#i just want to finish it I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BEAT BOSSES

[gorillaxyz]

im sad... im impatient... i want to finish playing kh NOW but im stuck on the final boss. i want to just watch a silent playthrough and be done wuth it to get to the next game but i CANT bring myself to do it because i want to play and experience all the games by muself. but i strained my hand really badly bc of the game :( and i dont want to accidentally hurt myself again :(

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

[goldsbitch]

Right?

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

That is until a photoshoot gets out of hand and there is no way to go but forward.

warning: swear words, male x female, angst

part 2

______________________________________________________________

You're a professional. Right? Always been, proud of your hard work and strong will. If you want something, you go and get it.

It's by no chance that you're standing exactly here - in the McLaren F1 paddock, in the middle of buzzing neatly organized and timed chaos prior to the start of the race. "Read the grid, feel the paddock" was a line burned to your memory by your first boss, now the Media head of Redbull. You've learned what each and every one of the people do, what their job entails, because one day, one day you want to be more than a photographer for the team's social media.

You're a professional. Had a dream and went for it, no matter the sacrifice or long hours. Always on the road, detached from your peers. Because your heart beats for this.

You'd never do anything to compromise your job. Right?

The hardest part to ignore is his scent. You can evert your eyes when he walks to the room like he owns it - and one would say he actually does, he is the team's no. 1 driver for god sake. His voice can almost be blocked out by focusing on a conversation with a different person or headphones if the situation allows. But his scent seems specifically tailored to messing with your ability to focus, so much sothat you've considered wearing a mask and pretending to be a super freak about germs.

Ironically, scents are hard to recall. And you would know, you've tried several times on lonely nights in hotel rooms, with the goal to make you finish just a little bit faster. A moment you'd really love to forget is standing in a perfume shop trying to figure out what is that magical formula. Because it can't be due to the fact that he is wearing it. Right?

However hard it is for you on the inside, one would never know of your tiny little crush from the outside. Always keeping it casual, with every photoshoot staying professional and holding it together.

It was Lando who had the idea to do more of an intimate (his words, not yours) photoshoot than usually, to spice up the feed, as he bluntly said during a casual PR catch up. This was the reason why you were standing here. In the middle of the forest, alone with a big camera and one light for the subject in question, your biggest crush in history. You were sure he was having a great time putting you outside your comfort zone, the cheeky fuck he was. But then again, he probably really did not give a shit.

"I can't focus if you'll keep looking at me like that," Lando stated like a spoiled child.

"Come again?" you asked, geniuenly confused.

He jumped around few times, as if he was about to run a marathon. "Show a little enthusiam, why so bleh today?"

"You're right, my mind went somewhere else."

"Oh, am I boring you? Well, that's bad. We should be promoting my merch here, but even the person paid to be here can't seem to be bothered!" His tone changed. He raised his eyebrows, challenging you to up your game.

You're a professional. No doubt about that.

Focus, get your head back. Your energy boosted up again, here we go! "Ok, Norris, back to work!" You're well aware that a great photo comes from the subjects ability to connect with the photographer. "You're right, this isn't working. Let's get into the car."

You both left the random wood spot and returned to his sports car that brought you here. "Sit on the driver's seat" you instructed.

"Oh, as if there is a different way this would go down."

"Come on, let's drive around. And be fast," not sure if you were incouraging him or yourself.

"Like the sound of that. Buckle up, otherwise you'll have blurry photos."

And with that he reversed back on the main road.

After about 15 minutes of driving back and forth with a casual drift on the turns, getting pictures of him driving in his new jacket and shades, the adrenaline levels were pretty up in both of you.

"Parked it up here" you instructed again, having him stop on a hill with a view on a city lights in the background. "These are amazing!" you said after a brief look on the photos.

Lando was curious as ever. "Show me!"

"No, you'll see them on the right time. Do you trust me?"

He licked his lips. "Surprise me?"

"Lean back."

You really got into the zone, already super excited for the pictures. They had everything, interesting lighting, composition and Lando was doing an exceptional job with his smiles. However, you knew it could give more.

"This is great Lando, truly great job! But let's do more and push it further, you ok?"

"Just tell me what to do." He looked like he was really enjoying the attention, but you tried to block any of these thoughts out.

"One thing photographers recommend is for the model to try and look into the lens as if you want to seduce it, capture those looking at the picture...It's for making models less focused on the camera and being more attractive..."

Lando pulled out his best smirk yet. "Oh, I'm not attractive enough to be your model now?"

"Come on. You know what I mean."

"Nah, I don't," he lied. "Elaborate, I'm just a simple driver."

Now you were getting annoyed. "Just imagine the lens is someone you want to, em, who you would like to"

"-Fuck?"

"Yes."

"As you wish." And as you asked he did.

He probably did it without much of a thought, but you were perfectly aware of how he fixed his posture, opened his lips a bit, moved his and got this look on as if he wanted to eat you - in the best way possible. This got you in the zone, striking one photo after another, moving your camera and getting closer to get the details, completely forgetting you were both there to shoot his new merch.

Battery low. You would have cursed yourself in that moment. Only you hardly had a second to think about this. When you put your camera down, you realized the nonexistent proximity between you and Lando. You were sitting above him on the back seat with him staring up to you.

You froze for a moment, knowing there is no battery left in the bag.

"Well that is us done for today," you focused on the camera. How on Earth can you be so stupid.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." You suddenly realized you were way, way to close to Lando. The damn scent, again.

"Damn, I like these kinds of photoshoots."

"Uhm, yeah." You did not want to move, but it was becoming socially unacceptable for you to be sitting on him for this long.

"Have you done this with Oscar?"

It's hard for you not to laugh at that thought. Every photoshoot with Oscar was a nightmare with the atmoshephere being so dry that everyone with an inch of taste had to tell from the photos immediately.

"Not yet," you said trying to preserve the facade. " But if these work out and the team likes them, we might recreate this with him?"

As if that was even remotely possible. You should move now. Why isn't he moving?

"Shame, thought it was our thing," his voice was becoming more raspy with every sentence.

And with that - you lost it.

"You still have the look." How is this sentence coming out of your mouth?

"What look?" he said, moving even closer to you.

"The models look."

"Remind me which one."

"The "Fuck Me Look"...But I'm not taking photos anymore."

"Interesting."

"Why?" You stopped breathing a while ago.

"Because I think you have it too."

part 2

[just-another-josh]

Money

Samantha Danvers was working in her office at the Lena Luthor Foundation when the company’s namesake abruptly stormed in.

“Alright, talk.”

Sam, clearly unfazed, didn’t bother looking up from her laptop. “Hello to you too.”

Lena huffed and rolled her eyes. “Hello, Sam,” she said impatiently.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Sam tapped a few keys, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

Lena stood rigidly with her thumbs in her suit-pant pockets, fingers beating an annoyed rhythm. “I want to know about the bet.”

Sam paused her typing; her jaw set tightly as she forced herself not to look at her boss. “What bet are you referring to?”

Lena scoffed, “Oh please, Samantha. Don’t insult my intelligence.”

Sam huffed out a defeated breath and turned to face Lena. “What did you hear?”

Lena stepped closer and placed her hands on Sam’s desk. “Since you, Kara, J’onn, and M’gann were off doing the hero thing last night, Alex, Nia, Brainy, and I went to Al’s. Halfway through the evening, Nia was updating us on the status of their house hunting and complaining about the home prices being exponentially higher the closer they got to the city. Brainy then made a very off-hand comment along the lines of ‘…if only we had won the wager…’, but before he could finish, Nia elbowed him in the ribs while your wife kicked him under the table. The rest of the night, they changed the subject anytime I brought it up.” Lena leaned in and eyed Sam with a laser-sharp gaze. “So, tell me, what were all of you wagering on and what does it have to do with me and Kara?”

Sam took on a mock-offended posture, an indignant huff pushing out of her nose. “Awfully presumptive. What makes you think…and this is not an admission…that the bet was about you and Kara?”

“Process of elimination,” Lena said, feeling insulted. “C’mon, Sam. Did you forget I am first and foremost a scientist? I asked Kara when I got home last night if she knew anything, and she said she didn’t-”

“How do you know she’s not lying?” Sam interupted, trying her damndest to hide her grin.

Lena looked at Sam in disbelief. “Because secret identity aside, when it comes to me, my girlfriend is a shit liar.”

Sam nodded. “Point conceded. Continue.”

Lena flashed Sam a smug grin. “This morning, I ran into J’onn and M’gann at the DEO and asked them about it. They suddenly remembered they had to go grocery shopping and flew out of the balcony before I could get another word in.” Sam began nervously rubbing the back of her neck. “So, add J’onn and M’gann to you and the other three idiots, with Kara and I being the only two not in on it, it stands to reason that the bet has to do with us,” Lena finished arrogantly.

Sam’s face twisted into a look of indignation. “Hey! What makes you think I’m part of this…this…conspiracy?”

A look of complete bewilderment fell over Lena’s face. Resigned, she shook her head. “If your wife’s in on it, that guarantees you’re complicit.” Lena’s stare drilled into Sam for emphasis.

The CFO deflated and shook her head. “Coluan asshat. I should throw him into the sun.” Lena’s lips twisted into a cocky smile. Sam looked at her watch and saw that it was just past four o’clock. “Fuck it. It’s five o’clock somewhere,” Sam mumbled as she motioned towards the brown couch behind Lena. “Have a seat, I’ll get the drinks.”

Lena headed towards the couch, dropping her clutch on the coffee table and unbuttoning her coat. She had no sooner sat down before a tumbler filled with scotch was in her hand courtesy of Sam and her super-speed. Sam, taking a sip from her glass, had already settled on the other side.

Lena allowed her friend to indulge in a few sips silently before throwing an expectant look at her CFO. “Waiting.”

Sam took a long draw from her drink and rolled her neck, an audible crack resulted. She let out a long breath and sank further into the couch. “The bet had to do with when you and Kara were going to hook-up.”

“Hook-up, hook-up or start dating?”

“It wasn’t specified, but we all assumed since Kara is a complete Pollyanna, the two would run parallel to each other.” Sam took a drink to hide a knowing grin.

Lena chose to ignore Sam’s veiled implication that she was more morally flexible than her girlfriend, the look on her face instead remained banal. “What were the terms.”

Sam cleared her throat and shifted into executive mode. “The over/under was six months. No minimum buy-in and you could add additional money to the pot at any point, but you couldn’t change the time period you originally bet on. The pot would be split evenly amongst the winners. People were allowed to subtly try and influence the two of you but were not allowed to blatantly interfere.”

Lena tapped her finger on her chin. “Six months…when did the bet begin?” 

“At me and Alex’s wedding reception.”

Lena quickly did the math in her head; she and Kara had announced that they were a couple four months after the wedding. Lena hummed to herself but remained stone faced. “Whose idea was it?”

“Winn.” Sam said without hesitation, not feeling an ounce of remorse for throwing him under the proverbial bus. “Apparently, he watched you two have ‘an emotionally charged moment’ that convinced him your relationship was heading in the direction of more than platonic.”

“For god’s sake. We were crying and hugging. There was nothing remotely romantic about it,” Lena grumbled.

Sam raised her hands in mock surrender. “Hey, me and Alex were about to take off for Argo. I’m just quoting what he said.” Lena clenched her jaw but didn’t respond. “Whatever Winn saw encouraged him to make a beeline for Nia and Brainy and…well…the rest is history.”

Lena took a sip of her scotch before resting her elbow on the back of the couch, placing her head lightly on her fist. “So, what did the pot get up to?”

“Thirty-six grand,” Sam quietly said.

Lena abruptly sat up; her eyebrows comically raised. “Holy shit! How many people were in on this?”

Sam seemed to shrink into her seat. “A lot?” she said with a sheepish look on her face.

“Names, Samantha. I want names,” Lena ordered in a playful variation of her boardroom voice.

“Okay,” Sam grumbled in defeat. With a burst of super-speed, Sam was back on the couch with her laptop, furiously typing away.

