moments about his blunders and getting side eyed for the next twenty minutes, you eventually were able to explain the problem before Sukuna pointing out how late it had gotten.

"I could order a pizza and you just sleep over again." He said as he put away his things, placing a hand on his hip. "It'd be best, this dorm is filled with shit drunk guys."

"Aw, you're so sweet," You responded, lifting your bag over your shoulder strap while hiding all the giddy cuteness inside you. "But it's just a five minute walk to my place. I'll be fine!"

There was a hostile look of discontent in his maroon eyes that read: How dare you say no to me?

A confused shiver was sent down your spine before you sighed and pat Sukuna's arm, heading towards the door. "I'll text you when I get home, promise."

Letting out a small grunt, Sukuna eventually caved and you went home. Although he did threaten that he'll give you a stern talking to if he didn't get a text.

He's got more layers than an onion.*

Though, as you made your way home, you bumped into someone. His hair was messy, sunglasses barely hanging onto his head with his hair pushed back, and pants dirtier than your crustiest sock. But his pink cheeks and glossy eyes didn't betray you in recognizing one of your weirdest friends to date.

"Satoru? What are you doing out?" You place a hand on the males exposed forehead and humming to yourself. "..Are you high, drunk, or sick?"

With a delayed reaction, a hiccup, and a pout, you got this. "My girl, you're judgy so muchy~ Let me life without demands!"

You raise a brow and scoff. I know he'll regret this drinking in the future.

"Fine, but I have to go home now," You say, patting the disheveled mans shoulder, a smile on your face. "Don't trip walking up those stairs!"

But as you said goodbye, Gojo leaned in and placed a soft peck on your cheek with surprising accuracy. You blink in confusion as Gojo smiles loosely and pets your head. "Don't hurt yourself either, Miss best friend chaser!"

Before words could process, or a thought was able to work the cogs in your headspace, there was a grunt and a very big "someone's jaw might have gotten broken" sound.

. . .

a/n: hope you guys have been doing well! srry i haven't posted in almost two months maybe really, so many things came up. I was worried about mental health for a while, wasn't feeling motivated to write much but then smthing else happened. Huge changes are happening so we might end up with another writer's drought lmao (I'm going to college soon and do adult things ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙;;;)

*and if u didnt get the reference I'll scream*

Chapter Song Theme:

— Ariana Grande - God is a woman (Lyric Video)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us, @gumis-girl, @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-n-l0ve, @jiordeci

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[misscammiedawn]

You may have discussed it before, but would you mind speaking a little bit on how you discovered you have DID?

I feel like I have a pretty stable core identity but there have been times under intense stress where I’ve experienced sudden “switches” in my personality. During a particularly bad period for a little over a year there was a time where I distinctly felt like a different person and did things I wouldn’t normally do, and I remember the specific moment where I came back into my body and became “me” again. This doesn’t happen often, but it has happened more than once throughout my life. When I see people talk about plurality I feel a little confused because their identities often seem to have their own names and genders and ages and backstories, and it seems so cut-and-dry.

I know these are all things to discuss with my therapist but I love how you talk about your own experiences. How can you differentiate between DID and other kinds of dissociation?

Thank you for asking, anon! I'm glad you are going to talk to your therapist about it while also doing the reading and reaching out-- heaven knows our own journey within the US mental healthcare system was rocky at best. The latest chapter of Madison/Belladonna is heavily sourced from IRL circumstances both in receiving the diagnosis and the decades long journey in the mental healthcare system to get there.

But to answer more directly-- (as always we are answering from a psychopathology lens for care and treatment, we recognize the beauty of plurality and do not reduce ALL experiences to mental healthcare concerns, we are approaching our own situation and experiences this way as it is how we lived it)

Our journey was guided from the outside. Both therapists and our partner who was able to see these "mood swings" in us were able to gently guide us to water despite our fierce denial and rejection of our situation. What started as "we're fine" turned to "mood swings" turned to "BPD" turned to "---maybe we should read up on OSDD?" Turned to our current therapist telling us over a year ago that we had DID after months of testing and interviewing to determine.

I should also note I likely realized it MULTIPLE times in my history and buried it again and again. I legitimately think that people in my former life knew and either assumed I knew too or worse I had told them and forgot that I told them. It worries me because I cannot ever be certain. I once asked my ex-wife about it after the divorce/diagnosis and she did say it was weird how she had a "different husband" depending on environment and social group. She said she never noticed it during the interactions, but she would always think back and feel that the "me" in any given moment was different from the ones she observed in social/work situations etc.

So like--- even if people notice, sometimes they don't even realize what they're seeing. Honestly I go full No Mask at work even when a male part fronts and no one really bats an eye. I don't think *most* people are as observant as we worry they are.

ANYWAY! Looking back these are the signs that I ignored:

- I not just wrote a consistent journal through every phase of my life (even going as far as to have a "memory list" that I populated "when I felt like it" (<- IE: when a part that associated with the memory was fronting and wanted to type about it) and more importantly I READ it. Often. I sometimes think that the majority of our memories are just imagined versions of what we wrote. That notion is helped by the fact we [used to] stop journaling during times of crisis or delete journal/chat log to prevent us thinking about distressing things.

- I wrote a lot of plural characters in my stories since my teenage years. Kinda like I kept writing female versions of myself? Funny how the Trans and DID acceptance arcs are so dang similar.

- I would emotionally cave in on myself after gatherings, berating myself for how I had acted all evening. Getting deeply upset at how "out of control" I was. We outright AVOID mood altering substances like alcohol or weed.

- When talking about traumatic memories we typically just tell the story rote. It doesn't bother us. We told therapists without batting an eyelid. This is dissociation. We were disconnecting ourselves from our memories. Emotionally distancing ourselves from the experiences.

