#i keep bursting into tears randomly someone help

[beepbeepdespair]

GOD i wish i had the power and/or contacts to get people performance roles. there's a busker out today and she is one of the best fucking singers i have ever heard i'm not joking. she did i will always love you and i cried in a shop bc it was so beautiful. someone needs to put her in their musical right now

[ameliathornromance]

“It’ll be fine.” You reassured him, holding your Orc Boyfriends hand. You gave it a comforting squeeze. “She doesn’t bite.”

“But she’s a little girl.” Your Orc answered. He’d stopped just before your front door. “Look at me,” your Orc Boyfriend let go of your hand and gestured to his figure. Tall, green and muscular, he pointed at the door. “Your child is going to go running for the hills once she sees me.”

"I've already told her you're an Orc." You tell him.

"Telling someone about an Orc and seeing an Orc are two different things, hun."

At that, you roll your eyes.

Your ex, had gone out to go and chop firewood and never returned. Since you lived very far away from the nearest village, it was rare you heard news. After your ex hadn’t returned the next morning, you went into the village, crying, pleading and begging for people to help look for him.

But unfortunately, no one had seen him. And two days turned into a week… which turned into three weeks… and then a month. Around the two month mark, you got a letter from your ex, saying that he had been having an affair with the milk maid and they had eloped.

Your daughter, who was only a toddler at the time, did not understand what it meant when you cried so much you gagged or when you randomly burst into tears when you saw newly weds passing by in a heavily decorated carriage.

The only thing that held you together, was your child. While you still wondered what you did wrong and conjured up daydreams of keeping your husband here, your daughter made those vanish in an instant. Just hearing even a small giggle, was more than enough to drown out those thoughts… for a little while at least.

Around your daughters sixth birthday, you had met your Orc. You had been in town, looking for cake ingredients when the Orc offered to help you carry your many bags. From that point onwards, the two of you were always in contact… And it became romantic.

Once you told him you had a daughter and told him of the betrayal from your ex, your Orc snorted. “What a pathetic man. You and your daughter are better off without him.” He had let a grin cross his face, “and now you have me. And I won’t leave you.”

When he told you that, you had stared at him, hardly daring to believe it. The internal doubt was blown away by his words, you had to hide your face from him as you wiped your nose and dried your eyes.

“Oh, hun I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he comforted, “c’mere.” You had spent the rest of your date in his arms.

Hearing his reassurance only solidified your resolution: Your daughter would have to meet your Orc Boyfriend.

But your Orc – who was usually so boastful and confident – was now reduced down to a bundle of nerves. It was sweet, how he braided and re-braided his hair over and over again, asking: “does this look alright?”

And now, as your Orc looked down at you, with your pleading eyes and sighed. He knew how important this was to you, your daughter was worth more than gold. “You’re sure she’s not going to be afraid of me?”

You gave a reassuring smile, “one hundred percent.”

Sucking in a deep breath, and exhaling, your Orc Boyfriend nodded. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

The two of you marched forward. As the two of you got closer, you heard a loud giggle come from inside the house.

Your smile only grew wider as you opened the front door and out running, came a flurry of (H/C) locks that headed straight for your Orc.

Your daughter skidded to a halt in front of your Orc and pointed, looking between you and your boyfriend. “Mama, you were right!” She grinned widely. “He’s is super tall!”

“Honey,” You kneeled down to her height, “c’mon, be polite.”

“Oh, right.” Your little girl covered her large grin and stepped back a few paces. She stuck her hand out to your Orc, “I’m (D/N), it’s nice to meet you.”

Your Orc looked between you and the tiny child, who still held her tiny hand out to him, waiting for him to shake it. After your encouraging smile, your Orc uncertainly took her hand in his own and shook it. “Um, it’s nice to meet you too. I’m (O/B).”

“Come inside! I wanna show you the drawing I did of the birds earlier!” Not letting your Orcs hand go, your daughter proceeded to drag him inside the house.

As you watched them pass the threshold, your Orc couldn’t help a smile of relief wash over his face.

“I told you you’d be fine.” You whispered to him as your daughter thundered up the stairs to go and get her drawings.

“Why are you telling me that? I wasn’t nervous at all.” your Orc bluffed. He laid back into your sofa, his old confident smile returning.

The day went smoothly after that, your daughter held your boyfriends undivided attention for hours as she explained the fictional drama between her stuffed animals, Mr Blake, the Shopkeep and Mother Goose.

“No!” Your Orc’s jaw dropped when your daughter announced that the Shopkeep had been giving Mother Goose chicken instead of ham like she asked.

By the end of the day, your daughter was practically falling asleep in your boyfriends arms, eyes flitting closed and snapping open whenever the two of you spoke.

Once you’d put her to bed, you found your Orc sitting on the sofa, grinning. You return his smile, confused. “What?”

“You get up everyday and handle that kid.” He said, not taking his eyes off you. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes, crashing next to him on the sofa, “she’s a handful, but I love her.” you yawned. “It is a lot to do on my own, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“She’s got me now too.” Your Orc Boyfriend snuggled closer to you. Heart swelling, you threw your arm across his torso and you let your eyes slide closed. And the two of you fell asleep, basking in the domestic bliss.

Patreon

[cyb-by-lang]

Cascade (part 5)

Oops.

(Meanwhile, Kei chafes under Quirk laws again.)

So, there were more Nōmu where the first guy came from.

At least three more. All of whom were totally randomly tearing up Hosu while Kei’s classmate had taken a hard right four blocks ago and run off.

And as she ducked away from an exploding car tossed by one of the three skull-free wonders, raising a water shield as she went, Kei figured if Iida was still alive when she found him again, he owed her one free chokeslam for this. Possibly two.