Lena chuckled. “Of course they put you in charge of the bookkeeping.”

“Well, I am the only corporate accountant in our circle of friends…so…duh.” Sam shook her head in faux disgust. Lena remained silent while Sam tapped away at her keyboard, opting instead to take a few more sips of her drink. Before Lena had time to enjoy the satisfying burn, Sam indicated she was finished. “Ok, so, you already know about me, Alex, J’onn, M’gann, Brainy, Nia, Winn…there was Lois and Clark-”

“What?” Lena interrupted. “They don’t even like me.”

“Actually, Clark likes you a lot. He says Lois still has trust issues with you, but he suspects she has a bit of a gambling problem, so…”

Lena arched her eyebrow. “Good to know.”

Sam shrugged. “Eliza, Alura and Zor-El-”.

“Really? That seems very un-Kryptonian.” Lena interjected.

“Alex and I said the same thing when Eliza told us they were onboard, but I guess Alura jumped at the chance to throw in after Eliza broke it down for her during their weekly call.”

“Hold on, Eliza and Alura talk every week?” Lena said, a hint of trepidation in her voice.

“Yup,” Sam said with a pop. She smiled diabolically. “Good luck with that.”

Lena gave an imperceptible nod as she started fidgeting with her glass; distracted by the implications of a weekly discussion between Kara’s “moms”.

“Where was I?” Sam mumbled as she scanned for where she left off. “Ah, there we are. Jess, Cat Grant, Andre-”.

“That zrhykhig!” Lena blurted out. “That’s why she’s been throwing herself at me like a bitch in heat since the wedding.” Her anger continued to swell as pieces of the puzzle fell into place. “She took the over, didn’t she? Of course, she did. I don’t even know why I’m asking. I’m sure she thought the best way to keep me and Kara apart was to con me into fucking her.” Waves of violet energy began cascading over Lena’s hands. “Swear to Rao I’m going to find a spell that’ll undo the nose job she got for her sweet-sixteen.”

Sam looked up from her laptop nervously. “Whoa, slow down there, Elphaba. There’s no need to mutilate her face.” Sam fixed Lena with a disapproving glare that seemed to calm her down; the magic arcing over her hands dissipated. “To answer your question, yes, she took the over. Now, are you going to stop interrupting me so I can get through this list?”

“No, I’m not,” Lena said defiantly.

“Worth a shot,” Sam mumbled to herself. “Next, we have Barry and Iris West-Allen-” Sam shot a hand up to stop Lena before she interrupted. “Yes, I know you just met them a month ago at his birthday party. Just a heads up, the rest of this list is comprised of people you first met at said party, but please bear in mind they’ve all known Kara for years.”

Lena closed her mouth and mimicked zipping her lips shut.

“Thank you.” Sam nodded, momentarily relieved. “As I was saying, Barry and Iris, Ray and Nora Palmer, Sara and Ava Lance-”.

“Wait, Sara Lance?” Lena threw a knowing smile at her friend.

“Yes.”

“White Canary?”

“Yes.”

“Wasn’t she the one that…”

“Yes.”

“With Alex…”

“Yes.”

“The one you threatened to…”

“Yes! Can we please stop talking about the woman my wife had a one-night stand with?” 

Lena snorted several times as she tried to contain her laughter.

Sam, fuming, returned her attention to the list. “Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Mick Rory-”

“The big guy that sat in the corner, finished off two cases of beer, and spent the entire night grunting at everyone?” Lena asked with a puzzled look on her face.

“That’s the one.” Sam perked up. “And finally…Kate Kane.”

Sam swore she heard Lena growl. “The short-haired brunette that was all sauced up and kept getting handsy with Kara?”

“Yes. Most people just call her Kate…or Batwoman.” Sam could see a vein beginning to protrude from Lena’s forehead. “For the sake of context, she started flirting with Kara after placing her wager. I think she was pulling the same move as Andrea.” Sam reached across the couch and patted Lena’s knee reassuringly. “So, maybe don’t go all Jigsaw on her?” Sam appealed.

Lena’s posture softened, but she seemed to somehow look both perplexed and astonished at the same time. “I just don’t understand how all these people, that I’ve spent a grand total of less than two hours with, felt confident enough to wager on when Kara and I would get together.”

“Pretty simple, really. They spent more than five minutes in the same room with you two,” Sam plainly stated.

Lena leveled Sam with a look of utter confusion. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Sam’s mouth fell agape, absolutely stunned.  “Oh, honey. You two were the paragons of sexual tension. Anyone with eyes could see it plain as day. You should have seen all the confused looks I got from people when I told them you two weren’t dating.”

I light dusting of pink spread across Lena’s face, and she fondly smiled. “Paragons of sexual tension?” After a moment of consideration, she conceded, “Accurate.”

Sam let Lena stew in her embarrassment a few moments longer, taking great pleasure in watching her oldest friend squirm. Using her super-speed, she refilled their drinks, and, clearly out of patience, burst out, “So are you going to ask me, or what?” Lena titled her head questioningly. Sam sighed out of sheer frustration. “Don’t you want to know who won?!?”

Lena startled and nodded emphatically. “Yes, of course, yes. Please, tell me.”

“There were only three winners.  Eliza, Jess, and…me.” Sam smiled pompously while doing a celebratory jig.

Lena, looking completely unsurprised, grinned warmly. “Eliza…no shock there. That woman can read her daughters like an open book. Jess…well I guess you could say she had a front row seat from day one.” She paused as she reminisced. A tender smile spread across her face; she focused on Sam with a curious glint in her eyes. “So, how did you know?”

Sam, pretending to take offense, gasped. “Aside from years of watching you two longingly eye-fuck each other?”

Lena snorted into her glass as she tried to take a drink, inadvertently causing some of the liquid to splash on her face. A deep blush settled over her cheeks as she wiped at her now damp face. “Yes, aside from that,” she said through a coughing chuckle.

Sam’s grin at Lena’s antics was slowly replaced by a look of melancholy. She methodically swirled the contents of her tumbler, seemingly transfixed by it. “Honestly, everything came into focus while you two were fighting.” Lena abruptly stopped her efforts to dry her face, instead focusing on Sam with a forlorn look on her face. “That year you spent apart…I watched you both flounder; you were both just going through the motions…lost. Neither one of you was whole. As cliché as it sounds, you two really are stronger together; El Mayarah in the flesh.” Sam paused to take a drink. Lena’s eyes became glassy, a slight tremor in her hands barely visible. “When it happened, I remember thinking about everything you two had accomplished together: you sent the Daxamites packing, beat Reign and saved me, stopped Lex and Red Daughter from basically taking control of the country…and handled all the other little disasters in-between. When you two finally reconciled you were able to prevent Leviathan from taking over the world and then stopped Lex from killing two-thirds of the population on Earth; and that was before you two had had a chance to work through your shit.” Sam grew more passionate as she continued, “To this day, I firmly believe that if we would’ve beat your fuckhead brother before he trapped Kara in the Phantom Zone, you two would’ve been married by now.” Lena tilted her head and lightly shrugged, silently recognizing the possibility. “I felt the same way when we got her back from that hellhole, but then Nyxly was there and threw a wrench into everything; Lex rearing his ugly bald head again was just the cherry on top.”

Lena let out a frustrated sigh as she reflected on that tumultuous time in their lives. A modicum of tears rolled down her cheeks as her body reacted viscerally to the unpleasant memories.

“Shit, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to upset you…I promise there is a point to this walk down nightmare lane,” Sam said as she reached across the couch and placed her hand over Lena’s to reassure her; Lena lightly patted the top of Sam’s hand in acknowledgement of the tender gesture. “What I’m trying to point out is that the reason you two didn’t get together after you reconciled was not by choice. It wasn’t about missed opportunities; it was the fact that you two never got a chance to breathe long enough to explore how you felt about each other. I knew with absolute certainty that once things died down, you two would end up getting that opportunity. So, when Nyxly and Lex fucked-off to the Phantom Zone, I had the utmost faith that you two would be swapping spit, and other bodily fluids, in very short order,” Sam flashed a brilliant, mischievous smile. “Hence, why I took the under.”

Lena grinned through her tears, and squeezing Sam’s hand she quietly said, “Thank you for never losing faith in me…in us.”

Sam scooped Lena into a tight hug, her chin rested over Lena’s shoulder. “Oh, sweetie. I love you and Kara so much. All I’ve ever wanted for you two is to be happy…well, together, and happy.”

They squeezed each other tighter, giggling into each other’s shoulders.

“I think we need to switch to a lighter topic,” Sam said through a choked-up laugh.

They broke up their hug, both futilely trying to save their mascara as they wiped the tears from their eyes.  “I totally agree. Did you have something in mind?” Lena managed to sniffle out.

“Actually, I do.” There was a hint of nervousness in Sam’s voice. Lena picked up on it and noticed that her friend was fidgeting with her hands.

Lena scoffed, “Oh, Christ. Now what?”

Sam anxiously cleared her throat. “Weeelll, there might be one more wager that hasn’t been settled yet.” Sam did her best to avoid looking at Lena, instead focusing on her suddenly very interesting hands.

Lena’s eyebrow rose ever-so-slightly. “This should be good,” she deadpanned.

“So, after it was confirmed you two were officially dating, a second bet was made on who made the first move,” Sam said hesitantly.

Lena was a picture of stoicism. “I see. And what’s the pot on this one?”

“Forty-five thousand.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up. “For fuck’s sake, Sam. It’s been a week since we told everyone!”

Sam embarrassedly smiled. “Yeah, a lot of people are trying to recoup their losses.”

“I feel like there’s a teachable moment regarding the evils of gambling somewhere in there, but…,” Lena drifted off, clearly indifferent to their plight.  She leveled an inquisitive look at Sam. “So, Mrs. Danvers, which pony did you back?”

Sam slammed back the remainder of her drink and placed the empty tumbler on the coffee table. She timidly met Lena’s eyes and weakly smiled. “Kara.”

Lena’s brows furrowed at Sam’s admission. She let her CFO suffer through a dramatically awkward silence before responding, “Et tu, Brute?”

Sam shrugged. “Lena, I mean this with all due respect, but you are the very definition of ‘useless lesbian’.”

“Useless bisexual,” Lena quickly corrected.

“Oh, please. Jack and James were total beards!” Sam cackled.

Lena’s eyes narrowed as she glared at Sam in reproach. “No comment,” she said sternly.

Sam was now laughing so hard her side hurt. Lena took a heavy swallow of her drink and regarded her friend with an icy stare.

Her impatience building, Lena opted to change the subject. “Speaking of James, I noticed he wasn’t on the list of participants.”

Sam took a minute to regain her composure and even out her breathing. “He felt it would be inappropriate to wager on when his ‘ex-girlfriends’ would hook-up.”

“What does he mean, ‘ex-girlfriends’? Kara never even went on a date with him. They kissed twice…the first time he was being controlled by Myriad.” Lena was clearly appalled.

A look of shock climbed across Sam’s face. “Shut the fuck up! I never knew that…oh my god, Alex doesn’t even know about that!”

“I can’t believe I slept with that narcissistic prick.” Lena snorted angrily at the memory.

Sam loudly clapped her hands, breaking Lena’s reverie. “Well, I’m glad we could clear that up. Now, fess up. Who jumped first?”

Lena remained silent and studied Sam for a moment, the CFO was practically bouncing in her seat in anticipation. After what seemed like an eternity (to Sam at least), Lena slammed back the remainder of her scotch and set the empty tumbler on the coffee table. A devious grin on her lips, Lena stood and began fastening the buttons on her jacket. “Thank you for the drink and for the conversation. It was rather stimulating.” Lena retrieved her discarded clutch from the table and moved to exit Sam’s office.

Sam quickly realized that Lena was going to leave her hanging and sprung to her feet. “Oh, hell no! You’re not flaking out on me now, Luthor!”

