#i just literally have no time to draw for it rn- like i was thinking of an old sawashiro/arakawa thing i wanted to draw today
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"77.kra" just hits different
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#tw body horror#<- i think thats applicable here? better safe than sorry with this stuff methinks#i need to draw characters i like as little messed up thangs from time to time. its enrichment that is crucial to my wellbeing actually#+ brush im feeling the most rn vibes more with this stuff vs literally anything else. its either i go along w it or suffer artblock forever#also the whole “looks hella weird but its still the same moron” thing scratches my brain idk. nothing he does is intentional hes just dumb#i fear(/pos) ppl who make him look really damn pretty btw. yall are so real for that and have so much power i really respect yall djfmgd
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Was nobody gonna warn me that I would fall a little bit in love with every character in Stardew
#I am literally following them around and getting excited like a little puppy its insane#I cant decide who I wanna marry I like all of them… I was a little torn between Sebastian and Harvey at first but now Alex is an#unexpected fav??? and I like Elliott and Sam theyre so goofy.. and I appreciate how down to earth Leah is#Emily is also quickly growing on me she feels like the valleys manic pixie dream girl to me. or at least Clint’s manic pixie dream girl#the only characters I don’t have much to say abt are Shane and maru.. Shane’s still a little mean to me like I know he warms up to u as#u get to know him but I’m not there yet.. and I’m just not all that interested in Maru sadly#it’s not just the marriage candidates its almost all the NPCs especially Granny Evelyn SHES SO NICE?? shes fun to talk to I love giving#her my best flowers.. I also like saying hi to Willy and Marnie they’re nice!!! I love Marnie’s smile it’s so cute#I’m also fond of gus after seeing Linus’ 2 heart event that was so sweet of him… mister gus I’ll give u my best ingredience……..#I’m too busy trying to finish the community centre and make money before I go around marrying anyone or building up friendship#so I haven’t had a lot of time to get to know everyone ;w; I’m trying to trigger the wizards heart events now that I’m at like 9 hearts#with him cuz I wanna be able to move my buildings around#I actually have 2 saves rn one on my brothers pc and one on iOS. but the one on iOS is cosmos file and it just playing as him as a character#not as myself and I think he would marry Alex. but my pc save is my personal file so I’m marrying Harvey#until my pen gets fixed I’ll be drawing at a snails pace pairing the stupid thing but Im making cosmo a ref definitely#I kinda wanna get to know Pam too.. she’s like rough around the edges but in a jaded way I wanna know what she’s like yk#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#Stardew#yapping
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Took the plunge to get Mast the Diver!
#nikke#mast nikke#mast#mast the diver#nikke goddess of victory#goddess of victory: nikke#shoot i shouldve hidden the ui but i dont wanna load the game again i need to do other things rn#morgans bancho outfit is so cute lol#Image.exe#Cori.exe#CoriPlaysNikke#im holding out on buying sakura w mileage tix until the event is almost over since i drew rosanna#i keep drawing 10 and getting anyone other than sakura lmao ffs man cmon sunglasses characters are MY THING#wouldve been nice to get more of rosanna so shes useable but i keep spending all my game currency on sakura ughhh#still kinda want neon too bc of the unicorn but i think im gna have to give up on her once again#also rip bc i am definitely not spending fucking $60 again to get the special skin (viper this time. even tho viper is like...#...waifu number 4 in this game lol. cmon mannnnn i want her so badly ugh but thats just too much to justify)#((but i can justify another summer skin esp bc there was a coupon. i got liter last year bc of volt lmao good dog best fren))
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So now i have migraines apparently 😭
#wahh#it started this morning and i had to lay down this afternoon#all the stress of the past 24 hours i guess#it’s like a nightmare#literally having flashbacks to 2016#not as bad the second time lol starting to get used to it#real dark#never ever underestimate how much america hates women#the saddest part is that u can just See It#all of the men / a lot of them / where i live act like him#big fat misogynistic jerks#they’re all such cruel bullies#im trying not to let it get to me but it’s hard#one day at a time#there’s so many good people out there too#kind nice people#idk#kinda feels like drowning rn#but u gotta keep going#sometimes thinking about all the art i want to make is literally the only thing that keeps me going#so that’s good!#make stuff#draw paint write whatever#and fuck trump#notes tag#i couldn’t stand the thought of there being any doubt#so#i hate trump#boooo
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oo u want 2 draw soo bad..
