#i keep talking about this show like its my late wife or something. like i cant help it ill literally be doing ANYTHING and it will vaguely

[roykiller07]

need an uncut version of tua season 4 thats actually the full 10 episode length it most likely was before all those important scenes got deleted so bad. like im assuming it will still be just as horrific of a season because lila and five happen either way but at least if they released an uncut edition it would actually make some level of SENSE. like who thought it was a good idea to cut out the start and end of klaus's character arc this season but keep the middle?????

[youcancallmeelle]

Are we on the same side?

Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI!!!)

Word count: 8K

Pairing: Separated husband!Joel Miller x wife!reader

Summary: Joel and you are trialling temporary separation due to repeated arguments with one another after nearly twenty years of marriage.

He returns to the marital home to do you a favour, flirting ensues and the sexual tension gets out of hand because of course it does.

You may need some clarification on what you are…

AO3

You put up the hearts, and I'll put up both my aces Not very far apart Still on different pages

Before having kids, you used to take every moment of your life for granted. 

You were just a kid yourself back then, when you had two babies with a boy who shared your class and you were so in love you couldn’t fathom a life without him. For years you were Mama, the person who fed them and changed them, bathed them and rocked them to sleep. You worked night shifts while the love of your life worked in the day, all so food could be put on the table and an apartment could be kept to keep you all warm and safe. It wasn’t until a few years ago when your kids gained their own independence that you slowly started to regain your own life back, now you were nearly forty and working a job that gave you more freedom even if the stress levels have gotten to you more than once and your marriage… well that’s a separate issue on its own. 

You’d spent the morning doing things you wanted to, thanking whoever that your kids were teenagers who could do their own breakfast and helped with chores without coaxing. You’ve been to pilates and the salon and had your infills done, your nails a glossy shade of pillar box red in an almond shape and your toes the same colour. You’d even managed to grab a Starbucks and sipped it languidly as you people watched from the safety of your car, enjoying your chosen playlist on Spotify without the bluetooth getting hijacked. The icing on the cake though? The fact you got to shower at home without someone barging in to ask for foundation or to borrow your strapless bra or your new Adidas Superstars. 

It’s mid way through Saturday afternoon that your relaxation comes skidding to a halt in the form of your jaded lover knocking heavily against the pane of glass on your front door, the irritating noise makes you scowl and you drag your feet to answer it. 

You crack it open, familiar brown eyes stare at you and yours narrow back. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask flatly, the male on the other side picks up on your terse mood and his shoulders rise defensively. If it wasn’t for the little disagreement you’d had a few days prior on the phone over something as mundane as renewing car insurance, you’d have probably been more excited to see him but the way he can sometimes undermine you really grates on your nerves, you hate that he gets so swept up in work that he comes home and talks to you like he’s your foreman. 

The minute he’d started questioning your choice like a fucking know it all, you’d merely hung up in irritation, refusing to answer when he’d called you back twice to apparently try and patch it over. You’d read the I’m sorry and I love you more than you’ll ever know text he sent after over and over, trying to figure out how things had come to this. 

Nearly two decades together, married, with children and a house. You and Joel Miller have been torn apart by too many petty arguments that end with you sobbing and him walking away, you’d had to call it and come up with a possible solution with the marriage counsellor before it was too late. 

He huffs and lifts his hand, showing you the toolbox you’ve seen many times with its contents strewn about somewhere in your house. 

“A little birdie told me that you’re in need of a repair.” Joel’s lip twists at the side when your mood seems to perk just a fraction, there’s multiple things that need a little TLC right now but he can certainly worm his way back into your good books with a good old fashioned repair. You can only assume the little birdie was Sarah or Ellie. 

You open the door fully and step backwards so all six foot something of him can meander through your front door, he wipes his feet on the welcome mat and toes his sneakers off, nudging them into the neat space where a tattered pair of Vans have been kicked off hard enough to scuff the wall and a pair of spotless ankle boots have been nicely placed beside your shoes. 

“Where’s the babies?” He frowns, looking around and noticing the lack of noise. 

You smile as you shut the door behind him as he refers to the girls as his babies, despite Sarah being eighteen and Ellie just turned fourteen. 

With them both being girls, he’s soft anyway but Sarah is his first born who made him a father and Ellie’s still his tiny baby who he’s soaked up every second of when she was a newborn because you both knew you weren’t having any more children.

“At the movies together watching Twisters, Garret backed out on Sarah so Ellie went instead.” You inform him, sneaking an appreciative glance from the corner of your eye. 

Joel makes a noise at the mention of Sarah’s boyfriend, never having liked him for whatever reason, you think it’s because they’re eerily alike so therefore clash. 

“Little prick will be back hangin’ around here next week.” He grumbles, placing his toolbox on the bottom step.  

“She’s just going through the universal thing of falling for a country boy.” You tease. 

“Well as long as he don’t get her pregnant before graduation then we won’t have a problem.”

“She’s smarter than us.” You say. 

“I know.” Joel agrees, you sneak one more glance at the country boy who got you pregnant before graduation. 

He’s wearing slim fitting black sweatpants with a worn grey t-shirt with a faded motif on, the chain of his St Christopher barely noticeable beneath it and his thick rimmed glasses are perched on his nose. 

You miss the hungry look he shoots you when you turn away, chestnut coloured eyes drifting low to the denim shorts you wear that he’s sure you’ve had since you were in your twenties. They fit snug and are contoured perfectly to the shape of your ass, your cheeks barely peeking out. What really makes his dick hard is the fact you’re wearing one of his sweatshirts, an old Dallas Cowboys one that you’ve always been particularly fond of. 

“Nice flowers. Who got ya those?” He nods with a smirk towards the vase on the side table that’s filled with blooming peonies and baby’s breath. 

The beautiful arrangement of flowers had arrived the morning after your petty argument with Joel, a gift from the universe if you will when you needed something bright and blooming to drag you out of the despair you were frantically becoming encased in. 

“Oh.” You hum and feign ignorance, reaching out to gently touch the edge of a baby pink peony. “Just a friend.” You smile vaguely, Joel rolls his eyes. “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

“A guy sent them?” He presses, shifting his weight, your grin turns devious. 

“Mmm.” You coo, feeling thrilled when that lick of annoyance flickers across your husband’s face at your flippant tone. 

“Who?” He grins back.

“I’m not telling you.” 

“Come on, I just wanna talk to him, I wanna know why he thinks it’s okay to send my wife flowers.” 

“Ex wife.” You snort, Joel glares at you. 

“We’re separated, not divorced. Y’know what, we’re barely even separated.” He disagrees, you bite the inside of your cheek in amusement. 

“Apparently you’re here to fix my shelves and you’re doing a whole lot of yapping, very unprofessional of you.” You goad, stepping backwards when he begins to saunter towards you with a certain look in his eyes. 

“I’ll fix your shelves, I’ll fix anythin’ you want.” Joel mumbles, stalking you. 

“Big promises.” You taunt, lifting your chin defiantly. His hands grasp your waist, pulling you to him and you let him, leaning up to wrap your arms around his neck. 

You love this, the playful behaviour and flirting since you decided to live apart for a while. It feels new and exciting, a rush that you felt when you first got together as youngsters just before your world flipped and you were pregnant before your frontal lobe had developed. 

He smells delectable, you can’t stop yourself from nosing at his bearded jaw where his cologne is the strongest. Joel’s throat bobs, his fingers drift upwards under your borrowed sweatshirt to feel the bare skin between your shorts and bra. 

As his structured jaw slides across yours and his nose just barely brushes your own, you feel his breath hit your lips and you know he really wants to kiss you but is waiting for you to make the first move. 

You want to, you really do but you’re scared of falling into a false sense of security when you haven’t even scratched the surface of your underlying problems that the marriage counsellor suggested needed to be covered before you could get back on track. 

Joel enjoys the way your head fits against his collarbone, loves the sweet smell of your hair and skin. 

“Fix my shelf.” You huff into his skin as you retreat, he sighs deeply but picks up his toolbox and begins to follow you up the stairs with his eyes glued to your backside. 

It almost feels strange for Joel to be back in your shared bedroom after three weeks away, he hasn’t been back for any extra clothes or personal items. If he’s come over to see the kids, then he’s stayed downstairs or in the garden with them. 

Everything looks the same which is a strange observation given that really you’ve barely been apart for any time at all but it’s comforting to be back. 

The bed is made in its usual dress up of plain white sheets with useless throw pillows stacked neatly, there’s a pile of clean laundry resting on your vanity chair but also clothes tossed on the floor where you’ve been indecisive. 

Joel whistles when he sees the closet door open and the fallen shelf leaning against the door, there’s a scrape on the inside wall where it’s collided and taken the paint off. It looks like a fairly simple job, the wall plugs have probably come loose over time and needed replacing, it’s not as if IKEA is known for making indestructible furniture. 

“You want the step ladder?” You question as he surveys the situation, rubbing the wall with his fingertips to see if the scrape will alleviate some. 

“I think so.” He replies. “They in the garage?” 

“No, Ellie’s room, she was trying to hang some fairy lights earlier but only got halfway before she threw a fit about the command hooks.” You chuckle, wandering off to go retrieve them for him, already certain he’s made a note to finish the job for her before he leaves. 

When you get back, he’s got some tools ready, his drill in hand already. He steps onto the bottom rung of the step ladder, groaning as he stretches. 

You observe for a moment, knowing it irks him, he hates being watched on a job.

“Jesus, it’s fuckin’ dusty up here. You’re a terrible housewife, neglectin’ your duties.” Joel pokes, knowing you won’t take a blind bit of notice. 

“You wanna know why we really separated? Because you neglected your duties as a husband to satisfy your wife.” You reply easily, Joel chuckles and looks down at you. 

“Oh spare me the dramatics, you’ve never been unsatisfied by me in your whole entire life.” He sings, infuriatingly he isn’t wrong. 

“I’m telling the kids you were being sexist to me.” You threaten, chewing on a sinister smile. “Ellie will beat you up.” 

“She won’t.” Joel grins, you mumble out a complaint. “She’s a daddy’s girl, maybe try your luck with Sarah, I’m sure she’d give me a lecture.” Not that you think he needs one, he’s the biggest supporter of you and his girls. 

“They’re both Daddy’s girls, the little traitors. Nine whole months carrying them and giving birth after what felt like days and days with no fucking pain relief and this is the thanks I get? Not to mention my nipples being sucked raw.” You grumble to yourself, kicking some laundry into a pile at the side of the wall, Joel makes you jump when he groans suddenly.

“Just sayin’ but your tits were amazin’ when you were breastfeedin’ - shit, they’re still fucking phenomenal.” He sighs dreamily, closing his eyes. “Fuck, you were so hot carryin’ my babies, I’d have kept you pregnant if I had my way.” 

You bite your cheeks to hide the satisfaction that your husband still wants you. 

“You can’t say stuff like that to me anymore.” 

“Why? We separated or somethin’?” Your husband frowns comically. “Show me your tits.” 

“No.” 

“Come on, just one.” He grins boyishly. “The right one is my favourite.” You stick your middle finger up at him.

“Asshole.” You sniff, walking back to lay on the end of your bed. 

You pick up your phone, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook posts made by the PTA at the girls school while Joel complains about wall fixings or something equally as dull. 

In the end, you get bored and toss it away, instead opting to enjoy the eye candy in the form of a senior (essentially) gentleman on a stepladder cussing about how IKEA can suck his balls. 

“Piece of fuckin’ shit!” He complains when the shelf slips again in your closet, he takes a calming breath and contains his frustration, you snicker at him. “How did this even break, sweetheart?” Joel huffs, changing out for a larger wall plug. 

“Dunno, it just did.” You answer vaguely, looking at your ceiling.

“Bullshit.” He quips. “Did you put too much shit on it?” 

“No.” You hum, shaking your head. 

“You’re a liar.” He states plainly, equally unamused. “What did you put on here that was so heavy it collapsed?” 

“Nothing, maybe it was just your shoddy workmanship to begin with.” You quip, not looking at him though you desperately want to because you can imagine the outrage on his face but you won’t be able to not laugh. 

“It wasn’t me that put it up.” He glares. 

“Sure, whatever you say.” You smile sweetly at him. It’s quiet for a minute, then Joel speaks again. 

“You put filled shoeboxes up here, didn’t you? After I told you nothin’ heavier than a few sweaters? ” He asks knowingly. 

Silence and then… 

“Yeah.” You nod, he sighs loudly and turns back to drill in a screw now that he seems happy with the stability. 

You watch him as he works, angling himself to see better and be able to use his drill at the correct angle. 

The muscles in his back move and his shoulders look unbelievably broad beneath his t-shirt, it hugs his biceps and rides up when he shifts to show a slither of his boxers and bare back. 

Your mouth almost waters and you press your thighs together but it obscures your view so you part them again to peek at him through the gap in your knees. 

It’s well known that your husband is an attractive man, he always has been. You’ve watched him grow from the gangly teenager with a backwards baseball cap practically glued to his head you were first besotted with to the almost middle aged and greying man that now works before you. 

Most nights when it’s dark, quiet and the house is still, you pleasure yourself beneath the duvet thinking of him, hips moving frantically against the whir of your vibrator. It can be any scenario of the long time you’ve been together, two decades holds enough memories to fill books upon books with pictures and anecdotes, some that you keep stored away just for you. 

Sometimes you dream about the three day honeymoon in Nashville you had when your parents forced you to get married before Sarah was born, back when you first lived in Arlington in a shitty apartment you could barely afford with you both working instead of attending college. Then there was that night just under four years later with sex so explosive that you’d had the fleeting thought you’d immediately gotten pregnant again, only to actually find out you’d been right two weeks later when you’d presented Joel with yet another positive pregnancy test before twenty five. 

You chew your lip, lashes fluttering and you’re sure he notices you ogling him in the mirror that puts your reflection in his eye line by the smirk you see. 

God, he pisses you off so much sometimes. He makes your cunt wet and your teeth grind all at once, you never knew that was possible. 

Rolling off the bed and onto your feet, you casually turn so that your back is to him on the ladder but you’re in the perfect position in the reflection of the mirror in front of him. He doesn’t notice at first over the sound of the drilling but when it stops and he goes to test the stability of the shelf, he freezes and the arm holding his drill drops limply to his side. 

He sees you begin to strip down in the mirror, shimmying your shorts down and then yanking off your oversized sweater. Joel freezes, gulping when you turn away to unclip your bra, the expanse of your back is smooth and if he thought your backside looked good in those shorts, the high cut panties you’re wearing hit on a whole other level. 

“What are you doin’?” He asks when your fingers hook into the sides of your panties, they flex within the material and you peer over your shoulder at him, big doe eyes the opposite of fucking innocence. 

“Just taking a shower, I’m filthy.” You titter, holding his piercing gaze through the mirror. 

“Funny, you’ve done nothin’ but sit on your pretty little ass and watch me inhale dust that’s been here for the last fifteen years.” 

“Well, you could always join me.” You shrug, finally slipping your underwear down your thighs, Joel’s mouth goes dry. “Only if you want to, of course.” You beam at him and then sashay away into the en suite, Joel’s resolve breaks very quickly (immediately actually) and he’s yanking off his glasses and tossing them onto the dresser and plucking his t-shirt over his head in an instant. 

Maybe the solution is to fuck it out and he’ll gladly go as many times as needed, you always did need to be fucked hard when your attitude started to test him. 

The shower has been switched on and you’re naked under the stream as he finishes yanking both his socks, sweatpants and boxers off. He admires you through the glass, kicking his clothes into a messy pile before climbing in there with you, the air tight and hot. 

His big hands enrobe you from behind, long dexterous fingers gripping at your waist and pawing at all the exposed skin it’s been weeks since he’s seen. 

You tilt your head back from the water, resting it against his shoulder and pushing back into him, holding onto his forearms and digging your nails into his flesh. 

“Look who couldn’t resist, you bad boy. Whatever will the therapist say?” You mock, pouting those pretty lips. 

“You’re a goddamn tease, you know that?” He growls, nipping at your jaw and earlobe, holding the weight of your breasts in his hands. 

“If you say so.” You breathe sexily, dragging him by the back of his neck to meet your lips in a hungry kiss. 

His cock is trapped between his soft stomach and your lower back, smearing a pearlescent gleam as he anchors himself to you.

You moan into his mouth when he teases your nipples into tight peaks, plucking them and roughly cupping your tits. 

“I want to lick your pretty little pussy until you cum on my face.” He admits into your mouth, barely letting you breathe past the fierce kisses. Your clit throbs at his confession and you grab hold of his hand, guiding it down your body to between your legs where he teases your lips.

Your back arches prettily into him, the free hand holding your breast now grips your throat, forcing you to tilt your head back. 

“Ah.” You whine when the roughened pads of his fingers stroke your clit. “Mmm, there.” You hum, pushing into his fingers. He entertains you, dipping his fingertips to your honey slick hole and back up again, dragging the gooey wetness to smother on your clit until it’s hardened and desperate to be sucked on like candy. 

“Bet you could cum like this.” He says gruffly, beard scratching at your shoulders and neck, wherever he greedily kisses your dewy wet skin. 

“Wanna cum on you, Joel.” You whine, reaching behind you to grasp his thickness. He ruts into your hand, smearing more stickiness that you want to lick away from his tip. 

You absorb him similarly to a plant and the sun, the bulk of his form plastered against your back so big and strong, skin sun kissed and warm. He’s safety to you, every single thing about him, everything familiar that you know. 

