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morganaawriterr · 3 days ago
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Chapter 03;
— Your Sweet Love
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Synosis: In a marriage born out of convenience and plagued by bitterness, You and Sunghoon find yourselves trapped in a cycle of cold indifference and unspoken resentment. Your quiet strength and tender care begin to reach the heart Sunghoon has so carefully guarded. Slowly, walls built from years of hurt and mistrust start to crumble, revealing a shared loneliness neither had acknowledged. With every tentative step toward connection, your hearts yearn for a closeness you’ve long denied yourself selves, leaving both to wonder if you can build something real from the ashes of your forced bond.
Navigation: Intro - 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 Pairing: fem!reader X husband!Park Sunghoon Genre: Arranged Marriage trope; Angst; Fluff; Sexual themes; Warnings: cursing, mention of pills (some are drugs); abuse; mentions of blood; sexual content; injuries; heavy themes; juicy tension ;) Music: Listen to 'nevertheless ost' and 'the trunk ost'!! Disclaimer: This story is fiction, and it does not reflect real life in any way. This story is heavily inspired by the kdrama 'The Trunk' on Netflix but with a special twist! Words: 8k - New Chapter Every Saturday!!
A/n: This chapter was hard to write for some unknown reason, but it's literally my favorite!!! It's longer than usual, so enjoy! Also, I want to warn you: this chapter talks about domestic violence and has heavy themes, so be careful. Thank you for all the love and support. It means everything to me <3
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The days after your injury seemed to pass tediously slowly. With your wounded right hand, you couldn’t do the usual chores that kept you busy during the day, leaving you stuck in bed or on the sofa. Watching TV and casually scrolling on your phone were all you could manage for the whole week. To you, it felt like you were a helpless princess trapped in a tower, unable to leave or do anything to distract your mind.
Today is Saturday, and it’s the most energetic and busy you’ve been all week. Since it’s the weekend, Sunghoon is at home with you, keeping you company and keeping an eye on you. The morning passed faster than it should have as you tried to help your husband with a quick cleaning of the house. Following your instructions, Sunghoon vacuumed the three bedrooms while you slowly wiped the dust off the surfaces. It was a simple task, but it was all you could do with just one hand. After that, he continued cleaning the kitchen while you busied yourself with the living room.
Once all the cleaning was done, you could feel how wet and sticky with sweat your body was, so you decided to take a quick bath to freshen up. You informed your husband of your plan, and he nodded, making a mental note to shower right after you. The sun outside was bright, casting its warm light through the large windows, bringing a sense of comfort with it. A soft breeze brushed against your skin as you walked to the main bathroom, the open windows refreshing the air.
As you stepped inside the bathroom, Sunghoon decided to lounge in the living room, planning to catch up on the series he had been watching. He threw himself onto the long sofa, yawning from exhaustion as he sank into the comfy pillows beneath him. Though he was focused on the TV, he kept an ear out for you, just in case you called.
In the large bathroom, completely illuminated by the bright sun outside, you began slowly stripping off your clothes. The warmth of the sunlight on your skin made you feel safe. As your clothes piled on the floor, your eyes scanned the tiled room, searching for the plastic glove you had been using on your right hand to help you wash without wetting your injured palm. You spotted it resting near the gold faucet. Carefully, you slid the stiff plastic material onto your hand and secured it around your wrist with a scrunchie, making sure it was tight before stepping into the tub. The bathtub was filling up as you moved, the fog from the hot water clouding the space.
Soon, you're sitting comfortably in the bathtub, the superheated water reaching just below your chest, making goosebumps form on your skin. Your arms dip beneath the surface as you let your head rest against the tub, savoring the quiet moment. After a few minutes of resting, you reach for your vanilla body wash and slowly begin washing yourself, keeping your injured hand in the air to protect it. The atmosphere is peaceful, the warmth of the sun, the water, and the familiar sweet scent relaxing you even further.
When you finish washing your body, you close your eyes and mentally prepare yourself to wash your hair. It’s always a struggle. Because it’s long, it requires a few extra steps to get it back to its natural state, and with only one hand to work with, it’s even harder. You gradually reach for your shampoo, causing little waves to ripple around you, and pour a bit onto the head massager you bought a few days ago to make the process easier.
You’re doing an okay job brushing your scalp when, suddenly, the tool slips from your hand and slides across the tiled floor with a loud thump. You bite your lip and quietly curse at yourself, barely believing what just happened. Your mind races for solutions. Two ideas cross your mind: you can stand up, walk over to retrieve it, and then get back into the water… or you can call Sunghoon for help.
Smiling at the second thought, you shake your head. There’s no way you’re calling him to assist you. Still, your heart starts to speed up at the thought of it—his handsome face peeking in as he hands you the massager, his usual confidence faltering at the sight of your bare skin. Your mind wanders even further, imagining how Sunghoon’s slender fingers could probably do a better job of washing your hair than that stupid tool, reaching all the spots you can’t quite get to.
Knowing that is definitely not happening, you reconsider the first option. You’d probably make a mess on the floor, leaving a large puddle of water as you walked. And worse, you could slip and fall—the tiles get dangerously slippery when wet. You close your eyes again, pressing your lips into a thin line, hating that, for your own good, you have no choice but to call for Sunghoon.
The truth is, you’re afraid of the growing proximity between you and Sunghoon. You’ve become dependent on his "good morning" every day to set the tone for your day. And lately, there’s been a tension between you—subtle but undeniable. Every time you’re close to him, you can feel it, like electricity traveling from his eyes to yours, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
Sunghoon has been incredibly attentive and helpful ever since you cut yourself. He’s always around—preparing your meals, helping you grab heavier things, even something as simple as your coffee cup. You’ve started to notice how his touch lingers sometimes. When he holds your hand to help you put on your shoes, his fingers intertwine with yours for just a second too long. His other hand rests faintly on your hip to steady you, a barely-there presence that still sends your thoughts spiraling. With all these thoughts running through your mind, you make a decision.
“Sunghoon!” you call out, hoping he can hear you despite the distance.
Silence. You try again. And again. You chew on your lip, hating how dependent you’ve become on him, hating that he doesn’t seem to hear you. Just as you’re about to get up, there’s a faint knock on the wooden door.
“YN, is everything okay?” Sunghoon asks from the other side, his voice slightly breathless. He was nearly dozing off on the couch when he heard your voice calling for him. Worried, he rushed to the bathroom, ready to help with whatever you needed.
“Can you come in? I need help with something…” you admit, your voice louder, making sure he hears you this time.
Sunghoon hesitates. He doesn’t know what state you’re in, and if he walks in to see your bare body, he’s sure he’ll combust. The urge to touch you, to give in to whatever this tension is, has been driving him insane these past few days.
“Should I?” he murmurs, lower than he intended, his palm sweaty as it grips the doorknob, not quite turning it yet.
“Yes…” you answer. “Please.”
The invisible restraints holding him back snap at the sound of your plea. You always manage to hit his sweet spot without even realizing it, and he hates it.
Slowly, Sunghoon turns the doorknob and steps inside, taking a deep breath to steady himself. As soon as he enters the tiled bathroom, your scent surrounds him, invading his senses and clinging to his clothes. His brown eyes scan the scene in front of him, heat creeping through his body.
You’re sitting in the tub, your body turned toward the door as you lazily rest your head on your hand, your arm propped on the thick edge of the bathtub. Your black hair is soapy and piled messily on top of your head, and for a brief moment, he can’t help but think of how adorable you look. Then, his gaze shifts, catching sight of your right hand covered in a plastic glove. His attention snaps back to your face immediately.
“Why do you have a plastic glove on your hand?” he asks, still standing a few centimeters from the door, keeping his distance.
Your eyes find his, and for a second, you get lost in the deep brown of his gaze, words escaping you. But when he tilts his head slightly, confusion evident, waiting for an answer, you finally look away.
“I can’t get my hand wet,” you explain, closing your eyes as you add, “so I put the glove on so I could take a bath. Is that so hard to understand?” You said frustrated.
“You could have asked for help! It’s not good to keep your hand inside those cheap gloves. Besides, you should be washing that hand too—carefully.” Sunghoon sounds genuinely worried as he speaks, his eyes widening to emphasize his point. His hands move along with his words, gesturing in frustration.
A small smile tugs at your lips as he expresses his concern, and despite your best efforts, the little butterflies in your stomach begin to flutter. He looks adorable like this. Still, despite his words, Sunghoon remains frozen in place, as if his feet have grown roots, keeping him glued to the floor.
“Can you pass me that?” you interrupt, pointing at the black massager lying near his feet. “It slipped from my hand when I was washing my hair.” You gesture with your injured hand while your other arm remains firmly in place, shielding your bare chest.
“Oh—yeah. Sure,” Sunghoon stutters, suddenly realizing that you had everything under control and didn’t actually need his help. It shouldn’t surprise him—after all, you’ve always been used to doing things on your own.
He quickly bends down to grab it and steps forward to hand it back to you. His figure towers over you as he moves closer. You reach out with the arm you were using to cover yourself, stretching to take the plastic tool—but before you can, it slips from Sunghoon’s hands, rolling away once again.
You glance up at him, brows furrowed, ready to scold him. But the moment your eyes meet his, the words catch in your throat, swallowed by the intensity of his stare.
Sunghoon is completely entranced, his brain short-circuiting as his gaze greedily drinks you in. Your wide eyes look even larger as you tilt your head up to meet his, your pink lips slightly parted as you breathe slowly. A warm, rosy blush spreads across your skin—from your round cheeks and pointed nose down your neck and chest.
Soupy bubbles form around the edge of the water as it touches your skin, your breasts exposed. The way your skin glistens under the soft sunlight, the sweet scent wafting from your body, and the sight of your cute little hardened nipples make him lose his mind. Your seemingly innocent aura pulls him in, making it impossible to resist.
Sunghoon feels a tingling sensation spread through his body as his gaze travels back to your face—only to find you already searching for his eyes. Maybe he’s touch-starved from being single all this time, or maybe you’ve cast some kind of spell on him. Either way, he wants to touch you, to devour you as if you were the last meal he would ever taste.
“Sunghoon…” You call his name so softly it almost sounds like a needy moan. The truth is, you can feel his desire for you, deep in your bones. He’s a dangerously attractive man—tall, muscular, exuding confidence, and carrying a scent that draws you in like a drug.
“You don’t need to use those gloves ever again,” Sunghoon says, his voice low and firm. He kneels in front of you, reaching for your hand as he gently tugs at the cheap glove.
He does it slowly, carefully—his fingers burning as they graze your wrist, holding your hand still while he peels the glove away. A soft thud echoes in the foggy bathroom as it falls to the tiled floor. As he lingers, his fingertips barely ghost over your wound, his eyes locked onto your palm as if willing it to heal.
Your gaze never leaves his face as he continues his delicate ministrations, completely captivated by the tenderness of his touch. Your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, suppressing the overwhelming urge to kiss him. The thought of his plump lips pressing against yours, finally claiming you, makes your throat go dry.
“Can you turn around and hand me the shampoo bottle?” Sunghoon suddenly says, his voice softer now. “I’ll wash your hair for you. Just make sure you don’t dip your hand in the water—we’ll wash it after so it doesn’t affect the wound.”
His head tilts up, meeting your gaze once again. A small, knowing smile tugs at his lips before he shakes his head, silently commanding you to do as he says.
Breathlessly, you do just that—turning your back to the side of the tub and handing him the bottle of shampoo. This position is perfect. Sunghoon has easy access to your scalp, and you can finally face away from him, trying to regain your self-control, which seems to slip away with every second your eyes linger on his.
Sunghoon’s fingers slowly thread through your hair, gently tilting your head back to keep the shampoo from getting into your eyes. The confidence in his touch makes you wonder—has he done this before? Your mind drifts to thoughts of his ex-lover. Did he often wash her hair like this?
A gentle yet precise massage at the nape of your neck pulls you out of your thoughts, making your breath hitch in surprise. Your eyes flutter shut as you savor the way he works through your hair, occasionally letting out quiet gasps when he seems to hit just the right spot. His skilled hands leave your scalp for a moment as he reaches for the showerhead to rinse your hair. Without a word, you slide forward, creating space so you can tilt your head back, letting the warm water cascade down into the tub.
Sunghoon gulps at the sight before him. Your face is completely relaxed under the stream, water gliding down your hair. His gaze travels lower, catching a glimpse of your breasts—wet, glistening, and perfectly peaked. He exhales heavily, knowing he shouldn’t touch you. But God, he wants to.
Dragging his eyes back up, he checks your hair, making sure it's ready for the next step.
“Which one is it?” Sunghoon asks, his deep voice reverberating through the steamy room—and your empty mind.
You open your eyes slowly, meeting his gaze for a brief second before reaching for your hair treatment.
With a shy smile, you hand it to your husband, feeling exposed yet reveling in the way he stares at you. His gaze makes you feel wanted. Desired. But it also makes your skin burn with unbearable heat.
Sunghoon takes the small pot, scooping out just a bit of the rich formula with his fingertips as you settle back into place, awaiting his touch once more.
Sunghoon holds your hair carefully, applying the hair mask from the middle to the tips, scrunching it lightly—knowing it’s needed for your wavy strands. As his expert fingers work through your hair, your mind wanders again. He knows exactly what he’s doing, making it painfully clear that he’s done this before. More than once.
“How long do we have to wait?” he asks, taking you by surprise.
“Five minutes,” you respond, turning to face him, your lips pressing into a thin line.
Sunghoon reaches for you, gathering all your hair and placing it over your left shoulder, letting it rest against your chest.
“There,” he murmurs. “Like this, it won’t get wet.” His voice is low, almost hesitant, as he feels the heat creeping up his neck and ears under your unwavering gaze.
“Have you done this before?” you ask softly, your eyes never leaving his face.
Sunghoon looks away, as if trying to avoid the question. But he isn’t scared of you anymore. So why not tell the truth?
“Well,” he begins, settling down on the floor and leaning his back against the tub, his face now level with yours. You rest your head on your palm, waiting for his explanation.
“My ex used to come home drunk after going out with her friends. She was always a mess—barely able to move. Sometimes she would even throw up on herself. So I started helping her shower as soon as she got inside the house.”
His once-relaxed expression hardens. His brows knit together, and his lips form a small, displeased pout as he recalls the memories.
You stay silent, unsure of what to say. Sunghoon notices and turns to face you. Your lips are sealed shut, the corners subtly dipping downward. Your eyes, almost half-lidded, stare at your hand as if you’re fighting an internal battle.
Then, finally, your gaze lifts to meet his. In that moment, nothing else exists—just you and him.
Your heartbeat picks up, thudding so loudly you’re sure Sunghoon can hear it. But he doesn’t seem to care. He’s lost in the red flecks of your deep brown irises, in the way your eyes always give away more than your words ever could.
And before he can think, before logic can catch up—his body moves on its own.
Slowly, he leans in.
Your lips part in anticipation, longing for nothing more than to finally taste those plump lips of his—the ones that never seem to leave your mind. You close your eyes, hoping to feel his warmth against yours, but instead, you're met with nothing.
When you open your eyes, Sunghoon is reaching for the showerhead.
Embarrassment burns through your cheeks, and you quickly shift inside the tub, making room for him to rinse your hair once more. You bite your lip nervously as you tilt your head back, careful to keep the water from getting in your eyes.
Each second drags on unbearably as he gently caresses the ends of your hair, making sure every trace of the mask is gone. The air between you feels thick—so heavy you could probably cut it with a knife. Every moment suffocates you, robbing you of breath.
Sunghoon finally turns off the water. You pull your knees to your chest, resting your cheek against them, the sting of embarrassment and rejection making you want to cry.
Once your hair is done, Sunghoon reaches for a small towel hanging by the tub. He dips a corner into the water before looking at you.
“Can I have your hand?” he asks gently.
You let him take your wrist again, watching as he carefully rubs your injured hand, cleaning it with such tenderness it makes your chest ache. Your wide eyes remain fixed on him, feeling every ounce of care in his touch. The weight in your heart grows heavier, your emotions now as clear as water.
“All done,” Sunghoon murmurs with a small smile, turning his head slightly to meet your gaze. You hesitate before making eye contact, but the softness in his eyes eases the feeling weighing you down.
“I’ll be waiting for you in the living room,” he continues sweetly. “The new season of that basketball anime we were watching just dropped. I’ll bring the blanket and snacks.”
Then he flashes you one of those warm, seductive smiles, and it hits you square in the heart. As he walks away, you don’t move—your mind still stuck on the rejected kiss. Sunghoon notices you lost in thought.
“Come on, hurry up,” he says before closing the door, leaving you alone once and for all.
You let out a long sigh that had been caught in your throat and finally stand up, following his orders.
The rest of the evening unfolds exactly as Sunghoon had planned—the two of you sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching anime and eating junk food. You sit in the right corner while Sunghoon takes the opposite side, but at some point, without you noticing, he inches closer and closer.
Your tired eyes scan the room, burning from the bright TV lights, when you suddenly notice Sunghoon asleep, his head resting on your lap.
You don’t remember him moving this close, nor do you recall him falling asleep. But instead of waking him, you stay still for a few more minutes, letting him rest.
It’s amusing to watch him blink awake, immediately staring at you with a confused expression plastered across his face. The moment he realizes where he is, he quickly apologizes and sits up, his cheeks flushing red at the unexpected closeness.
Yawning, you also get up from the sofa and start heading toward your room, eager to sink into the comfort of your bed.
Sunghoon watches as you walk past him, his eyes never leaving your body. A part of him urges him to run after you, to pull you into his bedroom—but he knows that would be crossing a line he could never return from.
So he stays frozen in place like a fool, watching as you disappear into your room, leaving him feeling dizzy and lonely.
“You first,” Sunghoon instructs as he holds open the heavy restaurant door, leaving space for you to pass so he can follow right after.
The restaurant is busy, filled with the sounds of chatter and laughter as soon as you step inside. The rich scent of barbecue fills your nose, making your stomach growl in anticipation.
A friendly woman stands by the entrance, greeting every guest with a warm smile. As soon as she spots the two of you, she quickly leads you to a table in the back of the room. It’s a table for four, surrounded by tall bamboo plants that provide a sense of privacy.
Sunghoon steps behind you, gently helping you take off your coat. Once done, he drapes it over the back of your chair before guiding you to sit. As you settle in, you glance up at him, wanting to show your gratitude for his gentlemanly actions. Your smile is met with his own as he walks around the table and takes the seat across from you.
Hungry, your eyes scan the menu quickly, already knowing what you want to order. Meanwhile, Sunghoon is still considering his choices. Resting your chin on your hand, you take a moment to admire the way his eyes focus so intently.
It’s Sunday, and since it’s yet another sunny day, Sunghoon invited you to join him at his favorite barbecue place. At first, you were taken aback by his request—he had never done this before. But then you remembered the dinner proposal from the night you injured yourself. He explained that this was the same thing, except this time, you’d be eating out instead of at home.
You smirked as you watched him struggle to get his words out, nervousness creeping in as he tried to explain his intentions. His flustered demeanor was endearing. You reassured him that it was a great idea and that you’d love to join him. The moment you said that, he let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Stop staring at me…” he suddenly says, putting down the menu.
“I can’t help it. The way you were shaking just to ask me to come here was so adorable,” you say sincerely. His reaction is sweet again—he quickly avoids your gaze, and you notice his ears turning red.
Sunghoon then calls out your order to the waitress, who gives him a thumbs-up and a smile. Your eyes wander to the large window next to your seat, offering the prettiest view of the Han River. Outside, people stroll leisurely, looking happy as if life regained its meaning with the sunlight. Your thoughts drift to a young couple sitting on a bench, the man handing the girl a bouquet of pink tulips, and it reminds you of Ni-ki and his sweet nature.
But your thoughts are interrupted by a loud, deep voice with a heavy accent. You turn your head to see a tall, brunette guy staring at Sunghoon, his eyes lighting up with joy.
“Sunghoon, it’s you! I haven’t seen you in so long!” he says happily, quickly leaning in to give Sunghoon a tight hug.
“Jake!” Sunghoon calls out, smiling. You notice how your husband’s face changes when his gaze lands on Jake. His eyes seem to sparkle like never before, and the smile on his lips is completely new—adorable.
“Oh, sorry for being impolite!” Jake quickly adds, looking toward you. “I’m Jake, Sunghoon’s childhood best friend!” The brunette bows at you, and you bow back.
“This is YN, my…” Sunghoon pauses, looking at you. “My wife,” he says softly, and the way the words roll off his tongue makes your cheeks turn red.
“Nice to meet you, Jake,” you say kindly, wanting to make a good impression. But despite his smile and politeness, confusion is written all over Jake’s face.
“What happened to Jiwon?” he asks shamelessly, his gaze returning to Sunghoon. Your husband glances at you, looking cornered. His features sharpen as he adjusts his shirt.
“We’re no longer together,” Sunghoon reassures, his brown eyes soft as they meet yours, as if trying to convince himself of that.
“Thank god, man,” Jake blurts out, leaving both of you baffled. “Don’t get me wrong,” he adds, noticing your confused stare, “she used to be a nice girl, but she was crazy as hell.” Your gaze shifts from Jake to Sunghoon. He’s looking at the plate in front of him, his expression weak and sad.
Silence settles for a few seconds, your eyes still glued to your husband’s. Jake seems to sense how uncomfortable the mood has become, and he glances at Sunghoon before speaking again. “It was good to see you, man. I hope we can go back to hanging out together!” He grins at his friend and pats his shoulder.
“If you want, you can sit with us!” you suggest, sensing Sunghoon hasn’t had the chance to catch up with his childhood friend in a while. Sunghoon looks at you, a mix of annoyance and happiness on his face. He’s a little disappointed that he’s no longer alone with you, but he’s also pleased to talk to his friend again.
“Sure, I’d love to!” Jake assures, taking a seat next to Sunghoon.
The conversation that follows is comfortable and fun. Jake starts telling you silly stories from their childhood, his excitement clear in his eyes. While listening intently, your eyes are fixed on Sunghoon. It’s the first time you’ve seen him laugh so openly, his friend’s easygoing nature making him open up a little more. You admire his big smile, so honest and happy, and how his brown eyes almost disappear when he laughs.
“I have to apologize for something, though,” Jake suddenly says, his gaze turning serious as he fully turns to face Sunghoon. “I shouldn’t have listened to her. It was selfish of me, but I really needed that job…” Jake explains, though you and your husband look at him with furrowed brows, clearly confused.
“Jake…” Sunghoon calls in a low voice, shaking his head and closing his eyes.
“No, listen, it’s my fault. I admit it,” the brunette insists, his accent growing heavier. Sunghoon seems to understand what’s going on, but you’re still confused.
“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling annoyed to be left out.
Jake glances at you, then at Sunghoon. “Jiwon, his ex. She prohibited me from talking to Sunghoon. She said I was a bad influence on him. When I told her I wouldn’t stop talking to my childhood best friend, she threatened me…” Jake explains slowly, watching as your mouth falls open in surprise. “Her dad was the owner of the advocacy agency I worked at the time, and she said she’d get me fired. My mom was in the hospital at that time, and I was helping my dad pay the bills,” he continues, now shifting his eyes to Sunghoon. “I regret it now because I was fired anyway. But I never stopped caring about you, Sunghoon. The guilt was heavy every day. I couldn’t even look at our pictures from when we were younger.”
