#i just know haruka and nishiki are not having it most of the time

[ocrukoji]

credit for that one picture

[uhohmichio]

I've been thinking about Mayumi and Kiryu's relationship in yakuza 5....

[SPOILERS FOR YAKUZA 5!!!]

I haven’t seen too much discussion around their relationship other than her irrelevancy (which yeah she really got the short end of the stick but also shes on the cover?) or how Kiryu’s disinterest in her makes him asexual. While the asexual interpretation is valid, I don’t necessarily think he is and during this game I think his depression is the main reason he acts so disinterested in Mayumi. From the rooftop scene, we know kiryu was at his lowest of lows during the six month period he’s been away from the orphanage. At this point of his life, he’s lost his foster father, his brother, the love of his life, his rikiya, has separated from someone he fell in love with, and now separated from haruka, everyone from morning glory and his community in okinawa, while also staying away from tojo members (like having to distance himself from daigo). It was the first game in my play through (y0-y5) that opens with kiryu in a long period of isolation and grief. [in previous games it opens with him meeting up with nishiki or haruka/at morning glory] I think Kiryu was so depressed from being separated from everyone, he just allowed Mayumi to stick around because he wanted some sense of normalcy in his life in fukuoka. (He has lived the past ~5 years living in a house full of kids, I’ll bet company comes as normalcy for him) They did establish some sort of romantic relationship since Mayumi says “We’ve been together for six months, yet we’ve never had a moment like this”. So they have yet to fill this expectation of physical intimacy their agreed relationship has. But depression can morph/dampen the way you express or feel love, so maybe Kiryu was trying during this time and the most he really could do was just passively allow her presence/company or he just kept her around for company and convenience and settled for a distant but peaceful relationship. Meanwhile, Mayumi delegates herself to performing acts of service; she helps him cook, clean, and do basic tasks around the apartment. His apartment is so bare and spotless, I don’t think he’s bothered to decorate and make it feel like home (other than a photo he puts in a corner) and I don’t think it would be as clean if Mayumi wasn’t there. She’s probably also convinced herself that her way of helping is helping him emotionally. As Below.

I think Kiryu’s reaction is him partly in disbelief that anything she does would make him happy. But he also probably doesnt feel much of a difference when she is there and wouldn’t want to outright say that to her. However, he does complain about her cleaning his shit, bc that’s something he probably feels he should do himself.

Kiryu’s never really had very traditional relationships and this one is no exception but his depression heavily affected how he treated Mayumi and their relationship.

Anyways, despite him complaining to her about her cleaning his shit and acting indifferent and disinterested in every single interaction with her, he still thanks Madarame for sending Mayumi to accompany him. From all the events leading up to this point that have shaken kiryu up to rise to action and with Mayumi’s true identity revealed, he’s come to realize his appreciation for Mayumi’s company. So I’d like to believe his gratitude towards Mayumi and Madarame was genuine even if he couldnt reciprocate Mayumi’s feelings.

[nishitanis-left-nut]

yakuza 6. first and foremost, it didnt count the continues but i only died once. you know how on the way to that one boss fight we had to jump across platforms because there was the sea bellow? yea i walked off a platform cuz i wanted to see what would happen. i died is what happened.

THE KIDS AT THE ORPHANAGE NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN-

i usually add pictures of the stuff and scenes i talk about but i was too busy whipping tears off my face during the last chapter and i dont really feel like watching the cutscenes back any time soon cuz i dont wanna cry again, also sorry if i ramble more than usual

i thought the whole "kiryu is daigos mom" thing was just the fandom talking about them endearingly since to me they saw each other as brothers and unofficial kyodai, but that letter broke me. i think the only other times ive cried that hard during one of these games was probably when kiryu got stabbed in kiwami 2, and in 0 with nishiki and majima and then in kiwami with the majima saga and nishikis death (talking about nishikis death- was that ghost of him at new serena really necessary they had to render a whole ass shot of his corpse for that and all for what just to break my heart all over again?? monsters)

