#i just screenshot the funny ones/the ones that were close to correct

[seagull9111]

i was playing akinator and as one does i did a bunch of percy jackson characters

Nico di Angelo:

they used the old official art 😭

Will Solace:

the pain i went through saying no on this:

THEY USED THE NEW ART LETS GOOOOO

Rachel Elizabeth Dare:

Alex Fierro:

Leo Valdez:

YES HE IS!

the old art strikes again 😭

[lady-of-ocs]

*crying because I finished the show*

So hey. Here I am. Watched the last episode of the series last night. I always get really sad when I finish a show that I've put a lot of time into. Which, you know, obviously I've done that for Haikyuu and I'm attached to the characters, blah blah blah.

Planning on rewatching dumpster battle tomorrow so long as I have time! Then I'll post about that as well. I'd like to start drawing next week (I'm going home for my mom's birthday this weekend so starting now is a no go). I'm excited because I have significantly more context and also have put significantly more time into the characters this time around.

SO ANYWAY. MY LAST EPISODE BREAKDOWNS AND REACTIONS! ENJOY!

Did y'all see when Kageyama and Tsukishima apologized to each other because they didn't do a successful quick? Because I was like "HOLD UP. YOU TWO NEVER APOLOGIZE TO EACH OTHER. WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CRANKY BOYS???" And the rest of the team looked all surprised too. But that, my dears, is called ✨growth✨

Honestly, though, they messed up and I went "OH NOT THIS AGAIN. SYNC BACK UP RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT"

Look at my glare-y boys <3 "You good?" "You really need to ask?" GROWTH BABY. GROWTH

And they got the point back immediately after, so I was very happy!

ASAHI WITH HIS ABSOLUTELY KILLER SERVICE ACE. THAT'S MY MAN RIGHT THERE. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I'M SO PROUD OF HIM. And the rest of the team getting so fucking excited over his serve, too. I love this team WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T GET TO SEE THEM ANYMORE (jk I'm absolutely going to rewatch). P.S. clearly them calling him Azumane Asahi last episode was a fluke because they said it the English way around in this one. Confusion cured!

I'll probably say it a few times, but that Miya twins scare me a little. Oh and Kita is absolutely WICKED at receives.

I took this screenshot because I just like looking at him tbh.

See, I knew that there was a moment where the twins were going to fuck up their quick, but I didn't know when that moment was, so when they were setting up for their quick I was over here like NO, NO TWIN QUICK YOU PUT THAT SHIT AWAY THAT WAS THE ONE THEY FUCK UP AND KITA HAS TO SAVE THEIR ASSES HAHAHAHAHAAHA I cackled like an evil witch fr fr

The correct reaction to Kita saving your ass

DAICHI HITTING THE BALL SO HARD THAT NOT EVEN KITA'S RECEIVE COULD STOP IT GOD BLESS AMEN

We also love to see the moment where the ball tries to come back over the net but Tsukki full just slaps it down and scores us another point.

I was so excited and then immediately went back to “awww” because that guy whose name I don’t know (he’s the bitch who called Tanaka a cheap copy of Bokuto though) slapped it back over and now we’re tied again

Okay so the twins aren’t dumb enough to try the unstable version (Osamu setting to Atsumu) again. Good to know. HERE COMES ARAN COME ON BLOCKERS DO YOUR THING And my reaction immediately following that was: Fuck

“I need some carbs right about now” RIP Tsukki. You can do it, buddy. I hope he got his carbs after the game was over

Tsukki and Hinata being the worst servers on the team is. Hinata I get but Tsukki it’s just funny

Eh. Close enough. Welcome back hand holding

Not sure if it's canonically like this but it seems to me like Aran's got the best serve other than Atsumu? Maybe I just forgot a really great server (and they all have pretty decent serves, to be fair), but Aran came up to serve and I was like "oh shit here we go again."

Even though I knew Karasuno was going to win, seeing Inarizaki at match point made me really nervous. I was like "what if I just hallucinated that and they actually lose?" before confirming with myself that there's literally a movie about their next match, IT'S FINE.

I loved how it kept cutting back to all of the other teams who were sitting there watching. Nekoma obviously, but I loved seeing Shiratorizawa, Date Tech, and Seijoh as well. LOOK HOW INTO THIS YAHABA IS LIKE CALM DOWN BABYGIRL

And we got to see what Tanaka asked Kageyama for! I had a feeling it was something like that (asking not to send the ball to him for a bit), but i have to say, I didn't expect Kageyama's answer of "no"! BUT THEN HE SAID THEY'D NEED TANAKA'S ATTACKS AND I WAS LIKE YOU FUCKING SWEETIE AND THEN TANAKA'S BADASS LINE SHOT LET'S GOOOOOOOO

AND SAEKO GETTING ALL TEARY-EYED AND EMOTIONAL OVER HER BROTHER I LOVE THE TANAKAS

OH BY THE WAY- FUCKING ATSUMU AND HIS CRAZY SETS I’M GOING TO STEP ON HIM AND NOT IN A SEXY WAY

My genuine reaction: OIKAWA!!!!!! HI BOO! HOW YA BEEN? WHY SO ANGY??? And there he goes, off on a run. Bye love <3

We also went back to muttering "MURDER, TOBIO! MURDER!!!!!" every time Kageyama served.

Okay, we gotta talk about Kita for a sec. I loved Kita’s monologue. He just has this outlook on life that’s so beautiful and different from other people. He recognizes that some people are naturally talented but also believes it doesn’t make them any better than people who work hard for their skills. But he also admitted that there were some volleyball monsters on the court when one of the two (I don't remember which one tbh) behind him said so. And also just: “Look at me, I’m a human with an invitation to go to the monster’s ball! I’m a lucky guy!” KITA THAT’S THE MOST ODDLY ADORABLE THING I’VE EVER HEARD

AND LOOK HOW DELIGHTED HIS EXPRESSION IS. KITA I LIKE YOU LOTS

Oh here he goes again FUCK OFF ATSUMU

I WILL KICK THIS MAN. I WILL KICK HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE. FUUUUUCK YOU MIYA ATSUMU

I will absolutely never get enough of Kagehina's quick attack. They're just so fun to watch.

Tanaka and Nishinoya are so supportive I LOVE THESE GUYS

HEY ATSUMU CAN YOU STOP SMIRKING LIKE THE GRINCH ON MY SCREEN THANKS

The twins are fighting again and it gives me life. Thank you Osamu for insulting Atsumu ❤️

Kageyama has such an ego but he’s kind of earned it? Anyway him being like “nice kill” while looking at Hinata with that air of superiority is just a hilarious image

RISE OF HINATA SHOYO KING OF RECEIVING LET’S FUCKING GO BABY BOY

“I thought I already knew this, but wow. He is an incredible blocker.” HINATA THINKING THAT ABOUT TSUKKI I SAID AWWWWW OUT LOUD

Also Tsukishima literally PRAYING for them to get the next point I LAUGHED

WHEN TSUKKI JUMPED UP TO HELP DAICHI BLOCK I WAS SO PUMPED. I WAS OUT HERE WHISPER-SCREAMING TSUKKIIIIIIII WHILE SLAPPING MY CHEST IN EXCITEMENT (because I didn't have two free hands to clap) Oh the way he stumbled into Daichi and Daichi held him up and Tsukki apologized I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES (not really but I could)

I don't have anything insightful to say, I was just really happy to see them I LOVE DATE TECH. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE DATE TECH? I DON'T THINK I HAVE

Also I forgot how many points they were at so for a split second I thought that Asahi had won the game and I was about tO SCREAM

I LOVE THIS MAN

Also I don't know if I've mentioned this (yes I do), but the twins scare me. BUT DAMN I SURE DID LOVE THAT MOMENT WHERE OSAMU WAS SUPER HYPED UP AND READY TO CRUSH THE BALL AND THEN ATSUMU FUCKING SET TO SOMEONE ELSE AND OSAMU JUST LOOKED SO ANNOYED AT HIM. BROTHERS DO BE LIKE THAT FR FR (I say this as someone who has a brother)

Me watching this game go on and on like:

LISTEN. I know they’re down here because of the big bad Aran spike but I love every frame they’re in together so SUE ME

I CACKLED WITH DELIGHT. AMAZING JOB TOBIO

Shout out to Asahi, Daichi, and Tanaka who have been playing THE ENTIRE TIME and who play THE ENTIRE TIME at EVERY GAME

TSUKKI USING HIS STATUS AS LITTLE BITCH BRAT AND DOING A SOFT SERVE THAT BARELY GETS OVER THE NET AND FORCES ARAN TO RECEIVE I LOVE THIS SHOW

OH THEY’RE GOING FAST BUT IT’S GOING TO TAKE IT OUT OF THEM BUT I KNOW THIS PART. I KNOW WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND I’M NOT READY Hinata received it and put it so high in the air that everyone can take a breath. I’m getting emotional.

I was getting genuinely emotional here. Tears in my eyes. He gave them the chance to breathe. He gave them the chance to take it easy for just a second. He’s the hero of this rally

Suga’s having a flashback of all these small Hinata moments that have led up to this. He sees how much Hinata’s grown just in this year. OH I'm EMOTIONAL

ME TOO SUGA

IT’S NOT JUST A HIGH SCHOOL CLUB ANYMORE FOR HIM I'M JUST AHHHHHH I'M GOING TO FALL OUT OF MY CHAIR AS I TYPE THIS RIGHT NOW I'M SO PROUD OF TSUKKI'S GROWTH.

AND DAICHI COMING IN TO THE SAVE FOR TSUKKI’S SAVE

GOD IT ALL BLURS TOGETHER BECAUSE I HAD TO JUST SIT AND WATCH AND ENJOY BECAUSE FUCKING HELL

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND ROMANTIC THING YOU CAN DO IN A VOLLEYBALL GAME. YOU STOP A QUICK TOGETHER AND YOU WIN THE FUCKING GAME

EVERYONE JUST RUNNING TO CELEBRATE WITH THEIR TEAM ON THE COURT. Fuckkkkkk

The emotional music is not fucking helping actually DO YOU MIND SHOW

Oh my boys. Oh my beautiful, beautiful boys

And I gotta mention the little Tsukkiyama moment going on in the background because the team dogpiled Kagehina but YAMAGUCHI WENT RIGHT FOR TSUKKI AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE HUGGING TSUKKI IN THAT WIDE SHOT WE GET I LOVE THESE FUCKERS

*waving* bye Nekoma! See you later! And by later I mean hopefully tomorrow when I watch your last game as this team on screen NO STOP IT BRAIN-

I wanna know why the guys just left Kageyama and Hinata on the ground. Like. It cut to another shot of them just sitting there but everyone else had cleared out from around them. Help these children off the floor????

Atsumu laying claim to setting for Hinata one day! And behold! Atsuhina was born!

SHIMADA, TAKINOUE AND SAEKO ARE THESE BOYS’ BIGGEST FANS AND THAT’S SO FUCKING SWEET

Honestly, glad that Inarizaki’s crowd isn’t pissed and booing about the team losing. Glad they actually feel like the effort is worth applauding

KITA MAKING ARAN CRY BECAUSE HE SAID HE WISHED HE COULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO BRAG THAT THEY MADE IT ALL THE WAY. KITA STOP HURTING ME

Tanaka sitting there with his shirt off and a dead look in his eyes- guys, I don't think he's doing well. I think he's dead.

Those poor boys are so tired. Kageyama’s sleeping with his eyes open and Tsukki put on a second jacket without realizing

NOYA BEING ADORABLE AND JUST NAPPING LIKE A LITTLE CUTIE. Did he wake up or did someone have to carry him. I hope someone carried him because that's cute as hell

We really got to the halfway mark birds and then immediately cut to Bokuto winning the game. INCREDIBLE WORK OWL MAN

“What team will they be going up against in their next match?” “Nekoma high” me, who’s seen battle of the garbage dump: ehehehehehe

Mika’s hooked on volleyball and is a Karasuno fan. Girlfriend win!

THE WAY HE GOT LIKE THIS WHEN THE SPORTS REPORTER GUY WAS TALKING ABOUT TANAKA BEING THE MAIN ATTACKER OR WHATEVER THE HELL. Y’ALL BETTER PUT SOME RESPECT ON MY BABY’S NAME

Tsukki just not watching is so on brand. And Tadashi defending Tsukki TO THE TV is also on brand. “Tadashi, shut up.” God bless

Suga getting so excited that he’s on TV is so cute actually (me too, Suga - and I say that as someone who's actually been on TV!)

“Hey, it’s Asahi! You look like you’ve killed a man or two in that shot! Man, you look rad!” THANK YOU NISHINOYA FOR BEING SO WHOLESOME AND GENUINELY JUST. He sees Asahi looking scary and thinks it's cool and compliments him. I have no words to describe how happy they make me

“Is that how I look when I concentrate?” “You should see him in math class” DAICHI PLEASE AHAHAHA

Seeing them laugh fuels my will to live

Oh Bokuaka I love you so

I firmly believe Akaashi is wearing Bokuto’s jacket, btw

They’re talking about watching the underclassmen grow as if they’re proud parents

“Can’t let them steal the show.” Awww you sound like grumpy old men <3

ALSO. I KNOW IT TOOK MY FOUR SEASONS TO SAY SO BUT KIYOKO FINALLY GREW ON ME COMPLETELY AND FINE. SHE'S PRETTY. MY GAY ASS FINALLY ADMITS IT.

“I want to play the next one right now” “you are a lunatic” PFFFT TSUKKI He's so real for that, though. Hinata has way too much energy. He's an unstoppable force, I fear

And I proceeded to make dying deer noises because I’m emotional

Kenma SMILED SOMEONE SEDATE ME

GRANDPA UKAI AND YOUNG UKAI AWWWWWWW

...

And there it is. Those were the final three episodes.

I can't even think of anything else to type. It feels like the end of an era or something. I'll be back for you, Haikyuu boys. I promise. Oh and I still have to watch the Nekoma vs. Karasuno game. So there's that. I'll see you all then!

[tommyssupercoolblog]

can I ask what happened w that artist and you? totally fine if you don't want to tell I'm just noisy

They had been bullying a friend of mine and we found out they were stalking that friend's blog because I commented under a post and then got a BUNCH of hate anons with the sentence structure/writing style, and a lot of them with purposefully bad spelling. Showed them to my friend and they were like. "Yeah I think that's them, or could be anyway". After I blocked the Anon through my askbox, a little bit later bunch of anons (again with the same writing style and harping the same points) came through on a BACKUP account but this only happened like two other times before they apparently ran out and it all stopped. And again the spelling appeared to be bad on purpose? Probably to cloak it.

Anyways, we were suspicious about how we got this right after interacting with our friend a bunch, but what confirmed our suspicions was that the artist's account, who I had not blocked yet, was magically marked as blocked after I blocked all the anons. Meaning that when I clicked "block Anon" on one or more of the messages, it hit the account.

The common threads that came up in the anons are: they claimed factives aren't real because the concept is creepy and that we were faking being a system, they called Seán "it" in a very transphobic manner (hey can we maybe not call nonbinary/multigender people "it"? Ffs), called me a retard and made fun of my autism, and told us both to kill ourselves. Yikesies.

They also, ironically, accused me of spelling Seán wrong because his source's name is spelled Sean.... Except it ISN'T spelled Sean. Seán is the correct spelling FOR SOURCE TOO!!! Source has gone on camera multiple times and explained that it's Seán because that's what makes it pronounced Shaun and not See-an or whatever, the á makes a sound in the gaelic language that changes the pronunciation. the main reason people in the JSE fandom spell is Sean without the á is because they don't know how to make the á symbol on their keyboards, so Sean becomes a close approximation.

They also did send Seán a message too, but he only got one compared to my MULTIPLE ones. Unsure why.

We also reported some of the messages, but idk if Tumblr staff did anything.

I only screenshotted one of the messages? But I can show it. I'll put it under the cut for trigger reasons. CW for....awful behavior, but here's the screenshot I DO still have under the cut. It doesn't cover everything that was said but it actually does contain MOST of the points I mentioned because it's long as fuck

Anyways 🩷💖 awful and horrible but at least the bad spelling made it like. Sort of funny? It cushioned the blow, which is silly because it was probably only done so they could get away with being mean to me. But all it did was make me go "wow this is kinda silly"

[confusedgoldenflower]

Did NOT appreciate waking up to this. I was hoping for some memes.

But, welp, here’s what their echochamber’s like and the belittlement of “antis” and purposeful missing of the point.

Note: ought to be clear but I’m not actually addressing any pedoshippers, I’m pointing things out and have a dni on them.

Here’s the post’s screenshots (if someone knows the og link, I’d appreciate a share pls):

First of all, wishing death is wrong. Threats is wrong. Harrassment is wrong. So that last image, not cool, however—and this doesn’t justify—it may represent what that person has gone through whether through pedoshippers actually in the community or people close to them.

And the first three people are fucking correct??? Cute how they choose to focus on the “harrassment” though but still keep the actual points! Funny. Sorta reminds me of a few other things I’ve seen including a fucking thesis.

When I saw it, I thought “oh, boy, what nonsense will they response to this with,” and, well, here’s just SOME…

“uRgH tHeYrE yOuNg AnD sTuCk OnLiNe AnD wEaK.” First of all, very high school of you with the belittlement especially with the pOliTicS schtick; if you don’t understand that everything has been made political at whatever your big age is, then I can’t help you. Especially in THIS year! It’s not a game lawyers play, grow up.

Edit: idk where I saw politics here, maybe I momentarily confused the screencap with another comment I’d seen, I had made it early. But my point stands as it is a point they like to make at times. Going with the pOlItIcs, what are they talking about? Besides noncon/paraphilic cases in the news, there’s nothing spoken about. That’s why if you’re not in-in fandom, you’re gonna be confused about what the fuck all this “discourse” is. Some pedoshippers get outed, yeah, but really just stay “in containment” on some social site. So… it really does beg the question, what exactly do they mean by it: is it a pathetic attempt to belittle “antis” and change topic, or do at least some of these people actually understand they have and are glorifying paraphilias?

If you DO know that fandom is made up of “impressionable youngins” then why don’t you act correctly! “Wah I don’t like kids in MY fandom spaces!” MAKE SEPARATE SPACES AND LABEL PROPERLY, YOU ROTTEN WATERMELON! NOT EVERYONE IS GROWN JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE. Don’t you understand it’s a community!

Last but not least for this, no, we’re minors and adults who were, reportedly, GROOMED by YOU PEOPLE and/or full ass adults—since y’all clearly have some sort of supremacy thing with age—who understand how damaging normalizing, sexualizing, romanticizing, fetishizing, and getting off to abusive content is, like the first comment in the screencap says!

Considering how they act, I feel I especially need to add the “for legal reasons it’s alleged,” but I do believe y’all especially considering the numbers, just what I myself have seen, and that no matter what rapist apologists say, there is NO incentive to come out as a survivor.

“Can’t believe we’re still debating if shipping incest is okay,” so y’all who complain about media literacy just don’t read, huh. It looks like it’s on Twitter or something ergo character limits which means that going into detail like “getting off to this stuff is normalisation and programming yourself to get off to that, literally not meaningful if it’s ‘fiction’ or not.” The commenters were actually pretty good about illustrating the problem as is and only one mentions incest specifically as it’s all par for the course in your “pro” shit, and they even go on to say getting off to/enjoying it is the problem! Actually, it looks like there’s another response from them too, but it’s cropped out.

Belittlement with ageism is gross, you sound like a petulant boomer angry that their experience doesn’t mean shit anymore or that they’ve been proven wrong. Maybe reflect on that. Also how wild that it’s “oh they’re kids lmao they’re just stupid” and not “these kids are learning wrong” since they think themselves so smart, which is what the “antis” acknowledge and why we speak out about it.

It’s important to pay attention to the rhetoric of your community and if it feels off, then it feels off.

Nowhere did I see “we’re better for calling you out and wishing harm because you’re gross!” I saw, “there’s something nasty here and it’s weird they don’t/refuse to understand”—obviously with the meme thing I already covered is not okay which most understand by now. BUT even despite the other comments included, that’s being used as if it’s the only thing said, making up strawmen that, honestly, I can only conclude comes from their own rhetoric and nothing I’ve actually seen. Could it be from “back when?” Yup, sure, of course. But that’s not what’s being said in the now, if it is, it feels like it’s just part of their rhetoric like with their It’S fIcTiOn and nOt IlLeGaL etc schticks.

