#i just want to see more queer relationships done this way
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@egregiousderp #especially since you can find writings of early modern and medival european men writing about the pros of being friends with your wife#they have no concept of romance just friendship and carnal desire#if you actually like your wife shes your best friend#so its culture!#<-absolxguardian’s prev tags#I CAN COMMENT ON THIS ACTUALLY!#because marriage wasn’t so much about sexual desire as it was about the duty of procreation and lineage for a lot of nobler houses?#it’s more tied in with the idea of status or duty!#you see that especially well in some of the chivalry movements#wanting to have sex with someone was almost completely divorced from the idea of proper marriage#seducing a guy you like so he has to ‘do the right thing’ and make your child legitimate was a thing#we have a very different view of sex and marriage post-birth control pill is my theory at least#it’s still super odd as an ace person seeing these people who don’t even LIKE their spouses as people but are so horny for them they marry
You're exactly right. My tags were just about one aspect of this different system, not differentiating between friendship and feelings of emotional affection towards your spouse/sex partner (romance). This isn't even getting into marriage, which was a thing that could be separate from both sexual attraction and friendship/romance. The idea that the birth control pill caused a major sea change is commonly accepted historiography (as well as easier to use condoms and for a period of time before HIV emerged cures for all STDs). A lot of our contemporary sex negative ideas are out-dated good advice when sex could be very dangerous (of course these ideas have forgotten their purpose. They become self justifying with their own value judgements, instead of practical advice about pregnancy being dangerous and new people causing complications).
Another thing that has occured to me since writing those tags is the idea that some contemporary historians have, deeming very close friendships between 17th and 18th century as "romantic friendships" (and thus sexless). This is done in a very no-homoing way, but considering this a way to make their relationship not queer is asexual erasure. But on the other hand, these relationships weren't considered deviant or even all that close to sodomy in their own time periods. But if their culture can be seen as not differentiating between romance and friendship, then what?
I'd put my guess for the emergence of romance as a concept in Europe as with the movement- romanticism- it takes its name from. But I don't feel like I know enough to confidently present this as a thesis, and I haven't been able to find an actual acadmic paper saying the same thing. Potentially you could say that courtly love is the first instance of romance in Europe, but you could also classify it as being about sexual tension and unconsummated sexual relationships. They did consider what they did dancing around the line, in a time when you weren't required to like your spouse. (And this is just Europe, but I know very little about this kind of intellectual history elsewhere, since I can only read stuff that has been translated into English).
I'm currently in a philosphy of sex and love class, and after four weeks I have no more insight into what romantic love is. But most of the texts we've read have been about figuring out a definition for love in general. The only guy who put forth an idea about romance specifically, has a definition that is incompatible with polyamory. But I am writing this right before doing the readings for our upcoming week that is focused on polyamory, so maybe I'll have more to say in two hours.
[guy who is aromantic voice] sexual attraction just makes more sense than romantic attraction. like ok, you want to fuck someone. this is quantifiable. it is quite easy to grasp what "i want to fuck someone" looks like, even if you have no idea what it feels like. romantic attraction, though? this is a nebulous construct which seems to largely be "glorified friendship with sex" in the popular imagination. what even is the difference between friendship and romance? the line between friendship and sexual attraction, though both can coexist, is that when there's sexual attraction present, you want to fuck someone. the line between friendship and romantic attraction, so far as i can perceive it within a heteronormative, amatonormative framework, is that it is... friendship where you want to fuck someone. what?
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people be like "but there's so many queer couples on tv now why do you need them to get together?"
I'm after slow burn damn it
I want to see a couple with great chemistry who are just friends, or barely friends in season one, there's no,t even close to being a couple
I want season two to roll around and they're in situations where we can see their chemistry but we're still like damn, I don't know if they'll ever get the chance to get together
I want season three to give me breadcrumbs, make them really mean something to one another, anchor them together but still it's not romantic, but there's looks and moments and god they would be so good for each other
THEN I want season four to be theirs, is there something more between them? Is this really happening I can't believe it? And BAM there's a moment it all comes together and tension finally brims over and no one can deny it anymore
I don't want "here they are will they won't they" from S1E1, I want bones level slow burn, castle level build up, but make it gay
#early 2000s shows knew how to slow burn#i just want to see more queer relationships done this way#it's just so so satisfying when they finally get together#just me? okay#buddie#911
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No offense but trans-masc/trans-man headcanons about Arya are so incorrect, I'm sorry. I can't even take them seriously considering this fandom's desire to separate Arya from girlhood/womanhood. I would love it if people would stop trying to divorce female characters (and real women) from their identities as women just because they aren't traditionally feminine.
If we're talking about actual good-faith interpretations, ones that actually work with how Arya is written, then trans-femme is a much better fit. Arya has never had the desire to be a boy or be seen as one, she is fiercely insistent on her identity as a girl and corrects people several times, she doesn't consider herself a "real" Lady because she's not one in the same way her mother and sister are (!!!), she has self-esteem issues from her looks and ability to perform feminine tasks, she actually spends time pretending to be a boy but never considers herself one or enjoys doing it, as time progresses she loses the ability to pass as a boy (!!!), etc. Look at the material!! There's so much there to discuss from that perspective! Arya's non-conformity and how that fits into a society with such strict gender norms is fascinating and there's a lot to discuss there, but calling her trans-masc is one of the laziest interpretations to come up with.
#arya stark#asoiaf#It's wild cause I literally never see any other character separated from their gender identity like Arya is#Arya isn't even our most non-conforming character (female or otherwise) and yet it feels like she gets singled out for this treatment#probably because characters like Brienne + Asha + Sam are more associated with romance than her and as progressive as people claim to be#they aren't actually interested in queer identities + relationships and their larger implications go figure 🙄#her feelings about being a Lady are so intertwined with society's (misogynistic) expectations like ughhh it's such a well-done conflict#I just wish people weren't such illiterate clowns about it#Arya doesn't like sewing or wearing dresses and wants to be more than a housewife and people go /this is a man/ :/#it's like seeing people portray Arya with darker skin than her siblings...the way this fandom acts I know it's not being down in good faith#can it be done sincerely by people interested in exploring queer subtext? 100% is it often done so? almost never#no hate to people who genuinely make these headcanons this is for the people who hate viewing Arya as the girl she actually is#justice for trans-femme!Arya cause it works so much better then any other identity people force on her#though it is hilarious to me that people act like complicated feelings towards gender are impossible for cis people to have lol
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Why I Love Hanamusa
I get this question very frequently but have never given a really in depth, definitive answer. All just kinda implied through my comics and spread out asks. So here's this I guess! Long post ahead:
First, as a Pokémon fan in her mid 20s, I love seeing a ship where the characters are both in their mid/late 20s. Already, they’re much more relatable to me and my current experiences. Most Pokémon ships are between preteens, which can be cute but ultimately don’t interest me as much as they used to when I was a kid myself. Not enough to get super invested in and draw a lot of fanart for anyways haha.
I’ll also start by saying that canon doesn’t always influence whether or not I’ll ship something. I’m much more drawn to potential. Could the characters work together? Do their personalities work together in a nice way? I feel like this so much of fanon is anyways. Especially with queer relationships because they’re rarely depicted in the first place. A lot of the context for these ships is usually up to the fans to piece together or make up in general. And that’s the fun part to me!
Jessie and Delia have only met in the anime a handful of times. Any interaction they’ve had has either been pleasant, or just a typical Team Rocket interaction, with Delia dismissing them/not seeing them as a threat. Already a great jumping off point for me since, truly, they don’t have any actual beef or true, ill feelings towards each other. It’s not TOO out of the realm of possibility for them to potentially fall for each other. “But Jessie chased Delia’s son around trying to steal his Pokémon!” That’s where that dismissive and aloof attitude that Delia has comes into play. I’ll go more into Delia’s whole deal a bit later but I do think this aspect of her personality is a large reason why this ship can work. It’s not that she doesn’t care that Jessie has a bad past, but she can tell that, on the inside, Jessie’s a good person. And, in a scenario where Jessie is trying to become a better person, is forgiving enough to give her a shot. I feel like this is such a solid foundation for a ship. A character who has done wrong but is trying to be better and another character who is willing to help them be better. A classic dynamic!
It’s not just one-sided though; where Jessie is the only one benefitting and learning from the relationship. I believe Delia could get a lot out of being with someone like Jessie. To understand why, I think it’s important to know these characters’ respective backstories.