#i hate that my ability to draw is so conditional#its soo frustrating but i dont know how to break it. this has been the one thing thats never changed.ill never be free#times like rn i just do studies but its soo fking BORINGGG euuhh...#but if i try 2 draw something for funsies i just stare at the blank canvas. literally immobile. & u know how people r like just draw#something anyways. a line. something. and its like no i cant do that oi cant even do that u underestimate my freak#i want 2attack myself from the pov of someone else#i think im having the realization tht i will never be able to do art stuff frls and its driving me crazy i think.#like im actually sick and unwell frm the thought of it.my friend commissioned me and im ab 2 send the money back#after two weeks bc i cant do it im literally frozen dude.i want 2 cry and die and explode into a million pieces#wait im back to add more.idk if anyone feels the same way but its like. i know its entirely a Me issue its a mental block issue#theres something thats not connecting in my head but its like.why is it so easy for everyone else ykwim...and thats a lie too right#like everyone else struggles w art and its not.it cant exist Without you struggling and practicing hard and trusting yourself#but in my brain im just convinced that like.i cant do this i cant do this like everyone else can do it like second nature and it freaks me#tf out#but also its the one thing i want to do more than anything else in my life and so like if i cant do it i dont know what to do.ughh.#not me freaking the fuck out rn lawl.lols.even#and on top of it i feel like i cant express myself well and i think my friend. < SOOO awesome and well meaning and NICE and legitimately#pushing me to try and believe that i can do this stuff but i feel like they wont understand the sort of like.mental block im struggling wit#like its less that i hate my art or something i dont its more like.i just feel soo physically restrained and incapable of doing it.suddenly#i cant think and i cant do anything.i have no creativity i have no ideas my mind is quite literally blank and empty
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These bitches are so messyyyyyy
(Ty to @glamgoths art for giving me brainworms)
#toxic yaoi dare i say honestly#shaking in my enclosure#jack wants leo soooooo bad but leo literally cpuldnt care less#and jack becomes obsessive YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY#screaming into a paper bag#scribblies#ill for sure draw some proper stuff soon but i have a stye rn!!!!!!!! and they got me in the mines at work for 4 days straight tmr#but just think about jack looking to abraxys[?] for answers as to why leo wont have sex with him PLEASEEEE#chronically 70s bisexual#iykyk#also i twinkified leo a little PLEASE be patient this is like the second time ive drawn him and the only time i think it looks passable#late night with the devil#jack delroy#david dastmalchian#leo fiske
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THE EYHM COLLECTION GROWS!!!! managed to make some space without having to move too much so they can all be together!!
(i made the smaller ones into stickers bc i'm running out of picture frames!! hope that's ok!)
THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WHO'S GIFTED THESE TO ME THOUGH!!! I'M CALLING ALL OF YOU OUT HERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!! ❤❤❤❤❤
*sharp inhale* @eskariolis-con-salsa @oddpizza @woobab @the-little-knight @moon9931 @misdreavusplush @noodletime @witch-tower-au !!!!!!!