“Needy little slut.” He whispers, your core becomes aflame at the debauchery, you nod in confirmation. “Oh, you agree? You just need a cock to sit on and your shitty attitude will be right as rain?” 

“Only your cock.” You whine, flicking your thumb against the underside of him, tracing out a vein you’re very familiar with. 

“Yeah, baby. Only mine, I know, I know.” His sweet breath is hot against your cheek as he pants, fingers strumming your clit faster. “You wanna cum for me, baby? Show me how good you can be?” You hum and nod, knees almost buckling, this is the fastest you’ve approached orgasm since being separated. 

“Gonna cum, Joel.” You say huskily, hips bucking into his hand until it’s only been two seconds since your revelation and you’re cumming - wet and sticky - into the palm of his hand. His mouth is on yours, you’re moaning and moving erratically, Joel’s cock is dribbling a steady stream of pre cum into your hand where you’re gripping his shaft. 

“Sexy little thing.” Joel husks into your ear, biting the lob as you heave for air, slowly undulating your hips as you ride the last wave of your peak against his hand. “Good girl.” He praises, taking his hand away when you weakly push at his wrist. He lifts it in front of you, fingers webbed with your cum, runny and clear. You catch his hand, slipping his index and middle finger into your mouth, sucking them clean as he groans and ruts into the hand still around him, the cool palladium of his wedding ring bumps against your cupids bow as you suckle. 

You slip his fingers out of your mouth, letting them drag down your chin and back to your tits. “Fuck me.” You demand haughtily, eyeing him. 

“I’ll fuck you, baby.” He confirms, softer than you were expecting, he meets you for a kiss and you suck on the plumpness of his bottom lip before turning away. Joel slicks his hair back under the spray and then begins to trace out the curve of your waist and the fullness of your ass, you feel his hand bump you knuckle first where he fists himself to complete mast and then he runs the length of himself through your pussy, hissing at the wet heat that awaits him but he pauses, retracting back unsure. 

“You want me to wear a condom?” And you freeze, looking over your shoulder in distress. 

“Have you been with other people?” You frown, your heart suddenly sinking into your stomach, making your guts twist with nausea. Joel frowns down at you, blinking away the water clinging to his lashes. 

“Course not.” He answers, you relax. “…Have you?” Joel presses.

“Absolutely not.” You state firmly. “So get inside me.” You demand, turning away to place your hands on the tiles. You feel him press kisses to your shoulders as the tip of his cock brushes your ass again, you sigh and push back into him. “Please, baby.” You beg, feeling him smile into your skin. 

“I think you’re tryin’ to baby trap me.” Joel says playfully, pulling your hips against him so that your back arches just so. 

“You had a vasectomy after Ellie, idiot.” Your hips press insistently against him and you reach back to tug at his length, your fingers barely wrapping around the girth. “Now get your dick inside me, Joel.” You demand. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He leans down a fraction and slicks himself up, the entire length of him slipping against your pussy lips once more and nudging your clit. “Fuuuuck.” Joel groans when he does it again and the head of him catches on your hole, slipping inside just a fraction. 

“Oh my god.” You pant, your forehead dropping to rest against the cool tiled as he fills you completely. It’s a tight fit, after over three weeks of no sex with him your body is near to combustion.

You wonder if the lack of sex has attributed to the arguments, both working long hours at your respective jobs and not having the time for the normal intimacy you usually share. 

This is exactly what you’ve been wanting in the weeks you’ve been apart; a carnal desire to have your husband close. 

His grunt in your ear sets something off in you, the relief he feels directly felt by you. 

You whimper at the first thrust after he’s settled within your velvet lined canal, body pressed between him and the wall. 

It won’t ever be like this with anyone else, you think to yourself - the way Joel fits within you, around you and alongside you. 

“Like that.” You pant, pressing back. He grunts into your ear in such a manly way that you reach back to yank on his hair, he growls into your neck and fucks into you harder. 

He’s so strong it makes your head spin, this gorgeous man with a heart of gold that loved you when you were young, married you and gave you two babies, helped you create a comfortable life for your family. 

It’s overwhelming; that sensation of being full and enveloped within the heat of his radius. 

You’ve missed everything about him; his smell, his voice, the way he tastes. You’ve ached for the things you’ve harmlessly bickered about before, such as underwear outside of the hamper, smudges of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror after a deep clean, crumbs on the island. 

You don’t mean to let your emotions get the best of you but your eyes well and your throat tightens, your chest constricts something fierce. 

The sob that erupts out of your chest can’t be disguised by the noise of the water hitting the floor at your feet or the soft groans of Joel, not the breathless whines from yourself either. 

It’s a raw noise, jagged at the edges so much that it hurts leaving your throat. 

“Honey?” Immediately Joel has stopped moving and withdrawn, spinning you around to cup your cheeks. “Why are you cryin’?” He presses insistently, thumbs trying to swipe away your tears. Your cheeks are aflame, embarrassed to have spoilt such an intimate moment after so long. 

“I just - I just missed you.” You whimper, tucking your nose into his bicep. He cradles you to him softly beneath the spray, hushing you gently. This makes you cry more, thinking about how he’s held your babies like this; tenderly like they’re the most fragile  beings made entirely of glass. “Everything feels wrong! And… and…” You sniffle wetly. “And I can’t sleep properly without you and your dumb old man snoring!” 

“Oh, baby.” He chuckles into your hair. 

“I don’t like the whole limited contact stuff either.” You mumble. 

“Neither do I but it’s what was suggested and I think we need to try it, if we don’t like it then that’s a good sign.” He tries to pick your mood up, you pout and nod, leaning into his touch. 

“I’m scared we won’t fix this and I’ll have to watch you start dating someone else.” 

“I’m not gonna date anyone else, lady. I only want you, I’ve only ever wanted you.” He tells you. 

“That’s not true.” You hiccup. “Brandi Neil wanted you and you were going to go to Homecoming with her.” 

“Fuckin’ - that was literally over twenty somethin’ years ago and I went with you in the end!” He huffs indignantly. “Come on, let’s get dry and we can talk some more.” Joel guides you out of the shower with a gentle hand, turning off the water and handing you a towel. He leans over on more than one occasion to peck your lips, he smooths his thumbs beneath your eyes to wipe away the mascara that’s ran in the shower from the steam. 

Once you’re both relatively dry, there’s an awkward shift in the air as you’re both naked still and Joel looks very much aroused, half hard cock swaying as he moves. 

You saunter back to the bed, peering over your shoulder to see that you’ve captured his attention intently and he gulps as you climb onto the mattress, briefly resting on all fours for a split second, wet pussy drooling and exposed before turning onto your back. 

You stretch out against the sheets not dissimilar to a renaissance painting, skin dewy with a look on your face that Joel wants to savour. 

He climbs atop the mattress with you, pushing your thighs apart to settle between them. His warm mouth finds your nipples, sucking them and biting gently, you stretch and arch into him like a puppet on strings, the weight of your breasts fitting in each of his roughened palms. You feel the brush of his cock sway against your inner thigh and you buck against it, trying to encourage him closer, you huff when he ignores you in favour of worshiping your breasts. 

“Calm down.” He murmurs. “We’ll get there.” He promises in that deep baritone which makes your purr. Joel shimmies down your body, palm dragging along your sternum and settling on your stomach where your fingers find his in a desperate squeeze. 

The broadness of him fits between your thighs, one tossed over his shoulder to open you up. It’s erotic how he looks with his mouth on you, silver streaked hair visible and it’s not long before you’re clutching at it, writhing and moaning something pretty. 

He parts your labia and licks slowly, using only the tip of his tongue, flicking over your clit and coaxing it from beneath the hood, sucking it between his lips and running his tongue repeatedly over it as you gasp and pull his hair, he suckles and there’s a lewd slurp thrown in there. 

You purr like a kitten when his fingers enter you, moving steadily and brushing your G spot with such expertise that your eyes water. He knows what you like, having learnt your body and its responses for the better part of twenty years. A gush of slick aids the smooth movement of his ring and middle finger, stroking you from the inside until it proves too much to feel so far from him. 

“Up, Joel.” You whine, tugging his tresses with more force than necessary which causes him to bite your inner thigh in retaliation but he allows himself to be malleable at the hands of you, kneeling between your legs and wiping the slick of you from his moustache and beard. 

Rocking back onto his haunches, he fists his cock at the sight of you looking wrecked, that deep possessive part of him that’s smug because it’s him that makes you look like that; flushed and desperate. 

“I won’t last long, honey.” He warns as he gets into position, wrapping both legs around his waist. 

“Don’t care.” You state, reaching down to grab hold of him and guiding the blunt head of him through your lips, teasing yourself before you notch him just right. He eases himself in gentler than before in the shower, savouring that slow stretch as he feeds you himself until the wiry coarse hairs at the base are dampened by your wetness. 

He drops onto his forearms beside your head, caging you in as he begins to move, the pendant from his St Christopher bumps your chin. You make pretty noises, clawing at his back in a way that leaves diagonal lines in various shades of pink and red. Chests pressed together, heart to heart, a rhythmic beat perfectly in sync. 

“Tell me you love me.” You gasp.

Sitting up, Joel guides your leg over his shoulder, kissing your ankle bone, toying with the dainty gold anklet there that was an anniversary present some years ago. Your back arches against the sheets and you whimper sweetly at the new sensation of his hips fitting snuggly between your thighs and the weeping head of him nudging against the sponged wall of your cervix. 

“I love you.” He groans, hands grappling your hip bones, forcing you closer like he can’t get enough, he looms over you. “I love you so fuckin’ much.” 

“I love you.” You pant back. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” His nose nudges yours, lips hungrily searching to slot against yours, puffy and wet. “You remember night one of our honeymoon?” You press, exhaling hot and tone wanting. 

“Fuck yeah I do, fuck - “ His hips snap harder and you keen. “Pretty as a fuckin picture, still in your weddin’ dress on the floor.” 

“Fuck.” You sigh, fisting at his biceps with slippery fingers. “Barely made it through the motel door.” 

“You looked so fuckin good, honey. Havin’ my baby and ridin’ me on the floor.” His mouth slackens and his eyes slip closed, clearly deep in thought. 

“I wanna do it again, Joel.” You gasp, fingers shakily circling your clit, hard and slippery. 

“Yeah, baby. We’ll have another honeymoon, renew our vows first and everythin’.” He grunts. 

“Baby.” You whimper in his ear. “I’m cumming, fuck me harder.” You say it breathlessly and all his carnal instincts take over, he fucks you that hard the headboard slams into the wall and takes a layer of sage green paint off. You’re loud through your climax, hips jumping and blood rushing through every vein like accelerant and fire. 

“Jesus, I’m gonna cum. Fuck!” He groans, fingers moulding into the mattress, orgasm hitting so hard it makes the edges of his vision blacken. “Fuckin’ Christ.” You kiss his throat from your place beneath him, licking his jugular like the fucking minx you are, biting a tendon. 

The white of his teeth is blinding as his lip curls into a near snarl, the pulse of warmth as he orgasms spreads within you and you pant, flushed from head to toe. 

You kiss him as he grunts to completion, teeth clashing. 

“You’re so good - so good.” You murmur into his mouth, frantically pushing his hair from his damp forehead. “You’re perfect.” You hum, enraptured. 

“That’s you.” He smiles, lip curving against yours. “My pretty little wife.” 

He strokes your hair and traces your features, eyes searching yours for something; hope maybe and you smile gently at him, pulling him down beside you once he’s withdrawn from the warmth of your body. 

You rest against him, cheek to his chest to listen to the thrum below. You count his freckles and you trace his knuckles, you kiss his exposed skin over and over, you absorb as much of him as you can, feeling fulfilled for the first time in weeks. 

Joel quietly observes you, you lean up on your elbow, dragging your manicured nails down the centre of his chest, he watches you with his arm behind his head. You pause and lean down to rest your chin on his sternum, blinking with those fluttery lashes that cast a shadow high on your cheekbones. 

“Thank you for my flowers.” You say, he smiles softly and reaches down to stroke your cheek with his thumb. 

“You’re welcome.” He whispers. “Wanted to do somethin’ nice for you, Ellie messaged me and said you’d had a tough week at work before that dumb fucking argument we had.” His long fingers comb through your hair, you rest easily on his stomach now, letting your eyes slip shut. “Wanna talk about it, baby?” 

“Not really.” You huff. “I don’t want to unload my problems on you.” Joel sighs in exasperation at your vague answer. 

“You can tell me anythin’, you know that.” 

“We’re supposed to be taking time apart to stop the fighting, me unloading everything onto you isn’t going to help that.” You tell him. 

“I think communication is exactly what we need.” He disagrees. 

“You’re starting an argument now.” You chuckle with an eye roll, resting your cheek against his warm skin. He rolls his eyes back but doesn’t reply, continuing to stroke your hair, twirling some around his finger. “Joel?” You ask quietly. 

“Hmm?” 

“What if we can’t fix this?” 

“We can.” He replies determinedly. “Nearly twenty years together and two kids later, I’m still so in love with you, whether we’re fighting or not.” 

“I love you.” You murmur. 

“I love you more.” He replies. “And I love our girls.” Joel adds. 

“Me too.” You shift and snuggle into him, resting your head beneath his chin. 

He holds you quietly, his touch a major comfort. You think back over the almost month it’s been since the marriage counsellor had suggested Joel move out of the martial house for awhile and stay with his brother, just so you could see if distance would be beneficial after the amalgamation of late working nights, the stress of parenting two teenage girls and life itself along with naturally getting older, you already dancing that line of perimenopause. 

The space had made you realise you didn’t want to be without him and you’d both seemed to realise that you didn’t want to split up, you just needed to figure out a way to make things work. 

“I think we should trial the time apart for another week and keep seeing the counsellor for a few more months.” You begin. “I’m gonna figure something out at work and reduce my hours, no more bringing it home with me.” 

“That sounds good.” Joel murmurs, twisting a piece of your hair. “I’m goin’ to cut my days down to four, I think the finances will be fine and I want to be around here more for you and the girls.” He tells you, you nod slowly and blink away the tears that have suddenly come at the softness of his voice. 

“I don’t care if we have to give up any extra luxuries, I just need you and our kids here happy.” You emphasise. 

“That’s what I want too, baby. No more arguments over stupid shit, I’m sorry for bein’ so fuckin’ horrible lately.” 

“I was horrible too, Joel.” You say. “We just need to keep working on things and if we feel an argument brewing then we should take a step back and reassess what’s caused it and find a solution just like the therapist says.” You advise. “Also we should make time for a date night every week.” 

“Sounds good to me, baby.” Joel agrees, tugging you forward. “Kiss me, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He murmurs sweetly and you go easily, moulding yourself over him to meet him for a deep kiss that speaks a thousand words and apologies. 

“Hey.” You say suddenly, eyes flitting over to the vanity where multiple photo frames sit. “You remember that trip we took to Seattle when the kids were little?” Joel follows your line of sight where they’re focused on one of the smaller frames holding two polaroids, one of Sarah and Ellie when they were eight and four, then another you’d taken of Joel on the pier with the wheel behind him you’d taken. 

“Yeah.” He says fondly. “That was a great trip, the kids loved it.” 

“What was that girl called that Ellie made friends with at the aquarium?” You smile as you think of a rambunctious Ellie, stomping around holding her Daddy’s hand in her tiny overalls, pointing at every fish she saw swimming ahead in the glass tunnels. 

“Oh er… fuck. What was it? Little blonde girl with a braid.” He recites, thinking back almost a decade. “Abby!” He suddenly exclaims and you hum, nodding. 

“That was it, they were so cute together watching the sea lion show, remember how jealous Sarah was that she thought all Ellie’s love was being stolen away.” You giggle, nuzzling his shoulder. “We should go again now they’re grown up.” 

There’s a comfortable silence as you bask in the evening sun coming through the window behind the bed, coating you in warmth while you lazily make out with your husband like you used to as teenagers in his beat up truck. 

You moan into his mouth when a hand sneakily skims your back and moulds to the fleshiest part of your backside. Sitting back to take a breath, you begin to kiss at his stubbled jaw, focusing intently on the grey patches and working yourself down his throat, to his clavicle and down his chest where he has yours, Sarah’s and Ellie’s name tattooed over his heart. 

He props himself up in interest on his elbows when you make it to his sternum, nipping near his navel and dragging your nails through the smattering of hair below it until you reach his groin. 

“You think you can go again?” You smirk at him, nipping his hip, sucking a small bruise into the skin above his pubic area.

“Keep doin’ that and I’ll be rarin’ to go.” He huffs, cradling the back of your head when you lick above his pubic area.

You move lower and his cock begins to swell against his thigh, his thighs tense when your hot breath drifts over his length. 

Just as you’re about to drag your tongue over the flushed head of him, you hear a car skim across the gravel driveway and you both freeze. 

“Shit, that’s the kids.” You panic, sitting up and swinging your legs off the bed to gather up something to wear. “Quick!” You urge Joel who looks equally as panicked as he yanks up his boxers. You find a long floral dress to throw on from the corner and manage to yank up the panties you were wearing earlier, the crotch becomes sodden with the semen but you ignore the uncomfortable wet feeling and try to fan away the flush on your cheeks as you watch your husband get dressed. 

You’re both barrelling down the stairs just as the front door opens and you bump into Joel as you skid on foyer tiles, he steadies you as your kids stare back. 

You and Joel try to act casual despite the feral things you’ve just done.

“You’re back early.” You squeak, very aware of your damp hair and smudged makeup. 