- In the same vein, when we remember things we imagine things in locations like a 3rd person camera. Not populated. We don't hear or feel or associate. It's just a place and a knowledge. Our whole "context packet" thing where we just understand something without *feeling* it.

- Deleted emails and chatlogs, references to things we don't remember. Discord messages with people we don't remember talking to. It bothers me how many people in our online communities we were actually close to at some stage of our life and then erased. This is specific to us but Dawn has opened many accounts in the hypnokink community and Camden has shut them down and this has happened so many times that we don't even get upset when we find a buried email from 2013 with sign-up to a Yahoo Email account we don't remember having. That sounds dramatic. It's more just. Go into your emails, pull stuff up from 5-10 years ago and just scroll a while. See how much you remember and associate into. It's NORMAL to forget what websites you were browsing a decade ago. It's not normal to have an entire *LIFE* you hid from yourself.

- Sometimes people just... saw/knew us before we did and there were times when they would describe a version of us they weren't supposed to see and we got complete dysphoria over it. Sometimes it as joyful. Someone we love saw Cammie well enough to say when we transitioned that they wanted to see that "windswept girl with the big smile" all of the time. Sometimes it's mortifying, like when someone approaches Camden as if she is Dawn and Camden REJECTED that side of us so heavily that it caused emotional meltdowns and turmoil because Camden didn't WANT to be a sexy confident domme, she could barely see herself as a woman, when people saw the wrong version of us *without permission* it was just a violation that made things WORSE.

- On that note-- meltdowns-- we mentioned the whole "after a social gathering we'd emotionally cave in on ourselves" thing, there was a lot of that. After work we'd get a complete drop from having to be in Manager Mode all day or we'd have a crisis after erotic intimacy encounters because we're sex repulsed ace. The fact is our nervous system was activated during those times, our survival instincts were kicked in and brought the part associated to the surface to DEAL and when they backed off our body was still reacting to the trauma trigger and it would cause us to implode.

All of these things in therapy brought us to the conclusion of BPD. Because therapists be like that at times. A *TRAUMA* therapist gave us some DES-II, MID and ACE tests and worked out what was going on within 3 months.

It took a further 6-9 months with constant support from loved ones who were able to see us as individuals to *ACCEPT* it. This is a denial disorder, it doesn't want to be found. Asking questions, being honest and being accepting is the best way to come to terms with it. I wish it were easier and I wish you luck and support in your journey. Our inbox is always open!

You're not alone <3

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 3

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

oh, that's good, he's (Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan) not dead p135

also not related to my read, but this time I am actually writing at my table (instead of cocooned in a blanket on my couch) so hopefully these note are easier to read (Read: I am trying to have neater handwriting for ✨aesthetic✨). All I need with my notes, book, and tea is a candle and i'd be living my ancient academic fantasy.

If anyone wants to know this chapter is accompanied by a white tea that tastes like loquats. It's my favourite nostalgic tea. My family used to travel south when I was small and my grandparent's house there had a loquat tree. I haven't had loquats in over a decade (canada lol) but this tea tastes jut like them.

Anyways! Back to SVSSS!

Give me patience: the amount of dislike I have anytime Ming Fan is present p135

oh dang, this boy can cook! p138

Re: this boy can cook- Bye LOL "Luo Binghe's excellent cooking skills were his foremost lady-killing technique." p138

boo, I am upset that the Abyss scenario still needs to happen (But I get it, of course it can't be that easy- we do need plot for this book) p139

I can't XD he really is falling into the plot/character of Protagonists Love Interest. First the congee cooking and no the "Poison cure" p142

WAIT. THE CURE FOR THE POSION. wut p143

RE: WAIT: I am crying LOL

But like could he 👀 "Like, he knew that the going at it with the protagonist could have cured the poison, but like he could do that! Could he? Ha ha ha ha..." p145

Not Liu Qingge over here thinking Shen Qingqiu is possessed (not really wrong though) p147

once again we have Ming Fan -> honestly I would not be surprised if he ended up the new villain/scum character role p148 there is nothing likeable about him

this line is killing me "Shen Qingqiu was astoundingly oblivious to the fact that, thanks to the divine wingman abilities of his useless teammate, Ming Fan, Luo BInghe's favor has again risen to a new high" p.150

Oh god, he's in Luo Binghe's dream world. I am so nervous for this. p. 152

Dang. Why so many deductions for failure -1000 is a LOT for him p154

okay but this dream subplot is feeding my theory that Shen Qingqiu is switching character roles from villain to Love Interest p155

Oh no :( not his childhood bullies p160

omg and now his mom's death p161

Shen Qingqiu has been taking a constant beating for 164 pages- how is he not dead p164

LOL Shen Qingqiu really said "i'm not paid enough for this emotional labour" p167

Also Shen Qingqiu "I finished my friendship performance; I can finally leave work now" p169 what a vibe

Even the Dream Demon Lord is over how much Luo Binghe talks about Shen Qingqiu (p172)

uuuugh the foreshadowing RE: if you don't learn the demon path and the seal breaks you are basically fucked p.173

You tell that demon, Luo Binghe! RE: "right now, you are discussing terms with me, and you are free to say anything...but if you harm Shizun, any agreement is void!" p177

LOL "Aura of Badassery" p177

Shen Qingqiu after a very bad no good series of days "pls I dont want to see you omg leave me alone I am v tired" p179 this guy can't catch a break

The dichotomy of Shen Yuan acting in this though. Outward: I definitely can handle this. Inward: I'm so fucking scared, I do not got this. Is so real p180

Shen Qingqiu "I want this kid to remain optimistic and feel positive with his heritage (so he does not turn evil and mass murder me and everyone else)"Luo Binghe "I am going to be the strongest of strong possible so that I can protect Shen Qingqiu" p182

Oh gods, not him asking him to move in with him (to basically have a servant but like Luo Binghe has just had his entire life changed) p185

okay so age check- suddenly he's 15??? I thought this kid was 14 like 3 days ago?? p186