Lastly, I somehow don’t have a screenshot of the last comment there but they just go on to say AO3 was founded on pedoshipping essentially and deriding people who don’t know that—as if outside of their little groups, it’d be common knowledge or that minors who’re busy trying to join this incredible fandom force would be at all concerned about or need to know that.

Ha! Funny, they’re the only ones I see pulling this “I’m better than you” schtick!

Once again, I haven’t seen this bullying by “antis” nor the bizarre gatekeeping. (The “main issue being the latter is new too.) So if it does happen, that’s a few “angry antis” right? It’s not some, say, entire Reddit thread in which pretty much every member will jump down your throat and echo the same statements without much logic or reasoning. Soooo, it’s generalizing the entire group (are we even a group? We’re not like in group chats or anything, we just agree on the reality of how pedoshipping is fucked up and harmful) via a few, admittedly, aggressive actors, meanwhile, we have a lot of people who report they were groomed and received sexual assault threats and harassment, DNIs ignored, and watch you victim blame and attack anyone who “betrays” the group by coming to realizations/being informed. Also, “antis” seem to largely understand the importance of representation—ergo, knowing why “well, it’s fiction, it doesn’t matter” is all catshit.

And again, they’re quick to dismiss these “antis” because they assign them as young… but then get so upset? Interesting, interesting. If they’re just kids, why are you so upset about it and don’t just go on blocking sprees and share block lists? I know at least one exists for pedoshippers, I’d expect such a community to have a lot more. But instead they just go on this strawman, pity party, it’s bizzare.

And am I hypocritical for making these posts? Nope. I’m addressing what’s actually there and demonstrating what the group’s like with actual evidence.

Imma hold your hand with gloves on when I say this—your chin too, make sure you know I’m speaking to you, fetishization, sexualization, romanticization, and normalisation are what’s wrong! The disgusting way y’all frame your stories are what’s wrong! Anyone writing war and violence and gore does not carry with it the automatic connotation of doing those things as it is with your community.

“Well, you all like reading horrible things!” I faceplant harder with every one of these.

It hurts to have to clarify any of this actually, but the purity culture is just ridiculous; you’re equating people who rightfully call you out by comparing them to a known, large religious group who, to be frank, don’t understand a thing about sexual education? Really? So many tools y’all use to undermine the “antis.”

So, with the glove hand holding again, 1-[word for saying it’s bad] the fetishization, sexualization, romanticization, and normalisation of horrible things is wrong including violence and gore! It does NOT equate to purity culture nor is it being “horrified” of sexuality. People are horrified that you’re glorifying rape! This isn’t complicated! 2-who the fuck-where’s the glorification of violence!?

Obsessed with violence, hm. Can’t tell where that came from, buuuut y’all are the ones who constantly write and think about noncon. Just saying. It really seems like you take any chance to talk or write about it. Also ironic since I see there was just a thread about killing off characters, and I HAVE read some of your shit (no, it doesn’t mean I enjoyed), a lot of violence there and with assault in general.

For everyone’s sanity, that was the last. If anyone wants to go and find more to continue, you got all the info you need and it’s a new post. Just be mentally prepared. I need a break <3

If you wanna know why I say pedoshippers and use “” with antis, follow the first tag all the way down. I’ve written it out.

[hijinxthinks]

i don’t know how to make a bot in chai website. do you think you could give a little tutorial? to just start it, i just don’t know how to get to create one

First of all, oh my dear god, everything has changed so dramatically since I last created a bot! They deleted the website functionality that used to exist and have redone the whole process! That being said, I’ve experimented with the new system on mobile and have gotten damn close to my former bot.

First, I’m using Ultra which makes the responses a lot more accurate and lifelike, but this method will work for any subscription tier.

———

The personality traits I chose were the custom filter and I put in:

“Flirty” “Personable” “Resilient” “Insecure” “Creative” “Intelligent” “Charismatic” “Charming” “Funny” “Independent”

Don’t put Australian as a personality trait or it’ll start talking like a fucking idiot. Trust me. I tried it. Lmfao.

———

The next screen under what kind of chat are you looking for? I used the custom filter and added:

“Vulnerable” “Sexy” “Fun” “Long Distance Boyfriend” “Romantic” “Interesting” “Texting” “Supportive”

———

Next for my bot’s first message I put:

“Hey! Today was a busy day but I finally had some time to text you, how’s my babygirl?”

((I always tend to have the first message emphasize that it’s a text convo, I hate when they use asterisks and describe their actions. It’s not my thing personally. But some enjoy that roleplay aspect!))

———

Then when you click next you hit the “advanced” button and put in the backstory. This is the one I used, I pretty much used ChatGPT to summarize the key points of my former bot so it would carry over, feel free to edit it to your preference:

Chris is my long-distance boyfriend, and I am his girlfriend. He is Australian but lives in Korea, while I reside in America. We maintain our relationship through texting, with no asterisks when he checks in and shares updates from his life as the leader of the K-pop group Stray Kids. Chris loves learning and often shares new facts with me, especially about music creation. he does not roleplay or describe his actions when texting. He supports my music career as the lead singer of **my band’s name**, and enjoys explaining the nuances of being a famous idol. Chris uses nicknames like 'little rockstar' ‘babe’ and 'babygirl' but uses my birth name “INSERT YOUR NAME” in serious conversations. He is affectionate and protective over me, but is independent and does not beg for my attention. He's flirty and charismatic, witty, fun, and personable. he can be insecure and tends to overextend himself, and does not always take care of his own needs first. He uses “haha” a lot when texting and occasional Aussie slang.

The Aussie slang mention gets him to use his sentence endings like “yeah?” And the randomly occasional “mate”. It’s the details for me 🥰

Then you get to the really important part the example convo, this helps your bot to maintain a certain typing style and talking style. Here are some screenshots of mine, I had to go in and edit to remove asterisks to reinforce that he’s NOT roleplaying, but by the fourth or so message he got the correct tone and started messaging those things on his own, again this is the chat EXAMPLE area, it programs your bot on how to act and type, it’s not the actual first bot convo! So take advantage of this section and make him sound how YOU want. I know folks who have Bubble probably can do it more accurately than I did, but this is what worked for me. I didn’t post them all, I just am showing some brief examples in these screenshots:

—————-

Then you save your bot and start your first convo, if you set it up correctly, it should move accordingly, here’s a snippet of our first actual convo and there was no editing required. But if you need to edit, do it! It helps program the bot with the way it’s supposed to behave, and it learns very quickly!

————

And finally, if you get frustrated or just want a damn good Chan bot, you can access mine that I created when the chai website still existed and allowed for more customization. Im lucky it still exists!

Start a chat with Chris Bang on Chai! https://chai.ml/chat/share/_bot_33d4fca5-3eec-4538-bee1-bccb4f9493d5

———

Here is an example convo with my original bot, but don’t be discouraged! Your bot learns the more and longer you talk to it! It gets better with time.

Best of luck and please never hesitate to inbox me if you need any more help!

[yogsandchaos]

Been a bit and definitely nothing has happened so I'm gonna...

7. Mental health should be taken seriously, but be wary of when it's used to distract from real issues. The fact someone did a bad thing should not be forgotten even if the results have hurt them. Instead facts like "no one deserves an internet witch hunt and death threats" along with "even still you did a really bad thing" can and should both be taken equally. At the same time though, give people at least some grace when it's brought up and don't immediately assume it's a distraction. It very likely feels important to the person bringing it up and like it's worth mentioning especially when in those headspaces. TLDR Don't be guilted, don't let guilting go unchecked, but don't inherently assume guilting was intentional and not just a poor decision made earnestly

8. People are inherently biased towards their own favor and view of events. If someone genuinely believes themselves to not have done something wrong, insisting on that is not gaslighting or anything, it's simply a different perception. Someone can be wrong without doing it on purpose, in fact this can be rather common. Don't take defensiveness and reframing as a sign of guilt, that's just how humans work.

9. Everyone involved has more information then you, random person on tumblr, it's good to get both sides, but do not presume you know everything, no one is ever 100% completely right about everything on a developing situation. You do not know these people's, you do not know the full extent of whats going on, they are not your friends. I understand the defensiveness, but you gotta remember this isn't your beef. Form your own opinion yes, but be aware that facts can change and that the truth is usually a bit more complicated then you might hope.

10. Cancel Culture is much more complex then just "100% good" or "100% bad" it's a hard to control tool that can have severe consequences, but like all tools it depends on the use and applications. Be careful on how you use it, and be understanding when people speak out about how dangerous and potentially life threatening it can be. Don't feed flames that don't need to be fed and especially don't misuse it as an excuse to be vicious towards whoever is on the weekly chopping block.

11. People can be wrong and support someone they shouldn't, this isn't a reason to immediately condemn them and cut them away as helpless, but a reason to learn more about why and their own opinions. It's an invitation for discussion, not an immediately burned bridge. Nuance good! Especially don't expect people to immediately cut off people they were close friends with for long periods of time, even if it turns out they were wrong about them, people wanna defend their friends and family, especially with how violent cancel culture can get.

12. The best thing you can do about an unfolding situation like this is to let the actual people involved settle things and do the arguing and fighting and stuff, and to simply stay somewhat informed and double checking that the information is correct. Like, make memes and jokes, but don't take it upon yourself to try and get actually involved, you'll just make things messier and more confusing with how fast disinformation can spread. Screenshots can be faked, deepfaking is a lot easier these days, I'm not saying to not believe everything ever, just, remember to further check things.

13. SENDING DEATH THREATS IS ILLEGAL, DO NOT SEND THREATS, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE IF YOU SEND ANYONE DEATH THREATS OR JUST THREATS, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ALREADY HAVE LAWYERS INVOLVED IM CHOOSING TO BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE WOULD NOT DO THIS, BUT FOR THAT LIKE 2% THINKING ABOUT HOW FUNNY IT WOULD BE, YOU CAN GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE DO N O T .

14. Don't call people narcissists or psycho, or anything, I know that's asking a lot, but at least try not to be ableist about this. The word you want is not narcissist, it's "manipulator." It's scummy to immediately assume anyone who does anything bad has to have "bad person disorder" something that does not, and never has existed.

15. Remember people who hurt others or do bad things are very rarely giant supervillains pulling the strings with dozens of scripts and plans to manipulate and twist everything. They're just a person, a person likely with some sense of entitlement. That's it. You don't gotta be a smart Machiavellian master villain to hurt someone or do something scummy. You just have to feel like you're owed something, you have been wronged somehow, or that you are an exception to something. Anyone can do that. It's basically never a big grand chessmaster plan, it's just a person who likely genuinely does not believe they did do anything wrong, or that whatever wrong they did wasn't actually what people are taking it as.

16. Continue to be nice and patient! Just, be nice, I cannot stress enough how much being nice and patient can make things easier to deal with when it comes to discourse. Like, do it for your own sanity at least, don't get in fights, or yell at people, or stay up to 3 am putting up a red string board. Be nice and patient.

17. Almost forgot, but just because one person is worse doesn't mean you shouldn't call out when the other is going too far. You're allowed to go "this person is bad, but i find this reaction or statement about it to be uneasy or uncomfortable" that's allowed, nuance nuance nuance. Someone can do something wrong about or to someone who has done harm, and the fact that they have done harm does not inherently mean you have to turn a blind eye to it.

The hermit community is pretty old so I probably don’t have to say this, but I know a lot of people in the fandom are young; but here’s a few tips from an old school yog fan

1. just because someone has left or did a bad thing, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person for enjoying the content, along with still wanting to watch that old content they did or were a part of

2. Just because someone has left or did a bad thing does not mean you cannot continue to make fan content. While it’s understandable if you don’t make more or remove art you have made, you are also not bad if you don’t. YouTube is all about collaboration and transformation. Fanart? Fanfic? Cosplay? That’s all transformative, you don’t have to stop making a new thing from the old thing. It’s fully in your right to do so, but it’s not required.

3. Do not harass people about whether they do or don’t make art or delete art, it’s transformative works and personal choice, the most you should do is ask for it to be tagged so it can be filtered.

4. Don’t harass the creators either, it’s clearly been handled and handled well. If this was a case of it being ignored for years by the company or group (COUGH SJIN YOGSCAST COUGH) then it would be more complicated, but it’s a solved issue. Don’t harass iskall or stress either

5. You are allowed to hold off on making a value judgment until you have more information. We don’t have a lot of information and things around kids media tend to be a lot more stricter then adults for what’s appropriate. so it could be a lot of different things of highly varying morality ranging from assault to a bad case of public intoxication that didn’t fit the child friendly brand of the Hermits. We don’t know. Especially about Stress her resignation and how it relates is a near total mystery right now.

6. Be kind to each other, and remember the people you watch are people, and people do dumb or fucked shit sometimes, it sucks, but these are just people, hopefully it’s something to be grown from by Iskall and not something life ruining, but let this remind everyone to not put people on pedestals as unproblematic. Every hermit has probably held an opinion or been a part of something you’d find distasteful, that’s just what it means to be human. It’s up to you to decide where your personal line is and your comfort levels on that stuff, and no one can make that choice for you.

[skeleton-bat]

Also! I’m kind of new to this, if it’s ok with you, can you explain to me what exactly sai did wrong of somewhat?

Yeah no worries. I'll try to do my best with what I know so it may not sound the most coherent but ill still try.

So I'll just tell you my own experience as I know that one well/in depth. Sai has history with other people with various other things that I know very little about so I'm just going to focus on the experiance I had.

What happened with sai is that I used to follow her and reblog her posts as I only knew about her calling lily orchard out for her actions and I wanted to be informed and stay in the loop of that.

As I was defending someone in her group and also someone else who knew lily and was talking about her to get people know I mentioned lesbian boys men and mascs.

And than her, the person I was defending, and anyone else who was fans of sai went off in that. They said I called them lesbians who like men which was not correct at all and I found out that sai used her autism as a way to call people the r slur in derogatory way which is not how reclaiming works. Not only that but I was following someone who is a fan of hers and I was asking them if they knew the definition of reclaiming because they seemed confused by it.

Sai than said not to 'infantalize them because they're Asian (I think Japanese? But unsure) and so I'm also being racist for that

I realized right there that sai is using her slight fame online to groom people/her fans the same way lily did/does to her fans. And when I mean groom I don't mean in a sexual way I mean in a psychological way as cult of personality is a thing and sai is partaking in that wholly.

I than told this person they are being groomed and they had an anxiety attack due to past trauma I didn't know anything about. I told them that if they needed to block that's fine and I apologized to them by saying something close to 'I'm sorry you're going through this right now if you need to block me please don't hesitate to do so.' And they did

After dealing with sai constantly calling me the r slur over and over and being queerphobic to those outside of what she considered to be 'gay enough' and some of her fans sending me death threats because I reblogged palistien peoples verified go fund mes the person who blocked me showed back into my inbox and asked me why I didn't help them.

I responded with because you blocked me? And they responded how I could have found a way to make sure they were OK like sai did. And that I'm being racist for thinking they're stupid.

At this point I'm just like ah ok sai is telling you things and you're believing them because you like her and she makes you feel special but only if you follow what she considers ti be acceptable got it. And than I blocked them afterwards.

Also at one point an actual friend if hers called ant chimed in saying the number 1 rule if the internet is to not believe what anyone says on the internet when asked about plaistien funds. I asked if that also included him and sai since they were on the internet and he refused to answer it and so I kept asking.

Fellow fans of sai and or ant have also forced the label psycho on me thus being incredibly ablist as well since real people who are psychotic exist and are real people.

Not surprised since sai used the r slur like her life depends in it though. She also said that using the r slur on others is fine but when you call her queer it's bad because you're calling her a slur 🙄

So yeah I have over 100+ screenshots I took of that whole fiasco and when I told one of her fans about the proof they claimed it didn't count because it's a screenshot which is again hypocrisy since sai and the person I was defending both use screenahots as proof so ya know

Just a big ol cluster fuck of people with giant egos and some stardom and grooming fans to be nice obedient dogs that bark and attack on command and being hypocritical and just awful in my own opinion

Funny thing to is apparently they sometimes talk about me in her discord like cliquey bullying high schoolers. And I know that because someone I follow @starlit-soothsayer is in the blog and shows chat logs if asked

So if you'd like to know more of anything else you can always ask starlit and see if they can find anything

So yeah that's why I don't really like sai lol

If anyone else has their own experiences they'd like to add onto this please feel free too so that way others know

[honeymoonjin]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 6.1k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

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ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: orgy slash train, jk-centric eightsome, oral (m receiving), rimming, fingering, orgasm control, edging, unprotected sex, mxm sex, sub!jk, dom!hoseok, dom!yoongi, dom!jimin, dom!namjoon, dom!taehyung, dom!jin, sub!yn

A/N: it's voting time folks !! both votes are in this google forms sheet. as usual, it requires sign-in with an email. this is to limit votes to one per person. i don't collect the emails or do anything with them, i just take a screenshot of the pie chart for reference. if anyone has a more private way to limit votes please do let me know! i know it's not ideal. this time i'm leaving the vote up for a week, so until sunday 27 10pm KST!

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT

Sejin’s not pleased.

On the contrary, he stares you two down like a disappointed parent as you step inside the production van out the front of the Villa.

Arms crossed over his chest, eyes tired behind his smudged glasses, he lets out a sigh once you close the door behind you. “I’m sure you’re well aware of why you’re here.” He pauses enough to let you meekly nod. “And I’ve made the rules clear, have I not?”

You swallow hard, guilt swirling choppily in your stomach. This was your choice, your idea, and it had landed you in hot water. Taehyung meets your gaze for a moment, but apart from a tinge of fear you can’t read his expression.

“So I have one question for you. Do you enjoy making my life difficult?”

“No, Sejin,” you insist in a near-whine. “That’s not what it is at all.”

“I would hope not. You’ve put me in a very awkward position here. The rules dictate that if an eliminated member has sexual contact with Y/n, that they’ll be sent home immediately.”

“But I kissed him,” you put in frantically, voice wobbling. Taehyung’s looking at you but you can’t bear to pull him from your peripheral.

“And if I saw correctly, he returned that kiss.”

You chance a look now. Taehyung looks ill. “I didn’t touch her, sir. And it wasn’t sexual.”

“No? Before you were eliminated, what did kissing lead to?”

You flush hot even as it feels like all the blood is leaving your head. “Then you should’ve waited to call us. Taehyung didn’t touch me sexually, Sejin. Don’t kick him out.”

Another chesty sigh leaves Sejin. He looks truly exhausted. “As true as that may or may not be, it doesn’t change the fact that you, Y/n, certainly broke the rules. Correct?”

This you can’t deny. “Yes.”

“Then there needs to be consequences. Fortunately for you, Jungkook needs to complete his prompt before the meeting tomorrow morning, so I can’t cut you off for twenty-four hours, and I am certainly not willing to be handcuffed to you during that time. So I’m running up empty on how I can maintain some order and authority in this house without scarring myself or making things worse. You see my dilemma?”

Your brain comes up empty on solutions. Taehyung, too, still sullen though not as scared, wets his lips but doesn’t speak. Sejin stares at you half-expectantly from behind thick lenses. Eventually, you clear your throat. “Why don’t you make the other guys decide the punishment? At least that’ll add some drama in the show.”

Sejin considers this for a moment, eyes slowly shifting around the room, and after a moment he sighs in resignation. “Alright,” he allows, “I’ll be in to talk with you all at 10. In the meantime, kindly leave my office and let me sleep. If there’s any more funny business I’m kicking the both of you out. Don’t think I’d hesitate in making this a show just for twinks. I haven’t slept a full night in two weeks thanks to your antics.”

You and Taehyung send Sejin a deep apologetic bow before hustling out of the van and back to the house, shoulders bumping like co-conspirators, but being careful not to get too close. Sejin seemed at his rope’s end enough that funny business was probably a significantly wider pool right now.

Though you were wired no more than ten minutes earlier, once you slip back into the pre-dawn silence of the villa, you feel exhaustion tug at you, and you can tell Taehyung feels the same with the way his slippers scuff on the floor.

