#i had a minor panic attack
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i love my job i love my job i love my job
#today was…. not the best#i had a minor panic attack#and nearly started crying#and i just feel so overwhelmed#and i feel like everyone is sick of me#i have another doctors appointment tomorrow and i’m scared#and i just want to be held and comforted#anywho i’ll be fine just needed to scream#shelbs runs her mouth
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Buck's head resting gently on Tommy's tummy while Tommy runs his fingers through Buck's hair send tweet
#bucktommy#911 abc#tevan#they're at the hospital after the plane minor crash landed#tommy has a broken leg or something#buck is still coming down from the panic attack he had after finding his man in the wreckage#yes i am evil
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when the shift was so bad you had to sit in your car in silence for a few min and then when you got home you had to sit on the edge of your bed for a few min and stare at the ground until you remembered you’re alive
#I love my job this is slash joke. I just had some very very minor frustrations that culminated into having a 2 hr long panic attack#(not actually obv bc. not what a panic attack is. but like. moderate grade anxiety for 2 hrs or so 😭)#lee speaks
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This is mun again-
Ho boy, I feel so honkin’ awkward about this buuuttt lately I’ve been getting some asks about horror/creepy media and unfortunately, I’m a little uncomfortable with it. I do appreciate the asks and I will answer to all of them as best to my ability, but the thing is… as mun - I simply am too much of a fraidy-cat to be searching up certain media (as I also have paranoia-)
Though I really can’t handle horror and one of the asks I’ll have to simply skirt around in order to answer it; some creepypasta might be okay?
Just- yeah. I don’t know what I’m saying
#mun post#out of character#ooc post#ooc#🌟#character ask blog#not an ask#ic blog#trying to set some small boundaries#despite having had a minor creepypasta fixation i can’t handle horror#it sets off intense panic attacks and i’m highly susceptible and paranoid unfortunately#i’ve gotten some asks on lost media and whatnot and i just? don’t know if i can do it#apparently i still somehow enjoy analog horror and whatnot but my mind is weird
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remembering how back in s1 Tim did an interview where he threw out that Carlos had some secrets that we’d find out and then it really never went anywhere... then we had s2 with his parents not really knowing about his romantic life, which I thought was maybe it... but now Tim is over here saying this has been planned since day 1 so maybe... maybe we really are finally getting this secret that Tim teased back in early 2020... 🤷🏻♂️
#might be giving him too much credit#but maybe#I remember when he teased that in 2020 and I had a minor panic attack about it#911 lone star#tim minear#carlos reyes#ls spoilers#ls speculation
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may is really kicking my ass so far
#I was so stressed about final assignments#now I'm sick#it's about 3am and I'm awake bc I have a fever and I can't sleep#and I'm scared bc I'm not home so I can't just grab a popsicle and go watch a movie#and I think all my friends are asleep now#and I don't wanna call my mom bc it's 3am and its just a fever I don't wanna scare her#I feel so terrible#I had a minor panic attack earlier when I realized I had a fever#and I'm so congested I can't pop my ears#this is Bad
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welcome to cj/crispy's bi-yearly ptsd rant about fireworks, you are all safe and valid here and i am mentally giving out juice boxes and animal crackers
#last year wasnt too bad i barely remember nye tbh but OH BOY are the neighbors making up for it this year#they arent like super big or anything but they are LOUD and we're just rural enough that nobody gives a shit#like i cannot tell you how much i love the idea of fireworks and their history#but id also like to not have 12 consecutive minor panic attacks because the neighbors have some money to burn#it's worse around the 4th of july ’cause that also has the caveat of ''what tf are you even celebrating fuck you''#and im much more chill when it's like families celebrating with their kids because i remember how much fun mine had#but there are no kids around us#they're all adults and i want so badly to just be like ''yeah you do you man im glad youre having a good time'' but also like#they have to sell specialised jackets and blankets and medication for pets for nye and 4th of july#we dont have too many veterans in our part of town but i will never forget that pic of the vet hiding in the subway with his hands over#his ears#i dunno man i know not every activity can be accommodating to absolutely everyone#but i also think avoiding loud triggering (for a bunch of different reasons) noises is like#doable#there are quiet fireworks#thankfully my cat couldn't give two shits about loud noises but /I/ give two shits about loud noises#shut up cj#to delete
