#i just wanted to doodle myself in the cool jacket
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epiicaricacy-arts · 1 year ago
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taking places
more fatui lyney ft. arlecchino bc unfortunately i am obsessed and also have been listening to early p!atd songs once again hehe haha
read the “behind the design” for my fan design here
close ups
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sketch + rough colour map
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very short process discussion utc because for once i have very little to say!
this one kinda came outta nowhere. i was just doodling some angles and i turned one into lyney and not long after i found myself drawing my fatui design again 🥲 the premise was totally on accident though since the angle the face was at meant his hair covered the only visible eye and i didn’t wanna restart
nothing too special style-wise either. i just wanted to do some painting so i didn’t put much thought into composition as i usually do. wanted to experiment with some greener colours since green is a color im very unfamiliar with and i saw some art on pinterest with very limited palettes that had green in them. i noticed that for drawings under really bright lights the artists tend to lean towards green, which is cool!! i hope i pulled that effect off, i think i did pretty well with this piece 👍
misc notes would just be me experimenting with limiting my rendering, meaning i put details in the shadows and tried keeping the bright areas relatively flat. originally arlecchino had her jacket but i took it off since it was too complicated ☹️
also i have no idea how i pulled off that one sleeve with the frills and i’m very pleased with it. 👍
thank you for reading expect some horrors soon 🫶
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galacticsuperstitions · 8 months ago
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the minds of a lab at three different points (LONG rambling under the cut)
I am constantly in awe of the analyses people put out about Arknights on this website. I feel like my own interpretations are somewhat lacking as a result, but I was confident enough to post this, at least. I've had this idea for a long time now, I think since Lone Trail released, but I've only been able to make the time for it now.
Rhine Lab has so many fucked up elements and people involved in it that it's actually impressive. They were really gunning for "most unethical scientific consortium" reward. Really, though, it's just the result of Kristen gunning for her parents' wishes. All of the directors want something and all of those somethings are different.
Things I want to mention or just feel proud of (allowing myself this because of how long this took):
-I was originally planning on crossing out Saria's surname to reflect that we still don't know what it is in canon, but I don't know why whoever has this poster would do that, so I just kept it in. Hermon refers to Mount Hermon, which Saria's name apparently derives from. Technically, her name here is the same thing twice. Oh well.
-I don't know who this poster belongs to. It's just in some Rhine Lab tech's personal desk, I guess? Doesn't explain the doodles, though. Maybe they were bored and feeling spiteful about the potential job insecurity of your boss being comatose in space.
-I realized only while making this post that I made Saria's, Muelsyse's, and Jara's doodles reference Kristen, yet Kristen's only references herself and her parents. Completely unintentional, but appropriate nonetheless.
-I am so happy with how the poster came out. It makes up for how hard I had to fight Canva for it to come out like that. Here it is in full if you want to look at it closely for whatever reason. (writing an actual description for this thing was fun!)
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-Andenate doesn't actually have a face under the sticky note. That's why he's still Mike Wazowski'd in the poster png. I didn't feel like drawing one since it wouldn't be shown in the finished pieces anyway. His jacket is just the same as Magallan's.
-Ifrit's picture board was a literal last-minute addition. It's why the images are sketches rather than being in the lineless style of the poster. It feels fitting, though, so I'm keeping it that way. Seeing Ifrit all grown up and doing so well in Lone Trail was wonderful. There's something in her being happy and healthy and also surrounded by not just her loved ones and friends from Rhine Lab, but also people outside of it. She's cultivated her life to be as fulfilling as she wants it to be, and while there is still room to grow, she has plenty of support and insight from others for it to do so. I may be misrepresenting her a bit (the sleepiness doesn't help), but man. I love Ifrit. She's so cool.
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two-clowns · 1 year ago
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appreciation post to bamsara<3
hi :D We are only 2 friends who have followed the work of @bamsara from the shadows (English is not our first language so there may be incoherence in this text xD) it has taken us time but finally we are encouraged to publish our small works inspired by the great work of Bamsara as a way of thanking them for sharing their great talent
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clown1 : Solar lunancy is a fanfic that me and my friend love a lot and well for their birthday I wanted to give them the bound fanfic as a present, however as English was not our language I took the time to translate the fanfic to Spanish. I planned the gift 5 months before clown 2's birthday and the translation took me about 3 months, I read the fanfic several times when I was translating it and even so it had several mistakes because time was running out, but I had a lot of fun reading and translating the fanfic, and the emotion on clown 2's face was worth it.
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clown2: after the beautiful gift from clown one (who introduced me to fic and bam's art) I decided to go all out and make the y/n solar lunacy jacket it was a somewhat chaotic process because I decided to dye the fabric myself, hand paint it and put the jacket together but after a few months and a lot of trial and error I think I managed to do justice to the design bam made and since I had some time left over I decided to make the freddy ears to complement the jacket.
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(I had also given her the name tag as a gift a long time ago, so the cosplay is complete)
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two clowns in cosplay waiting for the fnaf movie to start.
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clown 1 : I met bam when I entered the Invader Zim fandom thanks to his fanfic "Cryptids, Emotions And The Possible End Of The World" I loved and still love this fic for how funny and cool it is, being this fanfic the first one I read in the fandom as well as being one of my favorites within it. However, just after bam wrote "A moment" I decided to make a small animatic drawing several scenes from the fic. The process was fun, as such I really like to make small animatics (although I don't have the same time as before). I made the animatic some time ago but after I made it I couldn't bring myself to send it until today xdd (I never knew if bam saw it).
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clown2: a little fanart I made of zim and dib from Cryptids, Emotions And The Possible End Of The World as a gift for clown1's birthday
bamb also dragged us into the colt fandom lmao
clown 1 doodles :
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clown 2 doodles :
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moonpie016 · 5 months ago
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*Crawls out of the dark matter that consumes the wretched.* :]
Idk what that was about. My limbs hurt. Anyway!
Because of someone's wonderful question ( @coelacanth-designs (idk if you wanna be tagged) COUGH!
HMSsonas. Explanation for each of em'. Yay.
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Now yes they still hold some aspects of the originals, but I think they look cool.
💜So first we have Heart, I don't know what to really call any of them. (Figure it out later).
He's more or less literally the emotions, he loves too much yet so very little at times. Mostly depends on who he finds comfortable. Anxious, just stands there confused on what to do, how to approach, just anything. And overall has a kid like attitude to some things, not really feeling all that mature in some aspects. He also can easily hate whenever things happen that are...not to his liking.
His outfit could be based on something I wore before, like gowns or something. His eyes, when either under extreme emotions or literally heartbreak, can split and probably damage his vision. They're all hairy. That's cool. And purple is pretty.
💙Ah yes, the Mind, he's.... More of the critic and always questioning why or how something works, not to the extent that Heart does in a worried sense. But in a wonder, wanting to take in the knowledge of others. But he's easily irritated. Just by noises, they're all annoyed by sudden loud noises. As I am myself (they are supposed to reflect me. Sooo/lh) His outfit is basically what I wear sometimes in colder weather, jacket with whatever. No jewelry though. But he has it because it's nice. And uses big complex words for no reason but because he thinks it sounds good.
❤️Seeds, Hm? Oh Soul, they... are basically more closer to me. Funny shirt with random pun/design, baggy pants (depending) always carrying a bag of stuff. Comfort bag I guess. Little worm on a string and dinosaur, (I don't have actually, but have had before.) Soul is in his own head, always distracted but tries to stay on task, also an emotional being, having curious ideas, walks in a funny manner. He doesn't really care about how he looks, he just wants comfort. But if he doesn't care, others will. Soo social anxiety get inside the boi. (Not because of his attire, but of being told to do things normally). He says whatever on the top of their head, though he's weary to say anything. He also has a more feminine build then the rest of the two, Mind has a bit more masculine build, Heart has more of a chubby build. But Soul? He's skinny. To a degree. But he doesn't mind it.
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Here's alt stuff, like without the text and some rabbit ears, cus rabbits are cool. And some doodles. :] ⬇️
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Think that's all for now, uh if I come up with nicknames for them, I will. But until then *THROWS THEM*
and Myst is still the "Whole" of the group. Kinda.
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luna0713hunter · 11 months ago
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Can you write more prompts for Zoro pleaseee? Thank you:))
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Author's note : haha!!!i was actually gonna write a new fic for zoro when i saw your request!!!as always,ask and you shall receive!
College love
Zoro Roronoa x reader
Summary : new semester,new classes,new classmates and a new love
Warnings : none,College au (my favorite trope),studying and late night talks, gender neutral ,maybe more parts?,not me in the middle of exam season and dying from overworking myself
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
College sucks.
