#i knew about my dad long before
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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when characters have poofy messy but otherwise straight hair, i like to headcanon that their hair is actually naturally wavy/curly and they just don't know how to/don't care to take proper care of it. bc irl that is often the case (speaking from personal experience)
#eliot posts#*looks back at my younger self who didn't know their hair was wavy just thought it was Bad*#i was fuckin. walking around with hair poofed up like a mix between a founding father and a startled cat#and with a halo of frizz at all times#older relatives would call it nappy or ratty and suggest i cut it off or get a relaxer treatment done on it#(sidenote a bit ago i learned that apparently ''nappy'' is usually a racialized term tho i myself am white)#fascinating that they knew that straightening treatments would ''fix'' my hair but did not actually know my hair was wavy#i wore my hair real long back then too so it was constantly tangled lol#memories of being a kid and my dad having to basically corner me to brush my hair in the morning before school#my mother would bitch about my hair being too long when i was a kid and sometimes TRICK ME into getting it cut shoulder length#but then when i was an older teen and wanted it cut real short she FORBADE ME from going any shorter than a bob???#so i just left it super long til i moved out and then chopped it all off and sold it to a wigmaker for a $300 profit lmao#now that it's short tho the wave pattern is very minimal#part bc of the way i style it part bc it's just a 2b wave pattern so you need a bit of length before the waves start getting really defined#anyway like. looks at catra and eda. let me get u some good conditioner and a wide toothed comb bby
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@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D
Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)
Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…
Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious
And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:
All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3
(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#jinora#wow. nia drew a canon character? what is this?? who was I replaced by???#but joking aside. a small explanation for this crack ship#originally it was me editing my timeline and realising that Kumisai would be around 14/15 during book 4. the same age as Jinora#so my mind immediately went 👀👀👀 and I decided to go for it#since in sotrl I sorta implied Jinora had a gay awakening by watching Suiren. so.. why not go all out and make her another baby queer?#no offence to Kai. what they had was rather cute tbh. but it felt kinda out of nowhere and just added for the sake of parental drama#plus she was a young girl meeting someone her age for the first time. of course she got a crush#doesn’t mean she has to stick with it you know?#anyway. as for how they would meet. Midori could introduce them :D#Kumisai is Daneli’s daughter. who’s a friend of Summiya’s. who’s Zaheer’s sister. who’s Midori’s uncle. who’s friends with Jinora#and spirits know Jinora deserves to act her age a little more often. she has way too many responsibilities on her shoulders#so maybe Midori would think that a friend her age would do her some good#and don’t even try to tell me these two wouldn’t be absolutely adorable puppy crushing on each other. look how cute Jinora turned out here#might be the first time I’ve drawn her? not sure. maybe I did before but it was A LONG time ago. 2019 ish#but okay. enough rambling about Jinora. back to Kumisai#I don’t really have too many headcanons about her yet. but she’s probably rather happy and carefree#having a large support system as a result of being raised communally#I think she considers Daneli her mom and the others are her aunties. auntie Shezan in particular is a notoriously bad influence :)#and maybe one day she’d get to meet her bio mom. but only if that’s something both of them want. not sure yet#I feel like she’s rather disconnected from her water tribe heritage since everyone around her is Earth Kingdom. save Phailin who’s half FN#but she still has small hints of blue in her clothing. the colour matching her beautiful eyes. maybe she is curious about her bio dad a bit#since unlike with her bio mom no one knew him and can’t tell her anything. that’s bound to come as a natural curiosity at some point right?#maybe that can be part of her story when she’s an adult. trying to find her bio dad. but ultimately it doesn’t matter that much#because Daneli is her mom and the only parent she needs <3 I’m really just throwing out suggestions here to fill the tag space#kaaatttt come discuss all this stuff with me I waited all night for you to wake up >:) distract me from my grandma’s tv watching
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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Can't believe I forgot to tell this story but I went to a play party thing a couple weeks ago and was severely underdressed because the nature of the party was revealed neither in the announcement nor from hot enby friend (who invited me and didn't show til after close) but anyway the doors had just opened and I was holding my umbrella and looking for a place to put it, and since it was wet I didn't want to put it back in my shoulder bag, you know how it is. I had fallen in with a random person I met on Lex and a handful of other queers who were chatting and I commented somewhat absently, "I wonder if there was a coat check included in this renovation. I dunno what to do with this."
And the lesbian next to me looked at my too-big dickies jacket (someone's kink, I'm sure) and my general self (not so sure about that one) and said, somewhat jokingly, "well if you happen to be carrying a carabiner you could attach your umbrella to it and hook it to your bag strap."
I opened my mouth to say something like "I'm afraid I haven't assimilated that far into the culture yet" and then I remembered I've been carrying my keys on a carabiner since I moved out of my parents' house in 2012 and silently pulled them out of my pocket to a veritable explosion of enthusiastic cheers.
I walked around with my umbrella dangling and bumping into my knee for two hours, but I walked proudly.
#Long before I knew carabiners for keys was a lesbian thing my dad was commenting in concern about me using one#At the time I just blinked at him and said 'I leave things I carry all the time. This just makes more sense than a purse'#And he also with the Adhd went well I guess that's fair - I'm just concerned#We have a lady at work who wears her keys on her belt and she's a little... Confused#Anyway shoutout to dad you were right to be worried and also LOL#Mundane adventures#If you interact you love trans people
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i remember thinking in the shower one day “it sucks remembering a funny onision joke. bc like you cant tell anyone. bc its onision. fortunately i forgot. so win?
#i loooved onision as a kid. oh fun fact when i first used cai i think i had seen a post about him or something? bc i picked onision as the#first thing i messed with. maybe one day ill share but it ended with me calling him dad and him like tearing up and going i love you son#so dumb my fav thing to do when i first played with it was pretend to be like 6. and mess with william afton bots and try to get them to#kill me. tjis was before i knew you could swipe and regenerate messages so they were. absolutely awful sooo long.#i remember one i was telling will to get a divorce and i was like ‘you can not be married its called the vorce’ and he sort of ignored it#until he snapped and was like ‘ITS NOT CALLED THE VORCE YOU STUPID KID I SHOULD KILL YOU’#then i started using max. then i started playing seriously. life over#ummm. should i tag this with cai bc thats. all of the tags#well. theyre part of the post. so yes#simons spouting#characterai
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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Kinned Jim Kirk a lil too hard and now I have 500 million allergies
#I’m so annoyed about this#the worst part is the nurse bullied me sufficiently into taking my inhaler#but I just made her give me the more expensive one#and WHY is it so expensive.#why do I have to pay 60 dollars a month to breathe..#she was like. u absolutely need immunotherapy so#gonna stRt that next year and it’s gonna be thousands of more dollars#my dad keeps telling me to go to the derm but he doesn’t understand that I don’t WANT TO PAY#all this money#every time they find something new wrong with me#yesterday I was talking to a coworker who I knew did the shots#and he started talking about people with preexisting conditions and how things Should be more expensive for them#because why should the consumers pay or whatever#and I tried soooo hard#not to tell him to kill himself#he’s like SIXTY#SIR U DONT HAVE LONG BEFORE THATS YOU
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Buckle in folks i'm gonna talk about Lost Galaxy doing a shot for shot recreation of my favourite Gingaman scene and why i think PR missed the mark.
FIRST THINGS FIRST this scene goes for about 2 and a half minutes in Gingaman but is stripped back to about 50 seconds in LG. Gingaman gives this scene time to steep in its apprehension, it makes you hold your breath and WAIT. LG on the other hand is a rapid fire shot to the conclusion that leaves very little time to actually build up the emotion.