and this game hurts for so many reasons all at once that i dont even know how to talk about it?? kiryus such a tragic character and watching him grow older and throw everything away lose everything is a special type of hurt. his stubbornness and self sacrificing nature and belief that he doesnt deserve anything or worse that he ruins everything he touches DO YOU SEE WHY I CANT FIND HOW TO TALK ABOUT HIM-

haruka being just like him also hurts my soul, she had no reason to leave morning glory the same way kiryu had no real reason to fake his own death at the end but they still did. they care so much about the people in their lives that they would rather make themselves suffer than feel like an "inconvenience", even when the people theyre supposedly inconveniencing are screaming in their faces that they love them and would gladly help carry the weight of whatever their carrying ten times over

and yea kiryu DIDNT have any good reason to leave. thats still something that bothers me or maybe i missed something since, again, i was bawling my eyes out. hes not the only one who revealed the secret, nagumo and the others were right there with him hell he wasnt even the one to get the boat out of the water so why was he the only one threatened??? why did he suggest faking his own death (aside from a weak attempt to hold himself accountable for... existing)? like i get because of his influence they would want to make sure that him specifically keeps his mouth shut but????????

a part of me kind of feels like if Date wasnt such a push over and didnt have kiryu on a pedestal he mightve had a shot at talking him down from a lot of things through the games. he couldve put his foot down and threatened to tell everyone the truth or to arrest him or at the VERY least refuse to play along, he couldve punched some sense into him he couldve done anything else instead of just indulging him through the years

then again... kiryu is a man. let me kind of elaborate on that cuz im not sure what i mean myself. kiryu IS masculinity, hes everything any man with a good head on his shoulders should look up to (hell its affected me in my daily life too, in a positive way) but hes also very much the macho ideal in some ways, which is to say, you shouldnt actually want to BE like him. his stubbornness is part of that, not listening to reason because "he knows best" and refusing help left and right when he needs it the most (i still stand on that if he'd let Majima come down to okinawa with him the orphanage wouldnt have gotten destroyed and Rikiya probably wouldnt have died)

im assuming kiryu found out kiyomi wasnt really dead later on but that fight mustve fuked him up pretty bad and solidified it in his head that "he ruins everything" and doesnt deserve a chance at a normal life since sooner or later the tojo always come knocking at his door

i find him really relatable in these later games bc of a phew things honestly, and thats kind of helped me figure out some shit about myself. kiryu is someone who lives for the people in his life. him and majima are driven by love and loyalty, almost to their own undoing. their mental state and principles are so crucial to the games as a whole that i sometimes forget how dense the "crime drama" parts of the games actually are and how theyre supposed to be the main thing (as i saw someone mention here recently about yakuza 3: "someone put obligatory fighting in my dad simulator 3000")

this was more rambly and incoherent than usual, i really dont know how to go about talking about this game. I think playthrough-wise i had more fun with yakuza 5 but kiryus story kind of "ends" in this one. i know theres the kiryu gaiden and then infinite wealth but you get what i mean, this chapter of his life is over and hes never getting it back. i dont play a lot of games but the ones i have always seem to have a mostly "happy ending" so how yakuza 6 made me feel was definitely a welcomed first. kiryus such an amazing character and im real grateful to the studio for treating him and the franchise with respect honestly (although i have my own personal qualms about how the games have shifted over the years but its not things that "ruin" them for me by far so eh)

im excited to finally get to ichiban though, i knew i was gonna love him and so far yea i was right. ill most likely make a post about him when ive played a phew more hours. the silly.

[fabiansociety]

How do you interpret Kiryu’s sexuality?

Ah, the real Yakuza rorschach test! "Interpret" is right, because the games are a real hot mess of subtext and text, so it's definitely something that each reader of the series has to figure out for themselves, and you can make a case for just about any interpretation, particularly as you shape it through play.