Everyone tells you college is great;its a place full of new experiences,a new life. Having coffee with friends after lectures and studying together,or simply doodling in your notebook as the professors talk about gods know what.
But as you sip your third cup of coffee that night and rub your eyes while yawning,you glance down at the remaining pages you have to go through before your exam in two days,before you groan and bang your head to the table.
Its exam season,and you're currently sitting in the library at 3:04 am.
College sucks so bad.
You know you have tomorrow to study as well,but between working part time job at a near the campus cafe, and going to lectures,you barely had any time to study.
You stared at your empty cup of coffee and sighed before standing up;then you guess its time to get a refill
"wow,you look like shit."
You dont raise your head from the desk as you groan at your friend.
"hello to you too,Nami."
Nami drops his bag next to you with a 'Thump' and settles down. You feel her hand rub up and down your back (almost awkwardly) and through your misery you manage to crack a smile;being comforting is like a physical torture for your ginger friend.
"did you pull another all nighter?"
Slowly,your head turns in her directly and you narrow your eyes.
"not everyone can be both gorgeous and smart effortlessly like you,Nami. Us, lowly humans,have to choose one." You ignore her eye roll and continue, "and i choose the one that can get me a good job in the future."
"looks can be pretty useful too,honey."
"I'm going to choke you."
"be my guest."
You're too busy to bicker that you dont even notice the door of the class opening and a new person stepping inside. Just as Nami's about to wrap her arm your neck and choke you instead, that's when your eyes land on the new person in the class.
And your breath stops all together.
The first thing that catches your eyes is his green hair. The man is tall,and a mess of green hair making his brown eyes stand out more. There are three golden piercings on his left ear. His black leather jacket looks expensive,and you dont need to see the key to guess that he's probably owns a motorcycle..
"y/n!" You realize you've been staring shamelessly at the man and suddenly whip your head in Nami's direction.
"Nami!" You grip her shoulders and shake her violently, "who's that?!why havent i seen him around?do you know him??is he single???!!"
Nami shoulders off your hands and looks at you like you've grown a second head.
"He's Zoro Roronoa. Our classmate. You haven't seen him cause he almost never shows up at lectures. What the hell is wrong with you exactly?"
"what's wrong with me is that the man is drop dead gorgeous," you frown at her, "and geez girl. How do you know so much about him?"
"cause he's my "kinda friend". We go out drinking together sometimes."
"WHAT?!"
Your shriek is so loud,that when you turn around, you see mr.gorgeous is eyeing you with annoyance.
Great. Your new crush thinks you're crazy.
You duck your head as your cheeks burn with embarrassment. Nami rubs your back sympathetically and you groan tiredly.
"want me to introduce you to him?"
"hell no," you whine and rest your cheek against your desk; letting the surface cooling down your heated skin, "he obviously hates my guts now."
"to be fair,Zoro hates everybody's guts."
"its just a crush Nami," you flash her a smile, "it'll go away eventually."
Unfortunately,it in fact,doesnt go away eventually.
After your embarrassing moment in the classroom,you seem to run into Zoro awfully alot; Whether it be getting a coffee from the near campus cafe,or working your shift there,you seem to always see him.
Zoro liked his coffee black,that was no surprise. The first time that you surved him the black hell,he hadnt even batted an eye at your shakey hands or your stutter.
And you were certain that he had forgotten all about you.
Among the finals creeping close and closer,and with you drowning yourself under your books until morning before going back to your lectures or job,you had completely forgotten all about him.
So when you drop your head on your text book at almost 4 am and try hard not to burst into tears or having a mental breakdown in the almost empty library,you almost scream when a warm can of coffee touches your cheek.
Your head snaps up,and your mouth parts into a small scream that soon gets an ugly glare from the librarian. You shoot her an apologizing look,before turning your head back to the person in front of you.
Zoro freaking Roronoa,holds the coffee in his hand and gives you an unimpressed annoyed look.
"why are you always so loud?"
You dont answer;your mouth hangs open from the shock,and you blink a few times to make sure you're not hallucinating.
"what," you clear your throat, "i,uh, excuse me?"
Zoro rolls his eyes and sits down in front of you while dropping his own backpack on the table. He then slides the drink in front of you and while folding his arms across his chest,he eyes you for a second before looking away.
"you look like a mess. Figured you needed some coffee," he gives you a displeased look from the corner of his eyes, "or some sleep."
Your hands wrap themselves around the warm can;and a small laugh escapes your dry lips.
"you think i can sleep with all these books?i can barely manage between lectures and my part time job with only two hours of sleep as it is!" And for some reason,your stupid brain decides that its a great idea to cry in front of your crush;as if you haven't embarrassed yourself before. So your lower lip starts to wobble,and you let out a small sniffle.
There's a moment of silence;where neither of you say a word. With you starting to finally breakdown,and Zoro just glaring at the textbooks like they had personally offended him. Finally,after a while,you hear him sigh and look up at him with your blurry vision.
"... I'll help you."
"what?"
Another sigh.
"i said, I'll help you study. Im familiar with this stuff,so it'll be nothing."
You let out a loud gasp and stand up from your sit .
"Seriously?!wont you need that time to study?!"
"helping you makes me remember these stuff. It'll be alright."
And when you hold his hands in his,you grin so widely that you feel your cheeks hurting. You shake his hands and laugh lightly.
"thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!"
"yea yeah." He shakes off your hands and stands up,and amongst your joy,you manage to catch a small smile on his lips. Zoro flings his backpack on his shoulder and walks away. He gives you one last look and says "go home and rest for now. See you tomorrow."
And suddenly,the world doesnt seem so bad. College doesn't suck,and your crush, apparently,doesnt hate your guts after all.
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hannahssimblr · 7 months ago
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That evening after I drive home the house is a battlefield. As soon as I let myself into the hallway the sounds of some escalating conflict are sweeping through from the kitchen, but it doesn’t surprise me. It’s been this way for months. I just toss my car keys onto the table and head upstairs. 
“Think about the way you make me live!” My mother shrieks as I shuffle through my desk drawer to retrieve my iPod and the noise cancelling headphones I use for my laptop. My dad says something in response, his rumbling tones infuriatingly calm, unfazed. He always speaks to her with such a patronising air of reasonableness, so honestly it’s no wonder she’s going insane.
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“Ivy?” I knock on her bedroom door, “I’m back. Can I come in?”
Her voice is quiet within, “Yeah.”
“Hey, what’s up?” The noise from downstairs is louder I come inside, but Ivy’s room is right above the kitchen. I know she has been listening. She is perched on her bed kneading a corner of her blanket in her little hands, body tense and static like a startled cat. 
Mom raises her voice even further in shocked outrage, “What are you saying? Do you regret our children?”
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“I just bought a cool new album,” I say, “do you want to hear it?”
“What’s it called?”
“Contra. You remember Vampire Weekend, right?”
“Um...”
“You liked their last album.”
“Did I?”
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“Here,” I climb to my knees in front of her and plop the headphones onto her head. They’re big on her and want to slip down towards her jaw until i carefully adjust them while she watches me with interest. Everything I do is interesting to Ivy, even my thumb circling the dial on my iPod as I navigate to the first song on the album. I grin into her face, “can you hear me?”
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She nods, so I crank it up, “how about now?”
She gasps, “It’s so loud! I can’t hear you!” 
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“Good,” and I sit right by her, on the floor by her bed while she lays back and tries to hum along to songs she's never heard before. She does it in mom's car every time the radio comes on, which is apparently irritating, but I don't think so. She's a musical kid who is just trying to work something out in her head.
As I listen to her weird little melodies I doodle with a ballpoint pen I found in the pocket of my jacket. I've flipped to the back page of one of her school copy books, and I know she doesn’t mind, she can bring them into school and tell her classmates that she did them if she likes. 
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Every now and again pieces of the argument are clear enough to understand, mostly mom’s side. “You do nothing around here, what are you talking about?” She screams, “You just sit in your office all night and-” some muffled aggression. Then at one point she brings up Fergal from work, which is a poor choice, because it really sets dad off. I know this because I finally hear a shocked “how dare you!” from him, which seems fair, actually. 