The first big cut we see is in how much time the big brothers are given to come into frame.
We LINGER on Hyuuga coming up over the hill (where as Mike gets about 0.5 of a second). He's blurry, out of focus, framed by his brother and BullRiot as he stumbles over the hill. I'd love to tell you what Mike is doing, but the way Leo is holding the Magna Sword is just not working for the shot. It obscures Mike for too long, in a moment where him appearing is meant to be the reward for everything we've just been through.
Both these guys have spent months being possessed/controlled by a vengeful alien and have only just regained control of their own bodies. Hyuuga's still getting used to walking again, every step a struggle but he's not stopping. Meanwhile Mike is walking slowly through the sand like a triumphant action hero, which is FINE, but this scene is meant to be bitter sweet. Magna Defender DIED so Mike could be here, its not meant to feel triumphant.
Gingaman then gives us a great shot of Hyuuga, empty scabbard on his back (!!!), doing his best to keep staggering toward his team (very sad that LG cut this one out tbh)
I dont have an issue with this shots recreation - in fact i think it kinda nicely shows the differences personality wise between the two characters. Hyuuga is apprehensive, he KNOWS what he's put everyone (particularly Ryouma) through. Mike is relieved - its over, he finally gets to be home. Where I DO have an issue with Mike's reaction though -
is the complete disconnect between him and Leo. Leo missed his brother every single second that he was gone, he's still processing what he's seeing, and Mike just kinda... doesnt seem all that phased. It feels more like old friends seeing each other after some time apart, rather than brothers finally being reunited. Something else PR stripped from the scene was the camera angle differences. Ryouma is looking UP at Hyuuga, still not quite believing its really him - Mike and Leo are both on the same level.
Again, Gingaman gives us time to linger, it makes us hold our breath just that little bit longer before finally breaking the tension (I had to cut out a significant portion of the build up to Ryouma's sprint/the amount of time spent on their hug). Whereas this is all Mike and Leo get - a nice moment, but overall lacking in emotional weight.
Thats the crux of the issue really - the lack of emotional weight. There is a Hyuuga shaped hole left in Gingaman. Every character has history with Hyuuga, he means something different to all of them, everyone misses him. Him coming back was a DREAM to them, something they all wanted but assumed they couldnt have. Meanwhile half the Galaxy Rangers barely know who Mike is, he means literally nothing to them outside of "guy who pulled out the Quasar Saber and then died". Like can you honestly tell me Mike coming back meant as much to Damon and Maya as Hyuuga's return meant to Hayate and Hikaru??
What sucks is this scene COULD have been just as impactful in LG, but they didnt do the groundwork or give Mike the build up he needed. I love Leo, I wanted to see him get his brother back, I wanted him to get that closure, but instead all he got was a hollow, lackluster recreation of one of my favourite scenes in the whole franchise.
#power rangers#lost galaxy#gingaman#long post#like i KNOW i shouldnt be comparing the two shows#and there is so much about lost galaxy that i absolutely love#but when they literally shot for shot recreated the moment that had me sobbing like an absolute baby#and somehow managed to make me not feel anything#i knew i had to go on a bit of a rant lmao#like even down to the camera angles and framing it just feels so flat#also i feel that if they were gonna change it up and give Magna Defender a father/son backstory#they should have also changed Mike to be Leo's dad#that way Leo and Magna Defender would have kept that 'same situation but reversed' parallel#but i guess PR wasnt quite ready for a dilf ranger after the shit show that was kid-ranger Justin#'just keep them all the same age dammit these age gaps arent working'#but like could you imagine dad Mike???#give him more history with commander stanton - make him a father figure to Kendrix and Kai while you're at it#hell make him a BAD DAD to Leo and then show me them coming to love and respect each other more through their shared warrior fates#i'm gonna stop now before i lose my mind lmao
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i think the real hell that i put my friends through when we play dnd is that i literally cannot hold back about horse infodumping and asking wildly specific horse questions
and most of my friends who DM are less knowledgeable about horses than i am
#like the problem is that not only are horses a special interest of mine but i also genuinely grew up with a horse#my dad had a horse before i was born he always had a horse as long as he was alive and i knew him#and so literally a horse being there was just a given until i was like idk 9 and that results in picking up a lot of just background info#and its NEVER important to whats happening but you gotta let me have my two to ten minutes about horses
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Save me skincare routine. Save me stupidly expensive skincare routine in tiny bottles
#so ya girl turned 28 three days ago and immediately had a midlife crisis#it didn’t even take very long. i opened my eyes at 6:55am on the 8th and immediately started freaking out#okay i want to clarify something. it’s not that i feel a need to perform a certain level of femininity. it’s not even that i care about#my appearance that much. it’s just that for the first time in my life i look older than i feel#and i feel really weird about it actually! that’s never happened for me before. all throughout my childhood i was told how mature and smart#i was; and i always felt like i knew it all. then something flipped when i got into my mid twenties#all of a sudden people started treating me like i knew stuff and was a functioning member of society. meanwhile i’m standing here#with like radio static in my head. i’ve been an adult for 10 years now and i still feel like i’m floundering#but i look at myself in the mirror and i see: dark circles. wrinkles. dry skin. greying hair. horribly chapped lips. matronly body#i mean some of this is just genetic; i’ve had dark circles since i was 15 and my dad went grey at 30#and none of this is actually Bad. (except for the chapped lips). and it’s not that i don’t want to age. i’ve never considered botox#or plastic surgery and i never will. i genuinely want to look my age. i just… i’m having a hard time because during my early to mid twenties#my skin always looked fantastic despite me doing NOTHING with it. i was literally washing it with cold water and then applying moisturiser#that was once a day at MOST. most of the time i didn’t even do this. and mind you my ‘moisturiser’ was a body lotion#i also used to exfoliate with st ives of all things like… can you believe#i’d always get asked for my skincare routine and i’d just be like ‘i just moisturise when it occurs to me 😌’#but now the reckoning has come and i’m 28 and look like i got hit by a bus. haaaaaa#it’s just like. it’s not that i want to look 10 years younger. that would be bizarre. i don’t even really want to get rid of my wrinkles#or all my blemishes. i just want to take better care of my skin so that it doesn’t get inflamed and dry and break out all the time#and water + actual fucking LOTION isn’t cutting it because ya girl is ✨28✨#so i’m going to try cleansing balm; hyaluronic acid; facial moisturiser & spf. i think that seems reasonable#(yes i never wear sunscreen either. feel free to shoot me with a firing squad)#i just hope it works and none of the products make me break out. and also i stick to it#i tried to pick out some gentle products. so let’s just hope for the best i guess. i mean there’s always room to switch things around#personal
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So uhhh I was just gonna make an addition to this in the tags, but i didn’t realize how verbose I was gonna be, so I ran out of tags. So I’m gonna continue it up here cause I don’t wanna rewrite all the tags:
But writing the words “maybe I won’t become a palaeontologist” caused me to burst into tears in class. I pushed through and kept writing to finish off the piece, but something in my heart had snapped like a twig.
I used short snappy sentences and repetition to show my anger, fear, frustration, and most importantly, my constant anxious thoughts that kept giving me anxiety attacks during tests. Telling me over and over again that I was never gonna make it. That I was stupid. That I’d never make it into university, let alone survive it.
This also, conveniently, was a motif in the text.
Anyways, a week or two later I got the grade back for that piece, and if I’m remembering right, it was pretty solid. But I didn’t… really care about that, which was very weird for me at the time. But for some reason I just wanted to have it back. Despite the pain I felt in writing that phrase, I felt an inexplicable urge to read it again. So, when I got it back, I tucked it away in my backpack.
