#i just realised I haven’t been titling these like last year oops

[high-sixing]

WE SHIT POST!

It ain’t me if I don’t get a little meta about this ship. Prompt 3 for @5summersofstancest is “About Time”.

Like a never ending cycle, we fans watch these two numbskulls fight and bicker and avoid talking about their feelings and undying love for each other. And then when they finally get leeway, we ALL celebrate.

“About time, you IDIOTS.”

[drarryangels]

angst corner recs

Hello hello everyone. Long time no see. Here are some fics that I love under the angst tag in my bookmarks that I'd probably (totally) die for. I tried to include mostly fics that I don’t hear people talking a lot about, but there are some big titles in here as well. 

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I'd Catch You by Caellie_E_and_Vaye_Rue_Y, G

...Five times Harry made a promise, and one time he had to fulfill it.

R/N: Royalty au! Friends to lovers! Angsty! Perfection. I got into some heeeavy royalty au obsession for like two days, and was blessed to discover this fic. Seriously, so good. Beware MCD.

Stone, Sky, and Sea by RurouniHime, M

...(In which the Wizarding Saviour wanders about Oop North, tries to escape his partner, and fails miserably.)

R/N: Um this specific writing style is literally everything I love and also everything I aspire to be. Plus, this fic is just... hard to explain but it's so.... nice. Nice writing, nice location. Heartbreaking, but also so sweet.

The Bucket List by GallaPlacidia, NR

Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List....

R/N: I think everyone has read this by now. But if you haven't... seriously do. It's one of the Drarry Classics That Everyone Must Read.

I've Built My Dreams Around You by fwooshy, T

Harry loves Draco. But starting over is hard, even when you're in love.

R/N: Rip my heart out and bury it anyways.

the last time that you touched me by silvergalaxy, M

What do you do when your boyfriend refuses to admit that his snarky comments about your hair are just a cover up so that you don't find out how much he actually loves it?

Harry Potter has a plan.

It doesn't work out quite as hoped.

R/N: I have no idea how many times I've read this fic. Like so many. Sooo many.

Espresso Patronum by tasteofshapes, T

When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.

R/N: Coffeeshop plus enemies to friends to lovers plus potions plus pining and lots of feelings. I can tell you: you want to read it!

Quiet World by augustskies, G

The first time the silence is broken, it’s Harry, nudging Malfoy’s shoulder, pointing out a single firefly perched on the ledge between them.

“Look,” he whispers, forgetting about one hundred and sixty-seven words.

R/N: Such a beautiful fic in a unique world where people can only say a limited amount of words per day. Really puts how inexhaustible what we say is, and what things could be like if our mouths couldn't run on forever. I like how this fic puts it all together, and how it shows that there are things that can be shown without words and those things are equally as important as the things said in words.

if stars died of old age by LiviKate, NR

His mother had had six months after his father had died. But it was expected; they had prepared and were already rather distanced. Draco hadn’t been ready, and Merlin, he had been so in love. He knew he was counting down in weeks, not months.

R/N: Gives me you are the antidote for me vibes but a little bit shorter for all the darlings out there who need shorter fics.

Small Thing by tsauergrass, G

...Or more simply: Draco falling in love with Harry.

R/N: Okay god, but I love this fic. Literally any who knows me knows that I am head over heels for tsauergrass, and none of their works have ever let me down, and I must rec them and comment on them endlessly because I just... cannot imagine a world where my life didn't cross pass with theirs. And GOD WHAT A HORRIBLE THOUGHT (i can't imagine never reading anything of tsauergrass') JUST READ THIS PLS

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia, T

When Harry gets amnesia and forgets he and Draco were ever married, he refuses treatment to remember.

R/N: One of my favorite fics ever, no exaggeration. Beautifully written, incredibly heartbreaking, and so tragically GOOD.

The Green Vial by eidheann, E

After months of seeing Harry Potter walk into his Apothecary disappointed and hopeless, Draco offers to carry the baby that Harry can't. Now he's just got to hide the fact that he's been half in love with Harry for years.

R/N: I know most people don’t really like mpreg, but I do so there. This is so sweet and precious with all the heartbreak and pining and trying for a baby and and and. 10/10 would read. 

Silverpoint by tackytiger, E

...Or: How Harry Potter Fell In Love (and Realised that Draco Malfoy Loved Him Back).

R/N: Tacky is a beautiful writer, and this fic is perfectly heartbreaking so. Yeah. 

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by firethesound, E

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

R/N: There were tears rolling down my neck pretty much the whole time I was reading this. It’s another one of the Drarry Classics I think, but please do proceed with caution because it is quite a bit heavier than the other fics on this rec list. The portrayal of grief is incredibly vivid, and while that is a beautiful and special thing about this fic, it’s also very hard to read about. Really wonderful, but take water breaks in between and breathe a little. 

Blackberry Jam by JulietsEmoPhase, E

10-year-old Harry and Draco are evacuated from London during the Blitz, and through a logistical error, end up sharing not only a home but a bed. Follow them as they grow up against the backdrop of the war, discovering who they really are and slowly falling in love.

WWII Muggle AU. Mild smut, warnings for some thoughts of self harm/suicide.

R/N: This was the first Drarry fic I read over like 7k and I remember thinking how freaking long it was when I read it for the first time (it’s about 36k). My oh my how the times have changed. And yet, this fic is still just as good as ever. 

-

Aaaand that’s the end of the list for now. I hope someone finds something on this list that they enjoy, and please feel welcome to leave additional recs in the comments/reblogs. 

[myidlehand]

Writing Prompt: Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel - fluff / hurt/comfort please - Jaskier gets hurt somehow, Geralt & Eskel take care of him - you can decide on details :)

Hello!

And here it is this blog has hit 1000 followers! So here is another prompt! This one is prompt 3/7 for my followers celebration.

I originally went with Jaskier burns his hands but it was turning way too dark and bleak so I wrote something fluffy instead. I hope you’ll enjoy this silly piece anyway.

Thank you @simeramise for helping and finding me a pun for the title (apparently every prompt in this series gets one, oops)

Cold you feel the love tonight?

“Ar-r-r-re  w-e-e-e-e  close… clos-s-s-s-se  ye-e-e-et?” Jaskier stutters, burying a little bit more against Eskel’s front. Eskel tries to readjust his cape around Jaskier as best he can with only one hand free, the other holding on to the reins.

“The cave is a bit further ahead.”

“I’m so-o-o-o  co-o-old”. Jaskier’s teeth clatter too loud for Eskel’s sensitive ears.

“I know”, he says, kissing the top of Jaskier’s head. “You need to hold on just a little bit more, sweets.” 

Jaskier doesn’t answer but shivers violently. Eskel tries his best to lead Scorpion as safely and quickly as he can to get Jaskier somewhere comfortable, but the sun has almost completely set by now and the path is narrow. Geralt rode ahead of them, to clear the cave they passed by that afternoon. Jaskier’s head falls slightly forward and to the side and Eskel holds onto him a little tighter.

“Stay awake, Jask.”

“‘M tired.”

“I know, but you can’t sleep right now, we need to get you warm first.”

“Sounds nice”, Jaskier replies sleepily.

“Come on, I can smell a fire, we aren’t far.” Eskel pushes Scorpion to just go a little faster. It’s not safe but Jaskier won’t last a lot longer like this.

Finally, Eskel sees the light of the fire and exhales loudly, relieved to finally find safety for his bard. The cave isn’t a cave per se. It’s more of a deep nook in a cliff, but it’s dry and protected from the wind and the cold rain. It’s not ideal, but it’ll be much better than sleeping on the humid ground. Eskel dismounts first then helps Jaskier get off the horse. A small fire is already going, and clothes have been laid around it, just close enough to make them warm. Geralt and Jaskier’s bedrolls have already been pushed side by side on the ground as well. As soon as Jaskier is off Scorpion’s back, Geralt emerges from the forest with an armful of wood, hopefully dry enough to last them the night.

“The wood’s clear,” he says immediately, dumps the woods and goes to them. Eskel pushes Jaskier towards him a little, enough for Geralt to grab him close and start rubbing his arms up and down.

“How are you feeling?” he asks gently.

“So-o-o-o co-o-o-old“, Jaskier answers, trying very hard to keep his teeth from clattering and shivering.

“I know, let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”

“Oh Geralt if I kn-e-e-e-e-ew you wanted me naked I’d… would have fall… fallen into a frig-i-i-id river so-o-n-n-n-er”, Jaskier answers with a chuckle and a wink, shivering uncontrollably. Eskel snorts and leads Scorpion away, to secure him for the night and get the rest of their stuff to the little fire camp.

“You’re such an idiot sometimes”, Geralt answers with a fond eye-roll.

“But you love me anyway”, Jaskier grins at him, and Geralt takes his hand to lead him to the fire.

They go in stages. As soon as his soaked doublet and shirt come off, Geralt dries him off with warm rags he’s put near the fire and wrestles him quickly into a warm shirt and gambeson. By the time his boots, pants and underthings are off, Eskel is back by their side, putting his own bedroll next to theirs. When he’s settled, Eskel comes to help dry Jaskier’s hair as best they can then leads him to the bedrolls. Jaskier goes down, immediately going under the blanket and grabbing at the nearest Witcher he can find. Eskel joins him easily enough and Geralt is not far behind, joining them as soon as he’s done laying out all of Jaskier’s wet stuff. Eskel rearranges the blanket on top of all three of them, while Jaskier presses his back to Geralt’s front. Geralt throws an arm around his middle and kisses Jaskier behind the ear, where he knows it will earn him a little appreciative noise he loves. Even in warm clothes and between his two big Witchers, Jaskier is still quite cold and keeps on shivering.

“Try to relax”, Geralt says. “You’ll shiver less if you do and your teeth will stop clattering.”

“That doesn’t sound right", Jaskier responds dubiously.

“Try anyway“, Geralt whispers in his ear, breath hot on his skin and a very different kind of shiver seizes Jaskier’s entire body. 

But Geralt is right, of course. After a while, the shivers stop coming, and Jaskier starts to feel better and a little tired again. It’s nice being surrounded by his lovers heat and smell, wearing their clothes. Jaskier his pretty sure the pants are Geralt’s. They are quite narrow at the waist so definitely not Eskel’s. The smallclothes and one of the two pair of socks he’s wearing feel like they are his, but the shirt is a little rougher than what he’s used to. It’s quite big in the shoulders, and it’s either dark red or black, Jaskier can’t quite tell in the low light. It’s probably Eskel’s shirt, but it smells like Geralt. Geralt must have grabbed whatever he could find in Roach saddlebags. It’s quite late in the year, and the three of them have been travelling together since mid-summer, so most of their stuff is mixed together by now. The gambeson is definitively Geralt's, it’s the warmest he has, and he was wearing it that morning. Jaskier has a pang of love when he realises Geralt must have changed into something thinner just so Jaskier could wear the warmest top they own.

“How are you feeling?” Eskel asks quietly when Jaskier’s scent turns a lot less miserable and a lot more content.

“I’m much better. But my hands and feet hurt a little still.”

Eskel grabs one of Jaskier’s knees under the blanket, inviting him to slide his legs up so his feet can come rest between Eskel’s parted legs. Next, he takes Jaskier’s hands in his and starts massaging every finger and blowing hot air on them. Geralt presses a kiss on his neck and Jaskier sighs contentedly.

“Thank you-”, he says after a little while when his fingers are warm and tingly. Eskel doesn’t release them, but instead, he presses them lightly against his chest, his thumb gently stroking small circles. “-for taking care of me tonight. And for…” Jaskier hesitates a second. He takes one of his hands away to link his fingers with Geralt’s on his waist and the other comes to stroke Eskel’s cheek. One of Eskel’s hand finds both of theirs as well. “And for making me feel happy and loved even when you have to fish me out of a stupidly cold river. I love you, both so much” he adds quietly.

Eskel kisses the inside of the hands Jaskier has on his cheek and shuffles closer, putting Jaskier’s hand on his chest again.

“Love you too, sweets”, he answers, content.

Geralt doesn’t reply, but Jaskier doesn’t need him to, the small smile he can feel at the back of his neck is loud enough.

***

I know it’s not the best and it’s a bit silly and it’s been done a million times, but I hope you’ll still enjoy it a little. I'm putting these in AO3 too cause Tumblr won't format right.

Now the thing is, I messed up. Cause I thought I would have loads of time to fill the seven prompts I received before hitting this milestone. Which I didn’t so this is only prompt 3/7 when I should have posted the last one when I got to 1000.

