#i just remember when i first picked up digital drawing

[skitskatdacat63]

In true tradition, here are my thoughts on my drawings, because it was in fact: 7 AM

Okay so Fernando I is, as stated, super ostentatious. Why? Because it fits him but also because it's based on the real life guy. In all the paintings I could find of Philip V, in most of them he is wearing at least some kind of armor, and if not, is dressed pretty dramatically imo. And I will not be drawing a full set of armor, but it felt a bit weird to leave it our entirely so. Also historically I do think it's so interesting he was portrayed this way, since he was described as someone who was "only interested in outward decorum and brave only in battle."(again: how fernando coded hahaha)

See! Super dramatic! Also I made this meme that is only comprehensible to me

Seriously, why is he pointing in half of his paintings???? I couldn't find a concrete answer so I will give my personal analysis 😤 I like to think that it's symbolism for how he's always moving forward, like "here's will I go will go next!" ....or the artists just couldn't figure out what to do with his hands, I feel the struggle.

Oh also important to note!! His heels!! I am obsessed with this fashion detail from the time:

Nandopoleon is super important to me, it's why @sweatyflytrap and I became friends in the first place 🥺🥺🥺 so it felt very surreal to draw him because I've been thinking about him for a while. I want to make an actual web weave with quotes lined up with Fernando's career, or stuff comparing their personalities. Or draw him recreating one of the iconic paintings(probably the one with Napeoleon crowning himself emperor, I think it's fitting.) But to draw him in that classic pose, im very happy :)

And as I said already, Hussars are very fun to draw because it is such a general AU. The joy of it is more about figuring out how to incorporate the details of the real life racesuits to the uniform. If I didn't only primarily love to draw Fernando and Seb, i would be like "request a driver for the Hussar AU!" But I don't know how well that would go 😭

Anyways end of post. I think the reason why I've been feeling a lot more creatively driven and passionate is because it's a lot easier to draw so much when you know other people will be interested/want to discuss it with you! I used to have a friend that I would talk a lot about my OCs with, and guess what, back then I drew a lot more of them than I do now. It's not that I need outside validation to draw, I draw plenty for myself, but more that it makes me feel more happy about it, because I know that I'll get to talk about it with other people and see other people's thoughts, rather than just me being the sole participant. As you guys know, I like to talk. A lot. So it's very nice for it not all to be in my head(I am crazy) 😭😭 So thank you to everyone for your continued interest <3 you sustain me 🥺🥺

[seaofreverie]

One year ago I made this lil comic about being aromantic, based on the lyrics of Eaten By The Monster Of Love! I meant to post it on the anniversary of me making it but I missed the day, oops... so today felt like a fitting alternative :3

Happy Valentine's Day!! Whether you were eaten by the monster of love or not, I hope you have a fun day today!

[yanderenightmare]

TW: nsfw, noncon/dubcon, omegaverse/hybrid au, size difference, pet-play, predator x prey, collaring, drugging

fem reader

Thinking about a human collector who decides he wants a new pet to add to his collection...

The air of the animal shelter is polluted by whimpers, howls, and growling as he parades past all sorts of rareties locked up in their cages – all for him to pick and choose from. 

The warden is telling him about the new swan hybrid they wrangled a week ago, wings like an angel with the grace of royalty, a true prize jewel of any collection. 

He thinks it sounds promising before strolling past you.

Placed in one of the smaller cages on the floor, seemingly tucked away so as not to catch anyone’s attention. 

You’re a sorry sight to behold – all starved and shaking – the collar around your throat too heavy for you to lift your head, having to look up at him through your lashes as he crouches down in front of you.

Your eyes are wide like two moons as he sticks a finger in through the bars.

It’s thick like a carrot, and for a moment, you seem like you’re about to scurry away into the very back of your cage – but instead, you inch closer, sniffing at the digit before suddenly snapping at him.

He backs away with a hiss, drawing the warden's attention – who rushes back and knocks his cain against the cage with a growl in his throat, “Stupid critter.” 

You’ve narrowed your eyes, nose wrinkled in anger – something akin to a snarl forming your lips. It’s a funny expression to see on such a normally docile breed.

“I’m really sorry, sir. Bunnies aren't usually aggressive, but we’ve had issues disciplining this one for weeks.” The warden rushes out the apologetic excuse, expecting to be sued.

But the collector only chuckles – a deep sound that makes your soft fur stiffen. “That’s fine.” 

He pulls a handkerchief from his back pocket, all movements calm and collected as he wipes the spill of blood trickling from the small bite mark you’d left on his finger.

“It’s only a nibble, after all.” 

You spit the bitter taste left in your tongue out on his shoes with another sneer.

If it angers him, it still doesn’t show through the lofty smile he wears. His leer is just as poised and heavy as he looks down at you.

“Does she talk?”

The warden had turned to lead him towards the more desirable and tamed section but halted at the question.

He had a puzzled look on his face before he answered, almost in a question himself, “We don’t know.”

The collector scoffed out another small laugh, then pulled out his phone. “How much?”

The warden seemed appalled then. “Sir, we have exotic pets more up to your standard in the back. Are you sure-”

“I want this one.”

The warden looked snuffed at his firm tone. But straightened himself out after a moment. All business as usual. “We can’t guarantee she’ll behave. It could be dangerous-”

But he’s cut off yet again, this time with another rumbling chuckle.

“That won’t be an issue.”

And those dark eyes with that deeply dominating look within them were the last thing you remember seeing before becoming a sleepy heap on the floor of your cage – drooling with a blank stare as you’re carried to the trunk and driven off with.

The tranquilizer makes you fall asleep, waking to heat swallowing you as you’re lowered into a bathtub.

“Let’s get you groomed first.” The same man murmurs in a coo. Petting your head with a heavy hand when seeing your weary eyes try blinking off the sleep – but still left too drowsy to thrash.

Instead, you can just moan as he washes you with a tender smile on his face – his big hands coarse against your creamy skin, rubbing your plush limbs with soap and oil.

“My pets have been an awful handful lately…”

He’s talking about something, but you only catch bits and pieces of the words being said. Something about ruts and scratched furniture – someone’s been pissing in the sofa, and all the pillows are ruined.

He messages the lops of your ears, then rinses them gently.

“But it’s my fault. I’ve been neglectful.”

He cups your tits next, lathering them with the warm milky water, circling your nipples with the gritty pads of his thumbs until they perk.  

Then he delves under the water to find your puffy cunt, letting the hot water rush the sensitivity, making it swell with heat as he splits the lips and pets your clit. 

You buck your hips, and he awes with a light chuckle, crooning down at you. “It's okay, little bunny.”

His carrot-sized finger teases your hole before sinking inside you, filling you in slow and tentative pumps. Sitting next to the tub, just as composed as before, while your cunt squeezes his knuckles.

He hums, watching your body fight the tranquilizer as you seize up and ripple with release.

He retracts his hand, patting them both on the fluffy towel placed next to him. A content smile on his face. “You’re gonna do perfect.”

After he’s finished drying you, he fixes a collar around your throat and carries you out to the others.

“Gather ‘round, pets.” He announces, placing you down on the soft carpeted floors beneath.

Your limbs are still heavy, too weak to stand just yet. But that all changes with the adrenaline kick.

“Come say hi to your new rut-puppet.”

The stench in the air coats your skin with sweat.

“She’s a fragile thing, though, so make sure to play nice.”

Your big eyes skitter around. 

On your left, there’s a wolf, fox, and hyena who all lick their teeth at the sight of you.

Next to them lies a bear that wakens from his slumber. He licks his snout with a huff.

Drool drips from the hang in their lips as they start panting. 

And they aren't the only ones.

On your right, there’s a panther and leopard whose eyes all blackout into nothing but a deep pool of darkness.

Their tails slowly meander behind them as they arise from their beds to stalk you.

You whimper, backing up until your back hits the legs of your new owner.

You lift your head to look up at him, only to see him smiling down at you.

“Don’t be shy now. The smell of fear only makes them wilder.”

part 2

[olderthannetfic]

This is going to be an obvious question to anyone who's familiar with the language, but how does one type in Chinese? All the languages I've studied have had alphabetic writing systems, so to me foreign language typing is just assigning different letters on the keyboard and hitting them in order the same as English.

I imagine there's some way of entering the elements of each glyph with a command that tells it where to place it? I tried googling and just got a bunch of articles about how autocorrect can suggest Chinese characters when a user types the words in pinyin, but this sounds like a laborious and clunky system for someone who reads and writes Chinese fluently, and it wouldn't nessecarily exist on all devices.

--

(same anon wondering about typing Chinese characters) I also figure that if converting from pinyin was the primary or only way to get digital Chinese characters, then a lot more online spaces would just use pinyin in the first place and save everyone the trouble. The people writing multichapter fanfics or chatting away on social media in Chinese definitely have a fluent way to type their language that probably doesn't involve converting the entire text from an unrelated writing system, but these articles just aren't telling me what it is.

