#i just need it to be friday afternoon
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Over stressed from work bullshit and not feeling well as result.
So tried my hand at pastina soup because everything hurts and I'm just tired to my core.
For something so simple, it's so delicious. Already ate two bowls and I feel sort of human again. Might actually be able to relax enough to sleep more than two hours tonight.
Just gotta make it through one more shift and I'm off for 5 days that I'm going to spend up north with my parents.
#personal#been hella shortstaffed and my boss keeps dipping out or only working like 4 to 6 hours shifts while the other manager and i#are trying to keep the stupid store together and do a bunch of shit at once#between call outs and 3 people just quitting its been hard#got to work early wednesday and had a breakdown in my office...thought i was by myself#turns out couple of my team mebers were there and they got very concerned because they know ive been running around pulling all this OT#to try to keep things from totally spiraling and its just not working#they cornered me at end of my shift to make me go home and told me i couldnt do ot that day because i needed to rest#i just need it to be friday afternoon#going up north and be in the woods. everything is near fall peak colors#and we gonna drive up to the UP where its full blown right now and i am exciteeedd#ita gonna be so pretty and far from heereeee.#already told my boss im ignoring all texts or calls from work#sooonnn
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I am such an unintellectual. Rewatching Friday Night Dinner in 2024 and it still makes me cry laughing.
#I watched two (2) very artsy movies this afternoon#I need this#and now I'm watching The Way#gotta have some levity#friday night dinner#they're just so STUPID it's fun
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((I'm gonna try to be around a little bit today, so let me know if you want me to send memes your way!!!
This goes for people I'm already writing with AND anyone I haven't had a chance to write with yet, by the way <3))
#ooc.#((I'm still just sticking to Rogue's blog for the moment. I need to get back into the habit of being here in general before I start hopping#between blogs again.#The intent was to be able to go between this and Cass's blog by this week or next but#GUESS WHO'S STUCK WORKING BOTH SHIFTS EVERY NIGHT AGAIN BECAUSE I DARED GET BACK INTO WRITING?????????#So she's gonna have to wait. Hopefully the guy we're covering for will come back soon but he's having some serious#medical issues so I think he's out the rest of the year. Someone on first shift is also out the rest of the year with health issues#which means that shift is also a TON more stressful now.#BUT I'll try to be here on Sundays and every other Saturday (pay week Saturdays are for grocery shopping and such#so I'm usually gone most of the day then and then get back in time to prep for game nights).#Also got my first tattoo a few weeks ago and I'm starting work on the first of 2 SW arm bands this Friday afternoon.#Only mentioning it because I'm excited about it. I've wanted this for literally like 8 years and just never had the money / time to do it!)
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just realized just how many huge fucking deadlines r looming over me and how little time i have to complete them and oh my god. oh my god. i think i might need to tear a piece of my skull off
#essay due tomorrow. essay revision due friday afternoon. really difficult quiz that i need to take at some point over the weekend. essay due#monday. off book day monday and i only have 1 out of 3 acts half-memorized so far. oh i think i might just kill myself .#AND i have to drive 7 hours on friday and 7 hours on sunday so those days are fucking wasted yalllll it isn't looking good#hello world
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is it not hard to just wear a mask? or call out if you don’t feel well? “oh i only felt a little off” wear a fucking mask or call out i don’t give a shit. “it’s not that big a deal” if you go out somewhere sick with no safety measures to protect other people you need to know you could potentially kill someone and i know this because people close to me have died because someone wasn’t careful when they got sick and went out and spread it
#my birthday is in 6 days and i was just informed one of my coworkers yesterday had early symptoms and tested positive today#i have 4 tests at least so i’ll probably test tomorrow afternoon (that’ll be 48 hours) and then again friday morning#im just tired of this. ‘i didn’t feel that sick when i went out’ I don’t give a rats ass#if you’re even feeling remotely sick and can’t get out of going somewhere you at minimum need to be fully masked up#if you go out sick and didn’t mask i hope it stays on your conscience forever#I hope it haunts you every day that you could’ve ended someone’s life#and i mean that genuinely. i hope you never escape your thoughts that you could’ve killed someone#coronavirus
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trying to not to bawl my eyes out because i accidentally called my best friend’s house “home” and her husband said “it can be your home, we can be your home”
