#i had a minor panic attack
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i love my job i love my job i love my job
#today was…. not the best#i had a minor panic attack#and nearly started crying#and i just feel so overwhelmed#and i feel like everyone is sick of me#i have another doctors appointment tomorrow and i’m scared#and i just want to be held and comforted#anywho i’ll be fine just needed to scream#shelbs runs her mouth
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Buck's head resting gently on Tommy's tummy while Tommy runs his fingers through Buck's hair send tweet
#bucktommy#911 abc#tevan#they're at the hospital after the plane minor crash landed#tommy has a broken leg or something#buck is still coming down from the panic attack he had after finding his man in the wreckage#yes i am evil
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when the shift was so bad you had to sit in your car in silence for a few min and then when you got home you had to sit on the edge of your bed for a few min and stare at the ground until you remembered you’re alive
#I love my job this is slash joke. I just had some very very minor frustrations that culminated into having a 2 hr long panic attack#(not actually obv bc. not what a panic attack is. but like. moderate grade anxiety for 2 hrs or so 😭)#lee speaks
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I am having the worst three days in a row I could possibly have right now and i just accidentally slept all day so now my sleep is going to be completely fucked yayyyyyy
#me :)#i had like 3 panic attacks last night haha hooray i love being in college#and then i had to emergency apply for a vet care credit card bc i didnt find out how much my cat's teeth cleaning would be and then it was#800 dollars !!!!!!!!!#which i cant ask my parents to pay right now. because they are paying for a new phone for me because mine decided to die last night yippie#and also my stupid fucking dead cousin's death anniversary is coming up i hate that guy so much#and im not going to do anything but ive had such an intense shot of stress all at once that my brain is defaulting back to if any minor#inconvenience happens we should just kill ourself so i keep thinking about throwing myself into traffic. and now i have to pay off a fuckin#800 hundred dollar bill while im trying to save up to be able to move out to my own place with my partner once my lease ends. so its going#pretty good all things considered#collapses in a pile on the floor screaming and crying and vomiting#also i missed my school's free food thing today and i have none of my credit cards right now because i lost them all last weeeeeek and i#cant afford to buy groceries right now! so i dont even get to have food i like#and i missed it because i was asleep all day because i couldnt fall asleep till late last night because i had to distract myself from#thinking about killing myself and then i had to get up at 8 am to take my cat to the vet. and i had to miss one of my three excused labs#this semester#so its awesome. its awesome
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This is mun again-
Ho boy, I feel so honkin’ awkward about this buuuttt lately I’ve been getting some asks about horror/creepy media and unfortunately, I’m a little uncomfortable with it. I do appreciate the asks and I will answer to all of them as best to my ability, but the thing is… as mun - I simply am too much of a fraidy-cat to be searching up certain media (as I also have paranoia-)
Though I really can’t handle horror and one of the asks I’ll have to simply skirt around in order to answer it; some creepypasta might be okay?
Just- yeah. I don’t know what I’m saying
#mun post#out of character#ooc post#ooc#🌟#character ask blog#not an ask#ic blog#trying to set some small boundaries#despite having had a minor creepypasta fixation i can’t handle horror#it sets off intense panic attacks and i’m highly susceptible and paranoid unfortunately#i’ve gotten some asks on lost media and whatnot and i just? don’t know if i can do it#apparently i still somehow enjoy analog horror and whatnot but my mind is weird
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may is really kicking my ass so far
#I was so stressed about final assignments#now I'm sick#it's about 3am and I'm awake bc I have a fever and I can't sleep#and I'm scared bc I'm not home so I can't just grab a popsicle and go watch a movie#and I think all my friends are asleep now#and I don't wanna call my mom bc it's 3am and its just a fever I don't wanna scare her#I feel so terrible#I had a minor panic attack earlier when I realized I had a fever#and I'm so congested I can't pop my ears#this is Bad
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welcome to cj/crispy's bi-yearly ptsd rant about fireworks, you are all safe and valid here and i am mentally giving out juice boxes and animal crackers
#last year wasnt too bad i barely remember nye tbh but OH BOY are the neighbors making up for it this year#they arent like super big or anything but they are LOUD and we're just rural enough that nobody gives a shit#like i cannot tell you how much i love the idea of fireworks and their history#but id also like to not have 12 consecutive minor panic attacks because the neighbors have some money to burn#it's worse around the 4th of july ’cause that also has the caveat of ''what tf are you even celebrating fuck you''#and im much more chill when it's like families celebrating with their kids because i remember how much fun mine had#but there are no kids around us#they're all adults and i want so badly to just be like ''yeah you do you man im glad youre having a good time'' but also like#they have to sell specialised jackets and blankets and medication for pets for nye and 4th of july#we dont have too many veterans in our part of town but i will never forget that pic of the vet hiding in the subway with his hands over#his ears#i dunno man i know not every activity can be accommodating to absolutely everyone#but i also think avoiding loud triggering (for a bunch of different reasons) noises is like#doable#there are quiet fireworks#thankfully my cat couldn't give two shits about loud noises but /I/ give two shits about loud noises#shut up cj#to delete
