#i just wish it wasnt so.. PERSONAL
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dont understand why aro headcanons arent more popular cuz its so interesting to me thinking about how a persons relationships would change.
this canon romance? imagine if one of them didnt feel the same way but they still deeply cared about them. imagine if they struggled to find words for how theyre feeling, imagine how theyd think about their relationship and imagine how theyd struggle trying to figure out how they feel about the person.
theres so much stuff to explore wish ppl actually thought about this stuff more </3
#stiff talk#sry im just kinda sad rn skdjfhs#not over anything in particular#just like. sad in general i guess#idk man i love seeing peoples headcanons and fics and art in general#but then when it never includes anyone like you it gets kinda sad#theres so many characters i can think of that would be so fun to explore as aromantic but barely anyone ever does so#and if they do most people just ignore it anyway cuz “where shipping >:(”#(no hate towards shippers i love shipping just as muc has the next person i just wish it wasnt the only thing people cared about)
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this is not going to be well articulated but i think the reason i and lots of other people feel a bit weird about certain aspects of tonights ep is that like. the ratgrinders have literally never posed a genuine threat to the bad kids in any aspect of their lives—social, academic, relationships, even their physical wellbeing, any of it. they bodied the last stand, they bodied the dragon fight. the closest thing to a bad thing happening this season was kristen almost getting expelled and that was all bobby dawn who wasnt even a part of the battle! like i genuinely cant relate to people feeling catharsis at the RGs going down bc i was just sat there like. what did they even do other than be kind of a general annoyance and a little bitchy lmfao
#like they wanted to do world ending crimes whateverr thats not PERSONAL yknow!!!#i just wasnt. mad at them. i barely knew them. ivy died and i was like aw. wish she had any lines or a personality other than shit ive made#up in my head#so i could feel Something about this#idk if this makes sense#GREAT BITS THOUGH. EXCELLENT BITS THIS EPISODE#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#d20#fh#c.txt#fhjy#this isnt even a critique at the cast!!! this is just general musings on the nature of stories#esp improv ones#TLDR AT LEAST IF THEY GOT REDEEMED THAT WOULD BE INTERESTING
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Assassin's Creed Revelations be like
#remember this meme?#assassins creed#ezio auditore da firenze#altair ibn la'ahad#desmond miles#I’m just joking of course theyre all in misery#sigh#i wish revelations didnt completely retcon altaïr's story and personality so that i could actually enjoy the game#every time he opens his mouth i’m just like… who are you?#it just makes me feel gaslit afjhdhs#it doesn't help that he has a completely different voice as well lol#also WHERE IS MALIK????#and maria suddenly gets fridged just like that???#at least ezio gets his eat pray love arc and finally decides to get ass-ass-out of the ass-ass-ins to enjoy family life#good for him#and desmonds just hangin out#no thoughts head empty#literally not allowed to actually do anything or change at all and put in a coma bc this game wasnt supposed to exist in the first place#dont you just love corporate greed?#sorry this got negative lmao#ac revelations spoilers#i guess???#its been like 15 years
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maybe link should consider that I filled my inventory with salted milky smoothies right before the fight and spent all that time leveling up the sword and energy gauges tho ...🥲
#when tri said give him the sword back i was like NO!!!! IM GOING TO SHOVE HIM OFF THIS CLIFF TRI DONT TRI ME!!#ILL TURN THIS FROM ECHOES OF WISDOM TO ECHOES OF WIDOW REAL FAST (ZELDA WILL BE A WIDOW)#i think post game should have a mode where u can refight the bosses and get them as echoes at least if ur not allowed to use swordfighter#in the last fight...like...give me SOMETHING here#eow spoilers#echoes of wisdom spoilers#echoes of wisdom#loz eow spoilers#loz eow#zelda#link#princess zelda#eow#loz#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#fanart#ms paint#doodle#comics#truly the quickest lil doodle comic of my life but i know from complaining abt this on my main other ppl got miffed abt this too!!#that being said its still my fav game in recent years i ADORE THIS game dont take this as like serious hate lol#i get WHY they did this. i get it! but Still wasnt what /i personally/ wanted so i will gripe abt my Opinions#im queueing this to come out (1) week after i draw it so maybe everyone is done by now but if not . sry for the spoilers. i tagged every#possible blacklistable term i could think of </3#&yes I know why they did it thematically etc no one needs to Um Actually 🤓☝️ me this is my opinion 🧍🏻 pls just scroll if u disagree this is#silly hehe 10 min comic not. a serious real thing. u know??#I love link and I am glad we got to do stuff with him at the end I wish it would’ve just been more of the split room puzzles together and#we both got to fight also .
