#i just know it can sometimes mess with ppl if they see stuff like that happen (aka me LOL)

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[dandyshucks]

btw sometimes i get anxious about posts i've made and set them to private so that I can look at it again later when i'm in a better state of mind and decide again if i want it seen (sometimes i'll just delete posts but generally i try to private them so i have the choice to unprivate them later)

so if u see a post appear on my blog that u didn't see on here the day before or if a post disappears and then reappears randomly or anything along those lines its because i was privating/unprivating posts to try to manage my brain stuff, ur not crazy, ur not missing things, it's actually just ME who is crazy LMAO

[realcube]

Could you do a Saiki x touch-starved reader

(Also I love your writes!❤️)

SAIKI K x touch-starved! reader hcs

☆ saiki is very apprehensive to touch you

☆ mostly because he's not naturally very physically affectionate

☆ and also because if he gets too flustered he might accidentally level a whole country , ya never know

☆ but if he can read your thoughts so when he finds out that you're eager for hugs and cuddles n all that sweet stuff

☆ he learns to deal with it

☆ and finds ways to touch you that work for both of you

☆ he likes to sit next to you , shoulder to shoulder, just on the couch while y'all are watching something or on the floor while playing video games

☆ it sounds awkward and that's because it kinda is but he considers it to be peak intimacy

☆ and massages !!

☆ he doesn't mind giving / receiving massages at all , especially from you , in fact he really enjoys it

☆ that is the most at peace you will ever see him

☆ though iirc it's canon that trying to rub his back feels like chipping away at stone, but you make it work somehow.. perhaps a chisel ??

☆ he also pats your head, another thing that you might find awkward but comes naturally to him in terms of affection

☆ he's very hesitant to cuddle because he's afraid his super strength might activate and he might crush you

☆ if you're tried and you ask him to carry you to your bed , assuming he'd pick you up bridal style and you'd have a cute moment

☆ you couldn't be more wrong because he'll pick you up with one hand carry you to your bed like a platter of shrimp

☆ he is even very nervous about holding hands because again, super strength

☆ and it makes him feel the tiniest bit bad because like.. he is depriving you of normal boyfriend/couple experiences bc he's a psychic

☆ bc if he was just a normal boy, he'd find a way to overcome his adversity to touch and physical affection for you because he knows you like it and it's the least he can do

☆ but it's obviously a bit harder when you're a psychic

☆ sometimes he practises by hugging pillows but that usually just results in torn pillowcases and feathers/cotton like.. everywhere

☆ and plus the stakes are a lot higher when it comes to you so he's more likely to get anxious and mess something up

☆ but he makes up for it by being sweet in ways you might not expect

☆ like he tends to feed you desserts a lot, and he doesn't even realise how intimate it can be, he just thinks of it as normal to want to share some of his favourite food with a person he loves

☆ and if you get a bit of icing on your lips, he'll wipe it with a napkin for you

☆ he also doesn't mind it when you touch him

☆ since less can go wrong that way

☆ like you could legitimately start using him and human jungle gym and he couldn't care less

☆ in fact, he secretly enjoys it

☆ sometimes you think you can catch him out and surprise him with a hug attack but of course that hardly ever works because... he's psychic

☆ so you'll just pounce on him and instead of falling over like most ppl would, he stays upright and you are left hugging and clinging onto him like he's a tree

☆ also he'll never admit it but he loves lil kiss on the cheek !!

☆ makes him feel very much loved and afterwards and so enamoured and he thinks he does a good job at hiding it but you can always tell bc his expression goes from 😐 to 🙂

☆ a very subtle difference but you as his s/o notice it immediately

[emilem-forevermore]

hey! intro post :D

are you having a panic or anxiety attack? here :)

here is a link to the trevor project (a helpline for queer youth) if you are struggling. remember you deserve love and recovery :)

need a boost? check out my tag #em says it’ll get better <3

and if you know me irl, don’t follow me here- go to @peanut-jelly @squirrelfrienddd or @femininemilem

okay, a bit about me:

personal

my name is ollie, or oli, oliver, or em.

my pronouns: he/xe/it/fae/they. no she/her or fem terms.

my age: i am a minor. don’t be gross.

my birthday: april 8th! i’m an aries :3

nicknames i've collected: emilem, gay little frat boy, catboy tea, cheeto boy, leaf boy, em and em

my height: 5'0! i am tiny :)

i'm happily dating @nyxerer120 (how! i’m the luckiest boy in the world holy shit)

poetry blog! @emilems-poetry

vent blog: @emilem-is-sad

just another one: @femininemilem

the other one where you can't mention my main bc my friends see it: @peanut-jelly

therian blog: @emilems-a-cat

also just another one: @squirrelfrienddd

i also run one of the color shark blogs, you can figure out which one ;)

i also have a pinterest, spotify account, and scratch account. this isn't something i'll be sharing with the world but if we're moots or smth and you want it lemme know :D here is one scratch acc tho

fun facts about me:

i earned a black belt in taekwondo (i no longer do it tho).

i cannot play any instruments but would like to learn guitar one day

i’m a norwegian forest cat therian but i’m fine with being called human/person too @emilems-a-cat

fandoms and interests

music: harry styles ⋆ 1D ⋆ hozier ⋆ noah kahan ⋆ chappell roan ⋆ sabrina carpenter ⋆ taylor swift ⋆ the amazing devil ⋆ a lot more

fandoms: gravity falls ⋆ warrior cats ⋆ heartstopper ⋆ brooklyn nine nine ⋆ only murders in the building ⋆ a good girls guide to murder ⋆ wild life smp + more

interests: poetry (check out @emilems-poetry) ⋆ drawing ⋆ digital art ⋆ writing ⋆ reading ⋆ french ⋆ veterinary sciences ⋆ the human body ⋆ psychology ⋆ hebrew, spanish ⋆ chinese ⋆ italian ⋆ music ⋆nature

check this out:

my favorite post on this website, a slight tw for self harm mentions, but aside from that it's extremely moving and well written and might help if you're feeling down :)

PLEASE:

ask me stuff! i love answering questions

message me if you think i’m cool!!

send me art and poetry!!! it’s so awesome to look at :3

interact w me! i love talking to yall and i don't bite that often

talk to me about heartstopper, poetry, wild life, and noah kahan :)

if i say/do something that upsets you, let me know! i try to do my best to be inclusive and kind but sometimes i mess up so help me out :)

i love my moots more than the world!!! here's a list of some of them:

@hotteststar my first moot and fellow bisexual :)

@rins-batcave my reason /p

@raeprise mon cœur /p

@sparky4577 my brother (not irl but i wish)

@mcshizzle-the-fire-boy the most sigma of them all /pos

@crowofthestars just really fuckn cool. go follow them!

@thecrazyalchemist my bestie with the coolest name(s) ever

@mrblazeflappybird my cool uncle!!!

@wishiwereheather13 my really cool moot im too nervous to talk to (your banner is so cool btw. just sayin.)

@boldofyoutoassumeicanspell my wise gal i should talk to more

@holiday-spice my favorite seasoning (get it. cause his name is spice. lol.)

@halflingwithaknife i get excited whenever you're in my notifications you're so cool :0

@aflairforthemelodramaticc my father :)

@blaxolt one of the funniest folks i know :3

@catinasink uh. uh youre so cool. wtf im scared of you youre really awesome :0

@theronanlynchshow LITERALLY AWESOME I LOVE SEEIN YA ON MY DASHH AHHH

@the-toaster-rat genuinely one of the nicest ppl ever he’s amazing go follow him >:3

if you'd like to be added to (or removed from) this list lemme know! i have so many mutuals and i love them all beyond words <3

oh also i tag my weekly polls with #ollie’s polls so those are there if you wanna see

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[miausterx0x]

JEFF THE KILLER HEADCANONS

CW: killing, stalking, scars, addiction

OKAY POSTING THIS NOW. I might do a part two sometime, he rots in my brain so im bound to come up w new ideas and stuff but for now this'll do :thumbs_up:

GENERAL STUFF

White, Italian-American but he's not too connected with his Italian heritage

In his early to mid 20s, ran away from home after committing his crimes when he was around 16 and he became a proxy for Slenderman after being on the run for 2 years, making him 18 when he was recruited

Jeff the bisexual, not that he realized/accepted it for a long time

Around 5’8’’/178cm, probably tells ppl he’s taller ngl

He's got light blue eyes and naturally brunette hair that he dyes black

He got into a burn accident when he was younger, an incident that finally flipped a switch on him for good

