#i kinda want to message him and tell him it's fine to use them we're voting for him

[charmwasjess]

Heard from my friend/ cat sitter that while we were in New York, the guy running for Congress showed up at my house going door-to-door and took a bunch of selfies with my cat, Trashmouth. But he's running against the Trump-backed incumbent, so hell yeah, good girl, Trash!

[ddejavvu]

Can you do a spencer reid with a bau reader who is younger and very atractive and when the bau are coming to see him at his apartment for whatever reason and use the key (derek probably has one ngl) they just find a mess of clothes everywhere and them just asleep together

When they wake up they are like:👀😶

Bau: 😏😏

They're not snooping, per se, but the BAU are profilers by nature, and it's not hard to spot the neon pink bra that's abandoned by the side of Spencer's recliner.

"Uh, I think pretty boy's mom has kinda aged outta stuff like this," Derek holds up the bra by one single strap, indicating the lacy cutouts that leave very little to the imagination, "Unless she's got a boyfriend we don't know about, and Spence let her have his place for the night?"

"Oh, come on, is it so hard to believe Spence has a woman here?" JJ pleads, but when she gets several 'subtle' glances from the rest of her team, she relents with a sigh, "Oh, fine. Maybe it accidentally fell into his basket at the laundromat."

"Spencer doesn't go to the laundromat," Emily recites, "Because he has 'no way to realistically verify that their machines are sanitized within proper health regulations'."

"Oh, dude, that man is a wet blanket," Derek scoffs, "But don't tell him I said that- he'll probably start on a tangent about mildew."

"We should leave," Hotch proposes, standing by the door where he'd been trying to keep up an air of polite disinterest despite his intent glances around the apartment, "His keys are hung up by the door, so I'm sure we're just not getting a response from him because he's sleeping. And if he woke up he'd kill you all for wearing shoes on his carpet, so it's in everyone's best interest to leave."

"Hold on!" Penelope gushes, "I just want to check!"

She creeps towards Spencer's bedroom, but at JJ's insistent, 'Shoes!', she chucks her heels back towards the door. One hits its intended blonde target, but the other whacks Derek in the arm, and Hotch is surprised that the dramatics that ensue don't wake Spencer from where he's presumably sleeping. He's sure Penelope will offer to kiss it better.

Penelope tiptoes towards the bedroom door, peering inside the small gap that he'd left before laying down, and finding a Spencer-sized lump under the covers. She nearly turns when she notices that it's larger than just Spencer-sized, and-

"Ooooh, guys," She rushes back to the living room, voice barely hushed enough not to wake you, "He's got a girl in there!"

Derek's victory fist-pump is accompanied by a whispered, 'My man!', but Emily reaches for a pen that's resting in the breast pocket of her blazer. She takes the bra from where Derek had set it on the arm of the couch, rooting around for a post-it in Spencer's drawer and finding a stack of them neatly tucked into the front-right corner. Typical. Just the way he does it at work.

While Penelope describes how close the two of you were sleeping beside each other- 'not an inch apart, guys, they were totally spooning!' - Emily scrawls a neat message on the post-it, dotting the I with a heart.

'Congratulations, Spencer and Mystery Girl!' She writes, leaving the sticky note over the lingerie that she sets on his countertop, 'Tell him to bring you around the office sometime soon - your bra is gorgeous, I need to know where you got it ~ Prentiss <3'

[airybcby]

it’s for the married couple event :D

isagi + 🍉 + 🍭

have a great day 🫶

i hope you have a great day too!

an isagi yoichi watermelon sucker

જ⁀♡⊹｡° a dwindling , mercurial high

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event!

♡ content — isagi yoichi x gn! reader, gn! reader, tried to make it as gn as possible but if you see a she/he in there referring to the reader pls lmk!, fake dating, kinda unrequited love, isagi still plays soccer, set in a high school, reader's had a crush on yoichi for a while

♡ synopsis — the plan was to get through this simulation as smoothly as possible, but when you're paired with isagi yoichi, that won't happen.

The marriage simulation program wasn’t just a quirky school experiment to teach life skills—it was a competitive test of teamwork, resourcefulness, and communication. And when your name was paired with Isagi Yoichi’s, the school’s friendly, hardworking soccer star, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Guess we make a good team, huh?” Yoichi grinned, holding up the assignment sheet with both of your names highlighted.

“Sure,” you said with a forced smile, your stomach twisting. Teamwork wasn’t the issue. Yoichi was great—kind, dependable, and endlessly encouraging. The problem was your not-so-tiny, not-so-manageable crush on him, something you’d buried for years.

And now, living with him for a month? Pretending to be married? It felt like walking a tightrope over your feelings.

The first week was easy enough. Yoichi, ever the optimist, took the tasks seriously: planning “dates” for extra credit, cooking dinner together, and even budgeting for pretend household expenses. You played along, keeping a safe emotional distance while fulfilling every assignment.

But things took a sharp turn when Yoichi came up with his next brilliant idea.

“People are talking about us,” he said one afternoon, scrolling through his phone.

“Talking about what?”

He turned the screen toward you, showing a string of group chat messages.

— Isagi and Y/N look so natural together. Are they really a couple? —They were holding hands yesterday during the task. Maybe it’s real?

Your face grew warm as you looked back at him. “We were holding hands because this stupid test required it!”

Yoichi scratched the back of his head, his sheepish grin doing nothing to calm your nerves. “Yeah, but… people are going to keep asking. And, well, if we tell them we’re actually together, it might stop the rumors.”

You stared at him, stunned. “You want us to tell people we're dating? You want us to fake date?”

“Just until the simulation ends,” he said quickly., as if he couldn't get the words out of his mouth fast enough. “It’s not like it’d be that different from what we’re already doing, right?”

His logic was infuriatingly sound, but it still felt dangerous—like inviting trouble into a house already on fire. Against your better judgment, you nodded. “Fine. But this stays between us.”

“Deal.”

The fake dating went almost too well.

Yoichi was good at playing the doting partner, maybe too good. He’d drape an arm around your shoulders during group outings, laugh at your jokes like they were the funniest thing he’d ever heard, and casually call you nicknames that sent your heart racing.

But when it was just the two of you, the act faded into something quieter, something closer to real. Like when he’d sit next to you during dinner, asking about your day with genuine interest. Or when he’d stay up late helping you with assignments, his focus unwavering.

You told yourself it was just for the simulation. Just part of the act. But deep down, you knew you were falling deeper than ever.

Things hit a breaking point during one of the simulation’s final tasks: a “couples’ interview,” where pairs had to answer questions about each other to test their “compatibility.”

“What’s Yoichi’s biggest dream?” the interviewer asked, her pen poised over her clipboard.

“To become a professional soccer player,” you said without hesitation. “He’s been working toward it for as long as I’ve known him.”

You were grateful for the easy question, everyone knew that about Isagi. Yes, you knew almost everything that had been asked so far too, but you assumed it was basic knowledge to know these things about your partner. (it's not, half of the other groups couldn't answer these questions.)

Yoichi’s eyes widened slightly before he smiled, his expression softening. “Yeah, that’s right. And Y/N's dream is to travel the world someday. They're always talking about all the places they want to see.”

Your chest tightened. You mentioned that once in passing, while the two of you were watching a nature documentary.

You hadn’t expected him to remember.

The interviewer beamed. “You two really know each other well.”

You forced a smile, but the weight of his words lingered long after the interview ended.

As the simulation neared its end, the line between fake and real blurred beyond recognition.

“I think we’ve got the highest score in the class,” Yoichi said one night, leaning against the counter while you washed dishes.

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice quieter than usual.

He noticed, of course. Yoichi always noticed. “Hey, are you okay?”

You hesitated, your hands stilling under the faucet. “What happens when this is over?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… us. The fake dating. Do we just go back to normal?”

Yoichi’s smile faltered. He looked down at the floor, his usual confidence replaced by uncertainty. “I guess so. That’s what we agreed on, right?”

Your heart ached at his words, even though you’d expected them. “Yeah. Right.”

What did you expect? Isagi Yoichi wasn't the type of person to fall for you.

You were just foolish.

The final day of the simulation arrived, and the apartment felt emptier than ever as you packed your things. Yoichi was unusually quiet, his movements slower than usual as he folded his clothes into his suitcase.

“So… this is it,” you said, forcing a smile.

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice soft. He looked at you, his eyes searching yours like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

“Good luck with soccer,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “I know you’ll do great.”

“Thanks,” he said, his smile faint. “And I hope you get to see all those places you’ve always dreamed about.”

For a moment, it felt like there was something hanging in the air between you—something fragile and unfinished. But before either of you could speak, the program coordinator knocked on the door, signaling the official end of the simulation.

Yoichi grabbed his suitcase and walked to the door, hesitating briefly before turning back to you. “See you around, Y/N.”

“See you,” you whispered.

And just like that, he was gone, leaving you with an empty apartment and a heart full of questions that would never have answers.

fake dating isagi...yes pls

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[remcycl333]

my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

[mxqdii]

OMG NOW THAT U SAY THAT PLEASE WRITE A MATT OR CHRIS FIC BASED ON I CAN SEE U😻😻

i can see you - c.s

pairings: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: reader suddenly develops feelings for chris sturniolo (based off of t.s song 'i can see you')

warning(s): fluff, mutual pining, kissing.

not proofread

i've been friend's with the triplets for as long as i can remember.

but lately things have been different.