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Fergal from work is her boyfriend. Or was, maybe, I don’t ask. All I know is that Fergal from work exists and that my mother was having an affair with him for, like, two years or something. I googled him when I first started hearing his name thrown around like daggers through the rooms of this house, and he’s pretty much how you might imagine a Fergal. He’s older, weedier and less good looking than my father, with hair so fine and light that his eyebrows are hardly visible and a hairline like the tide has gone out on it, but his smile is sort of kind. His LinkedIn picture has him smiling broadly and the lines on his face and around his eyes suggest that he’s spent a good chunk of his life doing just that. Smiling. Aside from likely being nice, he’s probably ten times more interesting than Christopher too, which has to be the real selling point. I bet that listens to her when she talks to him and makes her laugh, if she’s still capable of that, so I can’t really be angry with her about Fergal. I might have done the same thing as she did if I ever felt so trapped.  
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I must be listening too obviously because Ivy slips the headphones off. “What are they saying?”
“Stupid shit, Ives, it’s not interesting.”
She pauses and says in a very small voice, “Do you think they’ll get a divorce?”
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I turn to her, “They might. But I don’t think it’d be such a bad idea. Do you?”
She shrugs. 
“At least if they divorced they’d stop fighting.” At least eventually.
“They fight a lot,” she whispers, “I hate it.”
“Yeah, same.”
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“What will happen to us? What if neither of them wants us?”
This surprises a laugh right out of me, “It's not like they'll have a choice. Did you think we’d get thrown into an orphanage or something?”
“Maybe.”
“I think you’ve been reading too many of those Jacqueline Wilson books about the kids from broken homes. Next time we go to the library we’ll get you something a bit less sad and tragic, do you think?”
She shrugs, but I'll get her into Goosebumps yet. I am determined.
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“You want to know what I think?”
 A nod.
“I think them being divorced would actually be fine, because at least they wouldn’t be doing this all the time,” I tilt my head toward the floor, shaking with the reverberation of the slamming patio door, “And also we probably wouldn’t have to be around dad half as often.”
Ivy looks conflicted, “Well I don’t not want a dad.”
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I almost tell her that Christopher isn’t that interested in his role as her father and the way that he interacts, or more accurately fails to interact with her, is not normal, even if it’s what she’s used to, and that I bet Fergal would be a better dad, but I figure it’s probably not the wisest to mention any of that. 
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“He’ll still always be your dad, just like how mom will always be your mom and I’ll always be your brother, you know? No matter what happens or how things change. You're made from him, you know? That doesn't just go away.”
“I don’t want change.”
“Everything changes, all of the time.”
“I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to. Things move on whether you like it or not, and you have to accept it.”
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Her eyes fill with tears, “I don’t want you to move away either.”
“No, c’mon,” I scramble onto her bed and pull her into my chest, “I know, but I can’t stay here forever, I’m an adult now, I’m going to have to go, but it’s not right away…” 
“Yes, but soon.”
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I hesitate, “Oh, Ivy, it’s, like-”
“And then it’ll be just me, and everything will be different,” as tears overflow I understand that it’s not just about this, it’s about everything, all of the chaos and the disruption that I cannot fix. I just shush her and rock her side to side. It’s hard for her, but I refuse to lie to her about what might happen. 
“I need to move away, I feel like I don’t have another option.”
“But why?”
“I- I think you’ll get it when you’re older, maybe. It's just very important to me.”
“I won’t see you anymore.”
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“Yes you will, maybe not as much, but you’ll get used to it really quickly. And imagine if I went to college somewhere really exciting, you could come and see me and we could do all kinds of fun stuff, yeah? Like if I’m in Paris, imagine, I could take you to Disneyland.”
She sniffles, “Paris?”
“Yeah, you loved Paris a couple of years ago, right?”
She nods and rubs her eyes, “Could we try and go up the Eiffel Tower again?”
“Duh, and you’d be old enough not to be so scared.”
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“Maybe-” a thick swallow “maybe even your new house would have a balcony and we could see it from there.”
“Oh, for sure, and we’d get pastries from the bakery downstairs in the mornings, they'd just so happen to be best ones ever, and there’d be a man playing the accordion outside- no, everywhere, like, no matter where we go, he’s there with his swirly little French Guy moustache...”
She giggles, “Is he following us around?”
“Oh, yeah, a total stalker, actually. Maybe we’d have to call the French police on him.” 
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We both laugh as she dries her face with her sleeves. Coming up with all the very French things we would do in Paris, every detail down to the layout of my beautiful Haussmann style apartment overlooking the Seine is nice.
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I'm not stupid, of course, I know perfectly well that the reality of a move to Paris would involve me and Michelle stuffed into a Chambre de Bonne tiny enough to touch both walls at the same time, tripping over half baked art projects and every possession we own, our pent up frustration causing us to have screaming matches that would wake up the whole arrondissement, but it’s nice to be an idealist for a minute or two. 
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“Where else could you live?” she asks me once we’ve exhausted all of the parisian stereotypes and run out of hypotheticals. 
“Hmm, how about Amsterdam?”
“Oh! Anne Frank lived there, we read the book at school last year.”
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I tell her that yes, if I lived there I’d take her to see the house with that stairway hidden behind the bookcase, and then we would... cycle around the place and annoy everyone because she’s so unsteady on her bike. I make up a story about how she keeps swerving out of her lane and getting in everybody's way, eventually causing a giant bike pile up along the canal like some sort of rat king of Dutch cyclists.
“Where else!”
“Um, Berlin...” and I purse my lips and try to think of things to do in Berlin that are appropriate for a nine year old, but for some reason all I can think of is a surly line of leather clad druggies in front of a techno club. “They like going to nightclubs, I guess…”
“I can go to a nightclub.”
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“Yeah, as if! You’d hate it, it’s just loud music and everyone bumping into you. Hey, you know there’s one nightclub in Berlin that’s so exclusive that they only let the coolest people in Europe inside? You have to wait in line for hours and if they think you’re even a little bit uncool then they send you home.”
Her eyes get wide, “Really? Hm. I think I could get in.”
The idea of Ivy being let into Berghain makes me guffaw, “Oh, you think so, do you?”
“Yeah I’m cool enough!”
“No you aren’t.”
“I am,” she leaps up and pretends to strangle me while I hold her at arm's length, “there’s no such thing as a cool nine year old.”
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“There’s no such thing as a cool eighteen year old either.”
“Uh! There is, you're looking at one. I would get into that club, no doubt.”
“No you wouldn’t, they wouldn’t even let you in the line.”
“Nah, they’d beg me to come in because I’d make it cooler.”
“They’d see you coming and pretend to be closed.”
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As we laugh and make stupid, childish jokes at one another I’m aware of an acceptance I feel with her that I don’t around other people. I’m never really so blatantly stupid and goofy in public, but Ivy, who has become my favourite person in the world, no matter what I do or say it’s funny, and she never thinks I’m weird, at least not in a bad way. I can fully let my guard down. Even though the fighting has stopped I don't really want to leave, but the moon has risen now, and the grasshoppers are chirping. Ivy has to sleep.
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I gather up my headphones and iPod and get up, despite her protests and attempts to come up with more funny things we might do as we galivant through fictional Europe.
“You're stalling,” I say, “you know well you have to go to sleep now.”
“No, no! Just one more thing!”
“Nope! Sorry! And don’t forget to brush your teeth, or I’ll tell dad.”
She pulls her ugliest face. She knows I’d never, but it’s funny, like telling a christian kid that Satan is watching.
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I shut the door very gently. It's not particularly late, maybe ten, but the house is morgue quiet, almost eerie, like the aftermath of a hurricane. 
Beginning // Prev // Next
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serene-starss · 11 months ago
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𝕾𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌
Paring: Tobias Forge & Reader
Warnings: suicidal thoughts/intentions, mention of death
“I eh, I understand these emotions and thoughts are hard to have.” He said, a comforting hand on the small of my back as he sat down on the wet concrete curb of the road.
I sniffle, trying not to cry at the kind gesture, “It’s ok, you don’t have to stay out here and convince me everything is sunshine and rainbows.” Three or four tears run down my raw cheeks as I simply blink
“Nothing is sunshine and rainbows,” he says as he gently starts moving his hand in a circular motion, his presence alone is soothing. Maybe being a family guy is why he’s so kind, and being the ‘Big Boss’ so firm and honest. It’s a good mix for a guy like him.
I look at the cigarette in my hand as the burning ember falls off and goes cold as it lands on the cool pavement that’s just barely wet from whatever rain or sewer leaked from outside the hotel at this time.
The street light highlighted our faces like we wore clown makeup, but to think about it, it is silly that such a sophisticated man would sit outside in the cold just to comfort a hired musician.
Laughs echo from inside the building, and warm light pools out of the windows decorated for whatever season it was supposed to be
I cry softly, putting a hand on my forehead. I want him to go inside because I don’t want him to spoil and rot like every other gram of happiness or joy that has been near me. “A black hole is what I am, I don’t want to swallow anyone who already hasn’t been.” I crow as the continued sound of joy hurts my heart.