The burn marks are mostly spread across his upper body, his legs are pretty much free of any damage

The gushes on his cheeks never healed properly or closed as he did them poorly, leaving the edges ripped and uneven

The pain it caused has numbed overtime and he rarely feels it anymore

He managed to partly blind himself by having gone ahead and tried cutting his bottom eyelids in a poor attempt at stopping himself from ever crying (he was a mess and struggling with himself at that point) but he couldn't go fully through with it after he freaked himself out with the damage it did to his left eye

He's got scars all over his body, most of them are from fights with others

He actually wears those battle scars with pride, in his mind they make him seem cool and strong and he even brags about them

Very, very, VERY rare to see him without face paint on. It's not that he’s trying to conceal the damage his face has gone through, he just thinks the white face paint fits him better. Live laugh love guyliner as well

His makeup is waterproof and he even sleeps in it multiple nights in a row, he doesn’t care, he'll just touch it up if he needs to

His eyesight is below average but in his opinion he sees just fine even when he has to squint

PERSONALITY

He can be an annoying bastard when he wants, it's natural for him to be an asshole

If you're a stranger to him he has no problem being borderline harassing with his behaviour and it's worse if he's provoked in some way

It's very easy to pick a fight with him as he's easily irritable and when he fights, no matter if it's verbal or physical, it can get real nasty real fast

If you even look at him funny when he's having a bad day, you most likely will end up on his blacklist

That's to say he’s def got some anger issues he never got to work through when he was younger

The easiest way to befriend him is to impress him, otherwise he's not too interested in getting to know you

When one does befriend him and they become closer, they have to endure his playful banter, jokes and his smug behaviour

He's egoistical for sure. Whether his massive ego is a cover up for his issues with himself he'll never tell.

If you stroke his ego he’ll probs smirk to himself and receive it with no problem, but too much is too much and he’ll get annoyed cause then he just feels like you’re either not serious or you want something from him

Needless to say he prioritizes himself and the people he actually cares about, otherwise he's indifferent or dismissive of others

He's pretty much an ambivert. He can be by himself fine and he prefers it most of the time but he also seeks out the presence of other people from time to time

he’s also kind of an attention hogger, blame that on growing up with his parents not caring enough (doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad attention, both satisfy him)

He’s kind of reckless, rather acts before he thinks and sometimes it works in his favor, sometimes it bites him in the ass and if someone were to point that out he’d probably curse them out or something (he’s bad at admitting he’s wrong)

MUSIC PREFERENCES

He definitely thinks of himself as a music connoisseur of sorts

He’s a huge fan and listens to music pretty much whenever he can

He’s also got different playlists for different vibes. For example when he goes out (to kill) on his own he likes to listen to something that’ll pump up his adrenaline but then again when the night falls and he’s left awake staring at the ceiling he also likes calmer music that is almost melancholic in sound

And he thinks his music taste is better than yours, no debate about that (unless you introduce him to something new that he likes, then he’ll be a bit reluctant about complimenting your taste)

He’s probably sneaked into concerts as well as stolen merch, which btw all his shirts with graphics on them are just merch of bands he likes

If his music taste were to be described with genres his taste would fall into metal and goth and their subgenres

He actually got into the goth scene through Jane when they were young. She had introduced him to the type of music she liked and he actually found himself liking the sound and researched different subgenres on his own time. Would he admit that Jane got him into it? Probably not, if anything he’d give her just a little credit

He's more focused on the melody of the song rather than the lyrics. He might not even know the lyrics to his favorite songs because he thinks the melody on its own is banging enough

Some bands I think he’d specifically like are She Wants Revenge, Slipknot, Type O Negative, Korn, Lebanon Hanover, Twin Tribes and Mareux

When he was younger he used to be a big emo, now he slightly cringes at the thought yet finds himself sometimes revisiting the songs and bands he used to listen to on loop when he was in his teens

FASHION

He’s not too particular with his clothes, most often he steals the stuff he wears from his victims

He does like alt and edgier fashion though but he doesn’t care to specifically seek out for clothes that fall into that style too much

Accessories are a different thing. He's like a crow when it comes to cool jewelry and might even target someone just to steal a spike bracelet from them

A big lover of his white hoodie. It’s almost like a part of him and he even feels weird going out without it

^ And it’s often covered in dried blood. He views the stains as some sort of trophy from his successful kills and is against washing it unless someone actually makes him do that (but that would only happen after a ridiculous amount of resistance from him)

His wardrobe mostly consists of dark colors, apart from the couple of white tops he has

Knowing Jeff’s preferences, Nina sometimes alters his clothes and makes them more fitting to his aesthetic, which despite his act of indifference he sort of appreciates

He’s got a few piercings and he’s done all of them himself except for his snakebites

The first time he pierced himself he got his ear infected and Jack had to treat it

After that he's got the hang of it and has been free of any serious infections

His snakebites were the first piercings he ever got when he was young, approximately 15 or so. He got them done by some shady guy in some even shadier circles he hung around in as an act of rebellion against his parents

FOOD & DRINKS

He's not picky with food, like at all

Sure there are things he doesn't like but he eats pretty much anything

When he was on the run after attacking his family he didn't really have much options and ate whatever he could find just to keep alive and going

His favorite type of food is homemade meals and he prefers to cook his own food if he can, partly because of his distrust to others

And he's decent at cooking. He learned when he was young and still living at home but everyone has the impression of him that he can't cook for his life

Loves a good ol’ Monster Energy, the drink is imprinted on him since early age

The type of guy to forget to drink water tbh, he’s kind of dismissive when it comes to taking care of himself in general

BAD HABITS

Killing and stalking, obviously

Depending on his mood he may take his victims out quickly with a simple stab to satisfy his craving for control for the moment, but at times he can get brutal to the point he leaves an impossible mess

He's not a long term stalker if he plans on killing some stranger. He'll follow them throughout one evening and be done by the night

Though sometimes he'll get curious about other people’s habits and way of operating, and he may follow or watch them out of sight to gain more information

He's a regular smoker and he’s not planning on quitting it

Steals a new pack in advance every chance he gets. He does go through one fairly quickly after all

Also a drinker. He's not addicted like he is with nicotine but when he drinks he often takes it too far, drinking too much too quickly

Sometimes it's a choice, sometimes he just loses track of his limits yet he would insist he meant to get shitfaced, thinking that works better for his image

HABITS/FREE TIME

He’s the type to consider killing as his habit but apart from that there are a few other things he finds himself drawn to

Music, as said before, is a big part of his daily life. He likes to just hang in his room and have music in the background, usually blasting it from some busted stereo he found one day

A knife collector and he has favorites based on how many kills he's gotten with them, how he got them and the style of the knife. Will ramble about them if you don't shut him up fast enough

He used to draw fairly regularly when he was still young but over the years he's sort of dropped it. He might still doodle something if he's given a pen and paper and he has nothing better to do, but he doesn't value the habit much at all anymore

i mmmiiiiight do more hcs with the other creeps, lemme know if y'all are interested in hearing me yap abt the others too cause then i'll actually make a point to myself to write them down lololoololo

[fixing-bad-posts]

Heya, I really really hope this doesn't come off as particularly rude, but I was wondering, why would bisexual women be considered lesbians sometimes and I think you also brought up transgender men and genderqueer ppl? For bisexual women, I just am kinda confused, they can be in lesbian relationships and lesbian spaces, but just describing them as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction at least from where I've always heard it, so wouldn't it be kinda confusing. And for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn't that just bring their genders closer to feminine and at least from what I've heard from some pple I know, they don't like non binary being seen as more womanly (I've heard it being described as woman-lite before annoying) and instead seen as a more inbetween which it sometimes isn't, because of bigotry and other things since nbs can be both fem or masc or androgynous, but wouldn't non woman lesbians kinda push it to be seen as kinda more fem or that person as more fem? I don't know and frankly I'm just kinda confused. I'm really really sorry that this probably comes off as super rude and I hope you forgive me. I frankly just want to learn a little more and have been reading up but wanted to know what you thought. And I just realized how long this was, so so sorry

hello anon! these days, i usually don’t answer asks like these because i’ve already done so several times, but you seem very well-meaning and confused, so i’ll do my best to help. first of all, please check my faq for resources and links about mspec labels and bi lesbians.

second of all—generally—here is my advice for when you encounter a queer label that confuses you:

1) literally just ignore it until you...

