#i just really enjoy making matching sets. something about that is very satisfying to me

[batfossil-fr]

Which of your dragons would you say is your most favorite, and why?

this is a very tough decision...

I think most favorite has to be Cup, he's just my silly guy. I adore his colors and his eye matching and even though I really don't have much planned for him, I feel like he's just my FR icon at this point (literally and figuratively). my FR-sona. my guy

but I have so many honorable mentions after him, putting together a strict top 5 list of favs would kill me. so consider these guys all tied for #2

Cozan/Chaxu, Molossus, Aixide, Dyhemo, Rodinia, Pajiha... etc etc etc

[zykamiliah]

So we know SQQ uses The Wives/The Women as a stand-in to talk around his attraction to Binghe, but another thing SQQ does is use the Original Shen Qingqiu as a way to talk around his own personality, (negative) emotions, and even self-esteem, either by contrasting himself against him, or by finding similarities. It makes a lot of sense, since he's inhabiting the body of the original, the person he needs to, to a certain point, imitate to survive.

From the very beginning, SQQ finds similarities between o!SQQ and him, and says he doesn't get why someone with reputation, good cultivation and the biggest sect backing him up would be so envious of other people's potential to the point of scheming against them. The Original Shen Qingqiu was not satisfied with the things he has and instead of idling his life away, like Shen Yuan in his previous life, he's digging his own grave.

When rummaging through the carriage interior, SQQ finds a lot of stuff that was frankly unnecessary to take on such a short trip, like "five or six different tea sets". And noting this, SQQ thinks,

No matter that in his past life he could have counted as a wealthy second-gen, he still hadn’t been this pointlessly indulgent in his pursuit of first-world affluenza, okay? (Chapter 1: Scum)

He's saying, "unlike him, i wasn't needlessly indulgent".

Another example is when he compares his own competency to that of O!SQQ. He does this a few times in the first volume.

The original Shen Qingqiu’s skill at facing down demons should have made this quest as easy as killing a chicken with a knife. Shamefully, the knife had failed to even hit the chicken. In seconds, Shen Qingqiu discovered something that made his mood even worse. (Chapter 2: Mission)

In other words, "unlike the original goods, I am so uncool right now". But the best thing about this part is that... it puts SQQ in a bad mood. I want to call attention to the fact that he feels shame for failing, for being being weak when he should be strong. Shame doesn't come out of nowhere.

Rereading this volume and noticing this few hints of his character and emotions really challenge the notion that SQQ/SY is just an easygoing person. There's a lot of mental gymnastics being performed so he doesn't have to confront his own emotions. If the unreliable narrator tells me he's easygoing, should I believe him? I am questioning everything he says until it's confirmed by his actions.

Now, going back to how he uses o!SQQ to talk about his own competency, and most important, how he feels about being competent, strong, etc.

Surrounded by the cheers of the sect’s disciples, Shen Qingqiu attained a complete victory in the first match.

At this moment, Shen Qingqiu realized why the original flavor had clung to being a poser like it was his lifeline—it was unbelievably satisfying. (Chapter 2: Mission)

Why is it so hard to say "being cool feels so so good"? Being admired, strong and capable is something he comes to enjoy, and I wonder about Shen Yuan, and what was his life like. Why does he have to use o!SQQ to open a sentence about why being "a poser" feels good. He won't say he himself is a bit of a poser, or that it feels good to be cool.

The original flavor pushed Luo Binghe onto the battlefield because he was shameless! He didn’t care about the sect’s reputation! He hated Luo Binghe to the bone, enough to want to vicariously torture him via the hands of demons!

The current Shen Qingqiu didn’t share any of those three motives! (Chapter 2: Mission)

SQQ is not shameless, in fact there's a lot of shame in him. He cares about the sect's reputation, even if he's been in PIDW for, what, a few months? And most of that time he spent it in a cave cultivating. I wonder why he latched himself to the sect so quickly? As if a part of him always wanted a place to belong to, be part of, play an important role, a place he could contribute to.

“Do you think that the burden of peak lord will be too heavy, Qingqiu?” asked Yue Qingyuan.

The original Shen Qingqiu would most likely have suspected that Yue Qingyuan was trying to undermine his authority or something of that sort. However, the current Shen Qingqiu knew that Yue Qingyuan was genuinely worried about him overworking himself and damaging his health(...) (Chapter 3: Favor Points)

He's saying: "unlike him, i don't misunderstand people", which is... clearly not the truth, but he doesn't know that. SQQ thinks he has a pretty good grasp about people's intentions and that he's good judge of character.

All that said, the quote that actually made me connect the dots about how SQQ invokes the original to talk around his own emotions is this one, when they're facing MBJ:

“Unusually inferior talent,” [Mobei-Jun] said. “Foundation and techniques inflexible. Leave.”

Shen Qingqiu said nothing.

He wasn’t some unmatched genius in the Human Realm, but his talent was still at least one in a thousand. And Cang Qiong Mountain’s foundation and techniques weren’t inflexible, they were orthodox! Mobei-Jun still described them as he would a pile of garbage. If the original Shen Qingqiu had heard this, he would have coughed up three liters of blood and run away crying to make a voodoo doll. (Chapter 4: Conference)

But wait, that first sentence kind of sounds familiar, doesn't it?

From early on, he’d known that even if he idled the rest of his life away, he’d never want for food. Perhaps due to this carefree upbringing, devoid of either competition or pressure, he came to believe that ranking in the top ten of a competition was good enough, so long as it had more than ten people. (Chapter 1: Scum)

He's saying "as long as I score among the best I don't have to be a top ranker". Like, if he's comparing himself to others, he won't feel bad because he's not at the bottom. He's average, and average is good, right? Like a "at least I passed the test, I don't need a top score" type of thinking. It feels like something he'd tell himself to feel better about his own performance.

The middle child, saying that as long as he has an average rank everything is fine? Hahaha. Yeah ok, Shen Yuan. (wtf are you hidinnnng)

But I want to draw your attention to this sentence

If the original Shen Qingqiu had heard this, he would have coughed up three liters of blood and run away crying to make a voodoo doll.

because it's so fascinating how SQQ is mentally incapable of admitting to himself that his pride has been hurt by MBJ's words. He feels insulted, and he channels that emotion by projecting his feelings on and picturing what the original would feel in that situation.

Oh, but zy, isn't this just SQQ's humorous running commentary on everything that happens to him? Maybe he's not really upset about what Mobei-Jun said about him having "unusually inferior talent".

Nope. He's really, really pissed off

Just as the sword array was about to come down like sheets of rain, Shen Qingqiu snarled within his heart.

I’ve done my best, but he still thinks I’m low-level trash, so what can I do?!

How loathsome! If I have to die, couldn’t it at least be in a better-looking way? After being stabbed with hundreds of black swords, I’m going to be a sieve! Who could bear to look?!

He SNARLED in his heart. MBJ didn't call him low-level trash, he did that himself. It pisses him off that he's going to die in such an uncool way that will leave him looking like an ugly bloody pulp.

Is this really a guy that doesn't care about his reputation or how he looks to others, that calls himself an "easygoing person"????

This is a guy that has had to repress every emotion related to his own pride and self-esteem. And this is something he was doing in his previous life. Again, what the fuck was going on with the Shen family?!

I don't think this is the way a man that is satisfied with his lot in life would think.

Shen Qingqiu was a man of few needs; he would have been satisfied just idling away to a ripe old age. In that way, it wouldn’t be that different from how his previous life had been going.

youre LIYING. I'm not going to trust anything you said about yourself EVER AGAIN. you were so satisfied to "idle your life away" you died from eating expired yogurt! you were clearly repressed and depressed and unhappy and pretending to be okay!

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

after last night

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

➷ Summary : there is something that Eddie couldn't find to forget about you after that night

➷ Word Count : it's one shot

➷ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, language, no use of y/n, Eddie and reader are both (21), I made a bestfriend character named "Alexis", SMUT‼️, p in v penetration, both receiving, unprotected sex, aftercare, alcohol consumption, establishing a relationship, Eddie is a player in the past! reader is just an amazing gal and Eddie is so an awe to her, that's it!

➷ What to Expect : SMUT‼️ and FLUFF! this is just literally hot steamy delicious smut really hehe, you'll see an worried Eddie here, this is set in Modern era but it still screams 1980's

➷ Note To Reader : basically, I am literally using my favorite artists songs into an Eddie fic at this point, DON'T Y'ALL LOVE THIS SONG?!? 😩🤌🏻

➷ Author Note : I can't believe y'all liked my last post "you ain't woman enough" I didn't expect all of you to enjoy it and I wasn't even satisfied with it but wow y'all reassured me it was okay! SO THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! 🥺🫶🏻✨

"I have plus one, you have to go with me!" Alexis holding up the two invitation cards with a look that says "please, I beg of you"

"I'll think about it" you glanced at her as you jotted down notes for tomorrow's class

"yeah, you'll think about it after a million years" she goes to your side and leans on the wall looking at you

You shut your eyes while you're holding both of your hands in front of you

You know she won't stop bugging you until you say "yes"

"Girl- please, this is Corroded Coffin! not anyone is lucky enough to be on their first music listening party!"

"Can't you bring someone who is dying to get there?" you mocked your reply to her as she rolls her eyes

"They don't matched my vibe and besides I love your company!"

"I may be loud, only to you but in that zone? I'll be sitting alone in the couch throughout the night"

She scoffs "Oh, please, you're so very well spoken once you get comfortable with the person you're talking to"

"it's not an immediate connection! I've had to warm up to them first" you say as your keyboard makes clacks sounds as you type at the background as her eye twitches in annoyance

"But-"

"It's lucky when something else sparked" you narrow your eyes at her as she huffs

"Come on! Please?!? it's only a few days left and we're gonna go home to Hawkins and we haven't tried or experienced something like this!"

You sigh without looking at her as you turned your head at her as she softly chants "please, please, please"

Wouldn't it hurt to have some fun for once?

"Alright! Alright fine! I'll go with you!"

"Yes! I knew you would come to your senses" She happily jumps and she hugs you and you chuckled as you roll your eyes playfully

"I'll go ready my outfit and you should too!" The smile is still intact to her lips as she takes her leave goes straight to her closet

You're so indecisive

You're so indecisive that you can't pick an outfit

"Oh my god, you've been staring at those three outfits for an hour!" Alexis exclaims at you in the reflection as she puts Velcro rollers over her hair

"Let me think"

"No- you can't think when you can't decide!"

"You're not helping, Alexis"

"Do you want me to choose for you?"

"No" you're staring so sternly at the two outfits

The colors are pretty much all black but the one outfit is a set of leather tube top and skirt with fishnet stockings and some edgy accessories, the next outfit is very dainty-ish top because of the ruffles all over the neckline with black ripped jeans, and lastly, it's literally the one you've been staring hard for too goddamn long

It's a black velvet dress, it screams "femme fatale" but still remains the elegance of the dress, it got a nice trim over the edges and it will fits you so well, it's a bit short since it ends just above your knees

The thing is that

The chest part design? is too revealing, it's a. cute strap sweetheart top and maybe, you'll be so overdressed since not only that is your problem

It's also backless

"If we come late to this party because of you, god- I forgot how hard it is for you to pick an outfit" she takes the cap off from the lipstick liner as she outline her lips, she's still talking to you at the reflection of the vanity mirror

You're thinking a lot of it deeply until you remembered something

You have this black glittery short blazer and this will be perfect with your black Stiletto Black Ankle Strap Pumps

"Wait- I got it" you snap your fingers, you raised the dress that you picked and Alexis squeals in excitement

"Oh my gosh, you'll look so hot!"

You chuckled as you shake your head

"Okay, so, there's Jeff the bass guitar, Gareth the drummer and-"

She turns off the engine of her car as she recites the band members names again

"Eddie, the lead singer and guitarist, yeah- I know" you tug up a smile at the end as she beams at you, she claps her hands

"Well, look at you! you remember it!"

"Of course, I remember it, you keep yapping about them all day to me"

You both get out of the car as she rolls her eyes at you, she locks the car as both of your heels starts clicks the pavement

"Do you listen to their music?"

"I did"

"I thought you didn't like that kind of music"

"Alexis, I just don't have the time to listen to it that doesn't mean I don't like it"

"But you did listen to it?"

"Some of it, yeah"

"It's really good, right?"

"Yeah, it is"

Once you both got in the front, the door swings open a curly short haired boy with red checkered vest and a black denim pants happily greets

"Hey there, baby!" He opens up his arms as your bestfriend rans into him

"Gareth!"

"How are you?"

"I'm good"

"Let me take a look at you"

"You're so stunning!"

The boy is grinning very widely at your bestfriend as you watch them both with a small smile at your face and when you and him looked at each other, your bestfriend introduced you

"Um- Gareth, this is my bestfriend in college and my plus one"

"Oh, hello" he offers his hand for you to shake as you gladly accepted it as you say your name

"I think Eddie is going to like you"

"Excuse me?"

"Gareth! Don't start the traffic at the front door-"

He stopped when he saw his friend and you

"Oh hey"

You shyly wave at the young man behind Gareth

"This is Jeff!" Your excited bestfriend pulls Jeff out as they both share a laugh

You shake hands at Jeff "Nice to meet you"

"You too"

You're amused at how Jeff kicks Gareth inside as you both walked inside of the house

They act like silly little kids that you almost forgot that they're famous rockstars

Now, you can feel little by little that your shy demeanor is fading slowly

"Isn't that right? Jeff?" Gareth asks as he throws his arms around at your bestfriend

"Right about what?" Jeff stand beside you as he furrows his eyebrows at his friend

"That Eddie will like her" Gareth points at you and Jeff looked at you with both of his eyebrows raised

"Yeah, definitely" Jeff says with his eyes wide as you get even more confused why they keep saying that

"Where is he? anyway?"