Ahahaha. Anon... phonetic entry is so much easier than other methods.

No, nobody enters characters while typing by picking radicals and where to place them. There are ways to look up an unfamiliar character that use radicals. There are also apps that let you try to draw something by hand, then attempt to figure out what you drew. But, again, that's for unfamiliar things, not typing up a story.

Computers were developed by English speakers and others with alphabets. Phonetic entry would probably be easiest anyway, but with the early infrastructure geared towards it, it's definitely easier.

There was an interesting phenomenon in Japanese (I'm not sure about Chinese) where The Youth™ were using fewer and fewer complex or less common kanji in... I want to say the 80s or 90s. The usual suspects moaned about the death of literacy...

Then cell phone/computer typing came along. If you knew the word, you didn't have to remember every single detail of how to write it. And people responded by using hella kanji all over the place, including lots of much rarer characters that a person would often recognize on sight but not remember perfectly enough to write by hand with confidence.

English spelling is tricky, but just learning 26 letters and then using them in a way that makes sense to a native speaker of [whatever] isn't. People are going to know pinyin. It's not a hardship to use it.

[sinnabum45]

⚠Trigger Warning! Graphic depictions of suicide attempt, suicide ideation, and spiraling thoughts⚠

[Image description: black and white with gray tones, digital drawing of a comic about characters from the Ace Attorney series. Page one: First three panels are of Miles Edgeworth sitting at his desk, which is covered with papers, tired with eye bags and feeling frustrated with himself. His left hand is on his face and it moves back down. He thinks to himself, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I even do something as simple as this?” A flashback to Phoenix Wright glaring at Edgeworth, then saying, “It’d been better if you never came back from the dead, Edgeworth!” Pearl Fey is standing next to him with a shocked and worried expression. Page one end. Page two: Miles is shocked and his desk is now covered with sleeping pills and an open pill bottle. An embodiment of Manfred von Karma appears behind Miles and reaches for Miles’s face. Manfred says, “How selfish can you be? Can’t even do me the favor of simply dying. ” The embodiment turns into Miles when he attempted suicide. Messy hair, bloodshot eyes, dried tears, dark circles under his eyes, and pills pouring from his mouth. He is squeezing the real Miles’s face and says, “Why don’t you try it again?” Page two end. Page three: Miles shuts his eyes and covers his ears with his fists while shouting, “No!! I don’t need you anymore!”. He opens his teary eyes when he hears Phoenix say, “Edgeworth.” Miles remembers Phoenix telling him, “Please call me anytime. I want to be there for you this time, okay?”. In the flashback, it is bright, Phoenix is facing forward, smiling with a worried expression, and holding his phone. The present Miles looks forward and calmed down a little. He’s still shaken up a bit. Page three end. Page four: Throughout the three panels, Miles is reaching for his smart phone on the desk, pulls away, then grabs his phone. Quotes from various characters: Phoenix, Gant, Manfred, and Franziska are scattered throughout the page. First panel, “I never wanted to see you again! To think that your motivation for prosecuting trials was so selfish…” by Phoenix. “I can feel it. You and me… we’re the same.” by Gant. Second panel, “You can let what happened kill the prosecutor inside you, or you can let it help you grow. I’ll be waiting for you in court…” by Phoenix. “Our battle… begins now… so you had better prepare yourself, Miles Edgeworth!” by Franziska. Third panel, “You have fallen so far. All these years I guided you, raised you as my own. You and your father are my curse!” by Manfred. “A von Karma is someone who is destined to be perfect! You are no longer worthy of being a von Karma! And neither am I!” by Franziska. Page four end. Page five: Miles is calling Phoenix. It rings throughout the page. The embodiment of Miles yells, “Stop! He will just hate you more than he already does!”. He is crying as he says, “ Then… I’ll truly be alone.” He has both hands raised to around his collarbone level and ink is smudged on his right hand. Miles reaches for his face and it startles his embodiment. The last panel is brighter. Miles, with closed eyes and somber expression, is holding his own face and reassuring himself by saying, “Don’t worry… I trust him.” Miles’s chair is squeaking as he rocks back and forth while leaning on his desk. Page five end. Page six: It is single light page with the phone ringing and getting picked up. Then Phoenix answers, “ Hello? Edgeworth?”. Comic end. End description]

Links to help Palestine and other resources! 🇵🇸

[Plain text: Links to help Palestine and other resources! (palestine flag). End plain text.]

Some extra thoughts below! These are just my personal interpretations of what I watched. I'll try to make sense of what I'm saying LOL 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Again, trigger warning for suicide attempt+ ideation!

Something I noticed while skimming through Farewell, My Turnabout is the similarities between Miles and Adrian Andrews. They directly connected Franziska and Adrian at the end, but they kinda just "hinted" at Miles being similar to Adrian. The main thing that stood out to me is when Miles starts explaining how Adrian is putting up a façade by acting strong. The background fades to black (TWICE), which is something that mostly happens when it's something important, putting focus onto Miles while he talks about how Adrian "lost her will to live" after losing Inpax. Inpax was Adrian's "pillar of strength" and when Inpax comitted suicide, Adrian completely fell apart. She then started to act just like Inpax to cope with losing herself and her mentor. That sounds like the relationship between Miles (and Franziska) and Manfred.

Miles's and Franziska's whole life with Manfred was them depending on him to validate/approve of them. When Manfred left their lives, they started to fall apart trying to gain approval of a man who isn't there anymore. Franziska's confidence was chipped away throughout every case because she kept losing against Phoenix. Miles fell apart a lot quicker (cuz Franziska wasn't created until after--).

Throughout Rise from the Ashes, multiple characters point out how Miles was not doing well and it progressively gets worse. This honestly confused me because Phoenix did notice that Miles wasn't doing okay. He even told Miles that he needs to choose between killing the prosecutor within him or let it help him grow. This interaction is at the very end of the case. Idk if "killing the prosecutor within" was ever brought up before that, but that was interesting cuz I kept seeing people say that Miles wrote that in his note out of nowhere.

With everything that Miles went through in just 2 MONTHS- it makes sense to me if he was not okay. His whole life was uprooted again after 15 years, he was betrayed by almost everyone he trusted, his adoptive dad killed his biological dad and tried to blame it on him, he was brought out on a boat in the middle of the night and shot at, Gant+ Lana used his knife to stab a person's body and made him unknowingly transport it in his own car, Gant saying that he's just like him, etc. Like DAMN bro, what the heck 😭

Also, the thing that made me want to make this comic was when Phoenix told Miles that "everyone would be better off if he stayed dead". Imo, I think it's understandable why Phoenix is angry at Miles. He felt betrayed and couldn't face the fact that Miles isn't who he was when he was 9. There was a post talking about it in more detail, but I mostly agree with what they had to say about it. Phoenix put an unfair standard onto Miles and got hurt when Miles couldn't meet that expectation. He wanted to "save" Miles by solving the DL-6 case and then thought that Miles would go back to how he was when they were kids. When he realized that it doesn't work like that, at least not right away, he felt betrayed. I love that they wrote Phoenix, the protagonist, with these traits tbh. I think it's very interesting! I just wished that they added a scene where Phoenix apologized for saying that Miles should stay dead tho cuz that's never okay to say to anyone, let alone someone you care about and apparently "know better than anyone else" 👁👁

Another thing I noticed is how different the characters treat Adrian vs Miles with the topic of "death". For some reason they're very sympathetic and delicate with Adrian, but then tell Miles to die. Phoenix tells Miles that everyone would be better off if he stayed dead, but then calls Miles cold for telling Adrian that if she decides to "choose death", then it is of no concern to him. Which goes right into my next point.

Miles seemed like he really didn't want to bring up Adrian's suicide attempt and her mental illness. It seemed like they tried everything to get her to talk, but because Franziska told her not to testify, Adrian kept trying to stay quiet. Even the judge was trying to get her to testify by saying at this point, it's looking like she's guilty. In any other situation, what Miles said to her would be uncalled for, but this was literally life or death for Adrian. Also, with context, Miles said that regardless of what she decided to do after the trial, she needed to talk now. She was asking for someone to help her, but only she can accept that help. He could've definitely put it in a way better way tho like damn. I think he's projecting how he talks to himself onto Adrian tbh 👀 It's honestly just a really shitty situation for Adrian to be in cuz no matter the reason, she was forced to face her worst fear. If anyone is to blame for all this bs, it's definitely Matt Engarde and Juan Corrida imo-- 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ Her illness was something Adrian would have to face sooner or later, it just sucks that it had to be like this 😢 Another thing I noticed is when Adrian said that if the truth of her illness were to come out she couldn't finish her sentence. Then Miles finished it for her by asking if she would "choose death". That's a more obvious clue that maybe Miles's note was a suicide note, since it was used in the context of committing suicide.