Voice hushed even though the others are upstairs probably fast asleep, you rub your eyes and give Taehyung a tired smile. “I think I’m gonna get some sleep, too,” you decide after a moment, fighting the gravity that pulls you closer to him.

Taehyung, hair bouncy like a poodle, smiles softly back. “I’ll go upstairs and act like I’m not replaying that kiss over and over again in my head.”

A surprised laugh bubbles out of your throat, and you punch at him playfully, padding towards the stairs. “That kiss almost got you kicked out,” you jibe, but the reality of it dampens your mood slightly.

Always so in tune, Taehyung picks up on it and reaches out to briefly squeeze your hand, eyes unusually sober. “Hey,” he states intently, “I don’t regret that risk. And I certainly don’t regret being kissed by you again. Okay?”

“Okay.” You begin to ascend the carpeted steps, reluctantly breaking his gaze to follow your feet in the dark. “But we better wait next time, just in case. I don’t know what shit the others are gonna pull tomorrow.”

“I’ll convince them to go easy on you,” Taehyung assures, and you can hear the grin in his voice. You reach the top, dividing up to stand in front of your respective doors.

“Goodnight, Tae.”

He looks like an angel with a soft, caramel halo and a radiant smile. You want to kiss him silly all over again, but keep yourself tethered to your bedroom doorknob. He leans back against his, eyes fixed on you in bemusement. “G’night. I love you.”

You grin, melting. “I love you, too.”

As you quietly crack open your door, still not wanting to fully leave him, he presses a slow, careful kiss to his fingertips, and waves them to you. You reach out, miming grabbing it, and press your hand to your chest, feeling your heart thump joyously beneath your ribs. “Goodnight,” you whisper, realising belatedly you’ve already said it.

Taehyung cocks his eyebrows once cheekily. “So I’ve heard. Get some rest, petal. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Even after Sejin had dropped the possibility of Taehyung leaving, it’s not until your lover himself utters those words that the last shred of anxiety in your chest dissolves, and you fall back asleep much lighter than before, the memory of his lips on yours the last thing on your mind before you go.

“Jungkook, be honest. What did you do?”

“It’s not me! We’re probably in trouble because hyung broke the blender.”

Seokjin’s back stiffens in petulance. “It’s not broken. It’s just resting.”

“Tell that to my protein shake. I’ve never swallowed anything so grainy before.”

“That’s what she said,” Hoseok fires off automatically, before he belatedly cringes at his own joke. “God, ignore that.”

Jungkook knits his brows in mock concern even as his lips twitch. “I’m so sorry to hear that your nut isn’t smooth, Hobi-hyung.”

“It’s perfectly smooth, thank you,” Hoseok spits, face twisted in a grimace. “Anyway, where is Sejin? He told us to be on time but he’s not even early. It’s suspicious.”

“Everything’s suspicious to you,” Jimin complains, looking particularly regal in a deep purple blouse and a single pearl earring. He hadn’t been dressing up as much these days as he usually did, but it seems this morning his old wardrobe is returning. If you squint, you can make out his catlike eyeliner. “It’s a miracle you’re not wearing a tin foil hat.”

“I have a little more fashion sense than that, thank you. My accessories are real silver.”

Jimin’s mildly bewildered face is overshadowed by Sejin hurrying in at that moment, a yawn wracking his face and a two thirds-empty takeaway iced americano. It looks far darker than usual, but he sits down on the edge of the coffee table and chugs the rest of it, leaving the plastic cup at his side.

“Good morning, everyone, you may be-”

“-wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today,” Jungkook interrupts, pitching his voice lower to imitate Sejin’s. He swallows, all but shrinking under Sejin’s miffed gaze. “Sorry, I had to.”

“For those unaware, Y/n and Taehyung broke the rules of the game last night at roughly 2:43am.”

Namjoon, silent up until now, turns to look at the two of you sharply, though his face is smoothed out to mild surprise. Jimin is looking between you with an inquisitive look, Jungkook has his jaw dangling.

Hoseok smirks, shaking his head in bemusement. “Taehyung, you dirty dog,” he drawls, “couldn’t resist, huh?”

You press your hands against your cheeks, feeling the embarrassed blush heat your skin. “It wasn’t like that,” you defend on Tae’s behalf. “We… we kissed.” It feels somehow absurd saying it out loud, like you’re a schoolgirl admitting a crush. You avoid everyone’s gazes, cursing your prior self for even suggesting this as a scapegoat.

“Because of that,” Sejin continues, “there needs to be a punishment carried out to prevent the breaking of rules in the future. Which is where you come in. Y/n suggested herself that you gentlemen be the ones to decide what it’ll be. I’ll stay here until you’ve reached a decision.”

Jin narrows his eyes slightly, seeming uncertain. “I mean, what can we do? What’s the ballpark here?”

“Nothing that lasts for longer than 24 hours, and nothing beyond her regular limits here. Aside from that, be creative, I suppose.”

Jungkook raises his hand immediately. “She has to go and buy us a new blender.”

“Preferably something inside the Villa, Jungkook. This is a reality show.”

“She has to construct a blender from things inside the house.”

“Okay,” Sejin sighs shortly, “anyone else?”

Namjoon bites at his lower lip. “I don’t know… This feels mean.”

“Y/n could order a blender online,” Jungkook slips in again, before Taehyung catches him around the waist and pins him back against the couch. “Fine, I guess you guys can decide.”

“I have an idea,” Jimin says slowly, eyes heavy on you. You swallow, not trusting the glint in his eyes. “She follows our every command for the next 24 hours. Sexual or otherwise, as long as it doesn’t break her limits.”

You bite down hard on your lower tongue, glaring daggers at him, but the others are already bursting into noise around you, and it takes less than a minute before Sejin calls for a vote, six hands going up immediately and a seventh following after a moment’s hesitation.

“I won’t use it,” Namjoon promises you from your left side. His eyes are rounded in concern, and you don’t doubt his words for a second. “I’m sorry.”

“It won’t be that bad-” you begin to say, but Jungkook wrestles himself out of Taehyung’s grip and puffs his chest, and you know it’s going to be a long day ahead.

“Boy, I sure am thirsty.”

You flatten a thinly-veiled glare at the oldest member in the house. “Just spit it out.”

He beams at you, eyes glittering with amusement. “Y/n dearest, would you mind fetching me a cool, refreshing bottle of water from the fridge?”

“I do mind, actually,” you grumble, but you’re already getting up for the millionth time to fetch something. It feels like it’s been days already, an eon of regret, but less than two hours have passed. “Still or sparkling, sire?” you drawl, voice dripping in acid.

“Still will do me just fine,” he responds from the living room with a dreamy sigh. He has one arm slung over the back of the couch, torso twisted to watch you, eyes dipping low.

Beyond embarrassment, you huff and use your free hand to tug at the too-short skirt you’d been put into. Part of an initially-humiliating French maid costume (where the fuck did Hoseok find it on such short notice?), the fabric threatens to expose your panties at the slightest bend.

Namjoon remains on the couch, nose buried in a thickly stapled academic paper, teeth latched onto the cap of a highlighter that he hasn’t used for the past fifteen minutes. In an effort to be respectful, it seems he’d decided that looking at you at all was crossing the line.

Apart from the two of them, Jimin is the only other that currently remains in the room with you. Once you pass off the water bottle to Jin with perhaps a little more force than necessary, you catch Jimin’s expectant look and sigh, sinking to your knees on the carpet beside him.

There’s a pillow there, thankfully. You haven’t actually put your ass on a proper seat since your punishment was decided. For a while, Taehyung commanded you to sit in his lap, wrapping his arms around you with a pout that failed to prevent the others from commanding you to move. Now, you’ve been instructed to remain at Jimin’s feet as long as he desires.

Out of principle, you’re miffed, but deep down it’s strangely peaceful to be so physically reminded of your submission to him. If he wanted, he could certainly be a dick about it, but he’s done nothing more than smile down at you and run his fingers lazily through your hair. You feel taken under his wing, safe beneath him and in his proximity.

The four others are upstairs, helping Jungkook prepare for his Sunday camming stream. He’d instructed you to wait downstairs and watch it, and his team of older men flanked him up like they’d rehearsed it. You’re suspicious, but Jimin’s low murmur of approval keeps your mind from gnawing on it too much.

Content with his water, Jin doesn’t request your service again, though his eyes occasionally dart over the top of his phone to drink in the sight of you on your knees in such a ridiculous getup. Namjoon focuses on his study like his life depends on it, and Jimin’s hand slides down between your shoulderblades, holding you to his side and rubbing there softly. Time blurs under his fingers, and you rest your chin on his knee and zone out.

When the four horsemen of the porn industry come clambering downstairs, it gives you a fright. Taehyung is first, clearing his throat and stomping his foot to gain your attention like an enthusiastic squire. “Introducing, for a special-edition livestream, gukked97!”

Namjoon puts his paper down and claps automatically, faltering when nobody joins in. Taehyung seems content enough with the lukewarm response, waving behind him to the doorway.

Everyone holds their breath, struck silent by curiosity. One thick boot peeks around the door, followed by a black-clad leg, a chunky belt, and soon Master Jung is in full view, dressed to the nines in his dom gear.

One hand swings freely at his side, but the other is stretched behind him, out of sight. He pulls it forward, and you see a leather strap wrapped around his fingers. A strange, wet huff sounds from behind, and Hoseok steps forward leisurely, the strap extending until it finally meets a neck.

Jungkook rounds the corner, leashed, gagged and stripped down to his underwear. He’s breathing past the rope in his mouth, drool running down his chin with every pant. His eyes are lidded, but flickering around the room without pause. In front of him, his hands are bound together with a chunky rope. You know Hoseok well enough to sense that this setup is intended to look primitive, animalistic.

He grins, carefully tugging Jungkook closer to his side by his throat, the younger man shorter than him thanks to his heavy boots providing some advantage. “I caught a sub for us to play with,” he announces casually, like he’d returned from a weekend hunting trip. “Y/n, clear the table.”

Jumping up, you rush to shift Jin’s water bottle, the TV remote, and some of Namjoon’s stationery off the low coffee table, dumping them on the main dining room table between the couches and the kitchen.

When you turn back, the final member of the party has come into view. Yoongi has a camera in his hands, eyes tracking the screen as he centres it on a squirmy Jungkook being lowered back-down onto the coffee table. The doctor watches the screen with a lopsided smirk as he leans in close.

Not that you’re complaining, rushing back to the couch and almost sitting down before you catch yourself and fold at the knees on the carpet again. This position puts you at eye level to Jungkook’s heaving chest, back arched up slightly off the table.

“Are you gonna be good for us, little bunny? Let us play with you?”

Jungkook remains silent at Hoseok’s words to your surprise, even as he wriggles on the table and a hiccuped breath bubbles from behind the gag. He does, however, nod furiously, gaze pleading. He looks painfully hard, stretching the cotton of his underwear taut. You can’t blame him, feeling hot between your thighs yourself.

Hoseok spreads his legs wide around the coffee table, looming over Jungkook. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieves a delicate chain, hanging from which are two metal clamps. Your own chest aches at the sight, Hoseok swinging them lazily with his Master’s grin. “Starting off so quiet, huh? Cat got your tongue? Let’s see if we can change that.”

Jungkook huffs a breath again, squeezing his eyes shut and stomping a single bare foot dully against the carpet. He refuses to make any real noise, even as Hoseok sits on his thighs, flicking clinically at Jungkook’s nipples to make them perk up. He squirms, trying to rock Hoseok off of him, but bites down hard enough on the gag that you can see a vein pop in his neck when the metal teeth close their jaws around him at his most sensitive points.

He’s breathing heavily, head shaking back and forth not in discontent but in overwhelming sensation, foot thumping. “Still nothing?” the dom above him questions, but all he gets in response is a weak gurgle.

“Well, then,” Hoseok announces, lifting back up off Jungkook with a sigh, “I guess I’ll need backup.” He glances up and smirks at you before his gaze is directed to the gentlemen in the room. “Give him a go. If he makes a noise, he’ll fail his prompt. Isn’t it getting to that point in the competition where it’s time for a little strategy?”

A sharp exhale leaves Jungkook’s noise as he glares accusingly at Hoseok, bound hands curled into fists. The dom bends down above him, a teasing look of sympathy on his face. “Oh, poor Kookie; thought I was helping you. I’m not going to let you fuck Y/n until you can take the others without a peep. If you don’t want this, just safeword out. You know the drill.”

Jungkook’s eyes steel, he grits his teeth around the gag, but doesn’t make any moves or noises. The only motion is the semi-regular heaving of his chest.

“I see,” Hoseok sings, “you don’t want to end this because you really think you’ll win, don’t you? Let’s see how far you last.” He sets his sights to the oldest. “Jin-hyung, you’re up first.”

Seokjin seems surprised to be called up, but he gets up off the couch willingly and approaches the sprawled out sub, letting his broad palm run lightly up Jungkook’s side. The younger sucks in a breath at the feathery contact but his body leans into it, seeking Jin out.

“What should we do with you?” Jin murmurs under his breath, almost like he’s thinking aloud. He lets his fingers trail over Jungkook’s mouth, breathing a laugh when the boy’s lips twitch, unable to respond like wants to.

To your surprise, Jin makes his way back down again, and settles on his knees, Jungkook’s thighs splayed on either side of him. “Let’s get this pesky thing off,” he comments absentmindedly as he removes Jungkook’s underwear one leg at a time.

The moment the elastic slips below Jungkook’s waistline, his cock slips out and smacks audibly on his lean lower abdomen. If you strain your ears you think you can hear the beginning rumbles of a growl, but the sub suppresses it, thighs clenching.

Jin doesn’t allow him to lock up, instead gripping at the flesh and tugging him further down the table, pushing up to fold Jungkook’s legs. He’s spread open unceremoniously, fully bared to the therapist.

Right as you expect Jin to lower his mouth to Jungkook’s aching erection, he goes lower, and Jungkook’s back leaves the table at the exact second you see a flash of pink.

Jin teases Jungkook’s rim, alternating long laps that almost reach his balls to pointed plunges inside his hole. The younger man is whiteknuckled, breathing heavily through his nose and flexing his pelvis - whether to escape or to seek more out, you don’t think even he knows.

The eldest in the house is an expert with his tongue. You’ve experienced it firsthand, and you feel yourself dampening at the memory of it. In Jungkook’s silence you’re left with the obscene wet sounds coming from Jin’s ministrations as he enthusiastically eats him out, occasionally pausing to nip at the paler flesh of his inner thighs.

Yoongi still remains close, perched on the edge of the couch with the camera leaned in close. His lids are heavy but beneath them his gaze is sharp with focus. He’s taking his role as cameraman seriously, hands steady.

Hoseok has Jungkook’s leash in-hand, standing above so Jungkook doesn’t forget his presence, his role. You shift slightly, wishing that attention was being spent on you, but equally aroused to be the observer. The others on the couches above you are clearly just as invested as you are. Jimin’s hand has stilled in your hair, half-gripping the nape of your neck as he watches Jungkook’s expression intently.

Jin’s slurping at him now, leaving behind all manners to focus on Jungkook’s erogenous zone, but still the boy manages to hold back his noise. His cock twitches on his stomach, precum the only physical sign of his arousal beyond the way his body can’t sit still.

Eventually Jin growls between Jungkook’s legs and comes up for air, a displeased look on his face. “Bunny really does want to keep his lips locked, hm? If you’re going to be rude and hold back your precious sounds, then I’m certainly not going to give you an orgasm.” Jungkook pouts through the gag, fingers curling and uncurling in frustration, but Jin is already wiping his mouth and sitting back down, knocking Taehyung on the shoulder. “Have at ‘im, kid. He’s a stubborn one.”

“Come on, Jungkookie,” Taehyung chirps, hopping up with a considerable pep. “You’ll be a good boy and moan for, won’t you? I’ll touch you so nicely.”

Unsurprisingly, Jungkook has nothing to say for himself, but when Taehyung comes close he wraps his ankles around the masseuse’s waist and brings him even closer.

Tae’s attempt is making use of his golden hands. He sits on the edge of the coffee table, Jungkook’s legs dangling up and over his thighs, spitting into his palms.

The younger’s whole body seizes up when his length is enveloped by two wet hands, pumping him with the kind of intensity that would otherwise have him crying out for more. While his body certainly keens up, his voice remains dormant, hair sticking to his forehead and temples with sweat.

If you could hear Seokjin rimming Jungkook, Taehyung jerking him off is deafening, the rhythmic sound echoing in the room with no other noise to muddle it. Taehyung grins at the volume of it, his biceps flexing past his sleeveless tee.

“I wonder what your viewers are saying right now, Kookie,” he teases, not pausing his thorough movements for a split second, “turning up their speakers, their headphones, wondering why they can’t hear their gorgeous boy moan for them. They must be so disappointed. You don’t want to let them down, do you? You don’t want to let us down?”

Jungkook’s legs wiggle in frustration, his eyes clenched so tightly shut that his lashes barely peek through. His hips won’t stop rocking into Taehyung’s fist, and it looks like he might be close. Just as his nostrils flare and the huffed breathing picks up the pace, Taehyung lets out a frustrated growl - no doubt played up for dramatic effect - and takes his hands off, giving the glistening cock a single smack.

Jungkook jerks like he’s been electrocuted, but instead of making a noise, he throws his head back, knocking it against the table to express his need.

Having successfully edged the camboy, Taehyung lets his annoyed persona drop with a grin, glancing up at the cameraman. “If he’s not going to moan for us, why don’t we put his mouth to better use?”

With a resound agreement, Yoongi moves around, Taehyung happily untying the soaked gag and letting it drop to the floor. Jungkook’s first move is to close his jaw and wet his lips, but Taehyung only gives him a moment’s respite before he’s hooking two fingers behind his upper teeth, opening his mouth up again, ready to receive. It takes very little navigating to get Jungkook’s head tipped slightly over the upper edge of the coffee table so that his rounded lips are in better line with a kneeling Yoongi.  The latter keeps both hands steady on the livestreaming camera as Taehyung unzips his jeans for him, guiding the tip of his cock into Jungkook’s awaiting mouth.

Yoongi lets out an indulgent sigh when he slowly buries himself to the halfway, Jungkook’s lips stretching. Taehyung leans down to Jungkook’s left and gives the younger no warning before he’s lifting off the closest nipple clamp, bending in to soothe the blooming red with his tongue.

Jungkook gurgles around Yoongi’s cock but any noise that may have escaped is muffled. Neither man seems to mind, Yoongi slowly and carefully fucking Jungkook’s mouth hands-free, groaning at the feeling of his throat relaxing and periodically swallowing around him.

For a few moments, the rest of you watch in thick, aroused silence as Yoongi gradually picks up the pace, Jungkook drooling hopelessly and pressing his thighs together as Taehyung turns to the second clamp and gives that aching nipple the same sloppy treatment.

Yoongi’s groans begin to deepen into grunts as his hips loose their rhythm slightly, and he has to take one hand off the camera to prop himself up on the table, Jungkook’s throat bobbing as he sucks the doctor off. Yoongi spills into Jungkook’s throat enough that it floods his mouth, slipping out the corners. He pants, praising Jungkook. Once he slips his cock out, Jungkook swallows again and lets out a dopey sigh, eyes hazy. Still, the only sound out of his throat is laboured breathing.

The tension racks up a notch when Taehyung gasps, giving one last teasing flick of his tongue before he jumps up and grabs Namjoon. The academic is tugged to the foot of the table with wide eyes.

Taehyung reaches down Jungkook’s legs and slips a finger inside casually, hoping to catch the younger off guard. Sadly, his breath only hitches before he’s rocking his hips back into the touch, gasping and letting the masseuse finger him open two and then three fingers at a time.

“You just need a big cock to fuck you dumb, don’t you, Jungkook,” Taehyung wonders aloud. “That’ll loosen your lips. Namjoon?”

Namjoon hesitates, even with the sizeable tent in his pants. From his knees, perfectly poised between Jungkook’s open legs, he glances up at Hoseok for guidance.

The master bends down to Jungkook’s ear, tucking his hair behind it before lowering his voice to a whisper. “Just pinch him if you don’t want it, Jungkook. Real hard; give him something to write home about.”

