#I did have a panic attack when I woke up with my pants slightly off but um. we don’t have to get into that

[puppypawprince]

didn’t realize “being against people bringing stuffed animals into a hospital” was a position people had jesus

[livredebelle]

Twenty-two.

"...I KNOW, BUT... wait a second. She's stirring."

The first thing I heard when I awoke was the shrill piercing ringing sound in my right ear. Dazed and disoriented, I tried to sit up in bed, only to be pushed back down by a familiar, warm hand.

"What do you think you're doing? Lie back down."

"What happened? How did I get here?"

I had no recollection of how I'd ended up in my room, in my bed. I knew that had been my full intention when I'd come "home," but I also remembered the sensation of falling.

"You fainted at the doorstep. Don't you remember? You were losing some blood and severely dehydrated; it was only natural that would happen."

"Are you a doctor or something, then?"

He chuckled. "No, but my mother was." As my brain tried to process this new bit of information, he snapped his phone shut. Who still used an old flip phone in this day and age? "Shall I take your temperature one more time?"

"No, thanks. I feel fine." No need to give this guy an excuse to touch me, when that was the least of my worries. As my memory came back to me slowly--the horridness of the evening drama with my so-called "family"--I shook my head, as if trying to deny it happened. Refusing to dwell on what could very well be the cause of an upcoming panic attack, I changed the subject. "What time is it?"

"3 AM." Heath cocked his head to the side slightly, his eyes darting back and forth every time my body made a movement.

"I'm sorry, you should be sleeping, not having to take care of me like this. I'll be fine now, so could you leave?"

"You don't sound sorry at all," he observed.

I clicked my tongue. "What else do you want to hear? It's not like I asked you to help me--you did it of your own accord. What, should I fall down on my knees and thank you for your sense of heroism?"

"One day, I'm going to do something about that poison-laden tongue of yours." His promise was sensual and dark, and I stared hard at my hands, barely holding back a shiver. He stood, and headed towards my bedroom door. "You're right though. I decided to help you on my own, so I suppose there's no one to blame but myself for your... lack of enthusiasm. And there's no need for you to be sorry towards me--not now, not ever." What was he saying now? He wasn't making sense, as was usual. "I'll let you rest--holler if you need anything." And with that, he made his graceful exit, leaving me angry and fussy and exasperated. What did I want? Wasn't it for him to leave? Yet why was I feeling so frustrated...

Sighing, I collapsed back onto my pillow and stared up at the ceiling, trying to empty my mind and failing miserably at it. Should I skip school when the sun comes up? No, it wouldn't be right--a waste of tuition money. I could never be so ungrateful. For now, though, I would sleep, and in my slumber fervently pray, once again, that I would not wake up and have to face the day.

***

I woke up.

I hate God.

As I trudged my ass to school, panting as it was difficult to breathe, I pondered briefly about who Heath had been on the phone with before I had awoken with him in the room. A secret girlfriend, perhaps? A bitter taste infiltrated my mouth.

I barely recalled how I made it to my seat for the first class. It happened to be the class Heath was assisting, too--hard to not think of the guy when I saw him more often than I did anyone else.

"Hi, is the seat next to you taken?"

A girl with short pixie hair and an overly sweet smile inquired, pointing to the one by my right. Immediately, I became uncomfortable. Why did people persist in talking to me when I had my beats in? Did that not give off the vibe, "Don't talk to me"? Maybe this person was just that dense.

I shook my head without saying more, hoping she would drop it. In my peripheral vision, I spotted Heath entering the lecture hall to hand the professor a stack of papers. He caught my eye, witnessing my discomfort and raising one of his eyebrows, as if he also couldn't believe what he was witnessing. Usually, nobody talked to me. But this annoying girl beamed and commenced to talk my ear off about how excited she was for the semester, and how she was hoping to make a lot of friends in college because she was a loner in high school... yadda yadda... I intensely focused on the blackboard in front of me, not because I found what the professor was writing was that interesting, but in an effort to dissuade her. But she could not be dissuaded so easily.

"Ooh, I like that anime character too!" She pointed to a sticker on my notebook. "The ending was such a plot twist, didn't you think so?"

"Do I know you?" I said, failing to hide my irritation.

"N-no, but I was hoping--"

"I hate spoilers."

I didn't let her finish and turned my attention back to the board. It didn't matter what she hoped for; I was not in the mood to make small talk--fuck what she wanted.

The chatty girl bit her lip but otherwise abided by my request for the remainder of class, to my relief. However, once class was over and I stood abruptly to leave for a smoke break, I noticed the girl tailing me, barely a step away.

Not wanting to cause a scene in the campus hallways, I pretended not to notice until we got outside to the outside smoking area. I crossed my arms and whirled to confront her, but she was no longer there. Huh. Maybe it was in my imagination...

"Hi! Do you need a lighter? Wanna use mine?"

The pixie-haired girl was here after all; still managing to smile somehow, she held out a rainbow-colored BIC lighter and held it out to me all innocently. What a complete paradox.

"I have my own. More importantly, what do you want?"

"Like I was trying to say earlier, I was hoping we could become friends. Is that too much to ask?" Her face crumpled in despair, which caused me to be taken by surprise--a rare accomplishment on her part.

"Why would you want to be friends with me?"

Truly, I was baffled. What made her think--no, what made her approach me to begin with? I knew I had a reputation for having one of the worst resting bitch faces on earth. This girl was bubbly and friendly--two characteristics I tended to avoid because I simply could not relate to those kinds of people.

She tilted her head. "What do you mean? I think you're really cool and pretty, and as soon as I saw you in the beginning of the semester I've wanted to be your friend. I only had the courage to talk to you now." She shrugged sheepishly and smiled brightly once more. "Is that too much?"

It was. It definitely was. And yet...

I couldn't shake her off, and that impressed me. It took a lot of patience to deal with me, I knew. It made my bitchiness melt away--albeit reluctantly.

I took out my own lighter and lit up a stoge without a word, unsure of what to say next. Luckily, she didn't stay quiet for long.

"I always thought it looked cooler when women smoked. Don't get me wrong, I don't smoke," the girl clarified as if I had asked, "but I do admire the women who do."

"What does that even mean?"

"I have a thing for tall women," she confessed, and winked at me. When I stared at her in puzzlement, she burst out laughing.

"I'm only teasing you, I'm teasing! God, you should've seen the look on your face."

Giving me another one of her wide smiles, she held out her hand for me to shake.

An offering.

"Nice to meetcha! I'm called Ruse, but I prefer Rue. I have a feeling we're going to be the best of friends."

Little did I know then that this would be the start of another human relationship full of bitter lies and disappointments.

But I supposed that, by this point in my life, I really should not continue to be disappointed by people.

So whose fault was it, really, if not mine--as always?

***

Rue followed me around all the time after that, whether I liked it or not. She was difficult to shake off, and I had grown tired of trying only to be faced with more of her optimism, which was even more annoying.

Truthfully, though, I was acting sulky on the outside, but I kind of liked the feeling of someone wanting my company again, for whatever weird reason. It was hard for me to accept the fact that there must've been a reason for her wanting to do so in the first place. After all, who would?

But if I could let myself live in this lie for just a little longer.

Just until I could feel like a normal human again.

"You should totally come to the party tonight, too, Irina," Rue sang as I closed my locker after shoving my books inside. "Only the hottest seniors are attending, and I heard their numbers are uneven and they need more girls."

"I told you, I'm not like that. I don't like going out."

"But you promised we'd hang out outside of your apartment sometime!"

"I did no such thing."

She pouted and linked her arms with mine. "C'mon. It'll be a nice change of pace. You said so yourself that you've felt stuffy lately--what better than to go out and enjoy the fresh air with new people at a beach bonfire? Doesn't that sound romantic?"

"No. I hate sand. And even if it did, that would be more of a reason for me not to go."

"Such a party pooper!"

I shrugged. "It's not like you didn't know."

It was new, this feeling, yet familiar at the same time. I hated to admit it, but spending time with Rue reminded me of Abel more often than not. Their personalities... they were so similar. It was like their happiness could never be dampened, even by my own exuding darkness. Of course, still different, but at this point in time I was craving familiarity because it gave me a sense of comfort.

Hanging out with Rue also made me nostalgic for Quinn, because my friendship with him had been so effortless, where I could wholly and unapologetically be myself--different from my friendship with Rue. Because she and I were so different, I felt the need to shield her from my toxicity, and I found myself prioritizing her emotions over mine in attempts to eradicate myself. If that made sense.

"True, but there'll be free drinks for freshmen! Isn't that alone good enough of a reason to go? Pretty please, for me?"

I rolled my eyes. Rue was a couple years younger than me; a nerd who graduated high school early with all her scholarships for college. It did strike me as odd that such a person would wind up coming to a local university like here, but I didn't ask--she probably had her own circumstances. Sometimes the age difference bothered me because it made me feel like the need to become an older sister figure, maybe because she and Rose were around the same age bucket.

"Pleaseeeee--"

"God, fine, I'll go! Just stop whining!" I snapped, unable to hide the irritation in my voice. I immediately regretted lashing out.

But Rue just clapped her hands and laughed giddily. "Okay, yay! I'll let them know. This is going to be so much fun! I'm so happy!"

I knew I was going to regret saying yes, but my head was thumping, and I felt the need to do whatever necessary to extract myself from her presence for a little while. Lest I lose my mind.

"See you later, then," I said dismissively, walking away. God, I needed a smoke very badly, but first--coffee. My headache was turning into a migraine, and I needed to appease it very badly; caffeine often helped. I headed towards my favorite vending machine (it was my favorite because it was old and wonky, and sometimes spat out my coin, giving me a free drink). I used to joke with Quinn that whether I'd be able to get a free drink from the machine depended on the amount of good karma I was harnessing on a particular day, and I needed some good karma right about now.

Turns out the world was against me--the machine would just keep spitting out my coin without giving me the canned coffee I wanted. Frustrated, I kicked the damn machine. Why was nothing going right today?

"Finally shook off the mongrel, I see," Heath's smooth voice interjected. He was standing behind me--I knew even without turning around based on the soapy aroma that was permeating from him, damn my sensitive nose.

"What do you want now. I told you before, I don't want people seeing us together and getting the wrong idea."

"Or the right idea." I could hear the hint of a smile in his voice. Sly bastard.

"Shut up. And isn't it kinda rude to call someone 'mongrel'? You don't even know Rue."

Heath shrugged and casually handed me a canned coffee that he pulled out from his work bag. I glared at him but took the drink as he said, "Was that her name?"

"She's in your class, too!"

"I don't recall. In fact, I don't keep tabs on anyone in that class other than you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm honored." I took a swig of the coffee he gave me and felt immediate bliss and relief. Sighing, I closed my eyes. "Thanks for this, I guess. I desperately needed coffee."

He nodded and sipped his own. "I understand the crippling effects of caffeine dependency. Speaking of, your health is still not up to par since the night you passed out--are you sure you should be going out so late at night?"

It took me a moment to understand what he was referring to. "How did you know I'm going out? Were you eavesdropping on us? You creep."

"Not at all. I just happened to be nearby so I could give you the canned coffee... not my fault if neither of you noticed."

"Ugh. Look, I don't even want to go, okay? But I already gave Rue my word, and I'm going. One night out can't hurt. Plus, I'll take some Tylenol later before I head out."

"I still don't approve."

"You don't have the right to approve of my going out."

By this point, despite the tone of our conversation, we had naturally started walking towards his car together. Even though I made a fuss about people at school seeing us together, to be honest I had already given up--by now, people knew that we carpooled to and from school in recent days. I had eventually acquiesced to Heath's offers for a ride because riding public transportation or walking are both equally more tedious, and I needed to save my energy for homework and other bullshit.

"Hmm," was all Heath said as he casually leaned over to buckle me into the front seat.

"I'll be home before curfew," I commented mockingly.

He smirked. "Good girl. You better--unless you want me to punish you."

With those words I turned into a pool of liquid in my car seat. My desire for him flared hotter than ever. Must resist...

As he buckled me in, I felt his warm, addictive breath wash over my face, overwhelming my senses completely; and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

I leaned towards him to impose a peck on his cheek.

[subwaysurf45]

Code Star

Summary: a code word you and Bucky share is used; but it’s not in a good way.

Warning: panic attack, ripping out hair, addiction(little bit)

Words: 2030

Masterlist!

"Agent. Agent. Copy agent?" Friday spoke through the speakers in your room, it was louder than normal and also in the middle of the night which was the reason you woke up with a gasp.

"C-copy," you spat out, you typically sleep with your mouth open, so it gets dry when you first wake.

"Mr. Barns is calling you, he says it's 'code star'." Your stomach dropped, from all the adrenaline from waking up with a scare and the code, you sprinted down the hall way.

-

It was late and you were in the kitchen, you were trying to separate from your sleeping pills because during your last mission you couldn't sleep because you forgot them, you were addicted to them. So you needed to take a step back, learn to fall asleep on your own.

After asking around there was a tea Wanda recommended, it was lavender tea and she said it's the best with honey. You were currently steeping your bag and had honey beside you.

You took the soggy bag out and turned to the compost bin, after dropping it in and turned around you almost slipped because Bucky was right there.

Standing frozen. Dead face. Staring at you.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You yelled, not caring if it woke someone up, "what's wrong with you?" You realized you clutched at your heart through your sweater.

He was on the other side of the island, but he seemed to be leaning over a bit, he looked down at your steaming mug and then back at you.

"I- I was going to say hi and then I liked the smell of your tea and then when you turned I looked up at you, I-I didn't mean to freak you out, that must have been really scary, sorry." He looked down into the cup again. "What is it?" He finally asked.

You let your guard down a bit, "lavender," you never looked away from him, "and honey." That was the most he'd ever said to you since he showed up two months ago, he stayed in his room the first month.

"Nice," he nodded, his metal arm coming up and rubbing the back of his neck.

"There's extra water, I can make you one." You knew he was going to ask for your cup, but you really need to hit the sack.

His face lit up in the dark, "perfect!" He half smiled.

You poured the other cup and steeped the another bag, then added honey as well. You both stayed where you were on either side of the island.

"Why are you up?" He asked while blowing on the tea, his voice was below normal level.

"Just can't sleep," you sigh and look over to the common room, no one was there but you really didn't want to meet his eyes.

"I get that," he spoke awkwardly and looked over as well, thinking you were studying something.

"I'm-...I'm trying to get if sleeping pills my shit therapist prescribed for me," you looked back at him, his eye brows raised and his head tilted forty-five degrees.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh..." he spoke to himself and looked down again, his thumb rubbing the smooth ceramic handle of the blue mug that wasn't his. "I get nightmares." He stated blankly, but he didn't look up at his statement.

"Is it..." you tried to find the right words to not trigger him, "before the war, like America...or later on…in life...?" You danced around the question, Steve had told you mentioning certain things can get Bucky really freaked out.

"My mind," he laughed sarcastically, "it likes to mix the two," he pulled one side of his mouth tight.

"Double-whammy," you whispered, then froze at the sound of a giggle, Bucky chuckled. "What?"

"No-I-I just...I get that reference," he seemed proud, his face seemed to fall quickly though, circling back, "my arm is weird, it's like my human arm but the star," he points to the red, "is like sewn in, I don't know what it means but..." he trialed off.

"Well, if you need help, just call a code star, I'll come to your room and bring you some tea, how about that?" You smile.

"What? Like a friend?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okay," he smiled and nodded, "alright," his fingers drummed on the counter, "I'm gonna take this back to my room, but I'll remember that." He nodded and left, but caught himself at the corner to the rooms, "hey, agent," he spoke normal, you looked, "if you're gonna be my friend, don't ask 'what's wrong with me?', because trust me...I’ll talk you to your grave." He smirked.

“Noted, Sargent.” You’ve never seen him joke with you before, it felt comforting.

-

'Code star' had never been used for its newer purpose before, as the friendship and relationship grew 'code star' became 'code lavender', it happened after Bucky called 'code star' once while he was having a panic attack, you took so long to make the tea he was passed out by the time you showed up.

'Code lavender': make a tea, meet in the kitchen.

'Code star': panic attack, drop everything a come.

You sprinted down the hallway to the very last room, you could hear laboured breathing as you got closer. Typically you'd knock softly and come in quietly, not this time.

You whipped open the door to see Bucky staring slightly down on the edge of his bed, he was rocking back and forth as his fingers ripped and pulled on his long hair. His pupils blew wide and his lips curled causing his teeth to flash, he didn't even look up at you.

A loud bang from your knees hitting the hardwood didn't phase him either, you tired to duck down to meet his line of eye sight but you couldn't get down enough.

"Bucky, look at me!" You pulled his hands out of his hair, as you made him drop them to his side you found a pile of hair outside his thighs, "oh god," you whispered, your hand unlacing with his to pick up the locks, the free hand of his went straight back to tugging. "Don't do that, don't do that." You hushed and took it out again, a tuff came with it. "Bucky, look at me," you said calmer now, you needed to be the example. "Bucky, nod if you can hear me."

He didn't nod, his eyes stayed locked on your chest. They didn't move there, he was already looking there, it was like he was looking through you.

You kept his hands clumped in your right hand and your left hand began to trace around his face, starting at his cheeks that were dry, little circles led to cross the bridge the nose a couple times. You also started humming, a song you heard Bucky and Steve sing once while drunk and having fun.

His eye brows seemed to raise for a second at the tune, but he quickly fell back into his short shallow breathes. You kept going, your finger gently tracing his cleft chin, it was always something you pinched when joking around with him.

"Wake up, Bucky," you whispered after finishing the song, you started the tune again. His breathing seemed to slow a little and his almost black eyes moved around a bit, "there you go," you cupped his cheek, now just shifting your thumb back and forth. You didn't know if he'd start to pull his hair out again so you kept both the metal and flesh hand covered with your left.

His breathing went to normal, his rib cage expanding wide as he took voluntary breathes. His eyes were shut tight but you felt him lean into your hand that was still holding his cheek.

"Are you with me?" You asked softly, he leaned into your hand again, his hand slowly made it up to his face and he placed his hand over yours, gently guiding it down to his lips; his kisses to your palm were long and filled with their own language.

"I'm here," his voice cut out and became a breath, but you heard him. His eyes looked up before his head moved, he locked eyes with you and something changed.

It was like he was seeing you for the first time, eyes a little wide and confused; but knowing at the same time. They became misty the more he looked, he was never one to cry so he dropped his head to cover the tears.

"It's okay," you hushed, he dropped your hand and leaned forward, basically throwing his entire body weight onto you. You fell back to the floor and he cried in your chest, you saw some of his hair fall with him. "Let it out," your arms wrapped around him and began to rub all along his back, huge, gentle, soothing rubs.

"I-I killed you all," his voice sounded like a dog panting from his short breathes that came when he talked, "I- couldn't s-stop," his 's' slithered like snakes as he tries get sufficient air and talk.

"We're all here, just a dream." It was the same mantra, "we're all here, you're safe, it was a nightmare, you're out of it now. There you go, big breathes, you're doing great, you're a pro at this, keep breathing." You let the broken record play, he seemed to get smaller at every praise.

He sat up and leaned against the bed, Bucky pulled his sleeve around his fist to hold it tight. When he wiped his face it was aggressive, like he was mad at himself. He just stared at you like he always did, you were alway involved in his dreams so he needed to look at you to stay grounded.

"Sorry," his 's' still slurred, "I-...I'm sorry," he wanted to say something else, you could hear it in his tone. His head dropped, Bucky almost fell over at the sight of his hair, "did I do that?" He asked, his nose turned up.

All you did was nod, any verbal answer would've sounded almost grossed out or accusatory. He sighed and looked between the hair and you, he wanted to say something, he'd already stopped himself once.

"Tell me," you whispered.

"I want to cut my hair," Bucky responded softly, "I-I also want to sleep on the floor from now own." He seemed ashamed of the second ask.

"You like the cold?" You tried to figure him out.

"That and it's...comforting...I think," Bucky scratched his head, his metal hand slowing at the thin spot from tugging, "it just grounds me, I'm not used to fluffy things- nicer things."

"How about a mattress pad, you're back will scream at you in the morning." You tried to lighten the mood, he smiled a bit and then nodded. "How about you come sleep in my room tonight, just so I can keep an eye on you and if you want to sleep on my firm mattress you can hop on, how's that?" You stood and held your hand out, Bucky nodded and clapped his metal hand to yours.

You led him down the hallway and to your room, it was really quiet and almost off putting. You slept barefoot so the sound of soft footsteps from your feet was the only thing you heard, Bucky wore socks.

He went straight to your bed and felt the mattress, both hands pressing down on it to see the give it has. You felt a little happy when he was nodding in a positive way; his bottom lip also pouted out.

Bucky slipped in and you joined as well, he stayed still for a while, on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Y'know, you can cuddle," you whispered, without another second to blink Bucky's face rested on your chest, his arm circled your body completely in a tight hug. Your hands found their way to his back and to his hair, softly lulling him to sleep, "I'll cut your hair in the morning."

"Love you," he murmured.

[likeastarstar]

4:10 PM- Namjoon

You woke up from your nap because of the heat, the humidity stirring you from the dream you had been having. Just a normal dream, nothing out of the ordinary. A good dream- you hadn't had a nightmare since Namjoon had busted into your room one night with his laptop, declaring it was time for a vacation.

Before that, things had gotten a little...stressful. Life was hard, being an adult was harder. The first thing to go when you were stressed out was your sleep, starting with nightmares and ending with insomnia. Joon hadn't said much but noticed when your side of the bed was more messed up than normal, a clear sign that you had spent the night tossing and turning instead of in his arms.

Pushing up from the bed, you looked around the room for your boyfriend, only finding a disarray of clothes littering around the space instead. You had been here for a week, staying in a floating hut on the river bank of a small town in Thailand. It was private and secluded, you only saw spoke to other people when you went into the town a little ways down the beach.

You padded out of the hut, pushing the netting that served as a bedroom wall to go out to the edge of the hut, sitting down so your feet dipped into the water. The sun was just setting, but God, it must've been over a hundred degrees with this humidity. The water was cooler, so you pulled the shirt you had off and dove in, dunking your head in the practically clear water to prevent yourself from overheating.

"You're going to get eaten alive by mosquitoes if you stay out here for too long."

You swam back to the edge of the hut, your eyes falling on a familiar tall, tanned man with his hair cropped short after he decided it was too hot to have hair anymore and made you buzz it off. He had a water bottle dangling in one hand, the other shoved lazily in his pocket. Thailand Namjoon was your favorite version so far, abandoning button downs and formal pants in favor for shorts and a short sleeved button down shirt, the top four buttons undone completely.

"You're back," You said cheerily, reaching out a hand. He took it willingly, stroking the top of your hand with his thumb. "So what? Was it a bust?" You asked, referencing the reason he left in the first place.

"No, I got some writing done." he said happily, reaching for a towel for me. "You aren't wearing a swimsuit again, are you?"

You grinned and shook your head, pulling yourself out of the water unabashedly. Namjoon raised his eyebrows and skimmed his eyes over your body, a smirk settling onto his face. "You're very frisky tonight." He commented.