"this is bad, this is really bad alahna" i say with the phone up to my ear, ranting to my best friend

"okay calm down, it's chris, you know chris, you gotta tell him" she says and i let out a shakey breath

"alahna i-" i start but get interrupted

"y/n, you and i both know you guy's have always been something a little more than friends, its obvious, now tell him how you feel." she prys.

the call ends shortly after that, leaving me time to think about what alahna was saying.

i've never seen chris like that, right?

i've always thought of him as a friend, i just feel like now i can see him, like my eyes have been opened.

my thoughts are interrupted with my phone vibrating, seeing a text from chris.

great.

chris: yo, we're going to see a movie and you're coming, i already bought your ticket.

y/n: fine but only if you pick me up

chris: i always do princess

my eyes widen at the last message, princess?

calming myself down at that comment that got me way too flustered, i tell myself it was a joke and start getting ready for the movies.

for some reason, for the first time in forever, i put thought into what i wear.

i take the time to look good, which is odd considering it's just the triplets.

i mean, ive known them since i was 6, what's with the desire to 'dress to impress" now?

the doorbell rings and i jump

shit they're here.

i open the door with shakey hands, being met with nick, letting out a breath of relief knowing chris is in the car

a breath i didn't know i even had in.

"heyy- wait what's wrong" he asks and i groan

"don't worry about it, lets go" i say, grabbing his wrist dragging him back to the car.

"helloooo guys thank you for the ride" i say with a smile to cover up the fact that i'm dying at the sight of chris.

the car ride goes faster then expected, not much talking being done considering nick had his playlist on blast the whole ride.

nick saves me once again.

"okay me and matt will get the tickets you and chris get snacks" nick says to me.

i officially take back every good thing i've ever said about nick

"okay" i say, feeling the dryness in my throat

what the hell is wrong with me, i am too nervous around chris and i've never even felt this way before today??

what is happening.

"hey" chris says snapping me out of my trance

"hm?" i hum in response

"you're quiet, what's up?" he asks and i ponder as we wait in line.

"well, i- i don't know i've just been feeling different towards something" i try to explain and he nods in confusion

"okay.. care to explain a bit?" he pry's and i sigh

"chris i-" i start as i'm interrupted

"hello! what can i get for you two today" the concessions girl says

"a gun" i mumble and chris nudges me

"right! snacks... uh, i'll get a blue raspberry slushy" i say

"what did matt and nick want?" i ask chris and he orders for them

"then just a cherry slushy for me and that'll be all" he says smiling making my heart flutter

i reach into my purse searching for my wallet

"that's funny y/n" chris says making me look up

"what?" i ask

"you paying" he says, and i see that everythings already payed for as he pulls his card out of the machine

"chris-" i start but he interrupts

"shh, not a word" he says, putting his fingers over my lips to quiet me.

i cant help but feel my cheeks flush at the action though.

we walk back to the lobby, waiting for nick and matt

"so... what were you gonna say earlier?" he asks and i freeze

"uh, i kinda had to tell-" i start to speak but matt and nick come up to us handing us our tickets.

"i forgot! that's all" i say to chris with a smile

we walk to the movie theatre and take our seats, chris pulling our seat separator up.

"wha-" i say in confusion looking at chris and his open arms, like he's waiting for me to lay with him

i forgot this is something we do.

"cmon you don't wanna get cozy?" he says making me cringe

"ew." i say back knowing i don't mean it at all, just stalling from him being able to feel my heart racing.

the movie starts and i lay with chris feeling my clammy hands and shakey body distracting me

also chris's colonge, the sound of his heartbeat, his arm around my neck.

okay you get the point, i am going crazy.

"i-im gonna use the bathroom" i say, almost a mumble, frantically getting up and letting out a big breath of relief

i hear doors opening behind me and turn around seeing chris

it's too much- this is all just too overwhelming.

i feel tears brim at my eyes just getting worked up and just feeling overall upset

"chris no-" i say, his presence being too much

"y/n, you've been acting weird all day. i know something's up, you seem so nervous and i wanna help you but you have to tell me what's up." he talks and i snap

"i like you, okay!? and it kills me that i couldn’t do or say anything about it because i know you don't feel the same. the whole day i've been just going insane and i can't keep pretending i see you as my best friend"

i finally broke.

the tears start streaming down my face and chris looks at me in pure utter shock, making me feel worse.

"y/n-" he starts but i interrupt

"you don't have to say anything" i say and he sighs

"okay, then i'll do this." he says and cups my cheeks, kissing me passionately.

the world spins as i feel his soft lips on mine, a feeling i've been missing my whole life, one i won't ever forget.

he pulls away, smiling.

"chris-" this time he interrupts

"you don't have to say anything" he says, teasingly, as he kisses me again.

i think this whole thing has opened my eyes in a way they never would've originally been opened, seeing chris like this, it's something i needed, something i longed for and now i know that it's not just me.

chris can see me too.

[anonymous-existences]

Chapter 5 : Fun Streaming Shenanigans

[World Building Chapter 2]

[𝙶𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚖 𝙲𝚒𝚝𝚢, 𝙱𝚊𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗, 12:45 𝙿𝙼]

Tucker was setting up his streaming set-up and dash helping with the heavier sets, "What... Are they doing...?" Valerie asks as she drank her coffee beside Dante. "... Being idiots." Dante scoffs "No Dante, This is Genius! Streaming Valerie!" Danny says Excitedly because they're gonna let Danny Join the dismantling Parts. The Elders were very supportive and even gave them their own streaming Room that is their lounge. Very supportive sweet people who even gave them all Seperate rooms, except Danny and Dante who Says they wanted to stay in the same room.

"Hello Chat! Tucker Foley here and I'm finally back after a Loooong hiatus! A lot of things has happened but anyways! We have new members! Valerie." Tucker shows Valerie to the chat. "Oh come On..." Valerie says and winks at the camera. "There's Dash! He's my Brother now! Cool innit." Tucker says and Dash waves at the Camera.

"Danny and Dante as you all know from Before—" Tucker reads one of the messages. "Where's Sam...? Uhm..." They looked at each other and Valerie spoke up and walked over to the Set-up to talk to Chat. "Unfortunately Sam has passed due to... An accident. It took a long while for us to move on and Grieve and that why Tucker Here took long to post again." Valerie says as she Drank the rest of her Coffee and walked back to beside Dante.

"Yep! Thank you Valerie for Telling the viewers but yes! We're back as always! Soon I might introduce you all to our Grandparents!" Tucker says and Dash and Him continues to chat and talk to the viewers, "I missed this yk... It's been a long time since we've.. streamed stuff actually —" Danny says with a gentle gaze and Dante ruffles his hair.

"Ofcourse I Know that Danny. For now let's have fun." Dante says and also finished drinking his coffee. "Gasp! Hello First Subscriber! CoffeeAddictDrake!" Tucker waves at the Camera. "You remember our first subscriber?" Danny asks as he rolls his wheelchair over to the camera. "ofcourse! He's the one who always gave mone— 500$ WOW— GODDAMN— it's not even 5 minutes yet—" Tucker looks shock and the rest Laughing.

"It's been a while chat! It's me Danny as always, I'm kinda disabled and Gay now but that's fine. I know you guys haven't met my twin Brother Dante. Cmere Dan." Danny looked over to Dante who sighs and Went over to Danny. "Sup Chat." His voice was deeper than Danny's and he was more muscular and built unlike Danny who was more and I qoute "Twink" build.

"Oop chat's going crazy again—" Dash Blurts out as everyone was going crazy over Dan who still hand fixed his messy hair and still half naked with an unbuttoned shirt. "Damn. We went from a thousand viewers and 500 subscribers to 4k Subscribers and Riding and a few thousand Viewers because and Val and Dan. 'is he single?' Uh Yes Chat but I think Valerie wants to fuck him—" Danny blurts out and Dante just stunned.

"If you gave me the opportunity I would." Valerie states and Chat went even crazier. "Damn. This went from Oh Welcome Back introduction to Oh my God people are Simping over you, your brother and Valerie. And Dash is also simping on you so that's something els— oh damn—" chat going crazier.

"Anyways— Let's all calm down- alright??" Tucker says and Valerie chuckled and walked out, Dante just sighs and sat beside Danny's Wheelchair as Dash, Danny and Tucker Went on about Technology and how they're in Gotham for an Hour or 2. Dante slept in his seat as they did so. "And that's all for today! Thank you for watching!" Tucker says "we'll see you again soon." Danny bows his head and smiles. "make Em go Viral if Possible since they're such Fanatics of Wayne Enterprises Technology and Tucker to Tim Drake." Dante laughed.

"If I got the opportunity to Date Tim Drake I'd take it and become a househusband." Tucker says with pure determination, "Then you'd be my brother In Law—" Danny blurts out which chat tries to question but Dante distracted them with unbuttoning his shirt more. It was effective.

"I'm not even surprised.." Dash mutters and waved good bye to the camera and they turned off the stream. They soon heard Dash's Grandma calling for them downstairs as Lunch was Ready. "Just in time! YAY! FOOD!" Tucker stood up excitedly and ran out the door. Dante let Dash push the wheelchair for now as he fixed his shirt and ties his hair back up. Dash was pleased as Danny kept chattering about more stuff in Technology and Dash listening to everything. "Smitten son of a—" Dante glared at Dash who was looking at Danny with "Those Eyes" that clockwork also used to look at Vlad. Dante shuddered slightly and scoffed.

[����𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝙳𝚊𝚢]

"Good Morning Chat! It's a new Day! It's a new discovery— Tim Drake's official account subscribed to me and I couldn't be more happier." Tucker says as he leans on his Chair, "Good morning Chat." Dante says whilst Hair wet and Shirtless, "Damn those abs." Valerie blurts out. "Please stop simping for my brother Infront of me— anyways Morning Chat! Today we will talk about more nerd stuff! Specifically Aerospace Engineering because why not we're nerds, and there's two non nerds behind us—" SLAP. "VALERIE— DO NOT SLAP MY ASS—" Dante yells and Valerie laughing. "That's normal, I'm not even gonna Bother—" Dash falls asleep again resting his head On Danny's Shoulder. "that's not normal but I'm not gonna move nontheless" Danny smiles.

"Uhm chat says uhh...Check... Tiktok? Alright—" Tucker opens TikTok and let's it stream. "ARE THOSE THIRST TRAPS OF DANTE—" Tucker yelled in shock. "WHAT THE— WDYM??" Dante looked over at the screen and in total shock. "Goodness of the Ancients.." Dante mutters slowly falling back down to his seat and Danny laughing his ass off until he sees a Thirst Trap of himself in a "Before and After" Edit. "Pardon Me for Laughing—" Danny mutters regretfully. Tucker was stuttering and questioning chat on how they even made these within a day.

"This is so fun." Danny laughs at Tucker who was mentally overloading.

This was so fun.. Danny smiles softly.

[𝙻𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚘𝚘𝚗]

Danny and Dante were with Valerie touring around the City Malls whilst Dash and Tucker was left to the Manor Streaming and Letting Grandma and Grandpa Join the streams. They hinted that the Three icons were out for the day Around Gotham. "This city is both amazing, terrifying and Largely fucked—" Valerie says as she's looking around. "Oh right? When are you guys gonna look for your Biological Family?" Valerie looks at them. "Probably never— I mean... He already has a lot of children—" Danny mutters, "And I heard the youngest is a bit Feral so I'd rather not deal with another Ellie." Dante scoffs as he picked out a book from the shelf in the Store. "Fair reasons but he has to atleast know you guys exist." Valerie tries to reason but Danny shook his head.

"I'd rather not have it like that... I want to stay in low profile and a normal life for longer, I prefer the silent warmth of the mansion." Danny says with a soft gaze and Dante nodding in agreement. "Vlad is still getting my Bike transfered here because it's my favorite and first Bike. Hopefully it doesn't come back Damaged." Dante sighs and drinks from Valerie's Straw. "Uhm that's stealing." Valerie complains as he practically is drinking from her cup. "Doesn't matter. Don't care." Dante chuckles. "Please stop flirting behind me for Ancient's Sake.." Danny groans sarcastically as he rolled his eyes and raised his legs to cross them to add more sass.

"Tucker says he'll vlog tommorow around Gotham, you wanna join?" Valerie asks Danny as she ruffled his hair, "Ofcourse I do! It's fun." Danny smiles and giggled. "You sweet summer child." Valerie kept ruffling his hair. "Jesus Christ, Ancient's Mercy, I am not a sweet summer Child—" Danny says annoyed and embarrassed. "Uh-huh. Right..." Dante says Sarcastically. "Ugh.." Danny groans and Gave up as Valerie kept Fondling and ruffling his poor hair.

Danny was thinking about what he said yesterday. Hopefully someone doesn't take it seriously... I mean Only Tim Drake-Wayne is subscribed to them yeah— hopefully he didn't notice that thing he did. Confessing indirectly was such a stupid move, he feels like an idiot for doing that as that could risk his wish for a normal unbothered life away from the public. Please don't let them find out. Please please please. Ancients have Mercy don't let the Phantom Luck Hit Now and Make the world find out He and Dante are Wayne's Biological sons. That'll be the worst.

Dante gave Danny a cup of Milk tea he just bought. "Ease Up Danny." Dante reassures Danny as he drinks the boba tea happily, The three just tours around the Mall with Danny still on the wheelchair but it's fine, atleast he can still float, not walk anymore though that's still upsetting him but it's fine, hell get used to it as he always does.

[𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚃𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙳𝚊𝚜𝚑]

"Why did Danny call my brother in-law when I talked about the marrying Tim Drake Wayne? Uhh... Out of Wedlock Child." Tucker mutters, "Danny sometimes looks like a victorian child in the edge of Deaths Blade." Dash speaks up to try and distract chat. "That's true! Yeah he does! It's normal tho! He's just really pale and ever since the accident with the electricity as you all know we've talked about it cuz that's how he got his Lichtenberg scar, his Heart is barely detectable by the Heart Monitors! Now he's even more slightly sickly more than before ever since an accident." Tucker says

"Yeah! And it left him unable to walk but we're here to help him at his needs ofcourse." Dash finger guns the camera as he spun his chair. "Oh Cujo— OH MY GOD— TUCKER—" Dash yells as he looks at the door. "OH FU— WAIT CHAT—" Tucker turns off the Camera. "CUJO! PUT THAT STICK DOWN! IT LITERALLY HAS FIRE ANTS! PUT IT BACK outside OR DANNY AND VAL WILL GET REALLY UPSET." tucker yells and Cujo whimpers and whined in compliance as he... Threw back the tree log outside again.

Tucker turned on the camera again and looks stressed. "Anyways Chat. Meet our Dog Cujo." Dash raises cujo to the camera and made his paw wave at the Camera. "he's kind of a demon spawn...." Tucker whispers to the Camera. "Aw come on! Look at his cute face! He's so cute..." Dash says as he made Cujo that's in large Pitbull Dog Form wave at the camera, Cujo licking Dash's Face, "you're such a cutie pie! Yes you are, you're such a good boy, who's a good boy? You are! You are" dash coos and Tucker sighed.

"Don't mind him chat he loves the dog as much as he loves Danny." Tucker says Loudly which Made Dash flush red, "TUCKER!! You don't JUST SAY THAT!!" Dash yells his face tomato red as Cujo kept licking his face and Tucker laughing at him as he buried his face on Cujo's chest Fur in Embarrasament. "WHAT IF DANNY SEES THIS!! IM NOT READY TO CONFESS!!" Dash groaned and Tucker laughed Louder.

"Look at that guy! He's so jock like he's Embarrassed about being gay for someone." Tucker Snorts and Dash tackled him from Behind, Both boys now Wrestling Like Brothers and Cujo Barking and Playing around them thinking they're playing and Tucker Laughing his Ass Off as Dash still looked like a red and ripe tomato.

Hopefully this type of happiness lasts forever... Even if not forever please let it be long. Tucker hopes that it lasts long so they can enjoy the last bits of childhood they can have.

Let them Have fun just for a longer while.

[drvnkd4zed]

Breaking up with Enhypen

heeseung; Heeseung would love to keep you as his friend. Even if you two aren't together anymore, he'd still want to keep in touch. Heeseung would take you out just like he used to do with your dates back then, he would make the break up easier as he wouldn't disappear. "Do you remember that time we..." he would start every time, reminiscing the time you two were together. He misses you and it feels like hell whenever he has that instinct to kiss your lips but he can't do it anymore. You broke up with him but... how comes he looks hotter now that he isn't yours anymore?

jay; He respects your decision and he's helping you with everything you need to heal from the break up. He would become colder, he's hurt too but doesn't want to look weak in front of you. "I miss her so fucking much, I would do anything to get her back" he would text his friends. He'd buy you your favorite chocolate, a warm pajama, some flowers and some copies of the new books from your favorite author leaving a little message in it like:"In case you miss me (call me or text me whenever you need)". You and Jay would stay on good terms and his family would still have you for dinner from time to time as they always liked you.

jake; Jake would need some time alone to realize, you are so important to him that losing you is his biggest fear. You'd feel guilty but that's your decision and you won't take it back. "We're still friends, right?" he would ask you. He'd do silly (but cute) things such as sending you letters "anonymously" with short messages like "You always make me smile" (to make sure you remember someone likes you). Don't ever stop telling him about the little details of your day, of the things that make you happy: even if you two are just friends now, seeing your eyes shine while you talk about the things you like is his biggest joy.

sunghoon; Sunghoon would try to have a quarrel to make the breakup less painful to him. He would complain about the littlest things just to look annoying so you wouldn't miss him as your boyfriend. You notice that and reassure him, saying you both will be fine. He will always support you in your decisions but he still thinks he's better than your new boyfriend.

sunoo; No one will notice you two aren't together anymore. The way he smiles at you - friendly - won't ever change. Obviously, Sunoo wasn't happy about breaking up but all he wants is you being happy, with or without him. You two are still good friends, you go shopping together, go to the cinema and have fun just like two normal best friends. If you ever happen to have a new crush, he won't hesitate on giving you help and advices to get close to him/her.

jungwon; At first, it might feel awkward for you to see each others and communicate because of the recent breakup. You decided to be friends, but it will take some times before everything eventually goes back to the ordinary. There's just this one thing, whenever you touch him or smile at him, he'd be panicking because he's still a big simp for you (and not gonna lie, you kinda like it). Being his girlfriend was the best thing that happened to you and even though you realize that now it's over, he's still your favorite person.

niki; Niki would probably need some time alone, so he'd disappear for a few days or weeks healing. He'll come back acting as nothing happened, as he's starting to know you and like you again. He's going from princess treatment to "the little sister I like to annoy" treatment. Pinching your cheeks instead of kissing them, he'll find new ways to be close to you yet being distant.

[themultifandomgal]

Kelly Severide- I’m Here To Stay Pt2

Months later YN spent most of her time at the firehouse and at Mollys. So much so that she got a job at the firehouse doing almost reception type of work, and Herrmann even asked if she could bookkeep at Mollys. Her and Kelly have been getting closer and closer, they have been on a date and shared a kiss, but they haven't made anything official between them. The whole firehouse loves YN. They saw her as part of their family and since YN had no family in Chicago Herrmann took it upon himself to treat her as if she was his daughter. However things were all about to change when YNs ex boyfriend came into the picture.....

