#i just. cant. make the words go. and im really mad about it

[wander-wren]

this fic is literally going to MURDER ME and leave me for DEAD i swear to GOD this has to be the hardest thing i have ever written and i dont fucking know why because it's like all of my favorite things. but if it was physical i would pitch it off a cliff and then scramble madly after it and pray it came out unscathed. thank you

[bitegore]

getting mental healthcare is really cool, its like asking someone to take a sledgehammer to your self-interest and then saying thank you after because it makes your life moderately easier even though you have to deal with this shit now

[autosarcophagy-avaritia]

i am so productive i cleaned my desk and played tetris nothing bad is ever gonna happen right

[mina-org]

part one - part two - part three (you're here!) - part four - part five- six

simon can't believe how far hes fallen.

Lurking outside high street underwear shops, stealing your phone, worst of all? He’s sipping tea in an overpriced coffee shop, you used to always want to meet him in the place opposite but he didn’t fancy a public indecency charge so he’d let you sit there for while, order drinks for the two of you and wait, when his tea turned told and yours had been drank you usually got a text saying to come over, he didn’t feel like going into town.

Your not even with him explaining that matcha is actually really good and he should try it, no your fawning over johnny and he’s watching his bird. He hopes this is rock bottom but he feels like it’s not.

"lass if I dinnae know better, I'd think ya' was avoiding me" his playful tone doesnt hide the hurt, he wants you to feel bad for ghosting him, and you do. Johnnys never been mean. Never mistreated you, why are you punishing him for Simon’s mistakes?

"im sorry, I know you and simon are close but he really did number on me and I just, I just don't wanna risk bumping into him." he can praticularly smell the the anxiety coming off you.

"Aye he’s been going mad, wants his wee bird back." Johnny says feigning sadness for his mate. in honestly Johnny was enjoying it, you were talking to him, looking at him, while simon gawked at you two from across the road.

you laugh, "no he wants a warm hole." you blurt out, causing Johnny to laugh, he expecting you to cry or something but not be that blunt.

“Lass hes just nae used to-” johnny tries to defend him but you cut him off, frustrated, you were what? a decade younger and knew how to treat people well.

“Used to what? He’s 40.” You snap back, Simon was old enough to know better.

“He’s nae 40 yet hen, and he’s not used to tiptoeing, ya know?” He laughs at you adding years to him, he’s sure Simon is seething but he can’t quite make out his expression

“Tiptoeing?” You question. You can accuse Simon of a lot of stuff but tiptoeing? Not fucking one of them, if stomping on people was an Olympic sport he’d be bringing home a gold medal.

“Yeah like your so sensitive lass and he’s nae really used to it.” Johnny says simply and when your face drops he knows his choice of words could maybe use some work especially when you excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Johnny cant help himself. he can see simon through the window, sipping on his tea as he watches this little pre date. So he calls him up, simon was saying earlier he misses that pretty voice well he actually complained about how much you used to talk at him and how the peace and quiet was actually nice.

However Johnnys an expert in simonisms and that means he miss you and wants you to come back to him, he gets the same treatment, they all do. telling him to be quiet.

when you rejoin the table his phone is face or screen down, speaker pointing towards you, next to a another drink for you.

How sweet of him:)

"had to keep ya here somehow," he explained as he asked how you were doing, you had left the flat so defeated. He hated to see a pretty girl so sad.

his eyes seemingly look pass you though, getting lost out the window. Usually he was attentive maybe he didn’t want to slag off Simon, but he keeps pushing, asking how you’re feeling, what you’ve been doing and though his eyes drift back to the window but you can ignore it, for now.

"I don't know,“ you stare into the drink you stir it, the ice clinking against the glass. “It just hurt and I feel so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper, you look like a kicked puppy and Johnny, Johnny’s staring out the window with a smirk on his face. Does he find it funny? Is he gonna tell Simon? Why would you slag off Simon to his best mate?

Anxiety starts to bubble, and you just wanna leave before you embarrass yourself anymore.

Your gaze follows his out the window, now you don’t have binoculars but that looks a little like Simon, weird. It would look too weird if you were to pull out your phone and zoom in with the camera. You start to feel for your phone but it’s not in your pocket, you must’ve slipped it into one of the bags.

“Johnny do you have the time?” You ask softly and before he can react, you’re flipping over his phone and greeted by Simon’s caller ID. What the fuck?

“Johnny what the fuck? “

“Lass-“ johnny doesn’t have time to concoct a lie, your up and glaring down at him, he’d never seen you angry but it was hot, he just wished it was in different, more come backable circumstances.

“No johnny what the fuck, has Simon been on the phone this entire time?” Your voice cracks and your lips tremble, embarrassed you opened up to him, Simon’s best fucking mate, embarrassed Simon knew how much he hurt

“No I don’t give a shit Simon can go fuck himself and so can you” you cut him off again, he can choke on whatever he was gonna say.

Before johnny can ask for his coffee in a to go cup you’re out the door, rushing home, tears stinging at your eyes once again. You just want to sprint home once you hear johnny belt out your name and you speed up, darting down an alleyway.

You wipe your tears before colliding into a wall you swore wasn’t there on the walk into town, a fleshy, human wall.

Its Simon.

Once again! How perfect .

taglist: @skeletonsucker @supernova2205 @wh0re4-alexademi @grr457 @gh0st-spid3r @sweetlittleblackrose @aceywaycy @mooievis @theadultoedge @cheese-pull @imtherain

[blackeyen2kisses]

pathetic bf!seunghyun (headcannons)

summary: bf!seunghyun who is incredibly down bad for his girlfriend.

an: hello! this is my first fic on this account, im so excited to share it with you. i hope you enjoy <3 (ALSO, please ignore any spelling/grammar errors i didn’t proofread.)

bf!seunghyun who: didn’t care for love/relationships until he met you.

bf!seunghyun who: swears carless whisper by george micheal played in his head when he laid eyes on you for the first time.

bf!seunghyun who: likes to spend his down time making you playlists and/or writing you songs/raps. he likes to communicate through music.

bf!seunghyun who: calls you sweet girl and thinks it fits perfectly. you are his sweet girl. he thinks youre the sweetest, most angelic being hes ever met.

bf!seunghyun who: will agree to just about anything for your sake (“yeah i dont know, i just dont really feel like going out today” he mummered to jiyong, burying himself further into the fluffy cloud that was his bed, dead set on spending his night curled in bed. until you walked into the room. “seunghyun, lets go out tonight, i need to get out of this house.” seunghyun shot out of bed, unraveling himself from the covers and intertwined your hands, “yeah, sweet girl, lets go.” suddenly alive and full of energy. unaware of jiyong snickering behind him.

bf!seunghyun who: genuinely believes he cant go more than an hour without having his hands on you in someway. wether that be his hand in yours, his arm wrapped around your waist, his fingers curled in your hair, or his fingers inside, yes inside the waist of your jeans, resting against the warmth of your skin.

bf!seunghyun who: when you two sleep has to either be little spoon or lay on top of you (while you scratch his back.)

bf!seunghyun who: is only comfortable with you touching him

bf!seunghyun who: literally calls/texts you every chance he gets. in between recordings, while in the bath, while getting his hair done. he’ll text you every thought that crosses his mind. (itll be three in the morning and youll get a text from him like, “i just realized, nothing is ON fire. fire is on THINGS.”)

bf!seunghyun who: does things for you he knows you can do yourself, such as, brushing and drying your hair after a shower, carrying you from place to place in your shared apartment, brushing your teeth, grabbing things that are just out of reach, tieing your shoes, no matter how much you insist you’re perfectly cable. he cant help it; youre his angel.

bf!seunghyun who: genuinely tears up when you get mad at him (you immediately feel horrible and give in.)

bf!seunghyun who: loves to lay his head in your lap while you run your fingers through his hair (he falls asleep immediately.)