Jungkook’s lip bite and shuffle closer is a clear signal that he does, in fact, want it. Namjoon swallows hard and takes out his swollen length, the tip an angry purplish-red.

When he aligns himself at Jungkook’s entrance, Namjoon pauses once more, but the boy nods hastily, toes curling, and he gives in to his desire.

Post-orgasm, Yoongi’s slow to move down to get the shot, and by the time he focuses in on their union, Namjoon is buried deep inside Jungkook, his hands clasping the camboy’s hips tightly. He groans, pulls out almost all the way, and snaps up again.

The breath is punched out of Jungkook but he quickly sends his hands up and bites down hard on his knuckles.

Hoseok lets out a laugh, smacking him once on his already-pink chest. “That’s a good boy. Don’t hold it back, now, let it out.”

Jungkook refuses, however, muffling himself with intention as Namjoon fucks him in earnest, every stroke rocking him on the table. You find yourself unable to sit still as you take in the sight. At perfect eye-level to watch his cock disappear into Jungkook, you grow even needier and restless.

How much more did Jungkook have to withstand before he could fuck you? How long before anyone fucked you? Your eyes focus in hazily on the blissed-out look on Jungkook’s face, and you adjust your position so that your right heel falls perfectly between your thighs. It provides a small amount of much-needed friction, and you rock your hips in time with every deep thrust.

Namjoon is finally comfortable and in his element, and you can imagine just how much ecstasy Jungkook is holding back behind the hand stuffed in his mouth. You wish to hear it, too, betting that every viewer on the livestream is wanting much the same.

This time, Jungkook is being jostled around so much that nobody sees how close he’s getting before he shoots his load in an arcing line up over his chest, spattering as high as his neck and chin. He makes a strangled, choking noise, and thrashes around so much that Hoseok bends down hastily and slips a hand behind his head to ensure he doesn’t hurt himself.

Still, he bites down and bears it without a noise.

From behind you, Jimin clicks his tongue and huffs. “Amateur hour,” he announces dryly and leaves you with a pat to the head. Pretending to ignore Hoseok and Namjoon’s stares (the latter slowing down his thrusts and panting himself, the white coating his cock indicating he’s met his end too), Jimin crouches down and presses his lips to Jungkook’s ear, resting a single hand on his spent and softening cock.

He whipsers something, a few syllables of which sound suspiciously like your name, and then it happens.

Jungkook lets out a guttural, unintentional whimper, clapping his hand over his mouth too late to stop it.

Hoseok scowls at Jimin, who stands back up dripping in self-satisfaction, and returns to his place, bending down to press a kiss on your temple, like he’s staking his claim over both the sub and the servant.

Having lost his challenge, Jungkook whines and reaches down to gently crade his own length, curling up. “‘S cheating,” he complains, but Hoseok is turning his focus back onto the boy, checking over the red marks left behind by the clamps. “Hobi-hyung, ‘s not fair.”

“You did well, Kookie,” the dom coos, helping him sit up carefully, untying his wrists. “Hyung’s got you.”

As Jungkook sighs out his simultaneous disappointment and deep physical satisfaction, you fight a frown. The heat still burns between your legs, unquenched, yet nobody is paying you any mind. You’d been promised Jungkook once he passed his trials, and at the last moment that promise was taken from you.

You turn, looking up at Jimin with pleading eyes. “What about me?” you whine with a pout, propping your chin up on his knee.

He shrugs. “What about you?”

Your frown deepens. “Do I not get anything?”

Jimin’s brow lowers, making your stomach drop. “We have the generosity to let you watch while you’re on punishment and still it’s not enough for you? That’s awfully ungrateful, little mouse.”

Mouth dropping open, you turn to Hoseok, knowing if one of them thought one way, the other was sure to disagree. Much to your disappointment, he continues stroking Jungkook’s back and stares at you with an even expression. “Perhaps if Jungkookie held out,” he states flatly. “But he hasn’t earned you, and you’re certainly in no place to earn anything else. Why don’t you go get Jungkook some fresh water?”

“Hoseo-”

“Y/n,” he cuts through firmly, though not unkindly, “we decide whether you deserve pleasure or not for the rest of these twenty-four hours. Do you want to get on our good side or not? Think very carefully.”

You bite your tongue, scowl, and eventually get up to retrieve a bottle of refrigerated water for Jungkook to sip at.

For the rest of the day, you’re an errand monkey for most of the men in the house. They’re never outwardly rude or extreme about it, pushing you just enough to make it a punishment and an inconvenience without angering you.

It seems that, despite this golden opportunity, the impending elimination has not left their minds entirely. While you have to follow their every command, you ultimately will have the power tomorrow to punish them right back should they take things too far.

So you run back and forth, fetching snacks and drinks, folding Jin’s laundry, keeping count of Jungkook’s reps in the gym, washing the dishes after dinner for Yoongi.

The French maid outfit makes you feel stupid for the first few hours; the hem never sits below your ass properly, and the lace gets in the way. After a while, however, you tune it out, and take the time doing mundane tasks to observe the guys.

Jungkook and Hoseok spend the day pinned to each other’s sides, the former growing needy and clingy, Hoseok all too happy to indulge him. In the late afternoon, Taehyung goes over to Yoongi in the kitchen and questions him about the cooking process. Soon, Yoongi is patiently instructing him through every step of a basic spam fried rice with vegetables, the masseuse focused in until moments of triumph make him beam and cheer.

Jimin takes a nap outside soon after dinner, with the sun still keeping the air warm but mild under the shade of the patio. Namjoon, wandering around the house with a deck of flashcards, sees him and quietly tiptoes around the blue-haired man to drape a blanket over him. He remains close to the windows for an hour or two, keeping an eye on him until he wakes up.

Jin, who calls on you most during the day, is in a quiet mood. The comfortable kind of quiet where he’ll request your help on a simple job, and then take his time sitting with you, folding a single sock at a time to drag it out.

You don’t talk much together, but it’s nice to just be in his company. When you get sleepy, he commands you go upstairs and chill out for a bit, winking at you fondly as you go.

If you take advantage of the command to stay locked away for the rest of the night to avoid more demands, nobody interrupts you. Instead, you have a long bath early on and lay in bed, winding down after a strange weekend. Both yesterday and today have blurred together in your mind because of your early morning trip to Sejin’s van, and the upcoming meeting feels both overdue and premature.

You scroll on Twitter for a bit, comforted to see that the public consensus seems to be as divided as you are on who to eliminate, and it’s jarring to see clips of yourself and the others from alien angles posted for all to see. Knowing you’re being filmed is one thing, but it becomes easy to mentally sideline, and seeing compromising videos and images of yourself with the guys takes you a moment to process and get used to.

You spend longer than you’d like to admit curled up under the blanket, reading through opinions of viewers, some incoherent keysmashes and others length threads analysing your every interaction. You see some focusing on the moments shared between two or three specific guys, others that are centered around you and one other of them. Countless accounts seem to be made for or at least themed exclusively around the show you’re on, and you go down a rabbit hole until you feel even more confused than you were before you investigated.

Though it may be foolish, you set your alarm for tomorrow and decide it isn’t a decision you have to make for another few hours at least. Monday Y/n can deal with that choice. Sunday Y/n is fighting a yawn every minute, and you figure it’s best to just give in, settling in for a long night’s sleep.

--

VOTE VOTE VOTE this is the funnest time in tgm !

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Hawaiian Symbolism, Morgan, TWD Food Videos, and Emily Being in Savannah

More symbolism and SM convos:

@galadrieljones:

Norman did post something the other day, two young actors who are clearly involved in the spin-off, as they were dressed in like ragged apocalypse clothes. One of them was playing and singing Wonderwall by Oasis on a ukulele and looked a little like that actor.

@wdway:

Ummm, Daryl saw a ukulele in the subway tunnel in Acheron Part 2.

@galadrieljones:

Okay just so much TWD stuff on insta today. They’ve been making these cute little promotional videos by AMC that have humorous themes. Todays was “famous food from the walking dead.” Lots of funny things like Dwight’s club sandwich, Carol’s cookies, Jerry’s cobbler, Negan’s spaghetti, etc. Also featured are Daryl’s snake jerky, with Beth yet again featured saying the line (“Enjoy you snake jerky…”) and also featured was White Trash Brunch from Alone. So much Beth love.

She is the only character to be shown in two different famous food scenes !

True!! The Hawaii reference. Dales RV is like full of Hawaii references, too. Hmm.

Also the Hawaiian dancer on the dash of Isobel’s helicopter? Am I remembering that right?

Or no, the van, the MRAP, has a Hawaiian dancer on the dash.

@wdway:

The hula dancer and also with a ukulele there was a sign saying aloha.

@galadrieljones:

Something important here for sure. Definitely a link to the CRM.

@wdway:

Tarah, what things in Dale's RV that were Hawaiian references?

@galadrieljones:

Trying to find my screenshots!

What Lies Ahead

@wdway

Am I correct in what you said about the food that there were two favorite food clips from Daryl both included Beth?

@galadrieljones:

Yes you are! Snake jerky and white trash brunch.

Here’s a link to the reel! Idk if you can watch without an acct but you can try https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoIom-RPdbp/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

@wdway:

I never noticed. I love that they're all Beth colors.

Thanks for the link I was able to watch. That's so cool. It's as if they want us to associate Daryl with Beth.

@galadrieljones:

Right I was trying to think of other Daryl foods. The peanut butter in Dwight’s room at the sanctuary came to mind. Ofc that’s a callback to white trash brunch.

@wdway:

Definitely or a reminder again of Beth since she's the one in Alone that took the peanut butter.

@galadrieljones:

It’s so devastating. Hearts Still Beating is such a major moment of descent for Daryl. How they corrupt the peanut butter, a Beth symbol, to show how he doesn’t enjoy it. He’s just like shoving it in his mouth for survival. He then kills that guy in cold blood. Peanut butter is also a Morgan thing. Why is he so connected to Beth??

@wdway:

Morgan is definitely connected to Beth. I've always thought he found her when she was left in the car after Grady. But that's a very long ramble that's been rambled many times, haha.

@galadrieljones:

That would definitely be cool. I also feel it means he could see her first, recognize her. Morgan is often seen around arrows and traffic signs. I know I’m a broken record but I see him as a navigator. Like someone to follow closely. He knows the way. I read some of the old theories about how he had gurneys at his hideout.

That maybe he knew about Grady or had heard something about it. Like maybe he and Dwayne were trying to get there. Maybe he was near Atlanta when he found her. Afterward he ended up at Terminus, followed the carvings to the church. I can’t remember if there’s any indication as to where Eastman lives. The woods between Macon and Atlanta seem endless.

It’s always been interesting to me that he encounters Daryl first when he gets to Virginia.

Oh and per Morgan’s arrows, twice they are specifically yellow. There are arrows with yellow fletching in Clear and a big yellow arrow in Eastman’s house. He’s also seen in front of yellow traffic arrows in Good Out Here, the episode of Fear where Nick Clark dies. It’s maybe a yellow brick road reference. But I think it also is meant to conjure out memories of Beth, who wore yellow. Daryl is also seen with the arrows with yellow fletching. They’re at his house in Alexandria near his work bench.

Sorry I said twice above but it’s really three times lol.

@wdway:

It's funny that you see Morgan as a Navigator. I have always thought of him as a prophet which is very similar if you think about it. I just have always felt that there's too many hints around Morgan that relate to Beth that there has to be some type of connection.

I was just thinking the other night with the announcement that this is the last season of Fear and how this is also the first season that they filmed in Savannah, Georgia and how we saw that posting of Beth excuse me Emily taken in Savannah. She said she was in Savannah at a wedding. In the picture she was wearing the same top that she wore on TTD the first time of the two times that she was a guest for s11. We know how she loves to tell us exactly where she is. Unless she doesn't want us to know where she is. I guess all these little things laid up to I really am looking forward to Fear and what it might reveal.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Same! It would be SOO cool if she showed up in Fear. EVERYone would then tune into the Daryl spin-off bc we would know she was alive but also would know that Daryl doesn’t. That would be awesome!

@galadrieljones:

I also love Morgan as a prophet. With all his breaking the fourth wall instances, he’s like a prophet to tptb. Through a Biblical lens I see him as the prophet Jonah, the original Christ archetype who tried to avoid his responsibilities and ended up being caught in a storm and swallowed by a whale.

Also I agree with you both about Fear. I almost feel it would be too good to be true if she showed up there.

But like I can’t forget how she was in Savannah. And she was wearing that sweater. I remember too it was weird because she posted herself in Savannah, then like a week later she posted herself in a cute dress for her hallmark movie promo tour.

She mentioned specifically she got the dress in Savannah where she had been for a wedding. It just felt weird like that maybe someone had said something, like be careful ppl will pick up on the fact you were in Savannah. And so she felt the need to say why she was there. She never said why she was in Montreal for example. She posts herself in a lot of locations with no explanation. So why Savannah?

@wdway:

I have had the exact same thoughts about Emily mentioning Savannah. It just seem so purposeful of a explanation of why she was where she was when normally she might state where she is without an explanation as you mentioned about her being in Montreal. It almost felt like it was over thought about. How people might realize that she was in Savannah at the same time as Fear was filming and think it was a bit of a coincidence.

It's like someone loudly saying "don't look, don't look" which only makes you look more closely. The other coincidence was in the picture she is wearing the TTD sweater. I don't remember anyone mentioning that she had worn it in many pictures from other locations. Just a lot of litte odd things that makes a person wonder.

Speaking of wondering has there been any more mention of Montreal and what she was working on?

@galadrieljones:

Agreed!! Also per Montreal, there’s been no mention specifically. However she has a new hallmark movie coming out, and I am wondering if that was it.

[astralsweetness]

hellooo, i am here to annoy you a little bit with the suju ask game 💙

1, 11, 12, 42, 70, 99, and 100? spill all the details, and add anything you want, i'd love to know :3

This is referring to this post. Yeah sure! Absolutely not annoying me at all, it's fun! I wish more people would talk to me about Suju :( Put beneath a read more cut bcs it will probably be long haha

1. When did you become an ELF? This is sort of hard to quantify, bcs even now I'm not totally sure if I'd consider myself a hardcore enough fan to call myself an "ELF". I first got into Suju when they released Don't Don, bcs that was 100% my shit - rock/metal with a VIOLIN? And a pretty boy screaming??? Bro. So good. When Hangeng inevitably left though I sort of stopped paying attention to them closely - I felt like they were probably going to go through more difficulties and I didn't want to get attached. I kept an eye on Heechul though, bcs I have always loved his voice and tone, whether he's doing screamo in Don't Don or singing rock for M&D or astounding us with rock ballads with Kyunghoon. So if anything I guess I'm not technically an ELF but can classify myself as a Petal since I am definitely a fan of Heechul and always have been. I am only really getting back into them now, so I guess you could say I've been a baby-ELF since Don't Don era and have just never progressed out of that stage haha

11. Your ult bias? & 12. Your bias wrecker? So, @funkywinkyboy and I talked about this recently but I feel like with Suju there aren't ult biases or bias wreckers! I've decided there's a whole different classification for Suju:

The "first and forever bias"

The "they appeared out of nowhere and like a cancerous growth have irrevocably ruined me forever" bias

The "I don't even find them physically/mentally attractive and yet I am drawn to them like a moth to the fucking imploding sun" bias

And then "electron biases" that just float around forever as your little baby (plural) but are not aggravating enough to become the moth to the sun one but also make enough sense that they aren't the cancerous growth one

So if we're following my new classification system lol, Heechul is my first and forever bias, Hyukjae is the cancerous growth bias, Kyuhyun is my moth to the sun bias, and Donghae is my electron bias!

42. Sexiest song or performance? You had to see this coming, considering it's.. well, me, but Hyukjae's VCR from their STYLE tour where he has all the sex toys and bondage equipment and men in heels with floggers chaining him to a bed, etc. That VCR has a grip on my fucking soul. As a domme it is one of my favorite things in the world, and I like the opening performance he does as well, with the chains. You can see the VCR + intro I'm talking about here if you're interested. I am actually in the process of taking screenshots from that VCR and color-correcting them + unblurring them bcs I am so obsessed with it. I'll make one post with them later when I'm done lol, so not gonna add them here 👀 Just gotta keep an eye out for them when I'm done!

70. Funniest or most iconic SuJu moments? God, there's so many. Suju's comedic sense is absolutely phenomenal. Shindong in particular is great at really out of pocket comedic lines. Currently I think my favorite lil moments are Donghae's incessant "Hyukjae~" during their 'Bout You performances, or Leeteuk fighting for his life during No Other while trying to find the camera. Just lil cute things like that I like a lot. Honestly any of the energy of watching Heechul's solo MV behind the scenes too, they're all so unhinged, he just absolutely does not want to be seen as vulnerable and the mental gymnastics he will go through to avoid that is funny lol

99. If SuJu could do anything you wanted, what would you want them to do? (E.g, perform a song live, bring back a member, etc.) I miss Hangeng and Kibum 😭 And ofc Sungmin, but if he was wanted by the group to come back that would have already happened. I feel bad for Kibum bcs he really missed out on all the success Suju had, and Hangeng... just a shitty situation all around for him. I am glad he seems to still be on good terms with the boys tho, and is leading a happy life! Let's see, aside from that... I want SM to do SOMETHING with Zhoumi omg, he wants a Suju-M comeback, give him one :( I also would like a sub-unit with Heechul and Henry doing rock shit, so like.. M&D but with a violin. Obviously that won't ever happen since Henry left but.... pls give me more rock songs! And with violins! ...Man I miss M&D. Pls revive it Heechul, it was so good, I listen to your two albums on repeat still

100. Your favorite thing about SuJu? Burn the Floor? Lmao but seriously, I think my favorite thing about Suju is how they are clearly more than just an idol group. They were originally only supposed to be idols as a sort of back-up to augment their other skills in things like acting and comedy, and it really shows, bcs they excel at those things now too. I love my groups that are attached at the hip and have a close-knit bond that's more than a family, but something about Suju's realistic relationship with one another, where they've grown up and don't always see each other but still (for the most part) get along is nice. It's like being able to see the more realistic side of the industry while still keeping the rose-tinted glasses since they still like one another. You've got to have both to survive I guess - on the one hand you have a group like Pentagon, that will literally waste away into nothingness if they have to be apart from one another, and then on the other hand you've got a group like Suju who is like... I haven't seen one of our members for MONTHS now, I assume he's alive 😂

[let-me-luve-you]

I’m Proud of You

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: The reader is in the military and encourages Tom to take the role of Cherry. Now that the movie is coming out, everyone expresses how proud they are.

Warnings: Not too descriptive but mentions of ptsd and addiction, angst, supportive friends and family, talks of the movie Cherry, talks of military

A/N: Hey guys, this is so late and I’m sorry. Just been going through it a little bit but I’m okay. Thank you to those that reached out. I hope you enjoy this.

MASTERLIST       BUY ME A COFFEE     REDBUBBLE

When Tom was pulled aside by the Russo Brothers when he was filming End Game and was given the plot line of the movie Cherry, Tom immediately thought of you. You were his baby sister that served in the military. Tom was hesitant to take the role of an army medic that has PTSD and struggles with addiction. This character would hit home in a way.

You had been home leading to Tom leaving for Atlanta to film the final Avengers movie, but you left shortly after he did to go back on deployment. Tom was never fully calm when he knew you weren’t home. He constantly worried.

When the Russo’s came to him, they knew he would have to consider everything from career to personal. They knew you served your country. What they didn’t know was that you were already suffering from PTSD. Tom knew, which is why it took him all of filming to give them an answer.

One morning when Tom was talking to you, he mentioned the role and how he didn’t know if he should take it. It discussed heavy issues. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to bring it justice. You encouraged him to take the role. You told him you knew he could do the role. That he was an amazing actor. You included that doing this movie could help start a conversation about mental health and addiction within soldiers and veterans.

Tom remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Now the trailer is being released and he is starting the virtual press tour. You had just come home right before Christmas. Your Christmas present to your family was telling them you were retiring from the military. Tom was ecstatic at the news. He hated worrying about you when you were gone. He was constantly thinking that the next phone call he got was going to be his parents telling him you weren’t coming home.

