#i just want to have good things again *sobs*

[leafzu]

“Stop that!” panic rose in your chest as you held Zayne's head close to your chest. His body severely injured. Barely moving.

One pull at the trigger and the bullet will go straight through his head. Caleb kept the gun pointing at Zayne.

“Caleb please stop!,” you cried. “Why are you doing this?” “I want to build a world where it's just the two of us.” He stepped forward. “Why can't you see that?”

“Let him go.” Your cries fell on deaf ears. “Please.”

Still Caleb wasn't completely heartless when it came it you. He hated the fact that you were in so much pain because of him. No, it was because of Zayne. If he wasn't here, it would've been just you and Caleb, just like he always wanted.

He had to go.

Your grip on Zayne's body tightened as Caleb once again put his finger on the trigger and pointed it to Zayne.

“What is he to you?” Your tear stained face looked up at him. “Answer me.”

“He's all I have, please, Caleb.”

That answer was enough to make Caleb's heart full of rage. He was infuriated.

“And me? Don't you have me?” He stepped forward with his finger still on the trigger, pointed at Zayne.

“Am I not important to you at all?” His voice sounded hurt almost, pain laced with it. “All I ever thought about while being away from you, was you.”

Zayne could've get out of here with you. He could have but he did not. If he's evol got out of control, he could've ended up hurting you. That's when Caleb took advantage of him and pinned him down to his feet. But Zayne didn't care. He would die for you.

“Please Caleb,” you sobbed. “Let us go.” “I will let him go.” Caleb leaned down to you. “But you,” he inched his face closer to yours. “You stay with me.” “N-No don't.” Zayne's grip on one of your hands tightened.

“Hmph.” Your stomach was burning from fear and pain. “This isn't going to do.” Your grip on Zayne tightened. “N-No please Caleb.”

The next thing you knew Caleb grabbed you by the arm and pulled you to him, walking away from Zayne. The grip he had on your hands loosened letting you go. Zayne's vision got blurry, dark cold icicles covered his skin.

Your cries were the last thing he heard.

- I don't know how this turned out, I'm not good at writing plots and stories. This scenario just came to my mind and I quickly wrote it. Nothing against Caleb, I'm just at chap 1 of Caleb's return story. Hope you guys liked this.

Also, not proofread.

Dark divider credit - @/moonpascal | snow divider credit - @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[haveihitanerve]

This brilliant little backstage scene deserves to be shared with the world and because i am who i am i also have to add my thoughts- once again, ignore them and just watch the vid if you so please :)

Tim casually sprinting away, what a delightful man :) 

The way they have like… feet on either side of the stage, lots of space, but Tom and Sam are sitting right next to each other, absolutely not even an inch between them, legs and arms touching, talking about best first dates??? My heart😭

“Mainly… balance.” Both Tom and Sam’s shoulders moving in the same way when they laugh- 

The way Tom is looking at Sam while listening-

“That would be amazing!” “that sounds awful.” the dichotomy lmaooo

“One of us? There's four of us?” Sam i love you so much- he automatically thinks of the other two not present they are like so close i'm gonna cry-

“I always think of the collective.” 😭💗💗

“How do you not understand how basic conversation works?” ribbing each other, the way true friends do, beautiful

Sam: *makes unidentifiable noises back to mock him*

“Tom!” The way Tom’s head snaps over to look at AJ, and Sam peters out to look over too. So responsive 😭

“I'm so glad we’re committing to that.” Tom i love you-

AJ just being the Tech King while Sam casually helps. Idk its domestic and cute ok leave me alone..

Tom’s “oooooh.” as AJ changes the lights- while casually not helping and being on his phone as Sam and AJ figure out the lights (jk hes probably doing admin stuff but its funny)

Joe: *slams into a chair* ow. Sam: *snickers* its a bit dark in the room AJ: *scoff laughs back*

The way they debrief is just amazing idk why but its so cute to see, they're supportive but still critical, but like constructively critical, and still supportive of each other. Plus the metaphors are great, and the laughing at each other

“Each of their… utterances.” The way AJ is smiling at Tom i cant-

“JAMES was a good man before we lost him.” “killed him.” XD

Gotta be honest maybe they were just showing the best clip, but the A-Z game is pretty fucking good. I think its the audience’s fault tbh, they're not hype enough

The explanation of how games come to be and how they figure it out is sooo good, im always nerdy and want to learn the thoughts/plans/processes behind it all so thank you!!!

“He says softly. Lets go get you onto a mechanical bull.” Sam contemplating what on earth to do with that. “NI HAO!” aaaand there comes AJ out of left field, perfect. Sam now utterly baffled, glorious

“That was joyous! That was good!” Sam coming in saying it was good when AJ and Tom were just complaining- but the way he immediately catches that they didn't feel exactly as confident about it as he did and going “no?” to just check and make sure, looking between both and not just one- brb crying they're such good friends he picks up on that-

Aj’s look at the camera lol “👀do you see this man?”

“Did that go alright?” the immediate reassurance they gave him-

“It feels like you have to start fucking-” “rowing.” finishing each others sentences and a good metaphor- i'm fine

AJ and Sam arguing as DaVinci and Michelangelo gives me life-

“It turns out i just made up a word.” idk who cameraman joe is, but i love him. Real

“Thats the straight white guy philosophy. Say it with confidence and keep walking.” I love how they address it and yet can joke about it, really refreshing 💗

“Stay safe, stay sexy.” thank you Sam, thats my life moto from now on

“And AJ anything from you?”... “I had a really fun time!” Yay!!!

“I’m pissed off. My clues.. were fucking genius. And the audience.. didn't get ‘em” Yes Aj, you tell ‘em!

“And the guys.. *voice crack/half sob* didn't even bother to try and like- *near tears* fucking- make a thing like-” *laughs* oh AJ, poor baby XD

“They just looked at me and then went: “i have a different clue!” Great!” sadness AJ, its ok, they still love you lol

Tom and Sam both in the same position watching AJ’s “genius clues” -Sam’s face of utter confusion and Tom just watching in interest trying to understand it at all

“You know, I also have a clue-” AJ’s slight smile. “I’m very glad because I have no idea what the fuck that was-” AJ having to laugh slightly at that

“Fucking shit im out of here!” *tries to do the cool storm out, but is also checking to see if he left anything behind, kinda ruining it XD*

“I have to know about the Nazi chinchilla-” firstly its wonderful explanation??? I guess, kinda makes sense- but let me just point out to you lovely people that Aj, in the background, downs his beer, steps up right behind Sam, and then takes his beer and also drinks his, and Sam just watches and nods- they’re too fucking cute what the heck-

Also AJ’s face mocking Sam in the background as he starts to explain- idk what prompted it, but it was hilarious

“What was the rant about?” “My clues were fucking great-” Sam: *starts cackling like ‘sure buddy, sure’*

“I got that one! I said that!” defending that he understands his friend- 😭

“I got it. I appreciated that one.” Calms AJ down slightly, so cute

Sam: *slips in advertisement as AJ casually blames the audience*

Aj and Sam’s hug at the end😭 cuties

Anyway thats it :) they're cute and yeah. 

also! where was luke??????

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Mitsuhide Akechi's Sequel

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

Spoilers ahead. This is a full translation. Not Proofread.

After countless fleeting kisses, the candle burned out, leaving the room in darkness.

Mitsuhide: "Mai, it's time to sleep."

Mai: "Are you leaving already?"

Mitsuhide: "I'll stay by your side until you fall asleep."

I looked up at his gentle smile, and a sense of helplessness welled up within me.

(He'll stay while I'm awake, only to leave once I fall asleep.)

Mai: "You always say goodbye so kindly."

Mai: "I'm pretty sure you'll head out into the storm alone while I'm lost in a dream."

Mitsuhide: "You look lovely even when you cry. But I'd rather have your smile as the last thing I see."

Mitsuhide: "Now, close your eyes."

(I don't want to steal any more of his time.)

Urged by his words, I lay down on the futon.

Gathering all my strength, I looked up at him one last time before closing my eyes.

Mai: "Mitsuhide, take care."

Mitsuhide: "Yeah, I'm off."

The sound of birds chirping woke me abruptly.

(It's morning already. It's so quiet.)

The storm had passed, and the room was bathed in the light of dawn.

(He really left without waking me, just like always.)

Mitsuhide's haori was lying on the floor nearby.

