#i just want to be skinny

[support]

Everything okay?

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you are not alone.  

If you are in the United States, please try:

National Eating Disorders Association (support, resources, treatment options)

If you are outside the United States, visit IASP to find help lines related to eating disorders for your country. 

For self-help courses on body image and general peer support, please try Koko. 

For more resources, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help.

[girldigitaldiary]

Strawberry girl ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

[anaisthatgirl]

The feeling of starving is ✨euphoric✨

[skinnygirljournal]

Doing better finally lol

My max was 800c and I had 675c. I dont count what I burned, so now all i gotta do is focus on maintaining this for a bit. Then I can let September be what August should've been

[digitalfairies]

ok time to get skinny

[jinnies-lamps]

i really hate my body, i just want to be skinny and perfect… i want a body that works normally

[disorderedlovelyfox]

I’m finally back on track losing weight and slowly dropping cals some. Issue is, my now fiancé(yeah that happened a week and a half ago) is moving in with me officially on Friday and wants us to celebrate with stuffed crust pizza(personal ones cause I want garlic stuffed and he wants pepperonis) and then KFC on Saturday. But he’s going to set up my path treadmill for me so maybe I can walk while we watch anime!

[sugar-free-grape-lemonade]

arguably, the only good thing about being on my period is that as long as I'm eating enough fiber and drinking enough water, imma shit.

It's so very nice I don't even have to use my senna laxative tea that makes me cramp so bad

[dumbndepressed]

My stomach is growling and i dont even feel hungry 😊

[dropout-charlie]

i see so many people looking for pro-ana discord servers or group chats on here, so this is the opposite of that:

it‘s an ed recovery discord server and we‘d love to welcome you there, even if you‘re not yet ready to go all in - every little step is great! besides, you can totally leave again if you don‘t like it, but please give it a try!

(and yes, you are sick enough and yes, you deserve recovery)

reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

[kcals-in-the-neg]

because my limit is more today, i was going to allow myself to eat more but i we!ghed today and i have gained??? idk what i did wrong bc i’ve been following the d!et well and exerc!sing too. 😔💔

[girldigitaldiary]

I want to be gorgeous and sexy

[nachtnabelle]

i dont want to be saved, but by god would my fall from grace feel less hopeless with someone reaching out to catch me.

[skinnygirljournal]

Monster and halo top save me

Monster and halo top

Save me monster and halo top

[digitalfairies]

i need to stop with the junk food, i’ve been doing so well, but now i’m tubby i’m losing my mind i’m going on vacation to greece and i’m gonna look like a cow.

[exospherethoughts]

yikes. I don't think I really had a clue how bad I was getting again, until I found myself staring into my own eyes in the mirror tonight immediately after having spent ten minutes twisting and turning to see how prominent my ribs and spine are. Spoiler alert: not prominent enough for my brain's satisfaction.

The night before I left to visit my parents, I had a really really bad night, partially because of, well, it doesn't matter. But part of it was because of photos I found of myself from high school. Body checking photos. And a few candids that I had filed away because they basically doubled as body checks at the time. I remember feeling so so so fat and disgusting in all of those photos, I literally have scars from having carved the word "pig" into my stomach (thank the bloody gods it faded so much that it's only visible to me because I know where to look), I remember having a panic attack in a grocery store aisle during a spare block in high school because the lowest calorie thing I could find was a 60 calorie bouillon cube and that was too much, I remember the euphoria I felt the first time I managed to go 40 hours without any calories, I remember I remember I remember... and yet I was 20-25lbs lighter then than I am now. I would kill to have the body I did back then. Sure, I found myself in the nurse's office needing to lie down pretty often because I kept getting dizzy spells and I spent more time counting calories, tracking my weight, and doing ridiculous stupid quiet exercises in the middle of the night than I did doing things I love. But at least my hip bones and ribs and spine stuck out and I felt like sometimes I had a tiny bit of control over at least one thing!

I mean, I spent the majority of March and April barely eating, not as bad as when I was younger, but still nowhere near what would be considered "normal" (but that was partially because I was adjusting to the initial appetite loss from the Vyvanse, which has since disappeared). But I think it's somehow worse now, despite the fact that I'm eating a fairly normal amount every day (glass of milk in the morning, my usual green smoothie for breakfast, and whatever my parents make for dinner). I think my mind is getting stuck in the rabbit holes of obsessing over my weight and bones again, and the only reason I haven't completely gone off the rails with starving myself again is because I'm so tired of being physically ill and weak and I have enough shit to deal with just from chronic illnesses, I don't need to make it any harder for myself.

But that doesn't stop my brain from pinching and poking at all my fat rolls, it doesn't stop me from skipping seconds, it doesn't stop me from going on runs or taking the stairs instead of the elevator or walking the long way around to get to places, it doesn't stop me from feeling trapped in this awful flesh prison I'm in.