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didn’t realize “being against people bringing stuffed animals into a hospital” was a position people had jesus
#when I had emergency surgery the month after I turned eighteen I was so scared of#well a lot of things#but one of the more minor fears was going to an adult hospital for the first time#and for people who aren’t aware I bring a lil bear named poopsie around with me everywhere#he’s a big source of comfort for me#and I was so scared they were gonna judge or even worse not let me bring him in#but they were so supportive of that and they were so nice#for fucking.. emergency surgery they made it less scary#I’ve had some shit doctors so whenever I get some good ones it sticks out to me#I did have a panic attack when I woke up with my pants slightly off but um. we don’t have to get into that
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oh yeah i had no nightmares last night but i did wake up in the middle of a night and immediately worried that someone was in my room and when i went on a walk today i was way more paranoid then usual
#still pretty good#idk im just worried im gonna react to a book like i did with house of leaves again#like usually my delusions are incredibly minor compared to what ive heard a lot of other people have had#but that book fucked me up for like a week#legitimately had a panic attack because of it lmao
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Im sorry you're feeling tired and aren't having the best of days Skyy :(. Here's a little bed though to hopefully make your day even just a little better: 🛏️. I hope tomorrow goes smoother for you :).
Thank you. A little bed is all I need right now. In fact I have just gone to bed so this is perfect. :)
#ask#feelingkozy#I’m sorry for the tired posts I just. needed a way to cope I guess#thank you you guys (I hope saying that isn’t offensive-) are the best :)#I have work all day tomorrow so hopefully I can at least rest easy there#it’s been a week now of almost nonstop bad feelings and. I’m just. so SO tired#I had a minor panic attack a few minutes ago actually#a blanket was thrown across the room and an irn bru van was crushed both within my fist and under my foot#can*#and I also punched the sofa and made my knuckle bleed a little bit whoops#but up in my room on my bed I feel safer. calmer.#so thank you. a bed in this trying time means so much.m yo me#once again thank you bestie 💙
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just found out about the Betty Boop musical and I should be excited but instead I feel sick. this was supposed to be MY PROJECT
#IF ONLY I HAD STARTED EARLIER#sorry to be dramatic but i did literally have a minor panic attack but i got it under control#mia.txt
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Slayter bater, gooning goose and silly rabbits
#uhoh girlies ive been so angry lately#so just pissy and moody and its all because#well three things: men and ptsd and lonely as all hell#and i HATE sayin i have ptsd but at the end of the day when i man yells at me and i have a minor panic attack and LITERAL flashbacks#but shit i never had a MAN make it up to me and apologize like REALLY apologize and i dont need much just maybe like FLOWERS or just effort#and my last few exes man they're good guys but genuinely still got me so fucked up#sure everyone makes mistakes and im no baby and im FULLY down to take an apology but theres no effort no CARE#“oh i want you back i really care” words are cheap like you bastards#i just want ???? someone who wont say something that'll fuck me up for weeks#is that so hard ??#literally just PUT effort#ive got one goal in life and thats to find a LOVER and its so ??? hard ?? ill literally move country's if someone ASKED#i aint PICKY i just want to love and be loved#Spotify
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wow okay today was one of the most emotionally draining days i’ve gone through in recent history. and that’s saying something
#this show is making everyone angry constantly and sapping their energy and sympathy#i learned! that i experience trauma flashbacks! during a fucking run of the show!#had a flashback and silent panic attack and spent hours coming down from it#got to unwind with friends which was much needed#but then one of my friends exposed my crush in front of people who did not know. which uh. is not something i can just brush off#and thats minor and will be fine but god this week has been fucking shit and it’s one more thing#also missed class bc of tech and i feel guilty about that even though i have no reason to#i have so much fucking shit due across the next week and no physical time to work on it bc of performances#i’m gonna have a breakdown and cry i think#and i want to call my parents but i’m also. a little scared bc of this flashback i don’t want to accidentally make it worse when looking for#- comfort. especially bc i can’t fucking tell them#this semester has FUCKING SUCKED. i want to scream and cry#ted talks
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oh man, if i thought eps 9-10 made me mad..... this was easily the worst episode in the entire season.