Sunghoon looks down at his lap, his hands fidgeting as he listens to his best friend, his heart aching at the honesty in his words. When he lifts his head, you can see he’s holding back tears, his sighs trembling as they meet Jake's eyes.
“It’s okay,” Sunghoon assures his friend, patting his shoulder. “You’re here now; that’s all that matters!” He says with a sad smile. Jake pouts cutely before wrapping his arms around Sunghoon’s shoulders, hugging him tightly.
You’re so busy watching that you don’t even realize you have tears in your eyes, tiny and warm. A melancholic smile forms on your lips as Sunghoon glances at you, wanting to show you how happy he is. But the truth is, it’s such a sad situation that you can’t imagine how alone and abandoned Sunghoon must have felt.
Soon, the food is placed on the table, and the two friends get lost in conversation as they grill the meat, the delicious smell making you giggle like a child. Sunghoon, despite engaging in his friend's conversation, never stops looking out for you. He cuts the meat into bite-sized portions so you can easily pick it up with your fork, keeps an eye on your cup to make sure it’s always full, and watches what food you’re eyeing so he can serve it to you.
The time seemed to fly by faster than usual, and soon you find yourself at the entrance of your home. Sunghoon is on his knees, untying the knots in your heels and helping you slip into your fluffy pink slippers. You walk to the kitchen as your husband stays behind, taking off his shoes. Inside the empty kitchen, you go straight to the fridge and grab two beers, planning to head to the living room and relax.
Sunghoon seems to catch on to your plan, so he heads straight for the living room and claims his spot on the comfy sofa. You soon appear, now in comfortable pajama pants and a long t-shirt, your big glasses back on your face. When you realize where he’s sitting, you let out a loud laugh, catching his attention.
“In the middle? That’s new,” you joke, arching an eyebrow at him. Sunghoon gives you a teasing grin and pats the empty space beside him, inviting you over. You do as he gestures and sit by his side, your knee touching his. “What are we watching? There’s no basketball match today,” you ask, glancing at him.
He’s sitting in the middle of the couch, facing you, while his side is turned toward the TV. “Can we talk instead?” Sunghoon asks softly, studying your focused face.
“Sure!” you reply with a smile, turning to face him, your side now turned toward the television. He stays quiet for a few minutes, his thoughts tangled in his mind as he gathers the courage to start talking. Before speaking, his gaze drifts from your face to his restless hands, resting on his legs.
“Jiwon wasn’t always controlling,” he begins, trying to keep his voice steady. His heart aches at the thought of her, now despising how she treated him. Noticing that he wants to have a serious conversation, your expression shifts too—your eyes narrow, and your smile fades away. “At first, she was calm, loving, and patient. She was always there for me, and that’s what made me fall for her. But over time, she completely changed. She became mean and controlling, prohibiting me from leaving the house in certain clothes, and then from seeing my friends. The worst part was how she always made it seem like it was my fault, telling me that I was trying to show off my looks and that I was starved for other women’s attention. I never even thought about anyone else, you know?” Sunghoon asks, finally able to give you a quick glance. “I could only see her.”
Hearing this wasn’t easy. Your eyebrows furrow, and a lump forms in your throat, making it impossible to say anything. When he briefly looks at you, you try to convey how sorry you feel for him with your eyes. You stare into his deep brown eyes so intensely, you’re sure he can see your soul.
“When we got engaged, it got worse.” He paused, catching his breath as it became harder to breathe. “We moved in with my dad because he was so happy I got engaged and was finally ready to learn about managing his company. Since I was always in meetings and dinners with important people, she became jealous all the time. She’d call me ten times during busy meetings. That’s when she started hitting me. At first, it was pushing me with force, then it turned into punches on my shoulders and sides… Eventually, she started slapping me. Every time I didn’t agree with her or wasn’t home when she wanted, she used it as an excuse to hit me.”
Sunghoon seemed ashamed as he spoke, his gaze nervously shifting around the room. But your eyes never left his face. Tears began to form in your eyes as you listened, and before you could do anything, they started rolling down your cheeks. They were silent but heavy, your breathing unsteady, and your hands trembling. You couldn’t even begin to understand the pain and abuse he had endured.
“I started sleeping terribly by then, feeling lonely and depressed all the time. And I had no one. My dad knew everything but acted like he didn’t. My friends stopped talking to me, and my mom…” Sunghoon’s voice cracked as tears began to form in his eyes. “I was upset at my mom. She caught Jiwon hitting me and told me to leave her and make a report to the police, but instead, I got upset at her.” Without realizing it, his tears started to fall too, wetting his warm face.
Without thinking, you reached for him and cupped his face with both hands, forcing him to look at you. That’s when he noticed you were crying with him, sharing his pain as if you were feeling it too. Your small hands tried to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, hating to see him this way.
“It’s not your fault, Sunghoon,” you muttered, your voice cracking. “She was abusive and evil, and it had nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong,” you assured him, staring into his eyes as you spoke, your heart aching as if it were being stabbed.
“I know that…” he added, a sad smile forming in his eyes. “Now, I know that.”
“I’m so sorry you went through all of this,” you added, the tears now falling like a waterfall from your red eyes. It’s so unfair that he had to endure all of this, especially knowing his father was abusive too.
“It’s not your fault. You don’t need to apologize,” Sunghoon said, gently pulling your hands off his face. He opted to hold them instead, craving the warmth of your touch against his cold skin. “I miss my mom so much,” he confessed, his sad eyes searching for yours again.
“I’m sure she misses you too. She loves you so much,” you replied, trying to smile. “I’m sure if you ran to her arms, she wouldn’t question it. She’d just take you in, because after all, you are her son.” You squeezed his hands tightly as you spoke, trying to reassure him with your words.
Sunghoon didn’t say anything else and remained quiet, watching you, completely fascinated by your empathetic heart. If he wasn’t sure of what he felt for you before, he certainly was now. Under your caring gaze, Sunghoon tugged gently on your wrist, silently conveying what he wanted. You bit your lip and hid a smile, then got up and settled between his legs, your back against his chest. Your husband quickly wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder, inhaling your sweet perfume.
You let him do as he wished, knowing he craved closure after opening his heart to you. And to be honest, it felt good when he held you like this—his embrace was strong and comfortable. As the moon rose in the night sky, you and Sunghoon kept a familiar silence, enjoying each other’s presence.
The next two weeks pass by smoothly. Sunghoon starts eating dinner at home with you every day, always coming to the kitchen with a bright smile and a hungry stomach. You both talk and laugh about the stories he tells you about the company, and the atmosphere is comfortable and familiar. Usually, after eating, your husband helps you clean up and gather the dishes to load into the dishwasher.
Then, the old routine of hanging out in the living room follows, but ever since that afternoon, you and Sunghoon now spend more time together. He typically sits back against the sofa, opening his arms for you to snuggle against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. He then wraps his arms around you or caresses your soft hair, loving how it always smells clean and fresh.
Your hand is finally healed. Last week, Sunghoon drove you to your appointment, and the doctor removed the stitches, telling you to be careful for a few more days. You were so happy to finally be able to do your usual tasks instead of lying around all day. Today is no different. It’s almost seven pm, and Sunghoon must be close, so you finish the last touches on the meal.
Suddenly, your phone starts ringing, the loud music startling you. You check the caller ID and see Sunoo’s name. You almost forgot you asked him for a favor. You quickly accept his call:
“Hey girl, sorry for calling so late,” he greets from the other side.
“It’s okay…” you respond, noticing how hesitant his voice sounds. “Any news?”
“Yeah, that’s why I called.” Sunoo took a deep breath. “You were right. It was her who was giving him those pills. But they aren’t normal sleeping pills, YN. They’re drugs, actual drugs. My dad followed her for a few days and found out that she has a male friend who works at a pharmacy, and he provides her with drugs. He swaps them for the sleeping pills and gives her the bottles like it’s nothing.” As Sunoo explains, you feel your blood start to boil, your body temperature rising as you finally piece everything together. “We can meet another day so I can show you the evidence and explain it better!”
“Yes, of course!” Then, you hear Sunghoon’s car pull into the driveway. “Thank you, Sunoo. Tell your father he doesn’t owe me anything anymore. Sunghoon’s here, I have to go.” Just as you finish speaking, you hear him punch in the passcode and walk inside. Your fingers quickly end the call, and you try to act naturally. It’s hard to control your feelings when you first see Sunghoon. Today, he looks different—his face is serious, and his lips are pressed into a thin line.
You study him carefully, sensing something is wrong. Sunghoon steps into the kitchen without a word, circles the island, and comes close to you. He wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in your chest, catching you by surprise. Your hands quickly find their way to his hair, and you caress it as you wait for him to speak.
“Today was so stressful.” He whined with a pout on his lips, his eyes glancing at yours. “I feel so irritated, anytime someone talked to me today I was rude.” He explained, now lifting his head and pulling you flush against him, now your head was in his chest.
You inhale his scent, feeling your nerves begin to calm down. “It’s okay, I’m here with you now,” you say sweetly, looking up at him with doe eyes, making him feel like you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
You slowly pull away from him to guide him to the dinner table, then go to take care of the food. The jjajangmyeon is ready, and it smells delicious. You carefully place the bowl in front of him, then do the same for yourself. You sit across from him, and while you eat, you steal glances at his face. Your mind drifts to Jiwon, and you bite your lip, trying to contain the rage you feel. How could she do this to him? In addition to abusing him, she made him an addict. Sunghoon notices the way your face hardens and asks:
“You okay? You seem upset.” He asks while slurping his noodles.
“I’m fine, just frustrated, that’s all,” you explain, your eyes completely avoiding his.
“Frustrated? Like sexually, or in general?” Your mouth opens at the question, not expecting such a bold one. He sure has been a bit more comfortable with you lately.
“Sunghoon,” you call sternly, but your face betrays you as a soft red blush spreads across your cheeks.
Sunghoon doesn’t say anything else, just smirking as he keeps eating, clearly enjoying making you embarrassed. This past week, it’s been harder and harder for him to resist you. It feels like the more he gets to know you, the more desire burns inside him, consuming him every single night.
The rest of the meal is silent, except for the slurping of the noodles. When you’re done, you get up and start gathering your dishes for the dishwasher. Today, you’re eager to go to bed, not feeling very social since Jiwon keeps bugging your mind. Sunghoon soon follows behind you, also picking up his dishes and helping you load them correctly into the machine.
You try to avoid him as much as possible, feeling like you can’t be your usual sweet self. After helping you, he brings his work case to the table and takes out his laptop, wanting to work a little while in your presence. But as you try to pass by him at the table, he suddenly gets up from his chair and bumps into you, causing you to stumble onto the table. His expensive work bag is knocked over and falls open, spilling its contents onto the floor.
“I’m sorry, are you okay?” Sunghoon asks, concerned, his hand reaching out for your face, but you pull away.
“Yeah, sorry I made your stuff fall,” you joke, squatting down to begin picking up everything. Sunghoon follows suit, also gathering his things. That’s when he notices the small picture his ex gave him weeks ago. He tries to grab it, but before he can, your small hand picks it up first.
“What’s this?” you murmur more to yourself, inspecting the picture. You soon realize it’s a photo of Sunghoon and his ex-fiancée, his fake smile giving it away. Then, your fingers flip the picture to find a small bag with two pills inside. “Sunghoon…” you call, dangling the picture in your fingers.
“YN, I can explain,” he says, stuttering, already knowing he’s messed up.
“You better start explaining then,” you add nervously, standing up and crossing your arms. Your eyes are heavy as they stare into him.
“She gave me that a few weeks ago… I didn’t mean to take them, ever. Look—” He says, reaching out to grab the damn photograph. “The tape is intact. I didn’t take anything.”
“How did she give you this?” you ask, your voice rising as your blood starts to boil. You close your eyes, trying to calm your racing heart.
“I met her,” Sunghoon confesses, his head hanging as he speaks, too embarrassed to face you. “It was weeks ago, before you cut yourself. She—she was upset because I stopped reaching out to her, and she asked me to meet her.” He explains, now slowly stepping towards you, his hands reaching out for you. “I didn’t want to go—”
“But you went anyway,” you interrupt, your patience running thin. How could he do this to himself? Torture himself like this? As he gets closer, you step back, not wanting him to touch you right now.
“I went because I wanted to say goodbye to her. I never want to see her again. It was my way of saying goodbye,” Sunghoon explains, his eyes wide as he tries to justify himself.
“Sure,” you add, not believing a single word coming out of his mouth. Not wanting to argue further, you turn your back to him and start walking toward your bedroom. But it seems like Sunghoon isn’t done.
“Actually, I don’t know why I’m explaining myself. You don’t have anything to do with me,” he adds, feeling bitter and rejected as you walk away. His words make you stop. You slowly turn around and look at him.
“Oh, so now I don’t mean anything?” you add, feeling more hurt than angry. You knew he was pent up from work, and it was making him say whatever came to his mind. You weren’t exactly upset at him, but he was there at the moment, and you might have poured everything onto him.
“Wait, I didn’t—” Sunghoon starts to speak, running his hand through his hair. “You can’t tell me who I can meet and who I can’t. It doesn’t matter if I have feelings for you or not!” he adds, starting to feel angry again. “We’re not even together. Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?”
As the last words leave his mouth, they pierce through your heart like a blade, and tears begin to well up in your eyes. The sour truth leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You stare at him one last time without saying anything, your hands shaking and your legs feeling wobbly. A single tear falls from your eyes, but you quickly catch it with the back of your hand, feeling stupid for crying because of him.
Without saying another word, you turn your back to him again and walk up the staircase, avoiding him as much as possible. Sunghoon soon realizes what he’s said and sprints behind you, guilt consuming him. He didn’t mean any of those words. He didn’t even know why he said them. Maybe it was the frustration of the busy day or the way you looked at him, as if you were disappointed in him. To his dismay, as soon as he reaches the top of the stairs, you walk into your bedroom and slam the door right in his face.
And so, he stands by your closed door like an idiot, his head low as he debates whether he should knock and apologize or leave you alone.
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themioka · 2 days ago
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Shaw pack head cannons. I have pt2
Marie took up healing magic so that pack members wouldn't have to spend money to go to a healer after getting injured or sick. It wa her way of showing gratitude towards her pack for what they'd done for her and Milo.
Colm wanted Milo to work for the department, going so far to try and steer Milo in the direction of doing so. However, Milo was quick to catch on what Colm was doing, and the two broke out into a massive argument about it.
Asher's parents always felt guilty for leaving Asher behind in pursuit of traveling around the world. While yes he's an adult, and had the support of his packmates, unlike his sister who they where present for the majority of her life up until she moved with her husband back to his pack and hometown. They immediately left the moment Asher could legally care for himself. Asher didn't blame them, nor did he hold any kind of grudge against them. He just kinda wished they stuck around longer before they up and left.
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Milo has a sleeper build body, and it drives Sweetheart wild whenever he decides to flex just to get a rise out of them. He gets a huge ego boost out of it every time, too.
Milo is the very much, I love to stay /hang out more but I have to go check on my cat and make sure he's doing okay and that he gets fed, etc, kind of person.
Whenever Milo is coming home from a rough or stressful job, he'll just pick up Aggro and Sweetheart, before heading to the bedroom to snuggle with the two, gaining a few cheek/forehead kisses from Sweetheart before all three fall asleep in each other embrace.
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One time, Sweetheart spooked Milo into shifting out of fear, and they've never felt so bad in their life until now. Just immediately pulled Milo's wolf into a tight hug as they apologized to Milo, their hand instinctively running through his fur as they kept hugging him til Milo slowly shifted back. They managed to get a laugh about the whole thing, but it took a bit of convincing from Milo that he was absolutely fine from the whole thing.
Whenever Sweetheart is experiencing a panic attack or feels an oncoming attack, Milo's either away on a job or hanging out with the pack members. They'll go to hide in their shared closet until it passes, unaware that Aggro is following them until Aggro is crawling into their lap and begins nuzzling Sweetheart, making biscuits on their lap, or making "conversation" by constantly meowing at Sweetheart. Manging to calm down, Sweetheart will thank Aggro before carrying him to the bed to take a small nap with him. Only to wake up to Milo petting their head as he lays across from them, and Aggro curled up between them, purring loudly.
Sweetheart, who'll make sure everything is up to code on Quinn's security/containment, double checking and ensuring the man doesn't even have a chance at escaping. Sending a list of details and updates of what they've gathered to the pack group chat at the end of their shfit before heading home.
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Darlin struggles to break their terrible habit of hiding bruises, cuts, etc. They won't even acknowledge whatever cut or bruises they have until someone points it out. Sometimes getting a bit defensive about the whole thing, as they're still not used to the idea of relying or asking for help from others.
Darlin swears they're not a good teacher, that they don't know or can't teach, and on top of it, someone who isn't an exact role model. Yet, can't say no whenever one of the younger pack members come to them on help on either learning on how to fight in their wolf form, getting better a shifting, etc.
Darlin is covered in various scars, small, big, either faint or not, depending on how old they are, either visible from afar others you can't really see unless you're up close.
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Whenever Sam joins in on pack runs, the others even David will try and race against him, and he'll indulge in their antics, pretending to slow down and acting a bit tired before blowing past them with ease.
Has gotten caught up in their spins out though it typically gets a chuckle out of him, because they always end up in a tangled mess, and he's trying to get them to hold still while he untangled them rather than having them wiggle around as they untangle themselves from each other limbs.
Sam will give Darlin a few words of encouragement whenever they're struggling to interact with the pack. He is struggling to hide the look of pride on his face whenever Darlin does it without help.
Sam, who's made to sit separately from Darlin during pack movie nights by Asher, because the two always end up falling asleep, not even halfway through the movie. Asher's attempts fail though because the two just "magically" find themselves right next to each other a few minutes later and are vast asleep, Sam having a tight yet gentle grip around Darlin's waist keeping them close and tight against him.
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David used to be in between a heavy sleeper and a light sleeper. However, after the inversion, he became an extremely light sleeper at the time, practically waking up to the sound of the blanket moving. He's gotten a bit better over time, but every now and then, he'll be awoken by the tiniest of noise.
Saw someone say that Darlin possibly has a limp due from the fights they've been in, 100% agree on it, yet overtime Darlin has learned how to adapt and normally functional with it, almost as if they've never had it. But given their age, they sometimes struggle to keep up on pack runs, so David will act as support and stick by them as they run together.
David gets dragged into the little playful scuffles that are mostly started by Asher, though he acts a bit annoyed by it. You can tell he enjoys these kinds of things that allow him to act like a kid/teen again. He'll sometimes switch up on sides every now and then or just team up on Asher with Milo and Darlin, ignoring Asher complaints that 3v1 is unfair.
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Angel will help David in looking for places that are suitable for Sam, of anything they can possibly bring with them if the place they're going to doesn't have much or doesn't offer any kind of shade, just to ensure Sam doesn't miss out on anything even if he claims he does mind being exclude from a few things.
(Both David and Angel won't allow it)
Whenever Angel manages to get David to lie on top of them, they'd usually have to hold onto him to get him to stay because he'll only lay on them for a few minutes, before trying to move, because he believes they'll end up hurt if he stays on top of them longer than usual.
Angel enjoys poking David's sides as they love getting a reaction out of him. Sometimes, David will pull them close to him in a tight embrace, growling in their ear for them to stop, or he'll punish them later for their behavior.
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You know those people who always have their arm around or hands on the person shoulders they're standing right next to because it feels weird if they don't or like have no idea what to do with their limbs in general. And on top of it, they give that little shoulder side pat or do that little shake when they get excited or happy about it. That's Asher, and it doesn't matter who it is, Babe, David, basically anyone who's close in range, Asher automatically has an arm slung over them or a hand on their shoulder.
Asher is very popular with kids since he's down to play with them whenever they invite/nag him to come play with them. Answers their questions with a silly response before going on to ask them questions that typically get a laugh out of them. Gets a laugh at pretending to scare the absolute crap out of their parents whenever he pretends he's dropped the kid whenever holding them. 100%, the one who starts tickle fights among the children. It's not uncommon for him to be the children jungle gym. On top of it, he'll be having a conversation with someone while it's happening and is 100% unphased by it.
Asher who'll jump onto one of the packmates back in a surprise greeting, the other typically being able to support the sudden weight but every now and then, it's enough to send both of them to the floor.
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Babe frequently smacks Asher's hand away whenever they're eating in or out, because no matter how much of their food they give Asher, it seems he's always coming back for more but at this point it's 50/50 for either more food or loving the reaction he's getting out of Babe.
Babe loves getting a rise out of Asher whenever they're over at Milo's and Sweetheart's place and just start loving on Aggro while Asher is whining at them. Milo often joins in, telling Babe how they should get a cat and telling them the perks about owning one, Babe acting all interested in what Milo's telling them all while "ignoring" Asher who's clinging onto them and whining on how they don't need a cat as they have him who is in his words much cooler than a cat.
Every now and then, whenever they're eating in or out, Babe will pretend they're full and offer the rest of their food to Asher, who's been eyeballing their plate after finishing his food.
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grifffins · 3 days ago
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🔮 The Fool’s Journey (Into Trouble) 🔮 | Ch. 6
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Lilia Calderu x fem!reader
summary: A slow morning, a heated moment, and a long awaited first date, because some things are worth savouring.
wc: 3.7k (Chapter 6/?)
a/n: hate to break it to you, but we’re nearing the end, i think there's only one more chapter left after this, rip. again- ofccc there’s smut in this! love y’all!!
Ch. 5
also on ao3
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I wake up slowly, the first thing I register is the warmth, the solid, comforting weight of Lilia spooning me again, her arm draped lazily over my waist, her breath soft against the back of my neck. I sigh, stretching slightly into her hold, and the movement makes me moan softly under my breath.
She stirs behind me, her lips brushing lightly over my shoulder as her hand begins to trace gentle, aimless patterns on my bare skin. It’s soothing, intimate, and entirely too much.
“Lilia,” I murmur, my voice still heavy with sleep. “I need you to stop if you don’t want me to combust.”
She laughs softly, the sound vibrating against me, and I can feel her lips curve into a smile against my skin. “You’re so dramatic in the mornings,” she teases, her fingers not stopping their lazy exploration.
I groan, flipping over to face her, and grin despite the heat building low in my stomach. “I’m serious.”
Lilia smiles back at me, softer this time, and I swear she’s never looked more beautiful than she does in the morning, hair messy, eyes warm, skin glowing in the early light filtering through the window.
My heart stutters for a beat before my leg instinctively slips between hers, seeking more closeness. It’s meant to be innocent, just to feel her, to be with her, but then—
We’re both wet.
I freeze, and she does too, our eyes meeting in silent acknowledgment. I swallow hard, feeling the heat of her pressed against me, and she looks down before flicking those dark eyes back up to me with something dangerous.
We move at the same time, slowly, subtly, grinding softly against each other, our breaths coming faster, the friction sending sparks down my spine.
I groan, gripping her waist, my forehead pressing against hers. “Lilia...”
“What?” she whispers, her lips brushing against mine, teasing, torturous.