"You know Eddie, he's always late" Jeff crossed both of his arms as he goes to the front facing the three of you

"Ladies, feel free to help yourselves at the food and drink at the table, I know y'all both starving" Gareth squeezes Alexis to his side as he joins Jeff walking into a different direction of the house, they both said they'll be back

"Okay, no wonder why you feel comfortable with them, I see, I get it now" you sigh as you smile in disbelief

"I told you so!" she giggles as she takes your hand leading you to the dining table

You both came in early, so, there's only a few people inside, there's a distant music playing at the background

Gareth is not lying to what he just said to the both of you that you just realized you we're indeed hungry until you eaten one of their meals

Ever since you started college, you haven't had a decent meal

Both of you are stuffed and full, you ask at the bar for a drink

"One bottle of Heineken, please"

"Me too!"

"Cheers to finding yourself a boyfriend"

You snorted but you shrugged "I guess, cheers to that then?"

"I haven't told you where I met them, so, I first met Gareth at a convenience store and I don't know something really else clicked between the two of us, so, we hang out and then he gave me an invite"

"So, this is the man that you're talking about since last week?"

"Yeah"

"And you're officially his girlfriend"

She blushes "yes"

"Wow" you take a swig of your drink as you turn away from your bestfriend

"What is it?"

"I'm happy for you, I really do, but it seems so fast?"

Before she can reply, "You know what, I'll stop being protective, I'm just concerned- that's all"

She smiles at you as she nods to your words

"You're just like him"

"Like who?"

"Eddie"

Oh, there goes that name again

"What about him?"

"He's a really really nice guy, I'm not even kidding! he's also a gentleman"

You piqued an interest to that as your bestfriend Alexis smirks at the look that you just gave her

Gareth calls out to her name but Alexis hesitates to leave you all alone

"You can go ahead"

"Are you sure? I don't want-"

"I'll be fine, Alexis, just also look out for yourself, okay? go have fun"

She sadly smiles as she hugs you before she left and went to his drummer boyfriend

You deeply sighs as you finish your drink, you decide to take a look around the house

The guests are growing bigger and bigger as you started strolling around in the place

Every inch of the house feels so expensive, it's spacious, the white and gold furniture and the paintings all over across the room, you like how it styled

Much to your fascination, you bumped over the person whose quickly running that you fall back down on the floor

"Shit, my bad- I am so sorry" he reaches out for you to hold his hand

You clutch at your chest and winced at how hard it is but you dismissive your hand anyways and took his hand

"I'll survive, don't worry about it" you give him a small smile as you got back up on your feet

The male chuckles, you take him in, his hair is long brown curl locks and slightly long bangs and he's wearing a black Ray-Ban sunglasses and a pair of Metallica muscle tee and leather pants and black boots

"Why are you in such a hurry, anyway?" You ask him, you dusted yourself off

He ignores your question instead he ask you this "Would you accompany me in there?"

You tilt your head at him and looked over the crowded room

"I-I wouldn't-"

"Please, it would mean so much to me?" he opens his arm for you to hold but you still hesitated but sigh in defeat as you take it

On the way there, he speaks up again

"Did you come here alone?"

"Uh- no, my bestfriend from college, Alexis, used her plus one on me, I think you knew her already"

He chuckles again "Oh yeah, Alexis, she's a fun gal, I didn't know that she has fine bestfriend"

You knit your brows together, the moment he turns to look at you and he smiles, you became shy under his gaze

"Have you met everyone?"

"Yeah, I met Jeff and Gareth, they're cool but-" you replied to him and you notice some of the guests that you both passed while walking are waving at him

Who is this person?

"I haven't met Eddie" you say as you watch him open the doors

The moment the both of you step inside and the people roared in cheer, you startled by the joyous screams of all the guests

He laughs as he turns around back at you and takes his glasses off

"You already met him, darling"

Oh my god

Oh my fucking god

Why are you so clueless? You've been with him?!?

He's THEE Eddie Munson?!?

You're stunned and your mouth is agape as you stare at him in shock

He smirks as he places his Ray-Ban sunglasses on top of your head as he hold the tip of your chin raising it slowly to meet his gaze

"I'll see you later, sweetheart" he winks at you as he turns his back at you leaving you completely speechless

You know Corroded Coffin

Of course, you know the band name members

Yes, you listen to their songs

But

You didn't watch their music videos that's why you have no idea what they're look like

You're so occupied with your set of tasks that you didn't have the time to look at their faces

There, you see him again, talking to somebody else as he glances at you wiggling his fingers as you cupped your mouth in embarrassment as you shyly wave at him

He chuckles as he goes back talking to other person

Alexis pulled your hand in the corner as you both giggled to each other

"Girl- oh my gosh, you did not just come in with Eddie!"

"I have literally no idea! Alexis!"

"See? I told you he'll like you!" Gareth came into her side as he holds a drink into his hand as he points at you

"He's probably not" you deny him as Gareth rolls his eyes at you

"It's clear as day that you came in with him!" Jeff exclaims

"I think he was just being nice because he accidentally bumped on me earlier"

Alexis covers her mouth as the three of them looking at the person behind you

"It's my fault, I know" he tuts as he slinks his arm around your waist, you're surprised at the sudden action before you can even look at the person behind you

You pursed your lips together as you look down

"Mind you if I steal her from you guys?" He pulls you to his side as your eyes go wide at your bestfriend

She raises both of her hands with her face that says "Sorry, I can't help you"

"Yes, by all means!" Gareth aggressively nods as he shoos the both of you away

Jeff flashes you an eat-shiting grin at you as Eddie starts walking while still holding you closely to him

"Uh- rude of me, by the way, I did not quite catch your name"

You tell him your name as he nods but not leaving you with a dashing smile

He walks you through his room and you suddenly immersed in it's glory

It's captivating and it's so like him

He closes the door behind him and you roam your eyes around the area

"Wow, your room is so amazing"

"Thanks, you know all of this I just saved a lot of money to get all of this stuff that I wanted- uh- what's your favorite part?"

You smile as you point out the biggest window, you've ever seen

"Oh, that" both of you walked closer to it

He sighs at the scenery outside "Same"

You took the sunglasses from your head that he placed before

He pushes your hand away and lets his hold linger in there

"Keep it"

One of the crew/staff member starts knocking at the door telling Eddie someone is looking for him and it's urgent

"Can you stay here until I get back? You can do whatever you want in here"

"Um, sure" you say and smile as you nod at him

Before he closes the door, "Don't go anywhere? Okay?"

You chuckled "I won't, don't worry"

It's been 45 minutes since he left as you glanced over the clock as you finished looking at his achievement wall and shelf, you shift on your stance as you decided to take off your blazer

You walked through his vinyl collections, you run your hands on it until you saw "Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" you picked it up and looked over the cover

You looked at the door for one last time

"I can wait for him" you shrug as you take the jacket off and holding the platter very gently as you placed it down and raised the tonearm needle and pressed the play button

A smile grows on your lips as you hear the familiar tune

Your head starts bopping and you sway your body into the song

"I'm sorry, I'm late, sweetheart" Eddie came inside of his room, finally, but you're so lost in the music

You didn't even hear the door click closed

You're about to see him behind you but you're still dancing into the song

Eddie's mouth slowly hanging open as he is so enthralled to what he is watching right now

You took the pin off from your hair updo as you shake your head slightly, so, it falls, god- his heart just dissipated

The soft smile from your lips, and oh so freaking gorgeous gorgeous dress and he just wanna take your hand and marry you right away

The moment you turned around you open your eyes, you saw him standing in there, you didn't see how he is so entranced by you

You laugh in shock as lovely gasp giggles that came out from your mouth as you held your chest and you threw your head back

The time felt slow as he just stands there

He never want this night to end

"Oh, you came back!" You say as your laughter died down

Eddie, come on, man, speak up, he blinks rapidly as he clears his throat as he shoves his hands into his pockets "Y-Yeah, I'm back" he winced at how he stuttered

"I hope you don't mind me playing one of your precious vinyls" you walk over through his vinyl player and you're about to stop the music until he grabs your wrists as he slowly reaches to hold your hand, you're now looking at him with your hair beautiful laying down on your shoulders

"Don't stop the music yet" he says as he beams up and tug you on the center of his room as you giggled in the process as he starts dancing with you

"My love is alive (woo)

Way down in my heart

Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand

I'll be there on the double

Just as fast as I can

Don't you know that there"

He takes you by his arms, he twirls you around, he held you close to his chest as he start making dance moves that will make your stomach hurt

He stares at you as you happily dance with a big smile on your face

He moves closer to you, you raised your eyebrows as he stops you from moving as he holds both of your forearms

Your eyes goes all over his face, you saw his eyes flit right back to your eyes and to your lips

He leans forward and then boom, he pulls you close to place a kiss on your lips, your eyes are wide but flutters shut as you cupped both of his cheeks as your lips moved along with his

The kiss was so soft and sweet until he walks forwards as you walked backward pinning you on the wall, he grabs you by the waist as you mewl into the kiss, you placed your palms over his shoulders as it slowly crossed your arms around his neck

He is now flushed into your body inhaling every scent of you, the both of you got out of breath as he starts suckling the skin from your neck and your collarbones

You tug at his hair as he groans, the music behind is now ignored and coming to an end, you hum at the sweet spot that he found earning a moan out of you

"Oh, you sound so good" his voice is suddenly deeper and lower than before

He caged you in the middle as he plant his palms on either side of your head as he licks his lips as he looks at you from up and down

You looked at him with those sickening eyes that he can't wait to see it squeezing shut from pounding at you so hard

You reached at his tattoos as you traced your fingers at them, he watches you intently, a sudden confidence went through you as you think of something

"Maybe, your friends will be looking for you?" You say without making your voice sound like a honey-glazed tone, you look over to his shoulder as he turns his head around it

"Nah, they won't be needing me-"

He stopped talking when he felt you putting something inside on his pocket

You smirked at him as he gotten amused as he reaches down and turns out to be your black laced panties his eyes almost bulge out of his skull as he raised it in front of you

You bat your eyelashes on him acting all coy and innocent as he bits his bottom lip

"Real smooth, princess"

"I don't know what you mean by that"

He scoffs as he chuckles while shaking his head, he clicks his tongue at the sight of you

He caught you off guard when he carries you by the hip, you shrieked at the action immediately as you wrapped your arms around his neck his free hand swiftly taking off his pants

Carrying you got your dress riled up in the process as he didn't waste a minute any longer, he didn't give you a time to adjust as he enters your hole and you feel him pulsing inside of you, you take a sharp breath as you close your eyes as you throw your head back

"Jesus fucking christ" he grunts as he starts from a slow pace until it becomes quicker

Making you a cockdrunk mess as you clench around him, you moan when he starts to get rougher, you hold him close tightly making him rest on the crook of your shoulder

You whimper "E-Eddie, oh- you're good" you kiss him again surprising him as he gladly kisses you back but this time it was more lustful and desperate as your both of your teeth clashed

You're sliding up and down against the wall as he fucks you deeper making you gasp as he hit the spot both of you are heavily breathing as Eddie's contorts into pleasure, the way your cunt swallowing him so easily is driving him nuts

"You're so goddamn wet" your breath hitches as you crossed your legs around his waist

He sheaths once more until you screamed as you came undone

You pant as he carries you again leading you into his bed, he takes himself out of you making you whine on the feel of emptiness, the male laugh as you huff and puff at him

He takes off your heels and his muscle tee, you used your elbows to move backwards at his bed

You're in awe at him completely naked in front you as he leans down his fingers playing the hem of your dress his eyes are asking for a permission as you hold a finger up

He watches you as you start to take off your dress, he gulped when he saw how absolutely eternal you are

All is bare on display for him

Only for him

Your shy demeanor came back when he looks at you like that but he removes that as he starts to kiss you once again, you yelped as you kiss him

While kissing you he is now positioning himself between your legs as he lets himself inside of you again

You moan into his mouth as he starts to goes lower until he's on your chest he places love marks all over it

He held your hips as he pounds into you harder, your mouth making an "0" shape as he smirks

Your cunt squelch as he pulls himself in and out of you, he pulls you down earning a high-pitched moan from you as he raised your one leg and as he plunges himself inside of you making your back arched

"W-where do you want me, sweets?" He says as he growl when you start clenching at him again

His eyes went bigger when you changed the position, now, you're on top of him

You move your hips keeping up the pace as you watch his eyes rolled squeezing it shut

"Inside of me, I need you to fill me up" it's the only you managed to say

He doesn't know if his mind playing tricks on him

Did you really say that to him?!?