i knew these eliminations would hurt no matter what bc i grew so attached to most of the trainees left, but haruto not even being a candidate for p0.18... im a jaystar first and foremost, but i voted for haruto every. single. day. my other picks rotated, but haruto was my no.2 pick the whole time
Chen Kuanjui, Haruto, Wang Zihao, Woongki, Seowon, i'll be following you from now on, wherever you end up!! stars like you are impossible to hide- you were born to shine for everyone to see!
i'm actually relieved Zhang Hao was second- the last thing we need now is knetz to turn on the one g trainee they allow to thrive. If he was 1st, no doubt korean voters would have dropped him, and he'd get Xiaoting'd. Also, as a jaystar.... I'll just say this episode was rough for me and leave it at that. Honestly, Sung Hanbin has nothing left to prove (he's done different concepts, had multiple main vocal and killing parts and never even come close to losing his 1st rank), so I do wish he'd share the spotlight even slightly- but in the end, it's a competition. I do wish they’d stop angel editing him though when he’s proven to be the single most ruthless trainee on the show. Every other trainee who’s in a more precarious position has been more compassionate with parts distribution at one point or another. Anyway, congrats to Ricky on breaking into the top 9!!!
#also shanbin stans bending over backwards to pretend their pick is being oppressed... stfu. oh nooo did u worry he might be 2nd for a sec?#someone said they had a panic attack. bc he might be 2nd.#i hate yall fr#im not a shanbin anti but this episode has kicked him out of my personal top 9#im sorry. im bored of him!#he's had the killing part or main vocal every performance#and he's still never been my favourite performer in any of them.#lmr-hui/tomboy-zhang hao/smn-matthew#also congrats to jongwoo for surviving!!! he's been in my picks since home#im voting for jay every single day but im not watching a single other piece of bp. not even the finale#boys planet#boys planet discourse#also please let the noona thing die its so fucking creepy#yujin is v talented but i want him out of the lineup because his fanbase sexualises him so much. thats a MINOR#itd be one thing if they were treating him like takuto or ollie but the way they keep making him act 'sexy'... jail! jaill!!#also lee jeonghyeon is mid and im tired of mnet pretending he isnt. jack of all trades master of none#if he wasnt korean he wouldve been eliminated for sure#i love the g trainees and jiwoong's grown on me a lot but if the top 9 debuted tomorrow...#i would not stan. it's mid!! this bepler does not stand out at all amongst the competition of other 4th gen groups at all#i might stream hao and matthew's fancams. but thats it.#like its a lineup with one decent vocalist one standout rapper and a bunch of dancers. thats every boy group now#not to mention that theyre all boy scouts. the variety shows are going to be SO boring except for maybe a close up on gyuvin's face#also ive come around so much to hui. that man is a gem#i honestly hope he goes the soloist route and u best believe i'll be streaming#phanbin also deserves to debut in an actually good group. unlike someone else i could mention he's always been the standout performer#hes never earned a high rank i disagreed with. man works his ass off
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hey yea so i realized that i should rlly try to stop w/bingeing & purging bc damn today was so awful :)
#tw // ed#tw // bulimia#literally thought i was gonna die + i almost wasnt able 2 purge so i had a minor panic attack there#+ someone probably heard me at this point so i could easily get suspected again#so i shouldn’t do this so i cant be accused of something if there is nothing 2 expose me for hA#anyways lets hope i don’t get fucking thrown out of the house or something hahahahahahah#or i could legit just say it’s bc of my meds… which is real like i sometimes get nauseous bc of the side effects sooo….#then again my dad is the only one home & he’s sleeping#& my brother sometimes blasts techno music right next to him & he’s completely unbothered#so maybe it’s cool :’)))))))
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𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 | hwang in-ho
( gif credits to @lalaray )
—summary: for some reason, player 001 seems to like you a little too much, way more than you think. amongst the chaos after the mingle game, he gets closer to you. —pairing: hwang in-ho/young-il/player 001 x female!reader —word count: 4.5k —warnings: bro has a lot of names, +18, smut !!! (minors dni), most definitely ooc!in-ho, descriptions of the reader having female genitalia, some porn with some plot, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, slight voyeurism? (a guard outside the bathroom listening all the tea💀), sub in-ho!!!, obsessive, possessive behavior, mentions of stalking, slight manipulation, in-ho being a slut for the reader, they want each others bodies so bad, panic attack, blood, killing, yk usual squid game stuff.