I swallow, my body trembling with the need clawing at me. “I need...”
Her fingers trail up my arm, ghosting over my skin. “What do you need, baby?”
“You,” I breathe, my voice raw and desperate. “I need you.”
She exhales shakily, her eyes softening, her fingers curling against my jaw. “You have me.”
I let out a frustrated sigh, rolling onto my back and tugging her with me, my hands tightening around her hips, guiding her forward, wordlessly, insistently. My gaze flickers up, heated, expectant. “Sit on my face.”
Lilia’s eyes widen, and for a moment, she just stares at me. “Are you insane?” she breathes, half amused, half scandalised.
I smirk, my hands gripping her hips, pulling her closer. “No,” I say, my voice thick with need. “I need you, Lilia. All of you.”
For a second, I think she’s going to argue, but then she lets out a low, almost feral sound and straddles my chest. She hesitates, hovering above me, but I don’t give her a chance to think. I wrap my arms around her thighs and pull her down onto my mouth, groaning the second I taste her.
Lilia gasps, one hand shooting to the headboard for support, the other tangling in my hair as I devour her, licking and sucking with slow, deliberate strokes. She’s soaked, and I revel in it, moaning into her as I drink her in like I’ve been starving for this.
Her moans fill the room, soft and breathy at first, but quickly growing louder as I work my tongue against her, my grip on her thighs tightening to hold her exactly where I want her.
“y/n—” she gasps, her hips rolling against my face, grinding in a way that has me dizzy with how much I want her. “Oh, fuck.”
I hum against her, the vibration making her cry out, and I feel her thighs tremble around me. I grip her ass, pulling her down harder, deeper, wanting all of her.
“Don’t stop,” she moans, and I have no intention of stopping. I flick my tongue, sucking hard on her clit, and the way she clenches above me, the way her legs shake, I know she’s close.
“Let go,” I murmur against her, my voice muffled but clear. “Come for me, Lilia.”
And she does.
She spasms above me, moaning loudly, clutching the headboard with one hand and tugging at my hair with the other as she falls apart completely. Her whole body shakes as I work her through it, licking and kissing her until she finally collapses onto me, breathless and trembling.
I grin against her thigh, pressing one last, teasing kiss there before pulling back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand as I look up at her with pure satisfaction.
Lilia groans, sliding off me and collapsing onto the bed beside me, covering her face with her hands. “You’re going to kill me.”
I laugh, rolling onto my side and pulling her hands away so I can kiss her flushed cheeks. “Worth it.”
She huffs a laugh, shaking her head. “I’m never letting you leave this bed.”
“Promise?” I smirk, running my fingers down her body, and she groans, pulling me in for another kiss.
The soft morning light filters through the room, and for the first time in a long time, everything feels right.
The morning moves in slow, lazy waves. After the intensity of everything, we stay tangled together in Lilia’s bed, limbs draped over each other, skin warm and soft beneath the sheets.
I’m still a little breathless, feeling the echoes of her touch lingering all over me. Lilia lies on her back, one arm curled under her head, her dark curls spilling messily over the pillow. She’s watching me with that sleepy, satisfied smile that makes my heart feel like it’s melting.
Her fingers idly trace shapes along my bare arm, a lazy, soothing rhythm that makes it hard to focus on anything but her touch.
“You’re looking awfully pleased with yourself,” she murmurs, amusement lacing her voice.
I grin, letting my head rest on her shoulder, inhaling the faint scent of her perfume—warm, familiar, intoxicating. “Can you blame me?” I sigh, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. “You look too good in the morning.”
Lilia hums in amusement, pulling me closer. “Flatterer.”
I lift my head, propping myself up on an elbow to look at her properly. “I’m serious. You should see yourself. All messy and soft and—” I pause, smirking, “—totally debauched.”
She lets out a low laugh, rolling her eyes. “Debauched?”
I nod solemnly. “Utterly. And it’s all thanks to me.”
She smirks, brushing a hand through my hair. “Yes, well, you’re very talented.”
I preen, grinning against her skin. “I aim to please.”
Her laugh is soft this time, and we fall into a comfortable silence. I watch the way her chest rises and falls, how peaceful she looks like this, unguarded, relaxed. It’s a side of her I never get to see enough, and I don’t want to let it go just yet.
Eventually, my stomach lets out a low growl, and I groan dramatically. “I think we need food.”
Lilia chuckles, lazily stretching her limbs before reaching for her robe. “I suppose we do.”
I groan, rolling onto my back. “Nooo, stay in bed with me forever.”
She tugs the pillow away, smirking down at me. “You’ll survive for a few minutes without me.”
“Doubt it,” I grumble, but I let her slip out of bed anyway, watching as she ties the robe around her waist and saunters off toward the kitchen. I take a moment to just... breathe. To let the reality of this, us, sink in.
It’s slow, it’s soft, and it’s nice.
After a few minutes, I gather the energy to drag myself out of bed, slipping into one of Lilia’s shirts from the dresser before padding barefoot into the kitchen. Lilia’s already making coffee, her movements graceful despite the sleep still clinging to her.
I wrap my arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. “I could get used to this.”
She hums, leaning back into me. “Mmm, don’t get too comfortable, baby.”
I smirk against her skin. “Too late.”
Breakfast is slow, Lilia insists on making it from scratch, even though I offer to order something instead. I sit on the counter, watching her cook, making little comments here and there just to see her roll her eyes at me.
Eventually, we settle into the couch, plates balanced on our laps, the TV playing some old black-and-white movie in the background that neither of us are really paying attention to.
The day stretches out like that easy touches, soft laughter, a few stolen kisses here and there. It’s the kind of day where the world outside doesn’t matter, where all that exists is us, in this space, in this moment.
And for once, I don’t feel the need to rush anything.
After spending most of the day wrapped up in each other, literally and figuratively, I finally sigh and stretch, reluctantly pulling away from Lilia’s warmth on the couch.
She doesn’t say anything at first, just hums softly, her gaze still fixed on the old movie playing on the TV, fingers idly tracing patterns against my thigh.
I linger for a moment, watching the way the flickering screen casts soft shadows across her face, the way she looks so effortlessly at ease. But eventually, I push myself up, stretching out the last remnants of drowsy contentment.
Lilia glances over, her lips parting slightly like she might say something, but instead, she just watches as I reach for my things, her expression unreadable.
I hesitate, just for a second, then exhale and run my fingers lightly over the back of her hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her fingers curl around mine briefly, a fleeting touch, and then she nods. “Tomorrow,” she echoes, quiet.
She leans in, brushing her lips against mine in a kiss that’s gentle, lingering, something full of promise. “Drive safe,” she whispers against my lips.
I grin, my heart doing somersaults. “You’re such a grandma.”
Lilia chuckles, rolling her eyes. “You’re impossible.”
I step back, winking at her. “You love it.”
She doesn’t deny it, just watches me go with a small, knowing smile.
As I head home, I can’t help but smile to myself, my fingers ghosting over my lips, already thinking about the next time I see her.
I make it home, stepping inside and leaning against the door with a deep, satisfied sigh. I’m blissed out, practically glowing and okay, maybe a little sore, but it’s the good kind of sore. The kind that has me biting my lip and smiling to myself like a lovesick idiot.
I barely have time to bask in the aftermath before there's a knock at the door.
Oh no.
I pull myself together and open it, only to find the entire coven standing there, arms full of wine, chocolate, and the kind of guilty expressions that immediately make me suspicious.
Agatha steps forward first, dramatically waving a bottle of red wine. “Okay, y/n,” she says, her voice heavy with regret. “I am so sorry.”
I blink at her, still in a daze. “For what?”
Jen steps inside, plopping onto my couch like she owns the place. “We really thought we could make it happen, you know?” she sighs. “We tried everything.”
Billy nods solemnly, setting down a ridiculous amount of chocolate bars on the coffee table. “And it just… didn’t work. We failed you.”
Alice pats my arm, looking heartbroken. “I just—I'm sorry, babe. We really thought it was gonna happen.”
I stare at them, completely thrown off. “Wait—what?”
Agatha sighs dramatically, dropping onto the couch beside Jen and pouring herself a glass of wine. “We’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just no use. You and Lilia? It’s never gonna happen.”
I choke on my own breath, barely keeping my composure. “You… what?”
Jen nods sagely. “It’s time to face facts, y/n. She’s just... stuck in her ways.”
Billy winces. “We did our best. But Lilia’s stubborn, and maybe she’s just not into it.”
I nearly burst out laughing, but I managed to cover it with a cough. “Uh—” I clear my throat, trying not to look too smug. “Yeah, uh, what a shame.”
Jen furrows her brows, taking a long sip of her wine and then narrowing her eyes at me. "Wait a minute... you haven’t even changed since yesterday?” She gasps, clutching her chest dramatically. “Oh my god, y/n, you must be devastated."
I open my mouth to respond, but Agatha is already launching into her own regret-filled speech. “I’m so sorry, y/n,” she sighs, resting a hand on my shoulder with a dramatic flair. “For dragging you into this whole mess. I really thought—”
“Agatha.”
She ignores me, shaking her head in self-pity. “I mean, I can be a little pushy, I know. I just wanted to help, but I—”
“Agatha.”
“I should’ve listened when you said you’d handle it yourself,” she mutters, rubbing her temples. “I get too involved, but I mean well, I swear—”
“Agatha.”
She finally looks at me, her expression guilty, and then Jen and Billy jump in, nodding their heads furiously.
“She’s right,” Billy says, shoving a piece of chocolate in his mouth. “We’re all sorry, y/n.”
Alice nods, biting her lip. “Yeah, we pushed too hard. We get it.”
I sigh, shaking my head, feeling warmth in my chest despite their dramatics. “Guys. Seriously—”
Before I can finish, my phone buzzes on the table, and my eyes immediately dart to the screen. The second I see Lilia's name flashing across it, I can’t help the smirk that pulls at my lips.
I unlock it quickly, biting my lip as I read her message.
Lilia: I can still taste you, baby.
My eyes widen, and I choke on absolutely nothing, scrambling to keep my face neutral. But the coven? Oh, they notice.
Jen narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Who’s that?”
I shrug, doing my best to play it cool, but I can feel the heat creeping up my neck. “No one.”
Agatha, ever the detective, gives me a once over, her gaze flicking from my face down to my clothes, yesterday’s clothes. Her eyes narrow dangerously, and I can see the moment realisation dawns.
Her mouth drops open. “y/n,” she says slowly, with the precision of someone who has just uncovered the best gossip of the year. “You’re not in the same clothes because you’re upset.”
Billy gasps. “Oh my God.”
Jen’s eyes widen in horror and delight. “No. Way.”
Alice just smirks knowingly. “Knew it.”
I shift uncomfortably, clutching my phone a little tighter. “Guys, it’s not—”
Agatha leaps up, pointing at me with wild excitement. “You didn’t come home last night!”
Billy lets out a high-pitched squeal. “SHE DIDN’T COME HOME!”
Jen groans, falling back onto the couch dramatically. “We just spent an hour planning on how to comfort you, thinking Lilia was a lost cause, and you were, oh my God, you were getting laid!”
Agatha clutches her chest. “I feel so betrayed.”
I groan, running a hand through my hair. “Okay, relax, it’s not—”
“Oh, it so is.” Agatha’s eyes gleam with triumph, and then she snatches my phone out of my hands before I can stop her. She reads the message, and her face lights up. “Oh my God.”
I reach for my phone, but she yanks it away. “Lilia Calderu, you dirty—”
“Give it back!” I whine, lunging at her, but Jen and Billy are cackling, and Alice is sipping her wine like this is the most entertaining thing to happen all year.
Agatha grins, finally handing the phone back. “You have to tell us everything. Right now. Every single detail.”
Billy leans in eagerly. “How many times?”
Jen groans. “Boundaries, Billy!”
I groan, covering my face with my hands. “You guys are the worst.”
Alice smirks. “We know.”
I swirl the wine in my glass, barely listening to the chatter around me. The coven is waiting, anticipation thick in the air, but I let them simmer, savoring the way they’re practically vibrating with curiosity.
Then I smile, small, knowing, and take a slow sip.
The silence that follows is deafening.
Then chaos.
I barely hear them. Agatha smirks, watching me carefully. “You’re glowing, you know that?”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up.”
Alice raises her glass in a toast. “To y/n, finally closing the deal.”
Billy sighs dreamily. “And to Lilia for finally caving.”
We all clink glasses, and as they start spiraling into speculation, I sit back, smiling to myself.
I may not have told them everything, but they don’t need to know all the details. Some things,some very, very good things, are just for me.
I’m sitting there, grinning like an idiot, warmth buzzing in my chest as they all stare at me expectantly. I feel good. No, I feel amazing. And for once, I’m not overthinking it. Lilia wants me. I want her. And that’s all that matters right now.
The thought settles deep in my chest, warm and certain. I barely hesitate before pulling up our messages, before typing out the only thing that matters.
Me: I want to take you out. A real date. Just us.
My phone buzzes. I freeze, staring at it like it’s a ticking time bomb.
I take a deep breath and open the message.
Lilia: A date, huh? I’d love that, baby.
My face erupts into a grin.
The coven goes all in on helping me plan the perfect date. As soon as I tell them Lilia said yes and I told her to be ready by 7 PM tomorrow, it’s like a switch flips.
The next day is a blur of preparation. The coven is relentless, hair, makeup, last-minute pep talks. Billy insists on doing my eyeliner with precision, while Agatha gives me a crash course in charming dinner conversation, not that I need it.
Finally, at 6:45 PM, I’m standing at Lilia’s doorstep, heart pounding in my chest.
I take a deep breath, smoothing my dress down, and knock lightly.
There’s a beat of silence, and then the door opens.
And there she is.
Lilia stands there, dressed in something effortlessly elegant, curls framing her face, lips painted a shade of red that should honestly be illegal. Her eyes rake over me slowly, and I swear I see the corner of her lips twitch in approval.
“Y/n,” she murmurs, her voice smooth and warm. “You look...”
I smirk, leaning against the doorframe. “Good enough to eat?”
She chuckles, stepping aside to let me in.
And with that, our night begins.
The car ride to the restaurant is filled with a quiet, comfortable tension, the kind where every glance, every brush of our hands as I shift gears, feels electric. Lilia sits in the passenger seat, legs crossed, her fingers resting delicately on her lap. She’s wearing a sleek black dress that hugs her figure just right, and I have to focus very hard on the road and not on the way her bare legs look under the dim streetlights.
Every once in a while, I catch her stealing a glance at me, and when our eyes meet, she smiles, soft, knowing, like she’s already figured out exactly how this night is going to end.
When we pull up to the little Italian place, the warm glow of fairy lights twinkling outside, she lets out a soft hum of approval. “You remembered,” she says, stepping out of the car with effortless grace.
I grin, locking the car and offering her my arm. “Of course I did.”
The hostess seats us at a cozy little corner table, the kind that’s half-hidden by soft lighting and a curtain of ivy hanging from the ceiling. The air smells like freshly baked bread, simmering garlic, and expensive wine. It’s warm, intimate, perfect.
Lilia takes her seat across from me, and I swear she’s watching me with that look, the one that makes my knees weak and my stomach flutter.
“Nice choice,” she murmurs, running a finger along the rim of her wine glass. “You planning on wooing me, baby?”
I smirk, leaning back in my chair. “Is it working?”
She tilts her head, considering me with those dark, unreadable eyes. “We’ll see.”
We order, and the conversation flows easily, like it always does with her. Lilia has this way of making everything feel effortless, slipping in teasing remarks between bites of pasta and stolen sips of my wine.
Reaching across the table to trace my fingers lightly over hers. “I like you, Lilia,” I say softly, the teasing slipping away for just a moment. “I want to do this right.”
Something flickers in her eyes, something softer, more hesitant, but she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she turns her hand over, lacing our fingers together. “I know.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then she smirks, squeezing my hand. “But that doesn’t mean you won’t suffer a little.”
I groan. “Why do I feel like I’ve signed up for something dangerous?”
Lilia laughs, and it’s low and sultry, sending shivers down my spine. “Because you have.”
Dinner passes in a blur of teasing touches and lingering gazes. She steals bites from my plate, and I let her, if only because it gives me an excuse to watch the way her lips wrap around the fork. At one point, her foot brushes purposefully against mine under the table, and I nearly choke on my drink.
Between the stolen touches and playful glances, there are quiet moments too, soft words exchanged in the dim candlelight. She tells me about the book she’s been reading, the way the characters remind her of people she once knew. I listen, captivated, as she speaks with that gentle, thoughtful lilt that always makes me feel like the only person in the world.
I tell her things I wouldn’t tell anyone else, how tonight feels different, how I wish time would slow down just a little.
By the time dessert arrives, I’m leaning into her space, our conversation quieter, more intimate.
“You look beautiful tonight,” I murmur, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.
Lilia’s lips curl in that slow, dangerous smile of hers. 
I swallow, my pulse racing, I lift her hand to my lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.
Her eyes darken, and I know, this night is only just beginning.
99 notes · View notes
littlefireball · 3 days ago
Note
Heyy congrats for 500!!🎊🎉
So for your event, can you do san+e2l+werewolf au+smut please?? Thank you in advence 💜
ᴄꜱ|[ᴍ]|ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ
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ᴡᴇʀᴇᴡᴏʟꜰ ꜱᴀɴ x ᴡᴇʀᴇᴡᴏʟꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ꜰᴛ.ʏᴜɴʜᴏ)
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ʟᴏɴɢ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ~(ᴜɴʀᴇQᴜɪᴛᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ//ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ…ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ?ɪᴅᴋ ʜᴀʜᴀ)//ꜱʟᴏᴡ ʙᴜʀɴ//ᴍᴀɴʏ ꜰʟɪʀᴛɪɴɢ (ɪ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ?)
ʟᴏɴɢ~ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ᴏʀᴀʟ|ᴅᴏᴍ & ꜱᴜʙ?|ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʜʜ…?|ᴋɴᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ|ᴍᴀʀᴋɪɴɢ|ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴘɪᴇ|ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ…(ʜᴍᴍ…ꜱᴏ ᴍᴀʏ. ᴛᴏᴏ ʟᴀᴢʏ ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ʟᴏʟ) (ᴀ/ɴ: ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍʟʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ)
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 11.8ᴋ (ᴡᴏᴡ…ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏɴɢᴇꜱᴛ ꜰɪᴄ ᴇᴠᴇʀ)
Summary: You had harbored a crush on Yunho for quite some time, even though they knew they weren't each other's destined mates. She thought her affection would persist indefinitely, unaware that the arrival of a woman would be the catalyst for her heartbreak. That is until your enemy, San appeared, reigniting the fire in her heart.
(a/n: This fanfic is really long lol. I originally wanted to shorten it, but there are a lot of things I want to add.  This is the plot that inspired me when I was playing c.ai. I like it so much that I have always wanted to write about it.  Although I don't think many people will read or like this article, I'll still post it🫠.  Also, I haven't had much interest in writing lately (again!). Inspiration is so fickle, and my traffic has dropped a lot.🥲  So these may be the last few fanfics (there is still a request that has not been written). Anyway, thank you all for your support.)
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You find yourself perched on the soft, empty grass, your gaze tracing the movements of a tall figure in the distance. It's Yunho, the heir to your clan's leader and your childhood best friend. Each time his eyes inadvertently lock with yours, a flutter of excitement stirs in your heart, and a smile tugs at your lips without your consent. 
You had feelings for him, yet the harsh truth remains: he was not your mate. This reality became painfully clear in the first transformation, yet you refused to relinquish your hopes, clinging to this unrequited love. Perhaps this is your quiet rebellion against the whims of fate, even if it seems utterly foolish and pathetic.
"Hey, dumbass. Watching your favourite prince practicing?" Suddenly, an annoying voice pierced the air from behind you. Your wolf ears perked up, detecting the sound of approaching footsteps. Great, it was him again—the bully from the Wonderland clan, Choi San. 
You hated him. A Lot. He always treated you like some kind of plaything, constantly teasing you. It felt like he was a ghost, popping up wherever you went, almost like he was stalking you. You really wished you had killed him in last year's match. If you had just been a bit more ruthless, you wouldn't be dealing with this mess. But that's just a fantasy you tell yourself.
"No matter how much you like him, he won't like you back. Idiot" San said and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, resting his head against yours. God damn it…she really smelled good… He couldn't help but lean in closer, silently sniffing your scent. It drove him crazy. 
"Shut up and fuck off." You let out an annoyed sigh at the sound of his voice. Your blood felt like it was simmering, and the urge to shove him away was almost overwhelming. Yet, you remained still. The way his body was pressed so closely against yours left you feeling vulnerable, a sensation you were reluctant to acknowledge.
You want more…more…
He was all too aware of that. San's icy grip on your shoulder only grew more possessive, pulling you closer against him. His breath landed the nape of your neck, his lips tantalizingly close to your ear. 
"He's probably thinking of some chick from another clan." San grinned, relishing the way your skin felt against his. From the moment he laid eyes on you during the match, he sensed you were meant to be his, yet you never admitted it. Absurdly, your heart belonged to Yunho. It drove him wild with frustration. But honestly, San didn't have any real romantic feelings for you; it was just his alpha instincts and a fierce possessiveness urging him to make you his.
"He's not like you." You scoffed, trying to break his hold. "He's much better than you annoying asshole." 
"How do you know?" 
"That's common sense." 
"C'mon, you know nothing about me…" San chuckled smugly, clearly relishing every moment. It was like he could sense your anger and was just itching to provoke you further. "I bet you will find me more attractive than that guy…" His hand slid down your arm, locking around your wrist, his breath sending a shiver down your spine, which you tried to shake off.
"Look at you, still as cute as ever," he teased,  "Can't handle a little touch, huh, puppy?" 
This was really getting under your skin. Your face felt hot, and your heart was racing like crazy. Why did he have to be so damn attractive and annoying? You attempted to keep your cool, but it was nearly impossible with San so near. 
He slid his hand down a bit more, now resting on your hip. "You look adorable when you're all shy and flustered, puppy," San laughed, pulling you in even closer.
"Hey, you!!Enough─" "Hands off!!" Your sentence was abruptly interrupted by a voice you knew all too well, drawing your gaze to the approaching figure.
It was Yunho, the one who made your heart race.
"I take it that a Wonderland wolf isn't welcome here?" Yunho remarked, his tone authoritative yet playfully teasing. You gazed at him as if he were your hero, prompting an irritated growl from San.
"Tsk… Mind your own business," San retorted, tapping his foot impatiently, shooting him a frustrated look. He couldn't stand how your face lit up with relief at Yunho's presence. It should have been him who made you feel secure, the one you clung to, not this guy.
Yunho moved in closer, his grip tightening around your wrist as he pulled you away from San's grasp. A jolt of electricity shot through you at his touch, but it was quickly overshadowed by a wave of disappointment as San's presence faded. Why did it feel wrong? You should have been relieved, yet the feeling of loss washed over you.
"This is my clan's territory. You have no right to lay a hand on my pack member without my consent," Yunho declared, looming over San, who instinctively took a step back.
"Tsk…so possessive," San retorted, attempting to stand his ground, but Yunho paid him no mind. "Now, leave my clan. I won't warn you again." Other wolves gathered around Yunho, their eyes fixed on San with a mix of disdain, as if he were an unwelcome intruder.