This guy is always on my mind-- All of them are always on my mind tbh 😭 I just wanted to draw Miles struggling (just the usual on this account) SKMSDKLML I also wanted to show that healing isn't linear and there are a LOT of times where it's just hard. I also wanted to show that Phoenix (and literally everyone else OvO) does want to be there for him despite everything, Miles just has to be brave and accept his support. I just want them to be happy DAMN 😭😭

I feel like I have so much more to talk about, but I can't think of anything else rn. I hope all of this makes sense- I'd love to read your thoughts on this or if you have any questions! Just keep it respectful, please 🥺

[ipso-faculty]

Today's rabbithole: the origins of "dyadic" as opposite of intersex/h-word

TLDR: "dyadic" seems to come from 1970s radical feminism and seems to have entered intersex vocabulary via gender studies. This implies it is NOT a term coined from within the intersex community.

I've been reading Cripping Intersex since it's this month's pick for @intersexbookclub (and it's not too late for you to pick it up yourself! 💜). One thing that caught my attention is Orr spends a bunch of time presenting the origins of "endosex" and "perisex" as disputed for whether these terms were coined by intersex people or not.

Orr does this because they clearly prefer "dyadic" and are trying to justify why they're talking about "compulsory dyadism" rather than "compulsory endonormativity/perinormativity" etc. 🤨

Interestingly enough, Orr makes absolutely zero attempt in the book to find an origin for the word "dyadic". 🧐 Orr also never questions whether the term "dyadic" actually came from the intersex community. 🧐 So..... rabbit hole time!

Before I get into what I found on dyadic, I wanna quickly fact check Orr on the origin of endosex. Best as I can tell, the term was first used in German in 2000 by Heike Bödeker. Bödeker is controversial for supporting autogynephilia 😬, but I've never seen anybody doubt Bödeker having mixed gonadal dysgenesis. If anybody knows of an older use of endosex, please send it my way! But as far as I can tell, "endosex" was coined by an intersex person.

Okay, onto the origin of dyadic. Orr presents this word as though its only detractors come from its implication there is a sex binary, even though as @intersex-ionality discusses here there are other reasons people don't like it. One reason is that the term is considered to originate from outside the intersex community.

Orr never questions the origins of dyadic. But intersex-ionality's post got me wondering if I could track down an textual origin.

So I went to Google Scholar, searched for "dyad" or "dyadic" plus "intersex" or the h-word and kept changing the time period increasingly far back in time. (Initially I just used intersex until I remembered the h-word slur would be more common in older articles 😬.)

I went into this thinking maybe dyadic would be related to how in early intersex studies literature like Critical Intersex (2009) you can see authors trying out terms like "dimorphic" and "dimorphous" that reference sexual dimorphism. (Neither "dyadic" nor "endosex" show up in the book.)

But the earliest works by intersex scholars that invoke dyadic tend to use it in a way that implies to me it has its own origin - e.g. Malatino (2010) talks about "at one pole, the dyad of the dimorphic heterosexual couple and, at the other, the hermaphroditic body" and "the heteronormative promised land of proper dyadic, dimorphic sex" which gives me the impression dyadic has a more sociological origin rather than the biology origin of dimorphic.

This 2010 gender studies article by Mandy Merck that talks about the intersex rights movement was my first solid lead. Merck draws a direct connection between the intersex rights movement and the 1970 book The Dialectic of Sex by Shulamith Firestone. 😯

In the book, Firestone explicitly talks about the "male-female dyad". This book had a fairly big impact when it came out. Firestone was a big-name second-wave radical feminist. And as Merck puts it: "[Firestone's] aim is to release women and men from the culturally gendered[5] dyad of the “subjective, intuitive, introverted, wishful, dreamy or fantastic” and the “objective, logical, extroverted, realistic”[6] into a society undivided by genital differences. This she calls “integration.”" (emphasis mine)

Pushing the search terms to before the 00s, I found I there were some 1980s botanists kinda using "dyad" as an opposite to "hermaphrodite" (example). I don't know how standard this was though, and with Google Scholar it is important to remember that digitization becomes less common the further back you go. 🤷‍♀️

Judith Butler used "dyadic" in a 1985 article about Foucault's Herculine Barbin.

The Butler article got me searching for more generally - "dyad" or "dyadic" plus "sex-roles male female". I found lots of results using dyadic to talk about female/male sex roles from the 1970s.... and a rather sudden paucity of such articles in the 1960s. 🤔

When I restricted the search to anything before 1970, I get results from symbolic interactionist sociology. I.e. the sociology use of "dyadic" (i.e. any social interaction happening between a pair of individuals).

So looks like dyadic as a sex role thing entered the academic lexicon in the early 70s. Which lines up pretty damn well with The Dialectic of Sex coming out in 1970. 👍️ And indeed, many of the 70s uses of "dyadic" explicitly cite Firestone.

I'm guessing Firestone was probably influenced by the interactionist term. Lots of sociologists were talking about dyadic relationships and/or interactions such as teacher-student, parent-child, husband-wife, etc. In this context, it's not surprising that Firestone would pick dyad as a term to talk about male-female sex roles and interactions.

Other than the 1980s botany articles I didn't actually find much from the pre-2000 biology world, and no leads from the medical literature. This doesn't mean "dyadic" wasn't being used by physicans, just that it isn't showing up in my searches on Google Scholar.

I'm coming out of this with the impression that Merck's got it right to be connecting the intersex-related use of dyadic as originating from the writing of Shulamith Firestone. If anybody knows of competing evidence for an origin, *please* do send it my way as I'd be super interested. But in the absence of other evidence, I'd tentatively say that the term dyadic came out of second wave radical feminism and *not* the intersex community.

[thedollhousediaries]

The Dollhouse Diaries

Real Life In Plastic Tip #6:

ෆTime Management for Neurodivergent Girly Girls and Boujie Hyperfemmesෆ

This is the pretty girl era of having time management under control. The key is to learn how to live in the moment while also being discipline enough to move on to the next task as needed. I know that sentence was as daunting to read as it was for me to write ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა I guarantee I gotcha *Chaeyoung voice*

First Things First: Go 1 Week At a Time!! (every 3 days if an entire 7 is too much or your schedule is unpredictable, like mine)

Build a simple list of all the things you have to do and that you would like to do. Its much easier to get it all out on the table so you can donate more of your brain power to sorting things, rather than holding things.

Put all of the things listed on a calendar: Most important first things first! This means things like health appointments,work schedule, birthdays, holidays that you celebrate, classes, or anything that involves not only your time but other’s as well. Then after that put the elective things second; Nail appointments, shopping trips, dates with friends, etc. Lastly, put the things you would like to incorporate into your daily routine; We talking skincare, any hobbies you may have like drawing/painting/sculpting/reading/blogging, any form of exercise, etc.

Once the week or however much time you have scheduled out is done on your overall calendar, then its time for marrying it to your life.

Marrying your schedule: Planner apps, Physical Planner, Dry Erase Boards and Bullet Journals

Choosing your medium at keeping up with your schedule is very important. You may have to try them all before you get comfortable with something. I have tried them all and I’ve found that the main one that truly stuck with me was the app/website Notion. I like it because its fully customizable and you can use it at your own pace. Every week or every day may not be super eventful and so it drops the guilt and shameful feeling of not filling up pages every single day.

Here is what all I use and the way I use them:

Notion <3 I use it as my overall journal. I use the apps on my ipad/phone to check if I’m not home and I can use the website on my PC when I’m home and relaxing. I like it because its very versatile. Think of it as a digital journal combined with similar mechanics of tumblr. I use it for literally everything. There are a lot of videos that can show off all of the cool things Notion can be used for but this is the video that personally helped me learn it quickly

Bullet Journals <3 I have about 3 journals and I love them because I get to customize things with cute stickers and it gives very fun scrapbooking vibes. Because I use Notion as a all over planner I can use my BUJO’s for more fun and creative things. I usually use these for all of my cute ideas and things thats in my mind and aesthetic wishlists and such. Its very therapeutic to take time out to be kawaii and glamorous and just put cute thoughts on to paper! I mainly use it for kpop inputs, my fav shows, wishlists, dates and etc.

Dry erase board <3 I use this as a overall daily top important to-do list! Sometimes I dont always open my notion if I dont have anything extremely important coming up but there may be some things I need to keep on my mind to do for that day. The way my neurodivergency is set up I need to keep the most important things always in my face or I could forget everything. So, I put things on there like get a new tire, pick up order from bath & bodyworks, put clothes in the dryer, wash dishes, and etc. Daily tasks like that usually goes on my dry erase board

Remember at the end of the day dont be too hard on yourself and your schedule! Move at your own pace and always set yourself up for success. Scheduling is ideally suppose to calm you and be a tool to improve your life; not stress you out. If at any point you begin to feel overwhelmed just stop and recenter yourself and your life. I felt overwhelmed at first myself and that was because I was trying to keep up with a hyper organized and productive version of myself that I needed to give more patience to develop. Let this come organically to you and not because you are trying to keep up with what u feel everyone else is doing, or to the future self you are going to inevitably become. Happy scheduling, Dollmate!

