#i just want to learn so much and i'm realizing that school si great and ive learned a lot but some classes go by too fast

[loverboybrightsideghost]

who would win: me thinking i don't work hard vs every single person who's ever met me apparently

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, thank you so much for your blog. You're the only source i trust when it comes to mbti. I don't know my type. I know I'm Fi-Te but not sure if I'm ESFP or ENFP.

I'm very imaginative but i guess is because of wanting life to be more interesting and at the moment I can't be very present oriented because i want my present to change and i can't right now (because of lack of financial independence - I know i need a job a job, I'm searching), so i just make up fake scenarios inside my head usually accompanied with great music.

Also I've realized that getting outside of my head is good for my mental health even if it's just going to the grocery store or watching netflix (I tend to stay at home, i still live with my parents and I don't want to go out alone without friends and my friends are usually unavailable).

So, can ESFPs have their head in the clouds and be imaginative just because they like it? I want to create stories (but writing is always boring so I don't do it) and i love learning history, psychology, philosophy and I like to learn about society but then we have to ask why do i do this things, like you said, and i think the answer is "because i like it and it's fun", so it is that Se-Ni? I don't want to stay in my head forever because I've done it many years already and I had enough, I want to live my life and to explore my freedom but ENFPs also want that so I'm confused.

Also it's strange to think I'm Si inf since it's a function you'll only use well way later in life (I'm 26) and I like to be careful sometimes and I have a lot of life-learned lessons and I would hate to make the same mistakes again because it would lead to more sadness and i had enough of it (i had severe depression for years at the past + self-loathing issues because of bullying at school and emotional neglected parents). I also like some past techniques because they work, if they don't then that's when we should think of something new.

So I might be ESFP even though not a stereotypical one because of childhood and environmental factors.

I tend to do what I like without thinking if it's a good decision of not because I just wanna do it, which includes A LOT of imagination but I'm getting tired of it because I want to go to new places and what's better than creating a great story is living one.

I can live outside of my head when my reality is one that I like but I'm using imagination as long as I can remember since I'm a little kid. I like to talk to people about ideas but I've changed a lot because i grew up and I've realized that not everything in life needs to be changed, you can just appreciate the great things you have now like music, photography, love, friendship, food and i want to do all the things i haven't done yet, like dating, going out at night, sleepovers, etc).

When on grip I tend to think about the stuff that hurted me or get paranoid about people hurting me, i guess my biggest grip episode was me on depression, because who wouldn't suffer in their own misery when everyone around me was horrible to me? I had therapy and i still do and it saved my life.

So what do you think? Am I ENFP or ESFP? I've read a lot of your Theory Guide but the only thing that helper my more was the Function Dynamics part because the Se-Ne and inf Si-Ni is confusing to me because for me it feels like I can be both types and i know there's only one. Ne dom makes a lot of sense but Si inf just doesn't.

I do take objects as how they are but I also like to use it to improve life (eg books are made of paper but books help with making new ideas written on paper which helps people improve their lives/all actions need words and ideas first). However I don't want to just to think in a better future without living in my present because it just seems like I'm running forever to catch a train I never can catch and I don't want to live my whole life wanting to search for something without filling fulfilled and satisfied. I do love physical sensations like food.

I'm also very spiritual, I like the idea I'm guided and loved by an superior source because I didn't have that growing up that much, my parents have a different love language than me but now that I'm older i tend to become more strategic and cold (Te tert kicking in). I forgive them, but i just wanted to tell you this for the reason of loving God and my spiritual journey.

Function stacks:

Ne: loves brainstorming, generate ideas, likes and needs new experiences for mental health/ Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Si: gets bored by mundane tasks or same-old things.

OR

Se: my main priority in life is happiness, pleasure and fun, i like to get the desire/thing now if i don't i get angry (eg finding stuff in my never ending bag) / Fi: learning to cope and deal with my intense feelings, prioritizing my desires, / Te: likes to resolve problems with tasks and values efficiency, knows to make sacrifices for a greater cause / Ni: I do want to have a meaningful life and want to be remembered, I also tend to have intuition moments (eg don't put detergent on same grocery bag as food cuz is dangerous).

Sorry about the silly examples but that's what I got. I hope this is not confusing.

Thank for your time! Happy holidays.

----------------------

First, your understanding of Se isn't very good or deep, which is why you're getting confused. This fact by itself is usually enough to indicate it isn't the dominant function, since people should naturally have a good and deep understanding of the dominant function, especially once they learn about it through function theory. Second, a lot if not all of the major struggles you experience are typical manifestations of N-S imbalance (not S-N imbalance). Therefore, I'd have to conclude that ENFP is by far the much better fit.

[karlyanalora]

2 April: When were you diagnosed and when did you know that you're autistic? If you're self-diagnosed, when did you first suspect that you're autistic and when were you sure?

Self-diagnosed. My mom suspected since I was quite young that I was autistic. She was afraid I'd use that knowledge as a crutch for disorder influenced behaviors that were hurtful to others. Which was valid.

Little me had zero empathy. You know that parenting trick where you tell two fighting siblings that they are allowed to beat the crap out of each other and their neurotypical empathy is supposed to stop them from doing just that? Yeah, apparently I gave my little sister one heck of a punch. (I do have empathy now, but I'm not sure when or how that happened? Maybe when I realized my actions had an impact on the feelings of others?)

So while I like to think it wouldn't have happened, knowing me, I can see why my mom thought I would take the knowledge that I have autism and use it as an excuse to be a jerk. Unfortunately not knowing I had autism and how that made my experience different meant I was doing a fine job of being a jerk purely on accident. (My poor younger sister. It's not a surprise our relationship only began to mend when I learned about autism.)

When did I first suspect I was autistic? The Temple Grandin movie. You see, I liked hugs from my mom but any touch from my younger sister made my skin crawl. I was very vocal about this (sorry sis). Anyway, I saw the Hug Machine and realized I didn't like my sister's touch because it wasn't as firm as my mom's. (Not like sis could fix that since she wasn't strong enough to make it firm enough.) I was also the family hypochondriac (since learned what I thought was "sick" was just really that I'm hyperaware of my body and what that feels like can change a lot day to day.)

So anyway I came away wanting a hug machine and saying I had autism. My parents panicked and convinced me I was not autistic. (Understandable but not great parenting moment. We've talked about it.)

I was homeschooled for a lot of reasons, one of them being my mom knew I'd be eaten alive by my peers. (Thank you for sparing me that.) But my peers couldn't be avoided and at age 12 in a homeschool group play, I discovered bullying. It was an awful time in my life with lots of complicated factors. My mom and I worked hard with trusted adults to identify what I might be doing that could be bothering these teens so much. Couldn't find anything and my mom realized it was probably my autism. There were other outside factors besides that, but she realized it was a mistake not to tell me.

A lot of my schooling involved my mom giving me non-fiction books to read. So I didn't think anything of it when she gave me one on autism she'd heard about on NPR. She assigned me a lot of books on autism. Really good books about the history of autism, how perception and scientific thought has changed on the matter, and so on. (Wish I could remember the names but I will go find them if asked.) I saw myself in those books and this time my mom nurtured that and together we found resources that would help me navigate the social world with less heartache.

So I knew by age twelve. Sometimes I miss not knowing. I was peacefully oblivious to the fact my peers didn't like me and were ostracizing me (my mom could see it though and it hurt her because she knew how wonderful I am). Now, I see it. And man, it hurts. I've learned to mask to prevent bullying, but I don't know how to stop.

But if I didn't know, I couldn't have learned. I'd still be hurting those I love by accident. Heck, I still do sometimes. Just because they understand I don't mean it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt them emotionally. I've been able to learn a lot and develop some very fulfilling relationships. I've been able to help others more.

An important reminder that I am not speaking for the community at large. This is my experience and I'm looking forward to learning more about ones that don't match.

[musicarenagh]

Meet Jaxyn Lethe: Your New Electro-Pop Obsession Join us as we have a chat with Jaxyn Lethe an upcoming star from Baltimore, making a buzz with her catchy electro-pop style. The latest hit single from her was “Techno Beats” which is the preview of upcoming EP ‘I am I don’t know’, to be released on February 4th. OK, what’s cool about Jaxyn is that she isn't just a regular musician. As a girl in her family where your father and aunt are practicing music, music is definately there inside the veins. It is therefore no surprise that she has found her calling in the industry. With Jaxyn's music she combines everything she likes, think new wave, shoegaze and a lot of feelings. Every track is filled with her soul, combining catchy tunes and reflective words that strike right in the heart. And get this: She is not all about the music. Jaxyn is all about networking and teamwork. She is preparing for a few live shows in Boston and has some great collabs coming up. Thus, if you are after soul-moving tracks, then Jaxyn Lethe has you sorted. Watch out for her EP and gear up yourselves to shake legs with some vibes that are marvelous. Listen to Techno Beats below https://open.spotify.com/track/370G4f6w0MptTGVaQWXSxH?si=459fb9af97b44f5f Follow Jaxyn Lethe on   Instagram Spotify Youtube Bandcamp Soundcloud What is your stage name Jaxyn Lethe Is there a story behind your stage name? Nope! My given birth name. Where do you find inspiration? I write and produce music at the same time, so often times I'll sit down wanting to try a new production technique, and I'll write a song about whatever I'm thinking about in that moment. A lot of emotional fuel for me though comes from different relationships I have in my life. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? My dad's a musician, and I've been playing piano since I can remember. Having a very vast musical background has given me a lot of tools to be able to express myself in a more precise way. Are you from a musical or artistic family? Yes! My dad is a Jazz pianist and Church music director, and my aunt fully sustains herself on her band the Billies. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? I don't think a specific person ever inspired me to want to do what I do, but rather being surrounded by people in different areas of the music industry made me feel like it was super accessible. I also never had a moment where I was like "aha now I'm going to be a musician" because I've always played, composed, or produced music in a large capacity. It made the most sense for me to continue doing so as an adult after High School because I'd never done anything else. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? My dad taught me how to play piano, and then I started piano lessons at 4. I never have had formal training in singing, and when I first started writing I wanted someone else to sing my songs. It wasn't until they never sent me the audio files that I begrugingly tracked the vocals myself. [caption id="attachment_53911" align="alignnone" width="720"] My dad taught me how to play piano, and then I started piano lessons at 4[/caption] Then I realized how much easier that was, so I just started doing it regularly. My first writing experience was in blues music, I was taking lessons with Erwin Helfer and he had me write lyrics to a 12 bar blues. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? I don't remember at all. Apparentlly I saw the Beastie Boys when I was 2, my parents took me to a lot of concerts as a kid. How could you describe your music? I always say Electronic Indie Pop. I'm heavily inspired by new wave, shoegaze, the Japanese House, STRFKR, and Phantogram. I take a lot of inspiration from varying places so I find it hard to place a genre. Describe your creative process. Sometimes I'll have a melody in mind, and I'll create a backing track to it, and then I'll think of lyrics. Those songs are usually pretty catchy. Sometimes I'll make a beat and then lyrics will come after.