Personally, I read Kiryu as a homoromantic heterosexual asexual, if that makes any sense? his relationships with men are usually the deepest and most passionate from an emotional standpoint, with the obvious standouts being nishiki, majima, and rikiya, but he also has similarly affectionate relationships with side characters like Pocket Circuit Fighter and shinji. he enjoys spending time with women, but it's almost always heavily ritualized and paid for through hostess clubs; none of the hostesses you talk to in the games come back, with the exception of yuki and koyuki, who he knew as coworkers rather than romantic partners.

he does sleep with women, but he's increasingly uninterested in pursuing sex as the series goes on. by yakuza 5 or 6 or so, he's much more the prize for the hostesses rather than the player — that is, he will sleep with them if they offer, but he doesn't particularly want to. in general kiryu has a very difficult time saying no to sex with people, even if he's not particularly interested in it, and seems to approach it as a man's duty rather than a passion the way shinji did. his approach to sex is utilitarian and voyeuristic, and primarily a biological need to fulfill. he does enjoy a certain amount of peeping — see his enthusiasm for gravure, webcams, and hot springs ping pong — but when his interactions with women move away from friendship or camaraderie he gets increasingly uncomfortable. it's notable in Infinite Wealth that he can name only two important romantic relationships with women in his life, both from decades prior, and he never actually dated yumi or kaoru. his affection for them is as symbols rather than as people.

in any case, i don't think kiryu thinks of himself this way. i think he knows he's put off by sex and doesn't really think about why he gets so particularly flustered when men flirt with him and not when women do. he was happy to devote himself to his jobs as a yakuza, as a prisoner, and as a father, none of which gave him an opportunity to interact with adult women particularly. he remembers hot men fondly — he comments frequently on how hot haruka's husband is, and reminisces fondly about pretending to be a couple going to a love hotel with rikiya. what his sexuality might have been if all his romantic energy wasn't channeled into brawling at a young age is impossible to know, but like many a man before him, kiryu is invested heavily in rituals that let him touch the skin of other men.

[rnn11203]

Unpopular majima opinion (DV mention) : I have a really complicated relationship w majima.. i think really it’s fandom perception that bothers me the most. I despise the narrative people push about his “mad dog” persona, saying it’s “just a persona and hes actually a really intelligent and thought out guy”. I HATE when a crazy character is revealed to not actually be crazy and is like a mastermind or whatever, i prefer him crazy, and disillusioned. I also am so tired of the “more majima” “majima backstory” “majima gaiden” especially when DAIGO is right there?? (Look im not going to go into a daigo rant rn but to summarize it, daigo literally hasnt gotten his time 2 shine and i think a daigo gaiden (daiden lol) would work really well, like this guy has had SO many people try to betray him, i would love to see a game where he earns, no demands respect!) but anyways, back to majima, he LIKES to fight yk? He LIKES violence, he has NO problem being violent towards anyone, literally threatened haruka?? Honestly i think majima lovers try too hard to make their fav a “good guy”, honestly i think the entire fandom has a problem with insisting some characters are good people.. at the end of the day, their yakuza. They hurt people. Good people. Bad people. Innocent people. Not so innocent people. And i hate when people try to say that the whole park DV situation is “ooc” when really.. is it? At the end of the day he is a man and she was literally 17-18 so.... (and also just to add this i HATE when people are like “oh she was so mean to that guy he literally killed her” like wow a man killing a woman because she was mean to him? Are you serious?) i want to add that i DO like him as a character, im just.. exhausted by him ngl T_T also due to personal reasons i do feel a little sensitive about people denying the DV..like seeming nice guys are still capable of such a thing, but also i acknowledge this is entirely fictional so i dont think defending him actually makes u a bad person or anything, i sorta encourage ignoring canon facts abt ur fav anyways (mine yoshitaka is in the fish shack i just know it) in fact this is all just my opinion yk.. im not saying “oh ur fav is problematic” or anything bc yk.. my favs r mine, nishiki, and aoki so really we r same coin diff sides

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

I started going through Ishin 👀 I'm a good ways into the game, but I don't think I'm gonna do like a full plot progression thing like with the other games. Just gonna get some of the highlights, and maybe discussion if something hits me especially hard.

