#i keep forgetting this blog exists help
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some doodles over the past few months
#warframe#warframe oc#mesa#mesa sierra#mesa rouge#i keep forgetting this blog exists help#I have completely lost track of what I have and haven't posted because I almost exclusively post stuff to a handful of peeps in discord DMs#my art
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david tennant with south london's greatest dirtbag boyband @bearsintreesofficial??? sounds like a place he should be
(also listen to their new song 'hot chocolate' when it comes out on Thursday :])
#ive been gone for so long im so sorry#i keep forgetting to put tiny dt in the coat i usually wear#but yk at least i remembered this blog exists#alec hardy#broadchurch#campbell bain#crowley#david tennant#david tennant in places he shouldn't be#doctor who#good omens#takin' over the asylum#tenth doctor#bears in trees#maybe i should ask my friends to help mod this blog idk
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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Will the Addison/spamton posts ever come back?
Yeah I am gesturing vaguely
To be fair the first like arch was completed with the last chapter and I know more is gonna happen and like be going on so I’m like in no hurry. Since I’m gonna devote major time to it when it does eventually happen. Though I know it’s a little upsetting for yall.
Maybe I’ll listen to my voice claims for them and look through notes to get back into UTDR faster but ive been in this weird slump due to work and school.
#this is funny cause I just imagined a sad amv for Spam and Banner#sometime I wish I had help or a co writer but it’s like my au alone and I’m like#a control freak on projects like this#cause I think of them constantly#also my dad got diagnosed with cancer around the same time I dropped off UTDR stuff so it’s like#I needed something way diff to not be concerned he’s fine now cancer free and I’m on break so maybe this will be a good reset#I got really into cotl but I am not a lamb narinder shipper#so you’ll probs see that and me mentioning the bendy rewrite#it’s also why I keep asks open cause sometimes o forget this blog exists cause well#I am mainly on tumblr to interact with my fandoms but no one talks so it’s like#I guess I’ll be a real person#ask#anon#utdr
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Making a new pfp ig
Tr6yfyftdtbfbjfuf I don't know where to start.
#rex the runt#pfp#help#i need my movation back#eaaahhhhh#i keep forgetting this blog exists#kill my ass
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i keep mistaking some of ur kidxelqua art for ur grian art so i have to stop and read the captions/tags every time 😭😭 is there a fundamental difference im missing that would make it any easier
hi !!!!!!! no i understand it can be pretty confusing !! its pretty messy on my blog ahahah i'll try to explain them and their place in the AU
All the kid drawings are Xelqua ! Originally it was Grian, but as the character Xelqua developed, I changed it to him. When people send requests for kid Grian, i'm drawing Xelqua, as that is the AU.
This isn't 100% accurate as I forget to do it, but Grian and Xelqua part their hair differently, kid Xelqua does too. Xelqua's hair is always a bit longer. (Grian got a haircut when he joined the Watchers, thats why his hair parts different now in evoAU and HC, he just kept it shorter ! Xelqua used to wear his hair in a ponytail during his time with the Watchers.)
The reason why i say they're "technically the same" is bc Xelqua is just another Grian from a different timeline, he just has a different name. Xelqua only exists because this one Grian joined the Watchers, new possibilités opened new timelines, ones where he died, ones where he's a Listener instead, or ran away to different servers, or stayed. Xelqua is the only one to have reached Sainthood.
Because of this, Xelqua can hop around timelines, he usually just bugs other versions of himself, helping them, giving them tnt. He finds This Grian during s8 of HC, bugging him through the boatem void, briefly possessing him later, but hey ! water under the bridge !
Xelqua's timeline doesn't exist anymore after becoming That, but by becoming That he has essentially rewritten history in other timelines, solidifying himself as a saint of destruction, a destroyer, this is what the Watchers know him as, this is what evo Grian knew him as, even if Grian caused it--It already happened--Xelqua has always been here. (It makes Grian's head hurts when Xelqua explains this to him.)
Basically: Grian set off a chain reaction when he joined the Watchers, and that opened new universes, and in doing that, Xelqua is made.
Xelqua is powerful, but also very lonely and has a lot wrong with him, which is expected he spent many years with the Watchers. Xelqua can mimic any version of Grian he wants, but if he stays in that form for too long, he'll start to forget himself and instead think "Xelqua" is a patron, rather than himself. This is why kid Xelqua will usually praise the Saint Xelqua and be proud of his own name, he just doesn't know ! It takes a little while to remember himself and change back. This also happens in high stress, (bc of course it does, i love when a character loses control of their powers hahaha,) the memory is much worse if it happens from stress. You can't talk kid Xelqua out of this, it'll stress him out further and you'll just have a little god child throwing a temper tantrum then, never a good idea.
After s8 in HC EvoAU, Xelqua hangs around, popping up sometimes in s9, mostly in his adult watcher self. They don't get along too well at first, Xelqua has a little bit of bitterness over Grian having such a fun life, all these friends, needed, wanted..... But whatever ! Xisuma doesn't know how he keeps getting in, but Xelqua has been on good behaviour, so...... Shrug... Just let him visit sometimes....
Xelqua's version of the Watchers are gone, the unfortunate conséquences of becoming a destroyer, you kinda rip your own timeline apart. This, added with the fact that he is a cautionary tale in every other reality to Watchers, means if he tries to visit other versions of his Watcher family, they won't really know who he is, and just see something destructive and chaotic. If he wants to see Aether, he'll just... hop in a timeline and change himself into a kid and quickly forget what he's done. He's lonely, ok !!
Xelqua starts doing this kid bit on HC (late s9/early s10) too, he doesn't exactly mean to, but he does feel safe there. He eats Grian's food and takes over his couch and no one can get mad at him bc he is just a little kid--grian puts him in the corner. timeout. a few dead birds hit the roof as a result.