Lena didn’t slow her pace. “I’ll see you at Game Night on Friday. Don’t forget, you and Alex are on snack duty this week.”

Sam used her super-speed to position herself between Lena and her office door. “Please, Lena! Just tell me. Alex bet on you, so it doesn’t matter who made the first move, I win either way,” Sam grabbed Lena by the arms. “C’mon Lena, Alex and I could use the money to do that add-on to the house and take the trip to Aruba we’ve been talking about for years.”

“Oh please, you just got back from honeymooning on Argo.”

“Yeah, but that was four months ago…and Argo doesn’t have crystal blue waters…and sandy beaches…and clear, sunny skies…and…and drinks with little umbrellas in them…” Sam was pleading, well, more begging at this point.

Lena gave Sam a piteous smile, cupped Sam’s cheek, leaned in, and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Love you, sweetie.” She separated from Sam’s grip and exited through the office door. Sam helplessly watched as Lena disappeared behind the shutting door.

“Fuck!” she bellowed into the empty office. Sam rushed over to her desk and retrieved her phone, quickly bringing up her wife’s contact.

MyBrownEyedGirl: The jig is up! Boss Lady was just here. She knows everything!

BigRed: Fuck! I knew Brainy shit the bed last night. What did you tell her?

MyBrownEyedGirl: EVERYTHING!!!

BigRed: Oh.

BigRed: Wow.

BigRed: How’d she handle it?

MyBrownEyedGirl: Typical Lena.

BigRed: Shocker.

BigRed: Did you ask about the other thing?

MyBrownEyedGirl: YUP

BigRed: AND???

MyBrownEyedGirl: Typical Luthor.

BigRed: Again, shocker. Plan B: I’ll load Kara up on potstickers, ice cream, and Aldebaran Rum. I guarantee she’ll talk when I’m done with her.

BigRed: Don’t worry, baby. We’re getting that new rec room AND our trip.

MyBrownEyedGirl: Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you throw around all that Big Dick Energy?

BigRed: Yes, but you can remind me again tonight.

MyBrownEyedGirl: With pleasure. Rubes is staying at her friend’s house tonight. I’ll get out the big strap.

BigRed: Fuck, I love you!!!!

MyBrownEyedGirl: Love you too, red.

MyBrownEyedGirl: Oh, one more thing. I need a favor from you.

BigRed: Name it.

MyBrownEyedGirl: Please remind me to call Nia and tell her she needs to find a new baby-daddy, because I’m going to throw Brainy’s dumb-ass into the sun!!!

[vansmissingcheek]

Van Palmer Alphabet

(nsfw) (she/they Van)

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

So caring. So funny. Definitely receives more but when she does top it’s her number one priority that you’re alright. Pressing kisses to the skin on display. Helping you sit up and change or just get back up in general. Definitely loves to kiss you before you’ve fully recovered just to feel the way your sloppy lips chase theirs.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

B O O B I E S! We all know that she’s a boob lover. No matter the size, Van is all over it. I mean she literally spelt it out for us. There’s something inside that tells me they would casually mess with them too. The hand on you always finds its way under your bra. The underwire is basically bent to accommodate her hand. She’s obsessed with marking them too. Not in a possessive way really, just in a way where they cannot separate themselves even if they wanted to.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Feasts. Literally the biggest munch. She is always down to clean you off after you finish. And her hands. LAWDDDDD. Ik she loves making you taste yourself off of her fingers or even her mouth..When you’re topping it’s not even a question before you set your knees to either side of her head. They want to be suffocated in you. When you pull back and see yourself on her chin it nearly makes her eyes roll back when you lick it off. Van is sloppy with it too. Allowing you to grind down hard into their mouth. Their hands finding your thighs and caging you down into them when you try to pull away.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Loves biting. More than just hickeys and marking her. Although, now that you mention it….. -In this department we’re talking actually breaking skin. Whether that’s you biting her lip to ground yourself while her hands are preoccupied, or her biting your shoulder to keep quiet. The taste of metal and sweat just does something to them. Finding nail marks along her back is a turn on as well. Marking is huge for them but specifically feeling your teeth rip through her sensitive skin is near heavenly.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Van isn’t necessarily a player, she ‘gets her needs met’. One night stands that they can roll over after and forget about. I firmly believe they will do anything you ask them, or rather tell them, to do. She loves being bossed around even by someone who’s less experienced, she is just a big woman enjoyer. She wants to know that what she’s doing makes you feel good. (Which is why she gets you as loud as she can..)

F= Favorite position

Van wants to see you. Missionary with a little spice if you will. Nothing beats the sound of your strangled breaths being gasped into her open mouth. If roles are reversed, she would rather feel you on her. Skin to skin. Pressing your core down into theirs. They want all of you. Biting onto their shoulder in relief while you shake against them. They could die happy knowing they’ve experienced that. With their hands tied up too, i mean… They would be straining at not being able to touch you but god would it feel so incredibly good to watch you use them.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

This is Vanessa Palmer we’re talking about people. The goofiest of goobers. She is going to openly discuss the recoil of your boobs while you’re grinding down on her. The way you say her name. The moans that leave your mouth will be brought up after the fact. Even if you’re the one topping her, she will find a way to try and throw you off of your game. That or she’ll tease you until you have to crack down on her which…she’s not comparing that’s for sure.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

All natural and doesn’t mind their partners habits. She is a constant believer that you should do what makes you most comfortable. They’re going to be diving in anyways and honestly it’s more comfortable on their face when they’re going down on you.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

A mix of both. The hot and heavy passion is found with a hint of bite. She L O V E S to fight for dominance. Part of the fun of sex to her is the dance of it all. Finding what feels good and breaking someone down. (Being broken down..) To be so real with you, she wants to be shut up. To be flustered to a point to where words are beyond comprehension anymore. So who is she to complain when there’s a particularly rough thrust of your fingers and your opposite hand covers her mouth? She’s getting exactly what she was asking for when she got mouthy or decided to keep teasing you.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Now that she’s with you, it’s only when you’re not around that she feels the need to help herself out. I don’t think her sex drive is particularly low either, which makes the time you’re off at work, or generally away for long periods of time, so tough. A lot of the time it’s subconscious when you both start to get in the mood. Slowly feeding off of one another’s comments and flirtatious jokes. Suddenly you’d be knee deep in the bathroom of some shitty party neither of you really wanted to attend, and she would be grasping at the strands of your hair for dear life. If she couldn’t do that, or you’d been out for a while, she has plenty of tapes in her shop to help her out. Nothing beats the real thing though, and she’s painfully aware of that.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

I think Van would like being dominated. Like fully to the point of having her hands tied behind her back and her knees getting red and achy from how long she’s been forced down for you. She wouldn’t trade it for the world especially when she sees the look in your eyes. The way you look so strong, so confident. The way you compliment her behavior is also so rewarding to her. Being used is so rewarding to her. The same way she looks for a prophet in odd circumstances, she looks to you like a god. Wanting to be the perfect acolyte.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Generally I think Van enjoys the comfort and safety of being home and having time to take care of you. Or even just being as loud as either of you need to be. She wants to have all of you, not just a taste. If you’re in public there isn’t a conceivable universe where Van would say no to something quick just to make you more comfortable or just generally make you happy. Never would they want to do anything infront of anyone though. They want you to themselves. Selfish, maybe, but it’s the truth.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Intelligent people. Witty banter is such a turn on, especially when someone is confident and forward. She loves the feeling of not having to carry a conversation on her back for once, especially if you’re so slick with it too. Van is such a goner for movie lovers. It’s just in her blood. Halloween has her dead when you walk out dressed as the Violet to her Corky or alternatively the Evie to her Randy; circa. “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love” (underrated btw)

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Van will not do something in public. Not to say they won’t sneak off somewhere but the idea of anyone else seeing that side of either of you is a big no. Van doesn’t particularly enjoying sharing. Jealous Van has a special place in my heart though..

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Van has always been a giver. Wanting to take care of anyone that they care about. So when she eats like a woman starved it is a surprise to no one. She loves the idea of giving while also being kept in place. Your hand pushing her closer in a possessive kind of way. Now receiving… my man is a mess. She is quite literally putty in your hands. Letting out soft noises of appreciation. Their panicked hands roaming, trying to find anything to ground themselves. They would be the type to enjoy the loss of control. As long as it pleases you, it pleases them.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

Van prefers to take their time. She wants to be able to show you just how much she appreciates you. Soft kisses and lingering hands. However, if you catch her in a moment of weakness, forget it. They’re all hands, grabbing and pulling you down with them. Slipping into a feral state where all she wants is to make you feel good. Especially if you’re both working the store and she closes early just for a little more time to savor you. If you won’t let her close it’s fast and impatient in your shared bathroom. It’s sloppy and passionate and Van will remind you the whole time exactly what you do to them. Van can take care of you for hours but they’re pretty destroyed after two rounds. Ik she loves overstim tho- who said that!?

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

If you’re expressing any kind of interest while you’re out, she’s on it. A bathroom stall, the car, under the fucking counter. She would rather die than say no to you. Especially when she’s just as needy as you are. Van is measured and precise in these moments. Years of learning your body and knowing exactly how to get you there. I know she loves tasting you but if they have to, they will use their hands. Quickly filling you up and watching you break apart. I mean that back seat has seen many things man, but it’s unparalleled to the noises that escape you when Van is on a mission.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Van will try anything once, unless it involves other people watching. They are truly so loyal and so in love it would kind of break their heart a little to watch you need somebody else. EXCEPT: Taissa. Although it isn’t spoken about, Van never really stopped loving her and if the opportunity arose…hey now. Otherwise Van would do anything you asked of them. Even if they felt a flip in their stomach at the idea of you doing things to them. Van is such a whiny bottom I can’t-

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

If Van’s receiving they can last two to three rounds pretty normally. However, they will never not accept. Originally it takes a little while to get them there but after the second round she’s falling apart. You’re licking up and down their slit while she’s gripping at your hair. Watery eyes and her lip torn from the pressure of her own teeth. Sucking in sharp breaths as you press harder into her bundle of nerves. Their body shaking but never really pulling away. Fourth of the night and all Van can do is take it exactly how you told her to.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

I firmly believe that Van appreciates hands and mouths more than anything. AND CORE TO CORE. This woman goes feral at the chance to feel your slick against hers. Especially with you on top- I don’t think she would be against toys though. Probably owning a few. Generally they’d rather feel you than fill you but either way the sounds you make are worth it.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

The teasing is relentless. Just messing with them to a point where they don’t even know their own name. Dragging your fingers over their boxers while she’s moaning into your open mouth. I know they go feral for just moments like that. One another’s hands down the other’s pants. She wants to hear your gasps in her open mouth but feeling you refuse to touch them right where they need you to, drives them fucking insane. Maybe even pulling your head to hers in an attempt to persuade you to stop being such a dick. But she can’t pretend she doesn’t love it. The feeling of you smirking into the kiss and lightly pressing a finger into their core. Their entire brain turns to mush.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

I’d like to believe, selfishly, that Van is loud; but I really doubt it. Although she wants to be, there’s a voice in the back of her head that just won’t let her. They probably enjoy something in their mouth to stop them from sounding so pathetic. Whether that’s your hand or a few fingers, she automatically obliges. I bet Van loves hands too.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

oooooo! Praise kink! Van wants to be called a good girl and that’s just the truth. Maybe not exactly those words, they’d probably be mortified after the first time that slipped your lips. Not at the fact you said it, at the sound of the moan reverberating out of their mouth. When you tell them how good they’re doing for you, or how good they make you feel. She’s gone. They literally have no thoughts other than being the best for you. When you treat them with gentle hands on their face while you’re obliterating them, it fully breaks their brain. Pants and begs leave their open lips as you pull roughly at their hair. Just forcing them closer to your core. The encouragement of you saying how handsome them look under you really gets them going.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

Does not shave that’s pretty obvious, but I would say their body type is rather curvy. Having broader hips and more full thighs. I know they try to minimize just how much they show off but lord help us all. They have muscle for sure, even with the curves, they’re rather strong. Very feint ridges and scars line most of their body and I think that’s pretty fucking hot.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

Shes such a loser dude. Literally all over you, always. (Femme) When you wear long dresses, even just flowery patterns in the summer, they’re gone. All over you in an instant and begging to wait another twenty minutes before opening the shop. Not to mention the fact that you look at them with those eyes all day. Knowing you have this effect on them. (Masc) The sight of you in their clothes makes them nearly jump your bones. She’s actually pretty possessive even if she doesn’t show it openly. Watching the way that customers interact with you, the same way you would her. Once you’re alone they’re tugging off the layers of the button up you stole and showing you just how insane it drove them.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

My man is tired. Probably absolutely destroyed and beyond exhausted if they’re receiving. She prefers to watch something afterwards, just to cool down and relax a little. Definitely some cheesy comedy that has little relevance to either of you. Van always says that they’re fine but you know better. Helping them change and getting into bed together. They love when you play with their hair too. It’s cannon to me that she’s a little spoon, idc about the teen timeline just trust me.