That night, sitting at my desk, up too late, I pulled the pieces of looseleaf out of my bag, and read what I had wrote in full. Most of it was still just as visceral as when I had written it, and while it was emotional, it didn’t bring me to tears like it had before.
Until I read that phrase.
I sobbed for probably over an hour that night.
After that I made a consistent habit of digging out that piece, reading that line, and letting myself cry for a while whenever I was feeling hopeless about school or my future. And each time I did, it got a little easier to read. Slowly I was convincing myself that this wouldn’t be the end of the world, that things would be okay, that I would be okay.
And I think this was among the top 3 best things I ever did for myself. Along with going to my doctor about getting assessed for ADHD and a particular break up.
And now I keep journals with my most visceral of emotions in them, so that I can go back and read them over and over, and learn to accept how I feel, and my situation. I write prose and poems and unorganized swaths of thoughts and feelings. I draw, scratch and scribble with a shitty pen, with no care for beauty, just expression. (I did this a lot during anxiety attacks in my math quizzes and tests. I’ve lost most of them but I remember how much those made me feel too)
The idea is that if I keep writing and drawing these things, I’ll eventually come up with another of those twig-snapping phrases, or a visceral image, and I can look back on those and view them again and again, allowing me to process those emotions.
It’s cathartic and therapeutic, and I’m glad I learned to do it, all thanks to that shitty fucking chemistry test.
(GOD this ended up long, sorry lol)
So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.
Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.
One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.
All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.
So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.
And Mr. Hargrove loved it.
It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.
Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”
And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.
Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.
One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.
That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.
And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.
And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)
So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.
Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.
#this is fantastic#I learned I had a knack for writing visceral emotions#given the right circumstances#during my shitty fucking grade 12#where in one semester I had English (I’m a slow writer and reader)#chemistry (it was getting more complicated and I wasn’t keeping up and the math was increasing)#AND math (which I had so so so many problems with for years but this was the worst of it)#on one day we were meant to sit down and do a practice PRT in English#and right before that I had a Chem unit test and it went HORRIBLY#I came to class already in tears#and after everyone else got started I excused myself and went and hid in the bathroom#I was there for a long time and I was silently hoping my teacher would send one of my friends in to check on me or something#but I also knew that this writing Personal Response to Text (PRT) was pretty time sensitive#and it wasn’t gonna happen#so eventually I dragged myself up off the floor#and went back to class#and I sat down and wrote an emotional piece about accepting change and accepting failure#I connected it to my relationship with my father in order to connect my writing to the text this was supposed to be in relation to#but it ended up being more relevant than I thought#since my dad has been my most enthusiastic supporter and ally in chasing my dreams#and the height of this piece was when I admitted to myself for the first time in my life#that maybe I won’t become a paleontologist#and that is okay#that’s what I’ve wanted since I was very young sure#but I like other things too#I love other things too#I can find happiness elsewhere and I can find fulfillment elsewhere#it isn’t paleontology or bust#life will go on#long post
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JUNO, YOU KNOW! k. nanami
☆ sum. last thing nanami would expect was to get struck by a “fatal” love curse during the very end of no nut november. you tease him even more by saying one of you is cute….but two though?
wc. 8.1k
warnings. fem! reader, husband! nanami, unprotected, sēx pollen, mentions of pregnancy, fluffy smut <3, handcuffs, brēeding, cunnīlingus, him finishing too quick, cowgirl, praise, soft dom! nanami, cērvix mentions, size kink, he's soooo whipped n in love w youuu, (bless his dad's genetics), boob obsessed nanami, aftercare, petnames.
an. my entry for @luv-lies's yummy nnn collab! ❤︎
november 29th, 2024. 6:09 P.M.
december was right around the corner - but oh, was nanami kento fuckin’ screwed.
“nanamin!” satoru—his colleague hollered, speedily rushing over to him. they’d just defeated an unarmed A-cursed spirit unlike any they’d ever seen before. it was quite strong, but it was nothing the pair couldn’t handle. satoru glances down, extending out his hand. nanami grunts, swiping a hand over his sweat-glossed forehead before sighing. he’s a bit roughed up but takes satoru’s cold palm with an irked grumble. “you alright? that was quite the hard hit.”
“ ‘m fine, gojo,” he grouses, readjusting his glasses. with a swift hand, he fixes his crooked tie. “just hah- underestimated the opponent. don’t fret.”
he wasn’t ‘just fine’ though. nanami felt his entire body starting to arise with scorching temperature within a matter of seconds. he’s boiling hot- and it felt like his heart was pounding straight out of his chest. perplexed, satoru furrows a snowy brow at his comrade once he notices his awkward body language.
“what do you need? tell me- maybe we can-”
nanami was clenching his chest with one hand, panting heavily before letting off a raspy huff.
“i need . . my wife.”
the car ride home was silent.
satoru offered to take him home, wondering just what really happened. nanami was as stubborn as a mule though, so he didn’t question it further. he’d rather not get scolded. his head rests against the tented window as he stares outside.
driving through the rutted bumpy roads of tokyo, nanami’s droopy eyes occasionally drifted away from the bright street lights that merely blinded his naked eye from gazing a bit too long.
as usual, the city was packed, dozens of cars zooming by with the flashy beaming store signs. in the background, some random song was playing. it was pop—and of course, satoru was loudly humming along to the catchy poppy melody.
the lyrics were quite . . vulgar though, but nanami still remained quiet, focusing his eyes on the streets.
skrrrrrrrt!
satoru’s breaks eventually come to a stop. it was about maybe a good ten-minute drive and he arrived at you and nanami’s cozy minka. the light was on so he assumed you were probably still up. placing the rusty shift in the park, the white-haired sorcerer turns to nanami with a cheeky grin.
“take it easy, alright? ‘m sure the curse will wear off at some point,” and nanami scoffs once his palm pats his shoulder. reaching for his seatbelt, the blond click it off before unlocking the door. “oh! and tell your wifey i said hi!”
“sure thing, gojo.” nanami stops himself from rolling his eyes, reaching near the backseat to retrieve his dusty suitcase. with a loud vroooom, satoru’s aqua-blue convertible takes off and nanami starts to make his way toward the door.
glancing down, he fishes for his keys in his pocket, grumbling under his breath.
god- he feels so damn hot. even hotter than when the attack occurred..
was this supposed to be normal?
all he knew was that he wanted, no- he needed you.
something in his body . . whatever it was, was direly aching for you.
the entire car ride, nanami’s mind was entirely flooded with thoughts of you, you, and only you.
whenever he had missions, he’d always think about you, sure. but this time- this time was far, far different.
he felt like he was gonna melt right away if he didn’t touch you, if he didn’t smell you-
“ken…to?” you murmur with a quirked brow, standing behind the tall sliding door. nanami stiffly stood at the doorway, keys still idly in hand with the most dumbfounded look.
oh- he was so kept in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize you had already slid the door open.
you looked so pretty though. nanami could feel his face softening once his eyes locked onto you.
it was pretty dark at night but like always, he could make out your gorgeous physique as clear as day. you were actually wearing one of his business shirts with what he hoped were panties underneath once he took a glance between your bare thighs.
his fawn eyes continue to trace down every exposing inch of your skin, and he snaps back into reality once he feels your palm cup his cheek.
“hi, baby. how was the mission?” you hum.
“not hah- that good,” he pants, and you furrow your brows once he steps inside, sliding the door closed and tossing his suitcase to the floor. it lands with a banging thud, and nanami pulls you into a hug.
a coy smile goes against your lips, wondering why he’s being more clingy than usual, but nanami rests his face right on top of your chest. letting off a smoky sigh, he roughly grumbles, gently rubbing a thumb against your hips. “mmf- i missed you, sweetheart.”
with a soft expression, you comb a few tangled fingers through his blond tresses. “i missed you more.”