"Alright, alright," San said, raising his hands in mock surrender, a smirk still playing on his lips. "I'm leaving, no need for violence." He took a slow step back, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before shifting back to Yunho, then he turned and walked away.
Yunho spun around, worry etched on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked. You smiled and nodded, reassuring him. "Yeah… I'm good…"
"Be careful next time, okay? He is not a nice guy, you know…" He ruffled your hair, smiling lovingly. You loved how he laughed which was making your heart skip a beat. "You know you're my best friend and I will keep you safe." 
"Okay…" You nodded, a blush creeping in. "Yunho, shall we hang—"
But before you could continue, a girl burst in. "Yunho!!" He looked up, shifting his focus to her. 
"Oh, hey, Jessica." He smiled awkwardly at her.
"What's wrong?Has something bad happened?I heard a wolf from Wonderland came here?" 
"Relax…relax…nothing happened." 
"Oh…thank god…" Jessica nodded with a smile. She was stunning, tall, and had gorgeous fur that made every wolf swoon. "Is this your friend?" Jessica asked, looking at you and pointing, which made you feel a bit uneasy. She was sweet and friendly, but there was always something off about her.
"Yeah…this is my friend, Y/N." Yunho looked at you quickly before focusing back on Jessica. 
"Ohhh!Y/N!Yunho mentioned you a lot." She giggled, trying to play the part of the sweet girl. You could only respond with a forced smile, clearly not thrilled to be around her. You understood her game; she was just flaunting how much Yunho chatted with her. 
Jessica seemed to enjoy your reaction, while Yunho appeared to be silently enduring the whole situation. He wasn't as energetic as he usually was, and definitely not as shy around a girl. It was obvious he had a crush on her too.
She glanced at the clock that was hanging from the tree, keeping an eye on the time. "Oh no! My first training session is about to start. I need to head out, catch you later, Yunho." She playfully messed up Yunho's hair before starting to walk off. Yunho stayed put for a moment, fixing his hair that had fallen over his eyes. He looked at you and let out a soft sigh.
"She's always like that…" Although he was complaining, you could see a small smile tug on his lips which made your heart tighten. He would never show this side to you. For him, you were just his friend, a normal member in his pack. 
"It seems you like that a lot, huh?" 
"Why would you ask that?" 
"Am I wrong?" 
"What?Are you jealous?" 
"Don't try to change the subject, Yunho." 
"Fine…I might have a tiny bit of feelings for Jessica." 
"Just tiny?" You forced a smile despite your heart was arching. 
"You're forcing me to admit to liking her more, aren't you?"
"Just be honest."
"Fine…I'll admit it…I do like her a lot." 
His words struck your heart like a sudden blow, shattering it with a force that left you reeling in pain. Yet, you stifled the hurt, attempting to sweep it under the rug. Confessing your feelings to him was out of the question; it could shatter the friendship between you two.
"Is she your mate…?" You asked tentatively. Deep down, you were aware of the truth, but a tiny part of you still clung to the hope that he might say otherwise.
"Yeah… I can sense it," he admitted, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice. 
Your hope was shattered. 
"But we haven't marked… you know…"
"Alright, I don't need the details." You joked, trying to keep things light.
"Me neither," He laughed. "I should get going now. Hope you find your mate soon." He turned and walked away, not glancing back, leaving you with a heart that felt like it was breaking into pieces.
He spotted her right away and rushed off to find Jessica, his face lit up with a grin that was a complete contrast to how he acted around you. It was like you didn't even exist; you were just invisible. Every single time you tried to talk to Yunho, Jessica would magically show up and grab his focus. All you could do was stand there quietly, watching them laugh and chat, completely ignoring you. 
A few hours later, you found yourself at the cafeteria, waiting for Yunho as you always did. The events of the morning still weighed heavily on your mind, but you tried to push them aside. However, the moment Yunho walked in, your heart plummeted. He was with Jessica again, their laughter ringing out like a melody, a perfect harmony that made your stomach churn. They seemed destined for each other, a bond that transcended any mark, hinting at a future you could only dream of.
"Hey, Y/N!" Jessica's voice cut through your thoughts, pulling you back to reality.
"Hey…" you replied softly, forcing a smile that felt more like a mask.
Her smile in return was laced with a sense of superiority, a silent acknowledgment of the power she held. You recognized it, but kept your thoughts to yourself. Then, your gaze fell on her necklace, its shape unmistakable—a piece that held memories of a shared childhood.
"oh…are you seeing this?" she said, deliberately playing with it. "Yunho gave it to me~"
"He gave you?!" The surprise slipped out before you could contain it. That necklace was a cherished gift from Yunho, one that you both had exchanged long ago. The realization stung, a mix of confusion and hurt flooding your heart.
"Yah yah yah. Who told me to lose the bet?" Yinho shook his head but a smile tugged on his lips. 
"Bet?" 
"Yes~ I thought this necklace was lovely, so I asked for it as a reward. He lost, after all. But I heard it was your childhood necklace? You don't mind, do you? We're friends, after all~"
"Don't mind?" A laugh escaped you, tinged with disbelief, but before you could voice your protest, Yunho interjected.
"She won't mind. And wait, did you just call me a loser?"
"Of course! Who else would it be?" Jessica teased, her laughter ringing out.
"Hey! Knock it off!" Yunho exclaimed, but they continued their playful banter, completely oblivious to your presence. 
You felt like a mere spectator in a scene that should have been yours, the necklace—a symbol of your past—now a token of someone else's affection. The weight of it all became too much to bear, and you decided to make a hasty exit. The image of them together twisted your heart in knots. As you strolled, you began to toy with your fur, trying to keep your mind  off things.
Tears started to form in your eyes as images of Yunho and Jessica kept flashing through your mind.  That heavy ache in your heart was tough to shake off. Sitting alone in the quiet park, you stared into the sky. The silence felt overwhelming as you couldn't help but linger on those feelings of loneliness.
You gently grasped the necklace that Yunho gifted you in your childhood, handling it with utmost care. Though it was merely a simple shell, it held immense sentimental value for you. Over time, it has faded and lost its once vibrant shine. As you gazed at it, memories of your childhood flood back, filling your heart with warmth, yet a twinge of discomfort lingers... You let out a sigh, sinking once more into a sea of contemplation.
"Oh~ Let me see who's there?" Suddenly, a voice snapped you out from the deep thought. You looked up to see a figure walking towards you, their features obscured by the shadows. But you knew who he was based on his scent and voice. You brushed away the tears that had fallen down your face, trying to pull yourself together.
"You again?" You rolled your eyes, letting out a heavy sigh and turning around to avoid San's gaze. 
"You cry?" He teased as he sat next to you.
"Why you care?"
"C'mon, you can talk to me if you'd like." 
"Tsk…don't act like a nice guy." 
"Don't pretend you're not secretly happy to see me~" He leaned closer, his strong musk scent filling your nostrils and making your heart race again. "So, what's got you all down in the dumps? Something is bothering you?" His voice was a bit softer, not matching his usual cocky demeanor. 
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as San got closer. "You don't get to ask me that," you protested, trying to keep up your aloof front. 
But he wasn't fooled, he saw through your tough act. He tilted his head slightly, studying your expression. "You sure about that? You look pretty upset, puppy." 
You felt your cheeks heat up a bit at his nickname. You hated how he always seemed to know just what buttons to push. 
"Don't call me that…" You huffed, trying to keep your cool demeanor. 
"Ah c'mon, I know you actually like it when I call you that." San chuckled, moving even closer to you. 
"Yeah right. Like you know me." You retorted, averting your gaze, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing how flustered you were. 
"You're acting like you hate it, but your face is already turning red~" He smirked, enjoying how much he was getting under your skin. 
"Shut up!" You muttered, still not daring to look at him directly. Damn it! How was he always aware of how his presence and words affected you?
"Oh, now you're just being rude." He teased, feigning hurt. "I was trying to make you feel better, and you go and act like a little brat." 
"I don't think so." You retorted. "You're just annoying me." 
"You're mad, huh? You're so cute when you're mad, puppy."
"I'm not cute! And I'm not mad." 
"Sure, you're not. You're just getting all flushed and stuttering for no reason." He moved his hand to poke your cheek, annoying you more. "You're such a bad liar, puppy." 
"I-I'm not lying and don't touch me. You're annoying. Why did I not kick your ass in the last match?" 
"Feisty one, aren't we?" He chuckled, rubbing your wolf ear slightly to make it twitch. "Let me guess…You are still thinking of that Yunho?" He said, his tone shifting to a more mocking tone. "It's kinda pathetic." 
Shut up. You know nothing about me." You snapped back, feeling hurt by his words. It was true that you still thought about Yunho a lot, but you didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all San. "I'm not pathetic." 
"Really? Then why are you so hung up on him? You keep thinking about him all the time, it's foolish." 
"I…I'm trying…" You mumbled, looking down at the ground. "It's just…hard." 
"You've been saying that for a year now," San rolled his eyes. "Just stop moping around and move on. There are better wolves out there, you know." 
"I know that…But Yunho…he's…he's different…"
"Oh, please. He's just another guy. There's nothing special about him, puppy." He crossed his arm, feeling annoyed. "You're just stuck in the past. You need to move on." 
"I know that…" you repeated, your voice shaky. "But…it's not that easy. I…I can't just forget about him." 
"Oh, how hard you're trying to defend him," he mocked. "You're just going to keep pining after some guy who doesn't want you." 
His words caused your breath to hitch. It hurt, but it was true. 
"You don't know…you don't understand…" You looked at San, clenching your jaw as you were struggling to keep the tears from falling. 
San's eyes widened slightly when he noticed your red nose and watery eyes, but then his attention shifted to the necklace in your hand. A smirk crept onto his face as a mischievous idea crossed his mind.
"Yah~I don't know anything~" He suddenly stood up, looming over you with his tall frame. "All I know is that you're still into him and clutching that little gift he gave you." Before you could respond, he snatched the necklace from your grasp and started inspecting it.
"Hey!Give me back!! What're you doing!!" you shouted, lunging to reclaim it, but his height made it impossible.
"Is it a gift he gave you? How cheap~" 
"Shut up and give me back!You fucking thief!" You leaped up, trying to snatch the necklace back, but he dodged effortlessly. "Don't make me bite you!" 
"Oh no!The puppy is threatening me!I'm shaking in my boots!" San laughed at your threat, not taking it seriously in the slightest. "Try to get me, huh?" He started to run away from you after jokingly shielding himself from your grab. 
"Stand here!!" 
"No~stay back you puppy!" He couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips as he dodged your attempts to catch him. 
"Come back here!!" 
"Not a chance!You're not taking it back today, no matter how pretty you are." He continued to back away, though he wasn't actually trying to escape.
"You die when I catch you!" 
"Try hard, puppy~" 
You darted around the park, mirroring the playful antics of two exuberant puppies. With every sprint, a wave of joy surged within you, washing away the irritation that once lingered in your heart. The echoes of frustration faded, replaced by the sweet melody of laughter. 
Each time your bodies brushed against one another, a thrilling spark ignited, sending a delightful jolt through your veins that left you craving more. 
Seeing you laugh so gleefully made San's heart swell with affection. He found your happiness contagious, his own smile widening. He didn't know why but he wanted to see your smile more. 
"Ha!Catcha!!" You suddenly launched forward, leaping onto his chest and sending both of you tumbling onto the soft grass. "I told you I could catch you!" you declared, pinning his wrists to the ground as you settled on top of him, securing your hold.
"Oh no no no!Please let me go~~" He mocked, acting like a prey dramatically. You couldn't help but laugh at his words, totally forgetting you were straddling him, and the necklace. 
"Happy now?" 
"Uh huh. Looking at you underneath me is a good view. You know?" 
"You're cruel, aren't you?" He rolled his eyes playfully. Seeing your smile, San couldn't help but soften, his 'pretend' annoyance fading away. He smiled back at you, appreciating the moment of lightheartedness between the two of you. 
He slowly tucked your hair behind your ear, tracing a path along your jawline with his fingertip. "You know, it's cute when you smile like that," He blurted out before he could stop himself. His words and move made you two suddenly frozen for a moment as you realized how close you were, an awkward silence falling between you. 
San's eyes widened at his own words, realizing what he had just blurted out. He quickly tried to cover it up with a joking tone. 
"Ahem, anyway," he coughed awkwardly. "You're, uh, very flexible. It's not every day you see someone who can jump so high."
He felt his heart skip a beat, his cheeks slightly flushed as he avoided eye contact with you, not wanting you to see how flustered he was. You were still straddling him, and the realization of your proximity made his stomach flip.
"Yah, uh, can you get off me now?" San stammered, trying to play it off as a joke, but there was a hint of red on his cheeks.
His heartbeat quickened as your body was still on top of him, heat pooling in his core. He desperately wanted to flip you around and pin you down on the ground, but he managed to resist the urge. He cleared his throat, trying to regain his bearings. "So, er, are you gonna get up or what?"
You looked at San, feeling his flustered state beneath you. It was rare to see him so off-guard, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. 
You smirked, enjoying the chance to tease him. "Hmm, what if I don't want to get up?" you said, deliberately keeping your weight on him, reveling in his increasingly flustered state.
San's face continued to burn red, his heart racing as you kept yourself pressed against him, a smirk on your lips. Damn, you were enjoying this little game, weren't you? 
He tried to regain his composure, but the feel of your body against his was driving him insane. "Y-You're insufferable," he muttered, his voice wavering.
"Aw, come on, puppy~ You know you love it," You chuckled, loved seeing him so off-guard and vulnerable, it was adorable. You leaned even closer, pressing your chest against his. San's eyes widened at the intimacy of your position, his breath hitching in his throat.
"If you don't get off, I can't promise what I will do."
"Huh? Mind telling me?"
San let out a surprised gasp as he managed to flip you over in one fluid motion, reversing your positions and effectively pinning you down on the ground. 
He hovered over you for a moment, his heartbeat racing as he looked down at your flushed face. The feeling of having you underneath him sent a jolt of heat through his body, making it hard for him to form a coherent thought. 
His gaze darkened as he realized he now had full control over the situation, and he was enjoying it quite a bit.
"What–what're you doing?!" You gasped, taken back by a sudden change in positions. 
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked, his voice low and dark. "I'm the one in charge now, puppy."
"You…you…don't you dare to do something…" 
"Something huh?"
You turned your head away, avoiding his hot gaze as he leaned down more. Both of you were so engrossed in your playful teasing, neither of you noticed the newcomers at first. But the sound of clearing the throats snatched your attention, making you pause mid-step.
San, still in a joking mode, spun around to see Yunho and Jessica standing there, watching the spectacle with raised eyebrows.
"Yu…yunho??" You stared at him, a mixture of embarrassment and surprises washing over you. You couldn't help but freeze for a moment. 
"Oh? Audience huh?" San mocked, soon calmed down from the surprise. "Try not to disturb us?"
Jessica's eyes flicked between San and you, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. But she didn't say anything, just observed the two of you with unabashed curiosity.
Meanwhile, Yunho's expression was unreadable. He seemed to be taking in the scene silently, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by a more thoughtful air.
The silence hung heavily in the air, the atmosphere slightly tense. San could feel the weight of their gazes,wondering what they were thinking. He subtly glanced at you, wondering if you were uncomfortable. 
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Yunho spoke up, breaking the silence. 
"Having fun, I see." His voice was nonchalant, betraying no particular emotion.
"Oh..yeah…um...just messing around, you know…" You said as you tried to get up, but San hold you firmly.
Jessica, however, was far less subtle, her smirk widening. "Yeah, definitely looked like more than messing around to me."
You tensed up at her comments, feeling your cheeks heat up further. San, different from you, shot her a glance, not appreciating the implications in her tone. 
"Are you jealous?" He mocked. "Jealous to the point of spying on us?"
"We were just taking a walk and stumbled upon you two lovebirds." She said, a hint of amusement in her voice. 
"Jessica," Yunho, who had been usually quiet, suddenly spoke up. "Could you give us a moment?" 
"Well, Jessica. I think you won't bother us, right?" San added. 
Jessica pouted a little bit at Yunho's stern look, but then her eyes flicked to San, a sly smile on her face.
"Of course, I'm a saint." She responded. "I'll just give you two lovelorn fools some…privacy…"
She gave you and San another smirk, making it clear she was poking fun at the situation. 
"Thanks for that." San rolled his eyes.
Yunho waited until Jessica was out of earshot before he turned to you two, his expression serious.
"I need to talk to you both about something…important…" he began, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by uncharacteristic seriousness.
"Okay, what's going on, Man?" San said, pulling away from you but still holding you firmly in his arms which made Yunho frown a bit. 
"It's…it's about what we just saw now…" Yunho said, his eyes flickering between you and San. "I couldn't help but notice…the way you two were interacting, it didn't seem…just friendly?"
"It's not like that…" you cleaned your throat. "We're just messing around."
"That didn't look like just messing around," Yunho raised an eyebrow, looking unconvinced by your attempt to downplay it. "You were being pretty…touchy-feely with each other."
"It's just like you and Jessica. What's the matter?" San snapped back, causing Yunho's eyes to widen. 
"That's…that's different…" Yunho was a little bit taken back. "She is my mate. And you, Choi San, is another wolf who doesn't belong to my clan. Now you are harassing my pack member."
"Ok wait wait wait- harassing?? Excuse me? Watch your mouth." San shot him a glance, pulling you even closer as his arm wrapped around your shoulder. 
"What are you doing?! You get off me." you whispered against San's ear quietly but San ignored your words and tightened his grip.
"Why do you care that much? Because she is your pack member? Pfff…shut it. She is my mate. That's not business to deal with what's mine."
"You…two are…?" Yunho's eyes widened further, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief. 
You, meanwhile, just stood there in shock as you hadn't expected him to claim that you were his mate, especially not in front of Yunho. 
"Yunho…we–" 
"Do I need your permission to touch my mate? What a nosy guy."
"Permission for what?" Jessica suddenly appeared again, sidling up to Yunho and looping her arm through his. She glanced at you two and let out a knowing chuckle.
"Nothing. Just your little boyfriend being nosy." San let out a scoff.
"Oh really? And why's that?" 
Yunho, still looking a bit startled, just stood there silently, letting Jessica speak. He didn't know why. Knowing you had a mate caused him feel uncomfortable. You should hate San so much. But why? Why were you so close to him? Why were you his mate? 
"It seems you are blind, huh?" A smirk played on San's lips as he mocked Jessica. "Can't believe you have a blind mate, Jeong Yunho."
"Hey!! I am not blind… I'm just observant, that's all." 
"Then don't ask a question that is obvious already." 
"How was I supposed to know you were…together? You didn't exactly announce it to the world. And you, Y/N, don't you hate him? But what now? You suddenly fall in love with him? Do you like seeking attention??"
"What—" Before you could snap back, San suddenly cut you off. "Mind your words, bitch. Y/N just mad at me because I had pissed her off. But now, she forgave me. Right? Y/n?"
You knew San was lying but you didn't stop him at all. On the other hand, you allowed him to fight for you. 
"And we are not like you, attention seekers. We don't like showing off."
"Yah!! How rude you are!!" Jessica gapsed, feigning offense at his description of her. "You're  just jealous! Can you blame me? I'm just…popular and beautiful." she said, leaning her head on Yunho's shoulder, a hint of cockiness in her tone. Yunho just sighed but not saying anything.
"We don't have time to talk to you dumbass. It's just wasting our energy. Let's go, love." San held your hand firmly, tugging you to leave.
Yunho was still processing everything that had just happened. He watched as San leaded you away, his expression a mixture of surprise and mild curiosity. 
You followed San silently, feeling San give you a squeeze on your hand. 
"Is it that Jessica always acts rude to you?" San suddenly said, pulling you back from the deep thought.
"Huh…hmm…" You nodded. 
"You didn't fight back at all?" 
"I…how…?"
"How?? Huh?? Seriously? You can kick my ass countless times in the match but can't do it towards her? What's wrong with you?"
"Hey! It's different! She…she is Yunho's mate.. our future luna. How can I fight back?"
"Pfff…I'm an alpha too and you still kick my ass." 
"You're from another gang, okay? That's different…" 
"Tch…bullshit. You just like bullying me."
"Yah! When did I bully you?! You're the one who keeps messing me up!"
"Don't say you aren't enjoying it~"
"I.." 
San suddenly spun around, causing you to collide with his chest. "ouch..! What's wrong…?"
"Hey, dumbass." 
"don't call me that–" He lifted up your chin, making you look at him. A blush creeped in your cheek, heat spreading through your body as he leaned closer. 
"Listen. You're my mate. Mine. That means no one else gets to hurt you. I am the only one who gets to hurt you. Get it?" 
"Who said I am yours? Don't be…" He placed a finger on your lips to stop your words.
"I asked, Get it? Yes or no. Don't you dare to say no."
"You…You're insufferable." You rolled your eyes. "Yes..yes…I understand it. Happy now?"
"Good." He gave a small grin and playfully tousled your hair. He really enjoyed teasing you, even if it meant making you cry. It was pretty amusing to see a tough little wolf, who had taken him down so many times, whimper like a puppy. 
But then he thought about it. He only wanted to see you cry for him, not anyone else. He loved making you laugh, too, but only if it was because of him. A wave of protectiveness surged in his chest. He promised himself you would be his, no matter what. He wouldn't let anyone else take you away.
"And~~" He took out a necklace that Yunho gave you from his pocket, swaying it side to side in front of you. "I'll keep this. You can't keep it."
"What?! Give me back! That's mine!" You attempted to grab it, but he dodged and held you firmly against his chest.
"No no no~ I helped you to fight back that bitch! I should have a reward."
"Yah! Why you have to choose this!?"
"I chose what I wanted. That's it." 
"It's unfair!"
"Nothing's unfair, puppy." 
"I helped you, remember?"
"Fine. But why you tell her I was your mate? She must announce it to the world!"
"What? That's the truth."
"But we haven't marked–"
"Oh? That's what you mind?"
"Huh? That's not the point! it's…" He unexpectedly leaned closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. You were taken aback, your eyes going wide at the surprise. Your heart raced, and you could feel your cheek warming up again. For a moment, you just stared at him, completely stunned and at a loss for words.
"Wh–what was that for??" 
"Finished marking~" He winked and joked. 
Your cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red at his teasing. You brushed your fingers over the spot where his lips had just been, still feeling that lingering warmth.
"Hey! Are you just claiming me as yours or what?" 
"Absolutely. You can't argue with that." 
"Ugh… You're insufferable," you scoffed, rubbing your cheek and pouting. "We have to act like a couple now… for everyone else's sake…"
"Is that a problem?" San tilted his head, a smirk on his face. "You should be thrilled to be my mate."
"Shut it, you jerk! It's so annoying!" Even though you were acting annoyed, deep down, you found it amusing to watch San stand up to Jessica.
"So you're not against it?"
"What else can I do? There's no other option…" you pouted and mumbled. "I guess we can fake it."
"Good! Trust me, being my mate is the best thing ever." 
"Enough already." You rolled your eyes. "I'm only going along with this because of Jessica."