“I’m not a scientist but black holes create new matter like planets do they not? So maybe we’re all just the aftermath of someone like you.” He says softly, I hear the exhaustion of the day in his sweet voice as he tries to cheer me up.
“I can’t do it.” I simply say as I hide my face in my knees as my cheeks fill with air and I stop myself from letting out a loud cry.
“Yes you can,” he says as he scoots closer to me, I know he’s not a therapy friend but just like before his fatherly and leading nature makes him simply incredible to be around. “You can because I did, and I know nobody wants to be compared to others but we are constantly changing”
I sigh heavily, “Except you mean something, your are worth something, and you have millions of fans and undying love from people. You’ve saved people's lives.” I say
“Yes but..” he thinks for a moment, “I mean it wasn’t too long ago I was just picking up a phone for money and doodling logos on napkins.”
I look up at him with puffy red eyes.
“I was In the same position when I felt all alone and helpless when someone very close to me passed away suddenly. I know how it feels to be at the bottomless pit of nothing” he said as he rested his elbows on his knees.
I wipe my nose on my sleeve, “I just…”
“You just need something or someone to keep you going,” He looks at me and flashes a smile.
“I already have one, thank you, I guess I should’ve said,” I say as more tears roll down my cheeks.
“For what? I told you I don’t mind coming out here, it’s because your my friend, band mate and I ca-“ he tries to finish before I cut him off, “for saving me, your truly the nicest and most understanding person ever.” I start to sob.
His face softens and he wraps me in a tight yet delicate hug, “I’m sorry you needed saving.”
I try not to get snot or tears on the back of his jacket as I melt into it, “thank you”
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niko-jpeg · 6 months ago
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Originally, Shadow 05 was not going to be in this au. But then I came up with the funniest possible way to include it in the story, and I couldn’t help myself. So you know how Camp Green Hill is set up like an animated series, with seasons and episodes and such? Well, I present to you Camp Green HIll: Shadow the Hedgehog, a post canon movie spinoff featuring our beloved moody hedgie and his adventure of accidental self discovery. The details are a little in the air right now, since I’m still finishing the base plot of CGH itself, so doodle explanations under the cut <3
Title Drop: First doodle of the batch I made, featuring Shadow and Rouge. They still work together under GUN post canon, and are cool and badass and etc. Slight design changes to Rouge because I wanted to, and Shadow rocks the button up and suit jacket combo. And yes, of course, he still has a gun.
I Can’t Draw Omega: I tried. And it did not go well, I’m so sorry Omega truthers. 
Weird Way to Meet Your Dead Beat Dad: I saw this scene vividly. After the opening sequence, Rouge and Shadow are going back to the apartment, only to be met by Shadow’s alien dad, who he does not remember. 
In the Lab, All Alone: This one’s more of a stretch, a vibe doodle if you will. I wanted to draw him in emotional distress, so I stuck him back on the Ark in the classic shitty hospital gown while he tries not to cry tears of frustration. Why? Because I said so. I don’t think it’ll make the final cut, but I had fun drawing it anyway. 
Sonic and Tails: As I said, this au takes place post canon! Now Sonic is 18, and Tails is 14! Shadow is 19 himself. However, because of just how many times Sonic has gone super, he’s begun to physically change a little. While coming down from being super has its emotional fallouts, he’s done it so many times he’s begun to grow electric yellow fur on his ears, hands, feet, and around his eyes. It also seems to be on his quills, strangely. Tails is as nerdy as ever, clearly.
Super Shadow: Unfortunately, Shadow goes super every once in a blue moon too, and it too is beginning to manifest. While at the moment the third eye is just a temporary thing while super, there's no saying if it may stick around if he does it again. A note on that as well: the only Hedgie that doesn’t go Super more than once is Silver. This is intentional, on his part, as while he was super, he found it quite a challenge to keep himself under control and has avoided it since. Who knows what his manifestations may end up looking like. 
Expressions: A surprised (though not unhappy) Shadow, contrasted with a visibly aggressive Shadow. 
Cuddle Pile: Request from the stream. Coming down from being super has its downsides, and a pretty rough mental fallout. Being a god for an hour doesn’t leave a guy unscathed, y’know. While Silver resists it initially (for various plot reasons), eventually the two are able to convince him to join the emotional recovery party Sonic’s closer friends throw him when he goes super. This usually includes blanket time, as seen here. 
Post Credits Shenanigans: I have this very vivid scene in my brain that would take place after the events of the story. Earlier, Sonic gushes about how cool he thinks Shadow actually is, under all the bitey rough exterior. Rouge, naturally, gets a recording and after everything is said and done plays it for him. This obviously flusters him. Please excuse the poorly edited blush, I realized I forgot to turn that layer back on only after I had saved the file. Oops. 
Remember, asks are open for the characters themselves, or about the au <3
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macabrecravings · 9 months ago
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Ohhhhhh... Very optional. And, naturally, something that could have multitudinous answers, so multiple could absolutely be given. But ALSO...
Given that they're talking again/have made up, enough that they could get away with it, what do you think the first non-"book criminal" thing Sydney would write on Kylar would be? Would Sydney change how they write book criminal on them, even, like they do for PC? Or would they not write on Kylar at all, maybe!
(BONUS: ADORE YOUR WRITING!! The thought you put into Sydneyposts and both your understanding of him and how he'd articulate things absolutely fucks to read :} your ocs seem really cool too... well wishes)
I HAVE!!! SO MANY THOUGHTS about Sydney (& Kylar) bodywriting <3 This got LONG but I'm genuinely rotating this so hard, thank you for prompting me.
— When they're closer, I imagine the normal "Book Criminal >:(" would become “Book Criminal :(“ with a sad face. Reason being...? Well, he's disappointed that Kylar's still destructing school property, even after all of his lecturing
— It's really fun to picture Sydney writing "Interesting" on Kylar, like he does to the PC when he's intrigued by them/getting closer to them. Interesting is... definitely one way to describe him, for sure. Kylar scrunches his face at it, trying to decipher what he means by it. Gets all grumpy and huffy, tries to glare at him but he just kinda looks like a wet cat LMFAO.
— Playing off of another canon Sydlar scene, I'm going to go ahead and take his "Kylar >:(" and make it "Kylar :)" [The original scene happens while Sydney & Kylar are fighting over PC and taking turns writing on them, but in this scenario I imagine it like most of his other PC bodywriting scenes.] - "Hey, can I write something on you?" - "Ah? Uh... y-yeah, I guess...?" - **Kylar :)** Kylar stares at it, confused. Why'd he... label him?
— Putting aside the fact that Sydney is super organized & clean, I loooveee the idea of him being a doodler. Hence why he draws little hearts and faces on people. Unlike Kylar, he refrains from drawing on school assignments & library books, but he still finds it enjoyable!! So, hear me out. Little stars, hearts, swirls, dotting the back of Kylar's hand and up his arm after he sits at the same table as him :)
Bonus points if Kylar rolls the sleeves of his school uniform/jacket down over them and forgets about them until that evening when he heads home. When he sees them again, the little red doodles are all smudged and he's kinda like, "Ah. Right." Maybe daydreams about it a little bit before he washes it off.
— Bit of a mushier, more self-indulgent one here but ummm...! Sydney writing nice little quips / little motivational phrases on Kylar's arms. Supportive little phrases to boost his confidence and keep him going throughout the day when things are rough. He rolls his eyes at the gesture, thinks it's dumb. But... at the same time, they’re validating. Having genuinely supportive reminders on his skin that contrast his scars? Ough...
