#i keep forgetting to post here HELP
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Day 6; Betrayal
#I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST HERE HELP#anyways#this is for my pals ghost hunting au#go check it out!#its called a ghost story by Lemobread on a03#a ghost story#a ghost story au#hermitcraft au#trafficblr#mcyttober#mcytober#mcyttober2023#tangotek fanart#tangotek#bdoubleo100#bdouble100 fanart#bdubs fanart#team best#this scene gave me SM anxiety it was INSANE
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me last night: hheeeeeeugggg im so sleepy i should go to sleep early tonight i slept so late last night
my brain: RECREATE THE ENTIRE SS FLAVION IN MINECRAFT RIGHT NOW
#i keep forgetting to post here HELP#so why not post about the current stuff im building#i need to research boat anatomy and interiors for this later#minecraft#photo#jerms artā¦?#mc builds#i was so excited to do flavios room that i couldnt wait and made a beta version of it outside of the ship . LMAAOO#paper mario#paper mario ttyd#flavio#first was from yesterday and the second is from today ^_^#i simplified it a bit of course because i was struggling a little bit#and i literally got minecraft like . 2 days ago so iām not the best builder yet
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole itās electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#donāt you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that youāre just having fun#but iām making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#āhousehold nameā firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now itās just this.#i keep forgetting#and then iām here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but itās so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Ummā¦ Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and iām done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#iām not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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momentary freedom š©
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I've got a secret, A lolirock star..
#lolirock#lolirock iris#lolirock mephisto#iris princess of ephidia#iris lolirock#help i keep forgetting to post here#girly secret
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Probably die first in a horror movie
#fgo#servant summer camp~chaldea's thriller night~#i had a lot of fun with this event but I keep forgetting to post pics about it lmao#XuFu and paisen were a delight-exact same in unhinged#my anxiety ridden purse dog that bites XuFu :)#I usually dislike anything illya prisma but this illya is okay she suffered for our sins#wished we had more sibling interactions and more emiya being nerdy#the advance team really had the time of their lives while we're fighting for our lives#gintama reference if you know you know#really out here having wildly different experiences on murder mountain#double lake really took me out the first time like that can't explain everything->explains everything#nito somehow became the manager of discount hell#wished we communicated across the lake with morse code using the bus sign and sigurd's glasses#sigurd....bestie....you are not helping your case here#kiara: how big that dick boi#guda: small. leave me alone.
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My favourite catboy
#the cat returns#the cat returns baron#Baron Humbert von Gikkingen#studio ghibli#ghibli film#ghibli#help uhhhh#i might have to mass post my stuff here again bc i keep forgetting i have a tumblr#erm i love him so much actually#furry#err..#traditional art#scrapbook
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Something something audience participation and regret over the decisions they make
#ranboo#generation loss#generation loss fanart#ranboo fanart#my art#i keep forgetting to post here too whoops#anyways i just. love the concept of Evil Audience in genloss#audience participation does Not mean audience help...
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(Wondering why I've been feeling like total garbage shit for days on end) (remembers that I actually have a genuine hardcore hyperfixation right now and for some stupid fucking reason I just stopped playing the game for like a week now) FUCK !!! I'M SO FUCKING STUPID OH MY GOD I LITERALLY JUST HAVE TO PLAY REGRETEVATOR TO FIX ME OH MY GODDD
#tide of consciousness#I'M ??? HELP#I was sitting here feeling like garbage as has been happening for days and then I see a post about regretevator and#And it literally felt like I died i got so excited and i started tearing up I'M SO STUPIDDD#I've been going so long with casual interests I forgot I have to engage our die I'm in engage or die mode!!! It's been ages !!!#It's not helped by my weird inclination to just keep doing something if it happens too many times in a row#I didn't play for a couple days? Guess we doin don't play the game now#Fuck me wow. Why do I do. How do I forget these things. This is basic survival tactics for me . Sigh
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your weak little label maker vs my powerful masking tape and a sharpie
#im losing my mind in here but im so close to done#i just gotta finish sorting the shit on my desk and then its laundry eternity#this isnt true i have my shelves that i dont use and what remains of under my bed. which i keep forgetting about. but im so close#i hope you all are enjoying following me on my cleaning/packing adventure its a time#original post placeholder tag#thank u to all the mutuals who said they would help me move by the way i didnt acknowledge that at all but it made me a little teary eyed#love u all
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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO šš„“#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
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everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone
#snap chats#someone pointed this out to me like last year so im stealing it sorry cause I Think Of It Constantly#the handling of masato's disability will forever annoy me esp with how vague it is but esp his chair#one day ill draw masato with an appropriate wheelchair. maybe then he'll be happy for once#in a way i guess it could tie into how restricted or trapped he felt since the type of chair he's shown is more like. a hospital one#and not one youd really use as a regular user- like in that vein it is a bit of storytelling in that he can ONLY go out with help#since hospital chairs are SO much different from home chairs ESPECIALLY in regards to mobility and independence the user has#AND NOT TO MENTION HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THOSE CHAIRS ARE get his ass a proper cushion P L E A S E#like it portrays the idea that its unfathomable for him to go anywhere on his own and so in that vein . Interesting Storytelling#theres a lot of implications going on here if im so honest and again it makes for Really Interesting Story Telling#however i refuse to give rgg credit like that when it comes to disabilities. ... they havent earned that from me yet#see this is why the vagueness of his condition annoys me because he's shown to be independent enough to roll himself to his elevator#and presumably get himself dressed but he cant have a proper chair ?#because ik there are people who have expressed they have conditions where even writing is tiring#so if his condition was in-line with that and it was hard for him to push himself in his chair then i could buy it#obviously the issue lies with his lungs but i just want to know the full extent yk...#to wrap this up tho ive been thinking of character design in rgg and how we dont give credit to it enough#sooooo if i make a second post ten minutes from now thats why cause i keep forgetting to spam my thoughts on here LMAO#ok bye
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You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:
"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"
So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)
But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.