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didn’t realize “being against people bringing stuffed animals into a hospital” was a position people had jesus
#when I had emergency surgery the month after I turned eighteen I was so scared of#well a lot of things#but one of the more minor fears was going to an adult hospital for the first time#and for people who aren’t aware I bring a lil bear named poopsie around with me everywhere#he’s a big source of comfort for me#and I was so scared they were gonna judge or even worse not let me bring him in#but they were so supportive of that and they were so nice#for fucking.. emergency surgery they made it less scary#I’ve had some shit doctors so whenever I get some good ones it sticks out to me#I did have a panic attack when I woke up with my pants slightly off but um. we don’t have to get into that
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oh yeah i had no nightmares last night but i did wake up in the middle of a night and immediately worried that someone was in my room and when i went on a walk today i was way more paranoid then usual
#still pretty good#idk im just worried im gonna react to a book like i did with house of leaves again#like usually my delusions are incredibly minor compared to what ive heard a lot of other people have had#but that book fucked me up for like a week#legitimately had a panic attack because of it lmao
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Im sorry you're feeling tired and aren't having the best of days Skyy :(. Here's a little bed though to hopefully make your day even just a little better: 🛏️. I hope tomorrow goes smoother for you :).
Thank you. A little bed is all I need right now. In fact I have just gone to bed so this is perfect. :)
#ask#feelingkozy#I’m sorry for the tired posts I just. needed a way to cope I guess#thank you you guys (I hope saying that isn’t offensive-) are the best :)#I have work all day tomorrow so hopefully I can at least rest easy there#it’s been a week now of almost nonstop bad feelings and. I’m just. so SO tired#I had a minor panic attack a few minutes ago actually#a blanket was thrown across the room and an irn bru van was crushed both within my fist and under my foot#can*#and I also punched the sofa and made my knuckle bleed a little bit whoops#but up in my room on my bed I feel safer. calmer.#so thank you. a bed in this trying time means so much.m yo me#once again thank you bestie 💙
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just found out about the Betty Boop musical and I should be excited but instead I feel sick. this was supposed to be MY PROJECT
#IF ONLY I HAD STARTED EARLIER#sorry to be dramatic but i did literally have a minor panic attack but i got it under control#mia.txt
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Slayter bater, gooning goose and silly rabbits
#uhoh girlies ive been so angry lately#so just pissy and moody and its all because#well three things: men and ptsd and lonely as all hell#and i HATE sayin i have ptsd but at the end of the day when i man yells at me and i have a minor panic attack and LITERAL flashbacks#but shit i never had a MAN make it up to me and apologize like REALLY apologize and i dont need much just maybe like FLOWERS or just effort#and my last few exes man they're good guys but genuinely still got me so fucked up#sure everyone makes mistakes and im no baby and im FULLY down to take an apology but theres no effort no CARE#“oh i want you back i really care” words are cheap like you bastards#i just want ???? someone who wont say something that'll fuck me up for weeks#is that so hard ??#literally just PUT effort#ive got one goal in life and thats to find a LOVER and its so ??? hard ?? ill literally move country's if someone ASKED#i aint PICKY i just want to love and be loved#Spotify
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wow okay today was one of the most emotionally draining days i’ve gone through in recent history. and that’s saying something
#this show is making everyone angry constantly and sapping their energy and sympathy#i learned! that i experience trauma flashbacks! during a fucking run of the show!#had a flashback and silent panic attack and spent hours coming down from it#got to unwind with friends which was much needed#but then one of my friends exposed my crush in front of people who did not know. which uh. is not something i can just brush off#and thats minor and will be fine but god this week has been fucking shit and it’s one more thing#also missed class bc of tech and i feel guilty about that even though i have no reason to#i have so much fucking shit due across the next week and no physical time to work on it bc of performances#i’m gonna have a breakdown and cry i think#and i want to call my parents but i’m also. a little scared bc of this flashback i don’t want to accidentally make it worse when looking for#- comfort. especially bc i can’t fucking tell them#this semester has FUCKING SUCKED. i want to scream and cry#ted talks
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oh man, if i thought eps 9-10 made me mad..... this was easily the worst episode in the entire season.