bf!seunghyun who: hangs onto every word you say. he’ll remember something you vaguely told him months later. (“hey, sweet girl, i got you one of those sun…sunny…sonny..angels…whatever you call them,” he said when he came home from the store, placing the sonny angel box on your lap, then, planting gentle kisses onto the corners of your lips, your nose, your temple, your eyelids. you smile, wondering how the hell he knew you wanted one. you giggle, placing your hand on his cheek and rubbing your thumb across his soft skin as he leans into your touch, “how’d you know i wanted one?” he looked at you as though the answer was obvious, “you mentioned it when you saw a tiktok video in..may” may was 8 months ago?)

bf!seunghyun who: apologizes by getting on his knees, putting his head in your lap, and kissing your hands profusely. muttering over and over how sorry he is and how he’ll do better.

bf!seunghyun who: follows you around everywhere like a little cat. always hovering over your shoulder. if you guys are sitting on the couch and you get up to get a glass of water, trust, he’ll get up and go with you with a content smile on his face. he has attachment issues.

bf!seunghyun who: when your making out and you pull away, looks at you, breathing all hard, like he physically needs more.

bf!seunghyun who: when he has to travel for work will send you a poem a day. (“hey, sweet girl, you will never be unloved by me. you are too well tangled in my soul; hello, my sweet girl, my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. love you always.”)

bf!seunghyun who: is completely obsessed with you.

[studioeisa]

what the fuKCKENFR IM SO MAD I CANT REBLOG YOUR POSTS OR MSG U ON MY SIDEBLOG RN COS ANOTHER??? HOZIER??? FIC????

(work song next WHHAT WHO SAID THAT)

so full of love (i could barely eat) 🍒 seungcheol x reader.

★ established relationship, pet name ['baby'], inspired by hozier's work song. viv, i know this was supposed to be in response to worship in the bedroom (and not really a serious request), but the thought of cheol x work song did not let me go. a little gift for u. <3 word count: 755.

It’s nearly two in the morning when Seungcheol gets home. 

One of those days, he likes to call it. He had been out of the apartment before the sun rose up, had jumped from one schedule to another with something akin to reckless abandon. Fan meet. Radio show. Practice. Meeting.

When he’s busy, the exhaustion is kept at bay. There’s no time to think about the phantom ache behind his knee, the pesky soreness of his thigh.

But then he walks through the front door and it all comes crashing down on him. Suddenly, he is Atlas, bearing the heavens on his shoulders. 

He toes off his shoes with a soft sigh. Evidence of you is apparent from the entryway. The kitchen light has been left on. The humidifier is spewing one of his favorite scents. A collection of sweet nothings, none of which he thinks he deserves.

Had he even texted you today? Seungcheol isn’t certain. He remembers seeing your texts light up his screen, though. Gentle reminders from morning to evening. 

Don’t forget your vitamins. 

Grab lunch. 

Bundle up. It’s snowing, and your bones are weak to the cold. 

Seungcheol had listened at each turn, whether or not he realized it. A multivitamin from Seungkwan. A sandwich hurriedly eaten on the way to the studio. The scarf you had given him, the one that still faintly smelled like you.

He knows there’s probably food waiting for him in the microwave, knows you’ve likely set aside a plate in anticipation of his late arrival. Seungcheol bypasses it in favor of heading for your shared bedroom. 

Sure enough, you’re already asleep. He’ll realize a little later that you texted about that, too— a message of might be asleep when you get home, I love you— but for now, he only lingers by the doorway as he watches the gentle rise and fall of your chest. 

He feels everything then. The gnaw of guilt. The overwhelming affection. The urge to protect and provide. 

As quietly as he can manage, Seungcheol crosses the room. He can already predict how you’re going to react to him sinking into bed and sliding underneath the covers with you. 

You stir in your sleep at the feeling of Seungcheol snaking his arm around your waist. Despite being half-awake, you have the wits to mumble, “You’re still wearing outside clothes.” 

Bingo. 

Seungcheol knew it, and the thought of that— of correctly predicting what you might do or say— fills him with an odd sense of pride. He doesn’t give voice to it, though, not wanting to rouse you more than he already has. 

“I’ll change.” His voice is a murmur even though there’s no other soul in the apartment besides you two. Something about the early hour and the low light makes him feel like he should tread carefully, like the moment is as fragile as ice on a lake. “Just wanted to hold you for a bit, baby.” 

You grumble something incoherent, the words lost to the way you bury your face into the front of Seungcheol’s shirt. And suddenly Seungcheol can’t help himself. He presses a kiss to the top of your head. Then one to your forehead. Then one to your temple. Then—

“Cheol.” You whine out his name, your tone edged with exhaustion. You never did take kindly to your sleep being interrupted. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he huffs. 

He kisses the tip of your nose for good measure. 

It’s one of those days. Seungcheol is bone-tired, and home late, and he missed you. If he were a stronger man, a better man, he’d let you sleep. Stalk off to eat his microwaved dinner and change into his pajamas so you don’t gripe about dirty sheets in the morning. 

Seungcheol decides: He’s not a good man. And so instead he holds you a little tighter, leaves a couple more kisses across your face, allows his body to let go of the day’s weight. 

After his nth kiss to your face, you let out another low grumble. He’s about to apologize, about to tell you that he’ll finally, finally let off, when you tilt your head up to lazily slot your lips against his. You’re barely coherent, and yet you’re still giving him exactly what he wants needs. 

Soft, sleepy, sweet. His, his, his.

Seungcheol’s eyes flutter close. He makes no move to deepen the kiss, to ask for more than what you can offer. 

In your arms, he feels a little less like Atlas. 

In your arms, he’s just Seungcheol. 

There's nothin' sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She'd give me toothaches just from kissin' me

[starboye]

Kinktober Day 2

starring: rafe cameron x male reader

request: Rafe Cameron disciplining male reader because you were acting all bratty at one of his parties

warnings: smut, fingering, thigh riding, cursing, mentions of drugs, spanking, ass slapping, orgasm denial

authors note: im truly sorry if this story was horrible, i was tired and it was late so you can hate or skip this story if you want to. my apologies

it wasn't your fault you were being so bratty, i mean rafe wasn't paying attentions to you, to busy partying and doing drugs to even notice you, so when rafe saw you acting all stingy he tried to get you to do some drugs with him to but when you shook his hand away from you making him drop the substance on the ground "what the fuck y/n what's your problem" rafe yells looking at you with agitated by you ruining the mood.

"nothing" you blankly say folding your arms across your chest "well it must be somethin' if your knockin' my stuff to the floor and acting all cold" he retorts angrily "whatever rafe how about you go back to getting high" you clap back before getting up and walking to rafes room, him watching you as you walked up the stairs "everybody out" rafe mutters catching the attention of topper "what, why" topper questions "just everyone get the fuck out" rafe yells to the whole party goers.

the music going quiet and everyone making their way to the door, muttering about how lame it was that it was cancelled making rafes jaw tense up knowing that you ruined the vibe of it all, and rafe couldn't go the rest of the night knowing you were mad at him, not because he really cared but because it would ruin his mind trying to figure out what had your panties in a bunch.

once everyone was out of the house rafe stomped to his room where you layed in his bed on your phone "what the fuck was that little stunt you pulled" rafe angrily asks and you give a little scoff to his question "don't making me fucking come over there y/n or so god help me" rafe warns one more time but you still don't answer him, still to mad at him for not paying attention to you the whole night "m'kay don't say i didn't warn you" rafe pinches the bridge of his nose before he drags you toward him and sits you on his lap, your legs straddled across his legs quickly and forcefully.

rafe looks up at you with dark lidded eyes, him still having the buzz of the drugs in his system enough to not care about you questions of what he was doing "since you wanna ruin my night with being bitchy i'm gonna ruin your night to" he whispers in your ear while groping at your ass "now strip f'me" he orders and you reluctantly slowly peel off all your clothes in front of him like a good boy but rafe doesn't follow suit, he stays in his clothes he was wearing since the party began, making you even more embarrassed that you were the only vulnerable one here.

and it only worsened when you saw rafe pull his phone out and prop it up next to him with a full view of you now back on his lap "now ride my leg" rafe demands and when you hesitate rafe lands a hard smack to your ass, jolting you forward to grind your already leaky cock against his roughly padded khaki pants like the slut you were deep down and rafe let you know that with his demeaning words he whispered as you needily grinded on him "that's right good fuckin' slut" rafe laughs at you, some tears dropping from your eyes.