“no- i really missed you,” he protests, and you can see a bit of a pout forming against his lips. nanami’s drowsy eyes trail down at the bit of skin that shows through his shirt. it was a bit loosely oversized, and you smelled just like him. his cologne was good on you. so good.
uh oh- he was starting to feel even more hot.
just resting against your chest had him hearing the repetitively unsteady beats of his heart through each of his sensitive pointed ears. “at the mission today . . i got struck by a curse.”
with a worrying look, your face shifts into a look of concern. “a- are you okay? what happened?”
“ ‘m fine,” he lets out a muffled huff of reassurance. nanami breathes against your skin, sweetly planting kisses against the cotton fabric that shields the entirety of your chest. “i feel really hot though.. everywhere- not just my head,” he speaks once the back of your hand lands on his forehead, checking for a temperature.
indeed, he felt hot.
sepia-colored irises flicker up toward you before he shivers. “when you . . touch me, honey- it makes me feel weak. hah- like i feel-”
“aroused?” you finish his sentence, your concerned look slowly disappearing.
oh.
thankfully, it wasn’t anything serious . . or was it?
nanami stares at you with a cute head nod being his answer as you press a kiss on his warm forehead. “so was it some type of love curse?”
nanami’s breath becomes deeper as he takes a minute to formulate words in his overstimulated brain. “m- maybe. all i know is that i just- i want you…i need you,” and he sighs deeply, eyes lowering. “you look beautiful tonight by the way.”
“it’s still november, baby,” you tease, knowing exactly where he was going with his gruff words. nanami had a feral hungry look in his eyes, and it looked like no other expression of his you’ve seen before.
he lets off a frustrated groan at your words, remembering the little ‘challenge’ you both agreed on once halloween ended.
ah- ‘no nut november’.
where men have to apparently abstain from masturbation and cumming—according to you, specially for the entire month of november.
not that nanami necessarily minded, he had a pretty good tolerance, actually.
but today, of all days?
he felt like he was about to break. being so close to your proximity had nanami’s head spinning.
his face - it’s overly flushed. a pretty tint of pink starts to slowly paint his face as he pouts at you.
you don’t think you’ve ever seen your husband like this—let alone pout. “we made a deal, remember?” you continue, caressing a thumb across his cheek. his chin was still resting on your chest and you could see the frown marinating against his features. “december first.”
“but-” he grunts, watching the smug grin spread across your glossed lips. nanami gets sheepish, tilting his head down. “sweetheart- i know that, but you’re bein’ pretty cruel right now, no?” and you glance down, feeling his lips collide against the skin that briefly exposes your tummy. “do you always wear my work shirts when i’m not home?”
“yeaaah,” you admit, letting off a tiny snicker. nanami feels your shoulders slacken once you release a single breath, and you stare straight into his eyes.
his eyes however, never left yours, not for a millisecond. as the gaze continued, you could see the beads of sweat starting to race down each side of his forehead.
oh-
maybe the curse was serious. getting an idea you decide to amp up your teasing just a bit. “do you wanna know what i was doing earlier while wearing your dress shirt?”
nanami places chaste kisses between the valley of your breasts. “uh huh. tell me, wifey.”
“i . . might’ve been playin’ with myself,” you sweetly speak, and he could hear the tease lacing underneath your sentence.
the more you spoke about what you were doing, nanami was starting to feel even hotter-
and the pure image of you touching yourself with his button-front shirt on, engulfed in nothing but his musky cologne made him groan. it was clear you weren’t wearing panties. he couldn’t help but peek, and sure enough—you were going commando.
nanami keeps his lovingly longing gaze and slowly, he raises his head from between your chest, raising a brow as if silently saying, ‘continue.’
with a cheeky smile, you wrap your arms around his torso. “i couldn’t make myself finish though. my fingers aren’t as long as yours. so, i ended up falling asleep and i had a dream. about . . us.”
“i see,” nanami huskily utters, sinking his head into your left shoulder. you just smelled so so sweet — sweeter ever, and you could see nanami trying to restrain himself. clearing his throat, nanami invades an entire side of your neck with wet, loving kisses. “what was the dream, princess?”
now it was your turn for your heart to start racing.
it was quick, beating at such high beats per minute. with an impish expression, you cup his chin and make him face you.
tenderly rubbing a thumb over his lips, you finish what your cute, lewd admission. “i…uh- dreamt about you retiring as a sorcerer. or you have a safer job that makes you less stressed. we finally . . settled down, and we um . . ended up having kids.”
“kids, huh,” he whispers, dragging a hand through his blond strands. you could feel his feverish heat radiate against your skin and you were surrounded by his balmy warmth.
he wasn’t exaggerating—nanami was truly, truly burning up. the buds on his tongue sizzle each time he takes a fateful second to swallow, salivating the more his eyes focus on you. nanami ponders for a moment silently, and before you know it, he’s picking you up.
you let off a cute surprised gasp, hurling your arms around his neck before watching him sigh. “ah- don’t get shy, my sweet. keep going.”
nanami continues to walk with you in his arms, going up the creaking, wooden stairs and you run a few fingers down your exposed nape.
“we . . had about maybe two or three. you even started growing facial hair too,” and nanami’s grip on your hips softens. he raises a blond brow before trodding inside the quiet bedroom. “you’d make a good dad though, ken,” you purr, running a finger down his amber-dotted tie. “could you imagine though? one of me is cute, but two though?”
“honey-” he cuts off, lying you flat back against the mattress.
with a split-second glimpse underneath the oversized formal shirt you wore—indeed, you weren’t wearing any panties. he had to check just one more time.
nanami starts to pant heavily, watching as you playfully lift your leg, throwing it over his shoulder. “is that- is that what you want? to settle down?”
“only if . . you want to.” you murmur in a soft tone, deeply getting lost in his golden-hour gaze.
nanami’s eyes were bright, shining with nothing but love and adoration for you - always.
if you squinted just enough, you could see his pupils forming into cute-shaped hearts.
grabbing his hand, you place it on your tummy, sliding it underneath the buttoned shirt.
“i want… you,” he huffs, his voice turning from tender to raspy within seconds. nanami leans in and presses his lips against yours. his dimples happily curve forward once you immediately return the gesture, cupping his face with both hands.
right away, nanami moans against your lips as his hot tongue blissfully shoves itself inside your mouth. minty peppermint — it’s exactly what he tasted like, and his cool breath running against your tongue only made him taste sweeter.
nanami couldn’t help but roll his hips against you with his sweaty forehead softly pressed on top of yours.
each popping smack of hungry lips got louder, and he heard the faint clanks of his belt shuffling. you slid a hand down, reaching for the middle part of his pants. you’ve shared many kisses with nanami, but this one seemed different..
a current of chills ran down your spine as he deepened the passionate kiss as the callused tips of nanami’s fingers unbuttoned his shirt.
speaking of his shirt though—he just couldn’t get over how much his shirt was just prettily glued against your skin.
“god- this month’s been torture, sweetheart,” he’d breathe between nearly suffocating kisses.
nanami’s lungs were full, and he’d sometimes even forget to breathe. such full lungs of his were heaving in and out continuously, desperate for any sort of puffs.
they had to find air, they just had to..
but nanami didn’t care about breathing, not when he had his lips ardently locked against yours.