I will definitively answer all 7 but the I’ve been having a rough time lately and while the first 3 prompts came quite easily I haven’t had the mental energy to sit down and properly think about the other 4. I have an outline for 2, I just need to find the words. So please be patient with me if you sent a prompt? It will get answered I just can’t say when exactly. Sorry about that.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Teenage!Chucky x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: There Are Worse Things You Could Do

Notes:

This is, of course, based loosely on the song from Grease that Rizzo sings, ‘There Are Worse Things I Could Do’. 

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is a repressed childhood memory. I know I watched it multiple times, but I forgot everything. This is only barely relevant.

I’m obsessed with teenage!Slashers x Readers... I don't think I’ve written for normal adult Chucky, oops. 

Plot: 

You’re having an emotional night, when all the things build up and you just feel like crap. And on the top of the list? Why, what everyone else seems to think of you, of course! Its always the way.

Don’t worry though, your no-judgment friend comes to lay out the law. There are worse things you could be doing, babe.

And, theirs also romance brewing if you read the bonus part XD 

Warnings: Talk of slut shaming, sexual references, swears- a general PG rating though I think? Not worse then How I Met Your Mother I don't think, except it contains more swears. 

~~~   

“Hey, sexy legs. You’re usually in bed by now aren’t you?” Chucky’s voice calls through your open window and your phone, and you look over to see him there rather then at his home, talking to you on the phone. Your eyes widen from surprise, appropriately. As one would do when someone climbs through your window without warning.

“What are you doing here??” You get up quickly and close your bedroom door. Everyone else in the house is asleep, but you aren’t taking any chances, and lock it as well. You should be in bed, honestly. You’re in your pyjamas and everything -Oversized hoodie and undies, -. You know you would probably feel better about… the world in general, or more specifically yourself in this particular instance… if you did go to sleep for a while. You’re aware. You know this. But… no. Something in you says to just stay awake and suffer through it.

Its lovely.

You two sit down on your bed, getting comfy at the headboard beside each other as he explains, coarsely and shortly, that he doesn’t like talking on the phone. You don’t know why you’re comfortable with Chucky -he’s crude and reeks of bad decisions, -, but… eh. You started talking to him at the start of the year since he was the only other person in one of your new classes that didn’t have a friend there, and he stuck like a bad smell. You are pretty attached to it -him, - though, you guess. Gathering a pillow to your chest and raising your knees up to chin level, you chew the inside of your cheek instead of responding again. You don’t know what to say. He knows how you feel right now- maybe he’ll impart some wisdom onto you.

Peaking over at him and his frustratingly untaken care of hair, you roll your eyes. Yeah right. Chucky cant even take care of his, now, thicket of hair.

When he doesn’t say anything, just looks down the bed at your doona cover, you gather the courage to fish for an explanation. “Why are people so mad that I’m a-a... a… “Suddenly, the word ‘slut’ dies on your tongue as your heart makes a pained yelp about it. Usually, you don’t have a problem with the word. Why should you? Its’ just a word. But… but the looks you get from the people who say it, those hit a different hit a different way. And that’s what has messed you up tonight. Cold looks and disgusted mouths, like you’re a used rag… full of fucking STD’s, or something… Touching your lips instead to the pillow, you shake your head. “Why are they so mean?”

You’ve never hurt anyone. Any guy that you engage with is fully aware what’s happening; You never lead them on to think it’s anything more then just sex. And the last thing you would ever do is make someone uncomfortable- in fact, you probably do too much to avoid that possibility.

But people still… you don’t understand. You don’t understand. Why can’t you just do something you like? What do you have to do to make it okay??!

He rolls his head against the headboard to turn and face you. You don’t shy away from his dull, deadly serious gaze. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? People suck.”

“I, don’t suck.” You press your lips firmly together in a straight line. Even if you are feeling crappy, you wont sink into a puddle of self-despising gruel… even if that is, in fact, how you feel inside. Saying it would only make it real, and some things just don’t need to be made real. Fake it until you make it, cry-baby. You nod to him. “You don’t suck… “Then your lips quirk up a bit, to lighten the mood. “Much.”

“No, see, that’s why I hang out with you! So supportive and encouraging.” He forces a grin for your benefit, looking forward again but this time towards the ceiling. Why is he so down, you wonder?

You force a laugh from your chest. “Yeah.” Closing your eyes, enjoying a little bit the cold of the wood of the headboard against your cheek. “I just don’t understand- “

“Y/N.” The sternness and the steely annoyance in his voice suddenly, cause you to open your eyes and see what’s on his face- ah, it matches his voice. “The only thing you haveta’ understand, is that those people that talk about you because you fuck around, are worthless. Bitch,” You raise your eyebrows and widen your eyes at the name he just called you and he let’s out a dry laugh, looking amazed for a moment as he thinks about those people. Then, leaning into you and talking like he has all the wisdom in the world in his head, he assures you. “There are worse things you could be doing. Trust me.”

Letting out a deep breath and the tension, your roll your eyes and turn forward, thinking about that. Its true, you suppose.

Hugging the pillow tighter and scooching over to collapse into his side, suddenly wanting his affection as well as his words, and because you’re drained, you sigh. “Sorry, I don’t feel much better, but thank you for saying that.” It may have been put kind of crudely… or very crudely… but you’re aware that he meant well. So, you are grateful. Wordlessly, like its somehow the most natural thing in the world, like you’ve done this together before which you most certainly haven’t, Chucky situates himself to make you both more comfortable. Raising his arm so you can fit under it and resting it over your shoulders and shuffling to fit better against you. “You want to watch a movie with me?” Honestly, you just don’t want him skipping off just yet.

Its nice to connect this way with your friend.

You didn’t realise how nice it would feel to spend time like this with him. You would be very, very discontented if he left now.

“Yeah, but I’m picking which fucking one. Leave it up to you in this state, and you’ll put in freaken Sound of Music.”

A few minutes later, after Chucky has thoroughly looked through and critiqued, -and you use ‘critiqued’, very loosely. He mostly insults your five movies, - your small DVD stack and put something in, and returned to the bed and your position from before -even throwing the doona over you both, saying his legs are cold. Which, to that, you give him a slow nod. Yeah right. Sure, - Disney’s opening scene plays, with the castle and Tinkerbelle, and you suppress a snort. But you can’t hide the grin, or stop the words from coming out of your mouth. “’Sound of Music’s bad, but ‘101 Dalmatians’ is okay?” The less you think about your feelings before, the less relevant they seem when you look back two minutes in hindsight. You feel more and more your normal self.

“It was this or fucking ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’, and that’s not happening. Your collection sucks.”

“My collection rocks, you dumbass.”

“Shush, its about to start, No talking during the movie.” His eyes are glued to the screen now, as the beginning credits roll. You grin, but scrunch up your nose too.

“Jesus Christ, you’re one of those? - “A wide, spiteful grin rips across his mouth.

“You betcha! Now shut up, theirs a punishment if you talk.”

Quickly, you turn to the TV. “Oh, jeez.” You shut up as he demanded, at the mention of a punishment.

OPTIONAL BONUS! The next morning- you had to see this coming

Waking up in the morning, you rub your eyes and look over to see Chucky’s blurry figure, still fully clothed from what you can tell including his jacket -hopefully not his boots, - you flash the sleeping boy a courtesy smile for how nice he was to you last night and move your stuff body slowly off the bed and out from under the covers. You imagine your stiffness if from staying in one position the whole freaken night- it was nice, but now your back and your arm are dying.

But… as you put up your hair in a quick ponytail and walk by the mirror, ready to get dressed and wait around for Chucky to wake up so you can see him off, you realise something is… missing, here. Looking down immediately, you realise what it is, and your eyes grow wider then ever before. Like, a full on ‘Oh-My-God-I-Didn’t-Even-Realise-Or-Remember!!’ face and you would have gasped loudly if you hadn’t thought quickly and pressed your lips hard together.

Your underwear. Your underwear is what is gone.

“Goddamnit Y/N, tell me you didn’t… “You whisper, panicking shortly as you pull on some clean ones, and then tip toe around the bed, looking for any sign that Chucky’s pants are anywhere but on him. When you don’t find it, you go ahead and pull up the blanket at the end of the bed and check -not pulling up high enough to see anything but his legs below the knee at first, -  that his legs are covered in the pants. You let out more and more of a relieved breath as he continues to be covered all the way up to his waist. If anyone were watching this, they would laugh like a hyena at your antiques and your expression.

But, even as you discover that he still had his bottom garments on, memories come right back to you from the night and you realise how doomed you are.

It happened. It sure did. You and Chucky Ray fucked last night. Oh god! Oh, dear god!

“I mean, thank God I had condoms in here at least?” You mutter to yourself, sinking down on the bed and covering your face in your hands in embarrassment. “Ugh… “

Also, you think as you remember the events, face still in your hands, it was really good. Not the point right now, but you did learn an important thing last night.

It sure ain’t about size- what they say is true. It really is about what you do with it.

Y/N goddamnit that is absolutely not the point here.

“Aghhh, I knowwww… “You whisper back to your own thoughts.

A minute later, Chucky wakes up and you peak over your shoulder at him when he sits up, as guilty as a child with jam on your hands. You don’t actually have any jam of course, but there certainly is a stain somewhere. And a certain sticky sensation still under your underwear. “… Hi Chucky. Do you… happen to remember… what happened last night?”

He but smirks at you.

You respond by deadpanning. Well, in that case, you’re not embarrassed anymore either. Getting up, you scratch the back of your head and move to goon with your day. Shower, first of course. “Okay, well if you’re done here I gotta take a shower and clean up what is probably a nasty mess,” You squint pointedly at him. “That you left, wherever you dropped the condom.” You can’t imagine Chucky was courteous and found a bin for it.

“Goodbye kiss?”

“Wh- “You look back at him from the bedroom door that you were about to leave out of, see him grinning and roll your eyes. Ah, joking. He’s joking. Funny man! Not that you would have kissed him it was a legit request… aha, not at all! You didn’t want that! … hahahaha… “You’re very funny.” Then your eyes widen, and you rush back to your dresser for your body lotion. “Oh! I forgot my- “Focusing on rifling through your dresser, you don’t really pay attention to what Chucky is up to. You do hear him get out of the bed, but you suspect he’s headed for the window. When you find the pretty purple bottle, you go to turn and waive bye to him but end up stuck in place.

He's behind you, and his hands are on your hips again. Keeping you in place this time as you hug your lotion bottle and look like a deer in headlights, vaguely sceptical about this, and find his eyes in the mirror. “… yes?”

“Y/N, I was serious about that goodbye kiss.” A wicked grin catches his eyes that sends a surprising, new feeling down from your heart to… let’s just say another place... “Unless you want me to join you in the shower.”

For a moment you just pause and take in the moment for what it is- very arousing and also the beginning of a wonderful new chapter in your friendship. Then you scoff and smack him gently with the purple lotion bottle. “My parents are awake now, are you crazy? Now go home, I’ll text you later.”

You turn around, as if you’re going to fly past him and out the door but he manages to press forward in time and stick you to the dresser, hands on your waist and knee between your legs now. With the golden morning light slipping through the still open window from last night that he had crawled through, in the perfect light of day and not the secret stars, like you’re actually a couple, Chucky gives you a kiss that you reciprocate all too eagerly. Its just as good as last night, maybe better.

“… Hey Y/N? I have a solution to your problem last night that I think you’ll like. By definition, a slut is a woman who has many fuckbuddies. I have a special onetime only proposition for you babe that’ll grind that number down to just one.”

[pakchoys]

on that note, do you have any edling fic recs? 👀

this would be a lot easier if i bookmarked all the fics i read. huh

i haven’t actively read any since the days when i consumed edling at a horrifying rate to ease the suffering of being fifteen. obviously there are the ones i wrote as noodlebunny on ao3, but those are a dumpster fire, good god

the ones i saved are probably ones you’ve read if you’ve spent any time on the edling tag at all, soooo……… can i interest you in some meagre edling dug up from my old fma files? it’s a modern au where ed adopts nina, alternatively titled Ed Fights A Twelve Year Old Then Meets His Future Boyfriend

Words: 1.6k

TW for implied child abuse

Edward watches Nina from a bench at the edge of the play park. He shifts his grip on his paper cup while Nina moves from the slide to the monkey bars. There was a time where he would have been up there with her, arms raised and ready if she fell; now that Nina’s seven years old, however, she’s a self-proclaimed big girl who can tackle the monkey bars herself. It’s good, seeing her so independent.

If only Ed’s heart wouldn’t plummet into his stomach every time she so much as slips.

It can’t be helped. Al calls him an over protective mother hen; Ed calls himself sensible, thank you kindly.