My new favorite thing is the funky little ombré texts 🤍

• I am working on the TaiVan fic don’t worry

[silvrash-797]

Glassbound

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Welcome back! I finally finished the next chapter, and it is a roller coaster!

Chapter 5: The Bottle

Hyrule woke slowly. He’d had the most amazing dream. There'd been moments of panic, but they were far outweighed by the comfort…water, sweet and cool, running down his parched throat…being able to move without pain…his brother, Four, holding him tight, safe and warm…

Warm.

He was actually warm!

Hyrule's eyes jerked open and he sat upright with a gasp. A white, feathery cape edged in blue fell from around his shoulders. He gathered it in shaking fingers, hardly daring to hope…

Tears pricked in his eyes as he caught movement in his peripheral vision. Four stood framed in the doorway, a soft smile on his face.

“Are you really here?” Hyrule asked, voice trembling. “I’m not dreaming?”

Four gently shook his head. “You’re not dreaming. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Hyrule buried his face in his hands, hiding the tears of relief that overflowed, but he could not hide the shaking that accompanied it.

Footsteps approached; strong arms wrapped him tightly in a hug, and Hyrule melted into the Smithy’s embrace. The touch grounded him. 

Four was here. 

He’d been found. 

It hadn’t been a dream. 

He allowed the emotions to run for a few more shaky breaths before taking a deeper one, gently pushing them down and away. They needed to make a plan.

Carefully, Hyrule sat up, still encircled lightly in the Smithy’s arms. “How long was I asleep?”

Four's head tilted as he deliberated. “Most of a day, I’d say,” he finally replied. “You must be starving.”

A distinct grumble accentuated Four’s words, and Hyrule flushed. 

Four chuckled. “C'mon,” he said, standing and helping Hyrule do the same. “It's nothing fancy, but I found some berries and nuts that should help. We’ve got plenty of water, too.”

Hyrule staggered but kept his feet as Four led him out of the room towards a veritable feast of foraged items. Four left his water skin then strode to the base of the stairs, keeping watch.

Hyrule selected a plump purple berry and broke the delicate skin between his teeth. Juice sweet as honey spilled into his mouth, and he sighed in bliss as the sugar fed his magic stores. 

He chose another fruit, more tart but still wonderfully sweet, to follow the first berry before picking up a handful of nuts and mushrooms. He inhaled their earthy aroma as he popped each one into his mouth, their woody crunch a perfect counter to the rich sweetness of the fruit. 

It certainly beat the bread and cheese the Boss had given him. Certainly beat what he could usually forage in his own Era.

He ate until he no longer felt hollow, saving some of the delicate, sweet wafer cakes for last. He could have eaten double the amount and still had some left over, but he didn’t know how long it had been since Four had eaten. 

Washing everything down with several long, sweet gulps of water, Hyrule finally left the food and picked his way to where Four was watching the stairs. 

Four's ears twitched as he approached. “How certain are you that they’ll take two days to come back?” the Smithy asked, turning around.

“I’m not,” Hyrule shrugged. “It’s just that they came the first time after I’d been alone two days, and two days later they came again. Since we can’t go more than three days without water, and they presumably want us alive…it lends itself to a pattern.”

“Do you feel strong enough we could leave early?” 

Hyrule probed at his internal magic store. It twinkled back at him, reassuring in its presence. “I have enough to turn into a fairy now, but I’d be pretty dizzy after.”

Four tilted his head, eyes jumping around the room as he thought. “Then, why don’t we go finish what we foraged, and make a quick turn around the keep. If we don’t see anyone, we can head out. What do you think?”

Hyrule didn’t have to think long. He desperately missed the sun. “Sounds good.”

Four insisted that Hyrule eat most of the food, though when Hyrule tried his best to mimic Time's “Disappointed Dad” face, he did take a handful of nuts and berries, along with half the remaining wafer cakes. The extra sugar and nutrients – coupled with his full day's rest – boosted his magic stores, enough that he’d be able to function as a fairy, though he still wouldn’t be able to use any of his other spells.

As they ascended the steps from the cellar – for the final time, Hylia, please! – Hyrule's heart pounded a staccato rhythm in his chest. They passed the place they’d been ambushed yesterday; when nobody blocked the stairs the rhythm eased slightly. Finally, they made it out of the cellar and into the main keep. 

Dazzling sunlight burst through the tall glass windows, assaulting Hyrule's dark-adjusted eyes. He welcomed the pleasant burn, squinting through the glare until his vision settled and he could take in the beautiful green forest surrounding the keep.

His heart ached to be out there already, but they had to be certain it was safe.

“You couldn’t just stay put and behave, could ya?”

Ice tore through Hyrule's veins at the sound. He whirled and froze as the Boss stalked up to the pair of Heroes, growling. 

The giant man drew a dagger from his belt and gripped it tightly in his right hand. “We finally find the Captain, give him our message, and come back to take you quietly, but you had to make this difficult.”

The Boss made a motion that Hyrule recognized. It was the one Warriors used when he wanted them to surround an enemy camp; Hyrule’s breath caught in his throat as the two tall soldiers emerged from the shadows to flank them.

“We weren’t gonna hurt ya too bad, but all that’s off the table now.” 

“RUN!” Four shouted, grabbing Hyrule's hand and ducking between the Boss and the soldier on his left. The Boss made a clumsy swipe with his dagger, the tip just catching Hyrule's left shoulder.

Adrenaline dulled any pain from the cut, and Hyrule welcomed it as they sprinted away from the soldiers. Four led them on a convoluted path through the keep, trying to lose the three men. They ended up in an abandoned kitchen, judging by the pots and bowls scattered around the room.

Hyrule slid to the floor under a countertop, panting. He winced as he clutched at the cut in his shoulder. He almost used his Life spell to heal the wound, but remembered he was saving his magic for Fairy instead. 

He hissed a gentle curse, then let his head hit the wall behind him with a satisfying thud.

Four had been hovering just inside the door, listening for following footsteps. He sighed, then joined Hyrule on the floor. “I think we lost them, for now. Let’s take a look at that, Rulie.” He helped Hyrule take off both tunics to get a better look at the wound. 

Hyrule carefully shifted to see it better. It was long and wide, but not too deep; a potion would heal it easily, if they had one. Blood seeped from the surface, winding a thin thread down his bicep.

Distantly, Hyrule watched Four dig through his pack, pulling out empty bottles and a handful of items before he extracted a nearly empty roll of clean bandages. Next came the water skin, swiftly unstoppered and poured over a clean piece of gauze. Hyrule flinched as Four gently cleaned the blood from his arm.

“Sorry,” Four murmured as he efficiently wrapped and tied off the last of the bandages. “That should hold it for now.”

Hyrule shifted his arm, still feeling the cut, but pleased with Four's work. The bandages were too bulky for his brown undertunic, so he replaced just the green, sleeveless overtunic, handing the brown to Four to keep in his pack for now. 

Four was nearly done repacking his bag when they both froze, hearing voices echoing down the hall. Hyrule's heart took off, unwilling to face his captors again. “We need to shrink, now,” he insisted, standing. “Do you have a portal nearby?”

“There’s always a Minish portal in a kitchen.” Four's eyes darted around before settling on an overturned pot in the far corner of the room. “There!”

As Four dashed towards the pot, Hyrule muttered the words of the Fairy spell. A beautiful golden light enveloped him as his surroundings expanded. Delicate gossamer wings grew from his shoulders and back, and he gave them an experimental flap before launching himself into the air. 

He flitted to the pot Four was just tumbling out of, chiming gently as Four brushed off his tunic. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Four chittered back, multi-colored tail waving languidly. The language he used wasn’t Fae, and it wasn’t Hylian, but Hyrule understood it well enough. “The exit from those portals always looks worse than it really is.”

“Good. I can hear those soldiers coming closer, we need to go.”

Four nodded, then turned to scamper along the wall. Hoping he knew where he was going, Hyrule hovered after him.

They wove through several hallways, staying low and near the walls. After a while, they lost the echoing voices, which loosened the knot of anxiety in Hyrule's belly. He landed near Four to rest his wings when the Smithy stopped to contemplate an intersection.

“Ey, lookit ‘ere!” A raucous voice shouted out. Hyrule released a startled chime and whirled around, hand grasping for a nonexistent weapon. “I found me a genu-ine fairy!”

The two tall soldiers advanced from further down the hallway, arguing loudly. “Naw, ya can't've. It ain’t in a pot!”

“No, but lookee, Toralt!” the first speaker gestured towards Hyrule broadly. He tried to dim his glow, but it was too late. “It’s a light fairy, wearin' the Hero's clothes! Mebbe someone let it go!”

“What's that mouse it’s with?” the other soldier – Toralt, apparently, which made the first Vitch – asked.

“This isn’t good,” Four whispered to Hyrule, bristling. “Get ready to run for it.”

“Does it matter?!” Vitch was giddy with his apparent discovery. “Gimme your bug net an' that bottle you found in the kitchen! We’ll catch ‘em both and bring ‘em to Rulow! Mebbe they can help us find those Hero brats.”

Toralt leered down at the miniscule pair. “Ya gonna be nice little beasties an' hold still for us?”

“Not on your life!” Four chattered angrily in that odd language.

Hyrule chimed his agreement, then shot off the ground at the same moment Four scampered away from the soldiers. The two men yelped and gave chase.

Hyrule tried every maneuver he could think of, heart hammering as each swipe of the bug net came closer and closer. His energy was waning; he had to get away now, or he wouldn’t last much longer.

The net passed by him again, so close that the displaced air sent him tumbling for a moment. 

That was all it took.

The return pass enveloped his body in poorly woven mesh, fouling his wings and ensnaring his arms and legs. Hyrule gasped and struggled but only succeeded in tangling himself further. A desperate peal of bells left him as his wings crumpled and tore in the unforgiving net.

A massive hand closed around the mouth of the net, sealing his exit and shifting the mesh enough that his trapped right arm was pulled dangerously far behind his back. Before he could get enough leverage to shift the pressure, the joint of his shoulder popped, and tore; a discordant jangle erupted from the depths of his soul as the pain washed over him. 

Blinking black spots from his vision, Hyrule tried to focus on his surroundings through the pain in his arm, but the world whirled dizzily as Vitch jogged over to his companion who, once Hyrule could see clearly, had managed to capture a struggling Four in one fist.

“Get that bottle open, Vitch. This’n bites like a devil!”

Through the haze of mesh and pain, Hyrule watched Four hiss and struggle as the bottle – bulbous and familiar, they must have left one in the kitchen on accident – drew closer. Toralt shoved the little Minish inside, and Four immediately tried scaling the glass to escape, only to be shaken back to the bottom.

The net shifted, and Hyrule screamed a string of bells as his injured arm was jostled. Vitch moved his hand, opening the net, but Hyrule had no hope of escape. Not with his wings crumpled and torn and his shoulder dislocated. 

He could only hope the man would be gentle.