Jessie is an orphan/foster child who grew up in poverty. Her mother Miyamoto (from The Birth of Mewtwo) was a Team Rocket operative herself, who went on a mission to find Mew. In order to do this, she had to leave Jessie when she was just a toddler. Unfortunately, Miyamoto went MIA on her mission leaving Jessie to more or less fend for herself. Jessie went through life with zero stability, evident by her MANY different careers and constant moving around. It’s implied in the show that she went from foster home to foster home, and later in life tried being an idol, weather girl, florist, wine connoisseur, actress, most notably a nurse and finally a Team Rocket field agent. And even while in Team Rocket, she, James and Meowth were always doing odd jobs to get by. We see that Jessie used to be a sweet kid, and even adult, but the world and her circumstances repeatedly did her dirty, leading her to become the character we know today. Hot tempered, mean, selfish, etc. But despite this, her soft side does still shine through for the people and Pokémon she cares about. She is incredibly loyal.
Delia, unbeknownst to a lot of fans, also had a rough past (see Pocket Monsters: The Animation). Like Jessie, she had a lot of dreams and aspirations like wanting to be a model and even a trainer. But when she was 10, her mother didn’t let her, telling her that she had to stay home and learn to run the family restaurant (she’s an only child). Delia’s father left her and her mother to be a trainer, and never returned. When she was 18, she married Ash’s father and became pregnant shortly after. But right after Ash was born, he also set off to be a Pokémon trainer. And soon after that, her mother passed away, leaving Delia with just the restaurant and baby Ash. This gives so much context to Delia’s attitude in the show. We see that Delia is pained whenever Ash leaves on a journey, but she never shows that pain to anyone. ESPECIALLY Ash. She’s very quick to shoo him off when he shows any sign of wanting to go on another journey and even when he returns home, she acts more excited to see Pikachu than him almost every time. Without all this backstory, it’s easy to just read this as a funny gag, BUT with context, I think it really shows how quickly Delia shuts down and detaches in order to not confront her own feelings. She’s afraid of losing people and getting hurt again.
All that said, I think Jessie and Delia provide each other with EXACTLY what the other needs.
Aside from becoming rich and famous, Jessie’s biggest aspiration is to get married. In my opinion, this is more so an underlying want for love and stability. There is no one more stable in the show than Delia. Delia’s lived in Pallet her whole life, she’s worked at the same restaurant since she was young and she is always there when Ash comes back home. She has all the love, patience and stability Jessie needs and craves. While forgiving, Delia’s not stupid and can keep Jessie in check. Delia’s also just an angel, which I feel, would make Jessie want to be better. And on top of all this, on more of a surface level, Delia’s a chef and excellent cook. She shows love through cooking and Jessie, who grew up poor, regularly starving and eating snow, happily receives that love. Jessie’s able to live a happy and healthy life with someone like Delia.
Delia, as stated, is very stable. Likely pretty monotonous and solitary, especially living in such a small town like Pallet. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s a little sad when you consider that Delia also had dreams of traveling, being a model and a trainer. She had to give up so many dreams in order to fulfill her duties as a restaurant owner and mother. And even now, when Ash is off on his journey, she feels the need to always be home and be that stable pillar, leaving behind any ambitions she had, thinking it’s too late for her (she’s only 29 btw). But then along comes Jessie, dangerous, passionate, an absolute firecracker. Someone who’s whole life has been about chasing dreams and either, never giving up on them or finding a new dream to chase. Upon learning about Delia’s past aspirations, I could see Jessie pushing her towards them, letting her know that life’s too short and she has nothing to lose from trying. On top of this, Jessie’s also loyal. She, James and Meowth are depicted as doing anything for anyone who gives them food or shows them kindness. Delia does both so there’s no way Jessie would leave her. This fulfills an essential need for Delia, who is afraid of the people in her life leaving her.
There’s so much potential for mutual growth and learning between these two and I adore that. They compliment each other, they help each other and they bring out the best qualities in one another.
I’m not really sure how to end this and I could truly talk about them even more but I don’t want this to be tooooo long haha. OH I could end it with maybe the most funny aspect of this ship that I've brushed over and also what drew me to it in the first place. Jessie. As Ash’s stepmom. THE END.
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I'm going to sprinkle in some rare positivity about my life, and about my transition.
One of my major barriers to transition was worrying about its difficulty. Terrified of medication, terrified of transphobia, terrified of legality, terrified of social repercussions.
I often heard a sentiment repeated: transition is the most difficult thing I've ever done. It's still worth it.
That's.... true, to some extent. But in a pretransition depressed haze, it didn't help. I couldn't imagine something that difficult ever being worth it. I couldn't imagine the peace and happiness it would bring me.
Now, looking back, I feel like I disagree in a lot of ways. Yeah, sure, on paper, a lot of things are more difficult. I have to deal with more paperwork, I have to make contigency plans on top of contingency plans for legal trouble, I've dealt with transphobia both behind my back and to my face. I've lost friends. I've had instances of harassment.
But in practice? My life overall is easier.
It's easier to get up in the morning.
It's easier to make new friends, and even moreso than that, deepen my relationship with old friends. My friendship with women in my life in particular has grown.
It's easy to be in a relationship, to feel romance, to court and be courted.
It's easier to set barriers and stand up for myself.
It's easier to dress and feel at home in my body.
It's easier to exercise, to maintain hygiene, to take pride in my appearance.
It's easier to do things I enjoy.
I'm no longer content to just roll though life barely existing. I want to live. And its so much easier to do that now. I was exerting so much effort every day just to pull myself together and become a shambling shell of a person. That's mostly gone now.
With the government being like it is, I'm worried about the closeted trans people who are now scared. It's okay to be. It's scary. And yeah, new things will be difficult that weren't before.
But my baseline existence is easier, and I'm more equipped to fight the things that difficult than I ever was before.
I know I haven't been the most optimistic, but remember to share your queer joy as well. It makes the world brighter for all of us.
I love you. I love everyone under the rainbow. Stay here and add your thread to the tapestry, I want to see its colors.
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I find Sarcastic Chorus's video on why he's quitting Helluva Boss really interesting but I'm kind of baffled by the number of people straight up not understanding his reasoning for quitting. I think it's interesting how both his video and the online reaction to it is basically the consequences of modern fandoms treating art like its something to mindlessly consume and not worth analyzing and critiqing, or else you're consuming it "wrong".
Like his argument isn't that he hates the show or that he was forcing himself to criticize the show, in fact one of his main problems was that he couldn't be MORE honest in his reviews because of how fans would react to it. The problem was that when your job is to analyze a show, and it has way too many problems to ignore, and you're dealing with a hyper-sensitive fanbase that's hostile to criticism, you end up feeling exhausted or flat out disinterested in reviewing it.
I actually find it really concerning that fans are coping so hard with him quitting that they're framing it like its his problem because he was "looking for problems on purpose" when it was pretty obvious that it genuinely makes him kind of miserable trying to pick apart the show's issues. I remember when he was SO confident that Hazbin Hotel would be amazing and "prove the haters wrong" only for him to acknowledge that it was a complete mess. I'm honestly more confused by the fans who watch a reviewer and then get mad when he... reviews things. It's not even that they disagree with him, but the audacity to even point out very noticeable flaws in the product is enough to set them off and accuse him of being a clout chaser and a hater. Like do you want to see a review or did you just want to watch someone lie to you and blindly praise a series for 30 minutes, because i find it really odd that so many fans are insistent that he should've done the latter.
I also got pretty annoyed by this insistence that he wouldn't have turned on this show if he didnt criticize it and "turned his brain off" instead which is the same stupid excuse people gave for Hazbin's sloppy writing. and I just find that just... baffling? Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, as extremely flawed as they are, are clearly shows made with the clear intention of being taken seriously. Ffs the crew calls Helluva Boss "queer Bojack Horseman". Helluva Boss tackles topics like abuse, trauma, classism, racism, toxic relationships and redemption and Hazbin Hotel tackles themes like sexual trauma and abuse, redemption and religious oppression. But the problem is that both shows do it so poorly that people genuinely think that it's meant to be slop content that you're just supposed to turn your brain off and listen to.
I'm not going to forget when these fans were treating Helluva Boss's season 1 like peak queer representation and writing and insistent that Angel Dust was this amazingly well written gay male character that people only hated because he was messy and imperfect. Honestly kind of funny that I was chastised for saying that Angel Dust is just a sex joke only for the show, the crew, the merch, and even the damn playbill reduce him to just that. Slapping on trauma (especially knowing that its more of a fetish than a genuine exploration on male sexual abuse) doesn't really negate the fact that Angel Dust is poorly written. Side note: his fans are way too unhinged and aggressive, its getting very weird.