"oh no no no don't cry you brought this onto yourself" rafe coos with a sweet voice but ruder words while cupping your face and you were so close to cumming that you were letting out whimpers and whines "can i cum rafe... please i'll be so good for you" you beg dropping your head on his shoulder "you cum on these pants and ill fuck you till you cant breath" rafe threatens coldy sending shivers down your back "and plus i still have to teach you a long hard lesson" rafe adds.

he sinks his fingers into your mouth while slapping and grabbing your ass with the other, adding to the painful amount of pleasure you were getting even more, your movements becoming jitters across his leg to hold back from cumming, you looked like a desperate puppy at this point, begging for it's owner to love them while slobbering all over rafes fingers, he was getting harder by the second but this wasn't about him it was about teaching you a lesson, a very painful lesson.

he pulled his fingers from your mouth and brought them to your hole, slowly sinking them in as you moan his name out "mm mm keep grinding" he says now thrusting his fingers in and out of you ruthlessly while his other hand slaps your ass over and over, overstimulating you to the point of you just letting out whines and whimpers for him to let you cum but he doesn't budge, just continues fucking you with his fingers.

once he finally got his fill of your sweet needy noises he gave you the okay to let you cum, you looking up at him with tear soaked eyes with your hands gripping his shirt tightly "really" you ask brokenly "yeah go ahead" he coos and you spray your load all over his shirt, angering him a little bit but you've tuckered yourself out to much by now so he lets it pass and you fall onto the bed shivering and shaking.

taglist:@mailmango@spermeboy@ghostking4m@gayaristocrat@addictedtomalepits@staarb0y@crispysoup318@its-ares@gargoylesworld09@kadenvatsune@fuckshft

[mmirx]

AFTERTHOUGHT ⋆⑅˚₊

Who were you if not unremarkable? You had finally come into terms that you are someone who was meant to stay in everyone’s shadow, but not until you met Caleb, or so you thought.

cw/tags: PART 3 of this, university au, non-mc reader, frat guy caleb (but not really important), angst, jealousy, self-loathing (please just lmk if i missed more cw, i just cant identify more as of now)

note: idk what im doing lmao kidding nway, wrote this in one sitting bcs it was the only chance i had after the loooong week i had. alsoooo, i take it back, i might make this longer bcs i haven't explored some parts in the previous chapters. PLUS THANK YOU GUYS FOR READINGGGG!!!

word count: 1.7k

You’re at your breaking point—or at least you were weeks ago. Now, you weren’t even sure what prompted you to fill your schedule to no end; leaving no room for any sort of self-care at all. But, you were adamant in accepting the truth that it was not the answer to the hole that Caleb left you.

Nothing can ever fill the part that he took from you the moment you let him in your life because he wasn’t just any bystander that you knew would leave you. When you thought that you were finally worth being a recipient of one’s genuine attention was the moment you should’ve known that you have once again been defeated by the nature of love itself. He curated a room in your life. One that you thought you were the center of almost letting yourself believe that someone is capable of doing that for you.

But now, you weren’t sure at all, no you were, but for the fact that he wouldn’t do anything that deep for you.

The reason? Well, she’s standing in front of you right now. Eyes filled with worry and hint of anger while refusing to let you speak. However, you knew why, mad at you for cutting your connection with them—not completely—by deactivating your social media accounts, and even going as far as ignoring messages and calls with your ‘previous’ number. But you can’t just disregard your own sake to ‘bring back old times,’ her own words to keep up a dramatic flair.

“What? Like four weeks ago?” she retorted after hearing your reasoning about being busy with the conference. MC was right—it ended a month ago, and you were aware of the fact that you haven’t been with her for more than a month. 

“I know, I know but I took up a new volunteering gig…”you said trying your best to muster up a half lie. It’s true though that you joined a volunteering group, but they haven’t even demanded an hour of your life. How were you supposed to tell her that you’ve been neglecting her because of Caleb? Her literal childhood bestfriend?

You stared at her profoundly, and if you weren’t, you would’ve missed the moment she hesitated to say something. What was that?

“Come with me,” she said in a beat, grabbing your wrist, “don’t try to run away this time, got it?”

“Where–” trying to loosen her grip–“are you taking me?” 

Of course, in her true nature, she ignored you. You knew that you didn’t have a chance to flee this, so like a trolley, you let her drag you in God knows where.

Walking for minutes across the campus didn’t feel as irksome as it once used to be. The sun was also present with wind as its companion. Looking around, you realized that maybe you were too busy trying to distract yourself in a way that your body probably hates you for now. Completely oblivious of the fact that you missed out the times that the sun had waited for you. 

Your optimism didn’t last very long though.

Holding your wrist on one hand and taking her phone out on the other hand, your heart almost jumped out the moment she uttered his name. What in the fresh hell?

You heard how she hissed his name accompanied with insults that were somehow out of character of her because they were said as if she dipped them out personally from hell. 

“MC!” you shouted with eyes unintentionally widening. “Is he coming with us?”

But to no avail, she waved her hand dismissing you as if you. You couldn't help yourself to roll your eyes at her. She was literally insisting to spend time with you a moment ago, and now she’s dismissing you because of him? Well, that sounded bitter of you.

Curiosity growing as they spoke, you were about to ask what they’re talking about but—

“Alright, let’s go,” MC cut you off with no intention of letting you ask questions. It was weird, a moment ago she seemed okay, but she looks pissed right now. You knew that she’s hiding her annoyance, it almost made you laugh, where did her acting skills go?

However, it made you wonder, what happened when you were busy trying to avoid them? Did a ‘progress’ finally take place when you were gone? Maybe Caleb didn’t even notice your absence—he might have been grateful too that there’s one less person to divide MC’s attention from him. If that is so, then it’s high time for you to get a grip and move on.

Your mind wandered to possible scenarios that happened between them during the last few weeks. It makes your stomach turn upside down. As if something has flipped your organs  intentionally to rattle you for being stupid enough to like someone, and you hate it. You’re human and you know you’re bound to fall in love with someone, but at the same, at your bestfriend? Really? Were you even his bestfriend? 

Like a bell, you were again reminded of what you heard weeks ago.

No, you weren’t his bestfriend, just a mere someone he didn’t even know how he managed to tolerate.

I don't even know how I managed to put up with her.

What you hated even more is that if he really did feel that way, why act as if you’ve meant something bigger in his life? As if you were a significant chapter in his life. As if one that he needed to make sure to be appreciated by himself and every person in the story of his.

Busy with your inner monologue—about the sole reason you ended up with an unhealthy way of coping in life healthy for the system that exploits you but not for your own body—you didn’t realize where you were now.

Looking around, it’s the hidden part of the campus where you used to frequent with the two of them. You can feel it—something good isn’t about to happen. One that you spent weeks trying to ward off.

“MC…” you called her attention, noticing how busy she was trying to spot something, “please tell me he’s not here.” 

You wanted her to lie because at least that’d bring you comfort even for a moment. The air suddenly felt like it was meant to bring suffocation. Your hands torn between emitting heat to ward off the cold that the weather brought or bringing a feeling of dampness with sweat that you’d always hated. Either way, you felt revulsion towards anything at the moment.