"Huh? So she's your top priority? Not the whole 'lovey-dovey couple' act?"
"Who would want to pretend to be a cute couple with you?" 
"You do." 
"No, I don't!"
As you two bickered like kids, San realized it was time to head back to his clan. "Oh man, I've gotta go. Time really flies, huh?"
"Just go already."
"Don't you miss me?"
"Not at all."
"Ouch… that hurts."
"Just hurry up. The curfew is coming up."
"Okay, okay. Don't be so mean. See you tomorrow, my girlfriend."
"I really don't want to see you tomorrow." You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. But a small smile crept onto your face despite yourself. As he walked away, you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding in. "See you tomorrow…" 
—-----
Everyone in the clan was aware that you're San's mate. No matter where you are, you could feel the eyes on you, filled with doubt or even judgment. The Wonderland clan, which San was part of, had a long-standing rivalry with your Aurora clan. This all started centuries ago when there was a fight over territory, leading to a full-blown conflict. It's only been about fifty years since things started to cool down, and now the two clans face off in friendly competitions instead. 
Still, it seems like the tension between the two clans isn't going away anytime soon.
San never shies away from it. Ever since that day, he strides into your clan's training ground with a mischievous purpose. To him, you're merely a plaything; he delights in riling you up, only to lead you on a wild chase around the arena. Sometimes, he morphs into a wolf, snatching your weapon right from your grasp. The entire training ground has turned into his personal playground, much to the annoyance of your fellow members. 
With each of his antics, your reputation takes a hit. It's clear he's out to humiliate you! That guy holds a grudge because he lost the last match, and now he's determined to "ruin" you. Ah, you really hate him! But you couldn't deny it. Being his 'girlfriend' made you feel happier. 
You didn't know how to put this tangled feeling into words. Yes, you despised him, that was your firm belief this entire year. However, something was inexplicably different.
You would miss him, even feel a slight sense of disappointment when he didn't show up on time. As you reflected on this strange development, you couldn't understand how your feelings had so swiftly changed. You feel happy and relaxed when he's around, especially when he plays tricks on Jessica (such as burning her fur??). It's funny to watch how she freaks out and asks for help. 
Your emotions had become a convoluted, tangled mess. How could you harbor both hatred and longing for the same person? It was as if your heart had a mind of its own, and no matter how hard you tried, it couldn't help but yearn for his attention. You were baffled and angry at yourself for allowing these feelings to develop, especially when just a few months ago, you had loathed him.
On the one hand, your past distrust of him has made you suspicious of his behavior; but at the same time, a part of you has gradually become addicted to his company. It was irritating and confusing, so damn much.
Once again, the time for that "competition" is drawing near. As the most formidable fighter in your tribe, it's only natural that you'll be called upon to represent them in this event. However, your situation is quite awkward.
You now prepared your garment backstage and a knock echoed on the door.
"Come in." You said, finding Jessica entering the room.
"What you want?" You said, even didn't raise your head.
"Just come to see you~~" Jessica sneered, sauntering over as you organized your gear at the training grounds. "I never imagined you'd turn your back on our clan just to chase after a mate," She leaned against a wooden post, arms crossed, her tone dripping with mockery. "I'm not like you. I won't abandon my people. After all, I'm the future Luna."
You tossed the protective gear into your bag, cutting her off mid-sentence.
"Is that all you can say? Always going on about the future Luna?"
"Heh, that's way better than your situation, traitor. Plus, Yunho and I share a bond that you and San will never have. Honestly, I think San is just messing with your heart. You should really think about leaving him. Don't chase after anyone for attention."
"Don't pretend I'm you." You shot back. "Apart from being a future luna, you are nothing. Also, Yunho still didn't mark and knot you. You don't have any right to judge me."
Jessica glowered at you, her irrational growing. "I have every right to judge you! You're pretending to be San's girlfriend just to piss me off, but everyone can see right through the facade. You're cheap, attention-seeker, and pathetic!"
"You really just want the spotlight, don't you? You're upset because I'm getting attention. You don't want me to have anyone special in my life. It's like you're determined to keep me from getting anything good! You stepped closer, hands on your hips. "Honestly, you're just a jealous, attention-seeking brat."
"Well. Let me tell you something. You're not special, and this little act of yours won't last. San will realise that soon enough, and he'll drop you like the cheap bitch you are!!" Jessica huffed, but her mean words didn't hurt you at all.
"Then let me tell you something too. Yunho will see right through your act, and he won't even think about marking you, even if you're his mate. You keep messing up, and no one will ever really care about you. You think you're a big deal in the clan? They just see you as a joke." 
Jessica's face paled as your words sunk in. She tried to keep her cool, but it was clear that your words had hit her where it hurt. Her facade of confidence started to crumble, and a hint of vulnerability flashed across her face. 
"It's…it's not true! I'm the most popular and all the wolves like me!"
"Just keep doing your thing in your little bubble," you said, giving her a quick look as you moved in closer. "Soon enough, you'll see I was spot on." You nudged her shoulder as you strolled off, leaving her there, feeling a bit frantic.
But when you opened the door, you saw Yunho standing outside. He looked at you with a serious expression.
"Can we talk?" he said, his voice low and calm.
"Of course," you responded, gesturing for him to come in. "Take a seat."
Yunho followed you inside and took a seat opposite you. Jessica immediately ran to him, looping his arm as if she was almost crying. 
"Listen," he began, "about what happened with Jessica." You nodded, bracing yourself for whatever was coming your way.
"I wanted to talk about her. What you said to her... it was harsh."
"I know it was," you said, not meeting his gaze. "But I'm just defending myself."
"But you didn't have to be so aggressive about it," Yunho replied, his voice edged with a hint of impatience.
"Seriously? She can talk bad about me, but I can't? What's the logic?"
"It's not about logic…Y/N." Yunho rubbed his temple, sighing. "There's a difference between standing up for yourself and being cruel. You hurt her feelings badly."
"How weak is she then? Can't handle these words at all? Isn't she a future luna?" You were pissed off. You knew your words were too harsh for her, but what hurted you most was Yunho's reaction. 
Yunho shot you a disapproving look. "It's not about weakness. It's about respect and empathy. She has many flaws, but that doesn't make it okay to go after her like that."
"So what can I do, huh? Not defending myself?"
"You can stand up for yourself, but do it with respect. Treat other people like you want them to treat you. And don't let others get under your skin."
"Then tell your fucking mate first! Don't speak to me with respect when she never respects me at all. Such bullshit!"
Yunho's eyes widened at your words, clearly taken back. "When you become like this? Y/N…? You won't be that cruel…After you got close to San, you totally changed…"
"I wasn't changed. I'm just tired of being her punching bag. That's all." you shot back, your voice sharp. "She thinks she can do anything she wants and I'm fucking sick of it."
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
"Tell you? Did you ever listen?"
"Of course I will listen. I care about you."
"Don't make me laugh. You know how many times you ignore me when Jessica suddenly pops up from nowhere?"
"I…I didn't realise…"
"You didn't realise??" you repeated, unable to hide your disbelief. "Jessica literally says your name and you turn around to answer her like I'm invisible."
"See? I said you were jealous!" Jessica suddenly chimed in. "You just want my Yunho's attention. But he's my mate! How dare you bother us! I know you are such a bitch who wants to steal everything from me! So I fight back and you hurt me like this!"
"What the fuck?! You–"
"Enough!" he said firmly. "Both of you, stop. Fighting."
Jessica looked sheepish, clearly caught out in her outburst. You, on the other hand, were still fuming. But Yunho's stern voice made you fall silent.
Yunho took a deep breath before speaking again. "Jessica, you had no right to say that, especially not like that. And Y/N, you need to learn to control your temper…you were not like that before…San isn't a good guy, you shouldn't be close to him…he…"
"Cut it out!! Don't you dare to talk bad to him." You, on the other hand, were struggling to keep your emotions under control. It was clear you cared about San deeply, and hearing Yunho speak about him in that way hurt.
"Y/N…" Yunho saw the look on your face and quickly backtracked. "That's not what I meant..." he said, trying to clarify.
"Then what do you mean?" you snapped back, your voice still tight with emotion.
Yunho sighed, clearly at a loss for words. "I just mean that San is...he's not the person you think he is."
You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes. "Oh, and you know that better than me, right?"
"I just...I've seen what he's like. He's not good for you, Y/N."
"Shut up already. You know nothing about him. Yes, he is annoying as fuck, always acting like a child to tease me non stop. But he's the one who gives me happiness that you never give me. I don't need you to judge him" 
You cast a glance their way as you stepped out of the room. There was no use in saying anything further. You could tolerate their insults directed at you, but not those aimed at San. 
—--
The competition kicked off with a surge of excitement, as teams from various clans assembled on the battlefield, poised for action. The palpable tension between you, Yunho, and Jessica was unmistakable, drawing the attention of others, particularly San, who couldn't resist winking and teasing you with a mischievous grin. However, when he caught sight of your furious expression, he quickly realized something was amiss.
There was no time for him to inquire further. The bell rang, and chaos erupted as everyone scattered into the depths of the forest. The countdown concluded, marking the official start of the game. This was no ordinary contest; it was a high-stakes version of hide and seek. The team that was discovered would engage in a battle with their discoverer, with the victor earning one point, while the winning team would claim five points.
For the first several minutes, everything unfolded smoothly. But then, your team's fortunes took a sharp downturn, and many players began to fall. Your heart raced as you heard the grim updates about your teammates being eliminated through your headphones. You knew your team was stronger than this, so why did it feel like your position had been compromised?
Lost in thought, a familiar scent suddenly wafted beside you. Instinctively, you spun around and launched an attack. Yet, the figure before you effortlessly deflected your strike, a sarcastic smile playing on his lips.
"Hey, feisty as always, huh?Puppy." 
"Choi San!!I know it's you!"
"Hm~You know my scent well huh?" 
Without hesitation, you lunged at him again. He dodged with ease, seizing your wrists and pinning them against the tree trunk.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa~ What's got you all riled up~?" San teased, leaning in to catch a whiff of your scent. "Why the anger?"
The memory of your earlier confrontation with Jessica and Yunho flashed through your mind, igniting a fresh wave of fury.
"You're the one who knocked my teammate down, aren't you?" 
"You're the one who took down my teammate, right?"
"Oh, so clever~ puppy~" San grinned. "You wanna know how I track them?" You just stared at him, waiting for his response.
"Your scent, puppy~ Your teammates carry your scent, making it super easy for me to track them down~ We've been together for so long, after all~" 
"What?!You…?!You…So you get close to me to know and remember my scent…?" 
"Hm~ There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep my mate's scent fresh in my mind~" San nodded, raising his eyebrows as he confessed. "And honestly, I can't help but use this to my advantage~"
"You jerk!!" You tried to shove him away, but his grip was too strong, and a part of you secretly liked it. He knew that, so he wasn't about to let you go.
"Pup~ That's just being clever."
"That's sneaky!"
You both were completely unaware that Jessica had been eavesdropping on your conversation. She had been tailing you, biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to exact her revenge. It was only the unexpected arrival of San that held her back. Now, however, she had all the justification she needed to strike. You had betrayed the team, offering your scent to the enemy, and it was only right that you faced the consequences.
"You traitor!!" In the heat of your argument, Jessica lunged at you, transforming into her wolf form.
"What the—" Before you could even process what was happening, San swiftly enveloped you in a protective embrace, his hand cradling the back of your head as he shielded you from Jessica's fierce attack, turning his back to her.
Ouch! Her razor-sharp claws raked across San's back, sending a jolt of pain through him, even with the protective vest in place. He staggered forward, pressing his entire weight against you, wrapping you tightly in his embrace.
"San—!" Your eyes locked with his, the playful banter replaced by a deep well of worry and concern.
"Just hold on." He cupped your face, planting a quick kiss on your lips before turning to confront the frantic woman. She had expected her attack to land, but to her surprise, it had barely fazed him.
"You..." Jessica stumbled backward, her eyes wide with fear at San's fierce glare. Shouldn't you be helping your teammate?! Y/N!!" Her voice was laced with desperation, but her expression was menacing.
"Is she the one who got under your skin, love?" San teased, his voice dripping with possessiveness and protectiveness. "Let me handle this."
"How dare you…" Jessica gasped, taken aback. "Y/N!! Are you really just going to stand there while I'm in danger? You're supposed to be on my side! Think about what this looks like to the whole clan!"
You remained silent, your gaze drifting to San going behind you. Yes, he might have used your scent to outmaneuver your teammates, but he was also the one shielding you. On ordinary days, he was playful, calling you his little puppy and teasing you endlessly... but beneath that lightheartedness lay a genuine concern and affection that was unmistakable. At that moment, everything crystallized. You cherished how fiercely he defended you and the joy he brought into your life.
You were falling for him.
"I'm not on the team. I'm on San's side." You responded, your voice firm. "Whatever you like, I'm sick of you!!Don't you dare to order me!" 
"That's right." San affirmed, stepping even closer. "She's mine."
"You've lost it... You've gone mad…" Jessica couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had you really chosen him over her own team?
"Enough already! You propelled yourself forward, charging at her with determination. But just as before, Yunho intervened, stepping in to block your advance. San swiftly caught you, guiding you down to the ground with care.
"What's going on, Y/N…?" Yunho stared at you, astonished. "She's on your team!"
"She never saw me that way! She was the one who struck first. Don't talk to me like that, Yunho!"
"That's enough." San's voice was firm, his gaze fixated on Jessica. "You've done enough damage for one night."
Jessica tried to protest, but the weight of San's expression told her it was useless.
Meanwhile, San's words struck a chord in Yunho, and his eyes flicked down to you, his concern growing.
"Y/N..." Yunho spoke up, his voice filled with confusion and worry. "This isn't like you. What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing was ever like it should have been." San interjected, his voice laced with the weight of years of concealed emotions. 
Jessica's expression hardened at his words, clearly taken aback by his bluntness. "San..." She began, but he cut her off. 
"No more excuses, no more pretenses." San's words echoed with a determined resolve. "She's mine, whether you or our team realizes it." 
Jessica finally found her voice, her eyes flashing with fury. "You wouldn't dare…"
"Oh, I dare." San smirked, unyielding in his stance. "And I won't let go. She's mine, and I'll make sure she knows it." 
Jessica's expression darkened at his words, her jaw clenching. "You're a fool, San. You know nothing." 
"Perhaps I do." He shot back, a hint of a playful smile on his lips. "I know her better than anyone, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her by my side."
"As if you've ever tried." Jessica gritted her teeth, her anger flaring. "You've always treated her like one of your conquests, your little plaything to toss aside when you got bored." 
San's expression darkened, his grip on you tightening protectively. 
"You have no idea what you're talking about." He shot back, his voice edged with a coldness that belied his growing irritation.
You swiftly broke free from San's hold and advanced, delivering a sharp slap to Jessica's repugnant face. The forest fell silent, everyone taken aback, until San let out a low chuckle.
"That's what you get. I'm done with you…" Your eyes locked onto Jessica, who was shielding her flushed face in disbelief, before shifting your focus to Yunho. "Two."
"Y/N…" Yunho stuttered, caught off guard. You removed the group badge from your arm, holding it up for him to see.
"You never stood up for me, did you?" You arched an eyebrow, scrutinizing him. "Every time you pointed fingers at me, claiming I should respect others, or accusing me of changing?! Haven't you changed? Do you even care about me? You don't! You weren't like this before! Ever since she came into the picture, you've changed completely!!"
"I..." He was at a loss for words, fully aware that you were right. It was he who had changed, not you. He had turned his back on you, he had stopped caring, he had driven you to this breaking point.
"I've had enough. I don't want to endure it anymore!" You hurled the group badge to the ground, signaling your departure from them. Your actions would be broadcasted to the entire clan through the conference's live feed, marking your exit not just from the team, but from the entire clan. Yet, you felt no remorse; your only concern was for San.
"Let's go." You grasped San's hand and led him away, leaving the other two in your wake.
You only paused once you had pulled him into a cabin, a place where the broadcaster couldn't intrude. You shut the door and immediately checked San's back, anxiety flooding you. Jessica's earlier attack had rattled you. If she had harmed San, you would never forgive her.
"Show me your back, okay? Does it hurt? Did she hurt you??" You said, unbuttoning his shirt with urgency. But San merely gazed at you with affection, relishing your worry for him.
"Hey, say something—"
He abruptly cradled your face in his hands, prompting you to gaze up at him. "Aw~ it warms my heart to see how much you care about me~ you know~"
You let out a frustrated sigh, your eyes rolling. "Can you just be serious for a moment? What if you end up getting hurt? You—"
Suddenly, he leaned down to press his lips against yours. San's kiss took you by surprise at first, but before you knew it, you were melting into the sensation. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you could feel the heat spreading through your body. He cupped your face, pulling you even closer, and deepened the kiss, causing the heat to intensify even more. 
He kissed you passionately, his tongue exploring your lips and searching for yours. You could hear him gasp against your lips, the sound growing louder and more desperate as he pressed you closer to him. His fingers gripped your hips tightly, as if he was fighting against the urge to take things even further. 
San broke the kiss, panting as he looked at you. "Goodness…" He mumbled, his breath shaky and uneven. "You drive me goddamn insane, you know that?" 
Before you could respond to his words, his lips found their way to your neck, nipping and sucking your skin to mark you as his own. "Mmmm…you taste so good, babe. I can't get enough of you." He ran his tongue over your lips again before slipping it into your mouth, dominating the kiss as he explored it. 
His hands wandered over you, his touch gentle but tinged with a hint of possessiveness. His fingers slid under your shirt, giving you goosebumps as he traced the curves of your bare skin. "God…you feel so good…I could touch you like this all day long and never get tired of it." 
He suddenly yanked at your shirt, making you gasp a bit. "I need this off, now." "San…" Your soft moan drove him wild. He couldn't hold back, quickly unbuttoning your shirt with a sense of urgency, some buttons popping off as he pulled at it roughly. Once the last button was free, he shoved the fabric off your shoulders and tossed it away.
"Much better." 
His lips found your shoulder, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and onto your chest. San lowered himself to his knees in front of you, his eyes still burning with lust as he looked up at you. He wrapped his arms around your hips, dropping a peck on your stomach. 
"Babe…I want to make you feel good…would you let me?" His hand reached the waistband of your pants as if asking for permission to pull them off. You could do nothing but nod, unable to find your voice as you were overwhelmed by the pleasure he gave you. San grinned, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you. 
"Good, dear. I promise you will never regret it." San positioned himself even lower, his lips inches away from where you want him most. Your pants dropped on the floor as he pulled them down, leaving you totally exposed to him. Without a warning, his face divided into your thighs, moving his lips all over your sensitive skin. 
The room was quiet, the only sound was your heavy panting and his lips gently grazing against your clit. His tongue flicked out to taste you, licking away the juices flowing out from the core. A soft moan and whimper let out from San's lips as he loved how sweet you taste, how your body squirmed under his touch. 
You couldn't help but arch your back, your fingers digging into the mattress as you tried to hold yourself together. "Please…there…more…" 
"More hm?" He grinned, kissing and biting a bit on your sensitive spot. 
"Fuck…" 
"Here?" He repeated, darting out his tongue to lick over where you needed him the most. No words came out from your mouth but only heavy breathing, he knew that's a point to bring you to the edge and he won't have mercy on it. He kept repeating the same move, but with a little more pressure than the previous one, enjoying how your moan became louder and louder. 
You couldn't help but roll your hips, pushing yourself closer to his lips as if your body was practically screaming for release. Just a little bit more, just more. He got the signals but he wasn't done with you yet. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible, to make you ache and squirm with need. San held back, teasing you with just enough touch to keep the fire burning, but not enough to push you over the edge. 
"San…please…let me come…" You needed him, a gasp escaping your lips to plead for him to give you the release you so desperately need, but he just smiled and continued on. 
"Patient, babe. Just a little longer…" He murmured against your skin. His lips danced over your flesh, never quite touching where you wanted them most. 
You tried to be patient but it was so hard when every bit of you was on fire. Your body was wound so tight, the tension building until you didn't think you could take much more. His tongue traced a path over you, slowly, so slowly, but it was enough to make you arch your back and gasp, your fingers clutching at his hair, tugging little. He started by taking his tongue to taste you, but then he began to move, the wet muscle working slowly, gently. 
"San…hmm…" Just when you thought it was too much, he pulled away, leaving you breathless and wanting for more. He just stood in front of you, a grin tugging on his lips. 
"Beg for it, babe. Tell me how bad you want me." 
"Hm…please…fill me…I need you…"
"Fill you huh?What do you want me to use to fill you up? My tongue? My cock? Or My cum?" 
"Everything…please…don't stop…"
"Everything?You can't be that selfish…dear…You can only choose one…"
"Please…your cum…I need it…just make me feel good…" 
"You ask for it." 
He suddenly pushed you down, positioning himself between your thighs. You could feel his hardened length brushed against your swollen and blushed clit, the wetness from the pre-cum on the tip causing you to squirm a bit. 
"I'll be gentle…at first…" He looked down at you, his eyes were dark and filled with a possessive desire. "But I can't promise what will happen later."
He inhaled sharply, the warmth radiating from you igniting a fire within him that he could no longer resist. With a decisive thrust, he entered you in one seamless motion. A gasp escaped both your lips, the sensation overwhelming as your body instinctively tightened around him, enveloping him completely.
You arched your back, eager to connect with him, your arms encircling his shoulders, drawing him closer. Each movement of his inside you felt like a claim, a possession that left you craving more. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the pleasure he was bringing to you.
San couldn't tell where he ended and you began, so lost was he in the pleasure of being joined with you. The way your body responded to his, the moan and gasp leaving from your lips drove him insane. His body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending alive with sensation. 
"You're mine." San growled, his words almost unrecognizable through the haze of desire. "Mine to claim, mine to mark, mine to mate…" 
"Yes," You gasped, your voice little more than a whisper. "Yours, I'm yours." You wrapped your legs tighter around his hips, pulling him even deeper inside you, and you could feel the pleasure building inside you like a coiled spring ready to snap. You wanted to give yourself to him completely, to let him possess you in every way. 
"Take me" you pleaded, your nails digging into his skin. "Take me entirely." 
Your words like a trigger to him, your touches driving him closer to the edge, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. He moved even faster, deeper, driven by a primal need to claim you as his own. 
"Yes, honey. You're totally mine. He repeated, his voice ragged. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget it." San lifted your leg over his shoulder, changing the angle of his thrusts. His hard tip directly met the sensitive spot, causing your whole body to tense up. 
"Oh god…don't stop…" The numbness and the excitement mixed together, driving you wild. You gasped and moaned his name over and over again as if it was the only word in your mind. Your hands were everywhere on his body, running over his chest and arms, nails digging into his skin. 
The tension within your body sent a signal to him, your soaked wall tightening around his fat cock each time he shoved to the depth. He knew that you just needed a little more, and he was determined to give it to you in order to push his big knot inside you. 
San leaned down, his mouth finding yours in a fierce, passionate kiss. You kissed him back without care, arching up your torso as you gave him over completely. You were lost in euphoria, lost in the feel of him inside you. Everything was just overwhelming but perfectly balanced. 