So its funny to me that now that Helluva Boss season 2 completely nose dived and Hazbin Hotel is a sloppy mess that feels more geared for children than adults, that now people are being told they're not allowed to analyze these shows or even pay attention to their problems, and are treated like idiots for doing so.
I think the problem is that I kind of think fans also notice the lowered quality of writing in both shows. because why aren't people actually defending the writing and character progression? instead of "Sarcastic Chorus is wrong because his criticism is incorrect and misses these points" its "Sarcastic Chorus is wrong because he should have shut his brain off and treated these shows like its cocomelon for adults"
#txt#deeply fascinating fandom. lol if i had a fanbase treat my tv show like this id be so annoyed#imagine doing all that hard work and effort only for your fans to be like 'oh no guys its bad on PURPOSE youre not supposed to analyze it!'
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micelli's date nightmare (ver 2.5)
this is part meta, part fic, an alternate micelli's date from 8x6. word count: 2.7k
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"that was kind of weird."
"no it wasn't. you're hot, so is she. it's okay to look."
"yeah, right, and i noticed you didn't."
"i'm a kinsey 6," tommy says, kind of incredulous.
"i'm not sure what that means?" buck asks, as the audience surrogate.
and that's a problem, because in-universe buck is no longer the whole audience's surrogate. now he's a man who discovered his queerness later in life; he's a man in a queer relationship with another man; he's someone who celebrates a six-month anniversary out in public with his male partner. there's people in the audience who can see and celebrate parts of that journey with buck, who have been there or see how they can get there in their own exploring, but that's a road that not a lot of people have gone down or ever will. he doesn't belong to the general audience anymore, but the show needed him to still be the surrogate because we as the audience know buck.
but it's been six months and the audience needs to catch up on What It Means To Be Queer. so we get... "i'm not sure what that means?"
buuuuuuuuuuuut what if.
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buck takes the picture for that girl and her friends, gets all weird because he could be perceived to be flirting with a woman while on a date (his gay anniversary dinner with a gay man who is his gay boyfriend). despite his awkwardness, she doesn't quite get that the big dude waiting for him is his date, his boyfriend. she's hot, he's awkward and hot, whatever.
so maybe she follows buck back to his table because she doesn't read them as being on a date! maybe he's a guy who doesn't want to ditch his buddy and like, it's micelli's!!! everyone's having fun, one of her friends really likes big guys, this could totally be something tonight!!
"thanks again for taking the picture for us," photo lady says as she comes back to the table with buck. she pauses and addresses both buck and tommy:
"um, so we're actually celebrating our friend getting a promotion at work. it's just us girls right now, but would you guys want to join us?"
maybe buck starts blushing because aaaahhh a lady hitting on him AND tommy, whaaaaat does he saaaaay
but tommy's like, "we'd love to… some other time, but, haha, i'm gay, like kinsey 6 gay, and he's…"
it takes a second, but buck manages: "uh!! his date!!"
"his date to our anniversary dinner," tommy corrects (dryly)
"and i'm still working my way around my number!! kinsey number. it's just for fun."
"oh! omg, congratulations!! and, uh. what's… what scale is that?"
tommy says, cutely, "where you fall on a range of heterosexual and homosexual desire. it's just for fun."
"ooh i'm gonna look that up, it sounds fun! okay, have a good night, guys, and congrats again!!!"
she leaves, their date continues, but buck's uncomfortable. "wow, haha, you just. told her we were on a date."
"you told her we were on a date," tommy says. "i told her we were here for our anniversary. was that a problem?"
"no, just."
"because we're in a restaurant for our anniversary."
"right, but. we're not like, being loud about it."
big fake tommy pout. "you didn't call ahead and tell them? they're not gonna bring us a cake with a giant dick on it, with little sixes for each testicle, and sing something from the village people? it's been so long since i heard macho man in public."
and haha very funny and buck is smiling but he's more uncomfortable than he's smiling. "i just didn't think of it, that's all."
"... which part? the giant dick cake, or the part where i told a stranger that we were on a date?" pause. "did you not want me to tell her?"
"no, uh, it's not that. or maybe it is that. i don't know." buck thinks. "i haven't done it before, you know? like, no one's ever asked."
now tommy's a little guarded. "yeah. you've been passing. you're still butch little buck to the world."
"and you pass, too! like, you're really… you know."
tommy nods. (maybe he kinda wants to jab at buck because he can't say the word masculine or butch or even say he's on a date with a man, but he doesn't.)
"it's funny but i think i don't," tommy says. "maybe it's the paranoia, internalized homophobia, toxic masculinity in the army and the 118 but… i've always felt like i stick out like a sore thumb. i've always felt like people know."
"they really don't, i promise."
tommy tilts his head. "how do you know?"
"i mean… well, okay, i did… tell eddie you were gay."
"what, recently? he didn't notice the couple of dozen times i've called you my boyfriend in the last six months? or the other way around?"
"no, way at the beginning after our last first date. i said something like, you don't hide it but you don't advertise it. he didn't know."
"and you think eddie is everyone?" tommy lets out a big breath. "well, he's not. you're both very adorable and very dense, mr. i didn't know he was jealous until he sprained my ankle and mr. i didn't know i had a crush until i sprained his ankle. other people, they might notice."
buck motions over his shoulder. "they didn't notice. they didn't know until you told them."
"one of them didn't." pause. "is it a problem that i told them?"
"... no, no of course not."
tommy's eyebrows go up. "so now those five women in the los angeles area know you like to fuck men. now what?"
"a man. i like you."
"right. you like me and you like to fuck me."
takes buck a minute to say, "right… well, it's not always…"
tommy laughs. "i meant categorically. kinsey 1? you think i'm your one and done?"
"i don't care about the scale, i care about you."
"it's not about the scale, buddy."
suddenly, perfect timing, a giant plate of spumoni arrives at their table. "from the ladies," the waiter says. there's a piece of paper to go with it that the waiter hands to tommy.
(is this the hot waiter? maybe he hands the paper to tommy and they share a look that buck doesn't like. there's lingering eye contact and it feels weirdly knowing even though they're strangers. probably strangers. does tommy know him? maybe the waiter's gay, too, and maybe he and tommy have hooked up? but tommy would have said something, or will say something. now tommy's unfolding the paper and definitely looking at the waiter's ass as he walks away. it's all A Lot and buck's upset, even as he remembers "it's okay to look."
(but does that apply to tommy, who knows he's gay? because he thought tommy meant it like, it's okay for buck to keep looking at women or still sometimes look at women because he's new to this. but tommy still looks at men even when he's with buck? that's—well okay of course he does, tommy knows what he likes, buck isn't dumb, or so cocky that he thinks he's the only guy tommy ever wants to look at again. tommy likes men. he's gonna look at men, and buck is gonna see him look at men sometimes.
(does anyone else see it, when tommy checks out men?)
"the note's from them?" buck turns around and the girls wave at them. buck weakly gives a thumbs up and turns back to tommy, who's cracking up at the note. he hands it to buck:
sorry for hitting on you during your anniversary date!!! the spumoni here is SO GOOD! also: rachel b. (that's me!!): 2 (does my sister's bachelorette party count?) cindy: 4 (seven sisters school haha) patricia: 00000000 (boring! sorry! and you guys are so hot!!! please reconsider? jk!!!) rachel s.: 5 (i thought i was the token gay and here's CINDY) sarah (recently a divorcée): 1 but that number is going UP happy anniversary!!!!!
"oh, wow," buck says. "that's a lot of information."
tommy gets up and heads over to the women, crouches at their table. buck turns around and watches the way he makes them laugh, the way one of them touches his arm, the little glances they throw buck's way—it's different. it's different from the way tommy was acting with him here. he's louder and… gayer. hands way more… out there. lots of head tilts. one of the women from the other side of the table gets up and hugs tommy tight, and they all call out byeeeeeeeeeee tommyyyyyyy as he comes back. he's turning bright red as he sits with buck again. heads around the restaurant turn towards them and buck feels frozen on the spot.
tommy looks happy, then disappointed. "was that too much?"
"too much what?"
tommy raises his eyebrows.
"you keep doing that, like—"
"did i queen it up too much for you?"
"no i just… didn't know you were like that. or could be, sometimes."
tommy looks like he's about to say something bitchy, but then he puts it away. "that's what i mean. sometimes i'm obvious, even if you can't see it."
"i mean, that was obvious. you just put on a show for everyone."
tommy laughs, shocked surprise, and kind of angry. "and does that upset you?"
"no, of course not!" buck pauses. "did you know that waiter?"
"the waiter?"
"yeah, you were like, looking at him, and you checked him out."