I'm very technically motivated, so new gear and production techniques really makes me feel creative the most. What is your main inspiration? I don't know. What musician do you admire most and why? I admire LCD Soundsystem, because he knew exactly what he wanted and he went for it. Despite being older, despite having people tell him that he shouldn't, he released something totally unique and it blew peoples' minds. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? Yes. I used to be less creative with my synth sounds and drum parts, since getting more experience producing and learning more in school, I feel like my music keeps getting more developed and complex. It's like I started off making good songs, like a grilled cheese and tomato soup. But the more I do it the more I can develop the idea to have more "flavors", like now I can make some michelin star meal with crazy depths of flavor. Who do you see as your main competitor? I don't have any. Honestly, I compete against my former self to release better stuff. Anyone that I'd feel intimidated by I like to push myself to work with them so we can join forces. I don't believe in rivalries when working together can yeild better results. What are your interests outside of music? I love cooking and taking walks. If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? Probably dying or going to horticulture school. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? I don't like networking that much, and I feel pretty shy in really social settings. I have to force myself to put myself out there and get fans. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? I would end the correlation between label backing and tik tok followers. https://open.spotify.com/track/370G4f6w0MptTGVaQWXSxH?si=459fb9af97b44f5f Why did you choose this as the title of this project? Honestly, when I made the song I started with a beat, and 'Techno Beats' was the trash name I made for the project file folder. When the song developed, the tag line got pretty complicated, and the one repeated line is "swallow us." I couldn't think of an alternate name to "Swallow Us," and I figured that would be a disaster, so I kept the file name. What are your plans for the coming months? Playing shows around Boston, and my EP release on Feb 2. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans I do, but nothing super solid yet. What message would you like to give to your fans? I love you!

[twitchytwitchtwitch]

I think for a long time my depression became an inextricable part of who I was. I say "was", because I want that to change. I stopped doing Things, because I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't go swimming, or visit friends, or go for walks, or read, or drum, or dance. I couldn't try new things. I'm saying "couldn't" because it felt like a couldn't. It is possible I could have, but it sure didn't seem like it.

I've had the thought before that I had stagnated during that extended period, and never quite left it. University was an end to that, in some ways. I was doing something new. I was learning and growing. But I think I began to stagnate there, as well. And I have most certainly become stagnant, now, in life. And I would like to not be. I want to try new things. I want to rediscover my past loves. I have already found some- reading, swimming, writing dumb blog posts.

When I think about who I was before I was depressed, I go back to third grade. That's a long ways ago- third grade was 2004, so that's 18 years ago (yikes the passage of time). I go all that way back, because fourth grade is when I identify things as starting to go downhill (developed a toxic relationship with a girl who would be my bestfriend/bully through to the end of junior high). Eighth grade is when the hormones and angst and I think truly the beginning of mental illness started to set in. I started selfharming, which went through all the way past when I dropped out of school in grade twelve. It would have been about... 2014? When I really felt like I was Okay Again. I went back to school and got my high school diploma. I could do things again- I got out of bed every day, I had social interactions, and I felt happy. That was pretty cool.

There was growth and learning in university, obviously. I think all education will cause growth and learning, but it was entirely unavoidable in social work and child and youth care. It is truly required to be a good worker in this field (though I have definitely met people who have not succeeded in the assignment and aren't great workers). I learned and grew to be more open, more accepting. I learned to shut up and listen more, and to actually take in the information I was given, and process, and put the knowledge into practice- I think especially about this when working with marginalized individuals and groups. Like, if a BIPOC human says 'hey that thing is racist', the correct response- at least how I have been taught- is to say 'okay, thank you for calling me in', and then you THINK about the information, you understand the issue- probably do more research to understand it better- and then you don't do the thing anymore! And like maybe you help other people to not do the thing anymore! Anyways the point is that I definitely learned and grew in those 5 years. I grew as both a practitioner, but also just as a human in the world. But honestly I don't think I changed very much.

Sometimes I get freaked out by reminders of mortality. My grandfather had a health issue in 2022, and had to move out of his house and into a care facility. He's still very independent, but he's also 99. That freaked me out. I started calling him regularly, and going and visiting regularly (I haven't much the last month because my mental health has been at a Big Time Low), because it was frankly just a kick in the butt 'hey. People die. Go spend time with people. With your grandfather.' I struggle with that feeling of being freaked out. There are people you want to interact with because you're scared you may never talk to them again. But you can't just interact with those people. That's not how it works.

I recently got a similar kind of... motivation? Inspiration? Realization?? I'm not sure what to call it. But it was basically me going 'when was the last time I tried something new? When was the last time I actually stuck through with a new thing?? When was the last time I really challenged myself???' So I'm working on that now. That's where the singing class, and trying guitar, and learning about philosophy have come from. Singing class to learn something. Guitar to try and stick through with something. Philosophy to challenge myself to understand an area I don't have an inherent interest in. I want to understand. I want to learn. I want to grow.

I'm not mad that I stopped moving. I'm sad that I lost those years to depression- like I have literally lost them, I can't remember most of it- but I'm not mad at myself. Not right now, at least. I don't see a benefit to being mad at myself (that's a first). I just want to grow. I don't want to change who I am. I want to evolve. Ian evolves into... something. Not because who I am now is inadequate, or not enough. But because I want to see what else I can do.

My mum wishes everyone a happy Hogmanay every year. I've started doing that, too, the last few years. Mostly because I like the common 'blessing' that people- that my mum- use for it. May the best you've ever seen, be the worst you'll ever see. I would like to see what I can see from my next vantage point.

[jajanvm-imbi]

Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to

^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.

Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group. 

At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.

like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.

I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.

anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.

because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit

I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care

Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother 

Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.

like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve

like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.

Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown

also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it

He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down 

Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead. 

Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor. 

If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.

Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it 

moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever

and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over

He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break) 

since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night

like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”

So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.

One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.

He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve

Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*

Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???

Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM

Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU

Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO

Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU

Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO

Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her

Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before

Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.

Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.

Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.

Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.

As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.

Moving on

He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her

He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government

Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)

They take turns housing Luug.

Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects. 

He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff. 

The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”

Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.

He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic

Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"

Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time

For example:

Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?

Krel: what the fuck do you want?

Everyone in the room: krEL NO

Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever

And a mini fridge, of course.

Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.

Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make

Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!

Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?

Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!

Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language. 

I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self. 

Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish. 

Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent. 

Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this. 

Claire's dad would also appreciate this.

Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.

And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.

He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff

Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help. 

GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.

Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.

of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs

its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers

he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music

At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks

I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!

[blackpoliglota]

Moi assistant une réunion qui aurait été un e-mail...

This is me in that scenario and now after having spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME looking for a GIF for this post... that doesn't even fit the space properly on the desktop version 😭😭😭

Ah well, much ado about nothing, I suppose... anyway, I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK!!! So sorry for the unannounced hiatus... which wasn't really much of a hiatus, as I was still reblogging things BUT STILL. I ended up getting super sidetracked with teaching and dealing with the biggest headache on the planet known as the Spanish Beaurocracy™️🤦🏾‍♀️ Seriously y'all, those people DO NOT know how to do their jobs! If you want to hear about the fun time of trying to get my papers in order so I could remain a legal foreign resident, lemme know! Well, even if you don't I may create a post solely dedicated to that anyway; I could use the opportunity to let out some steam.

Now without further ado, onto my first original post of 2021!!!

As you may have guessed, this is about emails, particularly those written in French. I have 2 recent-ish emails I sent off to a college French professor asking for a recommendation letter for a fellowship. Wanting to keep up my French skills (and not disappoint my former professor), I used that opportunity to practice French by setting aside several lovely hours of my life for each email... yep, you read it right, HOURS. If I wrote those emails in Spanish it would've only taken me a hour tops for each email, but since this is French we're talking about here I had to spend the majority of my email-writing time looking up virtually every other word/phrase, cringe over each eventual sentence(s) I'd create with said word/phrase, and ultimately convince myself to move onto the next sentence to repeat that same process. . . all of this with taking a break after every 3rd sentence due to being lowkey dissuaded from continuing. . . fuuuuuuuun🙃🙃🙃

Anyway, not all language learning sessions are great. BUT, ya gotta push through those annoying/bad times to achieve greatness, amirite? Right, so with that being said, ALLONS-Y!!!

So I mentioned having spent the majority of my time looking up words and phrases for these 2 emails, meaning I now have a lovely list of vocabulary to get through! Check it out below:

Le premier e-mail

La Nouveauté - innovation / novelty / originality / freshness [In the email I mistakenly used it to mean "news", when I really should have used "nouvelles"]

À part - Aside from

La folie - madness / lunacy / insanity / chaos

Supporter - To put up with / to tolerate / to bear

Pour l'instant - For the moment

Falloir (qqch)- To have to do (sth) / must do (sth) [In the email I mistakenly used it to mean "should", when I really should have used "devoir"]

Déménager - To move (house)

L'essai (m.) - Try / attempt

Remettre - To turn in / to hand over [there are many more meanings for this verb, but in the email it's used to mean this]

Le formulaire - (Application) Form

Le faute - Fault / mistake / error

La date limite - Deadline

Faire face à - To deal with / to face

Opérer - To operate / to work / to function

Quoi qu'il en soit - Anyway / either way / be that as it may

Ce que - What [As an antecedent, not a question word]

Se rendre compte de (qqch) - To realize / to become aware of (sth)

La bourse - Scholarship / fellowship / grant / stock market

Requérir - to require / to call for

Le solliciteur / la solliciteuse - Petitioner / solicitor [In the email I mistakenly used it to mean "applicant", when I really should have used "demandeur / demandeuse" according to WordReference]

Le motif - Reason / motive / pattern / motif

Si longtemps - So long [As in "such a long time"]

Le thème - Topic / subject / theme

La déclaration personnelle - Personal statement

La déclaration d'intention - Statement of purpose

Payer le luxe - To have the luxury (to do sth) / to afford (to do sth)

Urger - To be urgent [In the email I mistakenly used it to mean "to oblige", when I really should have used "obliger"]

Amitiés - Best Wishes / All the Best [Letter sign-off]

And for the sake of breaking up these two lists so you won't be too overwhelmed at all the vocab I need to study, here's a picture of the first email below:

Now for the next one!