(Did he try to drape it over me?)

Right now, I'm not allowed to form connections with the people of this era.

The haori must have slipped off my shoulders and fallen onto the futon.

(How did he feel when he saw that?)

A crushing sensation tightened around my chest, and I bit down hard on my lip.

(I don't want to cry. I've cried more tears than I can bear already.)

Mitsuhide left Azuchi to search for a way to save me.

Time may be running out, but there's still hope.

(This was the right choice.)

(I know that with all my heart, so why does the loneliness of his absence pierce through me like a blade?)

(It's okay to feel hurt.)

(Because this pain is a testament to my time with Mitsuhide.)

Outside, the weather was unbelievably beautiful, but in my heart, the storm still raged.

(What if he doesn't make it in time? What if I don't recover?)

(If that happens, I'll never see him again.)

Mai: ".........."

I desperately stifled a sob that was about to escape.

(No matter what happens, I won't regret it.)

(I can't imagine a life where I never met him.)

(I'm glad I met him.)

Mai: "I love you, Mitsuhide."

Caught between the weight of despair and the faintest grain of hope, I whispered those words.

The shocking news came a few days later.

Ranmaru: "Lady Mai, am I walking too fast? Are you keeping up?"

Mai: "I'm fine."

I replied to Ranmaru and rang the small bell hanging from my necklace just to be sure.

Ranmaru: "Thanks for answering. I can clearly hear your voice."

Mai: "I see. That's good."

Relieved, I tightly gripped the bell on my necklace.

For the past few days, I've become completely invisible to everyone.

(I can't afford to let go of this bell, not even for a moment now.)

Mai: "What do you think this emergency meeting is about?"

Ranmaru: "I have no idea, but Lord Nobunaga gave strict orders to ensure you're present."

(Me?)

Ranmaru: "I have such a bad feeling about this. I almost don't want to take you along."

(Ranmaru is so kind.)

Mai: "Thanks. But I'll be fine."

Mai: "If you have a bad feeling, that's all the more reason for me to hear what's going on."

(Even if I'm scared, I have to keep my eyes open.)

Ranmaru: "I figured you weren't the type to say no anyway."

After giving me a wry smile, Ranmaru's expression grew serious.

Ranmaru: "Let's hurry. The other warlords are probably already there."

Mai: "Okay."

Mai: "Excuse me."

Even though I knew they couldn't see me, I gave a deep bow before sitting in the seat Ranmaru showed me.

Mitsunari: "It seems everyone is present now."

Hideyoshi: "Mai, how are you feeling? Any problem?"

Mai: "Thank you. I'm doing well, thanks to everyone's support."

As I answered, I rang the bell on my necklace louder so they could pinpoint my location.

Ieyasu: "That bell is pretty handy. Maybe I should put one on Wasabi too."

Ieyasu: "Make sure you don't lose it, okay? Searching for you every time would be a pain."

Masamune: "If you're worried, just admit it."

Ieyasu: "I'm not worried."

Keiji: "He's just saying he trusts you won't give up easily."

Ieyasu: "Don't twist my words, will you?"

Still, something felt off.

(It's like they're forcing themselves to act cheerful for my sake.)

Seizing the pause in their conversation, I turned toward Nobunaga.

Mai: "Lord Nobunaga, why did you call me to this emergency meeting?"

Nobunaga: "Let's get to the main topic."

At his words, the room fell completely silent.

Nobunaga: "Hideyoshi."

Hideyoshi: "Yes."

Hideyoshi: "Mai, you're aware that ever since the attack, rebellions have been breaking out frequently in neighboring regions, right?"

Mai: "Yes."

Hideyoshi: "There were numerous small-scale rebellions led by lords of minor domains, ronin, bandits, and lawless people."

Hideyoshi: "But now, someone's shown up who's managed to bring all these random groups together."

(What?)

Ranmaru: "Could it be Kicho and Motonari?"

Hideyoshi: "If it had been them, it would've been a hundred times better."

Masamune & Keiji: "…………"

Ieyasu & Mitsunari: "…………"

Everyone's faces twisted bitterly.

(Don't tell me…)

Nobunaga: "It's just as you've suspected."

Nobunaga: "The leader of the rebellion is Mitsuhide."

(No way!)

Mai: "Why? What reason could Mitsuhide possibly have to side with the…"

I was about to finish my sentence when a wave of goosebumps swept over me.

(There's a reason.)

The warlords' grim expressions told me they had reached the same conclusion as I had.

(He really is a liar.)

The sound of my heartbeat thumped loudly in my ears.

That night, Mitsuhide had bared his heart to me but kept the most important secret.

(His true purpose.)

Mitsuhide: "Quite the spectacle, isn't it?"

In the plains near Azuchi, the rebel army had set up camp, where the rebel generals sat face-to-face with their newly appointed leader, Mitsuhide.

The group, brimming with the tension of battle, made no effort to hide their excitement.

Rebel General 1: "Lord Mitsuhide, let my unit take the vanguard! We'll claim the enemy's head!"

Rebel General 2: "Hah! What does a bumpkin lord know about war? We'll lead the charge ourselves."

Rebel General 3: "Don't get cocky, you ronin scum. When it comes to killing, we're the experts."

Mitsuhide: "Now, now, gentlemen, let's keep it cool."

Rebel Generals: "……….."

At Mitsuhide's single command, the rebels fell silent.

Even so, they remained wary of one another, their piercing glares refusing to relent.

After a tense pause, one of them finally spoke up, his tone laced with dissatisfaction.

Rebel General 1: "Lord Mitsuhide, I get that numbers matter, but why'd you bring together such a shady bunch?"

Mitsuhide: "Each of them has caught my attention for some time."

Mitsuhide: "The men here have the courage to take on Nobunaga."

Rebel General 3: "Heh, easy for you to say. If we hadn't listened to you, we'd be having our heads pecked off by crows right now."

Rebel General 2: "We'll grab whatever hand we need to take down Nobunaga, even if it belongs to a cunning fox. That's all there is to it."

Despite their words, each general cast fearful glances toward Mitsuhide.

A disorganized rabble of soldiers, barely held together, was being forged into an army by this man with eyes cold as ice.

Mitsuhide: "Let me make one thing clear. From this point forward, any act of treachery will not be tolerated."

Mitsuhide: "If you don't wish to die a pointless death, I suggest you remain obedient."

(Mitsuhide's purpose in uniting the rebel army…)

My blood ran cold, and I was unable to speak.

Mitsunari: "The total number of soldiers in the rebel army is expected to be several times ours."

Mitsunari: "However, even if these troops clash with the well-trained Oda warriors, there's no way it'll be a fair fight."

Ieyasu: "There's no way he doesn't understand that."

Ieyasu: "It's all part of his plan."

Hideyoshi: "Recently, some of the rebels have been raiding towns and villages to gather supplies and funds for the army."

Hideyoshi: "But that suddenly stopped a little while ago. Mitsuhide must've gotten the unruly ones under control and forced them into line."

Masamune: "Those pests, no matter how many times you crush them, they just keep appearing, but Mitsuhide has managed to suppress them and gather them into a swarm."

Masamune: "He plans to throw them all directly into the Oda forces and take everyone down with him."

(Take everyone down...)

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't.

Everyone's thoughts mirrored my own instinct exactly.

None of us believe that Mitsuhide betrayed us.

(Who would have thought that we'd have to confirm our mutual trust in this way?)

Keiji: "So, he became the leader of the enemy forces to put an end to this prolonged war, huh?"

Keiji: "It's a flashy move, but I can't bring myself to praise it."

Hideyoshi: "Does that fool not know the meaning of choosing your own methods!?"

Ranmaru: "This is just outrageous!"

Ranmaru: "He knows exactly how Lady Mai feels, how we all feel, and yet…"

Using us like pieces on a chessboard was something only Mitsuhide could pull off.

(But there had to be other ways to take down the rebel army and stop Kicho and Motonari's plans.)

Nobunaga: "Kicho and Motonari must be sighing in regret by now."

Mai: "Mitsuhide didn't do this just to make the Oda army crush the rebels."

Nobunaga: "What?"

Mai: "It's my fault."

Mai: "Mitsuhide figured out how to cure me."

------------Flashback-----------

Sasuke: "The fact that Mitsuhide's name is starting to disappear from the travel guide suggests that possibility."