2) meet someone in your life who uses that label, at which point you might (respectfully) ask them what using that label means to them specifically, and why it’s important. i’ve done this in real life. the script is something like,

“it’s really cool to get to talk to someone in real life about this stuff—if i may ask, what does identifying as [insert label] mean to you, personally?”

you might also say,

“i’ve never met someone who identifies with [their label] before. would you mind giving me some pointers on the important things to keep in mind in order to respect your identity/make sure you feel respected by me?”

i’ve also never asked anyone to correct me if i mess up and say something rude, but i’m working on the confidence and charisma to be able to say that, because i owe that to others.

all of that said, i wanted to respond to some of your specific questions, and clarify a couple of things below the cut. to clarify:

1. “describing [bisexual women] as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction”. to be clear i am not the one describing bisexual women as lesbians, in this hypothetical situation. when i post about bi-lesbians, i am posting in support of people who—for whatever reason—chose that label for themselves. what i am not doing: advocating to redefine the classically understood definition of lesbian for the entire populous.

2. “wouldn’t it be kinda confusing”? yes! i understand it can be confusing, and i commend you for expressing your confusion instead of reacting in disgust or anger. there are so many things in the queer community that are confusing, even to me, and you don’t need to feel guilty for asking questions as long as you come from a place of genuine curiosity. being confused isn’t bad, and defining yourself in a way that confuses others is, likewise, no transgression.

3. “for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn’t [identifying as a lesbian] just bring their genders closer to feminine […] wouldn’t non woman lesbians […] be seen as kinda more fem”? the answer is: sort of. it depends entirely on how and why the person using this label came to these words. you wrote, “i’ve heard from some pple i know, they don’t like non binary being seen as more womanly”, and i have definitely also heard that! so, for people who feel that way, they probably wouldn’t want a label that evokes womanhood and/or aligns them with femininity assigned to them. but every person is different—so for some nonbinary people, they absolutely do not want to be seen as “woman-lite”, whereas for other nonbinary people, they might want to be seen closer to femme than masc, while still nonbinary. this goes back to what i said at the beginning: best practice is to ask the people in your life how they want you to respect them.

closing thoughts: i hope this clarified some things, but i understand that the topic may still be confusing—feel free to message me if you want a non-judgmental queer to talk things through with. i promise i’ll take you in good faith <3

[nezoriy]

List of "normal" things that always baffled me as a person on the aro/ace spectrum:

Disclaimer: A lot of this is based on the feelings and perception of my teenage self when I started to feel people around me were weird but didn't have the language or concept yet to understand what was wrong. So, give me a break if it sounds edgy sometimes. I don’t have the energy to sugarcoat every statement so it doesn’t offend anyone. If you're part of the mainstream and feel attacked by a random dude on the internet questioning things you find "normal," maybe ask yourself why you’re upset instead of coming for me.

1. "Love at first sight."

Even as a kid, this felt like a scam. I get friendship, and I can imagine love developing out of it. But for that, you need to know the person. You can't know someone instantly. So how on earth is this supposed to work? (The answer is, most ppl can feel sexual attraction instantaneously and it gets sold as love for the kids.)

2. Finding someone "attractive" = you’d like to fuck them.

I honestly was like 20something when I realized that actually yes, when ppl talk about someone, even celebs, being "attractive," they do mean they’d like to have sex with them and not just compliment them on their looks.

Like, I can honestly say that many of my friends, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Jackman are "attractive." But to me, that’s like talking about a painting. Like, sure, Singer Sargent's Madame X is "attractive," but no one's trying to, uh, get it on with the painting… right?

3. The whole concept of dating (to find a romantic partner.)

So, you’re telling me people meet up specifically to see if they might develop feelings for each other when they don't have those feelings yet? 

Like, what even makes you say yes to a date if you don't know a person at all? (The answer is: once again, sexual attraction, obviously.) 

On the other hand, if you’re already friends with someone and just wanna see where it goes, why bring the flowers and fancy dinners into the equation?

4. Why people (especially women) would even risk sex back when it could have had major consequences for them

The list includes (but isn’t limited to):

Women before reliable contraception in societies where an unplanned pregnancy could be socially catastrophic;

Brothel visitors once STDs were known;

(Here’s the tricky one bc I myself kinda feel guilty for not being empathetic enough) gay people, especially men, in times and places where they could literally be imprisoned or executed for having sex

I need to be very clear here, this isn’t about moral superiority as I'm not feeling any, it’s about survival. Like, if sex could legit mess up your life, why not just… not do it? 

Yeah it's basically rip to “fallen” women but I’m different.

5. The culture of one-night stands, cruising, club hookups, etc.

This is still a bit uncomfortable in my head because this is a very prominent part of gay culture specifically, and I’ve always felt incredibly disconnected from it. But I can't edit it out.

Okay, so someone’s hot. I can maybe get that there’s a spark. But if you don’t know them… what if they open their mouth mid-action and reveal they voted for trump? Instant deal-breaker, my genitals are shriveling in terror.

6. The need to have a partner / actively searching for one.

I give it to you, if you vibe with someone, getting into a relationship may make sense. But actually, putting in effort to find one? For what? There’s so much other cool stuff in life!

7. "I haven’t had sex in five minutes/a month/half a year 😱😭" / jokes about dry spells.

Do you actually keep track of the timelines? So what if you haven’t? I get it, orgasm is great and all, but your hand still works, right? Why do you need another person for that? 

8. Imagining yourself in place of a person/character in sex scenes.

This mostly applies to fanfics but also “regular” porn. Even if the scene is hot, I don’t picture myself as any of the characters involved. Even if I'm aroused, I like it precisely for the characters in a specific scenario, I would only be a third wheel there. 

9. Sexual fantasies with yourself as a participant.

I really don't want to imagine myself in any sexual scenarios, neither with fictional characters nor with real people, even if I might have a crush on them. 

10. Cheating in relationships/marriage.

I’m not even talking about the moral aspect of breaking trust/violating the negotiated agreements; it’s the fact that someone "just couldn’t help themselves," “accidentally” had sex. Like, you’re willing to break an agreement, feel all the guilt, and go all secret agent-level to hide the thing because you… what, couldn’t keep it in your pants?

11. Extreme jealousy over sex.

Alongside the last point, I don’t really get why people make such a big deal about someone sleeping with someone else. Sure, it’s not cool to break agreements, and it’s a valid reason to re-evaluate the relationship. But just because they hooked up with someone else? Why is it such a dramatic deal?

(Spoiler alert: I’ve grown up to be poly now, who’s surprised xD)

12. The sexualization of women in media, ads, and the outrage from cishet guys about female characters wearing realistic armor instead of metal bikinis in their games now.

What do you mean, people actually like this and it works on them? Do people actually appreciate having half-naked women in their media? Seriously?

13. The priority of romantic relationships over friendships and every other kind of relationship.

From "got a partner, disappeared for two months from their friend group" to the whole idea that romance is inherently more "serious" or "important" than friendship. Why? Who made that a rule?

Okay, that’s it off the top of my head. Might add something later. 