Le deuxième e-mail

Le tour - Turn

Désolée de. . . - Sorry for. . .

Tel (m.) / telle (f.) - Such (a)

À temps - On time

Lié (m.) / liée (f.) - Related / connected

L'affaire (f.) - Matter / issue / business

Le séjour - Stay / temporary residence / family room / living room

Donc - Therefore [Grammatical position is after the verb, after "pas" if negation is present]

Une fois encore - Once again

L'objet (m.) - (Email) Subject / object / purpose / target

La nouvelle normale - The New Normal [COVID-19 related]

Vécu - Lived [Past participle of the verb "vivre"]

Propre - (One's) Own / clean / tidy / neat

Lorsque - While / when / as soon as

S'étonner - To be surprised / to be astonished / to be amazed

Chacun de nous - Any one of us / each of us

Poursuivre - To continue / to pursue / to keep up

Presque - Almost

L'enseignement de l'anglais langue étrangère - Teaching English as a Foreign Language [abbrv. "TEFL"]

Instituteur (m.) / Institutrice (f.) - (Primary school) Teacher

Le déménagement - Move / moving

Devenu(e) - Became [Past participle of the verb "devenir"]

L'éducateur / l'éducatrice - Educator

Le retour - Return

Bien que - Although / even though

La carrière - Career

La demande - Application

Écrasant (m.) / écrasante (f.) - Overwhelming / crushing / heavy

En réalité - Actually / in fact / in reality

Le résultat - Result

La ronde des finalistes - Finalist round

Alors que - While / even though

Les études (f.) - Studies

Réviser - To review

La communauté - Community

À ce sujet - On that note / speaking of which

À l'avenir - In the future

Postuler à (qqch) - To apply for (sth)

Scolaire - Academic / scholastic

S'améliorer - To improve / to upgrade / to get better

La capacité - Ability / capability

Cela dit - That (being) said

Fou (m.) / folle (f.) - Crazy / insane / mad / wild

Être en bonne santé - To be healthy

Être en sécurité - To be safe

Jurer - To swear / to vow / to curse / to cuss

Le temps de réponse - Response time

Chaleureusement - With Warm Regards / Warmly [Letter sign-off]

And here is the second email itself:

As you can see, I blocked out the name of my professor because Consent Tings™️. Hopefully the email images help with putting the vocab into context! I plan to make quizlets for these vocab words soon and will post the link to it here for y'all if you're interested in studying them! Also, DISCLAIMER: if you didn't know this before, I am by no means an expert in the French language; I'm hardly at the B1 level. Cela dit (that being said. . . see that? heh heh😏), I'm sure there are a plethora of errors in both emails. If you're feeling extra critical when reading them, please please PLEASE point out those errors to me! I want to discuss them with you and learn from them so I can poursuivre m'améliorer (keep on improving. . . once again, hehee😂)!

Alrighty, that covers just about everything! Again, I am so sorry for not having created any original posts in such a long time; life carried me away🤷🏾‍♀️ Now that I finally have my first post of 2021, here's to more frequent content creating!

乾杯(Gān bēi)! 🥂

EDIT: Links to the quizlets below!

Le premier e-mail: https://quizlet.com/_9mktlv?x=1jqt&i=3dk8u9

Le deuxième e-mail: https://quizlet.com/_9ml1s4?x=1jqt&i=3dk8u9

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

[musicallisto]

Hey hope you're doing good! Could I get a Harry Potter (marauders and golden era) ship please? I’m a (straight) 5’7 girl, ENTP, Slytherin and studying English literature, I want to be a writer! I have curly, blonde, shoulder length hair with hazel eyes. I’m very social and can talk to pretty much anyone, and hate being alone. I'm quite hedonistic and stand up for what I believe in, as well as my friends! I love standing out in my fashion, I usually wear long floral dresses, flares, blazers :))

I Ship You With...

Sirius Black (Marauders era)

I imagine that at first, and in some twist of irony of life, Regulus would be the one to have a crush on you, not Sirius. You’re in his school year, in his house, he sees you practically in every class, and you’re so gracious and confident, starting up conversations with everyone like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Every time he gets home, the habitual silence in the Black centuries-old manor is Regulus talking about your prowesses with stars in his eyes. It’s not like Sirius talks much with him, but he’s bound to hear it as some point, and your portrait piques his interest. You don’t sound like such a terrible Slytherin. In fact, you sound like an tringuing person... someone he inevitably grows to love, just through his brother’s eyes.

He resolves to woo you, whatever the cost. But he’s seen how much of a loser James is when he’s trying to court Lily, so he obviously won’t go down that route. He’s much more gentle, much less pushy, even if he’s still sure of his charm. He’s Sirius Black, after all. He won’t get cocky with you - he’s too afraid that could drive you away -, but he’s sure you’re bound to give in someday.

And giving in you do, but it takes much longer than Sirius had anticipated. It’s a cat and mouse game that plays out where you’re both too proud to admit you lost, but can feel yourselves slowly slipping in the pits of your doom: you’re both crashing into each other, and it hits you at the most random times. When he first sees you in a new dress, long flowy around your ankles, the cut perfectly complimenting your body, the warm flowers echoing your radiant smile, he’s taken aback for a second, and he realizes that he loves you so much that any other girl in that dress wouldn’t even catch his attention. And when he’s concentrating on studying for an upcoming DADA test, for the first time something that genuinely interests him, you notice how unsuspectingly cute he is when he gets totally immersed in something he loves. You can’t help wishing he would give you that much care. When you’re unashamedly, carelessly being yourselves, it’s hard for the other to keep the self-assured facade. So you give in, at the same time, in a parallel urge, meeting the other halfway.

He often tells you how you should’ve been a Gryffindor. You know it’s a running joke from the way his eyes crinkle when he says that and readies his fingers for a tickle match, but you can’t help wondering if he means that. If he sees a little bit of himself in you as well, a little bit of what he could have been. You just answer that you’re not a Gryffindor, not because the hat said you weren’t, but because you feel in your bones that you are a Slytherin, and that you choose every day to be a Slytherin. A true Slytherin, not like the perversion that runs along your classmates. If anything, it helps Sirius see that some arbitrary verdict given by a decrepit hat can never be a basis for his worth, or for anyone’s, for that matter.

You never knew about Regulus’s passing crush on you, but once you learn, you make sure he’s not bitter about the whole ordeal. Not that you would want to have dinner at the Blacks regularly, but you don’t want things to be awkward between the two of you. He’s not bitter, actually. He tried his hardest, really, but he can’t. He loves his brother too much, much more than he thought he loved you romantically, and he respects and appreciates you too much to lose himself to some disillusion.

Sirius Black (GT era)

Your life shattered in a single night. One second Sirius was playing the piano in the room next to yours, a calm yet somber melody, and the other he was gone through the door. He had heard before you did, he had stormed off before you did, blinded before you were. You knew instantly where he had gone. To Godric’s Hollow, destroyed already by some harmful hope that anything, anything at all could remain of his best friends, of his godson. You waited for him for one entire night. You had to find out the worst way possible - in the newspaper, brought at the first lights of dawn by a distracted owl. “Mass murder. Criminal. Sirius Black. Azkaban.”

No matter how much you tried to, some part of you couldn’t bring itself to move on, to think about anything other than your love in a cell for a crime you were certain he didn’t commit. When you became a writer in the following years, between pamphlets and poems dedicated to spread your message of persistence and rebellion - the Death Eaters are still out, the threat is still here, the Order of the Phoenix will not stand down -, your words would sometimes take the shape of a defense speech, a plea for your lover and his unjust case. You called on everyone who had known him to testify on his behalf. You pleaded the Ministry to issue a second trial, a fair trial, to use Veritaserum, to get him out of here.

Naturally, in such times, it was hard enough being a known Slytherin writer, let alone vouch in favor of a convicted criminal. The Black family were rotten to the core and had always been; it was no surprise that one of them would turn into a murderer, and anyone who associated with the likes of them were equally as rotten. And yet, you didn’t lose hope. One day, Sirius and you would be reunited. You were sure of it.

The first time you saw him, twelve years later, you were working on your next novel in the quiet of your bedroom, after receiving a check-up visit from Remus, the only one who had always, deep down, refused to believe the tale. A rustling in the leaves outside your front door caught your attention. Thinking it was a wounded animal, maybe a raccoon, you unlocked your door and took a few tentative steps outside. In the pitch black night, you could distinguish, clear as day, a familiar black dog. You held back a sob - you had been deceived so many times. But when he turned back, and he embraced you for long minutes, so emaciated and disheveled, you couldn’t doubt anymore, and you let your tears flow.

The Order gets a breath of fresh air in its lungs when Sirius is back. You were two of its most prominent members, so his return and his innocence are a victory worth celebrating. A party is held with all of your friends at 12, Square Grimmaurd, where he’s in hiding now. As usual, you are both the life of the party. Twelve years in Azkaban couldn’t tear the wings of two social butterflies. But Sirius still saves a moment for you and only you, stepping out in the backyard, under a million stars, and extends a hand to you. “We have many dances to catch up on,” he smiles michievously, although you notice a glint of nostalgia in his eyes.

You slow dance under the stars all night long, your heart resting on his. A thousand hours could not make up for all you missed in that time, but it’s a great start.

(I hope you don’t mind that I paired you with the same character in both eras, but because I saw you with Sirius so well and also I love him, and because he’s a character in both eras, I thought I would make this the continuation of the first part.)

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Phoning Home

The idea for this fic came to me after I called an old friend of mine on the phone. Let's just say I felt a little vulnerable and got emotional, but they're a good friend, so I didn't mind. For my other fics check out my Masterpost.

In this fic the reader and Rick get a bit honest over the phone

__________________________

The funny thing about cell phone reception was that if you stepped into certain parts of your house, you'd lose a bar or two. Though, for whatever reason, it seemed Zeta-7 always had perfect, steady reception; which you thought could've been attributed to the 4 slot chip holder behind his phone battery. Well, with that kind of reliability, you never had trouble understanding him on the other end of a call unless there was background noises like laughing or something blowing up; usually the latter. So, for the most part, it was like having him right there, but not really, and you stressed that when you heard it in his voice; you stressed how important he was to you and how much you missed him. "It's so nice to hear your voice. I feel like it's been forever since I've seen you."

"I-I know." he agreed, light exhaustion coloring his voice. "It's been a-a-a busy couple of weeks hasn't it?"

"You're telling me." you sighed as you glanced at the photo the two of you had taken a few months ago; taken on the night he had assumed you two were about to break up, and you had tried to be mature; all of which you did just to impress him; how silly it was of you, but how lovely an evening it had been. "It seems as though this is all we can do anymore; just talk on the phone and hope that the other person isn't lonely."