writer’s note: english is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if there is a grammatical error. hope you like it!
ᯓ✶ part one ── part two
The first thing you saw were Young-il's eyes, and then you sensed his hands resting on your shoulders, a subtle touch but one that struck your entire core, sending shivers up and down your spine, snapping you out of the trance of shock, drawing you back to reality and back to him.
“Hey, hey, shhh...” he spoke softly, leaning close to you, making all you focused on was him, his voice, his eyes, the way his lips uttered your name. Him, him, him...
“Young-il?” you breathed out, matching your respiration to his ever-calm one.
He nodded his head slightly, his fingers stroking your shoulders soothingly. “You're okay. You did so good. It's over now” his soft whispers felt like an anchor back to earth, anchors you were clinging to with all your might.
“I got you” he assured you, helping you to your feet again. It was only then that you noticed that you were still in the room set of the third game, there was only you and him left in the arena, and the multitude of bodies sprawled around the bloodstained floor, of course. Noticing your gaze drift to the dead people, his hand lifted to your chin, standing right in front of you to block your field of vision and reduce it to just him, his serene face and piercing eyes, “Just look at me, angel. Keep those pretty eyes on me, yeah?”
He delicately pleaded you, his thumb tracing patterns of grazing caresses on the skin of your chin, treating you as carefully as possible.
And you complied, of course, succumbing to the gentle darkness contained within his eyes. Like a little lamb falling into the wolf's trap.
“There you are,” a little, honest smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
A couple of guards were standing near you, watching you in silence and strangely, allowing Young-il to comfort and help you during your panic attack. The first one you had since you had arrived in the horrifying place, you hadn't cracked once, holding a tough and fearless armor.
“You are safe with me. Nothing will happen to you,” his other hand moved down from your shoulder through your arm, igniting a warm flush on your skin under the passage of his palm, all the way down to encounter yours, his fingers intertwining between yours. “I'll make sure of that, okay?”
You merely manage a trembling nod, holding his gaze. His reassuring, gentle demeanor was all you needed at that moment, in that strange place, full of strangers, he seemed to be the only familiar sight to you, the light among all the ruthless darkness. And his face, exuding concern, completely captured your heart.
Young-il offered you that one protector figure you always needed, that someone to rely on and trust even in your darkest moments.
“Come with me, please” one of the guards, the one with a square outlined on his mask, interrupted your moment, stepping up beside you, his gun pointed at the ground and not at either of you, thank goodness. His voice held a diplomatic, yet polite tone, glancing at the two of you. Young-il glanced at him with a scowl on his face, not too happy that the guard had popped onto the scene, apparently, his gaze went ice cold in the span of a millisecond, “Sir, miss, you need to go back to the main room with the other players.”
“The lady needs to freshen up a bit, could I accompany her to the bathrooms?” Young-il asked— no, rather, he actually demanded of the armed guard, his demeanor shifting to an authoritative one, straightening up and looking at the masked man with imposing eyes.
The guard looked from Young-il to you and back to him, finally nodding his head just once after a few seconds of contemplation, looking at him too long, nearly as if he was considering Young-il's expression, “Of course. Come with me, please.”
You did not decide to comment on the strange behavior of the guard, even they had been acting like human beings, empathetic and considerate. You really couldn't think of anything much at all, all you could focus on was Young-il's hand placed on your lower back as you walked together through the winding, ridiculously colorful corridors and staircases inside the seemingly infinite building.
His touch had your mind a fuzzy blur and the panic and self-doubt in your veins had already been well forgotten, replaced by a state of constant flushing, feeling so small next to him. The feeling was a good one, though. Definitely.
