#i just want to [redacted] and idk what to do about anything
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millionsknives · 1 year ago
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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piplupod · 4 months ago
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#i just wish someone would look at me and Know that im not doing well fjfkdl#struggling so hard to stop myself from taking self destructive action against myself bc boy howdy i just want to fuck myself up#and then maybe someone would look at me and go ''hey u dont look like ur doing so well - do u need anything?''#but thats never worked in the past and theres that whole thing of ''if u want help u need to ask for it''#unfortunately. asking doesnt seem to work very often. i seem to have to Show people somehow that im not okay. like prove it to them#both medical ppl and my family fjfkdl#so here i am again trying to stop myself from [redacted] bc I shouldnt have to prove to anyone that im not okay#honest to god idk who to even talk to about anything. like the workers at the centre are not counselors/therapists#and i dont have another counseling appt for three ish weeks so uhhh#but im kind of like... i need smth idk. i feel like im on the verge of some kind of really bad breakdown#i cannot keep going on the way i currently am - that much is clear.#but idk what can change really. other than getting the girl to give me space fjfkdl#but the bugs and the abuse and the exhaustion and the food will all continue to exist just the same#nothing can be done about any of that! RIP!#i think honestly i just want a good long hug fjdkdl im just so scared and tired fjfkdl and tired of being scared tbqh#oh well !!! i cannot want for what i cannot have! wants don't exist unless i can fulfill it myself easily! otherwise theyre not allowed!!!#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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euclydya · 6 months ago
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thinking about [ ] and hoq apparently there's literally a tw for shipping [thing] i think that's really funny or this one artist we found is just downright hilarious
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supercantaloupe · 1 year ago
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i had my zoom meeting with maestro and the assistant conductor today to talk about the manager job and it all sounds okay to me (i'll feel more comfortable about the whole arrangement once i can come in and shadow the last two rehearsals this semester and get a feel for the job in person) but it's a little funny how frequently maestro kept assuring me that. well if it sounds like too much work or just not something i am capable of or even want to do it's okay no pressure he'll be fine without me it's totally up to me don't sign on if you aren't absolutely one hundred percent okay with it and even if it's too much let me know because we can adjust the duties and help you out it's okay. and also him being like the pay isn't that good i'm going to try to ask for more money to pay you and the assistant conductor and maybe partially fund you if you go on tour with us next summer but it really should be more pay than this i'm sorry anyway here's like seven other ways you can make a little extra cash through related jobs like arranging extra parts for the orchestra and subbing on english horn as needed and maybe i can find some money for you to write program notes also have you considered teaching at the local music school it's a good way to get your foot in the door and make a little extra on the side sorry it's not much i hope it's okay for you
#and the whole time i'm sitting there like Okay 👍 Thamks#i wanna talk about me#it's very endearing how much he seems to care about me. both my comfort with the responsibilities and the pay haha#he was even like You know maybe if you wanted to take conducting lessons.#(with the lowkey implication of 'you could be assistant conductor in a couple of years too and then i could pay you more LOL)#(and he kind of complained about how the hall and the organization have an assload of cash at their disposal they're just stingy with it ha)#i'm not in it for the money rn really. i mean obviously it would be nice haha#but i'm getting by okay rn with my fellowship and gigs#(and the fellowship means i'm hardly paying anything out of pocket for grad school which is certainly a huge help here haha)#i'm not doing it For The Exposure cause like. idk that sounds trite and also exposure to What. i've known maestro for eight years...#but it IS really good experience for me. a job handed to me by someone who knows and trusts in my work#in my target field of work. with a highly regarded youth orchestra at an amazing concert hall.#i'd be such a shithead to pass that opportunity up!!#it's not about only making a thousand bucks per concert cycle or whatever it's about the experience#and getting to put [redacted] concert hall on my cv. invaluable!!#anyway nervous but cautiously optimistic about next week i'm shadowing the last rehearsal before their december concert#i'll feel much better about the whole job and everything involved once i can experience it in person#i'm a 'learn by doing' kinda guy anyway