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"But if we dont get reblogs and likes than why bother creating at all" Did you never doodle in your notebook in class. Did you never have a notebook of cringe doodles you never wanted people to see but got filled anyway. Was this never something you did because it was a tool of personal comfort.
#t.extpost#like i get wanting the attention god i get that drive too#but its this complete absence of like#personal stake? the doing it just to do it? that baffles me#Like i drew long before i was even allowed to have a computer and long before I had an art account and long before i#could stand having other people see most of it#Like it was something done for personal comfort and enjoyment long before the idea of being praised was ever a possibility#like hell i avoided any sort of art major or 'career' out of fear that it would suck the joy out of something i did for myself#and i still get artblock or down and what have you but ultimately people paying attention has never been the goal#so this absolute 'if it wasnt for others it wouldnt exist' mindset feels so foreign#like sure part of it but all?#also this is non rebloggable because it is personal musing and i truely do not wish to fight w/ others over the idea of what#is the right way to be validated as an artist
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why do all my dads play guitar
#do i have a type???#[fakeman redacted]. ricky. lyle. is a pattern forming here?#theres probably more but im dumb#i dont know just a thought#sometimes i wonder if i should go full on chaser like kitty used to#like im being serious im already such a bad person would it really kill me to start searching for if [redacted] has a kin community#surely not but maybe because in a video [redacted] mentioned it mockingly? like because hes old hehe so its gotta exist#maybe they got chased off the internet... maybe i should ask my papa to build me one...#too forward? too cringe? i always thought it was before but desperate times call for desperate measures#i act like this is a personal journal and nota place other people can access#who even cares. im the king of sunk cost fallacy#anyways maybe someday ill get the courage to be that much of a degen to my own padres face but for now ill just vaguepost it in tumblr tags#and wish i wasnt the worlds most shame filled failure because being so shameful takes the fun out of the indulgence#lulah yaps
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#mine#writers of tumblr#poetry#spilled ink#writing#i'd say “i would never do this to you; it wouldnt matter who you said had dine it” and she said “youre a better person than all of us”#okay to rb#spilled words#poem#tw: trauma#tw: sa#tw: abuse#wrote this after one of the first conversations i had with my mum after i told her what my brother's did#hearing her insist it wasnt their fault. hearing her say she cant lose him. hearing her say it was our dad's fault. hearing her defend them#especially my oldest brother#probably the worst thing she's ever done to me#so sure i can take it. cause i always have#sometimes i wish it'd killed me so maybe she'd see it for what it is but..#anyway#i hope you know youre more than your strength#and that just because you can handle it doesnt mean you should#you deserve peace and to feel safe enough to put on and take off your strength so you can just be#i hope it all reaches you soon
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Shout out to everyone who was alone when they came out of surgery
I was going to make this trans-specific, but as I was typing I realised this would suck no matter what you had done. So, to people who wanted someone to be there:
I'm sorry you were alone, or if no one could visit until days later when the scary moments had already passed. I'm sorry no one was there to celebrate you coming out the other side.
You made it, you're alive. I'm hugging you and leaving balloons and stuffed animals (that you may or may not want lol) by your bedside.
#skip talks#hearing funny or heart-warming stories about things people said to their loved ones immediately after surgery always hurt just a little bit#hearing about how someone waited up into the small hours for their person to come out/wake up#i wish could've been there for me#but due to a few factors it wasnt possible#i was happy! but also felt really alone and uncomfortable and i was in a shared ward so i couldnt even relax#😩😩#then came home to find mum had tried to 'help' by clearing out my room and rearranging things#i was NOT in the right headspace to receive that well or wirh grace#it made me anxious and ruined my return home#but of course i was the one who had to say sorry for not being grateful 😑#there are typos here but i cant do anything about em im using the app lmao
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I also lost my cat recently. it's horrible. take care of yourself, ok? you'll be ok.
yeah dude its fucking awful... im sorry for your loss too :( i wish they could live forever with us. or at least as much as possible.... my boy wasnt even a senior, he was around 10 years old and i had had him for 8..