#KID XELQUA IS VERY MUCH YOTSUBA TO ME </33 ADGHJKAD#ask#kidxelqua#evoau#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE !!!!!!!!! i try to explain the timeline as best as i can but if its still confusing i can probably. clarify more#eovAU is 90% just my own ideas so you wont find a lot of this within Evo itself
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IN EVERY UNIVERSE
── Azriel x Fem!Reader
(i try to be as non descriptive as possible but do use she / her, and mention reader being shorter than all the guys.)
CHAPTER ── INTRODUCTION
Ever since you were little, books have been your escape. Whether it was needing to get away from a bad day at school or an immature fight with a friend when you were a kid, or a rough day at work as you got older, reading allowed you to temporarily forget all of that.
You imagine what the characters might look like, you dream up scenarios for them that don’t happen in the books. And like so many others who do the exact same thing, you can’t help but wish characters were real so that they could sweep you off your feet. Ugh, what you wouldn’t give to have a certain one-armed super soldier call you doll.
You thought the MCU was where you wanted to exist the most… and then you were introduced to ACOTAR.
It didn’t take long at all for you to become another one of the many girls to fall for Azriel. You dreamt of what he might look like. And of course, knew he’d fall in love with you. Would you guys follow the enemies-to-lovers trope? Childhood best friends turned significant others? Or would it be a love-at-first sight moment for the shadowsinger, who would do everything in his power to get you to notice him? The answer depended on your mood, of course.
As much as you loved to fantasize, you also knew you had to be realistic. Azriel didn’t actually exist, at least not in your world.
One night, you even go so far as to convince yourself that all the hopeless dreaming had to stop. From that moment on, you’d still enjoy books, but you wanted to do your best to stop imagining a life for yourself in worlds you’d never get to visit.
It’s definitely easier said than done, but you go to bed that night confident that it’s the right thing to do.
Only, when you wake up the next morning… something is off. This isn’t your bedroom. The clothes you’re wearing, you’ve never seen before. And why does the man that has just entered your room look exactly like how you pictured Azriel?
TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES ONLY ── if you requested to be tagged and your name isn’t clickable, it means i wasn’t able to tag you! also sorry to anyone who might’ve gotten their hopes up thinking this tag mean i posted it, but i promise it’s coming sometime this week! this is just so i’m able to keep track of who asked to be tagged.
@namelesssav | @cinnamoodles | @orphicmeliora | @flowerprincezz | @blushingfawnsposts | @kylaisra | @princessbelleinthetardis | @msoldier | @ccacotartoglover | @vickykazuya | @thecourtofnightmaresanddreams | @mirandasidefics
TAGLIST FOR ALL THINGS AZRIEL ──
@bakananya | @thisiskaylin | @saltedcoffeescotch | @melmo567 | @chelsiemp | @lilah-asteria | @r0sluvs | @imagoddessinmystories | @sandramalikstyles-blog | @minnieoo | @durgenyx
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THIS SERIES TAGLIST, LET ME KNOW! (you can specify just this series, or all things Azriel)
#acotar au#acotar#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel fluff#azriel angst#azriel x fem!reader#azriel x female!reader#azriel x you#azriel x reader#cassian#rhysand#inner circle#acosf#acomaf#acofas#feyre archeron#elain archeron#morrigan
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I'm transmasc and I don't think I completely understand the discussion around TMA/TME.
I'm pretty sure I mostly agree with you. Like, "transandrophobia" is not a helpful or accurate description of the transmasc experience, and I can see how it could be used to belittle what transfems go through.
Transfems definitely get more attention from hate groups. Transmasc erasure sucks, but it can definitely be a blessing when the bigots are picking their targets.
I keep seeing posts comparing trans men to incels and MRAs. I haven't seen many transmascs who would warrant that comparison.
That's not to say it's necessarily an unfair comparison. On the contrary, it probably means that there's a lot of transmisogyny going around that I'm not seeing. And if I'm not seeing it, that probably means I'm inadvertently participating in it.
IDK why I felt the need to send this to you. I guess I was hoping you'd tell me how to do better, which totally isn't your job. Feel free to ignore me and/or tell me to fuck off.
I'll send you $20 for tolerating my bullshit. Have a nice day.
Ok I wanna answer this before I get too high (I'm honestly feeling it already). Thank you for the $20, when I realized I forgot to pack a lunch today that money helped me eat still so legit thank you.
So first off, "trans women get more attention from hate groups, transmasc erasure sucks but can be a blessing." (I can't copy and paste on this screen, so I'm paraphrasing) yes but I wouldn't call erasure a blessing, no matter who it's for. They're two sides of a very fucked coin, on the one side transfems get lots of attention and vitriol, and the erasure of transmascs makes it harder for some transmascs to understand they can be trans. But on top of that, the form of transfems we see are never real representation, 99% of the time it's a transmisogynistic ideal of trans women, it's the weirdo white boy spreading lipstick all over their face just before they smash the mirror in a fit of "dysphoria" kind of shit. Though transfems have extreme visibility, our actual selves are not visible, we are ultra violet rapist horn dogs or we're the super ignorant, super emotional crybaby.
And, a side tangent, cuz you sorta did a thing the transandrodorks do that is frustrating. It's not a measurement of what's "worse." That's not how oppression works, that's not what we are saying, we are talking about the forms of oppression.
Men are not oppressed for being men. They can be oppressed for a variety of things, racism, ableism, interphobia (is this the right term I forget), homophobia, etc etc. Masculinity is rewarded, masculinity is the desire, patriarchy exists so men get to be above women. Things like "misandry" do not exist, they are inventions of violently misogynistic men, your MRAs, your incels, your conservatives (this includes liberals btw).