(P.S. That means THE WORLD to me...!!!! My absolute favorite part of writing is characterization & I genuinely put so much thought into taking canonical bases and fleshing them out / expanding them while trying to keep it in the general realm of possibility!!! A lot of the time w/ the roleplay account, it's like taking a shot in the dark and running off of pure vibes so I looveeee that y'all enjoy what I do w/ it :))
Also. I'm so obsessed with my OCs, I can't wrap my head around the fact that people enjoy them as much as I do but I wouldn't change it for the world ;w; Characterizing and fleshing them out is a blast too, I'm not limited by anything really,,,, I find myself going "ugh I wish ____ would do *this* and I've got to be like. "I mean... who's stopping you...?" </3 Be free!!! Do whatever you want forever!! <3)
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allyougottado · 3 months ago
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HI Doodle! How have you been? I've been kinda meh bc of college but thats beside the point. About your reblog of sending you a character (or in this case, coach haha) I wanna see your list on either Maybel or Joshua or Lumen Brooks(I'm indecisive about those 3, they've been filling my mind lately aaaaaaa), even tho they dont have much lore, I love read others HC, so I'm eager to read yours^^(sorry if they wont fill all the list thingy:()
i’ll try to do all 3 cuz i rly like these coaches as well 😎 (i'm skipping fave line and song i associate them with because... ppl dont speak in just dance and i'm not creative enough to associate coaches with any song other than their own map LOL)
maybel‼️‼️
fave thing about them: her design is so cute!!!! i love yellow and her dress looks inspired by poodle skirts with the little line (phone cord?) spiraling down the skirt lol it’s so adorable. i especially love the alt. design cuz purple sleeveless jacket is CUTESY (also she looks like she’s matching with joshua with the sleeveless jacket hehe 🤭 very CUTE💯💯💯)
least fave thing about them: nothing to hate abt her 😍
brOTP: love you like a love song (this headcanon was subconciously created by looking at ur art btw LOL)
OTP: JOSHUA‼️‼️‼️
nOTP: i’m ngl i have never seen any other ship with maybel in it LOL
random headcanon: she’s a softie but the one thing she’s loud abt is her #LOVE!!!! i probz got this from the straightforward and aggressively-lovey vibe from call me maybe (and the dance too), but also a description from the JD twitter lol (they describe her as the sweet one hehe)
unpopular opinion: idk i’ve never seen too much opinions that i disagree with abt her
fave picture of them: it’s scrapped but this is kick ass maybel from puppet master lmao
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joshua😎
fave thing about them: the fake personality i made for him in my head 😼 and also his yellow glove probably
least fave thing about them: i'm gonna be really honest this part will probably be empty for almost everyone i’m not a person who hates easily 😭
brOTP: i always thought that #thatpower extreme and sorry looked similar to him (i think everyone else did too LOL) so YEAH they’re totally bros to me. i also group epsilon with those 3 but if i explain it will totally derail :P
OTP: maybel 💛🩷
nOTP: haven't seen anything too hateable yet lol
random headcanon: kuudere lolz. basically the exact same thing i said for maybel but instead of sweet and soft (🥺) he's like cold and serious on the outside but super hype and chill when he's dancing or talking to ppl he likes
also he’s probz the most normal compared to #thatpower extreme and sorry lol
unpopular opinion: once again, i haven't seen too much opinions i can disagree with lol
fave picture of them: this screenshot i took from youtube lmao
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lumen brooks!!!!!🎸
fave thing about them: ur gonna be so shocked when you hear this but i love his yellow raincoat i want it for myself. also he has TEAL HAIR! TEN MILLION CHARACTER DESIGN POINTS TO YOU UBISOFT (blue hair=looks like miku=good)
also i like rock so his map is so cool. i like how they went with a quirky weird rock map instead of a depressing dark one like the two they added in 2023 like yeahhhhh lets switch it up a little (no hate tho i fucking love evanescence BTW)
least fave thing about them: WOAH it’s a bit too soon to hate lolz
brOTP: probz p1 and p3, zephyr reef and crimson riff. i know they’re most likely not even real but i’d like to think he treats them as if they were his bros. also it would be rlly funny if he just has crazy flow powers and can make stuff he draws real harold and the purple crayon style
OTP: nothing rn
nOTP: also nothing rn… that game needs to come out so i have more brainpower to think of cool stuff to say 😾
random headcanon: when u think punk he doesn’t really look like one compared to crimson riff but he probz acts like one lol. would probably hate ppl like night swan and nithe long. and probably kids in america too (she’s falling for the propaganda… 😔 lol) also he’s loud. idk why i think that it just fits to me lol. also everyone probably thinks he’s #CRAYZAY 🤪 but don’t worry bro. i understand you 🤝
unpopular opinion: idk at first i thought he would be chill with scotty but i somehow changed my mind like scotty’s too much of a sweetie pie and lumen is too feisty (to me hehe) i still like fanworks with both of them in it tho they’re funny. like clashing personality stuff is still very entertaining to me
fave picture of them: idk he’s only existed for a couple of months so there’s not much pics of him… probz the little cartoony promo art from twitter cuz i like how huge they drew his rainboots here LOL
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(also hiii mey i’m meh as well LOL when i typed the first half of this post i was out at the mall and i feel like i embarrassed myself so hard there 😭 embarrassment still lingers and it sucks cuz i love the mall but whatever… I’M SENDING MY ENERGY TO YOU SO COLLEGE CAN GET A LITTLE LESS SUCKY 🫶💓)
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linawritesocs · 1 year ago
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seth's new design!! wow!!
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SO YEAH this is the seth redesign i was talking about in my last post!!
basically i was like "hey.. so rapunzel's hair changed color in the end, right. and it got shorter. so what if we did the same with seth, except in his case it's getting longer". and. yeah, here i am.
i think it's good for my ocs to have redesigns actually! i want them to age and i want them to change!!
and yes. yes, i know that he looks so much like riku and arata. i know. i blamed myself for not being creative enough but then i was like "well. all of them have different personalities and backstories and arata is especially different from seth and riku". so. yeah👍 i just have my fav tropes and styles and aesthetics and obviously i try to include them in my oc designs as much as possible! my vidia boy is probably going to join this dark-haired boy gang hehe.. i will introduce him. one day. give me some time.
some design notes + bonus drawings under the cut!
seth's redesign notes:
as you have probably already noticed, his hair is getting longer. he doesn't really want to cut it and he actually wants to grow it out. he's not sure if he wants it to be as long as it was when he was a child, but.. we'll see. it's actually a huge deal for him because he was afraid of his hair getting longer and he tried to cut it as often as possible since luna claimed that she thinks seth looks better with long hair, so.. he's finally able to move on :)
it's not so noticeable here bc of the filter i used but seth still has purple highlights! they're just more subtle now.
what is not subtle at all, however, that he has even more piercings and tattoos everywhere now. he has some on his back and legs too, they're just not visible here.
the tattoo on his neck is actually supposed to look like a chameleon's tail.
he has a new choker too and surprisingly, it's more pastel compared to the rest of his outfit.
he decided that he's too cool for the nrc uniform, so now his uniform doesn't have that many similarities with it, he doesn't wear his jacket anymore and his shirt has shorter sleeves. the thingy on his vest is kinda supposed to be a reference to the dark mirror.
again, not that noticeable here, but seth is wearing new colored contacts and his eyes are actually supposed to look like a purple and pink sky full of lanterns. he's still refusing to wear his glasses more, haha.
his nails are hot pink most of the time and they look more bright compared to the rest of his design.
Y E S he's wearing matching rings with rollo >:3 i am so insane about this concept, STOP ME BEFORE I START RAMBLING ABOUT IT. i actually think seth would wear a matching accessory depending on who he's dating at the moment/in this universe/timeline. and since i'm in a very strong seth x rollo mood as always, i went with this one. but i'm sure i'll get to draw the rest of them in the future!
and now. just take these silly doodles bc i had this redesign opened on my tablet when i pulled for rollo and. he didn't come home (he will. he will i am dragging him as he's screaming for his life) and i was like. at first i was like "did he not like it :(" but then i came to the conclusion that this repressed catholic school boy just. needed a moment to process it.
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lmelodie · 2 years ago
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Oh boy OH BOY there’s some good content here today for this one. A good batch that I really like with lots of words under the cut >:) Here ya go:
Robyn Frost, here to cause PROBLEMS. Drawing their funky hair is always so fun. I give to you the highest honor I can bestow: Cool Jacket. 
JACQUELINE MOTHER FUCKING FROST BITCH!!! I realized that I haven't been drawing the titular frost sibling NEARLY as much as I should for how often she lives in my head. I BUSTED this pose out SO FAST cause I also realized that I haven't drawn her being BAD ASS YET??? How this has happened I do not know. It’s a concept sketch, something to add to the pile of things that I could finish someday.
And Spring??? Hello??? I'm not gonna lie, I was a spring hater when I first read Dani’s work. (Mostly because I read them out of order going from Frostmas to Meet the Frosts to CS. First impressions before the rewrite.) And I thought she was a bitch at first. But she's actually really grown on me since then! She’s just got her own inferiority complexes just like everybody else. Can't wait for her to get the closure she deserves on that.
So, when were you guys gonna tell me that BlackIce has been Voxman coded this whole time??? Also, fun fact! My main voice claim for Kills is Professor Venemous (along with Dark older Danny from the ultimate enemy to a lesser extent). He gets the closest to how he sounds in my head so there ya go. He sounds like PV.
More canonical looking winter! I still ended up giving her those weird hair thingies in the back because I cannot stop myself, but double bun winter!