You pushed the towel away and stepped closer to him, flattening your body against his. "You knew the deal," You whispered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and ran another through his hair, raking over it with your damp fingers. You didn't bother caring about being dripping wet, it wasn't like he was going to have clothes on for very much longer anyway.

He grinned, obviously knowing what you were referring to. You had made a deal, he would spend the day writing but when he came back- you owned him and his time. You had something important you wanted to talk to him about and you wanted his undivided attention for it. "Let's talk about this where the neighbors can't see your ass," he grumbled, wrapping you in the towel and lifting you back to the bedroom.

He set you down on the bed, watching you push the hair off your shoulders and adjust your towel delicately. "I'm ready," You said, looking up at him. Namjoon didn't say a word, searching your facial expression for a shred of doubt he wouldn't see.

"What if you regret it?" He asked sadly, looking down at his hands twisting themselves into a knot. You took his hand in yours and unwound his fingers, wishing he'd stop saying that.

"You're part of my soul, Joon. I want to marry you." You kissed him quickly, to reassure him. You wanted him and to be tethered to him in every earthly way was the only thing on your mind ever since he had brought the idea up conversationally three months ago. You had been so stressed out it had caused a panic attack initially- not because the answer was no, but because the idea of getting married was so overwhelming it was a lot to take in at the moment. You mind immediately went to how much change would be happening, skipping over Namjoon completely.

Not your finest moment.

"I want to marry you too," He smiled, his dimples melting your heart as they always did. "And we can do it our way, it can just be us and our parents, if you want."

You nodded and he mirrored your motion, and that was that. You were going to get married.

"We'll do it our way," I mumbled, looking up at him just before Namjoon cupped your face in his free hand and kissed you urgently, leaning into your body. You felt him push the towel down and off of you, resting a hand between your shoulder blades, and using it as a guide to lay you down on the bed. The place where he touched you tingled slightly, you head spinning like it always did when he kissed you.

"I can't wait to be your husband," He whispered to you, hovering above you slightly with his arms caging you in. You felt safe with him, anxiety soothed. Sure, there would be times were you'd be stressed out and scared and probably would freak out at some point- but at least you had him. You'd always have him.

masterlist.

(A/N: whimpers)

[make-me-imagine]

Sensory Prompts: ‘Frozen in fear’, ‘Feeling of warm blood on your hands’ + ‘Lying in a hospital bed and wanting to call out but you can’t’.

Requested by: Anon (first two prompts) and @spuffyfan394​ (third prompt; requested 2 years ago lmao yikes). 

Pairing: Spike x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: Fighting, choking, injuries, and blood

Words: 1,922

As you walked softly down the hall, you listened intently for any noise as your hand remained tightly gripped around your weapon. Yet another demon came to Sunnydale, and you tracked it to this old broken down factory. 

You had been split up from Buffy and the others when you went chasing the demon and now you were alone, much to your dismay. Not that you couldn’t fight well, but this demon had a magic that could amplify your fear to the point were you’d become parallelized. That’s how they get their victims. But they seem to only be able to do it to one person at a time, hence why you were in a group, and why you were so cautious now that you were alone. 

Pausing as you heard creaking footsteps in the adjacent room, you felt our heart begin to quicken in pace. You prepared yourself to fight just as the figure came around the corner. 

Quickly ducking down, you swung your leg out, taking the figure by surprise and knocking it on its back before you threw yourself on top of them, raising your arm to attack with your weapon but stopping when your eyes landed on the face of the figure. 

“Spike?” you asked incredulously as he groaned from your attack.

“What the bloody hell was that?!” he asked as he stared up at you.

“What are you doing here?” you asked lowering your voice. Spike had stayed behind when all of you came to hunt the demon, he insisted none of you knew what you were getting into. 

“I came to make sure you didn’t get yourself killed.” he said as he sat up on his elbows before his eyes grazed up and down your figure “Not that I’m not enjoying this particular position, but you are crushing my legs.”

You glanced down at your self, seeing you were mounted over his upper thighs. Feeling a blush come to your face you quickly got up “I was doing fine by the way, but now you jinxed me.” you said in annoyance from his comment.

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes as he got up, brushing off the dirt from his pants “What the hell are you doing walking around alone, you know that is exactly what you should not be doing.” 

You sighed “I got separated from the others when he were chasing the demon. But look-” you gestured to him with a smile “I’m not alone now.”

He rolled his eyes again as he walked past you “Let’s just go find the others.” 

You began to follow him, smile on your face as you thought about why he came “I knew you had a soft spot for me.” you said while catching up to him. Spike remained silent and he avoided looking at you, only making your smile widen. 

As you entered into a large open space in the factory, moonlight from outside shining down from the broken up roof, you saw Buffy, Xander and Willow on the other side. You raised your hand in greeting as the three of them looked relieved to see you, but confused to see Spike. As you began to meet in the middle of the room, you all jumped in surprise as a large roar echoed through the room as the demon jumped down from somewhere above, nearly landing on Buffy and managing to knock her down. 

“Buffy!” you yelled as you ran to her aid, jumping on the demons back and stabbing the weapon into it’s back. As it roared in pain, lunging backwards, knocking you to the ground and spinning around, you flinched as it moved towards you, only for Spike to jump in front of you and attack the demon. 

Buffy and you got up at the same time as you moved to help Spike just as he was thrown a few feet away. You halted in your step as you felt an overwhelming sense of terror fill your body as the demon pointed at you, it’s eyes beginning to glow as it used it’s powers on you. 

Your heart was hammering in your chest so heavily you thought it might burst. Dizziness started to take hold as you could hear the muffled sound of the other’s voices as they began fighting the demon. Your eyes managed to focus on what was happening, though your body was still frozen in fear. You saw Willow and Xander thrown back, as Buffy continued to try and fight the demon.

Spike appeared in front of you as he gripped your shoulders “Y/n, Y/n, look at me!” his voice seemed to be far away but you tried to focus on him as he began to shake you lightly. 

“Spike” your voice came out quiet, almost squeaky “I can’t move” you muttered out as your chest began to feel heavier the longer the demons magic had a hold on you. 

Spike growled under his breath as the fear in your eyes remained, taking the weapon from your hand he turned towards the demon but was surprised that the demon was right in front of him. He moved to stab the demon but the demon wrapped his hand around Spikes throat and lifted him off the ground. 

You suddenly began to feel your paralysis lift as you saw what was happening. Spike was struggling against the demon, and you began to come back to reality as the fear of dying was replaced by your fear for Spike’s life. 

As you watched the demon lift his hand, now holding a broken peace of wooden plank, you realized that he was about to stab Spike in the heart. The fear holding you back suddenly seemed to shatter as you were able to move as you lunged forward grabbing Spikes waist and yanking down as hard as you could. 

Catching both Spike and the demon by surprise, the demons grip loosened as you managed to pull Spike away, just as he was moving to stab him. As Spike fell to the ground, and you began to fall on top of him, he watched in horror as the demon continued to plunge it’s arm down. Your eyes widened in shock and pain as the wooden steak was plunged into your back. 

“No!” Spike yelled out as he reached forward as you fell forward. Spike’s eyes stayed on the demon as it arched back and howled out in pain as Buffy struck it through it’s own heart with her weapon. 

As the demon collapsed, Buffy saw what happened as Spike held you in his arms, her attention leaving the now dying demon as she ran towards you, Willow and Xander doing the same. 

Your breath was uneven as your head rested on Spikes shoulder. Spike lifted his hands from your back, seeing and feeling the warm red blood from the wound on his hands. 

“Y/n, hold on!” you heard Willow’s voice as you began to grow weaker, your body becoming limp as you felt exhaustion take over and your vision began to fade. 

- - -

“Y/n!” 

Your eyes bolted open as the memory of someone calling your name woke you from your unconscious state. Your panic began to fade as you realized you were lying in a bed in what appeared to be a hospital room. Your body was sore as and your head was aching. Your eye were heavy as you looked towards the door. You could hear the muffled sound of people talking in the hall outside your room. Opening your mouth to call out, but you couldn’t. You seemed to have no strength to do so as your eyes continued to grow heavier and heavier. 

Seeing something from the corner of your eye, your eyes begin t focus on a figure that comes from the corner of the room. Your vision was blurry, but you could recognize the bright blonde hair of the figure as his face appeared in front of yours. You could hear him speaking but couldn’t focus on his words as your eyes closed yet again and you felt into a deep sleep. 

“Y/n, y/n” Spike said softly as he watched you struggled for consciousness, only for you to lose as close your eyes again. He sighed as he took your hand in his. This was the first time you had woken up, even if it was only for a moment, he was glad you did, it gave him hope. He had not left your side since they brought you here, near-death three days prior. 

As he walked back over to the window, staring out at the night sky, he re-played what happened in his head again. Especially the moment you were stabbed, after having saved him. Looking back at you he smiled sadly “I guess I really did jinx you huh?” he whispered before leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. 

- - -

Your eyes opened gradually again, as the dim room came into focus. Looking around the room, your eyes land on a figure in the window, silhouetted by the dimming light of the sunset. 

“Spike” your voice was quiet, but loud enough for him to hear as his head snapped in your direction. 

He smiled as he met your tired eyes, quickly making his way over to you and sitting on the edge of the bed. “Took you long enough.”

You smiled up at him, taking it you must have been out for a while since the fight with the demon. “Are you okay?” 

He scoffed “You’re lying in a hospital bed and you’re asking me if I’m okay?” 

You let out a soft laugh “Force of habit.”

He shook his head lightly as he took your hand in his “I’m sorry I jinxed you.” 

You frowned slightly in confusion before you remembered what you said in the factory. Shaking your head you smiled lightly “Don’t be. I’m fine, see.” you said as you lightly gestured to yourself. 

He rose a single brow as he sighed in mild amusement “I went there to save you, and you ended up saving me.” 

“Hey, that just makes us even then.” you said in reference to a time in the past when he had saved you from a vampire. Your eyes moved to the window as it began to get brighter “When did you get here?” 

Spike looked to the window as the sky began to grow darker “I never left.” he said as he looked back at you, nodding his head to the window “Black out curtains, just used those. Though one of the nurses almost killed me when she tried to open them today.” he said with an amused tone. 

“You never left? How long have I been here?” 

“Uh, a..few days..give or take.” he said dismissively, trying to ignore the heat rising up his neck. 

Your smile grew “See? I knew you had a soft spot for me.” 

He rolled his eyes and smiled, trying to think up some snarky flirty comment before letting out a small sigh and looking back at you “No. I’ve got much more than a soft spot for you.” Bringing his hand to your face, he stroked the side of your face before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“Took you long enough.” you said amused as he let out a dry laugh. 

“Oh shut up” he joked before pressing a kiss to your lips, knowing full well it took him way to long to finally admit how he felt. 

xx End xx

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[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

pls do part two of “you're everything you once hated” 🥺

Alright! I originally wasn’t going to do a Part 2 of this but a few people have asked so here you go! 😙

You’re Everything You Once Hated | Suguru Niragi

PART 1 | PART 2

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

{Main Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. OC, Ann, Tatta, Hatter, Kuina)

Summary: You attempt to escape Niragi to replenish your visa by yourself, but he catches you and makes sure you won’t do it again

Warnings: (okay here we go) blood, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, obsessive themes, suggestive themes, graphic violence/torture, needles, being held hostage, deranged behaviour, reader is traumatised, implications of a panic attack, dehumanisation (kind of?), mention of amputation, mention of suicide, guns, knives, reader sees a corpse, minor character death

Word Count: 4.6k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: this is quite heavy and messed up, so I recommend people under 15 don’t read this

The young man leant against the large building, holding a small rose in his sweaty palms as he waited for you to arrive from your after school class. He winced as the thorns slightly caught on his olive skin. He sighed and craned his neck back to rest on the wall behind him. No matter how much he attempted to distract himself, the rate his heart was beating kept bringing the nausea to his stomach.

The sky was painted a soft mix of orange and pink as the sun began to fall asleep below the horizon. Valentine’s Day couldn’t have created a more romantic atmosphere for Niragi, he couldn’t mess it up now or he would let cupid down himself.

“What the hell am I even doing?” he questioned himself, wiping his brow with the back of his wrist. “She probably doesn’t even see me this way. We’ve been best friends for years, if she felt something she would’ve told me by now, right?”

He was stressing himself out, continuing the doubt whether his idea was good or not. He was considering dropping the rose and just walking away, being too afraid of the reality that he had been in love with you for years and had never been able to voice it. He felt embarrassed about himself, making his head fill with insecurities and doubts.

His phone vibrating in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts. Niragi reached into his blazer and pulled out his device, noticing a text from you.

‘I’m on my way,’ it read.

He heard your footsteps around the corner and straightened himself up, letting out a sigh to relieve tension. He knew there was no going back now, so he had no choice but to go ahead with his confession.

Just as he was about to turn the corner to meet you, he noticed a male voice that echoed yours, making him freeze in his tracks. He kept himself pushed against the wall, trying to listen to what you were saying.

“I mean, movies are cheap at the moment. Do you want to go see one together?” Niragi heard the boy say. His heart sank at the males words and his hand holding the rose fell from his chest to drooping towards the ground.

Your voice, that was all too familiar to Niragi, answered him. “Sure! I’m busy this afternoon, but I’m free this weekend on Saturday.”

Saturday. Niragi frowned. You and him always went to the park together every Saturday to have a picnic together. You wouldn’t forget about that, would you?

His disappointment turned into anger suddenly. The exhilarating emotions filled his mind and heart so quickly, it took him off guard. As his hand twitched slightly, he shook his head to remove the thoughts from his head.

“Okay, I’ll send you a text later to talk about times and stuff,” the boy said. Niragi’s curiosity got the best of him and he peeked his head around the side of the building to catch a glance of who you were with. He wished he didn’t.

It was one of the young kids that picked on him in Science class, which you weren’t in. Niragi felt betrayed, but tried to reassure himself that you just didn’t know what this guy was really like.

“Bye Y/N,” the boy muttered shyly, making Niragi fume at his fake behaviour. ‘He obviously is just trying to get in her pants,’ Niragi thought to himself, jaw clenching in annoyance at your blindness.

The boy leaned close to you and left a soft kiss on your forehead making you smile and wave happily as he walked away. As soon as he disappeared up the stairs a few metres up, Niragi leant back so you couldn’t see him.

He felt tears building in his eyes, so he quickly wiped them away before you found him. He jumped as he saw you turn the corner, hiding the rose he held behind his back.

“Hey Niragi!” you exclaimed, having the same gorgeous smile that you always conveyed around him. Usually the small action would make him melt into the ground. But at that moment, he didn’t think anything you did could make him feel better.

“You okay?” you asked, leaning close to his face with your eyebrows raised. His heart beat picked up, noticing how your lips were only a few inches away from his. He turned his face to the side, hiding his blush. “Yeah, I’m just tired,” he lied through his teeth.

As he kept up his innocent façade, small droplets of blood slowly drizzled down his wrist from the tight fist enveloping the thorned rose. His confined anger flowed through the blood that spilled from the cuts in his palm, but he didn’t feel a pinch of pain through his tensed muscles.

Perhaps one day, the world would give him another chance to show his love for you.

***************

You woke with a start as someone busted through the door of the room, looking around in a panic at who would enter so suddenly. Your eyes widened as you caught sight of Niragi, stumbling into the room with his usual sniper rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Sorry love, did I wake you?”

You stayed silent, sitting up properly and watching his movements closely. You didn’t trust a single thing he did or said, so you still remained on high alert whenever he was in this room alone with you, despite the fact you had been sharing the room with him for three days.

“You getting hungry? I brought some food up last night for you while you were asleep,” he said, placing his rifle on a small table. You watched as it collided with the wooden surface, flinching at the loud noise.

You hadn’t been able to leave the room since your injury. You had been shot in the foot by an overly sensitive militant woman who you weren’t even sure was still alive after the beating Niragi gave her in front of you. His behaviour during that time alone was enough to you terrified, especially the fact that it is impossible to run from him now.

But the lack of movement on your foot has proven to help and you have noticed the bullet wound healing quite well. The ointment and bandages you apply regularly on it (no help from Niragi) has been working perfectly, and you were praying for the moment you could move your stuff back to your own room and escape Niragi’s unpredictable and psychotic behaviour around you.

As if he read your mind, Niragi spoke up. “How’s your foot? Is it getting better?”

The sweet tone in his voice was so contradictory to his intentions. You hated the fact that he thought you fell for his fake façade. To be honest, he probably knew you didn’t believe him, but continued with it to keep you on your toes.

You glared at him through the top of your eyelids, keeping your head low in suspicion. As Niragi sighed from your unresponsive behaviour, he strutted over towards the bed that you were laying on. You panicked and used your arms to push yourself away from him, being terrified of his presence alone. Spending only a few days with him was enough to make you realise how despicable of a human being he actually was.

“Shh, calm down. It’s just me,” he attempted to calm you.

You froze as he sat on the bed nearby your legs. A pained expression grew on your face as he slowly lifted your injured foot to place it gently on his lap, running his hand carefully over the bandage you had applied before going to sleep.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, glancing up at you. You shook your head no, watching as he smirked slightly and turned back to it.

“I’m going to have a look at it,” he demanded, beginning to unravel the bandage on your foot.

You remained still, watching as he was unusually careful. It made your adrenaline run rapid, not knowing when he was going to suddenly snap.

As he pulled the final layer off your foot, relief filled you when you saw that it was still fine. The injury had turned into a small hole in the top of your foot, no blood or redness in sight. Maybe perhaps you could walk again soon, and be able to replenish your visa that was due to end in a few days.

Unfortunately, Niragi wasn’t as happy about this knowledge, and he intended to do something about it.

“Hmm,” he hummed in thought, leaning over to the night stand and picking up a small unwashed needle that he had kept there. It was left there by Ann a few days ago, as she had to come to the room to stitch up a cut that Niragi had obtained during a game.

Your eyes widened at the sight of him holding the needle close to your bullet wound. “W-Wait, Niragi,” you stuttered, nervous about his intentions. “What are you doing?”

Niragi glanced up at you, a devilish smirk painted across his face. His expression made your stomach churn and you attempted to pull your leg from his grip. Your heart rate picked up and you began to panic when he refused to let go.

“Don’t worry, this won’t hurt much. Just... try not to scream.”

Just as you were about to protest, Niragi pinned your foot onto his lap and pushed the tip of the needle as hard as he could into your bullet wound, making you let out a silent scream and thrash in his hold.

You screamed and screamed and screamed, a horrific pain continuously shot through your foot to your leg. You swore at some point it felt like he was cutting your foot off.

“NIRAGI!” you wailed. “STOP! PLEASE!”

You begged and begged through your cries of pain. After what felt like a century, Niragi pulled the needle out of your foot slowly and placed his hand over the wound to attempt to stop the bleeding. You were now lying on your back, sobbing lightly into the sheets and given up.

You felt Niragi caress your face with the back on his hand lightly. “My little princess needs to stay here, where I can keep her safe. You can’t leave. There’s horrible monsters at The Beach and I would hate for you to fall prey to one of them.”

You felt like screaming at him. How could he be so blind, so ignorant. He was the monster, and he failed to realise it.

He placed your leg off his lap, making you let out a small cry. Niragi crawled further up the bed next to you and sat on the sheets. You were facing away from him, not even daring to turn to look at him. You could hear him unbuttoning his checkered shirt, seeing it fly over your frame and land on the floor. A shiver made its way up your spine as Niragi’s hot breath hit the nape of your neck and his warm limbs snaked around your torso. He placed his hands underneath your shirt and softly caressed the skin of your stomach whilst nipping at the skin on your neck.

“You’re so pretty. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you over these years.”

His words sounded so loving, so sweet. But your reaction was the opposite of what he wanted. A slow, sorrowful tear traveled down your face and you began shaking in his embrace in fear of having him so close. You wanted to close your eyes and wake up back home, back in your own bed with your family’s hushed conversations spread throughout the house. This wasn’t home, this was absolute hell.

“Why are you shaking? Are you cold?” your tormentor asked. He removed his hands from underneath your shirt and pulled on your shoulders to make you turn over to face him. You kept your eyes shut tight, refusing to submit to his demands.

He pulled you close once again and placed his hand on the back of your head to push your face into his bare chest. Niragi’s usual smell of blood and metal filled your nostrils, making you grimace against him.

You continued to shake, not being able to control your movements. Niragi sighed, tucking his chin on the top of your head and nuzzling into your hair, taking a breath of the all too familiar scent of the shampoo you’ve always used for your hair. How you managed to find the exact one in the Borderland was beyond his understanding.

The smell made him feel at home. The comfort he found in you was too strong for him to handle, making him become deranged at the thought of you being back in his arms. It scared him, how much he actually depended on you to keep him happy.

And while he continued to hold you close and smile happily at the feeling of your soft breath against his chest, he failed to notice the continuous flow of tears that cascaded down your face and the shaking of your hands that gripped the top of your own thighs violently, trying to realise the tension of the adrenaline in your veins.

************

You had had enough.

Niragi did nothing but put you through absolute torture and trauma no matter how much you attempted to reason with his psychotic self. Bruises littered your body from his usual violence, committing to the awful promise that he was going to make sure you couldn’t leave the room.

You were imprisoned. It felt as if you were trapped in a cage that had the easiest lock in the world to pick, only you didn’t have hands to unlock it.

So two days after the needle incident, you decided you were going to escape, even if it killed you.

You had to replenish your visa, considering it ended the next night. You feared that Niragi would just leave you to die, not caring about your visa, so you had to take it upon yourself.

You may have had an infected bullet wound and a nearly crushed spirit, but you weren’t going to let this be your end. You had to at least try.

*************

“Oi, I’m leaving now,”

You shifted your eyes from your hands resting in your lap to the tall, deranged man who stood at the door of your room. He had his usual black and white buttoned shirt on, charcoal hair tied up at the top to keep it out of his face and his relaxed hand tucked into the pockets of his dark jeans. You almost felt disappointed. How could such a handsome man be wasted by such a horrific mentality.

He carried his loaded sniper rifle in his arm, fiddling with the trigger as he awaited an answer from you.

You nodded your head and turned back to your hands, twiddling your thumbs nervously. You stayed frozen as you heard his footsteps make their way over to you.

Niragi lifted your chin with a harsh grip to your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. You closed your eyes tightly in discomfort, feeling his desperate lips bite over yours hungrily. It made you feel sick to your stomach.

He pulled away, your lips connected by a string of saliva, making him chuckle. “I’ll be back kitten. Maybe I’ll bring you back a present,” he suggested, raising his eyebrows.

You nodded once again. You knew what he meant. Perhaps an amputated hand of one of your friends? Or the eye of a seeker/hunter to remind you of the “monsters” he’s hiding you from? At this point, you were desensitised to it.

The feeling on his lips on your head brought you from your thoughts. He softly stroked his hand through your hair, tucking slightly on the ends, making you wince.

“Stay here, and don’t answer the door if someone knocks.”

And with that, he left. You stayed completely still for a few minutes, waiting in case he decided to come back just to torment you further.