Points to Shen Yuan though for noting that how Luo Binghe was being treated was child abuse. p188

YAY! He's going to train with Meng Mo (also it made me laugh at how pissed Meng Mo is about not having the teacher title) p190

That's all for this chapter!

next one aiming for tomorrow :D

[azures-bazar]

What a Party 

A happy (and long) one shot ! .... based on real events lol

I needed to write some happy stuff, especially considering the overall mess happening in France right now (you know, riots, overall strikes, arrogant politicians voicing their hate on common folk...) :')

I tried my best to make it short, but there were too many things to be said ! There's a part filled with some "I love you" quotes. Please excuse my mistakes, you already know about my very peculiar writing schedule... and my weird English, lol

Arthur Morgan x GenderNeutralReader 

Word count : 3.5k

Short summary : Let’s be honest : you’re drunk. And Arthur, being a little less drunk than you during Sean’s return party, really hopes he can tell you how much he loves you tonight. 

A/Note : Arthur’s tent has got some flaps !

Tags : chapter 2, soft, alcohol, you’re drunk, Arthur’s drunk, Sean’s return party, Arthur loves you, the ground is moving, soft, nausea, cigarette, drunk behaviour, Hosea being a dad, ring dang doo

"Got a hole in the middle, and it's split in two !"

You kept singing along with the rest of the gang, holding your whiskey bottle in your right hand and a cigarette in the other. You could not recall how many bottles you already had the opportunity to gulp down, being dragged by Sean into a drinking contest. You knew about your upcoming fate, so did he. You were supposed to be on guard duty by sunrise, which was going to be complicated considering the amount of alcohol your body had to evacuate overnight. 

"And that's what ya call the ring dang doo !"

You could easily recall that the gang was not often in such a great mood. You had been a member of the Van Der Linde gang for about a decade, having been around since your mid-teens after Dutch and Hosea had found you struggling with the law following a fight you had with another kid, who happened to be a sheriff’s son. Hosea had used his scamming skills to pretend you were his child and that he had been looking around the area after you ran away following a minor dispute. The sheriff believed that story well enough, and this event marked your official induction into the gang. 

In ten years, you had seen the gang’s ups and downs. You had witnessed Arthur grieving his son, Bessie Matthews’ passing, the arrival and death of new members, the birth of the very first gang’s child, John’s departure and return a little less than a year later… and you took part to the Blackwater incident. Arthur had begged Dutch not to let you participate to it, wanting to take your place instead, believing things were not going to go according to his plan. Indeed, Morgan was right, and you left Blackwater with numerous wounds on your arms and a rather tiny hole on your calf after being shot multiple times. 

You and Arthur were close, very close. Ever since a few months, to say the least. Anyone could easily tell he had a soft spot for you prior the Blackwater ferry heist, even you could notice how different he was when you were around. Arthur was good at hiding his feelings behind a rather stern and grumpy face, often looking away whenever your eyes would meet his, turning shades darker each time he would be greeted with a smile. Neither you nor him had ever made a first move towards the other, which was frustrating to the eyes of the girls who openly voiced their discontent. 

"These two are made for each other and won’t even talk !" Karen often sighed 

"Isn’t that romantic ? Two souls, so in love… yet unable to communicate !" Mary-Beth would smile

"It ain’t romantic, it’s stupid."

And despite not openly voicing your feelings, Arthur was very good at making you feel adored. Your tent was right next to his, he would often bring you some coffee in the morning, share a meal with you, discuss about arts, landscapes and plants before moving forward. Such a brawny and menacing-looking man talking about the beauty of some flowers never ceased to surprise you ! As Hosea would often say : Arthur was not as dumb as he looked, hiding a high intelligence, often being taken for an idiot by many people. His low self-esteem was the main reason why he never openly showed how smart he was, and how much he cared about you. He was too shy and not confident enough to move forwards, but could easily talk about everything he liked with you without having the feeling of being looked down as a random intimidating outlaw with no brains.

He had awkwardly brought you a bouquet one day after collecting a few flowers nearby, hiding it behind his back while his face was as red as a tomato, stuttering a few words you could barely understand due to his heavy Southern accent and low voice. After he gave you that bouquet, Arthur proceeded retrieving to his tent and hide his red face behind his hands while you kept his gift in a vase near your cot, humming the scent of these flowers for days while the girls had clapped his move. 

"One big step forward !" Tilly had exclaimed 

That night, everything was possible, every door was opened for you to make a first move towards Arthur. You were drunk, laughing, dancing, displaying a rather eccentric side to the rest of the gang which had undoubtedly caught Morgan’s eye as he had stopped drinking his beer while sitting at the table with Bill and John to look at you. He watched Uncle wrap his arm around your shoulders as you sang with him louder and louder, believing you would loose your voice at some point. But you kept singing, not even bothering about what was going on around you, enjoying the moment as you somewhat believed it would not last long enough. 

Hosea had tried dissuading you from drinking so much, using his fatherly tone to refrain you… but you did not care about his warnings. You were aware of the consequences of your sudden desire to drink this much, knowing about your upcoming state early in the morning when you would have to patrol around the hideout with your riffle while enduring a rather heavy headache and an endless nausea. It was not your first time being drunk and certainly not be the last. Sean was back ! How many drinking contests you were about to have together ! Hosea was already excepting the worst to happen to you, knowing that being drunk was quick to make you unleash your child-self, and nobody wanted to have two children doing a drinking contest. 

"Easy, Y/N !" he sighed, looking at you gulping down your whiskey. "Leave some for the rest of us !"

"Don't worry, old man !" you smiled.