It’s a mere second before your daughter’s come barrelling full force towards the apple of their eyes, pregnancy and labour be damned. 

“Dad!” The girls squeal in unison, rushing to hug him. He wraps an arm around each of them, eyes slipping shut with contentment. 

“Hi, my girls.” He sighs happily, nosing Ellie’s hairline and then Sarah’s. 

“Missed you.” You hear Ellie tell him. 

“Hi, mom.” You mock unseriously, crossing your arms. 

“Hey, mom.” Ellie mocks devilishly, tilting her head back with the same teasing look her father possesses more often than not. She’s her father’s daughter, a carbon copy of him whereas Sarah is more like you. 

“You have a good afternoon?” You ask when Sarah meanders her way into your orbit, wrapping her arms around your waist. She nods against you and you tuck some hair out of her face, she nuzzles into you. 

“The movie was packed so we got frozen yoghurt and walked around Target instead, we got you some candy.” She says sweetly, rubbing her cheek into your collar whilst Ellie is resting her chin against Joel’s chest with her arms wound around his waist, whispering something that makes him chuckle and sway her from side to side tenderly. 

She stares up at him like he’s hung the stars and the moon just for you, you’re certain she’d crawl into his rib cage and stay there if she could and you don’t blame her.

“Thank you, sweet girls.” You beam. “Hey, are you both in for dinner tonight?” You suddenly wonder. 

“Yes, sir.” Ellie replies. 

“I’ve got no plans.” Sarah shrugs. 

“How about we Doordash something? Could eat it on the patio?” You suggest and Ellie cheers, Joel chuckles into her hair. 

“Even Dad?” Sarah hesitates as she asks, looking at you hopefully. Your heart breaks, Joel staying away had some serious effects in the first week even though they knew you weren’t going through a divorce and trying to fix things. Ellie acted out at school and Sarah shut herself away, both missing their father’s presence at home even though they saw him most days after school and on weekends if they weren’t out with friends. 

You’d never stopped them seeing him and wouldn’t dare to even if things were irreparable between you. 

“Of course.” You answer Sarah, Ellie looks between you and Joel curiously, her eyes narrow when she sees him smiling softly at you and clocks you blushing. 

“Whatcha both been doing?” Ellie asks slyly. 

“Hanging out, your Dad fixed the shelf for me.” You tell her nonchalantly over Sarah’s head. “So uh.. which one of you ratted on me for breaking it?” 

“Dunno what you’re talking about, man.” Ellie sniffs, you tug the end of her ponytail.

“Mmm.” You murmur, unconvinced. “Go get changed into something comfy and have a think about what you fancy for dinner.” You order, nodding towards the stairs. 

“Race ya!” Ellie bellows suddenly, pushing Sarah into you to get a head start. 

“Hey!” Her older sister shouts, barrelling after her while you sigh and head towards the kitchen, the peace and quiet officially gone. 

Joel gives you a flirtatious look and your heart jumps, your chest warms as do your cheeks. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” You demand, pushing his face away in the opposite direction. He chuckles and grabs your wrist, using it as leverage to pull you to him.  

“What? Like I want to eat you?” He murmurs lowly, you hum affirmatively. “Maybe I do.” 

“That could be arranged.” You whisper, he takes you back into his arms, walking with you until you hit the edge of the kitchen island. You pull him into a kiss, dragging your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

He growls lowly and hoists you up onto the surface, stepping between your legs, running his hands up and down your parted thighs. 

“The kids are listenin’ to us.” Joel whispers into your ear when he pulls away, nodding outside of the kitchen entryway where you realise you didn’t hear them run all the way to the top of the stairs. 

“No, we’re not!” Sarah has the audacity to yell with offence, you giggle into Joel’s t-shirt.

“Get changed before I make your Dad cook his famous spaghetti surprise dinner tonight instead of getting take out!” You holler back. 

“That was one time.” Joel complains under his breath. 

“Make us a sister.” Ellie shouts from halfway upstairs. 

“No chance! Dad got snipped after you anyway, he said you were more than enough trouble and you were barely out the womb!” You shout back, cackling when you hear both her and Sarah gag fiercely. 

“It’s true!” Joel adds. “I had frozen peas on my crotch for days!”

“Gross!” They both exclaim. 

That night, you sit on the patio furniture, with your husband and children, your feet cradled in his lap with glasses of wine and takeout with quiet music playing from Alexa, giggling and telling them stories of your teenage years and some of a time they’re too young to remember, planning a trip to Seattle they’re ecstatic over. 

You’re certain that everything will be okay. 

[kayhi808]

First Crush - 6

After the park, all Abby could talk about was her day with Bucky. Even when her eyes were closed, she kept chatting away, past her bedtime. Part of you found it adorable & the other part had you worried. Abby is way to attached for your liking.

Jason was an absent father, but that still doesn't mean Abby didn't miss him or wasn't affected by his death. He died in a plane crash. His daredevil ways that first attracted you to him was the same reason you were alone now. He wasn't brave & heroic, dying for his country or on a mission. He was foolish and selfish, hot-dogging it when he lost control of his aircraft. Most people dropped the subject after you say he died in a plane crash, assuming it was work related. He was stupid. Always chasing the next high. The next rush. He had a wife and baby at home. He should have been thinking of you and Abby.

You couldn't deny the attraction you felt to Bucky, but look at his job. He was an Avenger for God's sake! The bad guys he chases were much worse than your common criminals. The risks were much higher. You were second-guessing you decision in exposing Abby to Bucky. Not that you could truly stop it. Abby was drawn to him at first sight.

*****

"There you are." Bucky enters your office & sits in the chair opposite your desk.

Pushing your lunch to the side, "Hey Buck, did you need something?"

"For the past couple days I thought I'd see you in the cafeteria."

"Sounds like high school," laughing, "I was studying in the library." Bucky frowns at you, "I usually bring home lunch so i eat in my office. It's easier."

Leaning forward, "Well, tomorrow, would you have lunch with me? We don't have to stay here. We can go to this diner around the corner. Their burgers are pretty great." He picks up that you're unsure. "C'mon, doll. I know you want to."

You laugh at his ego. I mean, he wasn't wrong. "Ok."

"I'll swing by around 1p. Is that too late?"

"No, that's fine."

"Then its a date."

"It's not a date. It's lunch." He doesn't say anything, just gives you a look. Its a date.

******

The following night at the gym with Sam, Sam broaches a subject that the others were shying away from. "I saw you leaving with Y/N earlier."

"We went to the diner for lunch."

"So, what's going on with you two?"

Bucky shrugs, "Just 2 friends having lunch."

"MmmHmmm. Do you know what you're doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Y/N's a special breed. She's a single mother. She don't need you wasting her time. You take on extra responsibilities if you start dating her."

"Relax."

"I'm just saying, you can easily find someone else to kill time with. You string her along, she's not the only one you'll be hurting. From what i hear, her daughter is obsessed with you."

"We went on a picnic & lunch. We're still figuring out what this is."

"And that's fine. Just keep in mind she brings more to the table than just herself."

"Ok, got it. Lecture over?"

Sam shrugs and leaves the gym.

*****

"Mama?"

"Yes."

"When am I seeing Bucky again?"

"I don't know, baby. He's very busy with work." You feel a little guilty at how badly Abby wants to see Bucky & you've been having lunch with him everyday for the past couple weeks. He's been dropping by your office with his own lunch to spend time with you.

"Can I asks him? I can draws him a letter." You laugh but stop when you see the earnest little look on her face.

"You know what? That sounds like a very good idea. Maybe you can invite him over to watch a movie & then dinner?"

Abby screams, climbing on the couch to give you a wet kiss on your cheek. "Bucky comes to my house??"

You release a deep breath, "Yes, you can invite him here." She runs off to her room to draw his letter. You lean your head back on the couch hoping you made the right choice.

*****

LIke clockwork, Bucky shows up at 1pm for lunch with you. You slide Abby's drawing across the desk to him. He has a smile on his face even before he opens it. When he opens it, his smile freezes and he looks between you and Abby's drawing. You cover your lips with your fingertips while you watch him, trying to suppress a smile.

"Doll, you're going to have to help me out here. Wh...what am I looking at?"

"What? You can't figure it out?" Bucky is put on the spot. "You're lucky Abby isn't here." You tap the left side of the picture. "What's this?"

"It looks like guts and eyeballs."

"Bucky!!"

"I don't know."

"It's spaghetti and meatballs."

"Oh! Ok. So this is us," indicating 3 stick figures in the middle. "And...I need help again. "This isn't brains."

"Jesus! You're terrible at this. It's a bowl of popcorn. Abby is trying to invite you over for a movie and dinner at our place."

Bucky laughs so hard, he has to rest his head on your desk. "So, I'm not invited over to commit a murder, because I don't do that anymore."

"My baby does NOT murder people! I'm not sure I want you over anymore."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." He grabs your hand from across the desk & kisses your knuckles. "Please don't take away the invite. I want to come over."

"Will you be free this Saturday?"

"Yes, I leave next week for a mission, but I'll be here on Saturday."

"Ok," you text him your address. "Maybe 3p? It'll be after her nap & we can watch a movie before dinner."

"Thank you, I'll be there." He give you his charming smile & you have to look away. You hope this isn't a mistake.

Next Chapter

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @crazyunsexycool @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @ozwriterchick @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @enchantedbarnes @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan

[tellmyah]

I always see dbf!Abby but never dbf?reader🏃🏽‍♀️‍➡️🏃🏽‍♀️‍➡️maybe? Idk

༉‧₊˚. — this is so genius??? thank you anon ily

it all starts when you notice a middle-aged man with dirty blonde hair outside of the house across the street from yours, a look of disappointment on his face. he has many potted plants, maybe too many, and over half of them are dying. you stroll over to his front yard and he wastes no time in expressing his frustration to you, a total stranger who had just moved here with your family a few weeks ago.

“i just don’t get it. i water them every single day. it’s not like they aren’t getting enough sunlight, right?”

you hum in acknowledgment, and he steps aside to allow you to take a look for yourself. it’s almost comical how quickly you notice the cause of his problem.

“it has nothing to do with the amount of sunlight or water they’re getting, actually. look at the soil of the ones that are dying.” you kneel down to feel the soil of one droopy plant in particular– a bunch of faded red petunias– and gather some soil between your fingers. “dry as a desert.”

you spend the rest of your day helping jerry replace the soil in the effected pots over some pleasant small talk, in which he confides in you that ever since his wife passed away, he’s been struggling to upkeep her impressive garden. the hard work is done by the time the sun sets, and he invites you in to wash your hands and have a glass of water.

that’s the very first time you get to meet abby.

she’s about your age, standing at nearly six feet tall. even in her sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, you can tell that she’s made of pure muscle. initially, when she walks down the stairs and sees a random girl in her kitchen, having a conversation with her father about invasive plant species in seattle, she’s puzzled, but she recognizes you fairly quickly.

she remembers watching from her bedroom window while you helped your mom to drag a couch in through the front door. she remembers going outside to check the mailbox and seeing you, sitting on your porch, feet propped up on the short wooden fence with a book in your hands. she could never seem to take her eyes off of you any chance she got to see you, so, when she sees you standing in her home, she completely freezes. luckily for her, jerry rushes to introduce the two of you.

“i didn’t even know you were home, sweetie! abby, this is y/n. y/n, this is abby, my daughter.”

“hey,” she extends a hand, “i’m abby.”

you smile as you reach for her hand and shake it. “bet you can’t guess what my name is.”

abby’s nose scrunches up as she realizes her mistake, completely aware that she isn’t thinking straight. she can’t be too embarrassed, though. not with the way your eyes scan her from head to toe like a predator sizing up its prey. “cut me some slack, i haven’t had my coffee yet. anyways, why are you both covered in dirt?”

the night ends with jerry scolding abby for making coffee so late, and thanking you for all of your help before sending you home with a homemade chocolate chip muffin.

since then, jerry shows up at your door when he needs help or simply has a question about gardening, and you never hesitate to help him. he’s a respectable man who just wants to honor his wife’s memory, to keep something of hers alive even if it isn’t her.

within a few months, his garden is looking lively and vibrant and noticeably healthy. after a few more months, he’s able to do everything you’ve taught him on his own, but you still come visit a few times a week to see how it’s going.

each and every time, abby finds some excuse to talk to you. you aren’t blind to it, but you certainly aren’t opposed to it. she’ll compliment your hair, your outfit, thank you for helping her dad with something so important to him, and anything else she can say to get you to stick around longer.

it isn’t much longer until jerry invites you to a barbecue in his backyard. an hour into it, he’s standing with a few of his friends around the grill, some neighborhood kids are playing with water guns in the yard, and you can’t help but notice his daughter’s absence.

you excuse yourself to the restroom in the middle of a gossip session with a few older ladies from around the block. however, the first thing you do when you step inside is beeline up the stairs and toward abby’s room.

of course, you knock first, and hear a muffled “come in” from the other side of the door. you enter, and see abby sitting on her bed with her laptop open, clearly drowning in her college work. her messy blonde hair is in a low bun, and her body is engulfed by a sweatshirt that is at least two sizes too big for her. she glances up, notices it’s you, and immediately straightens her slouched posture. “oh. y/n, uh… hey. you look nice. like, really nice.”

“nice enough to make you come join the party?”

“not that nice. i’m dying over here.” she vaguely gestures to her laptop.

“you’re pretty for a dead girl.” you hum, walking over to sit next to her and take a look at the laptop. there’s a concoction of mathematical problems plastered on the screen from top to bottom. your eyes hurt just looking at it. “oh, abby, you poor thing. all i can do is pray for you.”

“why do i need to know what a logarithm function is? and since when is there limits to infinity? i thought the whole point of infinity is that it’s limitless.”

you decide to cut her off before she can get any more worked up than she already is. “what’s your major?”

“pathology. which, mind you, has nothing to do with logarithm functions.”

you huff out a laugh. “pathology… what’s that? something medical, right?”

“yeah, pretty much just the study of diseases.”

“that’s hot.“

abby stares at you blankly, and you stare right back. clearly, you have her full attention now. “why do you always do shit like that?”

“like what?”

“like, you know… ‘that’s hot,’ shit like that.” she says, trying her luck at a very bad impression of you. “calling me pretty. staring at me.”

“because i think you’re pretty, and i like staring at you.” you answer simply. “why? want me to stop?”

“i didn’t say that.”

you smile, eyes studying her flustered face, the pout on her parted lips and the reddening blush across her cheeks.

just as she thinks you’re finally going to make a move, you stand up from your spot on her bed and begin heading toward the door. “well, it’s always nice talking to you, abby, but i gotta get back to the party before linda thinks i abandoned her.”

“what– who’s linda?” she tilts her head.

“the lady from down the street. you know, the one with the blue eyeshadow and smoker’s cough.”

abby scoffs at the description. “oh, right. linda. do you really have to go?”

you lean against the doorframe and cross your arms. “i don’t know. what would happen if i stayed?”

this questions seems to leave abby at a loss for words. is there even a right answer? she could be reading too far into this, and end up looking like a creep if she spoke her mind– but then again, she could be missing out on a golden opportunity if she doesn’t. she’s wanted you for as long as she’s known you, that’s completely true, but saying it out loud is something different.

after a long few moments of silence, you stand upright once more and reach for her doorknob. “thought so.”

with that, you shut her door and join the party downstairs once more, leaving abby alone with a million thoughts and feelings. she can’t focus on her work. she can’t focus on anything other than the way you smelled, sitting so close to her. how soft your skin looked, how she gets goosebumps just thinking about your voice.

once the party has died down and she’s done helping her dad clean up, she rushes back up to her room (and puts away all of the schoolwork she never got to), so that she can send you a simple message from her phone.

can you come over?

[squerlly]

Fair Exchange Chapter 6

--------------"love shows us to appreciate what we have"----------------

Alastor x (F! wife doe reader)

The Buck & The Doe---------------------------------------

The Buck:

y/n has been avoiding me lately, she serves me my breakfast and hurries off before I get a chance to speak to her. I'm sure this has to do with what happened last week, I regret yelling at her like that but I must keep my shadow away from her, I don't need it causing trouble. Especially with what it did, I should have known when it was following her.

It keeps pacing through the walls of my office, eager to see her... because..., I want to see her. How soft her cheeks felt under its fingertips, her rosy lips and warm skin. But I made a deal I wouldn't touch her, and a promise to myself I wouldn't get attached, I can't get attached. Not when I have a reputation to uphold.

I hear Charlie starting something downstairs, so I stand from my desk and make my way to the railing on the top floor. While investigating I see poorly spelled decorations and sloppy streamers pasted around the hotel. The banner said "welcome dad" wich can only mean...

I faze to the floor and appear downstairs by the door, Charlie opens it and- "CHARLIEEE!!" Lucifer says while giving Charlie a life-squeezing hug "It is so good to see you!" "Hey, Dad its uhh- good to see you, too..." she takes a breath and announces his welcome to the hazbin hotel.

He acts so childishly with his color pallet of ugh... white, and his sad excuse of a staff. He looks around before spotting the bar I had created "What in the unholy hell is that!?" "Just some of the renovations we had done, adds a bit of color don't you think" he gives me a sneer "And who are you?" I faze behind him causing him to flinch "Alastor pleasure to be meeting you, sir, quite a pleasure" I shake his staff, cleaning off my hand from whatever filth he accumulated "It's nice to finally put a face to the name, you are much shorter in real life"

"Who- who is this are you the bellhop" How dare he "Aha, no I am the host of the hotel, you must have heard of me from my radio broadcast~" At the corner of my eye I see y/n beside me looking at lucifer curiously, she hasn't stepped this close to me in a while. "Nope I guess that's why Charlie calls it the Hazbin hotel aha"

I turn my attention back to the "fun-sized" man in front of me "Ahaha it was actually my idea" "Hahaha, well it's not very clever" "Aha fuck you!" Charlie grabs Lucifer and y/n grabs my arm separating us.