After you were sure he was completely gone, you shifted to the edge of the bed and swung your legs over the edge to stand up. You had practised walking around the room on your injured foot for the past few days when Niragi wasn’t there, so you had grown used to the random aches that shot up your leg from your bullet wound while walking.

You waddled to the door, slowly swinging it open and grabbing the small knife that sat on the table nearby. You had to have some kind of weapon in case something was to happen.

As you stepped outside, a few people were still making their way down the halls towards the lobby. You noticed a young man that you had somewhat befriended when you first arrived at The Beach named Tatta. He stopped in his tracks when he saw you, a smile growing on his face.

“Y/N! Where have you been?!” he exclaimed excitedly, running to you and throwing his arms around you in a playful embrace. You grimaced at his loud voice, being afraid of a certain someone potentially hearing him say your name.

“Hey Tatta,” you said back, giving him a right hug. You swore you felt like you could’ve cried in his arms from how deprived you were from normal human interaction without the fear of being assaulted.

“Are you coming to the games tonight?” he asked, pulling back from the hug and keeping a hand on your shoulder. You nodded. “Can I stick with you?” you asked with hope in your eyes. Tatta smiled and hit your arm lightly. “Of course! I’d feel better going with someone I knew.”

You agreed and began walking down the hall towards the lobby together in a comfortable. Tatta failed to notice you being more cautious, checking around corners before you turned and whipping your head around to glance behind you every now and then.

************

Just your luck, a ten of spades. You swore the world just wanted you dead. At that point, you had become used to the never-ending bullshit that was thrown your way.

You clawed your way to the table that held the card. Holding the single piece of cardboard between your fingers had never felt more satisfying. You slid down against the wall near the registration area, limbs shaking from the muscle strain you faced during the game. Tatta knelt in front of you, rubbing your knee in an attempt to comfort you, but nothing he could do would make you feel better.

Back at The Beach, you sat in the lobby on one of the leather couches, rubbing your foot to try and ease the aching pain coming from your wound. You had heard when you arrived back that the executives had called a meeting, so you weren’t too worried about running into Niragi.

You closed your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest, rolling your head back to rest against the couch. Moments like that were complete bliss. For a moment, you were able to forget your current situation.

A sudden hand on your shoulder ripped you from your meditation, and you turned your head to see none other than Kuina with a red face and heavily breathing from running. “Hey Y/N,” she started. You sat up and turned around fully to face you.

“The executives want you in the meeting. They heard you collected a high number card and they need you to deliver it.”

Your heart dropped at her words, realising what was coming for you. You had to walk into that meeting room, where Niragi stood. He was going to find out about your little adventure you had without him knowing. Adrenaline filled your senses from the thought of what he was going to do to you.

You slowly stood up, wiping your sweaty hands on your shorts and checking your card was still in the front pocket. You gulped heavily and nodded to Kuina. “Okay, I’ll head there now.”

Every step towards the meeting room was another towards hell. The more stairs you climbed, the more nausea filled your stomach, the more thoughts filled your head. You were seriously just considering throwing yourself off the roof of the hotel, as that seemed like a better option than facing Niragi.

You arrived in front of the double doors, freezing in your path. You don’t know how long you stood there, sighing shakily and attempting to crack your knuckles to relieve tension. But still, as you lifted your hand to push on the large wooden door, your arm shook like a leaf.

You trudged in, hearing the room fall silent at your entry. You refused to look up from the ground, keeping your widened eyes locked to the carpeted ground until you reached the end of the table.

“Ah, Y/N. Finally! Care to show your card?” you heard Hatter ask. You glanced up and caught sight of all the executives gathered around the table on chairs. One of which was of course Niragi.

You locked eyes with the psychotic man, and your stomach dropped when you saw the scowl on his face. He was staring directly into your soul, eyes hardened with anger and unforgiveness. If looks could kill, you would’ve been on the floor dead before you even made it to the table.

You focused on the task at hand and pulled the card from your pocket, placing the somewhat damaged ten of spades on the table. Hatter reached over and held it close to his face to examine it as everyone watched. Well, everyone except Niragi, who held his piercing gaze on you. You swore you could feel him burning holes through your skin.

“Hmm,” Hatter hummed in approval. “Thank you very much Y/N, that will be all,” he said, making a shooing movement towards you.

You nodded and thanked him before quickly walking out of the room. As soon as you stepped out, you broke into a sprint towards you and Niragi’s shared room.

You had to leave the room before the meeting finished. You feared the absolute worse.

When you arrived at the room, you ripped open the door and scrambled inside, groaning at the pain your foot was in. You didn’t have a choice, you had to hurry.

You made your way to the large closet, immediately reaching for the top shelf to pull down the miniature machine gun that Niragi stored up there as a spare. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to know about it, but you managed to spot him tucking it underneath the clothes at some point.

As you were shuffling around the cupboard trying to find some bullets desperately, annoyed and stressed sighs and gasps leaving your mouth, you froze when the sound of the door opening hit your ears. Immediately assuming the worst, you grabbed the door of the cupboard and closed yourself inside, attempting to enveloped yourself in the piles of clothes and resources.

The keyhole in the door of the cupboard allowed you to have a small space to look through. You closed one eye and glanced through the hole, spotting Niragi placing his sniper rifle on the bed and untying his hair, running his hands through it in stress.

You didn’t dare even breath, keeping all your limbs tucked close so you didn’t knock over anything. You were so afraid that Niragi would even hear the sound of your heart beating, as it was as loud as a drum in your own ears.

You grimaced as a sudden putrid smell filled your nose. The smell of fresh flesh that you were all too familiar with from living in the Borderland. You turned around in the cupboard and moved to the side so the light of the keyhole would at least somewhat illuminate the small space. The sight in front of you was enough to make you throw up.

There sat Tatta (or at least, Tatta’s remains), empty eyed and leaning against the back of the cupboard. Bullet holes littered his once kind face, probably counting eight at least. You covered your mouth in horror, letting out a loud cry at the sight, pushing your legs against the ground to scramble away from your dead friend.

Once again, just like the other day during the needle incident, you screamed and screamed and screamed. You fell backwards out of the closet, curling into a small ball and screeching into your palm in horror at the now clearer sight of your friend’s corpse. 

Everything was crumbling around you. Your voice was being ripped to shreds at the back of your throat. Your mind was falling apart, not being able to handle the traumatising events that you’ve faced, breaking and tearing itself apart. Your body was broken. Bruises and scars scattered your frame like an artwork, each one holding a connected traumatic event.

Niragi sat on the bed, watching as you screamed on the ground over by the corner of the room, tears sliding down his tanned cheeks.

What had happened to you? Why did you change so much in these few years?

Niragi slowly stood and made his way over to your shaking frame, hooking his arms underneath your shoulders and knees to lift you bridle style. He smiled sadly down at your shivering frame, not being able to control your rapid movements.

“Aw baby, you’re a mess,” he cried, a sob escaping his mouth halfway through his sentence.

He brought you back over to the bed, crawling on his knees to the centre of the mattress and crossing his legs to lay you in his lap with your head tucked into the crook of his elbow.

He brushed your hair with his fingers, trying to ease your breathing as you kept your eyes tightly shut in fear. “I tried to warn you. Look what happened,” he chuckled through his tears, motioning his head over towards the cupboard. “Do you like your present? I saw you walking with him on your way back to the hotel and thought it would be perfect. Why don’t you like it?”

You opened your eyes and looked up at him with fear all written all over your face. You didn’t dare move from his embrace, being too afraid.

Niragi smiled as he caught sight of your glistening eyes, reaching a hand up and stroking his thumb along your cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he breathed out, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

You brought your shaking hands up and rubbed your face before finally speaking up. “I want to go home,” you desperately whispered, turning your head and pressing your face against Niragi’s clothed chest. He watched as you brought your hand up and gripped the material of his shirt in your fist tightly, conveying anger and stress through your grip.

“You are home kitten,” he states, rubbing his cheek against your head. “I’m your home. I always have been.”

He wasn’t lying to you, and that was the pill that was hard to swallow. Niragi had been your source of comfort for so long, and for once in your life, it felt foreign to lay in his arms and to look into his night eyes.

Oh how weird it felt to look at something that conveyed such sweetness, such delicacy and such empathy, only for it to be utterly ruined by its environment.

You’d like to think that it wasn’t either of your faults. But in the end, it doesn’t depend on the environment, it depends on how you react to it.

Neither of you were perfect, but you were both incredibly different. It never would’ve worked between the two of you, and being in the Borderland did nothing but strengthen that fact. In the end, your differences would either tear you apart from each other emotionally, or you would tear each other apart limb from limb.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’m back to finishing off the fanfic requests that have been sent to me because I finished all the prompt scenarios. I won’t be doing another part to this because I honestly struggled for so long trying to figure out a plot for this one 😭 But anyway thanks so much for your patience. I’ll be uploading these fanfics as quick as I can! ❤❤

Small addition to this fanfic talking about Niragi’s motives and intentions

[all-about-seggs]

A Fine Specimen-

Rating : 18+, Mature, Yandere-verse

Pairing : Gojo Satoru x female reader.

Word count : 2.3k

Warning's : Dark themes, Yandere behaviour, non-con, drugging, cunnilingus, fingering, choking, vaginal sex.

The lights on the low run down ceiling kept flickering, as you try your best to pull yourself out of your trance. The room was dark except for the surgical lights pointed straight on your figure, it seemed like an abandoned operation theatre, or atleast it should be, considering its dingy state. Every effort of looking around and trying to make sense of your current predicament has been futile, even staying level headed in this strange place was a constant struggle.

Your entire body felt heavy despite the fact that you didn’t even had a thread of clothing on you, the cold air of the room hitting you body made another alarm go off in your head. You’d think you were strapped to the cold hard examination table but it was simply the numbness of your limbs that prevented you from moving. Panic started to flood through your system as you racked your brain for any possible reasoning, as to why you were being treated like a test subject. Sure you lived in a society filled with supernatural beings but you were nothing if not normal.

The gradually increasing sound of footsteps pulled you out of your reverie but judging by the situation your in, it most likely wasn’t a good thing. Soon the person who enters, will see you at your most vulnerable, half conscious and naked state, it was humiliating but you had to pull yourself together if you wanted to survive.

Your sleep laden eyes were the only part that you could move but the light shining above you made it quite straining to focus so you stayed still.

A shadow casted itself upon you indicating the person who entered was tall, probably a male and stronger too. In your current state he made you feel like a rag doll as he stared at your form. You’d describe him as a hunter sizing up his prey if you could see his eyes, which were covered by a blindfold. But that wasn’t the only thing peculiar about him, his hair was as white as snow, the lights above you giving him an otherworldly glow when he leaned on you. His pink lips that looked so smooth, shined with the slightest movement. His beautiful features screamed perfect not creep.

“Hellooo~ Y/n chan, are you awake?…..”, He asked in a sing song voice and a smile on his lips that contrasted with the sombre atmosphere of the room.

So he knew your name? It’s not surprising if he was the one who brought you here, but it was the first time you met this person and he had enough quirks that anyone would remember even without having to converse with him. You were barely managing to keep your eyes half open and speaking seemed far too big of a struggle, your body wasn’t listing to you since the moment you woke up so all you could do was wait for him to explain himself, if he’s even planning to.

A few seconds passed in silence before the white haired man continued, “You probably don’t remember but you were attacked. By a curse, I mean.”

His tone held no compassion as his cheery voice continued, “ You were hurt pretty badly and almost got swallowed, but I made it in time so it’s all right now. You need to get examined for any signs of trauma or any other serious injuries, it’s just that your doctor is running a bit late so I decided to take over”, his face drew closer as he practically breathed on your lips, the warmth radiating from his body almost giving you a false sense of relief that was short lived when you felt his hand cup your breast.

“ You don’t mind right?, I’ll make sure to throughly check each.and.every.detail”, he cooed against your ear giving your cold breast a soft squeeze the stranger left feather light kisses up your neck. You may not be a medical expert but even you knew no medical examinations include foreplay. Your body was still as stiff as a rock and even if you were injured it seemed unusual for you to lose the entire control of your limbs and voice, so you put all your strength into pulling out a broken scream from your clogged throat. It was a futile effort but you couldn’t just let yourself be fondled by some stranger who clearly didn’t looked or acted sound of mind.

“ What’s wrong y/n? Didn’t that felt good?”, There was obvious confusion in his tone, as if he doesn’t realise he doesn’t have your consent but as outrageous as it seemed to you his touch felt good, comforting even. His touch was the only thing that gave you warmth since you regained consciousness and maybe it’s your dazed state or the fact that you’ve been lying on this hard surface or its in his superficial beauty that was making your body feel at ease instead of tensing up.

The murky room that previously made you shiver, now felt warm with a sweet scent in the air, “ Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of you~”, he whispered softly in your ear, moving your breasts tenderly so as to not cause you any pain, and then lightly he rolled your perked up nipple between his fingers, delighting at the sight of your face twisting up in pleasure you can’t refuse.

He tilted your chin upwards to gain more access to your throat and started sucking a trail of red marks from your jaw to the valley between your breasts, they felt tingly and soft at first, his kisses lighting you’re numb body on fire, a feeling that was undeniably delightful albeit forceful.

“ Not gonna put on a fight now sweetheart? What a good girl you are!”, His voice took a maniacal pitch, but his smile appeared to be of genuine nature as if he really did wanted to take care of you.

“ Let’s get serious now shall we?”, Saying that he moved towards your legs, he bent over your naked pussy and parted your thighs as much as your currently stiff body allowed. It was clear to him that you wanted to protest, wanted to hide yourself and run away but your slightly parted lips that couldnt make out any screams of pain or pleasure, those half lidded eyes which were struggling to focus on what was happening to the rest of your body, it was all part of what made your current violator’s desire surge through his blood .

His hand that parted your legs gave the inner part of your thighs a gentle pinch, as he kept on stroking the soft flesh. Moving his left hand inbetween them he reached for your glistening nether lips beneath curls of pubic hair, with two of his long thick fingers he pried them open. Licking his lips like he was about to devour a delicious meal he brought his face closer to your sex until his tongue made contact with your clit. He took the tiny nodule in his mouth and gave it a hard suck making you shiver and with that, every ounce of fight left in you died as you started to surrender yourself to his touch that promised the kind of tantalizing euphoria you’ve never imagine possible.

Your body was beginning to heat up to the point of burning as your senses started catching up to the white haired guy’s mouth which relentlessly worked your clit back and forth. Slipping two fingers of his right hand in your tight cunt, he made more of your white hot cum flow out, your face was the picture of bliss as he kept on licking your slick covered pussy. He shoved his fingers inside you harder and faster until you began tightening around him, your pussy started convulsing when that coil of pleasure unwinding in the pit of your stomach reached its peak. With a slight squeeze of his digits you came on his face, just like he wanted you to.

He smiled while watching you come down from your high, the mess your quivering body made was a beautiful sight for him and he wanted to savour every second of it. You though the fire that he kindled inside you would calm down after you came but your body kept on shaking even when your orgasm had ended. It was like your body was not yours anymore, like it didn’t belong to you but the guy who was in front of you. It was only when he was touching you that made your senses come back to yourself and as soon as he drew away you were left unable to control even a single limb of yours.

“ I’m glad to see it was enjoyable for you my sweetness, although I couldn’t swallow all it, I think i was able to get a good enough taste of you”, he spoke in a low baritone. “ I really wanted to hear your cute voice crying out for me but I suppose I went overboard with your medications, so I guess that won’t be happening”, his tone lacked regret but atleast now you knew why your body was acting funny and how this person was insane if he thinks drugging you is giving medication, despite your reasoning all rationality had already left your brain, only leaving you with an unquenchable thirst for his touch.

From the corner of your eye you could see him swiftly unzipping his pants to take out his hard member. He mounted on you still palming his hard on and it only now dawned on you just how huge he was, his body completely enveloped yours making you feel small as he planted one hand beside your head. He leaned down to kiss your parted lips, slipping his tongue inside, you could taste the remnants of your cum on it when he licked the roof of your mouth. His kiss was so hard it almost felt like he was sucking the life out of you not stopping until your consciousness started to waver again.

“ Haaaa… Sorry, I got carried away, breath for me cupcake, Its no good if I have to hump your unconscious body.”, With that he placed his right hand on the back of your knee and pushed it all the way up to your chest, this new position giving him more access to your still swollen and trembling cunt.

In one smooth motion he was buried deep in you, the slick from your last orgasm gave him enough lubrication that he started moving immediately. His pace was fast, but not violently so. It was the right amount of deep and long as he pulled himself out until only his tip remain inside of you before pushed it in again. He watched your reactions intently as he maintained his steady pace, though mildly, you were still able to contort your face like anyone who is being fucked so good. Soon you felt your second orgasm approach and he speed up his own actions to chase his high as well.

“ Gojo…..Satoru…..”, He said inbetween his rhythmic thrusts, “ that’s my name, so let me make you….. remember …it…..”, With a few more hard thrusts a familiar pleasure washed over you. Your pussy clenched around his cock making him follow you soon after.

Panting heavily, he leaned down to rest his forehead against the crook of your neck, beads of sweat trickling down his face as he calmed himself down. He didn’t pull himself out until both of your heavy breaths became steady, still looming over you. Raising his head he licked your lips, and with a low growl against your mouth he put one of his hand on your throat, wrapping itself around it completely, his actions sent a shiver up your spine. He started putting pressure on only some very particular spots, causing your eyes to roll back, making the already delicate state of consciousness to fade. But before you felt yourself getting knocked out you heard him speak again.

“Next time…… I’ll make you say it”, he said calmly as the man named Satoru withdrew his hands from your neck.

[hereformcdonaldshonestly]

When You Wear His Cologne

Fluff 💖

Tenya Iida-

His cologne smells like a mixture of fresh blend of marine citrus, blue sage, and sandalwood. It’s a much more cleaner smell, so it fits him well. The name of the cologne at Bath and Body Works is “Clean Slate”.

Whenever you were staying in his dorm, you grabbed a hoodie of his from his organized closet. He was training and you were staying in his dorm since you did somehow manage to injure yourself by tripping over air. With your knee wrapped up, you were laying on his bed. “Hmm.” You say to yourself, looking around the room. It was a bit colder than usual so you automatically look for a blanket but you grabbed his blue hoodie. It was bigger than you were expecting, it basically swallowed you whole. The smell of his cologne filled the air around you, it immediately calmed you down.

You ended up falling asleep a while after, cuddled up in his hoodie, he walks in. “Hey (y/n), wait till you hear about-“ he pauses, seeing your snoring away. He smiles and recognizes his hoodie on you, he could smell the cologne. He puts a blanket on you, kissing your forehead, and sitting down to work on some studying so he doesn’t wake you.

Denki Kaminari-

You know, for his quirk being electric, he loves the smell of the ocean. His go to cologne is “Atlantic” by Bath and Body Works. It smells like a mixture of coastal citrus, sea mist, and clean woods. And honestly, it smells wonderful.

After training, you two were both out of breath. “I-“ you take a deep breath before starting again, “I forgot how much I hate this.” You say, the class just got back from break. Denki laughs, “Okay complainer, it was awesome to train again!” He says, you roll your eyes. He walks over to you, grabbing you into a hug, you giggled and hug him back. You take in the smell of his cologne. It smelt amazing to you, you took a deep breath, inhaling it. It did smell a bit like sweat but it didn’t really faze you much. “Do you like my new cologne?” He smiles, asking. You nod, your muscles aching from that training session.

After that, you would always try to sneak a shirt of his or sneak a bit of his cologne from him. He caught on after a while, but hey he thought it was adorable! He would always make sure that he always added another spray of his cologne on his clothes, just for you.

Ejirou Kirishima-

Anytime you would hug Kiri you would always smell his cologne. He put it on just for you since well, you were dating him plus he loved when you got excited about smelling it! He would always add a bit extra, his go to cologne is “Graphite”.

Graphite is known for the bold scent of a blend of sage, bergamot spice, and leather woods! Only the manliest of smells for the best! He loved it since he could use a little bit but you could still smell it well. You were in your dorm with Kirishima, hugging him tightly. He was rubbing your back, trying to calm you down. You had a really bad panic attack, that was one of the only things to calm you down. “It’s okay pebbles, you’re okay.” He says quietly, hearing you breathing deeply. Anytime you did get panicked or just upset, he would immediately pull you into a hug and hold you there until you calmed down. It was one of the sweetest things he ever did, he didn’t care who was watching or who was around. He just wanted to make sure you were okay.

After that experience, he got one of his shirts, and sprayed it down for you so you can keep it in your room when he couldn’t be there. Whenever Bakugou asked where one of Kiri’s shirts went, he just shrugged. He didn’t want to let everyone know, which you were perfectly fine with because you did like your privacy!

Katsuki Bakugou-

Katsuki’s cologne is “Bourbon”. He’s always been known to smell like burnt sugar, so this just topped it off. It had a combination of smells, like blend of white pepper, dark amber, and Kentucky oak. You originally got it for his birthday, when he said that he would like to try something new.

He loved it right away, like I mean this boy would SPRAY himself with it. And you could tell. Whenever you got injured, from training with a twisted ankle so it had to be wrapped up for a bit, he would stay in your dorm with you. So anytime you laid down, your pillow would automatically smell like him. It made you so calm, but whenever he had to go back to his old dorm, you struggled falling asleep. You would toss and turn, then you realized that you didn’t smell his cologne anymore. While it was strong, it was soothing to you. So there you were, standing in front of his dorm room in your pjs, knocking lightly. You hear mumbling, realizing you might of woken him up. “What dumbass woke me-“ he opens the door and immediately pauses when he sees you with dark circles underneath your eyes. “I can’t sleep Bakugou.” You say yawning, you hear him chuckle and picks you up. He puts you in his bed and you were knocked out quick!

After that, he started to spray your pillow with his cologne, even bought you a tiny thing of it for you to keep in your dorm! You slept like a rock whenever he started doing that, cuddled up to the pillow. Then some nights he would be there so you didn’t have to cuddle with the pillow.

Izuku Midoriya-

It was kind of a shocker when you found out he wore cologne. You can had a smell mixture of smoky vanilla, blend of black cardamom, and a hint of musk. It wasn’t overpowering, but just enough to where you can smell it if you get close enough.

Whenever Deku was out trying to surprise you for a little date, he wanted to pick out some nice clothes, maybe get his hair to possibly not look messy, and even wanted to take you to this beautiful lake! As he was walking through, he hit the body spray section, oh boy it was a mixture of smells that’s for sure. But whenever he was smelling the scent “Noir”, he knew you would love it. So he got it and went back, getting ready. Whenever he went to your dorm room and knocked, you walked out in your best clothes. He immediately smiles and blushes a bit, you went to go give him a kiss when you smell the cologne. You stopped and looked at him, slightly confused. “Uh, Deku you never wear body spray.” You say, his face went even redder. “Oh! I thought you would like it so I decided to wear it!” He explains, smiling widely. You laugh a bit and kiss him, “it smells wonderful.” You two had an amazing date, from all of the hugs and kisses, you smelled like the cologne. You weren’t complaining though.