i knew these eliminations would hurt no matter what bc i grew so attached to most of the trainees left, but haruto not even being a candidate for p0.18... im a jaystar first and foremost, but i voted for haruto every. single. day. my other picks rotated, but haruto was my no.2 pick the whole time
Chen Kuanjui, Haruto, Wang Zihao, Woongki, Seowon, i'll be following you from now on, wherever you end up!! stars like you are impossible to hide- you were born to shine for everyone to see!
i'm actually relieved Zhang Hao was second- the last thing we need now is knetz to turn on the one g trainee they allow to thrive. If he was 1st, no doubt korean voters would have dropped him, and he'd get Xiaoting'd. Also, as a jaystar.... I'll just say this episode was rough for me and leave it at that. Honestly, Sung Hanbin has nothing left to prove (he's done different concepts, had multiple main vocal and killing parts and never even come close to losing his 1st rank), so I do wish he'd share the spotlight even slightly- but in the end, it's a competition. I do wish they’d stop angel editing him though when he’s proven to be the single most ruthless trainee on the show. Every other trainee who’s in a more precarious position has been more compassionate with parts distribution at one point or another. Anyway, congrats to Ricky on breaking into the top 9!!!
#also shanbin stans bending over backwards to pretend their pick is being oppressed... stfu. oh nooo did u worry he might be 2nd for a sec?#someone said they had a panic attack. bc he might be 2nd.#i hate yall fr#im not a shanbin anti but this episode has kicked him out of my personal top 9#im sorry. im bored of him!#he's had the killing part or main vocal every performance#and he's still never been my favourite performer in any of them.#lmr-hui/tomboy-zhang hao/smn-matthew#also congrats to jongwoo for surviving!!! he's been in my picks since home#im voting for jay every single day but im not watching a single other piece of bp. not even the finale#boys planet#boys planet discourse#also please let the noona thing die its so fucking creepy#yujin is v talented but i want him out of the lineup because his fanbase sexualises him so much. thats a MINOR#itd be one thing if they were treating him like takuto or ollie but the way they keep making him act 'sexy'... jail! jaill!!#also lee jeonghyeon is mid and im tired of mnet pretending he isnt. jack of all trades master of none#if he wasnt korean he wouldve been eliminated for sure#i love the g trainees and jiwoong's grown on me a lot but if the top 9 debuted tomorrow...#i would not stan. it's mid!! this bepler does not stand out at all amongst the competition of other 4th gen groups at all#i might stream hao and matthew's fancams. but thats it.#like its a lineup with one decent vocalist one standout rapper and a bunch of dancers. thats every boy group now#not to mention that theyre all boy scouts. the variety shows are going to be SO boring except for maybe a close up on gyuvin's face#also ive come around so much to hui. that man is a gem#i honestly hope he goes the soloist route and u best believe i'll be streaming#phanbin also deserves to debut in an actually good group. unlike someone else i could mention he's always been the standout performer#hes never earned a high rank i disagreed with. man works his ass off
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hey yea so i realized that i should rlly try to stop w/bingeing & purging bc damn today was so awful :)
#tw // ed#tw // bulimia#literally thought i was gonna die + i almost wasnt able 2 purge so i had a minor panic attack there#+ someone probably heard me at this point so i could easily get suspected again#so i shouldn’t do this so i cant be accused of something if there is nothing 2 expose me for hA#anyways lets hope i don’t get fucking thrown out of the house or something hahahahahahah#or i could legit just say it’s bc of my meds… which is real like i sometimes get nauseous bc of the side effects sooo….#then again my dad is the only one home & he’s sleeping#& my brother sometimes blasts techno music right next to him & he’s completely unbothered#so maybe it’s cool :’)))))))
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