“Stay back, Cascade!” Manual ordered, once Kei finally got water flowing out of the nearest fire hydrant. “Leave combat to the pros!”

While Kei’s first instinct would’ve been to decapitate the fire hydrant, Manual had walked Kei through the procedure for tapping local water supplies for his Quirk without unduly stressing the system. Normal firefighters would still need the hydrant later. Particularly if every vehicle in town kept catching fire when a villain flipped it hard enough.

Speaking of decapitations, though, it seemed as though the knowledge of how to stop someone like Nōmu hadn’t yet disseminated to the larger hero community. She heard a couple of pros shout for the various blank-eyed—or even eyeless—villains to surrender, to no avail. It was difficult to make out the sound over the cacophony of screaming civilians and bellowing monsters bent on breaking every gas main they could find.

Kei cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted back, “Manual-sensei, I can help!”

“I won’t put you in danger.” Manual grunted with effort as his Quirk took hold of every drop of water bursting to the surface. “If you want to help, keep an eye out for civilians and find Iida-kun!”

[nataliawrites]

The Cat's Meow // Lando Norris

You would never be used to this. The fans and photographers and journalists snapping photos of you just because you walked in next to your boyfriend. Your hand linked with his, a smile graced your face as you enjoyed the feeling of a beautiful spring day in Baku with the man you loved and ignored the cameras as best you could.

Lando chattered away about your dinner plans, excited to meet up with his friends around the grid, while the general noise of race-day enveloped you as the two of you made your way to the McLaren motorhome.

Your head snapped up as the indistinguishable conversation and random shouts from media members to look their way were cut through by a high pitched squeak, “did you hear that?”

Lando paused while describing the club you would be going to later tonight, “hear what?”

Another squeak.

“That,” you stopped in the middle of the pathway and listened. It was coming from a grassy area covered with little bushes just beyond the fence.

You grabbed your boyfriend’s hand and dragged him with you as you found the nearest gate and waited for the security guard to let you past. You followed the squeaks to an era of low shrubs and knelt down to look between them.

“Oh my god!”

“What is it?” Lando squatted down and tried to peak over your shoulder.

You stared at the little balls of fluff still too young to properly open their eyes, “they’re newborn kittens!”

“Y/N … you know we can’t.”

You moved to get a better view and teared up at the sight of the cat laying behind the kittens, limp and stained with blood. She clearly didn’t make it through the birth. “But their mother’s dead,” your voice wavered as you tried to hold back tears.

“Love, there’s nowhere we can-“

You finally burst into tears, overcome with the thought of the innocent babies in front of you not making it, “they’ll die if someone doesn’t take them. They’re so small.”

“Okay-okay. Don’t cry,” Lando soothed you. “Just give me a minute.” He ran back towards the paddock as you took off your cardigan and carefully wrapped the kittens in it to keep them warm.

Soon enough, Lando returned and joined you on the slightly damp grass. He placed the cardboard box stuffed with a few papaya t-shirts to line it that he brought back in front of you and you slowly moved the kitten-filled cardigan into it.

“There’s three of them.”

You wiped your eyes, “I’m not giving them up. They need us.”

“I know, love. You’re so caring. It’s why I fell for you in the first place.”

“Thank you, Lan. I need milk and a dropper for now until I can run out and get them proper formula after the race.”

He helped you up and led you toward the motorhome again, “there’s milk in my driver’s room and we can stop by the medical center to see if they have a dropper we can use.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Even when you decide to randomly adopt three kittens during a Grand Prix.”

You were so lucky.

yourusername

Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 121,693 others

yourusername meet baku, papaya, and norri

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landonorris can’t believe i’m a dad

carlossainz55 does this mean i’m a godfather?

yourusername yes, we expect you at every christmas for the kids

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

Some random 141 Headcannons.

I thought these be pretty fun to do. Kind of cute little Headcannons for my boys.

Kyle Gaz Garrick

Big anime fan. Love all the classic anime,  Naruto (sometimes he and Soap will do the Naruto run) Dbz, Inuyash. His  absolute favorite is Yu Yu Hakusho, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, HunterxHunter, Trigun and FullMetal Alchemist

He’s amazing at Ping pong, on the base he’s basically unbeatable.

Hell of a amazing baker. When it’s someone’s birthday he’ll make them a nice cake. And some times will randomly make cookies for the teams. Will literally have to fight Ghost because he almost ate all of the cookies.

Loves all animals, but sadly he’s a allergic bunnies. Breaks his sweet heart. Will almost burst into tears if he sees smol puppy or kitten.

Can do hand stands with easy.

Played every Zelda game ever! Link and Zelda are his mine in super smash. Loves Kingdom hearts and losted his mind when Sora in going in the new smash game.

Johnny Soap MacTavish

Also a anime fan. Love Demon Slayer, Ranking Of Kings and Jujutsu Kaisen.

Huge Mario Fan plays all the game and he and Kyle will have Super Smash Tournaments and Mario Kart Racing. He’s the biggest Pokémon fan boy and knows the lore like the back of his had. Played all the games, as a loads of plusies from from differnets games and anime. His all time faveorte starter is Bulbasaur. Wants a real Pikachu.

Can’t for beans. Kyle to each him how make chocolate chip cookies nearly burned kitchen down. Price still made it a new not to let Johnny too cook or touch the stove. At all.

Great with small childien. Has a nephews and niece helped raise and babysits them before he join the army. Big family man for sure. 

Simon Ghost Riley

Foodie. I mean it this man can eat. He has eaten haft of plate of cookies until Kyle told to save some for the other man than once.

Like anime too. Big I mean BIG DBZ fan. Piccolo is favorite. Has at least tried once I trust become a super Saiyan when he was younger. He watched Ranking Of Kings, by the episode 2 is was almost sobbing. Big Digiman fan.