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saturnsuv · 2 years ago
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update <3
#in case anyone remembers the saga about the guy i’d been talking to for like a week then made out with then he promptly ghosted me despite#having given one of those ‘even if it doesnt work out i still want to be friends’ claims and all my additional choosing insanity over it#well. finally got one of my friends to go to the restaurant he works at with me#also keep in mind that that stuff happened in like november we literally havent spoken in months i am just choosing to continue being#insane bc i think i deserve to#anyway. so my friend and i go to the restaurant and unfortunately he isnt there#but before we leave i ask the waitress hey um do you happen to have a coworker named [redacted]#and she was like oh yeah is he a friend of yours? :) and my friend says no. and i say …. i know him#waitress can tell that i dont mean i know him in a good way too. she laughs and says it seems like theres a story here but she doesnt ask#anything further. instead she proceeds to tell me his fucking work schedule ajdjsjjfkf#she was like yeah he worked this morning he usually works thursday mornings then all weekend :)#so shes my new hero#idk if this guy has also gotten himself on bad terms with her or if she just knows what hes like or if she just understood the implication#of an irritated girl coming in asking after a guy bc she ‘knows him’#but she rly understood the assignment. anyway im in love with her now <3#OMG i almost forgot the best part. after telling me this she asks do you want me to give him a message and i saw yes i sure would. tell him#sam said hi :)#anyway i will be dragging my friend back there with me at the end of the month on a weekend to continue antagonizing this specific asshole#sam speaks
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robertsbarbie · 1 year ago
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i understand venting without wanting solutions but sometimes there NEEDS to be solutions and you NEED to accept help otherwise you life is always gonna be fucking miserable
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wannaremember · 2 years ago
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years ago
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Just remembered I applied to an electrical engineering course last night slightly as a joke but mostly seriously and now I may or may not get contacted by these people 😵‍💫
#i had one of those moments that i have from time to time where basically i remembered my job contract ends in september and i panicked#and my friend was like ‘you should learn a trade!’ so then i was running through each one and doing a process of elimination to decide which#to do. i was like ‘okay so plumbing is kind of gross; i’m too clumsy for joinery or construction… electricity scares me but i feel like if i#actually LEARNED about the processes of being an electrician it wouldn’t scare me’#so then i literally searched ‘electrician course’ and applied for one at the nearest college#idk if i should actually do it. i mean on the one hand it could be really good and work well; but on the other…… like i really doubt they#have any type of support for mature students so i’d be paying for this course out of pocket#and idk how much it costs. like. do i want to spend literally all the wages i make barista-ing on learning to become an electrician#and what happens if i hate it??#also i’m like 99% certain everyone else on the course is going to be insufferable teenage boys and do i want to be an unpaid TA#for an unspecified amount of time#maybe i should see if i can just do an online course to get the theory & then do an apprenticeship from there. would anyone even hire me#as an apprentice though??? would that whole process be awful. apprentice wages are legit terrible#it’s just one of various ideas though#plan A is to convince my current job to hire me permanently; either in my current role or an office job#plan B is learn to be an electrician maybe. plan C is fuck off and travel the world. maybe work on a cruise ship idk#or do one of those volunteer conservation projects and see if that leads to anything#plan D is random side gigs e.g. temping/invigilating/audio transcription/etc#plan E is [redacted]#so. yeah#personal
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yuri-is-online · 26 days ago
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Couple's (questionable) Halloween Costumes ft. Tokyo Debunker
I just got back from an event and had some thoughts idk. This is not in any particular order, just whoever came to mind first.
Towa- Bee and Beekeeper. His chibi is already a bee, he'd probably find it cute to see you dressed up like one too. Haru is the one who suggests his jumpsuit already looks a bit like a beekeeper suit, all he'd need to do is get a hat. Towa loves romance, so he'd probably be one of the only ghouls actually interested in dressing up with you 10/10.