Thawed!Jack hair studies. Because the whole concept of being thawed/frozen isn't a thing in my universe I don't have the excuse to draw thawed jack (plus he looked so lame in the movie why even bother) But! Here is how I think his hair would look like without all the ice. I do think he still freeze dries it, but in my head canon his hair is blue 😌 and his little hair flippy is all limp but not in a depressed way this time.
Feral Kills STALKING. HE’S CURRENTLY IN YOUR HOME!
Ok so, the elephant in the room, a fucking TREAT for yall: Shirtless Killian doodle. Because in all honestly, I just really wanted to try more anatomy stuff. And while I was making it, this really solidified his once ambiguous sexuality as now Very Gay. 
Ive decided that after the break up he has thoroughly given up on love and entered his WHORE ERA. not nearly as egregious as Jack’s whore era, but a slut period none the less. Fuck buddies situation with a vampire happened at one point.
Everyday this man strays further and further into Very Attractive territory (at least to me) and I have to learn how to reel it back SO FAST because this could get out of control SO QUICKLY. No one would be able to stop him if he just keeps getting hotter, it would be a DISASTER.
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arlecchno · 2 years ago
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lmao the blonde parts are supposed to be teal but i havent had a chance to redye them in foreverr … also yes ! my xiao jacket ! its not the only one out there though LOL
the wall youre seeing is actually my best friend roofs long lost sibling , wall /j
BEFORE 6 !? i could never i always go to bed at like 12am …. im so sleep deprived on school days lol
ME AND THAT FRIEND DID SO MANY SILLY THINGS IN OUR MATH/STEM CLASS LMAO we used to play genshin wish sim (im very young T_T) and say weird things to summon characters (i told the computer id help make kaeya dilucs brother again to get diluc , and BOTH OF THEM CAME HOME IN THE SAME PULL) tbh ive always complained ab stairs so ,,, i cant even take the stairs in my building anymore bc i live on the 9th floor itd take way too long 😭
we have a lot of the same top 5s , kaeya , diluc , and scara share #1 because … yes . my favorite gal is fischl i love her sm -
i have 11 5*s (not including aloy) , and im currently pulling for sir acting grand scribe himself ! im at around late 30 pity , if he does / doesnt come home i will make self ship art because i dont think he would like that >:)
GOOD TO KNOW ITS GOING WELL im actually making notes for a fic i wanna write on call w my previously mentioned friend roof LOL ive had the idea ever since the nilotpala cup event , i really wanted to make like an actual fic based off of it bc that girl from the yae publishing house was supposed to or wtv HAHAH but im procrastinating on a title so im just . UGH - yk ?
i did have a good day both the day you replied and today ! i am injured but its not bad (only hurts when i move certain ways) , i went on a field trip for school today and got to go in a ✨stream✨ and pick up a little crawfish >:D i hope youre doing good as well !! its so nice talking to you lmao youre so cool
i might start sending doodles every ask , so heres a sketch of my genshin oc !!
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my “question” issss guess what region theyre from ! or who they live with LOL the hint is that there are already playables from their region , and there are technically two regions theyre from ?? you can guess just one though ill give you the answer next ask :P
- jellyfish
i think it's because i'm already used to waking up early... even tho i'm a very sleep deprived student that sleeps at 12-1 and wakes up at 5 😔 i'm fairly a light sleeper so no matter what time i sleep, whenever my alarm goes off i'm always up by the second 🥲
and LMAOO i've played a ton of those wish sims to prevent myself from rolling whenever i'm saving up for a character, it works wonders
i didn't really expect you to like fischl!!! i like using her in events where we have her as a trial character lol using oz in her burst and flying around is so silly but i always have fun with it!
seems like we're both on the run for alhaitham :D currently have 72 pity and he still has yet to arrive... i do not have a guarantee whatsoever so the next time i pull i'm gonna be praying for him to come home 😔 i've already explored most of the new area for him
and that fic idea sounds interesting! i briefly forgot about that event so when you mentioned it i'm suddenly reminded of how fun playing with the fungi was!! hope you'll find many inspiration for your supposed title, and who knows, next thing you know you're hitting the post button for your fic 🤭
hope you're healing well from your injury also!! have lots of rest and don't overexert yourself too much, resting is very important hehe
it's nice to know that you went on a field trip :O i haven't been to one in a while so hearing it from you reminded me how fun it always is to go on one and escape school (tbf i think we can agree at least half of the students that volunteer on field trips only do it to skip classes LMAO #guilty)
i think if i had to guess, it's a mix between mondstadt and sumeru, maybe? i'm either really wrong or really right since my basic skills of knowledge on each regions' outfits are very minimal 😵‍💫
a question for you; how was your week? tell me all about it!! hehe i honestly like hearing people talk about their day and week because it's undeniably so interesting to know what others have been up to and how different some people's lives can be from ours! hope i'm not rambling too much... i just really like listening to people talk and talk about their life
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anxiousdelinquent · 2 years ago
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If I may add some more ideas :]
I've seen people and have been preparing a project myself with like those glass jar lids the metal ones. Making them into pins by glueing saftey pins to them and stuff.
Or ive seen some cool projects made out of those twisted off can things too. Stringing them together to make chains, or belts or using saftey pins to just straight add it as dangly decor, even fully stitching them to the jacket to make pattens and texture.
My friend liked putting just straight different ducktape on their jacket.
Can stich ribbon onto it, flat or tied or braided, anything.
Or random buttons.
In fact you can also, if you want something more involved could get some grommets to put secure holes or something and thread rope or ribbon or chains down a sleve or on the back etc.
Tear up some scrap fabric and sew it to the jackets for texture or add thickens, or colour, what not.
If you have the stuff to sew on patches, you can also just straight stich onto the jacket. Whether that be searching up embrodery patterns or just shitty shapes or words, I've stiched just a big clump of x's. Before cause why not.
I also very much emphasis painting/drawing on your jacket. Its one of my favourite things. Don't have to do anything fancy if you dont want, don't have to be an artist. Even just covering it in words or shapes can make it look like graffiti, or write out lyrics from your favourite song or a paragraph from a book you admire. Use red and splater on it for fake blood. Theirs so much you can do.
Before I even knew punk jackets were a thing, back in highschool I'd just draw on my shoes and jackets with liquid white out, so thats always something to fuck around with if you want something small to try. Don't remember how well it actually worked on the jackets but I know I still have the shoes covered in white out doodles so.
any ideas for punk jackets other than patches and studs/spikes?
There are TONS of things you can do to jackets (I’d probably say more so with jean jackets than leather)
Safety Pins
Paint parts of it (like the trim or back panel or just splatter paint wherever)
Dye it (or dye half of it)
Write notes or doodles on it with permanent marker
Add zippers or pockets if you want (if you can sew a patch on, you can do this too!!)
Attach chains to it!
Rip a hole patch it with a different fabric underneath!
Go to gigs and try and get band members to sign it
Screen print onto it (lots of online tutorials)
If you know someone with the tools, add some vinyl to it
Anyone else can feel free to add to this!!
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robobbin · 2 years ago
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I wanted to make my own lil self insert Reader from @bamsara‘s amazing fic, Solar Lunacy! :D
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michaelsbigreddick · 2 years ago
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Cherry Red Chariot- e.m x f! latina reader
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Eddie x Latina Reader (Argyles Sister)
First person pov. Pov switches between the readers and Eddie's 🙈
Y/n is new at Hawkins. She came into school with one thing in mind, playing it safe. The thought of that was nearly thrown out the window when she sees the doe eyed metal head of her dreams. Which was coincidentally enough when she's put between a rock and a hard place. To be the bully or being the bullied
warnings: none really. reader smokes a cigarette and accidentally flashes both eddie and his uncle but that's it!
feedback and reposts are HEAVILY appreciated!! thank you for reading! <3
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I apply a fresh coat of red across my lips one last time before stepping out of the car. I swing my bag on and walk towards the gate where all the other kids were entering the school.
I promised myself on the first day of school nerves wouldn't get to me. But damn, keeping cool would be harder than I thought it would. I haven't even made it out of the parking lot and my hands are already sweating.
"Al mal tiempo, buena cara.” was a saying my mom had told me all throughout my childhood, and she was sure to say it to me this morning before I left.
One year of whatever the hell this school would bring and I would be home free to whatever college ended up accepting me.
When I hit the gate I hear murmurs from a group of guys wearing varsity jackets. Probably the jocks. I shoot em a smile, hoping to god I didn't somehow get lipstick on my teeth on the walk over here. If they smiled back that meant I was in the clear.