The person who coined "transandrophobia" used to talk about wanting to correctively rape lesbians. I'm not gonna go at someone's kinks, but the blog was not presented as a kink blog, I literally went there myself and read the posts when this first popped off and they come off as true lesbophobia in the context of their blog and coupled with the misandry posting, this person literally looks like MRAs and incels. The defense the community uses is "it's a kink are you kink shaming?? It was on a private locked blog!" Which, the latter, no it wasn't, I literally went there and looked, and the former. Idk I think if you're saying you want correctively rape lesbians while also talking about misandry and counting "transandrophobia," you look misogynistic and homophobic.
The main writers people follow for transandrophobia related content are straight up liars, who make shit up, and one specific non horse entity consistently cites himself as his own "source" and when he doesn't, he cites terf blogs that are connected to kiwifarms and sites of the sort. They will take bits talked about in feminism and present it as a thing they discovered and present it as transandrophobia. Ie. "Men can't show any femininity and can't cry and that's misandry" despite things like this are discussed at length in feminist texts, men can't do these things cuz that makes them more "woman" in the societal lens. Yeah it's fucked, but it's misogyny, not misandry.
I am, consistently, misgendered by the transandrodorks, and so is every other trans woman that disagrees with them. And it's definitely intentional.
Then there are token trans women who don't know much of anything about feminism or transphobia and will straight up harass you for saying women are oppressed. They often weaponize transmisogyny against other transfems, they misgender, suicide bait, or in velvetvexations case, will stalk your blog for two days even though you ignore her and when she's sees you're on a date with your wife, she goes to your wife's blog and starts messaging her instead. Legit, this woman is one of the worst people on this website, the only reason she's not seen as communismkills 2 is cuz men like her.
On top of this, terfs consistently support "transandrophobia" as a concept and constantly say that transandrophobia is compatible with terf ideology. The transandrodork community is ripe with terfs and crypto terfs. Like that one who said he hoped a friend and I get raped, cuz saying "men arent oppressed" warrants wishing rape on people. Or the trans guy that outright said "trans women are male" and tripled down harder saying "trans women don't experience misogyny and oppress transmascs cuz they're really men," claims that were so wild that even velvetvexations couldn't agree with them lol.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: not every person that believes in transandrophobia is a bigot or a bad person. A lot are just young transmascs who are under read about oppression and history, and this terf/transphobe community swoops in and pretends to be representing them and sucks them in. For every disparaging transmisogynist piece, there's two more that are talking about the problems of transmascs. So when you tell these guys "that's a hate group" they don't remember the post calling trans women men, they remember stuff about T being super illegal. So they think we are attacking them for having a problem, not the actual bigotry on display.
Honestly, if these people would just stop misgendering trans women, they might have more trans women who'd be nice to em. But that's the consistent trend.
Transandrophobia is a violent, transmisogynistic ideology that is propped up by terf ideology. That's why they are compared to MRAs and incels.
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NARUTO OMEGAVERSE ☆
୨୧ alpha!naruto x omega!reader (f)
— how does he act around his omega s/o ?
MY MASTERLIST: ☆
this is my first time writing for anything other than tokyo rev. I've just entered another naruto brainrot and was baffled by the lack of naruto omegaverse content on tumblr, so I decided to diversify my blog and write for naruto too!
I'll post a headcanon about being team 7's omega later in the evening!
ALPHA!NARUTO
naruto truly is an energetic person, the reason why he approached you in the first place is because of your empathy for others.
you know him since childhood, while his personality and his curse might have driven others away, you never treated him differently.
you were kind and thoughtful, but you still stood your ground and never hesitated to speak up for others.
naruto was always by your side. he was a noisy kid and whenever you voiced something, he often felt the urge to say it even louder to make sure people heard you or to back you up. you did feel a bit embarrassed sometimes, but his clumsy actions were endearing in their own way.
you noticed how he always seemed to protect you without never overstepping your boundaries. he wanted you to know he would always defend you, but never overwhelm you with his presence.
he would always challenge the other kids whenever he saw them as threats, possibly taking your eyes away from him.
always your #1 defender, never letting any other kids treat you badly, especially since you hung out with him. he wasn't afraid to get mad and pick a fight if he considered that your pride or integrity was involved.
growing up, he still didn't stop following you like your shadow.. the only difference was the way he carried himself, he seemed so much more reliable you found yourself falling for him.
COURTING
his actions towards you were no longer clumsy attempts to impress you, instead, he started an enthusiastic pursuit, his determination was impressive and you knew he meant every words he ever said to you.
as mindless and forgetful as he might look, naruto is one to spoil you with thoughtful gestures.
during the courting process, he would gift you handwritten notes, try his best to carve a wooden necklace with your initials behind it.
his gifts are surprisingly delicate and he's paying extremely attention to your interests.
naruto is always so supportive of you, cheering you on, congratulating you for any reasons and ready to help you for anything as well.
he's so reassuring, affirming that everything will be fine whenever you're doubting.
if you're in trouble for example, he'll simply tell you to go rest. he'll take care of the rest, you don't have to worry about anything! he'll throw you a big smile and come back with his same happy face, and your problems are all gone in a minute!
even as a teenager, naruto still is pretty jealous, not in a possessive way, but he will get upset when other alphas are looking your way. once again, he will not hesitate to challenge anyone if it means keeping you for himself. yes, he will be the main reason why you don't have any alphas asking you out anymore.
naruto wants to seduce you by showing you how strong and reliable he is, always bragging about his strength and how his training will turn him into one of the best shinobi to ever exist.
he tells you about his ability to protect you, and that he'll never stop working out nor neglect his training. you can rest assured that you'll always be safe by his side!
he is protective of you, that's a fact, although it's not as intense as some other alphas. he trusts you and values your independence, he doesn't want to become a burden or a nuisance to your happiness.
that's why he learnt to take it easy and let you live a normal life most omegas don't even have access to.
but don't worry, naruto isn't scared to step in, in order to shield you from whatever he considers compromising to your safety. he wants you to be 100% comfortable, doing everything in his power to keep you away from harm.
you're his priority and he will offer you his unwavering support in times of distress and doubt.
even during the courting process, you both are comfortable enough to let him spread his scent around you. he'll shower you with his pheromones to calm you down and talk to you in a reassuring manner, so foreign to the naruto people usually have in mind.