He would sneak off little gift boxes after that, with shirts or sweat pants with that cologne sprayed onto it. He knows how much you love the smell of it and plus it’s comfy clothes! He would always add in some kind of snack as well, god you loved your boyfriend.

This one was so cute!! 🥺

I hope you have a great day! :)

[votederpycausemufins]

I’ve been writing and i finally realized it’s long enough i should divide it up into two parts probably. so here’s a fic of Grian and Mumbo giving Grumbot and Jrumbot proper bodies. it’s got fluff and angst!

“You did what?!” Grian shouted, making Scar take a step back.

“Please, I assure you it was an accident.” He held his hands up defensively. “I didn’t think it would get all the way over there.”

“Of all the people to do it, it had to be you!” Grian grumbled as he pulled out his comm. “While I would like to talk about this more, it will have to wait until after Mumbo and I have dealt with this mess.”

“Do you want any help?”

Grian paused. At first he didn’t want to. Scar was the one that let a stray wither projectile or two hit the virtual reality box. But then again, it could help guilt Scar more into an IOU. “We’ll see. Better for you to come along just in case as backup.”

Grian looked back down at his comm to see Mumbo had responded. He shot back another message before flying over to the shopping district with Scar. When they approached the damaged building, Grian’s eyes widened. “Scar! You made it sound like it was just one wither attack!”

“Well, you see I tried fixing it, but it was getting dark, and the torches were put out and mobs started spawning and-”

Grian just groaned and landed on the roof, taking a peek inside. It didn’t seem like Grumbot was active, so maybe they had gotten lucky and he was in sleep mode the whole time. Once Mumbo arrived the three of them would fix the box and he wouldn’t even notice. “Okay Scar, how many blocks were you able to recover?” The mayor handed everything he saved to Grian. “Alright, obviously we lost some of it. Once Mumbo’s here, I’ll fly back to my mansion and grab more.”

“Wouldn’t the barge be closer?” Mumbo spoke as he landed nearby. “And you weren’t kidding when you said there was a problem here.”

“Yeah, but it looks like Grum’s in sleep mode. I’m sure if he was awake for any of it, he’d still be up in a panic.” Grian quickly explained before flying to his barge.

“Wait, Grian, you still have all the… blocks.” Scar tried to stop Grian before he was too far away, but had no luck. “Now I’m glad you mentioned the barge. He hopefully won’t be gone too long.”

Mumbo nodded, looking around and then spotting some blocks resting on the ground inside the box. “Well, there seems to be something left down there, so we can potentially use that.”

Scar looked over the edge and then shook his head. “I already broke the place with explosions. For all we know me going down there will make it worse.”

“Well if we don’t grab those now, it’ll take longer to just be sitting here waiting for Grian to come back. And waiting longer is going to make it worse, not you going down there.”

It took a bit more convincing, but Scar did eventually glide down with Mumbo. The two of them started gathering the materials all strewn about, starting to repair the box. Scar was the first to fill up his inventory, already having a large amount of items filling it. He pulled out some fireworks to fly back up and start repairs, but just as he started to rocket up, everything suddenly got brighter. Scar turned his head to see the screen of Grumbot’s face turning on, and since he was distracted by that, he flew right into the ceiling, crashing back down to the ground.

“Ohhh man, that’s not good.” Scar continued to look up at the robot, ignoring the fact that he was sitting at two hearts.

Grumbot looked down at Mumbo at Scar, seeming to still be waking up a bit as he looked a little unfocused. “What is- Oh hello.” Grumbot looked between Mumbo and Scar, now confused. “Why are you wearing a mayoral outfit and not Mumbo?” The two stood frozen, not sure what to say. “The only reason for that would be-” The robot cut himself off as the background of his screen became a red color. Mumbo barely had the chance to move as he dove at Scar, pushing the two of them out of the way from the large robotic fist that nearly crushed the mayor.

“Grumbot! What are you doing?!” Mumbo shouted up, but the robot didn’t answer, instead trying to grab Scar. As his hand moved, there was the sound of a firework and Grian dove in, landing on the arm and pushing it off balance.

“What did you two do while I was gone?” Grian asked before flying to dodge and then deflect another grab from Grumbot.

“We were just grabbing some stray supplies from down here when he woke up. He noticed my suit and just started attacking!” Scar managed to dodge being squished by a fist but wasn’t able to dodge the other hand that slapped him into a wall of the building, hard enough to kill him.

“Scar!” Grian yelled before turning his anger on Grumbot, who seemed to do the same, now beginning to attack the avian. Grian was able to dodge easily due to his flying skills and the fact that he no longer was trying to keep himself and Scar alive at the same time. “Mumbo! Do something! He’s not attacking you!”

On the ground, Grian’s words helped get Mumbo moving again after freezing from Scar’s death. He ran towards Grumbot, pick in hand to break through the monitor casing and get into the redstone circuitry. He broke in and pulled himself into the redstone, looking around for the safest way to cut power. At the same time he was trying to be careful to not break anything important. But it looked like he didn’t need to do that because it had already been done. Part of Grumbot’s casing was broken elsewhere and the redstone nearby was damaged. Getting closer, Mumbo could smell used gunpowder.

Finally Mumbo grabbed the redstone battery and carefully disconnected it. He could hear the mechanics that let Grumbot move power down and stop moving which let him sigh in relief. The redstoner climbed out the nearby creeper hole and dusted himself off, instead just spreading the red dust all over his suit.

Grian landed, panting a bit and letting his wings drag on the ground. “That was close. Good timing Mumbo.”

Mumbo nodded before going over to Grian. “How hurt are you? I’ve got extra carrots if you need them.”

“No, just probably strained myself keeping myself alive. I’ll probably need to use an elytra for the next day or so.”

“Oh, how horrible for you.” Mumbo replied sarcastically. “How will you even manage like the rest of us.”

Grian shoved Mumbo slightly before looking up at Grumbot. “Him attacking Scar I can understand, but why me?”

“When I was back there, it looked like the box wasn’t the only thing that got griefed by mobs.” Mumbo explained. “It’s nothing too horrible. Just a few wires that need replacing, clean up the mechanics. But nothing important was damaged.” Mumbo looked at Grian who was still staring up at Grumbot with a worried look on his face. “Grian, he’s fine.”

But the avian shook his head. “He’s not fine. He’s still stuck here. I don’t want it to be another closet.”

Mumbo put a hand on Grian’s shoulder, making him jump slightly. “Do you want to try talking to X again? Now that we’ve started going to those championship things, he might be more open to us worldhopping.”

“Yeah, that might work. But what if he says no? What if I just messed up again and- Ow!” Grian whipped his head around to look at Mumbo who was now holding a red feather in his hand. “What was that for?!”

“You were starting to spiral. Look, Xisuma’s protective of us, but think of it like this, shouldn’t he be protective of Grumbot too? He’ll have to let you go if you bring that up.”

Grian smiled a little. “I guess you’re right. Where’d that extra braincell come from?”

Mumbo scoffed. “I’ll have you know that since Grumbot is a redstone machine my two braincells are enough for this.”

Grian poked his head from around the door frame to look at Xisuma. “Hey X, are you free right now?”

The admin turned around from what he was doing to look at Grian. “What’s wrong Grian, you look nervous about something.”

“Yeah, um. Remember how back when the elections wrapped up and I wanted to go off world for a little bit?”

“Are you asking that again? Grian, I know I’m sure it will be fine but-”

Grian cut Xisuma off. “No, X I know you get worried about us, but you let us go to MCC when it rolls around and the others have gone around here and there.”

“I know Grian, but those are still controlled situations that go to safe environments. What you’re requesting would take you to who knows where.” Xisuma pulled a chair over and sat down. “My priority is keeping all of you safe, so I can’t let you leave.”

Grian ruffled his feathers. “You know I could just go without your permission.”

Xisuma nodded. “But you won’t.”

“I will this time.” Grian replied, making Xisuma pause from how serious the avian sounded. “I’ll take Mumbo with me too and we won’t come back.”

“Grian, the whole reason you joined us is because you wanted a safe place to live. Hermitcraft is one of the safest places out there if not the safest. Why would you just want to leave now?”

Grian crossed his arms. “Well, we want to come back, but we need something that we can’t get here. It’s important.”

“You said in the past that you needed microblocks and non-euclidian portals. You never would tell me why.” Xisuma leaned forward, hoping he could finally get an answer from the builder.

“Remember Grumbot? I know you interviewed him when the elections were happening.”

The admin nodded. “And he had a breakdown after Mumbo lost so you put him in a box.” X paused as the gears in his brain turned. “You came to me between his breakdown and building the box.”

“Yeah.” Grian nodded, looking off to the side a little. “Mumbo’s amazing with redstone and I’m great at building, but there are still problems with getting Grumbot working and actually be able to build him safely. Mumbo said that if we could add more circuits or something it would have helped Grum, but we didn’t have room and you said no.”

Xisuma sighed. “Grian, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place? You just going off all willy nilly is one thing, but for something like this… Of course you can go. I mean, I’ll want constant contact from you three.”

“Three?”

Xisuma pulled up admin panels from thin air. Grian watched, having a little trouble reading the backwards text, but his eyes widened as he realized what exactly the admin was doing just before a communicator materialized in X’s lap. “I’m sure this can be connected to Grumbot directly.”

Grian nodded and took the communicator, starting to smile. “Thank’s X.” He started to walk off, but then paused to turn around with his smile turning to a smirk. “I can’t wait to tell Grumbot all about his grandpa X.”

Before Xisuma could say anything, Grian was running off. The admin slumped in his seat and sighed. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”

Grian stood on the roof of the box, looking down at Grumbot’s former body. Mumbo had said everything had been packed up and carefully placed in a shulker box, but the builder still worried, especially since Mumbo was late. If everything was already packed up, why wasn’t he here?

Grian’s feathers ruffled again, he had lost count how many times he had worked himself up over the past hour. Obviously it was too many because that time it felt painful. The avian ended up sitting down and starting to preen his wings, the ruffled feathers being all over the place. While fixing the feathers, he was half aware of their colors shifting as he looked into the world they would be going to. It seemed empty, so they wouldn’t have any trouble. And even if they did, they likely wouldn’t be bad enough to deal with a Watcher.

Grian was pulled out of his thoughts by a shout. He looked and saw Mumbo gliding towards him before landing on the roof. “What took you so long?”

“Had something else I needed to pick up. It was supposed to be simple, but then I started thinking about what we’ll be doing and, well next thing I know I’m late.”

“I’ll ignore that just this once.” Grian joked as he stood up. “We’ll be getting there at night time at this point, so we’ll have to deal with mobs.”

“Oh joy.” Mumbo sighed, putting his armor on and making sure his shulker box… boxes? Were secure.

“The second box what caused you to be late?” Grian asked, getting a nod from Mumbo. “Okay then, well let’s not take any longer.” The two watched as a portal of bedrock and obsidian formed in front of them. It appeared block by block and then finally lit itself at which point Grian held his hand. “Oof, haven’t done that in a while.”

“Well I’m going to be doing most of the work, so don’t you worry.” Mumbo patted Grian’s back before the two of them walked through.

It took a while, but Grian set up a house for him and Mumbo to stay in during the nights. After that they needed to do a bit of resource gathering. Grian expected they would need at least some new tools for the things unique to this world, but they also needed more redstone and building supplies after Mumbo showed Grian what had delayed him.

“I didn’t think we even gave him any circuits. I mean he didn’t even have a proper redstone door if I recall correctly.”

“Well, I may have added a little bit here and there. It didn’t feel right to keep him as just a shop, but he wasn’t as sentient as Grumbot.” Mumbo explained, finally putting down the shulker box labeled with Jrumbot’s name.

Grian sighed, but he saw Mumbo’s logic. “Well, I guess he was meant to be Grumbot’s little brother. But we’re going to build him second.”

“Well, we do have more prepared for Grum than Jrum.” Mumbo conceded. “Now, what all are we after?”

“We can get the tools for building everything easily enough, but the main problem is actually putting it all together on a small scale. We’re going to need lots of obsidian of both types and dyes.”

Mumbo paused. “Really? Dyes?”

Grian shrugged. “Yeah. There’s also a new type of ore which gives us a kind of crystal and that’ll bring everything together.”

“Right, well I guess we should start gathering supplies.” Mumbo pulled out his pickaxe and then looked around. “Let’s see if we can’t find a cave nearby.”

Grian pulled out a diamond and did some crafting to make a chisel. “While you do that, I’ll work on putting together bodies. I may have done it before, but it’s still not exactly the easiest thing to do, especially since I need to actually get things the right size.”

Mumbo nodded and wished Grian luck before running off to find a cave. Slowly he filled his inventory up with obsidian and crystals and even more redstone. By the time he returned back to the base to make a nether portal closer to home, Grian had piles of tiny blocks all around him. “You’ve been busy.”

The builder paused his work to look over at Mumbo. “Looks like you have been too. How much do you have?”

Mumbo showed off what he gathered before making a portal. “It took forever to mine the obsidian up, but everything else was simple, now I just need to trade for crying obsidian and collect more quartz.”

Grian paused, looking back and forth between Mumbo and what he had gathered. “Quick question. What gold will you be trading with?”

The redstoner almost spoke before he realized what Grian had. “Oh I’m such a spoon. I guess that means more mining for me.”

Mumbo grumbled somewhat as he walked back off to his mining area, leaving Grian alone with his tiny blocks. The builder sighed and shook his cramping hands out and set his tools down. His next more was to grab some wool and craft up a bag which was quickly filled up with a variety of bit blocks. It took some fiddling, but eventually Grian was happy with the bag and started to slowly create Grumbot’s body. 

Even with the scale much smaller, Grian still found himself having trouble. He wasn’t sure how big or how small to make everything. Sure the redstone could get even smaller than this with those special portals that Mumbo was working on, but he was aware that getting too small could be risky. Grian ended up just staring at a half finished head before he realized what exactly he could do. With the original model, they only really had the head to work with, but now they could also fit redstone circuits in the rest of the body. Sure some of that would be taken up by whatever they would use to help Grumbot move around, but Grian has seen Mumbo’s work and knew there was no way that would take up all the extra space they had.

By the time Mumbo returned again, Grian had fully planned out Grumbot’s body and was now building it up. He took a break to let the redstoner give his critiques before he went off to the nether. Grian made a few tweaks to the design based on the comments he was given, but it was still going well.

The avian was glad he took a break at just the time he did as in the nether, Mumbo had gotten into quite the pickle and ended up dying, leaving him surprised when he spawned back at the house with all his gear. Even though he was upset, Grian couldn’t help but be doubled over with laughter.

“Grian! This isn’t funny!”

“Oh it’s definitely funny. You should have seen the look on your face!”

“I thought I lost the shulker boxes!”

“I forced you to put them down before you even went mining you spoon. I expected you to fall in lava down there.”

“I’m glad you’re so trusting of my skills.” Mumbo rolled his eyes.

“Hey, not my fault the world doesn’t trust you either.” Grian said before devolving into pure laughter again. Mumbo huffed, but even he could see what was so funny about the situation and ended up smiling along. From there, the two of them both took a break to talk things out and see how far along they were. They also used that time to give Xisuma some updates, which based on the messages they got back, was greatly appreciated.

Mumbo sighed as he did his best to keep his balance while Grian stared at him. “Grian can you please just take me over to Grumbot?”

“But you’re just so small!” Grian cooed, patting Mumbo’s head with a finger. The movement left the redstoner trying to stay standing in Grian’s palm.

“Yes, and I would like to stop being small as soon as possible, but I need to put Grumbot circuits together first.”

Grian pouted, but then carried Mumbo over to the robot body and placed him on top. “Once you’re inside, it’ll seem just like you’re normal sized in something that’s really big, like your base. You don’t need to light things up since mobs won’t spawn, but you may still want to use your torches to see where you’re going. If you need more building blocks, just shoot me a message.”

Mumbo nodded then pulled out the chisel he had been given. It was a little odd to hold as it hadn’t quite gone through the same shrinking process he did, but it worked well enough. And while it was on the bigger side, his redstone was all on the smaller side. It ended up making the redstone work take longer than usual as he had trouble seeing everything he was doing and getting into certain nooks and crannies was a chore. The easiest part had been getting all the machinery for the movement working because once you built a moving village in a standard world, making joints was simple with extra tools.

He wasn’t entirely sure how long he had been at it when the shulker box was finally empty, but Mumbo knew for certain he felt exhausted. He had checked over all the redstone so many times he had lost count. Sure, he and Grian could simply turn Grumbot on and see if it worked or not, but they wouldn’t be able to see what was broken unless Mumbo was in the circuits and there were enough moving parts there could be the chance of being crushed. At the same time, he also didn’t want Grumbot to wake back up and freak out from any redstone problems.

The redstoner wanted to keep going, but there was a loud thudding noise which made his head ring a little. “Mumbo, how’s it going? It’s been way too long and I doubt you’ve slept.”

Recovering from the loud noise that was presumably Grian knocking on the metal to get his attention, Mumbo yelled back. “It seems it’s all good to go, but I’m a bit nervous to actually turn it all on!” And then he found his way out a small hatch near where the neck and body connected. “I’ll sit here while you turn things on! Hopefully if there is a problem I can see it from here!”

Mumbo watched as Grian turned Grumbot on and then the two of them waited on bated breath, but as the seconds dragged on, nothing happened. “I guess that didn’t go as hoped.” Grian looked down at Mumbo who was currently peering down into all the redstone.

“This doesn’t make sense. Something not working correctly would be expected, but nothing working at all? I should at least be seeing some light from the redstone working but there’s not- GRIAN!” Mumbo nearly fell over. In trying to figure out what to do he had started mumbling to himself. Being so small it was hard to hear so Grian leaned in closer to hear better. When Mumbo finally looked towards Grian, he didn’t expect him to be standing so close, amplified by the current size discrepancy.

“Do you think I could have a look?” Grian asked in a hushed tone, trying not to scare Mumbo any more. “I know I’m pants with redstone, but I’ve had experience building robots. Sure they don’t come out right all the time, but at least they turn on.”

Mumbo glared at Grian for the slight jab at him before sighing. “Alright, let’s get me back to normal and then get you in there.”

The two of them eventually figured out the problem. The size of all the redstone caused some issues. Nothing that made them have to start building from the ground up thankfully, but some changes needed to be made. A battery made out of redstone blocks, quartz, a few diamonds, and a whole lot of hope was placed in Grumbot. They had made a few versions and tested them and found that while it seemed to work, it would need to be charged after a bit. Fortunately it seemed to last days on it’s own with one charge and while it lasted shorter while actually being used for something, it still worked well.

“But maybe we could make it last longer?” Mumbo said as he started working on a new design as Grian was flopped on his shoulder.

“Mumbooooo! We should have gone to bed hours ago. We’ll just make it worse if we work when we’re tired. Besides, it’ll work perfectly for him just charging at bedtime.”

“But it could wear out over time if it gets over charged.” Mumbo started to complain, but he was silenced by Grian starting to drag him away.

“No, we are sleeping and that is it! We don’t need any more batteries.”

“Wait Grian!” The redstone pulled away. “Let’s do one last thing before going to bed.” He tried to ignore the deadly glare from the sleep deprived builder. “Let’s turn him on.”

Immediately Grian looked much more awake. “Wait are you serious?!”

“We’ve looked over all the redstone a million times and tested the battery to its limits and even have a charger prepared. If it doesn’t work, we go to sleep and can fix it when we’re well rested. And if it does, then he’ll spend the night with us.”

Grian looked a little unsure, but ultimately agreed. He was given the honors and hit the power button, stepping back to Mumbo’s side as the two of them watched hopefully as the monitor of Grumbot’s face lit up. Their breaths were held as a loading bar appeared on the screen, slowly creeping across until it finally disappeared, and the familiar face replaced it.

“Grumbot?” Mumbo spoke up hesitantly, watching as the robot turned to look back at him. For a while there was no answer, making Grian start to fidget nervously. But finally Grumbot looked away from Mumbo and looked down at himself and then around at the place they were in. Mumbo almost spoke again, but then Grumbot beat him to it.

“Is this real? Have I gained an ability to dream? Or have I been dismantled and somehow reached an afterlife?”

Immediately Grian was at Grumbot’s side. “No no no no no! None of that! I mean yes it’s real. You’re not dreaming and you are completely one hundred percent not dead.”

Grumbot looked down again, moving his hands. “I see. Why did you rebuild me? Is there another election coming up?”

“No. No elections. Uh.” Mumbo rubbed the back of his head, trying to find some way to explain what was going on. “Well, you see…”

“Mumbo, can we talk about this in the morning?” Grian spoke up before he could say anything the two of them might regret. “He’s working and it is extremely late. I want to sleep and I want to do it now!”

“I am okay with that.” Grumbot spoke up. “While I am confused and would like to know what is going on, you two do look tired.”

“See, he agrees!” Grian smiled. “Now let’s craft another bed so we definitely have enough room and go to sleep.” And before Mumbo could say anything more, Grian was dragging him and Grumbot to the house.

It was slightly concerning when Grian broke the door to the closet when grabbing his pajamas to change into, but Mumbo figured that could also wait until morning. Especially after he saw Grian pull Grumbot into bed to cuddle with and almost immediately fall asleep. The redstoner soon joined the two of them but didn’t feel quite as tired. “If you want, you can ask a few small questions before bed.”

Grumbot looked up at Mumbo before looking at the bedsheets. “Am I even able to sleep?”

“Well, you should have something of a sleep mode. I’m not sure how well it will function, but you should be able to activate it.”

There was quiet before Grum nodded. “I think I can figure that out. Legs on the other hand…”

“I guess those are pretty new to you. We can help you tomorrow and carry you if need be.”

“Why now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t really been visiting all that often. It makes sense since there’s no election or anything, but if there’s still none then why-”

Mumbo gestured for Grumbot to pause. “It seems you don’t really remember it, but you got damaged. Grian and I actually wanted to do this months ago, but we didn’t have the chance until now.”

He could see as Grumbot seemed to look around, putting some pieces together. “I… I almost killed Dad. I started attacking him out of nowhere. I could have-”

“But you didn’t Grum, and I’m sure Grian doesn’t blame you. If he did, he wouldn’t have built you your current body.”

Grumbot seemed to accept that, staying quiet until he pulled himself under the covers more, lying down. “Goodnight Dad.”

“Goodnight Grum.”

[h2bakugou]

Hi hi! I love your writing dude! 🖤 I was wondering if you could do a request for Bakugou x female reader? Maybe one where the reader was in a toxic relationship where her and the partner were both at fault, but the ex partner goes around the school saying she was the only toxic one and he didn’t do anything and almost everyone believes him over her bedsides like class 1-a and bakugou. The reader starts to cry and have panic attack but bakugou helps calm her down. Sorry this is so specific

a/n: hi love! thank you so much <3 of course! toxic relationships are the fucking worst. thank you for this request love!! 

summary: the downfall of your most recent relationship was a rumor started by your ex blaming you for the end to the very toxic relationship when he was to blame too. class 1-a is on your side but soon it’s a little much for you to handle.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, panic attack/mentions of panic attacks, toxic relationships/mentions of toxic relationships

word count: 1.3k

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Walking down the hallway felt awful. You could feel every pair of eyes on you as you hurried to your class where you knew you’d be safe. 