Ever since you had met him he had seemed to have a special liking for you, always making sure you were safe and secure, putting you above the others, making you feel protected and seen. Before every game he made sure he stayed by your side, willing to take whatever risks were necessary for both of you to come out of it alive. Gi-hun had told you a couple of times that he liked you, much more than a friend, but you refused, huffing that it wasn't the place to think about that, much less regarding a man who was married, supposedly. The two of you had really bonded so well, as if you had somehow known each other for a very long time before this.
Once you were in the bathrooms, Young-il closed the door behind both of you, leaving the square guard just outside, and then guided you towards the sinks, opening one so you could take a sip of water.
“Let me...” he quietly whispered, rolling up the sleeves of his turquoise tracksuit and soaking his hands for a few seconds before raising them to your face, running his fingers gently across your cheekbones, removing traces of blood droplets that had been lucky enough to land on your skin, he thought to himself. For some reason, everything felt more intimate than it should have.
You stood in silence, watching him with big, attentive eyes as he wiped your face delicately, as if your skin were the finest porcelain. All that could be heard for a few moments was the water running from the sink and the thundering beat of your heart, desperate to flee out of your chest and leap into his.
“Young-il?”
“Hm?” he hummed, very much focused on cleaning your face, his countenance encouraged you to ask him anything you wanted, it was peaceful and gentle.
“Why do you care so much about me?” you dared to ask him, in a low tone, brave enough to hold his gaze, which softened at your question.
He held back his hands, pulling them away from your face very slowly, analyzing your flushed face for a few moments, contemplating an answer.
“You're special. Very different from the others.”
Young-il sympathized with you, with your history, your person. Usually when he looked at you, he saw his old self, from before all this. He saw in you the good side of things, your good heart, your innocence and kindness, you were much more than a pretty face. He could see past your usual gloomy and pouty face, past your sharp and too cunning eyes, you were too much for that place. And that's why he intended to take you out of there and keep you with him, to have you by his side to care for you and provide for you.
He was excited about the idea of getting to know you further, like a new game in which he had to crack his way through. And In-ho, he was good at games.
You blushed slightly, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “Special?”
Young-il spun around, allowing you to see his side profile as he washed his hands in the sink, concealing the impulse to smirk as he noticed the immediate effect his words had on you. He had you right where he wanted you.
Now he wasn't wearing his usual dark mask, capable of covering his each and every emotion, no, now his expressions and gestures were for everyone to see, so he had to try a little harder than usual to be cautious. As you too were very careful and cautious, always attentive to your surroundings, you had figured out the objective of the last games as soon as you arrived at the arenas. It had been a record, no other player had been as interesting and quick-witted as you. You only needed a couple of minutes, a scan through the walls, the equipment brought by the guards, and you already had the answer. You were a prodigy. Not even he knew what you were doing in there to begin with, when you should have been in the best university.
You would definitely be a favorite of the filthy V.I.P.'s and that, for some reason, made him uneasy.
“Mhm...” he hummed once again, wetting his face now, refreshing himself as well, thoughtfully, “That makes you dangerous.”
His eyes held a slight playfulness as they met yours now, and his pupils expanded as he watched you step closer to him, unwrapping your sweatshirt from around your waist and lifting it up to his face, gently wiping and drying his skin with it, running the cloth carefully over his cheekbones, forehead and chin, drying every drop of water, sweat and blood that rolled across his skin.
“Why?” you tilted your head, big, interested eyes watching him intently as you carefully wiped his cheeks.
Young-il gazed at you for a few seconds, feeling himself swooning at the careful way you were treating him. He cleared his voice subtly before replying to you, in all honesty, “You're the only one I care about in here.”
Usually In-ho encountered with people who looked at him with fear, with trembling hands, hesitant voice and submissive manners. Most guards were like that with him, he was the Front Man after all. Just a movement of his fingers, a word emitted by his voice, was enough for the whole building to move at his command, for anyone to race to do what he ordered.
But you... you simply reached out to him, touched him, treated him with care, with gentleness and softness, looking at him with warm and sympathetic eyes.
“No other person makes me feel both weak and strong” he rasped out, quietly, his warm breath brushing against your lips, which gaped at his words, his choice of words, “That's dangerous for a man like me”
You motioned to pull your hand away from his face, but he was quick to grab your wrist, stopping the movement.
“Young-il, you're married, I can't—” you hurriedly opted to go the right way, trying to talk some sense into him, shaking your head softly, blinking several times within a single minute. Your heart was already starting to beat faster and he could feel it through his thumb placed on your pulse.
