#i just wonder if all will get an equal treatment in animations like these because it seems like a shit ton of additional work

[medievalmidinette]

the very well animated kiss from that scene™ because for some reason i didn't see a single gif version of it yet

[gremlingottoosilly]

Hello gremlin!

I’ve read most of your monster!141 and I absolutely love how you write these stories!

I was wondering if you could do something with a barn owl reader! Barn owl are my favorite animal in general and i would love to see how the monster!141 boys will react to such a cute but deadly hybrid.

I think it will be hilarious how easily you can sneak up on them! After all silence and stealth is a common trait amongst owls. Also it’s not like your a tiny hybrid either you are pretty big and strong but not taller of stronger than the boys

-again i love your work, it’s simply amazing ( i also hope this ask isn’t too weird) 🦉🦉

You weren't even a pet at first. One of the scouts, the flying patrol for the base - the deadly one, really, although the fact that you're only active at night makes you a bit less of an effective soldier than you should be initially. It's fine, you thought, it should be fine - you're flying under the radar, you don't catch attention, you do your job. Then you are accidentally caught in a full moon with Soap and Ghosts. You learned the secret of the most mysterious operator on the base - and you wish you didn't. Stuck on a night patrol with two horny dog and dog-ghost hybrid was...something. Something that got you squished between two of your superiors, your wings petted and stimulated relentlessly and your pussy and ass squeezing their knots. The two of them truly are just dogs at heart - refusing to separate from each other and from you, you could only hoot in pleasure as they were using your body like you were one of pets and not a fellow soldier. You knew what that would mean, obviously - you're strong, yes, but not to the point of their strength. You're not breedable or soft or small, but they are still stronger and you're still cumming around them like a lowly creature you are. Soap marks you with his bites and Ghost pushes his hands around your waist, squeezing you into the shape of a mate. You know your service as a soldier is over. It's not that bad with others - Gaz still respects another flying hybrid in the team, going on patrols whenever you are not being bred, and enjoying flying with you. Even if that means he is only doing this so he could fuck you up on some high mountain or the watching tower, so be it. You want freedom, you crave it, and if spreading your wings also means spreading your legs a bit later than fuck it - Kyle is making you cum, after all. Almost treating you like an equal, this is refreshing after the treatment you're getting from his fellow teammates. He loves to kiss you, to cover you in soft smooches and little pecks, and you never felt so utterly loved. Price is...a bit conflicted. He still treats you as a soldier sometimes. sending you on patrols and when you're all too eager, he is reminded that you're their pet - even though you look and act like a proper recruit. He knows how predator hybrids are, how you need work to do because just laying with your legs spread in your nest won't cut it for someone like you - so he sighs and gives you paperwork, at least, it's something to do whenever you're not filled with their pups. Price is softer with you, he is forcing himself to be. Being strict and acting like your captain is a second nature to him, but you're changing your circumstances really quickly and he just wants you to be good. Just wants you to feel alright even though he understands that the transition was harsh.

[princesssarisa]

I think in Wicked (the musical at least – not sure about the novel), there's a bit of an uneasiness between the theme of "everyone is morally gray, no one is all bad or all good" and the fact that Elphaba is a freedom fighter against a fascist government that commits atrocities against a minority group.

Yes, the Wizard has some sympathetic qualities, Elphaba has some flaws and briefly turns to villainy toward the end, and Glinda is a mass of moral grayness under her perky pink facade. But for the most part it's clear who the villains are (the Wizard and Madame Morrible), Elphaba's stance against them is clearly heroic, and Glinda's choice to work for them is clearly a moral sell-out, with which she struggles and from which she eventually redeems herself. When the Animals' treatment parallels the treatment of Jews in Nazi Germany, you can't take a "both sides" view of the situation. But every now and then, the show seems to do just that – whether in the song "Wonderful" with the Wizard's talk of "moral ambiguities" (though of course in that song, he's trying to justify his actions and manipulate Elphaba into joining him), or Elphaba and Glinda's reconciliation in "For Good," where they paint themselves as having been equally at fault. And again, and again, I've heard people say "There are no real villains in Wicked: the whole point is that there are two sides to every story and neither side is all good or all bad." But if that's the intended message, does it honestly fit with a plot that involves fascism and racial persecution?

Another work of fiction that I think has some uneasiness between its themes is Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Namely between "the Beast as a suffering, misunderstood outcast" and "the Beast as a powerful bully who needs to be humbled and change." I think a lot of the controversy about that movie stems from the uneasiness between those two themes.

On the one hand, the Beast is a spoiled, selfish prince, who was cursed as punishment for shutting out a poor beggar woman, who has a terrifying temper, and who orders others around and throws tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. His beastly appearance and mannerisms can be seen as outward symbols of his bad behavior, which is based in toxic class privilege and masculinity. From this perspective, Gaston is his kindred spirit, which is emphasized by visual cues: e.g. their similar striking blue eyes, or Gaston's pelt-covered, horned chair in the tavern that looks like the Beast's silhouette. The difference between them is that the Beast finally realizes he was wrong and changes his ways, while Gaston only becomes more beastly. But on the other hand, the Beast is also an "other", who hides from the world, who struggles with basic social skills, who is full of insecurity and self-loathing, whom Belle bonds with because they're both misfits, whose bestial mannerisms and overpowering rages are at least partly because the spell is warping his mind (in other words, a magical mental illness), and whom a mob tries to murder just because he looks scary. Analogies have rightly been drawn between the Beast and victims of racism, homophobia, or other prejudice. From this viewpoint, Gaston is his opposite: the type of privileged boor who receives undeserved hero-worship just because he's handsome and charismatic, and who persecutes "others" like the Beast.

When people view it chiefly as a story about the taming of a powerful bully, you hear accusations of "Stockholm Syndrome" and of the dangerous fantasies of changing an abuser. Viewing the Beast as a misunderstood outcast, who finds acceptance in a fellow outcast and who overcomes his mental health struggles and bad coping mechanisms as a result, reduces those accusations. But if you view the Beast chiefly as a misunderstood outcast, then his character arc can feel disempowering: so much of it consists of learning to be more people-pleasing and self-effacing, not to mention re-learning "normal" human manners and behavior (as an autistic person, I know I've sometimes felt "He needs to mask to be loved"), and he becomes fully "normal" by becoming human again in the end.

Maybe there is no uneasiness between these different themes: maybe it's just complexity. Maybe my feelings on the subject shows that I'm autistic and struggle with things that aren't black-and-white. But in both of these works of fiction, I do sometimes feel as if the writers were trying to tell two different stories at once, which sometimes fit together, sometimes not.

Does anyone else feel that way about other works of fiction? Can you name any other stories with multiple themes that seem slightly opposed and uneasy together?

[floatingaimlessly333]

Terrible news :

I’m sick with the flu and the only thing that can cure me is price family/joking/pos

Oh no!!! I’m hope I’m not too late, but I have brought something that may ease your illness:

Simon felt like he was going to vomit. Which, unfortunately, had become a common feeling over the past few weeks.

Johnny joked that it was morning sickness, which that earned him a glare and several hours of the silent treatment.

Simon knew that, in reality, it was just nerves. But this was a kind of nervousness he hadn’t felt since he was a teen, and he very much hadn’t missed it.

What was everyone going to say? Even worse, what would they think but never dare tell him to his face? What if they thought he couldn’t do this? What is it turned out that they were right?

If he didn’t shut this train of thought down, he was definitely going to end up having a meltdown. He just wished that all these questions had come to mind before he made such a huge commitment.

It was far too late for that now. This wasn’t something he could just back out of. Well, he technically could. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t, do that to Johnny. He was nothing like his shitty excuse for a father, and he was going to prove it.

Simon was finally broken out of his spiral by a warm palm landing on his shoulder.

“Ye ready to go, love? Pretty sure if we’re not at the house in the next 20 minutes, Farah’s gonnae drag us over there herself.”

The most Si could manage was a nod. He needed to save all of his words for the barrage of questions he was bound to face from his family. Even though he knew that, if his voice did fail him, his wonderful husband would be right there to carry on for him.

Without another word, the two men made their way to the car, followed by Si’s service dog Riley. The giant german shepherd made herself comfy in the equally as large man’s lap, as opposed to her usual spot in the back. She was always good at knowing when her owner could use an extra bit of comfort.

The car ride was far too short and quiet for either of the men’s tastes. That’s how you knew Johnny was just as nervous, because he couldn’t bring himself to fill the silence. After all, it wasn’t just the Price family that had to get the approval of, but the entire Mactavish and Riley clans as well.

Simon could do this. They could do this. They had to. They knew when they made the decision months ago that this was going to happen. And now it was go time.

“Are you sure we can’t tell them in 7 months? Make it a fun little surprise?” Simon was trying to lighten the mood, but his voice came out a little more desperate than intended.

“Si, if we do that both our mam’s will skin us alive. And then we’ll have ta deal with ma sisters, and then yer siblings, and then-“

“Alright, alright, I get it.” He sighed. “Let’s just get this over with.” He turned to leave the car, but John caught his hand before it could reach for the handle.

“It’s gonnae be alright, Mo ghràdh. But if it goes tits up, then we’ll just run away to the Highlands and become cow farmers.”

“I’m holding you to that, Johnny.” With one finally deep breath and a peck on the lips from his ridiculous partner, Simon was ready to face their family. Well, as ready as he was going to be.

The Price family house was the same as it was the day he had moved out: loud. It was actually louder than ever, with the combined noise of three families and his papa’s ever-growing collection of animals.

The pair made their way to the living room, narrowly avoiding tripping over Kyle’s rambunctious twin girls and a pit bull puppy with a case of the zoomies. There, they found the center of the chaos.

Price and Nik were busy cooing over Kyle’s youngest daughter, while Bonnie Mactavish boasted about her own small army of grandkids. Mary Riley was reminiscing about when Joseph was a baby, much the squirming seven-year-old’s embarrassment.

Roach and Alex had separated themselves from the baby fever and were in the middle of an aggressive arm wrestling match. They had already roped Phillip into their competition earlier, if the ice pack on his hand was anything to go by. Farah was alternating between cheering them on and fussing over a heavily pregnant Valeria. Valeria was juggling between soothing her worried wife and loudly arguing with Ale, as usual. Rudy was nowhere to be seen, meaning he had someone managed to escape the mayhem for a minute. Which Simon was deeply jealous of.

The two newcomers remained unnoticed until Joseph let out a squeal of “Uncle Simon!” and rushed into the blonde man’s arms.

Suddenly, all eyes were on them and a hush fell over the room. The couple’s arrival reminded everyone that they were gathered there to hear an Announcement, and everyone was on the edge of their seats.

The abrupt silence was somehow worse than the deafening noise, and Simon had to stop himself from booking it to the exit. He almost lost the battle to his urges, but then his mum was there, guiding him to the couch and telling him how much she missed him.

The other adults in the room broke out of their own stupor and followed suit, greeting the pair with hugs and kisses and pats on the back. Tommy even offered Si a brotherly smack on the back of the head, which he eagerly reciprocated.