The downfall of your most recent relationship was a nasty rumor started by your ex, claiming that the sole reason you were no longer together was because you were toxic, claiming that you manipulated him to stay with you and to love you.

And they believed him.

Every single student he talked to and the students they talked to, the chain continued until word spread around into your class.

But you were lucky enough to be able to explain what happened. To tell them the truth about just how bad it was.

To explain that while you weren’t exactly in the right, neither was he. He was to blame as much as you were. While you had never manipulated him, he had certainly done so to you.

Claiming to ruin your reputation if you left him, or going as far as to try and get you expelled if you didn’t hang out with him and his friends. He was an ass.

So when you deliberately ignored his texts and calls, much rather wanting to spend time with your friends and Bakugou, you were accused of cheating.

Which wasn’t the case at all. You’d never cheat. You weren’t like that. But he made it hard to escape. You couldn’t break up with him. You confided in Bakugou because he listened. 

He was boiling with rage, but he listened to every single word you had to say about how awful it was. And all he wanted to do was pull you into his arms and kiss you right there. But he couldn’t.

He would’ve given the excuse that you weren’t really in a relationship with the jerk anyway, claiming that he’d gone way too far to even be considered a suitable boyfriend and that the relationship ended when he started treating you like shit.

But Bakugou knew better than anyone that what he was thinking was wrong. Holding it all in and bottling it all up was what he did, so he held back. He trained harder at practice to get his anger out, vowing to help as best as he could without overstepping his boundaries.

But then you broke up. 

Bakugou was asleep. It was every bit of three am, but he heard the knocking on his door and woke up. Grumpy and still half asleep he opened the door but all of it changed when he saw you, clad in a long sleeve shirt and sleep pants, tears streaming down your face.

You were a mess, completely broken and hurting in his arms. You were silent save for your muffled sobs as you clung to Bakugou as you laid in his bed.

Bakugou insisted on stroking your hair, trying his best to calm you down. He wanted to know more, the only words you’d said to him had been ‘he broke up with me’ but it wasn’t enough.

He wanted to know every detail so he could go slap this guy into next week, hell next year. He wanted to beat the shit out of him. He’d treated you so fucking awfully, he wanted to teach him a lesson.

Bakugou was your rock, your safe haven. Your place to vent, your shoulder to cry on.

And eventually, when the rumor began to spread, he was there for more.

Kissing Bakugou was a way to clear your mind. Sitting in his lap making out when you should’ve been studying, trying so hard to get your mind off of the stupid rumor.

But now you stood in the hallway, pacing around the empty corridors clenching your shirt.

“What’s wrong (Y/n)?” His voice. He was there. There to torment you and make you feel even worse. Your ex.

“Go away. I-I don’t wanna see you or speak to you ever again.” You turned away, b-lining for the water fountain to lubricate your dry throat. You’d asked to step out of class for a minute because your phone had been going off with random texts and messages from other students calling you out and calling you names.

It was overwhelming and you were beginning to have a panic attack.

Your vision was blurry, yet you tried to focus, trying to calm your nerves as they reacted too fast, making the room go from almost unfocused to a spinning blur.

“You don’t look so well. Why don’t you let me help?” He stepped closer, placing his hand on your back before trailing it up to the back of your neck. Yanking you away from the water fountain, he turned you to face him, his grip still tight on your neck.

“If we get back together I can end this whole charade. You’ll be popular again, it’ll be like it never even happened-”

An explosion. Your ears were ringing. Your ex laid on the ground beside you, bruised from one hit, smoke clearing, and Bakugou standing where your ex once did.

“Back the fuck up.” Bakugou approached your ex, looming over him as he knelt down.

“She’s great isn’t she-”

The punch to his face was well deserved for that comment. And so was the next one, and the next one until Bakugou was positive his nose was broken and the black eye he’d given him was already beginning to bruise.

“I don’t know what made up shit about her you’ve said but you better fix it or I’ll fucking kill you.” Bakugou’s tone wasn’t evil, he told everyone to die. It was a figure of speech. But you weren’t quite sure if he was joking or not.

Lowering a sparking palm closer to his face, your ex began to no feverishly.

“Alright! Alright! I’ll clear her name! I lied about a lot of stuff!” Your ex admitted. Bakugou backed up, but not before giving one final punch to the gut, causing him to curl up on the ground and groan in pain.

“Bakugou.” Mr. Aizawa called toward the blonde. Bakugou ignored his teacher and looked at you, enveloping you into a hug as he pulled you away from your ex.

“Bakugou.” Mr. Aizawa’s voice was much more stern this time.

“I’m coming old man.” Bakugou retorted, pausing to make sure you were okay.

“Thank you.” You whisper in his ear, wrapped in a hug. 

Mr. Aizawa waits a few seconds before clearing his throat once more to signal that Bakugou was in trouble.

“Meet me in my room tonight.” Bakugou spoke heading toward the teacher to receive his punishment.

That night you did as Bakugou had asked and met him in his dorm room. You knocked softly and he opened, a small smile present on his lips.

“How are you?” Bakugou asked, holding you in his arms as you laid on his bed. You snuggled into his touch and sighed.

“Feeling a little better. Now that the truth is out, I feel oddly freed.” You admit, turning to face him. You placed a small kiss on his lips, resting your hands in his, lacing your fingers together.

“That little punk shouldn’t cause you any more problems, and if he does-”

“I’ll be sure to let you know.” You kiss the tip of his nose and smile, cuddling into his chest.

“Who knew the best thing had really been in front of my eyes the entire time.” You whispered. Bakugou’s eyes widened ever so slightly.

“I am the best at everything.” Bakugou replied cockily. You let out a quiet laugh and leaned up to kiss his lips again.

“Can you just ask me out already?” You pout, waiting for him to say the words.

“You wanna be my girlfriend?” Bakugou smirked, his thumbs rubbing the sides of your hands.

“I do.” You kiss his lips one more time, enjoying the feeling and basking in his touch. His kiss was healing, it made you feel whole.

It was right, it was perfection. It was love.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Long Nights - part 5

Neil x Reader

Chapter 5: After rain

(see chapter 4, 3, 2, 1)

summary: you learn to cope with the new situation, but you aren't the only one struggling

warnings: 18+, angst and pain, explicit language and other things

author’s note: This part of the story's been with me for... oh, so long. I just hope I did it justice. ✨6,1k words.✨ I don't even know.

Hurt/Comfort.

The song for this part is Dermot Kennedy - After rain

Enjoy! All feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you think?

——————

Tag list: @cxnnienikas @neutron-stars-collision ​ @ergunbilge @invertedneil @wanderedaway @mellifluous-cosmos @wonderwoman292 @buckysgoldenheart @townmoondaltwistle @theriverbeneaththeriver (please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the list)

-----

Your hands clenched on the bed’s frame, its coldness felt like the only real thing your drugged mind could process.

Doctor’s words were filling the room, but they were muffled as if they were coming from behind a barrier. Falling from such height...extreme luck...no broken bones…head trauma...internal bruising....

Was all that talking really necessary? Yeah, you were battered, all right. And it seems that even with painkillers the weird throbbing, like a morse code from your bruised cells, was about to stay with you for a little while.

...just like the darkness.

The more the doctor spoke, the more it became clear that they didn’t have any definite answers for you. Seemed like the day spent on being prodded, stabbed with needles, and tossed into various machines resulted in nothing more than a verdict: optic nerve injury.

As for what were you supposed to do now--

“Let me get this straight, doctor,” you said, slowly losing patience. “Your only solution now is: let’s wait and see what happens?”

Drumming fingers against a piece of plastic, followed by a sigh.

“Yes. There is no effective treatment, we could try a high dosage of corticosteroids, but there is no evidence that it’s gonna make any difference, really. And as some recovery may spontaneously occur within days or weeks--”

Weeks.

A cold shiver ran down your spine and you swallowed with effort.

And that was a maybe.

You just wanted to go home.

“Grand,” you cut in, “please tell me I can wait for that possible joyful occurrence anywhere else but here.” You aimed for a lighter tone, but every word coming out of your mouth was dripping with bitterness. Grimacing at your own attitude, you forced a weak smile to appear on your face. “No offense, doc.”

“None taken,” the doctor said with a snicker. “I get it.” A short pause filled with a rustling of paper. “With all the tests done, I don’t think we need to keep you here for observation any longer, but I’d recommend you weren’t alone for the next few days. Do you have anyone to take care of you after we discharge you?”

“I don’t need--”

Neil’s firm voice overlapped with yours.

“Yes, she has.”

You huffed, startled. And a bit annoyed.

You almost forgot Neil was in the room, but to be fair, you were quite sure he’d never left your side since you woke up. His initial nervous chatter got replaced by a silent presence, always ready to jump in should you needed anything - no matter if it was a glass of water or an arm to lean on. It was all comforting, endearing even, and you were so grateful to have him around, but the thought of having Neil in your apartment triggered an irrational panic.

Instead of dwelling on the roots of the anxiety, you decided to over-talk it.

“Neil, I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be okay, and you surely have better things to do than babysitting me.”

“I don’t.” Was that a hint of hurt in his voice? “Doctor, can you discharge her even if she is gonna be alone out there?”

“I’d rather she spent at least one more day here then.”

Unbelievable. You rolled your eyes, hoping it would make the same effect as always, and groaned. “Fine, you win, only because I want nothing else but to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Excellent,” said the doctor cheerfully, “I’ll get the forms and come back to you soon.”

“Thank you, doc,” you sighed, hanging your head in defeat.

After spending enough time with a person, it was always easy to recognize them by the way they walk. That’s how you knew it was Neil who approached you, ever so hesitantly.

And only because of a brush of his fingers against your hand you realized you were still clinging onto the bed frame.

“Hey, I’ll just help you set up everything you need there, all right?” he said quietly and you felt him sitting down next to you. “You’re gonna have all the space you want, and as soon as you decide it’s too much, I’ll get out of your hair, I promise.”

He must have noticed that little panic of yours, huh?

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to form a coherent thought. “It sounds good though, thank you.”

“Sure thing.” Neil shifted slightly. “How are you feeling?”

You shrugged and grimaced. “I don’t know, but either I’ve slept through the best high or these drugs they gave me are kinda lame.” Hearing Neil’s light chuckle, you cracked a small smile. “Honestly? I’m knackered.”

He hummed with sympathy.

“Is there anything I can do for you now?”

The softness in his voice was more than your tired and dazed mind could handle. You leaned to the side and rested your head on his shoulder.

“Just… take me home,” you asked, forcing the words past your clenched throat.

Neil exhaled sharply and carefully wrapped an arm around you, pressing a cheek to the top of your head.

“Of course.”

------

“Welcome to my crib.”

“Thank you, it’s...” - Neil hesitated as he closed the door behind you - “...cosy.”

Patting the wall to your right, you located a small hook and hung the keys on it.

“That is certainly one word for it,” you snorted. “Why, what did you expect?”

“Frankly? Considering you’re such an... acclaimed locksmith, I imagined something… well, bigger, for starters.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he stumbled on words, trying so hard not to sound offensive in any way.

Grinning, you put on your most snobbish tone. “Ah, sorry to disappoint, all my gold, glitter, and general pizzaz got moved to one of my many summer houses as my spacious lair worthy of the most infamous thief is under renovation, so I was forced to retreat to my humble family place in this ghastly neighborhood.”

“Such a shame,” he said and a smile brightened his words. “I like it, though. Matches your vibe, somehow.”

“Because it’s small, detached, empty, yet somehow messy?”

Neil sighed in a way you were absolutely sure he was rolling eyes at you, then helped you with the coat. “It’s gonna take more than putting words in my mouth to make me want to leave you here all by yourself, you know.”

You were quite sure a dirty joke was hiding in there, but it eluded your tired brain.

“Damn, need to up my game then,” you giggled, leaning against the wall to take the shoes off without losing your balance. “Nah, I’m messing with you, I’m grateful you got me out of there. Can’t wait to rinse that hospital stench off of me.”

“Do you want me to run a bath for you?”

You mused over the idea for a moment, “Thanks, I’ll take a shower - two minutes tops and I’d end up asleep in the ‘tub.” Probably even faster, considering that you already were running on fumes. “Anyway, make yourself at home, gonna grab some fresh clothes.”

Neil was not willing to give up.

“I’ll get you--”

“I’ve got this,” you uttered, instantly hating yourself for how harsh it came out, so you quickly added, “But would you please put the kettle on?” sending an apologetic grimace along with your words.

“On it.”

He seemed happy to have something to do. Or at least sounded like it as he took the crackling grocery and takeaway bags to the kitchenette.

You walked across the room with confidence, your hand reluctantly extended ahead on your waist level just in case you miscalculated the route to the bedroom. When you reached the door frame, you smiled to yourself. It wasn’t that hard, was it? Almost like going to the bathroom at night, not willing to put the light on to avoid waking up, right?

And exactly then, your shin hit the edge of the bed footboard, the impact sending a searing wave of pain up your whole leg. You bit your knuckle to stifle a groan and a curse that was bound to follow. Every. Goddamn. Time.

The noises coming from the other room stopped, but luckily there was no question. Nor a hero coming to rescue you from the sudden and vicious attacks of furniture.

Finally, the closet. Your fingers ran through the folded clothes. Clean underwear. A soft t-shirt. Comfy pj pants. The fatigue was so severe that the term dress to impress didn’t even cross your mind. Not that Neil cared, right? But before you stepped back from the wardrobe, you hesitated, sliding your hands down to one of the bottom drawers. All that boring into nothingness was straining, and keeping your eyes closed all the time felt wrong, somehow. Might as well, you shrugged, pulling out a silky blindfold. Maybe this would trick your brain into thinking it was just a game. A temporary thing. Nothing serious.

...but what if--

You took a shaky breath and slammed the closet shut. Swallowing with effort, you took the clothes and limped out of the room, then followed the wall to the bathroom.

Neil’s concerned voice reached you halfway there.

“You okay?”

“Peachy,” you said and flashed your teeth in a strained grin.

“Let me know if you need anything, all right?”

A change of strategy, then. You certainly didn’t mind, at least this way it didn’t trigger the unnecessarily rude reaction. And you had a feeling that you were going to need a pair of eyes to take care of those bruises of yours.

...or you could just follow the radiating ache and slap some gel where it hurts most, but at this point, as the painkillers were slowly wearing off, it would probably be easier to just pour the whole tube on the tiles and roll over in it.

“Will do, thanks.”

You closed the door behind you and sighed. The undressing required an accompaniment of grunts, hisses and curses, and when you finally got into the shower (hitting yourself only once while doing so) you were all sweaty and panting as if you’d run up twenty flights of stairs.

You winced as the warm water poured over your body, but you couldn’t wait to get rid of the lingering smell of antiseptics. Using soap uncovered the injured spots with a burning precision, but you gritted your teeth and soldiered through it, changing position slightly so you wouldn’t cause more damage with shampoo and conditioner. Condemning your past self for choosing a matching set of hair products, you were forced to guess and pick one to pour a little bit of it on your hand to judge which is which based on the texture of the fluid. Why did you even bother…?

When you were done and more or less dry, you put on the panties and wrapped another towel around yourself. A slow thumping in your head was growing stronger by the minute, but it was still bearable. As for taking care of the bruises… you realized you didn’t even know where the arnica ointment was. You’d bought one on your way just in case, but that meant--

You groaned and rubbed an eye with the back of your hand. Help it was, then.

“Neil?” you called out, cracking open the door.

A sudden rumble of a chair made you cringe, but a corner of your mouth twitched.

“What is it?” he asked as his rushed steps carried him closer.

“Could you help me with putting something on the most banged-up spots, please?” - a sheepish smile crept on your lips - “I thought about just mixing some cream with my lotion and rubbing it all over, but--”

He scoffed as if the idea personally offended him. “Jesus, please don’t. I’ll be right back.”

Your legs seemed to weigh a tonne, but also started to shake as though they were about to give in any moment, so you sat back on the edge of a bathtub with relief.

Neil came back after a while and muffled clanking suggested he brought a full medkit with him. You waited as he washed his hands thoroughly, and you stifled an amused giggle at the dedication, even though it was nothing more but common sense.

Neil’s soft voice broke the silence. “I’m gonna take a look at those wounds first, but for that, I need to touch you, is it okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you shrugged. “I imagine you can’t do plenty without that, huh?”

A light chuckle. “Fair enough.” And featherlike touches that followed.

Careful fingers examining every bruised inch of skin, starting from the freshly hurt shin, scraped knees, going up your thighs until they met the edge of the towel. Then, ghosting over your hands, unhurriedly moving up the forearms…

You realized your breath got shaky.

He tucked a still quite damp strand of hair behind your ear and his fingertips glided over your forehead and down your temple, traced your jawline up to your chin. His knuckles grazed your neck, then moved across your collarbones, but when they met the towel again, Neil hesitated.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?” you joked playfully and untucked the corner of the towel, letting it slide down your body.

A sharp inhale and a slipped-out curse.

“Christ…” uttered Neil, and you were quite sure what he was referring to. Your hip pulsated with dull pain in the place where the oxygen container had been, or rather where it must have moved to during the escape, bruising the hip bone and surrounding area at the impact.

You forced a crooked smile to your face. “And here I was hoping it looked better than it felt.”

“I can always lie to you if you want,” he offered, aiming for a lighter tone.

Shaking your head, you nibbled on your bottom lip. Somehow, the sole thought of him lying to you seemed like a certain heartache.

“No.” Your voice sounded weak, but maybe that was understandable, given how powerless you felt overall. Or maybe you could stop being so pathetic any moment now.

You closed your eyes, and while you tried to parley with your brain to give you a break, Neil started meticulously treating your wounds, focused on not causing any more discomfort than it was needed. You switched all your attention to his ministrations, grimacing slightly from time to time as he was tending particularly sore spots. Neil’s warm fingers contrasted with the cold ointment, all the different sensations fought a merciless battle to take precedence over one another, making even more of a mess in your tired head.

You heard Neil shifting in front of you as he was about to move to your injured face. Acting on an impulse, you spread your legs to allow him to come closer, and so he did, positioning himself on his knees between your thighs without a word. Quite a concentration, you thought and smiled fondly to your memories of the times you’d seen him so committed to a task. Slightly furrowed brows, blonde strands falling into shining blue eyes, with a bottom lip tugged between the teeth...

A brief touch on your temple brought you back to reality and you gasped, reaching out to hold on to Neil to keep your balance. As you rested your hands on his sides, he gently cupped your face and continued with taking care of the bruises. It felt as if the warmth radiating from him was mending you whole, even more so when it got combined with tender, soothing brushes of Neil’s thumb against your cheek. You melted into his palm and exhaled slowly, dropping your shoulders and relaxing.

Before you could stop the words from spilling out, you said under your breath, “It was just a fall, I don’t know how it got that bad,” voicing the thought that’s been on your head all day.

Neil pulled back abruptly and the tranquil moment shattered like glass against the bathroom tiles.

“Are you being serious right now? Just a fall? You’re lucky you’re alive, goddamnit, let alone able to walk!” Disbelief mixed with anger in his tone, taking you aback. And to your surprise, it felt like yet another wound, inflicted right at your chest. “Y-you hit the wall before you crashed on the ground, you--” his voice broke and Neil sighed. You heard him packing the medkit, simply tossing things inside before he moved away.

“Oh,” was all you could say, reaching for the abandoned towel to wrap it over your shoulders, in a sudden and desperate need to cover yourself. In every way possible. “Remind me to tie a cat and a buttered slice of bread to myself the next time we do this.”

He didn’t respond to your poor attempt at lighting up the mood, instead, you heard the door handle, a deadpanned “I’ll heat up the food” and he was gone.

You had no idea where his reaction had come from. Normally, you’d have followed him straight away to confront him, but right then you felt so exhausted and helpless you just slouched in your spot, with your hands fisted on the towel, and sat like that for a while, leveling your breath. You mustered all the strength you had left, found your clothes and put them on. Then, you tied the blindfold, letting a piece of sleek material bring a shred of comfort and hide a pitiful glimmer in the corners of your eyes.

You joined Neil in the other room and sat at the table. He didn’t comment on your attire nor the choice of accessories, hell, he barely even spoke to you when he put the plate in front of you, as well as through the whole meal.

Even though you’d picked up your favourite comfort food on the way, it tasted bland, and with your stomach tied into a knot, you couldn’t force more than a few bites into your system. Judging by the sounds - or rather the lack thereof - coming from across the table, Neil’d lost his appetite too.

Finally, you cleared your throat, breaking the heavy silence. “I think I’m full,” you said and stood up, grimacing slightly.

“I’ll do the dishes, go lie down,” he said quietly. “Please.”

As if he anticipated an argument. You really had no energy for that.

“Thank you. Are you--...” you stumbled on the question, but Neil chimed in.

“I’ll be on the couch.”

...maybe it was for the best.

You nodded and turned on your heel to fetch a spare pillow and a blanket while Neil was occupied with the dishes. The ever-growing headache was becoming unbearable, but you hoped that the sweet arms of Morpheus would bring a much-needed release soon. You brushed your teeth quickly and mumbling “‘night,” you disappeared into the bedroom, leaving the door half open for god knows what reasons. Perhaps to make you feel less alone.

The plan of sleeping off the worst pain looked good on paper but proved to be too hard to execute. That bloody awful feeling of being tired beyond comprehension and still unable to doze off, right? You tossed and turned (although carefully), trying to find the most comfortable position. After a while, you took the blindfold off and curled on your side, staring into the nothingness again. Listening to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Forcing every breath through your clenched chest. Trying to focus on anything other than neverending soreness.

You heard Neil’s footsteps and how they stopped right at your door. Stalling.

And you didn’t even try pretending you were asleep. Waiting.

“Hey... I wanted to check if you need anything before I turn in for the night.”

The softness of his voice was tainted by something as if he was holding back. But you were so glad to hear it anyway.

“Actually,” you said, propping yourself on the elbow and wincing, “could you bring me one of those fancy painkillers, please? I thought I might do without for a little while but-- ...yeah, not quite.”

“Of course, coming right up.”

When Neil was back, you sat on the bed, allowing him to hand you a glass and ...a shot glass? You shook the latter slightly and something rattled inside.

“Ah, okay, smart,” you smiled with recognition. “Thanks.”

“Don’t tell me you thought it was vodka?”

A hint of amusement in his tone made you snort.

“I can’t say I would mind,” - shrugging, you swallowed the pill and washed it down with cool water - “but this is gonna be more efficient, I guess.”

You shifted in your spot to put down both glasses on a bedside table. Neil was there to make sure you actually placed them on top of it, pushing your forearm gently when you were about to create a mess.

That light touch brought a lump back to your throat. As if the awkward silence wasn’t suffocating you enough.

“If that’s all…” said Neil quietly, taking a step towards the door.

But you reached out into the darkness and found his hand.

“Neil…” you squeezed his fingers, desperately trying to convey words that eluded you. Your plea was barely a whisper. “...stay?”