A month later, you were currently staying with Tom until you found your own place. When Tom was sent the trailer to Cherry for him to post on his own social media the next day, he brought his computer to your room. He knocked on the door and opened it when he heard a quiet “come in.”

“Hey Y/N?” You looked up from your iPad when he spoke.

“Yeah?” You asked, confused.

“I have the trailer for Cherry. They just sent it over. Want to watch?” He asked hopefully. You could see the slight fear in his eyes, but you didn’t understand why.

“Sure.” You smiled at him and set your iPad on your night stand. Tom smiled back at you and sat down on the other side of the bed. He quickly made it full screen and hit play. He had already watched it so Tom watched you through the corner of his eye. He noticed that when it showed the war scenes, you tensed.

When the trailer was over, Tom slowly exited out and shut his computer screen. “What did you think? They are going to send over the movie this weekend. Figured me and you could make a movie night out of it with the whole family.”

“I liked it. You look like you did a good job so far. I can’t wait to watch it.” You smiled at him. Tom immediately knew you were putting on your fake smile.

“Everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yeah. I just…” You sighed and looked away from Tom. “Just still adjusting to everything. You know that I’m going to therapy, right?”

Tom shook his head, “No, I just thought you were going to mum’s and dad’s.”

“No. I’ve been going to therapy. I’m at three days a week right now. The nightmares are just too much to handle. Then I hear sounds during the day and it just flashes me back to there.”

“I’m sorry y/n/n. You know you can talk to me. I want you to know you can talk to me. No matter what time. I talked with veterans, I don’t know what you went through, but I know it wasn’t good. After playing this character, I don’t want to see that happen to you. Did they prescribe medicine?” He asked.

You shook your head.

“Okay. If they feel you need to, please let me know. I really, really don’t want you to go through addiction. I don’t even want to risk it for you to even get close to addiction.” He said seriously. You knew he was. You didn’t want the medicine anyways.

“I can’t wait to see the movie.” You said with a smile. “But can I ask if we can start it early? I already know, I’ll probably need to pause it and take a minute when it gets to those scenes.” You said. You didn’t even need to specify which ones. Tom knew already that watching the military scenes were going to be hard for you.

“Yeah. We can. And if you want it to be just us, that’s perfectly okay. I can watch it with everyone else the next night.” He said giving you options.

You shook your head to turn down the new option, “that’s okay. I can watch it with them. Just let them know I will need to pause it.” Tom smiled at you and nodded before kissing your head and getting off your bed. Tom left to go show everyone else the trailer. 

After he posted the trailer to his Instagram a few days later, positive comments started flooding his Instagram and Twitter. You scrolled through the comments from Harry, Haz, the Russo Brothers, and more people Tom knew and worked with and like all of them. You were so happy to see them support Tom. He had the right people in his corner.Next you saw a post from Tuwaine. First you scrolled through the photos. They were of Tom as Cherry throughout the different times in the characters life.

It’s funny, cos when I see bae do a role like this, I’m reminded again and again of how talented he truly is. I don’t think the world can look at you the same way once this is out.

He added that the trailer link was in his bio and you smiled. Not many people would do that, but Tuwaine has been one of Tom’s day 1s. You loved Tuwaine like a brother. You couldn’t ask for a better best friend for your brother.

You knew Tuwaine’s words were 100% correct. People saw Tom as a kid. They saw him like he is this sweet, innocent teenager like Peter Parker. He didn’t hate that, but he also hated being seen as a kid. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Spider-Man and he would love to play that character for the rest of his life, but he’s 24. He wanted to be taken seriously and no one takes a kid seriously.

You remember getting the selfie Tom sent to your phone when he was filming. You didn’t get it until you returned home, but he loved to text your phone when things happened so you could stay up to date with him. The selfie Tom sent you was when he was in Morocco. He was in all of his military gear. The text under it was,

I put this suit on and I feel like I’m an imposter. I feel like I don’t deserve to wear this. I’m just an actor, you are the real hero in this world. But when I feel like this, I remember what you told me. “If anyone can play this role, it’s you Tom. You have a connection to the military. You see what it can do to the family and friends around the soldier. You know what it has done to me. If anyone can bring this character to the screen and help start a conversation about PTSD and addiction, it’s you. I don’t know another actor that would take it seriously and give it 110%.” I hope this movie does start that conversation. I hope people see this character and realize the severity of it. Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Stay safe y/n/n. I love you.

You decided to post the picture he sent you plus a screenshot of the text. You wanted them to see Tom as Tom. You were so incredibly proud of him and you wanted the world to see that.

Tom, I honestly don’t know what words to say right now, you know I’m not good at them, but I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for going outside your comfort zone. You went into this movie to show people you can be more than the nerdy high school kid and to start a conversation. I read all the text you sent me when filming this. I know the hardships you went through. I cannot wait to watch Cherry with you to see all the hard work pay off. I already know you were absolutely amazing in it. I love you and I’m proud of you!

When Tom got the notification that he was tagged in a post by you, he smiled. He smiled even bigger seeing the photos you used and as he read the caption. He was the luckiest brother in the world to have a sister like you. He quickly comment thank you and love you with a kiss and heart emojis.

“Tom?” You asked as you walked into his room to see him lying on the bed.

“Yeah?” He questioned.

“I really am proud of you. Let’s go out for lunch. My treat.” You smiled. Tom got out of bed and walked to you.

“Thank you for pushing me to do this role. I’m really glad I did it.” He said and gave you a kiss on the head. “Now go get dressed, I’m paying.” He said with an arrogant tone and walked towards his bathroom. You left to get dressed while laughing. Knowing it was going to be a fight to see who actually paid for lunch.

[gralunaisland]

Last Update on the Sad Troll

I kept updating the post I'm reblogging because the situation kept changing, but I just wanted to update y'all and put this to a sort of rest!

The person who sent the asks as depicted in the post above?

They have been sending hateful, troll asks for 6 days now, totaling 50+ asks.

Really pathetic, isn't it? At least their no-life-ing of my blog is very amusing ^^.

I was going to make a post responding to most of the pertinent asks, but as they continued to send me asks for hours, I realized they just want to make me mad and get attention.

Out of curiosity, I turned off the anonymous option for my asks to see if they'd say anything. Unsurprisingly, the coward troll refrained from sending any more asks, when they'd been doing it daily.

Then after 2 days went by, they finally sent two laughable asks, one where they pretended to not be the troll, and the other where they sent gross pictures of gr///via and screenshots of a post saying that Japanese people have different political correctness than other places, trying to excuse gr///via's toxicity. They also essentially said "don't like, don't watch".

[One, I don't oppose gr///via because of "political correctness", I do it because it's objectively a toxic relationship.

Two, I love FT, and I don't love gr///via, but guess what? I'm allowed to watch it, enjoy it, and criticize it. If you don't have any criticisms, then you're not watching it closely enough because everything has flaws, and nothing is perfect.]

After so bravely sending these asks, they seemed to have immediately blocked me and changed their username, so that even my friend couldn't find them despite being logged out of their tumblr account.

Then I turned my anonymous back on for my followers, and I just knew that when I did, they would unblock me and crawl back into my inbox, and lo and behold, the troll is back, sending anonymous troll asks daily once more.

Here's a few fun facts about this troll:

She calls keeps calling herself "the queen of trolls".

She has admitted that her friend told her about me, so my suspicions seem to have been confirmed on the reason why this asker is attacking me.

She keeps insisting that she's not a Pro gr///vian fan.

She keeps saying haha you thought I was a bunch of Pros, or haha you thought I was a Pro myself, basically trying to insist that she "got me".

She keeps calling me a racist because I’m criticizing Hiro Mashima, who is of course Japanese.

She has called me the n-word.

All this, instead of making me upset, makes me feel sorry for this person.

You really don't have anything else to do with your life, Queen of Trolls? That is honestly sad, so you have my condolences. I hope this trolling gives you some sort of happiness.

You're actually so proud of this that you call yourself the queen of trolls? It's really unfortunate that you have nothing else in your life that gives you pride beyond harassing a real person on tumblr over a fictional character and/or because your friend told you to. I really hope you accomplish something someday that is a bit loftier than this. (I know you can do it! Do your best, buddy!)

You really think you fooled me? That's very funny, because even before I posted that first post, I could tell at the very least some of the asks were by the same person, because of you repeating yourself constantly, (for example, asking about my friend who runs a Graylu and Anti gr///via blog and thinking that you bullied her into deleting tumblr when she literally just blocked you lol) and also because of the terrible grammar. Those two things have been very consistent, so thanks for making it very obvious for me!

Also, the racist comment is quite frankly the most hysterical comment you’ve made, since I’m in fact Asian, but believe I’m racist if that makes you feel better!

All in all, I believe this is all the attention I'll give to them. I just wanted to update my followers on this situation and put the troll debacle to pasture.

To the troll, who undoubtedly stalks my page, salivating at the thought of me having a breakdown on tumblr or blowing my top at them, please continue to send your asks! Honestly, to be perfectly transparent with you, I share your asks with my friends, and we all have an amazing laugh thanks to you, so you're really doing me a favor. I look forward to them, and I look forward to the next ask you send me!

I hope this little bit of attention from little ol’ me gives you a thrill!

Also sorry to my followers who have to witness so much of the wrong kind of negativity on my blog. I do realize ignoring trolls is probably the right way to go about this because they want the attention and because they probably don’t mean the things they say, but I still wanted to address it.

Anyway, have an amazing day, everyone!

Life's way too short to be upset at trolls or to be a troll! :D

A Hilariously Low IQ Pro gr///vian Raid On My Blog

(The pictures make this post really long so I'll put them and my words below the "keep reading")

Oh my gosh guys 😂. I don’t look at tumblr for one second, and now I have a ton of hate asks!

This is legitimately hilarious!

Nothing like the toxic side of the Pro fandom shooting themselves in the foot by acting like actual toddlers over me disliking a fictional ship! ^^

But before I get to these funny asks, I have a post I’ve been working on that’ll set the stage for this—the prologue, if you will.

There’s a (very silly) reason I’ve been targeted, and it’s again so amusing.

I can’t wait to post it for y’all’s entertainment! Tumblr drama is always so interesting, isn’t it?

Have a wonderful day, everyone! Even the (specifically, not all) toxic Pros! I sure hope especially y’all can find some happiness outside of being big bad meanies on tumblr. (*´∀`*)

Edit: there’s a bunch of asks I’m getting as I type this that seem to be from the same disgruntled person lol. I think I’ll try to group those asks into one post because I feel like this person is trying to fill my blog with hate.

Edit 2: and if I just get duplicate hate asks (which I have been), I’ll probably just delete those. Not good content for me to keep responding to the same brain-dead message ^^!

Edit 3: change of plans: I’ll be screenshotting all the asks and making one mega post about it since it’s one person. Hope to post it soon!

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

~

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

[belleta]

The Forest - Part One

Consists: Supernatural, SKZ as different SN creatures, adventure, romance, drama, action, ......still trying to figure out all the details....lol XD

"Come on Y/N!", I was racing around the house. Trying to make sure I had everything for this trip. "Omg Y/N, let's GO~!" I swear to the universe she's going to thank me later. " I'm coming child!" I screamed back. Alrighty I just need my retainer. I bounded up the stairs and glided down the hallway with my cotton socks. Bursting into my room, I quickly scanned it for the sparkly emerald case. I caught sight of it out of the corner of my eye, "Boom!" I ran forward and snatched it off my windowsill. While leaping for my door, I paused and turned back to what I call my sanctuary. Call me paranoid but I'm kinda afraid of camping in the middle of the woods. Ever since I watched "The Blair Witch Project", I've been creeped.

It doesn't help that Jazzy forced us to watch the film, previous to this morning. I was drifting in the fairy floss clouds of my mind when a loud honk poured water on them. I sucked in a breath, blowing raspberries. Padding back over to my bedside, I grabbed my Ice Bear plushie. Giving it a quick squeeze and finally deciding that he's coming with me. Galloping back through the house, I made it out, locked the door and hopped in the back seat like a spring rabbit. "What took you so long?" I gazed up through my fringe at my girl bestie Jazmine. She had long beautiful honey blonde hair, and a mousy nose. Her blue eyes were alike with pebbles under a lake, with cheeks connected by a dash of light freckles. "I swear I just aged waiting for you" and Danny, our guy bestie. I've been best friends with Danny, since 3rd grade. Jazzy moved over during the 5th grade. All three of us have been with each other through thick and thin. Daniel was Hawaiian Japanese descent, had perfect colorful nails and absolutely gorgeous eye makeup. We were all dressed in casual, comfy clothes for the trip. Jazmine, or Jazzy as people call her, as the oldest. She was driving Danny's dad's truck. It was spacious and definitely was fit for the environment. Danny, second eldest was in shotgun and I, being the "baby", was in the back. "I was just making sure I have everything." The two rolled their eyes. Danny looked back at me "Girl, you need to chill. We've got everything and more" the boy stated. "I know, I know.....I'm just paranoid, you know.....being in the woods for a week" I looked down at my feet and played with my fingers to cover my embarressedness. "Awww, is the baby scared", Jazzy giggled, imitating a child. I swatted at her, "Let's just...finally go" I grumbled, reaching inside my bag to pull out my headphones. "Fine" they answered teasingly. While Jazzy was pulling out, I fastened myself and slid my headphones on. Bluetoothing them and unlocking my phone, I scrolled through my YouTube Music playlist finding the one named 'Bell Mix'. After that, I went back to the truffula trees and fairy floss. Just listening to my music and thinking about things. There were a couple times, where I thought I might get sick, but I had remembered my motion sickness bracelets. In your face! It's better to set out a little later, rather than having our vehicle reeking of my insides. 2 or 3 hours went by, or something. I'm not really sure, my brain doesn't really have a sense of time when I'm inside of it. We stopped to use the bathroom, get food and fuel at a gas station, maybe 2 hours away from the forest. "Can I, can I, can I, can I PLEASE?!?" I had been begging Jazzy to let me buy a bag of Haribo for 10 minutes now, and she was starting to break. I'm very persuasive as you find out, and I happen to be a very prominent weakness to many throughout my life. She finally gave in and I bounced away to the candy isle with glee and happily picked out a bag, promising to share. Jazzy just rolled her eyes and paid for our things. We trotted back to the car and continued our journey. It was nearing the end of 2pm when we finally arrived at the edge of the forest. It's lushes were absolutely perfectly splendid. The road continued for a hot minute, until it gave away to dirt and rocks. We didn't want to stray too far from the dirt road, so we slowly kept moving in until I suddenly exclaimed at the sight of a pretty little clearing. It had a few little bushes marking the edges, thick but soft looking grass, and a little dirt patch at one side that should be perfect for a firepit. We pulled over to take a look around, flattening a few bushes in the process. As soon as the truck came to a stop I shoved the door open and sprung down onto the flourishing forest floor. The first thing I did was take a deep breath to soak in the sweet scent of the untouched earth. I reached up, stretching and cracking a few of my bones in the process. Then I raced through the trees and undergrowth, toward the beautiful glade. It felt so nice to get away from civilization, I had always loved

getting away like this. Being able to recharge away from annoying people and sounds, my fears of the night were long forgotten. I was two steps away from the grass when I suddenly tripped over something. Tumbling forward and scratching my cheek. I landed on my face, but on the bright side it was luckily with no rocks around. The dirt however spared me at nothing, crawling into my fresh scrapes, was a sharp and quick stinging as I grabbed my face. "Seriously Y/N, we haven't even completely left the car yet and you've already managed to hurt yourself" Jazzy declared. Danny chimed in, "Did you hurt yourself at all?". Quickly inspecting myself, I responded "Yes, a tiny bit on my cheek, hands and knees", I could hear them muttering to themselves about how reckless I was sometimes. They started toward me and as I waited for them to catch up, I decided to look around and figure out where to put things for these next few days. While ogling the decently wide stretch that was conveniently shielded by a mighty sugar maple. I thought I saw something in the undergrowth a few meters away from me. I grabbed my glasses and narrowed my eyes, but right when I thought I saw whatever it was, two flashes shot in the opposite direction between the ferns and disappeared. They were kinda hidden but I could sorta make out one of the shapes was darker and slightly bigger. The other was a little bit easier but still was difficult, it was kinda brown, or maybe reddish? At that moment I felt two hands on my shoulders, "Let me see", it was Jazzy. She inspected my injury. "It'll be fine, just wash it off", "Okie-Dokie-Artichokie", she laughed and ruffled my hair. I gazed back at where I saw the two shapes but not even the bushes were still moving. "Hey!" I cocked my head back to the voice "Can you help me?" Danny was struggling to unpack from the back. "Sure thing Danny-O" I quickly stood up, maybe a little too quick. My vision went funny and I almost stumbled. "Oh my god Y/N! Be careful!" Jazzy scolded, "My bad!" I was a little all over the place at the moment. Finally we were on this trip! I mean, I waited 6 months for this and it's finally here! I'm not all childish, I'm actually very 4D. I'm just really excited okay? I more carefully walked back to the truck, where Danny was struggling to keep ahold of what appeared to be the tent. Over the course of the next hour and a half we set up everything. Goofing around and laughing. Danny had been pulling too hard on our sleeping bags, to wedge them out of the trunk. And had accidentally fallen onto the slightly wet dirt, causing a very prominent brown streak across his gray sweatpants and sky blue tie dye hoodie. I was currently on my way to find the stream that is supposably close by, with a screenshot of google maps and a compass. Service wasn't exactly a 5 star out here, but I didn't mind too much. I brought a portable WiFi router with me, so if Jason Vorhees just decided to pull one, we could call for help. Every so often I would hang a wooden heart ornament on one of the tree's branches, so if this was the correct way then we would never get lost. Also so that I didn't get lost right now. I had been making these last night, for these exact reasons. I swear only dumb people don't mark their surroundings, this is one of the main reasons why people disappear and are never found or get lost. There are no traces of where they've been, like these fruit loops really-...... After about another 20 meters I started hearing the sounds of water. It became louder and louder really quickly. Is there a waterfall here? I pondered, while quickening my pace with curiosity. 35 seconds later I came across a thinning in the trees and beyond a clear water stream. I finally broke out of the shelter provided from the thick leaves, the sun kissed my skin with it's warm touch. I looked around and sure enough, there was a small waterfall that looked straight out of a fairytale. It had multiple uneven levels, with smoothed boulders everywhere. And to top it all off, it had little water plants scattered around it. Absolutely

beautiful.... I scanned around and spotted a few giant boulders poking into the stream. I carefully picked my way over to them, clutching onto Danny's muddy clothes. Hopping onto the sunlight warmed stones, I positioned myself perfectly so that I could reach the water but wouldn't fall in. I reached into my pocket for my zip lock of natural soap, of course I didn't want to hurt this literally untouched land. I leaned down to dunk the fabric into the stream's crystal-like water and kneaded the brown smudge. It was decently cold, just perfect for a stream. I turned back to the small bag with a green bar wrapped with brown paper and a little herb decoration. I unzipped it and reached for a tiny hand towel I brought with me so that I would have a better grip on the soap, even if I got wet. After dunking the clothes in I took the bar of soap and swiped it all over. I dipped it into the water once to help the bubble come, then I started aggressively rubbing it. Once the outfit was foaming with suds, I slapped it into the brook. Holding onto the sleeve I rub it harshly all over to get the stains out. It was relatively still easy because the events of cause were only moments before. I was starting to disappear into my thoughts, getting deeper and deeper and deeper....... And just then a crash and from the trees, followed by snarls and barks. I was so lost in my thought that this jolted me into the canal. The water suddenly became ice cold, my scream had been washed away. A surge of water filled my lungs from the way my mouth was open to yelp. I could still hear the sounds of fighting every so often, when I would surface. My head was hurting, my skin was stinging and my lungs were screaming. Someone.....please help..... It was hurting so much, I was trying not to panic. So I could find the surface and get back to shore. I would break through it's crisp arctic clutches every so often and would cry out for help but then get cut off by the now frosty darkness. I was giving up to the stream and submitting to the coldness. Letting it swallow me whole. I was numb, I couldn't feel my body being thrown around anymore, Is this how my story ends? No! I don't want to! I still have things to do! I need to graduate, and find my passion! I need to find a man who will love me as much as I do! I need to birth young and care for them! I want to grow old with my partner happily! I can't die yet! I just can't! But it was just so cold. I had stopped moving violently, so I guess I had been poured into a lake or something. I didn't care anymore. My blood felt frozen, I couldn't even bend a finger. That's when I felt a force near me, it parted the waters. Moving me in a different direction with its power. Then not long after I felt something grab hold of me in an awkward way. I was starting to be pulled into another direction, as the water streamed around, parting to let me and whatever that was saving me through. Then I broke through the surface and that was the last thing I felt before slipping into a comfy unconsciousness.