RELATIONSHIP
once you get together, he's attached to you, more than before if that was even possible.
he's dragging you to surprise dates, gifting you everything that reminded him of you and kissing your forehead every chance he gets.
his nose is always buried in your neck : he's whipped for you and your sweet scent, and he's shameless about it too.
he takes deep breaths with his face pressed against your scent gland and doesn't stop until you push him away. once you look at him, he has the most satisfied grin ever and profusely kisses your whole face with love struck eyes.
he's crazy about pda and isn't embarrassed at all to initiate it, even in public. you're his omega, why would he restrain himself from showing you his love?
he is so proud to be your partner, everyone knows about it the second you start dating.
you're the prettiest omega he ever laid his eyes on and naruto knows how lucky he is that you have chosen him out of everyone.
that's why he's so desperate to show you that he's the right one for you, that he's trustworthy and that you can lean on him.
oh yes please, he's so devoted to you he'll do anything! especially during your most vulnerable moments, when he thinks he's blessed that you chose to trust him near you when you're in this state.
ask him to bring you this type of snacks and he's running outside to get it! ask him to give you more blankets or soft items for your nest and he'll go straight to your favourite shop to buy them.
he's delighted the first time you ask him to scent one of your clothe. sure, he had gifted you a couple of his shirts when you weren't dating, when he was still courting you, but it was always coming from him, and he didn't really know whether you accepted them or just politely threw them away without him knowing.
to have his beautiful omega, directly ask him to be scented by him is a dream come true and you swear he has heart eyes when he eagerly starts scenting all of your wardrobe.
being in your nest, cuddling with you is quality time he'll never neglect or refuse. he loves it so much! everything smells like the both of you, an intoxicating mix of your flowery scent and his own, which makes him soo dizzy.
he's even happier when you start cooking for him, always packing his lunch before a mission or any normal training.
food is one of the things he loves the most, and to have it prepared by his precious omega is such a blessing. you're the best cook and your food is so delicious he can't get enough!
but you're not the only one who can make him giddy, naruto has his ways when he wants to make you flustered.
he actually doesn't do it on purpose, but when he suddenly acts all serious and talks to you with his reassuring and soft voice, looking at you like you're the most beautiful and delicate thing he's ever seen, you can't help the blush from making its way to your cheeks, nor the rapid heartbeats his manly scent sparks.
he smells it in your scent, it's subtle but he's able to decipher such change in you. when you get shy or a bit more submissive than usual, you scent also gets sweeter and softer. it drives him crazy and he has to dig his nose closer.
he teases you a bit about it, but he doesn't want to ruin the romantic mood so he tones it down for now.
his omega needs his love and attention, and he'll give it to her!
#cannelle★#omegaverse naruto#naruto fluff#naruto omegaverse#a/b/o naruto#alpha!naruto#omegaverse anine#omega!reader#naruto uzumaki#alpha naruto#hybrid naruto#naruto headcanons#headcanons naruto#omegaverse headcanons naruto#omegaverse naruto headcanons#natuto imagine#naruto x reader#naruto x you#abo naruto#omegaverse naruto uzumaki#alpha!naruto x omega!reader#werewolf au naruto#naruto werewolf au#alpha omega naruto#omegaverse tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers a/b/o#naruto uzumaki x reader#naruto brainrot
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BTW I tell y'all I have severe ADHD once every ten seconds because i want you to know I'm a low performer. I procrastinate on important matters for months and sometimes, most times really, it costs me opportunities and relationships and peace of mind because I'll know I'm supposed to do X but have no willpower whatever to do X. I want you ladies to know that's sometimes I hyperfixate on things with no importance whatsoever and that takes away my energy from things that are important. Hell, just last week I spent 8 hours on my laptop reading on bears and watching beat videos when I had work to do. That I have time blindness and sometimes am extremely late or extremely early or just get days mixed up and do Thursday things on Wednesday because I thought it's Thursday or forget it's Friday and not do Friday things and it costs me, dearly. Expensively. That I am inconsistent as they come and even a machine gun to my head can't get me to do something that my brain rejects. That sometimes I cry for hours because I feel pathetic and sad and too small with dreams too big. That somedays I wake up with the energy of a thousand Suns and start 58868 projects, create a brand new goals list for things I'll do in my life and go strong for three days then just- dump it after the energy falls. Then hate the hell out of myself because what the hell. That everytime I want to pick a new hobby or buy something or make a decision I hesitate because , do I really want this or is it dopamine and I'll dump it after 6 working days, because I have too many WIPs that Im yet to complete but can't bring myself to. That I need 168979 watches with alarms and a digital to do list and a manual to do list and sometimes I'll still get nothing done. That I try, so hard, and sometimes, just can't. And everyone that's supposed to help has the same recycled tips that just will not work for me. That I had medication for a while that worked but my body got used to it and overpowered it, so now even the option for medication is out of the picture - so I have to live like this for the rest of my life. That sometimes I run purely on ego because my self esteem is on the floor. That everytime I get a new opportunity I panic a little because what if I give up midpoint and ruin my reputation?? What if? That I self isolate because when I have too much energy I can't sit still and I interrupt everyone and need to run or I'll combust. That I self isolate because I have low social awareness and could easily say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Because I'm not normal and that feels shameful sometimes. That even CBT hasn't been able to set me straight, but I worked so hard to make money for therapy and medication and it's not working so I've also lost my will to work because what is it even for?????