Dutch had switched his gramophone on, you spotted him dancing with Molly while Arthur danced with Mary-Beth, chuckling a little, glancing at you whenever he had the chance. He could easily tell that making you stand up would not be an excellent idea, watching you gulp down another beer after cheering with Karen who sang on Sean’s lap. Arthur’s vision was getting a little blurry with time, he also had drank too much. A little less than you did, but enough for him to have some serious issues walking straight from a tent to another. Mary-Beth left him to get a drink with Tilly, Arthur approached you and smiled. 

"Ain’t that a nice nighty night !" he exclaimed, placing his large hands on your shoulders 

"Damn, Morgan’s already drunk !" Uncle exclaimed 

"Nah, I ain’t drunk !"

"Yes you are !" 

"I ain’t drunk, you old fool !" 

Your vision was so blurry, you would loose balance even while sitting down ! Your hand instinctively reached his, causing Karen to clap her hands and Pearson to smile. Neither you nor Arthur would have done something like this being sober ! 

"Alright, maybe a lil’ tipsy." Arthur laughed

"Good lord..." Hosea sighed, leaving his seat

On occasions, you would only touch each other when you were stitching up your wounds. One day, your hand had accidentally brushed Arthur’s, which caused him to awkwardly smile and stay petrified for a minute before hiding in his tent. He had wrote a three pages long journal entry, expressing how sweet the tip of your fingers felt on his skin, how unexpected it was, and how much he would have wanted to catch your hand at that time, but was too shy to try it. A third of Arthur’s journal was filled with entries about you… and you would probably never get to read them as he always kept his sketchbook to close. 

"Well, ain’t that a great move !" Karen exclaimed 

"We’re literally doing nothin’." Arthur grumbled while unconsciously massaging your shoulders as you let out a loud moan escape your lips

"No, you really ain’t !" John shouted from the poker table

"We ain’t doing nothin’ !" you answered. "We ain’t !… Keep goin’, Arthur…" 

"Sure thing, Y/N."

The sound of Javier’s guitar mixed with Dutch’s gramophone and the gang singing old ballads created a very peculiar symphony you enjoyed, singing to yourself while looking up and down, still holding onto Arthur’s hand. You could hear him sing above your head, mumbling a few words whenever the lyrics were unknown to him. You laughed so often, nearly crying at Sean’s jokes, unable to keep breathing at times. This moment was a fine one, especially knowing that Arthur was standing behind you. 

At some point, Morgan helped you up to make you walk a little around camp, feeling the need to take you away from the others. Despite being drunk himself, Arthur still appeared to be self-conscious and was aware of the surroundings, knowing that not everyone was going to celebrate Sean’s return, that some of you were on guard duty and others, like little Jack and Abigail, for instance, were already asleep. While you were singing and, unfortunately, ended up throwing up a few feet away from Kieran’s sleeping spot, Arthur would be looking around, gently patting your back. The worst was probably the fact that you regretted nothing. 

"You’re alright there ?" he chuckled 

"Nah, I ain’t alright !" 

"You’ll be alright, then !" 

You sighed at Arthur’s sarcastic answer. It took you a few seconds to calm yourself down and stand up again, Arthur firmly held you by the shoulders in order to keep you on your feet. Your balance was weak, and Morgan’s one was certainly not any better as you would zigzag while making your way back to camp after straying away. Your common drunkenness did not make you notice that Dutch was supervising the two of you from his tent and had dragged Hosea into this rather peculiar activity. They kept judging Arthur’s overall behaviour, finding it a little too childish, especially knowing who Arthur was and what his tasks usually were. Collecting debts, robbing shops and banks, sometimes beating people up… the list was longer than that, indeed.

"Remind me how old Arthur is, Hosea…" Dutch muttered, smoking his cigar 

"Thirty-six." Hosea sighed. "Our boy’s thirty-six." 

They watched you making your way back to the poker table to join John and Bill who were probably as drunk as you were. You could not sit down, clinging onto Arthur’s shirt as he calmly tried pushing you to one of the barrels for you to rest your legs a little. Morgan’s vision was a little less blurry than yours, and your wellbeing had to be put before his. He was aware of how drunk the two of you were and was not going to miss the opportunity to openly show his love to you ! 

"Nah, can’t sit down !" you said, looking at the ground who was literally moving like a river. "The ground’s movin’ !" 

"The ground’s movin’ ?" Arthur chuckled, suddenly looking down. "Holly shit, John, Bill !" 

"What ?" John wheezed, tilting his head

"You ain’t gonna believe it, but the ground’s movin’ !" 

"Movin’ ?" Bill’s eyes widened. "You sure ?"

While looking down, Bill fell from his seat and bursted out laughing, unable to get up anymore. Hosea grumbled as Arthur grabbed you by the waist in order to lead you to the domino table for you to get some quiet… but your destination was quite unsure. The two of you kept tripping, you laughed loudly enough. Wild animals were probably running away from your location at the moment. As you passed by Jack and Abigail’s tent, Arthur grabbed your arm and rubbed it, chuckling like a mischievous child, placing his finger before his smiling mouth. 

"Shhhhhhh !" 

"Aye ! Shhhhhhh !" you responded, mimicking him 

Arthur grabbed your hand as you tiptoed towards the back of Pearson’s wagon, grabbing a beer and drinking it together before leading you to the domino table on which you decided to sit, kicking your legs back and forth. Arthur moved a little forward, placing his hands on your thighs. Despite your blurry vision, you could easily tell Arthur was giving you his absolutely adorable puppy look, along with a charming smile. He was certainly about to ask you something… or was going to faint due to his overall state of drunkenness.  His face said it all. 

"Hey, Y/N." he sheepishly said

"Yeah ?" 

"Can… can I steal a kiss...?" 

"Been waiting for that for so long ! Sure you c…-" 

You had no time to finish your sentence, Arthur bent and dropped a sweet but quick kiss on your lips, stepping back a little. He had done it ! He had finally moved forward and kissed you ! What an exploit for such a shy and not confident man ! Arthur felt butterflies flying in his belly, he was turning shades darker just by looking at you. You were so amazing, so gorgeous, so sweet ! He wanted to cup your adorable face in his hands and cover it with kisses, but his rational side was still in control and forbid him making another step forward. 