I walk into the firehouse having not slept the night before. My ex keeps messaging me, even though I'm ignoring him. I've even blocked him twice and he just finds a new way to message me.

On top of all of that today I feel faint and rather sick. I feel like I'm in a constant state of anxiety

"Morning" I weakly smile greeting everyone who arrived before me

"You ok YN?" Gabby asks frowning

"Yeah just super tired today. Didn't sleep well last night"

"You sure? You look kinda pale"

"I'm fine Gabby don't worry" I walk passed her and to the kitchen area to grab a bottle of water. My phone buzzes once again sending even more anxiety through me, this time it's a phone call

"You not going to answer that?" I turn around and see Kelly walking over to me with a smile

"No it's not important" before Kelly can reply the alarm sounds telling everyone to head out

"I'll see you in a bit" Kelly says walking out of the firehouse. I let out a breath and look at my phone full of texts and miss calls off my ex. Feeling super sick and tired I head into Kelly's office and get into his bed, leaving my phone on a side table.

I wake up to my phone buzzing again, I'm so close to throwing it out of the window. I get up and head back into the main area of the firehouse where I see everyone eating

"Hey your looking a little better. Go grab yourself some food" Gabby smiles

"Im not hungry"

"YN you need to eat" Kelly says worriedly

"I feel a little sick today so I'm good"

"YN..."

"Kelly. Seriously I'm fine" I try to give him a small smile. I sit next to Gabby who ends up giving me a sandwich

"Eat" she says. Sighing I take the sandwich and nibble at it. Conversations start flowing when I feel a nudge "everything ok?"

"Im..."

"Don't say your fine. What's going on?"

"Can we talk privately?"

"Course. Hey guys I'm going to take YN to the ambo, just take her vitals" Gabby announces

"You said everything was fine" Kelly says standing up

"It is"

"I just want to check her over, said she feels sick and she's tired today. Just want to be sure"

"Well let's go then" I give Gabby a look

"No you stay and eat. If she isn't good I'll let you take her home, but you better eat up before Otis ends up eating your food" Kelly frowns sitting back down and I follow Gabby to the ambo. I sit down on the bed and she sits next to me "what's going on?"

"My ex has been phoning me and texting me" I quietly say

"As in stalker, creepy ex?" I give Gabby a nod "shit. Ok and I assume Kelly doesn't know?"

"Why should he need to know?"

"Come on YN. We're not blind. You and Kelly are obviously a think"

"No. We never officially made us a thing"

"But your going on dates. You kissed. Your always over at each others house. Don't kid yourself, but you need to tell him, he's worried about you"

"I know. Ok. I'll tell him tonight"

That evening we watch TV and order chines, even though I just seem to be picking at it. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, but when I return Kelly is fuming, somethings happened

"Kel?"

"So your not gonna tell me?" shit he knows

"I was going to tell you..."

"Bullshit"

"I was Kel I spoke to Gabby and..."

"Gabby knows!" he shouts. I start to shake a little "so you've been playing me and Gabby knows"

"Playing you? What are you...?"

"Don't act dumb. You've just admitted that you've been cheating on me"

"Cheating? What no? I mean we're not even together are we?"

"Fuck YN of course we were" this shocks me

"Were?"

"I don't give cheaters a second chance" my eyes start to tear

"I haven't, it's not..." I splutter

"Save it YN"

"But Kelly I haven't..." before I can finish my sentence Kelly walks out of my place and leaves, probably heading to Mollys.

[smootnytechnik]

The Hand that slipped (upon your bloodied head) - chapter 17 (fragment)

I'm pretty sure I forgot to post the last chapter here... Oh well

"So... He didn't ask you to kill us too, right...?" Mumbo asked, nervously fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. His eyes kept diverting to his sunny yellow wristband, as if waiting for a message.

"Naaah... It just felt too good to kill Grian, I had to keep going. Sorry guys." Joel grinned, clearly showing that he wasn't actually in an apologetic mood. It was not all that surprising - as a red, of course he had murder on his mind all day long.

"Well, I'm sure that when Martyn comes, he'll have some kinda explanation..."

"More like an excuse." Impulse rolled his eyes. "This guy is a stinkin' liar. Whatever he tells us, is probably the complete opposite."

"Excuse me! I can do much more than lying!"

Impulse, Mumbo and Jimmy flinched as they heard their supposed ally's voice behind them. Where did he even come from? Before they could question him, however, Grian immediately took a step towards the Southlands' gate.

"Martyn! Admit it, you told Joel to kill us!"

"Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about..." Martyn smirked and took a step forward. The gate was partially blocked, and a pretty obvious trap was laid for anyone who wanted to come from outside. Well, their visitors couldn't see it, but they probably expected to not be easily let in.

"Yes you do! Joel told me everything!"

"You just- Wait, what?"

"Yeaaah... Well, technically we're allies now, since we're both red." Joel smirked again and rested his elbow on Grian's shoulder. The half-parrot did not seem particularly happy about it, but he didn't comment. "So I thought it was only fair to tell him..."

"And you believe him, Grian?" Martyn groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"Martyn... You didn't tell Joel to kill us too, did you?" Mumbo asked, taking a step towards Martyn. He could feel his heart drop as the man backed off immediately. "You did, didn't you...?"

Martyn could hear his breathing get faster and more shallow. He wanted to disagree, but they probably wouldn't believe him...

"Joel, we only agreed on Grian!"

"Now, guys, we can figure this out together!" Scar suggested, walking up to the gate and attempting to climb over it.

"Scar, stay back." Jimmy said in a stern tone, his wings fluffing up. "You're gonna die if you get here."

"I'll be fine, I'll be fine!"

"No, Scar, I mean it. Stay where you are."

"I'm sure my magical crystals will help settle this!" Scar suggested, trying to get on top of the gate. "A resistance crystal for all of you, so that you don't die again... And a love crystal for you, Martyn! Cuz you need a little love in your life!"

Martyn immediately frowned and let out a gagging noise.

"Get lost, Scar."

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 11

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: well, y/n is kidnapped so there's that, weapons, implied unethical experimenting

Genre: Kinda angst ig

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

Wanda did get your emergency code and she practically ran off in the middle of her date with Vision when she saw your text. It only took her a few minutes to realize something wasn't right when she got back to the apartment. First of all the front door was open, no, not just open, it was splintered. Someone broke the door and Wanda winces at the realization. The landlord is going to be so pissed about that, but she can't really worry about the door right now. Her initial instinct is to call out for you when she enters the apartment but there's a sinking feeling of dread settling within her at the thought, reminding her of your SOS, reminding her that something is wrong. She scans the living room quickly, the coffee table is askew, the rug is half flipped, and one of the armchairs is on its back. She frantically pulls out her phone to call you and when she sees it ringing on the floor her heart stops. She wasn't quick enough to get to you. Something terrible has happened and she couldn't get here in time to help you. Without a second thought, she conjures a portal that takes her to the only other people she trusts with your safety.

"You two." She says. The sound of guns cocking sound throughout the room in quick succession. It looks like she's interrupted a meeting but right now she can't be bothered to give a damn about that. "Alright, if all of you want to leave this room alive I suggest you lower those guns because I promise that I could kill all of you faster than any of you could pull a single trigger." She says without even looking around the room at any of them. Steve's hands shoot up as he prepares to defuse the situation before it goes south.

"Lower your weapons. She's a friend." He says to the men in the room and slowly, hesitantly, firearms are put down but not away. "Wanda we're in the middle of something you can't just do... whatever the hell that was whenever you feel like it." He sighs.

"I thought you had security watching my best friend." Wanda says ignoring Steve's admonition.

"We do. Can we talk about this later?" Steve says.

"No, we cannot because if you have security watching her, watching our place, you have to explain to me how it is possible that our apartment was broken into and y/n is currently missing." She grits out.

"What?" The color drains from Steve's face at her words.

"Meeting dismissed." Bucky says to the room.

"Boss this is-"

"Out. Now." Bucky glares, not letting the random guy finish his statement. All but two men scurry out of the room quickly.

"Y/n's missing? You're sure?" Steve asks.

"Positive. I was out on a date and she sent me an SOS message, I got there and our front door was broken, furniture was overturned and her phone was dropped on the floor when I tried to call her."

"Can you find her? Like with magic, I mean?" Steve asks.

"Maybe." Wanda says.

"Maybe?" Bucky asks.

"This kind of thing isn't exactly a one-step process, okay? Locating people with magic it- it can be a little complicated." Wanda says.

"You've never been here and you got to us just fine." He frowns.

"I've been inside your heads before getting here was light work." She shrugs.

"Excuse you?" Steve blinks.

"I won't apologize for it. You wanted to date my best friend I wanted to make sure you weren't going to hurt her. Especially after what happened with Bruce. She wouldn't consider seeing you otherwise. I'm the reason she agreed to that date that got yall together." Wanda waves her hand dismissively.

"You went inside our heads?!" Bucky asks.

"Oh relax it's not like I went through your trade secrets. I was only interested in your thoughts on y/n."

"You can control what you see?" He asks.

"Think of your mind like one of those rooms filled with filing cabinets. Every thought you've ever had goes in a file in a drawer in a filing cabinet, if you know what you're looking for you only open the drawer you need to open and knowing my way around people's minds is like my specialty when it comes to magic. And whatever you've thought about her that has you making that guilty expression right now Bucky I promise did not see it, this was before your first date with her."