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#y’all they just left to go to his grandma’s for christmas dinner for an hour or two#and i am laying on the guest bed staring at the ceiling trying not to fucking cry lmao#these two neurotypical heterosexuals really just basically adopted me (his wife is only one year older than me - 32 - and he just turned 26#it’s fine i’m fine i am gonna lay here and doze a bit until 5ish and then head home#hopefully my father will be at my sister’s house until late tonight having christmas dinner#i wanna do laundry and some pet chores and just simply fucking exist without him for a bit lmao#i adore my father very much and he is very good to me but i just. need. some. fucking. space. and privacy.#it’s okay i am coming back here friday afternoon before work to check on their furbabies#and then after work i am coming back here to spend the night and petsit#so i will have some privacy then ✨#and i’m coming over at 7ish on new year’s eve because i have both new year’s eve and new year’s day off#so we gonna hang out and probably drink a bit and get high etc etc etc
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#Want to be so so mad about something today lol :’)#I need someone to rant at I guess#but I’ve been trying so hard to give up ranting#ugh. emotionally constipated on this extremely dreary grey and heavy Friday afternoon.#guess I’ll just go back to reading my Dorothy Sayers novel and listening to the birds outside#who persist in singing despite the drizzle#delete later
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#starting to feel Real Anxious about my final assignments im so fucking stupidjfkddi#naurr cuz i feel it it my stomach this is NOT looking good i dont know how im gonna make everything but i just know that i gotta find a way#djdkdkdj this is NOT LOOKING GOOD I REPEAT I THINK im gonna get into an anxious episode which means im gonna feel like im about to have a#heart attack during the entire time im awake and im not gonna be able to sleep bc of it#nxnxxjdj this is great!!! and tem what's funnier is that i set myself up cuz i HAD time i HAD TIME i just didn't have the will#whats tem omg but anyways i feeeel it i feel it im gonna start feeling so bad tomorrow#ughim so fuckiggndn stupid#need to write an 8 page internship report due Thursday#a two page final assignment for history class due Wednesday#a group thingie due friday... i dont know if im gonna have the brains to write all of this during three days cuz tomorrow i wont have time#i have classes during the afternoon and night and i need to make a presentation for this other final assignment due tomorrow night so the#morning is gonna be about doing that lmfao im so cooked cuz i dont really have an easy time writing i hate writing specially academically s#like i hope i die i hope i get ran over or something#jfkskd came back to jot down that i also have a portfolio to turn in on friday lmfaooo
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happy friday to everyone except my coworker who asked if I could help with a couple of things and then dumped a mountain of work on me with less than 1.5 hours left of the week 🙃
#i've been super busy today and was finally onto my last thing and she messaged#so i was like ok i've got one thing left to do so i can take on A COUPLE of bits (because i try to be helpful and also i can't say no)#and she sends me THREE things including two 100+ page strategies to review and write up summaries of#like girl what?? it is friday afternoon who offloads this much onto somebody else 😭#also because i am approving her work today i can see that whilst i was putting a shift in getting this done she only wrote one (1) thing#(which was a mess and needed a bunch of editing on my part because it was mostly just copied and pasted instead of summarised)#talking
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catching up completely with the blue lock manga was such a wild experience holy shit
#sophie's idle chatter#LOKI AND RIN AND ISAGI AND BAROU AND HIORI RRAAAAHHHHH#AND KAISER OHHHHHH#also more baby rin and sae.... and sae phantom....#no but charles too....#BUT LOKI IN THE RECENT CHAPS WAS SO !!!!#man.#noel is still so funny to me tho with his deadpan side comments and pettiness with the pros#still waiting for that ego and noel backstory/lore... pls.... i need it....#also the lack of activity has been me focusing on other writing projects and just. having no energy ;w;;#uni will start on tuesday for me and im just dreading the early train rides....#8:30 train on tuesday & friday and 6:30 train on wednesday...#at least my classes all start in the morning so i have the afternoon free....#but also !! its nearly october so that means bllk s2 is steadily approaching which means karasu yukki hiori rin and sae content 🥹
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#i left my weed at my apartment and have unexpectedly been bouncing around to other locations for over a week now#i would give anything to be stoned on this lovely friday night but alas here i am! sober and in the guest bedroom at my parents’ house#just need to make it to monday afternoon. sigh#my stuff
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ok fr I need to stop starving myself and self-isolating like who am I, Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov????????