[dailyhmsw]

BOUNCING UP AND DOWN. HELLO SOUL!! I just got a drawing tablet and I’m super excited about it!! I’ve been drawing for a long time, but I’m usually more of a traditional artist, do you have any tips for beginners with digital art? I am REALLY EXCITED (currently vibrating) and since I sadly don’t have any digital artist friends, this was the first blog I thought of to ask for tips!! Because!! Your art is amazing and this blog feeds my insatiable hyperfixation!! I think it’s so cool and your art is amazing!!

(I’m sorry if this is annoying TwT also yes I know I’m sending this literally on Christmas Eve but there is no pressure and you can answer this ask whenever :D)

HELLO HELLO CONGRATS, FIRST OF ALL! ! !! LOL I REMEMBER WHEN I GOT MY FIRST ART TABLET the little wacom one .. it served me very well

i think the one of the biggest hurdles in going from traditional to digital is getting used to how different it feels. at its core it's the same thing, you're drawing on a canvas, but getting used to not feeling the paper under your pen and how it handles and glides differently on the tablet can take a little while. and THEN you have to get used to your art program of choice...........

i started with (and still use) firealpaca because it's free and covers all your necessary bases plus a few nice quality of life features! i know krita is also free and seems like a good pick, though i've never used it myself..

i guess it's less a question of tips and more of getting used to the change????! for an actual tip i'd say explore your program and see all the cool features it has to offer, then play with the settings (like different brushes, stabilizer levels and pressure sensitivity (if your tablet/program supports it)) until you find something you like!! eventually it becomes just as natural as it was before. i'm kinda bad at giving advice but i hope this is something at least ^_^''

tldr give it time and explore the resources given to you.. you'll discover your preferences and eventually it'll just become natural to you !!

[katescribblesabit]

I absolutely adore your art style! Do you have any tips? Specifically for the fairies cause I am struggling to draw them.

thank you so much! well, this is gonna be a long post.

Im gonna be real, the best art advise anyone can give you is to use references and to break complicated stuff down into easier shapes. for example:

this is my basic body skeleton! i always start with the circle of the head and work my way down to the feet. i have highlighted some part of the body which are actually just simple shapes.

the center line down the middle of the torso also helps me draw on collars, bra cups, ties, or any other more difficult clothing more accurate!

However i have to ask you, are you comfortable while you draw?

I remember when I first started drawing digital, i was really uncomfortable with the basic set up of my program. The white canvas and the light setting of the program was really bright and irritated my eyes. And the contrast of the pure black I used for drawing wasn't really helping. sketching and doing line art was my least favorite part of drawing because of this.

you don't have to draw on a white canvas, you can also use multiple colours for sketching if you wanted. Once I stoppend using a pure white canvas I noticed i stopped staring at a empty canvas not knowing what i wanted to draw anymore!

also sometimes when a drawing doesn't want to look right, i switch back to traditional. idk why but when my brain sometimes struggles with a specific pose or character design, it comes to me a lot more easier when I switch back onto paper. i guess the change of scenery opens up the creativity again haha.

don't be afraid to simplify stuff, you don't have to draw everything! As long as it still translates to the thing, it should be fine.

these two are a bit clip studio exclusive,

but Gradient maps! god how I love my gradient maps, it just makes the colours pop! I never draw without it anymore. I always pick the sunset gradient, put it in Linear light mode and put it on 10% (cus its really saturated on 100%)

usually i have it on while i sketch and line, and turn it off so i can properly colour and shade. i turn it back on at the end again

the clip studio assets has a lot of beautiful stuff in there created from other users. (a good amount for free too) for example I got the lace pattern of my shawl from there. and its really easy to import the downloaded stuff into the program.

now this is a drawing hack that blew my mind when I first saw it! i use it all the time and I just have to share this!

whenever you want to draw something random like sparkles, stars, bubbles, feathers, falling leaves, or anything that you want to float around your characters, position them in the form of a triangle.

its even better if you put two points of the triangle closer together and then the third further away. this makes it look random but still looking appealing to the eye, and not oddly placed.

now that thats out of the way! Fairies! The one thing i struggled with when drawing them first is their hair. I suggest looking through the fop tag to see how other people have drawn them and take inspiration from your favorites and make up your own. (do not trace tho! that should be obvious!)

when I draw hair I think of it separated in two parts, the front and the back. I usually start with the front hair pieces, then draw in the jaw, ears and rest of the head, then continue with the back section of the hair.

the only outliers of this are Timmy and Peri. when I draw Timmy (Ymmit as well) I start with his hat, before drawing his hair. Since I draw Peris hair-swirl over his hairline, i start drawing his upper back hair style first before drawing his head and then his mullet.

wings can also be tricky. the fairy wings i have given then have a more butterfly look. if you also want to base off the wings to real life animals or bugs you can use them flying as references to. Or you could even cut out the wing shape out of paper, fold it in the middle and take pictures in the angle you desire.

I hope this somehow helped, I thought about what could have helped me if I had known it sooner. even if most of these were for generic drawing.

[jtargaryen18]

Under His Skin ~ Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Words: 3.9k

Pairing: Jonathan Crane aka Scarecrow (Nolanverse Batman) x F Reader

Warnings: Stalking, sabotage, gaslighting, head games...

Jonathan escalates his quiet sabotage of Ares, manipulating patient records, schedules, and staff perception to undermine his authority without detection. As Ares begins to fray under the pressure, he grows increasingly distracted by Ares’s fiancée. He realizes his obsession has shifted: Ares is no longer the target—she is. Torn between eliminating her as a threat or drawing her in, he begins crafting a new strategy, seeing her not just as collateral… but as part of his design.

Disclaimer:The author of this work claims no ownership of characters aside from the reader, and original secondary characters mentioned. This work is not intended for those under the age of 18 due to explicit sexual content and darker themes. By reading this work or any works on my blog (jtargaryen18), you agree that you are at least 18 years of age. I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site.

On Monday, a new nurse, fresh from orientation, was scheduled to shadow Ares during rounds. She showed up early. Too early.

Jonathan found her first. “Oh,” he said, clipboard in hand. “Rounds have been pushed to eleven. Dr. Katsaros asked me to let you know.”

She thanked him, her smile quick and tight.

He could feel her discomfort, the way her hand twitched nervously over her badge. Her body angled slightly away from him even as she stood still. It wasn't overt, but it was there. A primal instinct.

Fear, he thought, with a flicker of satisfaction. The appropriate response. That subtle unease, that instinctive recoil people carried when he got too close. It wasn’t personal, but natural. A quiet biological alarm bell, ringing under the surface. He’d spent years cultivating that edge. The way he spoke, the words he didn’t say. The way he observed without blinking too often.

It worked. It always worked. Except…

Her, his variable. Not the nurse. The fiancée. The smile-in-her-voice girl with green paint on her sleeve. He remembered the way her eyes had met his and stayed there. Curious, but unshaken. She should have felt it too, that static under the skin, the sense of wrongness people always picked up on. But she hadn’t. And that--that--wasn’t natural.

Returning to the moment, he thought of Ares, unaware the nurse arrived, waiting in the patient wing for fifteen minutes before leaving, irritated and embarrassed.

The nurse apologized to him once they found each other. Ares brushed it off, but later, Jonathan overheard him double-checking his calendar by reading it aloud. His voice was just a little too sharp.

On Tuesday, Jonathan altered a patient’s medication log by a single digit. Nothing that would cause harm, but just enough to create confusion. He submitted the paperwork for Ares’s signature, then flagged it himself a day later as a “possible discrepancy.” 

When Ares was called to clarify, he couldn’t remember authorizing the change. “I’ll look into it,” Ares said, tension easy to read in his face. “I must’ve been distracted.”

Jonathan nodded, sympathetic. “We all are, sometimes.”

He walked away as Ares rubbed his temple, confusion clouding his expression. Another clean incision with no blood.

And yet, his thoughts slid sideways.

She came by that day, as usual. Right on schedule at twelve-thirteen PM. Jonathan saw her cross the corridor, paper bag in hand. She offered a polite smile when their eyes met. But it was thin and distracted. The kind of smile people wear when their mind is already somewhere else.

She didn't stop, didn't speak. Just kept walking toward Ares’s office with her shoulders a little higher than normal, like she was bracing for something.

Jonathan stood by the file cabinet, watching her reflection in the glass. She was worried, that much was obvious. 

And the reason? Ares.

Jonathan should’ve been satisfied. He’d pushed Ares just enough off balance to spill into his personal life, and now she was feeling the ripple.

But there was something off about the way she looked past him. Like he wasn’t part of the equation. Like he was just another hallway shadow in her periphery.

She’s reacting. But not to me.

That thought settled low in his chest, unfamiliar and unwelcome. He couldn’t tell if he was pleased she was feeling it, or irritated that she hadn’t connected the feeling to him.

I orchestrated the fracture. Shouldn’t she be looking at me when it hurts?