A little growl let out from his tongue as he suddenly pulled himself almost all the way out of you, then surged himself back in. "San!!Fuck!!" "You…really…like it..don't you?" You both gave growls which were mixed with moans, and his grip on your hips got tighter. He began to move with more force, letting his instincts completely take over and he was no longer in control of his desire. He wasn't going to stop, not until he had taken you over the edge and pushed his knot inside. 
His eyes roamed on your bare body, enjoying the sight of your chest bouncing up and down from his thrusting. "Look how beautiful you are…only me can pin you like this…Am I right, Y/N?" He suddenly stressed his last words, like he was using all his strength in his lower body to push against your tight walls.  "Answer me." "Ye…yes…Only you…" You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing every breath from your throat. He penetrated so deeply that your entire body began to quiver, caught in the battle to maintain a steady breath.
"Come on. Louder, Y/N. I know how loud you can be." San grinned, slapping his hips right straight to the point you scream out his name loud. He tugged your wrists harshly, making your whole body left in the air. What you could do was wrap your legs around his waist, trying your best to steady yourself while he kept thrusting, thrusting and thrusting. 
The skin slapping sound mixed your high-pitch moan and his heavy panting, making other noises fade away. Your back met the messy mattress once again as he pushed you down and folded you in a mating press. There was no mercy left but only raw emotion. His tip collided with the entrance of your cavity as if asking permission to enter inside. 
"Hm…San…" "Let go," he whispered, his voice rough and gravelly. "Let go, and give in to me." "San…San…" "Come for me," He commanded one more time. "Now."
It was like a bolt of lightning, striking through your body and igniting your euphonia even further. You arched up towards him, your lips meeting his in a breathless kiss. Your body was shaking with the force of the release, juices flowing out like a spring and your wall stretched to allow San to push his knot inside in one go. 
"FUCK!!!" "Hold on, honey…" A cry escaped from your lips as he shoved in without mercy. Excitement and pain blended together and heightened everything between you two. He pulled you up, positioning you to straddle on him. The knot went deeper as the tip entered your deepest, a hot wave running through all over your limbs as his white hot seed filled the cavity. 
You wrapped around his shoulder with your arms, your eyes shutting tightly as he sunk his fangs inside your nape, releasing his pheromones. The primal drive to claim and possess you overwhelming his mind and body. He growled deep in his throat, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he pushed forward, ensuring his seed creamed all your cavity. "God…it feels good…" He let out a low murmur against your neck, the heat spreading through his body as his sperm kept splitting out non stop, filling your cavity literally full. 
"San…it's…too much…" You breathed, still trying to catch your breath after the high. "I…I can't…" "Behave." He gave your hips a smack to silence you, his grip tight on your backside to keep you in place. The way your walls clenched around him, pulling him in deeper and sucked the sperm in drove him wild. He was obsessed with this feeling, the thought that you were entirely his, and he would make sure you must his, completely and utterly. 
"Fuck…babe…" He let out a long throaty moan before capturing your lips in a fervent, possessive kiss, his body pressing against yours in a relentless, commanding rhythm. "You belong to me now… eternally mine…" he breathed against your mouth, his voice a low, urgent whisper. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, his lips crashed against yours once more, his tongue delving into your mouth with a wild, primal fervor. 
As the pleasure subsided, the kisses became less passionate but instead tender and soft. He held you in his arms, slowly parting from your lips and pressing several soft kisses all over your face and neck. His touch was gentle and loving, different from his rough self. "You're beautiful…Everything about you is just perfect…" 
You smiled weakly, your body still trembling with aftershocks. "You're not so bad yourself," you managed to say, your voice a little hoarse. 
"Not so bad?" San asked, feigning offense. "Is that all you have to say to me after I just rocked your world?" A cheeky grin spread across his face. "I'm hurt, sweetheart. Hurt."
"You're not really hurt," you said, rolling your eyes at his playful pout. "You just like making a big deal out of yourself." 
San pretended to ponder this for a moment before speaking. "You might be right," he finally admitted. "But can you really blame me? I am pretty amazing." He gave you another cheeky grin.
You rested your head on his shoulder, smiling a bit. "I have nowhere to go now… but you knitted me…that means I'll follow you everywhere."
"That's my pleasure." San responds to you with a loving smile, giving you another deep kiss. "I'll never let you go from me."
"Is that a promise?" 
"That's a swear." He pushed you down on the bed again before drawing you into a passionate kiss. 
At this point, everything else fades into insignificance. Yunho and Jessica who once occupied your thoughts are now mere shadows; your heart is set on being with San, and nothing else holds any weight…
Oh... it seems the game has slipped your minds entirely as well.
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tag list: @angelsaway, @yeosangcutie0615, @monsta-x-jagi
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leighsartworks216 · 22 hours ago
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You're Not A Burden
Zayne x gn!therapist friend!Reader
Based on my own experience as the therapist friend and my struggles with being genuine about my emotions with people close to me ✌️
Warnings: hurt/comfort, established relationship, childhood friends, crying, nightmares
Word Count: 1,517
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Zayne has seen this same pattern ever since you were little; the weight of being the person everyone dumps their problems onto, rants to, leans on no matter how small you may be. It's happened for so long now, he can't remember a time you weren't the one stepping up to bear the brunt of someone else's troubles.
He remembers so vividly one day during recess. Your friend was crying because one of the teachers was being mean and unfair. You held them close, let them cry into your shoulder and blubber about their troubles. And then you went into class with that same teacher, experienced that same cruelty, and held your tongue. It was never about being stronger than anyone else, or that admitting anything was wrong was a weakness; only that admitting anything was wrong would place your troubles onto somebody else.
One time, when his parents were away, he slept over at your house in a pillow fort in the living room. He woke up before you, and you had dry tears on your cheeks.
You take the burdens as easy as you take in a breath of air. Even now, in the middle of your quiet night in, your friend called to rant about their job, their relationships - anything they needed to get off their shoulders. You smiled apologetically at Zayne, kissed his cheek, and disappeared into the bedroom to finish the call without disturbing him further.
He understands, better than most, how difficult it is to watch someone suffer, physically or emotionally. How many times had he gone out of his way to ease the burden of his patients outside of medical care? Trying to get a plushie from the arcade for a girl who was too sick to get it herself. Playing chess with a lonely old man, even when it cut into his lunch breaks. But even he has limits to the burdens he carries.
He listens attentively for your voice through the closed door from his seat on the couch. Quiet hums to show you're listening. Muffled words of advice and support. The call goes on for some time, an hour or more, but not once does he hear you talk about your own struggles. Yet, he knows work has been more demanding lately, you haven't been sleeping or eating well, and you were really looking forward to an uninterrupted night in with him - information gathered through observation, more than not.
Not a single word of complaint.
He can't focus on his book, so he sets it aside in exchange for his laptop. The soft clack of keys fills the silence. It nearly drowns out your voice entirely; the typing pauses every now and then to listen when you speak. His work isn't as efficient, so focused on listening for you, but he manages to get through a few emails and a report or two.
When the door opens, he perks up like a dog whose owner just came home. His fingers are still on the keyboard as he watches you come out from the hallway, smiling apologetically once more as you tuck your phone away with a final glance.
"Sorry about that," you murmur as you sit back in your spot on the couch. He closes his laptop and sets it aside. "Lisa's been having a lot of guy troubles lately and just got back from a bad date."
He hums his acknowledgement and turns his body to face you. Cool hands grab yours, holding them in his lap as his thumbs massage into your palms and work out the tension in your fingers. "You didn't say much."
You laugh lightly, as though it's completely normal. As though it should be completely normal. "I didn't want to bother her with my own problems - she has enough of her own to deal with."
"What problems would those be?" he questions. You tense up, like you want to pull away. You don't, but you stare at the ministrations of his hands with a shake of your head.
"It's nothing."
"But if they're problems," he tilts his head, trying to catch your gaze, "shouldn't I know about them?"
You glance at him with a grin that doesn't quite meet your eyes, and a slight downturn in your brow. "You're not on duty right now, Dr. Zayne."
He lifts one of your hands to kiss your palm. Your fingers brush his cheek. He leans into them without thought. "I didn't think I had to be to listen to my partner's issues," he shoots back, shooting down your deflection. His voice grows softer. "It's unhealthy to keep negative emotions bottled up. I am always here to listen should you need to let them out."
Something stirs in your eyes. Discomfort, at being called out and exposed. Worry, and fear. You look away again. "I don't want to bother you with that stuff."
"Who said you would be bothering me? I want to hear about the issues you have, however minor they may be." He releases one of your hands to cup your cheek. He directs your face back to him, leans forward to rest his forehead against yours, stealing your ability to look away. Your eyes remain lowered, staring at his nose. "You always carry the burdens of others. Allow me to carry your burdens, before you collapse under the weight."
You're silent. He shifts his fingers slightly, resting his middle and ring finger over your pulse point just under your jaw. Your heart is beating wildly. It stutters, jumps, skips. You inhale softly.
"You..." You shake your head slightly, nose brushing his. Your free hand fiddles with your pant leg. "You don't tell me about the issues you have, either."
He smiles slightly, wryly, as though you've just started trying to deal with a shrewd businessman who can't resist haggling.
"I had a nightmare last night," he admits softly. That draws your eyes up to his, finally. "When I woke up, it felt like I was still in the dream."
"What was it about?"
He gives you a pointed look. You frown. Your hand clenches around your pant leg, like admitting anything about yourself is agonizingly painful.
"I... I haven't been eating lunch during my breaks."
It's barely admitting anything, but he hums his approval nonetheless. "I was in the hospital, but the corridors were dark. I heard your voice echoing down the halls..." Your heart skips a beat in time with your concerned look. "Why aren't you eating lunch?"
You squeeze your eyes shut, hiding from the inevitable disapproval on his face. "I haven't been sleeping well, so I've been sleeping in my car during my breaks... I... passed out once, at my desk, because I was so tired... I don't want to concern my coworkers like that again." You wait a few seconds before cracking your eyes open. Sure enough, it's his turn to frown with worry. He knew you were tired lately, but he hadn't heard anything about you passing out at work. He can only be grateful you weren't out on the field at that time. "What happens next?"
"... I can't find you." His frown deepens, eyes flickering down your face, taking you in. "No matter where I look, you're not there. And when I wake up, it takes a moment for my mind to catch up and realize you're right there beside me."
Neither of you speak. Your pulse is calm now. The dark bags under your eyes concerns him more than ever now. The daze in his eyes when you woke up this morning to find him looking over your face flickers back into memory.
Eventually, he breaks the silence. "We'll take our lunch breaks together," he tells you, leaving no room for argument. "The next time you feel faint at work, or too tired to keep going, please tell me."
You nod slowly, silently sealing a promise with him. "The next time you have a nightmare like that, you have to tell me, too."
He nods in return. "I will."
You blink, pausing, waiting for something that doesn't ever come. Waiting for him to decide your burdens are too heavy to bear, or become disillusioned with you now that you're no longer this infallible beacon of strength and dependency. But it never comes. Instead, Zayne strokes your cheek with all the tender patience in the world, rubs his nose purposefully against yours in semblance of a kiss, sits quietly with you with no expectations.
Large drops of water begin to form in your waterline. You swallow, fighting the starting tremors in your lungs. He wastes no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him, helping you sit in his lap where you hug him around his neck and hide your face in his shoulder.
He kisses the side of your head as your body cries with a practiced silence, rubbing his hand in soothing motions against your back. "You're not a burden for having problems, or for sharing them with others," he whispers. "You don't have to carry everything alone anymore."
---
Tag List:
@the-golden-jhope @deepzombieyouth @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter @thelittlebutton @pikachuzhc @pomegranatepip @cordidy @an-ever-angry-bi @thejysemongko @deusfoundry @hawtlineblingz @that-lost-one
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fortemelody · 1 day ago
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okay so like… imma say something maybe perhaps perchance controversial and hot-takey relating to sonic. and i’ve wanted to say this for awhile but didnt wanna get canceled becus it’s something that’s sorta difficult to convey through text…
i remember seeing a year or two ago that quite a few people thought shadamy was wrong simply becus amy reminded shadow of maria in SA2. so basically implying that like if amy is reminiscent of maria, this “inherently” means that shadow thinks of her also as his sibling of sorts.
but i honestly think this way of thinking isn’t correct. if you think about this in any context rather than this fandom then my point will be simpler to understand. for example, you can think to yourself “wow my partner has similar traits to {insert person here} in my family” WITHOUT thinking of them as the same person. acknowledging a parallel in personality should not be off limits when comparing someone you share romantic love with and someone you share platonic love with in my opinion, unless you’re the one constantly choosing to say/act upon that fact in an intentionally weird way.
we also don’t really know *exactly* what shadow was thinking in this exact moment, other than the fact that amy’s kind words changed his perspective and motives, which was the main point of that cutscene overall. it could very well be possible that shadow is experiencing some form of underdeveloped love for amy in that moment, but even he doesn’t know what kinda of love that may be becus he’s spent his whole life just traumatized and not exposed to relationship and friendship status quo of the outside world.
and may i remind you that shadamy is not the only ship to do this… so that argument really doesn’t even work?!? sonadow, probably the most popular ship ever in sonic, does this too. that official japanese art/story with shadow looking at the blue shoes references the parallels between sonic and maria i believe, along with MANY fan works i see regularly.
i’m glad the shift in shadamy has become apparent after TMOSTH and the twitter takeovers. i honestly change my opinion quite frequently between seeing this ship as more platonic or more romantic, but i wanted to still defend it nonetheless becus i find it quite ridiculous how much backlash it got for the stupidest things.
and in case this wasn’t clear- I DONT SUPPORT INCEST AND THIS POST IS NOT TRYING TO EXCUSE INCEST IN ANY WAY. i really just think that characters can be more complex than some people initially interpret them and so to quickly shame others based on these conclusions feels very odd to me.
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lorynna · 2 days ago
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The thing that bothers me about the radical feminist community on Tumblr is how unforgiving and harsh some radfems are, when they disagree with your views. I've seen it a couple of times now. We will talk about sisterhood, supporting each other and the love we share for other women but sometimes we cannot criticize each other respectfully.
Especially for the women only slowly getting into radical feminism, because it is new to them, they can be quick to get sassy reblogs due to posting their yet unripe thought processes or making mistakes and that's genuinly sad to see.
On the other hand when it comes to other disagreements: I understand your frustrations and I understand that we won't always agree with each other on everything but that doesn't mean that we have to be unkind to each other.
Sadly, I often feel like me saying things like "I don't think that men are inherently evil", "men have the potential to improve" or "i had a great father figure in my life and I am happy in my current het partnership" puts a great target on my back and I've had many harassive anons sent to me by other supposed radfems.
In all honesty I don't feel free to sometimes say what I think because I just have the feeling that there will be harsh backlash for stating things like the sentences put in quotation above - even when I never challenged radfems that think differently or have had a different life experience compared to mine. Even when all I do is state my own life's reality detached from everything else.
And by sharing mine - I never mean to undermine or disregard the experiences of other women. I respect you. I see you. I see why you hate men and I would never argue with you about why you shouldn't. Again, I empathize with you and I acknowledge that we have different lived realities.
I don't think I have to defend myself regarding this stance but without going into too much detail I was really lucky to have a really amazing father growing up. Generally, I have had great male role models in my life and I love them very much. Just as much as I love my boyfriend who treats me very well. I have seen two sides of the same coin. And if me therefore saying that I don't think that "all men are inherently evil" makes you want to refute my experience angrily - that's your choice.
I am in my early 20s, I have not been part of radical feminist for very long and I am not as smart or as eloquent as many other radfems on this platform - without question. I am here for the discourse, for learning from others and to listen to their experiences. I hope to make Tumblr a little bit of a better place.
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s4svnn · 3 days ago
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Out of bounds . JJK
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; his love subjected you to the true extent of deception, a merciless lie wrapped in the illusion of paradise, until the truth tore it apart - he was always out of bounds.
↳ Jungkook x reader
↳ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: ongoing
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Chapter Thirty
The café was a whirlwind of movement, noise, and the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee. The morning rush had hit full force, and the line of customers stretched nearly to the door. The hum of conversation mixed with the steady whir of the espresso machine, the sharp clatter of cups against saucers, and the occasional hiss of steamed milk. It was the kind of organized chaos that made my stomach twist with nerves.
I stood behind the till, my fingers hovering just above the touchscreen as I mentally prepared myself. Despite working here for a few weeks now, the pressure of handling orders quickly—and correctly—still made my pulse race. The fear of making a mistake in front of a growing line of impatient customers was real, and as more people poured in, that familiar sense of dread curled in my stomach.
Before I could let it get to me, a pair of warm hands landed on my shoulders, kneading them gently.
"Come on, you got this, girl," Serena's voice came from behind me, light and teasing but undeniably supportive.
I let out a breath, rolling my shoulders as she gave them one last squeeze. "I really hope so. Otherwise, I might just throw this register at someone."
Leah, who was stocking pastries nearby, snorted. "Please do. If someone complains about the oat milk one more time, I’ll pay you to do it."
Cyrus grinned, adjusting his apron as he leaned against the counter. "I'll film it. We’ll go viral. ‘New café employee snaps—customers beware!’”
I chuckled, shaking my head. These three had been my saving grace since I started working here. What had started as awkward introductions and polite small talk had quickly turned into inside jokes, shared complaints about customers, and lunch breaks that felt more like therapy sessions. I was lucky to have them.
But right now, I had a job to do.
Taking a deep breath, I turned my attention to the first customer in line—a middle-aged man in a sharp navy suit, glancing impatiently at his watch.
"One flat white, extra shot, and a chocolate croissant to go," he said briskly, not even looking up from his phone.
I quickly tapped the order into the till. "That’ll be £5, please."
He barely acknowledged me as he tapped his card against the machine, the beep signaling a successful payment.
"Thank you! Your order will be ready shortly," I said with my best customer-service smile, though I doubted he even heard me.
The next customer—a woman in a bright yellow sundress—offered a much friendlier smile. "Hi! Can I get an iced caramel latte with oat milk and a blueberry muffin?"
I nodded, my fingers moving across the screen. "That’ll be £4.80."
She dug into her purse and pulled out a five-pound note, sliding it across the counter. "Keep the change!"
I smiled, grateful for her kindness. "Thanks! Your order will be ready in a few minutes."
As the line moved, my nerves gradually settled, and I found myself slipping into a rhythm. Order, payment, smile, repeat. By the time I glanced up at the clock, it was almost noon—finally time for our break.
Leah clapped her hands together. "Alright, team! One-hour break before we lose our sanity."
Cyrus groaned dramatically, tossing his apron onto the counter. "Too late. I lost mine halfway through that guy who ordered seven modifications to his drink."
Serena laughed, pulling her curls into a high ponytail. "You mean the one who wanted ‘just a hint of vanilla but not too much’? Yeah, he nearly broke me."
We flipped the "Closed for Lunch" sign, quickly shutting everything down before collapsing into our usual booth near the back of the café. I sighed, letting my body sink into the seat, savoring the rare quiet.
Leah stretched her arms over her head. "Alright, since we actually have time to talk like normal human beings—remind me what you guys are studying again?"
Cyrus leaned back in his chair. "Computer science, unfortunately. I swear, my brain is just numbers and error messages at this point."
Leah smirked. "Yeah, yeah. You say that now, but wait until you're making six figures and too busy coding in your fancy office to even remember us."
Cyrus placed a hand over his heart, mock-offended. "Excuse me. I would never forget you guys—especially if you all bring me free coffee in my fancy office."
Serena rolled her eyes. "Typical." She turned to me, resting her chin on her hand. "What about you, AJ? You never told us what you studied."
I hesitated for a moment before taking a sip of water. "Car design."
Cyrus nearly choked. "Damn, girl! So whatchu doin’ in a place like this?"
Leah immediately smacked his arm. "Cyrus! You cannot just say that."
I let out a small laugh, though my fingers absentmindedly traced the rim of my glass. "No, it's okay. It didn’t work out, so... here I am. Trying to take another shot at life, I guess."
Serena reached across the table, giving my hand a squeeze. "Good on you, girl. As you should."
Leah and Cyrus nodded in agreement before, in perfect unison, all three of them threw their hands in the air and shouted, "Period!"
I burst into laughter, shaking my head. "You guys are the absolute worst."
Cyrus grinned. "But you love us."
Before I could respond, the café door swung open with a soft chime, but it may as well have been a thunderclap with how suddenly the energy at the table shifted.
The air seemed to thicken as Adam stepped inside, his presence somehow eclipsing everything else. His dark eyes flickered toward me just for a second, barely even a glance—but it was enough to make my breath hitch. There was something about the way he looked at me, sharp and assessing, as if he was searching for something yet unwilling to let me find anything in return. It wasn’t just indifference it was deliberate, like he was making a point to keep his distance.
And then, just as quickly as his gaze had landed on me, it was gone. He strode past our table, heading toward the back with effortless confidence, his movements controlled, precise. Today, he was dressed in a fitted black t-shirt that clung to the sharp lines of his frame, the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal the tattoos running along his forearm. Dark jeans, slightly worn at the knees, completed the look, along with a silver ring on his middle finger that caught the light as he ran a hand through his tousled dark hair.
I didn’t realize I was still staring until Serena nudged me with her elbow, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips.
"You sure he doesn’t like you?" she teased, eyebrows waggling.
I scoffed, finally tearing my gaze away from the door Adam had disappeared through. "Trust me. I don’t think dislike even covers it."
Cyrus waved a dismissive hand. "Nah, don’t take it personally. Adam’s just weird like that. He barely talks to anyone unless he has to."
Leah leaned in conspiratorially, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Yeah, it’s part of his whole bad-boy persona. Gotta keep up the mystery, you know?"
Serena nodded, grinning. "Right? The whole I’m too cool to care act. Classic."
I exhaled, shaking my head. "Well, if it’s an act, he’s seriously committed to it."
Leah rolled her eyes. "Trust me, he’s like that with everyone. You’re not special."
I forced a small laugh, trying to play it off, but something about that didn’t sit right with me. The way he looked at me—it wasn’t just indifference. It wasn’t casual, either. It was something. And maybe it was just my overactive mind reading into things, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that his coldness toward me wasn’t the same as it was with everyone else.
I forced myself to shake off the lingering thoughts of Adam and turned my attention back to my friends. Serena was still smirking at me like she knew something I didn’t, and Cyrus was watching me with a raised brow, like he was waiting for me to admit something.
"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.
Cyrus leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Nothing, nothing. Just wondering how long it’s gonna take before you admit you’re at least a little curious about him."
I let out a dry laugh, picking at the edge of my napkin. "I’m not curious. I just—" I hesitated, trying to find the right words. "Notice things."
Leah scoffed. "Oh, you notice things? Sounds a lot like curiosity to me."
Serena grinned, resting her chin in her hand. "Mmmhmm. And what exactly have you noticed, AJ?"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that he stares at me like I personally offended him in another life? Or that he won’t even acknowledge me unless he absolutely has to?"
Cyrus let out a low whistle. "Damn. Enemies to lovers arc in progress."
Leah burst into laughter while I groaned, dropping my head onto the table. "Please. No one is in the ‘lovers’ category here. Let’s not get carried away."