hope you all have a good holiday season!! love you all! *MWAH*
#don't worry about the fish tanks they'll keep the kitties company! there's literally almost nowhere else good to put these lmao#but!! i think they look good there at least!! AND IN GENERAL THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD THANK YOU#BUT NOW AFTER THIS I REALLY NEED TO FIND MORE SPOTS IF I GET MORE EYHMS BECAUSE THERE'S NO SPACE LEFT THERE!#....maybe i can move some of the pokemon posters i have by my bed lol. they're just kinda. there rn.#but yeah!! i never expected people to like this cat this much and i'm kinda freaking out!!! but thank you again so much!!#i'll say it 1000 times if i have to!!!!!!#eyhm stuff#gift eyhms#basically ALL of the gift eyhms i've gotten lmao. there's a couple that're in progress but they'll hopefully join the others soon-ish!#quick side ramble! i've got a couple more drawing things planned this year but they might take a couple days because Chrimbo and all!#but there's a couple pizza tower things/gifts and. maybe finally my About Me post? gotta figure out how i'm gonna make that heh#OK I'VE BEEN TALKING TOO LONG SORRY BUT I'M JUST SO HAPPY ABOUT THESE AAAHHHHHHH
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Woah hey,
So I decided to start rewatching fantasy high from freshman year to junior year since the season finished. In Gorgug’s introDUCTION, he talks about breaking his bed and having dreams where he’s angry all the time and in the context of the roleplay, yeah Gorgug is a pubescent barbarian who is struggling with wanting to connect with his biological parents.
But in the context of junior year there’s so much that could be said about this intro scene. Is it typical for all barbarians to go through in this period of their lives or was this the inception of the rage stars? Did Brennan take this bit and run with it for the whole rage god idea, because rage plays such a huge role in so much of early fantasy high if you think about it. So much of adolescence is rage inducing, you’re older than a kid so a lot of things are expected of you but you’re still not an adult, and couple that with the fact that hey remember, the Bad Kids are FOURTEEN in freshman year. They literally work to save the world multiple times.
Anyway, I’m excited for more of this to be revealed/bits to analyze now. Brennan did say that a lot of this was 5 years in the making. I just want to see when he started to build things up and find connections in his own story because we know that it was Emily/Fig’s insistence that Porter was evil that inspired Brennan and not him already being evil. And that’s the wonderful thing about collaborative story telling and role playing, there is some structure required for it to feel like a satisfying story but the players have as much say in this structure as the DM does.
God I love the fantasy high universe.
#anyways that was a bit of a ramble#I’m just working on a drawing rn and listening/watching and that stuck out so fast I had to pause#gorgugs literal introduction was how he feels pulled between the two worlds of barbarian rage which he likely thinks is his traits from his#birth family and the nice way he’s been raised by his parents but we later find out that Gorbag also struggled in barbarian classes with#porter and is a musician too so we have evidence that Porter has been a dick to multiple ppl for ‘not doing rage right’ and also Porter#refers to gorgug as Gorbag a few times#I think that was possibly a bit turned canon but who knows!#idk this will just make my rewatch fun#long post#my post#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20 spoilers#rambles#gorgug fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#porter cliffbreaker
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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SPLASH ART IS DONE WOOHOOOOOOOO....now I got the icon and constellation to do- I hope y'all ok with the long pauses inbetween the characters I introduce (>.<""")
I PROMISE EVERYTHING WILL MAKE SENSE WHEN I PULL OUT EVERYONE AND LIKE SHOW THE BIGGER PICTURE + LORE. DKJHDKJHD EVERYONE'S LORE ARE LIKE SUPERINTERTWINED WITH EACH OTHER
#DKJHDKJHDKJHD I got 10 more of these to go#idk how long this will take me#as you see I am not a fast drawer-#funny thing is that majority of these guys started existing like in 2021-2022#and more popped up with each new region#I have all the designs coloured and sketched out + lore fucking done a while back but drawing epic poses and effects are what takes a while#no regrets in making a huge ass story coupled with a bunch of mini stories#and it's not even just the playable ones#I have antagonists too#I think I said this like many times LMFAOO bear with me (-v-“”)#...at this point if I do need to explain lore to new people in an info dump way I'm pulling out the red string and a huge ass fucking board#also working on another story and other projects too rn I'm a very busy entity#ANYWAYS please do not mind the literal crumbs of stuff I promise the actual meals will be out 😭#maehwaupdates
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...So I may have went a little insane designing the MC from @psychopomp-enthusiast's Blade x Reader fic To Mourn The Living
Am I confident in my art skills? Lmao (No)
I am not rendering this (I did have an idea for the highlights but) it's 5 am oh god and if I don't go lie down right now I am not waking up tomorrow (Today at 8)
I tried to keep the design androgynous but well. Am Girl. So I am a little biased towards Reader being also Girl. I think I did ok tho
The first HSR fanart I've made and it's fanart of a fanfic. Typical me behaviour tbh
I did research for this for some reason like I stared really hard at a couple wiki tabs for a while (Haven't seen actual scales on either of our High Elders) and skimmed the fic again. The scales were specified to be silver?