[hijackalx]

GALE SFW HEADCANONS:

finally we got our lover boy here. its not a secret that he like gets super easily attached. i kind of hate that they patched that out bcz it fit his character so much. but yeah in my mind its canon he gets attached suppperrr easily also kind of the type of guy to love bomb tav. not in the manipulative way tho like he genuinely thinks hes in love.

he gives everything he has in relationships too like tav IS his everything. he can be pretty clingy but thats just cuz he loves them so much ❤️ ok yandere vibes hold on. not really but imagine.

the type of dude to draw pictures of him and tav holding hands in his diary (they are not drawn good) also definitely talks to himself a lot, or maybe to his cat (sometimes abt tav)

hands down the funniest mf at camp like hes the type thats just naturally funny he doesnt even try to be. its hard to take him serious sometimes bcz of it😭😭 he gets mad af about it too. like his funnyness is a blight on his existence he just wants to be taken seriously. also feel like he has the worst luck too like fucked up things always happen to him and thats also hilarious LMAO constantly has the camp in stitches

he has bad spatial awareness so hes always triggering traps and tav gets so mad 😹😹😹

love language:

giving= words of affirmation and quality time

always wants to be with tav. also loves to compliment them but he does it in his corny ass wizard way lol like in the most extra way possible. he cant just say "ur eyes look beautiful today" hes got to say some shit like "ur viewing orbs are looking most ravishing this eventide". i bet he would write poetry abt tav but he wouldnt give it to them bcz hes lowkey embarrassed 😔 like insecure in his ability not embarrassed by the action itself. he just wants to do tav justice and he doesnt think he can.

receiving= quality time

as long as tav wants to be with him too hes happy. he worries abt being too clingy so sometimes he'll distance himself and if tav closes that distance on their own itll make him so happy. like thats the best thing ever to him. to have somebody that wants to be in his presence and listen to him ramble.

i feel like gale is similar in height to astarion so like 5'11/6' hes probably closer to 5'11. like that is the most gale height to me. also hes a little thicker with some muscle. hes def got a lil belly 🤭❤️ his pecs are rlly smthng too like thats where most of his muscle goes. those look heavy let me carry them for u king 🤲🏻😼

GALE NSFW HEADCANONS:

A FREAKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MAN IS A FREAK. WHAT was that shit in the sky ?????? THE FUCK ??? like he is THE MOST kinky mf here he will do almost anything. ONLY with ppl hes comfortable with tho. otherwise hes vanilla af. i honestly feel like hes mostly submissive tho just cuz hes chill like that. equally gives and receives. like straight up tav is his BABY he will do ANYTHING for them. probably introduced to most of his kinks thru tav (and mystra....... unfortunately.....)

loves to give head. like dear god. will beg tav to let him for real. hes very good at it too

incorporates sooo much magic. will make fake!gale fuck tav so he can watch. will use hot and cold magic and all that. electricity. the thunder stuff or whatever its called. literally anything u can think of to spice it up. he has thought of it. will also do freaky shit like using magic to mess with tav in public if u know what i mean

doesnt have a high body count i lowkey feel like mystra was his first. and he hasnt smashed anybody since. until tav.

exhibitionist AND humiliation kink. so these work hand in hand bcz like i said he doesnt do kinky shit with ppl hes not comfortable with so doing it where strangers might see is ultimate humiliation for him. but also likes to humiliate tav with it too.

will say a lot of nasty shit. this i feel he doesnt go super overboard with but its nasty compared to how he usually is. mostly when hes begging.

im gonna say gale has a solid 5 on him. and hes got hair i feel like most of the companions do but it works rlly good on gale lol. like hes got a happy trail and everything 🤤 nice hairy armpits too so u know hes got that manly ass MUSKK 💦💦💦 anyway i think his pp is pretty straight. like a wand lol. its a pretty normal pp.

aftercare with gale is the best yo like he makes sure tav is taken care of first and then cleans up on his own unless tav offers which he usually tells them to rest lol. hes just so sweet.

[rrenzwrld]

can you do aot boys with an s/o thats obsessed with their muscles/asks to ser them flexing? ty! 💗💗💗

ofcccc bb!! <3 here’s some hcs for you!😌 (and i’m so sorry about the delay! these ap exams been whoopin my ass fr😬)

EREN

— he would definitely act dumb about it

— he’d purposefully wear revealing things around you knowing that you’d attach yourself to him and his arms whenever you’d get a chance

— he’d do stretches and stuff bc he knows his muscles are prominent and you’ll be eyeing him the whole time

— “whatcha lookin at baby?”

— like he knows he’s fine and he be playin with you fr

— like he’ll literally say things like “babe, do you think i need to work out more?” when he knows that the only reason he’s asking you is bc he knows you like to feel up on his arms.. his cocky ass

ARMIN

— now he’d actually be oblivious to the fact that you’re obsessed with his build bc he is a bit insecure and believes in room for improvement so he wouldn’t see why you’re so obsessed

— but if it’s hot or anything, he’ll wear tanks and stuff bc he’s hot but he isn’t aware that you’re distracted by his every move

— but if it’s colder outside and he throws on his lil turtleneck with a coat or something.. it’s over for you

— “your arms look great in that sweater, baby.” a blushing MESS

— he don’t even be getting the hints when you ask him to pick up boxes you know you can pick up yourself just to watch his biceps flex as you watch him carry it into the house

— but it’s cute and fun to watch him get all shy whenever you compliment him☺️

CONNIE

— oh he’s mad cocky

— he’ll be flexin around the house even if you don’t ask or anything just bc he knows he’s proud of his body

— and since he knows the effect he has on you, he’ll tease you about it.. a lot

— make you not even wanna compliment him sometimes but he be lookin too good to pass up

— “i look good, don’t i?”

— a lot of eye-rolling from you when he makes lewd jokes about everything that he’d use his arms for to do to you.. but that’s just foresight for what actually happens ;)

REINER

— he be extremely flattered that you find such an interest in his build that he worked so hard for, but he’d be a bit shy about it like armin

— sometimes you’d watch him through the window as he cuts the grass shirtless or with a tank and some shorts

— “were you watching me the whole time?”

— and his HUGS.. you love whenever he hugs you or comes behind you and wraps his strong arms around your waist like— you can melt right into them😌

— when you ask him to flex sometimes, he’s a little embarrassed but when you start squealing or hyping him up a small smile does appear on his face

JEAN

— he knows of the effect he has on you and sometimes he’ll act upon it on purpose and sometimes he won’t

— but when he does wanna tease you he’ll try on certain clothes and ask you how he looks in them knowing what he does to you

— “hey babe, do you think this shirt is too tight?” - “now, you know..”

— jean is perfectly fine with being cocky sometimes when it’s just the two of you but when he gets around other ppl and you’re bragging about how strong and muscular your boyfriend is.. he gets a little shy

— and when you wanna be a lil brat, he has no problem using the muscles you love so much to get you back in place ;)

[iz-star]

About the latest polemic about Zayne and Sylus over twitter...

I left twitter for good. I'm honestly so tired of the drama that arises there everyday. I literally decided to log in today just to see some Arcane spoilers and the first thing I was hit with was with the most recent drama about CN players and specially Zayne and Sylus players having a heavy argument about plagiarism and how some lines of Zayne seem to have been copied onto Sylus' lines...

Firs of all, I don't know how the CN fanbase is, so I can't really say anything about that matter. From what I read, it seems things are quite complex there and arguments & harassment among LI's fanbases seem to be quite intense from what ppl is saying but, again, I can't really say too much on that matter cause I don't know how the fanbase is there, I'm not part of it neither I go to CN websites to look up for lads content. Most cases my experience visiting CN websites has been because of kind ppl that has respectfully asked me permission to repost my art and give me credits there, from that perspective my opinion about the CN fanbase has always been good and it still stands, I'm pretty sure that great part of the fanbase it's nice and it's only the small little toxic portion that is overshadowing the nice and chill part of the fandom.

My point here it's: Don't let yourself to have a tunnel vision about this situation.

You can probably see 10, 100 or even 500 ppl arguing and harassing others and even so it's not even a quarter of the whole total of players that belong to the fandom only in China, let alone global. To generalize from your point of view is not the objective take you think it is, talking from your experience doesn't talk for others experience, no one's experience here is universal. I read a lot of ppl trying to find someone to blame all the time "Zayne players started everything" "Sylus writers copied Zayne" etc and you know? Rolling this ball to one another is not going to lead us anywhere because as always, it's not acknowledging the true issue here: that is, us as players, keep enabling this kind of toxic behaviour if that means to stand up for or to 'defend' our main LI.

To try to portray one LI's fanbase as the guilty one is just creating more trouble than solving it and it's also not having a general understanding of the situation at hand and instead, encouraing biased opinions that only create more division and discrimination within the fandom.

And let's be honest, it's not the first time (and probably won't be the last, sadly) that drama arises within the fandom where we attack others LIs and their fanbase. This game is targeted towards adult women, we are not supposed to behave like adolescents making tantrums and messing up with our peers, yet here we are, enabling arguments, harassment, bullying or overall having an ugly and mean attitude in order to defend something that honestly, all the LIs would feel ashamed for if they were real. Like, literally all of them hate to be on the spotlight for the stuff they're good at, it would be even worse if the spotlight it's caused by them for all the wrong reasons.

I know lads guys are fictional, and I'm not going to invalidate people's feelings by saying that you shouldn't take it too seriously just bc they're not real -most of us find a lot of comfort in fiction, after all- but that doesn't give you the right to harass real people neither hurt their feelings [the same ways you feel when they attack your fav LI]. You are able to feel whatever you want to feel, however, you're still responsible for your words and actions. If this game is turning you into an awful person, then I'm afraid to say that you probably must step back and reconsider if your passion for it is healthy for you.