This post goes up to... the end of chapter 3/early chapter 4! Some general thoughts about the game at the end of the post ✌🏻

...For free, RGG?? 😳

Okay, can we talk about the fact that Ryoma's eyes are somehow the most beautiful thing on planet earth? This man looks like he has eyeliner on 24/7 😩 absolutely obsessed. I'm like genuinely mesmerized at times.

I KNOW these aren't like the actual characters they look like, but having the Nishiki-lookalike NOT being the brother here made me wanna cry. AND we're already in bad terms with him?? Ouch... I was so excited to see some brotherly interaction between these two!!

Shibusawa Lite™ can piss off 😭

This scene was RAW. Like genuinely. The fact that Ryoma survived that jump is incredible 😭 Him jumping itself wasn't a surprise at all, though.

...for free?? Again?? THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU, RGG 🫡❤️

Ryoma interacting with kids gives me life. I just... man 😭😭 I MISS YAKUZA 3 I MISS MORNING GLORY I MISS OKINAWA I MISS KIRYU BEING HAPPY WITH HIS KIDS AUGHHHHHHHHH

Ryoma is so earnest and kind about helping this child 🥺 About helping everyone!!

Insane quote. Very meme-able. The pipe adds an extra spice that I really dig; it makes this fucker feel even more suave than before. Consider me charmed.

Of course he wants a piece. I mean... can you blame him?

Well. I guess we know how this man feels about pulling out, now... Didn't have THAT on my Ishin bingo card. Nor did I have the full shot of Ryoma's ass within the first 30 minutes of the game on there, either. This game is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Okita is... very interesting this far. He feels unpredictable and dangerous. Even more so than, say, Majima in Kiwami. Since I'm still in the early game, I can't be certain if the unhinged guy I'm seeing is all there is to him or not.

Oh? So is the Shinsengumi a group that bullies orphans in this game? That's an interesting take. Maybe we'll burn down an orphanage or two. Or ten, since this guy looks the type to be into that sort of thing...

OKAY I'M SORRY MINE STANS, I'LL TRY NOT TO BE A HATER 😭😭 I will approach this character with an open...er mind. I promise.

General thoughts:

-I really like the fighting styles! Except swordsman, it just sucks compared to Wild Dancer 🙃 Wild Dancer might just make my TOP3 fighting styles list.

-The side content in this game is incredible! I love these substories, the villa, the bounties, adopting animals... I don't usually do the bigger side things (like the taxi and hunting minigames in Y5 for example), but the Second Home stuff is gonna be an exception for sure.

-I know they wanted to make the characters look like their original counterparts, but I find Haruka's character model (specifically her face) kind of unnerving

-The weapon crafting system is a tad too complicated for my tastes, but it's manageable enough!

-Karaoke song selection just sucks and I don't like the irl woman jumpscares 😭😭

-Haruka and Mame being in the games hurts me very bad and makes me want to punch a concrete wall🙃🙃 God I miss Y3...

-Money is very tight. Maybe I just haven't found THE grinding method, but it's rough out here!

-Ryoma is what I've always imagined Kiryu being like in that weird time period between Y0 and Kiwami. I don't know what it is, he just fits the exact character that pops into my head whenever I try to imagine Kiryu at that point in his life.