“couldn’t- stop- thinkin’- ‘bout- you-” he grunted in a hoarse tone, sweetly sucking against your lolled tongue. its mushy warmth invites him to continue, and you briefly open your lashes to stare straight into a very needy nanami’s eyes. “hah- you were all i thought about at work today.”
“mhm, breathe, kento,” you whisper, feeling your lips swell the minute he pulls away.
a web of gluey saliva leaves from both sets of puffed lips and he breathes like you said. with a looooong inhale, nanami then exhales before grunting. you simper, tugging on the hem of his beige boxers. “maybe i can . . help with that curse?”
and you did.
in more ways than one, really.
to be brief, nanami kento was a feral man-
he felt himself turning into a brand new man the second his tongue graciously rolls itself flat against the flatness of your pretty twitching clit.
a sharp gasp winds straight out of your lungs as you’re sat with your legs obtusely spread to a wide degree.
with your hands burying themselves underneath your plushy tits as he devoured you—you couldn’t help but toy with yourself for a bit. moaning, a thumb trails its way down against one of your puckered nipples that poke through the fleecy blue dress shirt.
“k- kentooo.” you’d hum out a whimper, a hand finding its way near the top of his head.
he’s slow… badly wanting to savor your sweet taste on his tongue while eating you out like the starved, starved man that he was.
wisping a bundle of fingers through his blond locks, you continue to cup one of your tits with one hand. long, thirsty sluuuurps exited from nanami’s lips as you watched his head frantically shake from side to side.
your tummy was already seizing, and the heel of your ankle started to guide its way down his back. wet, sloshing noises ricocheted against nanami’s lips as his eyes periodically averted back towards you.
he’s giving you the ‘i wanna marry you again’ stare, no doubt. even with his mouth stuffed, nanami kento’s never felt more in love—
maybe this love curse . . pollen, whatever it was was a secret blessing in disguise.
the panicky, racing beats of nanami’s heart never slowed, and a hand of his then grips your thigh. tenderly, you feel the tip of his tongue dipping its way in ‘n out — wetly lathering his pink twitching muscle with your sweet slickness.
your eyes remain on him the entire time, getting forevermore lost in his crave-like gaze. “shh- talk later, princess. promise.” he whispers against your cunt, delving his tongue in swerving, wide circles.
those wide circles eventually curve their way into hearts, though. a whine sobs its way from the back of your throat as the grip on his hair tightens.
you felt the scaly, hot of his tongue create the perfect heart . . even spelling out the simple eight letters of ‘i love you.’
your legs couldn’t hold still, they just couldn’t- and you could feel the skittish smile forming against his lips, tickling against your pussy.
you were drooling from your entrance, right from the puffy slavering slit down. you’re flooded, soddened with such amounts of dewy dewdrops that form into strings, and in a way though, it was pretty.
nanami was just struck in awe at how much you were just profusely leaking. like the gentleman nanami was though, he lapped it right up. his rose-swollen lips cupped everywhere, smothering the crevices of your sheeny thighs with his many, many kisses.
“r- riiiight there, ‘ken,” you’d mewl out a desperate plea, slowly dragging his head against your cunt. it’s moving around in a hypnotizing circle, but if it was anything that was leaving you in a mere trance of a state, it was his tongue.
nanami explores through every puffy wet corner, sloppily slotting his tongue in between your pudgy folds. he grunts against your throbbing heat, feeling the weight of his impatient boner prodding beneath his cotton-made boxers. “mngh- gonna cum. ‘m gonna cum, kento.”
“do it for me,” he soundlessly says, vertically smearing a fat thumb down your slimy pussy.
your entrance was soaked-
tearing away with drooling droplets of slick. every time. he was so enticed that he had to take a minute to just stare at your cunt—admiring how wet his pretty, perfect girl was - just for him.
nanami was entranced once he moved his face closer. the tip of his button nose then literally starts to drag itself down your sobbing slit and he moans, taking in your natural scent. “hah- c’mon, sweetheart. give it t’ me,” and he brings his ring finger right up against your core.
it’s a lanky finger that starts to bedaub against your cunt, feeling you writhe at the sensitive contact.
you whine, feeling his ring finger rub its way against your heat before poking your tongue against your cheek to silence yourself.
as you watch, his digit gets covered with your mess almost immediately, and you shudder at the cold band of his ring toying with your salivating folds. “pretty please-” and oh- he’s begging.
a blond brow of nanami’s quivers as his lips attach back to your cunt. sticky, glistening strings of arousal rills straight down his forward-pointed chin as he continues to rub the back of his wedding ring against your pulsating clit.
it’s icy cold.. you felt him keep up the pace as the material of the band smears itself around in circles before feeling a coil in your tummy tightening.
the pressure makes you see stars for a hot second—and you’re met with a bundle of nerves trying to introduce itself to the lower depths of your stomach. “ ‘m cumming!” you’d blurt in a staggering wail.
the crashing wave of endorphins made you exhale a cute sigh as your legs started to get more and more numb.
you felt like you were floating on every single cloud, including cloud nine - especially cloud nine.
nanami’s tongue still slid its way in between the slot your sappy folds, feeling the cute twitches of your throbbing clit against his bumpy tastebuds as you start to spasm. “fuh- fuck! ‘ken ‘m sensitive, baby.” and your words turn into a mere hush once your body started to limp its way onto the sheets.
your thighs locked around his neck, and you still had his hair in a firm grasp, digging your fingers deep into his roots and scalp.
with widened doe-eyes, you glance back down toward your husband who’s merrily licking you clean without a single care in the world.
if the beats of your heart was a car, you’d be speeding.
it’s beating so fast out of your chest that you can barely keep up. your legs felt like mush as your neck finally gave up, collapsing back against your pillow.
“mmh- should’ve just stayed . . hah- stayed home today,” he grumbles, giving every glossed part of your exposed cunt individual kisses. nanami starts at your pretty clitoral hood, sprightly nibbling at the tender fold of skin. you whine, yanking his head forward before nanami pats your pussy. “could’ve been playin’ with her a- all day.”
“you’re here now.” you speak out of breath, pulling his head back up. once you do so, nanami looks at you with the most pussy drunk expression.
his lips were all plump and red, lashes merely sticking together, and glossed sleek streams of slick racing down his chin. nanami leans into your touch, sitting up before leaning in to kiss you.
again- his tongue sloppily carved a wet trail through your mouth, and you moan once you feel the tint of his boner press up against your bare cunt.
he’s so hard, you wondered if it was painful. you swallowed each grunt of his in your mouth, feeling his body hungrily rock against yours.
a few ash tresses stick against his forehead as his lips violently crash onto yours—creating an impactful collision.
as dancing tongues swiftly twisted and spiraled around each other in sync, you hear a bit of shuffling again.
nanami's reaching into his boxers, grunting against your lips once he feels the anchoring weight of his heavy cock lie flat against his palm. “m- mhm, sweetheart.” he throatily groans, feeling your hand slip inside of his boxers too.
you feel a lightning-shaped vein shoot down his skin and he grunts. nanami was as sensitive as ever, and with your hands softly tracing circles over his bulky triceps, he knew he was in trouble.
deep, deep trouble..
“it’s okay, ‘ken,” you whisper, letting off a sharp inhale once his fiery hot tip smears its way on your cunt.
it’s almost flat out rude at first—with the way it smacks against your folds, creating a wet splash that lands right on his bulbous crown.
from the stout tip that’s round at all thick corners, nanami’s leaking.
milky, pearls of whiteness dribble from the fleshy sides of his fat cock and he grunts once he feels your shaky legs caging him in again.
god- you looked so pretty like this..
just laid back, wearing nothing but his business shirt. all the buttons were unbuttoned so now—it was just you, breasts cutely sprung out and all.
gently grabbing his face once more, you mumble against his flushed temple. “inside, it’s okay. go inside,” and your sweet words were like a chant.
he’s slow-
carefully aligning his maroon tip between your syrupy slit, feeling it clumsily slip out every few thrusts.
you even reached between your legs with a single hand, spreading your pussy open right before his eyes. “don’t be… shy, she doesn’t bite, kento.”