Works out. lmost daily. Considers it his alone time. He’s alone he likes to flex in front of the mirror. He’s very proud of his physique. (Aaaaand Johnny had seen doing it, took a video with him knowing and sent to Kyle. Both still almost wet themselves laughing at it too this day)

Love all animals. When he retires wants to get a small small house with a farm to raise few chickens and dog.

Is afraid swans. Was attacked by one when he was a child. Hated snakes more afraid of the them than swans. Will have a panic attack if he sees one. (Poor baby)

Captain John Price.

Has 2 cats. A white lazy cat that loves to cuddle and calm and chaotic orange one and dose orange cat things. Out no where he would just zoom around the house and annoy his sister and dad. As a million pictures of his fur babies on his phone. So cat dad.

Smokes high end cigars, trying quit smoking. Snores super loudly could wake up the whole base. Denys it too.

Hates doing paperwork. A bit of a workaholic. The boys found him passed out in his desk sometimes.

Dose not play video games game that much. But has plays the Tall tell’s The walking dead. Cried so hard. Loves anime. Trigun being one his all time favorite. Loves metal music. Linkin Park as a special place in his heart.

Huge Pokémon fan. Plays Pokémon Go. Plays Minecraft to help him relax. Has played with Kyle. The two troll the crap out of each when the play.

Would foster some kittens but the man would fall love and keep all them if he could. Wants to get another cat at some point. Again Cat dad. %100

[whirlwindimagines]

Hey!! I love your work I was wondering if I could ask for some Vash comforting Reader who’s got adhd and some real shitty parents who treat them like an animal because of it? Mostly self indulgent since I’ve been dealing with that shit lately and just need some comfort but if this is out of your comfort zone then there’s no worries at all!!!! Please make sure to take care of yourself too and always remember you’re loved!!! Love and peace ✌️💕

Thank you! And I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so down, and dealing with that. I’m probably, not the best person to write this lol so I just tried to write some comfort. I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but I hope you enjoy it! And you are loved too! 💙

‘And I’ll love the world, like I should’

Vash X Reader

Opening the window quietly, the night air hits your tear-stained face. And while it makes you feel a little better, but not by much. Taking a deep breath, you sneak out of the window and hit the desert sand with a soft ‘thud’.

Shoving your hands in your coat pocket, you head out into the dunes. There’s a great overhang outside of town, that you love resting at. You go there to think and just be. Kicking some rocks out of the way, you try not to think of home. But it’s painful not to, your mind randomly jumps to Vash.

It warms your heart a bit thinking of him, meeting him had been an accident. You helped him out when some bounty hunters were on his tail. After everything got sorted out, you bought him a warm meal and he was very appreciative of it.

The week or so he spent with you was one of the best ever, spending time with someone so kind made your life for the moment easier. Vash was easy to talk to and he was a good shoulder to cry on. While he helped you with your own messy emotions you also liked helping him. Your problems seemed so small in comparison to his, but he never made you feel that way.

Reaching the cliff side, you sat down on the ledge swinging your feet back and forth. You missed him, watching him leave was hard and it made returning back to your cold home even more painful. He would try to visit when he can, and you enjoyed it every time. It’s been a while now almost a month and you missed him greatly.

Moving to lay on your back, you rest your hands over your stomach and close your eyes. You figured sleeping out here was better than home, not knowing how long you’ve resting there you hear footsteps behind you.

Sitting up in slight fear you turn, you let out a soft gasp as Vash stands before you giving you a wave and a soft smile. You burst into tears, Vash lets out a confused noise and quickly reaches your side dropping to his knees before you. His hands hover only for a moment before he gathers you in his arms you resting in his lap.

He presses a kiss to the top of your head before resting his cheek on your head. Holding you carefully in his arms, “it’s okay, I’m here.” He mutters it softly to you. The tears keep coming and your hands grip his jacket like it’s a lifeline.

“Sorry.” You whisper, Vash grips your chin making you look at him, he’s looking at you so kindly it makes your heart hurt. “Don’t ever apologize for your feelings.” He pouts at you, and you smile weakly at him. You sigh leaning into him, “it’s just so hard ya know. I feel like I’m broken” You whisper, Vash presses another kiss to the top of your head and makes your heart flutter. 

Vash let’s put a ‘hum’ rocking you a bit, “I know, but there’s nothing wrong with you.” More tears start to fall and you sniffle as Vash holds you closer, “you are not broken.” He says it so sternly it makes you jump, looking up and meeting his gaze you can see how serious he is.

You open your mouth to argue with him, but you're too tired. Feeling a little better, you close your eyes with a soft sigh. “Thank you, Vash, I’m glad your here.” And you mean it, you don’t ask why he is here and how long he’s staying for right now being with him like this is enough to ease your pain. 

Eyes opening with a start you yelp as Vash suddenly stands your arms going around his neck. “I’m glad I’m here too, but I’m not letting you sleep out here.” You whine, “I don’t want to go home.” You admit softly, and Vash smiles at you. 

“I won’t make you go back there; I got a hotel room for the night we can sleep there.” You like the sound of that resting your head in the crook of his neck you flush as you ask your next question. “Together?” With your hand on his chest, you feel his heart race. 

“Yeah together.” Smiling and content you close your eyes, trusting Vash to take care of you and keep you safe.

[secretlythepits]

Sad Things

My husband sold his bicycle last night. It’s his favorite sport. At one point he had 3 different bikes. Now he has none. The premise is maybe when he’s feeling better he’ll get a new fancy like he always wanted to, but he didn’t even pretend that was likely.

He asked me if the kids knew recent developments. I told him I’ve been keeping them updated. He was relieved. I told him that communication is hard for him so I decided to do it for him so he wouldn’t have to. I’m following my intuition. Telling the kids. More recently, updating his closest friends. So he doesn’t have to. He was grateful, wants me to keep doing it.