But all too quickly, everyone remembered why they where their, and the spotlight was firmly back the young men.

This was it.

Simon felt the nausea roiling in his stomach once again, and he feared he might puke all over Joseph, who had settled in his lap.

He contemplated passing the little boy over to Beth, but then Jo looked up at him with those big green eyes and his cute little gap-toothed smile. He could do this. If not for himself, then for his nephew, who had influenced this decision in the first place.

Sensing his trepidation, Johnny opened his mouth to start them off, but Si silenced him with a hand on his thigh. He said that he wanted to be the one to tell them, and he was sticking by that.

He looked into Johnny’s eyes to muster up his courage, and then he said those words that were both dread and so joyous.

“Johnny and I are having a baby.”

More silence.

Si’s stomach dropped and his mind raced. They didn’t think he could do it. They thought he’d be a bad father. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t do this.

He started to awkwardly stand up, hoping to throw up somewhere that wasn’t on his nephew. He’s stopped in his tracks by a startled laugh from next to him.

“Bloody hell, Si, ye couldnae have broken the news gentler? Ah think yer da is gonnae have a heart attack!” Johnny broke off again in a fit a laughter, earning him a smack from his oldest sister. But even she was smothering her own chuckle.

All around him, Si’s family began to laugh, filling the space with the bright and happy noise he was so accustomed to.

After he recovered from his own amusement, Johnny began to explain everything in more detail. He told them about their surrogate, and how she was about 3 months along. Meanwhile, Simon just sat there, basking in the smiles and congratulations from a family he never imagined he’d be lucky enough to have.

Eventually, it was Nik who popped the question everyone was dying to know.

“So, am I looking forward to a beautiful granddaughter or a beautiful grandson?”

Johnny smiled wickedly and let Simon do the honors.

“A grandson.” He let a beat go by, before hitting them with the big news. “And a granddaughter.”

There was an eruption of squeals and gasps and cheers from around the room, leaving no doubt in Simon’s mind that their babies were love and accepted. That he was loved and accepted.

After that, everything blended into a rowdy and overstimulating and wonderful mess.

Nik whooped and started passing drinks around the room. Price cried about how his baby was growing up while Bonnie teased him, even with the tears in her own eyes. Johnny’s sisters tried to scare their brother with parenting horror stories, while Simon’s siblings fought over who would be the favorite aunt/uncle. Gaz and Tommy welcomed him as a new father. Joseph insisted that he should get to be the first one to hold the new babies.

Simon let it wash over him, content to lean into his mum and watch everyone celebrate.

“You’re gonna be such a good dad, Si. Your babies will know they’re loved from the second they’re born. I’m so proud of you, baby boy.” Mary pressed a kiss to his temple, and if he let a few tears slip down his face, then that was his business.

He could do this. It would be hard. Anything in life that’s worth is. But at least he wouldn’t be doing it alone.

These babies really had no idea how much love was waiting for them when they get here.

I’m sorry this is so long!!! I haven’t written anything is so long, so it just kinda all came out lol. I hope you like it and that it’s not a complete mess!!! I hope this helps you feel better! Don’t die on me, Aggs!!

[snazzy-snapple]

Arcane Season 2 was great and all; there were definitely some stand-out moments, and the animation GOD THE ANIMATION *chefs kiss* I can't fault anyone for loving it. But honestly, I was kinda disappointed with alot of it. Especially the ending. Piltover's treatment of Zaun has been historically shitty; Zaun should've left their asses by the end. 

Even after the war Piltover is still screwing Zaun over like- one seat at the council-one???? Idk how accurate the maps of Piltover and Zaun are, but they look to be about equal size; some even portray Zaun as bigger. The amount of Council Members representing/ from the Undercity should equate. Also, from my limited understanding of the lore told outside of Arcane, there is fluctuation in the amount of wealth and comfort in the layers of Zaun, so not every part of it is in desperate need as the Fissures. Maybe the places more well-off wouldn't mind Piltover representations- but honestly, I feel like this only adds to my argument. Every part of the Undercity has a differing aspect of and problem that needs to be addressed and well… represented. (congrats to Sevika though she deserves it).

 Honestly, I don't even think an equal Zaun/Piltover council is enough for me; let's take a look at Piltover's leadership, more specifically, how they picked. We only really get one example of this when Jayce replaces Heimerdinger where the other Councilors vote on the decision. The circumstances around Jayce being added, while unorthodox, shouldn't have that different of a system from when a Council member just dies. This means all the power and decision making of thousands and thousands of people is put in the hands of 8 rich assholes who get to pick who they make said decisions alongside. No wonder corruption is a problem. Piltover's own system of governance is in dire need of repair, which would never happen voluntarily because it'd require the Council members to give up their own power. What Arcane needs is a good old-fashioned social revolution. And maybe an actual revolution in Zauns case. 

Please keep in mind I'm looking at this from a show-watcher, not a LOL player pov, and I didn't take the time to learn all the lore surrounding the games. What I know mainly came from the show itself. Not to mention because Arcane is tied to LOL the characters and story have to follow a certain trajectory. 

Anyways, Arcane should've ended with Zaun and Piltover Divorced, Ekko in charge of everything everywhere all the time, and Jinx/Viktor are alive, The End. 

In all seriousness, though, I had a lot more problems than this. Piltover's bullshit is what really hit me hard with recent historical events and my own fears about the future. I hope no one takes this the wrong way; I'm pretty good at ignoring problems in media and just loving it because, well.. loving stuff is fun. Its fun to turn your brain off and be happy. And I've definitely done this with this Season at times. Thanks for listening; overall, the Season felt like a mess. But hey, I had fun.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I love Invar!!!!! Her design is wonderful!! I must know more about her!! Were they betrothed as kids? Does she also enjoy anime (or the Vulcan equivalent)? What do Varith’s siblings think of her?? Gah! You’ve done it again!! you’ve made me fall in love with another one of your ocs!! 😩 /pos

Invar is the granddaughter of a member of the Vulcan high council. Her parents are both politically notable and wealthy.  She was raised being heavily praised and harshly criticized in equal measures - particularly by her mother who always compared her very favorably to others by putting them down. (Ex: "I expect you'll do nothing but the best. You are much more intelligent than those classmates of yours.") However if she failed to live up to expectations she was treated harshly, 'like all the rest'. She became very egotistical, frustrated, and crafty due to this treatment. As a child through to her young teens she was an extremely cruel person - often taking pleasure in bullying and causing misfortune for others. It was to a point where every child in her school knew of her and didn't want to upset or be noticed unfavorably by her. Many students stopped going to school temporarily or altogether after being targeted by her. In her teens Invar suddenly became bedridden with an illness and in her absence her classmates began talking about the bullying which was then discovered by teachers and led to her expulsion from school. Because her family is notable, this incident became news. Varith's family was notified of it and asked if they'd like to continue the engagement or not. To everyone's surprise, Varith said she wanted to continue it. This was not only surprising because of the incident but because Varith & Invar's sole meeting had gone poorly, with the two of them getting into a fight after Invar called Varith 'ugly and sickly'. After confirming they would continue their engagement, Varith sent Invar a letter which merely read 'Well, well, well.' along with several tips for alleviating pain. She originally thought this was some sort of cryptic well-wish but even as the call-back insult she originally figured out it was, it was still kinder than anything else that'd been sent to her. Invar was able to recover from her illness and currently works on a Vulcan science vessel. She has a fairly cushy gig on it because of her family's influence - there are always people willing to do a favor or two. She does NOT have any interest in science - it's just a way for her to not be on the planet. She doesn't know why Varith has continued their engagement and wants to know but doesn't want to ask him. She assumes she'll find out when they are married. Varith and Invar earnestly enjoy one another's company and Invar considers Varith her first true friend. She had plenty of 'friends' while she was bullying people but they all stopped seeing her after she became bedridden. She understands this is because she didn't actually befriend them and they were just sticking to her out of fear or desire for material gain but still. Varith's general dynamic with Invar is that he likes to tease her and she's finding that she enjoys being teased by him. However there's also a tenderness there which others don't often see - most thinking one is taking advantage of the other. (depending on who the person likes more). Invar's currently trying to become a better person or at least lead a normal life. She has a Vulcan therapist she sees and she periodically attempts to contact a person she bullied and apologize. Sometimes it goes fine, sometimes it doesn't. She's not a GREAT person now, she hasn't turned her life around and devoted herself to charity but you know.

In general the vibe of Varith's family is 'tensely polite' towards her with the exception of Elieth.

She doesn't like anime. Her favorite things to do when not working are painting ceramics or creating dioramas.

[clove-pinks]

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how the northwestern frontier of the War of 1812 is ultimately part of the Sixty Years' War for control of the Great Lakes region.

Settler colonial powers clashed with each other (with other overlapping conflicts like the Seven Years' War); and numerous First Nations/Indigenous people joined one side or another in a fight against genocidal removal and the loss of their culture. The frontier was already militarised before the War of 1812.

When he turned his attention to politics, General Harrison specifically emphasised his 1811 win over Tecumseh's confederacy ("Tippecanoe and Tyler too") where he destroyed the Indigenous community of Prophetstown—not his impressive role in the War of 1812 against the British at Fort Meigs.

In the introduction to his 1985 book Men of Patriotism, Courage & Enterprise! Fort Meigs in the War of 1812, Larry L. Nelson discusses his reliance on primary sources in the form of letters, diaries, and journals from the (settler) participants, and how this affects the interpretation of a complicated history:

The use of these primary sources, however, often serves to accentuate the underlying and widely held prejudices of the times. The unsympathetic treatment of the Native American is a case in point. Scorn for the Indian runs as a common thread throughout much of the writing of the period, and is inescapably found in some of the excerpts quoted in this work. For much of white North America during the period, the American Indian was the object of fear and hatred held in equal portion.

The United States already looks pretty Not Great in the long view of the War of 1812—all of our enslaved people constantly fleeing to the British, the bungled invasion of Upper Canada and the burning of York—and there's another dark legacy in the frontier warfare. No wonder the western parts of the United States were so eager for a war with Britain: because it was mainly a war for the expansion of settlement, and there was propaganda depicting the Indigenous population as allies of the British. The New England states wanted to avoid war and almost seceded from the US.

I feel sympathy for many of the defenders of Fort Meigs, particularly the ordinary enlisted men. I don't think they were monsters, even if they were fighting for their nation in a long campaign to break old treaties and expand settlement at the expense of violently displacing native people. The Fort Meigs museum did a nice job with the different perspectives on the conflict, although it's mostly the voices of the US military because they have all of the diaries and letters and other primary sources.

I only just learned that Tecumseh's verbal sketch of Henry Proctor as "a fat animal with its tail between its legs" was in Shawnee, not in English. Tecumseh was revered as an orator, but so few of his words seem to have been written down (that was one of my takeaways from Tecumseh and the Prophet: The Shawnee Brothers Who Defied a Nation, by Peter Cozzens).

There are many challenges for me as a historian, but I am increasingly fascinated by the northwestern theatre of the War of 1812. (And now living there, getting to personally visit these military history sites).