Sasuke: "If Mitsuhide vanishes from history, the cause of divine punishment will be gone, and you'll surely return to normal."

---------Flashback Ends--------

(Mitsuhide must have started making contact under the guise of a rebellion as soon as the rebel armies began to form.)

(Seeing through Kicho and Motonari's schemes, and with my condition worsening, Mitsuhide must have chosen to implement this plan to resolve everything at once.)

Nobunaga: "Mai, Tell me everything."

Mitsuhide: "Kyubei, I'd like to write a letter. Could you leave the tent for a moment?"

Kyubei: "Understood."

Mitsuhide: "You don't look pleased. I told you to stay in Azuchi, didn't I?"

Kyubei: "If I'd stayed in Azuchi, who would deliver this letter to Lady Mai?"

Mitsuhide: "Good grief. A vassal who's too sharp can be a real hassle."

Kyubei: "I think it's still far better than having a too-sharp lord."

Mitsuhide: "I suppose you're right."

Kyubei: "I apologize. I spoke out of turn."

Mitsuhide: "I'm counting on you, Kyubei."

Mitsuhide: "Once everything is over, please deliver my will to Mai."

Kyubei: "........."

Kyubei bowed deeply in silence before leaving.

Eventually, Mitsuhide picked up his brush and wrote, bleeding his true feelings onto the paper.

Mai. As I write this, I am once again reminded of your strength in being able to express your true feelings so honestly.

I've learned from you that such honesty is not something easily done.

The other day, I overheard you telling Masamune that you would leave Azuchi, so I took the liberty of examining that historical book you kept hidden while you were away.

I'm sure, by now, you've realized that I've figured out your secret.

Mai, I have no hesitation. No regrets.

The only thing I regret is that you aren't by my side.

I love you and the world you live in more than anything.

If I could, I would've lived alongside you.

A few hours later.

Mitsuhide: "Well then, everyone. Do you have no regrets?"

The soldiers at the front of the army roared in response.

Mitsuhide: "We're launching a full-scale attack on the Oda forces, so make your mark on history in this battle."

Mitsuhide: "Now, to battle!"

🦊 Previous Part 💔 Tragic Ending

[siriuslysapphicmoony]

First dance — word count: 809

tw: references to period typical homophobia

@wolfstarmicrofic

Sirius is the person who cries the most at the Potters’ wedding. More than Euphemia, more than Lily’s mum, more than Mary, even more than James.

And yes, it’s because they're perfect for each other, it's because they're so happy they're glowing, it's because there’s a war going on and this is a very much needed reminder that good things exist as well.

Sirius is sobbing because of all of that, but there's also the other reason. The one he can't even fathom saying out loud.

See, the moment his sobs are at their worst is not when his sight is on the happy couple. Sirius sobs the hardest each time his gaze finds Remus.

It's a kind of sorrow that is hard to describe, that one can only understand if they experience it themselves.

It's that excruciating, all consuming longing, of craving the same thing for himself and the person that is currently sniffing at his side, trying his hardest to hold back tears.

It's that harrowing, loud void that had taken place in his chest the moment he had realised (when James had proposed to Lily) that the only reason he had ever thought he hated the mere concept of marriage had been because of what it meant for his family. It's the sudden, startling realisation that he would absolutely love the idea of marriage if it was something he could have with the person currently standing by his side.

“Do not despair, sweetheart. He's just getting married, you're still his platonic soulmate.”

Remus’ joking attempt at soothing him sends him over the edge all over again and more sobs break through.

Great, now all those attending the wedding will know he's not as badass as he wants them to believe. How is he ever going to survive that?

“‘s not that,” he mumbles anyway between sniffs.

He feels Remus’ hand graze softly against his. Sirius grabs it like an anchor. Not caring about who might see, what might they think. He doesn't care. There's so much he isn't allowed. He at least gets to have this.

By the time the first dance comes around, Sirius has recovered just enough. He has fixed his eyeliner and he's determined not to cry anymore.

Then James and Lily step on the dancefloor, they swirl to their favourite song and Sirius is once again ruined.

He can't help the sob that escapes him. The unreasonable grief where there should only be joy for his friends.

His mind goes miles away. He imagines himself slow dancing with Remus, at their own wedding, at their own first dance, surrounded by their friends and families, celebrating their love. And he wants it. He craves it. Oh, he so desperately wants it.

Remus is at his side once again and this time he's the one silently reaching out, subtly embracing him, surely thinking he can pass it off as a friendly embrace.

“Are you alright, love?” he asks in his deep, concerned voice.

Sirius considers lying, but opts for the truth. He shakes his head meekly, another sob shaking him.

“I want this, Remus,” he confesses. “I hadn't fully realised it until today, but I want this. All of this. Marriage, a house, kids. I want the whole deal.”

Remus frowns a bit. “What are you saying…?” And damn, he looks scared now. He thinks Sirius wants to leave him for a traditional marriage.

“No, silly,” he sobs once more, a breathy laugh escaping him at the absurdity, a sad smile on his lips. “I don't mean it like that. I want it with you, but we aren't allowed and it's bloody destroying me.”

“Oh.”

It's almost comical to see all of the emotions that go through Remus' face. It goes from surprise, to adoration, to sadness and everything in between.

“I love you so much, Sirius,” he vows, gaze focused on him, the rest of the world forgotten. “Me too,” is what he says next. “I also want it all. With you.”

And that's the saddest thing, isn't it? They want the same thing for each other and yet they live in a world that won't let them have it. It's a crushing realisation. Discovering something you've known all along, but have never fully realised the whole weight of it, just how much it defines your life, that something someone has arbitrarily decided long ago has the power to determine the whole course of your lives. It's painful, it's unfair, it's soul-sucking, it's enraging, it's rubbish.

For how powerful his magic is, he feels completely powerless in front of the way the rest of the world sees their love. All he can do is hold on to Remus and silently promise himself that he'll do everything in his power to get them what so many couples have the luxury of taking for granted.

[flo-zoinks]

How would the gang react if you reveal ur a time traveler

Okily dokily!!!!

HOW EACH RDR2 GNG MEMBER WOULD REACT TO YOU BEING A TIME-TRAVELER (MY OPINION)

This is VERY vague. So I'm going to imagine this scenario you're from 1920 USA with lots of inside info on the vld gang cuz theres more I can do w that lol, and a person similar to John in terms of age/likeness/physicality. Imagine this is aprx chap 2.

Arthur - probably not have many questions really, just ask you why you'd come to this time of all times (he thinks you're stupid)

Hosea - only asks if John finally left with his family, and if everything actually does fall to bits. Doesn't really care for asking how he dies himself - In fact he doesn't want you to tell him

Dutch - Immediately asks if he dies for an ideal, or if he becomes someone of great reverence post mortem. When he doesn't like the answer he says he can't be kept by the lines society has decided for him so will disobey and flee "like Cain was once he was shun"

Reverend - says you're either deep in substances or have demons in you. Insists you must be a satanic lunatic and leaves with his head up. Later drunk he reveals he worries you're real and asks if God ever gives him a chance

Pearson - "heh...lemme guess...I'm in the books..ain't I?" "Ok you're lying though"

Sadie - asks when she will die and see Jake, and (if before this) asks if she gets to avenge his death

Charles - questions only on the land, and if the colonists finally destroy all of it by then, and on behalf of the natives. Otherwise tells you he's not interested in what will be otherwise

Micah - knows he's in the history books, so just walks off trying to be nonchalant. "Then I guess you know who I am.." (hes really close and breathing quite loudly)

Abigail - forgets herself to bombard you with questions about Jack and John, if they ever move away, if Jack grows up proper and they live till old. She starts sobbing after

Jack (1907) - wants to know if he becomes a writer, then whilst embarrassed quietly asks if his Father stays for real this time. Later tells you about a book he read with a similar premise. Your answer makes him quiet and hee doesnt speak for a while

John - Can't even think of what to ask, so just says like "ok- do-" then says he'll get back to you when he has something good to ask. Later: "wait-wait I got a good one... (some stupid question about future inventions)"

Trelawny - "I am a magician, too! I suppose we are both similar as such.." however he gets too freaked out and goes back to his family for a while

Javier - IMMEDIATELY only wants to know about the Mexican Revolution; was it successful? Did his family live? Does he return to Mexico? He refuses to believe your answer about him in Mexico in 1911 working for the government, insisting he would never pick that over his own life. Refuses to believe John would be the one to kill him, too. Angrily storms off after threatening you if you spit lies like that again (even if you proved to him ur fr)

Bill - gets scared of you thinking you have some other powers too, but then tries to toughen up and look unafraid. Demands, asks to know if becomes respected and feared in the future. Air punches when he hears he runs his own gang, then just looks straight up HURT hearing John kills him (trying to mask it) "But why wouldn't we be friends?"