Eddie became frantic as he can't bust inside of you just yet as you grin at him evilly

You roll your hips as your moan become louder and louder as Eddie starts to squirm beneath you

"Fucking hell, yes, use me- j-just like that" he reveled as he sits up holding you and pulling you closer to him

He kneads your breast as he watches you touching yourself down below making him groan

The bodies slapping is the most unholiest that you ever heard in your life as you kiss him while your hands went through his hair, you got him distracted by the sudden sweet sensation

As you can feel your body shaking and the heat forming and building up, he shudder when you pin him down on the bed, the mattress springs starts to squeak as you fuck him

Oh, he is a goner

You screamed in pleasure as he shoots his load inside of you, he didn't let you down as he fills you up into the brim, you can feel it dripping as you collapsed at him

Your whole body is spent as he chuckles lowly

You softly moan when he still fills you up as he moves his hips

Both of your body feels sticky from the sweat but you didn't mind and neither does he

You start to wobble as you remove yourself from his laying beside him as he smiles lazily at you

You gave him a sweet loving smile at him

"Was I good for you?" you ask him he doesn't missed the way your eyes flashes with wonder

He raised both of his eyebrows with a look that says "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I-I don't know what you, what you did, but you did it, girl, see- normally I don't stutter but you d-d-do it to me!" He loses it, he got frustrated to fix his words as he let it be

Ever since he laid his eyes on you, he is staggered by your beauty

You crack up a laugh that he wishes he could hear it forever as he pulls you beside him

You both stayed like that for a while as you can feel your heavy eyes begging for you to go sleep, Eddie slipped off of you as he wore his boxers and pulls in his drawer a clean cloth

He opens the blanket as he takes care of you nicely, you're appalled, really, you've never had this level of intimacy before, you blushed

He saw your face as he smiles, "You're so adorable, baby" he chuckles as you hide your face with both of your palms

He brings back the blanket to cover you as you went into your side again

He kisses the top of your head as you wrapped your arms around him

He massages your scalp as it lulled you to sleep as you drift away

Meanwhile, Eddie, saw a shooting star as he looks at his window, says a prayer and hope it comes true

You woke up in the morning and you're still in the same position as it was before, he holds you close to him, you stare at him, he is so pretty with his long eyelashes and specks of freckles across his face

You take his arm off of you carefully, you slide off from the sheets as you picked up the discarded clothes all over the floor as you start dressing up

You saw your reflection in the mirror

Wow, damn, you didn't really who were you last night

There's something about him and that made you feel, you sigh in content with a smile on your face

You saw what time it is as you quickly put on your heels but before you headed out to the door

You smile so fondly as you placed a kiss on his lips and into his cheek, you giggle quietly when it leaves a mark because of your lipstick that you put on earlier

But, of course, you kept his sunglasses

"I wonder what's gotten to them" Jeff sips his coffee as he writes a new song for the band

Gareth chows down his favorite cereal, it crunches as he speaks "I think I heard someone left earlier in the morning but maybe that's just-"

Both of them can hear the loud pats of his barefeet as he runs quickly into the kitchen, even they're aware of his incoming presence, they both still get startled by him

"Where is she?!?" Eddie's voice starts cracking up like someone killed his loved one, he appears with his maroon robe

"Who?" Jeff takes a full gulp from his coffee as he analyzes his friend

Gareth still munching onto his cereal as he furrows his brows in confusion

"Her! Th-The girl with Alexis yesterday!"

"Oh, her" Jeff flashes a teasing wink to Eddie as his face drops in annoyance

"I think she left, Eddie"

"When?"

"Earlier in the morning, I heard the front door and gate opened"

Eddie starts pacing around at them back and forth, Gareth and Jeff eyes followed him as they both looked at each other because-

Eddie is only behaving like this when he doesn't have no idea for D&D campaign, when he can't write a song or when something happened to his beloved guitar

"I-I need to see her again, I can't- I have to- I want to see her" he rambles into his friends

"Man, are you alright?" Jeff asks him as walks over through him with his arms crossed

"No, I am not- I just really want to see her-"

"Gareth, do you have Alexis phone number?"

He nods but his expression changed as he remembers something, he even stops mid-chew

"Oh god, what does that mean?!?"

"She told me that they're going home"

"Home?!? Where?!?"

"She doesn't say, dude, they're college students, I think they're just here for it"

Eddie's eyes became glassy as he goes down and sat on the floor

Jeff slowly turns his head to Gareth with a face "Are you seeing this?!?"

"My life is over"

The line alone grabbed the both men's attention to him

"It's over, I'm finished!" He throws his hands up as he runs his palms through his face

Jeff squatted down in front of him as he hesitates at first but went it with it anyways as he placed his palm over his shoulder

"What happened?"

"She changed the game, Jeff"

"Ah" he shows a knowing look to Eddie making him huffed as rocks back and forth

Whining as to why you left all so sudden?!?

But, he knew you'll left sooner or later but not like this?!?

He has literally no idea where you from, he doesn't have any single contact that he can reach you, the worst fact is that

He doesn't even know where you are

Do you think of him like this?

Did you like him? Or was it just a one-night stand with you?

Do you also hope that you both shared the same feelings like as he did?

Do you wonder what he was doing after last night?

3 weeks had passed

A frown is evident on your face, but, sure, you already knew the moment you stepped on that line, you shouldn't be surprised when tabloids and it's all over the news about the headline

"A player rockstar"

You we're elated with him and your mind won't shut up thinking about him all the time ever since that night

It couldn't get any worse when you overheard other people talking about him, the radio, the television, the posters that are smacked every inch of the building you passed through, the billboards you saw, he is everywhere, everywhere you go, everywhere you went, even if you're so far away from him now, you can't never avoid him if you try

A part of you hoped and wished that he somehow also felt what you feel for him

You cursed through your breath when you forgot to left a phone number but you trash that idea since

He never asked for it

So, you left

"You wonder where he is now, huh?"

"Hmm?" You say as you play with his sunglasses that he gave to you

"Don't play coy with me, you know who I'm talking about" she saids as she takes a sip from her coffee

"He's probably with someone else now"

She scoffs as she leans down to narrow her eyes at you "Well, the people say he might be a player but you know all of this junk is false, you know they twist their words to make it sell, right?" She throws the clippings away from you as you released a deep sigh

A hope in your eyes are noticable as she smiles softly at you "How about you and Gareth?"

"We're doing great but we decided to take things slowly for a while, I took your advice"

"No, I shouldn't said anything"

"But I'm glad you did and you we're right"

You tug up a small smile on the corners of your mouth

"This isn't about me, it's about you, I may not knew Eddie that a lot but when he lets you hold him and didn't want you to stop to care for him? He is so madly in love with you"

"There you go again feeding my delusions"

"Look, I'm serious, just listen, Eddie loves you and you'll thank me later"

You let out a small chuckle "Okay, Alexis"

"There's someone for you at the phone" Jeff went into the studio room as he watches his friend tuning his guitar

"Who?" He asks

"Elizabeth?"

Oh

Oh, he remembers her all right, but he cringed as he looks at his friend as he slowly stands up and placed his guitar on the stand as he whispers

"Tell her that I am not home"

"Well, I'll be damned, that's the 4th girl that you just dismissed!" Gareth throws the music sheets as it flies everywhere making a mess as Eddie glares at him

"I don't want them in my life anymore"

Jeff studies his friend as he realizes that he is sooooo determined to see you again, if only, he can see you again

He knows that his friend won't stand for it, he won't stay still, he ain't gonna calm down until he reunites with you again

"Right, so, you just met some girl-"

"He is not some girl, Gareth"

Gareth knows he is already pissed, so, he held his hand up in surrender

The phone rings again and Eddie thinks it's the most annoying sound ever as the ringing tone bleeds through his ear

He stands up fast as he yanks the phone wire ending up breaking it as his friend's watches in shock as he threw the telephone across the room

"W-Why did you do that?!? That could be important!" Jeff walks over to the destroyed telephone as he goes to the kitchen awaiting for the next ring and Eddie is about to- but he stops him by holding his chest

He picks it up as he answers, "Hello?"

Jeff pinches his nose bridge as he grimaces at Eddie who is now wearing a smug look on his face

"Well?"

"It's Josephine"

Jeff is about to end the call but Eddie snatches the phone as he spoke

"Hello, dear, I'm sorry but stop trying to call me, Goodbye, don't ever call me again" he slams the phone back on its place

His voice is still remains the softness but it's firm dictating the words very clearly

Jeff raises his eyebrows he thought he'll screech at the young woman over the telephone but he didn't, he just politely declined whatever the girl wants

"Dude, look at him! Not a fucking single regret on his eyes" Gareth gestures his hands as he points out to Eddie

"I'm gonna throw out any phone if someone else tries to call me again, there's no player in me anymore, a-and it was dead ages ago!"

"But the media still thinks that you are" Gareth snorts but Jeff pokes his stomach with his elbow

"That's all some crap that they made up"

"What makes you think she'll believe you?"

"What?"

"If you ever encountered her again"

"Then I'll say the truth and that's the only night that I ever slept with someone for so long and I wouldn't join anyone in a bed or in a freaking house that isn't her"

Jeff nods along with a enigmatic smile on his face as Eddie shakes his head at him but he smiles

"I also wonder Alexis been doing, I haven't talked to her for a month?"

"Didn't you say they lived in a province? Or like a small cities?"

"Yeah? They could be everywhere in the world?!? I think she forgots to mention the name of their town, but wait- I think I saw her I.D hanging around her neck once, I took a glimpse on it"

Gareth pulls his brows together as he tries to remember the memory

Jeff and Eddie looks at him waiting for the anticipated answer

"Indiana? I don't know what part in Indiana?"

Eddie claps both of his hands, "we should make a tour over there and convinced our manager to make it happen"

"Why didn't you say this before?"

"Hey, Don't take this on me! I only just remembered it! y'all should be thankful that I can recall it"

The phone rings once again and Eddie is ready to yeeted it out of the window

Both of the men panicked as they rushed to Eddie to stop him by breaking another phone

"No- Eddie!"

"Stop!"

The boys we're surprised that their idea is acceptable

They toured on every part in Indiana, even he needs to rest and he needs to sleep but every show they did before and after, he never stopped looking for you anywhere

He has turned the whole places of Indiana upside down just to look for you

He finds nothing

No, sign of you anywhere

But, he's not giving up hope, he would rather die just to be with someone who isn't you

He would never ever date or marry someone else that isn't you

Eddie is now starting think that you might be not a human being after all, maybe, you're just this angel that came down or even a magical entity that came into his life and that's why you disappeared all of the sudden

He thanks himself for being so attentive with your friend Alexis as she talks about you to him before, you sounded so wonderful with her stories but meeting you in person? It's more fantastic

He went every record store in the place, he grows sadder when some other places didn't have any, he knew that you liked his vinyl collection, so, he supposed that somehow you we're there looking at the records

But as always the result is none

He is rooting for the last place that they'll visit

Even you don't want him anymore, he'll still be happy just to see you again for one last time

A bunch of youngsters are awestruck of the café that you and Alexis usual spot to hang out

"Do the people of Hawkins just finally realized that the coffee is good there or what?" Alexis says as she clutches her purse tightly as you both approach a sea of people

"What are they screaming about?"

Some adults overheard you as they replied "A rock band just visited our town are having a show at Hawkins High"

Your eyes light up of what you just heard "A rock band? Really?"

"Oh my god, me and my bestfriend went there to highschool together!"

"We have to grab a coffee, first, Alexis"

"I already feel so energized! I wonder who it is"

You murmur "Excuse me! We're passing through"

You both finally made it inside as you take your orders

Unbeknownst to you, a certain man on the other side is also drinking coffee

That's where all the noise coming from

A familiar laughter shoots through his core, oh boy, he felt weak in the knees as he heard it again

Despite the crowd being so loud, he still heard it

He thought was only hallucinating but he heard it yet again

Eddie turns around almost drops his cup of coffee as he shakily breathes

There you are with Alexis as you're about to leave as you take your coffee and a small paper bag

But, as soon as he gets up, the people are starting to get frenzy as the bodyguards couldn't handle the situation

He is stuck with all of the fans surrounding him

God, he is like fighting with his life at this very moment

He tries to walk ahead but no to avail as many people are dying to get close to him

Jeff and Gareth are politely telling people to give them personal space and to back off

They both follow their friends gaze as Jeff put hands over his head as Gareth eyes softens that he saw his girl again

"Please, don't leave!" He yells as he puts his hands on either side of his mouth as he shouts for your name

Making the crowd went completely silent, the rest of the people follow where he's staring at as you can hear the distant whispering

You froze as you stop your tracks to that voice

The voice that you thought you couldn't hear again

"They're here, I-I can't believe it!" Alexis sobbed as he saw Gareth who is teary-eyed

Eddie finally made his way over to you slowly as the people watch him, you're just about to turn around to face him

The second you looked at his eyes, your body shook that you can swear that Eddie can see it that you're nervous and confused

There's a unreadable expression on his eyes that you've never seen before

Maybe, you avoid yourself for letting him in, for staying in denial

But, the truth is, you still love him

"Hey, sweetheart, it feels so nice to finally see you again" He breathy laughs as he pulls up wide smile as his eyes goes all over your face

Your hair is different, shaggy haircut but still long, you're wearing a baggy long sleeve shirt as he can see the peek of your sports bra strap and denim skirt, a pair of sneakers but as always, you looked prettier on every kind of style

He had some changes too, I mean- he is always stylish but you didn't expect him to be even more confident, he wore a freaking mesh tee that you can see through his tattoos, he is so insane for wearing it and leather pants with boots

All you wanted to do is to throw yourself at him but you have a respect for yourself

You don't want him to give the satisfaction that he wants, so, you remained the wall that you build up

"Hello" you nod as you plastered a fake smile

His expression changes as he saw that you weren't pleased to see him again

But, then again, of course, why would you be happy

"Fucking tabloids" he thinks to himself

The swarming fans went wild as they tried to get to Eddie

Eddie jerks his head at the backdoor as you turn your head at it even you think if this was a bad idea to let him get into you again

Still, you want him to talk

The bodyguards blocked the way, so, both of you can have a privacy, you heard the people talking about you

"Who is the mystery girl?" As they all say

Alexis gave you an encouraging smile and a hug before she left you with him

She glares at Eddie who swallowed nervously

He tails behind your back as you went outside, he closes the door blurring out all the noise inside

He doesn't even know where to start as you wrap your arms around yourself ducking your head down, his hands are itching to touch you

"Uh, how are you?"