Nina clears the monkey bars without a hitch. From the top of the unholy metal playpark structure of death, she gives Ed a winning smile and a wave, sending her two braids flying. Ed waves back, adding a thumbs up for good measure.

His phone pings. Ed fishes it out of his jacket.

Al’s texted, Want to see the cat I saw on campus today??? followed by a string of cat emojis dispersed with hearts.

not really, Ed replies, a smile tugging at him because he knows Al knows he’s lying.

Oops, too late, Al says. The cat’s cute, sort of. Ed doesn’t really get the beasts, but Al’s crazy for them and so is Nina, which means it’s such a damn nightmare when Al encourages her.

demon gremlin creature, Ed sends.

He’s so preoccupied with watching the dots as Al types that he doesn’t hear Nina until she’s crying.

His phone is left abandoned on the bench as he sprints towards her, and oh god, she’s on the ground—what if something’s broken? What if she hit her head, what if—what if she’s hurt bad just because Ed couldn’t keep an eye on her, not for five damn minutes—what if they take her away—

Not until he’s stopping next to her does Ed realise that there’s another girl there too. She’s already helping Nina sit up, her crying has already beginning to taper into little sniffles.

“Nina,” Ed says gently, “Are you okay? Where does it hurt?”

“‘M fine, big brother.” She looks up at him through her tears, as stoic as a seven year old in yellow dungarees can be. Too brave, too willing to hide her pain. “I fell off the climbing wall. It’s just a scrape.”

He gingerly checks her knee over and, yeah, it’s just a sluggishly bleeding cut but there’s sure to be bruising. The plasters and disinfectant are all back at the apartment.

“Oh, here, I can help!”

In what Alphonse fondly dubs as Big Brother Panic, Ed had completely forgotten the girl who helped Nina up. She looks maybe a few years older than Nina, but she’s short and her black hair is in two massive buns so it’s hard to tell. Rifling through her pink backpack, she pulls out a box of plasters and antiseptic salve.

“You just carry that around with you?” Ed asks flatly.

The little girl, previously so sweet to Nina, shoots him a cold glare. “What’s it to you, shortie?”

“Wh—Hey! You’re like, ten! Shortie! Shortie?! I’m a damn giant next to you!”

“Yeah, next to me.” She rolls her eyes. “Not saying much, is it? And I’m twelve, so watch it, or I’ll cut you down another inch.”

Ed’s in half a mind to pick Nina up and nope the fuck out of here. ‘Roasted by a twelve year old’ wasn’t on his schedule. He does the roasting, dammit.

“Big brother, calm down,” says Nina. “You’re being silly.”

Oh, Ed woes the day this doe-eyed girl wrapped him around her little finger.

“Right. Sorry, kiddo.”

“Anyway, I’m Mei,” says the demon in the body of a girl with a pink backpack. “I’m gonna be a doctor someday, so I can help you out.”

“I’m Nina! This is my big brother, Edward. He’s grumpy right now but he’s really the best.”

“Hm.” Mei narrows her eyes at him. “We’ll see.”

He will not stick his tongue out at a child. He will not stick his tongue out at a child.

To her credit, Mei is efficient and gentle about dressing Nina’s cut. She’s got excellent bedside manner too, and by the end of it Nina’s tears are all gone and she’s warmed to Mei like a new best friend. Not all kids are good with younger kids, and Ed’s silently impressed.

“Are you out here alone?” Ed asks as he helps Nina up. Not that Central in the middle of the day is especially dangerous.

“Naw, I’m with my brother. He went to get us ice cream, and then I saw Nina fall down, so I came over to help.”

“Nice of you.”

“Yeah, I’m a nice person.” Mei shrugs her backpack on. “We can’t all be, I suppose.”

“Hey kid, is that supposed to mean something—“

“Big brother Ed, can we get ice cream?” Nina clings very suddenly to Ed’s automail arm, tugging enthusiastically. She’s always been casual about his prosthetics. It’s nice to have someone who doesn’t give it a second glance, even if that someone is a tiny child begging for more sweets.

“I guess so,” ponders Ed, pretending to debate it. “You have been pretty brave today. And it’s hot out. But try be more careful playing next time, okay?”

“‘Kay! Ice cream?”

“Sure.”

“Yay! You’re the best, big brother!”

Ed can’t help but notice Mei watching them strangely. He’s sure they must look strange and not related at all, what with Ed’s Xerxian complexion. Whatever.

“In that case, come meet my brother,” Mei says. “He’s probably waiting for me at the ice cream place. Havoc’s, you know the one?”

“We went there for my birthday!” Nina’s bouncing now. Ed’s whole arm shakes.

“Well, come on then. I have a feeling my bro’s gonna like you.” Mei looks at him funny as she says it. Ed does not like this child.

It’s busy out on such a sunny day. Ed gets a few stares at his arm, and he almost, almost regrets going out in a t-shirt. Then Nina holds his hand tighter, beaming up at him, and he breathes easier.

Now if only he could bring himself to wear shorts too.

“There he is,” says Mei as the ice cream place comes into view. “Ah, jeez, he’s shirtless again.”

“Wait, what?” says Ed.

Mei ignores him in favour of stalking up to a guy about Ed’s age, nineteen or maybe older, who is indeed entirely shirtless. Ed looks furiously away.

“Hey, you dolt!” Mei near-shouts, drawing looks from bystanders. “Put your shirt on in public! You’re so embarrassing, Ling, I can’t believe we’re related.”

“Aw, is my baby sister embarrassed?” Ling chuckles and ruffles her hair, wincing as his hand is slapped away. “It’s hot. I’m just airing out!”

“It’s public indecency, if you’re looking to get arrested again. Where’s our ice cream?”

“Oh, that. It’s a funny story, you know…”

“You ate it?! Again?”

“Ahahah…”

“Buy me another!”

“I would, I would! But that was the last change I had…”

“Ugh! Next time I’m going with Lan Fan and you can’t come.”

“Hey, hey, it’s not my fault you took so long! Chill!”

“I was helping out a girl with a cut knee, so don’t give me that crap.”

Ling seems to notice them, then. He pushes his floppy black hair away and gives Ed a winning grin, sticking his hand out to shake. Ed cringes; he’s gonna have to use his automail hand, and that makes people act so annoyingly awkward.

Ling just grips his hand without missing a beat, shaking firmly.

“I’m Ling!”

“… Ed. This is Nina.”

“Hiya, Nina!” Ling bends down slightly to wave. “Wow, I love your braids. Stylish.”

“Thanks!” Nina chirps, encouraged out of her shell by Ling’s friendliness. She’s not what Ed would call a shy child, but there was a period where she was so withdrawn Ed worried she’d never recover from what her bastard of a father did to her.

Tried to do.

“Your sister’s right,” says Ed to Ling. “You should put a shirt on.”

Way to make friends, idiot. So friendly and approachable.

Ling stares; Mei snorts. Ed contemplates his own terrible, off putting personality.

Then Ling waggles his eyebrows and says, “What, don’t like what you see?”

“Wh— Hey—!” He’s spluttering and bright red and say something! “No, it’s terrible! I hate it! Put a damn shirt on!”

Not that!

He doesn’t dare look Ling in the eyes as he briskly scoops Nina up, much to her indignation, and escapes into the ice cream parlour. He just knows the shirtless idiot is watching him.

“Big brother, can we see them again? They’re so cool!”

“No, they’re not, Nina. They’re the worst and we hate them. Pick a flavour.”

“But what about Mei? She doesn’t get any ice cream!”

“Too bad.”

Oh, no. He’s done it now. Nina’s eyes begin to water and Ed’s heart clenches, already knowing he’s done for.

“Hey, kiddo, I’m sorry.”

“If Mei doesn’t get any, I won’t have any. ‘S not fair if I’m the only one…”

Ed closes his eyes. His counts to three. He faces the facts.

“If that’s the case…”

—

Later, when they all have ice cream out of Ed’s pocket and stupid Ling is wearing a stupid shirt, Ed adamantly pretends not to hear Mei lean over and say,

“See, I told you my brother would like you.”

—

A/N: ED STOP CUSSING IN FRONT OF CHILDREN

[irelise]

Fic “Behind the Scenes” - Alex Rider

Trying to dip my toes back into writing, so I thought I’d ramble about some fics I’ve already written! This started off as ranting about my title choice and how they’re usually Final Fantasy XIV songs I butcher in order to forcibly fit the fic, but it expanded into musings about things that didn’t make the cut into the final fic, and potential sequels/things that happen down the line.

Just doing Alex Rider fics for now since that’s my current active fandom, but drop me an ask if there are any fics you’re especially interested in from any fandom!

Starting off with: Time (2368 words, gen, Alex & Yassen focused) aka my untagged Inception-flavoured AU where the plot twist was that it was a dream all along That said, this title was probably one of the easiest to come up with and was obviously from the main theme of Inception, Time! Which is fantastic like the whole movie aaaa i love Inception AUs and this fic is probably the one I’m most likely to expand into longfic if I dredge up the motivation from somewhere. It would be a mission style fic, possibly a heist, where Alex and Yassen are seemingly working together in order to steal some valuable intel from another group. Of course, it’s all a dream! Through copious dream symbolism and mind fuckery the real mission was set up by MI6 for Alex to extract intel from Yassen, who by this point is steadily losing his grip on dreams and reality after months, possibly years, spent under sedation.

Yassen has a few tricks up his sleeve, though. He’s aware that he’s (probably) dreaming and he can see the fractures in Alex’s resolve after such a long time of being used and manipulated by MI6. It would only take a little nudge to get Alex to defect -- or, at the very least, to escape.

So while Alex is busy trying to extract information from Yassen, Yassen is trying to do the opposite: inception.

The rest below cut for length and also because they’re nsfw since most of my writing was for the kink meme! Warning for general fucked-upness and unhealthy relationships

at the end, on a dusty road  (8154 words, Yassen/Alex) aka the reputation sabotage fic, aka where’s part 3b?!

Title from Origa’s Polyushka Polye:

The wind scatters your brave songs Across the green field. Songs of the past, Leaving them alone with your glory, And right at the end, on a dusty road…

i just wanted something wistful and Russian about past soldiers and fading glory ok....... I came pretty close to titling the fic leaving them alone with your past glory but decided it didn’t make much sense out of context.

ANYWAY my first Yalex fic! Very much inspired by a hodgepodge of comments on Discord about how MI6 would react if they ever saw Yassen paying Alex visits in the middle of the night - “Could they be exchanging information?” “The whole night? Maybe the answer is something more obvious...”

ANYWAY the ending at the moment is pretty open - there’s two main ways I see it going:

1) Yassen comes back shortly afterwards, realises he had fucked up colossally, stays and helps Alex rebuild even though Alex (very justifiably) no longer trusts him. Very slow reconciliation and healing but ultimately happy ending.

2) aka the one where I broke Nanibun’s shipper heart over Discord: Alex and Yassen eventually reunite, but it isn’t until years later, when Alex is nearing middle age and Yassen has faded into obscurity. Alex managed to pick up the pieces of his life and even moved on properly from MI6, and now lives a fulfilling life. Married, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, the whole lot. So what if his marriage is more for partnership than for love? He’s content with the direction his life had taken and has strong ties to his community. He even managed to forgive Yassen, even though it took him a long time.

He and Yassen meet for the last time in a sunlit cafe in spring. Alex looks at Yassen and sees only a stranger with lines crinkling under his eyes.Yassen is getting old, he realizes. He thinks he should be happy that Yassen even had the chance to get old, but all he feels is relief that their paths had diverged. Alex is done with that life and he can never trust Yassen again. All that old passion had burned away to nothing, not even a flickering flame. Even though the initial parting had been painful, Alex had managed to find peace long ago, and he hopes Yassen will be able to do the same. But it's a distant, unemotional hope, the sort of hope you'd have for a distant acquaintance you haven't seen in years. The type of well wishes that are etiquette more than actual sentiment.

He's glad when their drinks are finished and Yassen melts away into the chattering springtime crowd, one final dangling chapter of his life closed at last.

.

...............or, 3) Alex throws himself into increasingly dangerous situations in an attempt to feel something and dies young.

(part 3b is coming someday i swear! it’s the alternate path where Yassen has second thoughts, tells Alex the truth, and doesn’t send the sex tape to MI6)

---

Lemniscate  (3562 words, Julia Rothman/Yassen) Not a whole lot to say about this one, except after I finished I realised it was really similar to another fic I previously wrote which also involved a young man desperate to reinvent himself completely being taken advantage of by his superior............ i have a Type

Title - I was jamming out to Locus while writing this which is a song all about an inability to escape from cycles - When fighting back right out of this system/Means falling back right into this space ; When falling back is better than simply/Falling back into pieces again  - but it was long and unwieldy so I thought about shortening it to Moebius but that was a bit overdone... In the end I settled with Lemniscate which is also an infinity symbol, Moebius-like shape. Mostly it’s a reference to how Yassen never quite breaks free of his “cycle” even though he’s with Scorpia now - he was Sharkovsky’s slave and bedwarmer and...now he plays basically the same role for Julia Rothman. (Just with a bit more murder and moral erosion!)

---

This probably needs a special content warning - major character death (gun suicide from the second Russian roulette scene), gore, necrophilia

closing the circle (3650 words, John Rider & Yassen) aka is it still a gen fic if there’s offscreen necrophilia?

This was originally written for a kink meme prompt for corpse mutilation + necrophilia but then the John and Yassen plot thread kind of took over and I never actually ended up writing the gory stuff oops since it was too out of place compared to the rest. So everything below can be considered not “canon” since the fic diverged so heavily from its original plan (which is why the section numbers skip around - I cut out Yassen’s bits). But if you’re curious, here’s the details for what I originally planned to happen to Yassen (well, his corpse) and the Sharkovsky family, copy-pasted straight from my notes and full of as much karma as I could stuff in:

Yassen’s death, Sharkovsky shoves his fingers in the bullet hole and spits on the body in disgust. Yassen regains consciousness halfway through this; he can feel what Sharkovsky is doing

Ivan comes running in, attracted by the sound of the gunshot. Sharkovsky tells him to do what he likes with the body as long as it’s disposed of in the end. Necrophilia scene? Afterwards Ivan disposes of the body by locking it in the cellar alone with the Dalmatian for a few days

Yassen starts getting his revenge. Ivan is the first to go when he comes to let the Dalmatian out – the Dalmatian savages him and tears out his throat before it’s finally shot. Yassen’s bones get buried along with the Dalmatian. Ivan’s body is kept in the cold storage room in the basement where they kept the old food taster’s body while they decide what to do with him.

Maya, Sharkovsky’s wife, is next. She passes away in the middle of the night. Sharkovsky wakes up next to a cooling corpse.

There are whispers that there is some sort of curse. One of the maids talk about finding blood on the carpet of Sharkovsky’s study. She’s the next to disappear. Some other workers stop turning up.

Finally it’s Sharkovsky’s turn. He dies of poison. The dacha burns down that same night.

A Scorpia agent was sent to tie up loose ends (Scorpia didn’t know Sharkovsky is already dead); Yassen kills him too. He has no loyalty to Scorpia and just wants to be left alone.

Hunter is sent to investigate. He and Yassen talk, in the end, Hunter invites Yassen to come with him, Yassen agrees. But when they leave the dacha and Hunter looks back, he finds that Yassen is gone.

And an excerpt:

Yassen is dead. He does not remember dying. There are some things the human mind tries to shield itself from, and the memory of a bullet traveling through bone and brain to erupt on the other side in a shower of gore is one of those things.

Yassen is dead. He had hoped death would mean oblivion. At his most naïve and optimistic, he had hoped death would mean reunion. Happiness. A return to simpler days.

He discovers, instead, that death is not so different from life, except he is even more powerless now than before.

There is a body on the floor of Sharkovsky’s study. Its hair had once been pale white-blond, but now it is matted with coagulating blood. That same blood spreads in a dark pool against the carpet, clotting the fibres together into ugly clumps, stiff and flaking. The fire in the hearth is still burning sullenly. Its light glistens against the grotesque strands of viscera splattered against the ground, the furniture, the wall. A round hole had been punched into the side of the corpse’s head, piercing bone and brain. That was how the man who had once been Yassen Gregorovich had killed himself. The fingers of the corpse remain loosely curled around the old-fashioned revolver that had been the instrument of death.

The only living person in the room rises slowly from his wheelchair. Sharkovsky’s skeletal face is twisted into an ugly grimace of anger. He totters over to the corpse, nudging it with the tip of one polished leather shoe. “Waste of time,” he says coldly. “Ruining a perfectly good carpet, and for what?”

In a sudden fit of temper, he lashes out with a kick. Once, it would have been strong enough to break several ribs (Yassen knows from intimate experience). Now, the corpse merely flops limply to one side. It incenses Sharkovsky further. He drops heavily to his knees, breathing harshly, and backhands the corpse across the face with one shaking hand.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Kingjin au

Characters; Kim Seokjin , Min Yoongi , Kim Namjoon Genre; Humour and I guess fluffy ending. Royalty AU too ig Warnings; Few minor curse words but otherwise nothing Word count; 1.4k

Seokjin is a shit King, Yoongi is fed up of being his babysitter and Namjoon is just an innocent jewellery maker that gets dragged into the King’s shit. But ends up with a worldwide handsome man in his bed so who’s the real winner here.

⦁ Okay so we start the story at the castle where the yearly ball is held to celebrate another year under King Kim Seokjin's reign ⦁ Speaking of the King ⦁ He's standing on his chair at the head table as music plays and guests dance and talk ⦁ And he's telling jokes ⦁ People are laughing in that painful way where they don't find the joke funny but don't know what else to do ⦁ I mean, you'd laugh too if your ruler is playing comedian ⦁ "Your Majesty, I believe you've graced us with enough of your jokes now"- Advisor to the King, Min Yoongi or as he's more commonly known; The King's babysitter. ⦁ "Nonsense, Yoongi-chi! I have plenty of jokes left! I can go all night!" ⦁ Somehow, he failed to notice the despair in his subjects eyes. ⦁ Fast forward to the next day where Yoongi is lecturing Seokjin yet again about how a king should act ⦁ "I'm the King, I think only I can judge how the King of my country should act" The childlike pout and sulkily folded arms over the slumped torso of the king is prime example of how Yoongi got his nickname. ⦁ "Nobody takes you seriously, Seokjin. I'm surprised the people haven't started an uprising to dethrone you yet. You act like a child." ⦁ "My people would never! They love me!" ⦁ "As a court jester, sure, a competent ruler however? Not so much." ⦁ "Oh you'll see, this country would fall apart without me!" Followed by a dramatic exit from the advisor's office leaving poor Yoongi with yet another headache and stacks of work to do on the King's behalf. ⦁ That night Seokjin sneaks out of the castle with a plan to prove his point ⦁ He's determined to prove to Yoongi that the country needs him as King and that by the next evening, everything will have fallen to shit ⦁ Except the next day passes and the castle still stands ⦁ Seokjin watches from a little cottage on a nearby hill with his eye pressed to the smaller end of the telescope. ⦁ "A-are you going to return now, Your Majesty?" Poor innocent Namjoon never imagined he'd get dragged into anything even remotely regarding the Royal family. ⦁ Namjoon had always been happy on the outskirts, far enough from the general population to not be bothered but still close enough that he could bike into town to gather provisions whenever he needed to. ⦁ He lived a simple happy life out there on his little hill with the wild flowers and books he pressed them into to make into bookmarks and jewellery that he sold at the market once a month ⦁ And then before the sun had even arisen that morning King Kim Seokjin stumbled out of the nearby woods and onto his porch. ⦁ He hadn't left since ⦁ "Not until they beg," ⦁ Namjoon sighed for he knew the last thing anyone would do was beg to have Kim Seokjin back in charge ⦁ So suddenly Namjoon's life was no longer simple and quiet but full of a sulking royal taking up his own bed and lounging on his favourite arm chair by the window to squint out across the green green grass at the castle ⦁ "I saw another guard today," Namjoon had just returned from his daily ride through the woods. ⦁ "What did they say?" ⦁ "Well, they're not exactly going out of their way to look for you," He admitted and the king groaned, throwing his arms up dramatically before muttering to himself grumpily in a way Namjoon was certain would've been a hex if only magic was real ⦁ Three weeks passed before Seokjin realised his plan was failing and the castle was thriving without him ⦁ In his absence Yoongi had been making all the decisions and the country was honestly better for it ⦁ But of course, if King Seokjin is one thing, it's a stubborn dumbass ⦁ "New plan, Namjoonie," ⦁ "Do I have a say?" ⦁ "Not in the slightest." ⦁ Which is how that very same afternoon Namjoon found himself standing infront of Yoongi on the opposite side of his large wooden desk in his office ⦁ "Ransom?" Yoongi questioned after reading the note previously handed to him that the advisor instantly knew was written by the king ⦁ "Uh, yes, ransom." An awkward shuffle. ⦁ "You're telling me you've had the King in your home for the past three weeks and now demand to be paid to return him?" ⦁ "Yep, that-that's what the note says." ⦁ "You know I was raised with Seokjin, right? I know how handwriting almost as well as my own?" ⦁ Namjoon only gave a sheepish grin. ⦁ And then Yoongi turned and tossed the note into the fireplace behind him before getting up and crossing his study to uncover the safe hidden behind an end table ⦁ A large sack of coins was soon in Namjoon's hands. ⦁ "Here," ⦁ "This...this feels like a lot." ⦁ "Mmh, at least double what you asked. You'll need the compensation for dealing with his shit." ⦁ "Uhm, excuse me, what?" ⦁ "Keep him, if he's gone for a day longer the council agreed to hand the title of King to me. Let's all be honest right now, he's a shit King." ⦁ "I mean, I can't argue that," ⦁ "So, keep him until tomorrow and then tell him he's no longer King and if he returns he'll have to work for me." ⦁ "Can't you tell him?" ⦁ One note handwritten by Yoongi later and Namjoon was plodding back home with his messenger bag weighed down with shiny coins. ⦁ He made sure to take the longe route home just so he didn't have to try to keep the secret from his uninvited guest for quite as long ⦁ And then it was almost midnight and he was stepping into his cosy little cottage ⦁ Seokjin was already asleep in the armchair ⦁ Namjoon spent the night in his own bed for the first time in three weeks ⦁ The next morning he gave Seokjin the note ⦁ He expected the elder to yell at him for hiding it ⦁ He expected Seokjin to scream and do more of his posessed mutterings and curse the whole town ⦁ But the no longer King simply plucked a few pieces of gold from the sack and opened the front door ⦁ "Where are you going?" ⦁ "Does it matter? It's all downhill from here," And then he was gripping the doorframe for support as tears rolled down his cheeks and laughter hurt his lungs "Get it?! Because we're on a hill!" ⦁ It was the first time Namjoon had heard one of Seokjin's infamous jokes in person ⦁ And honestly, he laughed ⦁ Seokjin turned to him with a warmth in his chest that he had never felt before ⦁ "You laughed, at my joke. A real laugh, not the fake ones to keep me happy." ⦁ "It was funny," ⦁ The door closed and Seokjin marched across the wooden floor to throw his arms around the kind younger man's shoulders ⦁ "Uhm, Seokjin-ssi?" ⦁ "Hyung, call me hyung," ⦁ "Oh...okay, hyung." Namjoon's arms wrapped around Seokjin's waist ⦁ For the first time in his life, Namjoon thought that having another person so close wouldn't be so bad. ⦁ So Seokjin officially moved in ⦁ He collected a few of his belongings from the castle and made Yoongi promise to visit and invite both him and Namjoon to all the parties ⦁ Namjoon taught Seokjin about the flowers and how to make various things to sell at market and improve their home ⦁ Seokjin didn't have the best skill but he had a lot of creative ideas ⦁ Soon enough their crafts were the talk of the town and not long after the country ⦁ Even though they had plenty of money to spare they stilled stayed in their modest little one bedroom tucked up close together every night with love in their eyes and swelling their chests together ⦁ And they just knew that they would have a long and happy life together right there where it all started in their little cottage up on the hill

[Author’s note]

This was supposed to be just a quick lil bulletpoint au based on the prompt;

“You kidnap the King of a large country and hold him for ransom. You are shocked when you received twice what you asked for from them with a single note reading: ‘Twice the amount to make sure he never comes back’ ”

But I got more into the idea as I wrote so yeah, more detailed than it should’ve been oops lol sorry I keep playing with the idea of making it into an actual fully written story but im not sure Let me know if you think I should and maybe it could be a whole series and we can have new King Yoongi hire an advisor, mayhaps a certin little Jiminie ;) But that’s getting ahead of myself (guard Hoseok and Jungkook NO! swordsmith jk with the muscles and sweat ehehhe. Namjoon’s florist friend tae who is lowkey in love with the town swordsmith but too shy to talk to him. Little does he know the swordsmith has a weakness for cute boys that sell pretty flowers for a living.)

~Chee

[tsarisfanfiction]

Reunite (Tales From The Heart)

Fandom: One Piece Rating: Gen Warnings: set post-canon so probably AU Characters: Penguin, Shachi, Law, OC

Penguin and Shachi hung over the railing of the Polar Tang, staring at the looming shape with nervous anticipation. The rest of the crew left them alone, giving them some space as they bustled around, fidgeting with the sail to bring it to where they wanted it.

It had been Law's idea to come back. With Mugiwara finally the undisputed Pirate King (or as undisputed as the title could be), and their own position as his allies firmly cemented (Law had never been able to shake the rubber nuisance after Punk Hazard and had finally given up trying), there was nothing keeping them in the Grand Line. Oh, sure, technically, they were a Yonkou crew now, but as Law had reasoned, if Akagami no Shanks could make side stops all the way to East Blue, they could just as easily slip back into North Blue for a little while. Mugiwara would keep their territories and allies safe in the meantime.

Their captain had wanted to go back to Minion Island, he'd admitted. With Doflamingo a distant bad memory, the island was no longer a nightmare but a grave and he'd wanted to visit it again. The crew had no complaints, aside from the fact that it meant pushing through the Calm Belt and kairoseki hull or not that would always be hair raising, but for Penguin and Shachi it had meant so much more.

They'd always wanted to go to Minion Island. Seeing it on the horizon their entire childhoods, it had been the target of their daydreams and desires. One day, they'd promised as young children, they'd go there. No longer would it be a distant sight, but solid ground beneath their feet. Law had denied them that, all those years ago, refusing to return to the island for reasons it took him years to admit. It seemed ironic that, despite being the neighbouring island to where they'd grown up, they had sailed the entirety of North Blue and the Grand Line before finally setting foot on it.

There had been no fanfare, no sudden celebration. All in all, after everything they'd seen and done it felt anticlimactic, but still, it had been their childhood dream. Fulfilling it had been special, traipsing through the snow with laughter and the energy of their child selves. Law had watched them with a smile on his face, and the entire crew had been drawn into the snowball fight that followed.

They hadn't stayed for long. There was nothing on the island, still largely uninhabited after the tragedy caused by Doflamingo all those years ago, so once Penguin and Shachi's childhood selves had been satisfied, and Law had paid his respects to the unmarked grave of his saviour, they'd bid the island farewell and settled back onto the Tang.