-Even though the camera is a hot mess, I like wandering around town! It feels very lively and cozy. I like how many different shopkeepers and other people you can befriend 🥺❤️

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Just finished watching the Yakuza stage play, notes I took about it under the cut both because I wrote a lot + spoilers

Them projecting (?) the character's name and role onto the stage so it looks like the in game text, cool as hell

Majima's little pose during his introduction, no notes

Yumi :)

There's a flashback w/ the sunflower trio where they kind of just potrtay themselves as kids (source of that one nishiki crying clip)

Shinji has hair???

Oh Nishiki... :(

The opening bit is super neat

Sera being off screen/invisible is a neat touch I think

HARUKA

The scene transitions are fantastic

"Yuya! Sit."

Coin locker mechanic mention!!

Yuya ily

RYUJI GODA????????

KIRYU-CHAAAN

"baldy"

Chekov's stomach wrap

He really just goes after him huh (this whole scene is gold)

Here she is!! (Again)

So Ryuji's just here now okay

The Florist hiiiiii

Florist groove

"Could ya super pretty please come to the batting centre? I really need your head..." what did he mean by this

Another delicious scene transition

"How did he know about us?" what did he mean by this. The sequel

I love the cuts to whatever Nishiki's doing really helps round out his motivations

Yuya reminding us to go piss

Florist rakugo?

Awww

Kiryu's stilted laughter he's so

Then I took a break to play taiko no tatsujin because I heard Machine Gun Kiss had been featured in it before and I've been obsessed with that song lately

Oh so that's where the mention of Kiryu hating green peppers comes from (if it was mentioned elsewhere I haven't seen it)

They're so... I'm going to blow up

Reina :(

Shinji :(

Kiryu slow down you're going too fast for Haruka

THE FUCKING NPCS HELP

This Majima makes such noises. Kookaburra man

Man the fight choreography in this show is gorgeous

The game footage of the yacht...

If you took a shot every time they said "10 years" you'd die

Kazama down

I'm curious on how they did switching between Yumi with long and short hair, it doesn't look like a wig but I can't be sure

I don't have a tonne to say here because for the most part it plays pretty similarly to the game (except like. ryuji was there for a bit)

I'm so full from Staminan Royale yum

Another One

HERE HE IS. MR TEN YEARS

Oh no here's the part I've been dreading :( Nishiki I miss you every day

Ryuji you fuck (still have no idea why he's here)

[koorinokujira]

Yakuza Kiwami is an AMAZING game and I'll shove my love for it in everyone's faces now

So, I kinda realized I didn't make this post yet, and I literally finished Kiwami 2 yesterday, so... whoops? But no matter, better late than never, as they say! Spoilers below, like always, so keep reading at your own risk!

So, Yakuza Kiwami. I've actually seen a full playthrough of it a few years back, so I roughly knew what was waiting for me, but my memory is not my greatest strength, so I luckily forgot most of it. And honestly, even knowing some stuff didn't take away my enjoyment at all!

Now, I gotta say, playing this right after 0 was insane. It made my immersion so much better, and really made me feel things more strongly. I was violently dragged out of the relative peace I got after the whole fiasco with the Empty Lot, the familiar streets with shops and minigames I knew and loved into a new, unfamiliar version of Kamurocho along with Kiryu. It was rough- a lot of things stayed the same or at least similar, but there were enough differences for it to feel like a mockery of all the things Kiryu held dear. He was lost in a place he used to know intimately, and that really got to me, because I had just finished the previous journey with him and Majima.

And slowly unraveling what happened to Nishiki and seeing him fall so far from the bro we used to know genuinely hurt. Especially knowing that he wasn't a bad person before and that he was a sensitive soul that got completely crushed by the circumstances in his life.

As for the story and characters in general, I loved it, it got me in the feels and I was hooked the whole time! While I still think 0 is the best from what I played so far, this story was also amazing. Majima going all out in all the fights and with costumes and disguises, Date-san being an incredibly pathetic man and father who pulled through in the end and sorta sharing that with the Florist, Haruka being a little badass, Reina's tragic, misguided love... there was so much that I adored about this game, and the characters in the main story never really fell flat for me. It also made me love Kashiwagi even more, I just love it when he's there. And the ending was pretty heartwrenching too, though I wish it focused more on Nishiki's death than Yumi's, as I felt their brotherly bond ran way deeper than Kiryu's relationship with Yumi. But that's just my opinion, I still cried and thought it was pretty solid!