“hhh.. woman- you’re gonna be the death of me,” nanami gulps, openly staring at the slippery heat stick between your legs.
he didn’t know which action had him feeling hotter. your filthy words, you, or the way you spread yourself open for him with just two, cute fingers.
two twinned digits pried your lower lips apart, and he grunts once the swollen head of his cock snugly pops its way past your gummy barrier.
“hngh,” nanami sucks his teeth, pressing his forehead against yours. his palm rests on your tummy before he gives you a tender glance. “is this . . alright?”
chewing on your lip, you moan out a, “y- yeah.” before touching the back of his hand.
nanami’s face softens before he eases himself further inside, squeezing past that cute ring of your entrance that’s just always oh-so tight!
nanami was as round as a teddy bear. a few years into your loving marriage you noticed how he started growing a soft bear-type body, especially with the winter rolling around.
not that you minded, he was the perfect subject for cuddling. in this case, though, he was perfect for gradually placing his weight on you—to which you always ended up loved.
with his dress shirt all wrinkled and unkempt thanks to you, nanami sheathed his face inside of your neck. “g- goddd, ‘s like when i’m inside i feel even hotter.”
the love curse ran through all nanami’s veins, including invading near his bloodstream and every jabbing axon that continued to pulse through his achingly, hot skin.
eventually through . . after a very long three minutes, his gravelly pants started to turn more and more raspy.
browned eyes of nanami’s turn tender at your gaze once you grab both sides of his face, rubbing circles around his hollow cheeks with the soft tips of your thumbs. “don’t hide, look at me.”
“heh- yes ma’am.” he gruffly whispers, tilting his cheek, leaning into your touch.
nanami was on top of you, glued to you entirely as if both bodies were made of pasty adhesive. with your ankle running down his back, it took everything within him to not moan.
every part — every single part of his body felt insanely sensitive to your touch.
nanami would occasionally bite his lip, finding his eyes rolling upward or even letting off a ‘phewww’ just from being a few inches inside of your intoxicating cunt.
as his cock’s driving its way inside at a slow pace, you watch nanami’s blond brows twist into a furrowing curve.
he’s sucking in every breath that tries to escape from him, groaning at each inch that sloppily disappears between your puffed folds. without even taking a glance—nanami could feel how wet you were, and not only were you preparing to milk him dry, but you were also drowning every girthy inch of his cock with all slick amounts of your pretty mess.
he didn’t have to look down because he could just feel – feel your compellingly, vulgar squelches, feel each slosh that sobs between your cunt folds, feel each pulsating throb that would convulse against your clit.
you’re just so damn pretty though..
staring back at him as he’s trying to make his way inside, nanami ends up getting lost in your gummy orifice that’s desperately clinging onto him as if its life depended on it. it’s almost cute..
“f- fuuck.” you’d whine, tugging at his ruffed-up cerulean collar. peering your eyes a bit, you see a bit of faded lipstick marks that were from you earlier this morning.
you smile to yourself, knowing nanami would always proudly show off those marks to any woman who dared look in his direction.
within a few inches deep, nanami’s creating an unforgettable gap that stretches your cunt fully open. he keeps his hooded eyes on you, pressing a few encouraging pecks near your plump, kiss-bitten lips.
he’s never felt so hot..
nanami snaps his hips into you once- just once, and he lets off the prettiest moan.
it sounds more like a whine—it pitches a bit higher than usual and he falls face flat into your chest.
you get sheepish, wrapping your arms around him before feeling him grunting between your breasts. “honey, i think i just . . came.”
“oh,” you breathe, and sure enough, you felt a lukewarm batch of cum starting to pool its way inside of you. your legs remained snaked around his waist and you could feel nanami’s ashamed pout stretch against your chest. you pat his head, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “it’s . . okay, ‘ken.” and he’s kissing all between the slope that runs down your soft tits—his comfort place.
you hum, lifting his head and watching him grumpily pout with loose blond strands running down his eyes. “i can always take the lead if you’re too sensitive.”
“please..”
♡ ♡ ♡
nanami looks up at you with a timid expression, his hands restrained at each side of the bed. gulping deeply, he watches as your slick-glossed cunt just barely floats over his creamy white tip. from the coral-colored sides, it’s a blushing pink…itching for you to be inside again.
just a single inch or the mere feeling of you swiping your entrance back ‘n forth against the peeling hood of cock makes him groan. “handcuffs, honey? this is quite…eh- kinky, no?” nanami raises an ash brow with a weary smile, soft, dusky eyes never leaving yours.
in fact—each time you run your hands down the open slit of his shirt that exposes his blond growing chest hair, he shudders.
just a few fingertips of yours alluringly ghosting down his skin was enough to make him melt. through semi-blurred peripherals, he spots a bright color that sticks against his wrists. “they’re . . pink,” he chuckles, “and fuzzy.”
“it came in the mail yesterday,” you coo at his observation, inching your face closer and starting to kiss down his neck. nanami inhales before sighing in rapture, positioning his head to the side so you could have a better angle and it’s unintentionally sexy. “it’s not too tight…is it?”
“it’s fine,” nanami shakes his head, preparing to take another deep breath once the opening of your pussy starts to sloppily split its way ajar.
you’re sinking on his shaft and he lets out a husky grumble—bulky muscles flexing through his biceps as his arms stretched across both sides of the leather headboard. “mmgh- atta girl. like that- like . . that.” and his voice seductively lowers an octave at every inch.
it was almost hypnotic at how much you were soaking him. truly, you were already soaked but now that your cunt was accepting his vast tip that was descending its way further inside of you, nanami wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last.
profusely, your pretty pussy was drowning him. nanami’s muscles continued to bulge through his shirt as he slouched back against the mattress, watching your hips starting to moderately pick up.
“s- sooo big.” you moan, the stretch wholly expanding through your walls. sometimes—you don’t think you’d ever get used to nanami’s size, let alone his thick, parting stretch.
clicking his tongue, nanami takes every second he can just to stare and openly admire your body.
effortless, you were just effortless with every moment you did.
every twirl, every toss and dip of your hips had him hungry for only more – more of you.
as your pace maintained its rocky rhythm, his eyes found themselves trailing further down, pausing between the crack of your pried-open legs.
seconds pass and they’re now leisurely making their way up your chest, pausing right between your plush rounded mounds.
you still had his business shirts as you rode him, and your tits freely sprung as your hips started to grind quicker. as your hips pathetically stuttered, so did the wooden legs of the bed. “hng- puttin’ me in handcuffs just so i can’t touch my hah- pretty wife, hm?”
nanami tries to joke, but you could already see him breaking a sweat once his cock explores deeper inside of your cunt – zigzagging a bumpy pattern all through your inside.
it’s making sure every part of you from the inside memorizes his hits, sloppy thrusts and all, and fuck- were you about to collapse right then and there.
the sides of nanami’s forehead were already heavily covered in perspiring sweat. with lush tears dribbling down every crevice and corner, nanami starts to huff.