Uncle - "you should be well aware then...of when the Lumbago gets to me.. where in the history books is that?"

Molly - quietly asks if everyone grows to like her (very embarrassed). She gets silent after your answer and goes to sit far away in camp for a while. Dutch later says to you that "you better not have put her in some mood"

Karen - says shes too sober for this, promptly grabs a drink and tells you she doesn't have anything to ask, but wishes she did. Avoids you afterwards fearing she was too open with you then.

Tilly - asks if she has a run-in with the foreman boys again. Otherwise then that she asks what cool things have been invented since

Mary-Beth - fascinated by future books, and asks if you have a novel from the future you could show her. She doesn't believe she could ever be a writer so doesn't ask.

Grimshaw - thinks you're a freak for coming here, saying "we are doing just fine! She does inquire about her girls though, if they all do well. She grows very strict with Karen there on, but also nicer

Sean - "do I become the big dog of the camp? Replace ol' king Arthur? Hahaha" a string of random questions , giving you no time to answer each one. He actually walks off before you can answer them thinking of more questions

Lenny - starts thinking if its okay to know about the future before responding, if theres no consequences, or if we as people should be able to. Decides he's better safe then sorry, and asks camp to be responsible. Dutch and him debate this

Kieran - asks if they finally accept him, and if the O'Driscolls come back. Grows very anxious at your response and spends the day cleaning the horses whilst trying to gather his thoughts to act upon.

[vixen7243]

Part 2

Masterlist | Original Thought | Pt. 1

TF141 X AFAB!Reader (Soon)

Tag list: @the-faceless-bride @persephone-kore-law

*Persephone had given the brilliant idea of being closeted bisexual to add to the drama...And of course I'm going to run like a maniac with it because YEESSS, as one myself, I have so many things to put in with this. and hope they/you like how I'm taking the route so far. If anyone would like to be added to tag list let me know, and leave comments on thoughts of ideas or if there's just anything you like so far.🥰 Enjoy the reading.* CW!:SA,VIDEO OF SA, HARRASSMENT, MENTION OF SELF HARM *Oh My God, this is longer than I thought I would do, but by god. This is the set up and hopefully yall like it.*

From early on it was easy for Y/N to realize that she was into girls, secondary school when she was 11 being the biggest case in point when she had her first experience kissing a friend, ‘to see what’s it like’ of course. The giggling was endless, but when she wanted to keep going back for more and seeing that she wasn’t interested in wanting to see what it was like to kiss a boy, she talked to her mom and had a long talk and learned about lesbians, and that she was one from what she was gathering. Her mom was, to say at the very least, unsupportive, and angry, claiming having come from a family that is conservative she told Y/N never to kiss a girl again, never look at girls like that ever again. The fight that broke between them was horrible, and as much as she wanted to call her dad and tell him about what had happened, she was afraid that he would also be upset with her, and maybe disown her, telling her she was never welcome back home. She wished she hadn’t given her mom a chance this year to keep her, but the guilt of having chosen her father ate at her making her think it would do her and her mom some good to spend the year together. Now, she regrated it, regrated it even more when she came to her mom with questions of her feelings and thoughts.  

As time went by, she counted down the days till she could return home, she stayed on the phone most nights with her stepmom, trying to stay positive. Only, the worry started to set in when there was only 3 months left till it would be summer and she could return home. Her stepmom had informed them that she hadn’t heard from her husband, Y/N’s father, and that she was worried for him. With him gone, your mom would be able to keep you longer, due to the fact he was supposed to be picking you up and flying back to Barr.  

Then one day she had gotten a call from her stepmom, broken up with sobs, it was hard for Y/N to understand her, but she could just barely pick up that she had said something about her dad going MIA and visitors? She wasn’t sure, but she was panicked as she went to her mom crying, begging to go back and be with her grandparents and Sharon to wait to hear about her dad. She never understood what had happened between her parents to make them divorce and for her dad to move from America all the way back to Scottland, but whatever it was, she had no doubt her mother was to blame. When she refused, took Y/N’s phone and soon moved, she hated her. Hated her with a passion, tried endlessly to find her grandparents on any social media and Sharon too, but Sharon had kept her last name, and she had no clue what it was. She wished she had asked before, she cried most nights after they had first moved thinking the worst fate for her father, mourning his potential death. She never let her self-stay close to her mom, she shut her out and delved headfirst into her sexuality, dating a girl that she had learned, after they had moved, was gay. As much as her mom wanted to say something, she had to bite her tongue, only because she learned that her girlfriend was the daughter of her new boss.  

That’s certainly not to say that she didn’t making life at home a living hell for Y/N, chores, no phone, took all the money she somehow managed to make by doing yardwork for neighbors and even pet and baby-sitting. Y/N eventually broke up with her girlfriend, when she had realized she did like her at first, everything was now because she was dating her out of spite and loved her more as a friend than romantically. Even though she was angry, Katy understood and, at first, kept a little bit of a distance before becoming great friends. 

When she was 15 and her guy friend came over to work on a project, when she walked into her room after grabbing drinks and snacks, he was laid out on her bed, shirt ridding up showing off his abs. The flutter feeling in her stomach and blush had her freezing in her doorway as she stared at him. What in the hell is happening? Why am I feeling so... 

“Sweet, you brought soda.” When he sat up, you slowly walked in and handed him a can before going to your desk quickly sitting down and trying to hide your face. “So, you want to go through the article, and I’ll look for more websites to use as references?” 

“Sure.” Burying your nose into the papers you had printed earlier that day, you couldn’t stop looking at him, why did he seem so different? He’d been over plenty of times, times when you guys laid in bed watching movies or playing new games, had slept stacked on each other a few times even and you’d never felt anything before. So. Why now? What was different? Why were you feeling how you usually down when you would see an attractive girl that you were crushing on? “Oh god.” 

“What? Can’t find anything?” 

“Huh? Oh, no, nothing.” You chewed your lip, cursing to yourself when you felt him lean against your shoulder, he was reading the page, but you felt his breath against your neck, could ever so faintly hear him mumbling under his breath as he read, and it was making the hair on the back of your neck stand. When he finally went back to his spot on your bed you let out the breath you hadn’t known you were holding. Trying to refocus on the work at hand, you tuned him out and got a few pages of writing down before debriefing him on what you wrote and handing it to him so that way, he could add to it with whatever he had been able to find. 

While he was packing up his back you cleaned up the cans and wrappers before watching him, non to subtly. “What’s the matter? You’ve been staring at me on and off all evening?”  

You shook your head, although he was your friend, he wasn’t close enough that you would ever tell him that you were feeling things, things that you only feel for girls, since you were gay... or you thought all this time and had been. But now here he was out of the blue riling things up inside of you. “It’s nothing.” He was popular in your school, the same group of girls that had tormented you and bullied you since you had come out had the biggest crushes on him, and most importantly, Sam, the head bitch, had dated him for a while and hated that he hung out with you. If you told him, you started feeling... conflicting feeling towards him, things that you haven’t yet processed properly, he’d tell his friend, because he couldn’t keep anything to himself and then they would go around spreading things about you behind your back. 

“Yeah right, just tell me?” When you avoided looking at him, he sighed, “You heard then huh?” 

“What?” 

“That Sam and I are back together.” Looking at him surprised you scowled, “We talked out some issues, and figured why not try again.” 

“Didn’t she -” 

“We talked things out.” He cut you off standing up. 

“She sucked your cousins dick.” 

“Y/N” 

“He took a video and spread it all through the school.” 

“And we talked about that, it’s none of your business anyways.” He waited at beat before squinting at you slightly, “Do you have a thin fer me?” 

“WhAt?” You looked at him wide-eyed and mouth open, “Why would you ask me that? Ye know I-” 

“Sam said you have been looking at me differently lately and that we’ve been spending time together too-” 

“We’re working on a project together.” 

“I told her that... you're not denying that you’ve been looking at me differently.” 