"Wait." you whimpered, somewhat unhappy about such a short kiss

You did not allow him to step further away, forcing him to bend one more time by holding him by the collar. You were seeing him twice, unable to understand where you had to look in order to return his kiss. Your heart was melting, and in no way could you just stay here doing nothing ! You had waited for so long for Arthur to make such a huge step forward and, despite the condition you both were in, drunk but somewhat conscious about your actions, you were not able to let go of him. You did, however, notice that Sean and Karen were standing somewhere near you. 

"I love you…" Arthur desperately mumbled, feeling a sudden freedom invade him. "I love you ! I love you !"

"So do I, Arthur…! I love you too ! So much, so bloody much !" 

"I love you ! I love you ! And I’ll repeat it ’til the end ‘cause tomorrow I’ll be shy again ! I love you !" 

"Oh my god, this is happening !" Tilly cheered. "Mary-Beth ! Mary-Beth ! They’re saying they love each other !" 

"No way !" Mary-Beth answered, clapping her hands 

At this moment, what was surrounding the two of you did not matter anymore. You had completely forgotten about the fact that you were being watched and closed your eyes. Arthur moved forwards, leading you to an incredibly passionate kiss you wanted to be endless. You were perfectly conscious about what you were doing, and were proud. Happy, and proud. You could feel Arthur’s hands move behind your back, your legs spread wide for his body to touch yours. Even Sean had stopped courting Karen for a moment to witness such a peculiar event ! You and Arthur were kissing each other !

Your bodies fused into one being, one entity. So warm, so beautiful, so sweet… something good could come out of the two of you, something amazing. Mary-Beth was right, the two of you were soulmates. You deserved each other. Your kiss was so intense, so exciting that you almost forgot about all these people watching you. Things escalated quickly as Arthur pushed you on the table to lean above you, causing Hosea to run towards your direction and separate the two of you before Arthur or yourself would start stripping down due to the overall excitement this single kiss had triggered. 

"Easy there, fellers !" Hosea said, helping you standing up. "Do I need to remind you where you are ?" 

"No." Arthur shook his head, holding himself onto the table. "Sorry, ‘Sea." 

"You two should get some sleep. It’s getting late and Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning." 

"Can I sleep with Arthur then ?" you asked with a rather childish tone 

"What ?"

Arthur turned his head to you with a large smile while Hosea remained a little surprised at your sudden request. Being drunk made you loose your actual adult filter, words escaped your mouth without you being able to control them. Indeed, you never needed anyone’s approval, especially not for something as casual as sleeping in someone’s tent ! You had done this a numerous amount of times with John without even asking Dutch, but felt the need to inform Hosea about your current desire not to finish this night alone. 

"Sorry, Y/N." Hosea chuckled, gently patting your shoulder. "Why do you ask ? You’re a grown adult, you don’t need my approval for that." 

"Let’s take it as a yes, then." Arthur smiled. "I’ll go get the bed ready !"

"It ain’t wise. Really ain’t." 

Noticing the three of you talking, Dutch came closer to you to cut out a potential argument. Hosea was shaking his head, not wanting the two of you to sleep in the same tent because of the overall noise you would potentially cause. Hosea had always been quite protective towards you, being genuinely attached to your overall personality and sweet behaviour which often led him to feel the need to watch over you, especially when things were not going well… or when you were drunk. 

"Dutch !" Arthur said with the exact same childish tone you used. "Can Y/N sleep in my tent ? Hosea says it ain’t wise." 

"Why the hell are you asking that ?" Dutch laughed, not hiding his surprise. "Of course they can !"

"Dutch, I don’t think that’s reasonable…" Hosea sighed, covering his face with his palm. "Y/N’s on guard duty in the morning. They’re drunk and might end up throwing up on each other all night long." 

"Let those kids be, Old Girl." 

Hosea rolled eyes and sighed. Leaving two drunk fools sleep in the same tent that night was probably not wise, but what could he say ? Arthur held your hand and led you to his tent, carefully closing its flaps after placing a few empty buckets underneath his bed in case of an emergency. Arthur took off your boots and suspenders, proceeding to do the same before laying down with you. there was no much space for the two of you to properly fit in, so Arthur held you close to him while you buried your head into the crook of his neck. His breath was calming, especially considering the fact that Karen and Sean were actually having fun in John’s tent at the moment. What a party ! 

Surprisingly enough, your night was rather quiet. You woke up with a heavy headache, calmly looking down at Arthur who was sleeping like a log. However, as soon as sensed you were no longer in bed with him, he whined and stretched a little, opening his eyes to look at you. His eyelids were heavy enough for him to grumble as he could see you struggle putting on boots on, blinded by the only ray of sunlight which passed between the tent’s flaps. Arthur rolled over a little on his cot and reached out to your hand, leading you to blush and sit near him. 

"‘Bout yesterday…" you sheepishly mumbled. "I… well I…" 

"I love you, Y/N… I didn’t forget anythin’… I didn’t… and I still love you…" 

"I love you too. Now, get back to sleep."

You were so thankful to be able to remember what had happened last night ! Arthur smiled a little, your free hand caressed his cheek. You dropped a soft kiss on his forehead as soon as you noticed he was drifting back into sleep. You wanted to join him, burry yourself into his embrace, roll into his blanket and remain with him all day long ! You analysed Arthur’s chiseled cheekbones, his sleepy smile, his little scars, his beard. You envied his eyelashes, so long and furnished. His beautiful green orbs were moving underneath his eyelids, he was already dreaming ! 

"Y/N !" Javier shouted from the outside. "We’re on guard duty, come on !"