“Gotcha good, didn’t I?” Vitch sneered down at him, all giddiness gone. “Serves ya right, fer tryna get away so long. Don’t you fairies want ta help people?”

Hyrule chimed weakly in response, but he was fading fast. 

The strong, callused hand of the soldier grasped him firmly around his middle; Hyrule shrieked as his ribs protested the pressure. Bumbling fingers extracted his limbs and wings, and merciful darkness briefly stole his consciousness.

When Hyrule roused, the soldier was holding him by the back of his tunic and upper wings, pinning him firmly in place. The man pulled a dagger from his belt and held it threateningly against Hyrule's stomach. “Ya better start behavin'. Better be worth the work it took to catch ya.”

A spasm of pain rolled through Hyrule and he shivered, the movement causing the tip of the dagger to pierce the skin above his right hip. 

Hyrule could only manage a pathetic tinkling of bells in response.

Vitch scoffed and tossed Hyrule into the bottle with Four. His head hit the rim of the bottle so hard he saw stars; immediately he felt warm blood begin to trickle down his face.

“HYRULE!” Four exclaimed, still in that non-Hylian language. “Stay with me, Link!”

Hyrule could only lay slumped against the wall of the bottle, blood streaming down his face, as the cork was shoved home.

[chatterbox-73]

Twelve days of Smutcember 2022.

Day 9 - All wrapped up.

Shota Aizawa x fem!Reader

This story is a smut story for Smutcember, I’ll be writing more characters x reader one shots for Smutcember and if you want to see a character please let me know...

finally I think it’s important to note, I might be a person who celebrates Christmas, however I know not everyone does so I won’t/try not to mention or reference any particular festive holiday in these one shots, out of respect for everyone.

You must be 18 years or older to read this...

🔞⚠️NO MINORS ALLOWED⚠️🔞

Summary: your vampire boss finally falls victim to his desires.

Word count: 838

CW: vampire AU, slight bondage, biting, blood, unprotected sex, riding.

You tapped on the door that leaded into the study of your boss, “come in” called the gruff voice of your boss, you walked into the room only to find your boss sitting at his large desk staring you down, “I have your meal” you said as you began to approach his desk. Your boss. Aizawa Shota. Was an aristocratic vampire, he has lived many centuries, the man had lived so long you had watched him begin to give up on life, “do you want to eat?” You asked as you placed the tray in front of him, Aizawa sat back in his chair and shook his head, “sir, you should eat something” you replied and placed the opened napkin on his lap, the man pulled the tray off his desk and watched as the food covered the floor, “clean this shit up” he sighed and leaned back in his chair.

You grumbled to yourself as you went to get a broom and shovel, you walked back into the office and went straight to cleaning up the mess, Aizawa watched your every move as you cleaned the mess he made, his felt on edge, his fingertips tinged, his stomach twisted into a knot, his heart raced, his head pounded, his teeth ached and his throat was hot and dry. It had been so very long since he had a taste of blood and even longer since the last time he’d touched a woman’s body, and here you were ripe for the picking, Aizawa cleared his throat and pulled his eyes off you, “I’m finished now… are you sure you’re not going to eat?” You asked and the man side eyed you, “alright fine” you huffed and began to leave the room only to have the door shut, you jumped and looked back at the man, his eyes glowed yellow and you saw the ribbons of blood start to appear from his body, one particularly thick ribbon came together and quickly wrapped around you, before pulling you towards the man.

Standing in front of Aizawa, you didn’t bother struggle as you’d learned it just made things worse, though compared to other vampires, both noble and common they tended to be quite ruthless on humans, “are you nervous?” He asked in a soft tone and you shook your head, you lied, you were terrified, “you’re lying… please don’t do that” he said and you nodded, “I’m really afraid…” you spoke and the man smiled, “will you kill me…?” You asked in a shaky voice and Aizawa shook his head, “no, but I’m quite hungry… I’d like to feed on you” he said as he pulled you closer, grabbing your wrist and holding it to his nose, the vampiric man breathed in your scent, he hummed before he licked your skin, you gasped and jumped this caused the man to pull you into him. Falling into Aizawa’s lap, your heart skipped a beat as his blood ribbons wrapped tighter around you, he pressed his face into your neck and he hummed, “I’m starved… please allow me you eat until I’m satisfied” he whispered against your skin, you nodded and tilted your head back, you weren’t too sure why you agreed so quickly but you’d heard when vampire’s drunk blood for someone their bites were able to aroused and even complete their ‘victim’, you weren’t too sure how turned this was but you couldn’t see the harm in him taking some of your blood.

“Be gentle…” you said and closed your eyes, Aizawa laughed and grabbed a hold of the collar on your shirt before unbuttoning it, in a matter of moments the man stripped you of your clothes, you were about to cover your naked body with your hands only to have his ribbons wrapped tighter around your body to stop you, you felt Aizawa pulling your body tight to his, “I want to be in you… I want you to satisfy me deep in my loins” he said as he began to undo his pants, “may I…?” He asked and you nodded, Aizawa then lifted you on to his erect penis, you moaned at the feeling of him stretching you tightness. Aizawa groaned and grabbed your thighs tightly, moving you up and down, you felt yourself getting closer you to your limit, the way his hands gripped on to you tightly and his blood ribbons squeezed your body, it was all almost too much for you.

The man desperately lick your skin before sinking his shape fangs, both your bodies stiffened in before you heard Aizawa gulping down your blood, this instantly threw you over the edge, moaned out at the feeling of his body pleasing you and his throat greedily drinking your blood, the man continued to seek his own pleasure, it’d be a long night, you were now the vampire’s prey, his toy and you were going to act as such… “my little toy… All wrapped up.” Aizawa hummed against you neck before sinking his teeth in deeper.

Day 8: Holidays together - Erwin Smith

Day 10: Meaningful Gift - Shigura Sohma

Smutcember Masterlist.

[flowerandblood]

My Best Friend (24)

[modern! club owner • Aemond x fem!reader]    

[warnings: kissing, fluff, swearing]

[description: Aemond has his own club and often does business at the home of one of his business associates. There he often meets his younger sister, with whom he develops a deeper relationship through shared secrets. This is slow burn love story.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Aemond was talking to his manager about one of the delayed orders when the bartender suddenly walked into his office. Aemond was about to point out, annoyed, that he should have knocked first, but he didn't let him get a word in.

"Boss, Alys is talking to your... girlfriend." He said quickly. "I thought you should know."

There was a sudden, awkward silence in the room. Aemond felt his jaw clench painfully in a grimace of fury. He closed his eye, trying to control himself so that in front of his employees he wouldn't run out of the office and just beat her up. She was a woman, after all, but he wanted to rip her hair out. He apologized to his manager and left, his hands clenched, his heart pounding in his chest.

He felt a cold sweat seeing them together at the bar. He was afraid of what Alys might say to her. That she would start telling her about their excesses together, and Y/N wouldn't be able to look at him again. To his surprise, it seemed like Alys was more frustrated with the conversation than Y/N. He walked over to them and stood next to Y/N, giving Alys a challenging look.

"Y/N, wait for me by the car." He spoke calmly, trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible. Y/N gave him a hurt look. He pulled her head to him and kissed her hair, not looking at Alys' surprised expression. "I'll be in a moment."

Y/N nodded, finished her drink, and jumped off, heading for the exit. Aemond watched her go before he spoke up to Alys, who looked at him expectantly.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked through clenched teeth, finally turning his gaze on her. Alys reached out to touch his chest, but he pulled away. "Do not touch me."

Alys laughed.

"You don't have to pretend in front of me. I know you a little already." She nodded as she drank the rest of her drink. Aemond thought she didn't know him at all, but he wasn't going to argue with her or push her with words. He was furious.

"Never talk to her again. Don't approach her. Don't even look at her." He said coldly.

"And to you? I'm not allowed to talk, come up and look at you either? Did she put a muzzle on your dick?" She asked, looking at him with raised eyebrows.

Aemond lost control of himself and laughed out loud. He shook his head in disbelief.

"What a dumb cunt you are. Maybe I'll explain it differently." He said leaning over her. His gaze was dark. "She's mine. Only mine. Somehow, since I've been with her, I've lost the urge to fuck old powder ladies." He said with an ironic smile. Alys laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. Her expression wasn't so sure anymore.

“The urge to fuck cute schoolgirls will pass too. Like everything. This is what you are. I am like that too.” She shrugged, crossing her legs. She did it in such a way that her lace panties could be seen for a moment. Aemond wondered how this might have affected him before. He felt embarrassed.

"I don't give a shit what you're thinking in that dry little head of yours. I don't trust you, I don't believe you. I look at you and I want to laugh. Laugh that I wanted these fucking threesomes with you and now I have to deal with you. If it was even fucking worth it. But it wasn't. It. Wasn’t.“ He said the last words emphatically. Alys's face was red, her chest rising and falling in anger.

“Maybe I should tell her what you did and said to me? Maybe she'd be interested in what you thought of me when you were fucking me?" She asked through pursed lips.

“She knows I've done some fucked up stuff. She knows because I told her, you stupid whore." He said and walked past her, having had enough. He didn't want to see or hear her anymore. The last thing he wanted was blackmail. He regretted everything he'd done with her, afraid Y/N could only think worse of him now. 

He was shocked at how leaving club by Y/N was enough to turn his behavior back to aggressive and ruthless. He thanked God that he would spend a few days with her, hoping that this would bring him back to balance.

He left the club and looked around and sighed softly, seeing that Y/N was leaning against his car, staring at her legs. He could see that her eyes were red, she must have been crying again. He pursed his lips at the sight. He felt sorry for himself that even though she gave him everything he wanted, she still had to suffer because of him and be ashamed of him.

He approached her hesitantly, but she didn't look at him. He took her chin in his hand and gently lifted it, forcing her to look at him. He stroked her cheek with his thumb. Y/N looked at him with sadness and regret. He sighed softly.

"Forgive me that you still have to be ashamed of me." He said honestly, disgust with himself could be seen in his eyes. He was tired. "The longer I'm with you, the more things I regret about my past, but there's nothing I can do about it." He pursed his lips for a moment. "What did she tell you?" He asked uncertainly.

Y/N shrugged. She was silent for a moment.

"Actually, nothing. It turned out that someone was taking pictures of us then… in the park.”

Aemond's eyes widened in shock. He was about to say something but Y/N spoke first.

“She told me that Marcus' men beat the photographer in front of his car and destroyed his equipment. The photographer had to complain to Albert. Anyway, fortunately for us, nothing survived. We need to buy Marcus a box of chocolates." She said sarcastically, swallowing hard.

Aemond sighed softly, running a hand over his face. He was instantly relieved, but still felt guilty that his drunken idea might cost them a lot.

"I’m sorry." He said looking to the side. "I do not know what to say. I'm irresponsible, although I'd like to think of myself differently." He confessed regretfully. He flinched when he felt Y/N touch his shoulder.

"What did you say to her?" She asked quietly, not looking at him. Aemond pursed his lips. He didn't want to talk about it. But he knew she deserved to hear it. He sighed heavily.

"Not too many good words. Most of all, that I regret everything I did with her. That I regret that I have to deal with her. And that I don't want her ever getting close to you again." He said, hoping this summary would suffice for her. Y/N was silent for a moment. She finally looked at him. Aemond leaned in, touching his forehead to hers. He took her face in his hands. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs for a moment. They both calmed down.

"Let's go, my nymph. Let's eat something together. Let's think about what we'll be doing for the next few days. Let's try to deal with it all together. Hm?” He asked and brushed his nose across the tip of her nose. She blinked and nodded.

"All right."

***

They went to one of his favorite Italian restaurants. Aemond was eager to cheer her up. Their last day had been very pleasant and he wanted all the others to be the same. He felt that he calmed down with her, he was not so aggressive and stressed. He didn't want to go back to where he was before he met her. Or maybe not that he didn't want to, but he couldn't.