MC was looking at you as if she was silently asking for your forgiveness. Her eyes trying to tell a code that you couldn’t decipher. But you couldn't muster any kind words, at least not until she puts her plea for forgiveness in words. Then—

A voice came from behind you. One that you haven’t heard for weeks calling your name like a prayer. At that moment, you hated how your body responded to his call. His eyes wandered on you as if finally making up for the moments that he’d been deprived of the privilege of setting eyes on it.

It took all your strength to not shift away your gaze from him. 

But you had to face MC, “What’s this?” you asked laced with rage rather than confusion while pointing at Caleb. “And I thought, it was you actually wanting us to spend time together.”

“Well, for starters, I don’t see an issue with me bringing you here to see Caleb? You’ve been avoiding us, and now, you’re mad?”

“I wasn’t but I certainly am now!”

“It was my idea,” Caleb interjected, “don’t be mad at her, she wasn’t at fault.”

Still protecting her? 

“No, I’m not done with her. MC, trying to be a good samaritan?” your voice dripped with sarcasm. “Helping us make up? If we were thirteen, that would be cute, but for fuck’s sake we’re pushing mid-twenties, so it’s just plain stupid.”

You didn’t miss how her eyes flickered with pain and if your heart was’t throbbing with anger right now, you would’ve reached out her hands to apologize. But how can you, in this state, think rationally?

“I’m sorry. I understand your anger but I needed to.” You hated how even in moments like this, she’ll be the ever-so-nice person that she is. “I’m leaving, please, talk.”

With that, you didn’t try to stop her because what’s the point in trying? This was their plan. 

“Don’t blame her, I insisted on her doing this,” Caleb said, taking you out of your own mind. It infuriated you because what is he truly planning to get from this?

He didn’t see you as someone who’s worthy of his affection. He made that clear when you heard him talking with his friends. That was enough to repel you from his life. Plus the fact that you have been slipping away from him.

What you couldn’t put your fingers on right now is why does it feel like his gaze at you in this moment is trying to tell you a different story?

“You’re avoiding me,” he said, more of an accusement than a statement. 

“If I am?” you tested him. Suddenly, you were back with your habit of biting the inside of your mouth when you’re nervous. Little did you know, he noticed that, because he knows you as if he’d study the book of your life—wanting to be a part of it in a way where he’ll never be written out.

“Why?” he begged, voice dripping with desperation that made your skin crawl. “Tell me what I did.” 

“I’d beg heaven just for you to forgive me.” You averted your gaze from his as you pondered how you hated how convincing he sounded. You hated every moment of it because all of a sudden you were back where you were a few months ago. Silently cursing yourself for being weak from everything that he does, you didn’t get a chance to speak at all.

Missing every wave of emotions on his face, you kept your mouth shut, not knowing what to say because it all felt unreal.

“Anything, just don’t tell me you’re with someone.”

What?

tag(s): @justpassingdontworry @jadeymeciela @i-messed-up-big-time @rxelarailuj @albatrossblues

[luvyeni]

sunoo really wants to talk , but you can’t be bothered to hear him.

𝓲𝓲 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒𓈒 ( 김선우 x fem!reader ) ─── ❛ genre ⸝⸝ smut. content warning. manipulation, gaslighting , reader is not a good person, unprotected sex, language word count. 0.7k 「 req? ⦂ yes/no 」 library  !

𝕼 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒 yeni’s note .ᐟ i like when reader is being the manipulator and not the one being manipulated..🫣

you roll your eyes for the umpteenth time as you listen to him complain. did he make good arguments? you wouldn’t know , you blocked him out 4 points ago.

“see look, you aren’t even listening to me.” sunoo frustrated; ran his hands through his hair. “you never listen to me.” he said. “because you’re talking in circles and it’s annoying.” you didn’t even bother looking up from your phone. “im not talking in circles , im talking about the way you treat me and how it’s unfair.” he said , you finally looked up. “unfair?” you said.

“yes unfair.” he said. “and how is it unfair?” he said. “well for starters , you’re constantly ignore me , you’re always going out with your friends , doing god knows what , with god knows who , leaving me worried here.” he said. “and your phone , god that stupid phone , your face is always in your phone — i give you all the attention you want , but you don’t show me any affection , not even the slightest bit of affection.”

he watched the expression on your face change; had you finally realized how bad you’ve treated him? would this change everything? “i see.” you said , standing up. “have a cheated on?” you asked.

“h-huh?” he asked. “well not physically , but you’re always texting guys — they’re friends.” you interrupted him. “you’re bitching and complaining about me being on my phone or going out with friends , accusing me of cheating.” he tried to defend himself. “i-i never said — but you implied it.” you said. “the affection you show me is suffocating , you’re so clingy , do i not hug and kiss you?” he gulped. “when i go out with my friends you’re always calling and whining when i will be home.”

“i just want you to be safe.” he said and you scoffed. “and i want a boyfriend who doesn’t nag me like he’s my fucking mother.” your voice tone changing. “i didn’t mean to upset you.” he said , maybe this was his fault , he shouldn't have brought it up , now you’re mad at him , and he feels nad . “i just want to work on us , i love you and i want you to be happy to be with me.”

you smirked , you walked over to the bed where he was sitting, bringing your hand to his cheek caressing it. “you want me to be happy?” he looked up at your , his eyes wet , he was close to tears. “y-yeah.” he said , his voice weary. “then stop complaining.” you said. “be my boyfriend and not my father.” you climbed into his lap. “stop bitching about the things i don’t do , and be happy about the things i do actually do.”

it always ended like this; and it was partially his fault — he let you do this because he was addicted to you by and you knew he could complain if he was fucked dumb underneath you. “y-yn.” he moaned as you moved your hips back and forth , he had already cum 3 times before and you were still going. “i ca-cant , i’ve cum already.” he whined , those tears that were once full of sadness , now streaming down his face because you were fucking him so well. “to-too much.”

“you cant even not complain when you’re being fuck.” you hissed , he whined as your cunt clenched around him , he was fuck well past his limits , normally you two only went one round so he wasn’t used to it. “ba-baby , what if i eat you out , hm.” he whimpered. “ma-make you cum with my mouth?” he gasped as he felt himself about to cum again. “pl-please i don’t think i can cum again.” he said , his cock twitching. “cum for me.”

he let out a cry as he came , shooting ropes of his cum into your cunt. “fu-fuck , fuck i’m cumming.” you gasped , legs twitching as you finished. he let out a huff , maybe this would calm you down , the argument was far from his mind and that’s exactly what you wanted , for him to shut up — and it works every single time. “i’m not done.” you said , he couldn’t handle cumming anymore. “don’t bitch , i’ll give your cock a rest.” you tapped his tear stained cheeks. “let’s see how many i can get out with this pretty mouth of yours.”

“put it to a better use than fucking nagging me.”

©️LUVYENI

[drewsprincessy]

loving you was hard.

warnings: angst, anxiety, anger, comfort, arguing, crying, lmk if i missed any

summary: rafe and reader are in love, but rafe struggles to accept it, he doesnt believe in love.

part one

rafe cameron x female reader.

you had fallen for rafe, hard. it started off with stealing glances at each other every so often, then it escalated to him asking for your number. you two talked every night, dusk til dawn until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. you were the only person he was gentle with, the only one he would give affection to, and even crack a smile with.

he caught himself re-reading your texts and smiling at them, going through your insta posts, checking your following, checking your location, and checking when you were last online.

he thought he just needed a quick hookup, and that was all. but no. the way you smile at him and your dimple pokes through your cheek, or maybe its the way your eyes light up when your excited about something.

he doesnt know what it is, but he cant fall in love. your not important, its just all in his head.

he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands as he thinks, he regains his composure, shaking his head to try and get rid of the thought. he lets out a long breath, and he stands up. he goes to smoke some weed.

he stops answering your calls, and even stops responding all together. he cant fall in love, he's not fit for a relationship. right?

your a mess. you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt the way that he ghosted you out of nowhere. but i mean you cant be mad, because your still just a hookup for him. right?

i mean you thought it'd be different because hes never met up with a girl more than once, you guys have even been on real dates. not just the ones where you have sex and not talk for another 2 weeks. you two had gotten to really know each other.

you were just confused, and hurt. you decided you were gonna try to let it go. try and move on, because theres always other men out there.