I was frustrated when he was in denial, but I’m heartbroken now that he’s not. He did 2 SBRT sessions and has 3 more next week, then he’s done. He’s getting tired of treatment. I think when there isn’t a cure, it’s hard to just do it but he’s nowhere near ready to question it. And for someone who wants to follow standard western medical practices, it would be premature.

Me?

I’m breaking my teeth because I clench so tightly at night. I’ll be getting a night guard but it takes time and I am so humiliated and afraid of the damage I’m doing.I’m avoiding going to bed right now because it’s basically the time of day I create pain. Valium isn’t really healing and I daren’t take any pain pills because how would it not become an addiction. My pain level is 8-9.

And I’ve been bursting into tears. Yesterday at the dentist. Today at home in front of the kids, doubling over because I could not stop. That was due to getting an email where someone said they’d help me register my child for an AP test— a favor I needed. My biggest son gave me a hug and I was sobbing into his chest the way he used to cry onto mine. Surreal.

And problems walking. Mixing my words. Getting confused by calendar time. Emotional dysregulation.

I would love to go into that dark sensory goo and take a real rest. I did that once, the weekend I got engaged. Was it good? Probably just salt water. I can’t remember. I just remember the world stopping for a bit and expecting nothing from me.

I can’t believe my husband doesn’t own a bike anymore.

He bought me a fancy mailbox this week. Randomly. Something I always wanted, not a priority.

Ok. I’m going to try to relax and sleep. This isn’t working.

[cloevr]

bad news: siggy has been missing ever since my parents let him out in the middle of the night a few days ago and i'm getting increasingly afraid my worst fear is going to come true i know its only been 3 days but i feel like i'm going to fall apart... i keep crying randomly whenever i remember hes not home i just burst into tears at the sight of a little ball of his fur inside the garage by the door

surprisingly my parents are actually trying to help look out for him like checking local animal places and neighborhood pages my mom is a member of on like facebook and shit. we cant do posters outside because its like chronically rainy and high winds. i keep feeling so sick to my stomach at the thought of anything bad happening to him im hoping at least maybe someone took him in since hes not chipped or collared. i want so badly for him to be eating and safe and warm but i dont know that for sure so im so stressed

[theblankest123]

I dont wanna be annoying

But i think i really need a hug right now

It wont fix me but might make me feel better

Ive been having some sudden extreme existencial crisis and a fear of the eventual death that will fome for me one day and my family and friends and my pets i love and the creatures i look at outside

I thought i was fairly fine with handling this topic, life is a wonderful thing which price is the eventual death and the eventual fact that it will be forgotten when the world and then the whole universe dies, but that does not mean that it should not be celebrated and it doesnt mean it does not have meaning right now

But no matter how much i tell myself this right now and feel better for a bit with this truth, my brain does not stop pumping the terror and sadness chemicals and i keep thinking and thinking and thinking about it no matter what i do or try and randomly burst into tears

I really should discuss this with my parents and a therapist but right now i just want someone to acknowledge this. I guess. I wanna hug someone and cry until it finally stops and i can feel normal again. Petting my pets didnt really help though :(

Edit: im feeling a lot better now so :]

[heromaker-if]

What would be Hero and the ROs reaction to an MC who was so heartbroken and in so much despair after Frey's death that they randomly lose their memory?

They forget that Frey has died and when they see Hero, their first thought would be why there is a kid that look so much like Frey and they cannot even remember when Hero calls them. Even when Hero looks at them confusingly, or bursts into tears, they can not recall any memory of them, sometimes MC would even ask if they are someone related to Frey and inquire them of Frey's whereabouts. Only after some specific time would they get their sense back and they would remember the time when they forget who Hero is. At that time they would cry and apologize, and promise that incident would never occur again, but again and again they just lose their memory, nothing changes.

What possessed you to ask me this.

Like, I REALLY want to know where tf do you get these ideas from? I'm shocked and flabbergasted, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HERO, TO THE ROS, TO THE MC????? I mean, I get it. The story itself is pretty angsty, but this??? Cruel. Plain evil.

I really hate the idea of MC forgetting Hero. That upsets me to such a quantum level, so I'm removing that from your ask if you don't mind. Memory loss due to trauma happens a lot, but I don't want it to happen between MC and Hero... 😢

Everything else... I'll do my best. Thank you for sending this ask! Please take pity on me.

Pachypoda would deal with it graciously. They would be able to find a solution to the problem. After all, there are many remedies and potions that can cure amnesia. But during the times where you are not healed yet, it does bring them a lot of pain to have to see you so delusionally believe the things that you do. They never correct you though, they'll wait for the time when they can help you, for now, you should be happy.

Astro/a is very much concerned. They get kind of awkward about it and don't know how to deal with it. They're not used to something like this. After all, they are a rather honest person, and not telling you about what's actually happening is very difficult for them. But they'll grow used to it with time, and give you whatever lie you need to be happy. That's the most important thing.

Secret LI1 at first, tells you every time you forget. Simply because they think you deserve to know. But the more times you keep forgetting, the more frustrated and guilty they feel. At some point, they stop telling you, they become distant and can't be around you because of how much resentment they feel towards themselves. It will be better for you to feel like you have your old life back, and they weren't there then, they won't be there now.

Secret LI2 would do their best to make you believe that truly everything is alright. They wouldn't mind letting you live like that, it's better to live ignorant than to know of all the pain that consumed your previous mind, only to consume this one too. They won't let you do that. But they will find some sort of way to regain your memories back permanently, it's better than being in this limbo.