Then there are the sidequests. Hoo boy. I have to admit, I didn't really like those that much. They just lacked the spark that the ones from 0 had, and seemed somewhat repetitive in their themes. And there was of course also those very questionable ones. Of course, there were some pretty good ones too! And I had a blast in the whole Pocket Circuit saga, I love Fighter with all my heart.

Speaking of Pocket Circuit, the minigames were still really enjoyable, but I really missed Disco, to be honest. I wish you could groove in a club somewhere at least. The Karaoke gave me whiplash because it was so different (post Yakuza 0 immersion strikes again), and I hated the new version of Heartbreak Mermaid. But I have to admit, I absolutely loved Iji Sakura 2000 and definitely sang it way too many times.

Gameplay was pretty good too! I didn't really like some changes to the fighting system, but overall, it was still really enjoyable to punch everyone in close vicinity. I learned to use Dragon Style a lot more, in 0 I barely used it even though I had it. Tiger drop is spectacular, I will never sugarcoat anything ever again. The upgrade system took some getting used to, but it ended up being my favorite as it was more clear-cut and it was mostly stuff I'd actually use. The Majima Everywhere thingy was pretty fun most of the time! It could get a bit tedious to find specific Majimas, but I got through it like a champ.

So overall, amazing game as the title says, and I will also make another post with some funny screenshots for this game soon! Thank you for reading, and like always...

Have a great day!

[overdevelopedglasses]

Tojoctober Day 9 - Fear

(I don’t have a telepathic heart)

Alt title is from “Telepathic” by Starset

Haruka has a nightmare.

(Kiwami spoilers, takes place in between Kiwami and Kiwami 2)

—--------------

A gunshot. Kiryu cries out in pain. 

“Kiryu!” Jingu shouts, somehow conscious and alive. He points the gun at Kiryu, ready to end his life. Haruka throws herself in front of him, ready to protect the one man who’s helped her all this way.

“Haruka!” Kiryu shouts. A second gunshot goes off. Haruka’s vision fades…

Haruka wakes with a start. Heavy breaths work their way through her, and she starts to shake, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. Why did she have to remember that guy? The awful man who took her mother from her, and almost ripped her world apart just when she got a grasp of it.

She saw the guy get stabbed and then blown up, so why was she so scared of him?

Haruka swings her legs out of bed and starts creeping towards the main room of the apartment she's in. As she walks into the space, the windows letting in just a fraction of moonlight, she sees the slumbering form of the only other resident here.

"Uncle Kaz?"Haruka whispers quietly.

The form on the futon shuffles, and a lamp turns on. Kiryu, shirtless and bleary eyed, sits up and stares back at Haruka. His voice is a bit deeper than normal, but still carries the soft tone he always uses with the girl.

"What is it, Haruka?"

"I, uh…" Haruka stops for a second, suddenly hesitating. Was she really going to admit that she's scared of a man she's pretty certain is partly rubble?

"Trouble sleeping?" Kiryu asks.

Haruka shakes her head.

“Nightmare?"

Haruka hesitates again, but then nods. Kiryu turns and sits on the edge of the futon. With the added lamp light, she can easily see the intricate design that adorns his back. The vibrant colors almost make the dragon pop out at Haruka, not to mention that the tattoo was a bit frightening the first time she had seen it. But, now the dragon houses a much more tender protectiveness within it as well.

Kiryu pats a space next to him on the futon. “Come here."