~

2 weeks pass

you were at home laying in your bed, you just had on a comfy tee shirt, and some yoga shorts.

you had been scrolling thru your phone, giggling at a video you seen on tiktok. you clicked on the comments and scrolled thru them, and you were giggling until a message popped up at the top of your screen. from rafe; your smile faintly drops as you click on the message

-

imessage:

rafe: been thinking about you. um, im really sorry for ditchin you n' shit. i just been going thru stuff and didnt wanna take it out on you. im sorry alright?

y/n: its okay rafe, i understand. call if you need anything. okay?

you were so understanding, and forgiving. even with the half ass apology he gave you, you still forgave him.

-

over the next few weeks, you and rafe start going out again, he fell more and more in love with you, and you felt the same about him. he had enough of it. he couldnt be falling for you.

he was high off drugs, and his breath reeked of alcohol. he was stumbling and could barely walk. there were crowds of people around him at the party he attended to.

you had also been there with rafe, but went off somewhere with kiara and sarah. you decided the topic of conversation was boring, and excused yourself with a "ill be right back." and went to find him.

he had went off into a room with some random chick, they were making out and her clothes were half off. you had almost stumbled on your feet when you walked in, your eyes had immediately began brimming with tears. to save yourself the embarrassment you walk off, quickly as possible. trying to get the hell out of there.

rafe comes outside to where you had walked off to, he immediately catches up to you since his legs were longer, and grabs your arm "whats your problem..why are you crying?" he says, trying not to slur his words

you decide, fuck it. he doesnt care anyway. "your my problem rafe. i fucking love you, i have for a long time. and you lead me on and act like you love me the same way, but then i find you about to hookup with some random girl, that you dont even know! like i dont even exist rafe, and im gonna be honest. that shit HURTS! im so sick of this, im sick of you, and your bullshit excuses, your half ass apologies. FUCK YOU!"

rafe feels a pang of guilt in his chest, even thru the alcohol and drugs. he still manages to muster up some excuse, hes trying to hide the way he feels. "i mean..y/n. what did you expect? i told you what the hell u were gettin into. i dont gain.. feelings. so quit being a damn crybaby"

it starts to rain, and you storm off, even when he yells your name, telling u to come back you dont listen. you kick your heels off, and walk all the way home in the pouring rain.

once u get home, you delete his number, and cry yourself to sleep.

he tries to act as if he doesnt care, he drinks until he passes out.

~

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓭

[schlattslonghairytoes]

omg wait i just sent in the baby it’s cold outside request and im now realizing that YOU PLANTEF THE SEED IN MY BRAIN WITH YOUR HCS WHEN I CATCH YOU!!

but if you don’t mind could you please go more into depth with that idea pls pls pls

the christmas spirit

you were sat on your sofa watching you boyfriends newest podcast episode, you were sorting through your own footage when you hear him talk about making a christmas album

now you knew he could sing, but an album worried you, he was no sinatra. so you decided to call him up and see what he was thinking

you clicked on his contact and began calling "jayjay😏" after 5 rings you really considered giving up, but you finally saw the word connecting

you again considered hanging up when he answered the phone looking like this.

"what." he groaned it a low pitched voice, you giggled before realizing what time it was by him

"jay why were you sleeping at five P.M" you squinted your eyes at him

"im tired." he deadpanned. you sighed before laughing again at his mad face, before you could speak he began to stretch and the angle where he dropped his phone gave you a full view of his beautiful body.

"do you know hot you are?" you ask admiring your boyfriend.

"ill hang up on you, slut." he never did like compliments.

"brat, anyways." you rolled your eyes "i just finished watching chuckle, you looked very cute, but what was this about a christmas album?"

his face lit up "i forgot to tell you! okay so remember my way, well i know you remember it but you get it, i wanted a new project to focus on so im going to make a christmas album!"

schlatt found it very hard to focus on one thing for a prolonged period of time, but he always loved singing so you believed this would be good for him.

"babe and how are you gonna do that?" you questioned, he began to pout as he walked to his bathroom and set down his phone on the counter

"what you dont beweve in me?" he asked in a weird baby voice, while alos having a mouth full of toothpaste

"gross. no of course i do, but i mean your gonna need a producer, a person to re-write the music so you can own it, a vocal coach, how much is this gonna cost you?" you voiced your concerns

"not as much as ill make from it" he laughed

"ugh i hate you" a sigh escaped you but he persisted

"and one more thing.. i want you to be in it."

-if there is one thing you knew about yourself, it was that you were not about to be one of those youtubers who started making shitty music

-so when i tell you it took a long time to get schlatt to convince you to be on the album, it took months

-but when you eventually came around schlatt was ecstatic

-and honestly you were kinda excited too, you would get to see your boyfriend after not seeing him for over a month

-and with this album drop, you both agreed it would basically be your own version of a hard launch

-you wanted to pick songs that would compliment both of your voices, but also make it pretty clear you were more then just friends

-you chose santa baby and baby its cold outside, but schlatt added another, your favorite song, something stupid by frank and nancy sinatra

-you were so excited to see him that the thought of having to sing that well didnt even cross your mind

-but you boarded your flight to LA without second thought, excited to see your favorite boy when you landed

schlatt fucking hates Los Angeles, its hot, the people suck ass, theres always traffic, and right now, the fact that your not with him is driving him insane.

your flight should be landing any minute, and hes sitting in an airport trying to hide and make sure no one recognizes him.

the reason that becoming increasingly difficult is because fucking jack manifold, tom simons, and harry tornado (average harry), waltz off the plane, into the airport, in los angeles.

where everyone is always looking for someone to recognize.

schlatt is hiding twenty feet away from them, but hes already gotten noticed four times, the man cant catch a break.

he just wants to see his girlfriend, not interact with his fuckass fans

that fact that your relationship was private didnt help, he would one hundred percent makeout with you in the middle of the airport, but now that you have planned your hardlaunch he has to contain himself.

harry and jack were taking a picture with a fan, and tom was pissing as usual when schlatt finally saw you

he launched himself up and flailed his arms around like a clown to you, when you saw him you bolted across the floor and threw your bags at harry, who fell over from the force.

like flat on his ass.

you ran and jumped your man “i missed you so much baby” you laughed

“there is a group of teenage girls to your left that have their phones out, i love you so fucking much but save it for the bnb.” he smiled down at you

you giggled and looked over at the six girls, who were activley ignoring harry and tom who were awkwardly standing by them

"holy fucking shit im your biggest fan, please please please can i get a picture with you ive been watching you since i was fucking ten." one girl yelled

"kezia shut the hell up your gonna scare her away." another slapped her

"alanna you dont understand." she wailed

"you look alot like our art teacher" another added

"renn arent you a patron of her podcast?" holy fuck there were so many of them

they all began yelling over eachother and fan girling over you, "do you guys want a picture, or we can make a tiktok or something, up to you guys." you said politely

"can i be in it?" harry asked quietly

"um, sorry, who are you?" tom and jack started hysterically laughing and slapping harry

you guys ended up making a funny tiktok in the middle of LAX and they told you they were all friends because of an art class they have together.

after you all said our goodbyes you all loaded into ted's truck that schlatt was borrowing to haul you all around

you got in the passenger seat as schlatt went over the plan for the week

"okay, we have an airbnb for all of us, but two of you have to share a room, theres three in total. so jack tom and harry two of you will have to be sharing a bed, no homo in my airbnb do ya' hear me?"

they all burst out laughing and agree to schlatts terms

"okay, today once all of you are back at the bnb, im gonna head to the studio to record my solo songs, tommora' im recording with tom and jack, harry you can tag along or whatever, wednesday me and you are together"

he rested his hand on your thigh as he looked at you, his eyes full of stars, looking at you as if you had hung them

"then Thursday, me ludwig, quackity and theo are gonna be down there, the rest of the week is scheduled incase we need to re-record anything or just have fun, everyone undertand?"

he squeezed your thigh as he drove, eyes locked on you

"eyes on the road buddy" you pushed his head foward and sat back in your seat admiring you boyfriend as your friends wrestled in the back.