One of them, Jason from what I could overhear, gave me a nod, along with the approving smile I was hoping for.
From there the day was cake. At the office where I picked up my schedule the sweetest girl I’d ever met was in charge of showing me around school.
She wore a cheer outfit, a high ponytail and a pretty eye shadow that complemented her blue eyes.
We got along so well I we didn't get past the way to my first few classes. But I didn't mind because I was sure I could ask someone else for directions.
_ _ _ _ _
“You can sit anywhere you want.'' It was the first day of school. As much as Eddie despised Ms. O’Neils class, he promised his uncle he would attend each class on his first day. No promises for the rest of the year though. When he looked up to see who else was going to be in this torture chamber he had to take a double take. There standing at the front of the room was none other than the prettiest girl he'd ever laid his eyes on.
He sat up in his chair and rubbed away the pencil marks he was doodling on the desk.
“I have to be dreaming.” he thought. But he wasn't. The closer she got the more real she became. Long dark hair, brown skin with chocolate eyes and a red lip.
She sat down next to him. She sat down next to him. He felt his heartbeat pickup. The temptation of pinching himself to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep so soon picked at his brain. Instead he fixated on her perfume. If she wasn't real, he wouldn't be able to smell that sweet sweet scent that was coming off her.
“Um, excuse me?” he figured he might have just been someone talking too loud from the other side of them.
“Excuse me.” they said a little louder. He turned around this time.
“Hi” she smiled. And he could feel everything come undone all together. He was going to hate himself for anything that came after this.
“Hi,” he said, a bit confused.
“I uh just wanted to introduce myself. I don’t think there’s gonna be much moving around with the seats,” she looks around the room. Everyone was already seated next to their friends.
“Who knows, you could be the next miss popular. Certainly look the part.” He didn't know where the sudden confidence to compliment her came from but it looked like it was working. She laughed shifting towards him.
“I don't know about that. One slip up and they'll see how much of a dork I am. But thank you.” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear exposing silver hoops dangling.
“So my name's y/n.”
“Eddie,” he extended his hand to her. She stared at it for a moment. Which made him feel self conscious about it. Was it his rings, or the calluses that made his hands seem so uninviting?
As he began to remove his hand, she took it with an assertive grip. Small and soft against his, the coolness of her ring pressed against his bare finger.
'Don't remember the last time I shook hands to make a friend." She laughed.
"Who says we're friends?" He joked, removing his hand. She gasped playfully smiling as she turned her attention to Ms. O'Neil who was beginning to introduce the class.
His mind lingered on that word for the entire period."friends" this new girl, correction god sent looking angel, wants to be his friend.
After class he offered to take her to the lunch room. She insisted that she wasn't hungry. That was when he had the idea of stealing her away from the rest of them for just this once.
So he took her to his favorite place in the building.
He opened the door to the theater room, flicking on the main lights.
“This is where Heffire meets.”
“Hellfire?” she asked with a puzzled look. But it wasn't the judgemental type that he was used to. She was intrigued. He had caught her attention. And that had him over the moon.
“Yea, It's my Dungeons and Dragons club. Well, not mine. It's all of the members.” He smiled showing off his dimples.
“Oh, I don't think I've ever heard of it before.”
“Jesus did you move from under a rock?” he laughed in disbelief.
“Actually, California, the least under the rock state.”
Before he could let her into his world, there was a knock at the door. Someone had come to her rescue. A head peeped in. A familiar face he'd seen over the years, Chrissy Cunningham.
“Hey!” she said, opening the door wider and entering.
“Looks like you made a friend!” she said, looking over at him.
“My name's Chrissy.” She introduced herself. He chewed his lip introducing himself back even though they had met long ago.
“Um I hope you don't mind, but uh, I'm gonna have to steal y/n away from you. I want to introduce her to my friends.” he looked over at y/n who looked like she was uncomfortable. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring her into a room alone, where no one would interrupt them, as a stranger she just met. It was nice while it lasted, he thought to himself.
“Chrissy I.”
“No yea, she should meet her new friends.” he said dismissively.
“Actually I think,”
“Y/n they're gonna love you.” Chrissy began to walk her off while talking about the cheer team.
"I'll see you around!" She said before leaving.
Once they were out the door he sat down exhaling. It had been a long time since he'd ever felt this high. The adrenaline running through his veins from just the sound of her voice. Her laugh ran over him, making him want to drop to the floor, the force of a wave against his weak body.
“Get a grip Eddie, you just met her.”
He thought of the image of her walking out with the head cheerleader. The group of kids she was probably next to right now. The jocks, popular jerks that made his life harder. It was better to be one of them then to be their cause of amusement.
It was better this way he tried to convince himself.
----------
"You can sit anywhere” Great, yeah, anywhere is great. Especially since there’s nofucking where to sit. I scan the room. Everyone talking and playing with their friends sat beside them.
I see two empty seats. One by a girl wearing the same cheer outfit as Chrissy, and one next to a boy. A boy with long hair, leather jacket, rings that adorned his hands perfectly, and hands, hands that would look so good anywhere on me.
I walk towards the seat next to him. Should I say Hi? It's been a while since I've had to make new friends. In Cali I just hung out with Amelia. I met Amelia through Argyle's friend group. And since he's my stupid brother his friends were my friends by default. So this was probably gonna be awkward.
“Excuse me?” I try to get his attention but his attention stays on the desk. His hands playing with his pencil.
“Excuse me,” I say again. This time he turns to me. And god, god fucking god, his eyes burned into the deepest parts of my conscience. I could feel it.
Sometimes in life you can feel when your life has taken a turn. A pivotal moment in life. When you have your first kiss, when you turn fifteen, when you get your driver's license, when you find out you're moving across the country, and times like this when you look into the most beautiful set of eyes you've ever come across. This was one of those moments.
“I uh just wanted to introduce myself. I don’t think there’s gonna be much moving around with the seats,”. I look around the room and hope he doesn't notice the few other empty seats there are. Maybe I wasn't his type, or maybe he would just end up being a jerk and tell me to go sit somewhere else.
"Who knows, you might end up being the next miss popular. Certainly look the part." His lips form into a stupid cute grin.
"I don't know. One slip up and they'll see how much of a dork I am. But thank you." I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. One of my nervous habits.
“So um, my name's y/n.”
“Eddie,” he stretches his hand out towards me. God, these hands again. They looked even better up close. He looks like he plays guitar. Fuck, I bet he plays the guitar. I take his hand trying to focus on giving a good hand shake over the ocean of other thoughts that were flooding my mind.
'Don't remember the last time I shook hands to make a friend." I say with a small laugh. Friends y/n that's what you need right now.
“ Who says we’re friends?” He gave me a swoon worthy grin and I gave him an exaggerated gasp before turning back to the teacher who was already quieting the class down.
It was hard to pay attention with him next to me. It was like having a full moon and sky full of stars but you're only able to see it through the reflection on the water. I needed to see the real thing. All of him, not just what I could see through peripheral vision.
“Do you need directions to the cafeteria? I can walk you there if you want.” he offered. I thought about it. A large room full of people I didn't know. The whole 'who you sit with on the first day' dilemma. I would honestly rather die than deal with that right now. Especially if I could spend the next hour with this mystery bottle of moonlight.
“Im uh not really hungry.” I say hoping he takes the hint. And he did, it was like the little lightbulb in his head just turned on with how sudden his face lit up.
“Follow me.” and so I did. The halls were empty, and every moment I followed him they got quieter. Till eventually I was alone in a room with him.I release a breath, relieved to be away from all the noise.
“This is where Hellfire meets.” his grin wakes me up again. Eyes wide and full of excitement.
“Hellfire?” I ask dying to know more. Everything that comes out of his mouth just, I need to know everything there was to know.
But before he could tell me more about his club theres a knock at my door and the dread begins to set in again. Chrissy poked her head in. I'm revived its just her, but god did I wish to just have the rest of lunch alone with him.
They introduce each other and Chrissy pulls me away from my safe haven. She tried to reassure me that this was who I wanted to be with during lunch. I didn't want to know what she meant, I didn't want to act like I agreed. I don't want to admit that this is what I want. To be popular, just like everyone else, safe.
They waved over at us. She introduces me to them and chrissy shares her lunch with me.
"Hey I um, don't mean to be rude but, why were you alone with, him in there?” she almost whispered while the rest were distracted either there own conversation.
“He was, um telling me about his club. Touring the school you know?” I lied.
“Okay well, I don't want to be mean, and i'm telling you this because I like you. Don't let them see you with him if you don't want to be grouped with him.” she gave me a halfhearted smile. These were her words of advice for the new brown girl in a white school, don't be grouped with him.