He shook his head, seeking your gaze, his fingers gently squeezing your wrist, not wanting you to move too far away from him.
“I'm not married. I lied” he revealed to you, almost desperately. There was no reason for him to lie to you on that, because he knew that you were someone he could trust, and that everything that was going to happen there, would remain within those walls. A little complicity. A minor crack in the script, in the whole scheme that he had been working on for weeks.
You let him grab your wrist and the jacket of the tracksuit you had previously held in your hand fell to the floor, making a muffled noise that echoed off the quiet walls of the bathrooms. Your brow furrowed slightly, not understanding what he was talking about now.
“You lied? Why?” you asked in a low tone, as if anyone could hear you. It seemed, at least it felt like too private and all too intimate a conversation for anyone to overhear.
“I didn't want to push you away and scare you with my... life resolutions” Young-il lowered your hand now joined with his, looking at you with brighter eyes than usual, “It was the wiser thing to do.”
“Resolutions?” all you appeared to be doing was asking and asking, and In-ho, right there and then, was willing to answer all you wanted to know. Your tone of voice drifted into playfulness, void of judgment or disgust, on the contrary, you reassured him, “All of us here have made bad choices in our lives, that's why we're here. We're all the villains of society”
“Villains...” he repeated, savoring the word and approving it with a gentle nod of his head. Then he tugged on your hand, lifting it to his face, placing an affectionate kiss on your knuckles, doing all of that while keeping eye contact, “But you're not bad, not like them, not like me. You're just so good, angel.” There was the petname again, and it held the exact same effect as when he first called you that, making you blush softly, your legs trembling just barely, your core reacting instantly, your body succumbing to his, longing for him.
His fingers caressed the palm of your hand tenderly, “You have no blood on your pretty hands, no perversity in your little head, no, you're a good girl. You always have been, right?”
He read you like an open book, even though you had been cautious and reserved since the games had begun, you had not let anyone in, much less pass over the walls you had built around yourself. Yet in the span of a few minutes, Young-il had ripped them apart, tearing his way through them, into you.
You caught a glimpse of pity in his eyes.
“You don't have a debt, you just don't have anyone out there waiting for you, to take care of you, provide for you” At his words, you gulped, watching him kiss your knuckles once again, making your heart race, then his lips kissed your pulse on your wrist, and after that, he tugged you closer, placing your palm against his chest, making you feel the beat of his heart as well, “I could be the one. I could take care of you, protect you, give you everything you want. There wouldn't be anything I wouldn't do for you and those eyes. You'd just have to stick by my side, look pretty for me, hm?”
In-ho had been watching you, of course, ever since you had met Gon Ji-cheol in the subway, ever since you had encountered Gi-hun. He knew your life completely, he had grown obsessed with you. You were everything he needed, everything he wanted, the missing piece in his new life. The anchor he desperately needed, yearned to hold on to.
And to your flesh he clung, his lips making a path of light, but tentative kisses on the back of your hand, across your skin, up your arm.
“Young-il...” you breathed out his name a bit stunned by the whole sudden confession. At the sound, he felt his limbs tremble, his lips had reached your bicep and it wasn't until he kissed your shoulder that he opened his eyes so he could look at you with raw adoration, his breath joining yours at the closeness.
“I'll get you out of here, safe and sound. I won't let them touch a hair on your head” he promised, reassuring you, pulling you in, inviting you to slip into his orbit, “I just need you to trust me”
Your eyelashes grazed your cheeks as you blinked slowly, your hand rising to his shoulder, thumb brushing his neck, “How will you do that?”
“Trust me” he pleaded, staring at you for a few seconds before leaning down into you, both of his hands landing on your waist, holding you against him, his face nestled into your neck, he began to press his lips into your skin, kissing it. You close your eyes in utter pleasure, feeling yourself getting all aroused, suffocated by all the attention, the sweet words, his desire for you.
“Would you do that for me?” he rasped out against your skin before kissing it, sucking lightly, “...hm?”
You nodded, swallowing hard, his lips rapidly kissing your throat, and suddenly, everything was him, his mouth, his breath, his hands squeezing your waist. Him...
You lifted your chin, allowing him more access to the soft flesh of your neck, seductive lips exploring every inch of your skin.