While doing the aforementioned research I think I've crafted a theory? I somehow completely missed that there is more than one High Elder, like there are other ships that have their own High Elders too and like??? I'm making some connections??? Is this a "I've connected the dots" moment? Who knows.
I did think maybe the whole storms thing had something to with Jing Yuan and his Lighting-Wielding Thunder-Clapping Spirit-Squashing Lord (YESSSSS FIRST TRY BABY OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD) but the whole thing with black hair and evil vibes just felt off to me. AND THEN. Until I get a reply on this/the fic gets updated I won't say anything further, but ough. I am so normal about the media I consume guys
I kinda felt like putting the scale pattern on the outfit was a little OOC since MC was mentioned to not really follow Vidyadharan customs, but I also figured they were close to Bailu and have horns so? Maybe?
I gave MC blue hair because Ice type. I was gonna give them really long hair, but then again, not a High Elder. The hair was mentioned to obscure their horns underwater tho so I think some length is fine?
It was actually really hard to find physical descriptions of the MC? I mean for a fic like this, that's actually a good thing, it gives me more leeway to do whatever I want but also literally one of the reasons why I don't do fanart is because I wanna be accurate as possible (This is probably some kind of anxiety thing, idk)
#Eyes are still my favourite thing to design hehehe#I wanted to do some kind of snowflake pattern maybe with the lighting but oh god it's about to be 6 I need to go#Tfw reading things makes you want to draw#I need to pick better times to draw cause like once I actually do it I just zone out for a couple hours#I started at like 1#I think I am lowkey a little bit obsessed with this fic rn like it's not good#I mean it is a good fic tho#I literally have it on record that for like 3 days after I read TMTL it's literally just one full page of Blade x Reader stuff#If I get the ok on this I will maybe post it to Instagram#I actually only wanted to draw the underwater scene today but Things Happened so I'm going insane about this at 6 am instead. Such is life#Ok yeah seriously I needa go to bed now bye bye#sweetmountainseeds#Am I allowed to tag this?#To Mourn The Living#honkai star rail#hsr#Blade x Reader#My art
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i think the reason why im so drawn to spirit tracks and pkmn scarvi is that having the legendary/princess as a companion rather than a goal that marks the games completion makes me feel satisfied the way i would after helping a friend
my brother always teases me about how I still havent finished botw after almost 7 years bc "id rather be out picking flowers" which i wont say is untrue. and yes i know Zeldas been holding off ganon for 100 years, yes i can get some sort of idea what her relationship with link was like by recalling memories and going through her diary. ive always loved botw for its unique storytelling and setting which makes it stand out, because it lets you get to know who you're saving.
but because theyre memories, it only works if theres something for the player to investigate that already happened. its retroactive (but effective nonetheless)
on the other hand, spirit tracks does something similar but instead of having the player try to piece together memories and interpret them as a spectator, you actually have an opportunity to get to know zelda yourself by talking to her and working together. besides making it a gameplay mechanic, giving the player control over how they interact with zelda makes it so much more personable.