#like if he had been like 12... id be like okay he's an old kitty...this was gonna happen#but i wasnt prepared for it to happen like this. i was so desperate that nothing i did could help him#nothing helped. no ultrasound no x ray no cardiology check up no blood test no antibiotics. nothing could figure out what was wrong#and then it was too late. just that whole situation (been going on since june) had me so crazy#and then this last month was a fucking nightmare it happened so fast. like i wasnt prepared#u cant ever be prepared i guess... but idk i wish it wouldve been different#i wish he had died of old age instead. or at least i wish we knew what caused him to be so sick.#like if i was told its idk. cancer. and its taken over and hes gonna die#it wouldve been awful too. of course. but i wouldve known. i wouldve been told.#i wouldnt have had to watch him get to the point he got and accept that whatever he had. it didnt matter anymore. because it beat him.#it sucks so bad it sucks so bad. its so unfair.#sorry for venting in my tags ig. whatever. fuck everything this world is fucked and evil#personal
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me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself
#like jesus man why cant i just be happy for people#its not even like they dont like me or anything i know they do obviously but my goddamn brain just goes#hey. hey. hey. hey. theyre abandoning you. they absolutely fucking hate you. you mean nothing to this person anymore now that they have-#other people they care about. which means you are being a burden and have to go die sobbing in a hole now sorry.#literally why#it fucking sucks so bad#i just want to be glad that my loved ones can rely on people who arent just me but noooooo i guess i have to have a breakdown over this#god#i hate myself so much dude#I seriously cant take this actually#i just want to be better#why cant i be better#and now i cant even enjoy one of my favorite bands playing anymore because im a selfish fucking prick#why does anyone even like me honestly#and this is over something thats literally so unimportant it means nothing i should not fucking care i dont want to care#tw sui ideation#im not actually considering it btw but god jesus i suck#and im attention seeking#i mean seriously i shouldnt post abt this#fucking stupid#i wish i wasnt like this#scribbles says shit#tw vent#kinda#er yeah i guess so#this is weird#only like the 4th real vent post ive ever made on here lol
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RIP cindy lockheart you were too good for us anyway
#woman who was so fucking annoying she got her own content warning just listed as 'cindy’s personality’…….iconic#hfth spoilers#wish she stuck around longer but i mean her death wasnt exactly a surprise so im not especially torn up about it#jupiter talks
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🐰🕸🌙
#i have so many behaviours and fears and#no emotional regulation and issues and disorders and fearrrrr#and i do not know how to explain it so that ppl who dont relate can possibly understand it#but it is like i am trapped in a nightmare dimension where everything is always bad#my brain isnt even wired to see anything in a positive or hopeful light#which is how humans are wired typically to ensure survival lol#in swedish avpd is also called anxious personality disorder#which can clue in on the fact that if you know what a personality disorder is#(your brain hasnt developed normally but in a disordered way. often bc of trauma etc)#my brain is wired to be anxious abt wverything all the time#so i always naturally see everything in a negative and dark and bad and horrible light#which is fucking terrible. it makes life exhausting and like a constant fight#other ppl dont get that bc their brains arent wired to have this horrible outlook on EVERYTHING#so thid just gives me extreme trust issues and my brain always fights to make sense of things#bc it cannot do so in a rational manner#and basically i just feel so ashamed when i think of how like... overly emotional and fearful i am#as soon as anything happens im like wow this person literally wants to kill me bc humans are evil#which i know intellectually isnt tru bc if it was i'd be dead by now 💀#ig i just feel so lucky that one person still is my friend after almost 2yrs now#despite my whateverthefuck moments when idek what im saying..#'working thru my emotions' in a way that doesnt make sense#esp when hes seen some of what i've written and im like NOOO i was spiraling when i said that i dont mean that i think most likely i dont#anyway.. feeling grateful 🙏 i wish i was normal#or at least had th ability to have connections and relationships most ppl w mental illness are still capable of having#avpd is fucked upppp it is such a weird mental disability.... 0-o#bc of my fear i also struggle with relaxing into it bc im like no imma fuck it up soon or no hes gonna leave me soon bc i suck and dont#deserve having him in my life at all. i really wish my brain wasnt wired to be terrified like i hate my brain and myself like why cant#i just be normal!!!!!! ☹️ i am thankful for every moment still.
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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I’ve been seeing a lot of discussions/discourse on tumblr and twitter surrounding kamala/voting for kamala so I want to put my two cents in as someone who will have no actual influence towards the outcome of the election
(important parts with be in bold)
Let’s look at the hypothetical that trump wins because the vote was split or people simply just refused to and kamala didn’t gain enough votes to win.