"harry cut it out, tom stop touching his bum or whatever you britsh fucks call it. youre being gay man, what did i say about that." schlatt jokes, he told you privately that he was bisexual so you knew his jokes were simply just jokes

you watched him as he yelled at the monkeys in the back seat and all you could think is how good of a dad hes going to be, you've spoke about kids before, and your both on the same page which is a huge relief.

you thought about what features your kids would get from him, and god you hoped it was his nose, you loved his nose.

"can ya' stop thinking so hard i swear i can hear your thought." he laughed as he stopped at a red light, looking over to you again

"i just love you so much." you laughed

"ew mom and dad are gonna fuck!" tom gagged

"get a room you perverts" harry lent over the middle console and made smooching noises, schlatt grabbed his face and pushed him back into his seat.

"this is gonna be a long fucking week, im gonna kill myself i swear." schlatt scoffed

"take me with you then" you sighed and slouched into your seat.

day one. (six days remaining)

you woke up with schlatts arms wrapped around your waist, good start.

you both woke up early so you could get breakfast for you and your kids, as you walked up the streets of LA all you could think about is how you want to spend the rest of your life with this man.

"penny for your thoughts?" he laughed, but was one of his calm laughs that was so genuine and unforced

"just love you, love us y'know? i wanna have a big house, a cat, maybe a dog, some little you's running around, i just cant wait to move in with you next month"

"if you say anything like that again ill fuck you right here. dont test me, im gonna have to walk around witha' boner now you whore"

your laugh escaped you and you had to bend over and stop walking as you look up at your now tomoato colored boyfriend.

"c'mon keep it moving." he gunted, a small smiled appearing on his stone cold face.

you ate breakfast together then made your way back to the bnb to deliver food to your "kiddos", soon after they all left for the studio so you decided to start a little project of your own, a suprise one

since schlatt was going to hard launch your realationship through something he loved, you decided you'd do the same

a little video about the love of your life

day two (five days remaining)

you and schlatt repeated the same routine in the morning, you went and got breakfast, went back the bnb, got changed and finally left for the studio

on your walk there schlatt warned you about the homeless person right infront of the studio

"no im so serious, he actually tried to stab me two days ago, and when i finaly got away from him he started yelling how he could take me, and not in a fight. let me tell you, he was not my type."

you both walked into the studio to be met by a italian man named David, but it was pronounced daviday.

he directed you both to a booth were you were instructed to drink tea and blow bubbles into a cup

"babe im starting to get nervous, if i fuck up, or have a voice crack, and you laugh at me. so help me god im breaking up with you" you told him

"lemme tell you what happened yesterday" he sat down and began drinking his tea. "i let harry sing one line on jingle bells and his voice went up and octave and cracked. it was so funny holy shit, i have to get that recording."

you both contiuned talking about the recording process so far, until david told you he was ready to begin, starting with baby its cold outside and you were gonna do a full run through no matter the mistakes.

the music counted in and you started off the song "i really cant stay" you sang. then your boyfriend came in with "but baby, its cold outside" and your eyes widened at how good he sounded

you went through the full thing and after the last line you laughed until you heard davids voice, "both of you, that was shit, do it again."

schlatt didnt even seem fazed by this. holy fuck you were in for a long day.

once david was semi happy with that song you moved onto something stupid, and that one went by much faster.

but the song you were dreading most was next, mostly cause you had to carry the whole song

schlatt started off the ong with the iconic bu-bum, bu-bum' when your voice came in "santa, baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me, been an awful good girl."

as you sang your eyes looked up at him an winked before you focused on singing again.

schlatt continued through the song, but the moment you were done, he scurred off to the bathroom while you did certain lines and verses over and over

when he came back, his face was significantly redder, but you just laughed and moved on, too focused on perfecting your song

you had been recording for over 12 hours now, both of you exhausted.

when you were finally done it was two am.

you called an uber and headed back to the bnb

as you fell asleep on schlatts chest, all you could think about was how you couldnt wait to upload the album, and finally live with the love of your life.

[squiddy-god]

If you ever write manhandling hcs or even a couple thoughts for Wuwa Geshulin or Jiyan.. I would be so grateful 🥺🙏💕

The way I stopped playing genshin when i saw this and started writing immediately because im lowkey obsessed with genshu lin like,,,his dark circles and bad personality have captivated me. I'm also very very obsessed with calcharo because he is the reason i started playing this game, but jiyan,,,augh genuinely wuwa needs to stop making men that are just so,,,so good,,, this assumes that genshu lin is like still living (i haven't gotten that far in the story) ♥︎REQUEST OPEN♥︎

Cw : manhandling obviously, possessiveness, jealousy, war mention, brief mention of canon typical violence, inappropriate touching of tacet mark, inappropriate use of electro,dry humping, overstim (genshu lin), prone bone, dare i say…jiyan Diphallia teehee, dragon rut (sue me) gn reader, all genders and sexes welcome reader is not specified to be rover, always implied chubby reader

Genshu lin 

Augh him-

Ok so i think that when he manhandles you it is totally on purpose

Genshu lin is very strong physically, as expected of a former general,, but he has the world's meanest manhandling streak in him

Honestly there aren't a lot of times he's not manhandling you 

I feel that there is a sort of deep seeded inferiority complex and a lot of that stems from his failure as former general and rivalry with jiyan, this however tends to bleed into other areas, causing there to be a harsh spike in jealousy for a man who is already on the jealous side 

What really gets him going is when someone shamelessly hits on you, not an often occurrence but it happens mostly on the off chance he isn't breathing down your neck 

Watching the other person flirt to their best attempt flares a possessiveness inside of genshu lin that has one of his hands gripping your hip as he quite literally drags you away 

The force makes you stumble and you realize that his previous good mood is gone

He isn't mad at you, assuming that you shut the other person down pretty immediately 

He loves to overstimulate you, hand on your sternum using his strength to keep you pinned down while he toys with you, constantly reminding you that he knows you can take it, take more, take as much as he gives until you are a shaking mess in his arms

And inevitably you are a shaking mess, chest heaving as the pressure from his palm finally lets up and admires his work, only for the real fun to begin- flipping your body onto your stomach and gripping the back of your thighs to squish them roughly in appreciation, admiring the soft plush feel in his rough hands, calloused from hardship 

Ounces he's had his fill of your thighs one hands presses roughly at the base of your spine traveling up the curve of your arched back until he can grip your jaw and turn you just enough to look at him

Its like genshu lin was made for manhandling because he seem to naturally be more on the rough side, from the way his scared lips press against you to roughly suck hickeys, to the way his hands grope and twist you, hold you against him, pin you down, you'd think it was a sparring match if it wasn't for the delicious press of his hard cock against you 

And for him to know that you like it? that you enjoy the rough way he handles you? Honestly it makes him worse, teasing you about how you cant be whining that its “too much” already, because he knows that you like it when he punctuates his words with more harsh thrust, another tug, another squelch- 