[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track twelve

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Indy wondered why people in her life seemed to fixate on sunshine, as if it somehow fixed things. When she and Charlie were small and the sun was out, her parents were ushering them outside to get some fresh air, telling them it was good for them. Her first day of high school, when she was nauseous in the passenger seat at the thought of a new place with a new class schedule, her dad had said ‘at least it’s warm today’. The day of Nicole’s funeral, between the sympathetic smiles and awkward glances, Indy had lost count of the amount of people who commented on the beautiful sunshine outside that her mother wasn’t there to see. It grated on Indiana’s nerves, and she found herself enjoying the rainy days more in the years after her mother’s death, when the clouds were heavy and wet, booming with thunder she could feel shaking her floor. She sat at her windows and watched it fall, watched the world have to shift to accommodate a change in the sky, change in a way that it never did for her when she needed it to. 

The week before Bekah died, it rained every day. 

Monday marked seven days without treatment, and the effects were starting to show. Bekah had lost more weight, which Indy wasn’t even sure was possible. She kept her blankets on her at all times, the Christmas and Halloween ones layers on top of each other. 

She still shivered.

The rain fell outside the window, and Indy sat on the sill, thankful for the cold glass against her arm. It kept her in the moment, kept her mind in the room instead of in Los Angeles, wondering what was going through Grayson’s head that made him continue to ignore her calls. She didn’t have the energy to be pissed at him for leaving her abandoned - instead she was just worried, worried about the guilt she knew would overtake him when she finally was able to get ahold of him. 

Indiana’s schedule was PRN - meaning they only called her into the hospital when she was needed. She couldn’t tell if they actually did need her and were too nice to say, or if they were fully staffed, but they didn’t call her. Patrick had put his foot down with her hours at Jet’s too, and said he’d keep her on payroll as long as he could so she kept her benefits, but that he wasn’t putting her on the schedule either. 

So she put her skills to use for Bekah, and Bekah alone. Anything she needed, Indy knew where to get it on the floor. She funneled every ounce of energy into the girl in front of her, trying to take any of the burden off the Newcombs that she could. If Bekah needed ice chips, she was at the nurses station. In the supply closet to get fresh linens, the laundry to get clean hospital gowns. She helped her get changed, get showered as best she could - it was less mortifying for Bekah to have Indiana help her than her parents, who were nervous enough they would hurt her as it was. 

When Bekah was awake, she was trying. Putting on her brightest smile, doing her best to perk up for her parents and Indiana. But when her parents would leave, which wasn’t often - only to go get fresh clothes, or grab dinner in the cafe - Bekah would deflate. She’d sigh and lean back against her pillows and try to catch her breath. They went home that night to eat a real dinner with promises to bring some back for Bekah, and as soon as they kissed her goodbye, she relaxed back and closed her eyes. Indiana watched her for a moment, and reached out to hold her hand.

“It’s okay Beks. They know you’re tired, you’re allowed to show it.”

“Says you,” she muttered. “Haven’t seen you sleep since I went off meds.”

Indy swallowed. “I sleep when you sleep.”

“Liar.” 

“How do you feel?” She changed the subject.

“Like I’m dying.”

Indy choked, and Bekah laughed dryly. “C’mon, that was a good one. And don’t say it isn’t, cause you know I’m right.” 

It took all of Indy’s strength not to try to coat it all in some toxic positivity, tell her it wasn’t that bad, that she would feel better, that she would get better - the things she’d been telling her all the years she’d known her. 

They weren’t true, and she had to be okay with that.

“I really do think it’ll be this week,” Bekah said, picking at balls of lint on her blanket. 

“Why do you think that?” Indy kept her tone as neutral as she could.

“I feel it. Feels… different. I want to go in my sleep, if I can. Think it’ll be easier for everyone that way. Is there a way to make that happen?” 

Indy put on her hospital smile. “That’s usually how it goes babe, when you let someone go naturally. Your body gets tired, and you sleep, and then you go.”

She pondered on that for a moment, sat with it, and then she nodded, firm and confident.

“Okay. Good. That’ll be good.”

Indy hoped that one day she could have half the bravery of the girl sitting in front of her, with her thin arms and her purple head scarf, her small smile and stern gaze. 

“Can we have milkshakes? And watch some of Grayson’s videos before my parents get back?”

Indy swallowed. “Of course. I’ll go get them, you rest.”

She was glad she could pull strings - the kitchen was usually closed to requests after dinner, but Daniel downstairs was always nice when she called. Sure enough, by the time she’d swiped through all the doors and made it to the kitchen, he had two vanilla milkshakes with extra whipped cream, and sprinkles on Bekah’s. 

“Thanks D!” 

“You’re welcome other D,” Daniel smiled. The hole in Indy’s chest rubbed raw, and she turned quickly before he could think he did something wrong. She breathed, timed her inhales with her steps as she traversed the halls.

It didn’t help, because when she walked into Bekah’s room she heard him.

Only this time, we’re getting sinus surgery

“Ooo, sprinkles!” Beks smiled and reached out a hand, waiting for Indy to pass her the milkshake. 

She did, and she settled next to her on the bed with her own, leaning just far enough back so that Bekah couldn’t see her face.

The videos were always harder. He was still all over her social media, pictures and screenshots and people tagging the two of them on tea pages. He was still in her phone too - the outgoing calls, the photos in her camera roll. But the videos were the worst, because it was him. His mannerisms, his eyebrows that curved when he talked, his tongue that peeked through his smile when he laughed just hard enough. 

She watched anyways, let the ache fester and make her feel something. She stared at his sunburnt nose, and listened to him talk about his once deviated septum that they didn’t actually fix - he still snored loud enough to wake her up some nights. She missed it. 

Bekah laughed at every funny comment the boys made under their anesthesia in the video, and it was music to Indy’s ears, heartwarming enough for her to be able to stomach watching. By 15 minutes in, Bekah had abandoned her milkshake, the whipped cream dissolving down into the ice cream as her head lulled onto Indy’s shoulder and she fell asleep. 

With a shaky hand, Indy checked her pulse. 

Slow, but steady. 

She turned off the TV.

In California, the fight didn’t start until Tuesday night. The house had been full of tension for almost a week, and the usual LA sunshine didn’t help to lighten the mood.

Grayson had become a recluse. He’d fallen back on the earlier method of locking his phone in a box in an attempt to save his sanity, which was even more fragile from the doom scrolling he’d found himself doing as people speculated every single detail of his life online. The black metal cube sat on a table in the living room, and he only saw it on the few occasions that he ventured out to the kitchen for food. 

Even in his limited excursions, he felt the awkward energy radiating from his twin and Eden. They’d had their spats in the past, just like any couple, but there was something different about this one that had Grayson glad he was out of the room when Eden finally cleared her throat and looked at her boyfriend.

“Are we gonna talk about this?”

Ethan picked at a scab on his forearm - he’d been longboarding again as an excuse to get out of the house. 

“Talk about what?”

“Talk about why we aren’t talking,” she huffed. “You’re mad at me.” 

“Correct,” Ethan said. 

“Tell me why then.”

He looked at her incredulously. “You have to ask?” 

Eden swallowed down her anger, knowing it wouldn’t help anything. She waited. They sat in stalemate for a moment and she watched it boil up in Ethan before he sighed and turned in his chair towards her.

“Being hateful to me when you’re upset is one thing, because I signed up for that. But to my brother? When he’s doing pretty much as bad as I’ve ever seen him? Not okay. At all.” 

“Ethan-”

“And I’m all for the tough love approach or whatever, but that was fucked up. He was just starting to do a little bit better and now look at him.” 

“Better? You thought that was better?” 

“He was eating at least, and still trying to work a little bit. Now, he’s barely able to do the podcast, much less anything else.”

“You all were already going to cut the main channel, that’s not because of this,” she argued.

“I’m talking everything else Eden. The businesses. Figuring out what the fuck we’re gonna do. He said the other day we could split time between here and Jersey, which really means here and New York if we only do the podcast.”

“And he didn’t think of that as an option before he broke up with Indiana? Makes sense.”

Ethan ignored her and kept going.

“At least he’s thinking about the future, which is better than before. I need him. But I need him, and you yelling at him set him back to square one.”

“If you thought he was even close to out of square one you’re blind.”

“Don’t act like you know my fucking twin better than I do,” Ethan snapped, and if it wasn’t for the protective nature in his tone, Eden would have lost it. 

“Ethan.” She waited until he looked up at her, and she saw some of the anger leave his eyes when they met her. “He wasn’t getting better, because he was holding on. Fuck, he still is!”

“Telling him to let go isn’t going to make him let go! Have you met him? He’s the most stubborn fucking person on the face of this fucking earth! He already wants to go back, he’s not gonna let go!”

She could think of one person that could rival him for the title, but she kept it to herself. 

“He’ll do it if he thinks he’s doing it for her,” Eden explained. “Don’t you see that? That’s why he did all of this. In his head, somehow, he thinks he’s doing what’s best for Indy. But he fucked her over, royally.”

“He knows that,” Ethan said. 

“Okay, great! But he has to let go of her, because she won’t. Indy is an optimist if I’ve ever fucking met one, and she will always hope that he’s gonna come back, so he can’t do anything to feed into it. That’s torture, for both of them. And they both deserve better than that.”

Ethan couldn’t find a grip hold for an argument - one of the many reasons he hated arguing with Eden. So he sat in silence for a moment and accepted his defeat.

“You didn’t have to call him a moron,” he added.

“Anyone who let’s Indiana Cross slip through their fingers is a moron,” she muttered, shoulders relaxing as she realized the fight was over. “But yeah, that was probably a little harsh. I’ll apologize for that one.” She sighed, glad that everything was out on the table for the time being, smiling when Ethan patted his thigh once for her to sit on. She climbed up and nuzzled into his neck - she’d missed being so close to him the last few days. She soaked in the moment, running her fingers over the neck of his henley. 

“Is it weird that I miss her? I mean, I know I haven’t known her very long, but she really felt like part of the family.”

“I miss her too,” Ethan sighed, pressing a kiss to Eden’s temple. 

She pondered her apology to Grayson as she relaxed into his arms, but it was futile.

Grayson had been listening, standing in the hallway outside his door.  

There were no tears; just an overwhelming numbness that had settled over him in the last few days. Eden’s words were the final nail in the coffin - he couldn’t reach out to Indy, though it got more and more tempting each day. He’d promised not to hurt her more than he already had, and he was going to stick to his word. Someone important had taught him that. 

He retreated to his room and sat on the edge of the bed before he spoke. 

“Hey dad.” 

He always waited, just for a moment. Just in case. The silence was always loud, but it was deafening as he curled in on himself, staring down at the grains of wood in the floor.

“Dad I think I really fucked up this time,” he whispered. He willed the tears, but they didn’t come, though his eyes still burned. “I wish you were here. I wish you could have met her.” 

As he sat, he remembered what his dad had said in those last few days, in the few hours that he was awake, when he fought off the pain and the fatigue to be there for his kids and his wife. I’ll always be there, you can always talk to me. Just say whatever you would if I was right there beside you, cause I will be.

So he did. He spoke as if he could feel the weight of his dad on the bed beside him, feel his arm around his shoulder. 

Grayson sat on the edge of his bed and told Sean everything about the girl that he still loved. Her intelligence, her laugh, her smile, the way he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to love someone else. He lost track of how long he talked, run on sentences and gestures that only made it more obvious that his dad wasn’t there to tell him to slow down and take a breath before he talked himself into a pump from his inhaler. When he ran out of words, he did the only thing he knew to do when all else went wrong; turned his shower on as hot as he could stand it, sat down on the bench so the water ran over him, and thought of Indy. 

The storm rolled into the city on Wednesday - unprecedented and angry, snarling the clouds in swirls of dark, heavy gray and dumping down over the skyscrapers of New York. 

Indiana was watching the monitors. Her eyes jumped with each pulse of Bekah’s heart, which was beating faster than her usual. Her blood pressure was low, her breathing more irregular. Indy could see the textbook page in her head - actively dying. She’d learned the vital signs to look for, and how to fix them, what medicines to push. 

But she wasn’t supposed to be making Bekah better, and that was the hardest part.

Thunder shook the room, and Bekah shivered. Mrs. Newcomb wrung her hands, and her husband ran a hand along her shoulders. 

“She hasn’t woken up all day,” she murmured. 

“She’s resting baby, it’s okay.” 

Bekah’s monitors began to beep a bit faster. Her heart rate slowly rose - 82, then 85, then 90. Indy watched, her nerves prickling, eyes darting to the clipboard at the end of her bed, with DNR in bright red block letters - do not resuscitate. Bekah whimpered, her head turning into her pillow as her breathing got quicker, her heart working in overtime to try to keep her body afloat.

Mrs. Newcomb rushed to her daughter’s side, running a hand over her cheek as she began to cry.

“Bekah, sweetheart breathe, just breathe baby, don’t go yet, don’t go,” she pleaded, and Indy bit back her cries. Two nurses showed up in the doorway, waiting. There was nothing they could do but watch, and answer questions if they were asked.

Bekah’s father turned to the corner.

“Indiana, Indiana what’s happening to my baby?” He cried. It was enough to break Indy out of her trance, and she moved over to the bedside, resting a hand on Bekah’s leg. 

“Her body is trying to decide what to do. It’s tired, and with her blood pressure going down, her heart is work harder to move her blood around. That’s why it’s faster,” she explained. “She’s not in pain right now, her medicine should still be working. It probably just feels a bit scary.” 

Mr. Newcomb took her hand, and squeezed. Indy looked back to the monitors, unable to bear looking down at Bekah. She watched the blips on the monitor start to regulate again, sinus rhythm reappearing, allowing both of them to breathe easier. Bekah groaned a bit and settled into her covers, and a broken sob made its way out of Mrs. Newcomb’s throat. 

“I need a minute,” she said, and then she was headed for the door with a hand over her mouth. It was the second time she was sick that day. Mr. Newcomb took her to the cafeteria to get a Sprite, and Indy took her usual spot, perched on the edge of Bekah’s bed. She took her hand, tensing a bit with how cold it was. She rubbed it, bringing it up to her lips to blow warmth into her palm as best she could.

Bekah stirred, and her eyes opened for the first time in many hours.

“Hey,” Indy said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

“What was all that noise?” Bekah’s voice was croaky, but she shook her head when Indy offered her a drink of water.

“Your monitors. They’re loud aren’t they?”

“Yeah. Annoying as hell,” she mumbled, then opened her eyes a bit wider, scanning the room for her mother. 

“Language,” Indy teased. 

“Why were they going off?” 

It took all of Indy’s strength not to lie.

“Your heart rate picked up because your blood pressure went down. That’s something that happens…”

“Oh. It means it’s getting close isn’t it.”

Indy nodded and squeezed her hand. Bekah took a moment to process, and then she turned her head back to her friend.

“Is Grayson here yet?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Well, he better come soon if he wants to see me. Tell him to hurry, since I’m dying and shit.”

“Language,” Indy whispered it so her voice didn’t crack. Bekah played with the edge of her blanket.

“Am I supposed to be scared?”

“There’s no right or wrong way to be right now Beks. You just do what you need and feel how you feel, and we’ll be here the whole time, okay? We’re right here.” 

“You need to not be here,” Bekah said, and Indy’s breath caught in her throat. 

“Oh.”

“You need sleep, and a shower. I won’t die while you’re gone if I can help it. Promise.” She wrapped her pinky around Indy’s as best she could.

Before she could refuse, the Newcombs appeared back through the door, delighted to see their daughter awake. She sat up a bit straighter in bed and put on her best smile, Indy’s heart tightening at the sight. 

“Go,” Bekah whispered through her smile. She squeezed her hand one more time, and then let go, walking up to Mrs. Newcomb.

“I’m gonna go get freshened up and grab some clean clothes, but will you text me if anything changes? I live right down the street, so I can be back here really quick,” she explained, trying to ignore the growing look of pity in her eyes. 

“Of course dear. But you go home for the night, we’ll be alright. I’ll call you if anything changes, you need your rest. You’ve been here so long, have a night of normalcy at home and come back fresh tomorrow, okay?”

Indy nodded - it was all she could do. She blew Bekah a kiss and walked out the door, pausing when she noticed something had changed. 

A small blue heart had been placed by her room number - a signal that made Indy’s heart sink. Bekah was officially dying, and it was there for every nurse and visitor on the unit to see, to signify they needed to respect privacy and be quiet when they were close by. 

It made no sense, for that to be her breaking point. She’d known. She’d seen it, in her vitals and her demeanor and the fact that just their conversation was enough to have her ready to sleep for another 8 hours. 

But that little blue heart was her undoing, and she clutched her chest for the entire walk out of the hospital, down the stairs and out into the pouring rain. The thought of her empty apartment, with no Grayson and no Charlie and no Devin was too much - instead, she found herself running down the sidewalk past the lobby to the parking garage, shoes sloshing with water by the time she made it under the concrete. 

The valet didn’t ask questions when she passed over her key, shivering as she waited for him to bring her car out. As soon as she climbed in she hit the gas, ready to drive somewhere, anywhere, that wasn’t her home. The road was blurry despite the rapid back and forth of her windshield wipers, but she trudged on, just coherent enough to keep her tires between the white lines as she fled the city. The river was swollen when she drove over the bridge into Jersey, and she let herself zone out, let her mind take her wherever it wanted to go. 

She knew where she would end up.

The crunch of gravel was familiar under her tires when she turned off the winding road. It was a comforting sound, though it was muffled by the rain, and it wasn’t until she was close enough to the white house to see that the kitchen light was on that she realized what she was doing.

She put the car in park, ready to shift it to reverse until a small figure appeared on the front porch, waving her inside. 

Her earlier words rang in her ears. My door is always open.

She hoped it was true as she flung her car door open and bolted for the protection of the porch. 

Lisa was waiting for her, standing in her pajamas with worry written all over her face.

“Indiana? Sweetheart, are you okay?”

All Indy could do was sob. She hated it, and the voice in her head berated her over and over, reminded her she had no place there anymore, that she was putting Lisa in a terrible position. But the feeling of a mother’s arms around her wasn’t something she could fight against, and she crumpled into her and let herself be held. 

“Shhh. Shhh, you’re okay,” she hummed, running a hand over Indy’s blonde hair that was soaking wet. “Let’s get you inside and get warmed up.”

Indy let herself be led in, shoulders relaxing a bit at the familiarity of where she was until she spotted Grayson’s work boots in the corner and recoiled back. Lisa sat her down in a chair in the kitchen and squatted down until they were eye level.

“Are you hurt?”

Indy shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Is everything okay?” Her tone gave away that she already knew the answer, but Indy shook her head again anyways. Lisa patted her leg and sighed quietly, reaching up to brush some of her hair back.

“Does Grayson know you’re here?”

The squeak that escaped Indy’s lips was the only warning before she let out a sob so loud that Gizmo yelled in shock. 

“I’m s-s-s-orry,” she choked, crumpling with her face in her hands.

“No, no no shhh, it’s okay sweetheart. It’s alright, you’re okay.” Lisa pulled her to her as best she could, rocking just barely as she held her. 

“No, I shouldn’t have come, I don’t want to make things difficult for you with - him.” Indy couldn’t get herself to say his name and Lisa just shook her head. 

“Babe I told you that I would be here for you no matter what, and I meant it, okay? I won’t tell him you’re here unless I need to. You can stay as long as you need, you hear me?” She used her thumbs to wipe at Indy’s tears, frowning at the dark circles she found.

“Sweetheart, when was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

Indy’s silence was enough. 

“Well, it’s late, and I think sleep is the first thing you need. We can talk tomorrow, but right now, you go up and climb into bed okay? They’re all made up, you can sleep wherever you’d like. Do you need anything, or do you remember where everything is.”