And she was right to advise me so. I feel like I'm walking on such a thin line. I feel terrible for taking her advice, but I'm scared of what the alternative is.
So I didn't talk to him for the rest of the week. The next day I sat next to the cheerleader I had avoided sitting next to. She was nice enough. Made backhanded comments about me being pretty despite my features, and I threw some right back at her.
Chrissy would reassure me that she was just jealous about they guys being so open to accepting me into the group. It had taken her all freshman and sophomore year of kissing up to them for them to say she could sit with them.
The week couldn't have gone any slower. Everyday after school Chrissy would ask me to come over so I could practice with her. She had hopes I would end up changing my mind about trying out for the team. And I mean it was fun and I wasn't half bad, but doing little dances in her backyard and doing it in front of the while school were two very different things.
Today was the first afternoon I had by myself all week. And so I chose to finally take a drive down to "lovers lake"
“Ama, porfa, nomas esta a unas millas. Vuelvo antes de que se oscurezca.” I promised. She gave me the same look she did every time I wanted to leave the house.
“Pregúntale a tu padre.”
I go to ask him and he tells me the same words hes told me every time I want to go out.
“Nomas portate bien.” I give him a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
I've been around town before and got most of it down from shopping around or going on strolls through the center with my mom. Everyone seemed to have been nice enough, but that might have just been because we have money. My mothers loud gold bangles and shiny heels made it so they either feared or respected her.
The wind was picking up but that only made the drive more pleasurable. I turn up the volume and sing along to the music following the empty road. When I arrive at the lake, It's storming like hell. I dig through my glove compartment and pull out a box of cigarettes.
The humidity probably won't help me with the smell, but I light one up anyway. I don't usually smoke, but after the week I've had, I deserve one. When the cassette ends I throw out the cigarette and place a new one in the player.
Revving up the engine again I begin my drive back home. Slow and steady because of the wet road. I turn away from the windshield for a split second and when I look back I see something running right in front of me. I swerve to the opposite lane and slide into the side of the road. I hit the breaks, screaming. I rush our of the car and look for the animal that I just barely missed. Nothing but rustling trees for as far as I could see.
When I get back into the car I'm thankful it's leather. My wet clothes squeak against mey seat, the mud on my shoes slap against the pedal. I apply more pressure but to no avail. I'm stuck in mud on the side of the road, in the middle of a storm. Just my luck.
I get out of the car again. And try to figure out how to get it out. There was a single tire stuck, front left tire that dug itself deeper each time it accelerated. I either need to push or pull it out.
I think about the possibility of walking home. a 15 minute drive meant a thirty minute walk. If I walked to the nearest house, what were the chances of me getting help? I decide to try and push it out myself first. I was never one to ask for help.
When at my last and final attempt at pushing it out I'm startled by a honk. I take a step back, nearly sliding into the mud.
A red van with a thick white line, stops a few feet away from me. When the window rolled down, the only thing I truly desired was for the world to swallow me whole instead of my car.
Eddie.
He turns down the heavy metal blasting through the window.
"Hey stranger,"
"Hey," I smile, wiping the water off my face, just for more to replace it. He leans over to the opposite door and opens it for me.
"Hop in." I look down at my muddy shoes and hesitate. I stomp off as much as I can, then close the rusted door behind me.
"I'm sorry if I stain your, the dirt, I didn't know-" He laughed and told me it was alright.
"So, why are ya' standing on the side of the road?'"
"Oh yea, um, I was driving back home then something jumped in front of my car, and so I swerved over to not hit it and, well now my tires stuck."
"Okay, well," he began to take his jacket off. He handed it to me "Wear this. You're soaking. I'll be right back."
"Oh, okay. Thank you." I begin to take the fabric that was clinging onto my skin off. And wrap the leather around myself. It was warm, and smelled like cigarettes, with a touch of weed and the faintest smell of cologne.
"How am I supposed to think straight around him. When he's exactly what I want? I can't wait to tell Amelia this. She's going to absolutely freak.
Fuck. You know who else is gonna freak out? My parents. I groan remembering that this is exactly what they don't want to hear from me. I'm soaking wet in my bra, muddy shoes and a strange guys leather jacket. I try to get the zipper to fir together but stop my efforts when I see him walking back to the van. I overlap the sides trying my best to stay covered.
His door opens again, he comes in panting. His band tee clinging onto his body like it depended on it.
"Oh god, now you're soaking." I try to give him his jacket back. But remember I'm shirtless only when I see his eyes grow from surprise.
"I think um, you're fine. I'm fine I mean. I'll- I'll be okay." He said, looking away from me.
I hold the jacket tighter against me. Great. I just flashed him. He's helping me out and I'm doing THIS.
"So, cherry red 66 mustang huh?"
"Yea. My dads originally. Gave it to me for my 18th.”
“I would help you get it out but uh, I don't have anything to pull it out. I live five minutes away. We could stop by and come back?”
“Yea that sounds good."' The drive there was as short as he'd said.
“Did you want to come in?”
“Sure.” I didn't think much about it. I couldn't think at all around him. I didn't need to.
The door opens before he could put the key in.
“Jesus kids. Get in here.” a slim man said, shutting the door behind me.
“Hello,” my voice came out louder than intended.
“Hello,” he greeted back. He looked over at Eddie. Eddie snapped out of his trance when the man cleared his throat.
“Right, Uncle wayne, this is Y/n. She's my fri- shes in my english class” he gestured towards me. “Y/n this is my Uncle Wayne.” I extend my arm toward him in a quick movement releasing my grasp off the sides of the jacket. He swiped his gaze away from me. Eddie did the same while turning me away from them.
“Stupid zipper.” he muttered under his breath. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.`` I panicked. The fucking odds of this happening in less than ten minutes. What is wrong with me?
“Edward. Get her something to wear please.” he sighed taking a few steps that led into their kitchen. “I'm gonna make you guys something to warm up.”
Eddie nodded his head and led me away while his uncle set a kettle on their stove.
“This is uh, my room. Sorry about the mess, I don't get a lot of company.” he began looking through his drawers. I browsed his room from the entrance. Cassettes of bands I love and some I'd never heard of, multiple amps, a banner, random knick knacks I'd love to know the story behind, a wilted copy of lord of the rings. And that's when I saw it. I took a step forward and then another till I was in front of it. The sickest Electric guitar known to man.
“You like her.” I turned back to him. A smug smile on his face.
“She's beautiful.”
“You can hold her if you want.” I knew guys like him. I definitely have a type. Long haired guys with a fuck you attitude that had a love for music.
“You'd let me?”
“I mean I usually wouldn't but, you look like you know your way around one.” truth was that I don't. I'm better with the acoustic, or god I love being behind the piano. But when was I gonna get the chance to hold it again?
He hands it to me carefully and plugs it into his amp.
“Can I?” He says, lifting his guitar strap. I nod. He pulls it around my head, lifting my hair up so that it sits on my neck.
I begin to play around with the strings. The pick felt unfamiliar between my fingers.
“Don't laugh. I'm a bit rusty.”
‘Take your time.” he took a step back and sat on his bed. I begin to play the notes of Hotel California.
____
It was like something out of a wet dream. Y/n in his jacket playing his guitar and looking absolutely angelic doing it.
Her fingers sliding across the chords like nothing. The concentrated look on her face when she began and the look of pleasure when she got to the bridge and played it flawlessly, It was all too much to take in. With her undivided attention on the music, there was no room for her to notice her open chest. He took notice of the silver cross that landed right above her breast. A single glimmering rock in the middle of it. How could something so heavenly bring something this rotten and absolutely filthy to his mind.
“So how was it?”
“You, are amazing. Do you play? Well obviously you do.” he said shaking his head on embarrassment. It's like everything he'd done was meant to chase her away. He'd figured he'd creeped her out that first day by taking her into a secluded room buy herself, maybe she felt unsafe around him.
But if that were true why would she have accepted to get in his van and come into his home. Because it was raining and her car was stuck, He reminded himself.
“No I don't actually, I'm really, I've only actuslly used an electric one when my friends have one. My parents are pretty,”
“Uptight?”
“I was gonna say conservative, but yea pretty much.” she smiled weakly, hanging it back up.
“So how did you get this good?”
“I spend a lot of time at friends houses. But they let me play the acoustic since you know, spanish songs, romance and all that.”
“Right right.” she sat down beside him.
“You could come over and use mine if you want.” he offered. Her face lit up at his proposal.
“You would do that?”
“Yea why not? Its no big deal. Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” she giggled hugging him.
“Id like that.”
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