You sighed, dropping another kiss on Arthur’s forehead while replacing the blanket above his shoulders, looking at him nuzzling his head against his pillow while whining a little. How sweet he was, how angelic he looked ! You left his tent and headed to the entrance of Horseshoe Overlook, rubbing your head a numerous amount of times, struggling not to fall asleep for hours until Sean came to replace you, instructing you to drink some whiskey to calm your heavy migraine. You and Arthur often met while taking care of camp chores, smiling at each other despite your overall pain. Both of you had strong headaches almost incapacitating you, but you kept moving. What a night you had ! When the sun went down, instead of heading inside your tent, Arthur dragged you to his one again… and you could not say no. 

It had taken him a few drinks to finally move forwards and tell you how much he loved you. He was not going to let go, and neither would you. What a party you had ! Your feelings were blooming, burning you from in inside, despite your increasing exhaustion. You nuzzled against Arthur’s chest after the sun went down, recalling the events of the other night with a large smile. These numerous drinks had helped you moving forward, you would not be resting into his embrace otherwise. 

Oh, what a party it was, indeed.

[sluckythewizard]

BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary

"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.

Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.

One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.

Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.

The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.

Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?

A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.

But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.

As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.

The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.

Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.

"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.

"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.

But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.

"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.

"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."

Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.

"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?

Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...

"Hey, are you okay?"

The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.

"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.

But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?

The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.

The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.

"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"

"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.

The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.

It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.

Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.

Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"

Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.

"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"

"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.

"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.

"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."

"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.

While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.

"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.

The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.

The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.

A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.

That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.

The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.

Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.

It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.

It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.

Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?

The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.

"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.

Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.

Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.

He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.

Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.

A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.

It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.

Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.

Like a mouse to a snake.

This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.

The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?

Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.

His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.

A STARTLING RINGING;

Splits the moment,

Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,

As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.

Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.

"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"

Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.

Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"

Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.

"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.

Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .

As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.

The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.

"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.

"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."

The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.

"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."

"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.

He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

"Down By The River" - Neil Young & The International Harvesters, Pier 84, New York City, September 10, 1985

As I'm sure you've heard, Neil Young will release the third volume of his Archives project in just over a month. Weighing in at 17 discs (plus five blu-rays), it's a ridiculously large collection, with dozens of unreleased tracks. I've heard the whole dang thing via a promo stream and Vol. III will make Neil fanatics very very happy. And yet! It wouldn't be a Neil Young situation if there weren't some very questionable choices made ... As always, I've got quibbles! Quibbles, I say!

For one thing, the International Harvesters era ... Most of what shows up on Vol. III has already been released on A Treasure, well over a decade ago. The additions are great — a gorgeous live version of "Interstate" with a fiery electric solo from Neil and a sweet rendition of "Misfits." But Neil should've added this legendary "Down By The River" to the mix (in fact, he seemed to be considering it). It's a truly insane performance, with Old Black moving unexpectedly into almost Sonic Youth-y zones during the long instrumental sections. Neil duels magnificently with Nashville session pianist Hargus "Pig" Robbins (who you know from classic recordings with Dylan, Lightfoot, Parton and countless others), taking things to unreal heights. Over the rainbow, indeed.

And hey, one good "Down By The River" from the 1980s deserves another, right? Here's Neil and the International Harvesters doing it about a year before Pier 84 down in New Orleans — notable not only for its awesomeness, but also for its rare spoken intro, wherein Neil evocatively sets the scene:

I'd like to sing you a song about a guy who had a lot of trouble controlling himself. He let the dark side come through a little too bright. One afternoon he took a little stroll down through a field and through a forest, till he could hear the water runnin' along there. And he met his woman down there. And he told her she'd been cheatin' on him one time too many. And he reached down in his pocket and he pulled a little revolver out. Said "Honey, I hate to do this but you pushed me too far."

By the time he got back to town he knew he had to answer to somebody pretty quick. He went back to his house, he sat down on the front porch. About two hours later the sheriff's car pulled up out front. It started sinking in on him just what he'd done. The sheriff walked up the sidewalk. He said "Come with me son, I want to ask you a few questions." As he heard the jail door shut behind him he sat down on a little wooden bench — and he looked out of the door through those bars at this kind of wimpy looking sheriff out there. He started getting mad again and he realized what he'd done. There wasn't nothing he could do about it now though. He just sat down and put his head down and started thinking to himself — I'm all by myself here, there's nobody on my side...

Because I care deeply about you, there's another little bonus in the above download, too — a very early "Razor Love," also recorded live with the International Harvesters in 1984. Just wait 'til you hear the synth-pop version included on Vol. III!

[cosmos-coma]

Blood and Vengeance - Part 1

A/N: I've had this story saved in my drafts for a while now and i think about it every dang day so here it is! Finally!

Pairing: Dettlaff x Reader

Words: 1332

Summary: You answer an ad for a housekeeping job at the estate of the two new mysterious visitors in town, despite strange rumors circulating around town you know the pay makes it well worth it. However, when you arrive it seems to be part housekeeping and part "nanny" as you're tasked with getting the dark-brooding Dettlaff used to humans. surely this will go smoothly, right?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7| Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 (Final)

__________________

Your town had always been a sleepy place as far as you could remember. Small markets, rarely any visitors, and relatively little commotion as far as you were concerned; but maybe that's what attracted the two mysterious men to your tiny town. 

Word of their arrival spread quickly and quietly through the streets of the town, warping the way all rumors do. Some said they just seemed like two standard rich men. One was pleasant, always carrying a bag of herbs and odd-smelling concoctions, and the other didn’t seem to like anyone and was strangely intense for such a quiet man. However, in no time those rumors faded out, instead replaced by speculation of criminal pasts, and fake identities- some even went so far as to swear they had seen them turn into bats when the veil of night fell.

Either direction the rumors went you found yourself growing more and more curious the longer you stared at the posted ad on the noticeboard. 