Serena hummed thoughtfully. "I mean, you have to admit, it is kinda weird how he looks at you."
I frowned. "What do you mean?"
She tilted her head. "It’s not just avoidance. If he didn’t care at all, he’d just ignore you like he does with most people. But he looks at you, AJ. And not just a glance—like, really looks at you."
Cyrus nodded in agreement. "She’s right. You can feel it when he walks in. It’s like the air shifts. And you’re the only one he does that with."
I pursed my lips, replaying the moment in my head. The way his gaze had lingered for that extra second before he walked away. The sharpness in his stare, like he was sizing me up—or maybe warning me away.
But why?
I shook my head, trying to push the thought aside. "Look, I don’t know what his deal is, and honestly? I don’t care. He doesn’t like me, fine. I’ll just stay out of his way."
Leah arched a brow. "You sure about that?"
"Absolutely."
Serena smirked. "Alright, alright. We’ll drop it. For now."
I sighed in relief, leaning back in my chair. "Thank you."
But something told me they weren’t going to let this go anytime soon.
And if I was being completely honest with myself neither was I.
Leah leaned forward, propping her elbows on the table with a sly grin. “Anyways, now that we’ve established the undeniable tension between you and our dear Adam—”
I groaned loudly, throwing my head back. “Leah, please—”
She waved a hand dismissively. “Fine, fine! I’ll let you live... for now. But I do need to know something.” She tilted her head at me, eyes twinkling with curiosity. “Has a beautiful girl like yourself ever been in a relationship?”
Serena gasped dramatically, slapping the table. “Ooooh, yes, excellent question. Spill, AJ!”
Cyrus smirked, rubbing his hands together like he was ready for some juicy gossip. “Yeah, come on, don’t be shy. We need all the details.”
I sighed, feeling heat creep up my neck. “I hate you guys.”
Leah winked. “Love you too, babe. Now answer the question.”
I huffed, playing with the edge of my napkin as my mind circled back to my college years causing me to debate how much to say. “Alright, fine. I’ve been in one real relationship.”
Serena gasped, eyes wide. “One? That’s it?”
I gave her a look. “Yeah, and trust me, one was enough.”
Cyrus leaned in, eyes gleaming with interest. “What happened? Did he cheat? Were you secretly a spy and had to break up for his safety? Please tell me it was something dramatic.”
I laughed. “Nothing that exciting. It just… didn’t work out.”
Leah raised a brow. “That’s a very vague way of saying something happened.”
I sighed, tapping my fingers against the table.  "It was in college and we were together for a couple of months. I really believed we were going somewhere.” I paused, swallowing the slight lump in my throat. “But then, we fought a lot and things got hard, so we thought it was best if we just parted ways.”
Serena’s face softened. “Damn. That’s rough.”
I shrugged, trying to play it off. “It’s whatever. It was a long time ago.”
Cyrus frowned. “Still, that sucks. You gave him months of your life, and he just dipped? That’s messed up.”
I forced a small smile, but his words hit deeper than I expected. You gave him months of your life, and he just dipped? My fingers tightened around the edge of my napkin as something heavy settled in my chest and my mind wondered back to my time with Jungkook, completely forgetting about my college relationship.
We had never officially been together. There were no titles, no grand declarations of love. But the way he kissed me, the way his hands found me in the dark, the way he whispered my name like it was something precious—it all felt like more than just nothing. He acted like I was his. And for a long time, I let myself believe it.
The way he always found a way to pull me close, his breath warm against my skin as he murmured things I knew he never meant. The late nights where we blurred the lines between friendship and something else, something more, until it was impossible to tell where we began and ended. And then, just like that, he was gone.
I swallowed hard, pushing the thought away before it could drag me under.
Leah reached over, squeezing my hand gently. “Well, it’s his loss. You’re a catch, AJ.”
I smiled, squeezing her hand back. “Thanks, Leah.”
Serena smirked. “And now you’re single and thriving.”
Cyrus wiggled his brows. “And possibly on the verge of an enemies-to-lovers romance with a certain broody boss.”
I groaned, covering my face. “I knew you were gonna bring that back up!”
Leah laughed. “We never let things go, babe.”
Serena nodded. “Especially when they involve a hot, mysterious man with tattoos.”
I peeked at her through my fingers. “You think he’s hot?”
She scoffed. “AJ, please. He’s objectively attractive. Doesn’t mean he’s nice, though.”
Cyrus chuckled. “Yeah, he’s got that whole I hate everything aesthetic down. Respect.”
I shook my head, sighing. “You guys….”
Cyrus glanced down at his phone and immediately cursed under his breath. “Shit! I was supposed to sort out a few boxes in the back five minutes ago.” He pushed back his chair so fast that it screeched against the floor, nearly toppling over in his rush to stand.
I chuckled at his panic. “I’ll do it.”
His head snapped toward me, eyes widening. “Wait, really?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, no problem. Anything to get away from you guys and your weird obsession with my love life.”
Leah, Serena, and Cyrus all erupted into laughter.
“We still have half an hour of break left,” Leah teased, wagging her eyebrows. “So don’t think you’re off the hook.”
Serena grinned. “Yeah, we’ll be waiting right here, ready to interrogate you again.”
I rolled my eyes, smirking. “Right. Well, have fun with that. I’ll be back.”
I stepped into the storage room, immediately feeling the temperature drop slightly from the café’s warmth. The space smelled of coffee beans, cardboard, and a faint trace of cleaning supplies. Rows of metal shelves stretched across the room, stacked with inventory, and I spotted the boxes Cyrus had been talking about tucked away in the far corner.
I walked over and got to work, grabbing each box one by one and placing them on the shelves. It took longer than I expected—the weight of them had my arms burning after a few minutes but I kept going, determined to finish.
After about ten minutes, I reached the last box. It was heavier than the others, and the shelf it needed to go on was just out of reach. Still, I wasn’t about to back down. I stood on my tiptoes, stretching as much as I could, gripping the sides as I slowly pushed it backward. My muscles strained with the effort, but after a few seconds, I thought I had it secured.
I exhaled in relief, smiling to myself.
Until I heard a soft shift.
My stomach dropped.
Then before I could react, the box tilted forward. I squeezed my eyes shut bracing myself for the impact but it never came. Instead, I felt something solid in front of me, a warmth that wasn’t there before. When I slowly opened my eyes, my breath hitched.
Adam. He was right there, standing impossibly close, his tattooed hand gripping the box effortlessly while his other was braced against the shelf beside my head, effectively caging me in. His sharp jaw was tense, dark eyes locked onto mine, his entire frame towering over me like a storm about to break.
I swallowed hard, suddenly very aware of how small the storage room felt.
"Uh…" My voice came out weaker than I wanted. "Thanks?"
Adam didn’t answer right away. He just stared at me, his expression unreadable—but something burned behind his gaze. Anger. Annoyance. Frustration.
Finally, his lips parted, and his voice came out low and sharp.
"Do you ever think before you do things?"
I blinked, taken aback. "Excuse me?"
His jaw clenched, and he yanked the box fully onto the shelf like it weighed nothing. The movement was forceful, controlled—but I could feel the irritation radiating off him.
"You could’ve gotten hurt," he snapped, his voice edged with barely contained anger.
I scowled, crossing my arms. "Well, I didn’t."
His jaw tightened further. For a second, I swore I saw something flicker across his face—something deeper, something raw. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced by a cold, hard mask.
He finally stepped back, creating space between us, but the tension between our bodies still lingered in the air.
"Just be more careful," he muttered, his voice quieter now, but no less intense.
I stared at him, frustration bubbling in my chest. He didn’t turn around. Didn’t even look at me. And then, just as he reached the door, he threw his response over his shoulder, voice low and cutting.
I stood there, heart hammering, breath uneven, the weight of his words pressing into my chest. But no matter how hard I tried to shake it off, I couldn’t ignore the way my skin still burned where he had been close.
Jungkook’s POV:
The boardroom was a pristine, almost clinical space—modern, minimalist, and impersonal, just like every other meeting room he had ever been forced to sit through. The long glass table reflected the glow of the overhead lighting, polished to perfection, not a single smudge in sight. Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the city skyline stretched endlessly, neon lights flickering in the distance, but Jungkook hardly noticed.
The room was filled with people—team principals, engineers, sponsors, and a handful of other drivers—all engaged in animated discussion about the upcoming season. Voices overlapped, some eager, some calculated, some skeptical. Pens scratched against notepads, the occasional sip of coffee punctuating the conversation.
Jungkook sat at the far end of the table, leaning back in his chair, one arm draped casually over the backrest. He was here in body, but his mind? Somewhere else entirely.
He should’ve been paying attention.
Everyone else was.
“The new FIA regulations mean we’re looking at adjustments to the rear wing, which should increase straight-line speed—”
“Yeah, but won’t that mess with high-speed corners?”
“The simulations show slight understeer, but braking zones will compensate.”
Jungkook barely heard them. Their words turned into white noise, a distant hum that barely grazed the surface of his awareness. He stared at the blank notepad in front of him, the pen in his hand motionless. His coffee sat untouched beside him, steam curling up into the cold air, dissipating just as quickly as his focus.
What the fuck am I even doing here?
The question pressed against the inside of his skull, but he ignored it. He was the reigning champion. The next season was already looming over them, and this meeting was crucial for strategy, for preparation, and for solidifying his dominance on the track.
And yet, none of it seemed to matter.
Not the data. Not the numbers. Not the talk of performance upgrades and tire compounds.
He had everything—success, fame, money, power—yet an unsettling emptiness coiled in his chest, growing heavier by the day.
Jungkook exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face, willing himself to focus but was snapped out of his haze when an unfamiliar yet so painfully recognizable voice sent a jolt through his spine.
“Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Aylah—”
His breath caught. His entire body went rigid as his head snapped up.
His chair scraped against the floor, the sharp noise cutting through the room like a knife. His hand nearly knocked over his coffee as he sat up straight, eyes locked onto the woman standing at the front.
His pulse hammered against his ribs.
It can’t be—He didn’t breathe. Couldn’t.
For a split second, hope surged through his chest so violently it almost hurt.
And then—reality hit.
She had different hair. Different eyes. Her stance wasn’t the same. The voice was similar but not identical.
It wasn’t her.
His throat tightened as humiliation crashed over him in waves.
The room had fallen silent.
Every single person was staring at him.
Confused expressions. Raised eyebrows. Someone muttered, “What the fuck was that?” under their breath.
Jungkook clenched his jaw, cursing himself internally as he forced his muscles to relax, leaning back in his chair like nothing had happened.
Fucking idiot.
His heart was still racing, but now it was out of frustration—at himself, at the stupid hope that had flickered alive just to be snuffed out immediately.
He wasn’t this weak. He wasn’t the type to dwell on shit like this.
She’s gone. Why the fuck would she be here?
He exhaled sharply, the weight in his chest unbearable. Without another word, he pushed his chair back and stood abruptly.
“I need a minute,” he muttered, not waiting for a response as he strode out of the boardroom.
The fluorescent lights of the bathroom were harsh against his skin, too bright, too exposing.
Jungkook braced his hands against the sink, shoulders tense as he stared at his reflection.The man looking back at him barely resembled the version of himself he used to be. Bloodshot eyes. Prominent eye bags. Shadows lingering in the hollows of his face, making him look older, more exhausted.
He looked like a man who hadn’t slept in weeks—because he hadn’t. He ran a hand through his damp hair, his grip tightening slightly as frustration simmered beneath his skin.This wasn’t him.
He didn’t lose sleep over people. He didn’t get caught up in feelings. He didn’t miss people.
And yet—
Why does she still feel so close?
The thought alone sent another wave of irritation rolling through him. He exhaled harshly, turning on the tap and splashing cold water onto his face, blinking rapidly as the icy shock cut through him.
Get a grip.
As he made his way back to the boardroom, his hand hovering over the door handle, voices from inside caught his attention. Low murmurs. Whispering.
“Yeah, heard his designer quit.”
“No way.”
“Yep. Walked out. That’s why he’s been so off his game, he’s gonna lose without another car like that.”
Jungkook froze.
His fingers twitched against the door handle.
“Shit, his loss. That car was insane.”
Then—
“How much you wanna bet they fucked and then he tossed her aside?”
Rage ignited in his veins. His breath left him in a sharp exhale, his jaw clenching so hard it ached.
For a brief moment, he considered walking in there and breaking someone’s nose. But what would be the point? It wouldn’t change anything. No what they thought. And certainly not the fact that they weren’t technically wrong. He had tossed her aside.
So, instead, he turned on his heel and walked out of the building without another word. The moment he stepped outside, the crisp night air hit him, cooling the fire burning in his veins, but not enough to extinguish it. His shoulders were tense as he stalked toward his car, the rhythmic click of his boots against the pavement barely audible over the sound of distant traffic.
Then, with one swift motion, he yanked open the door to his Lamborghini Aventador SVJ, slid into the driver’s seat, and slammed it shut. The second the engine roared to life, a sharp thrill ran through him—the kind that came not from excitement, but from the promise of escape.
Jungkook gripped the steering wheel tight, his foot pressing down harder than he should as he peeled out of the parking lot and onto the open road. The world outside blurred into streaks of neon and headlights as he weaved through traffic, the powerful engine growling beneath him like a caged animal desperate to break free.
Faster. He needed to go faster.
Needed to outrun the anger, the frustration, the goddamn ache that had been clawing at his chest for weeks. The city lights flashed past in a feverish haze—skyscrapers illuminated like constellations, billboards flickering with advertisements he didn’t bother to register, the glow of red taillights streaking through the darkness like falling stars.
His thoughts raced just as wildly.
Aylah. The whispers in that fucking meeting room. His grip tightened until his knuckles turned white, his jaw aching from how hard he was clenching it. They don’t know shit.
They didn’t know how he had spent the last few weeks unable to sleep, haunted by the ghost of her voice, the phantom touch of her fingertips against his skin. Didn’t know how the race felt off without her there. Didn’t know how he still fucking saw her in the crowd sometimes—only for the illusion to shatter the second he blinked.
Didn’t know how he couldn’t step into the design company without expecting to see her, leaning against the workbench, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she examined the car. Didn’t know how badly he wanted to hear her voice, even if it was just to tell him off for being an idiot.
The thought alone made something snap inside him. With a sharp inhale, Jungkook slammed his palm against the steering wheel, a growl of frustration ripping from his throat.
The sound echoed in the enclosed space of the car, but it did nothing to ease the tension clawing at his ribs. Nothing did. His foot eased off the gas slightly as he reached the outskirts of the city, where the skyline melted into rolling hills and empty roads. He didn’t know where he was going—just that he needed to get away.
And so, when he finally reached a familiar overlook—a secluded spot high above the city, where the lights below looked like scattered embers in the dark—he pulled over.The moment the car rumbled to a stop, he exhaled sharply and leaned back against the seat, tilting his head against the headrest.
Silence.
Only the sound of his own uneven breathing filled the car, mingling with the distant hum of the city below. After a long moment, he pushed open the door and stepped out.
The night air was cool against his overheated skin, the wind carrying the faint scent of rain. He leaned against the hood of the car, eyes locked on the horizon as he took slow, measured breaths, trying to calm the storm raging inside him.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, gripping the back of his neck as frustration curled through his muscles.
Then his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, his stomach twisting when he saw the notification.
Jade: Where are you?
His jaw tightened. Without hesitation, he locked the screen and shoved the phone back into his pocket. A bitter laugh escaped him.
Of course she knows.
She had been hanging off his arm for weeks, showing up at every afterparty, slipping into his bed like she belonged there. But no matter how much he tried to lose himself in her, no matter how much he let her touch him, whisper his name—
She wasn’t her.
He exhaled sharply, shaking his head as he stared out at the city below.
“For fuck sake just give me a sign.”
A bolt of lightning split the sky, illuminating the darkness for a fraction of a second. Jungkook flinched as the deafening sound echoed across the hills. Rain poured down in thick sheets, drenching him within seconds. His shirt clinging to his skin, droplets sliding down his face, his wet hair falling into his eyes.
He let out a breathless laugh, shoving his hair back as he stood in the middle of the storm. His chest rose and fell unevenly as he tilted his head back, eyes locked onto the raging sky above. His voice was hoarse when he spoke, barely above a whisper.
“So this is what love feels like.”
His fingers curled at his sides.
A bitter smile tugged at his lips as the rain pounded against his skin, cold and relentless. He let the weight of the words settle over him, let them sink into his bones, let them carve themselves into the spaces she had unknowingly left behind.
Then, with a hollow laugh, he whispered into the storm—
“What a fucking joke.”
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femanthropy · 2 days ago
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In light of that celebrity who got a surrogate mother, I saw somebody compare surrogacy to organ donation and FUCK that is the puzzle piece that I didn’t consider but it makes so much sense. And it makes it even more sinister than it already was.
There was that proposition made by that sick person about keeping brain-dead women on life support to have kids. That was of course (to my memory and as of I last heard) shut down from the get go. It’s so fucking evil it’s so fucking sick.
~~
On a more personal note, I was adopted. There are many many reasons why the adoption industry is fucked up too. To my knowledge of my birth mother, she could not afford to care for me and my deadbeat sperm donor just abandoned her.
But I’m painfully aware of infant bonding because I have (allegedly my psych tells me) infant abandonment syndrome, where it was possible in the orphanage (it was 1999 in Russia. A poorer town and ofc with the effects of the fall of the Soviet Union) that when I cried as a baby, and wasn’t acknowledged, that led to my extreme fear and reaction to abandonment (of course on top of OCD, but I don’t think my OCD was caused by that specifically).
The critical years of children’s development is fascinating to me. While I spent a long time struggling with believing infant abandonment syndrome existed, I have a community of people who believe in it for me when it wasn’t something I wanted to acknowledge myself.
Anyway fuck sorry long rant.
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freakynote · 3 days ago
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Can you do L comforting y/n who has depression and self confidence issues? <33
here you go!! <3
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─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
L comforting y/n who has depression and struggles with self confident
TW: mention of depression
L Notices Everything
He may seem emotionally detached to others, but L is incredibly observant, especially when it comes to y/n. He notices whenever y/n feels down. He won’t ask about it right away ,but he will subtly adjust his behavior to support her
Y/n tried to hide how drained she felt ,but L catches the way she avoids eye contact and fidgets with her sleeves every time. Instead of pushing her to talk, he simply placed a sweet treat next to her and sat close. When she glanced at him, he’s was already looking at her, his expression unreadable. “You seem off today,” he said ,voice quiet but certain. “I will not force you to speak, but I am here if you want to.“
Silent but Present Comfort
L isn’t one for big speeches, but his presence alone is reassuring. He will sit next to y/n, offering her sweets, and keeps her close without forcing her to talk. His way of comforting y/n is through quiet actions rather than excessive words
Y/n sat on the couch, knees pulled to her chest, staring blankly at the floor. L walked into the room, carrying his usual sweets and without a word, he took a place next to her. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong, doesn’t try to fix it—he just stays, occasionally offering y/n a bite of cake. He leaned gently against her ,his warmth grounding her. “You don’t have to be alone in this,” he murmured ,almost like a little reminder.
Blunt but Sincere Reassurance
Whenever y/n express self-doubt, L’s response is straightforward but heartfelt. He won’t sugarcoat things, but he will tell the truth: “Your worth is not determined by your perception of yourself, but rather by the undeniable fact that you exist and matter. I have analyzed you Y/N and I can confirm: you are irreplaceable.”
Y/n mumbled something self-deprecating under her breath, not expecting L to hear it or respond ,but he does. “That statement is factually incorrect,” he said, looking directly at her. “You contribute more than you realize, and your perception of yourself is skewed. I would not keep someone around if they were as insignificant as you claim.”
Physical Comfort in His Own Way
L isn’t big on physical affection, but if he senses y/n needs it, he’ll let her lean against him while he works, slightly running a thumb over her knuckles or tucking a strand of hair behind her ear
Y/n was sitting besides L, her head heavy with exhaustion, when he suddenly shifted. She barely processed it before he gently pulled her hand into his, his thumb tracing slow circles over her skin. He did not say anything, but his touch was deliberate, careful. When she squeezed his hand back, he nods as if confirming something. And he never lets go.
Encouraging Small Achievements
He knows from experience that depression makes even the simplest things feel overwhelming. If y/n manages to do something—even something small like getting out of bed—he acknowledges it: “I see you’re making an effort, Y/N. That’s commendable.”
Y/n managed to get out of bed ,even though it felt impossible. L obviously noticed, though he doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, as he sets down his teacup, he casually remarks, “You are making progress. That is great.” She blinked at him, surprised by the acknowledgment and for the first time that day, she felt just a little lighter. He doesn’t push, but y/n catches the way he watches her. He’s genuinely proud.
requests are open! <3
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sleepyslag · 11 hours ago
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Loving your perspective on the launch and feeling comfortable. Notice how Dan is touching Phil again in the new end of show pics? I really feel Phil is letting Dan decide how to navigate the new boundaries and letting him take it at his own pace but there's no doubt things are shifting.
I just want them to be happy and know we all support them regardless but I think Dan who thought himself unlovable, loving openly & being loved would be so amazing.
Yeah, it seems like Phil lets Dan take the lead in these sorts of things a lot. Not that it doesn't matter to Phil, since he's always been the more private one, but Dan has a more complicated past and relationship with his queer identity, so I think he has more to work through. For Phil I get the sense that once he decides he's ready to take a step like this he doesn't think about it as much? Whereas Dan might be ready but he still needs to work his way up to it. But either way this is a major step for them and they've been taking it super slow pushing the boundaries little by little. I'm going to be so proud when they do hard launch the last 15 years have been tough on them.
I think it'll be good for them to be more open. What we've seen of their love is so beautiful, and I'm sure they'll still be very private but just being able to acknowledge it in some way will be amazing.
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supahstarrr · 3 days ago
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Thoughts on Watari Nishino's student spotlight
Warning: there will be discussions of misogyny here & mentions of abuse.
i am so satisfied that Watari Nishino has finally got her student interview. it's so satisfying that her character is allowed to be shown outside of being in The Supportive role or Comedic relief. i also have an opportunity to share some of my thoughts that i left out of my previous ramble post about her, and to reaffirm some of my thoughts I've expressed already!
i will try to organize my thoughts, you know like how those really good tumblr fanganronpa analyzers do? organize with titles, screenshots and all that? this post will still be sloppy though... i'm not fancy with words. And this is (mostly) not an analysis post... I am just very passionate about Watari.
before all, i want to touch on the vocal performance of the VA. the amounts of energy and character that was oozed out... I was stunned!!! and the voice becoming low and breaking at some points was so heartbreaking to hear; the performance expressed her "strength" that was constantly on the verge of breaking down during this interview. the voice having edge to it at some points—the underlying resentment and longing was so overbearing.