[butchladymaria]

It's definitely a topic that gets even more tangled up with bloodbornes overall themes of femininity and motherhood, explored further if you've seen the Viscerally Feminine video on youtube. It's entirely possible that the Great Ones even *do* align with femininity, but in a way that's kind of twisted. (Great Ones, surrogates, blah blah blah, parentage isn't necessarily related to gender but bb seems to have Stuff Going On) (I am very tired fkshsjsh)

i have watched that video, i thought it was amazing!!! bloodborne has such insanely complex commentary on womanhood. i genuinely think the themes of womanhood, menstruation, childbirth, and the visceral transformation of the flesh are crucial to why it’s been such an enduringly frightening classic.

my take on the great ones and womanhood has always been that it’s something humans assigned to them. they saw a Thing which had a child (kos) and designated her a “mother” because to them, mothers are the ones who bear children. they saw a Thing guarding a baby that didn’t belong to it and named her “wetnurse” because in their minds, women are the nurses of babies. equally, in Oedon they saw a Thing which was capable of impregnating people against their will and decided it was a “he”, because in their minds, men are the ones who sire children in others.

i’ve always loved this reading, because it is very catholic of the church to look at things they don’t understand and try to forcibly assimilate them into existing hierarchies instead of understand them without. like, in my mind, oedon isn’t really a “he”, oedon acts a lot more like a parasite does in nature by forcing other animals to take care of its offspring. kos may not have been a mother at all — male seahorses are the ones who carry children after all. my point in saying all this is that nature is messy, and the great ones are flesh just as any other part of nature might be — but the church has tried to force the great ones into their tidy little boxes of gender binary in order to reinforce the hierarchy which lends them their power.

all that to say — i agree that the great ones do align with femininity in a “twisted” way, and the above is my thoughts on why that might be!

as for women being more “in tune” with the great ones — it’s fascinating for sure! i’ve always thought that the blood saints did require some sort of treatment by the church to gain that property — possibly by having the blood of the great ones imbued into them directly? — but it’s nebulous at best what the process of “grooming” a blood saint looks like. of course, we also have arianna and annalise — but as probable descendants of the pthumerians, it may be that connection which grants them “kinship” of sorts with the great ones, and since they’re the only survivors of cainhurst… well, it’s not as though we’ve got much of a sample size. regardless, however, the fact of the matter is that many women we meet over the course of bloodborne are closely tied to the great ones (adella, adeline, arianna, annalise, fauxsefka, rom, etc…) i truly do wonder if the game overall was drawing on the idea of the “monstrous feminine” by having human women and great ones connected the way they are?

i love this game because there’s so many fascinating readings you can come away with!!! all of this is totally just ad-libbed, i hope it makes sense! and thank you so much for your thoughts!!!

[depressedhatakekakashi]

hi! i've been following you for awhile and I was wondering if I could ask you a a question about your and your husband! I love seeing the way you talk about him and the stories you share. Was he as interested in what you enjoy or does he have his own interests that align with yours? Sorry if it's too personal! I'm 28f and feel shy/embarrassed in expressing my interests in the shows I watch/books I read when dating because I'd say they are probably along the lines of 'special interests' and I get really into them, write FF, etc. And I've not gotten great responses to those hobbies lol - if you don't feel comfy sharing, you can totally ignore this !

My husband and I share almost zero interests tbh. Like we share the most basic beliefs and interests (equality, fair treatment, helping people) which we both consider deal breakers

But when it comes to actual special interests, we couldn’t be more different tbh. Even down to the way we dress it’s very different.

My husband’s favorite music is 80’s stuff, with a special love for The Beatles and Pink Floyd. I actually hate the Beatles but have come to just tune it out rather than complain when he wants to play it. On the other hand, i was raised on Country music and while i have a more diverse taste in music these day’s i still play my fav country station in the car everyday.

His favorite show is House, and he actually enjoys watching TV when he has time. We both like Doctor who so that’s something we watch together, but most things he likes he watches alone or with friends. I like Naruto, Star Trek, Stargate and things along those lines. He has never enjoyed Stargate or Naruto (or Anime in general tbh) but he totally accepts my love for them and we buy each other things for our interests (example: i bought him a yellow submarine pillow for christmas and pink floyd Pj bottoms)

Things we do share an interest in amount to: Pokemon, Doctor Who, Listening to all types of music, having music playing pretty much 24/7.

We’ve also made compromises in some areas. Like decorating he hates clutter and i hate blank spaces, so he let’s me out a lot of things on designated walls but i ask him to hang them cuz he gets annoyed if they’re off centre and i don’t measure shit XD

Basically, a relationship worth having is one where you just understand and accept each other. My husband knows i write and makes time for me to go write because we both agree it’s a better outlet for me than other things i could be doing (drinking, getting high, etc). Someone who’s going to react negatively to what you enjoy isn’t worth your time. They don’t have to understand or even like what you like, but the beauty in human’s is our differences and insulting those differences is childish. The world would be so boring if we all liked the exact same things.

[chatty-goat]

Catching Up, Four Movie Special!

The Changeling (1980)

Tragically I know myself better than I used to. When my mental health is a certain sort of sickly, too much horror ends up making me feel terrible, and though it’s my favorite genre and the season is what it is, I’ve had to cut back. This was the Real One I allowed myself, it sounded familiar, apparently a classic. Later on Tubi recommended Burnt Offerings (1976) based on it, which I understand now but I greatly preferred the latter. I found out (while looking into it partway through, forgive me) it had some cult following, considered one of the most influential?? Canadian films?? Source?? I didn’t think it was terrible, but that felt like damning with faint praise. I do wonder if it’s the sort of thing where everything’s been influenced by it so it doesn’t hit like it used to for the modern viewer? Or maybe I just wasn’t in the headspace for it. Can’t really tell. Mildly enjoyed the protagonists, and the idea of the erm… I’m not sure what you’d call the senator here. Concept for the murder honestly wigs me out more now than it did during the watch, yeuch. My favorite scene took place outside of the haunted house, the main protagonist finally got Out There socially for the first time since his wife and daughter died, went horseback riding with the secondary protagonist, but when they stopped somewhere, something reminded him of his daughter, and he was about to cry, so out of sorts, very moving, except that the horse did not appear to be a very good actor and was chomping on the greenery voraciously just out of frame. If it was intentional then I think that is great use of tonally different elements to make the protagonist feel divorced from what’s happening around him, but it didn’t seem intentional, so I just had me a good laugh.

Victor Frankenstein (2015)

Tubi is my worst enemy but mostly my best friend. I’d never heard about this one, giving Igor the protagonist treatment seemed like just the kind of stupid I was in the mood for, and I’ve just loved every performance Daniel Radcliffe has given as an adult? He just decided to never be in anything normal again, and I love that for him. It scores pretty poorly it seems, and I get that, it’s not a Good Movie, but thoroughly enjoyable. Just hit me in most of my particularities regarding what makes “so bad it’s good”. Much more bisexual than I was expecting, made me cringe but mostly intentionally (not the bisexuality, the characters), somehow managed to throw in a love interest I liked?? The practical effects were lovely when we got them, the cg wasn’t too shabby, except in the editing, some of the editing especially in the circus was bad, as was some of the shit they made up for this movie, but for the most part those things were pretty funny. Almost completely skip over the grave robbing, give Frankenstein a sadboy reason for the obsession (my friend, when I talked about this, suggested they were trying to make him “a meowmeow”, yeah…). The worst part was this inspector character they threw in to shoehorn the affront to god thing, annoyed me every time that character came on screen because it meant I was about to listen to an atheist and a zealot be equally unbearable for a while. The guy who played Moriarty in that one Sherlock show was the inspector, shame he was so intensely unenjoyable whenever he wasn’t monologuing alone. All in all I really liked it though. I’m going to make my best friend watch it with me sometime soon, we’ll see if it’s Just Me or if the people of 2015 just weren’t ready to have a little fun.

Guilstein (2002)

It’s apparently just Frankenstein week for me. A friend and I were browsing anime movies and were intrigued by the promise of cg elements in this. It’s not a good movie. It’s not good cg. We watched it in pretty poor quality, looked like it had been ripped off a vhs, which honestly only helped it. The designs are like, godawful but in the way where I’m sure if I had watched it when it came out I would have thought some of them ruled. The tony hawk ass music was a highlight (I found an ost video on youtube, will be combing that soon), and honestly the main monster’s design grew on me by the end, but the real appeal has ended up being the process of digging up information about it. I often check out whether there was a fanfiction scene for anything I’m checking out, and I knew there was something about this when there was nothing to find. Silly monster stuff has a way of attracting attention, idk, something was up. From all I can tell, there was a Russian dub/sub?, but there were no English fansubs as late as 2020. The only people who saw this (there were not many) just like, either knew enough Japanese to warrant it or were the kind of people to watch any anime movie because It Was Anime, regardless of comprehension. Another era. Not that there was much to comprehend, but still. There are some very funny old reviews about it online. One called it a hipster movie and I’ll take it, there’s something special about getting to take a peek at something that just didn’t make the cut. And how lucky were we to find it so soon after someone finally made subs for it? It’s honestly not bad enough that I can easily pinpoint why, but such is how it goes. This was actually the thing that made me commit to the whole journalling thing, my friend said he was likely to forget about this one pretty soon, which I figured would be the same for me, but what a shame.

Other notes: one of the crew members looks like every human Equius ever, I will never be free. His girlfriend was cute (fucked up how shoehorned she was), and the monster design they made with her… Aside from the titty situation I like it a lot. I think there’s a lot to say about the designs of female monsters, how rare it is that they ever escape being feminine and sexy, but the way they do it in this one reminds me of a certain type of it that blends the human and the inhuman in a way I’m fond of. It’s just kinda fun. Reminds me of Andariel from Diablo 2 for some reason. Maybe it’s just Red Monster Lady idk. Something noted that it was “hastily” removed from potentially broadcasting, just so many funny little details.

A Wind Named Amnesia (1993)

This!!! This!!! Watched it after Guilstein with that same friend, we had spent the evening skipping through older things to avoid committing to a second movie (like an ancient toei Sinbad movie, gorgeous, a lovely musical that felt so of its time despite not being from the same place as the ones I’m familiar with, a chicken or the egg question I don’t feel like diving into right now), but I saw the poster and thought it looked fruity. Turns out that character was not an effeminate man but in fact a woman (the screen was far away and it was small…), but I was in luck anyway because I’m right and Wataru and Johnny were in love. What a treat! The only thing on this post that was both Actually Good and I Actually Loved. Imo it has the quality of a sci fi short story, something that just punches you with a premise and a thousand strange things you just have to get into so they can tell the story they really want to tell. And some of that stuff is Weird, but I was both in the mood for Weird and also it seemed like it was supposed to be making you uncomfortable? Or maybe that was just me projecting my sci fi brain onto it. Idk, some things just have the charisma to make it work. It was a joy, really tugged on the heartstrings and drew us into its little mysteries. My absolute favorite manga is YKK, and I have a soft spot for apocalyptic road trips and peering in on humanity. The love behind it, the aimlessness. Johnny’s contribution to why Wataru is the way he is hurt my heart in a unique way. Idk I’ve read a lot of shit like this in my day, but nothing that told the protagonist “Hey, there’s no Point anymore, I know you can’t be any kind of savior and don’t expect it of you, but I want you to live. You don’t have to do anything with that life. I just want you to be able to see what there is left to see, and if you happen to find out who did this, tell them the shit you’ve seen, and ask em to fix it.” Just. No expectations, and by god Wataru doesn’t pick up anything else. I really like that. The world truly cannot be his problem. A few misses to be sure, a racist design, the ending is divisive but I would have liked it were it not for the no-chemistry random sex, but overall this was endearing. Exactly up my alley. Another one I’m going to make my bestie watch.