"and? you checked rachel b. out when she was here and i didn't say anything. i said it was okay to look. which of these things is a problem?"
buck checks himself. he doesn't really know what he's mad about, or if he's even mad. he's just uncomfortable. everything feels uncomfortable and weird, and like everyone's looking at him. that waiter knows something about tommy, those girls like tommy more than they like him, and why wouldn't they? tommy was so cool and easy with them, and buck's all weird and awkward with everyone, and their anniversary dinner kind of sucks now.
"are you okay?" tommy asks. "are you gonna make me eat this whole plate of spumoni by myself?" he pauses. "are you jealous of that waiter?"
"i don't know." buck sits back and sulks. "i hate this place. i don't know why we keep coming here."
"well, the pizza's pretty good, this spumoni is great, and the last time we were here, you told eddie we were gonna pick up some hot chicks after we saw our movie." tommy's foot nudges buck's under the table; buck startles. "you move on from that at all? you still wanna go pick up hot chicks? there's five right over your shoulder. they're thinking of hitting up rachel s.'s favorite lesbian bar. they even asked if we wanted to come with them."
buck looks panicked. "did you say yes?" suddenly he remembers himself. "sorry, sorry, i mean—like, women i've dated talk about it all the time, you know, going to gay bars so they don't get hit on."
tommy nods, then leans in: "but they're going to a lesbian bar so they do get hit on." tommy leans back and says, "which is pretty funny."
"is it?"
"isn't it?"
"like…" buck doesn't even know what he wants to say. he doesn't really—he can't picture, exactly, what bothers him. "like what if they do meet someone, you know? some nice lady? and they make out or hook up and then one of them is like, actually sorry this was fun but—"
"so what?" tommy's eyebrows are climbing into his hair again. "you've never hooked up at a bar or club and done that? sorry, this was fun…"
"but they…"
"they need to take it more seriously?"
"yeah. yes. exactly. it's serious business!! it's not just walking into some bar and making out with a—being a woman and making out with a woman and maybe that's your whole thing now, or it's not your thing and—and what if she gets hurt, you know?"
"the hypothetical dyke that will instantly fall in love with one of the kinsey zeros through four and have her heart broken?"
"stop making fun of me, i'm serious."
"i can tell but i don't know what you're serious about." tommy adjusts his chair, sits up straight, but buck notices how he pulls his chair back a little, like he's making more space. space to leave? is he gonna get up and leave because buck is doing too much, or saying the wrong things, or being weird about women, or thinking about women, or not—
"it's really funny, actually," tommy says. "that hypothetical lesbian bar romance is the most i've seen you engage with like, anything gay besides getting your dick in my mouth."
"jesus, tommy, we're in public." buck doesn't even realize he's said something weird until he sees how tommy has gone so quiet and still. "i care about stuff. i engage."
"really? you didn't go to pride."
"i was working, so were you."
"i would have traded shifts if you wanted to go."
buck's uncomfortable again. "did i have to go?"
"of course not, but did you want to go? have you gone before?"
"of course i have," buck says, but he's not sure. he's usually working, and sometimes they get calls to handle something during pride but it's rarely anything weird: dehydration, party drugs gone wrong or too far. they're usually in and out before buck can get much pride done.
"i'm working, usually," buck admits. "but if you wanted to go…"
"it's not really my scene, either, but you didn't feel like… any kind of call? any kind of curiosity? what it would be like to take the day off, go to pride, be there with a boyfriend? like you'd be out there in your little shorts—"
"i don't own little shorts."
tommy smiles and he looks kind of mean, like he got a cheap shot at his expense except buck doesn't get it.
"what? i don't! they make my thighs look too big."
"alright, forget that. but the rest of it. you didn't want to be out with other gay people, showing off your boyfriend, getting shown off by your boyfriend? because i would have." tommy suddenly goes still again. "i would have shown you off."
a real gut punch. "tommy, i didn't know you wanted to go."
"i didn't know how much you didn't want to go."
"it just… it doesn't feel like it's for me! i didn't…"
tommy waits. buck waits.
"are you bisexual?" tommy asks. "pansexual? both? neither? queer? straight?"
defensively: "i'm not straight, i have a boyfriend."
"and that makes you…"
buck pauses. "i don't know." he looks at tommy, who looks worried.
"do you want to know?"
pause. "i guess i have to."
"you don't have to do anything, but it bugs me that you have a boyfriend and that's all you care about. it bothers me that it's been six months and you've never thought about all the times we've been clocked in public. being seen like that didn't bother you? or did you not notice?"
buck flinches. apparently the latter. "we have?"
"yes, evan. every coffee place or restaurant or bar with a little rainbow outside, and even the ones that don't. two guys head in together, standing close together, flirting with each other—"
"that doesn't mean…" buck hears himself.
"what? maybe it doesn't mean we're there to check out the glory hole in the back, but it means we're probably a couple. does that bother you? i mean, it clearly does, but did you even realize until now that it bothered you?"
"no! it didn't bother me because it wasn't a big deal. you're making it a big deal. why can't we just go out and have fun? now i have to go around and count how many people think we're gay, or if people even notice, or if i'm being weird and making it obvious i'm with you, or…"
"and, six months late, welcome to my life," tommy says. "seriously, do you want any of this spumoni or what?"
#911 meta#911 au#911 headcanons#bucktommy#bucktommy headcanons#queer stuff#my writing#thinking some thoughts#yes the ladies at micelli's are originally there to celebrate one of their divorces but this is an au
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I just talked about why people should be engaging critically with entertainment media and specifically getting used to identifying specific patterns or rhetoric, so here is a very non-exhaustive list of things that I see (including in ostensibly progressive entertainment media spaces like fandom or queer books):
Framing representative democracy as bad, especially when contrasted with non-democratic/autocratic or anocratic rule (e.g., "good things can get done when there's just someone smart with all the power who can force decisions through without having to debate all the time")
Benevolent dictators / benevolent autocrats (e.g., "They're such a kind and intelligent ruler, so it's good that they have absolute decision making authority")
Blaming newcomers / immigrants for the degredation of traditions (e.g., "It's not that we don't want them here, it's just that they keep trying to change things instead of learning the ways we do things")
Imperialism as a means to "fix" or "improve" other societies (e.g., "they oppress women, so invading them, deposing their goverment, and adding them to the empire is good because it will help women")
Equating gender with body parts (e.g., "secondary gender" to indicate alpha / beta / omega in the omegaverse)
Equating body parts with personality traits (e.g., alphas being inherently more aggressive and omegas being inherently more submissive in the omegaverse)
Equating sexuality with personality traits (e.g., all asexual characters being shy or quiet)
Equating sexuality with gender (e.g., all asexual characters being female or non-binary)
Lack of accounting for women or queer people in worldbuilding (e.g., "that magical species just doesn't have gay people")
Regularly having Jewish characters celebrate Christmas
Excusing abusive behavior with a bad or sad backstory (e.g., "how could he help being fascist, he was bullied as a child")
Women (except for the FMC and possibly a friend) being uniformly catty, cruel, power-hungry, man-obsessed, and/or promiscuous adulterers
Black characters only existing to support white characters
Black female characters being presented as being too strong and independent to want or need a romantic relationship, especially while white female characters have happy and fulfilling romantic relationships
Associating low empathy with violent inclinations or behavior (e.g., "he just didn't feel empathy for anyone, and that's why he became a serial killer")
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finally talked my wife into watching 8x06 "confessions" with me and WOW there's quite a lot going on in this breakup scene in buck's apartment (and the infamous glee scene for that matter) that I haven't seen discussed much on this website (though maybe I'm just not finding it?) like this show is always yelling the themes in your face but...
first of all I think it's somewhat intentional that Buck is being written as kind of regressing. So far in the show, he's gotten his confidence in romantic relationships by fulfilling the role with the person that he thinks he should fulfill. with Abby, Buck had just learned about serious adult romantic relationships and how they work and was trying to Be A Partner in a complete speed run. But he learned that no amount of devotion is a substitute for functionality. with Taylor, he was trying to Be A Functional Partner - and he learned that being a partner Has To involve trust, and that trust comes from somewhere else other than just our actions - it has to come from our hearts.
Tommy is the first person he's ever dated where he doesn't know what the next steps are and that's because this isn't something he has a blueprint for - being a Partner and a Functional Partner for somebody who sees right through him and sees exactly what he's trying to do, to make Tommy never leave. Abby was completely clueless (sorry I really dislike Abby) and Taylor didn't realize that an adult man could behave so badly without utter malice in his heart. Both of them kind of make the mistake of being vulnerable to Buck's charms.