It said they were looking for a few workers; mostly gardeners and people to help renovate- neither of which you knew how to do well enough, but you did think you could settle into the housekeeping role well. It looked like it paid nicely and you’d get to have a room at the manor as well. It was bound to be long hours and being on call at a moment's notice, but soon enough you should be able to save up a small fortune and live your life quietly on your own time. 

You nodded, determined in your decision, and went straight there to apply, despite the way your nerves grew with each step. 

As you walked up to the estate It’s multiple levels loomed over you and blocked out the low-hanging sun. You pushed open the iron-wrought gate which creaked with age as you closed it behind you and walked through the freshly tilled gardens. The home had been worn by decades of neglect and paint flecked off in patches here and there revealing an older color underneath. 

“I guess they must’ve already found gardeners” you commented as you made your way up to the door. A deep breath steadied your nerves long enough to lift the heavy door knocker, clacking it against the old wood twice. 

It was quiet for a short while before the sound of footsteps suddenly came from behind the door as it was pulled open with ease by an older-looking gentleman. His hair and sideburns were a sooty gray and his eyes held bags beneath them that betrayed the exhaustion his pleasant smile tried to hide. “Ah, you must be here to apply for one of the posted jobs?” He held his hand out for you to shake. “Emiel Regis, it’s a pleasure.” 

You put on your best smile, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself, “Yes, um- I was hoping the housekeeping position was still open..?”

An amusing thought seemed to cross him as he glanced you over once more, barely noticeable if you weren’t watching. He nodded and ushered you in right away, into the darkened entryway. “Of course. Come in, come in- I might as well show you around if you're going to be working here,” he said, leading the way.

Two large staircases curved their way out and upward and met at the next level. Rugs lined each step and the hallway before you, worn to a small degree but mostly dulled with dirt, dust, and age. The wood lining the walls could use a layer of polish, but you were surprised to see what decent shape the interior was in. 

Mostly the interior just showed aging, from the dimmed dirty windows to the cobwebs in the corners. “You’ll have to pardon the mess while we get everything put back to its former glory. The house Is big, but please don’t let it become daunting to you. I-” He paused his steps and his words to listen to the quiet house for a moment before he continued. 

“Well if I have to be frank. This job is in part a regular housekeeping job, I assure you. But it is also because I would like to have someone to keep an eye on my dear friend Dettlaff.” He said, glancing back at you before he continued giving you a tour of the house. “I-I promise it’s nothing strange. Ah- but that probably only made it sound stranger, didn’t it?” 

“Very much so..” you replied, laughing lightly, but still holding your satchel close as you went from room to room. A few of the rooms were more finished than the others- the bedrooms and the kitchens for example- others seemed to be more of storage for extra materials. 

“I apologize… I had no intention of making you feel uncomfortable. It’s just- Well, how do I put this… Dettlaff is not good with people. At all.” Regis huffed in mild annoyance. Because Dettlaff was such a good friend, Regis could only acknowledge his shortcomings for what they were. Dangerous liabilities. “He feels far too much, but I think small introductions could be good for him; someone who can pepper him with how people work socially” He further explained, waving a hand of his with nails that were just a bit longer than normal. 

This was all starting to get a little bit weird… but you still couldn't deny this kind of pay, plus room and board. “So you want me to be a sort of… glorified nanny for your friend?” You asked, increasing your pace to step side by side with the older man.

“Well, when you put it like that…” he began to mumble, but you quickly interjected. 

“I’ll do it. When can I start?” you stepped in front of him and held out your hand to shake on it, causing the older man to stop short and raise his eyebrows in surprise.

“My, my… you certainly seem like a rather tenacious creature, don’t you? Though I think that could prove you well in dealing with him…” He smiled that friendly smile again and shook your hand. “If you’re up to it you can start tomorrow. I’ll create a list of daily duties and It’ll be waiting for you in the room we’ve set aside for you. We can discuss your pay after your first day, does that arrangement work for you miss Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with nothing but an earnest expression and kind eyes. 

You smiled as you nodded, hefting your bag further up on your shoulder as you were led back to the front door and seen off by the older man. 

You were quiet on your walk home, quickly scampering through the streets before the sun fully fell and the more malicious folks came out for the evening. As soon as the door clicked closed you shouted in excitement and did a little dance. You weren’t even a hundred percent sure where all the confidence had come from, but you didn’t care! A huge grin spread across your face as you breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Oh, shit, I’ve got to get packing…” you thought aloud as you sprung yourself up and began pulling things together. For once you were thankful that you had only been renting in this little town. It felt like ages ago that you had walked away from your childhood home to try and make a life for yourself and for once it seemed to actually be working out. You didn’t have too much to pack up, mostly books, clothes, and a few little knickknacks you had picked up over the years, but each one held a small special place with you. 

A small smile painted on your expression as you put the last of your things away in a bag and gave the old place one last look around. 

Tomorrow would change the trajectory of the rest of your life for you, you could feel it. And you had never been more ready. 

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[tohisprettyc00l]

That doesn't matter, silly! Collector comforting reader

A/n: This was requested on wattpad but I can't find the request anymore also

Collector is still trapped in the wall mirror thingy still.

Tears pooled in your eyes as you stared at the paper. 18/26, mostly right, but that doesn't matter, it's still not passing. Your grip tightened on the test, crumpling the sides. You tried your best, you studied as much as you could, yet it wasn't enough. With slightly trembling hands you neatly folded the paper and put it in your pocket. Soon your teacher dismissed everyone. You slowly got out of your seat and walked to the door.

You decided to go to your best friend,The Collector, they always know how to cheer you up. You soon arrived at the entrance to where The Collector resided. Or I guess he was more trapped there, but still. As soon as you opened the door a figure appeared beside you. "Y/N! You're back from school!" The Collector happily exclaimed, "Why do you still go there? It's like the most boring place everrr." "I kinda have to." You replied. "So what do you wanna do today?" "Is it okay if we just talk today? I've had a long day." "Oh, sure." He said concerned. You walk to a wall and sit down.