They sat down at one of the tables. They both chose spaghetti and water to drink. Aemond stared at her wordlessly. He could see that she was deep in thought, and even though she wasn't quite as sad anymore, he knew she was still thinking about the situation from an hour ago. 

What he feared the most was that Y/N was comparing herself to her. Physically and mentally. That she thought he expected her to somehow resemble Alys to please him. He didn't know how to explain to her that this was the last thing he wanted. He took a sip from his glass of water and pursed his lips. 

"I'd hate for you to compare yourself to Kate or Alys." He started suddenly without looking at her. She gave him a surprised look, not expecting him to bring up the subject again. "Anyhow." He said calmly, looking at her. Y/N blushed at his words, looking around to see if anyone heard them. Music was playing in the background and their table was off to the side, no one was looking at them.

Y/N swallowed. The waiter brought their order and they started eating. She wondered what she should answer him. She decided that this might be the right time to share her concerns about this with him.

“Sometimes I'm afraid I can't give you anything new. Nothing surprising. You won't discover anything with me." She said looking at him embarrassed. He swallowed his food, looking at her, shocked with her confession. He didn't know what to say. He was silent for a moment.

“You always give me something new. Our relationship is one big novelty for me." He said, tilting his head to the side, trying to put his thoughts into words. Y/N sighed.

"That's not what I'm about. I mean the physical aspect.” She finished quietly, fiddling with the fork in her plate, involuntarily twirling the noodles on it. Aemond swallowed softly. He had no idea she thought of it that way. He thought for a moment, trying to put his thoughts into the right words.

“I thought discovering new things and positions would give me more pleasure. But it didn’t. I've had a lot of disappointment.” He said with a note of regret in his voice.” Sex can be a simple relief, the same as when you drink water when you are thirsty. But it can also be something more. I only discovered it with you." He admitted, staring at his glass absently. 

Y/N blushed at his words and shrank into herself. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. They both jumped suddenly, surprised and out of their thoughts. Aemond took out his cell phone and when he saw who was calling, he exhaled, squeezing his eye shut.

"Who is this?" She asked quietly, not understanding why he didn't answer. She saw that he was fighting with himself.

"My mother." He said looking away. He disconnected the call and placed the phone on the table. "Lets her search for Aegon in the brothels today." He said, infuriated, that she didn't care what he did or with whom - he had to be at every call because his stupid older brother got drunk again.

Y/N blinked and shifted uneasily in her seat, staring at him with pursed lips.

"What if something bad happened?" She asked quietly. Aemond shot her an angry look.

"I don’t give a shit."

He took a sip of water and his phone started ringing again. He put his glass down with a vengeance and ran his hand over his face, not believing what was happening. He answered, pressing his lips together, trying not to explode.

"Mom, I'm having dinner with Y/N right now. I don't feel like touring brothels." He said coldly. There was a momentary silence on the other end. He tapped his fingers on the counter, impatient.

"Aemond, please. It is your brother. He has problems, but we have to support each other, only he will listen to you."

Aemond squeezed his eye shut. He couldn't bear it anymore.

“Maybe if his mother picked him up once from the brothel, he would finally start to feel ashamed and wonder what he was doing? Have you thought about it?" He asked, feeling that he was losing his patience with himself. Y/N looked at him scared as she saw the frustration building in him. There was silence on the other end of the phone again.

“Your father felt worse again today. I can't leave him here alone, he's on painkillers. He's very emotional about what Aegon is doing." She said practically in a whisper, he could hear her voice cracking and that she was tired too. He wondered why he had to deal with shit like this.

"Fine." He said through clenched teeth and hung up. "Forgive me. I'll drive you to my apartment, you'll wait for me there until I get back, okay?" He asked, getting up from his seat, pulling out his wallet to put the cash on the table. Y/N frowned.

"I'm paying this time. We had a deal, remember?" She asked, putting some bills on the table before he could. He rolled his eyes, impatient. He didn't have the energy to argue. He put the wallet back in his pocket.

"Fine. Let's go."

They left the restaurant, Y/N could see how tense he was. She fastened her seatbelts as he started the engine.

"I'm going with you." She said finally. "After Aegon." 

Aemond laughed loudly, but it was ironic and angry laugh.

"No, you're not. I'm not taking you to a brothel with me." He said dryly, though he tried to sound as gentle as he could.

"I've never been to a brothel. I want to see what this place looks like from the inside. This would be my next first time with you."

_____

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[enm-enthusiast]

Stripping The Pretty Boy Author

Me, an ENM writer here on tumblr, got a taste of my own medicine when I walked into the wrong place, at the wrong time…

“Come on guys, just let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone” I said, my hands in the air in a vain attempt to shield myself from what I was sure was going to be a beating.

“No, we need something on you to keep your mouth shut….let’s have your clothes” their leader said. My cheeks turned red as he said so, even more when his buddies nodded their agreement, a few even eyed me up and down with excitement.

‘What?! No way, I’m not taking my clothes off!” I said, putting my arms up as a defense in case they decided to change their minds. In fact, I hoped they did change their minds…I didn’t want to lose my clothes!

“Then we’ll have to do it for you…strip him naked!” the head gang member said. His cronies jumped at his command, and I was overwhelmed as two of them tackled me to the ground. A third started to take off my shoes and once I was held down, a fourth helped him and soon enough my feet were bare.

“Nooooo, not naked! Please!” I said, but my pleas fell on deaf ears as I felt hands unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt and felt multiple pairs of hands undoing my belt.

“Yes, time to get nude pretty boy,” the gang leader said, crossing his arms and smiling deviously.

“Come on guys, please, don’t do this” I said to the guys holding me down, but they each smiled wickedly and shook their heads at me.

“Oh no pretty boy, you're gonna get naked whether you like it or not” one of them said, a blonde dude that was rather lanky, rather embarrassing that someone like him overpowered me so easily, even with help.

“Come on, let’s get his shirt off” the blonde said and the two helped finish unbuttoning my shirt, but the blonde got a crazed look in his eyes and he tugged at the fabric, sharing a look at his fellows. The three of them understood perfectly as they descended upon me and each grabbed handfuls of my shirt and pulled…sounds of ripping and tearing fabric bared my chest to them all and they discarded the remains of my shirt.

“Okay guys you made your point…please let me go” I said, and they allowed me to stand up but they stayed near me to make sure I didn’t try to run off.

“Not a chance, haha, nice nipples, pretty boy” the blonde said, giving my nipples a twist, his friends following suit, which made my cock twitch and start to harden in my pants. The blonde noticed and he looked at the gang leader again and said:

“Should we take off his pants?” he asked. I struggled uselessly against their iron grip as they grabbed me, dreading the words I knew I’d hear from their boss…

“Great idea, rip 'em off” he said, and while they weren’t looking I saw him kneading his crotch, the sight of it caused me to blush even deeper.

“No, please guys, not my pants!” I begged, my cock growing harder, it was nearly at full erection and my cheeks burned hot at having these guys see it…

“Quiet pretty boy…now boys, let’s rip off his pants!” the blonde said and again, multiple hands reached down, the blonde unbuttoned and unzipped my pants while the others pulled off my belt completely.

“Please! I’m begging you!” I said as they started to pull at my pants like they did my shirt, and while tougher, I could hear rips and tears in the fabric

“Look at that, pretty boy here is begging for his clothes” the blonde said, pulling the sides of the waist part of my pants.

“Well unfortunately for him…he ain’t leaving here unless he’s naked!” one of his friends said, tearing open my pants leg. Just then, I heard a loud RIIIPPPPP and I could feel cold air on my thighs as the blond ripped open the seat of my pants, and his friends then finished pulling and tearing my pants to shreds, leaving me in just my undies…

“Wow, look at those undies! He’s practically naked already!” the blonde said, laughing with wicked delight, and I hung my head in shame.

“Awww, what’s the matter, pretty boy? Is your cock too small?” the gang leader said, and my cock twitched in response.

“No…the opposite problem, but come on guys just let me go!” I said, but the group of them had noticed my crotch now, and all eyes were on the huge boner I was sporting, and I knew they weren’t done…not until they saw everything I was packing.

“Sorry pretty boy, we’re gonna need those undies off too, what a shame” the blonde said, sarcastically apologetic and he grabbed a side of my undies, hooking his fingers beneath the waistband.

“Yeah! Almost naked pretty boy…those undies have got to go!” one of his friends said and grabbed the other side of my undies, and together they slowly inched them downwards, slowly and tortuously completing my exposure at their hands, until finally my cock broke free and slapped against me.

“Ha! Look at his hard cock you guys! not bad pretty boy” the blonde said, even slapping my cock with his bare hand, making me whimper. They let my arms go and I instinctively covered myself with my hands.

“How’s it feel to be naked, huh, pretty boy? You feel humiliated?” the gang leader said as he took photos of me in my naked and embarrassed state.

“Now, move those hands behind your back, let’s get a good look at your cock” he said, and when I didn’t respond the blonde and his friend did it for me as they forced my arms behind me, exposing my hard cock once more.

“Wow, very nice cock pretty boy, too bad you likely don’t know how to use it since you're such a bitch, now…turn around and show us your ass” the leader said. This time, I obeyed and turned around to expose my cheeks, and felt the blond on my left slap my bare ass, making me whimper but I also bit my lip to disguise how turned on it made me.

“Very good, pretty boy…now spread your cheeks and show us your hole!” he said, and again, I obeyed, just hoping this whole ordeal would be over soon. Once he was satisfied, I stood up and turned back around to face them, and they were all smiling as I stood there, completely naked with my cock rock hard between my legs.

“Alright, now can I go? And can I get some clothes, please?” I asked, hoping that my complete and utter humiliation would satisfy them.

“No pretty boy, you're our naked slave now, and pretty bitch boys don’t deserve to wear clothes…” the leader said, and nodded to his minions who grabbed me, bound my arms behind me, and covered my mouth with a gag.

As they started to lead me away, the blonde stopped and said “Hey guys, before we take him back…let’s make him cum!” the blonde said, eyeing my cock hungrily, which throbbed with anticipation.

“Hehe, great idea Steven, you get to do the honors, go on, let’s see him squirt his cum for us” the leader said, opening his phone to record the whole thing.

“Will do” the blonde…Steven, said. He wrapped his hand around my hard shaft, gripping it tightly and making me groan into the gag in my mouth. He expertly started to slowly jerk me off, before steadily increasing his pace, pleasuring my cock so nicely I couldn’t help but moan and whimper as the pressure began to build in my cock.

“That’s right pretty boy, squirt your cum for us” Steven said, going faster now and my legs twitched and my knees turned to jelly as I could feel my body betraying me and my orgasm quickly coming to fruition despite myself.

I groaned loudly into my gag and my body tightened as Steven pointed my cock upwards and I felt my cock burst as I shot my load straight onto my chest. It was one of the largest loads I’d ever blown, and now it dripped all over my naked body.

The others, now satisfied, didn’t bother to clean me up nor did they offer me to do it myself…instead they led me away, to whatever they had in store for me, and I knew that my humiliation…had only just begun

(I hope you all enjoyed this little short story for you all, and yes that is me in the photo, I decided you should see your author stripped for those of you who don’t have a twitter!)

[kariachi]

Have finished playing Monster Hunter Stories 2. My 'it's half-past midnight let me live' thoughts

These fuckers need to stop making me cry, it's rude

Final squad was made up of a Rathalos, Lagiacrus, Pukei-Pukei, Mitzutsune, Barioth, and Nargacuga

Once again the good guys in games are nicer and more forgiving than me, also rude

They dropped a monster I swear I hadn't seen before in front of me on my way to the final boss, this is illegal

The pickle wasn't bad enough they had to add Bazelgeuse to the game too

We would have had a lot less problems if I was allowed unrestricted use of my bow, I'm just saying

Pukei-Pukei are wonderful, if you don't agree you are wrong, I switched to mine so often that the call 'Lao~sin, get in here' is indelibly etched into my brain

Supposedly this is a 35 hour game. I took 83. Make of this what you will.