Bepo had been the one to mention Swallow Island, looming through the mist on the horizon. If they were visiting places of nostalgia, then he reasoned that Swallow Island was important. After all, it had been where the Heart Pirates had first formed, even if their name and flag had come later. The rest of the crew, of course, were ecstatic to visit their origins, and had begged Law to give the order.

He'd refused, instead looking to Penguin and Shachi for the decision. Faced with the eager expressions of the crew, they'd agreed, but as they watched the familiar swallow-shaped mountain loom in front of them, knots tightened in their stomachs.

"You didn't have to say yes," Law murmured, coming up between them. They sighed in unison, tearing their eyes from the mountain to look at their captain instead.

"They've probably forgotten us by now," Penguin shrugged. Shachi made a noise of agreement.

"They won't recognise us," he said confidently, before he slumped again. "I'd like to visit Mama and Papa again, though," he admitted quietly. Penguin nodded silently, and Law lightly squeezed their shoulders reassuringly as the Polar Tang effortlessly glided into the small port, completely dwarfing all of the small wooden fishing boats.

Cries, likely of alarm, rose from the shore and they watched the fishermen scrambling into the forest, following the well-trodden path back to the village.

"Well that was to be expected," Penguin muttered glumly, peeling himself away from the railing. "Coming here with our jolly roger on display like it is." Not that there was anything they could have done about it when the Polar Tang herself wore it proudly on her sides. Beside him, Shachi let out a sigh with an undertone that resembled a whine before pushing himself to his full height.

"We're here now," he said, in a tone that betrayed how uncertain he was that it was a good idea. "All hanging around on deck is going to do is delay it." Side by side, the two of them led the Heart Pirates off the ship and onto the shore. The crunch of snow beneath their boots, despite being identical to on Minion Island, was nostalgic and they paused at the sound.

"Stop where you are!" a man ordered, gripping a fishing rod tightly. Behind him a boy cowered, clearly the man's son. He didn't look any older than seven. The crew paused, eyeing him curiously. Penguin and Shachi let out a hiss, abruptly cut off. He was older now, twice as old as when they'd last seen him, but they recognised him nonetheless. He'd never beaten them in a fight, not for lack of trying.

"We're not here for trouble," Law said smoothly, stepping forwards to the head of the crew but no further. He even went as a far as holding his hands up placatingly. Kikoku had been left in his quarters.

"Then what are the Heart Pirates doing so far from the Grand Line?" a sharp female voice demanded. The owner was a plump mature woman, who forged a path through the snow towards them with a fearless purpose. Bundled up firmly against the harsh weather in a thick winter coat and furred hat it was difficult to discern much of her appearance, but Penguin and Shachi visibly recoiled. "Surely it isn't because two little runaways finally realised they owed someone an apology."

"An apology?" Law asked, quirking his eyebrow. "I was not aware anyone in my crew needed to apologise to anyone here."

The woman came to a stop, hands firmly on her hips, right in front of Law. He towered over her, but she wasn't cowed as she met his gaze unflinchingly.

"Fifteen years," she said bluntly. "No word. Not even a note left on the door saying they were going out. We didn't even know they hadn't been killed until two years ago when their bounty posters made it this far. And you say we're not owed an apology?"

Law stiffened and turned to fix Penguin and Shachi with a glare.

"I was under the impression they had told someone they were coming with me," he said pointedly, watching them squirm for several seconds. "Although, considering how idiotic they can be, that was foolish of me."

"I… We… Oops?" Shachi offered, shifting until Bepo was between him and his captain. The mink promptly moved out of the way, wisely deciding that it was not a confrontation he wanted to be in the middle of.

"Oops?" the woman demanded, striding past Law to stand in front of the two men. While not as tall as Law, they both stood a head above her, but that counted for nothing in the face of her disapproval. Law turned to watch, but made no move to interfere, even when she reached up and simultaneously clipped the pair around the ears with enough force to make them wince.

"Boots and coats gone, no note, not even a goodbye!" she scolded. "Injured, with those Donquixote Pirates around. I thought you'd been killed! The entire village was out hunting for you two for weeks, and all you can say is oops?"

"Noona-" Penguin began, only to get his head clapped against Shachi's.

"Don't you Noona me young man!" she interrupted. "Fifteen years with nothing except a bounty poster to tell me you were still alive? You think you can Noona your way out of this like you did when you were children?" Her hands shot out and the two flinched as she grasped hold of their collars firmly.

"We-" Shachi was cut off as she violently tugged the pair forwards into an embrace, crushing them against her chest awkwardly.

"I'm so glad you're safe," she whispered hoarsely, clutching at them tightly as she sobbed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

Slowly the two of them returned the hug, mindless of their nakama watching silently.

"We're sorry, Noona," Penguin apologised.

"We didn't think," Shachi added, falling to his knees to be at a better height despite the snow immediately soaking through his clothes. Penguin followed suit, the woman joining them last as she clutched at them.

Several minutes passed before she released her grip on them enough to let them stand again.

"Well, now that you're home, it's time for dinner," she said brusquely, the effect somewhat ruined by her smiling, tear-stained face. "And then you two owe your parents a visit."

Penguin and Shachi hesitated, looking back at Law and their nakama.

"Noona…" Shachi began awkwardly. "We're not-"

"Of course you're not staying for long," the woman cut him off. "You think I can't see that? Adventurous spirits like your mothers, the pair of you. But as you're here, you may as well have dinner. Your friends too." She turned back and grabbed hold of Law's arm as if he were a lost child and not one of the most wanted men on the sea. "Come along now."

"Obaa-san," Law began, "I don't think-"

"None of that Obaa-san nonsense," she interrupted. "Call me Noona. And of course you're coming to dinner. I haven't thanked you for looking after my little ice storms yet, young man."

Law looked at Penguin and Shachi for confirmation, and after a moment they nodded. He carefully extracted his arm from the woman's sleeve, and she slipped her arms through Penguin and Shachi's instead, leading the procession of Heart Pirates into the village, where they were greeted with gusto, more than one man clapping Penguin or Shachi on the back with a cheerful 'welcome home!'

[clockworkswans]

thoughts on mots:7?? *eyes emoji*

aaaaaaah it feels like SO LONG since we’ve had music, even though we get so much content!  i feel so spoilt lmao.

think i’m gonna skip the tracks from persona, they’re all legends but i’ll end up making this ten pages long otherwise!

under the cut cause it’s looooooong, oops.

interlude shadow - this had some serious challenge coming after its god-tier predecessor, seesaw, ngl, but WOW. yoongi’s solo songs have such a unique style despite being different genres/moods and his lyrics are always what i especially look forward to diving into and shadow was no different! a lot of people say this too but the autotune works SO WELL for him and the way he plays with the rhythms in shadow is amazing. and that last section?? EXPLOSIVE. that’s gonna slay on tour oh my god.

black swan - i wish i’d made notes when it first came out but it took me a while to get used to this sound because it was so interesting and haunting. the topics in this song are so relatable and frightening tbh, it’s something i feel a lot recently, that fear of losing passion for your hobbies and job, etc, and surrendering to the darker emotions of giving up on those dreams (wow, dark, CHILL). after seeing the first performance of it as well!! omg!! some of their absolute BEST choreo yet, easily.

filter - mr. park. JIMIN. I was not prepared for this song and it’s so sexy and smooth and i want to scream thinking about choreo for this on tour, wtf man. this song was my jam right away!! the latin vibes!! rumba/salsa in a club at 2am vibes!! also idk if this is misreading the lyrics but i love the lowkey dark/seductive undertone of making anyone fall in love with you/celeb perception, etc. (probably reading way too much into it lol but still, loved the lyrics). But yes, WOW. Can he let me choreo pls?? i want him to have a CHAIR and a suit and tie and to absolutely destrOY us.

my time - before i go into this, i wanna say how much i loved the vocal line doing completely different stuff and defying all my expectations. the mood of this song is so unique and the slow rhythm with his just…absolutely gorgeous emotive voice makes it so refreshing. Also!! something i found really cool is jungkook doing stuff that’s more complex in emotion and a bit sadder/darker? he’s always had the happy golden perfect boyTM vibe and that’s cute af but also this song lets him be a bit confusing and mature and lost for once. This song hit me quite personally too because the lyrics about time and distance hit close to home as i have friends and loved ones moving out of my life and i just wanna feel not so stuck. I can’t WAIT to see what kind of staging he’ll do for this?? it could be anything lol, i really can’t guess.

louder than bombs - legit EVERYTHING i wanted from a troye/bts collaboration project oh my god. The music and build-up for this song is so bittersweet and haunting, the VOCALS oh my god?? truly stole my breath, wow. the rap line verses had some seriously hard-hitting lyrics too, the lower ranges of namjoon and yoongi made my heart STOP. (something i’ve always loved with bts is the way they play with flow through members taking different parts, which sounds so obvious lol, it’s what you do with a group, but i always love the way bts uses their members’ tones/styles to create a great mix in a song). I feel like this song truly sets up the recurring theme of acknowledging and embracing the good and bad, the wholeness of it is really vulnerable and - pun intended - explosive! it reminds me of the ‘sing louder to drown out the pain’ kind of mindset. sometimes you just gotta sing louder and sadder and ache.

ON - i actually don’t have much to say on this one because it’s just SO BTS and perfect for a title track and will absolutely GO OFF live. also the choreo is hard as hell lmao GOOD LUCK PEOPLE TRYING TO LEARN IT. also i’m gonna say it alongside everyone else but…JUNGKOOK’S HOLY BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! - *aroused and scared.* this beat!!!! slaps!!! rapline songs can never fail tbh, also….i think i already love this more than outro: tear and we haven’t even had a performance lol. I don’t have any coherent thoughts to add other than HOLYYY SHIIIIT. This will be so fierce live??? i’m gonna get whiplash headbanging probably. also…can they PLEASE do choreo for that last bit??? please. please.

zero o’clock - lol some songs just make you ugly sob and then you read the lyrics and ABSOLUTELY SOB. this little asshole right here came for my entire heart. it’s pretty spot on for how i feel right now: just get through the day and wait for the next and try and be a bit happier. the bittersweet, hopeful tone is so lovely and really touching. it’s heartbreaking ngl, but in a healing, therapeutic way. it’s so soft and mellow without being too air-y which is pretty hard to get right tbh.

inner child - my favourite vocal line solo!!! i’m always so in love with taehyung’s solo songs tbh, his voice and songs are always my cup of tea, thank you for being a true hopeless romantic sir. this song is SO end-of-indie-movie and i’m completely hooked on it already, i walk to work and keep looping it and it makes me smile and tear up just thinking about hearing it live already. I love how it’s a love letter to his younger self, comforting, sad and so full of heart and acceptance. We all find it hard to look back but to have a song that says it’s okay to be proud of every version of yourself and your growth is AMAZING. i haven’t stopped thinking of the ‘we gonna change’ and i’ll give you my world’ lines. truly magical.

friends - shut up this is the SWEETEST SONG EVER. so my best friend is finally moving away from the hometown we’ve shared for 11 years and i am very vulnerable about it right now, so this coming out when it did?? a bit of an attack lol. but it really made me smile and be SO GRATEFUL to her, and to everyone else in my life and the bonds i have around me. jimin and tae’s friendship is the sweetest thing and to have them release a platonic love song??? to sing on tour together?? after growing up and becoming legends together? wow. talk about bff goals. the adorable details in the lyrics make it so personal and genuine, and the crowd-chanting bits in the chorus are gonna sound awesome live. also not to get sappy and cheesy but this also makes me think of all the friends people have made in this fandom and community and how we’re all enjoying this awesome thing together? love that, man.

moon - THAT’S THE LOML, KIM SEOKJIN, SLAYING AGAIN. awake and epiphany were both so epic and emotional in the traditional ballad genre, so hearing this was just?? SO COOL. it’s so happy and sweet and shows off his high range effortlessly. this has such an addictive melody, i kept humming it at work today and driving myself nuts lmao. it makes me think of summer days and hanging out with friends or on your own in the sun, reading. i also love how he expanded on ‘beauty’ as it’s always a word thrown at him lol, but he made it so innocent and lovely, like idk if he’s fed up of everyone yelling handsome at him and embarrassing him lmao but it was so wholesome of him to then turn around and make a song about appreciating subtle beauty and the bonds between army and bts (god i’m LAME, blame this album).

respect - this song’s such a VIBE. love the founders of bts doing a song together, god, just bros being bros and jamming together?? WE LOVE TO SEE IT. I didn’t realise how much i’d love this duo together but it’s so natural and you can see how much they love writing and working together. the lyrics are so fun and snarky and the throwback old-school bts vibe is PERFECT. it’s that clever thing they do of re-visiting older works and combining it with your present self to make something familiar yet different. so so cool.