So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?
#I hope this isn't controversial I'd hate for a bunch of folks to come here and start arguing /srs#legitimately hate just the idea of having to deal with that#I just like to talk about myself and part of myself is this#I'd say āone of the rare times this isn't about being nonhumanā but I'm trying to keep this an open blog for my thoughts#since if I make it a ānonhuman blogā then once I stop fixating on this and it becomes another part of my identity#I'll forget about this blog and just vanish#and that's already happened once with a vocaloid blog so I'm trying to prevent it#I just want to stay away from toxicity or discohrse cause that certainly wouldn't help my life or mental health#I made this blog to help me feel better not worse lol#anywayssss#actually gifted#since I heard of someone asking gifted folks to use this tag like they do āactually autisticā and āactually ADHDā ones#I hope you'll take this post#I might post more about giftedness in the future so I'll use that one if I do :D#intellectual giftedness#actually autistic#also ADHD but that'd be a lot to mention here#just know that's why I said *some* of my executive dysfunction#if my experience feels off that might be why#autism#oh and here's the āI probably got something wrong about giftedness go do your own research please (I promise it's fun!)#and if you are gifted I'm sorry if I got stuff majorly wrongā disclaimer#alright NOW it's time for breakfast XD#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kid burnout
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Didn't feel well today or this past week and before that tbh. More fatigue than usual to the point of thinking I need to check it out with a doctor. It just sucks not knowing which thing to even look at. I got so much other shit going on I'm trying to treat atm too, but it all takes so long... <:/
Idk, just making some note of it so I remember when this came up to tell them later.
#shut your face bonka#bonka's health#I really don't post about my health and personal life here much anymore like I used to and think that's for the best.#but also sometimes helps me keep record ngl#bc I'm forgetful af
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Shop Update!
So I'm making matching Zoro & Luffy pins and the reveal will be on this Friday, Sept 22 and POs will open on the next day Sept 23, 1 PM ET time :) (will also have new stuff and bigger size for some prints will be available as well)
I will also do the 2nd batch POs for the Cora, Doffy & Law pins this time for those who missed out.
Please look forward to it!! š„³
#.store#i keep forgetting to post it here.... help me....#i forgot to post the zl interest check here too T_T but yes its happening#definitely Not bc of my self indulgence LOL#it's a need. and it's Time. big week for the ZL community
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#vent post#tw vent#my mom: itās okay youāre homeless u can come here and have a gentle landing and we can work together to get u and ur fiancĆ© back on ur feet#me: okay great now I can work off my huge overdue queue that I was having panic attacks about daily-#mom: actually fuck u ur a disgrace I need you to clean my whole house every single day and Iām going to knock on ur door every 20 minutes#and disturb ur focus (ik u have adhd itās stupid just get over it) also ur whole family knows how much of a failure u are and are going to#scream at you on the phone about how youāre not doing anything despite the fact youāve helped out every time Iāve asked and THEN SOME to#the point of eye exhaustion and shivers and mental breakdowns and then Iām going to forget it ever happened and make you do MORE chores and#yell at u if you say u need to focus again#me: ā¦ā¦.. so this is the gentle landing huh?#Iām so fucking exhausted#they keep saying my art doesnāt make money and isnāt a career LITERALLY IT IS HOW DO U THINK I PAID FOR FOOD AND RENT FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS#they keep calling it my ālittle art thingā and insisting I get a real job WHEN I HAVE ACTUAL PAID COMMISSIONS I HAVE TO WORK ON#I canāt just ignore these and fuck off to answer phones or stock shelves at your friends friends aunts car dealers place fuck OFFFFFF#like being homeless with 4 cats and 6 boxes of belongings isnāt hard enough I have to be fucking berated by people who havenāt tried talking#to me IN MY LIFE EVERRRRRR#fuck off
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