I could Grammarly and AI my posts and have them professional looking but I want the ADHD girls with a brain faster than their hands to know it's okay to leave some words out because your brain is 6 words ahead of your hand and you're trying to keep up. I want the dyslexia girlies to know you can still write even when you're not sure if that thing makes sense, the people that mind do not matter and the people that matter do not mind. Because I want the 'english is not my first language' girls like me that struggle with adverbs and nouns and tenses and spelling to know hey it's okay, just write. You want to write, write. Do it for you. Forget the rest. I could polish all my posts, I do it for my work and official documents but if I do what will the girlies that need to know they're not stupid, English is just a language and spellings don't matter that much and you can communicate outside perfection see to reinforce their desire?? What will the autistics that want to try blogging but feel scared because they can't arrange their thoughts in a comprehensive manner and get lost in side stories sometimes look at and go oh my god- we exist and it's okay because we can still influence.
I tell you ladies every three seconds that I am a dark skinned black 5'4 slim immigrant in a white supremacist country because I want the girls that fit neither the beauty standards or the stereotypical standards to know they can chase their dreams and it doesn't matter. So the girlies of color that watch news and movies and social media and see people that look like them being murdered and disrespected and read the comments to know yeah, you can still do it, get on that plane. If I don't what will the girls that know for a fact that was unfair treatment look at when they need to know they can still rise above and make it??? If I dont tell you that actually I'm not where I am because I'm the hardest working in the room- I'm actually hella lazy- I'm where I am because I manipulate cheat claw gaslight blackmail my way how will the girls that work hard and still not achieve know that it's not because them it's because the world is unfair and you win by being unfair. I could play good girl , I could, I could tell you just work hard and go for it but then what will the girls that did all that and still failed look at to make sense of the world around them? Justify how things got here when they did everything they were supposed to? I say be a bitch so the girls that are demonized for not taking it lying down can be bitchier. I say learn the patriarchy and fit the beauty standards as much as you can and cosplay what's likeable not to conform but to cosplay and manipulate so that the girls that know it's wrong realize that you should just play them the way they play you - that's real feminism. That's real equality, learning the game to learn how to cheat and win because you were born to lose, the rules aren't made with you in mind so why would you stick to them, and fighting them is futile, you'll lose. I say being feared >> than being loved for the girls that got manipulated used trashed in the name of love. I tell you people are animals that survive by low balling each other so you can make a little sense of your trauma and forgive yourself for what you had to become to survive.
This blog is for the outsiders, actually. The girls that do not see content made that make sense for them, the girls that are born into a world that has no space for them and couldn't fit in if they tried because it's impossible. I'm here as proof you can make it. Autistic dyslexic ADHD black female , ticking all the wrong boxes and still making it. That's why I'm here, to show you how. To show you, you can. It's okay, you're okay. In fact, you're- better.
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hey Meg, I know your busy, but I'm American and could really use a virtual hug right now
Heya,
I tend to separate my blog and politics. Not because I am apolitical (my political activity is mainly in my private life away from social media - you can judge that if you like, but at the end of the day it doesn't make me more or less political) but because I want to create a space people could escape to from the cruelties of reality. But I will say:
I am so sorry to everyone who worked against fascism, racism, misogyny, homo- and transphobia taking the win and to everyone who hoped for better. I am so sorry to everyone who fears for their rights, their safety and existence. I am so sorry to everyone fighting for their life right now - inside the US and outside the US in too many horrible wars outside of it. I am sorry to everyone who fears for their loved ones. It shouldn't be this way. Humans have failed and keep failing their own citizens, their neighbors, those screaming for help, other humans.
My sorry doesn't do anything, I know that. So I want to ask something too. This is not addressed to a specific group of people but more general.
Focus on yourself first and foremost. Those dear to you. Be kind. Keep advocating, keep fighting, keep living, keep hoping but stay safe. Keep your eyes on Ukraine - don't forget them. Keep your eyes on Palestine - don't forget them. This cannot be less even become the status quo.
🫂
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hii your posts are v helpful & I’ve recently started my manifestation journey. im over my old sp and I wanna manifest a bf out of thin air, do you have any tips?
thank you so much for enjoying my blog!! i appreciate it so much! and yes i have tips, it is SO easy to manifest somebody “out of thin air”. First off i wanna say that your technically NOT manifesting out of thin air, you are selecting somebody that already exists and bringing them towards you in love. Thats why i recommend making an IN DEPTH list of traits and features you want your person to have (dont settle for a half assed manifestation) you HAVE to persist because it can be easy to feel hopeless, you just have to understand that in the spiritual there is SO MUCH MOVEMENT and your person is being pushed towards you. i recommend listening to “high frequency guru” on yt, she makes amazing affirmation tapes to keep you on the right track!! (you dont need techniques to manifest, keep that in mind) i also recommend robotic affirmations, theyre great!! i hope i helped and feel free to send another ask if necessary, i am more then happy to help!! happy manifesting babes ❤️🍓. (remember that when you manifest your person, its going to feel SUPER natural to the point you might even forget they are a product of ur manifestation 😭)
#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#manifesting community#manifesting sp#master manifestor#manifesation#manifesting#manifestation#anti shifters dni#shifting script#shifting motivation#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting blog#reality shifting#vaunts & affirmations#affirm and persist#robotic affirming#affirmdaily#affirming#affirmations#neville goddard#edward art#sammy ingram
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who’d u reckon would own a bunny hybrid? 👀
im not gonna sugarcoat it anon, but bunny hybrids are the common hybrid to get among perverted degenerates, and underneath all the complicated layers these yanderes have is just some horny perv who think they're doing a good thing by taking them in. We all know the truth, though.