About the short story comment: I was closer than I expected! It’s based on a novel by the guy who wrote Vampire Hunter D, which I’d heard of as a Big Deal but I’m not familiar with… But anyway, I read up about some differences between that movie and the book, and looked into the book itself… I have a little collection going of books I really had to hunt for. It’s just something I enjoy doing, and I keep independently ending up interested in things that are hard to find, and then when I talk about them it’s part of the story. Oh it took this long to find this whole series and I had to go to x and y place and I never would have even found out about it if I hadn’t picked the first one up in the dollar bin or seen a pretty small tumblr post or- ok so I’m a little book hipster I treasure the little things like that. But anyway this was apparently one of the less popular works of his, and also it’s a translated japanese novel from the 80s like, there’s not too many copies and they’re old but have a big name attached to them- what I’m saying is they’re too expensive for me, but I think I’m going to make it the target of my next hunt, keeping an eye out for them and seeing if it pops up locally and, christ, for less than 40 dollars. Or maybe my hunt will go on for so long that it’ll reach a point where I can justify that to myself. We’ll see. But it’s nice to have things to shoot for, and my last hunt was a great success so I’m eager to get on another trail.

Anyhow, those have been tumbling around in my head and I’m now free. Hopefully catching a few more z’s,

CG

[erodasfishtacos]

It’s Just Me (mini blurb)

if you enjoyed this fic - PLEASE reblog, rec, like, and come chat with me about the fic!

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———————

It was a terrible twos kind of day. The kind of day when YN can’t tote Ivy along to a charity organization brunch because she would meltdown.

Harry had her in his office with him, she was sitting on a blanket Harry had laid out, and was quietly playing with her stuffed animals (mostly seals.)

Occasionally, she would babble to herself and get pissed of at her inatimate playmates, ending in her tossing it to the side.

He caught himself just staring at her, smiling as he watches the little human he and his soulmate created right in front of him.

When his phone rings, he automatically picks it up, professionally stating, “Styles.”

“Hi, this is Dan from Payroll,” The guys voice was already shaking and Harry knew he was about to get really pissed off.

“How can I help you?” He asks in a tone that’s was definitely did not sound like he wanted to provide any assistance.

There is a pregnant pause before Dan nearly stutters, “Er, I accidentally missed reviewing the marketing departments hours and they did not receive their last paycheck.”

Harry takes a very deep breathe because he wants to do what he normally would - scream through the phone at this idiot.

However, he can’t because his curly haired little baby is playing with her toys in the middle of the office with a smile.

“Please come up to my office,” Harry replies curtly before hanging up.

He gets up, goes over to his daughter, and squats in front of her, “Ivy, baby.”

She looks up at him with a toothy grin before reaching over to hand him a stuffed seal, “Play, daddy.”

Harry thumbs over a stray curl on her forehead, “Daddy can’t, my love. I need y’to go with Granny Dor for a little.”

Ivy had been very clinging to both YN and Harry recently. She had a fit when YN dropped her off, despite how happy she was to see her dad.

Her brows furrow, lips purse, and Harry has to laugh because she looks like a carbon copy of him with the sour face.

“Oh, no mean looks t’daddy,” He hums with his own frown, “S’just for a moment, m’dove.”

“No.”

“Ivy, y’need to listen.”

And Harry knows it coming, she sucks in a huge breathe and then just lets out a scream in protest of him.

“Ivy Elizabeth Styles, y’do not scream. Y’know better. Are we going to have to take a timeout or are you going to go sit nice with Dor?” Harry’s voice is still softer than he’d use with any of him employees but extremely firm to her.

“No timeout, daddy,” She mumbles, her volume decreasing significantly as she lowers her gaze from her father’s.

“Alright, then c’mon. Thank you for listening,” Harry praises, gathering up her toys for her and leading her into his waiting room where Dorothy is typing away on her computer.

“Dor, Dan is coming up and I need to have a private meaning. Will y’watch her for a little?”

Ivy is already clambering up into her lap, into the warmth of her arms, and nuzzling in - because Granny Dor spoiled her silly.

Harry rolls his eyes, muttering, “And you and YN say I spoil her too much. Bloody ridiculous.”

Dorothy just shoos him away, readjusting Ivy’s bow, and combing through her hair softly to simmer her down a little.

Dan trails in solemnly soon after to face his inevitable doom.

He sees his boss’ daughter perched on the secretary’s lap and he wonders how such a sweet little thing could be created from the demon of a man.

As Harry and Dan meet, Ivy gets wriggly and squirms off of Dorothy’s lap.

“Stay close,” She murmurs to the toddler as she picks up her phone to answer a call for Harry.

Of course, Ivy doesn’t listen, and she noticed that the door to her father’s office is cracked open just the littlest bit.

It’s enough for her to slip through the space between the heavy doors and toddles on, she’s blocked by the leather couches so Harry can’t see her.

“I have givin’ you so many fuckin’ chances!” Harry seethes angrily at his employee. His tone was more like a growl than anything else.

Ivy pauses, eyes widening in fear as she hears her dad speak in a frightening manner she’s never heard before.

“I…There was a coding error that I had been distracted with, it won’t happen again,” Dan insists, knowing he had actually committed a fireable offense.

“You are absolutely correct because you’re fucking fired,” Harry replies, no wavering in his raspy register.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Dan explodes, “It’s unfucking fair treatment! It was one mistake, you fuckin’ asshole!”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I can fuckin’ show you unfair treatment. Get the fuck out of my office and learn how to do your goddamn job,” Harry retorts, his voice rising as well.

Ivy is stuck in her spot, frozen in surprise at hearing the arguing and how mad her father sounded, voice echoing through the room.

“You listen to me-“

“Get the fuck out of my office!” Harry booms furiously, this employee managing to get a rise out of him.

“I was ju-“

Both the men pause when they hear a wail from behind the sofa and the sound of Ivy plopping herself on the ground.

Harry instantly is out from behind his desk and going to round the sofa in a flash with a rose of panic in his chest.

His heart drops when he sees his baby looking up at him with fear in her watery eyes and she’s literally shaking.

“Oh, baby. Did y’hear daddy bein’ loud?” Harry murmurs in his sweetest, comforting voice - uncaring of his employee hearing him.

Harry expects her to nod sadly and ask for a cuddle but she instead wriggles backwards when he goes to reach for her - out of his reach.

“Ivy, little dove, s’just y’daddy,” He tries again, sitting down in front of her - doesn’t even look up as Dan leaves quietly.

She’s scared though and has had never felt worse in his life as his daughter backs away from him until she’s getting to her wobbly feet.

He tries again, reaching his arms out, “Ivy Elizabeth, s’just daddy. M’sorry I scared you, bub.”

Ivy doesn’t budge, crying loudly with her face pinched up as hot tears run down her soft chubby cheeks.

Dorothy appears with a worried look, “I apologize, I thought she was by the table.”

“S’not your fault I’m a shitty father,” Harry mutters, standing back up and roughly brushing off his trousers.

“Oh Harry, she’s just a little frightened,” Dorothy hums, picking the girl up when she toddles quickly over to her.

Her dad trails over, “Ivy, m’love. Can you look at daddy?”

She refuses, digging her face into the woman’s shoulder, curls bouncing fiercely as she clings onto her.

Harry loved to be feared. Not like this though. Not by the child he’d literally jump in front of a train for without a second thought.

He would rather have her screaming, pitching fits, throwing toys rather than this. She was so scared that she wouldn’t even look at him.

“Let me take her on a little stroll, okay? See if I can calm her down a bit.”

—

Harry waits patiently for Dorothy to arrive back but he automatically hears his daughter’s steady stream of sniffles and whimpers.

He goes out to the waiting room to see her reentering the room, she sighs, “I think it’s time to call mummy.”

Harry had no idea how he was going to explain this to his wife. He was I trouble and he knew he deserved it.

“Hey H, is the bab okay?” YN greets warmly, chattering in the background.

“Er, she’s okay, just upset. Ivy accidentally walked in on me flipping out and firing an employee. Now she’s scared. Dor tried to calm her down and she doesn’t want to be near me right now.”

YN’s next words were calm, Harry however did not miss the sharp edge when she replies, “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Then she hangs up on him.

Which she really never does unless she is really really upset.

—

When YN arrives, Ivy is sat on Dorothy’s lap with puffy eyes and her thumb tucked between her full lips, popping it out when she sees her mother.

“Mumma!” Ivy shrieks, tears beginning streaming down her face as she impatiently waits for her to cross the room and gives her a soft kiss to the forehead.

“Hi baby, give mummy one minute and then we’ll leave okay?” YN murmurs soothingly, thumbing of some of the tears.

Ivy nods but is standing next the secretary’s desk, waiting patiently with her thumb going right back between her lips again.

Harry’s sitting at his large oak table, looking like a guilty puppy as his wife comes in with a disapproving look on her face.

“Baby, m’sorr-“

“What the fuck, Harry? Why is our daughter out there terrified right now?” YN demands, crossing her arms to prove her anger.

“Some fuckin’ idiot messed somethin’ up and Ivy walked in while I cursed him out and fired him. She was hiding behind the couch. It was an accident,” He defends, bristling a bit.

“Even if the door was shut, she would have still heard you. You knew better than to act like that around our daughter.”

“I had to fire him,” Harry makes the lame excuse because he knows he’s in the wrong and he’s not always great at admitting he is.

“You were supposed to have Ivy for two hours and this happens. I have her all day everyday and I’ve need had an issue with controlling myself in front of others!” YN yells (quietly) at him.

“What the fuck is tha’ supposed to mean? Y’calling me a bad father? Y’have her all day with her because I work so that you can stay at home with her.”

YN rolls her eyes, “Well thank god for that, she’d be cursing and screaming at people all day everyday if she was with you all the time.”

Harry is thoroughly pissed at his wife and she is equally just as furious with him - it doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s bad.

“Y’got some fuckin’ nerve. Our baby is polite, well-mannered because of me too! Not just you, fuckin’ claiming all her good qualities,” He replies with a snarl.

“Don’t talk to me that way,” YN bites back, “I’m not one of your employees. Neither is Ivy despite you talking like that in front of her.”

Now she was just trying to push his buttons and it was well onto it’s way of working.