"Are you lonely?" he inquired; his voice taking on that particular soft, sweetness which would have almost been alluring if other words had been used instead.

"I want to say I'm not," you started because you wanted to be better than that; to prove that you could be more mature than your years, "but usually I can't. I guess I am." 

"I'm s-sorry mi corazón."

"I mean," you tried to reason, "I try to tell myself that it's only temporary and that the work you're doing is much more important than my own feelings, but I feel as though we're on two different worlds, on different planes, and are destined to be apart. I know how silly that sounds, but it's how I feel sometimes. Goodness is it…am I wrong to feel this way?"

"No, you're not. Boy," he confessed, guilt laced in his words. "I - I feel as though I've neglected you."

"No, that's not true at all. You've taken very good care of me."

"Have I? I allowed you to get lonely, and I don't know how I-I-I can forgive myself? Y-you're everything to me."

"As you are to me." you softened; tears biting the back of your eyes. "You're so important to me, that it's like I'm missing a part of myself when you're not here."

"Gosh," Zeta-7 sniffled, pausing for a moment to collect himself before he continued. "y-y-y-y-you don't know how hard it's - how I-I really want to be there with you. All I see all day are lab specimens and m-my own face…that is the faces other Ricks. How I've lasted this long is beyond me, but I believe it's - it's because I think about you."

You sat up on your couch, ready to listen. "What do you mean?"

You heard as he set down something heavy; maybe a book or a beaker full of some concoction. "Do you remember when I said that I sometimes wish I could carry you in my pocket, and have you look after me all the time? Well, I um - I like to imagine that I really do. Th-that you're so small and precious that I can't let you out of my sight or else…"

"Or else what?" you wondered, being both intrigued and warmed by his thoughts.

"Or else someone better suited might take you away from me."

You couldn't have thought of anyone better suited than him. Over all these years, there had been a few guys including an old friend from high school, but they had never been enough. You had other interests in mind, but when Rick came along, it's as though something inside you woke up. In the beginning, Zeta-7 was so shy and easily hurt, and even now he thought you could've had anyone when all you ever wanted was him. "What would you do if someone tried to take me away? Whether in your imagination or in real life, what would you do?" 

"I wouldn't let them, unless - unless you wanted to go, but I wouldn't want you to go, not after how long I've waited f-for you. I know I'm being selfish, and I-I should stop rambling but you make me so happy; the happiest I've ever been. How can I not think of you?"

His earnest, sincere nature wasn't lost on you. You had to pause, and take a moment to find your words, let alone a steady train of thought. He truly was lovely; what a shame that he thought so lowly of himself. "I mean, there are a plethora of things to think about."

"Gosh, it's neat to think about experiments and all, but I'd rather - it's mighty swell to think about you."

You placed a hand over your heart, realizing that you didn't feel so bad anymore. In fact, amidst the conversation you found that you had done something similar to cheer yourself up; imagine that he would be somewhere about the house; cooking, cleaning, tinkering, or napping on your couch; ready to greet you with smiles and kind words whenever you were in the room. "I see. I think...no," you blushed, "I do understand what you mean. I think about you all the time too. I'm sorry for worrying you. I should probably let you go now."

"Wait, b-before you go, there's something I wanted to tell you."

"Alright."

"I read something not that long ago and I thought it was fitting. It goes like this: 'Si nadie sabe ni p-por qué reímos,'" he softened, "'ni por qué lloramos; si nadie sabe ni por qué v-vivimos, ni por qué nos vamos; si en un mar de tinieblas nos movemos, si t-todo es noche en derredor y arcano, a lo menos, amemos; quizá no sea en vano.'"

"Rick, that sounded lovely, but while I've been trying to learn a little Spanish, I don't understand. What does that mean?"

You heard a familiar sound, and behind you, a portal opened, and he stepped through; from head to toe, he was covered in a hazmat suit. With a lighthearted chuckle, he cleared his throat and you swore you could hear his blush, through his mask. "It - it means in more or less words that despite whatever happens or might happen, th-that I love you."

Those words which he always meant, but rarely said struck you with such a force that you couldn't help but be relieved and the burble of laughter which escaped your throat was not contained. And as much as you wanted to hold him, you knew that if he was wearing all this gear, it was for a good reason. "Oh Ricky, I would kiss you if I could."

"I-I'm not supposed t-to have left and might get in trouble," he confessed, "but I had t-t-to come here in person to tell you that. How else could I prove my worth as y-your boyfriend? As a man?"

Standing as close as you could, you smiled up at him; unaware of his own struggle in wanting to hold you, but not being in a condition to do so. "You prove it to me all the time as you had just now. Why I couldn't ask for anyone better. Thank you, dear, really thank you for being with me."

He stretched out his arm, nearly touching your cheek with his gloved hand, but stopped and allowed it to drop to his side. "I'm - I'm sorry, but I hav-"

"To go? It's okay, I understand."

Rubbing his arm, he informed you, "I'll be back soon."

As always, like a ghost, he would go away; not knowing when he should return, but knew that he was never far whether you wished it or not. "Alright."

He turned around, unhappy that he'd have to leave you alone again, but before stepping through the portal, he mentioned. "After this assignment is done, I'll take an extended vacation, and w-we'll go wherever you want."

There were a great many places which you thought of and wished to go, but if anything else, one thing proved true. "As long as you're with me," you confessed, with a hand pressed over your heart. "then I'll be happy because when I'm with you, it's like coming home."

"Me too. More than you'll ever know."

Fin

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

I'm having trouble distinguishing between Se and Ne in myself because I can see evidence of either. For Se - I've been practicing martial arts for most of my life, I have very fast reflexes and tend to react well to unexpected circumstances such as easily maintaining my balance or rolling onto my feet when I trip without even thinking about it, and I have a general awareness of my surroundings, and can easily see the potential of an object and how to manipulate it into what I need it to be. /1

But I can put the reflexes down to martial arts training, I believe all Pe will have a general sense of surroundings, and with my father being a mechanical engineer, and possible tertiary function development, the last doesn't seem necessarily Se.  As evidence for Ne - I've been known to not notice injuries due to distraction, including cuts to the bone, even when what I should be paying attention to was what cut me and I was thinking about something else. (I was doing dishes. Broken cup.) /2

Also, while I'm skilled at some physical activities, anything I didn't specifically practice I'm awful at. I couldn't catch a ball until halfway through high school and still can't reliably catch anything. I also rarely notice specific details because of expectations about what I'm looking for ('the cabbage couldn't fit there' - but it was there, it did fit) and because when I'm searching for something I tend to look for breaks in established patterns, if that makes sense. /3

I've found that people often have difficulty understanding me, and it's because I draw conclusions from abstracts they don't think about, or because I ramble on about a topic without being specific which topic. I once found a stove plate was left on with nothing on it and I was trying to explain to my brother in law why this might damage the stove, but he kept saying they'd used it that way before, under the impression that I was talking about water I'd spilled on it by accident. /4

(The water in my last example was how I found out the stove was on)   Lastly, my job involves high stress situations where details can be a matter of life and death - so while Se would be beneficial, it would tend to develop Si, and as such sensor traits could be a result of Si.   So does this seem to give evidence of one function over another? Thanks in advance! /end 

-------

Hi anon,

This is not particularly definitive, mostly because a lot of this is fairly common normal human stuff or might be due to your judging function. Going through:

“ can easily see the potential of an object and how to manipulate it into what I need it to be” I suspect this language came from some MBTI description because this is not how normal people typically speak. It’s also kind of weird, like...does this mean you can improvise a weapon from your frying pan if need be, or does it mean you plan on trying to turn your kitchen table into a car. Either way, not super useful.

It’s also not super useful that your father’s a mechanical engineer for typing you. Sure, you’ve probably learned a few things from him, but that’s not going to change your cognitive processes and since there are plenty of both high Ne and high Se using engineers out there it doesn’t tip the scales either way.

Martial arts training is relevant here and I do agree that this is not necessarily high Se. I find that a lot of high Ni users really like martial arts.

Not noticing when you’ve injured yourself while doing something else is actually not an uncommon thing in general, for both biological reasons (endorphins in lesser cases, shock in greater ones) and distraction in general. I don’t think I’ve cut myself that severely and not noticed it, but I’ve definitely cut myself and not realized it until I saw the blood. When it comes to physical awareness I tend to ask people more about everyday things, like needing to use the bathroom or how your clothes feel - and even then, martial arts training might have an impact if you’ve done a lot of work with mindfulness.

I’m not entirely getting what you’re saying about the cabbage but actually this is one of the potential indicators you might be a high Ne user since you’re obviously skipping a bunch of context that is crucial to the understanding; that said, given what you’ve talked about regarding the stove...you might also just not be a great communicator? I find that high Se users can do this too, because they don’t realize how much they’ve noticed that others have missed, and honestly I did this a lot when I was younger because it requires a certain level of understanding what other people have access to and what your audience is.

I really can’t weigh in on your job without understanding more context here (although I understand if you don’t want to or can’t talk about your job more at length). Details, much like martial arts, are a thing many people can learn, so it’s more a case of whether you feel this comes naturally or if it’s very hard, how the details come into play (eg: do you need to be quick at picking up details immediately and working with those, or do you need a very good depth of knowledge about details that you can learn at leisure then apply in the high stress situations), and to an extent your age (if you’re thinking you’re an ENTP, for example, and you’re 20 your Si still is pretty bad, but if you’re thinking you’re an INTP and you’re 25, then yeah, you may have decent Si development at this point).

So in all, slight preference for Ne but not definitive.

[ae-diaries]

My Life Testimony

Warning: Long post ahead

The content of this blog has me holding a secret I've kept hidden for a long time. I'm a bit hesitant to share my personal story because others (who knew me already) may be shocked or turned off 😅, but hopefully, the thoughts would bless someone and help you face your weaknesses and rise above them. This is a celebration of the greatest miracle I received from God. I never thought that miracle was real, until circumstances proved that it is possible. 

Foremost in my mind is when I was a high school kid. My life was symbolized by the microphone; I’d been exposed to sing in front of a crowd, be it in school or amateur singing contests. It's not to boast but it felt like I was a singing sensation back then, others dubbed me as 'songbird', 'sweet nightingale' to name a few 🤣. But when no one's looking, I felt, for lack of a better description, just off. This was caused by a certain physical condition that tear down my self-image. 

It all began when my mother noticed that I had an uneven shoulders when I was 13 years old. Later on, I was diagnosed with scoliosis measuring a 20-degree curve, and so my doctor from PGH gave me various stretching exercises and required me to wear a brace to prevent the curve from worsening or else surgery awaits me.