Scowling you crossed your arms over your chest huffing, “Because that’s insane Jake. Ye know I’m lesbian, I’ve never been into guys. Ever.” When he opened his mouth to say something you quickly spoke up, “And even if in some other bizarre world, why would I start liking ye?” 

He glared at you at that, “What the hells that supposed to mean?” 

“Yer not special Jake, pretty fucking typical and boring, why would I have a thin fer ye?” You wanted to bite your tongue off, you’d never been to mean to anyone other than Sam and her little click, but you vouched that, that’s because they deserved it.  

“Fuck you Y/N.” He snatched up his back and walked out, you took a deep breath before collapsing onto your bed sighing. You weren’t sure who to talk to, but you wanted to talk to someone, so, pulling out your laptop you pulled up skype, you’d found a sweet guy that lived in Edinburgh, Scottland, when you were looking for your dad and had become good friends. Dominic, he was gay and your most trusted confidante when it came to anything you needed to talk to someone about. 

“Hey lass, what’s going on?” 

“I’m, surprised you answered, isn’t it like midnight for you?” 

“Yeah, but I can’t sleep, so again, what’s te matter?”  

You leaned back into your pillow and told him what had happened when you first walked back into your room and seeing Jack on your bed to what you had said making him leave. When he stayed quiet you wrapped your arms around your waist, “I’m confused on why I was feeling that way to him and then he wouldn’t shut up about Sam and what she had said about me.... There was so much going on in my head and he was overwhelming me with so much I just went off on him and said what I shouldn’t have.” Looking up at him you whispered, “What’s going on with me?” 

“Oh Christ lass,” he started laughing a bit before shaking his head, “Ye’ve gotta crush on him.” 

“What? But I-” 

“I know, but... from the sounds of it, ye like him. And There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“So, I’m... I’m bi? How? I’ve never liked any guys before? How am I 15 and just now liking a boy... JAKE no less?!” 

His laughter made you sigh, “Late developer. It happens.” You doubted that you were still confused on your feelings but decided you’d just slowly sort yourself out.  

So, for the next few months you broke down your feelings and realized that yup, you were into both guys and girls, and Jake was ignoring you still.... until. There was going to be a party at Sam’s, and your best friend Kieran had pulled you along, you lied to your mom that you were going to her house, and she lied that she was going to yours. When the bother of you walked into her house, Kieran pulled you into the kitchen handing you a cup, when you took a sip you choked huffing, making her laugh, “You never drink before?” 

“No, my god, have you?” 

“Few times, with family, mom would always have a cow though.” She took a swig from her cup before urging you too try and take another drink. After 2 cups, you were slowly feeling the effects before you seen Jack walking to you, Kieran already got the rundown of what had happened and that you had concluded that you were in fact bi now. She just wasn’t sure if you would be so comfortable around him yet. “Want me to distract?” She whispered tucking into your side. 

“No, it’s okay.” You said taking a deep breath before smiling when he stopped in front of the both of you. 

“Hey.” 

He was staring right at you, you felt the blush cover your face, you swallowed thickly, hoping your voice doesn’t betray you and crack, “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Kieran chirped, her smile spreading when he glanced at her for a moment before looking you over. You weren’t the thinnest, you had a little extra meat around your middle and your thighs certainly had no gap, but your confidence helped you feel comfortable wearing the short shorts, tank top and torn flannel that when seen from behind damn near made you look like you weren’t wearing any short at all.  

“Wanted to talk to you in private.” 

Your eyes widened as you looked to Kieran before looking back at him, “Alone? With me? Why?” 

Rolling his eyes he grabbed your wrist turning and pulling him with you, when you felt the cup being pulled from your hand you looked back at Kieran who was giving you thumbs up making a smoochy face before laughing. You looked at the back of Jack’s head anxious, Where are we going? Upstairs? Why? You didn’t pay attention to the people that were watching the two of you disappear up the stairs, your sole focus was Jack and them way he laced his fingers with yours. Despite yourself on a few occasions, he had been an invading guest in some of your fantasies and dreams, that to now feel him pulling you into... oh god, a bedroom, alone, the two of you. “Whas goin on?” 

After he had closed the door he guided you to the bed, making you sit down, he looked at you intensely, “I know you like me,” as you opened your mouth getting ready to say something, the hand he was holding, he pulled making you push forward and resting your other hand on his shoulder, “You’ve been staring at me a lot more since I left your place a couple weeks back, and don’t think I didn’t notice how you always blush when passing in the halls. Just say it Y/N.”  

Your cheeks were burning, he was so close, you could feel his breath fanning your face, opening your mouth, a small croak came from your throat making you close your mouth swallowing before going again, “Yer still wit-” 

“Say it.” 

The quiet of his voice made you throw caution to the wind, “Okay, fine... Jack... I like you.” Closing the distance, you kissed him, your breath halting in your throat, his lips aren’t as soft as the few girls your previously kissed, reaching up and cupping his jaw, it was firmer, sharper. A boy, not a girl, your mind reeled with the sensation of your nerves being consumed with Jack, Jack, Jack. Feeling his hands grab at the flannel you were wearing and start pushing at it to slide it down your shoulders. Easing back, you gathered yourself, “Wait.” 

“Come on.” Pulling the shirt off his hands started going for your tank. 

“Hey, Jack.” Before you could say anymore, he kissed you again slowly working the top up, your body froze at hearing something in the room bang, blood running cold when laughter sounded from the closet. 

“Shit, I can’t hold it in Jack, fucking look at her.” The laughter echoed in your ears as you quipped your head around and watched as 2 boys stumbled out of the closet laughing. 

“Never seen so many rolls, jeez, ever heard of self-restrain piggy?” 

“What are they doin here?” You looked to Jack shocked, tears threatening to build as he smirking then shook his head. 

“I was close guys; this doesn't count against me since you guys interrupted.” 

“Wha-” 

“She would’ve stopped you anyways, she was trying.” 

“Unless you were just going to ignore her protests?” 

“Shut up, just keep recording, this will be good.” 

“Wait, recordin? Why, stop Jack!” You cried as he yanked your tank top up before holding you, arms pinned behind your back.  

The other 2 pulled their phones up recording, flashes on, catching everything, as you thrashed trying to get loose their laughter rung loud in the room, “You thought he liked you? What a joke, maybe you would’ve let him fuck you.” 

“Would’ve been an easy bet for Jack to win. How annoying, I thought she was a lesbian?” 

“Faking that shit for attention probably, knew no guy would want to be with a piggy unless there was something interesting about her.” 

“But to think that even a girl would find this attractive? Yeah right.” 

The tears were unstoppable, their horrible remarks burning and cutting into you, finally getting loose enough in his grasp, you dove down to your top slipping on your flannel running out crying, the others following and laughing, snorting at you. 

“Y/N?!” You didn’t stop to wait for Kieran as you made a mad dash home, climbing up and into your room. Your phone started ringing, seeing Kieran, you ignored it, ashamed and embarrassed. 

Through the weekend, you stayed away from your phone, the constant dings and ringing going ignored till it finally died. On Monday, your mother none the wiser of what had happened forced you to school. Walking up to the front you tried to ignore the laughs and people pointing at you, when you walked into the main hall, everyone was staring at you, your skin breaking out with goose bumps. Head down, you got to your locker, when you opened it, pictures and notes flooded out, you looked at as much as you could before your vision blurred. They were still images of the video, notes and drawings of pigs and insults, the worst, comments to harm yourself. “Y/N.” Looking up at Kieran, the worry written all over her face, you watched as she picked up all the papers and yanked them out of your locker yelling at everyone that was now huddled around you, phones out and laughing. After she had all the papers, she pulled you into a bathroom before you broke down, holding onto her. “Come to my house, let’s just skip today.” 

Following her to her place, you sat with her in her room, telling her what had happened when you and Jack went upstairs. She held you tightly throughout the whole ordeal, curing Jack and his stupid friends. It was only a few hours before the both of you jumped at her door opening, her father stepping in looking at the both of you, “Why did you skip out of school? What’s going on here?” 

“Dad, listen, please just understand we have very valid reasons, just...” She looked at you hesitantly, “Can’t say right now.” 

“Can’t? Or won’t?” He looked over at you, “No child of mine skips school, what’s going on?” 

Before she came up with anything you started standing up grabbing your back, “I’m sorry sir, it was my fault, I pulled her out of the school and suggested we skip.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Why?” 