Jiyan 

Oh this sweet man 

When jiyan man handles you it's unintentional and he feels quite bad after 

Even when you tell him that you like when he just manhandles you, he's hesitant. He likes to be gentle, to spare you the harshness of war and death, regardless of your background it's a habit of his to feel the need to shoulder these burdens 

Like i said he doesn't mean to manhandle you- but the comfort of your presence, your embrace, combined with the long periods of time spend on the front lines means he often forgets his strength- eyes snapping to attention when he hears the noise you let out as he pulls you into him- because there is a force behind it, his hands grip you tight and he pulls you

He's honestly such husband material 

He has a habit of almost trapping you against him, be it against counters or simply keeping you pinned in his embrace, jiyan becomes rather touch starved during his time away and tries to soak in as much touch as he can 

He really doesn't realize in the moment how rough he gets, the way he sucks at your neck as he uses his body to pin yours against the wall of his (rarely used) home

Its an effortless move, his knee nudging your legs apart just enough so that he can gather you in his arms to press you further against the wall 

Its times like this that he seems to show off his strength 

The way his every movement doesn't even seem to faze him because to him you truly feel so pliant in his hands, a ragdoll as he slings one of your legs over his hip and allows his hands to hold you as much as he wants 

When he sees the light bruising his fingers left from the grip on your stomach a wave of shame floods him at the realization that he may have gotten slightly carried away pounding into you 

But fret not for there are times the general decides to indulge both you and himself, after much reassurance that you can handle it, that it will be fine he decides to give in and handle you roughly, a look of tender concern still lingers in his eyes but he also cant deny that being able to grope and grab at your soft body flares his instincts and makes him incredibly hard. 

His rut is hard, being so pent up and all but refusing to take leave means he end up become more irritable and aggressive, and when he is finally forced to take leave he loses himself the second you tell him he dosnt have to be gentle with you

Two dicks two dicks two dicks two dic- 

Ok but seriously the first time you had sex with him was,,,something, because imagine if you will, your peacefully making out with him, hes hard as a rock because physical touch is not his forte (hahah im so funny) and when you glance down you gulp because daymn…a warning would be nice there general

Your slightly relieved when he begins to tug down his pants, his first cock springing free- dont get me wrong you were still mourning the loss of your ability to walk but, this was manageable. 

Your jaw absolutely drops when he pushes his pants down further and the second cock springs free- oh …oh no ;) 

Calcharo 

Oh i need him, i need him desperate and panting like a dog tbh

Calcharo is another that forgets his own strength, job after job leaving him not only grumpy but also forgetting that he's strong- strong enough to pull you into his embrace and here the little wheeze you let out

Strong enough to grab and squish your cheeks in his calloused hands while he grinds his hips against you 

He hasn't even taken his clothes off, he’s nasty and sweaty but he's just so desperate to get any part of you

Prying that out of his mouth is impossible tho, he is huffing and panting in your ear before squishing your face for another rough kiss

One thing leads to another and he finally cant take just humping himself against you…grabbing your thighs and pushing them apart while you whine that he should shower first-or that he needs to slow down he's instead nipping at your neck and pushing you further into whatever surface he has you against

He usually isn't so desperate but he's grown used to your touch, used to you, so after being away longer than unusual on a job he is down right ravenous for whatever he can get. 

That isn't to say he doesn't manhandle you at other times, he is rough by nature so its quite often that he finds himself pulling or moving you in a way that could be considered manhandling, but it is just worse when you catch him in a mood where he feels desperate

Getting him to admit that he feels this way is just about impossible but you can tell with the way he kisses you, the way he buries his head in the crook of your neck, the way his hands roam and cant seem to get enough of you 

His brows are knit together in the same aggravated way they always seem to be, but his lips are parted and the way he 

Please i need him so bad 

[azumasoroshi]

losing my fucking mind over amalgamate

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34729489/chapters/86472166 it wont embed properly but woe amalgamate link be upon you. read this fic now (by @amalgamateofficial)

i cant believe i only found this fic because i was learning about fucking hydraulic presses in physics and it made me want to lightly skim the drv3 fandom again. like i wasnt planning on getting back into it and i was just gonna read like 2 fics and then dip

and then i happened to read the 'who the fuck is junko enoshima' fic and i was like oh i like this dynamic! platonic or romantic this is FUNNY

like there's something so addicting about two motherfuckers that hate each other (but hate the killing game more) intending to sort of kill each other (in short) but due to Last Minute Complications instead being stuck inside a robot made for one person trying to confuse people into thinking they killed each other while also being half poisoned and half delirious. like only in fucking danganronpa could this ever be a scenario HAHA

there was a reason i loved the fifth trial back in my drv3 phase at vaguely some point in high school the most...i was so mad that shuichi solved it anyway and didnt catch on until the very end and i was like aughhhh this is so stupid

but looking back on it now it's really just a by the books tragedy of character because kaito encouraged shuichi to pursue the truth no matter what!!! so of course a plan hinging on shuichi not figuring out the whole truth would be doomed from the start (and it being implied that kokichi had been planning to use shuichi instead of kaito for the plan...oof)

like imagine kaito panicking in the robot all alone frantically flipping through the pages and being torn between being SO proud of shuichi and SO scared that kokichi's death will have been for nothing, all while ACTIVELY COUGHING UP BLOOD AND DYING and having been POISONED and SHOT and stuck in bathroom

what a chad...

anyway this fic is just hands down the best fucking execution of the death bestie hangar that i've ever FUCKING seen and i literally spent all of yesterday searching up 'exisal hangar' and finding every fucking fic i could

i was rambling about it this morning because i spent like from 10pm to 6am doing literally nothing but reading and i had class at 8 so when i woke up at 7 i was absolutely losing it

like. you need to understand the process of reading this fic was one of THE MOST stressful experiences ive ever had reading ANYTHING. ive mentioned in other posts that ill like gasp or grab my chest victorian style if im shocked enough but with this one i was straight up panting for breath like my heart was beating SO fast

as a fellow writer i am NOT very good at maintaining tension throughout the story so to see it done so masterfully over the course of 470k words is just absolutely insane to me!! like it's never so much that i glazed out or had to walk away, i always always always needed to get straight back to reading

this was like. if you know me you know that april 23rd (shizaya fanfic) absolutely crushed my soul and i consider it one of the best tragedies ive ever read but i would never want to read it again for my own sanity. this is like. the opposite??? it turned this tragedy that already made me sad into this DESPERATE, clawing fight to make it NOT a tragedy and i think that really moved me more than anything

i really didn't know if they were going to survive by the end. i didn't know how closely the story adhered to canon, i only rewatched the main points of case 5 in canon but i didn't remember a single thing that happened afterwards other than tsumugi doing her whole evil cosplay shtick and that fact made me SO unbelievably stressed out for everyone!! i didnt know about the flashback lights or anything, and the exceedingly clever way the author utilized them to probably even greater effect in amalgamate honestly killed me

and oh my god the characterization. kokichi, kaito, maki, shuichi, hell i dont even like himiko but they were all done SO well, and even tsumugi i found myself interested in because well maybe the author decided to change up the canon and make her NOT the mastermind right??? i think the playing with expectations worked really well because at some points you couldnt be sure if the fic really would stick to canon or not

i cant believe a dr fic made me like himiko how could you do this to me i disliked her even before joseph anderson

but yeah not only were the characterizations amazing but their relationships as well were so nuanced and complex but they all made sense!!! i the new ones forged by their new situation felt really well earned due to how well they were developed and contextualized within the story in spite of prior events and just aughghhghgsh. kokichi and kaito especially, obviously, their relationship is just masterfully developed from where they started in canon to the end. maki really really shined as a character and like i kinda passively liked her in canon like she was alright but she really really shines in this fic, and SHUICHI oh my god he's so well done

i adore the fact that kaito is the protagonist view instead of shuichi (although the amalgamate oneshot from shuichi's pov is also very good and you should read it) because kaito has such an interesting perspective and like he's the Guardian, the Support, the Hero, the Mentor but the way the author really pulls him apart and flays open all his weaknesses and bluffing and insecurities amazes me!! he's NOT the analyst, he doesn't immediately understand every hint kokichi gives him which honestly sent my stress levels through the roof but knowing kokichi had enough faith in him to give those signals to HIM is just. augh. he and kokichi are just these broken battered beasts of determination throughout the fic (fitting, since the title is an undertale reference) that i really can't help but admire