I know it's easy to get upset and sometimes we have the need to express it. However, to decide to be a part of a fandom is to accept that you are not going to always like what ppl say, let alone agree with them. Not everyone's opinions might aling with yours but it's enterily up to you the way how you take and respond to them. As I said before, I left twitter for good bc I found myself often wanting to be mean to others upon reading the negative stuff some ppl said about Zayne, especially in order to compare him with other LIs just to make him look bad. I would often felt so ugly thinking like that. Staying away from that drama has been super helpful and that's the best advice I can give for now: try and enjoy the game and your LI by yourself if the fandom is getting too much to handle.

Be careful about the discourse you support and always ask yourself if your words and actions will truly lead you somewhere good and healthy or it will only cause more chaos for you and others. Flammable opinions only light up and burn if we feed the fire, if there's no one to keep it alive, the flame will drown out very quickly.

[teatraps]

Would it make sense if I said that it feels like when people interpret Edgar, they’re more interested in Edgar as a concept than his actual character? Sometimes it feels like they’re fascinated with the idea of this guy who’s completely consumed by his love of art but then don’t go in depth on the actual build up to that love, his morals, his values, or his motives.

Whenever there’s an artist in idv, their art is usually an extension of a deeper desire. Phillipe uses his wax sculptures to embody his sense of justice and righteousness (it’s a flawed idea of justice, but that’s a different discussion). Vera’s perfumes are tied to her desire for acceptance and acknowledgment in the way that her perfume would’ve been the ticket to getting attention and the way that she’s now trying to use Euphoria to erase herself and become Vera which would give her acceptance. Aesop engages in the art of embalming, but it also acts as his way of trying to “preserve” people while they’re in their “best state” and spare them from life. Anne likes to make toys, but it also works as a way to show her desire for motherhood and her attempts to cling to childhood (I think, I don’t know Anne that well). The ripper uses the art of murder to subvert the minds of others and make a statement. Galatea uses her sculptures to try and obtain the physical maturity she knows she’ll never get.

All of these characters, and many more that I didn’t mention, use their art form as an extension of themselves and the art is tied to their goals. But when I see ppl interpret Edgar, it’s like his motives come second and the art comes first. People understand that Edgar is incredibly fixated on art, but why he loves art so much seems to get lost in translation a lot of times. It makes his character seem aimless because he literally only exists to paint. They don’t elaborate on why he paints or what significance it has for his overall character. If a character is going to be so centered around their obsession, then there should be a reason why they’re so obsessed, but a lot of the interpretations I see don’t go deeper on that part. That’s not to say he doesn’t have a reason, I’d argue he does and it’s stated in his deductions with the whole “life is beautiful and the brush can preserve that beauty.” People usually ditch this part of his character, writing it off as a part of his personality that’s just gone now because of all the bad stuff that happened to him. But then the question becomes, why does he still paint? If he really doesn’t have any hope for this world and thinks everything sucks and doesn’t even want to engage with it anymore, then what is he still picking up the brush for?

(Also this is just provably not true because the last thing he says in his deductions is “life is always odd, yet pleasant,” showing he still does like life and appreciates the beauty it holds.)

I think this is why people are chill with the idea of Edgar basically only existing to die in the narrative and don’t question his actions further. People accept the idea of Edgar sacrificing himself for his art while not asking how that helps his art in the first place. Since they don’t look deeper into Edgar’s motives outside of “he wants to create a masterpiece and he likes to paint,” they can blindly accept the idea that he just dies for his art. He doesn’t need to have a motive outside of that because his only motive in a lot of ppl’s interpretations is just painting. It feels like a bit of a cop-out because he literally has no reason to be doing all of this. Since they disregarded all of the parts of his character that involve why he started painting in the first place (being his love of life and a desire to capture its beauty) it makes it feel like he’s just messing around and waiting for someone to come along and just kill him. Since he has no real motives, values, or desires, he essentially becomes fodder for Patricia to kill. As it stands with this kind of interpretation, he can’t do much else. If he’s not fighting for anything or trying to achieve or maintain anything, all he really can do is die. And not even die with a purpose because again, this type of interpretation doesn’t elaborate on how his death helped his art at all. It comes off as some random edgy ending to a character with no defined goal. Then they explain it away with “he’s unhinged” as if that actually explains anything about his character or motives.

When he said “I don’t care about anything except art” a lot of people took that at face value. They didn’t take into account the symbolism of art in Edgar’s narrative, or the reactionary nature of that statement as a response to Edgar realizing he’s being groomed. I say this a lot, but Edgar’s art symbolizes a lot of things in his storyline. It represents his psyche, like with his paintings egging him on to kill Sarai. It represents his love of life as I stated earlier. It represents the bonds he forms with others like how he relates colors to people he cared about. He uses art metaphors a lot to explain his thoughts and how he processes events, like when he says he had a dream of Sarai guiding his hand across a canvas being one of the main first signs of Sarai grooming him. People take Edgar’s word very literally but often times when he’s talking about art, it can be extended to mean something else.

In general, it just feels like people don’t ask why enough when it comes to their Edgar analysis. Why does he paint? Why couldn’t he find inspiration in his home? Why does he think going to the manor will help him? Why did he hate the aristocracy so much? The answers to these questions are in his plot, but people don’t seem to engage with them. When Edgar says he hates the aristocracy people tend to hone in on the fact he says that they don’t understand or respect art, but going back to the whole art metaphors thing, that’s not all he’s mad about. He’s constantly talking about their greed, hypocrisy, and gossiping. He finds them shallow which shows Edgar’s values. He values people genuinely caring for one another. He doesn’t like when people make up stuff about others and ostracize people based on it. His criticisms of his father in his 3rd letter could extend to the entire aristocracy as a whole. They’re all more focused on status and wealth than the actual content of their character. But this all gets lost under the idea that he literally just didn’t like the aristocracy because they didn’t like art enough which I’m sorry but that is such a garbage and shallow reason. Especially when, again, most people cannot actually pinpoint why Edgar even likes to paint in the first place. It doesn’t do the complexity of his character justice. When Edgar says, “life is beautiful and the brush can preserve that beauty,” it gives him a motive. He’s not just painting to paint, he’s painting to make the overwhelming love and astonishment he has for life tangible. When Edgar is clocking his dad’s tea, it shows his morals. It shows that he thinks it’s wrong to use and/or neglect people for fame and status. However, all of these things are expressed through metaphor, which is when things start getting lost. His resentment of the aristocracy is said through saying they don’t respect art. Edgar’s adoration for all life has to offer is shown through his dedication to his art. Edgar’s frustration with his father is described by him as his father using his art. And even though Edgar is talking about art, it means so much more than that.

People play with the concepts of a rich kid who resents his peers but don’t look into why he does. People play with the concept of someone who’s unhealthily committed to his craft, but don’t examine why he is. People like the idea of Edgar, but they don’t seem to engage with the actual character of Edgar. They see the concepts but don’t see what the writers are saying with these concepts through Edgar and this results in having what feels like a shallow, bratty kid who has no actual motivations or goals and then dies for an unsatisfying ending to his story. It gives no closure, says nothing about his character, and feels like it was something an edgy 12 year old came up with as a “cool and controversial” finale for an underdeveloped character.