I overleveled but also used like no channeling or supplements or anything so I think it evened out

For the second game in a row they gave us a final boss I want to ride into battle and did not make it ride-into-battle-able, rude

For some reason the audio in my cutscenes didn't work like 80% of the time, it'd just be all out of sync

Despite this and the fact that I audibly growled over my cutscenes and cussed out many characters like they'd beat my dog in front of me, I really did enjoy this game and heartily recommend it to anybody into turn-based rpgs and/or critter collectors

Hopefully your brain functions better than mine because dear gods the number of times I switched in a monstie on the wrong corner of rock-paper-scissors because my brain threw out the corner I should be gunning for before it finished thinking it needed to know what to gun for and that just threw my everything off

The baby monsties are adorable, especially the Nerscylla, and yet I cannot just keep them small as like little pets. Truly the rudest and most illegal thing of all.

[shizuokadivision]

The Kito-gumi’s headquarters was a fortress of tradition and power, its walls echoing with the whispers of a thousand secrets. Tonight, however, it was the site of a rare celebration — the birthday of Sakura, the revered and feared leader of the Yakuza family. The members gathered, a mix of hardened faces and sharp suits, their conversations a blend of reverence and revelry. Tonight, all of the family was in attendance, especially those in Kito Sakura's, the birthday woman herself, inner circle.

...Well, almost everyone. A certain gambler by the name of Lucille "Lucky Lucy" Takara was, unfortunately, running late to the event, which didn't go unnoticed by the other members of the group. It was 45 minutes later when the woman in question finally slipped through the door, her arrival like a stone cast into a still pond, rippling through the room. She was late, and the package she carried seemed to weigh heavier with each step under the scrutinizing gaze of her comrades.

"Why the delay, Lucille?" sneered Fengzhui Liu, her arms crossed as she appraised Lucille with a critical eye.

Before Lucille could reply, Sakura’s voice cut through the tension. "Enough. Lucille, explain yourself."

Lucille bowed deeply, the package held out before her. "My apologies, Sakura-sama. I was detained by my boyfriend, Zakari. He insisted on sending these gifts for your birthday, from himself and his parents."

Sakura’s stern facade cracked, curiosity piquing as she took the package from Lucille’s hands. The room leaned in, the collective breath of the Kito-gumi held in suspense as she unwrapped the gifts:

Inside was a full deck of playing cards and casino chips with a Chinese dragon and cherry blossom motif on them. And beside them was an authentic Japanese katana, also with a dragon motif on it.

There was also a blank CD taped off the side that only had 'By Renegade' on it.

A letter lay nestled at the bottom, Zakari’s bold script a stark contrast to the delicate treasures above. Sakura read aloud, her voice betraying a hint of warmth that seldom graced her lips.

"Happy birthday, Dragon-Lady! Lucille mentioned last week on our date that today was your birthday, so I had to hurry and get these to hear so she could deliver them to you. Sorry if I made her run late, but I hope you like the gifts! The cards and chips are from my mom, the sword is from me (I bought it at a pawn shop and it remade), and the song is from my dad. I hope you like them! Happy birthday again on your special day!

Sincerely, Zakari Hiroya."

P.S. Be sure to give that song a listen to! You sounded awesome, by the way!

P.P.S. You and the Kito-gumi should think of coming to Gypsy's Palace. My parents would love to have you!

P.P.P.S. Tell Lucille I love her, and I'll see her tomorrow night for our weekly get-together!

As she finished, the room erupted in murmurs of approval. Hikaru Kayama, the flirty head of the Prostitute Branch, leaned over to Irina and whispered, "Seems like Lucy's got herself a keeper, eh?"

Irina, usually as cold as the Russian winters, allowed a small smile. "Da, and one who knows how to charm a dragon."

Giving a scowl to the two heads, who immediately clammed up, Sakura looked at the CD and handed it to one of her underlings to play. She couldn't recall any song she had made recently. She wondered what it was.

The answer became obvious as the beat of the song played throughout the speakers, making Sakura's eyes widen, along with everyone else's...

Sakura smirked as the song ended. She had forgotten that she had recorded the song for Kai and as always the DJ did not fail when it came to producing music.

“My my Boss It’s always a treat to hear you rap,” Hikaru praised. 

“You say that as if we didn't just drop a whole album a while ago Hikaru.” 

“I won’t lie it was quite fun. Far different from what we do normally.”

“Nurarihyon wants to do another one soon!”

“I’m amendable to the idea of doing another one given the profits we’ve acquired so far from the current album.” 

“My point still stands” Hikaru rolled his eyes. “Especially since the Boss has truly got a powerful voice for it.” 

A murmur rippled throughout the room as many of the men agreed that the Boss was easily a powerful rapper. They had better agree Sakura hadn’t spent days being tossed around by Kanon as the scientist had taught her to rap and use a Hypnosis Mic. She would have to thank Zakari and his family for the gifts in return one day perhaps when their birthdays rolled around. 

“Lucille,” The room immediately fell silent as Sakura spoke. The aforementioned blonde gambler jumped at the sound of her name. “Next time you see Zakari give him my thanks and tell him to extend it to his family.” 

“Yes Boss!” Lucille saluted.

“Also...”

“Boss?”

“Zakari says “Love you” and he’ll see you tomorrow.” Sakura laughed as she saw Lucille turn bright red at the message the other members even teasing her for her lover boy. 

[game-boy-pocket]

Well I beat Mario vs Donkey Kong... or rather, I made the credits roll.

Seems the game is not over yet though? I was told the Switch version adds two extra worlds, but I looked at footage of the GBA version and it seems like the same thing happens there. This game is longer than I thought. Will say, seeing some of the GBA footage I can see how some people are unhappy about certain changes. Mostly voice clips and animation. I do think getting rid of the fall stun was a good move though.

Very weird for them to put the credits in the middle of the game like that, I guess this is where the idea of "everybody deserves to finish the game but we also put the more challenging stuff after the credits" trend later Mario games came with may have gotten it's start ( Glad Mario Wonder didn't do that, I like the final boss to actually be the finale. )

Anyway, the game got a lot better toward the end... or should I say middle. Still not beating DK'94 though and I still dislike the toy theme. But the level design was a lot more puzzling with cooler ideas and themes in those last three worlds.

As I'm playing this I can already see myself thinking "I hope they actually make more games in this style." which is always a good sign. I really want more traditional Donkey Kong Country style games and a new 3D Donkey Kong more than anything, but it would be nice to keep the arcade roots alive as well.

If they do make another game, I hope it's more of an equal crossover and not just an Arcade DK and Mario wank fest. There's tons of references to Mario games in the form of toy versions of Shy Guys, Boos, Ninjis, Piranha Plants, and Bob-ombs, as well as 1up mushrooms. Also Toad. What does Donkey Kong get? A generic jungle setting, and a Rhino enemy that kinda evokes memories of Rambi but not really... Nah, give me a Mario vs Donkey Kong Game where 1. Donkey Kong is playable, and 2. other Kongs and Animal Buddies appear in the game. It can be DK Junior if they still have that policy where Diddy isn't allowed to be around DK when he's an antagonist, but I just want more justice for Donkey Kong in this crossover. He is not a split off splinter of the Mario universe, Mario and Donkey Kong are their own thing with a shared universe and origin and they should be repected equally in these crossovers.

Anyway, ramble over, the game... is fun.

[birthclod]

top 5 silmira characters? educate the masses my friend

so uh this got a LOT longer than i anticipated because im very normal about this series. anyways. this is all under the cut

megido and har birthclod

obvious answers. they're my blorbos so of course they're #1. they fucking hate each other <3

megido is far and beyond my favorite ofc. he dresses very classy but is self-motivated and ruthless. he has a rose motif. his idle animation is him shimmying. just look at him. he looks like if jet was a piece of shit (he already is, but not an ~Evil~ piece of shit)

he turns into a fucked up mutated version of himself if his brother dies bc har stabilizes the balance between their attributes so he becomes a weird looking dog version of himself. it's my favorite thing in the whole world.

and har (or hal) is your main villain. he wants to rule the world as it is in spite of his brother who wants it to change back. he's a terrible dad (and yes, the guardian angels do call him dad(dy), it's true). doesn't care what sacrifices are made as long as he can accomplish what he wants to.

also he has muppet mouth sometimes. it's great.

2. zohar metatron / sandalphon

treasure literally gave us this bigender/genderfluid LEGEND and said "here's your rival, they can just switch between attributes on a whim like you" and then doesn't play it for laughs at all. they're like your jealous sibling who learned how to whistle before you did and then when you show them you can also whistle they're like NO FAIR I DID IT FIRST.

also, they can turn into this against their will.

it's supposedly very painful. they have no control over it and they don't even want to fight the protagonist at that point. but it does have the best boss music in the game.

3. faust and sara

i know i keep putting pairs together but I CAN'T HELP IT there's so many good characters in this game. also they're in literally the same area so i should be allowed this one

faust and sara are both hosts of their respective game shows in media city. faust is silhouette and his show revolves around shadow puppetry used as real objects to fight against shyna (including, i kid you not, a fucking tank). sara is mirage and her show is a gambling show with an enormous slot machine. faust gets very little screentime and dialogue but he's just. fucking cool? look at him??? i have no screenshots of his boss fight sadly but it's such a wicked concept. also at the end he turns into a bomb and fucking? explodes??? for the ratings to go up. insane.

sara gets a little more time and she's awesome. here's what she really looks like:

she doesn't like being touched (meaning you can't rob her for money for long, an actual thing you do in this game to get money) and she's so fucking snarky i love her. here's my favorite voice clip of hers, it plays when you finish her fight:

4. serah (featuring delia)

very close name with sara but don't be fooled, they are VERY different! giant fucking butterfly woman!!!

serah was the very first guardian angel, and although it didn't make her the messiah, it did make her a gigantic fucking butterfly. her japanese name is seraphim. you can only fight her under the specific instance that during the last fight with zohar the time limit runs out before you beat them, and then har deletes (re: kills) them in front of you and brings out serah as a more "worthy adversary". also, this is her unique boss theme:

i say featuring delia on the title because delia is connected to her and it'd feel kind of wrong to mention one and not the other. their relationship is only ever implied and not stated outright, but the implication is that they were (are?) married, especially before serah became a guardian angel. the title "your wife is an angel" is referential to this, and har even threatens delia that if he didn't comply he would hurt his precious serah. (in the original japanese, the translation for that part is that he would be forced to "forward" serah; it sounds like an email, but it's supposed to imply he'd put her at the front lines of battle). also, i just wanted to show off delia because he is the third nose guy in this game

you wanna know what his boss fight is? if you guessed "you fight him on his game show where he makes soup and you throw silhouettes into his soup to hurt him", you'd be correct!

5. dynamis

i have nothing to say. just look at her.

she just wants to sell you some flowers. pretty freakin' flowers. :)

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

pablo (a lad, honestly. look at him. absolutely harmless until he turns into a wolf.)

prinsdams (you never fight them because they eat you. also the one on the right has a surfer dude voice it's amazing. he calls shyna little dudette and everything.)

shyna nera shyna (how could i ever leave out our main girl?)

[tofumarinado]

more than okay

Octavia Goetia/Loona - Helluva Boss - 1.4k words

Summary

Octavia discovers that it is okay to have emotions and having ugly feelings towards ur dad is not the end of the world thanks to Loona

...

- "I guess you found me." - Octavia was leaning on the Observatory's balcony, not looking at anything in particular, her sight fixed on the horizon. She noticed Loona coming some moments ago. She heard her paws striking rhythmically against the pavement long before she showed herself. - "I know what you are about to say. That I am a bad daughter for running away. Save your breath. I already know that. I do not need any more lessons today. Let us get this over with" - Octavia felt way too tired to fight.

She didn't even got to see the stars. That's all she wanted. To see the stars with her father. Now that her anger had washed away, all that was left was guilt, and shame. She missed her father, despite everything. Or at least she thought she missed him. She thought she should be missing him, so she settled on that.