"I've been good" you lie, you missed him

He nods but if this painfully short conversation ends up like shit, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself, so-

"After that night" he brings it up, you get tensed as you look at his hopeful eyes

"I-I think I'm in love you" he said without a single trace of doubt on his voice

Your eyes are glistening to his confession but you take a step back at him as you slowly shake your head

"Eddie, y-you have a quite a reputation" you laugh in disbelief as you tried not to breakdown and cry Infront of him

Does that mean he felt the same way? Like you did?

He knows what you mean by that and he is never proud of it

He doesn't have anyone who looked at him in the way that you looked at him

They only want him because of his rockstar personality but you?

You're aware that he's a big artist in the industry but you treated him like he always wanted to be treated

Is to feel seen and you just interacted him not only he felt the connection but also spiritually

Meeting you was the best refreshing moments of his life

"That's all the in past now, please, I need you and I want you, can you just listen what I have to say?!"

"Are you doing this because you're already tired all of the girls that you have? Am I going to be one of them? No-"

"I tried to forget about you!"

He curses himself when he saw the hurt expression on your face

"I tried, I really really tried, I woke up in that morning and I don't even know what you did to me! I can't seem to get you out of my head!" He takes a step closer to you

"After that night, I don't know what to do with myself like how am I going to see you again?!"

That's how much he misses you? the tears well up in your eyes

Your chest tightens as he moves closer to you as he held both of your forearms

"I woke up every single morning and you're the only one who runs through my mind" he says to you very softly, a voice sounds so small and vulnerable

He cradles your cheek as swipes the fallen tear that runs down

You still haven't responded to him as he kept on going

"I'll give whatever you want, just say something, whatever you need, I'm going to give it to you and I guarantee that you'll be happy and I won't ever make you cry and feel hurt, we'll be together" he pauses as whispers the last line

"I-If that's what you want, if you'll have me" he rests his forehead against yours

"W-What a-about the girls?"

"Those days are over, baby, I only want you nothing more"

You quietly sniffle to his another confession as you look straight into his eyes

"And even you don't want me, I'll fucking die alone"

"Eddie- I"

"Also that night, I've never been with anyone else for so long that it feels like an eternity but when I met you, god, you change me, you put me on like I've never felt before and I still need more, I need you and I want you in my life permanently!"

It's true, his eyes fixed on you as he gauges for your reaction and verdict

"Sweetheart, I-"

You slam your lips over to his as he hums while kissing you back

Gosh, you both missed this

He cuts it off as he furrow his brows at you, looking at you in confusion

"Is that a yes?"

You let the happy tears fall as you hug him "Yes, Eddie, I love you"

You embraced him as you bury your face on his neck as you stand on your tippy toes

He sighs of relief as he carries you and circles you around as he pulls you back to kiss you once again

"I love you too so much" he says as you finally saw the glint of adoration on his eyes that you're terrified to see before

This time, he won't be worry not seeing you again

Because you'll stay forever with him on his side

Like you always wanted in the first place <3

[turtletaubwrites]

Parted Lips

This SFW oneshot was inspired by This Post by @hufflefluffy about how Sanji would be with someone who struggles with eating such as with sensory issues, eating disorders, etc.

That post made me so happy, so I wrote this fic about Sanji helping his crewmate who has severe chronic TMJ pain.

Pairings: Sanji x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1734

Ao3 Link

Summary: Sanji has made another meal just for you, but it's still too painful to eat. You open up to Sanji about your jaw pain, and he offers to help you work through it

Rating/Warnings: SFW, Fluff, Angst, they aren't together yet but there's tension, and it is mildly suggestive, Mostly just sweet Sanji being a lovely human, Chronic Pain, TMJ Disorder, Difficulties with eating such as chewing and appetite, Grief

A/N: I've been struggling with this, and this past year has been awful. Sometimes I couldn't even eat soft cheese. I'm so lucky that my partner is very much like Sanji, and has learned to cook things for me that I can enjoy, and held my hand through this. I hope we can all find that kind of support for our pain. 💜💜

“Mm, this smells amazing, Sanji.”

The bowl of stew he’d placed before you had your mouth watering the scent of the meat and spices making pleasant chills run over your skin. 

Sanji smiled as he sat across from you, and the sight of his own matching bowl made you frown. 

“Why are you having mine?”

“Oh, ma chérie, are you hungry enough for more tonight, I can make something else.”

With a heavy sigh, you leaned away, your small appetite growing smaller at your sour mood. 

“You know what I mean, Sanji. You don’t have to eat what I eat.”

His soft eyes made you tense up, reaching up to massage your cheeks.

“There’s nothing wrong with what you have to eat, Y/N. At least I hope not. Will you calm this poor chef’s nerves, and let me know how it tastes? 

Swallowing your self pity, you reached for the spoon.

Probably the only utensil I’ll ever be able to use now.

Your hand spasmed around the metal slightly, and you felt Sanji’s eyes on your every move.

“Sanji, can you please not stare at me while I eat?”

“Oh, um. Of course, sweetheart, sorry.”

He turned his face down to his own bowl, and you steeled yourself.

It smells so good.

You filled your spoon, not taking too much, but making sure to have a piece of meat and carrot.

Very small pieces.

The meat was so tender, the flavors overwhelming you. 

It had been so difficult to enjoy food, but Sanji’s cooking was bringing your love back.

But that almost made it worse sometimes.

Even with how small the bites of meat and vegetables were, how wonderfully tender, it was still enough chewing to make you sore. You knew if you ate the whole bowl, you would be hurting. It had been a bad week.

“It’s delicious, Sanji. Thank you so much.”

You couldn’t keep your voice from cracking, and his brows tensed as he set down his spoon. 

“Is it too much, darling?”

You sat back, heat building in your throat as you started massaging your jaw. 

“I don’t want to eat puréed food for the rest of my life.

It was such a dumb sentence. It sounded pathetic. But the weight of it fell down on you, crushing your joy.

Sanji reached out, your skin tingling as his hand touched yours, pulling it away from your face to hold it. He squeezed it gently, and his soft skin was soothing, even through your frustration.

“I know what it is to be hungry, Y/N. I won’t let you suffer like this. No matter what it takes, I will find food that nourishes and satisfies you. Please let me help you.”

Hot tears welled in your eyes, and you swallowed, trying to push them down. 

“What else can I do?”

Looking away from his pleading eyes, you stared into your bowl of stew, the small pieces taunting you. 

Your hands reached up to rub at the sore muscles again. 

“Does massaging your jaw help with the pain? I could… Would you feel comfortable letting me touch your face?”

Breath catching, you felt tingles go over your skin.

Is he just trying to touch me? Does he really care, or is this just him…

The thought felt sour as you looked at his earnest face. Sanji was always flirting with you, but he flirts with all the girls, with every woman he meets. You didn’t think he was serious about being interested in you, so you had tried not to think about him that way. You weren’t always successful.

But he was also one of the kindest people you’d ever met. You set your hesitation aside, and took the cook’s offer.

Sanji came around the table now, facing you as he sat in the chair beside you. Your breath was still too light, and you started pinching your fingers in your lap, fidgeting as he moved close to you.

A small gasp escaped you as his warm fingers touched your cheeks. His skin was so amazingly soft, and your eyes fluttered shut as he started to lightly press in circles along your jaw. 

“Does this feel alright?”

You nodded with a small sigh, then guided his fingers with yours, showing him what you needed.

It felt so much better with his touch than your own, and you let yourself relax into it for a few minutes. 

Sanji kept going as he cleared his throat softly, bringing your attention to his face. 

“What are other things we can do to help you, love?”

You had to breathe, bringing yourself back to the moment. 

“Uh, sometimes icing it can help on bad days. There are exercises too, but it’s hard to remember until it gets bad. Then I can’t do them because it hurts too much.”

“Is there an exercise that isn’t as painful,” Sanji asked, his voice just as soothing as his fingers.

It took you another minute to respond as you melted under his touch.

“Yeah, um. I just always forget. It’s not really an exercise. I need to focus on my posture.”

“You have lovely posture.”

“Thank you,” you said with a laugh, not surprised that he would have noticed that about you. “I know I do. I’ve worked hard on it to help reduce the pain. Seems like it’s really paid off.”

Sanji gave a small frown at the light tone you tried to use with your sarcasm.

“What else, gorgeous?”

His soft hands cupping your face while he used that word made you feel dizzy. How can he make me feel like that with just his voice?

You didn’t want him to stop massaging you, but you moved his hands away. 

“Just this.”

Sanji’s gaze was drawn to your lips as they parted, and he stared for a moment before meeting your eyes again. 

“I’m sorry, dear. What is the next exercise?”

“Not an exercise. More posture. I’m supposed to stay like this as often as I can remember.” 

He stared at your lips again as you gestured to them. 

“My tongue is meant to touch the top of my mouth, and my lips should be slightly parted, as often as I can remember,” you explained, your voice trembling more with each word. 

“I hate it, how am I supposed to remember to do it? And if I do, I just have to live with my mouth open all the time? And what if it doesn’t help? Nothing ever helps-”

Sanji cupped your face again, making you gulp as stinging tears finally started falling. 

He brushed them away with his thumbs, and you felt your lips quivering as his face got closer. His eyes were pouring over your features, and it made you shiver.

“San-”

“You don’t have to carry this alone anymore, Y/N. I’ll help you, whatever you need.”

Your eyes clenched shut, sending a wave of tears down as you tried not to sob. All the pain, all the frustration was wearing you down. 

It seemed so trivial. But not being able to eat Sanji’s amazing food, losing your appetite when you thought of what you could eat, watching the crew laugh together over their meals, it made it all harder. 

You had stopped eating with the crew for a while now, with Sanji joining you after meals. But you felt sick with guilt when you couldn’t finish the food he’d worked so hard on for you. 

“May I hug you, ma belle?” 

Nodding, you let him pull you into his arms. You wanted to stop, to push this aside. It’s not that big of a deal, get over it. 

The biting thoughts that plagued you were finally ignored as you breathed in Sanji’s comforting scent. As you let yourself weep, you sobbed onto his shoulder while he drew comforting shapes along your back. 

He let you cry, and you realized that you were grieving. All the pain you’d bottled up was grief. Grief for all the things you couldn’t do, couldn’t enjoy because your body wouldn’t let you. The pain you ignored everyday until it became so sharp that you couldn’t ignore it. 

The days when you had to stop yourself from laughing with your crew because it hurt too much to open your mouth. 

Feeling it all washing over you, you clung to him, gripping his dress shirt in your fingers. 

Your sobs were loud and painful, but you couldn’t stop them if you tried. You had never let yourself feel all of this, all at once. It was like a dam had been breached, and Sanji was holding you, anchoring you so you wouldn’t be swept away. 

“I’m so sorry you have to carry this, darling. You shouldn't have to.”

He stroked your hair as his soft words started coming through your sobs. Your breathing began to slow, and you felt strange, not quite here. Still hurting, but relieved. 

Sitting back, his hands seemed reluctant to let you slip away. 

You were grateful that he wasn’t smiling. His brows were tensed slightly, and he tilted his head in soft concern. 

“Please come to me with this, Y/N. You don’t need to suffer in silence anymore. I won’t allow it.”

You gave a choked laugh as the corner of his mouth twitched up, and you were surprised that you were ready for the smile so soon. 

“Thank you so much, Sanji.”

You gripped his hands, squeezing his fingers as your breathing kept slowing down. He took one hand away to touch your chin gently. 

“Anytime, my love. I’m going to whip you up something delicious, alright?”

Nodding, your skin was still tingling as his thumb traced along your jaw.

“I’m going to be your reminder from now on, is that okay?”

It took you a second to understand, but you remembered your exercises.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Perfect. Now while I cook, I want you to hold your tongue at the roof of your mouth, and let your lips be slightly parted.”

You smiled at him before you obeyed, and then you watched his eyes seem to burn as they watched your lips part. 

Your breath hitched as Sanji’s thumb traced over your lower lip, delicious heat running through your body at his gentle touch. 

“I’ll help you remember now, ma chérie. Your lips look too beautiful like this for me to forget.”

Thank You for Reading! 💜

TurtleTaub Fanfic Masterlist

Tag List: @astheni-a | @fanaticsnail

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope that you have someone like Sanji to support you through your pain 💜

Buy me a coffee ☕🙏🏼

[letterstoear]

omg IKEVIL PLUSHIES in the works???? 😭 ilysm I can’t wait to grip a little elbie harry and alfons in my grubby little hands

Yes Anon!!! I've been holding off on answering this for so long because I wanted to answer only when I could unleash them to the whole world!!

You can purchase them here: Shop — Letters to Ear (squarespace.com)

And because I'm extra, I thought I would do a deep dive into how I made each plush. It was a tough job for me if I do say. Especially you Jude!!!!! Ahem, shall we begin dear anon?

*Long post incoming*

Let's start with the very beginning. I'm not gonna lie, but I absolutely adore Ring. When I saw him, my heart just knew he was the character I was going to simp for till the end of time. So, it honestly started off with him.

However, Ring you know has a brother named Nica. He unfortunately was, um, horrible at first. Even now I've haven't gone back to fix him because I can't help but laugh when I see him.

Nica I'm so sorry.

Moving on, I decided to try my hand at Elbert and Harry since I was so confident I couldn't screw up with those two. Little did I know what would become of me.

As you can see above me, here are the draft plushies. The only ones to come out safe was Elbert and Harrison. Well, actually I struggled forever to find the perfect felt color to use for Harrison. I ended up going with a seller on Etsy who hand dyes wool felt. The hair color is called cappuccino.

Even so, it's not a perfect match which ticks me off when I look at his plush. Also, there's something about the eyes that bother me. It's like his plush looks washed out. I'm sure it's because the eyes are too pale. I might actually change them soon.

HoWEVer Elbert looks so adorable!!!!! Except he also at the same time kinda sorta mAYBe looks like Lancelot from the game Ikemen Revolution.

