#i had a minor panic attack
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i love my job i love my job i love my job
#today wasā¦. not the best#i had a minor panic attack#and nearly started crying#and i just feel so overwhelmed#and i feel like everyone is sick of me#i have another doctors appointment tomorrow and iām scared#and i just want to be held and comforted#anywho iāll be fine just needed to scream#shelbs runs her mouth
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Buck's head resting gently on Tommy's tummy while Tommy runs his fingers through Buck's hair send tweet
#bucktommy#911 abc#tevan#they're at the hospital after the plane minor crash landed#tommy has a broken leg or something#buck is still coming down from the panic attack he had after finding his man in the wreckage#yes i am evil
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when the shift was so bad you had to sit in your car in silence for a few min and then when you got home you had to sit on the edge of your bed for a few min and stare at the ground until you remembered youāre alive
#I love my job this is slash joke. I just had some very very minor frustrations that culminated into having a 2 hr long panic attack#(not actually obv bc. not what a panic attack is. but like. moderate grade anxiety for 2 hrs or so š)#lee speaks
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This is mun again-
Ho boy, I feel so honkinā awkward about this buuuttt lately Iāve been getting some asks about horror/creepy media and unfortunately, Iām a little uncomfortable with it. I do appreciate the asks and I will answer to all of them as best to my ability, but the thing isā¦ as mun - I simply am too much of a fraidy-cat to be searching up certain media (as I also have paranoia-)
Though I really canāt handle horror and one of the asks Iāll have to simply skirt around in order to answer it; some creepypasta might be okay?
Just- yeah. I donāt know what Iām saying
#mun post#out of character#ooc post#ooc#š#character ask blog#not an ask#ic blog#trying to set some small boundaries#despite having had a minor creepypasta fixation i canāt handle horror#it sets off intense panic attacks and iām highly susceptible and paranoid unfortunately#iāve gotten some asks on lost media and whatnot and i just? donāt know if i can do it#apparently i still somehow enjoy analog horror and whatnot but my mind is weird
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remembering how back in s1 Tim did an interview where he threw out that Carlos had some secrets that weād find out and then it really never went anywhere... then we had s2 with his parents not really knowingĀ about his romantic life, which I thought was maybe it... but now Tim is over here saying this has been planned since day 1 so maybe... maybe we really are finally getting this secret that Tim teased back in early 2020... š¤·š»āāļø
#might be giving him too much credit#but maybe#I remember when he teased that in 2020 and I had a minor panic attack about it#911 lone star#tim minear#carlos reyes#ls spoilers#ls speculation
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may is really kicking my ass so far
#I was so stressed about final assignments#now I'm sick#it's about 3am and I'm awake bc I have a fever and I can't sleep#and I'm scared bc I'm not home so I can't just grab a popsicle and go watch a movie#and I think all my friends are asleep now#and I don't wanna call my mom bc it's 3am and its just a fever I don't wanna scare her#I feel so terrible#I had a minor panic attack earlier when I realized I had a fever#and I'm so congested I can't pop my ears#this is Bad
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really wasnāt a bad day all things considered :]
#talked to one of my roommates twice and sent a message in a gc i havenāt talked in yet and yapped a lot in some servers#did my laundry#couldnāt work up courage to go get lunch in the cafeteria or energy to make food but i had some pretzels#so i didnt get hungry enough to feel sick#ppl have been niceys to me all day#only one panic attack and it was pretty minor#had a nightmare but it was just the nuclear fallout one not the drowning one#and it was my ex i watched die in it so like who gaf#AND TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!