I freaked out inside. At the back of my mind, I wondered, “Why me?”. From then on, a hidden scar symbolizes my 'private' life. People might not notice it, but really I was riddled with inferiority complex and lack of self-worth. Nakakaiyak isipin, imagine ako lang bukod tanging estudyante sa private skul na may ganitong klaseng kundisyon. How I pitied myself. Parang ayoko nang lumabas. Hiyang hiya ako. 

I usually cried and pahirapan pa every time my mother would be putting the brace into my body, kabilinbilinan niya wag ko daw aalisin para daw mapabilis paggaling ko, but there was this one time, while I was on my way to school, naisipan kong dumaan muna sa haus ng classmate ko para lang ipatago yung brace ko. And it happened many times. Ang bigat nyang dalhin, di lang sa katawan kundi pati narin sa kalooban. Later on, they found out what I was doing, until wala na silang nagawa sa tigas ng ulo ko. Fortunately, my classmates did not bully me in school; however, I was still very conscious and afraid that my crush would see me like a bionic kid. To this day, I have never told my parents about this reason. You know as a teenager, I was overly sensitive by the opinion of others. And that's all that matters to me. I didn't think of the consequences of this action. 

Fast forward to 2012, sabi nila end of the world na this year (according to Mayan calendar), feeling ko katapusan ko nadin when I went back to the doctor and learned that the deformity progressed to over 50 degrees. Reality finally hit me! A major surgery was needed to correct my S-curved spine. Why I didn't just wear that darn thing? I must admit nagpabaya ako as I was trying to live like a normal kid. At that time, I was already employed in my first job so I filed for a two-month leave. Luckily, my very understanding boss approved it. I also had an amazing orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Teodoro Castro, who explained to me the procedure (though it was as clear as mud to me). He was very reassuring, so I didn't get scared. 

And when he asked, "Kelan mo gusto magpa-opera?," Without a second thought, I replied, "Kahit po bukas na doc!". My thoughts were, "If not now, when pa?"( I felt like I was running out of time.) His eyes bulged upon hearing my immediate response! And so he set the schedule to May 16, 1 p.m (which I spent at Sta. Teresita General Hospital in Quezon City). 

It was exciting, really, though it had 'Final Destination' feels. Andaming 'what ifs', what if di ako maka-survive? Bigla kong naisip talagang 'life is short' at ang dami ko pa palang di nagagawa sa mundong ibabaw such as makapag-serve kay God through joining a spiritual ministry, to travel for a cause, makapag-abroad, makakanta sa tv, makita si Regine & Sarah, magamit license ko to teach students, maigala ang magulang ko, and to have my own family. Sana magawa ko pa ang mga ito after post-op. 

More so, I felt my family's collective fear; I could actually hear the loud beating of my parents' chest when they signed the waiver 🤣. My father had worries that my voice might deteriorate after the operation. Laying in my bed and knowing that I may be that close to dying, I delivered my prayer of surrender to God and remained fearless. The comforting lyrics of 'You made me Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson became my fight song while in the hospital.

Waking up after the operation was the highlight. Being groggy from the anesthesia, I opened my eyes, feeling like it's just a continuation of my short sleep. I saw the nurses and my family - patiently waiting for me to wake up for almost 6 hours na daw. The first thing I asked was, "Tapos na?" (many times). I felt a huge sigh of relief when they uttered the words that struck me to the core, "Oo, tapos na." S*** I couldn't believe my ears; I was flying with joy! For years I have prayed for this miracle. I wanted to shout and do any dance challenge, 🤣 but how could I do that? They were preventing me from talking yet or make any movements because a mask was surrounding my nose and a lot of apparatuses were attached to my body. Later on, I learned that my younger brother cried after seeing me survived the operation. May kadramahan din pala si brother na lagi kong kabangayan 😂. While the success of my operation wouldn't be possible if it weren't for the assistance provided by my father's company, DMCI Corp. That's why I'll always be indebted to their big boss, VAC (May his soul rest in peace).

My healing lasted for almost nine months. I never suffered from complications, just pure torture and regrets na sana di nalang ako nagpa-opera (huhu). This is no exaggeration but dinaig ko pa talaga ang na-cesarean. On the first month after my operation, I became disabled and reached levels of pain I thought never existed in human experience: It was difficult to breath; I could not stand and walk on my own; I became excessively skinny because of drug intake - this was a legal drug prescribed by my doctor which can remove the pain only for 4-6 hrs. It felt so pathetic and frustrating to see myself in front of the mirror. No matter how much I tried to be positive, my insecurities gripped me down again and again to the point of questioning God: "Is there a hope for me?", 

"How come others could breathe and walk so well? During these times, inggit na inggit ako sa mga taong nakakalakad at nakakahinga ng maluwag. Feeling ko life is so unfair. Somewhere deep inside, I believed I was ugly, that He really didn't like me and it was His punishment for all the sins I did in the past. As I poured out my grief before God, a question popped in my head: “Mira, give me reasons why you should remain grateful?.”

“Seriously, how can I be grateful in times like this?.”

But in those agonizing moments, a light of hope from my parents’ eyes illuminates my darkness. 

In all the times that I cried and complained, I never saw them get too tired to feed me or serve me even if it would make them uncomfortable to make me comfortable. I couldn't imagine how they felt when I looked down on myself. Aside from my parents, my siblings, concerned relatives and genuine friends also never left my side. It's as if they became my extra pair of legs when mine refuse to walk. And my heart is full of gratitude today because they have loved me during the times that I didn't love myself. 

I'm living a normal life now as if nothing happened but others observed that except for my angelic voice 🤣, I tend to become forgetful and a little bit of deaf (Yes to this level) - this was probably caused by my extra dose of antibiotics intake 🤣. They noticed that I walk with lightning speed, as if may hinahabol daw ako lagi - maybe subconsciously, this has something to do with my life goals. Yes, I do get tired easier that's why there are some things that I must not do such as lifting heavy objects, sport activities (except for swimming), washing a mountain of clothes 🤣, bawal ma-stress and ma-exposed sa extreme cold places 😅.

As they say, true wisdom is learning from your shortcomings. For everything that I'd been through, I realized that there's a lesson hidden underneath the pain and it was God's way for me to:

(1) strengthen my faith - It was through this difficult times that I also underwent a 'spiritual surgery/enlightenment'. It has helped me find my stride in God and pray like I have never prayed before (for I know nakalimot ako). I didn't know all His plans but surely He was turning my brokenness into greatness. 

(2) love myself, invest in my relationships and create good memories - The whole discernment gave me the courage to keep progressing. I began to accept my imperfections, pick up my self-esteem, and do the things I haven't done before: Much is to be done but so far, I already saw Miss Regine and Sarah in person, traveled to different places, got to teach students in schools, treat my parents - brought  them to concerts and resto; spent midnight snacks and watched movies with my siblings; hang-out with friends; reunited with a long lost friend; restored a broken relationship, and tried to forgive someone;

(3) appreciate the fine details of life - More and more, my wishes become simpler. I realized there is more to life than any material thing could give, and that is getting enough oxygen and optimal healing to every organ in my body. Sobra kong na-appreciate ang buhay ko, especially the air I breathe, and the legs that carry me everywhere.

Eto lang sapat na 'to be happy'. Why did I fail to notice this before? And that's also what I want to ask you, when was the last time you were thankful for the air around you? True to what they say, the best things in life are free, but the problem is we're not contented with what we have and complicate rules to experiencing happiness: “I will be happy only if I’ll be able to upgrade my phone, buy a latest collection of chanel bag, wear a new pair of sketchers shoes..” And I'm so guilty of it because I once was a shoppaholic before that I forgot to remember how 'enough' I truly have.   

As I look back, hagulhol nako sa iyak - there were tears in my eyes, but they were no longer tears of pain but tears of gratitude - thinking how would I survive without the amazing people in my life.

I believe that God wants me to write this article so that I could speak for Him and claim that today, I can go out without any worries because I'm no longer ashamed of the scar life has left me with. It's a blessing in disguise; a sign that I conquered pain and fear. Wala na sigurong pagsubok na di ko kakayanin dahil kinaya ko na yung 'pinakamahirap' because truly, life is about not giving up and trying to fix yourself up after every fall. 

I cannot make the scar disappear but by looking at it, I see a testimony of survival, inner strength and God's miracles. Jesus never said it wouldn't be easy, but He said it would be worth it!  - Matt. 7:13

#secondlife #lifetestimony #embracingmyscar

[typingtakoyaki]

Juliana,

may the candles light up your wishes

and the moon lay its light on you

may the constellations take away your nightmares

so days won't feel anymore blue

these letters you're about to see,

may remind you of friendships that keep you free

so keep going, wanderess

for the world awaits for seventeen more years of your presence — m.m.m.

———

written by Sarah

Who would have thought that in just one night, we shared our hearts together without hesitations and with full excitement inside that room, we are sitting on top of our green screen cloth that's the very moment I realized I'm going to treasure her.

Happy birthday to the girl who, at first, I feel so intimidated but later on up until now, gained my love & my purest form of care I would give to a sister everyday. I always remember her everytime after I take a bath u wanna know why? because she's the one who taught me to properly cover my hair with the bath towel. All I can say is I'm hoping that as we grow older, we remain friends and sisters.

written by Carl

You've been through a lot, and I really look up you for that. First thing that comes up in my mind whenever I hear "Juliana, Juliana Milanbilen" is a strong independent woman.

As I get to know more about you, I've seen your greatness, your different sides and a lot of things I truly admire—and your fun side's my favorite!

I am beyond grateful that I've met a Juliana Milanbilen. Your baby boy always got your back! All your love, your help and other things we share are truly appreciated. Happy, happy birthday, Ate!

written by Jacques

To the best anchorwoman and one of the faces of Cavite and CALABARZON TV Broadcasting, happiest birthday, Juliana! Two years na tayong magkakilala at kahit tuwing may press con at trainings lang tayo nagkakasama yung nabuo nating bond at friendship ay strong pa rin. Makwento ko lang. Noong DSPC 2018, akala ko talaga grade 11 ka rin o kaya grade 12 pero laking gulat ko noong training na you are a grade 10 student. Hahaha! Kahusay banaman. Our future anchor, never settle. Never settle for less than what you deserve. I know that you are capable of extraordinary things, and it's your purpose to fulfill your visions and dreams. Don't let those go. Rise to them.