I could go even further as say this is why there’s such a big shipping scene for Edgar but very little content regarding how he interacts with others in his actual canon lore. Because this type of interpretation of Edgar is so far removed from everything and everyone else, basically living entirely in his own head until he dies, people put him in ships with basically every character to fill the perceived void of interactions Edgar has in canon. They seek to expand his character and who he could be with all these ships because it feels like he doesn’t have much of a character in canon. Now this isn’t true, but I believe it is perceived that way by the fandom. I also think this is why a lot of people who aren’t fans of him find him shallow. His general demeanor off put them (and it was supposed to, he is a character built on misdirection) and when they try to look deeper into him through what his fans say, it sounds more like a list of concepts than an actual character. This again makes him seem underdeveloped and boring to them, so they go on to call his character shallow and boring. Probably why you also see people go to the furthest extremes when characterizing him, either making him downright deplorable or overly sweet and kind. People don’t investigate the things that formed him into who he is outside of the very surface level, leading people to portray him in an almost caricature of his actual traits. He’s arrogant? Then he must be a complete jerk to everyone and have zero regard for other people. He cares deeply about his art? Then his art is quite literally number one priority, no matter who has to get hurt to achieve that. He can be a bit standoffish? Then he must go out of his way to be rude to people he views as lesser. And who does he deem lesser? Everyone apparently, because when he was talking about the way people don’t understand art, people don’t analyze what understanding art even means for Edgar. They don’t analyze what Edgar’s critiques of the aristocracy are when it came to the way they consumed art outside of this vague idea of “they just don’t get it” which is so devoid of actual meaning that people just assume that idea projects onto literally everyone. He’s mentally ill and struggles with psychosis? Then he’s an absolutely deranged and unhinged freak who can barely function (and that’s not even covering how toxic of an interpretation that is when it comes to mental illness as well as completely disregards the fact that Edgar is explicitly stated and shown to be rational and good at taking in his surroundings).

Edgar is a character that requires a lot of engagement, especially since his character is built on misdirection. The audience has to be willing to accept that the writers are misleading them about his character and try to look deeper into his words and actions to understand his true character. Unfortunately, it feels like a lot of ppl don’t want to.

[andromeddog]

Oooo jumping off the previous anon ask, do you have any websites/books that good for reference that you’d recommend?? Or is a simple Google search/going from there good enough to start with

I’ve always been interested in uniforms n stuff but idk where/how to actually FIND info (especially for accuracy) but idk if Wikipedia/Google is the best for that lol

i’ve talked about this (here) and (here) before, but i will elaborate a bit more (a lot more) for you!

again my first response is to ask, what kind of uniform are u looking for? bc there’s just more info on some types than others. like, ww2 american paratroopers? sooo so so much stuff out there, maybe bc there was a wildly successful miniseries that is often listed as one of the best tv shows ever made and it mythologized the paratroopers and now everyone has a big ol boner for them and their uniforms and you can’t got two searches deep without tripping over those jump boots (said w all the love in my heart). but that being said, sometimes just a google search is enough!

this is where being familiar w each of the components of the uniform comes in handy. like oh damn i need ref of that one specific small pouch the marines have on their guns, what was that called?? oh duh it’s a carbine butt stock pouch, sometimes they wore it on their belt, i can just google that and get the exact result i want

buutttttt sometimes the online sources/pics u get are undated/unlabeled, and you have to piece together what ur looking at based on ur own knowledge of a uniform. this is especially true the older you go, and ive run into this issue with ww1 stormtrooper uniforms specifically, where you don’t have an exact date and u have to be like “welllllll i can’t be 100% sure if this is from early or late war, if this is german or austrian, but it’s close enough to what i need and i can’t find any other source that even comes close and ive spent four hours looking so im going to use this” and then you get someone in ur dms like “well actually 🧐 they didn’t wear those specific suspenders/have that patch on their uniforms/use that limited issue pouch in this theater” and then you feel kind of silly. but it’s like damn dude i spent hours looking for ref and found the only like five jpegs still remaining of this uniform pls cut me some slack. ig this is just me saying that i dont get it right all the time and inevitably there will be someone out there who has a better grasp on it and will clock your tiny error from 200 yards

to stop my pointless rambling and actually get to your question, google is a pretty good place to start but u gotta know what to be looking for. wikipedia can b helpful for kind of an intro/getting names of items. pinterest is a big one for me, i mostly like that you can save pics and organize them. i’d also check out reenactment websites/forums; those guys are dedicated to being 100% accurate and can also provide some good action shots. youtube is also a resource that i forget exists haha. following artists who are into that kind of shit, taking notes from the uniforms they draw (careful w this one, as i said earlier even ppl who draw uniforms a lot still mess up occasionally). honestly any big website is bound to have some military history enjoyers and so u can do a general search and see what comes up, that can help point to users/a community that will often have their own sources/discussions that can be helpful. ive said it before but watching movies/shows about the specific era ur looking for is great, you can see how a uniform sits and moves with a person 👍

also books! there isn’t a single catch all book for uniforms, again (again) it’s all by era/country you’re looking for. ebay is GREAT for finding super specific books on topics only you and five other people care about. sometime u can get lucky at an old used book store but that’s a real gamble and only happens veryyyyyy rarely hahah

i always use these sorts of references in tandem and double check to be sure, i swear i have like 12 tabs open and two books open per drawing just so i can get everything as close to accurate as i can. but like ive said im kind of obsessive about details (negative) and can’t be chill about anything ever. what a super cool and very practical skill set that makes me very popular amongst my peers and interests everyone once i have two beers and won’t shut up about it

ending this with my standard “did any of this make sense?” i’m going to turn on my computer now and spend the next eight hours staring at reference pics and drawing my silly little war boys have a great day everyoneeeeeeeee

[morn1e]

ermmm posting dudemarnie hcs again bcuz when i did a few nights ago i chickened out&deleted the post. anyways here it is bcuz what other purpose does it have other than sitting in my notes. i hope u all hate these guys as much as i do

- ermmm i have mentioned this b4 but they met at a bar when dude socked marnie in the face on accident&bcame interested in her in how unbothered she was from the blow which is not a reaction he usually gets from ppl&bcuz she was blonde as he has a thing for blondes.😁

- marnie unintentionally played very hard to get which is what drove dude mad&made him want her even more until he finally got her. i say unintentionally bcuz at first it was not marnies intention to be a tease, it just happened bcuz she is a bitch&sarcastic all time but then seeing how he reacts she kept going as a way to mess with him up until she started like liking him

- dude is the 1st who caught feelings for her bcuz of his horrible marriage&marnie was the 1st person after a long time who was great company where he genuinely wanted to stay around for as long as possible&some1 who was more than just a hookup/person to leech from. marnie felt suit not long after. while there were hints from both to one another that they want to be more than friends; they never really established the start of their romantic relationship w smth like “will you be my gf/bf” by word bcuz it is not smth dude or marnie would do; they had feelings that they did not admit to each other loudly but were evident to each outher&then moved in 2gether&just kind of both knew that this is it&they r dating

- marnie is a nickname that solely dude uses for maureen. it 1st was a way to get into her skin bcuz she did Not liked being referred to it but in the end it bcame their thing. sorta like an endearing manner. it does not even feel right when any1 else other than dude calls her marnie. marnie primarily calls him dude bcuz it is what he prefers. calls him by his name(tanner or parkley, both my hcs for his real name. do not execute me) to take the piss out of him or when being serious

- to dude, marnie was supposed to be nothing more than some1 he can sleep with whenever he is horny& can stay at&hang out with as a getaway for when the bitch is nagging him too hard where he needs a break&a person he can leech off booze&weed whenever he wants. marnie kept dude around bcuz of how chaotic he was, he brought a great deal of thrill into her boring life which consisted of nothing more than work&rotting at home on days off. idfk what happened between these to but yeah

- marnie is the 1 who took champ in after dude shot himself&was @ the hospital+the bitch left& after he got out looked after his bandages&stitches&made him stuff that he likes when got home&gave him meds when the aches were too much after the motherfucker shot himself bcuz marnie genuinely cares abt him. this is what prob solidified their whole relationship or smth

- i know i portray them as lovey dovey sometimes but reality is they r not that affectionate tbh. they r loners at heart&prefer to have their own space. they basically never cuddle in bed bcuz not only it is hot as balls in arizona but also bcuz they just like space. they do not kiss that often bcuz they like their space. there r times where they sleep separate or go on a full week if not more with barely talking to each other&it is not bcuz they are avoiding each other out of malice; they just like to have their own space&sometimes need a break from each other

- both genuinely hate pda. while dude does partake in it in some degree but it is only to mess with, tease, etc marnie because he knows she does not like it&she never reciprocates back. but when it comes to being genuine like holding hands or making out in a line at a grocery store like w some straight couples neither of them do that shit. nasty ass shit it is nobodys business in them being 2gether. that shit is not normal. they like to have space and do those things at home

- dude is the 1 who uses petnames as he is more playful out of the 2 w shit like babe and dear, the universal 1s but 1 unique petname for marnie that he has is doll .idk why but he just calls her doll as endearment sometimes. marnie does not really have any petnames for dude bcuz there r no nicknames for a motherfucker like him :/

- again dude is the one who is more witty and playful both in public&at home because he is the more outgoing out of the 2. marnie can sometimes be playful in return or even be the 1 who starts it 1st but only in private because that is where she feels most comfortable doing so

- giving both r pieces of shit their arguments r not as explosive actually. i always believed that in order to have dude blow up during an argument u would have to be feeding into the fire which is fighting back&pushing him over the edge; marnie does not do that. they do argue but marnie shuts the argument down&does not initiate any further b4 it reaches a breaking point bcuz not only she does not have the time to prove herself to dude, but also bcuz she does not need to. she knows her truth&there is no point in trying to prove what is right to a stubborn motherfucker. she does not care what he thinks it wrong or right, she knows her truth(whatever it is). this gives time dude to cool down bcuz there is nobody who is keeping the fire aflame to a point where he genuinely loses his shit. this is not to say that they have had not had violent arguments; they have. but they r rare bcuz of prev mentioned stuff

- they do not share clothes bcuz that is nasty. do u really think marnie would want to wear dudes gross ass unwashed shirts?