and I find that making the goal feel personal instead of an obligation gives me more of a reason to work towards it. I know what kind of person botw zelda was but as the player, shes still very much a stranger to me. but spirit tracks zelda? thats my friend!!!! she invited me to go to the beach after we get her body back!!! i dont want to whip her to make her move faster thats mean :(
you know how hostage negotiators are trained to introduce themselves and get to know the person theyre negotiating with because its harder to hurt someone when you know what their favorite food is? its kinda like that, because it feels like im helping a friend than being told or led to do smth
and although i havent played scarvi myself, i feel an attachment to koraidon and miraidon even just watching playthrough clips because its like!! thats my weird scaly dog!! it loves sandwiches and we're friends!!! you know!!!!!!
#i dont normally write long posts like this but i think ive been trying to put this into words for a long time and it finally happened#my cloth mother spirit tracks zelda and my wire mother lttp zelda#ACTUALLY ANOTHER THING when i was a kid i always felt guilty when i had to catch the legendary at the end of the game#because to me it was like 'i know none of this is real but if i capture you and have you under my thumb am i robbing the world of something#normal thoughts for a 10 year old to have#when i talked to my brother abt this he was like 'i mean yeah the point is to dunk on the NPCs what were you expecting' and i mean i think#i get that its supposed to feel rewarding because the legendary is THE reward. but it doesnt feel right and i dislike he feeling of pushing#others down to get ahead. i guess u can argue sun/moon does smth similar where you have nebby with lillie#but lillie still ends up handing nebby over to the player and i STILL feel bad because im like shit man you raised that little guy#and koraidon/miraidon feels less like a reward but more like overpowered motorcycle lizard that is just so oupydog. and i love him#and in spirit tracks i went out of my way doing some of the side quests bc zelda asked nicely and honestly that was enough for me#i think all of this boils down to.. i feel very protective abt things i care abt so stories that give me a reason to care hits harder#this can also go the other way bc i CRIED when i finished links awakening because i KNEW every person and im responsible for#literally the end of their world. like. there was a family with 5 kids. marin loved singing and cared about me. she was my FRIEND#i just. ugh. i have too many feelings rn. i kinda wanna draw more spirit tracks link and zelda i think that wld make me feel better#yapping#diary#loz#pokemon
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I'm so goofy oh my god djdkdl I've been wondering "geez why did I abandon this OC entirely, that's so strange, I can't believe I did that" and uh. literally just a minute ago I realized wait. I fit them into my DL worldbuild right when I first started making it. oh my god they DO still exist, i found them a home and everything 😭
okay well. guess who is going to either make an AU for them or is going to have TWO self-inserts in their own worldbuild 🧍 <- booboo the fool
#I'M... THE GOOFIEST GOOBER. losing my mind rn how on earth did i just completely forget they're in DL now omfg#i was thinking ''gee sure feels like I've already gone through this process of drawing them for the first time since i was 17... so weird!''#YEAH. CUZ YOU HAVE. YOU DREW THEM LIKE. TWO YEARS AGO. REDESIGNED THEM AND EVERYTHING. 😭😭#anyways im leaning towards... a second self-insert#that is literally just me irl aka not a fae LOL#and they'll have... more glamours in place. to disguise their own faeness. to fit into the usual real world#much to think about !!!#I'll tell yall more about this OC once I've got things a bit better laid out dhdksl rn it's all a bit up in the air#but having that redesign groundwork already laid out from DL is going to help speed this up immensely omfg 😭#dandy.cmd
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i need to put jensen in flare jeans and 5 inch heeled platforms,, man i wish I could draw
#i have literally no time rn#AND im starting a new job next week.#i think i should isolate from society and just draw jensen in fun outfits#i love him stopping into work on his days off bc he is either dressed like a 70s rockstar or 2010s grunge/emo icon#i love people seeing him outside of work for the first time. like who tf is that.#jensen valentine
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