Watari's opinion on marriage
Honestly, there's so much stuff going on. I could screenshot everything about what the hell she was yapping about but that's a lot of work.
one of the first thoughts about marriage is how she wants to be the wife of Hayashi, to serve her and care for her! its funny and sweet. but then she remembers about the social dynamics she has put up with all her life, how she has always been a victim of them and witness of them... yikes. its fucked up she she likes the idea to serve people she care or love about as a way to express love, but to some extent, it's a reminder of common dynamics in marriage between men and women that are "expected" as they are an extension of oppressive social dynamics.
it's pretty sad how her perception of marriage and being a wife is so tainted by the previously prominent one in her life. like it is the common occurrence for patriarchal roles to be ingrained in marriages, and it's likely her parent's marriage reflected that toxic normalcy. there is so much disdain and resentment through comments on the "role" as a husband and "role" as a wife as a trauma response.
particularly, she largely associates being a wife with physically and mentally serving the husband and in the process to carry more burden, while the husband is allowed to be more independent outside of serving for someone and be acknowledged as human as he is more allowed to express his emotion (ex: through complaints). despite the disdain about the oppressive position the general husband holds over his wife, she finds some comfort in the role as the husband is allowed to express his humanity and have some independence. this is disdain is personal; its not only just rooted from her oppression in society as a girl, but also the marriage she witnessed.
I think there could also be the possibility that she sees herself as a "Wife". Not even just because of the expectations tied to her gender, but because of the current she has in the family, as the "wife" who must serve the family. Although there is some differences between the wife and her role in the family, the sentiment is that she is expected to serve at the expense of her humanity. Which adds more layers to the commentary on the marriage and her tendencies to put herself in leader positions where she's able to have fun with it (despite doing that having some complications).
Also very specifically this line gave me a mental pause.
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What the hell? Suspicious... as i interpret there being an underlying personal tone (not just regarding to her position in society as a girl, but also towards the previous marriage) to the way she speaks about husbands, this... makes me very concerned! concerned! the nature of her previous parent's marriage has always gave me curiosity and concern. and this points to it being more personal as monomoko says it feels they have "strayed away" from the intentions of the question. yeah this is definitely personal.
i've always wondered whether or not the marriage was mutually toxic or abusive. and if there was abuse, i wonder about the extent of the abuse the children faced and/or if they were mostly stuck as the role of the witness of a parent's abuse. i've wondered if they were emotionally neglected while being a witness to physical, verbal and/or other kinds of abuse. now this gives me more questions. was alcoholism involved??? her father was an alcoholic possibly... and i wonder how it affected everyone in the family. good grief so much layers to this!!
and what gets me is that she does reach out to her father sometimes... despite all...? having mommy and daddy issues at once is dangerous.
to give a wonderful, but relatable, end to the topic of marriage... she says this.
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this was yet another interesting thing she said regarding to marriage considering her lack of genuine attraction to men. though this is a funny remark she says loosely, this really gives more layers to the way she treats her "attraction" towards men. it's very interesting that particularly speaks about her "attraction" in this context of speaking about marriage and the common roles in them which stem from misogyny, while in earlier videos where she expresses this "attraction" is typically in the context of men serving for her. she plays with a "romantic attraction" about men as a way to reclaim the oppressive position men and oppressive societal expectations which hold over her.
through this play she plays with expectations attached to her gender—the expectation that girls & women must be romantically attracted to men and it must lead to the "inherent" desire to serve them, and that women must be committed and follow "rules" regarding to their attraction. since this immediate perception of how "all girls and women" experience, express or act on their expression has roots in misogyny. when she plays with a "romantic attraction" or "romantic interest" towards men, she gets to decide how and when she wants to be served or be leader whenever she wants to without commitment to those "feelings" that she cannot genuinely feel.
this disillusion with society's expectations and "rules" regarding to girls' and women's romantic interests encourages her to be very loud when expressing her genuine romantic and sexual attraction towards hayashi—though at the expense of hayashi's thoughts on that—as this expression actively breaks the expectation that she must express her desires quietly and how her attraction towards women is supposedly "false" or "less serious". thus, she gets to have a sense of control on those expectations forced onto her.
Watari's family
there was a thought i had about her role in the family, which i left out of my previous post about her as i didn't know where to put it. thanks to the interview, i have an opportunity to share this. i had the thought that her "leadership" role in the family was influenced by misogynistic standards in society. pushing girls into the adult caretaker role plus the lack of concern towards the emotional weight girls & women get from being forced into those positions are expressions of misogyny, which led me to that idea.
this idea i've had has definitely been hinted now shown by how she says her mother never had expectations for her older brother yet had them for her despite previously being the youngest in the family. which is likely the case due to misogyny her mother has internalized. not to be "overzealous" about the this misogyny talk, but there's a chance her brother holds these misogynistic beliefs as well.
and the way that watari is so particularly attentive to raising her sister because she knows that her sister will be pushed to become the next "sibling mom" due to this misogyny being ingrained in the family (not just shown by why she has the "leadership" role but also [likely] the previous marriage) despite the older brother still being around... just gave me a heartache. the kinship between the sisters due to their girlhood... ughhh my god its so bittersweet. there's an extra layer to this i feel. her feeling so obliged to break the cycle through parenting her sister is so reminiscent of how she broke the marriage. back then she tried to break the cycle of the pain that was so ingrained in the marriage; and she did! and now she feels obliged to break another cycle.
The curious case of Watari's mother
Later on in the interview, Watari comments about having a lot of siblings. She has get grievances about this as she knows she will have to step up to take care of them. This comment and grief reminds me of this earlier comment she made:
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I wonder if this commentary on being a wife also refers to her mother—I mean this bit on what "it means" to be a husband and wife is very personal for her enough, especially when it comes how she speaks about The Husband role.
There are questions about my idea which is just a very loose theory. I'm unsure about the timeline stuff. But two or three children can already be close to "too much" depending on the culture, then expecting yet another third or fourth child can be considered definitely "too much". so regardless of how many children existed during the marriage and divorce, this could still refer to her mother when she was a wife.
If this is talking about her mother, this gives some interesting context to her. Although she most definitely do not "clean stuff all day" in present times as told about her constant neglectful character, perhaps she did back then. And so when she's divorced... she just.... don't clean anymore? I wonder if her mother is depressed and/or have negative feelings about parenthood as a result of the divorce, which could motivate her to be neglectful in various of ways. and these feelings doesnt have to just be a result of the divorce—they could already be lingering during the marriage, but increased because there's suddenly "no reason" to disregard them for the sake of holding a marriage that isn't there anymore.
this interests me as in Watari's text file, she attempts to reassure her siblings that her mother still loves the family. i would say its not not even just for the sake of comforting her siblings but also for the sake of her comfort, especially as Watari do genuinely hold some love towards her mother. I feel there's a possibility that her mother has shown genuine care and investment to the family before (like through cleaning as that act can be revealing of some care), at least during the marriage, and so she believes her mother has the potential to still be loving and caring to the family.
additional thoughts
the disillusion with societal standards and expectations towards women & girls as they're an extension of systematic misogyny is so heavily tied to watari's character that it hurts! hurts in the "i understand" way as a girl (kind of) myself. her character is so important. her character hits home as unfortunately in black communities, adultification of black girls is an unfortunate common occurrence. though unsure if the creator took consideration of this, or of misogynoir in general, in watari's story & character.
this really ties nicely to the topic of reclamation being connected to her character, which I've now realized is apart of her character even more than I thought. this interview was *really* great to me. It introduced more questions, introduced more ideas to her character, and more context. This interview felt longer than some other student interviews, which is delicious to me as someone who desperately wishes for more Watari-focused content.
This interview support my claims about her taking on "leadership" role as headmaster as a way to reclaim the leadership roles she has in her life, particularly her role in her family. its fucked that the one time she gets to have fun with being a leader... it's soured. it's fucked that the cases she's tried to be selfish by tending to her comfort and fun, some shit happens. its fucked.
"i don't want to be sad all the time"... "i just want to be a normal child for once!" and many more lines are just so revealing of her constant state of grief. Her longing. Resentment. She is so tragic to me. Sigh. I hope that soon, she will be comforted and the one who is reached out to. I hope her grief will be acknowledged by others more.
This was a lot of typing and editing, and im sure ill have to edit later. Maybe i could expand on some things, but i wanted this to specifically be about Watari Nishino, her character, and her background. Not just her character relating to other characters. Byebye :) this took hours and I need to sleep. i hope things were worded nicely and tastefully. i also tried not to be repetitive.
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lesbianherald · 7 hours ago
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so i know you're trying to process Coming Home being the top fic now but bestie are you aware that you hit 30k kudos?
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ok. ok ok okok.
As a warning, I'm going to get really weird and personal here.
I got these this morning. Just like with the last one I have no idea what to do with this or how to appropriately deal with it lmao but to everyone who has been so nice - thank you. so much? this is a number so unfathomable to me that I've been trying to sit with it all day and simply cannot process it as real.
I don't want to care about numbers. I want to be super cool and chill and above that. but this is a really big one. and I think it also is really reflective of how big this community has grown. I've decided it would be odd not to acknowledge it.
This is one of the craziest, kindest, most lovely things that has ever happened to me. It feels so incredible and validating to know my work reached some people. That is quite literally all I want to do with my life. And now it feels like I might be able to with my own stuff. But its a lil deeper than that too. All the comments and support have genuinely been such an amazing balm during a really dark time in my life.
At the start, this fic was always a method of escapism for me. I've been under so much pressure in my real life. I'm in a really weird, really competitive transitional point. everything I write irl may make or break the rest of my career. It is a type of pressure I'm incredibly grateful and privileged to have, but still stressful nonetheless.
But then, as i was writing this fic, it became way more of a lifeline. Not to get too personal, and idk if people paid attention to my end notes, but if you did you'll note I fell victim to the ao3 curse last October in a really big way. I lost a dear friend of mine very suddenly.
Starting coming home was a way for me to write something just to write it, knowing that I could be myself and do whatever I want and just throw shit at the wall without worrying about anything. after my friend passed away, the escapism of it became that much more valuable. (btw I would not post about it were I not in a much better place with it so don't worry about me <3)
I feel like maybe it's important at this point to explain the meaning of all the support because I've genuinely been unable to express it in a way I find appropriate. every piece of art every sweet comment etc. etc. helped get me through this really weird, sad, shocking time. As "cringe" as it might seem... fandom and fanfic can be really meaningful, powerful, and connective.
All this being said. coming home was definitely released in the right time for this to happen. A multichapter released right before and during season 2 as well as in the months after? Like. It was primed for this a bit (not intentionally but still) So many fics that get posted now deserve the same amount of love and support.
I really hesitate with numbers. sharing them, abiding by them, gaining value from them. I also get nervous about how people will feel entitled to treat me because of them. But this is so insane it feels weird not to say a bigger thank you.
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phoenixblaze1412 · 1 day ago
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I love the child reader stuff you make a lot! how do you think the segments and dottore would react if child reader now a bit grown up into teen years came out as queer/trans?
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Dottore (Prime/Zandik)
At first, Dottore’s reaction might seem detached. He’s not the type to outwardly emote much in any situation, but his mind would immediately start analyzing. Not in a dismissive way, he genuinely wants to understand.
“Interesting,” he might say, with his usual sharp tone, but he wouldn’t mean it mockingly. To him, it’s simply a matter of identity, and the mechanics of gender or orientation fascinate him from a scientific standpoint.
Beneath his cold demeanor, he respects you deeply, so he wouldn’t dismiss your experience.
If you needed reassurance, he would provide it in his own way: practical support. He would ensure you had whatever resources, clothes, or tools you needed to feel at ease.
He’s protective, so anyone who dared disrespect you over your identity would face his wrath in full force.
The Omega Segment
Omega is logical and pragmatic, so his response would be straightforward and nonchalant. “If that’s who you are, then so be it.”
He wouldn’t make a big deal out of it and would treat it like any other personal revelation, continuing to work or experiment while listening.
However, he has a soft spot for you. While he doesn’t show it often, he would adjust his behavior if it made you more comfortable, switching to new pronouns or offering affirmations subtly in his interactions.
He’d also offer guidance in a calm, steady tone if you seemed uncertain about yourself, always grounding you when emotions ran high.
The Iota Segment
Iota’s reaction would be more overt. He’s loud and proud of you, hyping you up immediately. “That’s my kid!” he’d exclaim with a wide grin, clapping you on the back.
He might be overbearing with his enthusiasm at first, insisting on helping you in ways that could verge on embarrassing, like marching off to intimidate anyone who might have ever been cruel to you.
“You tell me if anyone’s giving you trouble. I’ll take care of it.” His protective instincts go into overdrive.
Iota is a bit brash but very genuine. If you needed support, he’d jump into action without hesitation, even if he didn’t fully understand at first.
The Epsilon Segment
Epsilon would react much like Prime but with a more inquisitive, academic lens. He might bombard you with questions not to belittle, but because he’s fascinated and genuinely wants to learn how best to support you.
“So, how does this impact your perception of yourself? What can I do to accommodate your needs?” His tone would be clinical, but his intention kind.
He’d research queer or trans topics extensively, likely overwhelming you with resources and information. “I’ve compiled some data you might find helpful.”
He’s a bit socially awkward, so his attempts to express support might come across as stiff or overly formal, but his care is evident in his actions.
The Theta Segment
Theta is playful and teases everyone, but his reaction would surprise you with its sincerity. “Really? That’s awesome! Now, let’s mess with everyone else by confusing them about your pronouns for fun.”
He’d lighten the mood with jokes, but they’d never be at your expense. Instead, he’d use humor to make you feel at ease and ensure you knew he accepted you wholeheartedly.
Theta would also go out of his way to validate you, casually working affirming comments into conversations without making a big deal out of it.
“You’re already the coolest person here; this just cements it.”
The Zeta Segment
Zeta doesn’t say much, so his reaction would be subtle but deeply supportive. A nod of acknowledgment, a small smile, these gestures would say everything.
He’s not one for grand speeches, but his actions speak louder than words. He’d ensure you felt respected and cared for without making a fuss.
If anyone tried to disrespect you, Zeta would be the silent enforcer, using his presence to intimidate them into backing off.
As a collective, the segments might bicker over the best way to support you, each with their own approach. But the one thing they’d all agree on is that you’re their kid, and they’d defend you fiercely.
Prime would eventually step in to coordinate their efforts, ensuring that they didn’t overwhelm you with their differing reactions.
The lab might become a bit chaotic at first as they adjust to any changes you’ve shared, but their love for you is unwavering. Whether you’re queer, trans, or simply figuring yourself out, they’d all stand by your side.
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katyspersonal · 1 day ago
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Er fandom is soo funny sometimes like in x theyre crying how shipping Rellana/Rennala with Messmer/Radagon is misogyny to reduce strong female characters to be nothing but love interest to male characters which is something i agree with but then they turn and reduce Rellana/Rennala to be Marikas lovers so its not misogyny now😭😭😭😭 rules for thee but not for me
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Dude, Marika x Rennala situation is real and deadly, but as for your second example there is only ONE person who is notorious for giving Rellana no personality or acknowledgement beyond being braindead Marika's simp while also trashing on Rellana x Messmer over "misogyny and lesbophobia". No, spamming "misogyny" accusations in Elden Ring fandom like they're in a DPS check situation in general. And with all due respect to them pumping out fanart like assembly line, they and a group of their passionate fans is not "Er fandom". They are just a very loud group and apparently they've angered SO many people that ever since they and their friend who pretended to just "join Tumblr to support favorite artist" (assuming it wasn't just their alter) trashed @val-of-the-north and then got obliterated with facts by me I kept getting DMs after DMs of different people "thanking" me for speaking against their toxic behavior and sharing their own negative experiences with them. 🤦‍♂️
Like, the girls are really unhappy with them. They should reconsider how they behave in the fandom, especially with this much popularity. And if they already have I would not know, I no longer look in their general direction because after how Val was treated seeing any post from them puts a pit in my stomach. I am notorious for taking extremely long time to recover from grudges, especially if they aren't just personal but on behalf of friends or community. :p
And now, back to the subject:
"which is something I agree with"
? Not sure what you wanted to say with this by the way. I assume you wanted to say you agree with the frustration of reduction of female characters rather than disliking the concept of these ships
Or course both ships are absolutely alright! Rellana believes that Fire and Moon should be together as they always have as stated in the description of her blades in Japanese (something localisation team distorted into near-opposite direction)! You know, like they always have since the times of Fire Giants and Astrologers, a bond also treasured in Caria Manor with keeping Sword of Night and Flame! If anything, he is her love interest as he was worth abandoning the birth right as a princess in her eyes! Though one might argue it is ideological and Rellana is idealising, but standing for her beliefs despite the consequences is strong! Messmer has a TON lot to work through with Rellana, seeing a person that loves his curse, when this very thing ruined his life and has been scaring his own mother, and you can see in what good outcomes it can bring both!
Radagon and Rennala, on the other hand, are literally canon. Fromsoft were the ones who """reduced Rennala to just a simp""" by making her go insane from heartbreak, yet even then, she had a backstory as a Moonlight Witch who took over the Academy, and had tender bond with both Rellana and Ranni. Something was whack here, but nothing says Radagon didn't even try to love her or had life with her worthy of shippy fluff. He is just heavily compromised as a person because he is literally a sentient law of nature (he is Golden Order), that depends on how Marika shaped it. Of course he would reforge her wedding gift into a golden sword, it is literally what Golden Order DOES with cultures and the world! This guy was NOT kicking and resisting when he got called to marry Marika instead, but even then who can tell he didn't feel bitter that he had to hurt everyone by his very being and duties? Marika proclaimed to "study the depths of the Golden Order" as transition ( �� ) into a new, more civilized and informed era! You'd think keeping Radagon close 24/7 would prevent him from visiting his divorce family more often? This stuff and this pair is still in the source material, and it isn't anyone's business to claim superior interpretation across the fandom unless female character is literally just a plot decide which Rennala doesn't magically become only because we find her at her lowest point (so... like we find most of the "legendary" characters in every Soulsborne game already....).
___________________
This was just me musing about the ships, but yes, again: literally nothing is wrong with these ships! It is when fans do reduce Rennala and Rellana to just simps what's frustrating, but shallow takes on female characters is problem of fandoms and interacting with media in general, and can't be blamed on concrete ships!
I have deep loathing for fans who complain about this issue yet themselves write female characters in a very shallow way but NOW it's okay because it's yuri and not MxF! Vocal Mariadeline fans did that in Bloodborne, vocal shippers of Rellana or Rennala with Marika do that in Elden Ring... 🤦‍♂️ They claim to be super feminist, yet are sending opposite message by having high quality requirements for MxF ships while celebrating cottagecore mediocrity and shallow portrayals for yuri ships. So, the elite yuri ships are already good by definition and don't need depth, thought and drama, unlike them peasant MxF ships that MUST be well-written and respect characters involved? Is this what they're saying? You either despise ANY reduction (?) of female character or accept any of them, no double standards. Especially when double standards depend on gender of the characters involved??? WTF???
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do u have hcs for sams post canon family life
Ok so gonna preface this with the fact that I hold opinions that I think are relatively uncommon in this corner of Samblr which is that as a general overarching thing Sam was relatively happy, he and blurry partner stayed together and were mostly happy, and Sam was on the whole a pretty good dad. Not that everything was perfect, far from it, but that generally it all worked out ok. I feel this way mostly tbh because if I didn't I would genuinely struggle to get any enjoyment out of the finale. I'm a FAKE Sam suffering enjoyer lmao. It's already deeply fucking depressing to me to imagine Sam spending eternity in heaven with Dean being squished back into The Roles, I need SOMETHING so cling too lol.
ANYWAYS that being said:
Said this before but although I am fairly flexible on identity of blurry partner my personal favourite thing to come back to is that she is Amelia. So I'm gonna run with her for the rest of these.
Related to this is that I think when we see Sam leave the bunker in the finale to go on the hunt in Texas that ended up being the last time he ever returned. He didn't mean it to be, it just happened. Maybe subconsciously he knew because he'd packed the little memory box with pictures etc in the trunk of the Impala without thinking about it. Anyway keeping this on track, he ends up staying in Texas and eventually, he and Amelia run into each other again - her having left Don again after things didn't work out a few years ago (gonna be real with you I think Don was abusive) and end up reconnecting.
Riot and Miricle are kinda grumpy but tolerant about each other.
They also eventually adopt an old lady tabby cat from the local shelter who absolutely terrorises both dogs, but dotes on Sam.
Sam ends up telling Amelia the truth about his life about 3 months into their relationship restarting, not all of it, but enough to keep her aware. She says that honestly even though it sounds crazy it makes a LOT of sense of how Sam was when they first met. This is the point at which they decide they do want their relationship to last and be serious. Amelia suggests they do couple's counselling together, given both their past issues if they really want to make this work.
He and Amelia never marry for a variety of reasons, but it works for them.
Sam ends up getting a degree - I think in something like anthropology (me an archaeologist totally not biased here lol), he does it through a distance learning program so mostly online but with some in-person classes and workshops.
DJ wasn't a planned pregnancy and it took a lot of discussion between them to decide to go ahead. Sam in particular was very anxious about the idea of being an actual dad to an actual baby, as much as he was kinda one to Jack he knows this is a whole different level. Amelia never wanted kids with Don. Amelia is also in her 40s by the time it happens so there are extra potential complications to consider. In the end they both agree that they want go ahead, and they both acknowledge that this will probably be their only kid.
Already mentioned Sam and DJ being autistic elsewhere but that's very precious to me.
Sam does struggle to find a balance between making sure he's there for DJ in a way his dad wasn't for him and being too much of a helicopter parent. He's SO conscious of DJ being an only child and the potential for loneliness stemming from that (absolutely projecting his own childhood loneliness SO hard and of course, his ideas on sibling companionship are NOT normal lol). As DJ get's older Sam does manage to relax a little, although it is still an issue from time to time.
That being said as I mentioned previously re the autism headcannon this level of worry also means that Sam puts in SO much work and research into being a supportive dad to an autistic kid.
Amelia is the 'breadwinner' in the relationship, continuing to work as a vet, Sam works a series of different part-time jobs over the years, mostly involving fixing stuff. After he gets his degree he works a couple of days a week at the local library as an assistant.
Related, finally stopping hunting gave him time to really catch up with and assess his body, and a lot of the weight and wear and tear of what he'd been through hit him quite suddenly. He has chronic fatigue issues in particular for the rest of his life which is why part-time work ends up being the best solution for him. Although Amelia, and DJ when he's a teenager, do still frequently have to sit him down and force him to stop trying to do too much at once.
Amelia passes away before Sam. She had been dead for about 5 years by the time Sam died.
Sam keeps very little contact with the hunting world, but Jody does still come to visit. DJ is very fond of her, much to Sam's delight.
The first time Sam had to look after DJ on his own after Amelia went back to work full time and was working a nightshift he was stuck to him like glue, Amelia came home to find him curled up on the floor asleep right next to DJs cot.
Sam loves helping DJ with his homework, and DJ loves it too - its their special time together, and its when Sam is able to be most emotionally open and present.
Sam's issues with food never go away, and its one thing he and Amelia do get into fights over is Sam (unintentionally) putting some of his issues on DJ (think Sam telling Jack he shouldn't eat sugary cereal).
Sam and Amelia both discover a love of gardening and they spend a lot of their free time together working on their garden. Amelia particularly loves roses and has a little rose garden that becomes their little sanctuary (Amelia's ashes are buried there). Sam creates a little healing herbs garden, he doesn't actively practice witchcraft but he likes to make little tinctures and teas and stuff.
I'll stop there lol
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