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welcome to cj/crispy's bi-yearly ptsd rant about fireworks, you are all safe and valid here and i am mentally giving out juice boxes and animal crackers
#last year wasnt too bad i barely remember nye tbh but OH BOY are the neighbors making up for it this year#they arent like super big or anything but they are LOUD and we're just rural enough that nobody gives a shit#like i cannot tell you how much i love the idea of fireworks and their history#but id also like to not have 12 consecutive minor panic attacks because the neighbors have some money to burn#it's worse around the 4th of july ācause that also has the caveat of ''what tf are you even celebrating fuck you''#and im much more chill when it's like families celebrating with their kids because i remember how much fun mine had#but there are no kids around us#they're all adults and i want so badly to just be like ''yeah you do you man im glad youre having a good time'' but also like#they have to sell specialised jackets and blankets and medication for pets for nye and 4th of july#we dont have too many veterans in our part of town but i will never forget that pic of the vet hiding in the subway with his hands over#his ears#i dunno man i know not every activity can be accommodating to absolutely everyone#but i also think avoiding loud triggering (for a bunch of different reasons) noises is like#doable#there are quiet fireworks#thankfully my cat couldn't give two shits about loud noises but /I/ give two shits about loud noises#shut up cj#to delete
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oh yeah i had no nightmares last night but i did wake up in the middle of a night and immediately worried that someone was in my room and when i went on a walk today i was way more paranoid then usual
#still pretty good#idk im just worried im gonna react to a book like i did with house of leaves again#like usually my delusions are incredibly minor compared to what ive heard a lot of other people have had#but that book fucked me up for like a week#legitimately had a panic attack because of it lmao
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i can't believe i almost minored in religious studies when i get legitimately nauseous if someone talks about god for longer than 5 minutes
#the psychology behind religion fascinates me and that was why i wanted to do it#but i literally had a panic attack in the religious studies hallway because surprise surprise there was a lot of religious stuff#who would've thought the religion hallway would be religious right /s#also we're studying puritan narratives in my english class rn and so we're talking about god and i was so icked#and it just makes me laugh that i thought a religious studies minor would be such a great idea š#personal posts šāØļøāØļø
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riddled with anxiety today.
#might have had a minor panic attack last night#but honestly i can't tell if it was that or just a dizzy spell#fuck it we ball#witch aunt talksāØ
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Im sorry you're feeling tired and aren't having the best of days Skyy :(. Here's a little bed though to hopefully make your day even just a little better: šļø. I hope tomorrow goes smoother for you :).
Thank you. A little bed is all I need right now. In fact I have just gone to bed so this is perfect. :)
#ask#feelingkozy#Iām sorry for the tired posts I just. needed a way to cope I guess#thank you you guys (I hope saying that isnāt offensive-) are the best :)#I have work all day tomorrow so hopefully I can at least rest easy there#itās been a week now of almost nonstop bad feelings and. Iām just. so SO tired#I had a minor panic attack a few minutes ago actually#a blanket was thrown across the room and an irn bru van was crushed both within my fist and under my foot#can*#and I also punched the sofa and made my knuckle bleed a little bit whoops#but up in my room on my bed I feel safer. calmer.#so thank you. a bed in this trying time means so much.m yo me#once again thank you bestie š
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just found out about the Betty Boop musical and I should be excited but instead I feel sick. this was supposed to be MY PROJECT
#IF ONLY I HAD STARTED EARLIER#sorry to be dramatic but i did literally have a minor panic attack but i got it under control#mia.txt
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Slayter bater, gooning goose and silly rabbits
#uhoh girlies ive been so angry lately#so just pissy and moody and its all because#well three things: men and ptsd and lonely as all hell#and i HATE sayin i have ptsd but at the end of the day when i man yells at me and i have a minor panic attack and LITERAL flashbacks#but shit i never had a MAN make it up to me and apologize like REALLY apologize and i dont need much just maybe like FLOWERS or just effort#and my last few exes man they're good guys but genuinely still got me so fucked up#sure everyone makes mistakes and im no baby and im FULLY down to take an apology but theres no effort no CARE#āoh i want you back i really careā words are cheap like you bastards#i just want ???? someone who wont say something that'll fuck me up for weeks#is that so hard ??#literally just PUT effort#ive got one goal in life and thats to find a LOVER and its so ??? hard ?? ill literally move country's if someone ASKED#i aint PICKY i just want to love and be loved#Spotify
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Right now, the northeast is at really high risk for flooding so here's a friendly reminder from someone who learned the hard way:
CHECK YOUR RENTERāS INSURANCE FOR WATER DAMAGE COVERAGE
You will be shocked by how little a standard policy covers when it comes to water and/or flood damage.