we are bulletproof: eternal - omg so the first line of this i started laughing so hard because i was SO SURE it would be a Concert Jam™. then i sobered up pretty quickly and cue the tears and emotions lmao. This song gives me heartbeat/sea/mikrokosmos energy, it falls in that ‘epic emotional singalong’ genre they do beautifully. you bet your ass i’m gonna be bawling at this on the tour. i lost it crying in that last bridge when they say ‘why are you still walking with us’, it just hit me that wow, i’ve been a part of this journey and tbh, it’s gonna stay with me for life. the emotions packed into this song are overwhelming af whilst still being a celebration of the 7 years bts have been together, and the individual achievements too, of them and also armys? idk it feels very collective ‘us’ vibe and it’s beautiful. 

outro: ego - READY, SET AND BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAP OF THE SOUL MAP OF THE AAAAAAAAAAAL THAT’S MY EGOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, this song just slays everything tbh. When it came out i could not stop repeating it for the entire week and i’m still so in love with it. By far one of my favourite solos of the album! it’s so colourful, clever and A DANCE BOP. It’s everything about why i bias jhope and his style is freaking awesome. 

okay wow, all done!!!!!

[dorotheado]

since noone reads my blog, im gonna post my predictions for lover based on the titles!

i forgot that you existed - i forgot how love feels, the flip side of begin again

cruel summer - maybe summer 2016, the tension between feeling awful and meeting joe? maybe the summer of last year when she was standing up for TimesUp? Unsure.

Lover - i mean. i love this song

The man - we know, but im feeling a bit of vulnerability in this one too

the archer - we know

i think he knows - continuation of gorgeous. oops, have i been too obvious?

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - STORY SONG!!!!! miss americana livin it up like in the lucky one but the story is darker and the prince stole her heart or SOME SHIT idk something very fairytale and boppy and im imagining the chorus to be something similar to “and she fell in lo-O-o-O-ove” or something simple that’s just one line that means something different each time she says it but has a fun beat

paper rings - a sad song, i think. maybe nostalgic and reflective of childhood and maybe something about how breakable and fragile we all are

cornelia street - soft, maybe just a guitar, something reflective and content and peaceful. honestly all i can think is bleecker street by simon and garfunkel

death by a thousand cuts - is this the one y’all all sobbed abt? maybe it’s about andrea? idk im not prepared for a sobby one

london boy - american boy by estelle vibes. i stan track 11 in general so i hope this one brings me joy. imagining something boppy. maybe a spoken word bit where she speaks in a dumb british accent. please.

soon you’ll get better - tbh i haven’t listened to the dixie chicks, but im imagining something with similar vibes to brown eyes by destiny’s child. like very choir-y and comforting and trying to heal someone who is broken with words of love

false god - maybe about fame? maybe about breaking down these ideas that u thought u had and realising they were destructive? hopefully about trump as a subtle dig at him

you need to calm down - we know

afterglow - hopefully a sexy song. i want to hear about how good it feels after sex. lmao but most likely it’s the afterglow of being w someone u love, or mazybe this is the long live 2.0??? and it’s the afterglow of being on stage???? 

me! - we know

it’s nice to have a friend - maybe THIS is long live 2.0. will i cry if this exists? maybe so. otherwise it might be just an expression of gratitude to the peolpe who stayed by her side

dayllight - first of all, i love that this song ends the album, the title is perfect for the end of lover i think. i think it’s about letting go of the things that hurt and hold you back. just sitting in the daylight and letting it go

[anamsaorreads]

2017 So Far - Part Four: The Two Stephens (Non-Fiction)

Part One: Vaguely Similar Themes | Part Two: Irish Authors & Virginia Woolf | Part Three: Narnia, Detectives & Shorts

Hey there! Welcome to the final installment of my 2017 mid-year wrap up.

I seriously need to up my non-fiction game for the rest of the year. I've only read two non-fiction books since january, but man, they were good!

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking is an accessible, but still mind-boggling and intelligent (duh!) overview of the most important discoveries made in the last century, or so, in the fields of physics (the normal kind and the mental quantum kind) and cosmology: "from the big bang to black holes," time travel and worm holes, to elementary particles and the laws of physics, and so much more!

While many of the ideas are difficult for me personally to conceptualise - for instance, that "it is possible for both space and time to be finite without any edges or boundaries" (I could barely tell the difference between 1,000 and 10,000 people congregated together, let alone how something can be finite and boundary-less on a universe-sized scale) - Hawking's style is conversational (well as conversational as a book about origins and future of the universe can be), fluid, and humorous. The information is presented in a clear and logical way (with helpful diagrams) making the information contained within the pages far more understandable.

When I was flipping back through it, trying to remind myself what the actual feck was going on, I realised I hadn't actually finished reading all of the Appendix, where Hawking provides updates on the more recent goings on of physics and cosmology... Oops. It was actually quite helpful, as the 2016 updates refer back to relevant pages in the main text (the other post-1988 updates have been incorporated in the main body).

I'd like to think of myself as fairly scientifically-minded (I mean, pop-science, not real science obviously), but I was blown away by this book. Not having read many other science books, I still think it should be required reading for anyone with a passing interest in, like, anything to do with the universe, whether you failed high school science, or already have a degree in Physics. It's a book I'm definitely going to read again, in the hopes of gaining even more of an understanding, and being able to engage more competently with the new discoveries that are still come!

Part memoir, part writing manual, On Writing by Stephen King is a fascinating insight into the man and the process behind some of the world's most recognisable titles. He recounts his life story, from working on his brother's home-printed newspaper as a young lad, to his near-death experience that occurred while writing this book.

I really like that King provides a fairly in-depth account of his personal life. It serves to show how he has been shaped as writer, how he has used menial jobs to his advantage by allowing his imagination to run wild while monotonously "bag[ging] loose fabric for eight hours" a day, embraced the support of his wife and family, and overcome various struggles in order to seemingly continuously produce best-selling fiction.  

While the memoir thread continues throughout the book, the latter half focuses more directly on the practicalities of writing. He advises writers to always have a book on hand because "reading is the creative center of a writer's life," to "write a lot" (whatever that means to you), and to be truthful in your storytelling. He breaks down the elements of fiction-writing (plot, description, dialogue, character, etc.) using examples from his own and other's works, edited and unedited, and he details revising, researching and various aspects of the publishing process.

On Writing is also useful for non-writers. As a (very incompetent and unhelpful) reader for a friend I found King's insights helpful for understanding their motivations, processes, and what kind of feedback they most likely want from me (I mean, it didn't really help for the last piece I read, I just kind of loved it straight away, but I'm sure it will help more in the future).

I would highly recommend to any aspiring writers or editors who haven't already read this to have a pencil and notepad handy. I know I'll be taking notes the next time.

I've not read anything else by Stephen King yet (scary things scare me), but after reading this I definitely want to. Where should I start?

 Are there any other accessible science-focused books you would recommend?

What non-fiction works have you read this year?

P.S. I'm terrible at internet-ing but feel free to talk to me - notes, asks, whatever. Hopefully I'll get more interactive myself soon...

[phill-vidler]

This, Too, Shall Pass

You know that album I mentioned I was writing while I was supposed to be doing work a couple months ago?

I’ve finished writing it.

Oops.

It’s called This, Too, Shall Pass (don’t question me on the grammar, it’s correct). This is just gonna be one of those blogs where I go through each song and talk about what each of them is about. Gonna give you some fair warning - it’s pretty heavy.

Phosphenes

I don’t really remember writing this song - good start, eh? What I mean is that it’s one of those songs that started with a single line that I wrote in my phone, “I’ve been talking to myself lately”, and then the song snowballed from there. It’s somewhat about what’s happened in the last 8 months for me, and about how generally I’ve been multiple versions of myself for a long time now. There’s some classic Phill Vidler wordplay™ in the chorus - “This is not the former me, this is just a form of me”. It’s setting-off point for the album, in tone and lyrical content.

Lyric of choice: “I tied my noose and, of survival, I am proof.”

The Room

You know when you abstractly think about something and make it a really weird metaphor? Robyn’s bedroom was getting redecorated for a while, and during a conversation with her about looking forward to things, I mentioned her impending new room, saying “soon; the room”. I liked the idea of my journey back to feeling alright again being akin to the redecoration of a room - the old version is still underneath somewhere in the memory, but for the moment, everything is new and exciting. I like doing this with my albums, at least since The Benefits of Devolution, where the first full track sets up a lot of the themes of the album, and then the second full track details a journey, or at least  the intent of progression.

Lyric of choice: “I wrapped myself in you; I lined my walls with what I know to be true.”

Lions

Here’s one of the earlier-written tracks on the album, a song about bad things creeping up on everyone and trying to find the lessons that are always said to be hidden in them, and the general futility of trying to solve problems that may very well solve themselves eventually.

Lyric of choice: “Be like the birds, take wing and take aim.”

The Low

This is probably going to be one of the “big singles” of the album - if there’s gonna be anything like that for this release. It’s about loneliness and feeling the need to express myself through music and being unable to. I had to hit a real low in order to find my music again, so I wrote a song about the journey to the metaphysical “low” and how cathartic it can feel - or how it can make you feel even worse than before. Swings and roundabouts. Got a killer double chorus at the end though.

Lyric of choice: “Why, when I’m standing still, do my colours still run? Shades of me are bleached from summer’s sun.”

This, Too, Shall Pass

The title track of the album was, in fact, the last to be written. I knew the album title before I wrote the song, but I knew I wanted to have a track that either was called the same thing, or at least featured it as a lyric somewhere. Something to bring a thematic link to the whole thing. It’s also the first song in about 4 years that I’ve written for piano by sitting in front of one and pissing about for a few hours. I showed it to one of my best friends; she said it sounded like a ballad from a musical. Given that the last songs I wrote on piano were for a musical that I’ve since canned, I take that as a massive compliment. It’s got nice strings in it too. And also a middle 8 that I ripped from an unreleased song from about 2012. Ssh.

Lyric of choice: “My stirrups and my saddle are looser than before; I hide behind my walls but I can barely tell the ceiling from the floor.”

A Form of Me

Always gotta have an intermission, haven’t I? This one is a piano instrumental that incorporates melodies that span around 4 other songs on the album, from before and after it, blending them together to create one piece of music. It’d be a nice place for a record to be turned over at the end of side A, and it hints at melodies that are as-yet-unheard. The title is a reference to the aforementioned chorus lyric in Phosphenes.

Twine

This is another one that could very well be a single if the situation called for it. Chordally and melodically, the track is a reference to a song called Know You, from my very first album. That song was about an ex that I felt I didn’t know anymore after we broke up, whereas this song turns that into a more introspective look at whether I know myself anymore. There’s also a reference to Heliotropic, and it having been “a while since [I] turned to face the sun”. If that’s not pretentious then I don’t know what is.

Lyric of choice: “I’m losing track of all the stems of me.”

Strewn

Another song about duality - there’s almost a running theme here. The overall message is that Robyn is, and has been, an absolute rock for me this past year, though sometimes even she hasn’t been able to distract me from all the brain stuff. It’s quite pleasant to listen to though, so it serves as one of the lighter points on a pretty dark collection of tracks.

Lyric of choice: “I’m always trying to balance midnight and noon.”

Dust

And so we reach the very first song written for this album, back in the gloomy recesses of August 2015, coming off a high of some people caring about my album Heliotropic, and realising how lonely I really felt. The issue was, I didn’t think I had much to offer anyone else, from friendships to relationships and everything else. There’s a passing reference to Lisa, as the proverbial “next girl”, who was in fact under my nose the whole time. Luckily, she’s stuck around to be the subject of the final track.

Lyric of choice: “It’s only when I’m surrounded that I remember how lonely I am.”

Moon

The closer is about Robyn. She has a tattoo on her wrist of a crescent moon, and it’s grown to be something of a symbol for me, as the antithesis of the “sun” of the Heliotropic era, which had a bit of a foreboding edge to it, with the “moon” of this era being a guiding light whenever it’s mentioned. Though the lyrics don’t sound very positive on the surface, there’s a clarity that Robyn has helped me find in the last year and a half, and this song is a testament to that.

Lyric of choice: “Incremental trust is not a sign that I’ve grown.”

So there it is, the first decent insight into this upcoming album. Still don’t know when it’s coming out - if I give myself a release date, then it’ll just turn out shit.