Yana, thank you for laughing out loud, listening to my horror stories, those prankish fights, and all those crazy kinds of stuff we did. Thank you for being our light every time both teams were down. I will forever cherish the memories we've made along the way, and I'm looking forward to more. Sana kahit hindi na tayo masyadong magkikita at magkakasama sa mga susunod na taon, hindi pa rin magbabago yung nabuo nating bond sa loob ng dalawang taon. Yana, I just want to remind you that we always got your back, and we are only one call away. I can't wait to see you on TV! Again, happy birthday!!! I miss you! I love you!

written by Matthew

Hello, ate Juliana! Happiest birthday to you. I hope you're doing well. I'm really thankful to have you as one of my ates during my first year in campus journ. I learned a lot from you. We may not have a lot of moments together, but when we do, they're all nothing but genuine. I remember you comforting me while walking on our way home from school after a depressing training. That day, I learned how harsh it is to be in TVB, but I also learned that no matter how harsh it can become, you will always have friends who are there for you during those trying moments. We are a group— a family, after all.

To be a Juliana Milanbilen is to be a fighter. You are, by far, the bravest gal I've ever met, and for that I'll always have you and your character to look up to whenever I feel hopeless. Again, happy happy birthday to the one and only Juliana Milanbilen.

written by Chloe

Happiest Birthday sa aming Juliana Milanbilen. I don't know but the way you say your name, sobrang iconic. Doon pa lang makikilala ka na. It feels like destined ka to stand up and to stand out. Ever since na makilala kita, you were both a "baby" and an "ate" to us. Sobrang tapang mo, pero sobrang humble rin. I know that you'll be great, and even greater pero I still want to wish you the best because I know that you deserve only the best. Lovelots, Juliana. Happy Birthday!

written by Jhester

Hello, Yana!

First of all, Happiest Birthday sa pinakamabait at pinakamagaling na TV Broadcaster na close friend ko! Hindi ko talaga inakala na super magiging close tayo noong sumali ako sa TV Broad! Super dami kong masasayang memories with you! Lalo na 'yong tatlong mumu! Hinding-hindi ko talaga malilimutan ang naging journey ko na kasama kayo! Super-duper grateful ako sayo yanaaa dahil tinuruan mo ako noong una kong sali sa TVB! Sa pagbibigay ng mga ideas at mga advise na sobrang nakatulong sa akin as in! Nandito lang kaming Team NS palagi para sa'yo! Mahal na mahal ka namin yanaaa!!! Miss youuu and see you soon!!! Happy Birthday!

written by Raffy

To our beautiful and woke future anchor/ reporter, intelligent and sweet bunsoo, i wish you a happy birthday!!! Waaah two years may not be long enough but always know that im forever thankful and happy for having u and get the chance to work with u in the field na minahal ko rin. Alam mo naman na isa ka sa pinakaclose kong kaibigan na para nang kapatid kaya sobrang weird din sakin na kung hindi si micka, ikaw yung shiniship sa'kin sa tvb HAHAAHAA!!! I will never forget all the experiences we've shared in NSPC 2019 kasi doon kita mas nakilala at sa tingin ko, doon nagsimula yung matibay na friendship na meron tayo ngayon. Grabe no, sa 2 years na 'yon, na-witness natin lahat ng ups and downs ng isa't isa kasi halos lagi na tayong magkasama.

Sana sa mga susunod na taon, kahit na magkalayo na tayo ay hindi pa rin magbago yung bond at turingan na meron tayo. Please know that i'm always here to help you, support you, and love you as your friend and big brother kahit ano pa man ang mangyari. Sumbong mo agad samin kung sino mang aaway sa'yo kasi reresbakan agad namin HAHAHA djks. I hope na maenjoy mo pa rin ngayon yung araw mo kahit na wala kami riyan kasi grabe sobrang deserve mo na sumaya!! Ayun langg. Huhu sobrang mamimiss talaga kita yanaa. I love youuuu!!! Have a great day!

written by Krissy

Yana, you’ve always been one of the most admirable women I’ve ever met. At such a young age, you’ve managed to face and overcome so much whether it was alone or with the help of people close to your heart. Through all that, I’ve watched you grow and am continuing to witness you become the best version of yourself.

I am so glad to have met a girl whose love for people, for her passions, for life never burns out. I hope you never run out of fire. Happy birthday, baby! I love you forever.

written by Joash

Hello, Juliana! Only a year has passed since we got really close pero sobrang dami na agad nangyari. Tbh, I'm a little sad because we don't talk much these days and because I feel like I suck at being a friend. Pero as your forever cancer boi, I wanna let you know that I'm always here for you no matter what. Even if we don't talk much, please know that I do think about you and I still care. Actually, sometimes, I still feel like sending you a new song na feel ko magugustuhan mo hahahaha.

Anyway, happy birthday to you, sunshine! I hope you find the peace that you were always looking for and I pray that it stays. There were challenging times and there always will be but I pray that you remain strong as a person and with your faith so that you may overcome it all. Continue being the compassionate yet adventurous soul we've always known. I'll take you for coffee anytime, magsabi ka lang. Love you!

written by Micka

Staying strong in a constantly changing world is called courage, and you might just be the embodiment of it. I have seen you struggle on one foot but still chose to step forward by the other. And when I think superhumans aren't real, I remember you and convince myself I'm wrong — because I didn't just meet one, but also shared moments with — and that, for me, is a blessing.

Juliana, you are a woman fit for love and I sincerely hope you never run out of it even if the world refuses to give it to you. I'm sorry if there are things time don't seem to mend, but I promise I will always be here to put a band-aid on your wounds and make you forget it was ever there at least. Our friendship is the sisterhood I never thought I needed, but as soon as it came, I always prayed that your kind of blessing is what God showers me more of.

Happy birthday to you — the love that keeps growing, keeps healing, and keeps inspiring. You may forget about other days, but I hope you always remember this one. I love you.

#Julianais17

[franeridart]

This might be too much to ask but I broke my laptop and only have access to mobile and I'm dying to know what I'm actually missing but I can't check would you be able to describe it? Sorry I know this is annoying ignore it if it's too much trouble

It’s not annoying so don’t worry about it, but my posts should all be visible, now? At least my app doesn’t give me the option to request a review anymore… if you can’t see them still they’re all (aside from the one I posted earlier) backed up on my wordpress blog! You can see them from there without me needing to describe them~

Anon said:Franeri-san what dimensions do you usually use for your canvas? When I draw I end up making the canvas too small, so when i zoom in to make details it becomes pixelated. But I also don’t need my canvas too big because I won’t be able to proportion it;; it’s a visual thing… Ah I’m rambling sorry

I use a 6000pxx5000px with a 4px brush, usually, but I really rarely use it all, mostly it’s just like, corners of the whole thing. I tend to draw a lot of things on the same canvas before switching to a new one - that said, personally I can’t draw properly if I don’t zoom in above 100% (usually I work at 150% or 200%, more for details) so I’m really not the right person to ask this haha

Anon said:I saw that profanity is now being blocked more heavily by safe search so our good, good but foul mouthed Baku may be the reason your stuff is hidden. You’ve probably already heard this but I thought I’d let you know~

Rip so I heard orz though let’s not give our Baku all the fault here, I swear a lot by myself too haha I’m my own ruin, seems like - thank you for taking your time to share the info, anyway!!

Anon said:I’m really happy about your blog not being censored seriously. CAUSE YOU MAKE WONDERFUL DRAWINGS THAT FILL MY HEART AND I WAS STARTING TO PANICK. Keep up the good work~. 🖤

And I’m really happy you can properly see my blog, you sweet sweet cute and adorable anon!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:Hello! First, I love your art and your headcanons and stories! I am in love with bakushima half because of you, you beautiful tart. Second, about Bakugo’s laugh, holy crikey, of course he’s loud and explosive. The boy is a ball of stress and anger and when he laughs for real, it’s rare and takes effort. But like, can you just imagine when his explodo-kill mask cracks his face turns red because he doesn’t want to laugh. But THEN he barks out a laugh and everybody’s stunned and then he just SNORTS

YES!!!!!!! Oh my god yes that’s an hc I have he definitely, definitely snorts when he tries to hold back his laughter it’s so effin adorable I die every day a lot bless that kid

Anon said:Who tops of in your opinion in Bakushima?👀

Maybe either, maybe neither, depends on many things but mostly on how I don’t ever ask myself this question for any of my ships so I got no answer for it at all ever - instead we should ask ourselves the important questions, like who opens the water bottles between them (Kirishima when Bakugou’s palms get too sweaty and Bakugou’s forever resentful about it), who kicks when they sleep and who always ends up sleeping on the floor because of it (Bakugou’s the restless sleeper, poor Kirishima), who takes way too damn long in the bathroom goddamnit Kirishima get out of there already I swear to go——-

Anon said:your blog makes me really happy just keep doing you you’re like the best thing

Thank you so much holy smokes!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:wait wait wait wait! is Bakugou the one teaching Shark Kirishima sign language?? then does that mean Kirishima learned to sign ‘I love you’ from Bakugou!? (Q/)////(\Q)

They’re learning together!! They have an online dictionary and follow online courses, so Kirishima kind of looked it up for himself at first - he was signing it as love instead of really like thoug, which made Bakugou indecently flustered so in the end, yes, he was the one to teach him how to properly sign it :D

Anon said:Will you still be updating this blog?

Sure will! The wordpress one is just a backup thing!

Anon said:wait so question: in the mer au, does kiri know jsl from before? because the way he reacted to bakugou first attempting to sign at him looked like he recognized it but you said they both had to learn? does he react like that because he recognizes it as bakugou actively trying to communicate? (btw this au is So Good i love how kaminari is just “why are you like this” at kiri but his Gay Ass cant be swayed)

I’m glad you like it!!!!! And nope Kiri didn’t know jsl from before, but mers do have something similar to a sign language (there’s deaf and mute merpeople too, after all) so he recognized it as Bakugou going “I want to talk to you and this is the best way to” - also, he’d never seen a tablet before and Bakugou was showing him an explosion on it to make him understand and instead he went “what is this SORCERY” and got excited about a gif. Good, pure kid. I had no clue how to add that in the comic in a fast way tho so let’s leave it at him being happy they found a possible way to communicate haha

Anon said:Hi Fran!!! Hace you reas the theoriws aboyo kiri o kaminari Boeing traitors? Si you know where they came up? I’m lil bit lost even tho I’m up with the man lmao ALSO pls more maki-chan

So pretty much at some point in the middle of a meeting Present Mic mentioned how there probably was a traitor between them that kept on feeding the villains infos about UA, and the fandom of course got interested in that!! Who could it be? They started thinking it through and for some reason the theories that ended up being more popular are about it being either Kaminari, Kirishima or Hagakure - I don’t think any of these are true, but if you google search “kaminari traitor theory” or the same with the other two names you should easily find the posts explaining the theories and where they come from, if you’re interested!