"Invasion of privacy aside that is nowhere near our biggest problem right now so back to the abduction situation. You think you can find her, right? How do we help?" Steve asks.

"Unless either of you has magic powers you've been hiding, this part you can't help with. All you need to do is have a plan, a team, or whatever it is you do, have something in place for if I find her. I could probably go by myself depending on the situation but it's been a while since I've had to get my own hands dirty and why change that when my best friend has the mob to do her bidding? So just be ready to go so we can rescue her."

"Buck." Steve says.

"On it. Sam you're with me." Bucky says exiting the room with one of the two that stayed in tow.

"Clint I want you to find out what the hell happened with our guys that it was even possible for us to end up in this situation and see if you can find anything that will help us find her, security footage, something dropped at the apartment, witnesses, anything, Clint. I want answers and quickly." Steve orders the one still in the room.

"Will do." The guy nods and stomps out quickly.

"Whatever it is you do, Wanda, do it and try to do it fast." Steve says to her. Wanda nods at him before sitting at the table and closing her eyes. Steve takes a seat across from her, waiting for her to do something and hopefully quickly. They have to find you. They'll raise hell if they don't. They'll raise hell if they do find you too.

~*~*~

You blink slowly as you come to. The bright lights are overwhelming while you try to get your bearings, ignoring the way your head throbs. It's not the worst headache you've had but it certainly isn't making things any easier.

"Well look who's awake." You grunt when a loud voice fills the room you're in. You jump up and look around. Stark white walls surround you, except one. One plexiglass 'wall' is directly in front of you showing you the hallway filled with rooms identical to yours. All of which are empty, at least the ones you can see. A sinking feeling of familiarity settles like a pit in your stomach but you can't dwell on it long. You look around for the source of the disembodied voice. A camera stares down at you from one corner at the back of the room and you assume the voice is watching you from it.

"Who are you? What am I doing here?" You glare at the camera.

"I'm a scientist. You, if it wasn't obvious, are here as part of an experiment." The voice says.

"Do you have a name disembodied so-called scientist or is 'scientist' all you identify as?" You cross your arms.

"My name doesn't matter. And while you're in there neither does yours. You are subject AZM89273. That is how you will be referred to while here."

"Ooo I've got a serial number. How cute. Did you come up with that all by yourself?" You roll your eyes.

"If you think you're going to hurt me with your snarky attitude, remember that I am out here and you are in there."

"Oh no, sticks and stones my dude, sticks and stones. The snark isn't for you that's just my way of processing this whole straight out of taken nightmare situation, if it happens to annoy you in the process well, that's just a bonus. Look, personally, I already know there are only really, like, two ways this situation ends. I find a way out of here on my own and rip your throat out myself or if I don't there will be an army here in the next if you're lucky, 48 hours but I'd guess you've got at best 24 but most likely less depending on how long I've been in here already. Either way, your clock is definitely ticking. So I'm really not worried at all, you, however, might want to figure out an escape plan because they will burn this place to the fucking ground with all of you inside it, without a second thought." You say.

"You can make threats all you want but you're the one locked in a room." The voice says after a moment. He sounds snappy now like you're getting under his skin actually.

"For now, but like I said I'm not worried." You shrug.

"We'll begin testing in an hour." He forces out. If you had to guess, he's clenching his teeth.

"I'll be counting down the minutes! Anything I should study?" You watch the camera disappear into the wall, although you're sure you're still being monitored. "Alright y/n, got an hour. Let's brainstorm." You glance around the room. It's mostly empty. There's a bed and a clock on the wall and that's about it. Okay. You just threatened to rip out a throat so chances are they aren't gonna cart you out of here conscious. Which, likely means, sedation. They might use gas. That would be safest, they don't have to risk sending someone in here with you, but for all they know could have the lung capacity of a free diver. A shot would be risker but easier to ensure incapacitation. Either way, you probably won't be able to escape on your way to whatever testing they have planned for you. Your best bet is during the 'testing' or on the way back.

An hour goes by and suddenly gas fills the space you're in. Yeah, you totally saw that choice coming. You hold your breath for as long as you can but eventually, the sedative fills your lungs when they start to burn from not breathing. You barely catch two people in white suits entering the room before your eyes shut.

When you wake up again you're not sure how much time has passed really. A quick glance around makes you aware of a couple of things. You're facing the ceiling, you're moving actually. The lights passing over you are reminiscent of every drama ever when a character is being wheeled through a hospital on a gurney. Except this isn't a drama and while there are people pushing the gurney they are calm and quiet as they wheel you... wherever you're going, none of the chaos and yelling you've seen in shows. Your hands are also locked in place. Metal digs into your wrists when you try to move them. You don't want to make any sudden movements, maybe if you're careful they won't notice you're awake yet. Using your peripheral vision to the best of your ability you try to pinpoint where you're going, or at least where you are now. This is the one time in your life that you wish you had visited Bruce more often at the lab. You have no clue what the layout of this place is, you can't remember from the one time Bruce showed you around. Getting out of here might be much harder than you initially anticipated.

"-really think... is a good idea? Feels like... plan is going to..." Despite your efforts to focus, you miss parts of the sentence. Maybe you're not as awake as you thought.

"I sure hope not... all screwed." The response comes in broken too. You assume they're referring to whatever plan you are here to be part of. If they're so skeptical, why are they even involved? What exactly is going on here?

~*~*~

When Wanda's eyes finally snap open she lets out a gasp. Steve looks up at the sudden movement, waiting for her to say something, to give any indication that this time she was successful in locating you. She's been at it for hours and the longer this goes on the more anxious it makes them both.

"Did you find her?" Steve asks.

"Fucking hell." She breathes out.

***

Part 11/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17 @marvel-fandom23

[tagsecretsanta]

From @squiddokiddo

From @squiddokiddo to @lenfantdeverone

-Letters and Wishes-

Prompts used: Baby Alan writing to santa and Scott receiving an emotional gift. (kinda... Heavy leaning on Alan and letters though)

I'm not much of a writer but I hope you enjoy this little drabble. It has taken many twists in development that I wasn't expecting and has turned into this. Warning, you may need some tissues.

Ps. I've also included a little festive stocking filler for you, at the end. ₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

"Alan!! Get your ass up here!!" Scott yelled down the old loft stairs. What on earth was he doing?

"I will." A call came back. "I'm just writing my letter to Santa!!" 

Well that explained it...

Scott rolled his eyes. "Aren't you a little old to be writing to Santa?" He huffed as he lifted a large box of baubles. "We kinda need your help with the decorations up here!!"

"Yeah in a minute!!"

Every damn year... 

"You know how important that letter is to him." Virgil interjected "Let him finish it, I'm sure we can manage."

"Fine but you're picking up the slack for him." Before Virgil could protest, his brother had shoved the box of baubles into his arms. "Check those will ya, want to make sure none of them are broken."

"Well if they weren't broken before they definitely are now..." John shot from the other side of the loft, he'd assigned himself the task of fairy light maintenance and hadn't looked up from his work for ages. "Some of those decorations are are family heirlooms Scott, be a little more gentle will you?"

Scott turned on his heel dramatically "Can you blame me John??" He stomped over to the astronaut in question, the floor boards squeaking under his footfall took away any sense of seriousness there may have been. "We don't have much time to get all of these decorations up and since we're missing a pair of hands we..." Scott paused as he mentally counted his brothers " Wait where's Gordon?."

Just as if a sparkly Cuthulu had been summoned, a tinsel covered form raised it's head out of one of the larger boxes.

"Here, I'm trying to find the ends of this tinsel, it's damn near impossible." He wriggled about in the shimmery material causing the box to topple over, various decorations spilling out across the floor.

"Little help?"

John and Virgil came to his aid, pulling him up and untying him from his sparkly prison while Scott handled the scattered trinkets. As he was scooping the last few up, something caught his eye. An envelope, red with crudely scrawled writing on the front. He picked it up and read the address.

"To Mr S Claus, the North Pole."

"Wait Grandma actually kept those letters? Weren't they basically just our requests for toys?" Virgil asked removing the last bit of tinsel from his brother.

"Oh, this should be good." Gordon grinned "Open it, let's see if we can guess who's it is just by the list of toys they wanted!!"

Curious about it's contents, Scott proceeded to open the envelope, being careful not to damage it. He pulled out the letter inside, glitter and sequins spilling out and onto the floor. Another mess he'd have to clean up...

"Well that rules John out." Gordon giggled and John shot him a look.

"I thought glitter would be too distracting for him, remember I really wanted that telescope and I wanted to make sure that I got the message across clearly."

Scott shushed them and began to read the letter aloud.

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

Dear Santa

What I really want for Christmas is my daddy to come back. He was trying to save someone and he went missing but Virgil said that your magic doesn't work that way and you wouldn't be able to bring him back. Even if you really really really wanted to.

So instead I want to ask for this. 

Please could you tell John come home for Christmas? He hasn't left Thunderbird 5 since dad disappeared.

Can you ask Virgie to play us some carols on the piano? I haven't heard him play in a very long time and grandma loves carols.

Can you make Gordon smile again? He used to play with me all the time and make me laugh but now he always says too tired to hang out with me. I think he might actually be upset.

Can Scotty have a break. He's been working all the time for ages and ages and he always seems angry or sad. He has so much nasty paperwork to do and when he's not doing that he's flying Thunderbird 1 and saving people.

This Christmas I want him to relax, it's not fair that he has to be so busy. Grandma says that he's going to work himself to the bone and he's already really boney. I don't want my brother to turn into a skeleton.