- "You know" - Loona had a puff of the lit cigarette - "you don't deserve any of this."

Octavia glanced at her, a slight surprise drawn in her eyes. A slow pause. A beat.

- "I know. You think your dad is a good guy. That he's done all he could do. And honestly, that might be true. The good guy part, I mean. Blitzø is really fucking bad at pretending they're not in love. And it takes a good guy to find something to love in my dad. Believe me."

Another puff. Another pause.

- "That does not change the fact that he failed you. And I'm sure this is not the first time. People don't run away from home because of a one-time thing, speaking from experience. You look like you're at your limit. And you haven't even realized it." - A long puff ensued. Octavia could not help but notice the way the cigarette's light gently illuminated Loona's nose. - "I just want you to know that you're allowed to feel angry at him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not calling anyone until you ask me, okay? I'd rather get my teeth pulled than drag a kid back to a shitty father without their consent. I am an assassin, yes. Technically. I guess. But even I have my standards."

Octavia felt surprised. And relieved. And ashamed. The last thing she expected was kindness.

The relief was soon overcome with the reality of her physical body. She did not eat anything all day, and she was so monumentally exhausted. She abandoned the balcony, sitting with her back against the Observatory walls. Her head felt lighter and heavier somehow. She fixed her sight on the ground. Reality muffling. She was so tired.

- "Hey" - Loona's voice became very soft. - "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like shit." - She paced around for a bit, indecisive. - "Is it okay if I sit with you?"

Octavia shrugged. - "You did not make me feel bad at all. I think I needed to hear that. And you can sit here. It is fine." - Amidst everything that was swirling around her head, some part of her subconscious was relieved that Loona stayed.

- "I do not know why I feel like this, all of a sudden. Sorry, this does not usually happen to me." - Octavia apologized.

- "Girl. You are allowed to have emotions, you know. And you're probably dehydrated as well." - Loona squatted next to the royal heir, facing her direction, glancing at her with a worried expression. She produced a water bottle from one of her pockets, offering it to the young heir. "And sorry again. You probably didn't need to hear all of this shit now. Just. Let's just sit for a while, ok? Let's just... chill. We can decide what to do later." - Her squatting transformed into sitting, now facing away from her.

The young royal tried her hardest not to chug on the water bottle that was offered, instead taking polite, short sips from it until it was finished. Octavia felt what she could only describe as relief. And below that sense of relief, she felt gratefulness towards the hellhound. For the water, the heir thought. But she could not ignore that she was more grateful for her company.

She could feel Loona's body heat radiating against her thighs. The hellhound was pretty close. "Is it normal to sit this close to someone you just met?" - Octavia wondered. She was not used to closeness. It was not appropiate between royalty. But just existing close to her made her come back to her body.

Loona flicked her cigarette off her hand. It was consumed halfway. It dived off the balcony in front of them, still a bright ember on its tip.

The young royal was beginning to calm down a lot more. Her senses coming back to her. The warm breeze, caressing her feathers. The muffled sounds of the big city. Sirens, some fireworks. Or gunshots. She was not prepared for how much she would detest LA. She can't say she wasn't warned about it, though.

Loona shifted, trying to find a posture that could accommodate her tail and not destroy her spine simultaneously.

Octavia noticed now the smell of Loona. Cigarettes. And sweat. And under that, a sweet flowery fragrance. Her fur was shiny and immaculate. Only some dirt on the fur of her paws betraying a day of walking around a big, unpleasant, noisy metropolis.

Loona glanced back and caught her looking at her. Octavia was blushing under her feathers. Both averted their eyes from each other, fixing their sight on the rosewood sky.

- "Hell, this whole ordeal is so embarrassing." - Octavia thought to herself. She was so glad the hellhound was there. She was glad to have someone who tolerated her presence. She also felt understood. The heir of the Goetia family was not used to being around people. Even less used to people who understood her. She was mostly homeschooled, sometimes invited to fancy dinners to parade her around. But she did not want to think about that. She was with Loona now. And she was cool. And she was sticking around. "I deserve this. Even if it's just for a little while. I deserve this moment." - Thought Octavia to herself.

- "Do you want to talk, girl?" - Loona's voice was even softer now. Octavia did not know that was possible. - "It's okay if you don't want to. I don't mind the silence. Just... I'm here. I can listen, okay?" - She said, looking away from the heir, to the light pollution that made the stars afraid to come out.

- "I do not know." - Octavia sighed, looking at the night sky, trying to find an answer to that question. As if her emotions were an astronomical mystery to be unraveled. But there was too much light, thought the young heir. Too much going on.

Some minutes elapsed. The buzzing of the city did not die down, but it somehow sounded more distant, farther away. The sky got noticeably darker. Octavia began to feel a little cold. Her eyes were beginning to transform into slits. She was almost too tired to keep them open.

- "If you're okay with that," - Loona began to propose, picking up on her expression. - "you can rest your head on my shoulder. It helps me sometimes. Only if you're cool with that, though. Physical touch is weird. I get it." - Loona produced a cigarette from her pocket, but stored it back where it came from. - "I figured it's getting a bit cold and" - Loona interrupted herself, seeing that The young royal's head was already making its way to her shoulder. Octavia was so tired.

When her cheek touched her furry shoulder, she realized what she was doing. - "Oh, Lucifer. Is this weird? Is it weird that this is happening? Is it weird that this feels great?" - A million thoughts suddenly flared out inside her brain, her tiredness relegated to a background thought.

Loona passed an arm across her shoulders and gently pressed it against the side of the young royal, her paw continuing until she found her feathery head, and began caressing the top of it, very gently.

At that moment, Octavia felt her body melting. She realized the depth of how touch-starved she was. It felt like years of self-loathing were fading away at that instant. She felt ashamed in realizing how little she needed, and how much it helped.

- "Is this okay?" - Loona asked, a sting of doubt in her voice.

- "This is more than okay" - Octavia wanted to answer. Instead, she nodded, and a soft cooing noise escaped her beak. Octavia was too cozy to feel embarrassed about it now, though.

[suchine-toki]

Ladies That Smash Life’s Balls – The Women of Gintama

By Tony Yao

Go here to see the full article. 

Summary:

Gintama provides a good entry point via its awesome women and I will get into why by discussing 5 of the series’ most important heroines.

Kagura. Does whatever she wants, says whatever she wants, and can intimidate anyone (man or woman). Also gets better treatment in terms of a final resolution for her long-running character arc. While Gintoki helps to fight a deranged Kamui, it is Kagura who actually finishes the fight and convinces Kamui to stop fighting once and for all. For that one instance, the heroine shows off how tough and on par she is with the hero due to her experiences. The heroine, with wonderful support to encourage her, becomes the star with fisticuffs sturdier than most men.

Tae. Is arguably the most powerful “normal” character in terms of handling daily life throughout the whole series. Unlike the real-life hostesses you see in Japan, she beats up her male customers whenever they annoy her. Tae is noted to be a “boss lady” who’s often very proud of herself. She is the “big sister” of the cast. She looks out for people because she wants them to succeed.

Kyuubei. After realizing that her gender change was imposed on her by others, Kyuubei decides to not be a man or woman, but Yagyuu Kyuubei, a person with great strength and character who just happens to be female. Kyuubei is a mirror of many individuals who realize the harm of gender roles imposed on people. She is a fighter against society’s norms placed on what our assigned sex is supposed to represent.

Sacchan. She is a very sexual person who is into BDSM (mostly on the masochistic side). She has no problems talking about her desires like men do, and doesn’t allow herself to be slut-shamed. Sacchan also has the willingness to call out people if they’ve lost their way in life. Fans get to see how ruthless and powerful she can be when it comes to her childhood friends. Sacchan plays hard and works hard, plain and simple.

Tsukuyo. She fights for the courtesans’ rights to do their jobs. She’s a reminder that even though there are women who can’t fight for themselves, some women can and should take on the role of fighting for them as needed. Tsukuyo is a survivor. She’s experienced a world filled with both sex and violence and fought through it with toughness and humor. Her experiences make her a female character that female fans who felt powerless can look up to.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

I feel like you mentioned a while back that you wanted to get an ask about Malenia?? Well, either way here is an ask about Malenia. Tell me your thoughts on her, oh stupendous cosmic entity!

My Thoughts On Malenia Blade Of Miquella huh?

Well then I guess I should go ahead and say that my fascination with her, Miquella and the Haligtree Faction as a whole all began when I was trying to win her boss fight, needless to say it wasn’t going well even with my build at the time as optimized as I could’ve gotten it. So after Erdtree knows how many deaths I decided to see what info I could dig up about her lore wise which led me down a rabbit hole of proportions so epic it rivaled the one I fell down when I first got into Bloodborne. So after a day and a half of scraping the lore I could find on The Haligtree Faction together and making sure I understood it to the best of my abilities I went back at Malenia, died like forty or fifty more times before finally beating her first phase with enough Flasks to get through her Second phase.

I swear I know what I’m doing.

She is un-ironically one of my favorite soulsborne characters, only barely inched out by Maria Of The Astral Clocktower, and Ludwig The Holy Blade.

Her story is something that I *desperately* want to have expanded on just like Rykard’s (who in my opinion, has a story that’s a bit too cut and dry for a Soulsborne Game) not to mention the relationship she has with her brothers Miquella and Radahn mostly Radahn’s because both of them seem WAY to chill to have a fight that ended with Caelid becoming y’know Caelid. On the other hand Miquella seems a bit too squeaky clean to me for a Soulsborne Game, while I don’t think that the theory that he’s controlling Malenia or Mohg is true I don’t dismiss the fact that he was charismatic enough to not only successfully convince an entire army worth of people to join him but was also a master of Mechanics and Magic and his design overall just reminds me a lot of Grifith, but most blondes with long hair in games do so take that with a grain of salt (Now that I think about it The Haligtree is a lot like Falconia, but I should probably get back on track, this is about Malenia.) 

Her design is extremely interesting to me because of how extremely simplistic and down to earth it is, especially when compared with a lot of the other bosses like Radahn and his gold and embellished armor or Radagon and all the stuff going on with his broken teacup looking ass. Malenia’s dress is mostly brown and white while her arm and legs are surprisingly spartan despite being seemingly made of gold or a gold like substance. And speaking of her arm the shoulder pad thing she has it just does more to enforce that she’s a soldier or that’s what she views herself as. The only thing that goes against the entire motif she has is her helmet which is extremely embellished and covered in decorations like the wings on the side or the engravings on the top which might’ve been a gift from Miquella but that’s just a theory a GAME- *Get’s shot*.

Moving on from her design we have the aspect she’s probably most known for after being notoriously hard.

The Goddamned Scarlet Rot.

Which right off the bat I think is a misnomer, or at the very least isn’t telling us the full story.

I say this because in the real world Rot is something that is vital to life on earth as we know it, it decay’s the deceased matter from animals, plants and other things like them, allowing the nutrients to be returned to the earth after the decomposition is finished. In a lot of way’s the Scarlet Rot follows this process except on an EXTREMELY accelerated pace with some mutagenic properties tossed in, what i’m saying is The Goddess Of Rot that’s sealed away might not be a goddess of Death but a goddess of Rebirth, but aside from some theorizing with some at best shaky evidence it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting anything solid on that front until the DLC sadly.

I only really have two headcanons for her

the first headcanon is Malenia is definitely touch starved for prolonged physical contact, she "Desperately" craves another person's touch, even if it's just shaking someone's hand or being hugged, but unless they hold one of Miquella's needles or a ludicrous amount of bouleses it is forever a sensation reserved for her dreams.

The Second headcannon is that she's the worse person to choose in all of the lands between (Yes i'm including The Loathsome Dung Eater) when it comes to any form of diplomacy, not because she'd much rather fight but because she turns as stiff as a board when talking to any human being outside of Miquella, Loretta, and her cleanrot knights which she considers apart of her extended family.