Sho- Mario and Princess Peach, except he's the princess because he made the mistake of telling you that Leo always makes him be the girl. You really want to play this game, senpai? Fine. He'll hate every second of it but it is just the littlest bit worth it to see you squirm at how good he looks in a dress. Somewhat. He'd rather make you squirm someway else ???/10
Luca- Jedidiah and Octavius (from night at the museum). He sort of ruins it because he doesn't understand the reference and spends the night talking at length about Roman history. Which is nice if you are into that but extremely boring if not 6/10.
Kaito- Ketchup and Mustard. He also sort of ruins it; doing something this classically coupley with you makes him delirious with happiness and he has a stroke before you can make your way to the party. Salvages the night by baking Halloween themed cupcakes, you have a nice little date decorating them and no one has to see you two embarrass yourselves in public 7/10.
Haru- Cow and the Moon. He... does not have the best fashion sense if his cards are anything to go by, and hey this cow costume he got for (insert total rip off price here) will totally help him promote the back to nature tour! You dressing up as the moon was supposed to be a cute gimmick thing to play off the old nursery rhyme, he wasn't expecting you to put together such an ethereal outfit. Completely forgets about promoting the tour in favor of being cute with you all night, he's totally willing to do this again 9/10 (don't let him choose the costumes next time).
Rui- Moth and Lamp. He wants to do Gomez and Morticia, but the torture of not being able to touch you is already too much to bear as is, he isn't about to make it worse for himself. This way he can still be free to tend bar and make a bunch of cheesy "jokes" about you being the light of his life. Moths sort of fit the Obscuary theme anyway so it's a perfect costume, 10/10.
Haku- Howl and Sofie. He wants a costume that will give him an excuse to flirt with you and will make it very very clear just who you are leaving this party with. Haku probably thinks he'd look really good in Howl's outfit and you know what? He's right. Just remember to take him seriously when he offers his help removing your clothes this time, inspector 10/10.
Taiga- Ghostface. For exactly the reasons you think kitten don't even bother picking out a costume [redacted]/10.
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14dayswithyou · 6 months ago
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Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!
So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol
If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^
ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol
-does he know how to give massages? :00
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?
(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao
ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)
✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3
Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!
-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!
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mosaickiwi · 5 months ago
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Leaping In
Goofy mushy thing since it’s been almost a year of writing... them✨ I’m normal! 💥🎉 (sai’s froggydacted fic part 2 teehee)
Gender neutral reader!! <- idk when i stopped saying this but it applies to everything i write fjdsakljfsla
14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
Careful of their contents, you tore away packing tape on box after box of assorted items, then scribbled a description of the items on each one. It'd taken a while, but you finally got around to moving in with your long term partner. 
In your excitement to take that next step, the thought of actually labeling anything had slipped your mind during the few days off you scrambled to pack with their much needed help. So while [REDACTED] brought more and more boxes into his living room—suspiciously turning you into a prisoner from the way he piled them all around you like walls of a fort—you had to figure out what everything was to make sure nothing was forgotten from your crummy apartment. Before your landlord broke in to play finders keepers.
It was on what must’ve been the fourteenth trip back from the moving truck that he paused to watch you, setting down another few boxes to reinforce the barricade you'd just dismantled. 
“That one's all your Attack on Giants merch,” he said, arms crossed and fingers drumming atop the highest peak of the cardboard castle.
You stopped halfway through opening said box in your lap, then pried it open anyway. Sure enough, it was full of manga volumes, some figurines still in display packaging, and a few Haruko plushies. One in particular that they'd bought you on that first awkward date at the pier. The poor thing was a little frayed and flat from how often you slept with it held tightly to your chest.
Uncapping the marker in your hand, you wrote ‘AoG’ on a spot where the tape wasn't too damaged. You pushed the box to the side to grab another. But he spoke again. 
“Blankets,” they said about the large, flat box in front of your outstretched hand. “Dishes,” to a small one you stood up to grab from a further pile in your prison.
“Ren,” you huffed and looked up at him accusingly. “Do you already know exactly what's in all of these, then?”
“...F’the most part, yeah.” He smiled and pointedly tapped on the box under his arms. “This one's some of your other plushies. You didn’t leave anything.”