Haruka walks over and sits where Kiryu indicates she can sit. He places a hand on her back, gently rubbing small circles into her. The motion soothes her mind a bit. A comfortable silence falls between them before Kiryu speaks, his voice not as groggy as it was.

“I get them too."

"You do?  A beat passes, and Haruka asks, "What are they about?"

She worries that she's upset Kiryu before he finally responds. As he speaks, she looks up and sees him a bit lost in his own mind.

“Worst case scenarios of memories, most of the time. Sometimes they're fantastical. There was one where this thing," Kiryu moves his hand away from the girl's back and uses it to pat his own, “It grew out of my back and ate me whole. Made me delay finishing it for a while," he admits sheepishly. 

Haruka giggles a bit, but then yawns. Uncle Kaz sure had some silly dreams. She feels his hand return to the small of her back.

“Do you dream of people who aren't here anymore?"

“Yeah. Do you remember Nishiki?"

“Mhm."

“Well… I had a dream about him the other night." Kiryu says. "He… he said he was proud of me, actually." It might be just him being tired, but Haruka thinks Kiryu's voice cracked a little as he spoke. 

“That's nice." Haruka responds, not knowing what else to say. 

“Yeah…"

A beat passes. Kiryu lets out a huge yawn, and Haruka suddenly feels a bit of guilt. She did just wake Kiryu up and then proceeded to ask him about his bad dreams. A little bit of childish fear washes through her.

“Are you mad at me for waking you up?"

“No, of course not! In fact, I'm glad you did." Kiryu's head turns, and makes eye contact with the young girl, his eyes softening almost immediately.

“I care about you a lot, Haruka. And not just because I loved your mother. In fact, I…"

She sees him take a deep breath, regaining a slight bit of composure. 

“You're important, ok Haruka? And sometimes it's okay to ask for help when you think you need it."

Haruka looks at her uncle. She yawns again. The relief and surge of love she just felt is quickly replaced by drowsiness. 

“Can I sleep in here tonight?"

Kiryu chuckles. “Sure thing. Do you want to just take the-oh, I see." He's cut off by Haruka grabbing onto his arm, holding it tightly against herself. “Alright, I get it. Come here."

Kiryu wraps his free arm around Haruka, and picks her up to shuffle back into a lying position. She giggles and then sighs as she's placed onto the futon. Her back is against his chest, and she's still clinging onto Kiryu's other arm like a koala, essentially pinning it to the bed. His free arm reaches and turns off the lamp before wrapping around her stomach.

“Is this comfortable?"

Haruka makes a noise of agreement. Kiryu shuffles down briefly and kisses the top of her head.

“Get some sleep, then. Goodnight, Haruka."

Haruka feels Kiryu's chest rise and fall against her, a rhythmic pattern that feels calming and safe. 

“Good night, Uncle Kaz."

I love you too. she thinks, but is both too tired and nervous to admit out loud.

As Haruka drifts to sleep, all she can feel is the warmth of Kiryu enveloping her, her fears born from her mind completely forgotten.

[squishylemonbubbles]

How about some of your favorite KZMJ headcanons? :Dc Or favorite tropes you like writing the most?

OOH MAN the hard questions!! ty!!! >:3

i love focussing on goromi and kazumi bc of those genderqueer feelings. i went on that rant the other day PFFT but it can be really hard to find characters that have a mixed/gnc presentation that aren't just treated as a joke, which. don't get me wrong, that is how goromi's introduction is treated, yet she's also given the hostess routine with a genuine conversation, which is. more than most i've seen lmao.

i think it's hard to come across online bc you don't see any of my physical mannerisms or my inner thoughts in their purest form, but my masculinity and being a man are extremely important to me - as well as my femininity, my being gnc, the days where i like settling down as a "cute girl" while never being solely that. soooo i love putting a focus on gender, presentation, the rules and what it means to break them. i will infect everyone in this series with gender if i have to (<- joke lmao)

i also love like… the interplay of majima and kiryu not necessarily taking care of themselves all the time, but absolutely putting it in for the other, and the kinds of tension that can bring when going too far to help. i do think i write kiryu in crisis more than majima - that's less trope preference though and more seeing myself in his problems a bit clearer than majima's, giving me more perspective to write from, and some of kiryu's troubles (or like, hypothetical troubles lmao) being lesser explored in my eyes

uhh hmm specific headcanons.