(spoilers under the cut) but yeah you should read this if you havent and even remotely like the case 5+ cast. preferably not in one 8 hour sitting though like stand up drink water or something relax your sympathetic nervous system lmfao

like. i can't stop thinking about it. the moment i woke up in a cold sweat (after having some vague killing game related dream) i was like holy shit i need to make sure kokichi's alive (i stopped halfway through chapter 20) and i KNEW he was in a coma and i KNOW from the author's notes that the story is supposed to end happily but as i was going to the bus stop it felt like my head was spinning and i just couldn't get it out of my head like what if it's all a lie what if Kokichi is going to die what if he doesn't survive and like. jesus. maybe it was the one hour of sleep but i was so scared

because it was a KILLING GAME because it's hope and despair and maybe everyone is actually secretly out to get you and all of this is recorded and it's just. maybe it's the sleep deprivation but the ability to send the audience themselves into a mental state at least slightly similar to the characters is just insane to me

i am a very analytic reader!!! im like lol look at this trope being used, ooh that dialogue conveyed the emotion very effectively, ooh that was definitely foreshadowing of some sort, wow that sure is a convenient plot device, ooh that's an interesting incitement of conflict they used right there and because of it i tend not to get too emotionally invested in whatever i'm reading because i think from the writer's perspective. NOT THIS FIC I WAS ALONG FOR THE RIDE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE and i had NO idea what was going to happen and it scared the SHIT out of me because i wanted everyone to live so so badly but i didnt know which characters to really trust and that again is another layer of putting you in the character's shoes and it's so SMART UGH

oh and before i forget. i didnt even remember what happened in case 4 either. but gonta and miu continually being brought up and having such a tangible presence in the story was SO GOOD i love CONSEQUENCES

anyway yeah here are my initial thoughts that i managed to cobble together mostly into this post yahoo

i will be drawing fanart out of respect and a mild obsession. author if you see this i am on my hands and knees your writing is so good thank you for this experience

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Night calls | Various Characters x GN!Reader |

Summary: After a breakup they call you at night.

Warnings: ANGST - Mentions of cheating - AIB and Squid Game - Drinking -

Chishiya

Chishiya looks down at his phone. Your number and name still saved. Even after months. He knows he should move on. After all he was the one who ended things with you. He was not sure why, things were going fine. Maybe that did scare him ? That he was starting to feel something new, out of his control...

He finally gives in and press "call" however his heart falls as he listens to what its a ringtone of have being blocked.

He looks at the dark screen, his reflection almost mocking him. You moved on or at least did take the first steps to get him out from your life.

Arisu

The rain falls against his window as he goes to see the different pictures of you and him. A sniffle gets out from him and before thinking much of it he calls you he is suprised when your sleepy voice responds but says nothing afraid you will notice its him.

"...Arisu?"

There is so much he wants to say but at the end he is a coward. He hangs up before you can say his name again now hugging his pillow as tears fall down.

Niragi

He never did mean these words. Or the fight itself. But he was feeling...well not his usual confident self. He was once again that bullied teen with the need to be alone. Too scared to accept love or friendship. He does not know why he called your love a work of pity or how he dismissed all your calls and atempts to contact him after the first weeks.

Now he is the one crawling and begging as he listens to your phone ring but you never pick up. He wonders if you moved on or if you found someone who is not broken like him. Someone who wont take your love for granted.

Sangwoo

He knows he ruined it. He knows you have all the right to be mad at him and find someone better. Someone who does not run and hide his feelings. Someone who does not break your confidence and makes you feel less.

But he was never a fair Man and after some wine he is calling you.

"You really have some nerves calling me" your tone its cold, nothing like the sweet voice and calm one he was used to hear.

He takes a deep breath trying to find the words, the correct ones for you to reconsider coming back to him.

But seconds pass and he has nothing.

"Im sorry"

A big pause, that shows just how broken both of you are.

"Me too. But it was your fault"

The call ends and Sangwoo takes another gulp of wine as he feels tears. He removes his glasses passing a hand over his face.

Yes. It was his fault.

Gi-hun

Gi-hun its beyond repair by now. Even in his drunk state he can still type your number out of memory.

How long has it been ? Months now ? He cant recall when the fear and self hate took him like a parasite making him end things with you and ruining his life more.

"Gi-hun?" You sweet voice responds, confused as to why your ex would call you after so much time and so late.

"Im drunk. I need someone to pick me up" its his lame excuse, even him cringes at it.

"Gi-hun its has been a year" your words hit me like ice in a storm, he feels sober as he listens to you ramble on how he needs to stop this.

"You need to stop calling. It has been a year Gi-hun. Move on, you hurted me enough"

In-ho

Making bad choices must be his way of life. After all he ended things with you without giving you a reason. He just said his work was taking more time and he could not allow a distraction as yourself.

Maybe if he was open to talk about it things would be different now. His home would not look so empy like his heart. And he would have you with him again.

He wonders if calling you would be too intrusive. After all he did get a formal warning to not contact you after all the gifts and letters he kept sending. Even his younger brother told him to stop for himself and you.

He decides against it and just hopes you are doing good and not being a misserable like him.

[originalgoateewerewolf]

guys i’ve seriously started viewing bobs as either children or as seriously delusional people that shouldnt be taken seriously (take a shot everytime u read the word “seriously” lol), cuz omg i just came across a bob blog and apparently- and this is gonna crack u up guys- tommy is essentially eddie!

like the writers gave tommy eddie’s personality and traits, and they were calling bucktommys delusional for not seeing it.

like we’re talking about tommy who;

1) looks at buck with so much love, as if buck is his entire universe

2) calls buck adorable and a vision

3) listens to buck when he’s infodumping even when he (tommy) is exhausted

4) slept on a too small, leather couch to be near buck because he dislocated his shoulder

5) went to a funeral for a dead cowboy even tho he found is super silly and didnt believe in it (where was eddie btw??? i mean idk i feel like if ur in love with someone you’d go to a dead cowboys funeral for them, its not like its a hardship yk)

being essentially eddie, who;

1) called buck exhausting (him being mad or going through smth isnt an excuse btw, he still said it)

2) told buck that he makes everything about himself (then acted as if he said nothing and was grateful to buck when buck told him that he’s subletting)

3) cheated on his girlfriend with a copy of his dead wife who he cant get over (this has nothing to do with buck ik but im trying to show u how different these two characters are not just through how they treat buck) and ended up driving his son away from him

and yes i didnt add much about tommy outside of buck and thats because we really dont know much about tommy aside from what we got here and there, the only thing they have in common is them being in the military and having similar hobbies, and those things dont mean they’re the same person.

like have you seriously never met someone who has so much in common with you?? obviously you have and that doesnt mean they’re you, or they’re trying to copy you, it means you’d make great friends, and thats why eddie and tommy became close friends so quickly, because they shared similar interests and life experiences. not because the writers made tommy into eddie.

[januaryrabbit]

Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)

hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!

seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!

pairing: svt x gn!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning

other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!

✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)

vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.

s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.

joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.

dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 

seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.

✩‧₊˚depression.

chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.

jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.

hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….

mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(

✩‧₊˚avoidant

woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!

minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!

wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 

jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.