#Adam Dalgliesh x platonic!reader

[fictionfromthevoid]

Being Adam Dalgliesh's best friend- headcanons

A/N: female reader, this is about the 2021 TV show

Warnings: mention of death of kid and partner , depression, suicidal thoughts

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You've known each other since you were children and have been best friends ever since

You were the best woman at his wedding and the Godmother/aunt of his child

When his wife and child die, you are there for him

You hold him when he cries, you organize the funeral, you pack the baby stuff into boxes so that he doesn't have to see it every day

You cook for him and make sure he eats when he can't get out of bed because life has become pointless, and all he wants to do is die

He probably moves in with you for a while after the death, because he can't bear to be reminded of what he has lost every day

Either that or you move in with him because leaving his home, his home where he should be happy with his wife and raise a kid, is unthinkable to him

Therapy wasn't really a thing in the 70s, I think, but maybe you are lucky and are able to find him a therapist

You will have to make sure he actually goes, tho

not because he has anything against therapy, but because he is drowning in his depression and doesn’t see the point in getting better

But more likely, you will kind of become his therapist

You do everything you can to be there for him

In the beginning, he cries in your arms nearly every day

But the acute pain that makes him throw up and want to scream forever dulls over time and leaves him void of any energy, hopeless

The two of you are seldom apart in the first few months after his loss

You talk a lot, or rather he talks and you listen

There is no advice you can give to him, no words that can offer any relief for his pain

all you can offer is room for him to talk about his feelings, help in processing his grief and a shoulder to cry and someone to lean on

You cannot lessen his pain; you can only make sure he survives it

You encourage him to write poems about it

He does, and it seems to help him somewhat, even tho he’s sure that these poems would never be published

At some point, it becomes clear that neither of you will move out in foreseeable time

He relies on you to get through the day, and you would never think about abandoning your best friend when he has hit rock bottom

So you make adjustments - you either move or repurpose a room so that both of you get your own bedrooms and all of your stuff fits into the flat

When he starts working again, especially in the beginning, you accompany him in cases, a lot

If you are also part of Scotland Yard, that’s not a problem at all. You simply become part of his team

If not, you mostly join him on cases outside of London because then you can be simply introduced as a consultant

which is a lot better than „this is my friend who keeps me from breaking down and randomly bursting into tears whenever I see a loving couple or a kid“

Cases involving kids/babies are especially triggering to him

You are there with a comforting hand on his back or arm, a quick or long hug, snapping him out of memories and reminding him that he is not alone

Debriefing cases in the evenings over a beer or tea

You being there makes going back to work and simply going back to normal life a lot easier for him

But you pretty much taking the role of a carer takes a bit of a toll on your friendship dynamic

He often feels guilty for burdening you with his grief, taking up so much of your time, and making you give up parts of your life to support him through this

He also feels guilty for not improving, talking to you about the same things over and over again

He requires a lot of reassurance that he isn't a burden, that he is not indebted to you for caring for him, that you do this because he is your best friend and you love him and that you would talk with him about the same thing a thousand times a day if it would help him

Generally, it takes a lot of communication between you two, to not let this change in dynamic ruin your friendship

When he meets Emma Lavenham, that man is lost

He knows that he kind of likes her, but he also feels guilty for it and like he is cheating on his (dead) wife,

prepare for endless conversations along the lines of: " I think I like her. I would like to see her again.... but I can't. It's been only 5 years..., but would she want me to meet new people? I cannot ever see someone else in that way, but why do I feel like that towards her?" and so on

And when he does meet her at that art gallery thing, you feel like you are 15 again, trying to help him navigate his first dating experience

Like, he comes back and tells you everything! You debrief the whole date, untangling his feelings and dissecting every interaction.

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