“And you didn't stop me earlier because…?”
They shrugged, as if the answer was obvious. “Easier t’keep you in one place.”
So he was trying to trap you. 
Without a word you walked over to label the box, the marker squeaking loudly against the tape next to his hand. You grabbed their arm once you finished—since they clearly weren't planning to leave—and gave him a label of ��my spouse’ on the back of his hand, along with a few hearts around it.
His eyes glittered with more excitement than usual. You might've done a little too much. “Shit, don't tattoo that,” you quickly muttered. From the way he looked to the side with a pout, you could tell he seriously considered the idea. “Wash it off later, okay? I’ll give you something else.”
The hacker immediately smiled brighter as you carefully leaned over the tower of boxes to give him a better gift. 
💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤
[REDACTED] went back to unloading the truck, begrudgingly making an entrance to the cardboard fort before he left. You started unpacking your clothes first since he’d pointed them all out to you. As you finished arranging them in the closet and drawers of your room, you found a few things out of place at the bottom of those boxes. 
Some of the hats, beanies, and scarves that you'd ‘robbed’ him of. And of course he let you keep whatever you wanted, so eventually a handful ended up in your everyday wardrobe in autumn and winter while others went unused.
But they didn't need to stay with you anymore. You could take them again whenever you wanted now. Along with everything that was his, he was yours. 
You gathered them all into one of the smaller boxes and hurried off to his room. The prison in the living room hadn’t gotten much bigger, and your blue eyed boyfriend was nowhere to be seen as you peeked in to check. Probably trying to take the last few boxes in one trip, you supposed. 
The closet door was ajar in their room when you arrived and you slid it open the rest of the way with your foot. Always clean and neat, not a thing was out of place about his signature black—with hints of gray or dark blue, when they felt like it—clothing.
Save for the soft, knitted green froggy hat that caught your eye on one of the shelves. You set your box next to it and picked it up, toying with the puffed up eyes sewn at the top. 
It found its way into their everyday wardrobe, thanks to your occasional teasing after he went along with your prank. Once in a while he’d wear it, and you never even had to ask. Contrasted with his usual appearance it certainly stood out in a crowd. But it always looked comfortable and cute on him. 
The fabric felt softer than a plushie. You wondered how comfy it really was, seeing how you'd never worn it yourself. But you couldn’t get sidetracked. Reluctantly, you put the silly hat back and got to work.
Only a few items had been put in their rightful places when the prized possession caught your eye again barely a minute later. It looked so sad on the shelf all alone, the little sewn-on smile tugged at your heartstrings. You had to wear it. There was enough unpacking done already. You could stand to use a break, even for a second.
You hurried to grab it, humming to yourself as you lifted it into the air.
“Angel,” the hat’s real owner suddenly called. Their gentle, raspy voice sounded closer than you expected. You looked up to find your ever so silent stalker of a boyfriend watching you from the doorway with an amused gaze. Your eyes went wide and you froze, the froggy hat held high in your grasp as if you were crowning royalty. “Robbin’ me again, love?”
Your face felt warm. “...Um, no,” you lied unconvincingly, too embarrassed to sound calm. “I'm actually returning things.”
“Hm. ‘Think this one suits y’better than me, though.” [REDACTED] stepped closer to pluck the hat from your hands. The soft, knitted fabric slid over your head, then he gently adjusted the ear flaps. “Cute.”
Before he could make another comment, you scrambled to offer a different topic. “Did you finish unloading? You could help me with unpacking in the kitchen.”
“Yeah, give me a minute.” His cool fingers moved to frame your face and lightly squish your heated cheeks. Pale blue eyes sparkled less with mischief, more focused now as they slowly looked you over in silence. He was probably tucking the sight away in his mind to tease you about later. “I'm real happy you moved in,” he said quietly.
Oh. You didn't expect that. “Me too.”
He smiled at your agreement and kissed your forehead, then leaned down. “Really happy,” he repeated between soft pecks to your lips.