What can I say, I like my blondes depressed

Now we move onto the real troublemaker duo. Alfons and Jude. I ended up changing Alfons design a lot as well as Jude. However, after going to the barber shop, he looks perfectly fine now. You can see his before in the photo above. This is his after look:

Isn't he much cuter??? He really needed that swoosh hair thingy.

For Jude, I shifted his hair around and added his black streak of hair. Before is on the left and the after is on the right. Sad to say, but I'm not satisfied with how he looks. I just can't pinpoint where I went wrong though. That's not to say I think he doesn't deserve a chance at the spotlight though.

When I was making Jude's hair, I chose to go with two different shades of grey instead of white and black. The white and black was too strong of a contrast to my liking. I wanted there to be more a blend. I also wasn't sure what hair color Jude has. I think it's light grey??

Through my many trials and tribulations, I have cultivated plush designs I've come to be satisfied with. It was a good challenge for me.

A side note from me, but I was going to add Ellis in this set too. Yet, I went back and forth between hair colors for Ellis. I think it's dark purple. Anyway, I'm still on the search for a hair color to match Ellis. Which one do you think it is?

This marks the end of my long post; I hope you enjoyed this!

[chronicalpal]

stsg fic rec list (2023 edition)

I’ve skimmed through every single stsg fic published on AO3 in English in 2023 and here’s my humble rec list.

disclaimer: I strongly prefer goge dynamic in fics (top Gojo/bottom Geto), so in explicit fics this dynamic is implied. all works are completed

something you can hold on to. by saffrontea 

this fic was accidentally the first one I really enjoyed when I started going through the tag and the one that left the most lasting impression. simultaneously it is a good example of what to expect from this list: our tastes in fiction probably align if you find this fic as beautiful as I do. it’s one of the better stsg fic out there and hands down the best Geto character study I’ve had a pleasure to read. very thoughtful and heartfelt piece about acceptance in its many forms, that is also beautifully written.

the eater, my birthmother, was speaking by No_Ir

this author have a very distinct style of writing which is just not my cup of tea, but I really liked this reflection on Gojo’s relationship with his mother.

i steal a glance, you steal my heart by fromthefarshore

a heartwarming canon compliant getting-together story, I loved that one for the banter that felt very natural and endearing characterisation. I also love fics where author portrays them as best friends that really enjoy each other's company (a feat not as simple as it might seem).

one solitary day by chuuyasoup

I feel like you must know this author if you ever read stsg fics before, they are very good. this fic is an exploration of mourning, there’s nothing bombastic going one, just a boy slowly coming to accept that his best friend is gone.

empty spaces by HamsterQinghua

I’m a sucker for fics with outsider POV, this one has absolutely delivered on it. fun and easy read (until it isn’t).

Heartstrung Ghosts by CharmPoint

another outsider POV, but this time reflecting on Geto’s death. I loved how author portrayed Gojo, Geto and Shoko relationship (none of this “trio” dynamic that is very much prevalent in the fandom). Yaga’s part was also extremely satisfying to read.

now & forever, time will tell by valisse

this fic is soft. the best kind of soft. it’s so very delicate with a touch of angst. I feel like the author also did an immense work with the text itself, the mood of the story and the style of writing are meshing together perfectly.

Paradise Calling by PreseaMoon

sensuality captured in a text like a lightning, I love how it’s not explicit, but it reads very much so. the fic is a real treat.

light a match by fromthefarshore

a rare AU fic, but I loved it a lot. again, the author did a lot of work to make a fic set in modern Japan read authentic. characters are easily recognizable, the romance is sweet and the plot is captivating, despite being just a description of day to day life basically. Geto is a monk in this one (not really), that was the premise I couldn’t resist. author also touched upon the subject of homophobia very delicately and tastefully, which left me pleasantly surprised.

The Spider's Bride by Anonymous

another AU, Geto is a chosen sacrifice for a Spider deity. tags say all you need to know about this fic, I can just add that it’s extremely well written. highly recommended if you are not put off by extremely dubious consent warning (and, well, everything else it has to offer).

symphony, coda by medicinal

one-shot about Gojo accidentally meeting Geto some years after his defection. I loved characterisation a lot, can easily picture it happening exactly like this in canon.

compulsion by aloera

multiverse kind of fic, with stsg being the doomed yaoi couple in all those different universes, it was a fun read (if your definition of fun is suffering).

catch it like lightning by pennydaniels

I feel like you must know this author if you ever read stsg fics before [2]. though they have a very peculiar characterisation, it’s really a hit or miss. but since in this fic Geto loses his memories, I wasn’t too distracted by it. it's one of those fics you simply can't put down until you finish it. and the next thing you know is you pulled an all-nighter and it's time to get up for work.

on the subject of misfortune by haysel

sentinels AU, which I didn’t really see before in English (basically it’s a soulmate AU, but edgy). this fic, however, is everything but. It’s subtle and clever in how it implements this particular AU in the canon setting. I’m a sucker for exploration of their codependency and all its implications, for these purposes this AU is just perfect.

[heehoothefool]

I FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED SIDE ORDER

SPOILERS BELOW AS I TALK ABOUT IT

Okay so first and foremost congrats to Nintendo for making a genuinely fun new way of playing the game that felt really inventive and fresh. "Splatoon Roguelite" was not a concept I'd ever imagined seeing, and it certainly wasn't something I was entirely sure I'd enjoy when it was confirmed as a reality.

And yet, I found myself having an absolutely wonderful time with this game! It's not so hard it's impossible, but it's also not so easy that I get bored, striking a really nice balance of keeping me both deeply invested in the gameplay without ripping my hair out in a fit of gamer rage.

I think like many others, I too would have liked maybe a few more bosses in the boss floor rotation, but genuinely I'm more than happy to over look that just by virtue of how fun the game turned out to be. I do think maybe Parallel Canon could have stood to be a bit tougher, it really just feels like an Octoling Onslaught level from past solo modes, but that's about my only real complaint for how the bosses themselves play.

The music kicks ass like usual, and I liked the way they handled the story so that both players who really only committed to the one Big Run and players who, like me, went for all the palettes, had a good chance of leaving the dlc rather satisfied with their answers.

In terms of palettes, I was genuinely surprised with how good most of them felt, and was especially surprised when I found myself sincerely enjoying palettes with weapons I normally would despise! Finding out that Marina's palette was actually genuinely viable, and possibly one of the stronger palettes I the game, was such a rush of joy to me. In no world had I ever considered a brella, paired with a sprinkler and ink storm, would ever be a viable combination in a game like this. And yet it was so genuinely fun to play with and build and very quickly opened my eyes to very creative palette building methods!

Some part of me does wish the order clone weapons you got for beating a run weren't just Skins, because some of those kits were genuinely really good and unique and I would have loved to play with them in a competitive setting, but I do understand why Nintendo, and especially the Splatoon Team, didn't lock An Entire 12 Unique Weapon Kits behind a paid DLC, and I appreciate it deeply. (A new Luna kit would have been nice tho)

Also, holy fuck was 8's palette hell. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very good and enjoyable challenge, but also I reached Overlorder like 6 different times and kept dying on the final phase because I turned off my Damage Reduction Hack in favor of Increased Damage and An Extra Life while still being able to have like. 12 chips. So every enemy shy of the little bastards and the sprinkler bitches would one shot my armor. Not to mention Reef Slider spam. I kind of wish the chip reduction vs. active hacks wasn't as unforgiving as it is, but that's a personal preference and not really a complaint I'd genuinely launch against the game. I was just having a rough time due to the splattershot's low damage compared to the Jelleton's high hp. I felt like I'd been handed an Arospray with a little more range and a slower fire rate, but no added damage, and been launched into a profreshional Salmon Run match Alone. A really good weapon if you want a real challenge from the game.

Overall I loved this, and I'm definitely gonna make a few more runs to try and get the Prlz to buy out Cipher's shop. I already have all the gear and banners, just gotta pick up the stickers and decorations.

[gaymer-hag-stan]

A Tekken 8 Review That Nobody Asked for From a Longtime Fan Who Has Been Playing for Ages But Is Not a Pro - That Title Is Too Long

Having spent a little over 24 hours playing the game on my PS5, I feel like it's an appropriate amount of time to share my first thoughts on it. I will try to keep spoilers to a minimum so just skip the "Story" section and you should be fine.

General Thoughts

A pretty healthy roster, overall happy with who we got. I do wish Anna and Christie were here, and I also miss Lucky Chloe. With Eddy already announced and Azucena taking over the "cooky dance-y character" I unfortunately don't see Christie or Chloe returning, but Anna better fucking do!

They all look great, even the ugly ones, they look satisfyingly ugly, if that makes any sense. The girls still suffer from the Madame Tussaud's wax figure syndrome that plagued the entirety of Tekken 7's roster, but, maybe I'm gaslighting myself, I do feel like they look a bit less plasticky than some of the initial teasers? Most of the redesigns are great, the hair (Lili's hair has never looked better), water and dirt physics all finally WORK and I love how all the clothing animates with the wind effect, the Fallen Destiny stage is a great one to illustrate all of the above. We can see Yoshimitsu's fingers after three decades! I'd love to know the thought process behind this redesign lmao

I love that they finally, after so many years of other fighting games having it but being inexplicably absent from Tekken, they finally added Player vs CPU matches! FINALLY! Finally I can pick my character and my opponent of choice, pick their costumes and set a stage for them to battle. I'm so happy for this even though it might not make any sense to anyone.

Combo Challenges! We finally have combo challenge in Tekken! Another common fighting game feature inexplicably missing up until now.

Gameplay feels a lot of fun. I wasn't sure about the heat mechanic but it's actually a lot more fun than I initially thought! I tried out all of the cast and am slowly completing both their story episodes and an Arcade run for good measure. I am obviously still maining Nina. They have decided to simplify a lot of her combo throws and I am having fun terrorizing people online with them by breaking their bones! I'm also using Arcade Quest to learn how to play as Lili and Azucena, some basic moves and combos and whatnot. I wanna also do Zafina, Jun, Jin, Hwoarang and Xiaoyu as well eventually. I think these eight will be my main squad for the time being. As a side note, King and Steve feel extremely fun to play, I haven't picked either in ages, but with King I was really close!

The netcode is, surprisingly functional??? We did recently switch to an optic fiber connection type, but I'm still on WiFi and I am having zero problems!

Jukebox is thankfully back again! I literally spent an hour or more before playing the game at all to decide which song goes where lol

Something that scares me regarding upcoming DLC, is that I do not see a season pass being sold anywhere except the Deluxe Edition bundle that costs 40€... I'm sorry but I don't give a fuck about owning 32 identical gold costumes or Tetsujin or whoever the fuck as my Arcade Quest avatar... I only want Eddy and the other three (one of them better be Anna!) thank you very much!

Story

"The Dark Awakens"

Believe it or not I haven't even finished the main story yet as I'm trying to pace myself through all the modes and enjoy them, savouring every moment. At the moment of typing this I am almost halfway through and I must say, even though I am still firmly in the "Drop the cinematic NRS style story modes" camp, and I would much rather have had either arcade mode with proper, canon endings back, or a revival and repurposing of the Tekken Force mode, in an SF6 World Tour mode type of way, out of all of Bandai Namco's attempts at a cinematic story mode, from SCV to Tekken 8, this has been the most satisfying attempt so far. I love that they are fully embracing the overdramatic nature of Tekken along with its campy side and it's present from the very beginning, with Jin throwing his bike at Kazuya's helicopter! "A Fate Decided by Fists" were we actually get to choose which fighters advance through the first round was the biggest highlight so far! I did not expect to fight Azazel again in 2024! I miss his Tekken 6 design though, he no longer glows according to his remaining health or has his limbs crumble away into scarabs according to which parts of him you're hitting. Also, I do understand why they felt the need to overemphasize how "Jin was a good guy all along and he's not like Kazuya" to redeem him and attempt to portray him as a more traditional hero, but I think they went way too far. Literally every single cast member, characters who've never met him before especially, makes a point of how good a person Jin is. Also, I do understand that there were a lot of people complaining that most of the cast were ignored in Tekken 7's story mode and I appreciate that they tried to include more of them this time, but it's so half assed and superficial. Like, Lili, Asuka, Hwoarang, Leo (who finds their missing father, a forgotten plot point from Tekken 6 of screen without a single explanation) Xiaoyu, PANDA offer absolutely nothing to the story so far other than to just be there and tell Jin what a good guy he is. And I say all that as someone who is firmly on Jin's side and despises Kazuya.

Character Episodes

Thank god they have more than one single fight this time! I would have liked it if they found a way to make each of them be canon. Like, I think every single one of the Arcade mode endings of SF6 is canon, if I'm not mistaken, and most of them seem to take place before the events of the main story, as a way to give us a clearer understanding of why each fighter fights. I think Guilty Gear does exactly that too. Nevertheless, I do appreciate that each fighter has fights specifically tailored to them, with specific opponents. It's not clear to me yet if they're completely non-canon or not, as in Nina's she seems to have been hired by Lee to sabotage G Corporation and Kazuya, I pray to God this is true and she's not actually, willingly working for that asshole, like, I'm still in complete denial that they threw her entire character development from Tekken 4 to Tekken 7 to the trash can just to go "NInA WiLl WoRK FoR WhOmEvEr"... She's also suspiciously missing from the actual story like, she simply just appeared in ONE scene so far and then left without doing literally anything. She also seems to only have special interactions with Steve and Lee so far when others get a lot more. Her handling story wise in this installment is insulting, considering she's the most popular female fighter in the series and one of the most popular in the genre...