WE DON’T WANT THAT DO WE?

Thanks for reading if you have, and if you always read these, just know that you’re wicked <3

Phill x

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Morose Mononokean 3 – 13 (FINAL) | Nanbaka 19 | ACCA 5...and anime from 2016, ranked.

(Morose Mononokean ep 3)

LOL, the kaomoji scroll.

Hopefully your handwriting won’t be illegible, Fusshi.

The Japanese place a lot of emphasis on independence, hence th errand running comment.

It’s so threatening to get pointed at with a stick.

I didn’t quite get the “five years again?” joke, but the jokes were going pretty rapid fire there. I might’ve just missed one and that’s OK. *shrugs*

Technically Ashiya lied when he said “you don’t have to believe me” because she believed him in the end…kinda sorta…?

Oh, to grandstand means to be showy. I don’t think I solidified that into my brain until just then.

Are those weeds or onions?

…Oops, not onions at all. Close enough (since they’re blub plants), though.

Where’s your dad, Ashiya?

Zenko’s not crying, you’re crying, I’m crying. Everyone’s crying!

…Oh, that’s the punchline of the joke…but Abeno’s scary when he’s really angry.

(ep 4)

I think even lil’ Fuzzy nods in the OP near the end.

The d and b thumbs are very inventive in regards to kaomoji. I like inventiveness.

Exhibit A of how Comic Sans ruins a mood, CR subbers.

So that’s Abeno’s writing (and not Comic Sans)?

Ashiya and Abeno have really creepy eyes on the eyecatch.

Shizuku means “water droplet” IIRC.

Ashiya, Super Sentai!...or something like that.

The Fuzzy Ashiya knows has 3 tails. This one only has one.

Ashiya, getting coerced into deals he can’t handle. *sigh*

(ep 5)

Fuzzy’s basically a Pokémon now.

What happened to Abeno’s jar?

Where I am, there’s three arms to the government: the legislative arm, the judicial arm and the executive arm. This show must run off a lot of the same principles.

Fuzzy seems vaguely unimpressed when Ashiya learns he doesn’t have to die.

How is that communicating with a fuzzball? Sad life for Abeno-san.

The sad thing about Abeno is that he’s very grumpy. While that does make him basically a male tsundere, his grumpiness isn’t something everyone can live with. Rippou (Legislator) included.

(ep 6)

The Ring? Like a horror movie? (This is the last of the Mononokean episodes I’ve seen before, so it’s not a horror movie, but I had to make the joke while I was at it.)

Fuzzy looks like an offering to the ancestors there on that cushion.

The Mononokean went “If you’d followed my instructions [yada yada yada] but…” Note the “but” – that wasn’t in the translation.

Where does Abeno sleep?

Fuzzy wrapped up is like a fuzzy sushi roll. I wouldn’t like to eat a fuzzy sushi roll, though.

Edo = old Tokyo…so are all Edoites (or whatever you call them) meant to be non-honorific users?

Manjiro must’ve been easy to draw if this were in the source material. However, since this is obviously a CGI Manjiro, it must’ve been easier to animate than, say, Fuzzy. (Apparently fur is hard to get right in CGI.)

“15 whole minutes”…hardly anything impressive…LOL.

Ashiya will never give you up, he’ll never let you down, he’ll never run around and desert you…

Even Fuzzy’s sweating up a storm just thinking about how to return the ring.

Ow. Getting headbutted by an eel is not the way to go.

The salve on Fuzzy looked like a box for a frame or two.

The irony of an eel shop with an eel youkai…

(ep 7)

It’s fresh impressions from here on out.

Butterflies don’t fly like that…

Since middle school is years 7 – 9…okay…Ashiya is that childish? *laughs awkwardly*

I just realised this show doesn’t do flashbacks very well.

I saw a grave in the back that said “Abe Family Grave”. It’s not the kanji for Abeno, though.

Don’t be so proud of your status as a hide and seek veteran, Ashiya.

“Yoko” is the word for a fox spirit. it’s why, in Tactics, the fox spirit is called Youko. Even I knew that much and Ashiya didn’t, LOL.

Oh right! Abeno calls Fuzzy “hairball”.

Abeno is 15?! I’m absolutely positively flipping out!...Abeno and Ashiya look like they’re 17!

(ep 8)

I thought something was up with the subs. Turns out “Haruitsuki” was spelt wrong.

Remember “–sama” is of more respect than “–san”.

I think Mr Chips from Eldlive was like this critter. Gets drunk on green tea.

Tsundere flying green youkai. That’s probably better than an annoying, possibly tsundere fairy (<- reference to One Wish They Never Wanted).

Benkei? I’ve never heard anyone yell “Benkei!” when they stubbed their toe. I get that it’s Standing Benkei though.

Aww. Even if it’s a youkai proposal, it’s so sweet…

(ep 9)

How do you spell “dispirited”? Two Ss? One?

Dangit, Ashiya would do well in job interviews…

The eyecatches always look unnecessarily dramatic, don’t they?

Does Abeno’s question about amateurs include Ashiya?

Abeno must’ve gotten a “Don’t come near my daughter again!” sort of thing a lot.

Fuzzy’s body went “boomph!” when he jumped on to Ashiya’s shoulder.

Fuzzy absolutely fails at rolling on balls, LOL.

(ep 10)

Why did I think of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” when it came to large!Yahiko?

The title of this episode is “deku”, like Boku no Hero Academia Deku.

Rakugan.

How did the eyecatch manage to put shojo sparkles on Nobou and turn him into something that’s vaguely appealing (in a handsome sense)? It must be the magic of the shojo sparkles…Also, henohenomoheji scarecrow.

“Phantasmagoria” aka “fantasy” or “illusion”.

Wow, basically this show is an ethics lesson…

Who knew a mutant scarecrow could cause such a heartfelt story? Also, please stop hitting yourself with a potato.

(ep 11)

I don’t think I’ve seen the character for “purple” being read as shi before.

Stop using Fuzzy as a shield for your words, Ashiya.

Fuzzy jumped on to Zenko’s head. It’s kinda funny to see Fuzzy acting like a Swablu.

Fuzzy with a leaf hat is aesthetically pleasing. It soothes the soul. (Uh, hey. Come to think of it, Mononokean’s a lot like the works I’ve done on Honeyfeed, eh? Light comedy and a lotta drama.)

I keep stumbling upon spoilers for shows I’m not caught up on, this show included. So I technically knew about Yahiko and never mentioned it, and I’m going “oh no” here because I know what will happen to Ashiya…

Tomori. That was the name from the spoilers…oh no!!!

Fuzzy looks particularly round in the eyecatch.

Apparently Ashiya began as a doodle in the margin of Kiri Wazawa’s sketchbook, but he became the protag of Morose Mononokean. That’s the ultimate upgrade in life for a character, eh?

Abeno’s logic…I get it, but I guess it was played for hilarity. Well, it worked. Really well.

A 9-11. I thought it was funny at first, but now it’s scary and solemn.

Simultaneous equations? I want nothing to do with them anymore.

Come to think of it, Aoi may have been a woman due to the woman’s cloak.

(ep 12)

Oh? A sister? I’ve haven’t seen her in the show yet. I wanna see her.

One of the lil’ pine cones is sleeping. It’s strangely adorable.

(ep 13)

Yahiko’s so spoilt by Zenko.

*squints at Ashiya’s book* Oh hey. I haven’t done this in years! Yeah, that sort of stuff is “first year of high school” stuff, but speaking from experience as an advanced maths student, I have a skewed perspective of what “normal maths” is for a year level. Add that to the fact Japan has the idea that they have to push their geniuses to the limit by being ahead of their years (sometimes going up to one year ahead of the “usual” standard) and…yeah.

From the lip reading, the word could’ve been tera (Buddhist temple) or jinja (Shinto shrine). Knowing how Zenko is built off the ideas of Buddhism anyway, it’s tera.

Well, out of sight, out of mind, as they say.

Abeno looks like such a bad boy in that eyecatch, it’s hilarious.

Seriously, how does Nobou talk with no mouth?!

I thought the hand was Yahiko. Turns out it was Abeno.

Fuzzy looks downright ill when Ashiya’s scared.

A boss normally doesn’t bow his head to his subordinates, let alone call them “lord” (dono), which is the highest type of honorific one can give to a person.

See, the kaomoji scroll really is fun. If someone could make one for me, I’d love to play with it for a little bit. Maybe you could make a (computer?) program that could function mostly the same way…huh. That’s a good idea, actually.

Notice the Mononokean uses “watashi”. I guess it doesn’t have much of a gender anyway.

Nice hat, Ashiya. (LOL.)

Welp, that’s the final episode of all my 2016 anime. I moved the top 10 anime of 2016 to the bottom of this post for the surprise factor, but knowing my reactions to the anime means you can’t be too surprised by the results.

(Nanbaka 19)

Honey’s still on arrow mode.

The scream. It’s like a horror movie, but so funny because it overlays the OP.

The sparkles actually helped viewers see something for once.

Rokuriki. So that’s the guard’s name. It has “six” in it.

Deer hook swords. I’m not quite familiar with them but they look cool.

I only just realised, but they left Nico behind in the supervisor’s office.

The rubble is so beautifully rendered.

What was Jyugo doing behind the pots? Something for humour, I suppose, because I laughed.

“Hachiman” can mean 80000.

Kawaisouni… translates to “unfortunate” or “how unfortunate” but I probably wouldn’t peg it as “poor baby!” like the subbers did. It’s probably the tone Uno used that caused them to sub it the way they did.

Here we go again with this Jyugo comeback from episode 1…

It’s around the part where Upa’s trash talking Hachiman that you can identify Upa’s VA is Yuu Kobayashi (SGRS’s Konatsu’s VA). Even Nico is voiced by a dude and yet Upa is not.

(ACCA 5)

Seriously, this blue haired guy (Magie) reminds me of Japan from Hetalia. Must be the haircut.

How does a guy not remember toast? Probably because this is of Japanese origin, where rice and fish are more common than bread.

I still think his name should be Gene Otus.

CGI fits flawlessly into this style, and if you’ve been around these parts long enough, you know I don’t like obvious CGI.

Dowa Travel.

Hotel Akevitt. They have some weird names in this show.

Reindeer…? I’m not very good at identifying deer vs reindeer.

I heard you like wheat bread, so I put some wheat bread in ACCA to keep you happy, Jean. (insert more memes about wheat bread here)

Lotta really likes walnuts, eh?

Crow/Nino’s a free agent hired by Grossular, right?

Ah. I get it. Lotta’ll keep an eye on Nino for Jean.

Isn’t a sandpiper a bird?

Oh. So that’s why Grossular has such long hair.

Lilium’s bro? Gotta remember him for later.

Grossular’s an older Kyosuke Kuga, LOL.

 Anime of 2016, Ranked

Since I have 17 entries this year and it took a lot of shuffling to get right, I’ve decided to show my entire 2016 rankings. Only shows I saw in their entirety at least once over in 2016 (with the exceptions of D Gray Man Hallow and Morose Mononokean, which are applicable through the simulcast commentary process but were only watched to episode 6 before 2016′s end, and fall anime, which due to being AFK at 2016′s end were unfinshable until 2017), and had at least one new seasonal entry in 2016, apply:

17. Prince of Stride Alternative

16. Mr Osomatsu s2

15. D Gray Man Hallow

14. Kiznaiver

13. Morose Mononokean

12. Nanbaka s1: can’t talk about this yet because its s2’s not finished!

11. Classicaloid s1: can’t talk about this yet because it′s not finished!

10. Flip Flappers: The art style and fight scenes really make this a show worth watching. However, it did get somewhat confusing at the end so that’s where most of the drop in the rankings comes from.

9. ReLIFE: While the themes were pertinent and the art style on point, it was a bit plain and there wasn’t much of an explanation as to why the pills work (even if that isn’t Yoake or An’s role). I guess I’m still used to it living in the shadow of Detective Conan, after all.

8. Boueibu s2: This was a step up from s1, but unfortunately there were prime contenders this year that knocked it out of higher places. Also the fact that it does seem more rushed than s1 due to the time constraints does give it a bit of a toll.

7. Bungou Stray Dogs (overall): 2 seasons makes this show stand out as a strong one, especially near the end when it really hits its stride. The fact light novel stories took up up to 4 episodes did make me worried, but the fans definitely have more than enough material to work with as a result, right?

6. Yuri on Ice: I don’t mind the off model in this one if it means the good stuff can come with it, but the fandom is quite intimidating and it was a “show of the year” in ways some people now consider to be a negative thing, so it did suffer a bit from that. I give it merit for the things it does well, but it’s not the saviour of anime the talk of the town can make it out to be.

5. Boku Dake ga Inai Machi: Stunning visuals, a Sayuri ED and good thrills with well executed cliffhangers. My only gripe with this one was the very end, but you’ll have to see the relevant posts for why that is.

4. Boku no Hero Academia s1: Even if it is repetitive, it rises above (Plus Ultra!) to become something more than just a fusion of East and West like I always try to strive for. It’s an emblem and it’s definitely something Horikoshi should be proud of after what happened to Barrage and Oumagadoki Zoo.

3. Sakamoto Desu Ga: This show also managed to go above its repetitive trappings with inventiveness and humour. The fact it’s also touching at exactly the right points shows you why Takamatsu is one of my favourite directors.

2. ConRevo s2: Colourful and politically striking as always, ConRevo was one of the shows I always looked forward to watching, even if it meant staying up past midnight to document things on the wiki. Even if I’m not that fond of the Urobuchi episode, this show managed to reach awesome highs without losing the fans it got from s1.

1. SGRS: With a soundtrack that brings you to the past, humour that can make you laugh no matter how many times you watch it and visuals to wow even the most serious of artists, you can tell SGRS is a labour of love in every aspect. Its second season has already surpassed its predecessor in only 4 or 5 episodes, so...only time will tell whether anything can challenge SGRS for the throne.

 Total:

winter 4

spring 5 (incl. Bungou Stray Dogs s1)

summer 4

fall 5 (incl. Bungou Stray Dogs s2)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Offenderman x Reader || Oneshot

Title: When You Start Living Your Life- That’s Where You’ll Find The One Who’s Meant For You

Notes: 

This is like a baby Offender x Reader since its been a while I’ve written anything for him and I’m slowly dipping myself back, haha. Possibly a Part 2 in the works, with more of the man himself. 

Kinda based off ‘You Can Do Better Than Him’ from Bonnie and Clyde

Plot: A run-in with your ex-husband (Jeff The Killer’s son, for no apparent reason except so that he knows about Offender) causes a revalation between you and your lover. 

Warnings: Some talk about sex, but its not explicit. Also, divorce. 