Tommy is of course vulnerable to Buck's charms but Buck is more transparently himself with Tommy as well - and what Tommy sees, then, is a person who is deeply insecure and may be trending in the right direction but ultimately still thinks there's a lever he can pull to make Tommy stay and never leave him. He doesn't know that he's not done cooking yet because every new thing he learns about the world or others makes him feel brand fucking new.
So yes, the glee scene:
Josh was absolutely gagged that Tommy was Abby's ex fiance
Buck's first instinct is to see the situation from Abby's side and go into protective mode which is adorably loyal to be fair but also like ; get a grip
I actually love Josh's framing of "you care about this person and if you want a future in a queer relationship you need to learn that we don't all come to this the same way"
Did they need a cultural reference? No. Were they going to self referentially congratulate Ryan Murphy for inflicting it on the world? Yes.
And regarding the breakup itself:
What is wrong with this fandom's sense of humor that I haven't seen a gif of "I'm the himbo" ??? Like yes babe u sure are come here
Buck is really working so hard in this scene to make sure Tommy knows that he's serious. He's like... this freaked me out but I've decided I'm cool with it. She changed my life but not like you !!!
Like bless his heart, Buck thought he was really doing the right thing by telling Tommy about Abby BEFORE ASKING HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. like MY CARDS ARE ON THE TABLE??? SEE??? LOVE ME FOREVER !! it's adorable and it's also cringe as fuck.
I think the real sin of the writing here is making Buck so completely clueless that this is the wrong move. Like he's kind of an idiot (Eddie Diaz's words not mine) but moving in with someone after dating them for six months in your 30s is WILD behavior and I don't think even Evan Buckley would fail to realize that this is a bit much in this moment.
But idk being in love makes one do stupid things? I did all of my messy bitch relationship shit before I turned 30 but I guess it is buck we are talking about
I completely understand why Tommy reacts the way he does in this scene and bless Lou Ferrigno Jr for acting it with such nuance, much more depth than the scene frankly deserves. What a heartbreaker. Like you see him tense up at Buck's request
"I'm not saying let's get married or engaged, even though we would have the right, thanks to the brave people who came before, including you." such an insane thing to say to your boyfriend. Whoever approved this script was trying to take me out like with a gun.
You then see the absolute grief in Tommy's eyes like oh god this kid is killing me. He's so sweet. He's so cute. He doesn't get it. I love him. He doesn't get it.
As an aside, Eddie being stalked in the juice bar by the hot priest was absolutely incredible.
I didn't hate this episode but wow the writing does suck shit, however I fully believe it makes sense for them to break up here and get back together in the future ??? because Buck DOES have some shit to figure out. Like moving in with someone is a lot of fucking intimacy REALLY fast and baby boy sometimes you NEED to pump the brakes a little ESPECIALLY when you think someone might be THE ONE and you just figured out you like guys six months ago.
I get it and yeah the writing is tragic and the inclusion of Abby in general is just unhinged and unnecessary but like I don't hate the broad strokes here. how else does the blorbo learn if not by ritual torture by the writers. Lou is too good to not have back though. My god what a treasure.
end bucktommy endgame truther transmission
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im sorry this might not be the place to ask for advice/help but im doomscrolling about the news and the soon to be president and im seeing so much to be scared shitless about, invasions, removal of vaccines, cost of living increases, revoking of trans rights and how it might make it all the more impossible to get the surgeries i wanted... its just too fucking scary to breathe right now what do i do with myself
Hey, Anon. I'm here. A lot of us are here right with you.
It's scary, to be sure. And I'm not going to sugarcoat the possibilities of things going south very quickly. So, let's jump into some survival tactics.
This post on burnout is a great place to start. There is a lot of overlap with burnout and the anxiety you're feeling.
Allow yourself to slow down and unplug. You are allowed to step away from the news cycle -- events out of your control will unfold regardless.
Don't feel guilty by letting yourself relax. I find it especially helpful to do activities that don't involve the internet -- I've been decorating my house, mending broken crockery, and sketching some embroidery ideas. I try to take the time to get dressed and groomed every day, to remind myself that I matter. I spend more time outdoors.
As you find the ability to relax, you'll be able to focus better on the things you can do to be resilient. Things I have been doing to improve myself and make me a better helper:
Staying on top of my medical appointments and any preventive care I can do
Working to be physically healthier overall to mitigate future medical issues
Getting all my paperwork in order, including passports
Tweaking my financial budget
Researching what estate & family documentation needs to be done to protect my relationship in case my marriage gets dissolved
Brushing up on job skills, getting new certifications to stay competitively employable
Stocking up on my medical and general emergency supplies, especially for bad weather events
Getting in the habit of mindful purchases, curbing my habit of impulse shopping
Selling things I don't want or need anymore to have a little extra money and be able to move house easier, if need be
Building a habit of fixing/maintaining my possessions instead of trashing broken things
Canceling online subscriptions and quitting social networks that make me feel in danger
Getting my personal and any queer-related files out of the cloud and onto redundant solid state drives
Downloading / printing out queer resources and buying queer art that may be banned or monitored in the future
Enjoying physical media again and hunting for old favorites
Keeping in touch with queer friends and allies and making plans in case people (even myself) need to flee
Being visible when I can and knowing when it's best to lay low
Allowing myself the luxury to dig into things Old Me would have saved for "special" events -- aka, wearing the nice clothes and eating off the fine china as an everyday thing
Shutting the fuck up, especially online, when I think my words could be used against me
In a way, I am trying to simply become a better version of myself, one who is calm & self-sufficient, mindful about his actions, and available to help those in need. It sucks that the driving factor is fear, but I intend to use that fear as a catalyst to be stronger and survive.
There is a lot to be done, but there was always going to be work, new regime or not. But please, start with that burnout article so you can jump into your own plans with new hope and energy. ❤️
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i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.
but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.
using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?
say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.
and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?
and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.
at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.
but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.
anyway. just my two cents 🫶
#oliver stark#my goal at all times is to never act like a buddie#peace and love#bucktommy#911 abc#send post#911 discourse
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Dead Dove December 2024
Hello everyone! This December I’m hosting a multi-fandom event that I’m calling, Dead Dove December! From 12/01/2024 - 12/31/2024 I’m encouraging others to create something that expresses their deepest and (most importantly) darkest desires. I will be reblogging all pieces of art or fanfiction, and will post a masterlist in January. or whenever i get around to it. i have not even done the pride masterlist bc I'm a disaster! But most importantly this will be for funsies.
I hosted this last year with just oscar/pedro Characters but Logan is my special guy so he's here now too <3
Details below the cut…
What is Dead Dove Do Not Eat?
Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, or DDDNE has its origins in one of my comfort shows!
The phrase comes from a meme referencing the 2003 Arrested Development episode "Top Banana", in which Michael Bluth opens a paper bag labeled "DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT" and, upon discovering that there is a dead dove inside the bag, says, deadpan, "I don't know what I expected." - fanlore.org
In short, what you see in the tags is what you should expect to see in the fic. This can apply for any type of fic, including the fluffy ones, but it’s usually associated with darker themes. That being said, this is your warning that this is a DARK THEMED EVENT. If you aren’t comfortable with darker topics like non-con, excessive violence, blood/gore, death, toxic relationships, 18+ age gaps, and more, then I encourage you not to participate in this event.
How to Participate
For the month of December, post your Dead Dove fanfiction or fan art on your blog. Use the tag #deaddovedecemeber2024 and tag me. You can also send a link via ask or DM if you like! I will not be posting anything for you, just reblogging and linking. At the end of December I will post a masterlist with links to everyone’s works! Side Note - Since Tumblr doesn’t really allow for NSFW art, you can post your work on Twitter or any other site that allows it and just send me that link so I can add it to the masterlist.
Rules
You MUST be 18+ to participate. I will be checking your blog/social media to be sure. Please make sure your age is easy to find. If I find that you’re a minor or if your age isn’t readily present I will be blocking you and you will be unable to participate. You can just add that you are over 18 if you don’t want your age out on the internet. As the creator and promotor of this event, I need to know I’m not interacting with minors given the nature of this event.
The work MUST be dark in some way. There’s no limit to how dark your work needs to be or can be, but it needs to contain some sort of dark theme in order to qualify. If non con isn’t your thing, dub con via stockholm syndrome or brainwash can let you write a more comfortable scene while still remaining dark. Fics and art do not necessarily need to be NSFW. last year a friend even did cnc, where it was seemingly dark but then ended with it was Marc and reader ding a scene. Dark reader or oc is an absolute yes.