im gonna ramble under the cut, but as always, be sure to check out @cinnamonest as their hybrid writings inspired this blog into existence
warning: nsfw. bottom reader. gorou forces himself on reader, but i try to avoid being specific. tighnari thinks about it but drugs you instead. overall horny canine boys who can't decide whether to eat or fuck bunny hybrid 😔
in the future, all works with nsfw will be tagged with #.luspicy
Gorou:
God, just thinking about a bunny hybrid,, i know cinnamonest wrote about gorou having a cat hybrid, but like, I can't stop remembering Beastars and (I stopped watching it but I'll get back into it again) how fitting a floppy eared little bunny would be for him. Gorou. A war general in an environment where everything is peaceful, and there isn't much to do to let out all that excess energy.
I like to think that Gorou would meet his bunny darling while out on patrol. Of course, Watatsumi Island is peaceful now, but there's still some bandits and the like lurking about. When he sees them shivering in a cage, knees tucked to their chest and crying, it does something to him that he doesn't understand himself. You just look so...delicious.
You, seeing this dog towering over you with this crazed look in his eyes, makes you thankful that there's a cage separating the two of you. Even when he "kindly" asks if you know where the key is, you adamantly shake your head no. It's obvious he wants to eat you! He's even drooling! Staying in the cage is definitely safer than trusting this deranged predator looking as if he's finally found the prey of his dreams.
Gorou is strong anyway. He doesn't need something like a key to free you. It only helps in scaring you more when he rips the cage open with a smile on his face. Having you clinging onto the bars was a bit of a problem, though. Gorou just wants to help you out! Usually, bunny hybrids are grateful creatures from what he's heard, but it seems like you're the opposite of that. And stubborn to boot. Don't worry. He offers coming with him the easy way or the hard way.
The easy way is a much better option, as the other would be leaving you out here alone, cage open, for anyone to just kidnap. Of course, he'd warn the soldiers to keep an eye out for you. "They got injured because of my carelessness, so I want to make it up to them!" People would think a bandit or a monster got to you while he was distracted. There's no way someone as nice and dependable as Gorou would harm such an innocent creature like you!
Unfortunately, people forget that Gorou is a dog hybrid. And dogs are technically domesticated wolves no matter how you see them. If another hybrid like Sucrose (whatever animal she may be) were to witness this, she'd immediately find you herself and bring you back to the safety of her hometown. Well, it probably wouldn't be safe, but it's better than the possibility of being eaten, right? Too bad Albedo only visited Inazuma with Klee, and the two of them stayed on Narukami Island.
Thinking on it more, though, he feels like a run will do him some good. "You could always head back to where you came from. There's boats on the lower part of the island, I could take you there!" No thanks. Even with your limited vocabulary, your instincts were screaming at you to get away. To Gorou, it was a relief that you took the bait. Watching your little cotton tail bob behind you as you tried to escape was adorable. You probably thought you could get away from him and go back to your homeland, but what are the chances you even knew how to use a boat?
It didn't take long for him to find you, and even less time to pin you onto the sand below. You could cry out all you want, but nobody would be able to help you. "Don't cry... I'll make sure it won't hurt too badly~" Confused and scared, the thought of another hybrid, a predator to your kind, would even attempt to mate with you was worse than being eaten by one. And escaping was impossible. He was just so big and you so little! That doesn't stop Gorou. And despite what he promised, it hurt a lot because your body wasn't built to handle someone of his nature.
He did clean you up as best as he could, but seeing his love escape you so easily almost made him rearing to go again if you hadn't passed out from exhaustion. Poor thing, you must be so tired after allowing him to pour out all of his love into you. Don't worry, he doesn't mind carrying you to his home. Ah, but he should probably lock you up so you won't escape...
Maybe he'll tire you out with a couple more rounds in the morning, too. Just to be safe.
Tighnari:
I think Tighnari wouldn't necessarily succumb to his instincts, but he's tempted to. How could he not? Seeing such a cute bunny make themselves at home in his territory, eating the vegetables and herbs that he grew,
It's like you thought that because he was chummy with the humans, he wouldn't possibly think of harming you.
And that's exactly what you thought. That fennec fox hybrid seems to eat plants just like you, so he must've been dropped as a child or raised by herbivores. If it were the latter, then that's great! Herbivores usually don't mind sharing food, so you made a nice little burrow right next to Tighnari's field. It was far away from the other humans, and there was a water source nearby, too, so it was absolutely perfect! Any hybrid would kill to be in your place. Having such a convenient food supply and water next to your den.
However, Tighnari was considering hunting you down because you were prey in his territory. Ah, he shouldn't succumb to his instincts. He should be the bigger person and try to scare you off. He grows dangerous things, too, and he would not like you eating (ruining) his research.
But the cute floppy ears... how would it feel between his teeth? How soft is your little tail? How delicious would you taste if he took a bite out of you? Just a little nibble. It won't hurt. Probably.
You, on the other hand, are starting to feel a bit nervous about your housing arrangement. Your neighbor seems to be staring at you from afar and breathing heavily. Sometimes, he looks at you with a dazed expression, and you can see the saliva creep from his mouth. It's impossible, you think. You've seen him eat mushrooms! On several occasions! It gets creepy when he looks in your den while you're out getting water. You hide from him, but he doesn't make an effort to even chase you. He smells you nearby, but he can smell something even sweeter in your home.
He knows you're going into heat soon.
It doesn't matter what you have between the legs, to Tighnari, you're something meant to be eaten. You're at the bottom of the food chain with the other small and weak animals. If he wanted to mate with you, you'd be taking his knot. Would you give birth to pups or kits? Would some be a mixture? Or maybe there's a possibility of a fennec being an herbivore or a bunny being a carnivore? The researcher part of him wants to know so bad...
