#i just need to scream or I’ll cry | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

artnerd1123 · 10 months ago

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im so goddamn tired.

#fucking hate being barely able to make ends meet from check to check #fucking hate watching my loved ones struggle and gasp for air and being powerless to help them #fucking hate that im trying to convince myself to just suck it up and deal when all I want to do is sleep because I can’t miss work bc-#-I need my hours up #fucking. god #I’ll be fine. I’ve been fine. I’ve made it this far and have no intention of stopping anytime soon #i just need to scream or I’ll cry #might still cry lmao. whatever #it’s fine. im fine. i just need to keep moving so i dont fall and stay down. no walking or i wont be able to run this race nymore n all that #arty issues #delete later maybe

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butchharts · 2 months ago

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here’s my dick i guess oh god

#PLEASE BE NICE TO ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE #THIS IS MY FIRST DICK PIIICCC #IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWINGUGHJJ UPPHFNPP #i just need practice and maybe I’ll get better >///<#unless I think about it too long and delete this #lesbian nsft #butch nsft #t4t nsft

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tecnestheim962 · 6 months ago

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I miss Rosegarden.

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gojoest · 2 months ago

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looking for a second, hidden message behind official jjk twt posting so much gojo for the past few days, knowing it’s the final week and yes he’s coming back, that must be it

#— ai rambles #most likely just pr tbf but you know #i have to look past it and think he will come back #i need to believe it hard enough and maybe it’ll happen 🤞#also i’m so uneasy about those last few chapters #why’s everything looking so .. calm LOL #is gege going to troll us again . for the last time #holding my breath until the very end t-t #so nervous so so so i can’t wait for leaks in a few THE LAST LEAKS T^T #i’ll miss this sm T^T #hanging out on leaks day and screaming and crying with you all sobs

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whentherewerebicycles · 6 months ago

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I cannot survive this day lol

#it’s only noon and I need to go to bed immediately and start over #our one triumph today: at the dentist he had his first truly epic blowout - we’re talking poop all up his back inside his onesie #no changing table in the bathroom #and my mom had taken the car so no access to the more elaborate changing setup in the car #so I had to change him on the floor using the three remaining wipes in the pack #while he screamed like he was being tortured and kicked poop everywhere #but we did it we made it and then he chugged a bottle of milk like a soldier who’d just survived his first skirmish with the enemy #I have to take ruthie to the vet in a couple hours but she’s started acting fine today so I’m afraid I’ll be wasting a huge amount of money #meanwhile Pip has started vomiting everywhere #but I think he’s just stressed about baby/sudden change #naturally though I had to have a huge crying jag in the bathroom about the fact of his mortality #anyway friends I’m hanging in there #I need to just simplify simplify simplify #I will lie down for a bit now #then I will try to walk the dogs so it’s out of the way #need to leave by 2:30 to get Ruthie in #and I can listen to a hockey podcast and feel more human on the way #then once that’s done I can just do nothing tonight if I need to #my mom is leaving around 4 for the evening but #I’ve mixed the formula and cleaned all the bottles so I think I can just like #hopefully lie around with the baby #the other thing I need to do is write my mom a thank you letter before she leaves #I just haven’t had the energy but maybe I can ask her to take the baby for an hour tomorrow #and sit outside somewhere and work on it #postpartum tag #today has just been a higher difficulty level lol but I’ll have other kinds of days too #all will be well

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canibalistic-brownie · 4 months ago

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#I think I’m genuinely going crazy #not sure if it’s like a menstrual thing #or the sleeping 4 hours a night for several weeks in a row #but regardless I feel so Ass it’s gross #I went to sleep in my RV and woke up in my car #I don’t think I drove it but like???? idk #between that and the hallucinations I feel so absolutely fucking dead #I’m so tired and I’m doing my best to be what I need to be but it literally took me hearing g*nsh*ts and screaming that wasn’t happening #and then sobbing for my girlfriend to see I wasn’t doing well #and like now THREE different people have told me to smoke #which is crazy because last semester everyone was mad at me for being a stoner #and now one of the people that was mad about that is telling me to fucking do it anyways.#but I’ve been sober for two months and I’m so mad because how dare you shame me into quitting and then turn around and tell me to turn to #it when shit hits the fan???#like I was in this position when I was a stoner and you blamed me calling me an addict which #I WASNT #And now you’re like “you should turn to drugs!’’#like tell me how the fuck that makes any sense #I’m so tired #I’m so fucking tires #for the past like six mornings I’ve woken up and prayed #I’m not religious #but I keep praying for fucking anything to go right #I just need one happy moment #I’m genuinely so fucking sad and mad and tired #idk how to even properly express my emotions #I’m crying in a truck stop bathroom #that’s how I’ll sum it up #idk if you made it to the end sowwy my metaw heawth is the the shittew uwu #I don’t have anywhere else to put this so 🤷🏻‍♂️ it’s just me talking to the void

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lesbiansanemi · 11 months ago

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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 7 months ago

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Changes keep happening and I’m Upset About It

#no more classes only exams left #cat went back to roommate’s house for the summer and I’ll never get to live with him again #even more furniture is gone #this house slowly gets emptier and emptier #I don’t like this #I want to go home but my parents have ALSO moved #I don’t have anywhere familiar to live #as much as I would like to I cannot live in my new roommate’s house rn #but golly gee I just need something to stay the same #please #screaming crying throwing up #blue chatter

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simcardiac-arrested · 1 year ago

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Needed a warm up, remembered how I saw this little guy for the first time and literally screamed

She is so ever to me, I think she should cause so many problems on purpose

i just opened tumblr and saw this and i am being so serious when i say this made my organs turn to mush and make me pace around the house for a good 3 minutes just to start having coherent thoughts