“Yes”
“That's my girl” he cooed with tenderness, kissing your neck one last time before pulling away from it so he could look at you, not even letting you breathe the air that had slipped out of your lungs for the entirety of his doing, before he was kissing your lips like a starving man.
He breathed against your lips in between frantic open-mouth kisses. He almost felt himself melt as his ears were blessed by the delightful little noises leaking out of your mouth, panting and low moans escalating up your throat.
“Young-il…” you whispered his name, your voice sheepishly lowering as you noticed the look in his eyes, your hands clasped around his neck, fingers trembling from the thrill and sudden shame that shook you.
“Jump” he said, his tone of voice heavy with command, his hands reaching around your waist and down onto your ass to lift you up effortlessly onto the side of the sinks, balancing himself tight against you in between your legs, which wrapped around his hips and pressed him further into you, under an instinctive impulse.
You panted against his lips as you felt his erection against the inside of your thigh, his body eagerly surrendering to yours in desperation.
His commanding voice and face were something that really turned you on even more, if that was even possible. It wasn't usual for him to be this stern with you, he was usually like that with the other players, with strangers, always cautious, quiet and tactful, meticulous of his every step and every word.
“W-wait— we're going to fuck in h-here?” you somehow managed to asked in between frantic, breathless kisses, barely opening your eyes, catching him with an expression of raw lust, pupils fully dilated now.
Young-il smirked playfully, allowing you to catch your breath for a moment, hands caressing your skin appreciatively beneath the fabric of your shirt, before dropping down and laying on either side of you against the sinks, veins bulging against his skin, “You want to do it in the other room? I don't mind having an audience.”
His little tease and the way he tilted his head made you blush furiously, fingers nuzzling the back of his neck, curling between locks of his hair.
“The guard will hear us...” you tried to talk some sense into him, whispering quietly to him, leaning your head even closer, as if you were little kids sharing a forbidden secret.
But Young-il stood his ground, kissing your lips shortly, to reassure you, noticing the worry in your big eyes, “Don't worry about him, don't worry about anyone,” his hand snaked between your bodies, spreading your legs a little further apart, “He won't hear a thing, they never hear or see anything. Not if they are ordered not to”
One of his hands reached up, stroking your hair soothingly, sensing the softness of your locks between his fingers. You were perfect, perfect. And he just knew he could lose all track of time, if it meant letting himself fall into you, touching you, feeling you, worshipping you.
"Lift your hips for me, yeah?”
Obedient, you lifted your hips just a little, letting him pull the hem of your tracksuit pants down your legs, taking it out of the way of obstructing his path into you.
“I know you want this as much as I do, you don't have to say it,” he cheekily smiled, looking up at you once he had lowered your pants down until they were at the level of your ankles. On his journey upwards, he kissed the side of your leg, your knees and your thighs without taking his eyes off yours, he was ruthless and you looked so pretty to him.
“Your body speaks to me, it has spoken to me since the first game. I've noticed the way you look at me. You are a naughty girl.”
You heaved a sigh, closing your eyes and pulling your head back as his hand dipped into the center in between your legs, feeling the wetness of your panties and the heat, your cunt pulsing around nothing. Your hands, now on either side of you clasped onto the ceramics of the sinks, your back arching beautifully.
You can't help the way your body trembles, flutters and simply submits when his finger rubs your swollen clit through your panties, feeling your face and your whole body flush, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment at the magnitude of his words and the enormity of all that was happening.
“Look at you,” he cooed, eyes locked on your pussy once he had pulled down your panties with precise but desperate motions, ran his index and middle fingers through your slick folds, making you moan, “you're soaking wet for me, just for my kisses? Fuck, you are so beautiful. My pretty, dirty girl. Letting herself be touched by a stranger.... but then again, not a stranger at all, hm?” his voice almost sounded mocking when it reached your ears, “I need to taste you,” his gaze moved up to your face, and he looked nearly pleading, he licked his lips in anticipation, fingers sinking just barely into the small entrance of your core, “may I?”
“Please—” You at once nodded feverishly, almost whimpering over the words that rushed into your throat, “Yes! Please, Young-il, please—”
He dropped to his knees in front of you, slouching closer, sinking right between your legs, his hands lingered around your knees, squeezing them against him with a possessive hold.