“Y’bein’ fuckin’ ridiculous! It was a accident and you’re acting like I did it on purpose! Fuckin’ hell!” He raises his voice in frustration.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are raising your voice at me but I’m leaving,” YN tells him, giving him one final glare before storming out of the office.

“Fuck!” He grunts, smacking cup of pens from his desk before slamming his fist on the desk.

—

Ivy was waiting patiently, whimpering when she sees her mum, and gesturing to be picked up, “It’s past your nap time, Vee.”

“Nap,” She lisps sadly, instantly curling into then familiarness that is her mother. Eyes instantly fluttering shut.

“Thank you, Dor,” YN whispers, blowing her a kiss, before trekking out of the office with the exhausted little girl.

—

Harry can’t handle the rest of the day, wants to go home, and make amends with his wife which leads him to heading out only an hour after them.

He finds YN in the den with the baby monitor propped on the coffee table, she’s watching a horror movie with a smoothie in hand.

“Hi, m’heart,” Harry murmurs cautiously, loosening up his tie until it falls limp around his neck.

She glances over at him, sarcasm lacing her tone,“So you do know how to talk without yelling at me, hmm?”

His face falls, frowning, “Hey, lovie - don’t be like tha’. Y’gonna let me apologize?”

“Come scratch my back and I’ll hear you out,” She hums, keeping a serious face.

“Y’drive a hard bargain, m’heart. Show me y’tits,” Harry begins to smile, striding over and getting her no time before he’s pulling off her shirt and sports bra.

He sits down then gently lays her down on her tummy and she rests her head in his lap, cheek pressed against his thigh.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I wasn’t thinkin’. Now I’m worried she’s gonna hate me forever,” Harry mumbles, using his blunt nails to trace up and down her back.

“You’re her favorite person. She’ll always love you more than anything,” YN tells him seriously, arching when he scratches an extra itchy spot.

“I hope so. I love her more than anythin’. A little mixture of how much we love each other. How much we worked to get her,” He sighs softly.

—

YN dozed off and Harry tucks a blanket around her bare chest.

When the baby monitor alerts that Ivy had woke up after quite a long nap, he takes a deep breath before walking up the staircase to his fate.

He’s preparing himself for her to scream and cry when she sees her monster of a father because he’d scared her so horribly.

But his mini just widens her green eyes and he looks at his world with bated breath, waiting for the scream or tears.

Instead, she just dimples happily at her father, and squeals with excitement, “Daddy! Hi Daddy, miss you!”

And just like that….

They’re best friends again.

—-

Enjoy! Come talk to me!! 💕❣️💕❣️💕❣️

[taintedtort]

prompt ✧ hc + drabbles

character ✧ kenma

warnings ✧ gn!reader, none… just fluff + some crack

authors note ✧ first post ?!?!?!

✧ LOVES matching stuff with you, doesn’t matter what. bracelets, necklaces, clothes, profile photos, usernames… he loves it all.

✧ that being said, he wont ask to match with you first. he’s embarrassed about it, and will never ever admit that he actually loves the idea.

“can we get these?” you flashed your boyfriend your screen, showing him a set of matching phone cases. he didn’t say anything, just nodded and turned back to his switch. unbeknownst to you however, a small smile crept onto his face. the thought of having something matching with you to show off to everyone appealed to him. he was a bragger at heart.

✧ DOESNT like coffee. this is an extremely personal head cannon i randomly made up based off zero facts.

✧ he might have an irregular sleep schedule, but the taste of coffee doesn’t sit well on his tongue. the after taste is also equally as bad. he doesn’t really like the taste of energy drinks either, so when he doesn’t get enough sleep he just deals with it.

✧ A MEAN riser. he’s very cranky when he wakes up, especially if it’s early.

✧ if you tend to wake up in the earlier hours of the day, just know you’ll be met with a very upset kenma. don’t expect a good morning kiss, or breakfast in bed. he’ll lay in bed groaning about how it’s so early and no one should be awake right now. don’t try to drag him out of bed, you’ll get yelled at and later be given the silent treatment.

✧ however, if you’re not an early riser, your mornings will be spent just staring at kenma’s face or back, blinking the sleep out of your eyes. sometimes if you’re lucky he’ll get up before you, meaning you’re spared from his early morning wrath.

“kenma, wake up.” you gently shook him awake, trying not to make him too mad. he instantly groaned and pulled the covers over his head. “cmon… get up, it’s already past noon.” you tried to gently coax him out of bed like you do every morning, but it’s never any help. you always end up getting glared at and ignored for an hour or so. “leave me alone, i’ll get up when i wanna.” he rolled over, making you face his back. you just sighed and walked out of the room, knowing if you tried any further it would only end up worse for you.

✧ he’ll always end up coming up to you and hugging or kissing your head as an apology. he knows you know not to take him seriously in the mornings, but he always feels guilty when he’s finally fully awake.

✧ DOESN’T really like pets. i know it’s obvious in the show that he cares about animals (when he saved the cat from the tree with lev) but he doesn’t want to actually own one.

✧ might feed the stray animals that wonder around his house, but he wouldn’t ever take one in. he doesn’t like the responsibility. he knows he can barely take care of himself, so he doubts he can care for an animal as well.

✧ however… if you have an animal i doubt he’d mind. unless it was one of those loud annoying dogs that bark at everything… or the pets that constantly want attention. and if your pet ever was mean to him (ex: barking, hissing, scratching, etc) he’d forever hate it. doesn’t matter how much you love it, he hates it. it was mean to him one time, but once is enough in his book.

“kenma stop.” you scoffed and swatted your hand at him while he was making a face at your pet. “what?” he feigned innocence while still staring daggers into your poor animals direction. “stop glaring, you’re scaring them” you pulled your pet into your lap and pet them gently. “it should be scared” he rolled his eyes. “kenma!” you yelled, gasping loudly and scrunching your nose at him.

✧ HONESTLY a given, but would love to play video games with you. specifically ones that you suck at but he’s really good. makes you play games you’ve never seen before, and when you ask to play the game you guys played last time because “i was getting good at that one!” he refuses. he wants to see you struggle while he easily flies through the levels. while he’s already at the finish line, you’re left trying to copy the moves he did. you die dozens of times on each level, growing more and more frustrated. you hate the way he sits and watches you with a bored expression on his face while you’re trying your absolute hardest!

✧ eventually you groan and toss the controller aside, letting out an exasperated “i’m done!” while you storm off. he honestly expected you to quit long before that, so he follows you out of the room to console you.

“babe…” he calls out to you in a feigned sad tone. you plop yourself on the couch and cross your arms, trying to ignore him. you know he set you up, he does it every time. he always picks games he’s passed thousands of times! he sits next to you and put a hand on your shoulder, you don’t look at him. “why so upset?” he has a slight smirk on his face, and you can hear it in his voice. you roll your eyes and huff out, “you did that on purpose, you picked another hard game.” he lets out an airy laugh and pecks the side of your head. “let’s go play a different one then, yeah?” he grabs both your hands in his and pulls you up. “but you’re good at all of them, it’s unfair!” you say this, but follow him back to the room anyway. he doesn’t say anything after that, he just picks a game you’ve played before so it won’t be totally unfair. he stills wins of course, but you don’t storm off this time.

✧ WILL indulge you and do those stupid tiktok trends. he always sees them before you do, so he knows how to do them before you even ask. they never get posted, but you do always screen record and send them to him. he saves them to an album in his camera roll.

“hey! do this with me.” you hop up off his bed and run to his desk to prop your phone up. he only sighs before also getting up, knowing what you want. “which one is it?” is all he asks before you press record. “you’ll see.” you snickered before standing next to him, the camera catching you two waist up. the sound plays from your phone as you turn to him and put your arms around his neck, turning you both sidewise so your side profiles are being filmed. you lean in to kiss him, but before he closes the distance you mutter “you can’t kiss me.” he instantly knows the trend your both doing and curses himself. he should’ve asked more questions. you two stand there, faces inches apart while the music from your phone plays in the background. he refuses to loose, and refuses to let this phase him. he’s ultimately better at hiding what he’s feeling, so it’s mostly you who’s desperate to feel his lips on yours. the only indicator from him is his eyes darting down to your lips and back up to your eyes multiple times. once the video reaches its limit, you press your lips to his. it was a lot quicker than he would’ve liked, but before he could grab you up and kiss you again, you’d already backed away to grab your phone. sometimes he really hates these trends.

[animeomegas]

Hi!!!, first, congratulations on 1000 followers!I wanted to ask you something, could you make a list of omegas that would have worse self esteem during pregnancy.if you can't don't worry, have a nice day and again congratulations.

(Hey, thank you so much for your congratulations!! Hmm, I’m sure I can make a little list~)

Warnings: Insecurities of all sorts, mentions of sex.

Insecure over appearance:

· Itachi – Itachi is worried about how skinny and sickly he is. He’s always been on the small side but pregnancy has stopped him being able to keep much food down, and so he just kept getting smaller and smaller. It’s a small insecurity at first, but he does find himself staring at his reflection and wondering if his mate finds him attractive. Itachi goes a long while without sex because of how sick he gets during pregnancy and after birth, and that feeds the insecurity that his alpha doesn’t find him attractive.

· Tamaki – He’s completely fine until he gets lost in a rabbit hole on some parenting and omega focused forums. He finds all these posts from other omegas about how their alphas don’t find them attractive anymore, and about how they’ve stopped having sex. Now, Tamaki is extremely sexually needy during his pregnancy, so he’s suddenly paralysed with fear. Has his alpha been forcing themselves this whole time? Have they just been doing it to please him without enjoying it themselves? He cries about it quite a bit until his alpha finds out and knocks a little bit of sense into him.

· Asmo – Asmo puts so much effort into his physical appearance. He’s very proud of it and he’s very reliant on his appearance to carry his self-esteem. So, a drastic change of any sort would be extremely distressing. He buys every cream and treatment imaginable to stop stretch marks, and acne etc. but things still change with his body. And because Asmo views his worth through looks, he assumes that his alpha does also. He tries to hide, to turn down sex, but of course, this alerts his alpha immediately to the fact that something is wrong. He never really gets over the insecurities while he’s still pregnant, but his alpha can minimise the effects with copious love and praise.

· Julian – He’s extremely insecure as it is, constantly questioning why his alpha finds him attractive at all but being pregnant adds enough layer on to the pre-existing insecurities. He always tries to reassure his alpha that they don’t have to touch him if they don’t want, that they should leave the room before he gets changed or when he’s bathing because they probably don’t want to see him like that. His insecurities run very deeply, just like Asmo’s, so they can’t be fixed, but they can be helped with lots of comfort and reassurance.

Insecure over abilities (e.g., being weak physically etc.):

· Sasuke – The fact that he can’t go on missions or train pisses him off. And as the months go by, he’s gaining weight and losing muscle definition and it freaks him out because he feels like he’s losing who he is which drops his self-esteem. Training has been a part of his life for as long as he can remember. Just design some softer workout routines for him with a mednin and remind him that he can still practice throwing kunai before he loses his goddamn mind.