Making your way to the door you tried to squeeze past him, but his hand shot out blocking you, “No reason sir, please ju-” 

“We should just tell him, he will help yo-” 

“Don’t Kieran.” 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing!” Pushing his hand down, you bolted out and started making your way home. Going to your room you charged your phone and saw every notification start to pop up, messages from anyone and everyone from school laughing at the video and calling you. Silencing it you laid in your bed crying, shortly, your mom came home screaming at you as she climbed the stairs. 

“What in the hell did you fucking do?!” As she slammed your door open, the hatred in her eyes burned into you, “My boss just called me and told me you whored yourself at some fucking party? What fucking party did you go to?!” 

“What? How-” Keiran told him, you snapped your mouth shut, you couldn’t believe she told him. You knew she was trying to look out for you, but damnit if you weren’t made at her for saying anything. 

“Answer me! Don’t you dare play dumb; there’s video evidence of you screwing someone? Have you lost your damn mind?! Everything I fucking do, and this is how you repay me?!” You glared at her as she went on; How is this my fault? Why is she insisting it’s my fault? 

“I didn’t do ANYTHING on purpose! They forced me and recorded me!” She glared at you before turning on her heel leaving slamming the door behind herself. You sighed walking to the door locking it before grabbing your phone and computer, pulling skype up you called Dominic. While the ringing was going you opened your bank app, checking what you had before opening a new tab on your computer for flights. 

“Y/N, wha-” 

“Ye remember a while ago when ye suggested I move out that way to just run away?” 

“Yeah?” He looked at you skeptically, “Are ye-” 

“I’m buying a ticket as we speak, I will be there in two days.” 

“Woah, lass, whas go-” 

“Please, Dom, jus... tell me now if I can’t stay with ye till I find my dad so I can figure something else out for hiding.” 

“Of course, ye can stay with me, but lass, what the hell happened?” 

Booking the flight ticket you took a deep breath, trying to hold the tears back, being tired of crying you didn’t want to shed anymore. You told him everything that had happened over the weekend, the party, letting your phone die and having a mental break down to the crap that happened at school, your friend telling her dad who is your mom's boss. Finally, the yelling match with your mom that just transpired. When you finished, he slammed back into his chair huffing, “Jesus Christ lass... what te fuckin hell? Firs off, yer more tan welcome here, ma and pa have been wantin to meet ya bad and when they hear bo-” 

“No, please Dom. Please don’t say anything bou-” 

“Lass, listen, I’m real fuckin sorry bout was happen to ye, but we gotta tell them somethin. They are goin to won-” 

“Tell them, I’m coming to find my dad, which won be a lie, ye jus don need to tell them the other shit. Please Dom? PlEaSe? I’m beggin ye.” 

He was quiet a moment, but he relented, “Fine, but they ask more questions, we tell them lass.” 

“Fine.” 

The two of you hashed out the rest of your plan, you’d stay low at home, steering clear of your mom for the next day before calling a cab to take you to the airport the following day, ignoring her and creating distance was a piece of cake, she was still irate with you and constantly trying to think up of lies to tell her boss about your ‘mistake’. 

When the time came, right as soon as your mom was out the door, you grabbed your 2 bags and made a mad dash to the cab that waited out front, sliding in, you felt like everything was moving on X2 speed, the drive to the airport, getting through tsa, and waiting to board. Your heart pounded in your chest; you were finally leaving your mom, and going to look for your dad, you remembered faintly the areas he would take you and replayed every detail hoping that when you get there if you can’t find him, then at least his wife. When your phone started ringing, you slowly looked at it before staring, Kieran, she had no clue what you were doing. You had ignored her calls and texts yesterday and the previous night, you knew she would and is still worried about you. You wanted to tell her what you were doing but didn’t know any more if you could trust her not to tell her dad and then eventually report you running away. Damnit though if the guilt of her worry and self-blame didn’t eat at your conscience, sliding the answer across your screen you lifted the phone to your ear. 

“Oh my god! Y/N! I’ve been trying to reach you! Listen, please, I’m so sorry for telling my dad, but he needed to know! Please understand I only told him because he would help. He said he talked to your mom, but she called the cops to file a report.” The momentary silence lasted long enough for you to sigh, “H-how was it making the report? Did they say what they would do?” When you didn’t respond, you heard her sniffle, “Please, Y/N, I’m so-” 

“Don worry bout me anymore Kieran. I’ll be okay.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Jus don worry, I’m not mad at ye, well...not anymore.” 

“Y/N, where are you? You turned your location off.” 

You looked up at the boarding sign, “I’m goin home, I’ll see ye later okay?” 

“Oh, okay...Love you.” 

Swallowing, you grabbed your bags walking to the podium, “Bye Kieran.” You hung up quickly before turning your phone off and wrapping it in napkins and tossing it in a can passing by. 

Landing in Edinburgh Airport you hailed a cab and gave them Dominic’s address, you’d sent him money to buy you a new phone, so he knew the time window of when to expect you. Pulling up to a beautiful house I handed the driver some cash and started making your way to the front door. When it opened you smiled, Dom, in person quickly ran to you hugging and picking you up, “Jeez Dom, don’t break yer back.” You laughed, but when he set you down, a hard look on his face made you shut up. 

“Don be sayin no mean shit bout my best frien. I ain fraid to smack some sense into ye.” 

“An I an fraid to smack some sense into ye if you lay one hand on her.” You both turned to see his mom at the doorway with his father. 

A sheepish smile made its way onto his face, “I was only messin ma, promise.” 

“Hmhm” She hummed smiling walking down the path before smiling at you and wrapping her arms around you. “It’s so nice to finally meet ye hun.” 

“Oh, uh, thank ye fer lettin me stay here till I find my dad and mom.” You smiled back looking between her and her husband. 

“Come in dear.” He said grabbing your bags smiling, you all walked in, they lead you to the main room and sat you on the couch. While his mom got drinks for everyone you looked around, “When Dom said ye were comin to look fer ye father, I asked a few questions around town to see if anyone knew anything.” 

You looked at him shocked, “Oh, ye didn’t have to do tha, I don want to bother ye all while I stay here.” 

He shook his head, “I don mind one bit, I only wish I had some good news fer ye, with the lil I knew and Dom, not many people could really offer anything.” 

“I understand, there were a few places I remember visiting and going to many times when I was younger, I was goin to visit those places and ask around, if not fer them then at least my grandparents.” 

“Tomorrow, we’ll be more than happy to drive ye around and help.” 

And they did, it was a couple weeks of traveling and asking friends, and old connections till you found a small scrap of information. It was a long, short given to you by one of Dom’s dad’s old cop friends, but you didn’t want to leave no stone unturned. Going just outside of Edinburgh, you went to the address that was scribbled down, it was a long dirt driveway to a beautiful 2 story house, huge with hills and fields surrounding it. On one side there were highland and belted Galloway cows, the other side of the road was cheviot sheep, your heart was pounding a mile a minute in your ribs, your limbs felt heavy as you climbed out of the car, looking around. Everything felt so... 

“Can we help ye all?” That voice, your body felt like the earth was shaking, could feel every muscle trembling as you slowly turned around and ... It was like everything froze in time, tears weld in your eyes, even though it had only been 4 years, it was like you’d only just seen him yesterday. 

“Dad.” You whimpered; you covered your mouth. 

Looking you over, he swore he thought he was looking at a ghost, “Y/N?” Nodding your head, he took one step down the stairs before the both of you made a mad sprint for each other. The collision of you both slamming into each other, wrapping your arms around one another tightly, weeping into the others shoulder. He pulled back first, cupping your cheeks in his hands moving the hair from your face, “My god, Y/N. Yev grown so much.” You both laughed before going back into holding each other, it wasn’t until his wife came out asking what was going on till she saw you.  

“Oh my god, MA, PA!” She screamed before running to you laughing and hugging you.  

You looked to the door, your grandparents walked out confused, and slightly worried, but upon seeing you, God, they all had never felt so whole and complete, they all cocooned you into a bear hug. Only pulled apart to thank and welcome Dominic and his parents inviting them in.  