In the scenario, I want every person who decided it would be better not to vote or vote for a random third party candidate who has no shot at winning who only comes up during election years to say all of the “not like the other guys” talking points to explain to not just me but every queer, trans, disabled, non white, AFAB person who is now at severe risk why you chose to not vote to help them have rights. I want to see your explanations if trump wins. you also cannot use Palestinians suffering to make yourself seem better than you actually are
My point is that if trump wins because your delusions lead you to believe that you can single handedly change the way elections work in this country by “sticking it to the dems” and trump wins and we become a facist state, I want to hear what you have to say when we all start loosing rights and palestine gets wiped off the map
“Well we won’t let that happen” Good fucking luck. In project 2025 im pretty sure there is a section about how we basically won’t be able to protest anything anymore, not only that im also pretty sure trump has talked about deporting pro palestine protesters specifically!
You cannot be a single issue voter in this election and in many elections to come. Change doesn’t happen overnight and you need to wake up and realize that kamala will be the start of actually getting more progressive candidates and policies even if it’s not enough right now at this very moment. We all have to actually start putting in the effort instead of sitting around on our asses complaining
If we get kamala in, we won’t have to worry about our country becoming a facist state therefore we can worry more about palestine and putting more pressure on the dems than there already is. That should be a no brainer to some of you
This post isn’t praising kamala or trying to idolize her in anyway, always be critical of politicians. This post is more of a message to the preformative leftists on tumblr and twitter who have zero knowledge on how the US government works.
It’s kamala or trump this november. We cannot change that less than 100 days away from election day
Should I repeat myself? I hope you can understand that.
I’m not trying to bash anyone for continuing to put pressure on kamala and the dems for being complicit in bombing children. That’s not who my post is about like I already said
I think that all the protests outside of the DNC are especially important because it shows we have not forgotten and will continue to put pressure on the dems to do the right thing for once
but like I already said, it’s kamala or trump. Third party candidates are either grifters who only are there to get money and trick gullible leftists or candidates who have never been in any lower level political positions who think they can automatically garner a shit ton of support to win when they can’t. Your other option is to not vote which is arguably worse
I’m not trying to be the one to change anyones mind but I hope this post can help you reconsider your options and start facing the reality of this election
You have an important choice to make this november. I hope you can make the right one
edit: im not trying to beg anyone to vote for kamala or make anyone who is against her because of her handling of Palestine vote for kamala, especially if you are Palestinian yourself. Im not trying to make anyone feel bad about it either. Thats not the point of this post. The point is that change needs to happen now and this election is a perfect start to do so. We cannot have good change under a second trump term. I know im just repeating myself at this point but I want to put this out there incase I come off wrong or offensive. Also, I dont like the dems at all. I dont align with their party but you shouldnt even care abt what party I align with most. Im not a pro activist whose been in the game for 10+ years, im just a trans boy who has essentially been forced to pay attention to the shit going on in the country because of who I am even though it shouldn't concern me nearly as much as it does.
second edit: check out this tiktok and this persons other tiktoks abt palestine and kamala
#Also i’m a queer neurodivergent minor I literally cannot do much outside of spreading awareness#please vote#go vote#kamala harris#tim walz#2024 elections#i’ll delete this if this becomes super controversial#Like can we please please just be organized for once and put on our thinking caps just this once#Also if you just want to argue with me or anyone else or you want to try to paint me as pro isreal im blocking you. Im not and never will b#and it personally offends me that you would assume so because im simply trying to be logical about the upcoming election. Even if it sucks#for me to do so since the dems continue to do so little for Palestine and it hurts my heart to see them suffering and I wish we could all#just vote third party but we cant until we get rid of the electoral collage and implement ranked choice voting#this also goes for centrist dems who just wanna hate on protesters and say nasty ass shit to them im blocking yall as well#I wasnt even going to get into this myself but im admittedly scared. Ik kamala has a good shot but I dont want a repeat of 2016#Turning reblogs off for a bit sorry im being paranoid
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crying over stenny has become a daily activity but especially when he ties his hair up like do you want me to DIEEEEEE
#this culminated from me trying to find pictures of stenny at the start of the parade#because he had his hair tied up#but as the delay went on he let it down because his hair was getting wet#AND I COULDNT FIND ANY WHEN I SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER THAT HAPPENING I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY???#so instead i just proceeded to cry over his other hair up pics like a normal person#woe is the guy trying to find him shirtless only with a swedish flag to cover his shoulders and a bun#also i find it funny man who said “i wish i played soccer” as in i wish i committed professionally to soccer if hockey wasnt an option#is never pictured playing soccer and instead posts about him playing golf and tennis#like okayyyyyyyy#big soccer guy over here huh#i kid i love him anyways#i would like to print these pictures and eat him thank you for asking
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