· Bakugou – The physical condition of his body changing isn’t that big of a deal for him. He has a very small tummy, especially considering he’s pregnant with twins, and he knows he can bounce back after the birth because he’s super dedicated to his physical routine. What he’s not so confident about is the slipping control he has over his quirk. He has (had) an iron clad control, and the random explosions while pregnant are so embarrassing. Not to mention the disruption that his quirk causes in his nest. He has to replace so many cushions which makes his instincts go wild because significant changes to an omega’s nest while pregnant is distressing. If his friends tease him about the loss of control, he gets genuinely mad about because it’s something of a sore spot.

· Jumin – Jumin tries to keep his life while pregnant as close to his life before being pregnant as possible and in many ways, he nails it. He buys copies of his favourite suits and has them tailored every other week to fit his growing stomach. He buys non-alcoholic wine and drinks it with a grimace. He schedules lots of massages to keep the aches and pains away, so he feels normal. But there is one thing that isn’t so easy to keep normal: his emotions. Now, this fits into this category rather than the one below because Jumin gets insecure about how his emotional control impacts his ability to work. His emotions had never impacted his career before, but now he can’t help but tear up when he gets overstressed, he can’t work long hours without getting lonely and wanting to go home, he can’t take business trips because he doesn’t want to leave his nest for too long. It makes him feel a little like he’s lost himself because these things are things he’s been doing with ease for his entire life. He’s quite irritated by it and it damages his self esteem somewhat.

Insecure emotionally (e.g., unsure about being a good parent etc.):

· Tamaki –Tamaki also makes it onto this category. His insecurities are very specific, but he worries about being a bad role model socially for his pup. If his alpha is very socially adept, I’m not sure he would worry as much, because he knows that his pup can learn from their other parent, but if Tamaki’s alpha is also a little shy or prefers not being around people, then he gets really worried about it. Him being so shy and anxious has really impacted his life and he really doesn’t want it to impact his pup in the same way. He really worries that he’ll be a bad influence in that regard. (but the prospect of an extremely extroverted child is an equally terrifying concept in a different way haha.)

· Lucifer – He is very worried about being a good parent because all he can focus on is the past times when he wasn’t a good older brother. I mean, Satan hates him, and that’s as close to a father/child bond that Lucifer has, so surely that must mean he’s not cut out to be a father? He’s not good at emotions or reasonable punishments or showing affection or… well, point is he doesn’t think he has what it takes to be a good parent, when all he’s ever had is a shitty father himself, and all he’s ever been, is a shitty older brother that drove his family apart.

· Levi – Levi is insecure about most things that have to do with himself, so it’s not surprising that he gets very insecure about being a good parent which drops his self-esteem to an all time low. He can’t even watch any anime that focuses too much on parent/child relationships because he can’t help but compare himself every time, and he works himself up into a mini panic. It’s difficult to calm Levi’s insecurities but his partner can help him somewhat.

· Hawks – Keigo is very insecure about his abilities to protect his pup. His has this conspiracy theory that the hero commission will try to kidnap his child. They were furious when they found out he was pregnant during the peak of his career and they pushed him heavily towards abortion. Keigo leaked the pregnancy news to the public to force the commission’s hands, but he’s still so paranoid that they’ll stage a 'tragic accident' for his pup to force him back into hero work, or try and kidnap and raise his pup as they raised him. He doesn’t have any proof, per se, but he’s terrified that he can’t protect his pup so he really doesn’t like to leave his alpha’s presence. When he’s close to his due date, he’s too insecure with all his conspiracy theories clouding his mind to even let his alpha shower by themselves.

· V – Jihyun sort of convinces himself that he’s cursed when it comes to looking after people (Rika, Saeyoung, Saeran), so he’s very upset by the prospect that he’ll probably fail at raising his child too. He originally says that he wants to give the pup up for adoption to save them, but eventually you talk him around and start working through his problems. He just doesn’t thing he’ll be a good role model. The longer he waits to have children after the more traumatic events of his life, the less these issues crop up.

Miscellaneous:

· Aizawa – Shouta gets insecure when people pay too much attention to him being pregnant. He doesn’t like people giving up their seats for him on public transport, he doesn’t like his students and colleagues asking invasive questions, he doesn’t like those awful shop attendants that try to shoehorn him into buying baby supplies he doesn’t need. He wishes people would just treat him normally. (and he absolutely starts to activate his quirk every time someone tries to touch his tummy without asking first.) But yeah, all the eyes and attention makes him super uncomfortable and it makes him overanalyse everything he does which does impact his self esteem.

· Light – Light has a very specific insecurities while pregnant which revolve around the fear that he’s lowering himself by carrying a pup. All his life he’s had people tell him that because he’s an omega, he should give up on all his dreams and have pups and stay home instead. It really doesn’t sit well with him that he’s doing what all those awful people told him to do (at least it feels that way to him). He feels ashamed and he hates it. He avoids everything stereotypical while pregnant. He’ll kick you in the face if you try to rub his feet, he does everything in his power to avoid giving in to cravings, and he doesn’t make a nest. It all takes a serious toll on his health but it would take one hell of a stubborn alpha to get him to bend on any of that. It puts a strain on the relationship.

[wickwrites]

Wonder Egg Priority Episode 4: Boys’ and Girls’ Suicides Do Mean Different Things (But Not in the Way the Mannequins Want You to Think!)

So, let’s talk about this for a second. After I got over my initial knee-jerk reaction, I realized I wasn’t sure how to make sense of exactly what the mannequins were arguing for here. So let me rephrase their statements to make the argumentative structure more explicit: Because men are goal-oriented and women are not, because women are emotion-oriented and men are not, and because women are impulsive and easily influenced by others’ voices and men are not, boys’ and girls’ suicides mean different things – girls are more easily “tempted” by death, and therefore, more likely to require saving when they inevitably regret their suicide. While Wonder Egg Priority, so far, seems to agree with the vague version of the mannequins’ conclusion, namely that boys’ and girl’s suicides mean different things, it refutes the gender-essentialist logic through which that conclusion was derived.

The mannequins choose a decidedly gender essentialist approach in explaining the difference between girls’ and boy’s suicides; they argue that the suicides are different because of some immutable characteristic of their mental hard wiring (in this case, impulsivity, emotionality, and influenceability). Obviously, this is a load of bull, and Wonder Egg Priority knows it. The mannequins are not exactly characters we’re supposed to trust, seeing that they’re running a business that is literally based on letting these kids put themselves in mortal danger. As faceless adult men, they parrot and possibly represent the systems that force these girls to continue to be subjected to physical and emotional trauma (it’s probably more complicated than this, but four episodes in, it’s hard to say more). So, we’re probably supposed to take what they say with great skepticism. Also, the director, Shin Wakabayashi, has recently said that in response to these lines, Neiru was originally going to object, “When it comes to their brains, boys and girls are also the same,” (which unfortunately is not exactly true and is somewhat of an oversimplification, but the sentiment is there). While that line ultimately did not make it in, Neiru does reply with a confused and somewhat indignant, “What?!”, a reaction that gets the message across.  Neiru is not a fan of gender essentialism, and as a (more) sympathetic character, we’re supposed to agree with her.

That is, the differences between boys and girls is not something inherent to their biology or character, but something constructed by culture and experience. This rejection of gender-essentialism is apparent in Wonder Egg Priority’s narrative, which takes a more sociocultural perspective on the difference between boys’ and girls’ suicides. It says, well of course boys’ and and girl’s suicides don’t mean the same thing, that’s the whole reason why we’re delving into the experiences specific to being a girl (cis or trans) or AFAB in this world – to show you how girls’ suicides are influenced by systems of oppression perpetuated by those in power (ie. the adult, in this specific anime).

And all the suicides we’ve seen up until now tie into that somehow. For instance, Koito is bullied by her female classmates who think that Sawaki is giving her special treatment. This is a narrative that comes up over and over again, in real life as well: that if a young girl is being given attention from an older man, then it’s her fault – that she must want it, or at least enjoy it somehow, and that it signifies a virtue (eg. maturity or beauty) on her part. And if Koito is actually being given such treatment by Sawaki, an adult man in a position of power over her, that is incredibly predatory. 

And we all know that child sexual abuse is something that overwhelmingly affects girls, with one out of nine experiencing it before the age of 18, as opposed to one out of 53 boys (Finkelhor et al., 2014). Regardless of whether Sawaki was actually abusing Koito or if the students only thought that he was, Koito’s trauma is ultimately the result of this romanticized “love between a young girl and adult man, but not because the man is predatory, but because the girl has some enviable virtue that makes her desirable” narrative. Similarly, in episode 2, Minami’s suicide is driven by ideas related to discipline and body image in sports, which while not necessarily specific to female and AFAB athletes, is framed in an AFAB-specific way. For instance, take the pressure on Minami to “maintain her figure”. Certainly, male athletes also face a similar pressure, but we know that AFAB and (cis and trans) female bodies are subject to closer scrutiny and criticism. We know that young girls are more likely to suffer from eating disorders. And Wonder Egg Priority situates Minami’s experience as decidedly “about” AFAB experience when her coach accuses her change of figure due to her period as a character failing on her part.

 Likewise, episode 3 delves into suicides related to “stan” culture, this fervent dedication to celebrities that is overwhelmingly associated to teenage girls. And Miwa’s story, in episode 4, explicitly shows how society responds to sexual assault. When Miwa does have the courage to speak up about her assault, she’s instantly reprimanded by basically everyone around her. Her father is fired because her abuser was an executive of his company. Her mother asks her why she couldn’t just bear with it, telling her that her abuser chose her because she was cute, as if that’s supposed to make her feel better about it. Wonder Egg Priority shows that this sort of abuse is a systemic problem, a set of rules and norms deeply engrained in a society and upheld by all adults, regardless of gender, social status, or closeness (to the victim). Wonder Egg Priority says that, yes, girls’ and boys’ suicides have different meanings, but it’s not due to some inherent difference between the two, but the hostile environment in which these girls grow up. Girls are not more easily “tempted” by death, they just have more societal bullshit to deal with.

But Wonder Egg Priority goes further than just showcasing how girls’ (and AFAB) experiences are shaped by sociocultural factors. The story also disproves the supposedly dichotomous characteristics that the mannequins use to differentiate girls and boys (i.e. influenceability/independence, impulsivity/deliberation, emotion-orientation/goal-orientation). If the mannequins are indeed correct, and that girls are just influenceable, impulsive, and emotional, you’d expect the girls in the story to be to be like such too. Except, they aren’t. Rather, they’re a mix of both/all characteristics. This show says that, certainly, girls can be suggestible, but they’re also capable of thinking for themselves. For instance, when Momoe asserts her own identity as a girl at the end of episode four, she rejects the words of those around her who insisted that she isn’t a girl. If she were as suggestible as the mannequins believe her to be, that would never have happened – she would have just continued believing that she wasn’t girl “enough”. But, she doesn’t because she is equally capable of making her own judgements. Likewise, Wonder Egg Priority shows that girls can be impulsive, but they can also be deliberate and pre-mediating. When Miwa tricks her Wonder Killer into groping her to create an opening for Momoe to defeat it, she’s not doing it out of impulse – it’s a pre-mediated and deliberate choice unto a goal. And Wonder Egg Priority continues, girls can be equally emotion oriented and goal oriented. Sure, the main girls are fighting because they have the goal of bringing their loved ones back to life, but those goals are motivated by a large range of emotions, from guilt to anger, grief, compassion, and love. 