#crime and punishment#silly post sorry#I am being dramatic it's just that I've been in my room pretty much all day#worked from home today bc we can on fridays#and then there has been people hanging out in the common area all afternoon/evening#which is between me and the kitchen#so you can see my problem#anyway it's 8:30 and I need to eat dinner I just need to work up enough audacity to be perceived
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i’m so grumpy recently ugh
#sigh. turning 28 isn’t getting off to a good start#accidentally clipped the bumper of a parked car while driving my in-laws’ good car#now we’re down to one working car out of four cars on our property#and bee’s mom is at the hospital for recurring chronic potassium (pretty typical for her)#which ranges anywhere from overnight to a week or two#sooooo i had to spend $60 on ub*r today#which means i’ll have to spend $150 on rides to work bc of my own fuck up#and the father-in-law’s selfishness (he didn’t drive his wife to infusion#knowing i needed a ride to work a couple hours later and to be picked up later that afternoon)#so i’m grumpy but i can’t do anything about it#my stupid car insurance is going to go up in november and i’m SO not pleased#i’m so mad at myself for such a stupid accident#i get that it’s an accident but ofc it had to happen the day after my birthday (happened on the 10th)#i’m grumpy and way too fucking broke for this#i just moved to a new place last month#not to mention i had a chronic illness flare on friday so not only did i miss work last monday bc of my stupid accident on the previous sat#but i had to miss work on friday (i only work M/W/F)#SOOOOOOO#IM HAVING A FUN TIME GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#:c#h.txt
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first day back doing crt work tomorrow...i'm not excited i am a little nervous but i'm hoping that it's a good day at the very least
#teaching tag#excited to get through the next few weeks because i have 4 assignments due within the span of 11 days#one of them is done i just wanna read over it again tomorrow afternoon before i submit it#it's the first one and not due til friday BUT i haven't really started the one due on the 19th sooooo#i've outlined it but i need papers lmao#then there's a reflection for my study visit this past week#and a comparative evaluation of 2 papers for research methods#plus a few days of work in between + tutoring#i am BUSY
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my anxiety calmed down enough for me to actually eat my first full meal in a few days 😭😭 I am SO relieved
#i think its literally been since. friday or saturday afternoon???#ive been subsiding on barely touching real food and snacks 😭#it has been absolutely awful#i really hopw rhis helps me start to regulate again#but tomorrow i really need to start contacting therapists bc i cannot keep living like this w my storm anxiety glfkfjd#esp w like. global warming lmao its just going to get worse and worse so i need to figure out how to manage this before its too late#*dykeposting#delete later#ask to tag
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#val comes out of hiding#had an interview on tuesday#went well#they say their boss approves all new hires but he's out of town til 'thursday or friday'#hiring manager says i'll get in touch with u then#is friday afternoon. nothing#i've contacted hiring manager thru same channel (text messages. oddly) a few hrs ago. no response#probs gonna call in a min. wish me luck#i'm just. so tired#i need a job like yesterday. i have bills ffs#update: called. can't get to hiring manager#all call options are for customers#fucking kill me
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