The Doe:

Lucifer the Lucifer Morningstar is here? And he fighting with Alastor... I pulled Alastor away trying to calm him down, he just scowled at Lucifer while I tried to pull his attention away from him and onto me. We haven't talked in a while and I assumed it would be best to give him space since he seemed quite unhappy this past week.

I frown, and he looks away with a huff, walking away from me. "Without Alastor, we haven't been able to pretty it up this much," Charlie says with a smile "Charlie has a unique vision, and I am happy to fulfill her bizarre requests~"

Lucifer growls and I just know things are about to get ugly "she is quite an impressive young lady, we are all veeery proud of her" Really Alastor, provoking the king of hell!! Really smart "Charlie why don't you introduce me to your OTHER friends," he says pushing past Alastor.

She introduces vaggie and the others, he seems really supportive of Charlie in an... odd way. Although I would have expected the king of hell to be a little more, scary...

Charlie walks up to me where I stand next to Alastor "And this is y/n one of Alastors friends!" Ouch... "hello it's nice to meet you" I say with a polite smile and wave, he shakes my hand and I hear Alastors static get louder. I feel somebody grab me by the waist and shove me aside before seeing the chandelier fall on the floor with dust everywhere.

I look and Alastor stands behind me, his ears pinned back slightly with a tight smile. Lucifer breaks into song, telling Charlie how he can help her with anything she needs free of charge, I step aside watching Alastor bud in and tell Charlie how he's better fit for the job. I haven't seen Alastor this riled with anyone other than Vox.

Their little argument over who is better was cut short when... "it's meee yes it's meeee, I know you were waiting for MEEE" I groan as Mimzy bursts through the doors singing.

"Mimzy!!" Alastor shouts from behind me, giving her a warm hug. "I thought I'd stop by, say hi for old times sake" "Of course sweetheart everyone is welcome here" Mimzy has been around Almost as long as I have, with her knowing Alastor when he was alive, dancing and drinking together like they're best friends "oh quite a talent this gal hoho, you should have seen her in her heyday~"

She also sees me as competition, its no secret that she likes Alastor more than just friends, its why we don't get along. I was never the jealous type, it didn't matter to me how close she got to Alastor, but its was the way she did it, Pushing me around or secretly judging me. I didn't like her because Alastor always let her get away with being well... a bitch.

I stand at the bar with husk and we both exchange annoyed glances, husk doesn't like Mimzy either, she's always teasing him about being Alastors pet. Charlie, Alastor, Vaggie, and Lucifer walk down the hallway for a tour, and Mimzy bounces over asking for a drink. She purposefully sits beside me "My my is that husker? Alastor still has you slinging hooch for him I see~ classic" She then turned to me with a frown "y/n, you're looking well"

My eye twitches and I grip the counter's edge "As do you..." She takes a long sip of her drink and then speaks "I thought Alastor would have got tired of ya by now" "And I thought an exterminator got you" She narrows her eyes and Angel walks over "So uh... you and Alastor are what friends?" He says sitting between both of us, exchanging glances with Husker.

"Well your words, not mine, but I think it fits" She stops and gives us a confused look "Why so surprised?" Angel gives me an ill-handle this look and I stand up to leave, and I make my way over to the hallway where Alastor is. I see Husk rush out passed me with a scared look and I stop, "Alastor?..." I call out, seeing scratch marks on the ceiling.

"Yes" I hear from behind me and I turn with a gasp "Oh my, heh you, uhm... ok?" I say holding my chest from being startled "Don't worry my dear just a small matter that's already been taken care of" he says straightening his bow tie while We stand in the hallway in awkward silence.

The Buck:

I look down at y/n as she toys with her fingers, and I lift my hand almost touching her. She looks up at me nervously and I stop, she so close in reach, I wanted to touch her, and hold her close but I don't. I drop my hand and speak "I apologize for my behavior last week, I'm above yelling at you for things you didn't do, I'm sorry..." I say and she looks up at me with those sweet soft understanding eyes.

"That's ok, I forgive you..." she whispers with a smile, my heart speeds up and heat burns my cheeks. What is the matter with me why am I acting like this, I have known this woman for more than 75 years, and not once have I had a reaction like this towards her. I'm the radio demon, I'm not soft and weak, I'm merciless and terrifying. I shouldn't be fretting over silly little feelings for my wife.

I grip my staff tighter, feelings for my wife... my wife "Are you alright Alastor, you haven't been acting like yourself" she reaches out and touches my hand, making my breath hitch. I have fallen for my wife, I have fallen for y/n heartfelt. This small, innocent woman who has cared for me, tended to me, helped me since the day I dragged her down here, And It took decades to realize.

"I'm alright dear, it has been a stressful week. Shall we head back to the lobby?" I say gripping her hand lightly, she visibly relaxes before nodding.

The Doe:

As Alastor and I make our way for the hallway, we feel the floor shake, and I give Alastor a puzzled look. He looks around and we rush to see what's going on, lucifer, Vaggie, and Charlie walk through a portal and everybody starts to panic. "Mimzy you lousy bitch, we know your in there!!" Everybody turns their attention to her and she retreats behind the bar.

"Mimzy what did you do!?" I say storming over to her "I may have crossed some lone sharks that I may or may not have borrowed 50 grand from, and stolen a car, that I then ran over the lone shark's girlfriend with but that bitch had it comin'!!!"

suddenly large rocks burst through the windows and the hotel begins to shake, Alastor pushes me behind the bar and walks over to stop vaggie from attacking "No my dear leave this to me, it's time I remind everyone why I am here" large black tendrils start coming out of his back and his eyes turn into radio dials "A reminder to all not to mess with the radio demon!" he crawls out of the hotel's broken doors, his body getting larger and larger "I'm going to devour each and every one of you!!"

I step out from behind the bar witnessing what can only be described as a massacre, I have only seen Alastors body expand once or twice, and surprisingly I'm not as afraid of it as I should be. Charlie and her dad argue about the hotel's cause while Angel and Husk eat popcorn.

once Alastor is done he shrinks back to his normal size and I run up beside him "Oh I miss getting to let off steam~" he says twirling his staff. Mimzy comes out from the corner and claps "Oh Alastor you did a fantastic job, bravo as always thanks for helping out little old me from a tough spot, your such a pal"

The buck:

I turn and see Mimzy walking over to me, pushing y/n out of her way nearly causing her to fall. she's not going to bring danger, have me clean up her mess, and throw my wife around. no... she's not getting away with it this time "Sorry about the mess but I'm sure y/n could take care of it for ya~" my eyes narrow as I speak

"Mimzy I think you should go" She looks at me and scoffs "Oh you are so funny, such a jokester. you don't really care about this hotel do ya? you heartless. son. of. a. bitch" I peel her hands off of me "I mean it, you deliberately brought trouble, you are welcome to stay if you really want to give redemption a try, but we both know that's not your style, so you need to leave" she looks at me in disbelief and I raise a brow "pff fine, who needs ya, good luck with your hotel and your little princess, see if I care"

She walks away and I turn my attention back to y/n whos dusting off her dress, I look at her seeing that she has not a single scratch "Are you alright my dear?" she nods with an expression I can't quite read "We should head back inside, and check on the others"

The Doe:

I rush in seeing the hotel in bad shape, with holes in the walls, glass everywhere, and parts of the ceiling missing but thankfully nobody's hurt "Oh Charlie I'm sorry about the hotel..." she breaks her hug with vaggie and walks over to me "hay its ok, I'm sure Alastor can help fix this up in no time" I look around but don't see lucifer "Uh... Charlie where is your father?" "he left back to his house... mansion... castle... whatever you wanna call it but he got me a meeting with heaven!!!"

she lets out an excited squeal, grabbing vaggie "Come on vaggie let's go pack, we're going to heaven!!!" "oh that's, great... yeah let's do that, yay heaven..."

I'm so so so so so so sorry that this came out later than I wanted but some family things came up while I was working on this. however, its finally out. I hope you guys liked this chapter and as always stay tuned and have a wonderful day/night!!

-squerlly

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz @kimmis-stuff @sakuraluna2468

for more content and chapters please click this masterlist

[pastelspoon31]

Chapter 5: What a nice neighbour! (Older!König x Younger!Reader) - NSFW

tw: age gap (early 20s reader, AT LEAST mid-40s König), manipulation, non-con, somnophilia, drugging, gullible reader :(, a little bit of pseudo-incest, pretty much dead dove, coerced pussy inspections, König being a non-licensed gynaecologist lol

A/N: Editing this while wondering what the fuck is wrong with me (A lot)

Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | > Masterlist

Should you tell him? It's a pretty weird topic to bring up so casually.

He's still a man afterall, right?

Lately, you have been waking up with... a lot more discharge than usual. Thick white opaque liquid leaks out of your pussy and crusts onto the fabric of your panties.

You were confused, and a little grossed out, but after taking a shower and getting dressed, you forgot about the weird situation.

At least until you woke up again the next day and the same thing happened.

And the next day.

And everyday the next week.

And everyday the next month.

Was it something you ate? Was it a sign of cancer? Was it something worse?

You haven't had sex in a long while so it couldn't be that...

It had happened while you were sleeping over at König’s too, where he had been keeping you safe in his arms as you slept so it's not like you've been attacked.

The only explanation was that it was just your body doing its own thing, and there was no harm done.

Right?

"Hey, König?" You looked up at the man standing next to you.

"Yes, liebling?" He hummed, and you bit your lip.

"Are you... Uhm..."

"What is it, mein hase? He asked with concern, and you looked down, playing with your hands.

"Are you busy... today?" You nervously asked.

"I have nothing planned. Did you have something in mind, liebling?" He asked.

"No. Yes. Sort of." You muttered.

"I need your help with something.." You bit your lip nervously.

"And what would that be?" He hummed.

"U-Uhm... It's... embarrassing..." You murmured, and he tilted his head.

"What is it, liebling?" He placed an arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer. "You know I'll do anything for you."

"Yeah... I know.." You nodded, "But this is weird..."

"Nothing is too weird, mein hase."

You blushed, and looked down, biting your lip.

"Do you mind... Accompanying me to the gynaecologist? I think there's something wrong with me.." Your face was red and your heart was beating wildly.

König bit his lip to hide a smirk, his mind already imagining what you were going to say.

"What's wrong? You caught something with your ex-boyfriend?" He pretended to ask.

"What? God, no! Me and Billy.. Well, I haven't had um... sex in a long while." You murmured.

"So then, why are you so worried? I'm sure it's nothing. Tell me, my late wife always complained about the same thing and she was fine." He pretended to be assuring to you.

"That's the thing, König. It's.. It's something gross.." You cringed for even having this conversation.

"I've never really had a guy close enough to me to talk about this.." You whispered.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, liebling."

"But it's different-"

"It's human, liebling. I'm sure it's nothing serious."

"No, you don't understand. It's... I don't think a woman is suppose to produce something.. um.. so much.." You whispered.

"-And i've never really... Had anything like this happen before.." You sighed, looking away.

"Ah, if you're that worried.. Show me then," König even followed up with a gentle smile that was so well crafted you couldn't possibly imagine him being the culprit.

"W-what? No! That's even more gross!" You squeaked and König's smile dropped, turning into a frown.

"Liebling, it's only natural. Don't you trust me?" He asked, and your blush worsened. "You see me as your father, ja?"

"Yeah.." You reluctantly answered.

"Then, there's nothing to be afraid of." He patted your head reassuringly. "If it makes you feel any better, I served a short period as an assistant to a doctor in my younger days serving in the military. I've seen and helped more women than I can count. I’m more than happy to help you if you want, liebling,”

You blushed and nodded, looking down.

"O-okay.. But promise you won't laugh or make fun of me.."

"Of course, hase." He gave you a soft smile and rubbed your back.

"Alright.."

You allowed him to guide you to his bedroom as you sat on the edge of his bed.

"Alright, mein hase. Whenever you're ready." König told you, and you nodded.

You hesitantly lifted up your skirt, and inched closer to the edge as you spread your legs about a foot's width.

"I'm going to need you to spread your legs a bit wider, hase. I can't see anything." He cooed, and you swallowed thickly and obeyed, your hands tightly gripping the edge of the mattress.

König's eyes immediately zeroed in on the wet patch that stained your panties, and he smirked to himself.

His thumb gently pressed against the damp spot, making you gasp.

"Is this the 'problem' spot you're talking about, hase?"

You nodded, and he gently rubbed his thumb over the fabric.

"König.." You whimpered, and he hummed, moving his hand away.

"I'm going to remove your panties, ja?"

"Mm-hmm.."

You nodded and watched him hook his fingers around the band of your panties, pulling them down slowly and carefully.

"Mmm, mein hase, it's worse than I thought." Your pussy was still red from the abuse he gave it the night before as you were sound asleep.

"It's.. It's been like that for a month. All.. red and sensitive..." You murmured out in embarrassment. 

"When I wake up, there's always a heavy white sticky discharge- A lot of it. And it's crusty when I take my panties off.." You bit your lip.

"And it happens every morning..."

"Oh, poor hase.." König clicked his tongue in sympathy. His eyes however, were set on your cute little clit nestled in the top of your slit.

"How does it feel?" He asked and brushed his fingertips against your labia.

"Mm.." You whimpered and bit your lip, "It feels sensitive.."

"And here?" He pressed his fingers into the skin around your lips, and you whined.

"Hurts.." You whimpered.

"Poor little thing.." He hummed, his fingers trailing up to your clit.

"Oh.." You gasped and instinctively closed your legs.

"No, no, liebling." He cooed, and opened your thighs once more, his finger rubbing circles on your sensitive bud.

"That's not!- You're touching my, oh~" You let out another gasp.

"I'm just checking, ja? To make sure nothing is wrong."

"O-oh, okay.."

You swallowed thickly and let him rub and stroke at your pussy, his fingers gliding against the wetness of your arousal.

"I don't see anything.. white that you mention of." He pretended to be curious as he lightly dipped his index finger into your entrance, your walls already trying to suck him in.

“But it’s always there every morning..” You tried reasoning with him.

"Well, I don’t see it. Here, it's mostly clear, hase.." He continued, pushing his finger further.

"K-König!-" You instinctively pushed yourself up, your hands resting on his shoulders.

"Shh, hase. We don't want the neighbours to hear you, now do we? It'll give them the wrong impression. I'm just examining you, afterall.."

"It feels.. weird." You murmured.

"Just relax, liebling." He soothed, "There's nothing to worry about."

He began pumping his finger in and out of you, watching how your body reacted and memorising all the ways you whimpered and suppressed your moans.

"Hmm... Have you been eating well? How's your diet?" He asked, pretending to be concerned as his fingers pumped in and out of you, his thumb still circling your clit.

Oh, how he was enjoying the way you struggled to form words as your hands gripped the fabric of his bedsheets tightly.

"I-I have.." You moaned.

"Have you been drinking enough water?" He asked, his thumb speeding up on your clit.

"Y-yes! I have. I have!-"

"I'm just making sure, hase.." He said softly, "I don't want anything bad to happen to my liebling, ja?"

"Y-yes, König.." You whimpered. "Are you almost done..?"

"Almost, liebling.." He said, "I'm just trying to find the source of the problem."

König pulled his fingers out, his middle and ring finger pressing against your entrance. The pulsing of your tight heat had him salivating at the thought of how he's the one that caused that.

"Now, just relax, hase." He cooed.

"I don't think-"

Your breath hitched and a moan escaped you as he slid his two fingers inside, pushing past your resistance.

"Shh, shh, liebling. Just relax, hm? I'm almost done checking." He hushed.

"Please, König, I don't think- A-ah!~"

König started fucking his fingers in and out of you, his movements slow and teasing.

"What was that, liebling?" He smirked from your reaction, his pace slowly picking up.

"Mm, it's sensitive, König! Too- ah! Much!"

You couldn't focus on forming words properly as the older man fingered you, your pussy already fluttering and squeezing his fingers.

It didn't take long before you clamped down on his digits, and let out a soft cry, your body shaking.

"König!-"

"There you go, hase." He hummed.

"I think we've found the source of the problem."

You gasped, your face a bright shade of red.

"Oh, God, König! I didn't mean to..!" You cried out, face red.

"Oh, hase, don't worry about it. It's natural."

"But-"

He pulled out his fingers and wiped it on the bed sheets.

"Frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong. Your discharge was clear. It's not white. And as far as I'm concerned, you've eaten a healthy and balanced diet and had enough to drink. You haven't been having unprotected sex either. In fact, you're very healthy, hase." He gave a deceptively sweet smile at you.

"B-but, König.."

"Liebling, you're a beautiful and healthy woman." He sat next to you and pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist.

"You're not in any danger, I can promise you that. It's perfectly normal. It's nothing to worry about.." He reassured.

"It's just something that happens." He kissed your forehead. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, ja?"

"Okay.." You nodded, your heart still pounding.

"Good girl. Now, put your panties back on. We'll go have lunch together at that place you like, hm?"

You smiled and nodded, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, König. For.. Helping me out." You murmured and he smiled.