Thursday morning was smooth. Ares arrived looking hollowed-out. His shirt wasn't pressed as usual, shadows hung behing his eyes, and yes, he used a clipped tone with the nurse who asked about the Jonas file. He kept tapping a pen against his clipboard without realizing it. Jonathan noted it.

Another clean incision. Another piece in place. 

But at twelve-thirteen PM, the hallway outside his office remained quiet. Jonathan glanced up from his notes.

Nothing.

By twelve-fifteen, the elevator still hadn’t dinged. By twelve-twenty, he found himself standing, no clear reason, and moving to the door just as another staff member passed.

No bag in her hand. No footsteps he recognized. No her. She didn’t come. She wasn't late or distracted. She wasn't there. 

He sat back down, but it wasn't the same. His pen stilled. His mind should’ve been on the afternoon reports, the next patient file he’d alter, the junior staffer he’d quietly correct.

But his thoughts circled like vultures.

Why didn’t she come? Is she sick? Busy? Angry?

No. That wasn’t the pattern.

Jonathan had watched her for weeks. She was consistent, reliable. He'd built part of the rhythm of his day around the certainty of her appearance. Not because he needed it. But because he counted on it. And now? The pattern was broken without his permission.

It shouldn't have mattered. He told himself that three times before the hour was over. But still, he opened his desk drawer and removed the envelope. Looked down at the heart-shaped pendant and broken chain resting against the bottom of it.

“You’re late,” he whispered. Then, after a beat: “Or you’re not coming back at all.”

The second thought stayed with him longer. And this time, it didn’t feel like control. It felt like lack. 

By Friday, Jonathan’s smile was the one people trusted in Arkham Asylum.

And Ares? He was still standing, still functioning. But there was a new edge in his voice when he asked for his own reports. A tightness in his smile when someone mentioned a task he didn’t remember assigning. A crease between his brows that hadn’t been there a couple of weeks ago.

Jonathan saw it all. Logged and catalogued every instance. He felt good about the progress of his plan, a perfect way to end a week. Until twelve-thirteen arrived and she didn't.

She arrived at twelve forty-seven. Thirty-four minutes behind her usual time.

Jonathan noticed the second the elevator chimed. He didn’t look up, but listened. Slower steps than normal and heavier. A pause at the security checkpoint she normally breezed through. She walked past his office without glancing inside.

No smile or polite nod. No eye contact. Just air.

She looked… off.

Her hair wasn't styled the way she normally wore it. No makeup today and boots and jeans instead of dresses with flats. Her shirt was wrinkled near the hem like she’d changed it in a hurry. She carried the paper bag, barely. More like she was holding something she forgot she picked up.

This time she didn’t wait for Ares at the door like usual. Just knocked once and stepped in.

Jonathan stared at the closed door for a long time.

She came back, but not to him.

He should’ve been relieved because the pattern was reestablishing. The interruption seemed to be resolving itself. But it wasn’t the same. She was late and different. And more than that, she didn’t look at him. Not even once.

Opening the desk drawer again, he fished out the envelope. Looked at the necklace, still curled in its place like a confession.

What changed?

Jonathan tried to focus. There were three staff meetings on his calendar. A follow-up call with administration. A patient transfer to oversee.

But all he could think about was the fact that he was practically invisible to her now. It vexed him.  

You noticed me before. Why not now?

You didn’t mean to be late.

You woke up late. The alarm didn’t go off, or maybe you’d turned it off in your sleep. You pulled on the first clean thing you could find, didn't bother with your hair. You grabbed yesterday’s paper bag lunch from the fridge, and made it halfway to Arkham before realizing you hadn’t put on makeup.

You didn’t go back. It didn’t matter. You weren’t there to look put-together. Not today.

The gallery felt different this week, like your focus was slipping, like all the colors faded. You’d snapped at one of the artists during install on Wednesday, then spent the rest of the day apologizing.

You weren't the only one having a bad week. Ares hadn't himself all week. Actually, it had been going on longer than that.

Not in a dramatic way, like he was angry or erratic. But off, in a slow, creeping, hard-to-define way that made your chest feel tight without knowing why. He forgot to call you back Monday night. Texted you 'good morning' Wednesday at 1:04 PM. Thursday, he didn’t respond to your message at all. 

You thought about not going in Friday. Just skipping the visit altogether. You'd let him catch his breath. 

But the truth was... You missed him. Or maybe you missed who he was before this week started unraveling. 

Stepping into the lobby of Arkham Asylum, you felt the building settle around you like it normally did. But it was different too, walls too thick, lighting too flat, air too still.

You passed Dr. Crane’s office without looking in, though you felt him before you saw him. There was always a cold awareness to him. It didn't feel threatening and Ares told you the man was clinical. Maybe that was it. Like he noticed everything and judged nothing.

You kept moving, knocked once on Ares’s door, and slipped inside. He smiled when he saw you. It didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Crazy week.”

He looked thinner somehow, drawn around the eyes. You knew he wasn't sleeping and you hadn't spent any time together this week. Whatever weight he was carrying had started to show. His smile was the same, but it felt like a mask now. One that didn’t quite fit right anymore.

“Are you okay?” you had to ask. 

He nodded. “Just tired. Too much paperwork.”

You hesitated. “I thought Dr. Crane was helping with that. Didn’t you say he’d streamlined the reporting process?”

Ares blinked, just a second too long. “Yeah,” he said. “He did. It’s just… different now. I don’t know.”

She handed him the bag. “You forgot your lunch yesterday.”

“Did I?”

He honestly didn’t remember. That wasn’t like him. Ares didn’t “I don’t know.” He solved and led. He remembered things.

You reached out and rested a hand on his arm. “Hey,” you said gently. “It’s me.”

He gave a soft smile then. He just looked so tired and defeated. And for a moment, you thought maybe he’d let the walls drop. That he’d tell you what was actually going on.

But instead, he pulled his arm away to sort through the contents of the bag you brought, like it never happened. Like you hadn’t happened.

What could you do? Your emotions were all over the place when you left his office. You could think you'd done something wrong, that maybe he was falling out of love with you. But that didn't feel right. So what was happening? He'd been Chief Administrator over Arkham for six years. He'd never had problems like this. Was the workload heavier? 

Was he ill?

You almost didn’t do it. You reached the door of Crane's office and stood there for nearly a minute, trying to come up with a reason not to knock. But logic had its limits, and you were running out of answers. Ares had been off for weeks now and it was getting worse. 

Crane was a psychology professor, his credentials exceeded Ares. He worked beside Ares every day. He had to have seen something.

So you knocked.

He looked up from his desk when you stepped in. His face was unreadable, his posture precise. Crane didn't appear surprised, like he already knew you were coming. There was something unsettling in his stillness. Maybe Ares was right. It wasn't cold exactly, but too quiet. Like he wasn’t just listening, he was recording. Those pale eyes of his didn’t connect, they calculated, as if you were something to be documented, not understood.

“Miss,” he said with a polite nod. “Is everything alright?”

No. Not even a little. "Could I ask you something?”

He gestured to the seat in front of his desk. You didn’t take it.

“I’m worried about Ares,” you said. “He’s been… different. I don’t know if it’s the stress, or the work, or something else. You see him more than I do these days. Has he said anything to you?”

Crane studied you in silence. The pause stretched too long. When he spoke, with his hands folded on the desk in front of him, he finally said. ��He’s… functioning.”

You blinked. “Functioning?”

He gave a slight nod, expression unchanged. “He’s managing his responsibilities. That’s what matters, professionally.”

Professionally.

Your throat tightened. It wasn’t cruelty, it wasn’t even dismissiveness. It was actually something worse. Complete detachment. Like he was describing a machine or a file. Something clinical and expendable.

He's managing his responsibilities.

You looked at him, really looked at him, and suddenly wondered what kind of man could say that without blinking when someone was falling apart right in front of him.

Your vision blurred, tears were coming on. 

No. No. You would not cry in front of this man.

“Thank you,” you said quickly, voice catching. “That’s all I needed.”

You turned before he could see your face and walked out fast, heart pounding, your breath tight in your chest like something trapped. You didn’t let go until you reached your car, didn’t breathe or blink. And then you climbed into the driver’s seat, keys forgotten in your hand, sobbing quietly into your palms. Just for a moment. Just long enough to try and pull yourself back together.

She didn’t slam the door when she left. She was too composed for that, too careful. But he could still hear her footsteps -- fast and clipped as they retreated. And then, silence.

Jonathan sat perfectly still in his chair, watching the space she’d just occupied. His fingers rested on the arm of the chair. The faintest twitch at the knuckle.

She almost cried.

He hadn’t meant for that to happen. But now that it had, he felt… disappointed. Because he wanted her tears. He didn't care about sympathy or connection. He'd wanted them because they would've meant he mattered. That she felt something, and he was the reason for it. Instead, she turned and fled before he could see what he’d done.

She broke, but she didn’t let me witness it. And that, somehow, was worse.

She'd surprised him when she came in asking about Ares. About changes she was seeing, concerns she had. It was the kind of conversation that would have most people softening, empathic. Most people would've offered comfort, reassurance, some lie designed to stabilize.