"So what cha' what to talk about?" They asked. You thought for a second, "What's going on with you body?" "Very specific." He teased, you rolled your eyes. "You asked what I wanted to talk about, this is what I want to talk about. Like do you have clothes on or is it just part of your body? Like is your hat now part of your head." He shrugged. "It's hard to tell, I can change the shape of my body and it feels the same, but at the same time I don't know how I would tell." "Fair enough." You said. "My turn!" The Collector suddenly said. "Hm?" " To ask a question!" He pause and put a hand on his chin, "Why are you sad?" He tilted his head. "What no- I'm not sad, just a little tired." "You can't lie to me. You can talk to me though." You turn away from them. They suddenly appear in front of you. "Y/n, you said you've had a 'long day'. What made it feel long? Or however you'd phrase that?"

You sighed and decided to answer, "A history test." You grumbled. Collector tilted their head at your answer. "A history test? What do you mean?" "A failed one. Like really badly." "Well I've been around for a good chunk of history let me see it!" You pulled out the test and showed to him. You looked away in shame when you heard laughing. A frown tugged your lips downwards. Of course they would laugh! They knew all of it by heart and you failed miserably.

"I don't mean to be rude, like at all. But is this really what you're upset about? Because if this is a joke it's a dang good one!" You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" "I think about all this stuff like once or twice a decade! It changed the Boiling Isle sure, but it's not really that important to know!" "But my history teacher says 'you need to know History to not repeat it.'" "Not to repeat being the first to start a coven that wasn't one of the main nine?" You look back at your paper, and yeah a good chunk of it was just small details to the main point. "Listen your feelings are valid and all, but trust me when I say this isn't that important." The collector said constantly moving around. "Yeah, that's true I'm just being stupid.," You said wiping away a tear with your sleeves

"Hey, Woah woah woah, hold on. You're not stupid for being sad. That's like one of the main emotions. Or something?" He paused, "I'm not great at comforting people but um, be sad if you need to, but also don't place your self-worth on a test." You chuckled. "'You're bad at comfort?' No kidding." You booped his nose, or more just touched the wall where his nose was, "But you are right. This isn't really important in the grand scheme of things." "Though, if you want me to, I can just give you the answers if you want me to." "If you mean in a study way then sure I guess." "Studying is so boring butttt if it's to help you, let's study."

[gisellelx]

Twilight Advent Calendar, Day 7

Dec. 7 - Choose one Twilight couple (or an AU ship) and tell us about an argument they've had. How did they resolve it in the end?

Masterpost/Prompts

I'm still fighting with this dang thing and have been for about a year. I was hoping to get it all the way unraveled with the help of a deadline but I did not. So here's a teaser of the surface of this fight. They are fighting about something that's actually two layers deeper than this, but it's going to take me a hot second to link this all up, apparently. ---

from "Yellows," Chapter 9 of Cien Años de Compañerismo

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They hadn’t talked about this. They hadn’t needed to; vampires couldn’t reproduce sexually. She knew where he stood with respect to the legality of a medical procedure that he considered vital to his ability to care for his patients; he knew—and she thought, respected!—that he could never fathom what it was like to carry a pregnancy. But suddenly here they were, diametrically opposed.

Edward. It had only taken his conversation with Edward, and then they had been thrust into this nightmare. Always Edward. His weakest point; his fatal flaw. If Carlisle made a mistake, it was always for Edward. His rashest decisions—always with Edward in mind.

Except for you, her mind replied at once, and it was this reminder that softened her long enough to really look at him.

Her husband looked—anguished. If it were possible for him to somehow be paler, gaunter than he already was, he was that and then some. The light in his eyes that she loved, the playful side of him that he so rarely showed anyone but her, was utterly extinguished.

His eyes, darker than she’d seen them in a long while, cast around the nursery anxiously. He didn’t fully see it the first time, she knew. He took in the crib, the changing table, the diaper stacker, the blankets and rattles, the delicate lace and ornate woodwork mixed with the practicalities of size zero diapers and nipple pads and spit-up rags.

“You’ve done…a great deal,” he said finally.

No thanks to your overwhelming support, she wanted to say, but she did not. It was enough, she knew, to stand here, staring at him. Not comforting him, not taking him into her arms, not doing any of the things he’d come to rely on from her. She didn’t need to be cold to him; she needed only not to be warm.

“Well someone needed to do something.”

His brow furrowed. “Esme, I am doing everything.”

“You“—she choked. He was trying to figure it out, still. Still. Trying to get their daughter-in-law to see reason. Trying to make all this work, this room, this hope, utterly unnecessary. “Carlisle Cullen, you are still trying to end this.”

“I can’t end this!!!” he roared so loudly the window rattled a little, startling them both. The dark eyes went wide, and then her husband’s face disappeared into his palms. He had large hands, Carlisle, and he could bury all his features into them, leaving Esme staring at only the roots of his uncharacteristically untidy hair.

“Even if I wanted to, even if she wanted me to I couldn’t,” came the plaintive voice a moment later. “It—he—that—is growing too quickly. She’s so emaciated I can’t be certain but she measured at about twenty-six weeks this morning and twenty-eight this afternoon. Even if we were all agreed on what to do, even if I had decades of experience with this procedure—which I do not, may I remind you, try as you might to build me up as a monster in your head—I’d just as likely kill her anyway. There’s no target. I don’t know what I’m dealing with. I’m blind. And you…” he gulped. “You’re angry with me for what you think I’m doing but Esme, I can’t do anything at all.”

The repeated words rode on a quavering intake of breath as he locked her eyes: “I can’t do anything at all.”

She meant to take a step toward him, she thought, but her feet took her one step further away.