Your work MUST have an Oscar Isaac, Hugh Jackman, or Pedro Pascal Character. It can be x reader, x oc,xcanon character, crosoversec. If you want Joel Miller fucking the ghoul from Fallout (or both of them fucking a reader)you can even though Eddie doesn't exist in any Oscar Pedro Hugh content. If you want Marc and Logan to fuck, go nuts. Got a series you're already writing, and wanna submit a dark chapter or a dark Au to it? That's fine too! We're pretty open here. No rpf.
Do NOT post anything before 12/01/2024. I will not count submissions prior to that date or after 12/31/2024. Masterlsit will be posted in January.
Your work MUST contain the proper tags. I won’t police how detailed your tags should be, but, for instance, if your work contains non-con, and you didn’t tag non-con then your work will not qualify. Please be inclusive in your writing where you can, but aware of POC queer and disabled people.
You may submit no more than two (2) pieces. This can include a fanfic and fanart, two fanfics or two fanarts. This is to allow someone to write a piece and make a work of art to accompany it. You can also work with another creator together.
I’m not going to yuck someone’s yum, but there are some things I’m just personally not comfortable with and since I’ll be reading/viewing/promoting all of these, I have a few things not allowed in the event. The list of what’s NOT allowed is shorter than the list of what IS allowed so here’s a list of the things that will NOT be tolerated in this event:
No underage/aged up minor content - To clarify, this includes things popular ships like - TLOU 1 or "Show Ellie" x Joel or Miguel O’Hara X Gwen Stacy. No "ageing up" minors for the purpose of a fic.
No Bestiality - To clarify, monsterfucking does NOT count as bestiality (at least to me). For example, werewolves, venom, Khonshu, e.t.c. are all allowed.
No Real person fanfiction. Can’t include Oscar, Pedro, or Hugh. This is not a moral judgement or me looking down just not in my comfort zone
No incest - To clarify, step-sibling/step-parent relationships are permitted as long as everyone is 18+. Different age of consent in your state or country does not apply here, and frankly I'd prefer 21+ but I know there are younger people than me who write so I'm not gonna say you gotta write like that. Selfcest relationships are also allowed (like Moon Knight or Miguel with his alternate self, e.t.c.).
No necro/snuff. Plain and simple.
I have final say in what I want to promote. Is TLOU 2 Ellie an adult and not technically Joel's ctual kid? Yes. technically it fits all the rules but it gives me the ick so I'm not gonna accept it. I cannot possibly prepare for all scenarios, and i want to just be able to have fun here with yall.
If you’re unsure if something is allowed or not, you can send me a DM or an ask for clarification prior to posting.
You can use any prompts you want or none, you aren’t tied to any one idea but here are some to get the ideas flowing if you need them!
Also, you can absolutely use a fic to inspire your art, or art to inspire a fic! Your inspiration piece, whether yours or someone else’s does not have to be from December, but you MUST obtain permission from the original creator before I promote your work. Most creators are happy when their work inspires others, and all my fics are open to being used for inspiration, but please reach out to the creator first.
I’m very excited! This is my second year hosting this an I've hosted other events by myself or with friends so I'm happy to keep going, this time with Hugh Jackman bc i can't get Logan out of my head.
Dividers and header made by the amazing @melodygatesauthor
Please consider reblogging to spread the word!
I don't reall know many people in the logan/hugh jackman fandom so I'd love if this was an oppritunity to get to know yall too!
Dark prompt list to come, also check out #deaddovedecember2023 to see what last year had!
#deaddovedecember2024#dead dove do not eat#dark joel miller#dark!joel#the last of us hbo#Logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#dddne#dark#dark fanfiction#oscar isaac#pedro pascal#joel miller#moon knight#tlou#jake lockley#triple frontier#dark content#dark!fic#non con#dub con#yandere#dark jake lockley#dark marc specter#dark steven grant#dark santiago garcia#dark francisco morales#dark pero tovar#dark smut#dark duke leto
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had a vision.
Dead Boy Detectives - the core four
I wanted this to be a purely aesthetic post, but in the process of making the gifs I've had some thoughts, so here you go: Seeing the core four's "action shots" all side by side made me realise that they each kind of represent their character's journey as well.
We've got Charles, who is taking back control, hitting back. He acts as the protector he would have needed when he was alive, but also he is defending and protecting someone close to him, no longer helpless in the face of abuse and violence. And his strength comes from a point of defense, not aggression like his father. He's very much not a bad guy, but the literal hero of the shot.
Then there's Edwin running from a WWI soldier and going through the looking glass, jumping from one world to the next, pushing through his own reflection (and how people have bullied and killed him for perceiving him as effeminate and queer) and finding his queerness on the other side, landing on his own two feet, balanced and steady, having found this whole new world of feeling and acceptance on the other side. Edwin, my beloved.
Crystal (aaahhh I could write a thesis on Crystal, honestly) who is being thrown off balance and into limbo, existing between two lives while she is searching for her stolen memories. She's is constantly being pulled in two directions, between her past and her future, between David the demon and the cute ghost distraction, between letting go of toxic relationships and embracing her new found family.
And then Niko, Niko is just ascending.
credit for the Charles gif goes to @mellxncollie
Ok and if you're still reading, here's another thing I noticed while making these "action shot" gifs - both Charles and Edwin are very much agents of these actions in their shots, while things are done to Crystal and Niko. Charles throws and catches the cricket bat, initiating and controlling the action. Edwin jumps through the mirror, he is the one who maneuvers himself through. But Crystal is pushed by David, falls through the floor, off balance and out of control, and she is caught by Charles. And Niko is being lifted up by the sprites who have taken control of her body. I think it's a neat way to show a gendered division within the core four, but also both girls move beyond their initial helplessness/passiveness and become real freaking badasses, while the boys later on get their fair share of having things happen to them instead. And in the season finale it's Crystal and Niko who save our two ghost damsels in distress. I don't know where I'm going with this, it was just something I noticed and I thought you guys might have some more eloquent and coherent thoughts.
#this show is freaking poetry#like literally every shot in this show is cinematic gold#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#crystal palace#charles rowland#niko sasaki#my post#our ghosts matter#save dead boy detectives#my gifs
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public service announcement ~ eminem
word count: 2709
request?: yes!
“Could u do a Eminem x reader
Where the reader is asexual (they feel romantic attraction but not sexual attraction) and she’s getting a lot of hate for it and one day she’s back stage while he raps at one of his biggest concerts and he brings reader on stage and confesses his love and basically tells everyone that they need to stfu, and everyone shocked cause he doesn’t show emotions publicly very often. (Fluff) and ALOT of angst at the beginning”
description: during one of the biggest shows of his career, he decides to give his audience a public service announcement about his girlfriend
pairing: eminem x female!reader
warnings: swearing, rpf lil bit of angst, people being shitty about the reader’s sexuality
masterlist (one, two, three)
People not understanding my sexuality was nothing new. I had heard all the comments: “You just haven’t had good sex yet”; “You’ll change your mind when you find the right person”; “You’re making stuff up”. None of that phased me anymore because I understand that most people just don’t understand asexuality.
What did phase me was a new wave of hate that I started to get when Marshall and I started dating.
I don’t keep my sexuality a secret. I was very open about being asexual. It was even in all my social media bios. But I wasn’t super famous. I was an indie artist with a small following, most of which were also queer, so everyone was respectful. But when I started dating Marshall, I started getting more mainstream recognition. It was great for me career wise, but it unfortunately meant I was opened to a wider audience with a smaller mindset.
It started with questions about what asexual meant. Some people were open to the concept, but the louder minority were very not open to it. They made sure I knew with every post I made that they were not open to my sexuality.
“Prude” was a favorite insult. That one just made me laugh because it sounded so juvenile. Some just used the “making stuff up” and “attention seeker” comments. Those ones didn’t phase me anymore either. What got to me was when they started attacking my relationship.
“Why would Em want to date someone like her? He can’t even get any from her.”
“She’s not even attractive enough to make up for her sexless bullshit.”
“How long till Em dumps her ass because she won’t give it up? I say less than a year.”
They were all I ever saw in my comments. I know the only way to deal with shit like this is to ignore it. Once you allow the comments to bother you, then the trolls win. But it was definitely easier said than done. At first, it was easy to roll my eyes and close the comments. But then it became harder when more of my comments were mocking or insulting me. I tried deleting the negative comments one, but I was called out for it, which only fueled the fire when they realized it was getting to me.
I never told Marshall. He was chronically offline enough that he had no idea any of this was happening, and I wanted to keep it that way. I didn’t want him to worry about me, or be mad that his own fans were the ones saying these things to me.
Of course, what I wanted wasn’t what was going to happen, because fuck me I guess.