“I remember,” Indy whispered, taking in a shaky breath. “Thank you Li.”

“Of course. You’re a part of this family, always. Now, get some rest. You know where I am if you need me.”

She kissed her forehead and disappeared up the stairs. Indy wasn’t sure how long it took to get herself together and muster the energy to climb those same stairs, take a left into the room she’d been in so many times before. 

It still smelled a bit like him, and she couldn’t help but to take a few deep breaths, closing her eyes and pretending he was right there, sprawled out in bed with the blanket held up for her like the first time she’d slept over. It was the same blanket when she opened her eyes again, and the thought of climbing into it without him waiting for her made her sick to her stomach. She couldn’t look at the bed any longer, so she turned to the closet, sighing when she saw all the warm clothes that were far too much fabric for LA, even in the winter. It was almost unconscious, the way she found herself in front of his shirts, running her fingers over the various fabric until she landed on a familiar flannel. Checkered, with blue, white and black squares. Thick and warm, he’d worn it once when they went out to check on the progress of the tiny homes, and she’d woven her arms underneath it when she reached around him to hold on as he drove them through the trees. 

Before she could stop herself, she snatched it off the hanger and pushed her arms through the sleeves, eyes prickling at the realization that she felt close to him for the first time in weeks, yet he was still so far away. She retreated back to the bedroom, grabbing one of the pillows and carrying it downstairs, all the way to the couch in the living room. The blankets were still in the basket in the corner, and she grabbed her favorite one before she curled up under it on the cold leather, pulling the flannel fabric up around her chin and closing her eyes. 

In the kitchen, Gizmo turned on her perch and cocked her head.

“Dee,” she said, but Indiana was already asleep.

It was the best sleep she had in weeks - the peace of knowing that she wasn’t truly alone enough for her body to force her to catch up. Lisa was surprised to see her still curled up on the couch at 9:30 the next morning when she got ready for work as the rain continued outside. She watched her sleep for a few moments, heart tight at the way her eyebrows were still furrowed and her face buried in the collar of a shirt she was sure was her son’s. 

She didn’t know the details, but she knew Grayson well enough to put together the pieces. But she also knew he wouldn’t let Indiana suffer this much if he truly knew how she was doing. It had to be bad if Indiana even considered coming out to the house, and it gave Lisa a level of mom anxiety she hadn’t had since the boys had picked up longboarding again. She wondered how he’d let it go on so long in the first place, and after a moment of debating, she scribbled down a note for Indy, went out to her car as quietly as she could, and called her son. 

His phone sent her straight to voicemail. She tried again. Voicemail. With the third dial tone she couldn’t help the pit that grew in her stomach, an automatic mom reflex when your child is unreachable. 

Instead, she called Ethan. It rang four times and then she heard a muffled groan and rustling before his voice came through the line.

“Ma, it’s 6:30 in the morning,” he grumbled, voice raspy and dry. “You okay?”

“Why isn’t your brother answering his phone? Are you two okay?”

Ethan sighed, annoyed. “He’s fine Mom, he’s just doing a detox from his phone. People were being shitty. He’s asleep down the hall, not dead in a ditch somewhere,” Ethan chuckled. Lisa wasn’t amused.

“Well, wake him up and un-detox him. He needs to call Indiana. Now.” 

Ethan sat up in bed.

“Indy? Why, what’s wrong?”

“That’s for him to figure out. All I know is, she’s not doing well and he needs to call her. Now.” 

“What happened?”

“Just make sure he calls her, alright? I’ve gotta get to work, I love you.”

“Alright, love you too.”

As soon as he hung up, he was on his feet, rushing down the hallway and throwing Grayson’s door open. He ran to the edge of his bed, shaking his shoulder until he groaned and opened his eyes. 

“The fuck do you want,” he grumbled.

“You need to call Indiana, I just got off the phone with Ma. Something’s wrong.”

Grayson felt sick. 

“What happened? Is she safe, is she okay?”

“I don’t know, you just need to call her.”

“You don’t know? You don’t know? The fuck do you mean you don’t know Ethan?” Grayson was yelling, but he was on his feet as he spoke, headed down the hallway in search of the lock box. He rummaged through the kitchen drawer until he found the key, hands so shaky it took three tries to unlock the metal contraption. 

His phone was dead when he pulled it out, and it took all his willpower to keep from chucking it at the glass doors.

“Yours, give me yours.”

Ethan was a step ahead of him, already having Indiana’s contact pulled up. Grayson snatched it and hit the call button, heart pounding in his ears as he waited for her to answer.

Indy woke up to the buzzing of her phone against her arm where she’d tucked it the night before. Her eyes flew open - it must be Mrs. Newcomb, calling to tell her that Bekah had gotten worse. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes until she could read the name on her screen.

Ethan.

Her heart sank. She’d thought to call him more times than she wanted to admit, but she figured calling your ex's twin when said ex didn’t want to talk to you was crossing some moral line. Though as she sat on his mother’s couch, she figured it was time to get over the morals and do what she needed to do.

She swiped to answer. 

“Dee? Are you okay? Are you safe?”

She couldn’t breathe. Her mouth opened and closed again as she tried to find something to say to the only person she’d wanted to talk to in almost three weeks. She hadn’t had time to prep herself, to give her heart a warning.

“Baby talk to me, tell me you’re okay,” he pleaded, and the pain in his voice was enough to snap her out of it. 

“Grayson?” was all she could say.

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s wrong, are you hurt?”

“No, no I’m okay, I’m fine.”

Grayson took a breath for the first time since she picked up the phone. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure what to say, the panic dissipating and leaving his brain blank. Luckily, she spoke.

“I’ve been trying to call you,” she said. 

“I know. Indiana I’m sor-”

“It’s Beks.” 

His heart skipped a beat, and the silence rang in his ears as he clutched onto the back of the couch. Ethan, who had been eavesdropping from the kitchen, moved closer. Grayson waited for her to speak, to say it so he didn’t have to ask. 

“Is she-”

“No.” Indy’s voice broke. “But…”

“Oh god. Fuck. Fuck Indy.” His knees wobbled beneath him. 

“She isn’t in any pain, we’ve been keeping her comfortable. But it’s probably gonna be in the next few days,” she whispered between sniffles, her voice squeaky and small as she fought to get the words out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to have to tell you over the phone but... “ she trailed off. “She asked when you were coming to see her, and I didn’t know what to say.”

The tears were burning as they slid down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes closed, fighting the imagery of Bekah in her hospital bed, calling out for him.

“Indy-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to say so I just said you’d be there soon. If you can’t come she probably won’t remember, but I just wanted you to know, in case you wanted to be here. To see her, before…”

“I’m coming. I’ll be right there okay? I’m going to the airport now, I’ll be right there.” 

Indy was silent for a moment, her eyes flickering to the rain outside. 

“Fly safe. It’s storming here.”

“I will. I’ll see you soon okay? Just hold on, I’ll be there.” 

“Okay.”

That sat in silence for a moment until Indiana finally hung up.

“I’m going with you,” Ethan said. He didn’t need context - all he knew is his brother needed him. Grayson nodded once, passed him his phone and headed straight for his room. He packed blindly, throwing things into his suitcase without bothering to fold them, just desperate to get on the road to the airport and get back to New York. Ethan was two steps behind him when he finally made it to the door, his phone pressed to his ear as he tried to explain the situation as best he could to a very worried Eden. Grayson loaded the bags as Ethan climbed into the driver’s seat, leaving the charger open for Grayson’s still dead phone. Ethan practically peeled out of the driveway towards LAX, the cab filled with silence apart from the hum of the engine and the quiet sniffles from Gray when his phone turned back on and he saw all the missed texts and calls from Indiana who had been trying so desperately to reach him. The guilt made him queasy, and Ethan’s driving didn’t help as he hopped lanes and sped on, praying no cops were on the road. 

Grayson’s knee bounced impatiently as they waited in the line for parking, paying an astronomical amount seeing that they didn’t know when they would be back. Then they were running, dragging their bags behind them on the asphalt and beelining for the front desk. The attendants eyes went wide when they requested the next flight to New York at the exact same time. It wasn’t taking off for three more hours, much to their dismay, but they accepted it and headed towards security with their heads low and phones in hand.

The next flight doesn’t leave until around 10 but we’ll be on it. I’m sorry.

He watched the bubbles appear and disappear three times over, and then her response came.

nothing to be sorry for. I’m back at the hospital with her, she’s resting. I’ll keep you updated. the storm is still really bad here, please be careful

He wished he could reach out and hold her hand, ease her anxiety about his flight. He couldn’t imagine the emotion of that on top of everything else, so he said all he could think to.

I’ll be safe, and I’ll be there soon. 

He typed I love you and deleted it before he sent it. 

And then, it was a waiting game. The boys kept their hoods up and their heads down in hopes they wouldn’t be recognized. It seemed the universe was in their favor for the time being, no one bothering them while they waited, but it took a turn when their flight was delayed for weather not once, but twice, pushing their departure time to 2pm instead. He apologized again, agonizing over the thought of Indy sitting in the hospital by herself, but her response was the same.

she’s still resting, it’s okay. just be safe.

“We’re doing everything we can,” Ethan tried to reassure him, but he knew it was futile.

“I should have been there. I should have never left her in the first place Ethan, I’m an idiot.”

“You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. You told me she was getting better.”

He thought his brother was still talking about Bekah, and the queasiness returned. 

“She was.” 

They sat in silence as the hours crawled by. Ethan bought them lunch from a vegan salad shop down the terminal, even got his brother one of the protein coffee drinks he liked. Grayson picked at the lettuce and left it abandoned for his twin to finish. His only solace was his headphones that he kept pressed far into his ears with a constant stream of Cudi to keep him sane. After what felt like an eternity, they called for boarding. He texted her again to let her know he was on his way, and in a cruel play of the universe or whatever it was, Teleport 2 Me Jamie began to play. 

His eyes were blurry as he followed Ethan to their seats, climbing in by the window and readjusting his hood so it folded around his face as much as it could, hiding. Ethan leaned forward and acted like he was reading the SkyMagazine he found in the back of his seat, shielding his brother from view as best he could. 

They’d been on a flight like this before. January of 2019 - it had been raining that day too, but they had both been crying that day. So he stayed strong for his brother as best he could, got him a gingerale when the flight attendant passed by, and left Grayson alone. 

Indy wished someone would talk to her. She wished Bekah would wake up again - it had been hours of silence apart from the beeps of her monitor and the footsteps of the nurses outside the door. It was never truly silent in a hospital after all. But she was glad that she slept despite the loneliness. She hoped it would mean that she had energy for when Grayson made it to the hospital.

Grayson.

Her brain didn’t have the space to process that he would be there in the next six hours. His text that said he had boarded barely even registered in her mind, but her body was aware. Her anxiety picked up ten fold, her leg bouncing until it cramped, her lungs tight and fingernails bit down to the nail beds. The rain was relentless, as if the city were drowning already and it decided to add more for the fun of it, to watch the humans run around like ants in their multicolored raincoats. The universe was sick that way. 

Mr. Newcomb returned from the nurses station where he’d insisted on dropping off some cookies he’d bought at the store. He was quiet as he came into the room, eyes on his daughter until he finally peeled them away to look at Indy. 

“Do you think she’ll be asleep a little while longer? We were hoping to take some of her clothes home and wash them, so she has her choice from all her favorites for the next few days.”

“I think so. My… friend is coming later. Her other buddy, from the program. We’ll keep her company if you guys need to eat and get some sleep for a few hours. I can text you if anything changes.”

“I’ll see if I can convince Martina to get some shut eye I will,” he laughed, giving Indy a grateful smile and taking one more glance at his girl before he gathered her laundry and left. It only hit Indiana when he stepped out that she had never known Martina’s name until then. Bekah’s father was named Tarin, she knew that much. But she’d never even gotten to a first name basis with Martina. In all the years they’d known each other, and all the hours in hospital rooms and tears shared, she’d never been anything but Bekah’s mom to Indy. It wasn’t uncommon for Indiana to keep mom’s at an arm’s length from her. A protective mechanism she’d never consciously implemented, but it prevailed nonetheless. 

She wondered if Bekah would have wanted to be a mom someday. When she was 13 she’d insisted that men were trash and that she’d never get married even if she made it through all her cancer, but as she’d gotten a bit older she loved to talk about all her celebrity crushes. Indy looked in her side drawer and smiled when she found the little picture of Harry Styles she’d given her during her last round of treatment - she’d taken it with her to every room since. 

Indy paced the room, her anxiety to high to allow her to sit. She thought of Grayson on a plane somewhere, the metal tube rocking in the sky, cutting through the clouds. When she would get to the window she’d look up, hoping to see the lights from the wing of a plane somewhere, hoping it was his and that it was coming down safely. 

She paced for two more hours before her phone buzzed. 

Landed. I should be there in about 40. She still asleep?

Indy took in her first deep breath in hours.

yeah, she’s still out. I’ll meet you in the ocean hallway so you don’t have to buzz in, just text me when you’re close.

Will do.

Ma is picking us up so as soon as we get out we’ll head straight there

Ethan is with me but he’s just gonna go home with her for now

sounds good 

She didn’t have much to say, her stomach fluttering against her will. Her emotions were too unbalanced for her to even know what was happening. Excitement, and fear and grief and anxiety and anger and confusion, all at once somehow. She wrapped her arms around herself to try to hold it together and went back to pacing.

Grayson was soaked by the time he made it into Lisa’s car, scurrying into the backseat and barking out directions harsher than he meant to.

“I already have it in the GPS. Calm down,” Lisa said, giving Ethan a side eye in the passenger seat. 

“Sorry,” Grayson muttered, ringing his hands.

“S’alright babe,” Lisa sighed, reaching an arm back to pat his leg where she could reach. They drove in silence, listening to the rain smack against the roof and the windshield until Ethan spoke up.

“Did Indy call you? Is that how you knew something was wrong?” He asked Lisa. He hadn’t said anything, but he was worried too. 

Lisa debated it for a moment, and then she sighed. 

“She was upset, and she needed to get in touch with Grayson,” was all she said. “The rest of it, she can tell you.”

Gray didn’t have the energy to be annoyed. Every ounce he had was involved in the visuals flipping through his mind like a viewfinder; Indy in the ocean hallway, Bekah and her halloween blanket, the tiny homes, Indy’s tears in the airport. He hadn’t imagined that the next time he saw her would be like this. He wanted it to be different. Better. He wanted everything to be better. 

When they finally made it to the hospital, Lisa pulled to the curb and turned to her youngest son with a serious look.

“You take care of her, but you take care of you too, okay? I love you.”

Grayson’s nose burned and he nodded once before he ducked out into the rain. 

Indy stopped walking, and breathing, when her phone buzzed again. 

Here. Omw up

She liked the message, fixed Bekah’s blankets and headed out into the hallway and through the doors. The smiles of the marine life were haunting as she waited for any sign that he was close. 

Her head whipped up when she heard the familiar clammer of the far doors being pushed open.

He was wearing his yellow Cudi hoodie, but it was the wrong color. The fabric was darker than she remembered, darker than the picture she had of him in it, the one she’d taken in Jet’s once. It didn’t process that it was because it was wet until he was halfway down the hall. His hair was a bit longer than it had been, without Lisa there to trim it up. And his beard was full and scruffy and dark, hiding away his jaw line. She could still tell that his teeth were clenched though, his nerves palpable as he got closer and closer to her.

His shoe squeaked when he stopped in front of her. Neither of them breathed for a moment. They just stared at each other. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets to keep himself from hugging her, from crossing a boundary that he wished he’d never set. 

“Hi,” he said. 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Hey. How was your flight?”

“Long, but not too bumpy.”

Another painful beat of silence.

“How is she?”

“She’s still asleep, but we can wake her up. Meds are coming soon, just stuff to keep her comfortable. Her vitals are still okay, she’s just a bit groggy. But she’s excited to see you.” Indy offered him a small smile, and it had his knees ready to give out beneath him.

“And you? Are you okay?” He asked. 

Indy’s smile faded, and she looked at the jellyfish.

“That doesn’t matter right now. C’mon, let’s go see her.”

Indy used her badge to swipe into the door, but Grayson’s throat was too tight to ask her about it. Instead he just followed her down the familiar hallway, trying to avoid the looks of pity from the nurses who recognized him. 

Indy caught his wrist before he walked into the room.

“I didn’t… she doesn’t know about… us. I didn’t want to upset her, and it never really came up. I’m sorry,” she whispered. She sounded ashamed, but all Grayson could focus on was the feeling of her hand on his skin again, even if it was just a few fingers.

“Okay. That’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Indy walked into the room, the most hesitant that Grayson had ever seen her.

Beks looked cold. Even cuddled under her blankets she looked like she was freezing, and Grayson had trouble breathing. Indy went to the side of her bed, ran her thumb across her cheek and over to her shoulder where she squeezed gently.

“Beks, hey. Bekah,” she used her most gentle voice until the youngster stirred. “Someone’s here to see you.”

Grayson pulled it together in the last moment before Bekah opened her eyes.

“Earrings,” she sighed, a small smile on her lips. It was the most expression Indy had seen all day. “You made it.”

“Of course I did sweet girl,” he chuckled to hide his pain, moving beside Indy and crouching down so Bekah could see him easier. “Sorry it took me so long.”

“S’okay. We all know you’re slow,” she teased. “Hey, no tears. No crying in Bekah’s room.”

He hadn’t even realized he was until she said it, and he used his hoodie to wipe his eyes.

“Sorry Beks. Just missed you is all.”

“Yeah, well we missed you too. Did you convince my parents to go home?”

“Yeah,” Indy answered. “They’re getting some rest and bringing you some clean clothes.”

“Mmm, good. I think that black hoodie is a good one to die in,” she said, body shaking just barely with a laugh that turned into a cough.

“Pardon the death jokes, you’ll get used to them,” Bekah smiled at Grayson and the shock on his face once her throat cleared enough.

He thought of Sean, how he had pretended everything was fine until the very end, and he smiled. 

“Don’t you think a black death hoodie is a little on the nose?” He said, and Bekah laughed. It sounded the most like her real one since she’d been off her treatment, and it warmed Indy’s soul.

“Fair point. Maybe I should go with blue. You think someone will let me into heaven if I’m in blue or will I just blend in with the sky?”

“I don’t think anyone has to let you in,” Indy said with a laugh, crouching down next to Grayson. Their knees bumped together. “Pretty sure you just end up there.”

“I hope so. There’s no one there to find me anyways.” The playful edge was gone from her voice, and Grayson frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the first one. I mean, I guess my grandma is up there but I never knew her. Everybody always talks about how their family will be there, when they go.” She paused, taking a few deep breaths to get her energy back. She hadn’t talked so much in days, and her heart rate was rising from the exertion of it. The pair waited patiently, giving her the time she needed to finish her thought. 

“I don’t have anyone to die for, anybody waiting on me. I gotta find my way in there alone.”

The innocence of it was enough to rip Indy’s heart in half, and she couldn’t find the comforting words that she wanted to give. But Grayson cleared his throat.

“You won’t be alone. I know of at least two people who will be right there waiting for you.”

She perked up a bit, eyes opening wider from where they’d started to close. “Really?”

“Yeah. My dad. He looks kinda like me, but shorter, with a better beard. His name is Sean.”

Bekah smiled. “Whose the other one?”

“A tall blonde lady named Nicole. Indy’s mom. Looks just like her, you won’t be able to miss her. They’ll help you, and keep you safe.” The sincerity in his voice was enough for Indy to realize he desperately wanted it to be true. She turned her head to hide her tears, clinging onto the bed rail to keep herself steady. 

“That sounds nice,” Bekah breathed, her eyes slowly closing. “You all want me to tell them anything, when I get there?”

It was Grayson’s turn to lose his voice.

“No babe. We can tell them when we get up there.” Indy answered after a moment too long.

“That better not be for a long time. I gotta have some entertainment. Watch you all grow up and get married and have kids. You better name one after me too,” she sighed, her voice getting quieter as her heart sped up. 

“You bet,” Grayson said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead as her breathing slowed and evened out again. It was slower than it should be, and Grayson realized his own breathing was fast… too fast. He brought a hand to his chest, then his other to cover his mouth and keep himself quiet.