~~~

I see him before he sees me, and I try to make an escape. Started gathering up my things and putting them away in my bag for departure, but... goddamn it, he sees me. “Y/N! Didn’t see you there! Man- its good to see you. Its been a bit, hasn’t it?” Nick puts his hands nervously in his pants pockets, ducking his head like the cute, awkward duckling that he is.

I plaster a smile onto my face, looking up at him from the grass. Jesus Christ, this is a ridiculous position. He’s like 7000 feet tall, my neck is going to start hurting any minute now. “Hi, Nick. Yeah, it has been a while! I haven’t seen you around since, a-ah… “I seal my lips firmly together, trying to be content in just avoiding eye contact with him instead of ending that sentence. Don’t say it. Don’t say it, don’t- “The divorce!”

“Aha,” He ducks glances up at me, and his smile is bright like it always has been, since we started dating. The smile I fell in love with, and used to make me feel on top of the world- capable. Like everything was going to be okay and I could accomplish any and all of my dreams.

Of course, one of those dreams was him… I think. That didn’t work out so great…

“Yeah. First meeting since the divorce, huh? Not so bad.”

That really does probe a grin from me. How does he say that while not making eye contact with m- Oh, oh, he is making eye contact! Oh, lord. This is hard. “Hah, no! Guess not… “After flashing another, little smile, I tuck in the last of my things to my satchel and close it. Then I struggle to my feet. God, how long have a been sitting there? I look back at the spot of ground that I had been lounging on, and see the grass still completely flat…  

Before I make it all the way up or fall -whichever happened first,- , Nick takes my right forearm in his hand and puts his other on my waist, helping me up the rest of the way… which puts me at an uncomfortably close distance to him. Laughing nervously, I step back and occupy myself by patting dirt and grass off the back of my pants. “Um- how have you been? Uh,” I must have some information about him… didn’t Fran tell me something a month ago at our spa weekend? … Ah! “Fran said you got promoted at work?”

“Yeah!” Nick gets an excited glitter to him as he starts to talk about that, animating immediately and putting his hands on his hips- a huge beam stretches across his gentle, handsome features. Of course, the sun makes fluffy blonde hair look radiant like a fabric softener commercial. Reminds me of why I loved him.

I was determined not to fall in with a bad boy and get my heartbroken like all the girls on TV.

Turns out, it hurts just as much when you lose a good boy.

Its been a long time though, now. Half a year- and another half a year since we split up in the first place to get the divorce that became official 6 months ago. So, as he talks, I find a genuine smile come to my lips. I am, truly, glad that he’s doing well.

Of course, he never did anything, to me. The divorce was my fault.

When he’s finished talking about his job at the Oil and Gas company -Yeah, he’s a manager there. An awesome job, for the perfect guy. He was quite a catch before I ruined it, -, he asks me how I’d been… and if I’m still with… him. Nick’s pale blue eyes go dark, an obvious hatred deepens the creases in his face.

I wish he wouldn’t bring that up. We were having such a nice moment!

“Uh,” I seem to be doing a lot of ‘Uhhhh’s and ‘Ummm’s, here. Stop it, Y/N. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?” He smirks, and I go pink in embarrassment.

“Well, uh- Well. I’m focusing on my own shit.” I strain the words ‘my own’. Truthfully, I wouldn’t know how to describe my relationship with… the ‘him’, that Nick refers to. Offender. And the thing is, I don’t really want to. I like the way things are. I don’t need a boyfriend, tying me down to one place, one job, one life. In fact, that was a huge problem with me and Nick. He was my first boyfriend and became my husband.

I was Y/N Woods for 3 whole years, and they were some of the most miserable of my life- and the thing is, I’m only starting to realise that, now. I didn’t know how profoundly unhappy I was during that time, when I was living it. But I know now, because when I’m with Offender I feel something dark, but good, that I never allowed myself to experimented with before, and when I’m not with him I can do whatever the hell I want. I have love, and sex, and freedom. That’s priceless.

“Right. You still think… “Nick, to his credit, does look regretful for what’s about to come out of his mouth and how. “You really think, that Offenderman, can actually care about you?”

I shrug. I have no reservations for saying what I do next. I have it lined up and ready. “I dunno, Nick. But I’m happy.”

Its that simple.

“Y/N, he’s awful.”

“I-I know… “In this moment though, all I can remember is him telling me that I own the earth I step on, and how he kisses me.

“You deserve someone better.”

My mind’s fuzzy with pictures of nights at my apartment, now. Me wearing a shirt that’s too big for me and not being self-conscious of my legs - the complete opposite, actually, - and him raiding my kitchen. Somehow his kiss still always tastes good, though. No matter what he eats. Bates Motel plays on the TV.

If a scene comes on the TV that looks good, its not out of the ordinary to replicate it- because we just can. Whether that be a recipe, trip, or something to do with sex. I hadn’t even realised you could just do things like that, before he showed me. Now it seems simple, of course…

And god fucking damn it. The sex, in the first place is better. And I’m fiucking allowed to acknowledge that. I like sex. There is nothing wrong with that. With Nick, it was planned. It was orderly, and status quo. Now sexual tension’s back in style for me, for the first time since Nick and I had our first time together and I am not giving that up.

Better than that, Nick??

“I tried that.” I snap, spine breaking finally. Is he really going to do this? Bring all this back? Glancing momentarily to set a stony look on his eyes, I pull my back up from the floor and place the strap heavily on my shoulder. He presses his lisp firmly together. “Didn’t turn out so good.”

“W- well, that was before. I’m different now, we would be happy.” My throat goes dry at Nicks words. Isn’t he over me yet? Over this? All we do is go around and around in circles. I need something else, and so does he. Why doesn’t he see that? Goddamnit… “I get that you needed- “I flash him a stern look. “Need. You need your space. I understand now, I like it to. But you’re going to have to settle down with someone eventually- and you know it should be me.”

“Nick… no.”

“No, I have to- “

“Nick!”

“You want kids, I know you do. I know you. I’ve known you since we were six. You’ve always been sweet, and bright, and gentle. I remember you drawing picture, after picture, after picture of that big blue house with a picket fence and remember the talks we had when we were older about the kids we would have. You think he’ll give you these things??” Nicks facial expression right now, is that of a desperate man. He gathers my hands into his and holds them close to his body. “He won’t.”

“I know that.” I tear my hands out from between his and speak slowly, so he gets it. “And I’m not that little girl anymore, Nick!”

Jesus Christ, this has gone south fast. I need to go.

Adjusting the bag strap over my shoulder, I make like I’m going to leave but Nick speaks up again before I can step off. “It’s a phase! -“

“Nick, goddamnit! I’m 29 years old! Get the fuck away from me with this phase, shit. I’m a grown woman. Now… “I glare at him, stepping by him. “It was nice seeing you. Bye.”

Walking off, I put my hands on my face and take a deep breath of the parks fresh air. I can still feel his gaze on me, and it doesn’t feel good.

But standing up to him, did.

Freedom.

Stopping by the bathrooms before my car, I fix my hair and look in the mirror. I can’t come back to this park, now! I’m going to need to find a new hang out spot… Pouting, I fix the strap once again over my shoulder and briefly think about whether Nick will be waiting outside - He knows what my car looks like! And the number plate, probably! – and worry, but then out of nowhere hands wrench me around and press me into the bathroom wall.

Its Offender, so I don’t panic except take a deeeeeep breath from being taken by surprise and look up at him sternly. Good god.

“Don’t underestimate me, Y/N.” 

Oop, he sounds… moderately to extremely less chill then usual.

“… huh?” I’m confused. What’s going on?

“The park. In the park. What happened in the park- What the smile child’s idiot son said.”

I could not be more lost right now… The absurdity of this situation - after just having a run-in with my ex-husband who I left for the uncomfortably intimidating man who’s cornered me into a wall in a public bathroom,- mixed with the lack of context he’s giving me causes the most sincere look of confusion I have possibly ever made. “Which… Which part?”

He speaks in a voice that is somehow spot on, a carbon copy of Nick’s and for a second I’m starstruck about that until I realise Offender was listening somewhere to what was going on between Nick and I- and now he’s pissed. “’You really think, that Offenderman, can actually care about you?’, ‘You think he’ll give you these things? He won’t.’. Y/N, don’t underestimate me.”

“So… what does that mean?”

A dangerous grin tears across his sharp, wicked mouth. “I care a lot about you, kid.”