You never told anyone the truth of why you ran away and sought them out, you didn’t even have to worry about your mom making a report, when you had left she counted it as a silent blessing that she could move and start over fresh, she never thought you went back to your father, all that matter to her was that you were gone. Your dad and mom asked as often as they could to figure out the truth, but you only insisted that you missed them and decided enough was enough, you were going to find them no matter what. You’d told them and your grandparents that you were lesbian, not expressing that you were bi, they excepted you none the less, and you were sure they would still except you even if you told them, you were bi, but you weren’t going to be dating or seeing any guys for a very long time. Yes, you knew and understood not all men were the same, but that doesn’t change the fact that at the thought of being intimate with a guy had you breaking down and having an anxiety attack.  

It wasn’t for a long time till you found inner peace with yourself and what had happened to you those years ago, you just always kept to one rule when it came to guys. You were never going to get anywhere near intimate with one unless you guys were a serious thing; no one nightstands, no games, no bets, no lies. 

[shalomniscient]

maybe the kid's bio parents had kept them some far away place for safety but a small kid's brain cant comprehend that idea so it assumes their parents just left them. i can see feixiao leaving for front line duty when they are asleep, so when it wakes up to no feixiao beside them, it feels abadoned again. when feixiao returns back to the base, she finds the kid curled up in some corner crying and when they see feixiao they run towards her and beg her to not leave them alone and that they will be good and won't annoy her ☹️☹️☹️☹️ i know her heart must have broke hearing their sobs.

if caiyi is alive when she meets the little kid, she's def seeing her little baby in them bonus if they are the same age. it breaks heart seeing how traumitized and heartbroken it is, always tries to cheer up the kid. she always tries to communicate the kid even if the convo is one-sided cuz she knows how isolated it feels.

other than feixiao, i can see the kid liking yukong a lot, maybe putting her up in #2 on the list of soliders they like. shes calm and isn't pushy like the soliders. the kid does become pampered a lot by the soliders, a lot of them have small siblings or families back home so seeing this kid just makes them want to have that closure of not being able to be with them at the moment.

military base isn't exactly best enviroment for a kid to grow up so feixiao will find the quickest way to meet up with r. it takes months for the kid to start falling asleep alone, they usually clinged to feixiao and r after they got close. weekly therapy sessions, i can see the kid getting into speech therapy since not speaking at such a young age can cause so much damage in their speaking abilities later in life.

when the kid grows up, maybe graduates high school, feixiao saves up all her holidays to be able to attend and seeing her little baby in a coat and a hat makes her realize how strong and grown up her baby is ☹️☹️

ok im done brainrotting sorry for yapping once i yap i cant be stopped 😭😭

i think it'd definitely be interesting if the kid feixiao found was more timid and skittish like you've described, because feixiao herself was the complete opposite when yueyu found her. feixiao knew from the start what she wanted to do; she wanted an end to the war, she wanted to ensure no one else had to suffer under the rule of the borisin. so for her kid to be more fearful would definitely be not an issue but a challenge to raise because she can't fall back on the way yueyu raised her.

she definitely becomes a lot softer with the kid. she wants them to feel safe above all else, and will go to great lengths to ensure it. her room while still deployed gains a few more knick-knacks instead of its usual spartan layout; whatever things for kids she can find on base she'll try to put in her room. so stuff like empty books and crayons so the kid can draw, a plush toy and the like. it'll be difficult for sure because those aren't things normally found on a military base, but feixiao makes it work until she gets to go home. she also moves her weapons to another room so the kid doesn't accidentally hurt herself.

feixiao would definitely keep an eye on the kid at all times if she can, especially around her troops. i don't think she'd let the kid even be alone with the troops, because most of the time they'll be armed to the teeth and it may startle or frighten the kid. that being said, there definitely are some she trusts more around the kid. i'd say moze > yukong, but only because in this specific moment in the au yukong is already retired and wouldn't be on base. moze, on the other hand, would, and i don't think he exactly "gets along" with the kid in the traditional sense but him being nearby does give the kid some sense of safety when feixiao isn't around because feixiao trusts moze. moze doesn't really "play" with the kid, moreso just sort of sitting nearby observing them and making sure they don't end up doing anything dangerous.

once feixiao returns from deployment though, the kid definitely warms up to yukong and jiaoqiu pretty quick. yukong because she just has that sort of air about her, motherly and calming, and the same goes for jiaoqiu but moreso in a chill uncle kind of way. they also warm up quickly to them because they can sense the amount of trust feixiao has in yukong and jiaoqiu. yukong and caiyi's daughter, qingni, is probably going to be a little older than the kid, but once feixiao's kid is more settled in they definitely become playmates. qingni likely takes on a more older sister role.

it takes a while for the kid to adjust to a peaceful life. i think initially the kid would be a little wary of r, solely because now at home feixiao's attention will be split between them and r, and it likely brings up some unpleasant feelings and fear of abandonment. but after some coaxing and talks from feixiao they'll come around to r, learning that feixiao has enough love in her heart for both of them. feixiao for sure gets therapy for the kid, and sits in when she can. she'll be so proud of them when they speak their first few full sentences, celebrating the achievement with a big dinner. she understands this is a battle her kid must face on their own, but it doesn't mean she can't support them as best she can. feixiao is very generous with her encouragement and it helps smoothen out the kid's journey to being able to speak like other kids their age.

there will definitely be tears at the kid's graduation, and really any big milestone in their life. she's also 100% going to be there, she dgaf. the xianzhou army can survive without her for one day. despite how they've grown, feixiao can never forget the way they were when she first found them. it's why she's so so proud of her baby and how far they've come. i think in some capacity it's healing for her too, in the sense that she returns to the battlefield over and over so that her kid would never have to. when she looks at her kid she sees all the reasons to keep fighting, but also to keep living. it's a very tender moment and the big strong general is all misty eyed when they step off the podium and run into her arms the way they did all those years ago.

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

"Can you shut the fuck up for a second!" Pony's fists are clenched so hard the knuckles are white 'n Steve thinks suddenly it's probably a good thing the kid bites at his nails or they'd be diggin' into his palms.

"No, you little punk. What's your problem?" Steve's not really angry yet. He's still pokin' half-heartedly mostly on instinct then any real urge to piss the kid off. The problem is that Pony is decidedly way over the aggravated line 'n into pissed without any help from Steve at all.

"I just had a shitty fuckin' day ok! How about you mind your business! Actually, why don't you hang out at your own house? You're wanted there just as much as here." Somethin' flashes across Steve's face 'n he narrows his eyes. Pony's flushed, chest heavin', a look of triumph on his face.

"You take that shit back." Steve balls his hands up, forces himself to stay down on the couch instead of marchin' over 'n puttin' the kid on his fuckin' head.

"No." Pony tilts his head 'n flashes a cold smile Steve just knows he picked up from Dallas. Steve takes a long breath. Remembers that Pony has a tendency to be cruel 'n not mean any of it when he was livid like this.

He's fourteen, Steve. Do you remember fourteen? Darry had told him after one of their regular matches. And he did. The problem was that Steve hadn't said mean shit. He just knocked the offender on his ass. Pony's mouth was too smart for his own good.

"You know what? You don't get to take your shit out on me, actually. Fuck off." Steve settles back on the sofa, turns back to the TV like he can pay any attention. God, where was Darry when you needed him. He'd probably collapse from the shock of it.

See, Steve contents himself with imagin' his face, I can be the bigger man. But then it's spoiled some since Steve can clearly hear Darry's took you long enough, you're only three years older than the kid.

"The fuck? Steve c'mon." Pony finally drops his school bag, right in the middle of the floor where Darry's gonna holler at him when he trips over it later, 'n takes half a step toward Steve. Like he's wheedlin' for a fight.

"C'mon? Glory, Pony. What's your fuckin' problem?"

"I don't have a fuckin' problem! Ok! You're the one with the problem!" Pony's voice is hittin' an all-time high, shrill note of frustration. Steve tears his eyes off the TV, rollin' 'em with a sigh, but now that he's lookin' at Pony he can see the way his eyes are rimmed red 'n his lip is bleedin' from him bitin' at it.

"Pony? Chill out kid, what's goin' on?" Pony does not chill out. In fact, it only serves to get him more frustrated.

"Nothin'! Nothin' is goin' on! Ok! I just don't know why you always have to be here 'n actin' like that 'n in my house- 'n- 'n-" Suddenly hot tears are streakin' down Pony's face 'n he's scrubbin' them away with nails bit down so far they're bleedin'.