Offline Modes

Arcade Quest

It's cute... It's certainly a cool way to mask your tutorial and the avatars are kinda cool, but they're nowhere near as good as what Capcom did with SF6 and World Tour. I must say I prefer Tag 2's Tekken Lab over this.

Super Ghost Battle

Ghost battle, after five attempts is finally fun! Tekken 7's was by far the worst attempt as the game would automatically pick opponents for you, matching you with much harder ones if you were winning too much and much lower ones if you were losing too much so that you wouldn't climb the ranks as fast and it would artificially increase playtime. Now that Tekken has actual single player modes other that the story there's no need for that, and they made it work. You simply choose from a list, and the ones that contain unlockable (useless) customisation options for specific characters are actually marked so that you can attempt to get the item you want.

Arcade Battle

I love that they still included a traditional eight battle long Arcade mode, even though they could have just had the character episodes and call it a day. My slight nitpick, again, is that they're still doing this thing that they've been doing since Tekken 5 or 6 where the first few battles are characters in their default costumes and then a horde of Namco's customized monstrosities attack your eyes... This is a huge pet peeve of mine, I understand it in the context of Ghost Battle, and Arcade Quest, but I do not want to see goofy customs in other, "serious" modes. On top of that, the ghosts you get seem to be from the Super Ghost Battle's catalogue of freaks, and are therefore higher difficulty than most, which in turn makes them actively harder than the mode's final boss which I think is kinda hilarious!

Tekken Ball

I will admit, I only played a single match and never touched it again. It is actually challenging, I'll give it that, but I don't see the appeal. I'd much rather have Tekken Bowl again back instead tbh. Also I wish that stage was playable in normal modes too.

Customization

Avatar customization is kinda whatever, but it works well enough for Arcade Quest and I don't really visit the Tekken Fight Lounge.

Character Customization however is where I have an issue. While I've seen lots of cool customs of various characters from other games and IPs, including Shimbori himself dressing up Super Battle ghosts as DOA characters!, I don't really care for the customization options? My only real use for Character Customization in Tekken so far was to recreate past / alternate outfits. Like, in Tekken 6 I would buy the schoolgirl outfit parts for all the teen girlies, in Tekken 7 I recreated Nina's 2P outfit from Tekken 4 using her Blood Vengeance catsuit as a base, stuff like that. In Tekken 8 all I'm getting is a huge catalogue of Zara's apparel... And all the unlockable outfits are either their default look with less clothes on, or weird cosplays of other characters. Why? Tekken Character Customization peaked in Tekken 6, where every single one of the 40 (41 if you count Panda, who I think had some different options from Kuma) characters had his own personal selection of outfits and items, matching their personality and look. I don't want to play as Nina dressed up as Ada Wong or in a business casual for a 9-5 desk job. They made everything way too generic and bland and, on top of that, we don't even have trademark pieces like Nina's purple catsuit, her ponytail, Hwoarang's taekwondo garb, Xiaoyu's Tekken 6 battle costume. The Tekken 5 veterans should have had their Tekken 5/6/TTT2 costumes and hairstyles on top of their Tekken 7 ones.

Overall, I am very very happy with this game! It seemingly does almost everything right and I am glad to see it improving on, literally, every single thing over Tekken 7.

Score: 9 / 10

[jjungkookislife]

The final part of Baby Kicks 🥹 This short drabble fic is just as adorable as I first read it 🥰 There’s just something about dad!jungkook (or any of the guys really 😉) that’s just so satisfying to read about ☺️ The “domesticness” just makes me 🥺😩😭 and it is so satisfying cause you also see how amazing he is as a husband 😌 Thanks for giving us the final part 💜

La Boda 😳 When it was still in your wips, i remember how it sounded really intriguing for me. After finally reading it, there was so much happening 😲 The confusion from the groom when SEVEN people bursts in 😂 Her mother fainting and being caught by the husband 😂 her maid of honor being on board and giving her a thumbs up 😂 The audience being moved by the scene while her groom is steaming pissed and his groomsmen just shrugging at him 😂 The revelation of the groom setting them up to look like cheaters, this is just like a telenovela I LOVE IT 😍 Not the MC focusing on Jk’s waist while being in his tuxedo 🥴 And the groom looking for backup from his groomsmen to fight with the 7 exes currently professing their undying love for his bride 😂 The collective gasp from the guests when she drops bouquet on the ground 😂 I expected the MOH to cheer for her finally reuniting with the 7, but not her family too 😂 And finally, the classic bride running away with the one she actually loves (that just so happens to be 7 different dudes 🥴) and they live happily ever after 😌 All in all, it was a great read. The classic dramatic scenes that happens on weddings 🤭 I loved it, thank you for sharing it with us 🥰 I hope you are doing okay and not overworking yourself. Goodluck on your tutoring sessions, I hope it goes well 💜

I love dad!jungkook 😭 I can imagine him wearing matching outfits with his son and getting him a little toy karaoke machine so they can sing together 😭

I couldn’t remember if I had posted La Boda or not bc I talked about it a lot 😅 the mother fainting was my favorite part lmao the absolute shock of it all is how I imagined my mom would have responded lmao she passed before my bts fan girl era but she was with me through my other eras so I can only imagine her reactions lol

The groomsmen knew better than to take on any of the exes lol especially with his beefy joon is 🤤

Jungkook’s waist is amazing and I am very jealous lol

There’s definitely a lot going on all at once and the groom was just evil so he got what he deserved being left at the altar 🤣 and the bride and her seven exes can live happily ever after like they deserve 🥰

Thank you! I have been overworking myself this week writing for other fandoms 😅 but I think I need a few days rest 😴 I had two classes back to back so it was an hour of nerves and sweating lmao I had to turn on the ac and I’m still figuring out how to pace myself bc I go too fast sometimes and then I go too slow 🥲 I have to be up in about 5 hours and I can’t sleep 😴 that coffee did it’s job 🤣 but I will post a chapter of the nanny next month bc I had to cut it in half and then hopefully finish the second half soon so I can post after my break in May/June 🥰 thank you for stopping by! I’m glad you enjoyed both drabbles and I hope you stay healthy and take care 💖

[turbulentscrawl]

hi hi! i hope you're doing well ^^ i'd love to request a match up if that's okk!

i use they/them pronouns, dress mostly in masc/androgynous clothing and prefer feminine terms/pet names (a whole shit show i know 🥴). i'm demiromantic/demisexual and would prefer being matched with a male if that's okk. i'm INFP 9w1, neutral good, leo rising, libra sun, pisces moon.

as far as personality goes, i'm described by others as open minded, slightly extroverted, blunt, honest, witty and flirty. while i am aware that i am indeed all these things, it's mostly a facade. i tend to be shy, introverted, can seem pretty cold and distant if you only see me from afar and don't approach me but i just have a hard time showing love and care so openly unless i'm comfortable with the person. not sure if you know these characters, but mostly like a vanitas, dazai, scaramouche, lyney type beat personality.

to expand a bit more on the outer personality, i do tend to be flirtatious towards people who i know i have an effect on or are easily flustered, it's pretty fun and cute to see how they react. all fun and games till someone pulls a reverse card on me tho, if someone tries to do the same to me, i immediately get flustered and stumble over my words because i genuinely never expect the reciprocation. as for inner personality, i did say im not so open about showing love and care unless im comfortable with the person but once i am comfortable enough, i go to hell and back to smother them with so much love, especially with gifting things and lengthy paragraphs (because im bad verbally). what does get me to fold most of the time is someone straightforward, doesn't beat around the bush on what they want to say or do because i do like being caught off guard by such people and it just makes me happy (and quite flustered) knowing that they're so open about it.

i'm currently in university studying communications so my interest mostly are in medias like socials, tv, movies, radio, photography, etc. my main focuses are tv and photography however. with tv, i really enjoy the behind scenes work of it. being able to set up the space and bring it to life. just seeing your creation put into motion is just the most satisfying feeling ever. as for photography, i just enjoy the serenity of it (as if i'm not cursing the weather and people that get into a shot every 5 minutes but anyway), it's very calming in its own way. i have a personal preference for landscape photography since nature and ambiance itself have a lot to offer/say for itself but really i'm just bad at telling others how to pose and what emotion to convey. i just prefer to let them do their own thing unless there's something in particular i really want.

i tend to daydream a lot, like excessively. maladaptive daydreaming go brrr, bUT ANYWAY. i could go on hours and hours daydreaming, that type of daydreaming that got you walking around the house and shit to help you envision things better. because of the excessive daydreaming, i do sometimes write but only when i'm feeling down or stressed as a way to cope.

another thing that i do is watch a lot of videos and movies. i mostly watch fantasy related movies and my all time favorite movie is coraline, with nightmare before christmas in second place. i have an absolute soft spot and big love for stop motion movies and love watching the behind the scenes of it, for any movie tbh because i just love seeing how things come to life and how the crew works to create such things. for videos, it's just watching others talk while they play a game or do something. i just like hearing people talk about things they're doing or enjoy while they're actively doing something, it keeps me engaged.

i do game a lot! mostly genshin and idv, but i do play a few other games as well and i'm willing to try any game once if someone asks, especially if it's a multiplayer/coop game since i feel like games are more enjoyable with other people. hmm, other things i do are book readings and tarot! i have a lot of fantasy books that i've bought over the years as well as many tarot decks (my wallet is not okay 💀😭). tarot in particular is something i've always been fascinated and interested in so i've researched and gotten into it for a few years now!

not really sure what else to say about me tbh so i hope this is enough 😭 thank you in advance!

I Ship You With Andrew Kreiss!

-Andrew does better with people who aren't social butterflies (because it allays his fears that you prefer the other people you speak to over him), and who like to keep the peace (because they're often good for helping with Andrew's constant grumpy-boy miscommunication.) He's also a bit slow to warm to people, but it sounds like you're a bit of the same, albeit with better manners.

-A fun mix, Andrew is blunt enough and you flirty enough that you constantly fluster one another. He's crass and direct, and though he may stutter and flush beet-red sometimes, Andrew is usually good about telling people what he wants. He's also not used to people complimenting or flattering him, so he flusters easily. You're constantly blushing around one another.

-He's mostly indifferent to your daydreaming. Andrew is more philosophical than he lets on, and you two could easily have an hour or two of lounging in the gardens, you zoned out and him contemplating life. Alternatively, just leave your lap open so he can take a nap. Andrew loves to have his hair played with.

-Andrew lacks any real "hobbies" as most of his life up to this point has been consumed with the church and survival. He's likely to follow you around as you engage in yours and try to figure out if they're things he's interested in as well. I don't think he's likely to be a tech-y guy even in a modern world, so he's more liable to read a book along with you than play a video game.

-Photography might actually help Andrew with some of his self-image issues! Getting him to pose would be a hard-won battle, but if you take a lot of candid pictures of Andrew, and especially if you fawn over them, it gives him a lot to think about. At some point, he has to accept that you don't find him monstrous in any way.

Runner Up: Naib Subedar

[rusakkowrites]

For the DVD commentary, I need some details on the furnishings of Hartfield :D

“… I have been thinking over the arrangements upstairs, and I believe I have hit upon a fine solution. We shall do over Mrs Weston’s old chamber for a second dressing room. It is a very comfortable room, and I believe it will suit the purpose admirably. The wall-hangings must be changed, and I should like to order new curtains to match, but apart from that, I do not think much is required.”

“I am quite certain that you are correct.”

Mr Elton’s eyebrows shot up. The second voice belonged to none other than Mr Knightley, whom Mr Elton had quite expected to be at Donwell Abbey waiting for him. It was yet more evidence of Knightley’s recent peculiar absent-mindedness that he should be tarrying at Hartfield instead.

“I will send for samples to see what might suit,” continued Miss Woodhouse. Her voice was now so close that Mr Elton surmised she must be right on the other side of the shrubs surrounding his hiding place. “Mrs Weston has a very pretty pattern in her sitting room. I do not think the colour is quite what I should prefer, but perhaps something similar may be found in a different shade.”

It was just like Miss Woodhouse, Mr Elton thought ill-naturedly, to be so assured of her own importance as to blithely imagine that Knightley would give a fig about her refurbishment schemes. He rather wished that Knightley would set her right. Miss Woodhouse, if anyone, was in dire need of being taken down a peg.

“… As for the bedchamber, I think it will do as it is. Another bedside table might be needed, I suppose, but I believe the rest of the furniture will need no alteration – unless you perceive some overlooked flaw in my plan.”

“The furnishings of the room matter little to me,” came Mr Knightley’s voice. It sounded as if he and Miss Woodhouse were headed in the direction of the side gate. “My requirements will be satisfied as long as you may be found within.”

For an instant, Mr Elton thought that he must have misheard. Mr Knightley’s words seemed entirely incongruous. What business could he possibly have with Miss Woodhouse’s bedchamber furnishings, and why the devil was he speaking as if he would be making use of the room himself?

Yet Mr Elton’s hearing was proven quite intact by what followed.

“Oh,” Miss Woodhouse replied in a saucy tone, “I shall remind you of your words when you complain that the curtains let in too much light or that the bed is too narrow for two!”

Yay, another chance to talk about Emma and Mr Knightley! <3

This was a fic that I really enjoyed writing. The three previous fics I had written had been for a Big Bang event, a Reddit challenge and Fandom Trumps Hate, which were all a lot of fun, but afterwards it was really nice to write something with no deadline and no prompts or other rules to adhere to. Just something self-indulgent and a bit silly.

“… I have been thinking over the arrangements upstairs, and I believe I have hit upon a fine solution. We shall do over Mrs Weston’s old chamber for a second dressing room. It is a very comfortable room, and I believe it will suit the purpose admirably. The wall-hangings must be changed, and I should like to order new curtains to match, but apart from that, I do not think much is required.”