[words-at-4am]

I am posting to vent really.. I feel as though I am stuck in this loop. I’ve worked 7 days a week for the past 3 months straight minus a week for getting the cold. And it’s really messing with my mental health. At first I thought I could handle it.. I was making some more money, I was active every day.. I thought it was making me more productive.

The other is a stable reliable job in the medical field, which I never wanted to be in. One that drains me the second I enter the door. One that is extremely stressful because, while it’s stable and the spot is secure and easy to get to, it pays way less. I’m a pharmacy technician with no schooling background or prior medical knowledge in a low income area. Someone’s always screaming and crying. We are constantly denying ppl there meds because of insurance issues and it’s just mentally a lot on my soul. Not to mention i dam near break down everytime someone asks me an array of questions I don’t know the answer to even after working here for 7months. Rightfully so since pharma n POC don’t have the most trusting relationship. They look at me and think they can trust me, which they can I try my best to fully assist anyone and use every method to help even ones my coworkers would “overlook”. But It’s a lot. I know nothing about pharmacology. I barely took Tylenol before this job. I thought it would be a good stable job to signify that I was finally getting my life in order, dropped the arts, which I love and got a “respectable” profession.

They said I didn’t need any prior knowledge and I’d pick it up as I go.. the only thing I know how to do by heart is fill pill bottles. And even then.. I can’t pronounce half of the pills. Someone ask me a question I have to tell them to hold on and ask someone else…. And they always side eye me. Like somehow I, who was hired with no prior knowledge at all.. should know things they did after years of schooling. If I had a headache I drank tea, I’m Caribbean🤣 I didn’t go buying 3 types of pain killers it’s not “common knowledge” to me. In any case I feel like I need to drop one. I’m so tired now. Bags under my eyes, skin a mess.. I have more money I suppose but not enough to keep running myself into the ground. I have no time for doc appts , hair appts , spend time with family or friends. Do any hobbies, I just sleep. I don’t eat properly anymore I just eat whatever is closest outside..lately I’ve felt the urge to randomly bursted into tears having to go to bathrooms to pull myself together.. I force and drag myself up every morning but especially to the medical job. & no I got no kids. I live with my disabled mother. I know I need to make a change.. But I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to make the wrong decision & end up without a job. The first one is so finicky they could tell me that it’s not working out tomorrow and that would be it. The medical one is unionized. But tbh I suck at my job.I wanted to go back to school, but it’s been so long since I’ve dreamed of something to do that wasn’t just to survive...

In any case.. I feel like maybe I just stick with the pharmacy because it stable. I am looking for other jobs but there isn’t much luck. I still apply everyday to at least 5. My friends & family say follow my heart and care for my mind. But I don’t want to be the only person in my circle without an “adult” job. Or in school. I don’t want to be end up the broke or liability person, I don’t want to burden those around me, I don’t want to be 25 in my moms home still lost on where to start. I had a rough childhood, abuse of many kinds etc. I never thought I’d make it to 25.. now I’m here I’m grateful.. I just want to be able to take care of myself financially and also have time to care for myself in other ways, then care for my family. So.. yeah this is the first time in months I’ve said a word about how overwhelmed I feel. Sorry if it’s a lot or sounds like it’s not that deep.. it is to me.

And thanks for having a space I can release.

[tera-nyx]

Defenseless

“Hey Zoey!”

“Teraaaaaaaa!” she sings back to me through my computer. I’m sitting in the kitchen of a small house. The whole thing is quite small, but homey. There’s a one car garage that leads to the kitchen, where I’m sitting at the dining room table with a laptop in front of me. Outside the glass sliding door is a small yard with a light wood privacy fence.

My partner Ella is not home, she’s off at work today. The silence between greetings with Zoey yields to a click of the front door. I hear it swing open gently, and then silence takes hold again. “Hold on Zoey I think the front door blew open or something,” I get up to go look. The angle from the kitchen doesn’t allow me to see it until I come out of the kitchen. A wall separates the kitchen from the living room, and the living room is directly attached to the entryway. Next to the entryway is a stairwell that leads to the bedroom upstairs.

I come through the doorway between the kitchen and living room to view the front door. No one is there, there’s no one on the stairs next to it going upstairs. Wind? I thought I locked it, but maybe not. The door flails quietly from the mild summer breeze outside.

I close the front door and lock the deadbolt. Before even the first step back towards the kitchen, I hear another click. Shruffft. I swallow hard, and hurry back to find the sliding glass kitchen door open. I ensure no one is inside the kitchen and close the door, locking the door again. My hands tremble and a chill creeps down my spine.

“What’s going on?” Zoey askes through the video call.

“The doors are opening randomly, I gotta go, I’m gonna call Ella to see if she’s messing with me.” I hang up the call with Zoey. I hit call on my phone for Ella, and as it rings and a menacing click echos from the other room. I run into the convergence between the kitchen and living room to see that the latch on the sliding door between the living room and the outside is down, indicating it’s unlocked. The chills in my spine increase in intensity, panic solidifies, and tears begin to fill my eyes.

“Fuck, El, pick up,” I stammer. I stay in the middle of the house to watch the doors, fearing the unlocked living room door. Two more grating rings sustain over what seems like eternity.

“Hey love what’s up, I’m at work?”

“You’re at work?” My voice nearly breaks.

“Yeah, what’s up?” she replied with worry in her voice.

“The doors keep unlocking and opening and I don’t know what to do.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Like the doors keep -” another click at the front door. “Fuck no no no no no.” I involuntarily cover my mouth with my free hand.

“Hon, try to calm down, you're not making sense - what’s going on?”

“Someone is getting into the house Ella please help me,” my legs collapse beneath me. “I think they’re going to hurt me.”

“I’m going to contact the police, just get out of there,” she said gravely.

“They’re already out there, or in here, I don’t know!” Tears rush down my face.