My daddy used to always used to help me write to you. I'm going to write you a letter every year for him, even when I'm 108 years old.

Love Alan Tracy.

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

At the lounge table, Alan gazed down at his masterpiece, it was perfect, best letter he'd ever written along with the best glitter glue art he'd ever made. 

He sat for a moment, admiration turning into embarrassment, thinking about what Scott had said. He would be 16 next year, practically an adult, he was definitely way too old to be writing letters to Santa Claus, he stopped believing in the magical bearded gift wizard years ago. But he didn't want to stop.

He missed dad. 

A gentle hand on his shoulder halted the spiralling thoughts. He turned to see his grandma's warm smile.

"Why the long face kid? Your letter is looking amazing this year." She said softly, gently pushing the discarded art supplies aside to get a good look at her grandson's creation.

"Grandma, I-". He paused, not being able to find the words. "Don't you think I'm too old for this? To be writing letters to a man I know doesn't exist?"

She knelt to his level and pulled him close rubbing his back soothingly.

"You can never be too old for something you enjoy, sweetheart."

"I just feel like dad would have wanted me to be more useful now that I'm older, ya know. We don't get a lot of time to have Christmas, I could be decorating or making lunch or helping prepare for the winter rescue rush..." He swallowed, tears begining to brim, trying not to let them spill. "want to honour dad, I want to remember him."

Grandma Tracy pulled away to meet the boy's gaze.

"Alan, writing those letters is honouring your dad. I know he valued hard work and did everything in his power to make Christmas happen every year but what he loved most of all was taking some time out to write your letters to Santa with you."

Alan remained silent.

"And if it's what you love too then it's what he would have wanted, to know that you're doing something you love whether it's useful-" she gestured some air quotations "or not."

She gently cupped her grandson's face in her hands and brushed away his tears. Big blue eyes gazed into hers.

"He'd be so proud of you Alan."

The old lady reached to plant a kiss on his forehead and Alan sniffled a watery smile before drying his eyes.

"Now then if you're finished with your letter, why don't you go see if your brothers need your help." She stood picking up the sparkly paper from the table and slipping it into an envelope, red just like all the ones that came before. "I can't wait to see what you make next year."

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹

Scott swallowed struggling to read the last few words aloud.

"Love Alan Tracy..." 

The silence was deafening. The nostalgic guessing game long forgotten in the hopeful words of an eight year old boy.

Scott dried his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "I had no idea... I..."

"I don't think anyone did." Virgil added his arm snaking around his brother's frame.

Gordon and John were still sat on the floor the younger's face buried into the older's shoulder, both silent in mutual disbelief.

"After all that pain, all he was worried about was us..."

The sound of footsteps thudding up the loft stairs brought them back to the present as Alan appeared at the top step.

"Hey guys, I've finished my letter and-"

Four pairs of tearful eyes turned to meet him.

"Uhh... What's going on?" He gingerly stepped towards them. "You guys ok?"

As soon as he was within arm's reach, Scott grabbed his little brother into a tight hug, clinging on for dear life. It wasn't long before the others joined them in the embrace, circling around the smallest Tracy.

"I'm sorry." Scott mumbled into Alan's blonde locks. 

"For what?" The boy struggled to talk under the weight of his siblings.

"Your letters, I should have known, they help you stay close to dad right?"

Alan could feel the tears welling up again, nodding sheepishly.

"He'd love that you're keeping up the tradition for him."Virgil said squeezing tighter. "And you'll never be too old for that." 

They all stayed there for a moment, just feeling the closeness and love of one another.

And there were those words again, it was a bitter sweet comfort.

"He'd be so proud of you..."

𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.𖦹*⊹.⊹

[mossy-mushrooms]

Monsvale county

Part 16

CW: VIOLENCE AND BLOOD

Ryu anxiously waited, he was curled up against the door as he held his knees to his chest. He couldn't breathe well, his breaths were shallow– his hands were still shaking.

We're they killing things? He doesn't understand, why didn't they tell him after a whole year of him being in their care.

He tilted his head to the side as he heard footsteps closing in. "Kid. We're all home now let's talk" Ryu heard Sam's voice, he was silent for a second not trusting his voice. "We can talk like this." He croaked out, his hands tightening on his legs.

... "That's fine Ryu" Yuuki answered.

"What do you want to know" he continued, his voice muffled slightly by the door. "Uhm.. why do you move.. specifically" his voice was shaky, he hadn't expected them to be fine with him not opening the door.

"We're hunters. All three of us. We uh, kill cryptids."

That made more sense, Ryu looked down at his leg brace. "And how do you know where they are?"

"There are rumors, newspapers and some people that have heard of us and.. our profession." Santos finally spoke up behind the door.

Ryu sucked in a breath— "I'm assuming we moved here because there's paranormal things here too.."

"A big amount actually.. we didn't think they were going to target you.. they never did before, I'm sorry kid." Sam spoke up, Ryu could hear his voice a bit more clearly than the others.

He glanced down at his leg brace again. His brows furrowing, he was getting peeved.  If it weren't for the fucking anomalies he wouldn't have gotten hurt— sure he did jump out the window but what else should he have done?

"We promise as soon as we're done we'll leave this place okay?" Santos tried to comfort him. "No."

"No?"

"No I don't want to leave. It should be safe after you kill those things." He didn't want to leave behind his friends– he didn't want to leave Calista. He couldn't afford that, he finally made friends.

"Kid wouldn't it be better if we left this place? It doesn't hold good memories- I mean you got attacked." Sam tried to reason with the teen.

"No. I don't want to leave. I have friends now- why can't we just stay?? Why– why are you even hunters in the first place? Some kinda saviour complex because you couldn't save mom?!—"

"Don't you dare say that!" Ryu flinched as Yuuki said that. Ryu slowly stood up stepping away from the door.

"Yeah of course you care more about a dead person than my wishes." He scoffs going and curling up on his bed. "Ryu!"

He just drowned it out as he curled up and closed his eyes.

....

It was dark now. He closed his black out blinds immediately after waking up, when he sat at his chair he checked his phone. 'no messages' he huffed and put it face down on the table. He started to scratch near his leg brace, getting more and more aggressive before he progressed to hitting his thigh as he let out a shout of anger and frustration.

He hated this, he hated that he was in the dark. He hated how alone he truly was.

Sure he had friends but could they understand – would they care? Should they get it? We're they ever kept in the dark for so long like he was? He groaned as he tugged at his brace, his ankle pounding in pain at the tugging but he didn't register it.

'Fucking liars. They don't care. How could they keep me in the dark.' he thought as he stared off, his face scrunched into an angry mask– his eyes snapping to the tapping on his window, he aggressively opened the window almost tearing it off of its hinges.

As the pale face with uncanny features stared at him he didn't wait— he hit his head so hard against the creatures that he was sure he heard a crack, he wasn't sure from who. "Die! Die! Oh my god just die!" He screamed as he grabbed it by it's fucked up thin neck before he started bashing it's face in.

His arms felt warm, he felt the mimic's claws digging in but he didn't give a fuck– he needed an outlet and this thing was it.

He let out a howl of anger as he moved to kick at its ribs. His cheeks were flushing red and he was gasping. His hands were balled up so tight that his knuckles were white. He heard cracks but why would he stop. And especially not when he heard running steps, the mimic tries to lung at him but he just gets closer, grabbing at the neck he's trying to rip out something – it's like he's not even there mentally, his pupils shaking as he keeps hitting him, his hands trying to find anything to hit, to rip at, to hurt. He didn't stop even when he was on top of the thing, he was so set on hurting. On killing it.

"Ryu!" Yuuki's voice was so far away to Ryu- it didn't matter that Yuuki was bursting into his room with panic in his voice. The only sight he saw was a Ryu on top of the mimic- bashing in it's already disfigured face, it was not moving anymore. Ryu's blood was on the floor and walls, small splatters from the wounds the dead mimic caused.

Ryu screamed out like an animal as he got pulled away, Yuuki was appalled– not at Ryu but just the sheer crash out. He held Ryu so tight as he struggled and screamed, not even any sentence just screams.

Yuuki's eyes were wide as he could hear the pain in them, he felt pressure behind his eyes- he felt like crying. As he squeezed his eyes he held the teen closer, he let this happen. The guilt burned at his body, his heart felt constricted— he hates this it feels too similar, too similar to how he felt when he- when they lost Seol-Ya.

Eventually Ryu stopped moving, he was gasping for air silently... Before Yuuki heard it, the only thing that could break his poor heart even more. Ryu let out a sob. His boy was was crying. Letting out wails. He couldn't think of anything other than shushing him and reassuring him. Letting Sam clean and bandage the cuts on his arms. But he never let Ryu go. He couldn't– he felt so abhorred at himself, even more so when he remembered how he snapped earlier in the morning.

So many things were just piling on this poor boy's shoulders, just one bad thing after another. And now he hurt him by keeping him in the dark for so long too. He brought Ryu to his room in a haze, tucking him in. He didn't want to leave his side, so of course he made Santos get food for Ryu. He didn't feel or maybe he just didn't care for the tears that slid down the planes of his face as he stared down at his boy. His son. He would never hurt him again, he would never let Ryu hurt himself again. Never have to lash out like that.

If he did he wouldn't know what to do with himself. "Rest okay? I'm so.. so sorry my boy.. please just get better.." Yuuki croaked out as he stared down at Ryu, his poor bandaged body, his face red and puffy from crying. And the scabs on his right cheek just broke his heart even more. For now he would not leave his side, not if he can help it.