Those few innocent kisses soon turned to longer and longer ones that left you wanting. Eventually you had to pull a few inches away with a hand placed to their chest. Tempting as it was to get distracted, there was a lot left to do.
He seemed to read your mind, cheeks tinged pink as he wrapped his hand over yours to keep you close. The doodled label you'd given them earlier was still proudly displayed on their skin. “So… kitchen?”
You nodded. And then got embarrassed all over again when he readjusted the hat that slipped to obscure your vision with fuzzy green fabric in the process.
“Maybe I should leave this here for now,” you said as you yanked it off. The hat plopped awkwardly in the box still full with the rest of his stuff and stared back at you. “I’ll put it away later, I swear. I’m not stealing it.”
Your partner said nothing, thankfully. Only smiled and led you out of the room by your entwined hands. You were careful not to smudge the inked letters on the back of their palm.
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audioroleplayconfessions · 9 days ago
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i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).
i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.
i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).
whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.
ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)
i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.
anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.
(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )
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ooctlt · 7 months ago
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I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.
An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.
yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:
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link to full-res image
a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her
transcript under the readmore:
DEAD END QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?
"Please stop talking to me."
This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.
NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character
gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT
DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?
"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."
This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.
It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out" could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw all the places they visit
ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?
me: "i have to do so much research"
NEAT QUESTION CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?
"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."
This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be LONGER.
Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:
ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?
and this can then spiral onward…
*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.
Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.
BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.
FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.
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abdy-18 · 4 months ago
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I thought about the parallels between Loid and Anya and it just occurred to me the possibility that, like Anya, [REDACTED] wasn't the best in school, which is why his father looks a bit surprised when he tells him he needs money for books, similar to when Loid is surprised to see Anya studying on her own.
I overthought this and now it's my first long post, sorry jkfhs.
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Only, unlike Loid who tries to be empathetic with Anya and values her effort, his father used to be violent every time he didn't get a good grade on an exam.
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His mother's reaction after he hits him is to say that “why do you always have to be like this?”, this situation must have been repeated several times and for several reasons, not just for playing war with his friends.
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And that's probably why he didn't want Nightfall to be Anya's mother, because, being honest, WISE let Twilight rent a ridiculously expensive castle and made all the agents that were in Ostania drop the missions they were doing just because he asked for it, and he didn't even have to explain what he needed those resources for, considering that, I'm 100% sure that if Twilight had wanted Nightfall to be his wife in the operation Strix, he just had to ask for it and Handler would have given the mission Nightfall had at that moment to another agent so she would be available, but he didn't do it since he knows her, and knows that the teaching method Nightfall proposes is not going to work, because his father treated him like that in his childhood and knows how that feels (Twilight wants a world where children don't cry).
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My hc is that [REDACTED] was that kind of kid who is very smart but didn't pay enough attention to school because he was sure he would become a soldier with his friends, or the stress of making his father angry had the opposite effect on his grades, making it difficult for him to concentrate, so he did not reach his full potential.
And it's sad because Twilight is so smart that he's on the level of someone like Yuri (or smarter), who unlike Twilight, was able to graduate from school and college with honors.
In one week, Twilight was able to read all the books necessary to pass himself off as a respected psychiatrist, he can hold conversations with his colleagues without anyone suspecting anything, and everyone at the hospital considers him a good doctor. Imagine what that man would be like if he had really finished school or gone to some university.
Unless on some mission Twilight had to pretend to be a university student, he hasn't been in a classroom since the war started, until joining WISE he must have had the academic education of a 6/8 year old, I feel like it would also fit this part.
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Even with his limitations he was able to teach himself with books the knowledge necessary for his false identities, I assume that he taught himself since when the op Strix began we see him go to the library to obtain books about parenthood since his character "Loid Forger" is a loving father, so I assume he must have been like that with all his other characters since he was a rookie, although there is also the possibility that during training he obtained some type of academic education idk
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As for Yor, I think she stopped going to school until a few years after being Thron Princess, she managed to resume her studies, but quite behind, so she ends up being a few grades behind Yuri and that's why he has to help her with the academic load.