He had merely offered the truth. He’s functioning. Because it was accurate. It was both clinical and measurable.  And yet it wasn’t what she needed. That mattered more than he wanted it to.

Jonathan reached for the drawer, the envelope. The necklace was still there, almost coiled in a perfect little spiral, like a thin, golden question mark.

You almost broke.

And it wasn’t the kind of break he saw every day. This wasn’t fear nor submission. This was personal.

Jonathan leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He’d accomplished what he set out to do with Ares: confusion, doubt, stress. The man was coming apart. His credibility was strained and his focus slipping. One of the biggest side effects Jonathan was now seeing was the dulling of the man's instincts.

He'd intended to push harder this week, to deepen the manipulation. Accelerate the decline. But now…

Now she was part of the equation. If Ares fell too fast, she’d turn away from him completely. But if he suffered just enough, just visibly, she'd stay concerned, connected.

Jonathan slowly opened his eyes, his gaze shifting with a newfound clarity. Ares was no longer the target of his obsession. He’d already positioned himself to take over the moment Ares finally fell. The man’s reputation, his authority, his title -- it was all within reach. But that was no longer enough. The man’s career wasn’t the only thing he wanted.

She had become the fixation. Not because she resisted him. Not because she feared him.

But because she didn’t.

She looked at him like she saw something human beneath the cold. And that he wouldn't tolerate. She made him feel real.  And now he needed to control how.

She wasn’t just an observer anymore. She was part of the system now, inside it, unknowingly entangled in the very design he’d built to break someone else.

This time, he wasn’t going to let the variable walk away.

She was sitting under a tree when he saw her again, now in their senior year of high school. 

Jonathan had cut across campus to avoid a cluster of students outside the back of the building. It was warmer than usual for late October. The leaves hadn’t finished falling yet.

She was reading. That same girl, still perfectly still. Her hair was a braid down her back. Paint smudged the sleeve of her cardigan. She always smelled faintly of turpentine and citrus, he remembered that clearly. He remembered everything.

He didn’t speak to her. He stood behind a tree at the edge of the path, out of view. Watched her tuck her feet beneath her and tilt her head when she turned a page. There were headphones in her lap, but she wasn’t using them. Just… listening to the world. Present.

She didn’t look around and didn't scan for threats. She never acted like someone who’d ever looked at the world through fear.

How?

He hadn’t spoken to her in nearly four years. They hadn’t shared a class since middle school chemistry. But he remembered the way she made him feel, the absence of rejection. The weightless calm of being seen without being dissected. It had never happened before. It hadn’t happened since.

Jonathan watched her for twelve minutes and forty-two seconds. Then she laughed. Not loudly or theatrically. Just a single breath of sound, hidden behind the book’s spine.

And that was the moment he knew.

She was the only one who who sees me… without shrinking. And I need to understand why.

Jonathan didn’t work the rest of the afternoon. Oh, he looked busy. There were papers stacked neatly, notes scribbled with precision, reports reviewed and re-sorted. But none of it registered and not a single bit of it mattered.

She’d walked out of his office on the edge of tears, and he didn’t like it. Not because he cared, he didn’t. Not in the way people meant when they said it. He wasn’t moved by emotion. He didn’t comfort and he didn’t feel in the ordinary sense.

But he felt... cheated. She'd almost broken. And he hadn’t been able to observe the result. She had the audacity to hold it together just long enough to escape him. To keep that vulnerability to herself. There'd been no opportunity to see them, analyze anything. It that bothered him more than he expected.

Her distress had stayed with him longer than he expected. Tugged at something unclassified.

You almost cried. And it was because of me. Because I gave you nothing at all.

The envelope with her necklace still laid on his desk and he fished the broken chain and pendant out. The gold heart caught the light from his lamp, glinting like it remembered her skin. He turned it over once between his fingers. Then again before setting it down.

She was supposed to look at me. Not break in front of me and disappear. Not walk away like I wasn’t even part of the story.

Jonathan needed her to return to the narrative. Not as a spectator but a full participant.

Ares was serving his purpose. The doubt was seeded, the staff had started whispering. But if the man collapsed too soon, she’d pull away completely and distance herself from the fallout.

Jonathan couldn’t risk that. He needed to stabilize. Briefly. Ares needed to appear to recover. Just long enough for her to relax, let her guard down. To need a tether.

And Jonathan would be that tether. Or...

He stood and crossed to the cabinet by the window. Inside, behind folders and staff files, he pulled out a second binder. This one labeled with a single, bold word: ADMINISTRATIVE. He flipped to the page marked “Succession Protocol.” 

Chief Administrator must display psychological stability, leadership continuity, and staff confidence.

Jonathan smiled faintly. He already had two of the three. The third was a matter of time. But Arkham didn’t need a leader. It needed an architect. It’s structure was designed to contain madness…By people who don’t understand it. They catalog symptoms. He understands causes. They sedate. He cures. 

Becoming Chief Administrator wasn’t about prestige or politics. It was about environmental control. Turning Arkham into a space where his methodology, the exploration of fear, the dismantling of illusion, the transformation of identity, could thrive without restriction.

His research had cost him everything once. Administering his fear compound on live human subjects had gotten him dismissed from the university. Labeled unethical and dangerous. They called it a breach of protocol.

He called it progress.

Arkham wasn’t just a facility. It was freedom. A closed system with a captive audience. A place where fear could be weaponized and studied without interference. This time with no board or oversight. No leash. Here, he could build the perfect test bed for his work -- and the perfect mask to carry it out.

I don’t want to work for Arkham. I want Arkham to become what I am.

And she didn’t fit into that vision. She wasn’t like the others -- staff who played by rules, patients he could study, administrators who feared liability more than truth. She was the unpredictable wild card. Unafraid. Worse, she felt things deeply, loved too hard, trusted too easily. Even now.

She wasn't in the system, but she moved through it, untouched by its weight. And somehow, that gives her power I can’t quantify.

That made her a threat. Because when Ares fell, and it was only a matter of time, she could still remain. Asking questions. Looking way too closely at the fractures he so carefully crafted. If she started pulling at the seams, the illusion would tear. And this only worked if everyone believed it happened on its own.

Her grief could raise suspicious. Her insights could make her dangerous to his plans. Her presence alone could slow down what Arkham needed to become.

Arkham must reflect me. And she? She reflects something else entirely. Warmth. Memory. Balance. The last human thread.

He didn’t know whether to erase that…Or claim it. Jonathan had two options. 

Erase her and remove the variable. That eliminated the unpredictability. It was clean and logical.

Or he could claim her as he was claiming her fiance's career. Draw her closer, control the outcome, and let her grief fold into something he could shape.

Erasing her protected his plan. Claiming her made it personal. She didn’t fit into his vision either way.

But he wasn’t ready to lose her either.

His decision was made. Returning to his chair, he took a seat and reached for a blank form. Not for a patient record or a report, but a plain piece of paper. At the top, he wrote her name -- Observation/Engagement Strategy

Below it, in his best handwriting, he outlined the plan:

Minimize visible stressors on Ares -- 10-day stabilization period

1. Introduce neutral conversation with subject (off-premises recommended)

2. Identify shared emotional language

3. Establish controlled emotional connection

4. Observe: grief response, protectiveness, trust tendency

5. Adjust role in narrative accordingly

At the bottom of the page, he paused. Then added one last line.

What would it take for her to trust me?

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Do you sell versions of your embroidery designs? I'm obsessed with your Solas patterns and would love to try them!

Hello!

So, short answer is yes, while the first digital mockups I made were designed just for my own reference and as color guides for transferring the designs painstakingly by hand, I ended up going back to them and turning them all into digital vectors. This means they can be printed onto transfer paper or directly onto stabilized fabric for stitching, which is MUCH easier than drawing by hand. Lots of people asked me if I could sell the designs so I figured this part out and was able to test it myself--the tower embroidery was an example of printing the vector directly onto the fabric and worked out great!

(above: tedious hand-drawing process for the Hierophant design, vs my failed attempt at transfer pencils that did not work at all for the Tower, vs printing directly onto fabric which did work in the end)

Long answer is after I did that, I uh, never figured out how or where to list them for sale online. Or what all to include with them--like what level of written instruction to include, should i also make notes on the thread colors I picked, should I include my colored-in-versions as color guides or just let everyone free-for-all it, in the case of the Tower embroidery i also hand-dyed a lot of grey thread that was crucial for it coming out how i wanted it to look--is it deceptive to sell a pattern when other people can't necessarily recreate it the same way because of that? Should I list in general the dye instructions if they wanna recreate it, or for people who want some of my extra thread or for people who don't have an inkjet printer so can't print the design onto the fabric themselves, should i think about selling full "embroidery kits" that include the printed pattern sized for a display hoop and the thread needed? etc etc etc

(above: photo of the color guide I made myself with tentative thread color selections (warning NOT the ones I actually ended up using), photo of my pile of threads I picked from, and photo of some of the threads I ended up dying myself to get closer to the design I wanted)

Anyway that was all a lot of thinking and work to do, so i put it off!!! and uh here we are 2 years later and I have still not posted them anywhere. I really gotta get around to all that still...