But it depends if you could give birth at all. It'd be a shame if you didn't, but if you take his knot nicely, he may reconsider eating you.
Tighnari tries his best to control himself, but when he sees you obliviously eating an aphrodisiac flower, the string in him snaps. He'll chomp down on those floppy ears of yours before he starts his little "private research."
#genshin au#genshin x gn reader#genshin x reader#hybrid au#.lurots#genshin hcs#genshin impact x reader#hybrid#.lu-answers#anon ask#tighnari x reader#gorou x reader#bunny hybrid#tighnari x gn reader#gorou x gn reader#.luspicy
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Ahhh I forgot this blog was meant for art also, but I never post any art years old. Yeah, I get ready for that plus I might think about changing my profile picture to something else I like
EHHHH KILLL MEEEE
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Burial Blade and Blade of Mercy are made out of meteorite, but WHY? Inspiration and context behind them (+ the source of snake infestation)
This one is a reply on ask from @bobbyzombiegg that I decided to put here because I really keep forgetting to use THIS blog for lore and not my personal/shitposts one...
I know, and this is such a good observation! I am glad that you've noticed what else connects Burial Blade and Blade of Mercy! Even better - whereas Burial Blade severs the ties of a person with the Dream, Blade of Mercy, in a way, helps to create it!
The interesting thing about these blades is that, of course, they must have been created before the conception of the Hunter's Dream! It makes it oddly coincidental that both weapons are useful for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, doesn't it? Blade of Mercy is at least believed to contribute to this as of now; the more we hunt the more messengers get added in the Hunter's Dream, so, perhaps, Blade of Mercy is not necessary! My personal interpretation of this is as Paleblood Hunter, our character has the privilege otherwise special for these weapons! Regardless of which weapon they use, they can send those they killed to be messengers (or add them in the cycle of the hunt, like how Henryk or Yamamura will become summonable after we kill them)!
Still, it starts to look like too much was planned ahead? Blade of Mercy said to be made in an old workshop would imply Old Hunters, likely created by Gehrman himself, from the same material as his own weapon! But I think the answer here is that Messengers, something akin to Hunter's Dream and similar weapons existed since Pthumerian times!
Starting with the weapons observation here! Pthumerian Descendant, interestingly, displays the similar style of transforming their blade into two same as how Blade of Mercy does it! Meanwhile, Gehrman's blade is fashioned similarly to Mergo's Wet Nurse's blades! In isolation, I would not think this means anything.. but crows, according to Hunters of Hunters lore, ARE connected with taking the souls and passing them into Dream realm, which is also Nightmare realm!
(Link to my other post explaining why Vilebloods descend from Pthumerians ( x ) in case someone who doesn't know already finds this post)
Wet Nurse herself is very bird-like (crow-like, specifically), and very coincidentally, Baneful Chanters pray to those who "have no blood" as those who'd have enough power to curse the hunters (which is to ensure they go in the Nightmare realm). Wet Nurse not only coincidentally fuels at least one section of Nightmare by nurturing Mergo, the center of it, but also, Nightmare realm has Winter Lanterns whose heads are made of Messengers!
So we have: Wet Nurse already being quite Pthumerian with her accessories and fighting style, Pthumerians and their descendants (down to Cainhurst!) honoring symbolism of crows, Yharnam (a city named after Queen Yharnam, after all) having depiction of BIRD-like Messenger in its oldest part, superstition about crows taking souls of the murdered in Hunter's Dream, people praying to "bloodless ones" to take the souls into Nightmare instead + evidence of it happening with Winter Lanterns.. In my opinion it is fair to assume that the weapons Gehrman created had a pre-existing inspiration and their similarity to pre-existing Pthumerian weapons is not coincidental!
Alright, first - I want a Bloodborne prequel where I could make a Pthumerian Paleblood Hunter. Second, as you can see, concept of the Messengers, the "Hunter" symbol/rune (depiction of the hanged man of course), and even the MOONLIGHT Sword were a thing since Pthumerian times! (It is safe to assume Ludwig found this sword somewhere in the Dungeons, as obtaining Radiant Sword Hunter badge is what lets you buy Tomb Prospector set!)
^ The note already mentioning Laurence associating with Moon Presence, THE Great One of the Hunt and the Dream, is found in Byrgenwerth already! Basically? Without maybe predicting that he would be trapped in the Hunter's Dream one day, Gehrman already knew what he was doing with the weapons.
Conclusion: there was the clear idea in mind! Blade of Mercy, intended to kill people from the start, immortalises the hunters as the HUNTERS and brings them in "Heaven" of Moon Presence, before they turned into beasts, whereas Burial Blade, initially intended for hunting everyone that was no longer human (for example, poor Fish People), ensures they, on the contrary, never go to "Heaven". What later serves to sever a Hunter from the Hunter's Dream initially intended to sever non-humans from it, in a way sentensing them to "Hell". :) Gehrman is a fun person.
+ Also some bonus observations regarding the topic of Yharnamites still continuing Pthumerian traditions, likely brought back because of Byrgenwerth, and then Healing Church, diving into dungeons:
(Context for those that didn't play Bloodborne because Sony hates you and you in particular: both this trap in the dungeons and this bath in Yahar'gul warp you in another area, connected by the circle of candles)
Forbidden Woods, surrounding Byrgenwerth, are full of formations that resemble the Tonsil Stone very much! However, when you examine the woods, you will see that sometimes there are body parts near these "heads"! This could be another case of petrification upon strong arcane impact, similarly to petrified body of Rom near Ebrietas, to petrified bodies of other Kin in Upper Cathedrals covered by fabric, bodies of victims in Yahar'gul, all that!