The pulse pounded in your ears as the stillness that followed seemed to last forever.

Then, Neil squeezed your hand back.

“I will,” he choked out, and his thumb grazed over your knuckles. “Be right back.”

You nodded and let go of his hand, not even sure that he could see your gesture, then moved to the other side of the bed. The held-back breath escaped in a shudder as another wave of pain overrode your senses, leaving a trail of cold sweat down your spine.

A faint tock of the light switch in the other room, then footsteps and a pillow landing next to yours. Neil snuggled down, keeping his distance, and you curled again in your spot, hoping that his proximity will calm you down enough to fall asleep. But as you said your goodnights and Neil’s breath leveled and got deeper, you still waited on the pills to start working, getting more and more lost in your own head and thoughts you’d managed to keep lidded on until now.

Because if only you’d cracked that safe faster. Or maybe if you’d discussed that escape route beforehand, somebody would have found a better path through the roofs. No, scratch that, the plan was tight, and it was your goddamn fault that you’d gotten distracted by a sodding rain, of all things. And that jump? Bloody amateur hour. Should have seen that coming, stepped to the side, or caught onto anything. You’d been granted a second chance at that wall. But no, you’d had to panic like a bush-leaguer, as if it had been your first fall in your life. And now you were lying there, feeling sorry for yourself. Abso-fucking-lutely pathetic.

What if Madame Karma finally decided to make you pay? What if you were never going to get your sight back? A warm tear trickled down your face slowly. No more free runs and adrenaline rushes while taking shortcuts through the most obscure places. No more lying on the rooftops to observe how the sky changes colours through the night. No more sitting on the hill and watching how the sun reflected in the river. How it danced on that messy blonde hair. You would never see his blue eyes lighting up again--

Your chin trembled as the tears stained your pillow. It felt as if you were nothing but pain, fear, and heartbreak. Pressing your lips together, you stifled a sob that shook your body mercilessly. You were nothing.

“What’s wrong?”

You wanted to brush it off, to tell him you were okay and he could go back to sleep. But instead, you sniffled and whimpered, unable to pass any word through your tightened throat.

Neil gasped and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, hey, come here,” he said softly as his fingers pressed lightly onto your back, urging you to move and you shifted into his embrace, clenching your fists on his t-shirt, struggling for every breath. “I’ve got you, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed, wrapping the arms around you gingerly. A much-needed reassurance whispered over and over again like a plea to anyone who could be listening.

Weeping quietly into Neil’s chest, you sought refuge in his closeness, clinging onto him as he held you and stroked your hair, waiting for the worst to pass. Soon, you ran out of tears, and there were just sobs, convulsing you whole like a heart-wrenching hiccup. Neil hugged you a little tighter, placed a small kiss on top of your head, and started humming, a melody barely more than a murmur. It felt familiar, but why?

By and by, the song and a steady heartbeat against your cheek weaved together and calmed your racing mind. Enough to finally let you drift off, with Neil’s soothing voice and warmth enveloping you, bringing comfort and hope for a better tomorrow.

-----

You should have known better than to expect something to be different when you woke up. Swallowing down the disappointment and resignation, you dug yourself up from under the covers. The pain dialed down, but was very much there, especially during sudden moves.

Maybe you would feel better if you washed your face, still a bit puffed after all that--

…oh shit.

Your brain halted, torn between making you cringe and spreading the warmth through your chest. If you were to survive the day, the key was not to think about what happened last night. At least you didn’t have to look him in the eyes, huh? Armed with a smile, albeit a bit sour, you grabbed some clothes on your way out and ventured into the quiet living room.

“Neil?”

For a split second you were sure he was gone, but--

“Over here.” Judging by the sound of it, here was somewhere near the couch. “How are you feeling?”

Concern. Obviously. He’d seen you at your worst, so there was no point in hiding your state.

“Like I’ve spent some time inside a cement mixer,” you sighed. “But better, thanks. What time is it?”

“Almost 3 o’clock.” A faint thud of a book being put down. “Are you hungry? I was about to fix something.”

It was a good moment for your insides to growl in confirmation, but at least this time your body decided to spare you. Although your stomach was pretty much cleaving to your backbone, all right.

“Oh yes, please.” You smiled with appreciation and raised a hand with a bundle of clothes. “I’ll join you in a minute.”

That minute took a little longer, as your mobility was still pretty lacking, but fresh as a (beaten-up) daisy, in a comfortable outfit and a blindfold, you followed your nose to the kitchenette.

“Smells delicious.”

A soft chuckle came through the sizzling. “Hope it tastes good as well, wanna try?” When you nodded, you heard Neil walking up to you. “Open your mouth, careful - it’s hot.”

You recognized the rich flavor as some variation of the Napoli sauce, perfectly balanced, and you could only hum in approval. Where the hell had he gotten those herbs from?

“It’s amazing,” you said, but couldn’t resist a little smirk, “or I’m just starving.”

Neil scoffed lightly. “Might be that.” There was a smile and a hint of pride in his tone, and it made you beam a little wider. “Come sit down.”

When you did, and a bowl of pasta landed in front of you on the table, your mind involuntarily went back to last evening. That tension. Sudden distance. Everything after that. What was worse, it seemed like you weren’t the only one thinking about it, because the silence that fell between you now grew heavy with unresolved issues lingering in the air.

But maybe you were misreading the room and you were fine.

“Listen, about yesterday--”

...or not.

Instead of letting Neil finish, you panicked, and before you could stop yourself, you used his moment of hesitation to blurt out, “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I was exhausted and everything hurt and--” you frowned and hid the face in your palm. The shame felt like a tightening ring around your chest, making it hard to breathe. ”I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Wait, what?” huffed Neil, his voice filled with consternation. ”Jesus, no, that’s not what I meant, I--” he faltered and groaned, then added more softly, “Why are you even apologizing for that?” And when you shook your head, unable to find the right words, Neil gently touched your arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. “I’m glad you weren’t alone.”

Your heart clenched with fondness as you palmed over his hand.

“Thank you for being there for me.”

A twist of the wrist and a light squeeze on your fingers.

“Of course.”

Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

After a moment, you asked quietly, “If it isn’t about that, then what?”

A loud buzz cut through the air, the unexpected noise almost making you jump in your seat. Impeccable timing.

Neil picked the vibrating phone from the table. “It’s work, I have to get that.” His hand was still holding yours, reluctant to let go. “If I’m not done by the time you finish eating, two words: bed rest.”

“May I make it a couch rest, doc?” you grinned, and by the resigned sigh you could tell Neil definitely rolled his eyes at you.

“Just make yourself comfy and horizontal, all right?” A final brush of his thumb against your fingers and he was up, walking off from the table. “Hi, what’s up?”

Whatever they needed him for, it took so much time that you finished your meal and obediently moved to the couch. That unfinished talk left you anxious enough to nervously pick at the edge of the blanket, but as Neil was still lost in a hushed conversation, and the aforementioned blanket was way too cosy, you slowly drifted off into a dreamless nap.

You weren’t sure what woke you up - a shift on the other side of the couch, or a heavy sigh, one of those signaling the weight of the whole world on somebody’s shoulders. Hearing the latter was enough to wipe the remains of sleep from your system and you sat up, grunting slightly.

“What is it?”

Another sigh.

“I’m an idiot.”

You puffed your cheeks and shrugged, a corner of your mouth twitching in a nervous smile.

“Before I let out a purposeful no and kick you - why are you saying that?” Silence. “...Neil?” When the answer was not coming for too long, you moved to your knees, reaching out until you touched his shoulder. No reaction. Trying to keep a rising worry at bay, you urged him quietly, “Talk to me, please.”

Neil inhaled slowly and he finally spoke, his voice barely there.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” you asked, knitting your brows together as you brushed your hand down his arm only to find his clenched fist, tightening even further under your touch.

“For yesterday, for letting it out on you, when you were just--” he paused to swallow audibly, and then continued, blurting out one strained word after another, “and all of that while this whole mess is my goddamn fault because if I hadn’t hesitated out there, we both would have made it in time--”

“No, no, no, you can’t do that to yourself,” you said, crawling into his lap and nestling between his legs, wrapping yours around his waist. “It was a perfectly normal reaction.” The pulse thumped in your ears when you placed one hand on Neil’s chest and the other one travelled up along his neck to cup his face. Then your thumb glided over a wet trail on his cheek and it felt as if your heart shattered into a million pieces. Oh please, no. “My darling...” you whispered, but it was as if Neil barely acknowledged you were there, trembling and lost.

He pressed his forehead to yours and continued, traces of dread ringing in his hollow tone more and more with every choked-out sentence.

“When I turned back and I saw that--….at first, I thought you’d been shot, then you fell and-- suddenly all I could think was if your oxygen container was intact, or--... I called the Cavalry on the way down but I was so scared I was too late, I thought--” his voice broke and you felt him frowning as he shuddered, struggling to carry on. “I thought that you were gone, and I didn’t--”

His heart raced under your palm while you kept stroking his cheek, consoling him softly, “Neil, I’m here, it’s all right, I’m here.” But when that didn’t seem like enough to bring him back to you, you reached to his neck to pull him closer and kissed him, desperate to make him stop spiralling down. To make him stop hurting.

A muffled whine against your lips. But then you felt him melt and he kissed you back, still helpless, wrapping his arms around you carefully as if he expected you to fall apart under his touch. Not quite there. You deepened the kiss purposefully, burying your hands in his hair, tugging at the strands as you pressed yourself to him as much as you could in your position. You didn’t care about your own pain or discomfort. If any of you were meant to be lost in any way, it might as well be this. Neil gasped and lifted you up so you properly straddled him, then tightened the embrace, clinging on to you for dear life as he captured you in another kiss, and this time it was his turn to try to convey the unbearable mixture of despair, relief, and immense longing. All of that poured into this simple act of devotion until there was nothing but pure need. To touch and to be touched. To hold and to be held. To be close. To be wanted. To be found.

A breathless moan escaped your mouth and Neil pulled back ever so slightly.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly, his fingertips gliding over your features.

Oh, how much you missed looking into his eyes.

The fact that he cared, without simply going ahead with it, made your chest clench with fondness. At this point, you trusted him beyond reason, although it was still nice to hear it.

“I’m not made of glass,” you huffed, nuzzling his nose.

A low hum and a trail of kisses along your jawline. You shivered when his lips reached a spot just below your ear and then smiled against your skin.

“Are you sure?” his husky voice was playful, but you knew he was double-checking.

“Try me.”

That moment was not about chasing the high. It was about feeling each other. Being with one another. As close as possible. That couldn’t wait, and neither could any of you, tugging at the clothes in random order with urgency.

Neil looped his arm around your shoulders, settling you on your side in his embrace. Keeping you steady. Safe. Close. And even though his kisses were desperate and leaving you winded, his touch was gentle, and you knew the blue eyes were watching you attentively, ready to react to the smallest sign of discomfort. But also to any encouragement to go further.

A hitched breath. A leg hooked on his hip. Fingers dragged across his back.

He was ready to give you everything and take whatever you were willing to offer. And you wanted to do the same for him until everything else lost its meaning and it was just you and him, and the fire that burned inside you. Searing every nerve. Cleansing the doubts. Numbing the pain. Lighting up the darkness. And, in the end, bringing resolution as you both came undone, moaning and gasping for air only to be comforted by hands cupping cheeks and yet another kiss. Slow. Tender. Full of admiration.

When Neil drew back and shifted slightly, you whined in protest, wrapping your leg around him tighter to keep him in place.

“Where are you going?”

A quiet chuckle, followed by a feeling of a soft blanket sliding over your naked body. And a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You sighed with content as Neil pulled you closer again. The light stubble scratched your fingers as they studied the impossible angles of his face unhurriedly.

“Good.”

(next chapter ->)

[avenging-criminal-bones]

Claustrophobic

Spencer x Reader

Requested?: YES

Word Count: 2264

Warnings: Mentions of unsub, guns, violence, hurt/comfort, panic attack

A/N: SORRY! I kind of got carried away with the prompt from anon

* * * * *

If there was one thing that no one on the team knew about you, it was your extreme claustrophobia. Small spaces, dark corners, the whole nine-yards would set your off in a heartbeat. Especially if you had to share the space with someone else. 

No one knows. Not even Spencer. 

Who you’ve been dating. 

For almost a year. 

It stemmed from your childhood. Your parents had both died in a house fire when you were young, seven, to be exact. So when they were no longer there to take care of you, your uncle took you in and raised you as if you were already a trouble maker. 

There was a closet in your uncle’s house about four feet high and three feet by three feet as the interior. Relatively small. Whenever you needed to be punished of have anything done, you were locked in the closet. Some nights, he would be so wasted or hyped up on weed that he’d forget about you in there, leaving you overnight to fend for your food and bathroom situation. 

For eleven years that was the only form of correction that he’d give you, until you left. You got out of there as soon as you were eighteen. 

Which is why the current case put you in a sort of predicament. You aren’t in any sort of danger, at least not immediately, but the unsub had capture you and Spencer. He locked the both of you in a dark metal box. It must have been an old shipping container, since you’d chased the perpetrator into an abandoned warehouse. 

“Y/N?” Spencer’s voice was rough. The two of you had been drugged, just now waking up from the chloroform-induced sleep. In passing, you wondered if this was going to react badly with Spencer’s previous, forced-drug abuse. “Are you in here?”

“Y-Yeah. Spence... where-”

“I don’t know.”

You feel him shift beside you, not being able to see him due to the pitch blackness of the storage container. A moment later you feel a presence directly beside you and jump slightly. “Wh-”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Just my hand. I’m trying to gauge how wide this box is.” His voice sounds much too composed for the current situation. “Judging by the fact that I’m six foot one and my wingspan is about that same length, combined with the unfortunate reality that about three feet of my arms cannot stretch out, I’m going to guess that we are in a three by three foot container. The metallic sounds of my nails hitting the wall,” he drums his fingers a bit to show you, “means that this is a thicker metal, which translates to: no phone service.” He pauses for a second and hears the sound of your whimpering from directly in front of him. “Y/N?”

Your anxieties have been building up since you had come to your senses just a few moments before Spencer. You didn’t want to think about the fact that you were stuck in a small, dark, damp container, much like the closet from your childhood. You didn’t want to think about how you and Spencer had a shared, limited amount of air. You didn’t want to face that reality, but Spencer wouldn’t stop talking. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Spencer grabbed your hand, but you jerked away quickly, hyperventilating as your thoughts raced in your head. 

“I-No. I c-can’t. Spence- I can’t b-breathe. Please. Oh my- I can’t. I can’t.” Your words stutter out and they’re progressively getting more desperate. 

Spencer’s eyes furrow and he shakes his head, not that you could see the confusion written in his body language though in the darkness. 

“Y/N. We’re not running out of oxygen yet,” your breathing still came out in sharp pants, not relaxing by his words. “Judging by the burning alcoholic smell in my nose, and the fact that we woke up about seven minutes ago, lack of oxygen in this container, which has an area of 27 inches times three,” he works through the math in his head for a moment, “won’t be a concern for another 113 minutes.”

“No, no, no...” You whimper to yourself, murmuring no in hopes that your denial can magically open the container. “NO! I c-can’t- It’s not- Spence- it’s small... there’s no- I can’t...”

You interrupt yourself with quiet sobs, willing Spencer to understand what your problem is so you don’t have to try and explain it in your state. 

“Y/N? Are you- is this claustrophobia?” His voice is soft, trailing off at the end. He knows that panic attacks are a consistent sign of things like phobias and mental health disorders, but you’d never given him a reason to associate it to you. 

You nod your head, forgetting that he can’t see you until he repeats your name to try and prompt an answer. 

“Y-yes. I know. It’s dumb- I just... I can’t. Spence- It’s not. I just need- I can’t breathe.”

Spencer lowers his voice to a gentle lull, being careful not to startle you as he talks. “Y/N, I’m going to approach you. I’m going to rest my hand on your face, and I’m going to grab your right hand with my left, okay?”

Again, you nod first before answering him vocally, “Yeah, yes.” 

Spencer’s shoulders droop slightly, hearing the hitching in your voice mixed with the relief that you’ll let him help you. You feel a shift in the container as he switched from sitting to kneeling in front of you. He does exactly what he said he would and slowly, you sense him getting closer to you. After a moment of that, your chest heaves, your brain not allowing you to get a full breath in before it thinks you’re being attacked. His hand rests on your face then and he gently puts pressure on the back of your neck, alternating pressures with each of his fingers individually. 

“Can you feel me?” He asks gently, cooing into your ear in an attempt to calm you down. 

Not having words, you just shake your head. You don’t. You know that it’s there, but right now everything is just too much. There’s too much in your head, too many distractions running through your brain. 

Spencer reaches forward with his other hand and grabs your right hand like he said that he was going to. He places your hand over his heart, leaving his hand there when he did. 

“Y/N, you’re okay. We’re okay. I promise.”

It broke his heart to see you shattering like this. Something that Spencer had admired so, so much in you before you started dating was your fearlessness. Now it seemed like that was being torn away from you.  

Spencer rested his forehead against yours and sighed to himself as he kept his ministrations going on the back of your neck. 

Your breath hitched as you started to calm down. The hand on his chest clutched his once-nice shirt in your hand. It was wrinkled from the vice-like grip, but Spencer wouldn’t have cared. He just wants you to be okay. 

“S-Spencer, I can’t... I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe, I can’t-” Your desperate words devolved into short pants, strangled whines as you doubled over yourself, trying to find something to anchor yourself to.

“Y/N! Hey, hey, hey. Y/N it’s okay. You’re safe. You’re safe, I promise.” Spencer didn’t know what to do. His heart was breaking for you; he hated the way you were shaking so badly, and sobbing so openly. 

You sat there a few minutes with Spencer trying to calm you down. Eventually, your breathing calmed to quiet pants and hitches, and you subconsciously leaned into his hand that was cradling your face. 

You were stilled curled up, still in no position to open your eyes and look around. 

“... ‘m sorry, Spence...” You were exhausted now. There was no way you’d be able to stay awake much longer. 

“Y/N? Why are you apologizing? It’s okay to have fears. It’s okay to have crippling panic attacks. Did you know, at my niece’s birthday party last year she had a clown come?” He pauses for a second, not really expecting you to answer yet. He continues, “ Anyways, I’m deathly afraid of clowns. And this guy popped up behind me to surprise all of the children. Long story short, I had to leave early because I punched the guy in the face.”

For the first time since you two had been captured, you huffed out a short laugh. Breathlessly, you asked, “You punched a birthday clown? Oh my God, Spence.”

Spencer’s shoulders finally dropped, the tension releasing as he saw that you were slowly getting better. “Yeah, it was a catastrophe in itself.”

Reaching over, you grabbed Spencer’s hand off of his chest and held it close to your face. You snuggled up to him, ignoring the fact that he is your co-worker and this is wrong. 

“Spencer?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You sigh slightly before asking your question. “Is the team going to come for us?”

“Oh, sweetheart... Of course. Yes. They will come for us.” 

Spencer squeezed your hand in an attempt at reassurance. He could tell that your eyelids were drooping and that you were fighting to stay awake after your panic attack. 

“Get some rest, Y/N. I’ll wake you up when you need to be alert, okay?” His voice is soft as he speaks to you. 

Your eyes were finally closing, you hadn’t even responded to his request before you were drifting. 

The sound of gun shots hitting the side of the container wakes you up quickly, jerking you out of your sleeping state. 

“Spencer?!” You exclaim, sitting up fast as you tried to adjust to the darkness to look at your teammate. 

“I’m here, I’m right here.” His hand finds yours again and he subtly tugs your closer to him, trying to keep you out of harms way of a stray bullet. 

More gunshots follow, the sound of them hitting the space around you too loud, causing you to throw your hands over your ears. 

You only pull them away when you feel a hard flinch from beside you. From Spencer. 

“Spencer..? Spence?” You flip around fast, seeing his pained face. 

You can see him. 

You shouldn’t be able to see him. You were in an enclosed space... A box... No windows. 

Except for the inch-wide hole right in front of Spencer. 

The whole from the bullet. 

That was lodged in his arm. 

Spencer’s arm. 

“No... No, no, no. NO!” Without thinking, you press against the wound in his shoulder. Too close to his clavicle. Too close to him. It’s second nature to you, but even so, you whisper sorries to him ever minute for causing him pain. 

Distantly, you notice that the gunfire had died down. The only sounds now were your dry sobs and Spencer’s labored breathing. His pained groans. Because he was shot.

“Spencer, please. Please, please stay with me. Stay with me damn it. Spence!” You can’t even tell what you were saying anymore, you just knew that you were stringing pleas from your lips to your boyfriend. 

His blood was all over your hands, spilling onto the ground. He was shaking as he reached up to grab your arm. 

“Y/N... It’s okay. I’m- It’s fine.” You chose to ignore how he didn’t say that he was fine. “It’s okay. Do you h-hear that? It’s Hotch and JJ. I’m okay.”

Suddenly, you feel even worse about the anxieties from a few hours ago. Compared to this, it seemed even less important and relevant than it had then. 

“I don’t... I don’t-” You break off, covering your mouth to keep in a louder sob. Thinking, you realize that if he wants to think that the help is here, then you need to let him. In the chance that he doesn’t-

NO. You will not think about that. 

“Yeah, Spence. I hear them. They’re rounding the corner now.” 

Your tears fall openly now, with Spencer holding your hand and the dim light from the middle of the day shining through that small hole. That tiny hole that might have decided your boyfriend’s fate. 

Sure enough though, your boss runs into view of the hole and you almost let out a sob of relief. Keeping the pressure on Spencer’s shoulder, you feel him tense beneath you. “Stay awake, Reid. You stay awake. Hear me?”

He nods his head weakly just as Hotch opens the lid. Immediately, you stand up and he helps you up before sending medics in to help Spencer. As soon as you’re out of the confinements, you collapse to the ground, the reality of the situation finally hitting you. 

You knew you’d have to tell the team about your claustrophobia when it was reported in the debrief, but for now, you didn’t have any worries other than Spencer. 

You knew he was going to be okay as soon as you sat in the back of the ambulance with him and he started spewing off facts about the likelihood of a gunshot wound to the left arm below any arteries was to do any serious damage. According to him, the number was low, so you knew that if he slept it off and got the bullet removed in time, he would be just fine. 

Silently, you mouth ‘I love you’ to Reid, him already knowing it was coming. He said it back before falling into a deep, adrenaline-crash sleep, you tucking your head right next to him and doing the same thing, hoping for a better tomorrow. 

[whump-me-all-night-long]

The Jewelry Box: Amber’s Beginning pt. 3

Okay, so it is going to be at least four parts because Sapphire doesn’t know how to shut up. I’m also working on several other pieces, but I’m trying to get these first parts out before posting any of those!

Taglist: @newbornwhumperfly @unicornscotty @itsleighlove @whump-scribbles @getyourwhumphere @skunkandgrenade @penny-for-your-whump @lektric-whump @just-a-whump-lover @thelazywitchphotographer @restrainthenmaime @angstyachesplus @lilbitwhumpy @leaderofthebeanarmy @aquard-skaii @whumprincess @thatgaysnail @bluewhalewaffles @finaldreams1106 @reveriedeludesme let me know if you want to be added/removed!