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I think that unlike Twilight she did manage to graduate from school because I don't think she could have gotten a job at the city hall without studies 😅.
Or I don't know, I think I'm overthinking this too much, I think I should go to sleep now 😅, also english is not my first languaje so let me know if i wrote bad something 🤗
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bioethicists · 1 year ago
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responding to this with my shitty redaction because i'm not comfortable posting obvious bait with people's names in them (particularly dead names) but i just wanted to point out the ways in which this ask is prototypical bait written to purposefully generate drama or controversy (idk if this is in a kiwifarms trolling with right wing motives sense or an 'i love drama' person) by trying to appeal to online leftist culture/the fear of being 'problematic'. i see ppl fall for this constantly + i need people to start learning to recognize the signs instead of either engaging or using this as evidence that leftists are stupid/petty/hypocritical (which many of us are, but in much less amusing ways, unfortunately)
the implication that there is a single founder of the "neurodiversity movement" + that evoking this movement at all (which i don't do + i think it's actually pretty evident that my politics are distinct from the much more bioessentialist politics of those who prefer that term, which is part of what led me to conclude that this is a copypasta) is supporting the founder. tracing a broad social concept to a single individual, then disparaging that individual as morally unsound (by evoking other explosive, petty pieces of discourse, like baeddalism + transandrophobia) in order to provoke doubt, fear or anger. demonstrates a hope that leftists will flinch away from anything associated with anyone 'problematic' without applying any critical thinking.
misrepresenting complex events (or fabricating them entirely- idk if these things happened + i simply couldn't care enough to find out) in a way that hits the pressure points of performative activism (she's being mean to an autistic person! other people of color agree with me! this other person is anti physically disabled people!) while also betraying reactionary opinions through language use/implications (claiming to care about 'transandrophobia' yet deadnaming someone? claiming to care about specific events at specific autism conferences but using terms like "severely autistic"? saying you have spoken to "Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, American Indians" lmao did you type this out based on census checkboxes from the 70s?). the author of this ask is clearly not a member of the activist communities they claim to be from because they accidentally slip into the speech conventions + opinions of a kiwifarms/4chan loser who does a lot of hatereading. this one did a good job of hitting the bingo card of divisive intracommunity issues rn- great research skills, bud! put them to better use <3
reframing reactionary beliefs using leftist concepts. this works because many of us do not have a foundational politic outside of "well, i want to be good, so I'm going to support the things that other people i trust say are good". which doesn't make you bad (there is no good or bad! learn this now + quick, if you really want to play a part in building a better world) but it makes you easy to manipulate + unlikely to be capable of meaningful change. notice that the claims this ask is asserting are, at their core, "people make up microaggressions to cause problems when really they could easily suck it up" + "people fake disabilities and being trans for attention". these are reactionary concerns, no matter how artfully they are dressed in social justice language. kiwifarms in particular was very, very good at this- they loved finding the people they stalked to be racist, homophobic, ableist, etc, not because they thought those things were wrong (it was their hobby to be these things!) but because they delighted in identifying hypocrisy, stirring up drama, + destroying people's reputations.
this is hard to explain bcuz i blacked out the names, but if you have a passing familiarity with fascist/reactionary online spaces, particularly the history of kiwifarms, you will know that reactionaries have their own 'pet leftists', just like we have our 'pet fascists' (shapiro, alex jones, tucker carlson, etc). that is, ppl they obsessively follow, harass, + scrutinize + come to believe are representative of everything that we believe. these ppl are rarely ppl who are actually prominent in our online spaces but online reactionaries often believe we are just as obsessed with these people as they are, but as unquestioned paragons of virtue + brilliance. namedropping these ppl is often an accidental tip of the hat, particularly when the ppl aren't on tumblr, haven't been a topic of community discussion for quite some time, or run in a different circle than us (reactionaries don't understand that there are actually thousands of leftist social groups which have very little overlap with some others- pronouns in bio does not mean someone knows or cares about contrapoints, for instance)
tl;dr this ask is a fantastic example of the rhetorical features bait that someone might actually take seriously.