But in the meanwhile, if anyone reading would like a pattern, just let me know directly what you're looking for and I can save the versions of the files as needed for your plans and send them over. like for a digital only version (so no threads or me printing for you) i would probably make a zip file with a transparent png of the design (so you can put it in a word doc to print at whatever size you desire), as well as a pdf with a few copies of it already pre-sized for a display hoop for ease of printing or transfer, the colored-in version i used based on the tarot cards, photos of my finished versions, etc (note to self i must remember to include the design both normal for direct printing and horizontally flipped for anyone who plans to use transfer paper for it since those are mirrored...). Oh and a quick explanation of how i managed to get my fabric through a standard printer if you wanna try that.

But yeah i'm happy to work out something with kofi or paypal or venmo and sell the digital ones for like $20 each or something for now, if you don't mind not having written step-by-step instructions accompanying the patterns and example photos. Or if anyone has suggestions on where to host them for sale, for someone not interested in maintaining a dedicated storefront like etsy or storenvy long term. Maybe Gumroad? If i stuck to digital-only sales something like that might work. I'm open to input for sure. If you want something more than digital like a pre-printed fabric (since it's kind of weird to do yourself), I'm still open to trying, it just would be a little more $ to account for the fabric/stabilizer and cost of shipping, and probably take me a few more days to do.

(above: example of finished DA themed embroideries)

But regardless, thank you for your interest at all!! I'm so glad people have enjoyed my embroidery series :) While I'd love to make lots of copies to sell to whoever wants one, I simply don't have the time, and they are SO labor intensive to make it really is like 80-90% of the cost is manhours. I spend anywhere from 5-15 hours making the patterns and vectors, but the stitching and rest of it itself is easily the bulk at 40-100 hours depending on complexity and number of threads used. So WAY more feasible to sell the patterns than make more to sell myself, and then anyone willing to put in the time can have one too :)

[feralcatalyst]

Do you have any tips for drawing?

Never stop. Just keep drawing. No matter what your evil brainworms whisper in your ear, no matter what the public or the internet says about it, no matter what you do, do not stop. Take breaks, of course, stretch and refresh yourself with water, but never GIVE UP on drawing. The more you do it, the more you study and watch and learn and the more time you spend actually drawing, the more progress you will make. Hitting a wall? Does what you draw look bad to you? That's GREAT!!! Study what you made, and figure out WHAT and WHY it looks bad to you. Are the eyes wonky? Get to the grindstone and study different styles of eyes, from toony, to realistic, find something that looks and feels good to you, and practice practice practice. Is the hand looking off? Look at your own hand! Look at hands other people have drawn, study and watch and learn and replicate, even tracing and reference is okay so long as credit is given when and where necessary! As long as you are taking steps to learn what you are doing *wrong* then eventually you will find solutions and ways to make them look right! It may take you days, weeks, months, even years, but if you never give up, you will eventually continue improving. My personal art history below the cut for context, I hope it helps and brings some form of inspiration to everyone, even non-artists trying to learn or get into hobbies or new skills <3

I've been drawing ever since I could hold a pencil, so let's say since I was about 2. No one taught me how to draw, as I aged I started to notice that things were 'wrong' with my art and I would work to fix them. I realized very early that most animals don't have 4 legs on one side, so I'd draw two legs and add the "missing" two behind them, I saw the sun did NOT in fact wear sunglasses or have a face so I stopped with that childhood trope, I drew and drew and drew the things I loved the things I wanted the things I found beautiful cool or mysterious. (Dragons and yoshi's...) I was easily the best artist in my elementary school and I won some award for a recycling calendar our whole grade submitted art to.

I started growing up into a cringe teen that loved wolves and anime and emo skater aesthetic. My focus went from free-handing art to learning to do "real" practiced and professional style art, IE sketching the drawing in pencil and then lining it in ink, and then coloring it with colored pencils. I got my first drawing tablet around 13, when i was also old enough to join deviantart. I made fanart for everyone that reached out to talk to me, I drew characters I wasn't used to drawing, I wanted to make people happy so I drew and drew and drew for my friends and artists I looked up to. I started drawing fanart of my favorite tv shows, I dabbled more and more into digital art and I was BAD but I kept at it. I didn't let my mediocrity stop me. I knew I would never get better if I didn't at least TRY. There are no failures in art, only happy accidents. The only time you 'fail' is when you refuse to stop trying. But you can pick the hobby/job/skill back up whenever you ARE ready to try again. It's never lost to you.

Then I got into a car accident at 16. I had a concussion and a traumatic brain injury. I was injured severely enough that I had to relearn how to do… Well almost everything. I had trouble walking, speaking, playing games, and worst of all for me at least, drawing. I couldn't do it anymore. The wires in my brain weren't bridging the right connections anymore, trying to draw was like trying to speak a different language and no matter how hard I tried everything I had in me was just…. gone. I had to start from scratch, a blank slate but this time I had everything going against me, a brain that struggled to remember retain information and learn, and a body that struggled to move and react as I intended. I was so depressed, it took almost a year to get back on some semblance of improvement, and just as I stubbornly refused to stop drawing, I stubbornly forged my path forward. I got into a new fandom, started seriously practicing the human form since before then I'd only focused on animals and fantasy creatures. Yeah I sucked, my anatomy was shit, my understanding of the body the facial expressions perspective it was all off. But I kept doing it.

I started drawing smut when I was 18, it helped me immensely in practicing how bodies could interact, what made poses or people feel rough or stiff, I studied porn and cgi and famous smut artists, i took time to learn what I liked about it, what was right but looked wrong, what was wrong but looked right, how light and textures were supposed to look, I had no obligation to improve I just wanted to. I had striven to keep going and make small steps in the right direction, taking time to study all my old pieces and figure out WHY they were bad, all the things that were WRONG, how how I could edit or fix the issues to a point where I would deem it acceptable. I never deleted any 'finished' works. I can still access my art from when I was a cringe tween, I can see my mistakes from every year I was active on the internet. I also did my best to not self deprecate, I would objectively critique my abilities and pieces and not take any feedback negatively no matter how harsh or scathing it may be. If someone had a strong enough opinion to voice it then I should have a strong enough backbone to listen and hear them out.

I started taking commissions once I felt comfortable in myself and my abilities. I never turned a commission idea down (Unless it was genuinely unethical) and used every opportunity to give MY BEST to my clients. Even if it was content I did not enjoy or characters with complicated designs or anatomy, I vowed to TRY and give my best and if I didn't know how to do or convey something I studied whatever it was until I felt confident enough in my understanding and embraced the challenges as they came. Study, learn, draw, reflect, redraw, rinse and repeat. Never give up. Try new styles. Try new mediums. Just keep trying! Do and do and do and see and watch and study and keep going.

[unknownhyperial]

Being reminded about my first attempt at a TADC Au made me remember that I said I'd post it back in March a month after I stopped actively making it.

So let me rectify that right now :]

NOTE: This AU is a scrapped idea that I'm taking apart and reusing for the Company AU and Survival Isles. I just wanted to showcase the original concept sketches for an AU because although I don't like them at all anymore they are rather silly.

Now, allow me to introduce The Amazing Digital Dollhouse! (I am amazing at names /s /silly)

I never finished Caines design. I think at that point I gave up on the AU because I realized I had no idea what I wanted to do with it and it no longer scratched my brain like it used to

It never really had a plot? My basic idea for it was that instead of a circus they lived inside a doll house. Like, an actual doll house. There was an opening in some of the rooms that just led to a vacant dark void that made them feel constantly watched. I made Pomni into an small wooden doll that I used to see at my old local library when I was a kid. Had this entire idea that because she had ball hands she couldn't figure out how to pick up stuff for the longest time (even tho this is a digital VR thing still) until one day she accidentally managed to snap an item she tried to grab into her hand as a way of holding it.

Gangle possessed a barbie like doll because it made her feel more stable which I thought was neat. Jax lost his arm at some point (cant remember why) and so Zooble helped him get it replaced with one of those sticky hands.

They all also had circus roles and acts like in Freakshow, but I don't really want to delve into that part because it was complicated.

Never got around to drawing them much outside of a few doodles in a sketch book (this AU did cause me to start shipping ragapom though) and one sketch concept of them baking together as a group. I only have one sketch from that because I never finished.

Obviously there was a lot more to the story then just them living in a dollhouse but I made this actively in February and forgot majority of the lore at this point.

I genuinely thought I made this AU in March but my files say February so thats why they all look a lil ugly 👍

[periwinkla]

Your art is so soft and lovely and I am always stunned by the softness and the colours and everything T_T. If you don't mind sharing, do you have any tips for someone who has just started drawing?