“but baby, you always touch me,” you lively tease, tossing both arms over his tense, pent-up shoulders.
the bed lowly creaks every second, constantly dipping from all the constant movements and pounds that jolt against the rickety aged boxspring.
its constant croaky groans sounded almost painful—and the quicker your hips swerved around and bounced, the louder it cried in the background from both jerking bodies.
nanami pouts, shaking his head and you make him nod by cupping his chin. “yeah, you do.” you then surprise a part of his neck with wet, balmy kisses.
nanami gruffly grunts, desperately wishing his hands were roaming down every part of your body. tending to every part, allowing his fingers to explore every part.
he’d caress circles around your ass—guiding his callused, rough fingers up up up before they eventually reach near your waistline.
with a clingy grip, he’d start to rock your hips faster into him, making sure he pumps all nth inches deep inside until you’re babbling out incoherent cacophonies of his name and how you’re just so full..
but you noticed—nanami’s eyes were only focused on only one thing. your soft, perked breasts that bounced at the exact second your body did.
at each powerful hop and slam of your hips, they playfully jiggled, flopping against your chest. they were nearly smushed right in his face, and oh- he could feel his mouth shamefully watering at just imagining them being in his mouth.
“closer, sweetheart,” he grunts, tilting his head down since he couldn’t exactly use his hands.
you were riding him at such godly speed, swerving your hips at such frantic intervals while wetly clamping down on his cock.
nanami always filled you to the brim with all of him, poking right through your slickly dripping orifices with every bouncy thrust.
once more, it makes his head spin, but all he’s focused on is your chest that was staring straight back at him. “f- fuuuck, ‘m still h.. hot. i think- i think suckin’ on them will help me cool off, sweetheart.”
saucily cooing, you lick a stripe down his neck as your hips accelerated. as you continued to speak, your voice started to get a bit bumpy from the unsteady movement of your jouncing ass.
“oh- is that what you wanted all this time, ‘ken? to suck on these?” and he watches as you lean back, cupping your tits with the smuggest smile plastered on your lips.
your hands sneak down between your unbuttoned shirt before you silently mewl, giving them a nice good squeeze. “imagine jus’ how plumper they’d be after i have your baby, kento.”
“h.. honey- you’re lucky ‘m handcuffed.” bronze eyes trace down your skin, stopping at your perked nipples.
they were oh-so-perfect.. and as you’re straddled over his lap, nanami couldn’t help but let his mind wander just a bit. he couldn’t help but allow his mind to wander near the very lewd lobe of his brain.
the mental image of you baring his child . .
his wife, you.
nanami grunts at the thought, wordlessly gasping in multiple honed breaths at the fierce clashes of sharp skin.
your hips were disgustingly brutal, and with the way your thighs clung onto him, you were nearly akin to a magnet – forevermore sticking against nanami, never wanting to let go.
“c’mooon,” the blond playfully whines in a gruff voice, his cock stiffening inside of you. “don’t hah- make me beg, sweet girl.”
“you make me beg,” you chaff, slowing your hips down just a bit. nanami grunts at your catty truth, feeling the weight of you gradually hover before you roughly buck right into him.
using all of your core, his leaking tip smears its way against your clit in an almost pretty heart shape and you stutter out a moan.
your syllables of each broken moan were a bit choppy as you were shooting blanks, arching your back against him. even as you’re still riding him, putting all pounds of movement from your body into your sprawled knees, you kept touching yourself.
seeing you guide your hands all over your body in such a sensual way, made nanami kiss his teeth.
in envy though - those should’ve been his hands..
“allll. the. time.” you finish your sentence in a spirited whisper, whispering against the twitching left side of his ear.
each thrust becomes increasingly sloppy with your grip getting more slick ‘n wet — glossed which such sticky amounts of your tangled juices.
each squashing slop! that squelches from between the arc your legs get louder, causing your thighs to nearly clamp together from the tender stimulation.
cupping your tits again, you bring them up to nanami’s face. “go ‘head.”
“woman.. you’re evil,” nanami muffles, getting a face full of your breasts. you hold onto them tight, watching as nanami brings his face closer until he’s shoved right between them. a sweet crooning groan slithers from his lips as his tongue fervently curls its way down toward your nipple.
sloppily, you feel him casually swirling greedy circles around your pulsating gland before switching to the other one.
nanami’s lashes close as you’re still rocking your hips forward, nearly riding him into utter ‘n erotic oblivion..
at this point—you thought the bed was about to break, devastatingly snapping into two due to how good you were putting your hips to use.
“mmpf- so pretty. all mine, m- mine,” he rasps between wet slurps, his wrists still trapped in pretty pink handcuffs. the woolly fur tickles against his skin as his tongue continues to rove shapes around your nipples. “need to get these girls plump… quickly.”
your tits remained grasped in your hands as you’re moaning from nanami’s tongue, and you now start to rut into him at a much more hurried pace.
nanami hungrily drives his cock all through your core, creating a near race-track path that smothers invisible kisses all against your g-spot.
every inch, he’s fat- and his even lengthier girth nearly makes your brain short-circuit for a minute. every wild jam of your hips feels like its last, and nanami’s already drooling.
treacly, sweet saliva pours from the corners of his lips as he’s sucking on each of your tits, muffled gargled moans and whines vibrating against your tepid flesh..
your body had adapted to a more steady rhythm, but you could feel his dick eagerly twitch inside of you every few rushed seconds.
a bit of drool ends up running down his mouth, landing on his polka-dotted tie, creating a gray dampening spot. it’s cute, and you rub a thumb over his thin lips, watching his tawny, soft eyes flutter back open.
it’s the look of love- and nanami could feel himself heating up more once your gaze meets his again.
for a moment, he had completely forgotten about the dumb curse because he was too busy lost in your gaze.
but his temperature started to increase. you let off a bundle of whiny mewls once you feel him nip the top row of his teeth against your nipple.
“s- so cute,” he purrs lowly, feeling your knobbly thighs get closer and closer to giving out. just a few more thrusts and you’d probably be done for.
“mmp-” he pops out your left nipple with his swollen wet lips, glancing at you. nanami looked like he’d just run a marathon with blond strands glossing strips across his forehead. grunting, he starts to pant like a greyhound, sliding a tongue over his lips. “you’re close, honey?”
“m- mhm!” you’d reply, your voice turning raw at each straining moan that leaves from your poor chords.
his cock was massaging everywhere, it didn’t miss a single spot. it’s tip was widely turgid, angrily crimson-red, and leaking from all veiny sides while narrowly delving into you raw.
nanami’s kneading through your guts, tending to each gummy part of your entrance to make you whimper out his name. from every deep, vigorous pump that profoundly batters inside of your pussy, your eyes cross.
you’re dumbfounded—dumb in general too from the way he facilely located every sensitive spot with just the stubby tip of his shaft.
including your pretty cervix - nanami made sure his cock smacked its way there a few times.
the deep pressure pounding inside of you, greeting every single spot inside of your pussy never failed to make your knees quickly buckle.
“f- fuck, fuck there ‘ken, theretherethereee,” you start to babble, the bumps of his tip making your jaw goofily hang. “ ‘m cum- ‘m gonna cummm.”
“haah- together, sweetheart. can you . . finish with me?” nanami murmurs in a throaty voice, kissing your neck.
he tried to lift his head but got slightly pulled back from the fuzzy handcuffs.
he’s molding your insides fully with his cock, squinting a bit at the crescent-shaped moon that hides behind the violent bed curtain.
that view was nice but the view currently in front of him, riding him.. ‘curing’ him from whatever curse this was was far a better sight.
you.
with a whine preparing to squeal from your throat, you give him a nod.
nanami tilts his head, tsking impishly with his smacking lips despite how he was just as sensitive as you. “ah- you know how i feel about head nods, princess. i wanna hear those pretty words.”