#but don’t be fooled i do NOTTT have coherent thoughts anymore because HUH ?!?! HUH ?!?!?!?!? C ?!?!?!!?!?!#⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ THERES JUST NO WAY THIS IS IN MY INBOX RIGHT NOW IM HALLUCINATING THIS BECAUSE OF THE 31 C HEAT SURELY #OH MY GODDDD #screaming at a brick wall HHHEEEELLP HELP MEEEEE SOMEBODY HHHEEEELEPPPPP GHEEELLPPPP #WHAT ARE YOU DOIGN TO ME #oh my god they look so fucking good in your style i dont even know what to say. i dont know. i need to give you money #THE POSES???? THEY ALL LOOK SO AWESOME SHE’S SUUUUCH A LITTLE EVIL BEAST DOING STRETCHIES #oh good gracious (falls on the ground and explodes)#i’m in love with how you drew her human form as well i need to ruffle her hair. quickly #the warning sign on her eye ueeeueuehgghhhshhh #literally what are you doing to me. whag are you doing to me #cramswering #is for me tag #oc: cognitive dissonance #adding tags with tears in my eyes #do you u even understand what you’ve done I HAVE MUSIC CLASS IN 15 MINUTES I SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON THAT #BUT INSTEAD I’LL BE THINKING ABOUT HOW U DREW CD FOR THE WHOLE HOUR. DO U UNDERSTAND #aueueghhhgg THANK YOU SO MUCH MAN i’m so honored you would draw my ocs as warmup ueeue #soungof crying

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seventh-district · 9 months ago

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#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this #so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo #i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me #my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning #so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me #i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip #and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover #but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen #this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it #but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel #and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is #i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t #the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most #like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them #the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10 #and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again #he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head #but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch #because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate #i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight

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rhettabbotts · 1 year ago

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i love my job i love my job i love my job

#today was…. not the best #i had a minor panic attack #and nearly started crying #and i just feel so overwhelmed #and i feel like everyone is sick of me #i have another doctors appointment tomorrow and i’m scared #and i just want to be held and comforted #anywho i’ll be fine just needed to scream #shelbs runs her mouth

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yearning-butch · 9 months ago

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RARGH screamy day and it’s barely 9 am

#I fucking hate my arthritis #today is going to be so rough #literally days like today I start to wonder if I qualify for a disability parking plaque thing #because walking between classes is AWFUL #but then I remember how hard it is to get one and how my doctor probably won’t qualify me just because I’m young #and I feel lazy #but also genuinely want to cry because of the inflammation and pain rn #idk man maybe I need a cane #and I shouldn’t be embarrassed about that but ugh #god what does it say that I think more about how my mom would think it’s dumb/I don’t need it than anything else #please ignore I’ll be fine I just need to scream into the void sometimes

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yellowsubiesdance · 11 months ago

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my memory will destroy me one of these days

#fucking forgot the bag i was packing for shit i need for my first day of this class #god dammit #i want to scream #it’s bc i was busy packing up my meals #oh i also forgot to put any fucking utensils in my lunch bag #god i could cry #the timing coming off of this break couldn’t have been worse #maybe i’ll just go to the library and borrow a thick book #and i’ll just do the exercises on the floor lol #this is why i should’ve just left the yoga mat in my locker but i’m silly so i didn’t do that

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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months ago

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Btw I’ve never talked to an actual medical doctor about my mental health issues so I have no idea how to go about it. Lol

#never been to therapy never been medicated. i just freeball my reality and my emotions and my mind #i did go to grief counselling briefly but the guy who did that was a volunteer. i mean i assume he had a certificate in something and he #absolutely did help me but he couldn’t diagnose or prescribe #i want to be diagnosed and prescribed if at all possible but i don’t know how and i don’t know if they will. i don’t know how to approach it #i mean i guess i should first address the biggest problem i’m having right now which is my mood swings and suicidal thoughts #i am worried though. like will i get sectioned if i mention the latter #like i don’t think i’ll actually do it and i specifically want help because i DON’T want to do that. but is me reassuring them of that #going to be seen as a red flag. because…#i also really don’t want to spend the whole time sitting there crying unable to talk but i probably will because i can’t talk about my #personal problems because my whole life whenever i try my mom screams at me until i stop #especially if i’m calm or apologise to her in any way. it just seems to make her angrier #it’s just like. i’m ngl the thing that’s probably helped my mental state the most was being on microgynon but i didn’t enjoy the other side #effects; and also my blood pressure is too high for it. and like.. i don’t need to take a birth control pill when what’s wrong with me #is my mood. like who cares if it’s just because of hormones. treat it all the time anyway #idk. idk! i don’t know what happens when you talk to doctors about this kind of thing. i don’t even know how bad my symptoms are #for all i know i’m entirely mentally stable. OR i could have ten disorders. i don’t KNOW #personal

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flutteringfable · 1 year ago

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my parents: hey wanna come with us to visit some family friends?

me, with the crippling inability to say no and fear of sounding rude but also in no mental state or desiring to go out anywhere: yeah k

#fable talks 💫#i’m trying to get better abt it but i’m just AGH #currently crying about it because thats how my body responds to literally any extreme emotion #i was in my PAJAMAS dude. i was ready to have an evening to relax before i did the next social thing #this is mostly my own fault but that won’t stop me from complaining about it #sorry for the rant im just in a mood rn and needed to scream into the void abt it #i’ll be ok dw

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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago

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I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it

#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with #no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to #ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and #then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there #like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this #inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m #normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans #are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of #getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and #I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage #where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not #like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my #friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the #only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so #long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy #forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s #what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is #destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)

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