- dude has been sleeping butt ass naked at marnies even b4 they were an item&just friends. this is how he asserted his dominance (no he did fucking not)

- marnie is the breadwinner bcuz she is the 1 w a serious job that pays super well so dude in return is literally the housewife(what the hell am i supposed to call him). not ideal at all but he does get the job done enough it is satisfactory for both which is does not take much because both are messy low value pieces of shit so the bar is low. it is not everyday u bag a chick that has a hefty salary. sacrifices have to be made.

- dude uses marnies self care products in the shower in the most incorrect way possible whenever she gets smth nicer than what she usually uses. she could buy a scrub or smth&the next day it is basically empty bcuz dude idfk puts it on his balls or whatever

- 1 thing that makes dude genuinely angry is watch marnie roll blunts bcuz she rolls the worst blunts he has ever seen. he cannot watch. marnie is not 1 who gets angry but sometimes gets angry just by the sight of dude bcuz who let this wet dog white man into her damn house

- sometimes late at night both of them just walk aimlessly up&down the street or walk around town&talk abt everything or nothing. idk weird ass guys

- nearly every friday they go play pool&have a couple beers :) this is their idea of a date \o/

- marnie forges prescriptions for dudes migraine meds bcuz he needs them&she wants him to feel better bcuz she does care abt him deeply ♡yay ♡

- it is dudes duty to come by marnies work whenever she asks for him to bring her cigarettes or an energy drink whether it b 2am or 4pm. i like to think dude constantly comes around during her break so they can briefly hang out :)

- they never ever talk abt their feelings bcuz ermmm idfk wtf is wrong w both of them. both r more keeping that crap to themselves&neither know how to deal w it properly let alone properly support the other when it comes to feelings

- i always imagined that dude is a bit possessive? he does not blow a fuse whenever marnie hangs out w any1 else other than him or any of that sort, he really does not care. he is chill. she can have other interactions. sometimes he wants marnie to talk or hang out w some1 else than him bcuz he wants to be alone by himself. however he may get a bit jealous if marnie talks to some random guy for too long to some bar or whatever&thinking on how to take that guy out. he does know she is faithful but just does not like it when other guys r eyeing on marnie for too long i guess. marnie genuinely dgaf to who dude talks bcuz the same applies to him - she never questions his faithfulness bcuz she trusts him. but also she dgaf as long as he is away from her bcuz sometimes he is just too much🤬

- i do not really know where dude stands when it comes to being protective? he does not rly seem the type who would guard marnie like a fucking dog bcuz he is a fukcing jackass&does not seem 1 who would b this invested but also bcuz marnie does not need dude to defend her as she can do that herself just fine. she is not weak. but yet again marnie means everything to him so ermmm. for now i say he only gets involved when there is physical shit involved bcuz marnie is not one to strike back most of the time which to dude is ridiculous bcuz “an eye for an eye” or whatever. but it is also an excuse to b physical. marnie dgaf abt him🙄he is a grown ass man he can fend for himself. i am pretty sure she would gang up on him if some1 was beating his ass bcuz he is fucking insufferable

- okkk erm their sex life. so [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].😇.

- dude takes the “til death do us part” thing seriously bcuz if he cannot have marnie no one else can. i genuinely say this that dude would murder her&himself if it were that they would not b an item anymore bcuz marnie said so. luckily or whatever this never happens&marnie is all his sooo ermmm yuh i guess(scratching head)

- ermmm ermmm ermmm okay will let into my au for these 2: so technically they r legally married bcuz if they r going to live together might as well cut corners w the taxes. marnie is not going to pay his damn taxes. this decision was genuinely very random bcuz 1 night they made up their minds in like 10mins&went to a courthouse&then had takeout for dinner&did not mention to any1. good times i guess

- in general, they actually have an alright relationship. i have always believed in order to be w dude, u urself would need to be a horrible person, bcuz then his terrible deeds r more acceptable in ur eyes&u have less of an issue, meaning less fights&whatever. like w every couple, u r happier if ur morals&views on the world align. i say this is why dude&marnie r such a strong item bcuz they r similar ppl but do have their differences which makes it more..interesting?i have always said that in society they r both misplaced puzzle pieces that have weird edges that do not connect w the other pieces but lock in w each other perfectly like they were made for each other. there r ups&downs bcuz they r still horrible people @ the end of the day but they r genuinely happy 2gether. they r horrible 2gether. they r each others person on this god awful earth.

everybody say it in unity w me….. one is glad the other is horrible too. ♡

[i-still-mask-because]

in the wake of all this new information during COVID, do you feel that maybe we should all just be masking all the time, COVID of no COVID? I mean it can't be the only airborne disease out there and immunocompromised ppl have always and will always exist so like. Following that thinking even if we don't have COVID we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right? Idk I'm stressing a lot about this do I just need to wear a mask outside forever cos. Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues and stuff but. I don't wanna?? Kill people by accident??? Aaaaa

Hello, thanks for reaching out about this.

I saw this ask about a month ago, and I needed time to think about how I'd respond to it (so I want to thank you for the patience!).

I'll try to answer all of this to the best of my ability, and I thought I'd answer this by going backwards (responding to the last things you said and then moving up with responding to the first things you said).

Everything is below the cut because this is very long!

First I'll try to summarize what I think you're asking here:

"Vulnerable people exist in this world all around me, therefore does this mean I'm constantly posing a threat to those vulnerable people's safety when I don't mask? The thought of this brings me feelings of stress, fear, and anxiety."

I find this is hard to answer candidly without risking stressing out you or anyone else who's aware of the consequences of their choice not to mask. Nonetheless, my honest answer is: yes, choosing not to mask means risking the lives and safety of vulnerable people, i.e. the disabled, immunocompromised, elderly, children & babies, and those that intersect those groups. That risk can take place directly (such as interacting with an immunocompromised elder) or indirectly (such as interacting with the parent of a disabled child).

I also want to add that it's not only those groups that need protecting. I firmly believe that regardless of your age and/or whether or not you self-identify as disabled or immunocompromised that everyone is at risk of the long-term consequences of this rapidly mutating, vascular, and immunosuppressive virus. No one is invincible to this, and I'll add: not even if you're vaccinated (still get vaccinated if you can, but know that you can still catch covid & develop long covid regardless of your vaccination status).

1. "Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues."

I understand how that can be difficult to deal with, trust me. There are specific masks (such as most standard KN95s) that irritate the hell out of my face after a certain point. The way those specific masks brush against the hairs of my cheeks just make me want to rip the mask off my face completely. Finding alternatives has been a lifesaver, and they've allowed me to get through the day without wanting to maul someone lol. I don't know what masks you have tried out already, so I'll just recommend the one's I like as well as the one's I've heard good reviews on from people that also have sensory issues:

NIOSH 3m Aura N95 Respirators

Flo Mask

GATA Mask (Haven't tried this one yet, but I've heard a LOT of people say this has been a game changer for them because of how comfortable it is & how it doesn't trigger much sensory issues at all due to its silicone material. Probably the only con I've heard is the chance of the build up of moisture in the mask after a long period of use & water possibly dripping on your face— this happens to me sometimes with my Flo Mask. Edit on Sept. 26, 2023: I tried GATA Mask, and I personally have a tough time getting a comfortable fit & seal with it, even when getting the small/medium size for adults to see if it'll make a difference, and the nose bridge shape not fitting well for me is a huge con. Customer service is just suggesting I spend more, so I'll just give this one a break, for now at least. A lot of other people seem to like it though.)