CW: intimate whumper, creepy whumper, collared, multiple whumpees, lady whump/whumpees, referenced death, referenced brainwashing, long-term captivity, dehumanization, slight victim blaming, panic attack, referenced branding, cursing because Amber and Sapphire, let me know if I missed anything!

Masterlist

---

Jess banged lightly on the glass wall-door thing. “Hey!” they called. “You asshole! Come back!”

They groaned softly, resting their head against the glass as the world spun around them. They did their best to quell the panic threatening to overwhelm them. They didn’t know when the Jeweler would be back or who any of these other people were.

“Didn’t take the pill?” A low, kind voice asked.

Jess glanced up in surprise. “What?” they said, not registering the question or who spoke. 

The large dark kind man in one of the cells diagonal from them smiled. “When he offered you the pill earlier, you didn’t take it, did you?” he repeated, sympathetic.

Jess made a noise of disgust. “Hell no,” they snapped. “Who knows what that was. I’m not taking a shady ass pill from a guy who, who fucking abducted me!”

In the cell next to theirs, the angry blue one from earlier laughed. “So we finally got someone with a brain, huh?” he said, voice dripping sarcasm. “Well, not smart enough to avoid getting kidnapped.”

Jess craned their head and met the guy’s steely gaze. “Says you,” they bit back. “How long have you been here?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Seven years. How long do you think you’re going to last? I doubt you’ll even get to see your one year anniversary.” He sneered. “A pretty thing like you will get sold in no time. That’s if the Jeweler doesn’t kill you first.”

“Sapphire,” the kind one warned.

Jess had met Sapphire’s type before and expected him to ignore the other one, but to their surprise, he backed off. “Fine,” he muttered, taking a couple steps back, out of Jess’ sight. 

The purple haired woman in the cell across from Jess’ sighed dramatically. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re still crying over your little friend,” she mocked in a surprisingly high voice. 

Jess jumped as Sapphire surged forward and banged on the glass so hard it rattled. “Shut the fuck up!” he snarled. “I will fucking kill you if you even mention him again!” Jess felt a cold sliver of fear curl up in their stomach at the pure murder in Sapphire’s tone.

The woman was about to snap back when the red head a couple cells down from Jess pleaded in a sweet, low voice, “Guys, come on. Can we please not do this again?”

The green-eyed and -haired one smiled appreciatively at her. “Ruby’s right. It’s hard enough without you two at each other’s throats. Plus we have someone new.” He looked back at Jess. “What’s your name?”

Jess scowled. “Like I told crazy before, it’s-”

“No,” Sapphire quickly cut them off. “Not your real name. What’s the name the Jeweler gave you?”

Jess glared at him. “I don’t- uh, Amber, I think. But my name is-”

“-irrelevant,” Sapphire interjected once again. “That name isn’t going to help you here. You have to learn to play the game, you understand? Forget your old name, bury your memories so far down the Jeweler can’t find them. Those just, they just make it harder.”

Jess huffed out a breath. “Well, I don’t exactly plan on staying here for very long.”

Sapphire laughed coldly. “None of us do.” He pointed at each of the other Jewels. “Ruby and Amethyst have been here for four years, Emerald’s been here for eight, and I’ve been here for seven. You think any of us just woke up one day and decided ‘hey, let’s get abducted by some rando and completely lose our old life?’ No, we didn’t.”

Jess glanced at the one he hadn’t mentioned, the pale one who had smiled earlier. “What about them?” they asked with a point of their chin. 

Sapphire didn’t blink. “Diamond’s been here longer than any of us, nearly eleven years. But they’re different.” Sapphire’s scowl caused Jess to swallow hard. “They like it.” Enough contempt filled their voice that Jess didn’t pry further.

They glanced around at the others. “And none of you have, what? Ever tried to escape? Come on, you can’t just be okay with this.”

“Of course we aren’t,” the dark one, Emerald, said. “But we’ve all been here long enough to know that it’s better to fight silently than constantly try to go head to head with the Jeweler.” He tilted his head, amending, “Well, except for Sapphire, but the Jeweler likes for him to fight back.”

Jess shivered, feeling panic creeping in. “No, this is- this is crazy. This cannot possibly be happening right now. You all- you’re insane. You’ve been brainwashed into- into believing this shitfest.”

Sapphire snorted. “Of course we have. You don’t go years in captivity without a little brainwashing.” He smirked, eyeing Jess. “Don’t worry, it’ll happen to you, soon enough. Then this gets a hell of a lot easier.”

“Sapphire,” Emerald said, a warning in his voice.

Sapphire glanced at him. “What? It’s not like they won’t know soon. The Jeweler will be back for them any minute.”

Jess tried to remember how to breathe. “Wait, what’s about to happen? What the hell is going on?”

Sapphire turned his gaze back to Jess. “Just this,” he said, ignoring Emerald’s sigh and  flashing the inside of his wrist towards Jess. 

Jess leaned forwards, horror filling them. “Oh my god,” they breathed. “What is that?”

The skin on the  inside of Sapphire’s wrist was red and scarred. It was in the shape of a gemstone, with the letters JB inside of it. It looked years old and yet still very painful. Jess rubbed the inside of their wrist and, as they glanced around at the others, they saw similar - no, identical - wounds marking them all.

“They’re brands,” the purple one, Amethyst said, voice flat. “It’s how the Jeweler marks us as his property. As property of the Jewelry Box.”

“God,” Jess mumbled, backing up. They stumbled into the edge of the bed and nearly fell over it. “This- this can’t be happening. Oh god what did I have last night? This, this has got to be the craziest dream, or, or trip that I’ve ever had.” Their breaths sped up and they clutched their stomach, feeling nauseous. 

Sapphire snorted from beyond their sight. “Good luck, kid.”

“Sapphire,” Emerald said reproachfully. “You shouldn’t have told them. I know you’re still grieving, trust me, we all are, but you know it doesn’t help for them to know ahead of time.”

“You know nothing about how I’m feeling!” Sapphire snapped back, voice distorted, as if it was coming from a long ways away.

Jess moved away from the glass until their back hit the cold wall. Then, they slowly slid down, hands clutching their head. “This can’t be happening,” they whispered, squeezing their eyes shut. “This-this isn’t real.” 

It was as if there was some heavy weight on their chest, making it impossible for them to fill their lungs. Their fingers pulled at their hair until tears of pain welled up in their eyes. They bit down on their lip, trying to stay silent as their face quickly became wet. They gasped for air, fingers tightening on their scalp as they rocked slightly. 

They knew they were going to get in trouble one day, Jules had always told them that. Everyone had always told them that. But they hadn’t expected it to get this fucked up. They hadn’t expected to end up in the clutches of a psychotic murderer. This was the sort of stuff people made horror movies about, not stuff that happened in real life.

Jess didn’t know how long they stayed like that, taking one short, shallow breath after another, feeling their head spinning as they tried to make themself as small as possible, but they were suddenly aware of the silence that had fallen over the room. Where Sapphire, Emerald, and Amethyst had been arguing, now there was only the faint blowing of the air conditioning.

“Amber,” a too-gentle, too-familiar voice called softly, causing them to look up.

They saw the Jeweler standing in front of their cell, key in hand. He smiled when their eyes met. 

“It’s time for the rest of your initiation, dear,” he said, unlocking the glass door and sliding it open. Jess rose shakily to their feet, roughly scrubbing at their cheeks and scowling, all too conscious of the others staring at them. They shuffled their feet, not going any closer to the Jeweler. 

“No,” they said in a low, hoarse voice. 

The Jeweler’s smile widened. “What was that?”

“No,” Jess repeated, voice stronger. “I- I’m not going with you.”

The Jeweler tilted his head slightly. “And why is that?” 

Jess shifted on their feet. “I- I know what you’re going to do to me. And I don’t want to, to be branded like some sort of animal!” They glared at the Jeweler, who just sighed and turned his gaze towards Sapphire.

“Really?” he asked. “You know telling them beforehand always makes it worse.”

Sapphire replied in a deadpan voice, “Oops.”

The Jeweler turned his attention back to Jess, smiling again. “Now, my dear, you’re going to be coming out of that cell sooner or later. I’d much rather make this as pleasant as possible for the both of us, but I’m not afraid to make this uncomfortable for you.”

Jess just scowled. “Make me,” they bit back.

The Jeweler shrugged, fiddling with something in his hand. Then, all of a sudden, there was lightning bolting down Jess’ spine, fracturing along every nerve. It felt as if they were on fire, every inch lighting up with pain.

Then it was all over, and they were panting, palms stinging slightly from where they had fallen to their hands and knees on the ground, and the Jeweler was standing over them, that smile still on his face.

“You bastard,” Jess growled, still breathless, unable to fight back as the Jeweler attached a pair of cuffs to Jess’ wrists and ankles. “Is- is this some sort of shock collar?” Their voice was incredulous as they couldn’t believe it.

The Jeweler just patted their head, pulling them to their feet and steering them out of the cell. “I wouldn’t have had to do that if you had just cooperated in the first place,” he said cheerfully.

Jess shrunk down, head pounding and legs shaking underneath their weight, as they glanced at the others, but nobody seemed particularly surprised or inclined to step in. Emerald gave them an encouraging smile, but Sapphire shrugged like ‘I told you so.’

“Now, then,” the Jeweler said, pushing them onward. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

[tumblingdowntheway2019]

Sleepless Nights, Part Two (2).

Hello my lovelies, how are we today?

💕🤗💕

As promised, here is part two (2) of Sleepless Nights. If you have not read the first part yet, I shall link it here.

WARNING: BELOW THE CUT, THIS POST WILL CONTAIN TRIGGERS, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION/PTSD/PANIC ATTACKS/GORE, CHILD TRAUMA, TRAUMATIC EVENTS, ETC.

I MAY NOT BE GOOD AT WRITING THESE BUT EVEN THEN, IT IS BETTER TO WARN YOU JUST IN CASE.

Now then. Let's continue, shall we?

DONNA'S P.O.V (IN THE DREAM)

Unlike their parents, her sister did not hold a look of anger or malice. Instead, she stood there as radiant as ever.

It almost looked as if Bernadette had a soft glow around her as she gave of a radiant smile to Donna.

Almost as if a gentle breeze had blown, the entrance to the Beneviento Estate blew open.

Almost as if she were a statue, Bernadette did not react as all as she glides backward and through the doors. Her dress blowing gently in the unseen breeze.

Donna followed close behind as she called her sister's name, jumping down the steps and toward the path in front of her.

The faster the girl ran, the faster her sister seemed to have gotten as well.

As soon as she got to the outside elevator, Bernadette was gone. With no choice but to continue, Donna proceeds downward.

Halfway down the elevator shaft, a sudden scream was heard, scaring the girl as she tucked herself into the furthest corner and covering her head and ears.

A soft jolt indicated that it stopped, but Donna did not want to leave. She may have seen what was to come next before, but she was never prepared for what lies ahead.

She can't wake herself up. She desperately wanted to wake up. But she can't!

Another scream. Donna knew she has no choice in this nightmare and stood.

She saw the wooden doors that lead to the gardener's huts, then a suspension bridge and straight to Potter's Field and Garden.

The closer to the door Donna got, the clearer the sound of tearing flesh alongside the moans and groans got.

Pausing at the door, Donna took a different approach rather than go straight through the door. She wished she just ran past them.

The gravestone was no longer there. Instead, a massive clump of tumor lumps and tendrils with limbs stood in it's place.

The limbs and tendrils twitch violently with every gag the creature took. If it weren't for the torn pattern on the dress, Donna would not have know who that was.

A flock of crows appear and fused together to create a form of a woman. She wore dark robes, with black feathers and a golden bird head shaped mask.

"M-m-Mother Miranda....I-I-I did as you a-asked." It spoke.

"No.... Bernadette." Donna almost chokes out.

But she wasn't quiet enough.

Miranda shot her head up in Donna's direction, instantly spotting the young girl peaking through the letter box.

With a single finger, Mother Miranda pointed toward the girl as a silent order for the monster to pursue her.

Donna had no choice this time than to run back toward the elevator and upwards. The wooden door slamming open and the elevator began to ascend.

She bolts straight out and upward.

In a terrifying twist of fate or worse imagined scenario, her bloated and drowned father made his way out the basement and began stumbling towards her.

Her mother was fidgety in her movements, a stumble to the left here, a jolt forward immediately after it.

Donna made her way toward her right, up past many trees and up the path. Nearly and actually losing her footing over the tree roots and stones.

It felt like forever before Donna found herself at the top of the waterfall.

They say that if you get killed in your dream, then you would also die in the waking world too.

She turned to see all three (3) of her family member's grotesque form coming closer.

Taking a few steps back, Donna used the extra space to bolt off the edge of the cliff and fall toward the water below.

But halfway down, a huge murder of crows began to swarm around her. Swirling around her that she saw nothing but pitch black feathers.

A tight grip on her wrist startled her. Donna turned to look and saw Miranda, who's form was protruding from amongst the crows.

Extending her other arm, Donna saw the Cadou in Miranda's grip, placing it over her eye.

That's when she woke up, panting and sweating. It felt all to real.

She got up to go to the bathroom to change, hoping that the cool water will settle her racing thoughts.

As she soaked her face in water, a distinct growl was heard. She reluctantly looks at the mirror and saw ... Nothing but herself.

Her Cadou was completely flat now, nothing but it's shape remained. Along it's edges was where her older scar was barely visible. But her eye was now fused shut and no longer visible, but Donna didn't care now that the curse was gone.

Believing it to be the drain, she looked down to turn off the running water.

Before looking up again to Bernadette's Cadou mutilated form charging up into view!

LADY DIMITRISCU'S P.O.V

Lady Dimitrescu was now standing outside of her chambers, focusing on sharpening her hearing to get a better sense of where the whimper came from.

A few tense seconds go by, before she heard another one coming from her right. Or below her? She follows the noise.

Lady Dimitriscu strides downstairs, more worried than anything, but kept a calm demeanor upon her face.

She listens again when she had reached the row of chambers below hers. Another whimper was heard, echoing slightly, in the large bathroom located at the very end of the hallway.

And a very faint smell of blood.

With fear rising, The Lady of the Castle rushes toward the bathroom door and forces her way in, ready to attack whoever dared invade her castle and dare to try harm her daughters.

Instead she was met with a pitiful sight.

There, laying curled up in the corner of the room with her arms over her head and knees tucked in, was Donna.

The mother within Lady Dimitriscu took over as she rushes to the young woman, who refused to even leave the safety of the fetal position.

Alcina tried to coax her out of it, but Donna wouldn't budge. Instead she kept repeating, "My fault, it was my fault. They're right."

The mother held back tears as she gently placed a hand on Donna's shoulder. The latter having nearly scrambled back further into the wall.

She quickly realised it was Lady Dimitriscu.

The crouching 9ft 6 tall woman nearly fell back onto her back with the force the smaller woman jumped at her with.

She quickly embraced her back in assurance that everything was ok. She was there and she won't leave her down here alone.

The smell of blood was stronger now, causing the vampire lady to quickly examine the room. This was when she notices the broken mirror with thin blood trailing downward and along the cracks.

Motherly instincts took over as she gently pushed Donna back to get a better look at her.

It was heartbreaking, the poor woman breathing was hitching while trying to catch her breath.

Her white gown had splotches of red liquid on it, but mainly on the front and right sleeve.

Without another word, Lady Dimitriscu gently scoops the Doll Maker up, grabbing some cloths and another clean gown as she leaves the bathroom to take her back to her chambers.

Back in the chambers, the women were now sitting on the huge bed. Donna's injured hand was hovering over a cloth and basin of water as her adoptive mother gently removes the remaining shards of glass out of her hand.

Poor girl didn't even flinch. Just sat there, curled up with her head on her knees with her uninjured arm wrapped around them.

The wound now treated and bandaged, Lady Dimitriscu gently asked what happened.

It was here that tears were shed by the Lady, as Donna recounts her nightmares, a few hiccups and pausing in between to choke back tears

The part that finally had Lady Dimitriscu in tears now was when Donna admitted that there were many times she followed in her parents footsteps in their demise.

Many a times did she find herself of the waterfalls edge, looking into the the mist that hid the jagged rocks below.

Even after the events with Mother Miranda, she found herself there with what she thought was nothing to lose.

When she finished, Alcina took a moment to let it sink in. The fact that it had actually been going in for a MONTH was horrible and brought up a lot of guilt for not noticing sooner.

She quickly pulls the Doll Maker into a protective yet loving embrace that a mother can give. Apologising profusely for not noticing and the promise of always being there.

It was then Lady Dimitriscu clicked that a month ago, Donna had talked about her family and their demise. The poor girl had yet to actually accept that it happened and talking about it brought in the horrible guilt.

She felt the small hands grip onto her arm, it was... desperate? No, in fear of letting go.

It felt like forever before Donna looked up at her mother again, tears staining down her even more paler cheeks.

Once again, motherly instincts had The Lady gently wipe the away with her thumbs, as Donna leaned her head into the bigger hand. Which meant that thankfully, she was calmer now.

Alcina knew this meant that Donna will now be now submitting to her instincts to become mute and elusive again for a while. But it was ok, she will always stay nearby to assure her daughter that she is there when she is needed.

She finally let go of all her bottled up emotions, frustrations and fears that now meant that the path to recovery can finally begin.

Alcina noticed Donna's heavy eye closing and leaning into her hand more. She places the medical equipment and clothes onto the cabinet beside the bed, before positioning herself to lean against the pillows and pulling Donna into an embrace before turning off the oil lamp.

And so for the first time in a month, the Weaver finally had a peaceful slumber, wrapped up in the protective and loving embrace of the Dragon's wings.

____________________

As promised my lovelies, Part Two (2) of Sleepless Nights.

The reason behind this was to bring up awareness that just because someone who experienced traumatic events, mental illnesses or had thoughts of/attempted suicide, etc, may seem happy, that may very well may not be the case permanently.

Those sort of things will always lay dormant and all it takes is a simple trigger to bring about those thoughts all over again.

As was the case with Donna here.

But it may also effect those closest to you because the could end up feeling so guilty in not being able to help and not noticing. Even if it's just by listening.

As I had said before, I may not be the best writer, but I did want to bring some awareness about the dangers and effects of mental health.

Remember guys, you are not alone. Yes, the world ain't all dark clouds and rain, but it also ain't all sunshine and rainbows either. It's those little rays of sunshine that makes all the difference to one's day really.

There will always be one person who will be there to listen, as will I.

💕🤗💕 💪😎💕

There will be one more part to this, but it won't be called "Sleepless Nights". I'll get that out as soon as I can in the coming days.

If you wish to use the H.Cs for art, stories and such, always feel free to! All I ask in return is credit for the H.Cs and to be tagged to see it when it is done! 💕🤗💕

Love you guys and I hope you have a pleasant morning/afternoon/evening/night. 💪😎💕

[tobis-world-andstuff]

Warlord

Pairing: Warlord!August Walkerx Female Character

Warnings: NSFW!! CNC!! Bondage, Degradation, Temperature play (Ice), Knife Play, Bodily Fluids

Tiny hint of fluffy August

It had been a long day hunting. I was so ready to slip into my bed, curl a blanket around me, and drift to sleep. I sighed and smiled as I got under the blankets, leaned over, and blew out the lamp next to my bed.The texture of the sheets on my skin was soothing. Leaning back in my bed, stretching out my shoulders, I ran my fingers through the blankets around me, imagining that I were floating in the clouds as I drifted to sleep.

I woke up with a start, my heart racing. Had I heard something in the room? Shh, breathe, I told myself. It was probably just someone stirring in the neighboring room, as usual. I breathed slowly for a few moments, listening. I had somehow gotten into an uncomfortable position in my sleep, but I stayed still for a moment, listening.

A panic rushed through me as I realized that I could hear nothing from the room beside mine. It's alright, I thought, you're overthinking this. I'll just relight the lamp. I figured that if I did that, then I could comfort myself, knowing my deepest fears would not be realized.

And then I stopped dead, my heart racing again.

It hit me.

I couldn't move.

My hands were immobile. I ran my fingers over my wrists, only to feel that they were held in some kind of thick vine. After a beat, I began thrashing around, trying to get myself out of the bed. All my thoughts were on getting to the door.

"Looks like someone's awake," a cold voice taunted me. The voice sounded familiar, but i couldn’t place it.

I should have yelled, screamed, but the words stuck in my throat. I was still flailing, somehow tangled in my sheets.

I heard the man get up from the corner of the room. A large man with a thick beard covering most of his face was sitting over me on the bed. Lying below him, I felt pathetic. All he had tied me with were handcuffs, and yet I was frozen in place, I wished he would relight the lamp so I could see the mans face

He reached down, rummaging through something on the floor, and pulled out a blindfold.

Finally I found my voice. "No no no no you can't do this!" I screamed. I sat up and tried to kick him. In an instant, he had pinned me down on my back and was on top of me. My hands were stuck behind my back because of the handcuffs, and he pinned down my legs with his knees. I shook my head back and forth so he couldn't blindfold me. Suddenly, he grabbed my face and I felt two strong, rough hands on my cheeks, insisting that I stay in place, controlling me. I gazed at him. His eyes were fierce, intense, and I knew then that he would have his way with me.His eyes were the only thing I could see properly, the intense colour, bore a hole into my soul.

Then I glanced down, and my eyes widened as I saw the outline of a tent forming in his jeans, larger and more threatening than I could have imagined. I was now partially thankful for the lack of light, the outline of his package in the dark was more than I knew I could ever handle.

And it was the last thing I saw before he veiled me in darkness. I could feel him lying on top of me as he snapped the blindfold in place over me. His breathing was heavy on my chest and rapid, as if he were hunting his prey—me. As he was leaning over me, I could feel his hardness pressing against my stomach.

I whimpered.

"What's that?" he spat out, his voice close to my ear.

"Please," I croaked. "Please don't hurt me."

I felt his hands on my shoulders now, pinning me in place.

"I won't hurt you," he whispered in my ear.

I exhaled.

"If you do what I say."

I whimpered again, louder now, but no words came out.

He pinched my nipple and I yelped. "You beg me not to, but I think you're a little slut," he taunted.

"Now. I'm going to take your clothes off. The first thing you'd better do," he continued, gliding a finger over my lips, "is keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut while I expose you. Don't say a word. Nod if you understand."

Shaking, I nodded.

"Good, little slut."

I wanted to scream. My teeth clamped down on my lip.

"Now stay still."

He dismounted me for a moment, and then got back on me. I felt something cold and thin on my stomach, and heard the rip of the fabric of my shirt as my attacker cut open my shirt. I flinched when I felt the tip of the knife touch my neck, causing the blade to nick my neck slightly. The air was cold on my breasts and on my stomach.

"Mmm," he moaned, his rough hands making their way over me. I was panting, trying to keep silent.

He flipped me over onto my stomach to view me from behind, I felt so vulnerable, so weak, my face crammed into the pillow. Still, I stayed frozen.