"Of course, hase. Anything for you,"

[thursdayygrrrl]

inevitably, inetivably, inebivatly

⌦ .｡.:*♡

characters: actress!wanda maximoff x gn!reader 

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

summary: After Wanda finishes filming a day drinking segment on Seth Meyers’ show to promote her current project, you take care of her.

word count: 2,061

a/n: i was watching random yt vids and came across the day drinking with seth meyers segments (the lorde and the dua lipa ones) and i just thought to write something short and sweet about it. i have not written in a while and english is not my first language, so please bear with me. this is also my first time writing for wanda. you can read it on ao3 (here) or under the cut. regardless, i hope u enjoy it !!

Your phone tells you it’s currently 3:46 PM, but the way Wanda is absolutely wasted makes it seem like 4 AM after a wild night out. She agreed to go on Late Night with Seth Meyers and participate in the day drinking segment. When the offer first came up, mentioned by her team, you were both apprehensive. But after some talk about it, guaranteeing her safety on set and the fan reception it would bring in, she ultimately agreed to it. Also, seeing your wife have some fun and let loose is one of the best sights ever. So here you were, hand on her waist, guiding her to your car after the shoot. 

“Okay, Wands, we’re almost there,” you say gently.

She mumbles something. “Hm?” You ask her, wanting not to miss anything.

“Don’t wanna…”

You suddenly remember that she’s wearing shoes which, honestly, looked painful to wear. You take this as a cue and carry her bridal style the rest of the way to the car. A little yelp escapes her in surprise when you lift her with ease.

“Better?” You ask her. She hums happily and buries her head into the crook of your neck. You kiss the top of her head as you walk nearer to the vehicle. Once you’re there, you bend down slightly to open the passenger door. 

Wanda removes her head from its former position once she hears the door open. She furrows her brow in that adorable manner you can never seem to get over. “Seth’s like… scary good at making people drink a lot a lot,” She slurs as you help her onto the seat and put her seatbelt on. “Yeah?” you try to keep her engaged.

“Mhm. Did you see me with those crazy cocktails? And those shots too?” Wanda rambles, emoting and gesturing without abandon, while you get behind the wheel. You chuckle, “Yeah, you took them like a champ, honey.”

“I sure did, Y/N,” She nods to herself proudly. You prep for the drive, making sure the temperature is comfortable and your phone is connected to the Bluetooth system. 

You open Spotify on your phone and gesture it towards her, “Any requests?”

She shakes her head, “Whatever DJ Y/N wants!” She giggles at the impromptu nickname she calls you. Her laugh is like music to your ears, you smile along with her.

“Alright, alright, alright!” You put your joint playlist on shuffle and start driving. One of your favorite songs comes on and Wanda starts dancing along, at least as much as the seatbelt allows. You join in by tapping your finger on the wheel and lipsyncing exaggeratedly. “I love this one!” She speaks loudly, still dancing, unaware of her voice modulation.

You match her energy, “I can tell!” This drive-turned-dance party continues for a few more songs until a slower one starts playing. She runs a hand through her hair and settles into the seat with a content sigh.

“Now that was fun, Y/N. We need to do that more.”

“Dance?”

She nods with an air of authority, “Absolutely.”

“Noted, darling,” You flash her a smug smile and she blushes.

She slumps in her seat and covers her face with her hands. “God, Y/N, that petname is so corny. And old-fashioned.”

You shrug and keep driving. “Sure, but you know you like it.”

She giggles, conceding, “Yeah, yeah. I do.”

You let the music take over as you make your way home. After a while, you look over to check on Wanda only to find that she’s blissfully asleep. Her copper waves are splayed across her shoulder. You smile to yourself as you park on the driveway. You take a moment to just admire her, to be enchanted by the curve of her cheek, the slope of her nose, and the peaceful expression on her face.

You leave the car and walk to her side, opening the passenger door as quietly as you can. Wanda stirs anyway. She whines softly when her sleep is interrupted.

“It’s okay, sweet girl, we’re home now. Okay? Just let me take care of you.”

She nods as you unbuckle the seatbelt and carry her again, this time into your home. She holds you as if her life depended on it. 

It was a challenge to get the front door open, but when you do, you immediately close it with your hip. You kick your shoes off and make your way to the bedroom. You lay her gently on the bed, which she immediately curls up in, then help take her heels off and pick out a change of clothes for her. The noise of clothes ruffling alerts Wanda. Her voice is muffled by the pillows and sheets surrounding her.

“May I wear one of your hoodies tonight? Pretty please?”

“You don’t have to ask, Wands. The answer is yes every time.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” she says, a wide smile on her face while she drags out the last syllable of your name.

You look through your closet for some random sleep shorts and the exact hoodie you know she’s referring to. You also know how diligent she is with skincare, so you take the essentials with you too. Once you’ve got them, you go over to the bed again and bend so you’re at eye level with her.

“Sit up and let’s get you into something cozier, hon. Yeah?”

She wiggles her eyebrows playfully while following your instructions. “Ooooo, you wanna see me naked, huh?”

You try to suppress the growing smile on your face as you unzip the back of her dress. A blush creeps up on your face despite wanting to keep it at bay. Wanda teases you, “You totally do, Y/N! Look at you!”

The dress falls off her shoulders, revealing her upper body. She makes an excited noise. You take the dress and toss it on the floor, leaving it a problem for later, already coming up with an apology for her meticulous stylist. You sit in front of her and press a kiss on her shoulder as you unhook her bra. “I do, but I want you to be comfortable above all,” You whisper into her smooth skin.

“Boo, you’re no fun,” She pouts like a petulant child, but you know she would never mean anything bad by it. You help her slip into the shorts and the oversized hoodie. When her head pops out, a goofy smile is on her face. “I love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too, Wanda.”

Now, you take her preferred cleansing balm and warm it in your hands. She closes her eyes as you massage it gently all over her face, to remove the makeup she’s wearing. Then, you take a damp cloth to rinse away the milky residue. She moans quietly at your touch.

Her eyes are still closed as you prepare to finish her routine with her favorite cleanser. “You’re so good with your hands, Y/N.” You chuckle at her comment, unsure if she meant the double entendre.

“I mean it,” She says sincerely as you keep working on her skincare, first with the cleanser then a clean washcloth to dry off. You cradle her face with your hand. She moves slightly to kiss your palm.

“I’m glad to be of service then.” 

Your hand moves to rest on her thigh instead. Her face gradually gets closer and her lips meet yours. It’s surprisingly gentle and tender, especially for someone so drunk and usually so eager. You let her deepen it, let her tongue venture into the familiar environment of your mouth, until she pulls away to catch her breath. You smile and give her one last peck before standing up and gathering the stuff up off the bed.

“I’m gonna get some water and some painkillers too. You’re gonna need it.”

Wanda scoffs and clumsily tilts her head upward to maintain eye contact with you. She takes her pointer finger and pokes your chest. “Please. Judging from a while ago, I could outdrink you, Natasha, and Yelena. Combined!”

You shoot her a questioning look, stifling a smile. “Sure, honey.” With that, you leave the room briefly and she lays back down. She lands on her back with a soft thud and stretches her arms and legs out like a starfish. “Y/N,” she calls out. “I am so grateful for this bed.”

With a bottle of water and a small dish containing some pills in hand, you enter again. “The bed is pretty great. It’s done us a lot of good.” You place the dish on the bedside table and open the water bottle, urging her to sit up again. “Here, Wands, drink up.”

She closes her eyes tightly and shakes her head. She makes a noise of disapproval that is not missed by your attentive ears. You tilt your head to the side, thinking of ways to try and persuade her. Wanda is stubborn, you knew that from years of experience, but you also knew that she would always fold at your actions if you played your cards just right.

Mustering up your best acting skills, you flash her your best wide-eyed, puppy-like gaze. Her eyes unscrew the tiniest bit, but it’s not enough. So you place the opened water bottle on the side table and move on to the next course of action.

Laying down and nuzzling into her side. A hum, much like a cat’s satisfied purr, leaves her lips.

“You like that?”

Wanda nods. “Yeah. A lot.” You then subtly move to sit up, leaning your back against the headboard. She whines at the gradual loss of contact. You can’t help but giggle softly as you pat the spot beside you. 

“Come up here, then. Sit up with me. I’m all yours.”

She begrudgingly does so, this time settling into your side and leaning most of her weight on you. You take this moment to brush some of the stray hairs away from her face and kiss her temple. She practically melts under your fawning.

You take your chance, continuing to play sweetly with her hair. “Now that you’re up, how about that water?”

A beat, a pause, until she yields.

“Okay, okay. Fine.”

A proud squeal you were trying to suppress escapes you. Wanda shoots you a knowing look, “Such a dork.” You quickly hand her the bottle, which she accepts and drinks from gratefully.

“Yeah, but this dork is just happy to get you hydrated before you inevitably fall asleep.”

“In-ev-it-ab-ly. Inetivably.” She sounds the word out and scrunches her nose when she mispronounces it. “That word is funny, Y/N. Inebivatly!” Both of you explode into laughter. She continues rambling about etymology and phonetics, gesturing wildly with the half-empty water bottle. "Woah!" You take it back before any of its contents threaten to spill.

“Hey! I was drinking that.” She pouts. You do your best to stay firm and mature, to resist your instinctual response to give in.

“Or were you using it as a prop?” 

“Mmmh, you got me there.”

Both of you settle back on the bed. Wanda takes her arm and wraps it around your midsection. Her head rests on your chest and your steady heartbeat grounds her. You alternate between caressing her hair and languidly stroking her side. The setting sun’s golden light creeps into the windows, bathing everything in a warm tone. After a comfortable silence, she speaks softly.

“M’sleepy…”

“Go ahead and rest, darling. I’ll be right here.”

“But there’s so many hours left in the day. Only old people sleep this early,” She drags the last word out in a whine.

“That’s okay, we have tomorrow.” You assure her like you unfailingly do.

Wanda hums in contemplation before nodding approvingly, “Yeah, tomorrow.” 

You keep soothing her until her eyelids eventually close, to hide those gorgeous eyes you could get lost in forever, and her breathing steadies and turns into quiet snores.

It is a guarantee that Wanda’s hangover tomorrow will be rough, but you don’t mind at all. It just gives you more permission to give her extra affection, attention, love, and care. Even in her messiest and most raw moments, there is nowhere in the world you would rather be than with her. This, you know, is certain. It is fated. It is inevitable.

[sillybayo]

Bayo's Black Rose Arc Analysis

Some notes before I begin:

-This ramble/essay contains heavy discussions of CSA, general sexual themes, and incest. Also, keep in mind that the characters discussed here are 12-17. While I will be looking into how sex affects them mentally and such, I will not tolerate child sexualization here. I will block anyone who makes a single weird comment or make me uncomfortable. We'll be talking about this from a pure psychological standpoint.

-This is a thought dump rather than anything formal, so I won't be dropping episode titles or numbers. I'm also going purely off of memory, and things I said in group chats. So if things lack clarity, this is why.

-I'm not saying I "cracked the black rose arc code" or anything, this is purely my interpretation that I wish to share, due to not seeing many black rose analysis', and being displeased with what some people have said and concluded. I just want to put what I think out there for others to enjoy :3.

-To avoid being repetitive and cluttered, I'll be generally referring to any character who pulls swords out as "wielders", and any character who has had a sword pulled out of them as "sheaths". Any scene where this transpires will be called a "sheathing scene."

-Once again, due to the material of this analysis, I will be blocking anyone who sexualizes the characters in notes, or anyone who I see as creepy.

With that out of the way, let us begin :3!

So I was watching rgu video essays one day, and I stumbled across one about Miki. About halfway or late into the video, they begin talking about how Miki and Kozue had sex in the black rose arc, due to the way she touched him before the sheathing scene, and the way he turned beet red when Nanami asked how it felt for the sword to be taken out. And I thought it made sense at the time, as I was still new to utena, and I only watched it once. And the allegory is clearly there in other black rose sheathing scenes (besides with utenanthy), right?

But then I thought about it more when I rewatched the juriori black rose episode a year or so later, and caught Juri blushing when Nanami asked her the same question. And...wait. Because doesn't all of the black rose sheathing scenes look..uncomfortable? The sheath cries in pain as the sword comes out of their chest, and Wakaba even forced it out of Saionji. And this weirded me out, because why would a show thats so clearly against rape of any kind go on to write something like this? Why did Miki and Juri blush about something that was so forceful? And even if they were under a mind controlled like state, why would they write the wielders to be rapists? With the way rgu writes sex and rape, it didn't seem right, y'know?

So a few months later, when I decided to continue my rewatch and reached the Wakaba black rose arc episode, thats when I truly started to think about it more. And thats when I reached a conclusion: Miki and Juri are more influenced by Touga and Saionji than they realize. And by extension, they're all influenced by Akio.

You see, Touga and Saionji clearly view Anthy as someone to be sexualized. Shes their wife, who would fulfill their every request. Even though they might not know Anthys and Akios relationship, and/or how the latter treats her, this is an undeniable shared mindset.

Even though the boys and Utena uses Anthy as a sheath in the exact same ways on the outside, you know that when its with Touga and Saionji, its sexualized. They own her. When Touga demands Anthy to kiss his sword, it feels so off that Utena couldn't bare to watch. You could argue that its because it would hurt Anthys lips, but in later episodes its clear that it isn't the issue, as Utena uses the same powerup but in a more supportive fashion rather than sexual. So whats up with that?

I say; in (most of) the wielders view, the sword is like a penis.

I know, a very silly thing to say. But I don't mean exactly. And I, of course, don't mean literally.

Do you know that scene from the scream movie, where the two guys are stabbing each other, begging for it and all? It definitely has sexual undertones, because of the mood set by the characters, and heres where I'm getting at; the idea of a long pointed object being thrusted in you.

What I think is that Anthy is so sexualized by the student council, that the idea of a simple sword being pulled out of her 14 year old south asian brown girl chest, is arousing.

So when each of the student council members become sheaths themselves, of course they think that its one of the most sexually intimate things to experience. And its so stupid, right? Its just a sword. a SWORD.

And I shouldn't be referring to the student council so generally, because Nanami is the only one who sees through this. As far as I remember, she wasn't weird in the slightest when she was Tsuwabukis sheath. And even in the apocalypse arc, shes uncomfortable when Touga kisses her, and disturbed when walking in on Akio and Anthy (but then again I haven't rewatched that episode yet, so I could be wrong). She purely meant to ask how the sword felt, with no sexual intent. Miki and Juri were just pure idiots on that part.

So then, wait, if the sword pulling in the black rose arc wasn't a metaphor for rape, then what is it?

Well, I argue that it black rose wielders follow the same mindset as some sexual assaulters when they're under the effects of Mikages reverse therapy, in a way. Its the strong feeling of thinking the sheath owes the wielder something, and that the wielder deserves it no matter what they say.

Another reference to a different piece of media, but remember when its revealed that Pearl continued to fuse with Garnet for her own personal wants, which crossed Garnets boundaries? People interpreted that scene as Pearl raping Garnet, when....no. What? Of course she isn't. Its just the general idea of your wishes being disrespected, and boundaries ignored. Do you see where I'm going with this?

The black rose wielders see something in the sheaths that they want for themselves, whether it be their love, their attention, or some secret third thing. So with nothing but entitlement and desperation in their heart, they force the sword out of their hearts, where their desires lie.

But, wait. How about other scenes with swords? Like when Anthy is Utenas sheath, and when Anthy has a thousand swords stabbed into her? Do swords still represent desire?

Well, yes! Very easily. Utena fights for the pure sake of love and friendship. She fights Saionji when hes cruel to Wakaba, and she swears to protect Anthy with all her heart. She duels with the strongest ounce of care in her soul. Thats the desire to keep her loved ones happy.

What about when Anthy what continuously impaled? Well, that was the villages desire to get to the prince. And it was Akios desire to finally revolutionize the world after so long.

I may be missing a few scenes, but this is the general idea, and I hope I got the idea across. Thats the end of my little ramble :3. As an acespec hypersexual, I already spend a lot of time deconstructing the truth behind sexual things and feelings. So this was fun to think about. I hope y'all liked this, and understood it most importantly. Toodleeess

[midnightcreator12]

All this gravity falls content got me thinking on an old AU I made in like 2016 (Dragon Mom, its just Gravity Falls but a dragon adopted Stan shortly after the Portal Incident)

But now that im older and.....slightly more unhinged with AU stuff I'm rotating the idea of Dragons in Gravity Falls and kinda revamping the AU in my brain but I don't have time to write it atm but I wanna talk about it so have this very rough plot idea that I piece together (knowledge of the AU in 2016 is not needed....its very different now)

Ok, its a lil....outta left field but most of my AU shit is at this point

But anyway, things starts as a standard 'Stan took the journal AU' except Stan just vanishes and Ford doesn't really think anything of it because he TOLD Stan to keep the journal far away from everyone so he just focuses on protecting himself and the portal from Bill.

Cut to 30 years later and Ford has managed to put up the unicorn dome but he never leaves the house. He's published enough of his work to be recognized in the scientific community and is well off enough to not HAVE to leave the house but now he's also kinda a cranky old man because he doesnt have enough enrichment but hes terrified of Bill getting into his head so he stays inside and near the house, hardly ever contacts his family, missed a lot of stuff including his parents funerals and the birth of his nephew and his grand niblings.