Anon said:omg fran i haven’t watched/read bnha but still solely bc of your art i am IN LOVE with kirishima. he’s such a pure being I feel like crying every time i see him??? like i just watched the first opening of the anime and you bet i watched the 5 seconds kirishima gets over and over. like all the bnha kids seem great. i am somehow extremely motivated to read bnha now thanks to your art. BUT OH MY GOD KIRISHIMA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH WHAT EVEN

You picked the best fave you could ever pick, anon!!! Kirishima is the BESTEST boy, purest and brightest and energetic and actual sunshine and also super strong and resilient and kind of an ass now and again but in a good way he’s GREAT I’m IN LOVE with him good job your intuition is perfect

Anon said:THE MER AU WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER I LOVE SHARK KIRISHIMA AND THE TAGS ALL GAVE ME LIFE

GLAD YOU LIKED IT OMG!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love all your art, but especially all your self indulgent stuff bc first off HELLS YEAH DO THE STUFF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY and another is it feels like self indulgent stuff for me but I’m not the one making the thing… So like… It’s Good™ BUT YEAH ANYWAYS I LOVE YOUR ART AND YOU AND YOUR ART MAKES ME HAPPY TBH I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A LOVELY DAY

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH also this is super nice to know because sometimes being self-indulgent is all I can manage to do haha r i p but at least now I’ll know you, for one, will like it!!! That’s nice!!!!!!

Anon said:If you were ever bored and wanted to do more of your mershark au thing I wouldn’t be mad at all ! 😝 your art is so cute and easily recognizable and I really enjoy it! Stay beautiful lovely Fran!

!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I really, really think I will!!!!!!!! :D

Anon said:I bet if denki tried to do the “if i jump at ______ they will most certainly catch me” with bakugou, bakugou would just let him fall

Oh my god no Bakugou’s reflexes and instincts are too fast and automatic the actual reaction at seeing someone run and jump at him would be without thinking trying to explodo-kill them don’t jump at him Kaminariiiii

Anon said: What to you think of a school dance bnha concept thing???

I read a bakushima about it once and I DIED so actually A++++ great perfect amazing concept I love it

Anon said:I gotta know,what do you think of the “Dabi is Todoroki Shouto’s brother” theory? i personally feel like that 1’s the most likely theory to become a legit thing but im curious

I talked about this on my main just the other day!! And added something about it earlier through another ask! But generally I think it’s believable, and I wouldn’t mind it being true :D

Anon said:But, what are your feelings about this chapters? And Kirishima? God, I love him even more and want him to be happy, but Im also dying to know what happened to him in his past!!

I CRIED I love that boy so much I swear it’s getting ridiculous I’m so so proud of him and how far he’s come and I just want him to be happy??? I do want to know his past tho!!! I’ve just been asking for this for, like, eight months!! I hope next one will be the one I’ll finally learn about my child tbh ;–;

Anon said:Fran you should totally do bnha and haikyuu calendars

………………..boi that sounds like a lot of work, anon. Like, it’s an interesting idea, but also my lazy ass is telling me no way no what the heck go to sleep instead r i p

Anon said:Have you ever thought of an eraser mic fusion?

I’ve drawn it already!!

Anon said:fran i?? i love the way you draw smiles?? idk i was just going through your art and i realized that holy SHIT i really love the way you draw smiles. like each smile is different and has its own specialty. esp bakugo’s smile I LOVE HOW YOU DRAW HIS SMILE!! like usually it’s not really noticeable but then there’s that slight quirk of his mouth (see what i did there?) and it’s so perfect. idk dude i just REALLY LOVE THE WAY YOU DRAW SMILES

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE ASK I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you????? so much??????? I’m glad you like them cause honestly I love drawing people smiling and laughing, it makes my heart smile too~

Anon said:Theres a bnhaStuck blog in the works ;)

That’s? Nice! I guess!! I hope whoever’s working on it will have fun with it!!

Anon said:Fran this last BNHA chapter hurt so bad. And then I saw your mer-Kiri and it cheered me up!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad I could cheer you up cause honestly I felt that pain a whole damn lot too ;A; let’s hope Kiri won’t have to suffer much more in this arc #sob

Anon said:im crying fran, my hard bby kiri in the latest chap,,, my baby boi, i know that i wanted to know more abt him but,, keep my baby safe pls oh goodness gracious… (and as usual ur bootiful art keeps me alive)

I mean nearly all the character arcs we got are damn sad so it was obvious Kiri’s was going to be too, but still ;A; don’t make him suffer too bad Hori I beg u ;A;

Anon said:*takes deep breath* I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR MAKING QUALITY ART OF MY FAVOURITE SHIPS YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON AND YOUR ART IS VERY PRETTY AND I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR EXISTING IN GENERAL BYe

THANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!FRAN!!!!!! YOUR MER!KIRI AU!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D I’m glad you enjoy it!!!!!! 

Anon said:I love your work 😍. You are the only one who makes comics About my favourite ships. I check your web everyday If you post something new. My fav ships are I.waoi, bok.uroo and bak.ushima. Love your work 🙂

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!! holy smokes!!!!!

Anon said:Do you have an OC for Boku no Hero Academy?

The closest things to bnha ocs I have are the fusions, right now, but there’s a couple of asks in my inbox about a bkkr kid… soon……..

Anon said:Quick question, I want to read haikyuu, I’ve watched the anime already and I was wondering how close the anime follows the manga, like how bnha is basically identical, is it the same? Or is there a bit of difference *^*

I’m SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO ANSWER - I bet you already found your answer elsewhere, but anyway the anime is pretty much exactly the same as the manga!!

Anon said:Back on the topic of hq!!! I find it funny how people ask about bok.uroo so much as if you dont like them anymore when they’re literally still your header, like if you didn’t care for them they’d think you’d change it to bakushima or something

I’ve literally thought about changing my header so often but then I look at it and I’m like….. my kids………… I can’t do this………………. not yet…………………. same for my icon tbh haha I love them too much rip

Anon said:Okay but what if Kirishima makes a really stupid pun and Bakugou just turns away with a curse and he’s just covering his mouth and quietly giggling into his hand because even he can’t believe he found that funny, and that is SHAMEFUL. And Sero in the distance is just looking at him, all disappointed. Quietly judging the fact that Kirishima and Bakugou are practically meant for one another.

You wanna know the best thing the absolute best thing? My very first bnha comic was something eerily similar to the first part of this ask! Only Bakugou was the one to accidentally make a pun - I’d link it but honestly my style was ridiculous back then so not happening, just know that I’m 100% sure that post is the reason why I keep on drawing bnha comics about puns, my very first post set the path for all the others to come hah a curse I don’t actually mind

Anon said:are you planning on starting another series? like the bokuroteru tattoo shop au you did (it was real dandy and rad) it was what made me find your blog, so i was wondering if you have any future plans for anything similar. i really like your blog lots, i hope you have a nice day!

Right now I don’t actually have any idea orderly enought to make a proper series out of it, rip - maybe in the future, tho! That one comic was fun to make, after all!! And thank you!!!!!!!!

Anon said:IM HARDCORE IN LOVE WITH TODOSHIMA THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR RUINING MY LIFE❤️❤️

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED HIM OH M Y GODS!!!!

[vttmax]

This is part of a storie im writing

Ok so my sister say to do a day in the life of roberto with this new holo band.

a holo band is a super high tech arm computer on your wrist it can make calls,film video ,stream video, and he'll even search the web. It is super cool there's only like 5 in existants and i'm beta testing mine for neko.

Any ways so day in the life of Roberto got it. Ps . staying at aunty raiyu house as sis out of town on doctor business

Wake up at 5 am

Meh time for breakfast do i want toast and eggs? seems like everyone asleep means i'm gonna have to cook or i could eat the leftover dinner for breakfast . ya 5 am going to eat left overs takes 10 minutes to eat 2 steaks now time to shower seems like envy and kaneki are up if the sound i hear from the bedroom is what i think it is. Ah bathroom was free so time to shower got to get clean be back after i'm done.

Takes 30 minutes to shower. Time to sneak off to my room i move through the hallway like a semi stealthy bull. Ah here lets see what i have for cloths hm…. Seems i need to do laundry again…. Got two black socks some sweat pants that are black those are clean

Now for the hard part got to put this binder on.. That's a goddamn struggle every morning to put this on when i shouldn't need one add to the fact this ones home made with a shit ton of hole probably should just get a new one. now what to wear for a shirt here's one …. Sniff… ew not that one smells like josip cheap cheap cologne. This one will do ahh got lucky getting this from vinnie and jackie. Throw that on with some deodorant. Now to put on my shoes simple black shoes that cost me 10 bucks. And the final touch my skull jacket the very first gift from neko to replace the one mariea gave me that go torn to shreds when i lived with victor. That whole process took me 20 minutes and i still got to brush this fucking hair ….. Agh i hate having horns and brushing my hair around them it's a pain in the fucking ass to get knots out .

great now it's 6 am every ones getting up and running leat got to pack my bag for school. Lets see what do i have for subject today.. English, geography,health/demonic studies,gym,math,biology,study.. Long ass day 5 minutes to pack bag and that morning now got 30 minutes to myself check if my headphones are on and jam out till we leave..

Ah it's 6:30am time to run down 70 flights of stairs to get to the taxi for 7 am or i could take the elevator yup taking the elevator.in the taxi joe's a great guy been driving me and the other kids to school for few months now. i tip him ten bucks when ever i got extra cash. i know mom says not to give so much but for an immigrant that's enough.

At the school get there with 15 minutes before it starts got english first.. Agh i hate that class as i'm stuck between rich boy joshives ass and his valley girl reject of a sister mary. The i've got jameson behind me all he ever does is make fun of me over stupid shit .. like my horns the color of my hair says i look like the gothic rejection of a demon spawn and that some one should learn to exorcise me . little does he know who my real family is then there's my saving grace in front of me. Roxxi she not afraid of anyone she once dislocated jameson's shoulder after he stuck gum in my hair for the third time. Ah shit roxie here say something cool don't sound like an idiot now she staring at me oh shit just realized i've been saying all that out loud…. Your weird roberto… i like weird.

Oh shit she likes weird what does that even mean ah panic mode

Ah shut up demon now give me the homework … no tits mine you should have done... agh why does your neanderthalic brain always resort to punching . ah class is starting.. 45 minutes learning how to read when i already know how to read. Dammit ms.howey can't you make english you know less boring. well at least it gave me time to learn to levitate my book.. And throwe thing with my mind. Teach that neanderthal.