[nocityfolk]

THE COWBOY CROONER FROM WYOMING, IT'S JESSE COLT !

𓄀 A STUDY IN: the lone son, losing your identity to fame, the loss of an abusive parent, overcoming toxic masculinity, & internalised homophobia.

independent & fandomless original musician character with multiple verses [horror, 80s, etc.,] | managed by rachel/rach, 25, they/them !

╰─▸ i. bio | ii. stats | iii. verses | iv. jesse's music | v. send memes! | other blogs: @ohkrateia, @butreverie | dash only ! | interest tracker [optional!)

[ psst. rules below the cut ! ]

hi. i'm rach, they/them, lesbian, 25, australian. mutuals, please feel free to ask for my disco.rd for plotting/ooc chatting! personal tumblr available upon request, too!

SELECTIVITY: i’m selective which means i choose who i want to roleplay with and i won’t follow for follow. tldr; i'm mutuals only. please don’t let this deter you, as long as i can see our muses going somewhere, i’m likely to follow back! / please don't message me, send me asks, etc., if i'm not following you. i will block you.

CODES: if you have a special code in your rules, i likely won’t send it. it can be kind of uncomfortable for me to do so but i can guarantee you that your rules will be read!

MEMES: memes are a great way to break the ice, and help build dynamics. i don't mind if you reblog them off me!

FORMATTING: i sometimes double-space and mostly use icons, but i'll occasionally match the formatting of the person i'm writing with. so if you prefer not to format or use icons, that's fine by me! i just ask that you use proper grammar and punctuation, and trim your posts.

RULES: following on from before, if i ever happen to break a rule, you’re free to pop into my ask & kindly tell me. i’ll make a note not to do it again. tell me gently and be kind, and i’m sure your sincerity will be returned.

IMPORTANT: if you ever need anything tagged, feel free to shoot me an ask, on or off anon, or dm me to let me know. i’ll keep your triggers in mind and make sure i tag them in future!

SHIPPING: i love shipping, & i would love to ship with jesse! i'm a big multi-shipper at heart, so he won't have a canon ship in his main verse. & please keep in mind, he's a closeted bi man in an industry that hasn't historically been the kindest, and in a genre that wouldn't treat him the best if he were to come out. i'm definitely open to m/m ships but in his canon verse, they wouldn't come without their caveats, unfortunately. that being said, f/m is a bit easier, but jesse was scorned in his last relationship and will struggle with trust issues. he's incredibly shy regarding romance/intimacy & will need a lot of encouragement, but he has a lot of love to give and he's a loverboy at heart!

USFW: this space will likely contain things usfw at some point, so i'll try to tag it as such when i can. side note but please feel free to send romantic/smut memes in if i post them, even if we haven't interacted. they're a great way to try out a dynamic, and i have a lot of fun writing them!

CREDS: screencaps, icon border, icon psd, dash icon template.

ETC: this is so funny to say, but despite portraying jesse as a cowboy-esque figure into the rodeo, etc., i've been vegan for many years and don't approve of it. aesthetically, it kinda goes off, though, so while i won't delve into the bad side of rodeos, horses, that kinda stuff with jesse, i ask that it isn't mentioned ic either! we're here to have fun.

[ please don't follow if you're: homophobic, racist, transphobic, biphobic, anti-palestine, pro-israel, antisemitic, pro-trump, etc. i'm not interested! same goes for harry potter fans/blogs.. ]

[420technoblazeit]

anyway masterlist of responses to ppl's random messages on this form

hunters grab ur salt or hwatever. call my blog the winchesters bc we're time traveling in this fuckin car

IS HTIS WHY MY POLLS KEEP GETTING WEIRDLY SKEWED. GOD. FINE ILL ADD A 'DID NOT WATCH SUPERNATURAL' OPTION

im about to write a fix it where htey bring back crowley bc everything the writer's team did post-his death made me so goddamn angry. he adn cas die in the same episode and theyre like teehee. the antichrist brought cas back but not him bc idk. cas is Special. adn then they dont let rowena resurrect him im so alskdhgsadgasdgsadglhaldga

oh fukc are there angel robots in this. i keep making posts about gabriel spn adn people mistake it for ultrakill mayb i WILL play htis

i cant explain but like. hte type of cat that's black and white but the black adn white kinda meld together yk what im saying? lik,e an oreo milkshake

i handed in two of my final assignmetns last night so hopefully soon! im hella behind in one of my classes htough so we'll see

ive stayed up till 3 about 3 times in hte last 5 days. one of htose was bc the spn season 1 finale was a two parter adn i forgot and wanted to get to hte part where they got hit by the truck, another was bc i got really into a session of apex legedns, and the third was bc i had a final assignmetn and pissed away the rest of the day spn postign so. i think ur right

hwy are you the coolest person here what the fukc. like omg what's ur numberrrrrrrrr

WOE, DISCREET SUPERNATURAL REFERENCE IN MY MINECRAFT SMP BE UPON YE. it's a good nickname htough c!aster uses nicknames all the time for ppl anyway lmao. we've already got old man for sleep, princey for lux, dog breath for kota, etc etc. it fits

so fuckign true broski n boy am i having a time. i bought a crowley print a couple weeks ago but hte shipping for a print was too much money so i just bought a bigass sticker adn ykw. it worked. i also found out htat the artist now draws apex legends so im winning here

holy shit wait is htis just. literally a copy of super smash bros fuck yeah ill play that what the hell. why didtn u tell me about this sooner

this was on hte submission for judas. um,,,,, ,,, yeas

no youer so right. somebody did send a drawign in the drawing box of like. their little furry oc with hearts saying 'kys' adn i laughed so fucking hard at it. i didtn post it bc i wasnt sure if they were serious or not, i assume htey werent considering how cutesy it was but uh. yeha

sedn it to me im srs. i used to be hte biggest sabriel shipper back in the day before my brain apparently decided that angsty drowley shippign is superior. i love gabe though he's my fave

also im not puttign it here but someone sent a monologue? from somethign called fictional googology???? ??

LISTEN BITHC. WHEN QSMP GET'S HTE LORE ROLLING ILL DO IT. OR MAYBE GO TAKE A LOOK AT MY FUCKIGN BLOCK PEOPLE U EVER HTINK ABOUT THAT??? ?? anwyay im gonna b on wynne's vault hunters server u should go check them out n give them a follow theyre really cool

jesus fucking hcirst. u might as well just shoot me in hte leg dog

[khodorkovskaya]

21.04.23

two things!

1. i got accepted into the masters program i applied for!!! no more maths! im gonna be an econ major now lol. to be fair, ive complained about not wanting to do this for so long. but now that ive been accepted, im relieved. sure, im not passionate about economics, but at least im gonna have a masters degree.

also the funny thing is, i thought they didn't even consider my application bc on the website it said that if your application is incomplete they're not even gonna get back to you. and for mine, i didn't provide any proof that i speak english (i don't have like the toefl or the cambridge exam or whatever it's called that's required) and they asked for a logic text (gre) to which i replied with "umm i do maths 💅". so my application was very much incomplete. but i guess my cv and cover letter blew them away lol. i have to say, my career does look quite impressive on paper.

but now the next question is, do i really want to do this program? because on one hand, yes, it's very prestigious. like it's very much lse vibes, like rich kids in polo shirts and moccasins kinda vibe. and it probably will look good on my cv. but at the same time like it's really not my vibe and it's super theoretical so idk if it's gonna be useful to me personally. like from an outside perspective, yes, it's great to have a masters degree from this school. but is it gonna provide me with the skills im looking for for my dream career in particular?

(but at the same time most people who have my dream career are engineers. but i feel like im too superficial to be an engineer. so idk.)

another school im looking at is not prestigious at all, but it has a very practical approach that's gonna be more useful to me specifically. but also is it gonna be more useful? because the practical approach is basically you have to learn everything yourself + they require an internship as a part of your diploma. so there's very little theory at all and i do need theory. so idk. lot's of questions.

2. im getting my very own ice skates tomorrow from the super professional skating shop in a different city! we're going on a road trip with my student and my bestie and we're also gonna get like all the accessories necessary and maybe even costumes lol. im so excited!!! like i literally couldn't sleep because ahhhhhhh !!!!!!!!

i'll show you guys the skates im gonna get! they're gonna like measure my feet and customise them for me and everything, like im gonna be a professional skater! i wanna get the brand that sasha trusova has so that i can boast about it to my cousin but i'll see what fits me best.

also we had a really interesting meeting yesterday and it made me think a lot about like... how do different types of people present themselves and is the way you present yourself a sort of dogwhistle for certain groups of people. idk it was quite eye opening. like if im an econ major is it gonna give off a certain kind of message to the people i meet? what is it that i want to signal to people?

also i went to the back doctor bc my parents think that my back is crooked and i need to wear a corset. but shocker, my back is completely fine! the doctor said that im a bit asymmetrical, which is natural for most people. but i have good posture, no tension and everything's looking good. and the exercises i do for figure skating (because of course i told him that i skate lol) are good for me. my mum still doesn't believe it lol.

i had a dream about B. i was going to the rink (can you tell im obsessed with skating yet lol) and i got out of the tram and he was there on his bike. and he grabbed my hand like "i miss holding your hand" and i was like aww and he felt very warm. and then i got on the bus but it started going backwards. and i called B like "i still have some time before skating, wanna grab a coffee together" and he was like "jacky, it's not the same as before, do you understand? we can't have coffee together". and was like ouch. and then i went skating (in my dream i already had my new skates) and then i woke up.