Halyard FLUIDSHIELD [ASTM Level 3] Mask (My mom works in a hospital, and these are masks she brings home from work. They're VERY comfortable for me, especially when I'm masking at home. I recommend finding a way to tighten the loops that go around your ears to prevent as much gaps around the mask as possible. If tight loops hurt your ears easily, I recommend a mask brace.)

O2 Nose Filters (I haven't tried these out yet as well, but I've seen videos demonstrating how effective these are at filtering out SOOO many unseen particles. I don't recommend using these alone of course, because there's still a risk of inhaling harmful aerosols through your mouth. I would recommend using this as a reinforcement of the protective measures you take. For example: adding on a comfortable surgical mask— ideally one with a high filtration efficiency like the previous suggestion— with the nose filters. I think these nose filters would be great if you're removing your mask real quick to take a sip of water or if you're outdoors with enough distance from crowded areas & groups.)

In the ideal world, more people would mask during this on-going pandemic so those that deal with sensory issues and/or those that straight-up can't wear a mask due to medical reasons wouldn't have to worry so much about choosing between existing & risking their health. For now, we just have to find alternatives.

2. "Do I need to wear a mask outside forever?"

My answer to this is: yes until further notice. There's no foreseeable end to this pandemic right now, but it would be worth the patience to wait for adequate tech, treatment, and cures for covid-19 to be released before even thinking about getting loose with masking.

Societal mandates have been dropped way too soon, and public health in regards to covid-19 is being forced on us as an individual responsibility. As a consequence, this gives this rapidly mutating virus a lot of wiggle room to spread and do whatever it wants. This means doctors and experts don't have much answers yet for adequate treatment because there's a MAJOR lack of containment (such as masking & quarantining) and documentation (such as testing & reporting). This isn't to say there hasn't been any advancements whatsoever: for example, Washington University just developed a breath test for covid that gives results in just 1 minute! This is great news! And this is just one reason why it's very necessary for those who can mask to mask, so scientists are given more time to roll out helpful solutions & tools sooner.

Another thing I'll add is if you're symptomatic and/or are positive for covid, you should 100% be wearing a mask no matter what, point blank period. I say "and/or" because it is VERY much possible to have covid and not experience any symptoms at all; this is a major reason why it's necessary to mask up in public consistently, because you can't always know who you bump into that may have covid or not.

3. "Even if we don't have covid, we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right?"

Yes, there is a possibility of spreading airborne diseases to vulnerable people unknowingly— without the protective & preventative tools that is.

I can only speak for America because that's the cultural zeitgeist I grew up in, but: I feel like many of us can agree that, unless you worked in a healthcare setting, what was "normal" (in America) before 2020 when it came to airborne illness prevention was definitely not the regular use of a mask. American health education mainly taught us if we're coughing & sneezing to try to do so in a tissue or into your elbow, as well as frequently wash our hands. That doesn't account for the way air actually works though. For instance, if someone with the common cold coughed into the inside of their elbow, the particles they coughed out are still able to linger in the air because their elbow isn't creating a tight seal around their mouth (their elbow may have caught the droplets from their cough— which are bigger & heavier— but the smaller, lighter aerosols would just spread around similar to how smoke does); it's the difference between 😪 vs 😶‍🌫️. The only sure way for the germs they've coughed out to be blocked from spreading to other people is if they wear a well-fitted, quality mask/respirator.

I feel like health education from a young age should include the benefits of masking; that way it would be easier to adapt to the need to put on a mask to protect ourselves & others as a collective. It would be phenomenal & wonderful if we as a collective were used to masking the same way we're used to putting on socks before putting on our shoes.

4. "Immunocompromised people have always and will always exist"

Yes, that is true. And that means necessary measures taken to protect them, as well as other vulnerable people, should be the standard.

5. "[Covid] can't be the only airborne disease out there"

Of course not. There's plenty of them. However, not all airborne diseases are the same, nor should they be treated as such. What's been observed in regards to the long-term effects of covid is not at all the same with other airborne diseases. Covid is a highly contagious virus that is more than just a respiratory disease. Its goal is to attack your immune system, nervous system, heart, brain, and/or other vital organs. That's what viruses do. They act smart and sneaky, and they have the capability to trigger illnesses in your body that you may not have had pre-infection:

Chickenpox is known to lead to shingles

Epstein-Barr is known to lead to mono

HPV is known to lead to cancer

Covid-19 has been found to lead to:

POTS

ME/CFS

Stroke & Heart attack

Alzheimer's

Dementia

"Brain Fog"; Memory & Concentration Problems

The list goes on, and these are only what we know of. Covid may not be the only airborne disease, but it definitely is a dangerous one with serious, long-term negative effects.

6. "Do you feel that we should all be masking all the time, whether or not covid-19 exists?"

In regards to masking with the existence of covid:

Yes. Masking is a vital method in the prevention of catching & spreading covid-19, because it is primarily spread through the air.

In regards to masking without the existence of covid:

See my answer for number 3, and also: given the fact wearing a mask can only do more good than harm for most folks, I don't see why not. Imagine a world where we don't have to worry about flu season or allergy season anymore because those aerosols are filtered out from consistent mask wearing. Sounds like the dream to me lol.

-

I hope this made sense! If anyone has anything they'd like to add to answer anon's questions, please feel free to share!

Thank you for reading 😷

[pumpkinsy0]

SHEPARD FAM CAREER HEADCANNONS?????

i just woke up so excuse me me if i read this wrong and gave u somethin u aint ask for</33

tim - butcher

•said it multiple times, rhis is just him, he wanted extra cash and wanted it to have a steady reliable flow of it

•he also wanted a job where still nobody could mess w him if the did come in, yknow????

•w his record, its a miracle, maybe the boss just dont rlly care that hes in the gang and just wants the job done or this is a job tim get when hes older, maybe its a mix of both, either way his boss thought he would be an important asset in he was hired

•hes oddly graceful w it, he finds in theraputic, its odd to witness but that nigga has a way w the cleaver and knife, its pretty terrifying, maybe tim shouldnt have a job no more

•yes btw he somehow uses what he’s learned in how he fights, im not saying hes out there KILLIN ppl w his knives btw, however when it comes to rumbles w weapons, hes truly on another level

•he brings home meat for angela and curly, its mostly bacon, but he brings other stuff too, curly loves eating meat (pause on that😭) so he dont mind but ik angela gets sick of it sometimes and just wants rice or somethin

curly - he’s had like several different jobs😭

•like i could genuinely see curly as that guy whos job jumping, he’s been a janitor, a airport baggage handler, camp counselor, rn tho hes a line cook/dishwasher

•out of all three of em, i dont know HOW THIS GUY GOT A JOB, but yknow what, he got it, hes that guy that always has a new job when u see him, was he fired or did he quit??? nobody knows, u just see him pop up behind a counter some place

•he’s that coworker whos always in the back fucking around, god forbid hes the one supposed to be training u, man he’s teaching u some tricks and then leaving u to the wolves mid way

•he NEEDS a smoke break, he hates staying in one place for too long, especially in that hot ass kitchen, hes getting overstimulated and accidentally snapping at ppl someone save him

•hes not a good employee, i promise u if u got a weird ass order, he will look at u strange, and if he can sense u got social anxiety he’d probably fuck ur order up a lil bit bc what r u gonna do??? come back and tell him he got it wrong🤨🤨🤨

•chances r the place he works at is some money laundering scheme hes clueless about, he just say they were hirin and thought “eh why not”

angela - retail or fast food worker but if she tried, she could be a model

•the only one w a clean slate, her getting a job is no hassle

•shes literally nicole from bistro huddy, need i say more, she never wants to work but honestly who does???

•shes that girl listening to this poor single mother of 4 in the break room venting about how badly she needs this money to support her kids, meanwhile angela just wants to buy some damn clothes and make up😭

•man she’s never came to work in a good mood, when she wakes up she sighs putting on that uniform, but i’ll tell u what, she WILL make that uniform look good, shes a good designer w what shes got

•the customer is never right when ur in her presence, shes very intentional w what she does

•if u wanna go the model route, its bc someone took a pic of her at work and it blew up n she got recognized by modeling agencies or somethin, shes def just got “that look”, curly prolly got it too tbh, someone take a pic of him and test the waters, they can be like a two for one deal typa twin models🗣️