Being emotion-driven doesn’t mean you’re not goal-driven, and vice versa. In fact, in this case, being emotional drives these girls toward their goals. In other words, none of these traits that the mannequins listed are either “girl traits” or “boy traits”. Being one does not mean you can’t be the other, even if they seem dichotomous at first. Wonder Egg Priority’s diverse cast of multi-dimensional female characters allows it to undermine the mannequins’ conceptualization of gendered roles, refuting the idea that these (or any) character traits should be consider gendered at all.

As an underdeveloped side thought, I think Wonder Egg Priority’s blurring of gendered roles is also well-reflected in its style. There’s been a lot of talk about whether Wonder Egg Priority constitutes a magical girl series, and I think that’s an interesting question deserving of its own essay. Certainly, it does follow the basic formula of the magical girl story: a teenage heroine ensemble wielding magical weapons saves the day. But it also throws out a lot of the conventions you’d expect of a magical girl story – both aesthetically and narratively. Aesthetically, it’s probably missing the component that most would consider the thing that makes an anime a magical girl anime: the full body transformation sequence, complete with the sparkles and the costume and all that. Narratively, the girls are also not really magical girl protagonist material – they’ve got a fair share of flaws, have done some pretty awful things (looking at Kawai in particular; I still love you though), and aren’t exactly the endlessly self-sacrificing heroines you’d expect from a typical magical girl story. On the other hand, the anime also borrows a lot from shonen battle anime. We get these dynamic, well choreographed action sequences full of horror and gore, the focus on the importance of camaraderie between allies (or “nakama”, as shonen anime would call it) exemplified through all the bonding between the main girls during their downtime, and in the necessary co-operation to bring down the Wonder Killers. That said, this anime is not a shonen; the characters, types of conflicts, and themes are quite different from those that you’d find in a typical shonen. The bleeding together of the shonen genre and the magical girl genre, at the very least (and I say this because I think it does way more than just that), reflects Wonder Egg Priority’s interest in rebelling against conventional narratives about girlhood and gender.

[quetzalpapalotl]

So I did another dialogue reading because is so much fun, this time one of the conversations between Optronix and SG Megatron from chapter 11, it's kinda long. Again, full text under the cut.

"So," Megatron said as soon as Optronix leaned back and crossed his arms. "You almost died while I was away."

"I almost killed myself," Optronix corrected. "Let's not downplay what happened."

Megatron became acutely aware of the faint scent of disinfectant hanging in the air around them. "Yes." He stopped for a long time, not sure how to proceed-- or even if this conversation had a productive way to proceed. Finally he settled with a single question: "Why?"

Optronix's optics flashed. "Why?" He repeated, coldness breaking away to red-hot anger. "You condemned me to a lifetime in a cell after everything I've done, and you want to know why I tried to kill myself to get out of it?"

"You don't have a moral compass," Megatron answered. "Surely you didn't want to be executed out of sudden remorse or a sense of fairness for what you've done."

"That's not what this is about, and you know it!" The angry revv of Optronix's engine vibrated enough for Megatron to feel it through his pedes on the floor. Optronix pinched the bridge of his nose above his mask. "Well, there's one thing I'm still right about. The people of Cybertron still know anger and vengeance, and this entire affair is proof of that." He onlined his optics and started resetting the board pieces.

"Oh?" Megatron waited for Optronix to take the chance to keep ranting.

"It's simple. You get to keep your facade of mercy and fairness by sentencing me to a 'mere' life in prison rather than executing me outright. And in exchange, you and your Senate get to keep me in a cage, free to display as a sign of your dominance, keeping me alive to suffer through this farce all the while." Optronix stood from his chair forcefully, but all he did was reach over to Megatron's side of the board to reset his pieces for him before sitting back down.

Megatron picked his words carefully. "That's the way you choose to see it. In reality, the same door of rehabilitation is open to you as it is for every other Autobot. Your imprisonment is not a farce; you are merely refusing to take part in it."

"Please. No one, absolutely no one, actually believes that I can be rehabilitated. Not even that annoying therapist of mine, and especially not you. So if we're all in silent agreement that this entire affair is pointless, what, then, is the purpose of keeping me here? It's because I hate it here, and you lot know that I hate it, which is why you're all too happy to keep me here to rot away." Optronix snapped his first piece into its new position, a sharp sound cutting into silence.

Megatron had nothing to say. Everything Optronix had said was pure realism; vengeance was the primary motivation of those who had voted to keep him alive, and if there were any principles involved, they were merely obligation and equal treatment.

"You know it's true, don't you?" Optronix asked. "Finally, something honest out of you, and it's when you can't even say anything to rebut me."

"You are right," Megatron said. "But so am I. There's nothing stopping you from actually trying to participate in rehabilitation except your own pride. The possibility exists, Optronix. That's the entire point of this."

"There's 'nothing' stopping me..." Optronix rolled his optics and pinched the bridge of his nose again. "Just play the game so that I don't have to keep listening to you talk."

Megatron moved his own piece. It was always going to be this difficult. Asking Optronix of all people to change is like [...]. But I always knew that. That means that this is simply proceeding as I expected it to. In a way, it was a wonder; a thousand years ago, the thought of engaging in any sort of civil conversation with Optimus Prime was a pipe dream, completely impossible. So in that sense, the mere existence of this present moment was a miracle...

"Focus on the game, Megatron," Optronix said in annoyance, his voice cutting through Megatron's thoughts. Megatron surveyed the board and found that Optronix's strategy was far more keen this time; the pretense of averageness was gone, and in its place was a replica of everything Megatron had faced in war, condensed to fit within a single board game. If he kept playing the way he had for the last few moves, he was going to lose, and quickly.

The game continued at a ruthless pace. Optronix was the hardest opponent Megatron had ever matched, using aggressive moves and unpredictable strategies that sprang new traps just when Megatron thought he had outmaneuvered him. He nearly lost several times before finding a last-minute counterplay to preserve himself at the last moment. Optronix’s excitement grew beyond the glow of his optics, pushing against Megatron in the form of his energy field. At last, the game ended… with Optronix’s narrow victory, both of them reduced to their final few pieces.

Optronix leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his helm. "So," he said. "If you are truly genuine in your belief that I can be rehabilitated, answer something for me. In an ideal future where I comply with rehabilitation and do everything required of my sentence... What kind of person do you see me becoming? What place do you see me having in society? Surely you aren't committing to something as arduous as rehabilitating me without some sort of goal.”

Megatron studied a piece between his fingers, imagining that it was one from Orion's board at home. He could nearly feel the texture of the carvings on the pads of his fingers. "Well, Optronix, you were never a good person even before the Matrix got its claws into you, so I'm not expecting you to suddenly become remorseful and charitable." He stayed quiet for a while longer, thinking. "I suppose your career options are rather limited when you're spending life in prison, but if you were to truly change your ways, we could easily give you access to all of Cybertron's archives. You could become a researcher again, and study whatever subjects catch your fantasy. Surely a mind like yours would find something of academic merit, solve it, and share it for the benefit of Cybertron."

"A mind like mine," Optronix repeated. "Why, Megatron, I never knew you could be so flattering."

Megatron gestured at the Turmae board. "Is it flattery, or just a statement of fact? You were renowned for your academic prowess long before you ever became a warmonger, and then I had a million years to find out how inventive you could be."

"Hmm." Optronix lowered his arms and leaned forward on the table instead, optics discomfitingly amused. "So the future you imagine for me is for me to become a simple librarian again, studying from my cell as if nothing was amiss, contributing to Cybertron's peaceful society, just like the one that I destroyed in my rise to power. Poetic."

"Not really." Megatron put his piece down and folded his arms, staring down at the board. "I can't tell you that I have any specific ideas for who or what you could become through rehabilitation. All I've ever really envisioned..." He looked up at Optronix, meeting that ruby gaze. "...was that maybe, one day, you would start caring more about improving life than about hurting other people."

The smile in Optronix's optics made Megatron feel sick. He dropped his own gaze and started resetting the pieces on the board again.

"Let's talk about hypotheticals, then. Say...that you never rebuilt the trans-universal portal, and you never brought me and my Autobots back home. What future would you envision for yourself and your Orion in that alternate outcome?"

Megatron stiffened-- and then relaxed, so quickly that the motion could have been taken for some sort of rapid glitch. "I'm not going to talk about him with you," he answered, but his throat felt tight, and he could hear the tension in his own voice. Of course Optronix had gone for that weakness. Of course Megatron couldn't suppress it.

"I think I can guess." Optronix's voice felt like poison leaking its way into Megatron's processor. "He was an idealistic one, wasn't he? He cared so much about doing the right thing that he was willing to sacrifice anything, including his own happiness-- and everyone else's-- to achieve it. Isn't that right, Megatron?"

"Stop talking and just play the game, Optronix. Or else I'm going to leave."

"’Every person who dies to escape slavery or to save others from enslavement. Autobot, Decepticon. They are all casualties of evil. I mourn for them,’" he quoted. "Oh Megatron, you weren't just deflecting when you told me that your Orion was an amazing public speaker. I almost felt something for a few moments, watching the recordings of him talk."

Where did he-- the news archives. Of course he would have spent time researching just to know how to hurt me. Megatron felt protective, possessive; for all that there were hundreds of public sites documenting Orion's speeches, when Optronix spoke of them, it felt like something private and sacred was being violated by his gaze touching it.

"I'm not kidding, Optronix. Keep trying to provoke me, and I will leave."

Optronix didn't even hesitate, didn't stop staring into Megatron's optics. He just kept talking faster. "What future would someone like you have had with someone like him? Nothing, that's what. If he had stayed here, he would have been turning a blind eye to injustice, ignoring every principle he stands for, all for your sake."

Megatron stood up and turned. His wing nearly clipped Optronix over the head, but he dodged it and then stood as well.

"He would have come to hate you for what you had done. No matter what choice you made-- bringing us back, keeping us away-- the outcome would have been the same. Orion leaves you, or Orion hates you."

You think I don't know that? You think that isn't why I let him go? But Orion wouldn't... Megatron remembered a dirt-streaked Orion shouting, "You should care about what happens to them!" If Megatron hadn't listened to him, then maybe Orion would...

Megatron violently terminated that line of thought. It didn't matter. He had made the decision; he had done the right thing and sent Orion back, not because of some vile mech like Optronix baiting him, but because he had loved Orion. Because he had realized that he was right.

"Goodbye, Optronix," Megatron said spitefully, passing through the forcefield. He withdrew the security chip from subspace, turning his back on Optronix and walking to the door. I can't get rid of this fast enough.

"Retreating again, Megatron? That's what you've always been best at: running away from your mistakes, hoping you could forget about them. Like you tried with me."