And then slowly, gently, I felt his fingers hook into the waistband of my underwear. I don't know what came over me, but as I started to feel my underwear slip off, I screamed. I screamed at him instead of for help.

"No! No! You can't! Just leave them on! Leave those on!" I started kicking, my legs flailing around, trying to get him.

"I don't respond to no." He grabbed my legs and tucked one of his over mine, immobilizing me. Then he put a hand on the small of my back, pushing me back into the sheets. I was over his knees now, and I felt exposed and humiliated.

"What did I tell you, slut, about making noise?" His tone was almost mocking.

I moaned and whined, but said no words.

"Answer me," he demanded.

"Keep my mouth shut."

"Good. Or else?"

"Um, I don't know."

"Sluts who don't follow rules get punished, you know." The singsong tone was back. And with that, he continued pulling my underwear down, and now there was nothing I could do. With his other hand, he took hold of my face, pushing it into the pillow. "Keep quiet. If you're too loud, I'm starting over from 1."

Meanwhile, below my waistband, I felt his cold hands massaging my cheeks. All of a sudden, I felt a slap land on my exposed behind and I yelped, the pillow swallowing my spit.

"Please, no!" I shrieked, muffled.

He slapped me again and I squirmed, trying to free myself.

"Sluts who don't listen get punished." His hands massaged me there again.

Then his hand came down on me.

I moaned and yelped. The pain was coursing through my legs, stinging.

"Quiet, slut. We're not stopping until 10. If you're good."

The next one was harder. Then three times in a row. I let out a whine and I started to feel wetness between my legs.

He stopped. I could feel myself panting, and my body was tense. I had lost count, so I wondered if my punishment was up. I took a deep breath and tried to relax my body.

Suddenly, he hit me harder than he had before. I shivered, and the stinging sensation crept through me.

"Does this feel good, slut?"

I shook my head violently, but even then I doubted myself.

"Last two," he said, and then delivered them, massaging me in between each one, torturing me with the anticipation of each one.

For a moment, we were silent. Exhausted, I inhaled slowly and absorbed the moment. I listened to the rise and fall of his breath, listened to the ticking of the clock on the wall.

I felt him turn and mount me from behind, so his body was in line with mine, but I was still on my stomach. My breathing was clamped, his body pressing heavy on me. "Did that feel good, slut?" he repeated, whispering into my ear.

"No," I panted.

"Really?" he teased. My body tensed as he reached around, his hand sliding down my stomach, down, down, between my legs. I shuddered as his fingers played with the wetness he found there. "It feels like you did enjoy it."

"No, no," I whimpered, sparks flooding through my body. "Of course not."

"Alright," he indulged me, "of course not. But how about this, then, little slut?" he asked, his fingers relentless on my clit.

I was shaking and I couldn't answer.

He kissed the side of my face briefly, holding me there, whispering in my ear. "Good little slut. You know it feels good. Mmmhmm. You're mine right now, little slut. All mine. To tease and to play with as I like."

My whole body was shaking, limp. The sensations on my clit were too much.

"Guess what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to take your pretty little legs, and hold them apart. And then I'll put my cock in you and fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you again and again and again and again, in and out and in and out, and you'll take all of me, no matter how much you scream, I won't stop, I'll keep going."

I moaned, my orgasm nearing, so close.

And then he stopped.

"Please, please," I moaned. No response.

I whimpered as he flipped me over, laying me on my back again. My body limp, I felt him adjust the hand cuffs, and I realized he was spreading my arms out. I heard the bed frame react as he got off the bed. He grabbed my feet, one by one even as I kicked around, and cuffed them, spreading them out. I was spread-eagle on the bed.

When he climbed back on me, I felt him lean over me, close to my face. "Open your mouth." Too tired to resist, I complied. "Good slut." I felt a piece of fabric enter my mouth, and his hands reach around me to tie it behind my head to keep it in place in my mouth. "This should keep you quiet."

My insides were on fire with the orgasm that hadn't come to me. I flailed, pulling on the restraints. Nothing gave. He dismounted me, and I started shrieking and crying through the gag as I heard him leave the room.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard him come back into the room.

"Miss me, slut?"

I resented him. My insides wanted to fight back, to destroy him. I stayed silent, indignant.

"Oh, so now you don't react. Still sad about that orgasm, are you?"

I made no sound.

"This should help."

I shuddered, and I realized he had put ice on my clit. I recoiled, squirming, trying to get away, but he held it in place, relentless, his hand with the melting ice over my clit. The cold water trailed down between my legs and I couldn't stop flailing.

I didn't miss my orgasm anymore.

After he decided it was enough, he removed the ice. I was just slowing my breathing and panting when I froze suddenly, hearing the sound of a belt opening and a zipper opening. He put his body on me, his weight pressing me into the bed again. Between my legs I could feel him, hard and angry and ready, and my heart was racing. I felt his hand wrap around my throat, choking me just a little.

"Here's what sluts like you get," he taunted into my ear. Slowly, I felt him enter me. I whimpered and moaned because I could feel that he was too big, too much, and this was going to hurt.

I tried to scream "please, no," but it sounded like gibberish through the gag. He laughed, continuing to make his way inside me, and I could feel tears forming under my blindfold.

I was full and I felt split open and he was all too much. I was thrashing around, but his body on me was relentless. "Here's what sluts like you get," he repeated, and I felt him slowly pull out of me. I exhaled.

Suddenly, he thrust himself inside me, and the pain flooded through me all over again. I screamed into the gag, spit foaming at the edges of my lips. He thrust again and again and again, and I screamed and screamed and screamed, muffled by the gag.

"I think you're enjoying this, my little slut."

I shook my head violently, responding as he kept on forcing himself inside of me, tearing me open. I clamped myself shut as if I could eject him, but he thrust with even more force.

"I think you like this." He ran his fingers over my throat, and then gripped it again, pressing me into the sheets.

The truth was that my clit was throbbing. He wasn't touching it at all, and that was torturing me almost as much as the pounding I was taking.

Suddenly, he let out a small moan, and I realized he was breathing more heavily and tensing up. Would he cum inside me? I panicked, moaning and screaming into the gag.

"You're very good, slut—" he let out between heavy breaths, "I'm gonna—I think I'm gonna cum."

I tried to kick him off me, but I was no use against the restraints and his body weight. Instead, I endured the thrusting, feeling him in and out and in and out, my body igniting again, unable to stop or control him.

I screamed and his grip on my throat tightened as I felt him shake and ropes of his cum pour into me.

I squirmed as I felt him thrust, one, two, three last times, slower but with more force.

He lay on top of me, spent, both of us panting, for a few moments.

My clit was still throbbing.

"Good girl," he whispered, kissing the side of my neck, and pulling out of me. "Let's get you a reward, huh?"

His fingers delicately reached down, tugging on my clit. He pulled his fingers back and forth, then in circles, massaging me. I started shaking. "Sensitive, huh?" he asked. I nodded. Then he picked up speed, his fingers back and forth and back and forth on my clit, bringing me back to where I was before.

I whimpered with pleasure into the gag, feeling my body shake. I tried to resist the sensations his fingers were bringing me, but I could feel my clit begging his fingers for more, sending ripples through my body. He was relentless, and no matter how much I thrashed around, his fingers drove my clit hard.

"Go on, you can cum for me," he whispered. I moaned as my orgasm rolled over me, in wave after wave after wave, and he kept his fingers pressed to me until he felt me fall back into the bed, my breathing heavy.

We lay there like that for a moment, him over me, us both spent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let's get these off," he said, gently pulling out the gag. I gazed at him as he undid my wrists and ankles. Once I was free, he pulled me into his embrace. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, trying to collect his warmth.

"How was that for you?"

"It was really good. I love how you choke me a little. And I was not expecting the orgasm denial. Nice."

"You didn't forget the safe word?"

"Of course I didn't."

"Okay. Sometimes I get worried when you say 'no' in these scenes. That's why I said 'I don't respond to no.' I wanted to remind you that that wasn't the word here."

I touched his face. "Thank you for looking out for me. But I got it—you don't need to worry. You know that when I actually want you to stop, I say the safeword."

"Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah." He inhaled. "So how are you right now?"

I smiled, looking up at him through a haze. "I'm okay. I feel really out of it right now, but that was really good."

He kissed my forehead. "What would feel good right now? I can hold you here for a bit, and then maybe you can have a warm bath?"

"Yes, I like that idea. Can we get something to eat after?"

"Of course."

I smiled. I was glowing, radiant.

“August?”

“Yes?” he mumbled gruffly in my ear

“I love you…” Neither of us had said it before but now felt like the time “I’m glad you didn’t marry that brother fucking whore”

“Who knew the one I really wanted was my right hand woman? The woman I had treated like one of my foot soldiers, the woman I let fix up any wounds” I felt him smile as he spoke “I love you too Eleanor. My red haired slut” He placed a kiss to the back of my neck as I slipped into a peaceful sleep.

[birdsandspades]

Ice Pack (A Todoroki Shoto Oneshot)

-The dorm is fresh out of ice packs. Lucky for you someone happens to know where to find one. 

Word Count- 3,122

*This is my first BNHA fanfiction so i’m sorry if its crumby. I just think Todoroki is really neat. 

----

You pressed a finger into the skin of your arm, hissing as the red gave way to white. Turning around, you looked over the rest of your body in the gym bathroom mirror.

“I think this is my worst sunburn yet. I really should have put on more sunscreen…” You frowned, wrapping a towel around your body. 

Your quirk had been a wonderful gift, the first in a long line of quirkless family members. The day you manifested it you could have sworn your father cried. 

“A hero, we're gonna have a hero in the family!” 

You remembered the fond words as you looked down at the pile of clothes on the locker room bench. It sure didn’t feel like a gift right now. You picked up your shirt, inching it over your burning skin. Each scape of the fabric drawing out a new string of curses. 

“Hey, are you dressed yet, Mina is wait...oww,” Jiro looked over your reddened back, wincing as you pulled the shirt over it.

 “Yeah, oww”, you sulked. You glared down at your pants, not ready to endure the pain they would cause your legs. 

“Tell me again how your quirk does all of that again.” She motioned to the entirety of your burned body. 

“Well, I'm like a solar flare. My body stores a large amount of heat, and if I save up enough of it I can make flames. If I have a big enough amount of it I can even produce light.” 

She nodded along, shuttering as you shimmied into your jeans. 

“But the more I use it, the more I'm exposed to the UV radiation I'm putting off. Eventually, if I use it too much. Well, I get this stupid sunburn.” 

“I still don’t get why you get so burnt, didn’t the department of support make you that sunscreen a few months ago for it?” She gave off a chuckle, recoiling at the faces you were making while you slid on your shoes. 

 “Yeah, but I don’t think it’s working…” , you trailed off, looking at the bottle of sun protectant stuffed in your gym bag. You picked up the rest of your belongings, motioning towards the door. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow, let's just go back to the dorms so I can take these things off again.” 

Jiro held open the door, laughing as you waddled past her. 

----

You stepped into the common room, smiling at your classmates sitting on the couch. 

“Who ordered the L/N F/N, extra burnt?”,Sero teased from his seat, elbowing a giggling Denki.

You gave him a sarcastic laugh, throwing your gym bag at him.

Kirishima turned his attention away from the t.v, his eyes slowly roaming over your red arms. “Hey L/N-chan, how was training…?” 

You gave him a sad smile, “Exhausting, but I think I finally got my flashbang technique down!” 

“Jesus Glowstick…”, Bakugou walked past you from the laundry room, an amused smile tugging at his lips as he pressed a rough hand onto your forearm. 

You smacked him away, cursing at the now burning skin. You looked up, meeting his glare as he walked off down the hallway. You hated that nickname and he knew it. He had picked it out after the licensing exam, going as far as to even suggest it for your permanent hero name. Most people thought he chose it after your quirk, you did after all have a nifty move called glow. You had made yourself useful during the search and rescue part of the exam, using your quirk to illuminate your body as you searched for survivors among the rubble. Many of the students had commented on it after the exam, envious of the power giving you such a high boost on your score. But Bakugou had chosen the nickname for a different reason.

He had had the pleasure of running into you after the exam later that night in the kitchen. Your body red and raw from over exerting yourself during the test. “You're so red you're practically glowing. You should get a support item if your weaknesses are that obvious Glowstick ” , he mocked, poking your sunburn and he walked past you to the common room. 

“I’m going to grab some ice packs from the freezer and call it a night.” You patted Jiro on the back before walking to the kitchen. 

----

You had been looking for the ice packs for about twenty minutes when Midoriya walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Midoriya-kun, have you seen the ice packs? I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t seem to find them.” You pulled your head out of the freezer, turning to him. 

He gave you a sheepish smile, holding up the warm gel packs. “I’m sorry L/N-chan, I took them out last night and forgot to put them back when I woke up.” 

You shut the freezer door, taking the packs from his hand. You squished a few of the warm beads around the plastic, sighing in defeat. “It’s ok, i’ll use a water bottle or something.”

You trudged past him out of the kitchen and towards the dorm rooms. Usually your sunburns only lasted a few days tops, but this one felt different. The heat radiating off of it alone was enough to tell you that it was deep. You really should have put on more sunscreen. 

You bumped into a stationary mass, the points of contact stinging as you looked up.

Todoroki’s hold on his phone slipped as it fell to the ground. “I’m sorry L/N-chan, I was reading something on the news.” His gaze fell on you, taking in the fluorescent flush of your skin. “Your sunburnt.” 

You took a step back, looking away in an attempt to hide the rising heat in your cheeks. “No, I'm sorry Todoroki-kun, I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you ok?” You reached down, picking up his phone. 

“You should use the ice packs in the freezer.” He slipped the phone out of your hand, careful not to graze your sensitive skin. “ It might help with the discomfort.” 

“Oh, Midoriya was using them so they are warm now. I’m gonna use this water bottle for a bit.” You shook the bottle, giving him a soft smile. “I’m sorry I made you drop your phone, I hope it's ok!” You shimmied around him, giving him an awkward wave as you made for your dorm room. 

Todoroki raised his hand slightly, watching as you rushed down the hallway.

----

You had been working on your homework for a few hours in an attempt to keep your mind off the multi toned boy down the hall. You groaned, letting your head fall on the table. The second hand embarrassment burning the skin on your neck further. Functioning had not been at the forefront of your mind when your eyes met his in the hallway. That was painfully obvious as you replayed your awkward retreat over in your head. 

“You could have just talked to him, it's not that hard to talk to people F/N. He was being nice and you ran away.”

You continued to grumble to yourself, angry that once again your lack of social skills had robbed you of an opportunity to talk to your crush. 

This hadn’t been the first time you had made a fool of yourself in front of Todoroki, nore the second or third. The boy seemed to be a magnet for your most awkward encounters. 

----

You could remember the first time he talked to you. You were standing in the tunnel waiting for the first of the sports festival games to begin, the echo of the audience ringing through your ears. You peaked your head out from the entrance, scanning over the sea of people in the stands. You could feel your heartbeat quicken, the thumping in your ears deafening as you cowered back into the tunnel.

A warm hand on your shoulder pulled you out of your eclipsing panic attack, the sound finally coming back to your ears as you looked up. 

“I heard that if you picture everyone in underwear, it makes it less scary. I don’t understand why, but maybe it will help?” 

Your eyes met a familiar mismatched set, the hardness you were used to was replaced with concern as he looked over you. 

You had grown attached to them in the time you had spent in class together, the small glimpses you caught stirring the butterflies in your stomach everytime they looked your way. 

The fluttering in your stomach started to stir per usual, the lump in your throat expanding as you searched the crevices of your brain for something to say. 

“Hi.”

He gave you a confused look, “Hi.” Shifting on his feet, he stood in silence. As if waiting for you to say something else. After a moment he gave you a small nod, disappearing into the crowd of waiting students.

----

A soft knock on your door startled you, your knee bumping into the underside of your desk. 

Standing up , you rubbed the stinging skin as you walked over to the door. Turning the knob, you pulled it open. 

“Hi Todoroki-kun.”, you stared at the boy in front of you. Unsure what warranted a visit so late at night, or really at all. 

“Hi L/N-chan.” His look was blank as he stared back at you. He shifted on his feet slightly, pushing his hands into his pocket.

“Um, is there something you need…?”, you broke the silence finally. Your eyes met his once again before looking away, focusing on the door behind him. 

“I wanted to bring you the ice packs from the freezer…”, he trailed off, looking down the hallway. “But they were gone again. So I figured, I could offer you a hand instead.” He extended his right hand a bit, offering it to you. 

You looked between him and his hand a few times, trying to connect just what exactly he ment. “Um, it’s ok Todoroki-kun. It’s late and you're probably really sleepy! Plus it doesn’t hurt that much anymore, so you don’t need to worry about it! I have my water bottle and I can…” 

He reached up, pressing his cold palm to your forehead. Your mind calmed as the soothing feeling sunk into your skin. You closed your eyes, leaning into his hand. Letting out a soft sigh, your hands reached up, circling around his wrist as you pulled him closer.

“I used to do this whenever my siblings were sick. They said it made their fevers feel better, is it helping you too?” He craned his neck, peeking under his arm to see your face. 

You gave him a small nod, sinking into his touch. The first bit of relief washing over your body.

He looked behind you at the desk, opened books and worksheets scattered across it. “I can help you with your homework as well if you like?” 

You opened your eyes, blushing as you met his own. You couldn’t help it. The way he tilted his head, the childlike curiosity that tinted his eyes as he watched you cling to his hand. 

“I don’t want to be a burden…”

“You're not.” He stated bluntly, gently pulling his hand away. 

You took a step back, opening the door wider for him to come in. 

He took a step inside, closing the door behind him. “You didn’t show your room when we did the room contest.” He was scanning over your bedroom, taking in all the things that made it yours. 

“Oh, um. I was kinda late getting moved in so mine wasn’t unpacked yet.” You played with your finger, watching as he walked over to your bookshelves. “It’s mostly manga, I don’t know if…”

“I like manga too.”, Todoroki looked back at you, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “Your room is nice, I think you would have won.” 

“Ah, probably not. Everyone has such fun rooms, mine is pretty bland in comparison.” You waved your hands at the thought, giggling awkwardly. Your eyes went wide as Todoroki unzipped his jacket, sliding it off his shoulders. He draped it over the back of the desk chair before pulling it out to sit down. 

“My jacket is insulated, you wouldn’t really feel my quirk through it.” He stated plainly, unaware of why you were staring at him. 

You gave him a simple “Oh” , before sitting down at the seat across from him. At least he was wearing a tanktop, but that wasn’t helping much either. You turned your attention to the math book in front of you, forcing your gaze off of him. 

He gave you a weird look, watching as you got out your worksheets. Pushing out his seat he walked around the table. Grabbing the chair next to you he pulled it closer before sitting down again. “I can’t reach you from over there.”

Your body tensed up as his shoulder rubber yours, the coolness of his exposed skin slowly permeating your shirt. 

He reached his arm around you, pulling you into his right side. His hand gingerly snaking up the sleeve of your shirt, as he caressed your heated arm. 

“How much have you done so far?” He used his left hand to flip through your papers, looking over the work you had completed. 

“Only a few problems.” You mumbled, looking down at your hands under the table. 

“Hm?” He leaned in closer, his eyebrow raised as he tried to understand whatever you had just muttered out. 

“J-just a few.” You spoke a little louder, earning a nod from him as he turned to the next page of your book. 

He slid the paper over to you, motioning for you to start so he could watch your work. 

You sat there for a moment, looking at your book. “Um Todoroki-kun, i’m right handed.”

His eyes shot open, letting go of your arm. “I’m sorry, go ahead.” Crimson creeped up his cheeks as he rested his hand back in his lap, unsure where to put it at that point.

----

He watched you work over a few problems, correcting you as mistakes popped up. He had a way of explaining this that just made everything make sense, if he had been teaching the class maybe you would have had a better grade by now. 

After a while you were out of homework to work on, the silence settling between you both as you packed up your books for class the next day.

“Thank you for helping me Todoroki-kun, I don’t think I could have finished it without you.” You turned towards him, offering him a small smile. 

“I enjoyed helping you, thank you for letting me.” He returned the smile, chuckling lightly. 

Your lips parted slightly, blinking slightly at the sight before you. You were in awe, not only had you seen him smile twice in one night, but that was the first time hearing him laugh as well. Heat blossomed up your cheeks as you gawked at the now very confused boy in front of you . 

Todoroki reached out, palming your face as if it was a ball. “I think your sunburn is getting worse. You look even redder.” 

“That isn’t the sunburn…” Your words were muddled by the hand over your face, the concerned look in his eyes visible through his spread finger.

He pulled back, clearly flustered by the mistake. “ O-Oh, i’m sorry.” He stuttered out, avoiding the amused look on your face. 

You reached for his right hand, bringing it back up to your cheek. “It’s ok, I didn’t mind.” 

He chewed on the inside of his lip, lost in thought as he searched your eyes. He had never been good with social cues, he could blame that on his father. But right now, it felt a lot like what he thought reciprocated feelings would be like. He ran his thumb over the skin of your cheek, wishing his other hand was just as cold. If it had been then he could have cradled your face, touched you just a bit more. 

You looked down at his left hand, his fist clenched around the fabric of his sweatpants. You reached down, pulling it away from it's grip and up to the other side of your face.

He was hesitant to touch you with it, the heat from it was sure to cause you irritation. That's what it had always done for him, an uncomfortable reminder of why his mother was no longer home. What had hurt those closest to him. What he didn’t want to be. 

He ghosted the tips over your cheek, testing the waters. He watched for a reaction, searching your face for uncertainty. When he saw none he closed the gap, letting the reservations pass as the anxiety melted out of him. 

You were naturally warm, just like him. He had felt it on multiple occasions. The arm brushes in the hallway, the finger grazes when he handed you something, the radiating heat he could feel just from being near you. He liked it, you were like the sun to him. That little bit of warmth kept him going most days, but he was getting addicted. But what would more feel like? Would you want more, would you want him?

You could see from the look in his eyes that he was debating something. Weighing the options in front of him. You reached out cupping his cheeks with your own hands. You ran your thumb over the bottom of his scar, his skin soft as it gave way to the soft pressure of your fingers.

He relaxed into your touch, whatever had been plaguing his thoughts was no more.

“Todoroki?” 

He hummed in reply, eyes still closed. 

“Can I kiss you?”

He opened his eyes, giving you a skeptical look. He opened his mouth to speak before shutting it again. Shaking his head he let out a soft chuckle. 

He leaned in, brushing his lips over your own. “I should have asked you that.” His lips met your own, molding to the shape of the smile that tugged at the corners.

His were warm, the perfect temperature between hot and cold. He lingered for a moment, extending the duration of the contact. No one wanted to pull away, but the need to breathe was bubbling up. 

You stared at him breathless, speechless as you processed the lasting heat on your lips. 

“Todoroki I…” 

He cut you off, “I can stay a bit longer if you want. You're still pretty warm.” He gave you a shy smile, taking your hand in his own. 

You smiled brightly, squeezing his hand in yours. “I would like that.”