My impression is that both Emma and Mr Knightley are fairly practical people at heart. They're both used to being in charge of their respective households and to making decisions. I think they'd approach Mr Knightley's move to Hartfield in an organised manner and enjoy discussing all the details of their household management. (They'd also have plenty of time to plan due to Mr Woodhouse delaying the wedding.)

I headcanon Emma as having excellent taste, and of course she has the means to accomplish whatever decorating scheme that catches her fancy. Mrs Elton would no doubt find Emma's style disappointingly conservative and plain, but everyone else (including Mr Knightley) would feel that she she strikes just the right note: appropriate for her wealth and station in life but not overdone. However, she rarely makes many big alterations at once because Mr Woodhouse hates change so much. Just subtle updates a little bit at a time, preferably making a point of how each change makes their house safer and healthier to live in. Hartfield would have all the modern conveniences that Emma could get installed, but the rooms her father spends the most time in would not have anything too newfangled on view.

“I am quite certain that you are correct.”

Mr Elton’s eyebrows shot up. The second voice belonged to none other than Mr Knightley, whom Mr Elton had quite expected to be at Donwell Abbey waiting for him. It was yet more evidence of Knightley’s recent peculiar absent-mindedness that he should be tarrying at Hartfield instead.

I love dramatic irony in fiction, and I had lots of fun with Mr Elton's point of view in this story. Emma and Mr Knightley know what's going on and so does the reader, but Mr Elton is just grumpy and confused.

“I will send for samples to see what might suit,” continued Miss Woodhouse. Her voice was now so close that Mr Elton surmised she must be right on the other side of the shrubs surrounding his hiding place. “Mrs Weston has a very pretty pattern in her sitting room. I do not think the colour is quite what I should prefer, but perhaps something similar may be found in a different shade.”

The logistics of this whole scene gave me a bit of trouble. I wanted Mr Elton to be able to eavesdrop and even peek at Mr Knightley and Emma without being discovered. My initial idea was to have him just outside the garden gate, behind a tree or something, but I felt like he'd be too visible there, so I put him in a little nook in the shrubbery instead. I'm not sure how realistic it would actually be for a Regency-era garden to have a bench almost completely hidden by bushes, though if people had garden mazes, I imagine a little walled-off bench wouldn't be too hard to accomplish.

It was just like Miss Woodhouse, Mr Elton thought ill-naturedly, to be so assured of her own importance as to blithely imagine that Knightley would give a fig about her refurbishment schemes. He rather wished that Knightley would set her right. Miss Woodhouse, if anyone, was in dire need of being taken down a peg.

Mr Elton spent the previous autumn praising everything Emma said and did, but that's definitely over! Mr Knightley, however, is another matter. In canon, the Eltons seem pretty eager to build a good relationship with him (which is unsurprising considering that he owns basically all the land in the area). Unfortunately for them, disliking Emma is a pretty certain way to earn Mr Knightley's dislike. And he's very invested in Emma's refurbishment scheme!

“… As for the bedchamber, I think it will do as it is. Another bedside table might be needed, I suppose, but I believe the rest of the furniture will need no alteration – unless you perceive some overlooked flaw in my plan.”

“The furnishings of the room matter little to me,” came Mr Knightley’s voice. It sounded as if he and Miss Woodhouse were headed in the direction of the side gate. “My requirements will be satisfied as long as you may be found within.”

I agonized over what exactly Mr Knightley should say to finally tip Mr Elton off. I wanted it to be inappropriate for anyone except a husband or future husband to say, but I didn't want to make it sound sleazy - I think Mr Knightley wouldn't be one for dirty talk before marriage.

For an instant, Mr Elton thought that he must have misheard. Mr Knightley’s words seemed entirely incongruous. What business could he possibly have with Miss Woodhouse’s bedchamber furnishings, and why the devil was he speaking as if he would be making use of the room himself?

Yet Mr Elton’s hearing was proven quite intact by what followed.

“Oh,” Miss Woodhouse replied in a saucy tone, “I shall remind you of your words when you complain that the curtains let in too much light or that the bed is too narrow for two!”

I wanted to show Emma and Mr Knightley being comfortable with each other, and I think teasing and banter would be a big part of that. I also think that their long-standing friendship would make it easier for them to discuss topics that are very relevant to their practical arrangements but also skirting the edge of propriety, such as sleeping arrangements. However, they definitely wouldn't be talking about such private topics if they knew someone else was in earshot!

I think Emma has a pretty good notion of what to expect from married life. She has both Mrs Weston and Isabella to talk to, after all. I also believe that Emma is the Austen heroine who is shown to be thinking most directly about her future children:

It is remarkable, that Emma, in the many, very many, points of view in which she was now beginning to consider Donwell Abbey, was never struck with any sense of injury to her nephew Henry, whose rights as heir-expectant had formerly been so tenaciously regarded. Think she must of the possible difference to the poor little boy; and yet she only gave herself a saucy conscious smile about it, and found amusement in detecting the real cause of that violent dislike of Mr. Knightley’s marrying Jane Fairfax, or any body else, which at the time she had wholly imputed to the amiable solicitude of the sister and the aunt.

I feel that the "saucy conscious smile" could be read as implying that she has some idea of how those children will come about. :D

Thank you for the ask!

[scorpiongrassfield]

Conspiracy Board Time 

Start | Prev

Concrete enters the room and roams around, eventually settling near Pat’s feet as they enjoy their second cup of coffee for the day. 

Once Pat is satisfied that you and Theo have eaten enough, they set their cup down on the side table and say, “Okay, now we can get to work.” 

Theo stands to collect everyone’s trash and takes it into the kitchen for disposal. 

“What will we be doing, exactly?” he asks when he returns. 

“We’re gonna make a murder board,” Pat says, gesturing to the cork board. 

“Oh… has someone been killed?” Theo asks, not matching Pat’s enthusiasm. 

You can see realization dawn on Pat’s face. If you had to guess you’d think they were reassessing whether or not it’s appropriate to call it a murder board while talking to an actual murder victim. 

“Uh. No. I guess no one else has been killed as far as we know,” they say eventually. 

“Ah. Okay then,” Theo says. 

“Anyway!” Pat sing-songs in a manner that implies they want to move on without addressing anything that just happened, “We brought the board, pins, yarn, and a bunch of stuff to pin up. We were hoping you could help us piece everything together.” 

Theo hesitates. “I’m not sure how much help I’ll be, but I’ll try my best,” he says after a few beats. 

“That’s the spirit,” Pat says cheerfully. 

They move to start getting the materials out of the bag and onto the coffee table. Concrete steals their seat in the meantime. 

You help by spreading out some of the drawings and cards out so they’re easier to look through. 

“What mystery are we solving, again?” Theo asks as he stoops a bit to read the cards. 

“The sun is missing,” you say. 

“We’ve seen it a few times, it isn’t completely missing,” Pat corrects. 

“That’s… not reassuring,” Theo says, brow furrowed. 

“Plus our mystery is really like 8 stacked in trench coats like gnomes on a dinner date,” Pat says. 

Theo looks more confused than ever. 

“Our overall question for our mystery board is ‘What’s Going On’,” Pat says, pausing to pin a card with each of those three words up on the board. 

“That's not very specific,” you chime in. 

“It’s not! But it covers all our bases for now. We can get more specific if we have any more questions after we answer this one,” Pat explains. 

“First let’s get our dramatis personae up,” Pat says. 

You find the drawings you made last night and tear them from the sketchbook. 

Pat pins up a portrait they drew once you’ve gotten yours on the board. 

Ametrine stares out from the page, sadder than you’ve ever seen her. Pat’s drawing style favors bold lines and heavy shadows. 

“She’s not wearing sunglasses,” you note. 

“No? She doesn’t really wear them,” Pat says, sounding perplexed. 

“She’s always wearing them when I see her,” you counter. 

“Huh…” Pat takes a card and writes something down on it. 

“There’s no picture of you?” Theo asks, looking your way. 

You drew Theo, Pat, and the shadow, and Pat drew Ametrine… Theo is right. There isn’t one for you. 

“Uh… No. Guess we forgot.” 

“May I?” Theo asks, gesturing for the sketchbook. 

“Sure,” you say, offering it to him. 

He thanks you and settles back down into a chair to start drawing. He looks up every now and again, scanning your features before returning to the task. 

You aren’t sure how you feel about having your portrait drawn like this, but you did just agree to it, so you won’t back out now. 

“Now we connect everyone with yarn. Pink is for a connection to me, obviously. Black for you Sylv, we’ll put your portrait here when Theo’s done. T-Ametrine gets yellow…” 

“Why do you do that?” you ask. “Do What?” 

“You trip over Ametrine’s name often enough to be noticeable,” Theo chimes in. 

Pat huffs a laugh. “Can’t get anything past you two, can I?” 

They don’t elaborate. 

“Well?” you prompt. 

“I’m thinking. It’s not like it’s a big secret or her dead name or anything. It’s just. We used to be… close… Me and Ametrine. I used to call her Trina. Now we aren’t close. The habit remains. You two don’t know her by that name, so I’m trying to just call her by the one. That’s all,” they say. 

“How close were you?” you prod. 

“That’s none of your business,” Pat says. 

You give them a look. 

“Close enough that we were planning to run away together at some point. We didn’t though. She wasn’t… no, she couldn’t give up on what she thought was right, and I have a different idea of what’s right, so we went separate ways,” they say. 

“Thank you,” you say. 

Pat mutters something under their breath, but you don’t catch it. You’ll let them be grumpy as long as they give you the information you want. 

“Who is she, though? How is she relevant to,” Theo gestures to the board with his pencil, “That?” 

“Not you too,” Pat complains. 

“We can’t make a conspiracy board if we don’t have any information,” you point out. 

“It’s true,” Theo agrees. 

“Oh this whole trip was a bad idea,” Pat whines, but you can tell they’re playing it up for laughs. 

“No dodging the question,” Theo says without looking up from the portrait. 

Pat laughs. “Absolutely relentless…” they shake their head. “Ametrine is an exorcist and psychic. She’s… Not fond of ghosts and will do just about anything to get rid of them, including murder,” Pat explains. 

“Oh, I see. I should perhaps steer clear of her then,” Theo says. 

“Yeah. She’s got it out for Sylv here,” Pat says, connecting Ametrine’s portrait to your space with black and yellow yarn.

“And we thought she was after him because of this guy.” They connect the shadow to you. 

“How are you two connected?” 

“Actually, I think the shadow might be more connected to Pat than me,” you say. 

“What makes you say that?” Pat asks head cocked to the side. 

“Last time I talked to it, it mentioned that you were the one that asked it to protect me, but that you’d forgotten you’d done so,”  you explain. 

“And you’re just telling me this now?” 

You shrug. You can’t tell them everything about that conversation anyway, and it never really came up. 

Pat gives you a look, but says. “Okay, well. We’re gonna put a pin in that for now.” 

They write down “The shadow allegedly knows Pat” on a piece of paper and pin it on the board. 

“The shadow is currently playing guardian for you, though its true motives are unknown,” Pat says firmly. 

Well, you can argue about that later. 

“How am I connected to all of this?” Theo asks. 

“We were hired to investigate your... situation,” Pat says. 

“Why?” 

“It’s complicated,” Pat says, trying to sidestep the question. 

“Oh. Okay,” Theo accepts. 

Pat is clearly trying not to remind Theo that his own parents covered up his death. 

“So our only connection to you that we know of is that we’re psychics and you’re a ghost,” you say. 

Except… 

“But you’re also connected to the shadow somehow,” you add. 

Theo’s face scrunches in confusion. “How?” 

“Are you sure you want to tell him?” Pat asks, their face expressing disapproval. 

Theo has a right to know that he might have been possessed. But on the other hand it might scare him and there’s nothing he can do to avoid future possessions. 

Will you tell him?

Next

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobody33333333!!!!

I know I said I'd get this out, like, two days ago, but unfortunately I had a pressing essay that I needed to finish. HOWEVER, I have now dealt with it, and so I get to gush about how much I enjoyed this chapter of "S.O.S."!!!!

(This is also going to be in a few parts, so I do apologise. I wanted to do it justice.)

First off, ten chapters!! A very exciting milestone :)

And I was so happy to see all of the sneak-peaks from the WIP Ask Game slot into this chapter; it's like five different layers of satisfying to see the passages I was really excited to read earlier match up with a piece of writing that I love so very dearly.

There is something so exactly siblingesque that Curtain is extremely angry about his brother "stealing" their joint ideas. I have basically had that exact conversation too many times to count.

Poor Jeeps. He's jeeped it up again.

"How many back-up locations and safe houses can one person have?" How many indeed. I think that either they have a ton, because all of them wanted to be prepared so they just set up like five different back up plans without telling each other, or Curtain's forces are absolutely abysmal at finding their singular safe house.

Curtain thinking about how Garrison is closer to him than Nicholas, even though she's currently brainswept herself is so sad. He had a family, and now all that he can do is compare how deeply their various "betrayals" hurt him.

"The family Curtain had lost" OKAY, WE'RE GOING THERE. OUCH.

But, really, that is an exquisitely crafted line with so much nuance and drama and pain.

It's really interesting that Kate and Milligan's names seem to be at (or near) the top of his list, while Nicholas is purposefully at the bottom. Because he still devotes the same amount of attention and mental energy to thinking about/capturing them. He's just pretending not to care.

" Nicholas, and everyone else that Curtain had ever cared about always fought against him, like disobedient unruly children" Oh, oh buddy. I totally get why this makes sense for his character and everything, but, again, why are you trying to run a school?

It is a skill that you can write Curtain's inner monologue and include such things at “The Endless Burden of Greatness is Mine Alone to Bear.” and still make me feel even smidge of serious sympathy for him. You have a talent, my friend.