But than, at the beginning of summer one year, his nephew called him up to let him know that he sent the kids his way because he and his wife dont want them around while they work out their divorce and they can't send the kids anywhere else....yaaay

Ford is not happy but it's kinda too late to send the kids back and he maybe feels a little bad for the two and has enough empathy to not want two 12-year-olds watch their parents fight over assets and custody and yadda yadda

So, Dipper and Mabel come and Ford is NOT a good caretaker. Oh, he makes sure they have a place to sleep and food and even talks to them sometimes but he holes up in his labs and studies a lot (where neither kid is allowed to enter) and he doesnt discourage them from going into the woods and DEFINITELY doesnt supervise them in the woods.

The kids are basically running wild until they bump into their first supernatural encounter and then they are even wilder because they run to tell Ford about the Gnomes and he is more than happy to tell the kids about aaaallll the crazy stuff in Gravity Falls and it's something the kids can FINALLY bond with him over so they go hunting for MORE anomolies.

And its fine at first until the kids find something thats actually dangerous. Theres a moment they're worried they got in over their heads but then the monster chasing them just vanishes?? And when they get back to the cabin, Mabel notices this little, rusty red lizard thing has followed them home and, of course, shes got to adopt it! 'He chose us Dipper! He followed us all the way home!"

Neither kid thinks to inform Ford of the new pet

Time passes, Mabels lizard seems to be doing a perry the platypus impression by vanishing when things get dicey and, weirdly, the danger vanishes too before the lizard reappears and this repeats until the FEDS show up trying to take grunkle Ford and DIpper starts a zombie uprising by accident and the kids and Ford are cornered and Ford is SUPER rusty when it comes to fighting supernatural stuff And then BOOM! Mabels little lizard scrabbles out of her arms and transforms into a dragon! Not a very big one but big enough to start mowing down zombies and give Ford and the kids enough time to get to the roof and use singing to defeat the zombies And now Ford is VERY interested in how and when Mabel found a dragon but the dragon seems very cold with Ford.

Oh, he LOVES the kids and is very tolerant of Dipper running round and round him and taking notes. Ford? The big guy avoids Ford like the plague when hes in dragon form and hisses at him constantly in the little lizard form. And Mabel makes more than one comment on how the dragon kinda looks like Grunkle Ford

Blah, blah, blah, plot stuff I havent thought about leads to the big twist of: Turns out, the Dragon is Stanley. Because before Ford sent that letter, this red cat had been following Stan around and when he came back with the journal and no will left to live she revealed herself to be a dragon and extended an offer for Stan to join her clan. One he accepted

So now, Stan is a dragon and Ford is convinced that Stan was tricked and keeps promising to fix him and Stan just rolls his eyes and plays with the kids

and somehow, Weridmageton still happens but Stan is a big magical dragon now and it turns out he can shift even BIGGER and is a big help in taking Bill down (I like the idea on true form Dragon Stan just....eating Bill....much to Ford awe and horror)

And more plot happens, maybe STan takes Mabel to the rest of the dragon clan because she's worried Dipper is going to stay in Gravity Falls and she'll be alone and Sheba (the dragon who recruited Stan/the Dragon Queen of the clan) gets to play therapist for the pines family issues

And eventually, the Stans make up, the twins make peace with each other and the insanity thay're about to go home to and, hey, turns out, Stan has a humanoid form too, perfect for sailing with his brother! Happy end where the Stans and Twins go visit a dragon clan every few months.

And thats what I got.

Well that, and a quick Dragon Stan concept

[adore-laur]

GOLD RUSH: PART TWO

— part one

——

Harry doesn't want to let go. He hasn't been this close to you since what feels like a lifetime ago. After a grueling year of separation, considerate greeting hugs and instinctual touches that respect boundaries can't hold a candle to this moment. 

He can feel your heartbeat. The organ that once beat fiercely for him is now pounding against his own, its unsteady pulse fueling him with love. 

Who is he kidding? He has always loved you. Even when you screamed at him on the other line, poisonous words creeping into every crack of his heart, he still couldn't bear the thought of never having a place in your life again—even if that place wasn't beside you anymore. 

You told him you were proud of him a mere minute ago. It was a simple statement, but also a diminutive glance into your mind. What do you think about when you're pressed against him, aware of his hands on your back and the kisses left on your head? What feelings do they ignite? All Harry wants is to spread you open, lay your cards on the table—both the good and the bad ones—and just talk to you. He only sees you a handful of times a month, so the questions that have been piling in his throat beg to spill out. 

He fears his patchwork heart would also spill out onto the floor, and you'd see how miserably he's been coping. Mentally draining months were spent mending the broken relationship. Yet, the last and largest shard that couldn't piece it together again was the one that was simply the dying relationship itself. 

A year should be enough time to get over someone, but when that someone is his ex-wife and the mother of his beautiful child, he reminds himself that time never stops in moments of hurt. His personal life and career had to chug along even when the train constantly veered off the tracks. 

The regret he feels for not putting his family first kills him inside every time he opens your door to take his daughter for half a week. It's never enough time, and to see you for much less weighs heavily on his soul. The haunting supposition of being unable to notice every tiny detail about you one day is the nail in his coffin. He remembers opening the door a few months ago to find you with shorter hair. It shouldn't have affected him the way it did, and he couldn't help but think that you probably would've asked for his opinion on it if you were still together. 

He also hasn't kissed you or had sex with you in over a year. There have been no romantic dates or nights cuddled in bed, limbs tangled like the wilting vines of your love. He has not held your hand or watched you be a mother except for fleeting moments. He doesn't want those things with anyone else, so why can't you forgive him? Why can't you revive your love for him? 

Harry knows asking for a revival of love is irrational. 

"When do you need to be on stage?" Your voice reaches him, warm like melted honey and gentle like a balm that heals his wounds. 

"It doesn't matter," he says, fixing the twisted strap of your dress. "I can be a little late." 

You step away from the hug, and he feels an ache in his chest due to the loss of physical contact. "No, you can't." 

He tilts his head to the side and smirks. "Says who? It's my show." 

You narrow your eyes dubiously, but they slowly soften when they drift downward and take in his outfit. He'd be lying if he said he didn't plan a revealing outfit just because you were coming. 

"You look handsome."

Handsome. When was the last time you called him that? He can't remember, but the word sends a tidal wave of shivers rolling across his body. 

"Thank you. You look lovely, as always. How've you been?" 

"Fine. Work keeps me busy." Something nearby clatters to the floor, and you nod your head toward the culprit, who has a guilty expression. "Her too." 

"You're not overworking yourself, are you?" Harry asks. God knows he's seen you at your worst because of it. 

"Not as much as you. I still worry about you with all this traveling." 

He stuffs his hands into his pockets while moving closer to you. "Yeah? You worry about me?" 

You nod and look past his shoulder. He misses when you didn't shy under his gaze. "But the videos I see ease my worries. I know you're safe and having fun." 

He clears his throat and asks, "What videos?" 

There's a heavy lull of silence before you say, "Ones of you performing. They pop up on social media all the time. You're pretty famous if you didn't know." 

He ignores your teasing because he's grasping at straws, needing to know if you still keep up with him like he does with you. "And you watch them?" 

"Yeah," you say, nervously touching your earlobe. "It's hard not to with those outfits and how happy you look, you know?" You point to your daughter and add, "She loves to watch them too." 

Harry roughly swallows and curls his hands into fists. Your admission makes the ache in his heart grow tenfold. He never would have guessed. 

Someone suddenly knocks loudly on the dressing room door, making him flinch. "Harry, we need to start heading to the stage! Right now, preferably!" 

With a sigh, he heads over to the connected bathroom to grab his mic pack and in-ears, but not before crouching in front of his daughter. "Hey, Dad has to go," he tells her. "Gonna stay with Mama and watch me?" 

She nods and lifts her arms. He picks her up before setting her on his hip and swaying her. "Do I look okay?" he murmurs. 

"Mm-hmm," she hums, grabbing at the silk material of his vest. 

"Good." He kisses her forehead and then rests his own against hers. "I love you, all right? Dance your heart out for me." 

She impatiently squirms in his arms. He sets her down so she can play with the toys you brought, and then moves to quickly fix his hair in the mirror. He can already tell that tonight is going to be one of his favorite shows, and it has everything to do with the fact that his two favorite people will be in the audience.

After he puts his in-ears in, he shuts the bathroom light off and shakes his arms to get any remaining pre-show jitters out. He looks at you the entire time, watching you glance around his dressing room like it's an art gallery. All of his vulnerable belongings are out in the open and on display—his shirts you used to wear stuffed in his duffel bag, printed pictures of his daughter tucked into the mesh pocket of his suitcase, and a pack of diapers he had delivered earlier today in case you forgot or ran out. 

Most vulnerable, however, is his wedding ring sitting right next to the microphone that you're about to grab for him. It's the same ring he kisses every night before he goes on stage, never having gotten rid of it because it's one of the only things he has left of the love you once had for him. 

You freeze, your hand hovering over the microphone. The color drains from Harry’s face as he stands there, dreading your reaction. 

"Harry..." Your voice is weakened by a certain sadness that could break him if he let it. 

People gather in the room, trying to get him to start heading to the stage, but he's stuck in place. Paralyzed by fear. Everything is a blur around him, and all he can focus on is the shake of your hand when you pick up the damned ring that was cursed from the beginning. You set it in your open palm, then stare at him with a slightly parted mouth and confusion swimming in your eyes. 

Harry then makes a stupid fucking mistake. 

He rushes toward you, grasps your cheeks, and smears his lips over yours with pitiful desperation. His eyebrows pinch painfully, and he lets out a muted sob when you don't return the kiss. Your hands push against his chest, making him stumble back. 

There's no time to apologize since he's immediately being escorted out the door and down the hallway toward the stage. He wants to look back, but he knows the expression on your face will tell him all he needs to know. 

You don't love him anymore. 

——

[kahvilahuhut]

🔍 cynosure status update

i mean. it's also periphery update too though. teehee. feel free to also check out the drawing here!

🤍 New to the story? Check out the (current) wip intros: Cynosure / Periphery

omg it's been a while, hasn't it? haha. i must admit i might have gotten A Bit too deep into some university assignments (+ my thesis). I do sometimes talk about the story on my main, too, but it's nothing that important for the story itself, mostly just some fun facts about the characters, which means that most of the development I've done is in my brain. Or is nonexistent or something. ANYWAY! Here's a status update to tell what has been happening lately! Might actually make this into something I post every now and then.

In this status update I'm going to talk a little about how it's going with the story, overall thoughts, plot/character changes and some things you can expect during next few weeks (hopefully). I'll put it all under the cut to keep this short on the dashboard 🥰

Like always, if you have any questions about the story, feel free to send an ask - I'll always be happy to answer 🤍

overall thoughts

Right now one of my top thoughts is honestly debating whether i want to, like, actually write this somewhere as a nove, or whether I should do it as a graphic novel or something. That said, if I do go with the latter, you can still expect writing bc I like to write things out to plan them. Or vise versa make some kind of sketches for writing. My brain works in a weird way, I know lol

I have been doing some worldbuilding (specifically for the story AND something for the overall story world that I have). Let me know if you'd love to hear some things I have thought about!

I've also been doing some research about *checks notes* Boston, MA. Because that's where most of the story happens :^) Though it happens in 2200's so I still have lots of room to change things around.

Definitely thinking about adding more dark/horror stuff in the world as a whole bc there's been, like, a climate crisis. AND people do interplanetary traveling. Stuff like that ought to lead to some fucked up stuff. Especially when there's megacorporations involved. Cynosure wise there's going to be something, especially in Periphery, happening to one of the main characters. 👀

plot/character updates

(that have happened lately, at least)

One of the pov characters kind of got a name update! Tobias's first name has been changed to Ripley, and it's what most characters will probably referring to it as. That said, some characters (+ itself) will refer to it as Tobias bc that's its preferred name that's somethings its friends and wife call it

Another pov character (Samuel) got an interesting change of backstory, some tweaks in personality, and its plot-revelant actions have changed a little. Sammy's changes has thus made some already existing things I've posted on here non-canon.

Slowly finally putting together what I mah want to have in Klara's chapters and it's sooooo exciting.

Polished some things about the plots, especially the different parts of the acts <3

Got more thoughts about the project itself (or, well, what it should have). That also means I need to look more into pharma research or something. Very interesting...

Overall, lots to think about and lots to research about.

things to expect in next few weeks

(that is, if I won't drown in university assignments or something)

I've had some ideas for little stories that would be happening before the story, to show more information about the characters and the story itself (like what happened in the original project). Or maybe just some fun parts of characters' backstories. So I may post something if I manage to write it!

Some more character introductions + pov character post. Might make a "tag yourself" meme. Or a powerpoint wip intro

Something else, maybe? If you have an idea, let me know!

taglist (interact with this post if you want to be added or removed!)

@ecofear @fashionablyfyrdraaca @shadowfells @volkihar

@antoncrane @kk7-rbs @void-botanist @the-inkwell-variable @artbyeloquent

[cloudlessly-light]

I’m likely on Twitter way too much but I’ve been inspired by the “railed in a sundress” tweets to try and inspire you. So, request for a hotchniss “railed in a sundress” fic? Ily

Title: Love like mine (4/11) Chapter title: I'll make you scream and I'll make you want it Summary: He wasn’t a cheater. Until her. Word count: 3,5k Rating: Explicit   Warnings (for this chapter): Smut, dirty talk, anal play, cheating, a tiny hint of feelings, a tiny bit of angst

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

They stand in silence as the elevator makes its way up to their floor, side by side. His fingers are grazing hers, a gentle touch, something small and she forces a smile away.

“Had a good weekend?” She keeps looking straight ahead, watches as people get off and on the elevator.

“Yes, thank you.” He uses the fact that it gets more crowded to his advantage as she moves a little closer to him. “What about you?”

“It was fine.” When his hand grabs her ass she bites her bottom lip, can see the amusement he’s clearly trying to hide in her peripheral.

“Good.” The ding of the elevator forces them to part as they make their way out and walk towards the glass doors. “Can I see you in my office after the morning briefing?”

“Of course, sir.”

The glint in his eye caused her to smirk knowingly.

*

They’re in Montana, the case brutal, videos and torture devices in the unsubs house making her feel nauseous. She usually wasn’t fazed, but this case took a toll on all of them and she wanted to forget, just for an hour, about the horror they had witnessed. They never spent the night together on cases, but she needed something to get rid of the disgust she felt, needed to feel something other than rage.

“Can you come to my room tonight?” She asks quietly after finding him alone in the police station. He gives her a questioning look as he sorts through papers.

“I thought we had an agreement.” He can see the tension in her shoulders, hates the world for a moment because the women all looked like her.

“I know. I just… never mind.” She shakes her head quickly and chuckles dryly. “Forget it.”

He’s knocking on her door that same night and she opens wearing loose shorts and a tank, less put together than she normally shows herself, but he finds that he likes it.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” She lets him in and leans back against the door as he gets his tie and suit jacket off.

“I couldn’t stay away.”

Neither of them talk about the fact that they don’t have sex that night.

*

The tension is thick in the car, another argument, another day with clipped words and icy tones. Fights had almost become normal in their home. They didn’t used to be like this, but if Aaron was completely honest they had ignored their problems for a long time. It started before she got pregnant with Jack, her irritation at his work hours and unpredictable schedule something that he knew he could easily fix but wouldn’t. He thinks that’s what has hurt her the most, the fact that he wouldn’t change his job for her, not even after they had a child.

It's the fourth of July, it’s unbearably hot and for once they aren’t working. It was Penelope’s idea to have a celebration, Derek’s idea to have a barbeque in the backyard of one of the houses he’s just finished renovating. And Haley is angry with him. He had gotten home late, tired from another long day, coming home to a wife that wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. It shouldn’t have made him mad, he knows he should be more appreciative of everything she does for him, for their child.

And yet he can’t help the way annoyance itches on his skin as she complains that he missed another milestone in Jack’s life, doesn’t seem to be able to stop the words that come out harsher than he means to. And now they’re at a standstill, too late to cancel going to Derek’s but nowhere near having solved the ongoing fight.

Emily would be there, that realization hitting him just as he walked through the front door the night before. Emily would be there, would be sharing a space with his wife for the first time since the bar, that night seeming like a lifetime ago when she had him pressed against a wall, confidence and alcohol on her tongue as she asked if he was happy with Haley.

He was. He was happy, for the most part he thinks. But that was a part of marriage, you went through ups and downs. Aaron wonders what down causes him to cheat on his wife, knows that there’s no answer good enough.

And now he was going to watch as his wife interacted with his mistress.

“Honey?” He says softly as he parks the car, dares to put his hand on her thigh and when she doesn’t move he takes that as a good sign. “I’ll try more. I promise.”

She smiles at him, a sad smile that he knows she thinks is reassuring but is anything but.

“You know you can’t promise that. Not as long as you’re working within the BAU.” Still, she rests her hand on top off his. “We can talk more tonight, I just want us to enjoy today.” She reaches over the center console and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Okay.” He agrees and they both get out of the car. He gets Jack out of the car seat, the toddler happily babbling as they walk around the house to the front yard where everyone had already arrived.

“Hotch!” Derek greets him happily as he stands by the grill with Penelope beside him. “Finally, we thought you weren’t going to make it.” He hugs Haley and Penelope does the same.

“We had a cranky toddler.” Haley lies and it works, the attention quickly switching from them to Jack. “Sorry we’re late.”

“It’s alright, anything for my main man Jack.” Derek takes him from Aaron and puts him on his shoulders and Jack laughs.

“Please be careful.” Penelope warns, eyes wide as she watches them and Derek chuckles at the worried tone of his friend, Haley joining him.