“Hey stay on the line with me then, tell me what’s happen-” the front door flings open. I let loose a short scream. Adrenaline kicks into my legs and I sprint to the door. I slam it close and lock the deadbolt, and run towards the still unlocked living room door.

As I drop the latch into the locked position, I hear the front door unlock again behind me. Before I turn around, I hear it burst open violently and rapid footsteps ascend the stairs to the bedroom. I turn to see the door is ajar, and bouncing halfway back closed from hitting the stopper. My grip on my phone is painful, but all I can do to stop from dropping it due to the shaking. I slide into a fetal position underneath the handle of the living room door, staring at the front door behind the sofa.

“Tera! Tera! Talk to me are you okay?!” Ella’s frantic digital voice yells through the cell. “Tera?!!”

“I’m here,” I sob. “They are in the house.”

“Run!” Ella urges. “Just get out of there!” 

I gather the energy when I hear another click and the sliding of the kitchen door on the other side of the wall. There’s more than one.

“I can’t, they’re everywhere.” I revolved my gaze from the front door to the kitchen doorway to the stairway, and then back to the front door again and again. Upstairs I hear some sort of white noise press through the floor and bounce down the stairs. It gets louder, sustains, and then slowly trails off.

I remember there’s a rainstick next to the bed, the one that I was supposed to use when I’m panicking, but it has the opposite effect that it’s supposed to.

My voice comes out as if drained of life. “I can hear the rainstick.” It mocks the way I try to ground in the moment. Tears stream down my face. My lungs spasm. I’m drowning in terror. Nothing will ever be okay again.

“I love you El, I’m so sorry.”

[oennpellmell]

US democrats quietness about their achievement aside (and at this point I am telling you they are doing it on purpose) there is a reason why GOOD doesn't make noise: society (and people profiting from it) doesn't let it be loud. Whenever someone just want to tell the good they did, (may it have a large scale impact or not) there is always a crowd of A-holes telling them "it is virtue signaling", that they just want attention therefore their action cannot be called GOOD and that if they really were a good person they should stay humble about their good deed as rewards will always come naturally for those who remains humble.

Seriously. Every. Single. Time!

Which result in two things: 1/ You can't be openly proud of your positive impact without being called out. 2/ Actual opportunists USE that for their own advantage to control the narrative (just like the insulin thing above) and their public image.

It is a feature not a bug. It is freaking toxic and we need to get out of this mindset that it is a lack of humility to share the good stuff we do.

There is no wrong in being proud of it. And people need to get off their high horse that the only reward for goodness comes in the afterlife therefore it doesn't matter if it unnoticed or even worse, that it should be unnoticed to be rewarded.

FUCK. THAT!

I wan us to share all the good stuff we did: big or small. Because people need to know stuff is done by a wide variety of people. And not just the one who want the narrative.

Make it the loudest thread of good deeds to show that we can make public traction by taping in people hope and not their fear.

Make noise!

I start: - I have prevented all my neighbors to be burned alive by waking them up before it was too late for us to escape the ongoing fire of our building. - I went to the ER to accompany a complete stranger that was at my work Christmas party just so they wouldn't be alone while recovering from their seizure. - I assisted a pregnant woman that collapsed in the subway train, when no one raised a finger (while I was on my way to my graduation ceremony). - I saved the life of a friend that had Lyme disease by pointing out that the bruise they had on their leg was not a bruise but a bug bite that got infected. When three different hospital were wasting their time in focusing on cancer. - I have sheltered a beaten woman in my home, when I found her hiding under my porch to protect her from her enraged boyfriend who was looking for her in my street and disturbing the traffic. On smaller scale: - I have tracked someone just with the help of their college ID name, to return their wallet I found on a street. - I went to a lengthy trip to return a letter I found in the mud (unopen) to its recipient. - Every time I am in a bus or a train, I keep an eye on people around me and if the road become bumpy I always shield my neighbor to prevent them from falling. So far, I have prevented 3 people to hurt themselves badly. - When I was living in big cities, I would randomly write on the snow piled on cars, stuff like "I wish you a good day" just because I hoped it could lift up the mood of people going to work in the next morning. - I have shared or given away my lunch to several people in my life just to make sure they were not going hungry - I have fought for my subordinates to have a raise when I saw the inequality in their salary. - When one of my employers was managing their staff solely by point their mistake out to show they were the boss which always resulted in my colleagues being miserable and unable to be efficient, I always took them apart to cheer them up and tell them the stuff they were doing right. One of them burst into tears because until I told them so they had no idea if they were doing a good job. - I make sure that every one working in my team is in a good mood and not feeling distressed. If they aren't, I send them to rest and reduce their work load because fuck corporation mindset. No business should be done at the the price of someone else physical and mental health. And... - I have held on a butterfly with broken winds I saw fall from the ceiling from the middle of Manhattan to my residential garden flowers pots across the river, to make sure it would survive a bit longer and die surrounded by flowers Now your turn people!