Flood insurance almost always requires a completely separate policy managed by the National Flood Insurance Program (NFIP) under the scope of FEMA. You can get it as a renter, but it usually involves calling a local agent because itās highly regional and takes a lot of different variables into account. NEVER assume the person youāre renting from has adequate coverage. Even if they have homeownerās insurance, it probably doesnāt extend to rentersā belongings.
While youāre at it, MAKE SURE YOUR POLICY COVERS WATER BACKUP. This is different from flood insurance. A lot of basic policies only cover water damage from appliance malfunctions, like a washing machine overflowing. Coverage for water backing up out of a drain or sewer often costs extra (in my experience not more than a few extra bucks per month) and has to be opted into, itās not included.
Doing this will save you.
Last December, after three days of nonstop pouring rain, the drainage system outside an entrance to the house we were renting just couldnāt handle the volume anymore and water started pouring in under the door. We used everything we had to try to slow it down, and we were up all night using a wet vac we borrowed from a neighbor to try to contain hundreds of gallons of rainwater. I will never forget the mounting horror as I realized the water wasnāt going to stop until the rain did. It's not like a plumbing issue or dishwasher malfunction where you can cut off the source.
We were lucky, and the rain tapered off by the next morning. The layout of our living room meant that most of our stuff was away from the door, and we were able to bail water fast enough that very little ended up being a total loss and nothing important was damaged. We did, however, need to take our dog and get a hotel for a week, and ended up having to find a new place to live in five days (the week before Christmas, while recovering from COVID) because the damage needed so much renovation that moving was pretty much the only option.
Our renterās insurance covered nothing. Even without a NFIP policy, I was able to confirm with the insurance company that our claim would have been approved if weād opted into the water backup coverage, because the rainwater was coming out of the overwhelmed drain. We could have replaced the stuff we lost, and probably a bunch of stuff we had to work really hard to salvage. That particular policy would have covered some of the moving costs too, and they would have paid for temporary accommodations for us. (once again we were extremely lucky, and the hotel costs got reimbursed as a courtesy because they took longer to make a decision than they were supposed to)
Renterās insurance is not expensive. The tricked out policy I got for our new place with every add-on they offer runs me less than $30/month. It would have covered thousands of dollars of expenses that weāre still trying to crawl out from under more than six months later. In an ideal world you will never need to use it, but if you do, IT. WILL. SAVE. YOU.
I am by no means an expert, and can really only speak from my experience so if someone who knows more about this wants to chime in, please do! Keep in mind that all of this is going to vary significantly depending on which insurance company you use and your specific policy. Just please, for the love of god, get renter's insurance if you don't have it already, and read every page of the policy so you know what's covered and what you might need to opt into. Do it now, because shit like this
isn't going to wait.
#PSA#literally that week was one of the most stressful and awful things I've ever experienced#it didn't help that our landlord was extremely shady and didn't respond or help because she was out of the country and didn't care#our city isn't coastal and the problem areas for floods are in the neighborhoods that are on the water next to a big river#we didn't live anywhere near it#I now live on the 11th floor of a professionally managed building at the top of a hill#but my fiancƩe and I are traumatized to the point that she had a panic attack when our washing machine sprung a minor leak#I remember feeling sick when I saw our kitchen floor mat floating around on the water like a pool float
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wow okay today was one of the most emotionally draining days iāve gone through in recent history. and thatās saying something
#this show is making everyone angry constantly and sapping their energy and sympathy#i learned! that i experience trauma flashbacks! during a fucking run of the show!#had a flashback and silent panic attack and spent hours coming down from it#got to unwind with friends which was much needed#but then one of my friends exposed my crush in front of people who did not know. which uh. is not something i can just brush off#and thats minor and will be fine but god this week has been fucking shit and itās one more thing#also missed class bc of tech and i feel guilty about that even though i have no reason to#i have so much fucking shit due across the next week and no physical time to work on it bc of performances#iām gonna have a breakdown and cry i think#and i want to call my parents but iām also. a little scared bc of this flashback i donāt want to accidentally make it worse when looking for#- comfort. especially bc i canāt fucking tell them#this semester has FUCKING SUCKED. i want to scream and cry#ted talks
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