A shudder wracked Megatron's whole body. His fist tightened around the security chip, cracking it.

"You'd better not run away from me again, Megatron," Optronix whispered. "Prove that you've changed. Prove that you have a scrap of courage in your whole body and face me."

Megatron drew in a hissing breath and turned, feeling like his plating was peeling away. "I have changed," he gritted out. "But of course you haven't. I was wondering when you would finally make your move."

"It's easy to bury your sins when none remain who care to remember them." If Optronix's mask wasn't up, he would have been smiling cheek to cheek. "Luckily for you, I have a very good memory, and a mind that knows how to discern the truth from a situation."

"Cut the theatrics and spit it out!" Megatron stomped to face Optronix, face-to-face on opposite sides of the forcefield. "What 'truth' do you have to tell me? Please grace me with your understanding."

"Well. The benefit of switching universes was that I got access to all of those Autobots' records, and on top of everything I know about this universe... I must say that I am truly the most enlightened one out of all of us involved. I think I know more about 'Orion' than you do!"

"No, you don't," Megatron spat.

"And I know more about you than he did."

"No, you don’t. Orion did know me.”

"He knew parts of you. The pleasant ones. The ones that he-- and you-- didn't feel uncomfortable thinking for too long about. I know better, though."

"You know me from a time of war. You know the worst parts of me, and you think that they are the truest parts of me, simply because your twisted mind assigns the greatest value to atrocity and hatred, and you believe that the existence of evil nullifies the existence of good."

"Please," Optronix drawled. "The existence of good doesn't nullify the existence of evil, either. But both of you really did a good job ignoring the worst parts of each other, didn't you?"

"No," Megatron said, thinking of being awoken night after night by Orion screaming or sobbing in his sleep.

"Orion Pax was an officer of the law for an authoritarian regime. He was--"

"You think he didn't tell me that already?"

"-- in other words, he was one of the reasons that his universe's Decepticons even had something to fight against. Arresting lower class citizens, serving a Prime-- ha, imagine that, a Prime besides me-- who brainwashed his own citizens... He was to them what I was to you."

"Was." Megatron crossed his arms. "Is this the best you can come up with, Optronix?"

"I read his journal, you know. If he hadn’t been so set in his ways, or if he had tried to talk to his Megatron sooner, he could have prevented the war from ever escalating to the point of destroying Cybertron. He admitted it himself." Optronix raised his hands in a shrug. "How convenient, then, that you pulled him away from that universe that he shared the blame for ruining, and brought him here, where he got a clean slate and no one except his own loyal followers who remembered what he did."

Megatron remembered that, in the early days, when the war wounds had been more fresh, he had heard the murmurs of resentment Orion’s Autobots had said about their Decepticons… and he had thought of it as poetically perfect, that his invention had brought their two factions of nobility together and left the destructive ones to their own devices. Paying evil unto evil. “Yet Orion chose to go back specifically to set those wrongs right. And I still love him, even though he chose the path that walked away from mine.”

"Love such as yours was only able to exist because you stole it from another universe and built it with someone who you didn't know all of, and who didn't know all of you. The two of you made the perfect pair of fools. I hope you enjoyed your time together, because I certainly enjoyed my time with the other you!"

Megatron narrowed his optics, face twitching. He remembered the names Optronix had shouted after the trial. He remembered the casual way Optronix had spoken of violating his other self's mind. The other Decepticons were about to lose their war, just like we were...

"And speaking of that," Optronix continued. "What was even your plan with a trans-universal portal in the first place? Surely you knew that I would continue my crusade in whatever other universe you threw me into. Why are you so bothered by the thought of what I do to mechs from another universe that you'll never meet?"

"It wasn't a decision I made lightly. We were... we were in danger of losing to you, before we built the portal. I wasn't going to risk all of my Decepticons being enslaved by you."

"Yes, well, what happened was that I just ended up enslaving a different universe's Decepticons instead. But at least they weren't yours, right? Were their lives an acceptable trade-off for your life of domestic bliss?"

"This would be a compelling argument if it was coming from someone that actually cared about ethics outside of the desire to play mind games with other people." Megatron's fists were clenched, and he felt hot all over.

"Fifty percent. Over half of the Decepticons in that other universe were killed in our war. Oh... and half of my Autobots, too! Think about it, Megatron! Think of all those lives that never got their chance at redemption. All of those lives that were enslaved to me, who died fighting their own comrades. The former Decepticons of yours who were taken away to another universe who died alone, never to see their friends or their home ever again."

"That's why we decided to build the second trans-universal portal! To set things right again!" Megatron slammed his hands against the forcefield, staring into Optronix's optics as he shouted. "Does change mean nothing to you? Is this why you refuse to even try to make yourself a better person? Because you think that all we can be are our worst mistakes?"

"This isn't about me, Megatron. This is about you." Optronix leaned in until his forehead touched the forcefield, staring at Megatron in a parody of intimacy. His voice began in a whisper, and rose louder and louder with every sentence. "I alone on Cybertron know the extent of what you did. And let me tell you this, because I know no one else ever will: Every action we take has a consequence. The peace and love you bought for yourself were earned from cowardice, built on the deaths of mechs who were never involved in our war. You tried to win the best of both universes for yourself, but the universe detests cowardice. That's why no matter what you did, you were only ever going to lose all of it."

Optronix put his hands over where Megatron's rested and snapped back his mask, baring his face and the ghoulish grin beneath. It could barely be called a grin, for wide strips of his face had been removed, covered only by thin surgical mesh that couldn't conceal the facial mechanisms beneath. His face was made more out of holes than there was any actual face left. Only the teeth were still perfectly visible, and so much of Optronix's face had been cut out that far too much of them showed. The remainder of his face seemed like it would completely split open from the ferocity of his sadistic smile.

"Everything you strived for ended in loss. The universe gives people like you what they deserve, which is why your precious Orion left you, and all you have is me instead!"

[highlifeboat]

An Instant Bond

Alcina was skeptical the experiment would even work. But she couldn't have been more happy that it did. Or: The daughters wake up for the first time and Alcina instantly loves them.

Wholesome Content for once

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Alcina let out a hum as she strolled through the castle halls, the only noise besides her heels echoing off the walls was the harsh winds outside. It had been a particularly arduous day for the Lady of House Dimitrescu. The “family” meeting had run on longer than expected, all because Heisenberg insisted on starting an argument over body counts. Again. She swore that man would have been dead years ago if Mother Miranda didn’t insist on keeping him around. She hardly understood why, it wasn’t as if he was doing anything to benefit their cause besides making disgusting, mindless, animals in that dingy factory of his. None of her “siblings” did as much as she did for their little “family”, the others were hardly needed. Would it really make a difference to get rid of them?

Then again, who was she to judge Mother Miranda’s decisions? It mattered little either way. Alcina was sure she was the favourite of the four. Why else would she have been granted the castle? The vineyard? The everlasting life? The…

The girls.

She had nearly forgotten to check on them. It had been close to a week since Miranda had laid out the bodies on cold slabs for Alcina to observe and in that short amount of time they had been covered in swarms of flies and other bugs. It was a fascinating thing to witness, more so when they had started to change in colour, and while she was still a little skeptical if this process was going to work at all, it made for interesting research. The worst case scenario was that they would just be another batch of mindless zombies, only this time sensitive to the cold.

It came as a surprise when she entered the room they had been placed within the library and found not a writhing mass of insects, but three intact bodies. Almost as if they hadn’t been consumed by flies and roaches for the past six days. The only notion anything had changed was the hair colour. Rather than three brunettes, the eldest one’s hair had become a pale blonde and the youngest’s had turned almost auburn. Even the middle girl’s had taken a darker tone. As if they were completely different people. Alcina grabbed her note book.

“Six days since treatment;

The mass of insects have transformed into human bodies again.”

She looked back over to the girls, faces lit up by the setting sun, and briefly wondered how long it would take them to wake. If they would even wake at all. It would be a shame to have gone through all this trouble for nothing, but she had seen experiments fail before for the slightest reasons. Curious, she approached the table for a closer look at the three. For what seemed like corpses, they certainly looked peaceful.

The thought of if they would have pulses suddenly occurred to her, a rather arbitrary though, but she gently pressed two fingers to the middle girl’s neck anyway. There was... something, though it felt much more like bugs crawling beneath the flesh than an actual heartbeat.

Then, the girl’s eyes snapped open, and Alcina jerked back out of surprise. There was silence as the brunette blinked, squinting at the light, and Alcina was equally as surprised when the other two slowly followed suit. One by one they would blink a few times, then push themselves up into a sitting position before looking at themselves, then each other, then the room, and finally all eyes were set on Alcina. They didn’t seem to remember her, or where they were, or much of anything by the looks of it. Their expressions were filled with nothing but curiosity and confusion, almost like a newborn baby.

Alcina swallowed, the blonde brought her knees up to her chest, the brunette rubbed one of her eyes, and the redhead tilted her head to the side and was the first one to break the silence.

“M… Mama?” She asked innocently, and Alcina’s heart melted.

She was never given the chance to have children of her own before, but now….

“Yes, my little one.” She replied in a soft tone, gently brushing the hair from the redhead and brunette’s faces. They leaned into her touch, while the blonde still seemed to eye her like a cautious kitten from behind a mess of hair. “I am your mother. And I love you all very much.” The two younger girls practically purred as they nuzzled into her.

“Mama.” They both hummed as Alcina focused on the third.

She took a hand off the redhead, though it didn’t stop the girl from pushing her head into her side, and outstretched it to the eldest. “Don’t be shy, my dear.” She coaxed. “Come to mother.”

The blonde girl stared for a moment, then crawled closer, putting her hands around Alcina’s wrist before pressing her cheek against the leather of Alcina’s glove. She didn’t say anything, but gave a content smile at the touch and momentarily closed her eyes.

“My three beautiful daughters….” Alcina mused, more for herself than anything. They stared up at her, eyes wide and filled with curiosity. She’d only known them for only a handful of minutes, and already she had fallen in love with them.

They spent the rest of their first day alive following her around like puppies. She’d given them baths, laughing when the younger two protested the idea while the eldest watched on, wrapped in a towel, provided them each with a set of her old clothes she had grown far too big for, and fed them plates of human remains that they devoured like animals. Once things had settled and it was well into the night, the girls began to yawn, the two younger girls muttering “Sleepy” and “Tired” as they held Alcina’s dress. She had set up rooms for them in advance, but they insisted on staying with her. And how could she say no when they were looking up at her, eyes half closed, like sleepy little angels.

She wouldn't.

She couldn’t.

And that was how she ended up in bed with them snuggling into her, peacefully sleeping while she scribbled one last thing in her note book.

“The girls awoke, and looked at me like newborns. I sense a bond between us, like mother and daughters.

I have already decided their names: Bela, Daniela, and Cassandra.”

She set the book aside, and gave each girl a kiss on the head. They barely stirred, and for the second time Alcina thought of how peaceful they looked.

For as long as she had any say, she would never let anything happen to her beloved daughters.