[cursedfavorite]

friday, march 3rd, 2023.

it's been almost a year since i've actually used this blog. i thought of it again for the first time in a while when i googled maddie's name in search of her social media, and found her obituary, instead.

maddie was a girl in my summer camp cabin, back in 2018 and 2019. i keep having to refrain from calling her my friend; we only talked some, we barely interacted outside of camp, and i highly doubt she would've considered me a friend in return. i remember how much i wanted to be her friend, though. i picked favorites at that camp, and she was my favorite, but i thought she was too cool for me, so i decided to not force anything on her too much.

she was a tomboy, and a leader; someone you could depend on. she looked out for the shy kids. she was the main reason our cabin had its inside jokes. she was sassy, and a little dark sometimes. she was the kind of person who doesn't even need to do anything to light up the room. she just had a lively energy about her that made her so easy to like. i also found out through the site that she was a very musical person, and loved the color magenta. if we had been able to interact again today, i think we would have gotten along really well. she died in 2021.

i've been doing badly since finding out about maddie's death. it's changed everything for me. the day i found out, there wasn't a single activity that could get me to forget about her, not even for even a split second. it's been two weeks now, and it's gotten easier, but it hasn't gone away. i don't have to be actively thinking about her anymore for her death to still affect me. i can't eat anymore. me finishing a subway sandwich yesterday was a huge accomplishment. i can't take care of my hygiene anymore. my mouth hurts so bad because i used to be really good at keeping up with brushing and flossing, and now i've stopped almost entirely. i can't sleep anymore. it's midnight right now. my heart is randomly assaulted by such a painful feeling of longing that it feels like it'll burst. i'm at least glad i've stopped bursting into tears. i have to be careful what songs i listen to, because even the ones i wouldn't expect can cause me problems now. memories of her that i haven't even thought of since they were actively happening keep popping into my mind these days, which i'm grateful for because i don't want to forget anything about her. i had abandoned my ukulele, but i started playing it again because i found out she played it. i made a magenta bracelet for her the night i found out, and whenever i really miss her, i slip it on and it helps. i want it to help more, though. i don't want the past to hurt me anymore. i thought i was getting better at not letting nostalgia hurt me, and then she died. my times at camp were the best times of my life, but now i can't look back at them anymore because she was such a huge part of it and her loss soaks into everything.

i just miss her. i really miss her. i looked up to her, and now i'm the one who's older. she's going to stay 15 forever, yet i still see her as a role model, and will continue to. it makes me feel so lost. my dad lives in the city she lived in. we've talked about me visiting him there, and how i wouldn't be able to handle such a long drive, but if i ever end up doing it... i think i'll leave some flowers for her. i'll make sure they're magenta, too.

[montgomerygaytor]

S s s sun and moondrop x reader with messy sleep schedule headcanons? Like sometimes they stay up for three day straight, other times they're asleep at like 6pm, other times they sleep at 10pm but then wake up at 4am before falling back to sleep At 2 pm. Stuff like that!! You don't have to do this request tho, have a good day!

Thank you for this I can't guarantee that these will be good but I've had a pretty crap week so hopefully writing will help me.

Sorry for taking so long with posting this I'm just trying to clear my head and get back to my normal. So basically I just need to try and start writing again and cosplaying again :D

Masterlist

Sundrop, Moondrop x reader (separate)

Sundrop <3

Pronouns: None mentioned for reader

He/Him for Sun and Moon

Warnings: None that I'm aware of

» He loves you so much and would never ever want to watch you hurt

»so your sleep schedule worries him

»He stays up with you as long as the lights are on and when he knows that the lights may go out he brings you a load of blankets and stuff in case you randomly decide to sleep.

» If he could he'd try to force you to have a normal sleep schedule but he's worried that you'd get mad

» If you have trouble falling asleep at times, he'd definitely keep you occupied

»I could honestly seem him messing up your sleep schedule more

»I'm sure we all know he means well but he's a robot that only seems to calm down when told that it's nap time

»so if you let him he's gonna keep being as energetic as normal

»I think that if you had just met, he wouldn't realise how horrible your sleeping pattern is

»If you get angry or just in a mad blood because of a lack of sleep and he doesn't realise, please try not to snap at him

»If he can, he WILL burst into tears immediately

» If your sleep pattern causes your health to deteriorate he will have to start taking action

» He'll set a bedtime for you if he really thinks you need it

»kinda threatening to have a giant robot telling you when your bedtime is

» He sometimes hopes that you aren't tired just so he can spend every second of his time with you.

» you are everything to him so if you are ok with your sleep schedule then he'll leave you be

Moondrop <3

» sleep

» He doesn't care if you want to or not

» sleep

» but seriously he would drag you somewhere random and cosy and just keep you there until you slept, doesn't matter if it takes days

»ok, yes, you can probably say that's kidnapping but he sees it as looking out for someone he cares about

» He'd grab soany plushies and just throw them at you until you sleep

»I think he'd lock you in a room from the outside and then get into the room through a vent

»Cuddles. He may not want to stay up with you but he will never turn down cuddling.

» He isn't particularly liked by the kids so it makes sense that he's quite touch starved and loves it when someone just holds him

» If he feels like your sleeping for too long though and you get too comfortable, he will hit you with a pillow or something

» actually, he's probably one of the reasons your sleep pattern has been destroyed :)

» If you aren't hurt, you can still cuddle that's his thinking

»I swear if he found you asleep in like a play structure he would throw you down there as quick as he could

» people would think that the daycare attendant that is meant to help kids fall asleep would be quite quiet but no

» He trips over things so often that if you had just missed, idk a week of sleep, and you were just drifting off he would trip over something LOUD

»needs constant attention

»has damaged his ankles a few times from "Tripping" over some paint cans

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Sorry that's all I could think of. Now let me go be sad and read some Monty fanfic. (I promise I'm writing other requests)

[quackiseok]

— my honeypie

dream team x reader || headcanons

genre : fluff

warnings : swearing , public nervousness

anon asked : Omh your kisses hcs were so cute 🥰 could I request hcs with dream and george (and anyone else is you want!) with a shy reader?? Like, social anxiety and loner type of person? Thank you in advance, Darling! ❤

a/n : ANON ISTG YOU'RE THE SWEETEST 🥺💞 this is such a cute idea!! i'm so sorry this took so long but i hope you like it :] and i'm really sorry for the grammatical mistakes my brain was going WJEJRJRJRR while writing this OTL

song to listen to while reading :