“It’s fine Penelope, he loves it.” She smiles and Aaron nods along just as JJ and Spencer walks towards them, greeting them with smiles and hugs and then Dave walks out from the house carrying a bowl filled with salad.

He’s about to make his way toward the older man and then he sees her.

Emily is behind Dave, carrying two bottles of wine and dressed in a white dress, thin straps and knee length, small blue flowers on the fabric. He’s seen her naked, seen her in lingerie and yet, he’s close to stunned as he lets his eyes move over her slowly. She notices, but covers just as quickly when she sees Haley behind him.

She had known Haley would be there, had forced any feeling of unease away and yet her stomach twisted nervously for a moment when she saw them. But she forced a smile as her eyes met the other woman’s.

“Haley, it’s nice to see you again.” She greets them as Haley comes to stand beside Aaron while she puts the wine bottles down.

“Nice to see you too.” Haley’s smile seems stiff, the ease of how she had spoken to Emily the last time they saw each other gone and she wonders if maybe Haley knows more than she lets on. “That’s such a cute dress.” She continues and Emily smiles.

“Thank you.” She can tell Aaron isn’t used to seeing her this way, isn’t used to her simply being Emily and not Prentiss or the thrill hidden inside the walls of her apartment. His eyes seemed glued to her and everything in her wants to tell him to stop, because that’s the look that gets her naked, the look that makes her undress in his office as he presses a gun to her skin. “I just got this actually.” She continues just as Jack starts to whine, thankfully catching Haley’s attention.

“Excuse me.” She turns to walk towards the rest of the group and Emily gives Aaron a warning look.

“Stop it.” She mutters as she opens the first wine bottle and then pours herself a glass before continuing to pour wine into the rest of the glasses.

“Stop what?” He asks quietly and grabs the other bottle to open.

“Stop staring at me like that.”

He doesn’t get the chance to reply, JJ and Penelope coming over to grab their own glasses and quickly whisking her away with conversations about Penelope’s latest date.

All things considered, it goes better than she had thought. Haley seems to loosen up and Aaron is keeping a safe distance from her. It’s a beautiful day and they get to relax in each other’s company, something they hadn’t done in months. It’s a good day and yet she can’t keep herself from lusting after him. She doesn’t do anything about it, his child and wife are there, they’re surrounded by their friends and coworkers, and yet, she wants him.

And he wants her too. He might be staying away, but his eyes seem to linger on her, dark eyes following her movements and she knows that they’re walking a thin line.

He finds her alone in the kitchen as she rinses off plates, Spencer having left her just moments before to collect some of the trash.

“I told you to stop.” She doesn’t turn to look at him, doesn’t need to when she feels his presence behind her, not close enough to touch, but close enough for the hairs at the back of her neck to rise.

“You look beautiful.” He whispers and after making sure no one is around he takes a step closer, close enough to smell her perfume as he lets one finger drag slowly up her arm, and when she shivers he smiles.

“Please don’t.” She almost drops the plate in her hand, stops to lean against the counter to try to keep some resemblance of control.

“Why?” He husks, somehow unable to keep away from her even now.

“Your wife is outside. With your child. And if you don’t-” She starts but then he pushes up fully behind her and she feels him, strong chest and warm hands, the bulge of him in his jeans.

“If I don’t what?” He knows that he needs to walk away, that this was beyond reckless. It was stupid. But then she made a low sound, a mewl, a sound he recognized as desperation and he couldn’t seem to stop.

“We can’t… not here.”

The sound of footsteps forces him to step away, Penelope’s heels loud against the hardwood floors.

“Do you guys need any help in here?” She asks, all smiles and bright eyes.

“No just finishing up, we’ll be out in a minute.” Aaron tells her and she walks back outside, gone as quickly as she came. For a moment he’s happy that she wasn’t a profiler, that she didn’t think about things the way the rest of them did. When he turns to look at Emily her pupils are dilated, her tongue sneaking out to wet her bottom lip and he knows that what he’s about to do is madness, but in that moment he does not care about the repercussions. “Meet me upstairs in fifteen minutes.”

She looks at him for a moment, debates with herself about how far is actually too far. But when she meets his eye she can’t seem to stop herself from nodding.

“Okay.”

He was her addiction, and she wasn’t going to quit.

Aaron walks outside and is immediately met by Haley who’s holding Jack in her arms.

“I was just about to put him down for nap.” She says and he takes him from her.

“I’ll do it, go enjoy yourself.” He smiles at her and only feels the slight pang of guilt for lying to her, feels a little more guilt for using his own son to get away from the rest of the team. But Haley smiles and nods, kisses his cheek quickly and turns back to JJ and Dave who were seated at the table talking to each other.

“Where’s Prentiss?” He hears Derek ask just as he turns to walk back inside the house, meeting Emily in the doorway with a look.

“Right here.” She gets the attention of the other man but give Aaron a subtle nod as they pass each other. It’s beyond reckless, but she couldn’t stay away.

She’s never been so happy for her upbringing as she was that day, that she could focus on the conversations around her even as excitement flows in her veins. The minutes drag on slowly, even with Derek’s jokes and Rossi’s stories. He was still new to the team, someone she didn’t know well yet, didn’t trust him like she trusted the rest, but he was warming up to them, and she to him.

“I have to use the bathroom.” She excuses herself after close to fifteen minutes had passed and she stands.

“The downstairs one is still a mess, go upstairs and it’s the second door to the right.” Derek tells her and she smiles her thanks. Perfect.

She finds him upstairs, just coming out of a bedroom with a baby monitor in hand. When he sees her, he stops and looks at her, a cross between want and doubt on his face.

“We’re being stupid.” She says for him, knows that’s what he’s thinking. To her surprise he walks towards her until he can take her hand and drag her into another bedroom.

“We are.” He tells her and puts the baby monitor down before pushing her up against the wall behind her. “We have to be quick.” His warm hand moves under her dress until he reaches the apex of her thighs.

“You’re sure?” Her voice comes out only slightly shaky and then his fingers drag along the seam of her underwear, feeling her wetness through the silk and she bites back a moan.

“Yes.” He claims her lips in a kiss at the same time he moves her underwear to the side to press two fingers inside of her, making sure she was ready. When he finds her wet and hot he bites her bottom lip. “You have to be quiet.” He mumbles as she drags his zipper down and then pushes his jeans and boxers down enough for him to feel the air on his heated shaft.

“So do you.” She smirks, her hand around him and when he hisses she feels a sense of accomplishment. Her legs wrap around his hip and his hand wraps under her thigh, keeping her steady as he pushes her harder against the wall. When he pushes inside of her it’s with a rough thrust, and the feeling pushing the air from her lungs.

He exhales sharply, the feeling of her always amazing and he gives them a moment before he starts to move. They don’t have time to waste so they don’t, his movements hard and fast as Emily’s fingers dig into his shirt, her head thrown back and her lip between her teeth in an effort to stay as quiet as possible.

“You like this?” He whispers against her ear, ragged breath and breathy words. “You fucking love it.”

“Y-yes.” She gasps and his eyes darken just slightly. It was wrong, so unbelievably wrong, and it only seemed to spur her on, being close to getting caught, knowing that he chose to come to her even with his wife just downstairs, it was thrilling, something she shouldn’t find arousing but did. Her fingers dug harder into his shoulder as he moved with quicker strokes and he quickly grabbed both her wrists and pinned them above her head.

“No marks.” He growled in her ear, dark and low and she let her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud.

“Fuck Aaron, harder.” She pulled him against her using her leg, forcing him as deep inside of her as possible and the low moan that left her lips caused him to quickly let go of her wrists to cover her mouth.

“Shh, quiet.” He stares her down as he continues to move, keeps his hand over her mouth when she starts to tremble. “Think you can keep quiet sweetheart? Think you can keep from screaming?”

She nodded against his hold, the smugness only getting her closer and she made a mental note to get him back at some other time. But then he changes the angle and only a few seconds later she comes, her orgasm rushing through her so fast she goes lightheaded. Her leg buckles and if he hadn’t expected it she would have fallen, but he’s there, keeping her against the wall as the pleasure washes over her.

He doesn’t move away until he knows she can stand, and carefully sets her leg down then turns her around. He’s back inside of her in moments, buries his face in junction of her neck and shoulder to keep his own groan down.

“Gorgeous thing, all mine.” He lets one hand move around her body until he’s wrapping it around her throat, squeezing loosely, the other moves down to hold her dress up enough to watch the way her body takes him.

“Yours, jesus Aaron.” She bites her hand to keep from moaning, the pleasure of him close to maddening as he keeps fucking her with even strokes. Then she feels his hand move over her hip, toward her ass until he gently presses his thumb against her other hole.

“Have you ever?” He pants, eyes fastened on the way her hole tightens as he presses the pad of his thumb against it, but she doesn’t tense up or move away from him.

“No. Never.” She expects him to try and push his thumb in there, but he doesn’t. Instead he grabs her hip and pulls her back hard against him as his hand tightens around her throat.

“Maybe some other time.” He groans quietly, the thought of being her first getting him to the edge in record time. She must feel it, because she moves back against him as his hips stutter, her walls squeezing his shaft until his jaw clenches and he bites back a groan as he comes inside of her. He can hear her low whimper through the ringing in his ears, the sound breathy and low even as his hand stays wrapped around her throat. His legs tremble as the pleasure overtakes him and only when he feels like he can breathe again, does he move away from her.

Emily quickly fixes her underwear and pulls her dress down, her hands moving to brush through her dark hair and she smiles at him.

“Can you come over soon?” She asks as he puts himself back together too.

“I’ll try.” He promises, and that’s enough for her.

She walks down first and when he joins them a couple of minutes later he notices the look Dave sends him. But he doesn’t say anything and before he can ask the older man what’s wrong Haley comes up to him.

“You were gone a while.”

“Sorry it took a while to get Jack down.” He lies, silently wondering when his life became this mess.

They keep fighting, fight until he’s not even sure what they’re fighting about. Haley rarely raises her voice, but when she does he knows that she’s moments away from saying something she’ll regret later. And then it comes.

“You put everything before us, before Jack. Every single day. It’s like you don’t want to be here at all.”

“You know that’s not true Haley.” He can feel his own anger, simmering, barely contained. There was some truth to her words, that’s why he’s angry, he would never wish something else for his life, couldn’t imagine a life without Jack. But the facts were that he spent more nights than he cared to admit in another woman’s apartment.  

“Isn’t it?” Her nails are digging into her upper arms, rage she doesn’t want to show making her body shake. “You chose your job every day. You could have a normal job and-”

“And what?!” His voice is louder than he means it, and he can tell that it startles her. “Be miserable? Is that what you want?”

“Bottom line is, we aren’t enough for you.” Her words make him furious and he slams a cabinet loud enough for the wood to crack slightly. The sudden bang wakes Jack up, his cries cutting through their fury for a moment.

“I’ll go.” She says, her voice suddenly soft and tired, like all the fight drained out of her. “I’m not going to live like this Aaron. I’m done.”

Aaron watches her as she goes. He never thought his life would turn out like this.

[youngparadisedonut]

Please come back.. I need my comfort page.

Those fans are now throwing the race card once again for Carlos cause they don’t like how some people write fan fiction..

The face that we can’t criticize characters anymore without getting told we’re racist is embarrassing 

Right now I'm in the process of looking for a new show to obsess over, so I don't know what is happening. I’m not gonna watch the new season and I stopped following the Lone Star tags.

I can talk about what I observed/felt when I was part of the fandom, though.

People are allowed to criticize Carlos because of his actions. It’s ok to still be angry/upset at his character for how he behaved in the Carlos Being Married With Iris Storyline. Yeah, Carlos has every right to be flawed (he’s human), but the problem was never about him being flawed – the problem was that he never acknowledged how unfair he was to his partner.

So here why I don't like Carlos.

1. Carlos never told TK he was already married until it was too late. He simply accepted TK’s proposal and decided to keep the secret.

2. Carlos was only honest with TK after that because he had no other choice, and then when he finally was open with TK about it he decided that it would be a very good idea to have this very delicate conversation in TK’s workplace in the middle of TK’s shift.

3. Carlos saw nothing wrong with Iris thinking it was her place to approve/or disapprove TK.

4. Carlos made wife jokes even if was clear TK was so not comfortable with that and never once acted like he regreted hiding this from TK.

5. Carlos put all decisions about the divorce (something that affected his and TK’s future) in Iris  hands (someone who was a stranger to TK).

6. Carlos blamed TK when Iris went missing. Whenever TK had a conflict with Carlos (meeting Carlos parents, how uncomfortable Carlos was with Cooper), TK is always so understanding (even if sometimes he is angry first and needs to cool of a bit, he always comes back to talk things) and validates Carlos feelings, but Carlos? He was so hostile.

7. That Carlos comment about bad relationships that was obviously directed at TK that you all like to ignore, guess what? It happened.

8. Carlos never apologized for any of this. He never recognized to TK that he was wrong and TK had nothing to do with Iris missing, he never admitted that he treated TK badly. How can I be expected to be go past that when Carlos never acknowledge what he did?

For me those are valid reasons for not liking him.

Because TK is not perfect. He made a lot of mistakes, but he always (or at least most of the time) admits them and apologizes.

I defend TK so much because I don’t think a part of the fandom truly understands how addiction can affect someone.

Thing is, there’s this mindset in the fandom that Carlos was this defenseless boy who chased after TK, when this wasn't never the point. Not only TK had his heart broken, he relapsed. That’s a lot. He had reasons for not wanting to jump in a new relationship, and he was upfront about this with Carlos. He was clear about his boundaries. And if he never wanted something serious with Carlos in the end? He would also be valid. He owned Carlos nothing but being truthful, which he was.

TK is considered immature and childish when a lot of this traits (his impulsiveness, for example) are direct connected with his addiction. And what Iris said about TK being a mess and a project that you guys think its so funny? It's so problematic, harmful and could be triggering, especially because it’s directed at someone who deals with addiction.

But for those who act like Carlos should not be criticized, fear not. TK major character trait since season 4 is being in love with Carlos. It’s so obvious that from now on TK main role will be to support Carlos, and I doubt that at this point he will have a storyline of his own.

[wrightingdungeon]

Cliff side talks

This takes place in Shane's 6 heart event with mentions of 2 and 4 heart scenes

FIRST THINGS FIRST - You are loved, You deserve to be safe, Eat/Drink Something, yes you can eat cake and drink jucie, its edible and makes you happy eat/drink it, Let yourself feel what you feel, ASK FOR HELP YOU NEED IT, We all need it, I needed it

Warning: A curse word or two, Self Hate, Looking over a cliff, Depression, might hit close to home, Kinda personal, Listened to Hollywood Undead “Bullet” to remind me how i felt when I married Shane the first time, loose canon, Shane has brown eyes fight me - look at this https://sdv-community.tumblr.com/post/170012882859/the-person-confused-by-his-purple-hair-here-he-has 

Walking towards the cliff where you had helped that Racoon/Tanooki thing clean up the beach under the cliff, you felt numb. You had told everyone you moved here to take over the farm after Grandpa died, that was a half-truth. Working in that cube farm of Joja’s was mentally and physically killing you, looking up only to see a camera pointed directly at you, that dull buzz of the blinking work light. You had no purpose, a twenty-something-year-old slaving away just to make enough to wake up the next day.

Yes now you lived in Pelican town and everyone was so nice, besides a few off-put people when you first moved in, but you should be happier now, right? You shouldn't be walking to the cliff just to stare down at the waves crashing into the shore, to dream about not hurting, just to chicken out and go home. No today you wouldn't chicken out, you had grown tired of the feeling you traded a cube farm job for being a lap dog for the town. No one really batted an eye at how you had cleaned up the town, and no one said anything about you fixing the bus line, it was like they loved you fixing their town but they couldn't show it for some reason.

Did you not deserve it, you must have been selfish to want more praise than a pat on the head and a "You did your job.". Hell, you have been keeping your lips shut about Lewis and the golden statue that he has, that he definitely spent town funding on. You kept your mouth shut about what you had seen in Pierre’s room, his own wife had no idea what he was hiding. Well, you were going to be selfish tonight, the rain soaking to your bone, the grass squishing under your feet. You have wanted to be selfish long before moving here, this was just a last effort and it seemed an effort lost.

As the cliffs came into focus a body lying at the edge surrounded by cans did as well. You froze for a second, no one really came out this late or hung out that close to the cliff, you thought you'd be alone. Walking closer the features became clearer, Shane. He was lying face down his shoulders and body shaking. His cries became clearer and louder as you came to stand above him. 

“F-Farmer?” You heard him weakly call looking up at you, his eyes puffy and bloodshot, his face beet red, the smell of beer somehow clinging to him not allowing the rain to wash it off. “Shane….” You said softly as you set next to him, feet dangling off the ledge of the cliff. “I…..I’m Sorry…” He cried quietly and threw hiccups. “M….My life….It’s a Pathetic joke….Look at me…” His hand came off the ground in a half-assed gesture, and his words came out of him almost like your minds had been attached, he said everything you had been thinking about yourself. “Why do I even try?” A larger sob rang out “I'm too small and stupid to…to take control of my own life…I’m just a p…piece of garbage flittering in the wind…” 

“I don't think that…” You whispered stopping yourself from reaching over to touch and play with his hair. You knew from your own thoughts though that the self-hating was tough, to be your own enemy, to tear yourself down so effortlessly. “I’ve been coming here often lately….looking down…Here’s a chance to finally take control of my life….these cliffs…” You both have been doing the same thing but you had never run into each other till now, ‘Life works that way sometimes…’ you thought looking down at the depressed man who had caught your eye.