“y.. yes ken, ‘kentoooo,” you moan, gasping once you feel two things at once. your stomach tightly seizing and your sloppy cunt restricting around his meaty, stocky length.
it’s so good, soso good that you softly bite into nanami’s shoulder. he hums, groaning right with you before you continue. “ ‘m cummin. ‘m fuckin’ cumming, kento.”
“i know.. i know, c’mere, girl,” he whispers, his face softening once your eyes immediately lock with him. “my sweet… girl.” his pitch lowers, and you decrease the distance between the two of you.
once again, your lips meet nanami’s but this time, it’s far more aggressive and less passionate.
it’s only one word and it’s – sloppy.
your body’s weakly rolling against him, losing its rhythm as the two of you end up finishing together, competing with each other’s inevitable high.
it all felt like a slow … rush.
as you were both drinking each other’s never-ending moans and grunts, the puddled, gooey mess began.
at the same time though, your legs ended up finally collapsing as your swollen, plump lips attacked against his - harshly.
nanami’s lips were almost competing with yours, mashing against your lips with the occasional rows teeth of teeth clash clash clashing away.
it’s loud, sloppy, messy..
the peppermint taste that still lingers in his mouth travels against your buds and you moan. nanami groans, spraying a geyser of bittersweet strips of hot cum inside of you as both tongues continue to explore each other’s mouths.
it’s a straight shot—it travels deep, introducing your womb with a fresh amount of cum as you end up letting go at the same time.
both sets of hearts fluttered as you pressed against his chest, racing frantic beats per minute as you melted the dozenth kiss he presented to your lips.
it’s hot- nanami’s rawly plunging into you as you whine against his lips, barely feeling your hips rutting into him anymore.
you’re just straddling him now – yet he’s still plugging you full with such massive inches of cock, with the addition of his creamy, gloopy seed that drizzles a sloppy white ring around his base.
your fingers wisp down his undercut, as he continues to quietly ravage your walls. it was a slick, slimy knot that buries itself deep inside of your pussy.
you’re moaning, slowly breaking away from his mouth that had strings of saliva clinging near the bottom of his glossed lip. panting heavily, you crane your head, taking a quick peek down at your ass.
it’s a mess, and as his carmine-colored tip slips out of you, it lightly smacks against his tummy.
ribbons of cum paint near the very undersides of your thighs, pouring out between your syrupy slit in such a slow yet filthy manner. time nearly stood still, and nanami went silent, staring at the gooey wads ‘n wads buttery cum that oozes out of your pretty, fluttering cunt.
“are you okay?” nanami sighs, feeling you reach for the handcuff key that rests near the rosy nightstand. you remove them, and he twirls his wrists in a circle before looking at you with kind eyes.
“ ‘m okay.” you reassure him, cupping his face and kissing the right side of his cheek.
nanami’s exhausted—especially after how good you just rode him.
your dripping cunt hovers against his happy trail and sheeny clenched abs as he lazily lies back, finally grabbing your hips. “good . . good,” and with a huff, he sheepishly smiles. “i guess i . . hah- failed no nut november, huh.”
“eh- there’s always next year,” you bring a chaste, sweet kiss to his quivering, pouty lips.
♡ ♡ ♡
surrounded by nothing but bodies of water featuring sods of glittery clear bubbles, you now found yourself lying against nanami’s broad chest. burly, swole arms envelope around your body as the two of you were in the ivory, spacious bathtub. as the water ran against your skin, soothing your aching muscles—you let off a sigh once he finished washing you off.
“i think it wore off,” his warm voice tickles against your skin. nanami kisses down your nape, reaching near the side of the tub where a bowl of fresh muscat grapes lies. tearing a few off the vine, he brings them toward your lips. “the curse . . pollen, whatever it was.”
“mmpf- did it?” you eat from his hand, feeling his wet palm softly rub against your chin. the smell of rich jasmine hits your nostrils as you let off a satisfied hum at the sugary sweet flavor. nanami’s body held you close, feeling your damp body lightly plop against his chest. you feel a bit of his chest hair land against your skin before you swallow. “do you still feel hot?”
nanami pops another grape into your mouth, then into his. “no, sweetheart. i’m fine now, thanks to you,” and you feel his left arm hook around your waist. the blond reclines back against the tub’s icy marble-made wall before sighing. “how do you feel, though? any cramps or body aches i should be aware of?”
with a content suspire drifting away from your parted lips, you move a bit in the calm, lukewarm water — closer toward the back of his chest.
“i’m okay, kento. althooough,” and you give him a playful nudge. “my legs still feel sore.”
“forgive me, honey,” nanami rests his chin against your shoulder. there was a bit of jest in his tone, and you could hear him trying not to snicker.
again, always the gentleman though.
“i’ll give you a massage once we get out of the tub, my treat.” and you let off a sigh, feeling him creep a few fingers up your thigh.
“hmm, okay,” you comply with a sight sigh, sneaking a kiss near the edge of his lips. nanami blinks thrice, his face flushing a bit before you cup his face with wet hands.
“i was serious you know. about . . what i said earlier. us settling down and–,” and nanami deeply stares into your eyes as you speak.
you rub a wet thumb against his sharp cheekbone before continuing, abruptly cutting your cute rambling short, ending with a sincere, “i love you, kento.”
tilting his head against your palm, leaning into your embrace, nanami brings you toward him before kissing the crown of your head. “and i love you more,” and as you felt butterflies party in the lower pits of your stomach, nanami brings your hand up to his lips.
gently, he aligns his mouth perfectly near your fourth digit before giving you another kiss, this time—on your ring finger. “mrs. nanami.”
but oh- he wasn’t done..
as you’re feeling a wave of tenderness overwhelm your heart, nanami leans a bit down before kissing the center part of your tummy that drips with teary droplets.
his wetly compressed lips give it a quick peck and ‘mwah’ before keeping his head lowered. “i love her too.” you raise a brow, glancing as nanami’s chin hovers over the bubbles of water.
“her?” you lift a brow as he whispers multiple ‘i love you’s’ against your stomach as if he was already talking to something – or someone..
“yes, her,” nanami repeats, giving your tummy one more kiss before sitting back up, rubbing his palm over the center of your belly.
looking up at you, he notices your confused expression and smiles to himself. “oh, just a little hunch,” and you gasp once nanami picks you up softy, carrying you out the wet tub, the both of you soaking wet.
“now, how about that massage? i’m quite good with my hands, especially when it comes to my woman.”
#★vegasbaby.#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento smut#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#female reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader
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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident
so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.
at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.
he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?
and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.
but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.
i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?
(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)
and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.
i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.
that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.
i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.
anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.
i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.
we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.
he was okay at it.
eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.
soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.
realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:
"i can't get pregnant"
which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.
still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"
and then i was in my car, and i drove away.
if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.
and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.
WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.
we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.
do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.
and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.
then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.
and then they started making out.
i was close enough to hear it.
i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.
so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.
now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.
so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.
about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.
my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.
my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.
they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?
and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.
#dating stories#anecdotes#long post#funny story#babylon#im really bad at dating#like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me#shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho#like#every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get#and i lived#didnt even get shot#writing
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#Wait why is this so accurate though#One moment in particular comes to mind where i had to do something pretty traumatizing/gross and i was calm about it because--#I knew it needed to be done and I knew my older brother couldn't do it. & while I did it he freaked out & I had to comfort him tht it was o#If NEVER seen him break down like tht before. Meanwhile in everyday life he's stoic and doesn't care. & im the basket case of the family.#I don't remember my dad really being like that though. He's been gone so long its hard to remember how he was vs how I'd wished he was
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