I had woken up before Marshall and decided to get a cup of coffee. The kettle was heating up as I decided to open social media for a mindless scroll while I waited. If I kept a log of how quickly I could stumble upon hate comments, this would be the record. It was almost instant when I opened Instagram and looked at the reactions on a story I had posted the night before. I hated that Instagram had added a feature to allow “commenting” on stories. It was so much easier to ignore responses to stories when I could just deny the message requests. But now this new commenting feature showed me everything that was being said.
I had posted a picture of me sat on the couch with my feet on Marshall’s lap. You couldn’t see his face or anything, just his hands resting on my legs, and the football game he was watching in the background. I had a filter on it, but no caption and no music. Of course, that’s all it took for the comments to be flooded with hate.
Okay, maybe “flooded” was an over exaggeration, but it felt like that was the truth when all I could focus on was the hate comments. I couldn’t stop myself from scrolling through and reading every single one, even when the kettle finished boiling. I was so deep in my doomscrolling that I didn’t hear Marshall walking up behind me until he said. “What’s wrong?”
I jumped, nearly dropping my phone in the process. “Jesus, I didn’t hear you come up.”
He reached out to brush his thumb over my cheek. “You’re crying.”
I hadn’t noticed I was crying, either. I wiped my other cheek and felt the wetness from tears I hadn’t even known were shed.
“It’s nothing,” I said with a shrug. “Saw something stupid and I guess it got to me.”
“It’s not stupid if it made you that upset,” Marshall said. “You don’t have to tell me, but you know if something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it. Even if you think it’s stupid.”
I was still a little emotional so his support hit me harder than usual. I felt tears welling in my eyes again and I couldn’t stop myself from blurting, “I just wish people would respect my sexuality. They don’t need to understand, but how hard is it just to respect someone?”
He didn’t ask what I meant. He pulled me into his arms and allowed me to cry on his shoulder. We stood like that for a while, Marshall running a hand up and down my back in a soothing way while his other arm was wrapped around me, and me crying into his shoulder.
I finally collected myself and pulled away from Marshall. “Sorry. I needed that.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “Who’s been giving you a hard time now?”
Marshall knew I had had multiple issues with people not respecting my sexuality before. There’s been times where I had complained to him since we started dating. So at least this didn’t come off as if it came out of nowhere. But I wasn’t sure how to tell him it was his fans that were saying these things.
Turns out I didn’t have to say it. My silence and expression was enough to tip him off. His face changed from sympathetic to having a touch of anger. “How long have they been saying shit?”
“A while,” I said with a shrug. Marshall gave me a look that made me sigh and correct, “Shortly after we started dating.”
“What?!”
“I thought I had it handled!” I quickly added. “It’s not like I’ve never heard that shit before. I’ve just...been struggling a bit more with it lately, that’s all.”
Marshall just looked at me for a moment before saying, “Let me see.”
I held my phone to my chest. Marshall raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed and conceded, realizing there was no getting out of this now. If I didn’t show him myself, he’d go looking on his own later. May as well be here to try and talk him down after he saw what people were writing about me.
I unlocked my phone and was immediately brought up the stuff I had been reading before Marshall woke up. I handed him my phone, then leaned back against the counter to watch him read. His ability to keep a straight face was working in his favor. There were no signs of any emotion as he read through the comments, just his eyes moving back and forth as he read.
Finally, he locked my phone and passed it back to me.
“You should’ve told me before,” he said. He didn’t sound angry. Not with me, anyways.
“I told you, I thought I had it under control,” I said. “It wasn’t even bad at first. It just...progressed over time.”
The look Marshall gave me was finally readable: sympathy. He pulled me into his arms again and sighed. “I do wish you had told me either way. I’m sorry my fans are giving you a hard time.”
I buried my head into the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. People are just so closeminded, it’s frustrating, and then it’s hard when the closeminded people start attacking your relationship just because they don’t want to try and understand.”
Marshall was quiet. He didn’t really have to say anything. It was nice just to talk to him about what was bothering me finally. As much as I didn’t want him to know, it was good to get it off my chest and to have someone know what was going on. And I definitely needed the prolonged hug that followed.
~~~~~~
A few weeks later, I found myself standing backstage as I watched Marshall perform. It was a huge night for him as he was getting inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. This was probably one of, if not the biggest night of his career, and I was glad that I could be there to celebrate with him.
Although, I was a little confused as to why I was celebrating backstage instead of being in the audience with Hailie, which was the original plan when Marshall got the news. But when we were getting ready for the ceremony, he asked me to instead be backstage while he performed and for his acceptance speech. When I asked why, he just told me he wanted me backstage for when he walked off. I tried to push for more of an answer, but he wouldn’t say anything else.
So, there I was, stood backstage next to Dre as we watched Marshall’s performance. At some point I realized I was smiling so wide that my cheeks were hurting, but I couldn’t help myself. I was so proud of him. He definitely deserved this after all his years in the industry.
When the performance ended, Dre walked back to the podium to give Marshall an official introduction before his speech. I had watched him write and re-write his speech many times because he kept feeling like what he had written wasn’t good enough (which I constantly found ironic given he was probably the best lyricist of this generation, but I guess that’s different than writing a speech). The final speech had come out great in the end though, in my opinion.
When he finished his list of rappers he looked up to, I expected it to be the end. That was, once again, the original plan anyways. He’d list all the rappers who raised him, he’d thank the audience and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame one more time, then he’d exit the stage.
Instead, I was taken by surprise when he said, “And I do have one more thing to say here before I go. I’d like to bring someone very special to me out on stage.”
Then his blue eyes found me backstage and I felt like I was going to pass out.
I walked out on shaky legs, willing myself not to collapse in front of this room full of people, plus the people watching at home on livestreams or the videos that would go up after the ceremony. I stood next to Marshall at the podium, unsure what I was doing there. He reached out to me and I took his hand in mine.
“A lot of you probably know my girlfriend,” he said. “She’s also a musician, and we’ve been together for a while now. I already thanked her in my speech because she has been a huge support for me since we got together. But I’m not bringing her on stage tonight to thank her for that. I’m bringing her up here because there are enough eyes on me tonight that I wanted to address something important.”
My mouth suddenly felt very dry. I tried not to face the audience cause I knew I looked like a deer in headlights.
“See, my girlfriend openly identifies as asexual. That means she doesn’t feel sexual attraction, just romantic attraction. She speaks very openly on it because not many people know or understand what asexuality means. I didn’t really know until I met her and educated myself. It’s not hard to just open Google and look do some reading on what asexual means, and to properly educate yourself on not only asexual, but the LGBTQ community as a whole.”
He paused for a second to look over at me. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was feeling in that moment, but I managed to smile at him.
“I’m saying all of this here now because it recently came to my attention that a lot of people who claim to be my fans have been attacking this woman that I love online because of her sexuality. It goes far beyond not understanding what asexual means, and has turned into personally attacking her and our relationship. With all eyes on me here tonight, I wanted to say that anyone who would say these awful things about her, about us, are not real fans of mine. Any fan of mine would respect the people I love, and would respect my relationships. You don’t need to completely understand what being asexual means, but not understanding doesn’t mean you get to be disrespectful to anyone who identifies as asexual. And if you want to open your mouth to insult this amazing woman stood next to me, then you can just shut the fuck up and stop pretending to be my fan.”
I finally dared to look at the audience. I was mostly blinded by the stage lights, but I could pick out a variety of emotions throughout the room; interest, shock, some nodding in agreement. I was certainly shocked. Marshall was a very private person. I don’t think he had ever spoken publicly about our relationship before. I would post the odd photo of us every now and then, or I’d share on my Instagram story whenever he made new music or had something coming up. But neither of us had ever spoken this candidly about our relationship before. Especially not at such a widely watched event.
Marshall thanked everyone and the audience applauded. It was a bit tentative at first, but eventually the applause was grew as he put his arm around me and walked of the stage. Dre was still waiting in the sidelines, looking just as shocked as I felt but still took a moment to congratulate Marshall.
“I can’t believe that did that,” I finally said once it was just the two of us.
“Are you mad that I did?” he asked.
I shook my head, but then paused. “I mean, I don’t think so. I’m kind of feeling a lot of emotions.”
He took my hands in his and pulled me towards him. “I’m sorry I surprised you like that, but I knew if I talked to you about it first you would’ve told me not to do it.”
“Of course I would’ve! Marshall, this is your big night. I wouldn’t have wanted you to take away from your own success just because some internet trolls were getting to me.”