"Pony?" Oh, Jesus. Where is Darry when you need him? Steve flies to his feet 'n Pony flinches back like he suddenly doesn't want the fight he's been askin' for. "Oh, glory kid."

"Just leave me the fuck alone. I'm fine!" Steve grabs Pony's wrists 'n hesitates awkwardly. He wasn't used to havin' to comfort the kid 'n he was way out of his zone. So he just moves on instinct, pullin' the kid to his chest like he's watched Darry do a hundred times.

For a moment Pony stiffens up 'n holds his hands out like he's not sure what to do with them, a weak little sob half caught in his throat. Then Steve wraps him up maybe a little too tight 'n Pony lets himself go limp.

"Let me go, Steve!" Pony wails like he doesn't have his face buried in Steve's shirt, leanin' so hard against him Steve's gotta work to keep him on his feet.

"Fine." Steve squeezes him again 'n then unceremoniously drops him. Pony's on the floor before he knows what's happenin' 'n Steve crouches down 'n puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him there. Pony goes to scramble to his feet 'n Steve pushes him back down, gently. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

Pony blinks at him, eyes wide 'n hair wild 'n Steve can abruptly see him at eight, runnin' to Steve 'cause he'd scraped his knee 'n didn't want to tell Darry 'cause he'd told him to put on jeans if he was gonna ride his bike. Steve had made him give him his dessert in exchange for silence but had snuck the first aid kit out the bathroom window 'n wrapped it up real good.

"I dunno..." Pony scrapes again at the tears fallin' down his face 'n Steve bats his hand away, pullin' his handkerchief from his pocket 'n pressin' it none too gently across Pony's cheeks. "Knock that off." Pony snatches it from Steve 'n wipes at his own face.

"Glory, someone's in a mood." Apparently, it was too soon for that.

"I am not! Look, Steve, I can handle it myself. I don't need your bullshit." Pony pushes himself up 'n Steve easily grabs his wrist 'n yanks him back down.

"Fine, you don't need my help which, by the way, I wasn't offerin'. I just think if I'm gonna get hollered at on my day off I should get to know why." Pony narrows his eyes, scowlin' hard before droppin' his sulk down to his lap.

"It's nothin'. I just- I dunno, sometimes I just, when I-ugh!" Pony throws his hands up, makes a low angry sound in the back of his throat. "I just had a bad fuckin' day 'cause like, I just, it's-"

Oh. Steve thinks. Ok. I know that.

"If you don't know... like, what it is-" Pony goes to cut him off 'n Steve whacks him on the hand 'n barrels on. "Or if you know what it is but you don't know how to like... say it. Don't worry about it. I'm not gonna make you figure it out."

Pony blinks at him again 'n Steve drops his hand off his shoulder. "Well. Alright." 'N just like that Pony wipes the remain' tears away, clambers up, 'n offers Steve a hand. Man, if the kid couldn't bounce back from anythin'. Steve tries to remember if he'd ever been like that. But he remembered fourteen 'n he'd always been more of a sulker.

"We good, kid?" Steve eyes him 'n Pony shrugs, shoots him a mischievously little grin Steve knows he got from Soda.

"Sure, as long as you get me dinner."

"Oh sure," He pulls Pony under his arm 'n messes up his hair 'n Pony whines," as long as you're payin'. After all it is your house."

[msmk11]

Not Worth Your Tears

Harry Potter x gn!reader

WC: 843

CW: allusions to people being bitchy and judgy

Summary: Afternoon plans with people you know don’t go according to plan, leaving you upset. Good thing you have a lovely boyfriend to comfort you.

A/n: definitely not based on true events (except I don’t have a harry to comfort me)

The door shuts with a thud, the decisively unpleasant noise the perfect ambience for your current mood. You slide off your shoes and kick them into the growing messy pile- one you and Harry swear you’ll clean up but never do. You hang your keys on the hook and let your bag slump off your shoulder. You feel terrible, a heavy heart weighing down your chest, but don’t want to let your sweet boyfriend see. He’s sitting on the couch in the living room, the perfect picture of comfort in one of his favorite hoodies and matching sweatpants. The rugby game plays from the tv and Harry is watching it intently. At the sound of your footsteps into the kitchen, however, his gaze instantly falls to you.

“Hi baby! How was lunch?” he asks sweetly.

Maybe you’re just imagining it, but he sounds extra hopeful and positive today. You know he’s excited to hear about your lunch. Though you suppose he’s always excited to listen to whatever you have to say. It breaks your heart, then, that you don’t have good, exciting things to share.

“It was good,” you say, refilling your water bottle in the kitchen. Your voice is tighter than you like and you cringe.

“Everything okay?”

You should’ve known he’d clock you instantly. No matter how hard you try, you cannot hide your feelings from Harry. So you don’t bother. As soon as you turn around and see the comforting, loving face of your boyfriend a sob escapes you. His pretty features morph from mild concern to distress, and he bolts up from his seat pulling you into his arms.

You wrap your own around him tightly, shaking in his hold and crying aggressively. Harry runs a hand up and down your back soothingly.

“Did something happen at lunch?”

“Mhmm-“ you hum, nodding your head.

Your boyfriend guides you to the couch to sit down, his comforting embrace never weakening despite the movement. His green eyes gaze into yours tenderly, “wanna tell me about it?”

You take a shuddering breath and only get out a syllable before you choke on another sob.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Take your time baby. And try and take some deep breaths for me.”

Harry makes soothing circles on your lower back as you cling to him tight. His steady breathing and faint cologne calms you a little and you’re able to take a deep breath.

He kisses your hairline, “good job, sweetheart.”

“I-it’s just. I felt so out of place today,” you confess, “like I didn’t belong.”

Harry’s heart shatters into a million pieces and his hold on you tightens, “did someone say something? Or do something?”

You sniffle as a few stray tears continue to make tracks down your face, “not exactly. It’s just. They-“

You hiccup.

Your boyfriend presses another tender kiss to your hairline encouragingly.

“It was just so obvious that they- that they thought they were so much better than me. They- they’d speak to me but it was like they were…. talking down to me.”

Harry’s jaw ticks in anger but he keeps it to himself, instead focusing on you, “I’m sorry that happened, baby. People are just plain arrogant and mean sometimes.” He kisses your head once more as he traces patterns into your arm, “but you know it’s not true, right? That they’re better than you. Because they’re not. In fact, you’re ten times better than they could ever be.”

“I- I know they’re not better than me. It’s just,” you look down at your lap, “it’s really dehumanizing, to be seen as less than because of some absence of an ‘it’ factor, or wealth or something.”

Fingers brush against your jaw and your chin is raised so that you’re looking Harry in his eyes again, “sweetheart, I know. I get it. The Dursleys were like that too. It really sucks, and kills your confidence. But just remember they’re not worth these tears baby.”

He places a kiss to your forehead, “you’re so pretty,” a kiss to the tip of your nose, “and smart,” a kiss to your cheek, “and kind,” then the other cheek, “and witty,” and a kiss to your lips, “and the best girl I know.”

You’re a flustered mess by this point and it makes Harry smirk in spite of the emotional situation.

“I think you’re obligated to say those things,” you murmur, playing with his free hand.

“Only my heart obligates me to say it,” your boyfriend answers thoughtfully, “it bursts with so much love for you that I can’t help but say all the wonderful things I love about you.”

You look at Harry fondly, eyes trailing over his dark skin, sharp jawline, and lovely emerald eyes that hold so much love for you. You kiss his cheek gratefully and lovingly.

“You feeling any better?” He asks softly, cupping your face.

“A little,“ you answer with a shrug.

He leans closer, lips inches from yours, “then let me help you, baby. Let me help you feel better and forget those silly people.”

[tethrarisms]

ALL THE GAYS WANTED WAS A CANON SHIP IN A POPULAR SHOW BUT WE DID NOT ASK FOR THE ANGST PART WTF

[moeblob]

I've been debating playing more RF4S so uh. Have he.

[thebigqueer]

literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)

[pyrriax]

hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing

[drivemysoul]

every time i say i want my septum pierced someone says id look bad with it so now i’m sitting in my bathtub crying over other things and being upset that i’d look ugly with the piercing i want really bad

[youssefguedira]

Eating your fleabag tags like a starved man though I’ve watched the show so many times bc it’s like feeling the rush of the first watch second-hand, thank you and good luck it’ll pass

thanks 👍