[angelmothman]

I started to really want to feel what it was like to be adored & coveted. Especially in a life where I think people see me as a second thought or a nuisance. Even if they didn't actually feel that way, they do nothing to actually show I'm not a massive irritation to everyone around me. But I also don't know if it's the idea of self image reflects onto the people around you & they treat you as such ?

So I'd obtained boyfriend on my second gacha pull.

Except for appearance I'd say he's pretty much exactly what I wanted. Though even that is slightly ambivalent. Of course being loose in parameters. It is wild to me to say things that I'd wanted & I'd pulled someone who just volunteers these things by his own volition.

Though a part of my issue is being solitary & not depending on others exactly for emotional support, nor ever really having experience in a physically intimate or romantic relationship... I feel like I never know what to say or do but he affirms he thinks everything is swimming.

Though one of my biggest complaints is a lack of real interpersonal knowledge. I'm very analytical, real & at arm's length. Which obviously negates building close bonds. So I can't really navigate a convergence of to give space neutrally while trying to make sure affection is present. I know this probably sounds like an oxymoron or an impossibility, or just plain weird & unnecessary over thinking, but I feel like the way my brain, emotions & processing work are a bit black & white for something like this... Even if I'm not usually a black & white thinker.

It's like, if I am going to want someone, then I just kind of want them & I don't really know how to navigate wanting someone when they're busy ? Because having the at arm's length approach is like; I'm ignoring you until you want me. Or perhaps neither of us exist unless you tell me we do. So if I am being told I have to be emotive to show affection, I have a hard time to handle if I don't receive attention. Like a cat.

Which I know is also unfair because it's like if I am doing something I am very happy to ignore everything else but what I'm doing, no matter how long what I'm doing actually takes. So it's equal effort & treatment that I would be treated the same.

But also my boyfriend works. Which is totally fine, but where it gets confusing for me is every work day is not the same. So some days he can talk to me randomly throughout the work day but others he can't. & it's even more confusing because I end up thinking if it's going to be a busy day then I should just leave him to it & not get in his way or otherwise distract him, but then he just ends up messaging me anyway ? It's just kinda weird to me when he disappears. Because I feel like idk if I'm being annoying or if it's actually a busy moment ?

& he swears up & down I'm not annoying & don't get to be too much, saying he wants a partner who is overbearing... But I'm confused when I think he should be off the clock & I just don't hear anything ? Or if it's like I say something & he never responds & then I say something else & he immediately responds ?

I think a lot of the problem is we're both just garbage at communication & have set a weird standard that maybe we both don't actually like but neither of us want to say anything about it for fear of over stepping boundaries ? Because since the beginning I didn't take the relationship seriously, moreso saying before he'd actually officially asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn't put too much emphasis on his existence or our interactions. So it was normal from the beginning that I would just randomly stop talking to do something else or just go to bed or something. & I think he then mirrors that behavior, which I don't actually think is really a problem either. He'd also mentioned having periods of depression which of course I have the same thing, & I believe with that was saying that maybe there are times he's kinda just not going to respond & it's not personal. I think maybe I would prefer if he just said "I'm a little depressed today, everything's fine & I don't need any help but I might not really be present for communication." Then we could both do the same. But if that gets put in place, it's also probably a good idea to be direct about other things too & start trying to be on top of saying when we're sleeping or otherwise in dispose. At least then I wouldn't feel ignored. I don't even want to bring it up though it's been bothering me, I just feel stupid to be bothered but also think maybe he does feel similar ?

I also have this weird paranoia about cheating that doesn't make any sense because I am cheating but also I don't think it should be viewed as cheating either. Which i understand is probably a very divisive thing to say. I think honestly what I wanted was more than friends with benefits but not something exclusive or serious. But I think he wants something serious. & the thing is it's very possible we could just be together for years, but I have prior obligations also. & I don't think in the long run it should really matter. I think both of my partners know about eachother but refuse to ask me straight up about it because knowing would be worrisome whereas without the confirmation they can fall back on ignorance is bliss.

Basically, I doubt my partner is going to feel any type of way but supportive or thinking it's hot. The only reason I haven't said anything is because I think there is going to be an immediate negative gut reaction before they realize it actually is something that doesn't effect them in any way. I think my boyfriend would be upset from jealousy but I think the longer we're together the more he'd have to accept it never effected our relationship in anyway & what matters is whether or not he actually wants me. But also anything can happen.

I don't feel good about it but I also don't think what I'm doing is bad. & it's not from a point of lying to myself, but instead weighing the pros & cons as an adult. It isn't done in a way to emasculate anyone or make anyone jealous or hurt, it's two completely separate & different relationships. Non consensual polyamory that I don't want to force but think neither party should care because it doesn't effect anyone & if they accepted to it then I think for them nothing would even change. So I don't know. I know I have to accept that I'm a horrible bastard man for this one. Even if the cost is virtually nothing.

But idk, because with that being said, I then shouldn't care if my boyfriend was cheating on me. & like, I don't think he even is, it's just that things line up really weird. Like I always had this weird feeling but idk it's probably nothing but I seen a cross stitch in his car & it just really looked like someone else was in the passenger seat despite him saying he doesn't drive. & he keeps asserting no one comes to his apartment & I'm like, by repeating that so many times makes it sound like it's what you're not saying ? But like I said, it really can't matter to me. It's not pulling a fast one on me or tricking me so much as it's adults living their own lives & making their own decisions. Even if I knew I wouldn't say anything either because why is that my business ?

But idk because I also know I'm just a paranoid guy. Like, I really don't think he lies to me. But I don't lie to him either. Like in the beginning I told him I was never going to look at his phone because it's not my business & is that setting myself up for something ? But he's lent his phone screen in my direction & I'm pretty sure once I saw pictures of a women who looked nothing like me & idk what that was or like how I guess he has a Facebook that he was unclear to me about. But again, these are all petty kid irritants. Like, it kinda looked like he was looking at porn & like word okay, if he had porn open, what do I care ? & like word, we don't need to be Facebook friends & I think it might actually be better for both of us if we aren't. But I'd also seen conversations with other women & it makes me feel insane because it's like damn dude, I'm an adult, why am I getting silly about this ? Like, I know it's all meaningless. I don't know why I even get to thinking about it & then I get mad at myself cos I'm like damn, you're thirty, what are you even being like this over ? But one was a women thanking him for something, which again, I'm sure it's nothing. But then it also have me thinking like he told me he was friends with one of his exes, which I also don't think means anything at all because he already explained the relationship & break up to me in a completely palatable way where's it's like I don't even remotely feel concerned. Though also never told me her name despite telling me everyone else's ? But again it's like damn, if you didn't show me your phone screen I wouldn't be over thinking & then I could have the ignorance is bliss lmfao

But also like, I'm schizophrenic.

I get really emotive, but not enough symptoms to qualify as borderline. My interpersonal relationships are reasonable & I try my best not to bother anyone or get in anyone's way. I don't try to hurt people or demand attention. But I did get weirdly upset one day after he snipped at me. I was upset that I thought he was going to break up with me over a joke. & I guess he did get weirdly upset which he later conceded was entirely uncalled for. I have a strong feeling he is the type of person who can't understand when I am joking & if I were to say something playful about him he may immediately take it as an insult & think I am out to get him. So I am watching his reactions & trying to make sure he knows there is no reason for me to actually say anything negative about him at all.

It may sound counterproductive but actually my goal was learning how to be a more caring & patient person. These trials are necessary for me & exactly what I wanted.

Like, I am constantly arguing with myself over breaking up because my natural state is solitary & rejecting love & affection, but I'm also dying for it. I really want someone to treat me with love & care. & all my reasons for breaking up are honestly petty & defeatist anyway. I stg it's just a weird powerplay I start to do. Like getting weirdly convinced someone needs to be punished when they didn't even do anything wrong. So I am being very critical of myself when I get these weird thoughts. I haven't told him though, idk if it's worth it to say ? Maybe in a longer relationship. It would probably be far too jarring to hear now. & I guess he say he's always worried about being broken up with. One day I went to his apartment & he told me he thought I was coming over to break up with him & I was like why would I even come over then ?

But idk. I'm selling underwear to perverts & decided I would share the underwear pictures with my goon squad & first my boyfriend seemed so jazzed & was saying I should always feel safe & encouraged to send him anything, whereas my partner kind of ignored me. But because the reaction was so good, I sent additional pictures the next day thinking I was being nice & doing a good service & I basically got ignored ? by both. & idk, I think maybe my boyfriend is worried about being perceived as objectifying me or putting too much emphasis on sexuality in the relationship, but I honestly felt so dissed to basically be ignored. & like, I guess he was working on an autism passion project, that it's likely he could not have been bothered with a boner in that moment, but it still bothered me. Like damn dude, just say "no boners now please, autism moment." Then I could be like "okay, let me know when I can send them later." Because to be fair, I wasn't sexting, I was just sending salacious photo because I wanted to. I was at least just expecting to be told "hell yeah" or something idk ?

Either way I know he's into me because he adapted to talking like me lol

One other thing that made me weirdly paranoid is talking on ___ has the away messages & statuses. There's a weird glitch that happens on my end sometimes where the conversations randomly disappear. It does make me paranoid to think he randomly blocked me for some reason despite him saying he would never do that because he's a genuine guy & would just tell me if something bothered him... He said he never saw it on his end but I think ended up changing his status to away maybe thinking it would fix the issue ? Because he never told me he was going to do that or explained it to me beforehand which I think is even more odd because he told me when he was deleting his dating profile so I wouldn't think it was something against me... Unless he blocked me on dating ? So now I never see when he's online & it's just weird to me.