Anon!!!! ;-; !!!! Thank you so much!!! ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

Well... that's a hard question, so I'll divide it into points: -First of all, HAVE FUN!!! If you don't have fun with it, it's pointless! Stressing about 'getting better' will hinder your growth. And you won't *ever* be able to make what truly feels like 'you'. Also, when you LOVE something, the strong and positive emotion will help you remember what you learn (it's a psychological fact - I actually used it when teaching kids, I acted silly while I was explaining things because laughter would help them remember). -Observe the world around you. How things are made, how and why they have the shape they have. The way colors transition into one another in a sunset, or on a leaf, or even on your own skin. -Your art grows with you. As you experience new things, your art will grow. As you meet people, visit places, observe the world. As you grow as a person, you will find new things, new ideas and emotions you want to express via your art. -Your hobbies/the things you like influence what you draw. This is something I only noticed lately, but when I was a kid (elementary school age), I used to watch my sister play videogames. One of the first ones was FF X, and if you know the suteki da ne scene, you will get where my sappiness comes from. It's still my favourite animated cutscene of all time... just... the way the bodies move, it's so so beautiful.

-On that note, just because you're an artist it doesn't mean you can't get inspiration from things that aren't visual. Writing, music, etc... get inspiration from those also!

-You know the idea called 'consistent art style'? Well, hold it in your hand, look at it, and then defenestrate it. Outta the window it goes. Right now. -Keep a sketchbook! Why? Because that way, you can easily look back and see all the progress you've made! Your sketchbook can contain not only drawings, but also notes about stuff you learned, or maybe a cutout from something that inspires you... or even outfits, or swatches of color that you think look good together, etc. If you draw digitally, keep a digital sketchbook also (just make a folder and name the files p.01, p.02, etc. - maybe make a folder each year so that it doesn't 'burst' lol) In a way, a sketchbook is like a diary of your artistic life. -Keep a folder in your pc where you keep learning material, notes, or even art inspiration. Back it up every once in a while in case your pc goes kaput! NEVER forget to back up stuff.

Now this is for the technical stuff:

-Learn the fundamentals. Proportions of the body. Color theory. Perspective. <-these are the most important for now if you have just started drawing. There are many resources online, this is a list of useful links for artists of all skill levels, compiled by a wonderful soul: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_gg5Sdern2bn6wgfOh2xRrV8CwaVMIVBYvwSRfI6RCc/edit?pli=1&gid=0#gid=0 Personally, I used the following a lot: Figure drawing for all its worth by Andrew Loomis - book about how to draw the body (archive.org is your friend to find very useful pdfs) Proko and Marco Bucci - two artists on youtube I used to watch a lot during art school. I also used posemaniacs (a website) a lot. -Don't brush off traditional art. It's important you learn how real materials work. Especially with color! Pick three colors: magenta, yellow, and cyan (the primaries). Mix them up. Have fun playing with colors like kids would. Again, have fun! You'll learn lots. (Actually when I taught kids I did this. Also I picked a random colored pencil and asked them if there was more cyan or yellow or magenta in a color. That was particularly fun for them for some reason haha. And it's very VERY useful. Side note kids are so sweet I loved teaching them ;-;)

-On the topic of traditional art, please keep in mind pencils have different kinds of hardness (some draw bolder, some draw fainter) THAT MEANS that some might feel bad in your hand. As a general rule, I suggest not pressing hard because you might strain your wrist/arm, so I suggest something above a B (I personally like the 2B or 3B) but it depends on what feels comfortable for you. This might seem foolish but if it feels uncomfortable, you might draw worse than your potential if you use the wrong pencil for your hand. So experiment and see what feels best.

-Also if your body gets strained because you sit too much, consider drawing while standing up. It might be better. I personally only draw that way these days because of my health problems.

-Use references. Study them. Draw on top of them to understand the shapes of the body / object. Draw the subject again using those shapes. This is easier if you have a tablet obviously, if you don't you could either print them or use a fashion magazine or something like that. Sports magazines also, because you can learn how dynamic movement works.

^if this all seems overwhelming, do the following: get a reference, from anywhere you wish, and draw it with your favourite characters. There's nothing like obsession over some characters to learn how to draw. Trust me! :3c

Thank you again anon! And happy drawing! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[jedifieldnotes]

I think it's nekko time.

Last month I decided I wanted to doodle some nekkos. I could have just looked for game model pics or snapped images in game and strictly referenced those. But no, my creature designer brain wouldn't let me do that. I had questions about certain design choices and needed to find real animals to reference. I also questioned the use of "avian" to describe them on the Wookieepedia entry.

Cal and his homies.

First thing that bugged me design wise was the feathers (?) growing on the armor plates. I was like why? How? Then I remembered that some armadillos seem to have a bit of fur on their armor. I calmed down. (Still not nearly as much as nekko's seem to have growing, but whatever.)

Nine-banded Armadillo via Wikimedia

I drafted this before I got the art books and the nekko image used in the Survivor art book actually has a smoother plate edges and a hint of more armadillo like texture. So guess I nailed that.

My next beef was their goofy leg angulation. They have video game creature legs. So, I looked up ostriches so I'd draw my nekkos with slightly more realistic proportions.

source: PBS

I feel like their flightless bird proportions and feathers are about the only "avian" features these critters have. Apparently they also lay eggs, but I'd argue these guys more closely fall into the "reptomammal" category like a tauntaun.

I think ostrich feet a pretty obvious source of reference. But you could actually reference another mammal for something similar.

Llama's have great 2 toed feet!

Then we've got their heads. I think this is where they really lack any avian influence (other than the feathers)

I had to go find teeth to look at since I couldn't find anywhere that had a reference to their diet. I wasn't sure if they were herbivores or if they might actually be predators. Their knobby little teeth say herbivore to me.

Then I saw some animation of them eating off the ground, so that answered that.

I have not quite figured out wtf their ears are doing. The ears seem to curl and uncurl. When I looked up llamas for feet, I had a "hmm ears?" moment, but looking closer at the models I'm not sure about that. But they're obviously some big ears that are not avian at all.

I also think their snoots have a lip and not a beak, so no avian influence there. At first I thought about horses, but looking again I'm like oh, I think I've seen that profile and nostril shape/placement on rhinos.

Image by Joel Sartore

I am actually working on a bigger piece with multiple nekkos, but here's a digital sketch because I felt like I should have some art on this post. I pushed the ostrich on the legs by like...reflex. I'd like to play with more details on the face, but I picked a weird angle for that.

[cosmosnout]

KH OC WEEK 2024

Day 6: journal

Shiro

Shiro picked up keeping a journal from being around the apprentices during their time in the organization. It was also a way for them to ease their fear of losing their memory again, since at least this time they’d have something to help them remember and keep track of everything.

Their first entries were very systematic, listing important things and people to remember with occasional entries about the events of their day. (Their journal reflected their paranoia quite a lot)

Shiro has, however, later on managed to let go of their fear a bit more, which can be seen in their diary entries becoming more casual, with occasional doodles appearing on the pages. I definitely think Shiro would also keep whatever photos they've managed to acquire in their journal. Mostly photos of people's faces they'd wish/think were important to remember, with some scenic photos scattered in there.

This ended up being a fun call back to an old KH OC WEEK entry about the character hobbies, where I included that Shiro does journaling haha.

Aiko + Merin

Aiko’s journal is very much what you’d expect a teenage girl's private diary to look like. It’s a place where she’s free to ramble on about whatever comes to mind and vent out her feelings when needed.

She tries to write down the important things happening during her journey, but she tends to end up sliding into another topic without thinking.

Merin’s part in Aiko’s journey comes mostly from her asking Aiko to write down things they need to remember for their adventures and from being quite the popular topic in Aiko’s personal ramblings. They’ve also come to use the diary as a way to talk indirectly when they aren’t able to find the right words while speaking face-to-face. (Imagine them sliding the notebook back and forth across the floor to each other after an argument bc they’re both too upset to look at one another LOL)

Viktor + Tähti

Viktor’s journal is actually just his sketchbook, which he occasionally writes important notes on. Otherwise, the book is filled with pictures and drawings rather than words. Viktor is also quite protective of his sketchbook (as any artist is) and doesn’t really like sharing it with others. He does, however, agree to write down some important things for Tähti and sometimes allows her to draw on some of the pages.

I like to think he later on upgrades to a digital tablet, where he’s able to have a proper catalogue of everything important he’s been able to learn during his adventure (similar to Jiminy’s journal) while also being able to use it for his art. iPad kid LMAO

Other

And funny enough, I don’t think Merin or Tähti would be too keen on getting their own journals later on during their journey since they’ve gotten so used to their arrangement with the siblings.

And also for clarification, since I haven’t yet posted the earlier prompts, the reason the kiddos are sharing their journals in these specific pairs is due to them getting separated from each other in those pairs. Neither Merin nor Tähti had journals to begin with, so they just opted to use the ones Aiko and Victor had.

Also a fun little detail is that Shiro’s journal is purposely made to look similar to the book of prophecies.

@khoc-week