Second period is geography of the world i love this class the teacher mr.o'brien is a great teacher at 46 years old he's been all over the world . today we're learning about sandira and the the animals that live there. Sometimes i dream of taking an air ship and flying it to the other parts of the world's. The i also think that requires me to leave my room.

Third period gym ah the mandatory class that everyone hates except bone heads who like grueling physical labor. Ms.poppie is one of those gym teachers who so preppy and upbeat in attitude butt she talks to us like we're in the third grade. Any ways here comes my most dreaded class as now i have to get into gym clothes with out the other students knowing i wear a binder. Ms poppie knows about my problem but she say she can't show any favoritism so i'm forced to change in the male locker rooms with the others. This is going to be fun as i get changed that the easy part i just run to a bathroom stall and change in there .. easy right wrong as while i'm changed i have to get out without the other boys knowing or they will ask all those questions that i hate and this binder is really uncomfortable under a baggy t shirt for gym and baggy sweat pants. Sitting on the bleachers as she explains we will be doing mandatory physical exams like u know run a mile pacer those test i hate them where all the other boys exsell i fail horribly. I'm not strong so pushups sit ups and lifting weights are out . and last time i did the pacer and mile i passed out as running in a binder make it hard to breath. Lack of oxygen generally makes u pass out so this will be fun. At least envy's in this class. 45 minutes and me being sent to the nurse means i'm done with gym. Why did i get sent will remember the lack of oxygen ya one of the girls found me passed out i'll half to talk to her as she dragged me to the nurse thank u hailee. You saved me she this gothic girl whose merida's friend she really smart and has a job can u belive it she works a normal jo.

After third period it's lunch. I st alone and eat my food off in the corner as to avoid attention. After lunch is the most embarrassing class of the day

Health class the teacher is none other than one

ms.Nova suneko nightmare my mother father damit omnibuses are weird. All gose well as mom tries to keep class incontrol while discussing how lust demons feed off lust and desires and in some special cases how much they feed can affect how they grow.

[sineala]

Sine, Sine! I'm sorry to bother you, but do you have any good tips for writing 616 Tony! I just love your characterization so much :)

Oh, boy, an opportunity to talk about my fave! I was actually sitting here thinking, gosh, I hope someone asks me to write meta about my favorite characters sometime soon! And then you did, so thank you, anon! (And thank you, I’m glad you like my characterization.)

Uh. This got long.

I don’t know if what you want are tips on writing 616 Tony as distinct from other Tonys, or 616 Tony as distinct from other people in his universe, but I will try to hit both.

If you haven’t read Elspethdixon’s 616 Steve/Tony ship manifesto, you really should, because it contains the most important tip for writing 616 Tony, namely: Tony hates himself. A lot. Self-loathing is the background radiation of Tony Stark’s life.

The second most important thing, which you will also learn from that ship manifesto, and which you already knew, is that Tony Stark has a suit of Iron Man armor. Now, in MCU, we know that the way this goes is that Tony spends most of his life fucking around and being rich and wasted and making weapons until he gets captured in Afghanistan, takes a bunch of shrapnel to the chest, and decides to devote himself to superheroing. He has a secret identity that lasts… until the end of Iron Man 1. He is Iron Man, and it’s made him reevaluate his life. Also, he probably doesn’t hate himself. As much. I will leave that discussion to people who are more into MCU than I am.

616 Tony, on the other hand, becomes Iron Man when he’s really, really young. Like, early twenties. He doesn’t spend decades in dissolution. Vietnam is his impetus to become a superhero, yes, but it’s really not the same thing at all. By the time we get to modern canon this means he’s spent basically his entire adult life being a responsible superhero, and now he’s busy mentoring the next generation of superheroes – Kamala, Sam, and Miles while he was alive, and Riri now that he’s dead. (”Dead.” Comatose. Whatever.)

But the way that Tony’s self-loathing intersects with Iron Man is that he does the secret identity thing. No one knows. No one knows for years. Even after Steve finds out in the early 80s, most of the team doesn’t know for at least a decade after that. The public doesn’t find out until the early 2000s. (Twice. It’s complicated.) So even if you look at him now and see a guy with a public identity, you should realize that this is a very recent development in his life.

A lot of superheroes have tension between their caped and non-caped identities. Steve, for example, has a bunch of angst about trying to be Steve Rogers, a regular guy, versus Captain America, and how to live up to that, and how much of a regular life he should try to have. This is not Tony’s problem, as Tony’s regular life is… pretty out of the ordinary, as these things go. No, Tony uses his identity as Iron Man to fuel his self-loathing.

Iron Man is a hero. Iron Man saves people. Everything that is good about Tony, Tony puts in a box and calls it Iron Man. He compartmentalizes. (I could probably write a whole other post about how Tony’s a control freak.) Iron Man’s fine, and Tony develops a drinking problem. (Demon In A Bottle actually happened while Tony had a secret identity, and included him deciding that he was sick of being Tony Stark and was just going to be Iron Man.) While with someone else it might not be a bad thing to say that Iron Man is all the best parts of him… that doesn’t leave a lot to be Tony. And he doesn’t really like the parts that are left.

However, I think Tony Stark is still a really good guy. I mean, early canon is early canon, sure, but even as a boss he’s always depicted as, basically, the most benevolent face of capitalism you could possibly imagine. Like, the fantasy job that was available in the fifties and sixties where a dude could support a family of four and buy a nice house in the suburbs and then retire with a generous pension? A SI job is clearly that job. He knows his employees’ names, all of them, and he just seems deeply concerned about them, all the time. And, hey, how about that time he let the Avengers move into his house and never leave, huh? :)

Also he’s… not really a playboy, as I would use the term. During the early years, when he was dependent on the chestplate, he certainly used it as a cover, and we see him deliberately keeping himself from getting close to people because he was just going to die and make them sad (no really), as well as presumably to preserve his identity. We see him wishing that he could get closer to people because he has so much love to give! In the romantic relationships we’ve seen him in, he’s generally very devoted, occasionally more than the other person is, occasionally to the point of creepiness. (Okay, that’s not really one of his best traits.) He falls hard and fast. He just falls in love a lot. He sincerely does. He’s a romantic, even if his persona says otherwise. So, yeah, he has a public persona. Tony Stark is a public persona. It’s pretty evident that that’s not really him, either.

He’s not as quippy as MCU Tony, or as all-around warm-and-fuzzy nice as AA or MA:A Tony, or as utterly flamboyantly campy as Ults Tony (although, man, if you want to talk about drinking problems, go see Ults Tony). If you’re writing his internal voice, I tend to go with a fair amount of obscenities (more than Steve, anyway), and bring your science metaphors to the party if you got ‘em.

But, yeah, the self-loathing. I like to joke that you can tell it’s a good Iron Man comic if Tony is naked and crying, possibly in the rain, because he thinks none of his friends love him. (By this criterion, Iron Age and Execute Program are very good.) Possibly contingent upon the self-loathing, he never passes up an opportunity for self-sacrifice. Sure, any superhero worth his or her salt will happily die to save others – it’s part of the character type – but they all have to get in line behind Tony, who will be there killing himself first. Possibly several times. As many times as it takes. You know that moment in Red Zone where Tony rips off his helmet, exposing himself to deadly flesh-eating bacteria, to give Steve CPR and save Steve’s life, because Captain America is more important than him? That’s Tony Stark. I will also once again point to Execute Program, where Tony literally stops his heart to save Steve. He really likes killing himself for Steve.

I guess other than the self-loathing the main trait I think of as characteristic of 616 Tony is the sense of responsibility, and yeah, I do mean that in the Spider-Man “with great power” sense. He’s a founding Avenger. He knows what he’s doing. If you’re writing an MCU or an Ults story, say, there are a lot of things you could put the Avengers or the Ultimates up against that they’ve never seen before, and they might freak out. Just a little. (When the Ultimates first fight the Chitauri, Tony nearly gives up. He’s just a regular guy. He’s having a hard time dealing with this stuff.) But the thing about 616 is that it’s going to take a lot to make the Avengers, and by extension 616 Tony, freak out about anything. Their lives are weird. So, yeah, he’s seen it all, he’s vastly experienced, he’s been a professional superhero for ten or twelve years now – which, unlike in MCU, means it’s more or less his whole adult life – and he’s going to step up and take charge and do whatever needs to be done.

As an illustration of both his sense of responsibility and the degree to which he regards Tony and Iron Man as two different people, I want to point you to Iron Man v3, the Secretary of Defense arc. Following Red Zone, in which it was revealed that the Red Skull was the previous Secretary of Defense (616 governments are terrifying, okay?), Tony has been nominated to replace him. And we see his Senate hearing, and one of the senators has reservations about Tony’s suitability, based on his public persona. (This arc happens shortly after the first time the public learns Tony is Iron Man.) And this is Tony’s response:

Senator: We can’t let you loose in the Pentagon. You’ll turn it into a cult of personality and you’ll never listen to this body again! You’re too smart for school, Mr. Stark. You make up your own rules. For legal behavior. For being honest with people. I won’t even get into your personal life…

Tony: Is there a question in there, Senator?

Senator: It’s all a question! Why should anyone think that Tony Stark would put this nation’s safety before his own personal aggrandizement?

Tony: Because I’ve been doing that for years! Because I’m Iron Man – and I never ONCE took the credit!

Senator: What exactly do you mean, Mr. Stark?

Tony: Just what I said, Senator. “I’m Iron Man – and I never took the credit.”

Tony: Did I try to associate his positive image with my companies? Yes, I did. But that’s all. I never, ever asked for a direct reward for anything I ever did as Iron Man.

Tony: And for every life I told you I saved as Iron Man, there are tens – hundreds – that I’ve kept to myself. To save lives, I have traveled far. Farther than any of you will ever go. I have traveled to dark places. All alone, away from anyone who could see, hear, or help. I have staved off threats that you will never, ever hear about. The simple knowledge of them would wreak more fear and ruin on the world than I could ever hope to gain from them.

Tony: Yes, Tony Stark is Iron Man. But Iron Man is not about Tony Stark. Iron Man is about everyone else… and if Tony Stark is Defense Secretary, it’ll work the same way. That’s all I have to say. Thank you.

(This is IM v3 #76 & #78, BTW. We get half the speech during the hearing, and then half in boxes later while we see Iron Man risking his life to save people. Tony gets the SecDef job.)

So I think that speech basically sums up 616 Tony. He’s Iron Man, and he never took the credit. And that’s who 616 Tony Stark is, to me. It’s not just that he’s about accountability, as the MCU arc goes; it’s true that he’s also about accountability, but he’s about accountability not as something he’s finally learned but as a part of the core of his character from the very beginning, as a part of being responsible and doing the right thing and saving people. And not needing to take the credit.

I hope that helps answer your question!