Were they people living in the woods that started to turn into Kin (like Garden of Eyes that are also found in Byrgenwerth) but didn't live until petrification, or were they baby Great Ones born only to instantly die? I am not sure. Both can work.
But, snakes are an interesting clue here. Besides Forbidden Woods, they are only also found in Hintertombs - a dumping ground for corpses of Pthumeru Ihyll that became venomous! Forgotten Madman, who is a former Choir member as he uses A Call Beyond, is found in these dungeons + getting Cosmic Watcher Badge is what lets you buy Poisonous Knife. Doesn't it look strange for Choir members to pick so much interest in this? Snake infestation might be a strange result of burying cosmic Kin in the ground, a corruption of what would normally be a process of multiple parasites/phantasms settling in a corpse of a cosmic being, OR someone affiliated with one! We do have precedents:
Cosmic creatures, "downgraded" and "filthied", becoming something eartly instead, such as snakes! One of them was able to raise human children (Madaras twins), so sure they are unusual!
So, what I am trying to say is, it is possible that Tonsil Stone is a result of burial of a dead (and rapidly petrifying) cosmic Kin, one that was yet not rotted like what we see in Forbidden Woods! Maybe even more directly so, it is a petrified skull of a cosmic Kin, most likely of Amygdala's kind, and a "meteorite" in the sense of them coming from space! So, creating weapons both of which are connected with burial ritual from the buried Kin is appropriate! This or similar technology maybe also was discovered by Pthumerians long ago, so examining Hintertombs was a great help with figuring what material to use for Burial Blade and Blade of Mercy!
^ These disturbing dead cosmic Kin fetuses are found in Byrgenwerth in two forms: one depicts a petrified corpse, something we already knows happens with Kin, such as Rom and eldrich creatures in Upper Cathedral. Another is dead, rotting, showing horns, and has multiple tiny skulls on its head! The latter one gets my point about corpses of Kin, or maybe anyone touched by Kin, sprouting smaller life forms from within. People infected by snake virus sprout several snakes from their heads, rather than turning into a snake or something!
It is entirely possible that Byrgenwerth used to bury creatures like this in the grounds around the college, and that those gigantic graves in Forbidden Woods were for much larger Great Ones: "Hunt the Great Ones. Hunt the Great Ones." note is found in Byrgenwerth as well! They might have been able to resist the full rotting that results into snakes due to their size and development, hence their graves still show sluggish phantasms. Burying other ones, on the other hand, was a big mistake. Or, should I say.... a GRAVE mista- *gets sniped*
_________________________________
These are my thoughts on the topic! You kinda got two theories at the price of one here, but snake infestation was somewhat relevant in the context of burial and my idea of what IS this "meteorite"! Thank you so much for prompting me to tie this theory together at last!!
#bloodborne#bloodborne theory#gehrman the first hunter#pthumerians#long post#not art#text post#bloodborne reference#screenshots#damn two years later I've found a proper answer on snake infestation situation...#too bad that an ex mutual will never see it now they sent me an ask about it and back then my answer was unsatisfying#why I figure this obvious shit so late..... sigh
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"Ever since she was little riley would always talk about these...friends in her head. We didnt know what they were of course. She even draw them on many diffrent occasions. As she got older she rarely ever brought it up untill recently how ever...she brought it up to bree and grace but they were just as confused as we are heh...why do you ask?"
Joy said to her orange companion who had a tense look of her face
"i-its just" she started "for some reason i keep worrying-no riley keeps worrying about this...i just dont understand why"
She fiddled with her sleeves before speaking up again
"you said she draw them right?"
"want me to show you?"
anxiety nodded as joy summoned the memory. Riley was no older then 4 at the time and she was coloring with her tonge sticking out like always. anxiety would have thought it was cute if the drawings wereint so...familiar? They looked familiar. Like shes seen these before...
She looked back at joy who had a smile of her face. She looked back then back at joy. Then again and again and again and again and-
"wait what!?"
"huh? anxiety whats the matter?"
"t-those drawings...there of you guys!"
Joy looked at anxiety puzzled. She looked back. That couldint be them...right
"whaat? I dout that. Its a coincidence at best"
"but joy-"
"besides Riley doseint know we exist"
"but joy!- ack!?"
anxietys worrying was cut short by a pillow to the head by ennui
"can you shut up im trying to sleep"
"oh! Ennui just the emotion i needed! Help me convince here!"
she said running and pushing ennui to the control pannel. She scoffed in return looking up at the memory playing
"and what exactly am i looking at anxiety."
"those drawings! They look familiar right?"
"...hm"
*she pulled out her phone takeing a photo of joy.*
"hmmm...looks similar to joy"
"exactly!!" anxiety yelled before looking ar joy
"see what i mean?"
"...i mean i guess it looks kinda like me" joy started "but its not possible Riley doseint know what we look like let alone if we even exist!"
"can you two just sleep on it or something. Ugh C'est trop tard for this nonsense"
anxiety sighed as she nodded
"exactly wee-wees right!"
"dont call me that"
"you just need to sleep on it. Youll forget about it by morning!"
It wasint that simple bit anxiety couldint argue. Joy then rushed the newer ones to bed as she went back to dream duty
"theres no way that real...right?"
But it got worse from then on.
(OK END NOTES! this is for an au i made a bit ago that i want to explore more. Ill write more soon but for now this is all i got. I may turn this into an ask blog or series or something like that but for now this is all you get. I hope you enjoyed! Feel fres to ask questions :>)
#inside out ennui#joy inside out#insideout#inside out#inside out 2#anxiety inside out#inside out anxiety#ennui inside out#inside out 2 ennui#inside out joy#inside out fandom#Inside out fanfiction#inside out au
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