“Nothing was taken away from me. Not to me, anyways. I still put on a hell of a show, I still got inducted into the Hall of Fame. I just decided to use this platform to address what was happening with you as well, because you don’t deserve the bullshit you’ve been going through. I’m not naïve enough to think that it’ll stop completely now that I’ve spoken on it, because I know that’s just not how the internet works. But I wasn’t going to stand by and let you be hurt without saying anything. You don’t deserve that.”
I felt some tears pricking my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but it was no use. So, I leaned in quickly and pressed a kiss against Marshall’s lips.
“I guess you’re not mad then,” he teased when I pulled away
“I’m not mad,” I confirmed. “Actually, I am a little. You could’ve given me a heads up that you wanted me to be on stage with you. I’m going to look so stupid in all the videos because I look terrified to be stood there.”
He laughed and pulled me into a hug. “You’ll get over it eventually. Let’s go back to our table before the next inductee is on.”
#eminem#eminem x reader#eminem imagine#marshall mathers#marshall mathers x reader#marshall mathers imagine#imagine#one shot#request#rpf#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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honestly for me, the frustrating thing isn't that people like buck and tommy as a couple. i don't personally get it, but to each their own! it's a pretty blank canvas of a relationship right now that you can project things onto and i know people are just excited about buck being in his first relationship with a man!
the frustrating thing is that people can't see the writing on the wall with very deliberate narrative positioning that is spelling out to everyone that tommy is not meant for buck. 911 isn't a subtle show and this is a crystal clear example of how any piece of media would write a temporary plot device relationship leading up to the endgame romance, but for some reason so many people can't see that and THAT is making me feel a bit crazy. because people will literally act like you are somehow "disrespecting a queer character/relationship" if you point out that it is being written as a plot device relationship. it's not disrespectful and tommy won't be offended by being called a plot device, this is fiction! it's just being familiar with how storytelling functions!
i want people to understand that eddie isn't just conveniently showing up in every buck and tommy scene out of his own free will, the writers put him there. it isn't a coincidence that in most of the scenes between them where eddie isn't there, he is mentioned in some way. tommy and their relationship isn't under-developed because they "don't have time" because if the writers wanted to prioritize that and progress their relationship, they would've done that more by now, even in small ways. it isn't a coincidence that tommy didn't dress up in an 80s theme while eddie matched with buck, the writers chose to contrast them deliberately. it isn't a coincidence that they wrote the episode where buck and tommy kiss for the first time in a way that leaves you wondering whether or not tommy was really the one buck wanted all along, especially with how aware the writers are of fans shipping buck and eddie for years now.
everyone is free to ship what they want! regardless of whether buck and tommy end up together, it's fine to write fanfic and think they're cute together. it's fine if you want to multiship, fandom is yours to engage with as you wish! i get that going against The Popular Ship and getting harassed for it has made some people want to commit to buck and tommy as a relationship, which bums me out a little as a buddie shipper but i do empathize with that perspective. however, outside of fandom dynamics, i do think understanding literary devices and the way that narratives are told is worth refreshing yourself on if you find yourself getting upset with people saying tommy is a plot device.
#911#buddie#911 abc#theres a reason that almost all of the people who get paid to review and analyze tv that are covering this show support buddie#and it isnt bc they are unprofessional fangirls. its because they know how stories work.
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Wish list for CBS ghosts season 4
Make Patience a recurring antagonist for at least 2-3 episodes before that story gets resolved and she gets regulated to a background character.
Patience character to be 50% good religious farm girl, 50% crazy witch. She also needs to have a wicked(ly cool) ghost power
More of Isaac loving dinosaurs
More solo development for Isaac
More of Isaac and Hetty's awesome friendship
No Nigel for a while. I do not like him. He did a lot of things in his and Isaac's relationship that are textbook abusive partner behavior.
I think it is about time for Jay's restaurant to start up, and I would like that to actually become pretty successful/profitable. Mostly because I would like Sam and Jay to have a bit more disposable income to do things around the manor, and I know the B&B is unlikely to become super busy next season (unless the show is ending , which I really do not want).
The difference in treatment between the above ground ghosts and basement ghosts to be addressed. I know after season 3 that they aren't going to move them all up stairs. But it would be nice if Sam and Jay could like furbish the basement , and then more Basement ghosts than just Nancy got invited to come upstairs for games or discussion.
Just to be clear I still want Nancy to keep making her frequent visits up stairs and hang out with the man 8. I just also would not mind seeing Stuart or another nameless basement ghost standing or walking by in the background on the occasion.
Explore Pete's power more. He does not need to hop on a plane and go across the country or anything, but let him keep going out into town and having adventures. Also let him keep going on dates with other random ghosts outside of the house.
I know that Pete&Alberta will probably happen at some point in season 4. The thing is though while that ship was cute in season 1, the way the ship was handled in season 2 soured it like milk to me. Both characters need a lot of development, and separate explorations of what they want out of a relationship, before I can ship them again.
H-Money is still a couple I kinda like. I do not expect them to get back together in season 4 (Please not another season that is fully devoted to coupling up all the character), but I would like them to start scheming together again. Let them figure out how to interact together as friends, and build a stronger foundation to eventually, in season 5 maybe, try again.
I have heard people suggest that Pete's power could maybe be extend to getting the other ghosts through the barrier if they are like holding onto Pete's hand. I want this. Now I know Sass will want to visit a Pizza Hut, and Issac a dinosaur museum, but I would say the most important thing to do with that would be to take Thor and Flower over to the Farnsby manor to visit Bjorn and his girlfriend Judy. It would also be cool if there was a lesbian ghost living there they could set up Nancy with. Since Nisaac is on a "respite" and queer representation (preferably healthy queer representation) is important.
Everyone remember in season 2 when we learned about Flower's super protective, formally MIA, army vet brother : Rob. You remember how the show's staff said they would love to have Rob come to the B&B for a visit, and were already considering actors who could play him? I want this episode. Also if you cannot directly tell Rob his sister is a ghost on the property, then can Trevor or Alberta use their powers to help Flower send a message to Rob. To say that she still loves him. I cannot deal that both siblings spent like 50 years thinking the other hated them when neither did. It is to sad.
It would be cool if we could also have Ira visit once too. I know Flower did not love him like she did Michael or does Thor, but he was still someone who was a big part of her life for a while, and knowing her cannonly had a large impact on his. Maybe we find that while he has done charities in her memory, trauma over watching her be killed by a bear has also lead him to sponsor bear hunts or poaching. Flower is horrified. Then Sam and Jay have to spend his visit looking for a way to convince him that is not what Flower would have wanted.
Four standard episodes for each season are a Halloween episode, an episode where Bela visits, one where Stephanie wakes up, and one where Crash appears and is slightly relevant. I have no idea what to do for an episode with Crash, but for the others
-Ghost animals on Halloween
-Home theater night for ghosts and guests on the night Stephanie wakes up, complete with all the drama of set up and shenanigans that going to the movies encores.
- Bela is broken up with Eric, she does not even like him. This time her and Jay's parents come with her for the visit. Bela wants all the latest gossip surrounding the ghosts, but they have to tip toe around the parents. Jay's dad does not fully support the B&B even without the knowledge that it is haunted, and Sam does not want to give her mother in law another reason to suspect that she might be crazy.
Owning back to the "Can Pete take the other ghosts off the property" theory, can Thomas Woodstone be a ghost who died visiting a neighbors property. We have no reason to see Elias again since he has decided to stay put in Hell. But Thomas reappearing could be interesting for both Hetty and Alberta. If he does show up though I want the twist to be that he is actually severally cognitively impaired (think Lenny from oMaM)... I mean the man was from an inbred family, played with lead based toys as a baby, had a cocaine addict mom, and a father who was a lot of things. He could not have been all there. Also address more on if Earl ever actually cared for any of the people he was two timing (again development that needs to happen to make Alberta want to go from dating an Earl to a Pete).
A Sasappis based episode that is not his death story. I feel like he needs at least one more episode exploring what his life alive was like, to be appropriately gutted when we learn about his secret death.
Actually maybe we can hold off on Sass's death and Hetty's ghost power until season 5. let's keep the element of mystery in the show for a little longer.
#Cbs ghosts#ghosts 2021#ghosts US#sam arondekar#jay arondekar#cbs ghosts Thor#thorfinn#sasappis#cbs Sass#isaac higgintoot#Patience the puritan#anti Nigel chesum#Hetty woodstone#Alberta Haynes#Susan “Flower” Montero#pete martino#Alberta x Pete#Flower X Thor#trevor lefkowitz#H-Money#Nancy the Cholera ghost#Nancy the basement ghost#Thomas woodstone#Anti earl#cbs ghosts season 4#Cbs ghosts season 4 wish list#flower montero
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