; DREAM

he would be VERY careful around you

he would also be very caring towards you, always making sure that you're comfortable with him! :]

even though sometimes he would tease you by giving you cheesy pick up lines, he's actually the SWEETEST mf alive 🥺

he secretly LOVES how your face turns red when the two of you look at each other for more than 5 seconds 👉👈

as much as he wanted to tease you and just turn you into a human heater, he will refrain himself with all his might from doing so because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable :(

and when the two of you are cuddling and you turned red because how close the two of you were? [internal positive screaming from dream cause— man, you're just too cute and that should be illegal]

has a thing for : you hiding your face on his chest or the crook of his neck when you're feeling embarrassed or flustered psst, he enjoys it when you do that because he thinks you're so adorable AAAAA

he would also definitely let out a giggle before pulling you into his embrace when you're feeling shy, just letting you melt and hide your face on his chest,,,,,,,,,,,

and he doesn't want you to feel bad for being shy, so he would ALWAYS be very comforting when you're being shy,, like patting your back in a hug while whispering sweet stuff and say that "it's okay! i love you just the way you are, don't be sorry for being yourself." HNNGBTHHHTH HE IS SO WHOLESOME IM GONNA BURST INTO TEARS

in public? 100% protective mode on the whole time

will literally give actual death glares to people who makes you uncomfy with zero hesitation

if someone is obviously making you uncomfortable? he'd step into the conversation, somehow smoothly brought the bond to an end like it's so smooth that the person probably wouldn't even notice the death glare he's giving,,

either way, you're so thankful he's really good at talking things out 🥺🥺

but you love his protective side since it makes you feel safe!! :]

he'll always check on you and make sure that you're feeling ok :) if you don't mind, he'll gladly hold your hand and bring you closer to him

he would always try to distract you from feeling nervous by asking about the things you're interested in so you'd be distracted and just happily focus with the conversation between the two of you 🥺

((he loves the way you beam up when you talk about the things you love 🥺💞))

so overall? dream is a protective, loving dog boy who will literally square anyone up if they dare make you feel uncomfortable

; GEORGE

even though the two of you are both shy, george is definitely more protective over you

he 100% thinks you're so cute when you get all flushed around him so he couldn't help but tease you sometimes

but he does it occasionally and he only tease you mildly since he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable around him :((

has a thing for you getting shy in his hoodies, especially his merch hoodies >:]

why, you ask?

BECAUSE OOTMFMYGOD when you get flustered, your cheeks would go red and you'll cover your face with those cute sweater paws from his oversized hoodies and ohmyggdodod is it even possible not to let out a slight blush from the cute sight???

instead of admitting to you that he LOVES seeing you in his oversized hoodies, he would just randomly give you his hoodie and say stuff like "wear it, it's getting cold here." "wear this. it's comfortable, i swear." AAAAAAA <//3

ah yes, the two of you love cuddles and hugs but both are shy as well. what could happen?

the two of you are shy, of course. but this man would literally risk everything just to cuddle you, like even though he feels like he's gonna melt into a puddle if he makes a move on you, he does it anyways >:)

it's cute how he would just immediately turn red after giving you a hug, and you'll also turn red like him after a few seconds! but the two of you really said 'fuck it' and just melt into a puddle together ♡

but when in public?

george would 100% gets protective and less shy when it comes to protecting you

he would act SO COLD towards people who visibly makes you nervous or uncomfortable, so cold that he can end uncomfortable conversations immediately. mans deadass can stop the global warming with his attitude 😳

even though he looks cold, you're thankful that he can get the two of you out of such situations like that! :]

will let you play with his fingers when you need distraction or he'll show you cottagecore minecraft houses and ask you to build one with him later which would distract you from feeling nervous 🥺

and always make sure that you're feeling okay, and will offer you to go home and cuddle instead if you say you're not feeling great 👉👈

overall? george is a shy cat boy who secretly cares so much and will do anything just to see you smile or make you feel better

; SAPNAP

this mf right here will tease you almost everyday just to see you all flustered and red because of his cheesy words

but of course, he knows when to stop. mans knows the line!! :D

he just couldn't help it 'cause??? you're just so fucking cute????? like everytime he sees you his heart goes AKSJEKWKSJEJS because how cute you are 🥺

mans would definitely lift you up out of no where whenever he sees you doing nothing

like when you're walking down the hallway? he goes to you and just picks you up bridal style while nuzzling his face on you because DAMMMIT YOURE JUST WAY TOO CUTE >:(

or sometimes he would just hug you and lift you up while you're still in his embrace, your flustered face burried in his chest while he whispers out how much he adores you 🥺

basically just everything that involves him picking you up and shower you with lots of love, he'll do it 😳

you'd go all flustered which he absolutely adores but will immediately let you down if you said so and wouldn't do it again if you're uncomfortable with it :] ((he knows the limit babe ♡))

even though sapnap is a really sweet, clingy (in a positive way!), and playful guy; it's a different story in public

well i mean, he still acts really playful with you— but with the people who makes you feel uncomfortable? no mercy at all

like he can go from giving you the sweetest puppy eyes filled with stars to giving "i will snap your ass in half" glares to people who makes you nervous

sapnap will not hestitate to pull you closer to his embrace and tell the person that the two of you gotta go now and just walk away,

death glares are essential according to him

nonetheless, you're just thankful that he's there to save you from unwanted conversations with some people 🥺

will tell you his embarrassing but funny stories just to make you laugh and distract you from your nervousness despite him knowing the fatct that you would tease him with the story for weeks

he doesn't care, as long as you're happy 🥺🥺

would also play with your fingers and just ask you about random things to keep you distracted! :)

of course he'll crack so many jokes with you, and he just never fail to make you laugh happily 🥺

overall?? sapnap is a loving, playful dog boy who loves teasing you but then when someone else makes you uncomfortable he will growl at them