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messenger-of-stupidity · 3 months ago
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So I went hiking yesterday and climbed on some old lime factory ruins and saw some graffiti. (Lots of it actually.)
So here's what I think the redacted characters would graffiti (if anything):
David: No. He wouldn't graffiti. Man prolly believes in the sanctity of nature and leaving things either as or better than he found it
Angel: Cock and balls.
Asher: Jigglypuff. He wants everyone to behold the splendor.
Baabe: honestly, despite the fact I hc them as an art nerd, I don't think they would graffiti. Maybe with chalk so that way it's temporary. But idk what they would say.
Milo: either "Milo was here" or "Shut up Asher"
Sweetheart: doesn't matter. It's a mess. Because "Art is abstract, Milo. Besides, it kind of looks like that time Aggro spooked you and you shifted and made a mess in our old apartment"
Sam: he wouldn't. He's on the same wavelength as David.
Darlin: some kind of inside joke so that way everyone in the pack (and clan) knows they were there.
Vincent: a purposefully cheesy inspirational quote in the shittiest lettering you've ever seen.
Lovely: a smiley face because they just want their life to calm down so they can enjoy immortality with their stupid boyfriend.
Porter: he wouldn't, but not because he cares about sanctity or whatever. He just doesn't see the point.
Treasure: nah. They don't see the point either. They also don't have a marker or spray paint or anything with them. Porter just kinda zipped them into the middle of fucking nowhere all of the sudden. Somehow they lost a shoe on the way.
Elliot: yes. Boy is making a whole landscape because it's in his DNA and his inner Bob Ross is screaming at him that there's no mistakes, only happy little accidents
Sunshine: they put a sun and a little river for Brachium since he can't deface property with them :(
Blake: he's bringing a powerwasher to destroy all the graffiti
Bestie: they weren't aware it was an option because Blake is sheltering them from the existence of graffiti to keep them pure.
Aaron: no. He doesn't have the time
Smartass: they're busy too.
Ollie: no. He'd rather be inside playing board games
Baby: no, they're inside watching Ollie explain a board game for three hours
Ivan: yeah. Idk what, but he is
(I'm not doing Ivan's listeners)
Guy: it's just memes. There pepe the frog. There's rainbows and telling people that "they're putting chemicals in the water to turn all the frogs gay"
Honey: they put Guy's phone number so he gets spammed because his graffiti tastes are as good as his humor. Make of that what you will.
Geordi: no. He's too anxious about getting in trouble to even think about it.
Cutie: yes. They're putting passing people's thoughts on the wall.
Camelopardalis: no.
(He has too many listeners and I isn't remember them and they dint have enough personality for me to be able to tell)
Vega: no. It's too human.
Warden: once. They felt bad and tried to get rid of it afterwards. It was just a stick figure with horns.
Hush: yes. He saw it once and wanted to try it. Now he's wanted in twelve states for defacing government property. He just copies what he's seen.
Doc: nope. They never understood the draw.
Damien: nope. He's a rule follower
Lasko: no. He's too anxious
Dear: yes. But it's just dad jokes.
Huxley: once. He felt bad about it but it was certainly an experience. It was a tree and a stick dude.
Gavin: absolutely. It's hilarious. It ranges from just crude jokes to just random circles. No one knows the meeting, but it's becoming like a mini legend in Dahlia. If you find the holy circle (because it's a perfect circle. He has good wrist control) you have to leave an offering. He's making a cult by accident but he still finds it funny
Freelancer: yes, but only because Caelum saw Gavin doing it and thought it looked like fun and he wanted Freelancer's help.
Caelum: he drew a bunch of shaky smiley faces to "brighten peoples day. Because when they see all these smiles, they'll want to smile too, and that will make them feel good. Which makes me feel good. Which helps me make others feel good. Which makes me feel goo-"
Morgan: no.
Seer obscura: no. But they were tempted to give vague warnings to people to try to help them
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