“In-ho” he corrected you, flushed against the skin of your inner thigh, pressing kisses along it, all too drunk already by your intoxicating scent, his mind going fuzzy with desire, the urge to make you his, “Call me In-ho”
You didn't even pause to doubt what he was telling you, Hell, you'd call him God if he asked you to. You were in the palm of his hand, on full display. His lips kissed your sex and you mentally thanked fate for putting you there, with him.
“Say it” he ordered, just before he plunged his tongue deep between your folds, knocking all the little breath left in your lungs. “Say my name, angel” the vibration of his voice against the most sensitive flesh of your body clenched the knot deep in the bottom of your belly.
“In-ho” you named him between shaky whimpers and little moans, like a prayer. One of your hands dropped to his head, fingers sinking into the black of his hair, tugging it and making him hiss against your cunt. “In-ho...”
In-ho, In-ho, In-ho...
“Good girl”
God.
He ate your pussy like it was his very last meal, lapping and drinking in everything you had to offer, every bit of wetness from you. The slurping noise burst through every wall of the bathrooms and suddenly, you didn't give a shit if the guard outside heard you, you didn't give a shit if all the guards heard you.
They could be right there watching you, you couldn't care less, it wouldn't change the way you tugged at his hair, how your eyes rolled back and the way he was gazing up at you from below, kneeling perfectly between your legs as if they were the gates to heaven.
His tongue seemed familiar, his fingers squeezing your thighs, his eyes locked with yours, his lips kissing your sex with no breath, all the breath he needed was you. He didn't feel like a stranger, your body acquainted him, perhaps in another life. It all felt like deja vu, a reminiscence.
Your muscles tensed and he felt it through his tongue. You were about to cum, and your throat felt scratchy from all the moans and whimpers rasping through it.
“Gonna cum, baby?” he coaxed, pulling away from your cunt for just a couple of seconds, sneaking a hand in and pressing just barely at your entrance with a couple of fingers, kissing your clit and sucking it just right, “Yes you are,” he grumbled endearingly, his tongue tracing caresses all around your clit now, looking up at you.
“You're so tight” he marveled, watching in awe as your cunt eagerly attempted to suck in his fingertips, clenching and struggling to fit them. “Look at her, so eager... such a good girl, aren't you?” Once again he leaned into your clit, kissing, sucking and caressing it with his tongue, already too pussy drunk to stop. “Cum for me. Cum on my tongue, yeah, just like that”
“Holy shit, In-ho—” you hiccupped, feeling tears blur your vision, a wave of pleasure unleashing from deep in your belly. You moaned his name like a prayer, pressing his head closer to your cunt on an instinctive impulse, “Mmph!”
Maybe it was seeing his chin and mouth all dripping wet of you, or his dark, deep eyes marveling at how your pussy squeezed tight around his fingers, or his other hand sliding up under your shirt, finding one of your breasts and flicking your nipple. Maybe it was all of it, either way, you were cumming like you had never cum before. Your whole body was shaking and succumbing to the overstimulation. Succumbing to him.
In-ho gulped down everything you gave him like magic waters.
“You taste better than I imagined,” he confided, licking his index and middle finger as well, catching every trace there was of you that he could possibly consume as if it were honey.
Then, he kissed your pussy once more before standing up, sending shockwaves of electricity through your whole body with his touch, his hands settled on your hips, holding you so you wouldn't fall.
And he just smirked. He moved closer to you and kissed your mouth, making you savor your own taste through him, his hands appreciatively caressing your thighs, swiftly pulling up your panties back on.
“You're perfect, perfect,” he smoothed against your lips, his forehead leaning close to yours and he kissed you again, praising you, holding you tight in the afterglow of your orgasm, “My girl, my favorite girl, so good for me"
“We need to get back before someone starts to get suspicious,” he mumbled softly, helping you to your feet and pulling up your pants, always holding you with his hands and strong arms.
“B-but,” you retorted, your hands gripping his shoulders, still feeling your legs a little wobbly and unsteady, your dilated pupils and half-closed eyes following him as he arranged you, “I want to-”
He interrupted you, grinning warmly, stroking a lock of your hair away from your forehead before kissing your lips once more, as if closing a deal, a promise, “There will be time. Be patient, princess. We don't want the others to find out about my favoritism, do we?” seeing you still looking a bit confused, and still denying with your head, In-ho smiled playfully, “That would be very unprofessional of me, so this will be our secret”
This time you kissed him, sealing the secret.
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