His past words playing in your mind, that night on the dock, Shane had given you one of his beers. “You ever feel like…no matter what you do, you're gonna fail?” You had just moved to Pelican Town barely had any crops, had just stopped working in IT….The last time your hands had touched soil you were a child visiting Pelican town for ONE summer, yes every night you fell asleep to thoughts of failure and disappointment. “...Like you’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day?” 

You could see Shane looking at you from the corner of your eye, how do you respond? This was an actual conversation you were having not just him telling you to leave him alone, he was opening up to you, and it felt like a cat ran away with your tongue. “I just feel like no matter how hard I try…I’m not strong enough to climb out of that hole.” Bringing the beer to your mouth you began to drink maybe some liquid courage would help you tell Shane you know what he is feeling, it may not be the same, but similar. 

You didn't even register you had chugged the whole beer when Shane began to chuckle at you. “Heh… fast drinker, huh? You are after my heart aren't you.” He said lord, you were so happy your face was red from chugging or he might have caught on to your crush. “Just don’t make it a habit… You got a future ahead of you still.” The slight pain you hear in his voice and the downward look in his eyes make your heartache if only he knew. Shane had reached over and pat you on the head a few times before standing up. “Welp… My liver’s beggin’ me to stop. Better call it a night… See you around Farmer.”

Pulling yourself back into the moment you looked back down at the soaked depressed man lying next to you. “B… Bu…*blaap*... but I’m too scared, too anxious. Just like always…” A mix of sobs and belches left him in between his words. “Farmer… All I do is work, sleep, and drink…t… to dull the feelings of self-hatred…” You knew how that went, remembering the days when you'd dragged yourself to the office, worked all day, skipped lunch because you couldn't afford more than a meal a day, went home, and fell onto the couch watching whatever was on the TV, far too tired to change the channel. 

Another flashback began to take you remembering when you and Marnie had to break into his room because he had drunk himself halfway into a coma. “You wouldn’t understand…” Those words cut into you because you did understand if only you could tell Shane that yes, you get it, yes you wanna stop as well, you are just as low as he is. The cry that left Jas when Shane said “Hopefully I won’t be around long enough to need a ‘plan’...” You and Shane hadn't seen her walk in, but you both did see her run away in tears. Marnie followed her while you stayed with Shane as he began to have a panic attack.

“Why should I even go on? Tell me. T...tell me why I shouldn't roll off this cliff right now…” His cry for help breaks you out of your memory. “Shane…” You couldn't help yourself you let yourself be selfish and work your fingers into his hair. It was greasy and definitely needed to be washed but who has time for a shower when you are busy trying to get out of bed, you definitely knew what that felt like, your toothbrush being almost abandoned because you had no time really for self-care. 

"Jas needs you. You’re like a father to her…” You said brushing his hair up and out of his eyes, his brown eyes looking up at you filling with tears, he was biting his lip but you could still see it was quivering. “...You’re right… Jas… Ugh, Fuck, God….I’m a fucking horrible, *hic*... Selfish Person… Now I feel even worse…” He weakly and unsuccessfully tried to remove your hand from his hair, before giving up and leaning into your touch. 

“I’m horrible…” You whispered feeling Shane move to peek up at you, your eyes locked to the bottom of the cliff. “I was going to be selfish today… I… I don't….I’m so tired Shane…” From seeing Shane's face you knew the rain was doing nothing to hide that your eyes had begun to puff and tears ran down your cheeks, falling and getting lost in your soaked clothes. “What…” Shane said looking up at you. “I do the same thing… I come to this ledge and think about just... leaning over and falling off…” Looking down at Shane you could see surprise but also…fear? In his eyes. “I don't know how we have never run into each other…” A laugh escaped in between tiny sobs as you tried to wipe the tears away with your free hand. 

“I…I guess I… I’m tired of trying to get everyone to like me….I’m tired of giving Vincent cookies when his own mother could make them, Pam hasn't actually said thank you for me FIXING HER bus, Haley always has something to say about my appearance and it feels like she really knows how to put a person down.” It was all coming out, what you wanted to say at the docs, what you wanted to say as you held Shane and calmed him down in his room, everything you wanted to scream out over the cliff into the ocean air…just came out. 

“Farmer….I…I’m sorry…” Feeling Shane’s hand slide across your lap and grip your side, a calmness came over you, Shane saw you and you saw Shane, both of you at the bottom of a barrel with a shotgun pointed at you two. “Farmer…I think you should take me to the hospital now…” He groaned his face turning a slight green. “Oh fuck, yeah!” Helping Shane up and letting him throw an arm over your shoulder, leaning a bit on you, you both made your way, soaking wet and shivering, to Harvey's.

A split second you looked back at the ledge, who had talked who away from it, who pulled the other back to safety. Both of you, both had.

The next morning you woke up to someone at your door, and a panic had set in. It was Harvey coming to tell you Shane had finally drunk himself to death. Rushing to the door and opening it, you smiled seeing Shane standing there holding his arm where Harvey had IVed him, his eyes burning holes into his feet. “Shane…You're ok…” You said smiling softly. “Hey… Fuck…uh… How do I say this… I’m really sorry about what happened at the cliffs…. It was… embarrassing…” He said his eyes looking up to meet yours. “I’m glad I was there to help.” You said carefully reaching out to place your fingers on his hand. “...I’m glad you're here too…I…I mean…Ye-yeah, me too.” He said, blushing and laughing, looking around to save a bit of his dignity. “I… I’ve decided I want to see a therapist. Harvey got me in touch with a colleague of his…I…I'll tell you how it goes… I think… I think you should try it as well.”

He was looking right into your eyes as he said you should give it a try. “I… I know I'm a pot calling the kettle black….but…I…I really want you to stay…” Your cheeks lit up, this was the first time he said something like that. “Y…Yeah…I’ll give it a shot…” You said not leaving his gaze. “You know Shane… I just woke up… Do you want to stay, and help feed the chickens?” Seeing him smile wide was all the coffee you needed today. “That sounds like a great idea.”

[silverstonesainz-archive]

it’s still the 15 in la so forgive me for the late submission i’m adoring these least-to-most-likely scenarios and would love to hear your thoughts on the 2023 grid + danny, mick, and seb in terms of who’d successfully one day randomly pop up with a secret wife of ten years and three kids as if it were a casual thing

from least-to-most-likely... im sorry this is so long and a lil late

lando -> idk i think its a generational thing where soft launches & validation through social media is all the rave. so i think lando wouldnt or even couldn't hide it even if we wanted to. and i think lando likes showing off his girl, hes very comfortable in his relationships (ie talking about luisa in dts).

pierre -> absolutely not. he loves showing off what– rather who, he loves. i mean yall.... his photos with katerina are still up on his instagram he loves that shit. SO NO he will not being keeping a wife and family a secret. if he had it his way he would livestream his wife giving birth. tell me i'm wrong, i dare you.

logan -> he is a young, white man. and i mean white. american white. and if there is anything i know about caucasian men in all my years of dealing with them, there is no hiding a girl even if their life depended on it. same deal as lando too, where soft launches and the need for validation through posting is very much ingrained in the current dating culture sooooo yea.

fernando -> this man is so unserious, and also a boomer-wanna-be-gen-z when it comes to social media so its all about sharing his love and his corazon. though i will say he will be pretty selective with what he shares. and i think he'd pull a rosberg, in that he will post family photos but with emojis over his baby's faces.

nico -> something about this man just tells me that he enjoys the validation and the sharing a lot. we'd hear about the engagement, the pregnancy, all through instagram. but i think he'd do it in cringey cute way. my man is on pinterest with "cute pregnancy announcement inspo" in the search bar.

checo -> he is a proud papa & husband (minus that time in monaco). he loves having his family around him so there isn't a reason why he would ever keep it a secret. though i will say, much like he already does, he would try to keep his family/personal life very much seperate from his work. i think all we'd see of his family is when they show up to races or milestones/birthdays via social media.

charles -> i think he just loves sharing pieces of his life with us that keeping his family a secret would be impossible. charles would 100% walk onto the paddock with his daughter on his hip. they would be wearing matching sunglasses (raybans bc forza ferrari. and not her own pair, one of daddy's). but not outfits bc mama dressed her baby, not charles.

valterri -> he tries to keep what goes on in his personal life as on the down low as possible. i think that he would definitely try to keep his kids out of pap photos & try to hide their faces but other than that i think we would all be aware of his ever-growing family. i think he'd do smth cheesy like post a photo from the back of him and his son with matchin mullets. or maybe a photo of lewis carrying his daughter bc 'uncle lew had to get a matching outfit with his god daughter.'

oscar -> i could've lumped him higher on the list with lando/logan but smth about oscar tells me otherwise. like idk what it is about him but i think he'd try to keep it on the hush hush for as long as he can before eventually sharing with the world. we'd be surviving off soft launches for a WHILE methinks. (but i could be so wrong bc idk oscar this is just based off his face).

kevin -> we'd know (i mean we know now). but similar to fernando in a sense where he chooses what pieces of his time with his wife and kids he wants to share with the world. i think he is very protective of his family and the peace he's worked on building around them.

esteban -> you know... with the way his & elena's relationship is going i can definitely see this man randomly dropping that he's married one day. but the thing is, is that we would all already have an idea of who his wife is, if that makes sense. we'd get little bouts of content from him. a very 'private, not secret' type beat.

nyck -> just like esteban in a sense where we'd know who the wife would be. i think the marriage would come as a shock, but as their family grows i think he'd drop hints and stuff. nyck will definitely bring his kid(s) to at least one race a year and i just have an inkling that his child would be a menace.

alex -> he's happy to share the small moments with the world, but oh it would be very sparse. just little crumbs here and there. he protects what he loves so much, but he's much too proud and excited not to share. think of all the baby photos with all the animals. the matching hair-dos. the baby hating photos as much as dad hates media so when the paps come around baby has the same frown.

daniel -> we would know, but i think he would take his time introducing that part of his life to us. we'd always know he's married & has kids, but we would also have to live off of soft launches for a bit. daniel is a proud man, proud of the life he builds and who he chose to build it with. and daniel would 100% walk onto the paddock with his kids hanging off of him. his daughter on his back, son upside down in his arms.... do you see the vision???

lewis -> this man could go either way. on the one hand i can see lewis showing off the love of his life and his family bc thats what lewis does. he shows off the people he loves. but then i can also see him keeping it quiet, keeping just a piece of his life a secret because in the position he's in, he doesn't have too many secrets to himself left. so yeah... but tell me what yall think.

carlos -> carlos would've been lower on the list with all that 'i protect love' crap but me personally, i just don't see it. i think that we'd all somehow find out about his engagement + growing family somehow. like carlos is always being followed by the paps for literally WHAT. so yeah, i don't think it would be best kept secret. also he's such a family man, i think he'd jump at the opportunity to share his family with the world.

lance -> i know lance has posted his s.o. before, but there is something about this man that tells me when it's a love that he really really values and wants to protect, he will keep it a secret. he will keep them away from the limelight, from the unnecessary attention for as long as possible. idk about 10yrs and then pop out with a whole wife & kids, but i definitely think he'd be the type randomly drop on wednesday that he's engaged.

george -> i think this man could pull it off if he wanted to. i think he'd go ghost on social media in terms of what he does in his personal time. like itll be all race content until one day he just drops a photo of him & his wife welcoming their new baby. i can see it. but i think it all depends on him.

yuki -> idk i think in a relationship he'd be very reserved about it. i think that he'd hate the attention he would end up receiving about dating, so much so he'd prefer if no one knew right away. i think that we'd always know he's with someone bc of like soft launch-esque photos of hands/back of their head. but yeah we'd never truly know who until much much later.

guanyu -> guanyu truly gives me vibes of wanting to protect his family and try to keep them separate from his work. and not even in a malicious way, but in a sense where he doesn't want the people he loves most to be put under undeserving scrutiny. he'd find ways to bring them to races & events but truly, the public would never know.

max -> if were being completely honest here, we know so much about max's love life because of who he's involved with. but if he had it his way, i think we he would pull it off. like i think he would randomly drop the "my wife & kids" line out of no where and it would take the world by storm. and max would say it so nonchalantly too.

mick -> i think that he could pull it off. even in his last relationship, i dont recall ever seeing him post about/with her so... he is definitely a very very private guy. and he has a very tight group of friends at that, so i doubt any information would ever get out to the public unless mick makes a move first.

seb -> he's a very private guy, who didn't even have instagram until last year... and it was to announce his RETIREMENT. and though we know about hannah, we don't know much about his kids. i think i remember kym telling a story about how sebastian asked him & other photographers not to photograph his kids when they came on the paddock so.... seb will go through hoops and the extra mile to be sure a secret is kept.

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Enid is married to wednesday addams, they've had their bumps in the road but they married young and things have been going pretty well.

Enid has a daughter, she has the lovely shade of her wife's eyes and curly black hair that Enid knows must've been from her mom.

Then one day as Enid goes up the elevator to drop off her wife's food, she can't help but tilt her head as a delivery man leaves her wife's office. Wednesday loves her coffee but enough to order a drink?

oh well, she must've been craving something!

Enid doesn't think much of it, skipping in with a 'hello dear!' but her smile falls when Wednesday doesn't reply like usual.

"Day?" she wonders, voice much more quiet. Maybe she was having an off day. "Did something happen?"

As if a switch was flipped, Wednesday looked up. "enid," she replies and Enid can't help her smile from coming back when she comes close enough to feel Wednesday's arms wrap around her waist.

Her wife looks up to her, eyes so deadly serious with a glint that she hasn't seen before. "I love you," she vows and before Enid can say it back, Wednesday's grip tightens. "Don't forget that I always have and always will."

Enid gives a look, raising a brow but her smile stays indulging. "I love you too!!" and she brings Wednesday into a hug. "now cmon! lets eat."

As they chew and enjoy the meal, Enid's eyes are drawn to the words 'weathervane' branded into a coffee cup. Wednesday hasn't drank from it this whole time.

She really shouldn't have cared, she would've forgotten about it actually until the cup keeps appearing. At first, it comes every few days then every three, then every other then every day.

The drink is always left undrank and she doesn't know why but watching the drink be a constant on Wendesday's table leaves her fingers curling into fists.

But! Everything is okay, Enid thinks. Maybe she's just a bit paranoid. Wednesday has been getting a bit distant lately but she's a CEO, she's busy, totally understandable!

besides, free time means baby time! and Enid never fails to pick up her baby from school. They talk and they chatter. Enid gasps as her child cheers and talks about the gossip that happened in class.

But then her baby mentions something new. Its not about a teacher teaching so and so or how a student tripped and ate sand. No, it was about a man greeting her with a smile, a packaged snack in his hand.

Enid was rightfully concerned, her grip tight on the steering wheel as she tried to weasel as much info as she could without sounding mad.

What she hears has the wheel creaking from her grip.

"Curly man!" Her baby describes and her lovely pup digs through her bag to present the snack to her mom with enthusiasm. "He was wondering where my daddy is," she chatters, fiddling with the package before her eyes peer into the tightening jaw of her mother.

"There is no daddy, baby," Enid says, her voice soft and carefully straining to not show what she thought about what she just heard. "Just me and momma, no daddy needed!"

"mhm!" her baby agrees and finally, she tears at the package at a red stop. "can i eat this?" she wonders, waving it in her hands. "curly man said it was okay!" then her brows furrow. "but mommy says no."

Enid was about to remind about the rules of taking things from strangers before she nearly tears into her steering wheel when she sees the brand printed on the bag.

Weathervane.

With a smile she can't believe she's forcing, Enid carefully takes the bag away, shaking her head as her baby pouts and whines. "You know not to eat things from strangers, dearest!" she playfully reminds, bopping onto that button nose she inherited from Wednesday.

When her baby curls her lips and her eyes grow teary, Enid leans over to press a kiss onto that curly hair. "next time, i'll get you something better."

As her child cheers, Enid tosses the bag out the window and into the nearest trashbin.

She could've ignored the drink sitting by wednesday's desk, ignored the way a man would always walk out just as she comes in; Enid could've ignored everything.

As the car settles into the driveway of their home, Enid opens the door for her daughter and watches her skip all the way to the front door. Wednesday answers it and Enid stares as her wife scoops their baby in her arms, a soft smile in a usually stoic face.

Most of the time, Enid would smile with them, joining in with a cheer as she holds the people that matters. Instead, she's left with a buzz in her stomach and a bitter taste in her tongue.

but then they had to involve her daughter.

Its only right for Enid to visit Weathervane. With how they keep going out of their way to say hi, its only right to return the favor.

or,

im bored!! and i thought yknow what, i like some drama and so this came into mind. We usually have an outright violent and murderous enid but i wanted to do something alot more colder

so... is the baby enid's or tyler's?

funfact! Enid is a transwoman in this au and while it isn't that huge here, i do have plans where people think they must've had a donor so its a bit of a sore subject because she's sure that her baby is hers and Wednesday's...

right?

not to mention that when Enid first dropped her daughter to school, most would ask where the father is (wednesday was working) and Enid had to explain that there is no father but two mothers. Then when mothers get too curious during bring your parent to school day, enid to explain that she and Wednesday were indeed her baby's biological parents

anyways thoughts over, idk how else to explain this but its convoluted and wednesday's a touch emotionally incompetent as always but the family is doing their best