You included the bit about Number Two's name!! I find that so funny, and am intensely gratified that you gave him that little thought anecdote about it.

Oooh, the way you included the lights from the shore so early in the chapter gave me shivers. I was brimming with anticipation by the time Curtain fully processed through it all.

It's a tiny bit funny to me that Curtain continually thinks of children and their skills as "pathetic", whereas when he himself was twelve he thought he could rule the world, and still holds that conviction!

"Or maybe Curtain was just being paranoid. Or maybe he wasn’t being paranoid enough." Or maybe you need therapy

His statement about the syllables has always thrown me off, but I reconsidered it here, and while I still have no answers, I have some observations: "Ledroptha Curtain" is 3-2, while "L.D. Curtain" can be considered 2-2 ("Reynard Muldoon" is also 2-2). However, both "Nathaniel Benedict" and "Nicholas Benedict" are 3-3. I wonder if the writers chose "Nathaniel" purposefully because of its syllables, as well as starting with "N". I wonder if it bothers Curtain that his name isn't really balanced anymore (as I can definitely see him struggling with some OCD tendencies; need for control and all) or if he likes it (or pretends to), since it no longer matches his brother.

Curtain's just sitting here judging Reynie for wanting to talk about his Manipulation Salad while pretending to care for more manipulation. I can't believe how irony-blind he is sometimes.

He's so awkward ugh this part makes my insides squirm

It's crazy but also really sad how much Curtain has retreated into his defensiveness since the S.O.S., because he's comparing Reynie to both Nicholas and Pedalian, but he can't get out of his own head enough to recognize Reynie as a person and possibly offer him some grace or even consider why he might be acting so oddly. It's good, because it means that the kids' plan works and their people reading skills have been put to good use, but it's still a little sad.

"who by this point was certain that the backhanded nature of his compliment would undoubtedly be completely lost on Reynie, as he didn’t even seem capable of determining the appropriate time to enter a conversation." Why is he so judgy this is actually hysterical-

Why. Just- Why? What about the Ribbon Interaction was so concerning that nearly ruins Curtain's opinions of Reynie? I mean, it sounds exactly like something Curtain would do but I am dying trying to sort it out in my head because it's so weird

AND HE'S STILL OFF. He has a whole interaction with Reynie, and then goes "Hm, I wonder where the possible spies my brother may have sent are. Truly a mystery." He's such a goofy dork, for all his "Greatness"

MILLIGAN

It's so neat that Milligan loves hiking. I just adore that detail.

Oh boy, Rhonda and Number Two's fighting never really sat right with me in the show, but I am liking the spin you put on it. I think it's probably just because I read the books and I was expecting them to be sisters, rather than colleagues. That said, I am very curious to see where you take it!

The way that you interject the girls' argument with the little descriptions of Milligan is amazing! It really captures the energy of the situation beautifully.

In a way, Milligan is mirroring Curtain in this scene, with his uncomfortable awkwardness and trying to escape the conversation.

Mr. Benedict's whole life sometimes feels like a series of putting off a task until it eventually confronts him and tips over into a domino line of other tasks. Same, buddy.

IS IT CONCERNING THAT I INSTANTLY KNEW WHAT SCENE MILLIGAN'S MEMORY WAS OF AND IT GUTTED ME

You are a beautiful artist and it's like watching a gorgeous quilt come together or someone weaving very fine lace to see you write but also sometimes it feels like you're repeatedly stabbing me in the heart

Oh, oh oh oh dear. It's the Milligan flashback. Still just as emotional the fourth or fifth time around :(

The way you describe his wife is so cool!! It's very genuine and sincere, but you keep the vague, mysterious air as well!! Very good.

Agh, and poor Milligan keeps second-guessing his memories and worrying that they're hallucinations or something, my heart hurts for him. And once again!! He wants to meet her again. I think that it adds a lot to things with how you've been writing him, because while obviously finding Kate again was amazing for him, but he probably had to grieve his wife all over again when he remembered her. (But, of course, we know that he'll get to "see her" in Kate, a little)

The way that Curtain does a full 180 from harshly judging Sticky for being timid and like Nicholas to (correctly) assuming that he's a spy is as ridiculous as it is interesting. Curtain is highly intelligent, he and Mr. Benedict are siblings, after all. However, he is constantly handicapping himself with his distrust of others and unhealthily excessive self-reliance.

S.Q.!!!!

“Not slacking off on your classes, are you?” SIR. What classes????

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

For the fanfic writing meme...YOU pick 10 numbers YOU want to answer! I want to see which ones of those most excite your or you have the most to say.

My attention span is horrible right now tbh, I couldn't even read through the whole list. So these are the 10 that stood out to me when I was skimming it over:

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

One-shots because they are quick and easy (for the most part). Multi-chaps take so much more effort. Although, multi-chaps are more satisfying to finish. Pros and cons with each. I do miss one-shots, though. Been a very long time since I've written one.

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I used to only write as I went, which was honestly so fun. I'd surprise myself with unintended plot twists and stuff like that. But now I plan ahead, and that's very necessary for a story like SGB, which is very long, detailed, and packed with subplots. I will say, though, that while there is a plan, I let the chapter change as needed if the plan isn't working or I think of something better while drafting, and sometimes I add scenes last minute (or cut entire scenes if it just doesn't feel like it's working). Having a plan is good, knowing when to be flexible is also good.

Do you like constructive criticism?

Depends on what that looks like.

If someone wants to point out a typo, I'll be appreciative (and I do actually have a fandom friend who used to message me when she found typos in my posted works, which I am grateful for). And if there is an obvious mistake, I don't mind it being pointed out (for example, I was messing up the serve order in games and someone very kindly pointed that out, so I fixed it, and I'm very happy that they pointed it out so that I didn't keep making that mistake).

But if someone said things like, "I don't like how you wrote that" or "that character would never do that" or "you should write that differently" or anything relating to like, personal preference, I'd be annoyed and not grateful at all.

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

I used to be able to bang out 10-12k words in a day, back when my health wasn't so bad. Granted, the quality of those 10-12k words wasn't great at all, and part of why I write slower now is because I'm thinking about a lot more technical aspects that I used to be unaware of. Anyway, these days I can maybe get 3k written on a very good day, but 500-1000 in a day is more realistic for me now.

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Take a break, read books and watch shows, rest, re-read what I've already written, etc.

What’s your revision or editing process like?

1. Rough draft

2. Fill in details and missing elements

3. Focus setting/sensory details and add last minute details

4. Check that dialogue/body language matches each character (usually end up adding a few more little details as well)

5. Make sure the chapter as a whole makes sense, cut anything unnecessary, check for consistency

6. Proofreading (check line by line for typos and grammar issues)

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

There are some fics I like to re-read maybe once a year or so, and sometimes I read a fic twice in a row if I really liked it. I'd probably re-read things much more frequently if I wasn't so busy writing.

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Hopefully not still writing SGB😭😭😭

Why do you continue writing fics?

Because I'm bored and have nothing better to do, and more importantly, because I enjoy it.

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Chronological. I have to use my favorite scenes as a reward for getting that far in the story, so I don't allow myself to skip ahead.

[food4dogs]

WEEKEND CHAT :: 9 JANUARY 2023 :: TV DRAMA - Part 2

This is a new listing on Netflix - a movie adaptation of Louis Bayard's novel The Pale Blue Eye (2006). I came very close to buying the book a while ago, but didn't in the end. PoodlePa and I have both read, and enjoyed, Roosevelt's Beast (2014 - a reimagining of Teddy and Kermit Roosevelt's ill-fated 1914 Amazon expedition - the European edition is titled The Beast in the Jungle). So we were naturally keen to catch up with this story!

And: it did not disappoint. The cinematography is beautiful. The pacing of the story does not falter, the script is convincing and at times harrowing. And the cast is simply excellent.

The conclusion of a murder mystery is of course always the sticking point, and seldom is everybody completely satisfied. Here we have what looks like an ending/explanation that feels strangely melodramatic and lurid ... only for us to find out that there is a true, final, complete ending - fittingly right at the end!

Bayard likes to incorporate real-life characters and events into his fiction, and this one features Edgar Allan Poe, who did briefly attend West Point Military Academy. The two main characters are played superbly by Christian Bale and Harry Melling (forever remembered as the pudgy Dudley Dursley in Harry Potter).

I was struck how closely the casting department managed to match the looks of the real EA Poe by choosing Melling! It's almost unreal.

There is even an article about Harry Melling, his evolution as an actor, and his role as the famous poet, including his resemblance with Poe: "Melling has the eyes—and the sense of dread and sadness welled within them."

I hope you get a chance to watch it - we enjoyed it very much!

Finally, let's have a look at White Noise. As I have mentioned/posted before, I have the original 1985 novel edition, and watching the Netflix adaptation made me quickly re-read the book.

DeLillo is an odd writer of fiction. I sometimes think he's more of an incisive commentator on our world than he is a story-teller. He's good at creating characters and scenes, please don't get the wrong impression. But something always nags at me, insisting that - however wonderful and metaphorical his language - he's more intent on telling us what a crazy world we live in than what really happens to the people in these stories.

Noah Baumbach has made a valiant attempt to bring "the unfilmable novel" to the screen and it's good and watchable. The 'trick' he used to make the story digestible, make us care about the characters and events, is that he focused very closely on the people. He makes it into quite a traditional movie story (as long as you don't mind some weird and even disturbing happenings) really. Whereas the book is stuffed to the gills with description, analysis, dissection, weird and wonderful connections. That is impossible to portray in a movie. I noticed that most of the movie critics appear not to have read the book itself.

The other reason why White Noise didn't make a really big impact on me is probably the cast. I'm not the biggest fan (just my personal taste) of Adam Driver (he's a perfectly good actor, of course) or Greta Gerwig. The one actor I did enjoy seeing was Lars Eidinger - he really is very good, especially in these creepy roles!

Considering the difficulties of adapting this 'material' from the novel, I could forgive White Noise many things; and also need to acknowledge that the children were tremendously well acted (very natural) - my pick is Raffey Cassidy, one to watch.

But what I can't forgive is the ending. It's far too bubble gum colourful happy (?) and actually doesn't make much sense. The book's ending is also set in the supermarket. But it's a savage view, nothing is spared in terms of focusing a laser eye on modern consumerism and slavish acceptance of the terms of engagement with American society.

That last page of the novel says Everything. If you get a chance, please do read it!

For balance, you might like to read a very positive assessment of the movie:

If you made it this far - Thank You for reading. 🙏🏻

[sinkableruby]

7, 12, 21, 22

gaming time

7. A series you’ve lost interest in?

oh actually uhhh. minecraft i cant play it anymore its either i try to focus on the building and i run out of materials and i have to go into caves which are prettier now but they're still caves and each trip is a trek or it feels like a trek in my mind and its like actual chores but like not in a fun animal crossing way in a shitty real life way and you have to KEEP GOING BACK and no matter where i put my house i am never satisfied with it and even if i go creative mode and do nice builds that gets old pretty quickly and man i just cant deal with it anymore.

also terraria is better lol

12. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with a set personality and backstory?

stealing dis's answer it probably depends on what works for the game yeah. i love roleplaying a whole lot but i also love seeing other ppls characters. that being said, i wish there were more games that were open in some way to a roleplaying kind of thing. so if you want a straight answer, i'd go with that

21. A boss you think is really cool

oh theres plenty of these yeah i always love like hidden bosses that are really hard like sans, malenia, etc. the challenge is fun and its always cool to be overwhelmed with the difficulty like oh shit playtimes over monster hunter is cool bosses: the game, basically (sometimes annoying bosses but shhh we dont talk about those). odogaron and nergigante from world are my absolute favorites. the sheer Energy odogaron has when attacking you is insane. it's so fast and always just throwing things out, it feels like a dance when you're fighting. very cool and nergigante... nergigante has lots of presentation, but also its spikes are so fun to break, its rewarding. fighting that arch tempered solo was so cool. and of course you have the divebomb:

i love this so much, the person in this video is wearing upgraded armor and fighting a lower level nerg because that move WILL kill you instantly, like always. and the hitbox is HUGE it's ridiculously big. i mean you can see how big it is in that video (that person isn't dodging it right most of the time). but the spectacle of it is so cool too. it roars and spreads its wings like that and you KNOW something big's coming. and you feel that note of panic every time, even when youre used to the fight. its so fun. maybe this appreciation of the unforgiving is why i like malenia (and that bullshit move she does) and sans too lol also shoutout to ftl's final boss (i am so bad at that game) and etg's dragun. also also, shoutout to touhou (all of it). also shoutout to elden ring's elden guy (that is definitely not what its called) big elebit. elden... whatever. it looks so cool :) and the fight is really fun to try no-hitting more emotional wise shoutout to omori's final boss. no spoilers but that one is so powerful and very well executed. omori has great bosses like that that impact you. another one i really like, maybe even more, is the one where this music plays:

it just screams hurt and betrayal (and the fight does too!) and you can just Feel it. and the aftermath of that fight is heartbreaking

22: A boss that was disappointing

oh starbound is perfect for this one. the game is so nice with its cosmetic and customization, and me and my friends were really enjoying it, but the enemies and encounters and bosses in this game were just. not. good. because you could overlevel (idr if level was actually a part of that game, but there was like higher level equipment and stuff) but the bosses werent like matched to your level or anything they just stayed the same level. so you could easily overlevel without knowing it (you might even think ur preparing a reasonable amount, certainly felt that way to us) and when the whole world is filled with nothing but shit thats easy to kill and a boss that's pathetic its like. ah. time to customize a bit more and then the fun is done. kinda kills the hype yk. if it had better fights that game would genuinely be awesome