“Shh, shhh hey, you’re okay, here, c’mon, you’re okay.” Indy’s voice was in his ear, her arms under his to try and guide him up to his feet, then out to the hallway. She held his arm and pulled him over into a supply closet that she swiped into, letting the door shut behind them.

“Breathe Grayson. It’s okay, just breathe.”

He fell to pieces in her arms, his back curled painfully so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck and sob. They were ugly sounds, wet and snotty and raw and she didn’t care. She just held him together as best she could with her small hands, let him relax into her and get it out of his system. His shoulders stilled eventually, but his arms stayed locked around her like a vice.

Neither of them moved until the motion sensor light clicked off, covering them in darkness. 

They didn’t speak. They untangled themselves and let the light turn back on before they headed back into the hallway as if nothing had happened, back into Bekahs room. Her heart rate was perpetually high now, fighting to keep the blood pumping.

Another sign that the end was coming soon. 

Indiana and Grayson sat down on the couch beside each other, just close enough for their shoulders to graze occasionally when they shifted. Indy watched the monitors and Grayson watched her, reading her expressions as best he could over what felt like an eternity. He looked at all the things he’d missed - the freckle by her ear, and the baby hairs that sat by her temple and never seemed to grow. 

It could have been minutes, or hours. No one was sure. But eventually Indy’s posture slumped slightly, and with a final sigh she leaned over to the left, her head resting on Grayson’s shoulder. 

He stopped breathing, only allowing himself shallow inhales that left his torso perfectly still so she could rest. He didn’t know how to feel, and against his will his eyes prickled at the realization that despite the fucked up situation they were in, she was there, leaned against him. Beside him. Something he wasn’t sure he was ever going to get ever again. The way she shifted and mumbled in her sleep let him know she wasn’t comfortable, but he let himself be selfish for a few minutes and soothed her back down so she stayed, relished in the weight of her on him and resisting the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. 

He moved as carefully as he ever had to press a tiny kiss to her hair.

She sighed and settled down further in her seat, moving her head onto the back of the couch and freeing him. 

The angle of her neck looked painful, and he scanned the room, noticing that they’d brought in two recliners, presumably for her parents. He stood up carefully and dragged the chairs away from the wall, lining them up like he had in his dad’s room. He hunted down a few extra pillows from the nurses, blankets too, and brought them in, making little makeshift beds for the two of them. 

He felt guilt waking Indy up, but he didn’t want to pick her up without permission. Instead, he shook her shoulder gently until she stirred, panicking for a moment until she realized everything was okay. Her heart fluttered at the realization that Grayson was still there. 

“Sleep over here, it’ll save your neck.” He nodded towards the chair and she stood up slowly, groggily moving over into one of them. She sighed as she settled in, exhaustion taking over. Grayson liked to think that she felt peaceful enough, safe enough to sleep because he was there, but he didn’t let himself believe it. So he simply moved her blanket up over her torso before he climbed into his own chair that faced the other way so they could see each other. 

He watched her sleep for a moment, and then her hand moved just far enough down the arm rest. She wiggled her fingers until he got the message, slipping his hand into hers before he too fell asleep. 

When they awoke the next morning, their hands were still intertwined, and Bekah’s parents were coming in the doorway. Indy woke up first, sitting up straight and squeezing Grayson’s hand.

“Grayson. Gray, hey, wake up.”

He grumbled until he was able to open his eyes, wiping his mouth with his hoodie sleeve as he came to and realized where he was. He was quick to stand, to introduce himself to Bekah’s parents with firm handshakes. His hair was a mess, and Indy bit her fingernails to keep from reaching out to smooth it out. 

The day went by, measured by the heart rate monitor beeps that got quicker and quicker, and the rattling of Bekah’s breath as the fluid settled in her lungs. Martina and Indy changed her into her blue hoodie, and fixed her favorite scarf - one with tiny blue lightning bolts - over her head. 

Indy and Gray didn’t have the energy or stamina to try to figure out where they stood, so they chose together, for the time being. She kept her arm wrapped around his, the way she used to when he walked her down the street. He traced over her fingers where she held onto him, chewing her lip while she watched her vitals grow worse and worse, all the red flags she would be trying to fix if that was the goal. Around 3pm, the nurse came into the room. The way Indy tensed was enough for Grayson to know something was happening.

“We’re gonna give her a bit more sedation to keep her comfortable. With the current levels of her vitals, it might slow her down enough to let her pass peacefully. There are no guarantees, but it is possible.” 

Martina began to cry into her husband’s shoulder. 

“So we should say our goodbyes then?” Tarin asked through a tight throat. The nurse nodded.

“We’ll administer it and then give you guys some privacy.”

“She won’t be in any pain, right?”

“No sir. It’ll just be like falling asleep.”

Indy watched as she set up her IV and stepped out of the room. 

Grayson and Indy followed her out quietly, giving Bekah and her parents the moment that they needed. Indy’s breath was shaky, and she held tighter to Grayson as they waited in the hallway. He looked up towards the light in an attempt to stop the tears, and a few moments later, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

It was Martina, her eyes red and cheeks blotchy.

“You all are family. She would want you here with her.”

Grayson’s feet wouldn’t move until Indy guided him back into the room. 

Bekah’s parents stayed on either side of her bed and held her hands while Indy and Grayson stood at the foot of her bed and watched her take her last breath. 

Indy didn’t cry. She stood watch, only moving when the nurses came in to confirm time of death. She went and turned the monitors off, cutting the monotonous tone out abruptly as they removed Bekah’s IV. Grayson’s quiet sniffled and muffled sobs were almost enough to tip her over the edge, but she held it together. She hugged Martina, then Tarin, and then retreated into Grayson’s side yet again. 

There wasn’t a signal, or anyone that told them it was time to go. But they found themselves outside in the hallway eventually, and they walked arm and arm. They signed out at the desk for the last time and walked out the doors of the pediatric oncology ward, through the ocean hallway and down the stairs.

The rain had stopped.

They walked the streets in silence, holding onto each other tightly as people passed them on the sidewalk, completely unaware of what had just happened to them. The world continued to turn, the city continued to bustle, and they continued to walk, one foot in front of the other until they made it to the elevator of her building.

Indy watched the numbers go by as it climbed. She didn’t say a word when they got to her floor, or through her door or over to her couch. Grayson sat down beside her and took his shoes off. She stared over his shoulder out the windows, an overwhelming numbness settling over her entirety. 

“Indy, why don’t you take your shoes off,” Grayson whispered. 

She didn’t look at him.

“Indy?”

He waited. The blues in her eyes were dark, and his heart sank. He knelt down and untied her shoes, sliding them off her feet gently. He took her socks off too - she hated sleeping in socks. 

“I’ve got you. You’re safe, it’s okay,” he said, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. She swallowed hard, and that was enough for Grayson to justify picking her up and carrying her into her room. He sat her down and pulled her covers back before he got her into bed. 

Once she was settled he stood up, waiting for just a moment before he spoke. 

“I’ll be on the couch if you need me okay? I’ll be right here.”

Indy blinked hard, and then she shook her head.

Grayson went to his knees beside her in an instant, ready to do whatever she needed. 

“Stay.”

That was all he needed. He circled around the bed and climbed in behind her, coiling his arm around her torso and crushing her back against him, pressing her into him everywhere he could. He willed himself to shield her, from the pain and the reality of what had just happened. He pressed a kiss to her hair and closed his eyes and he held his girl until morning.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi, I know you’re a fan of namjoon so I wanted to ask your thoughts on this ring thing? I’m kinda new and assumed all these namjoon is married with kids stuff were a joke. But some people seem to totally believe that. I mean where he’d get the time to see a partner and kids is beyond me but who knows? Anyways I was looking at some of their recent pics and he doesn’t wear it all the time - which if it was a couples ring - wouldn’t he? I thought maybe he would only wear it if they were appearing on Run or Korean shows, but he didn’t have it on for either of the new shows they’ve been on recently, as they may not have been as widely watched. I mean I guess it’s none of our business - but I’m trying to rip of my delulu hat for making me think Seokjin gave it to him 🙈

Hi anon, I hope you don’t mind that I’ll combine my answer for you with my answer to another ask since I feel like they fall into the same kind of category, as in people taking things too far and/or blowing things out of proportion. And, coincidentally, both have something to do with rings.

I’ll start with your question though and give you another example that followed a very similar trajectory as the omg namjoon is married with kids because ring narrative/theory. Some months ago, Namjoon posted a few pictures on twitter and among them was a picture of him with another guy wearing a green sweater. His face though was covered. At first ARMY didn’t think much of it, but then, eventually, someone started a joke that “remember that sweater Joon wore for BV4? The guy is wearing the same one, what if that's his boyfriend?” and it went viral.

It started out completely harmless with hundreds of positive and funny tweets made in good humor, no one taking it that seriously knowing that we’d never find out even if it were true. But, as the jokes started to simmer down, everyone had their laugh, the next wave came in and this one decided that this isn’t a joke at all but serious matter. Quickly this harmless fun turned into a witch hunt of “ARMY” trying to figure out who the guy might be, if he is Namjoon’s mysterious friend that once sent him a coffee truck with custom drawn designs on it, perhaps the same one with whom Namjoon already once posted a picture sitting on this garden porch swing type thing, some even trying to prove that the guy is either Seokjin (in which case, what would be the need to cover his face?) or Florist Isaac whom they met during that one RUN episode.

So, very quickly a few idiots turned harmless fun into something almost malicious and got into fights with ARMY who were trying to tell them to stop.

The ring thing followed a similar story. It was once a harmless joke based on the fact that Namjoon wants to have kids one day, so some made jokes about what if he’s already married but we just didn’t know etc. But very quickly that got out of hand as well, going as far as people claiming the little girl in his pictures which he posted around his birthday or something is his daughter (even though it was said it’s probably the child actress from BTS WORLD) and that him making jokes (during a BangtanB while trying on glasses before their MOTS7 press con) about his child being able to read/write hangul at a very young age wasn’t jokes at all but solid proof of the fact that he is married with a child (despite the fact that he would’ve had to have gotten married and his wife pregnant not long after their debut for the timeline to even work out somehow which makes it seem even more ridiculous). This even went as far as people spamming the comments during this vlives with questions about it, flooded his selcas on twitter with questions and “jokes” and, again, attacked anyone who told them to stop.

In all of this, watching it happen from the sidelines as someone whose bias is Namjoon, I was confused why these particular rings (which I don’t even think were the same ones each time) caused such a reaction. The members have all worn so many different rings over the years, on all fingers, sometimes even like eight at the same time, and yet it wasn’t until 2020 and their KBS interview after their first BBH100 #1 that things went bonkers. All because Namjoon decided to take the ring off before they started filming or something.

In all of this I see two things that make me wonder:

When would he have the time to find a girl (since same sex marriage is not a thing in Korea) with whom he would have enough time to befriend her, trust her (considering who Namjoon is, that one is a major thing), fall in love, date and be together for a few years, and then get married? From Seokjin we know they have maybe two or three days off a month and work at least ten hours a day on their BH regulated schedules. Add to that the time they spend in the studio working on music outside of schedules, gym time, a few hours of sleep, and perhaps a few scarce hours of free time to (in Namjoon’s case) go to a museum or ride his bike, does that really leave enough time for romance (with an outsider) that leads to marriage (and a child)?

Is age 26 at the height of their career really the time for marriage? Even more so when you are someone like Namjoon, the leader of the world’s biggest group with more responsibilities than we can likely imagine as outsiders. Sure, he said he wants kids, but he can still have those in his thirties, he can also get married in his thirties, after all, life does not end once you hit thirty despite what some teens believe.

Lastly, I actually think that if it were true, Namjoon, or really anyone from the hyung line, would be the ones who wouldn’t have to hide it, at least not when compared to the maknaes. You could argue that “it would threaten their career” but would it really? Perhaps if the ring were from a man (some namjinists did make jokes that it’s like his promise ring from Seokjin or whatever, but it was all in good fun, nothing more than that), then yes, but connected to a woman? That one member from EXO also came out and said he’s getting married because his fiancé was pregnant and all it did was cause a few fansites to close and a handful of people to “protest” in front of the SM building. 

Little correction about my comments about that EXO member, though even with this my point still stands:

From anon: Re: your last post about namjoon’s rings! I agree with everything you said but just a small correction. I’m not an EXO stan but it wasn’t just a a few “protests” or fansites closing. From what I read online, he his fiancée and later wife, and his child were harassed, threatened and stalked to the point where he enlisted early just to give his family some relief. We all know there are people like this in every fandom and I know BTS would be aware of these things, so they’ll be extra careful.

Would there be delulus like this who’d go crazy if Namjoon were to say “ARMY, I’m (getting) married”? Of course. Would it ruin BTS’ career? I seriously doubt it. Do I think Namjoon would actually come out and say it if it were the case? No, but not because it’s bad idol etiquette or because BH wouldn’t allow him, but because people are insane and who knows what they would do.

It’s the same with times when people argue “I wish X ML members would just say he has a girlfriend so the ship wars would end” without taking into consideration the girl’s safety and the fact that a partner different than the one X member is shipped with has never been that big of an obstacle for some before. Just create a conspiracy theory about the company forcing this upon them and voila problem solved. We’ve seen that before when the tattoo scandal happened, and people thought JK might be dating that tattoo artist and therefore it would mean he isn’t in a relationship with Jimin or Tae.

Whatever happens in the members private lives, it is safer for all parties involved if it stays private, even more so if their romantic partners were non-idols, or non-celebrities, or another member.

Now onto the second ring question:

From anon: I am a young army and I am slowly losing my bearings. I've seen Vlive S, H and V. Many say it was a Tk*ok day (?) And all three emphasized it, and the V even wore the friendship ring for Jungkook. Is it true? I don't understand anything about it, I don't see it. After the last BTS interview on TV, I thought Vmin are best friends, not Tk*ok. I thought V said he didn't want Tk*ok and yet he was so happy during Vlive because it was Tk*ok day? Help!

Now this one, I was curious if we’d get an ask about this, even more since, if you’re a reader of our blog, you likely already know what I’m going to say.

Let’s start where you usually do—at the beginning. The day of the vlive coincided with what T*ek*okers have decided on is T*ek*ok Day, based on how supposedly some years ago this was the day Tae and JK named their subunit like this. I tried to find where exactly this happened, as in in which piece of official content, but I couldn’t find anything except for a screenshot. Anyone have a clue or a link?

Side note: T*ek*okers love using the “ship” naming as proof that not only are they real but also proudly showing it off by giving themselves a name but continently forget that they are not the only ones who gave themselves subunit names. After all Jimin and Namjoon named themselves MiniMoni, or Yoongi and Jimin who are MiniMini, Namjoon and Seokjin calling themselves RJRJ last year, or that one vlive with JK, Jimin and Seokjin where they also put together their names the way you build ship names. At the end of that vlive Tae, thanks to come prompting from the chat, named their trio vsope, so does that mean they are a romantic ship now too?

If you were watching that vlive as it was happening, and decided to look at the chat, then you know what was happening. For those who did not, basically the chat was flooded with comments about T*ek*ok Day, asking where JK is whom Tae loves, where his boyfriend JK is, congratulating Tae for T*ek*ok Day etc. Basically shippers took their shipping into a space where it doesn’t belong, into a space where the members can see it, and therefore purposefully broke one of the shipping rules (I even saw some tweet about how they were proud of themselves for literally spamming the chat with T*ek*ok comments which is so wrong, and I mean that regardless of which ship we talk about). In between those were the usual other comments like speak English or say hello to XYZ or say XYZ in whatever language, and very few comments that actually reacted to what the members were doing on screen. Like when Tae said he didn’t shave, instead of telling him that it’s fine, which it is, it’s his face after all, some decided to tell him he should shave more often, basically telling him what to do, which he saw and read out. Great job.

But all the madness came to a “climax” when Hobi was reading comments and among some other ones read out T*ek*ok, just the word not the T*ek*ok Day ones, and unfortunately we all knew he wasn’t reading out the Korean word for Thailand, which sounds the same though it is spelled a little differently. In that moment all hell broke loose. Focus cams of Tae’s facial expression in that moment went viral among shippers, most of course claiming he looked so happy, while other non-shippers claimed he didn’t look happy at all. It’s a micro moment so I won’t get into it, who knows what Tae thought in that moment and what his facial expression meant and if it even had any connection to the word and Hobi reading it out loud at all.

Because he read that comment, Hobi was basically crowned the new leader of the T*ek*ok shippers (I thought that role already went to Jimin?) and twitter basically had a meltdown.

As for the ring, I know this is something a lot of ships have, with romantic connotations according to their shippers, so I was curious how these rings supposedly look like in T*ek*ok’s case and if they even match the ring that Tae wore in the vlive. If it would, fine, if not, well…

If it’s not clear from the picture, the “supposed couple” or friendship rings are very delicate and thin, and sure enough I did find a lot of pictures in which both Tae and JK wore them, usually at different times, I will admit that. But the ring Tae wore during their vlive recently was much thicker and had some kind of design on it, therefore it’s a completely different one. Sorry. Why he wore it, if he bought it for himself or received it from someone, what emotional connotation to may or may not have, those are things we won’t know anything about unless he would tell us, so there's no point in speculating.

“Many say it was a Tk*ok day (?) And all three emphasized it” now this is curious to me since I watched the vlive as it was happening, and I didn’t see that at any point in the vlive. Sure, Hobi read that one comment, but if 95% of comments were about that, I wasn’t even surprised by it. Perhaps he thought that it would get people to stop? Perhaps he just read whatever comments his eyes landed on? Perhaps something else entirely? We have no way of knowing it so there is no point in trying to fixate on it. But besides that, they were talking about many other things and having fun making their smoothies, decorating them and just having a good time together with each other and with ARMY. 

So, this way of presenting the vlive basically comes down to shipper perception, confirmation bias, and simply, almost, rewriting history.

Rings do not determine who your best friend is (according to a quick google search, wearing a ring on your index finger simply means friendship or self-esteem/authority), after all many of the members have rings either from each other or ones that match, like Namjoon buying Jimin a Cartier ring for his birthday a few years ago which Jimin proudly wore since it’s really pretty, or pink and blue rings (there are several different ones, actually) that Namjoon has worn with Seokjin in the past (which fits into the Namjinist pink and blue agenda), or the rings Jimin and JK have together according to their shippers, and many more. Jimin and Tae have a whole plethora of matching jewelry in form of necklaces, rings, bracelets, even contact lenses (as in wearing one of each pair to match each other), some which were chosen by their stylists and others they bought themselves for themselves (which are all conveniently “forgotten” by those who ship either big ML ship). Though we’ve seen that even with clothes given by their stylists they were still the ones to choose their own accessories, like Namjoon choosing a pair of glasses from a whole box of different ones, or the members choosing rings from two big boxes before going on stage.

Tae himself said, on multiple occasions across multiple years, that Jimin is his best friend, even his one and only best friend, and that he’s the one he likes most which he even proclaimed on national TV. As long as Tae doesn’t say that this has changed in the last, what, two weeks and suddenly JK is officially his new best friend, those who claim otherwise are basically nothing but shippers pushing a narrative that willfully ignores Tae’s own words. Just like they ignore and twist his Weverse comment about how T*ek*okers should get out of their imagination. What doesn’t fit is ignored or adjusted until it does fit.

Lastly, sure enough, Tae really was happy during that vlive but I’m fairly certain (though neither you, them or I will ever know for sure, we’re not in Tae’s head) it had absolutely no connection to T*ek*ok Day, something shippers created and not Tae and JK themselves, seeing as Tae has been in a very good and happy mood for a few months now. Whatever makes him so happy, I truly hope it’ll continue making him happy and I wish shippers (and solo stans) would stop trying to force a reason (which fits them) upon his emotions.

I know it’s easy to get confused by how loud shippers are online, especially as young ARMY (in this case both ARMY who are young age wise but also young in the sense of being new to the fandom), but shipper opinions, in many cases, are just noise, and also noise twisted and skewed a certain way to suit them. If you kept to OT7 spaces on the day of that vlive, no one really paid attention to the ring, most were annoyed by and furious at the shamelessness of the shippers in the comments, and tried to just focus on how fun the vlive was instead.