kiryu and majima both know JSL, but ironically it's majima who knows less - between them majima is the one with hearing problems, being another one of his complications from the hole, and another that he tries to hide. meanwhile, kiryu's generation in sunflower included a deaf kid, so it was ensured the caretakers and other kids would know at least the basics. nishiki and kiryu in particular took to becoming conversational, using it between themselves if they needed to keep things quiet, quickly flash each other a code, the works. so kiryu and majima use JSL together, not as much as speech, but it can help with keeping things quiet, or alternatively, when one of their brains is on the fritz lmao. both of them have times where they lose their speech, usually from stress, so it's nice to have signs to fall back on. (however, they can't use JSL to keep secrets from haruka, as she's learning it too!)

kiryu has kleptomania (impulse control disorder; the urge to steal is disconnected from one's thoughts on the morality of stealing, and even liking stealing at all), majima knows this, so sometimes he leaves around trinkets/straight up gifts to give him the thrill of stealing without the consequence. if he needs something back he knows he can just ask and kiryu will return it, and he trusts kiryu not to lie and say he didn't steal something when he really did.

if kiryu had to pick one favourite physical trait of majima's, it would be his face. but okay, let's say he's not allowed to do that and he has to pick any other part of majima's body? he'd say majima's back. he loves his irezumi and what it represents, not only for its intended symbolism, but also the numerous scars both physical and mental that his irezumi try to hide. he would spend hours focussing on the hannya if he could, comforting her to comfort majima in the process his next favourite trait? majima's hands. no further comment.

if majima had to pick one favourite physical trait of kiryu's, it would be his tits. this would, in fact, be a little bit of a lie. he likes the comfort of hearing kiryu's heartbeat - sometimes he has trouble feeling like he's still alive (hence my take on the zombie majima persona; it's not always a fun act) so getting to hear kiryu's life helps. but that's more embarrassing to say than just saying tits, and i mean, they are a good set of tits regardless hehehe his next favourite would be kiryu's arms. he loves that strength and, on a sappier note, those hugs.

okay i am now thoroughly brainfarting on any more to say at the moment WHOOPS 💖

[startledpixel]

i swear half of the things we know about kashiwagi come from things other people say about him (bad back anyone)

Again, an internal man! That's true... Kiryu bringing up the cold noodles, Adachi describing his hobbies, Kiryu and Nishiki being surprised Majima beat Wagi...

nishiki deserves to have a moment of being portrayed as competent for once by organising informal dinner for his bros. :)

I definitely think that of the three of them, Nishiki is most likely to do this and have the foresight to think of options that would suit their preferences (I have to believe Wagi eats things other than cold noodle bowls o_o like one bowl a day minimum but he can have some flexibility depending on his mood). Nishiki is the socially adept guy, he knew to get a gift for Yumi while Reina had to remind Kiryu, he is so underrated and I love this idea for that :3 What I like about the Majima one is that Majima is having the WORST time in Y0 and it'd be neat to see Wagi awkwardly offer a moment of kindness to him.

what's going down with haruka in 8 because they redid her princess league scene in dragon engine

👀 👀 👀 yeah, no way she doesn't play a role in Kiryu's story. Taichi and Ayako were such a lovely surprise in Gaiden! (till they devastated Kiryu, wahh)

i still just can't believe everyone who finished the game saw that scene and then only like three or four people started writing about them together LOL

apparently it's hard to see the VISION! Maybe we can get more contributions after IW 🤞

(screenshotting the replies and posting because i feel weird replying from my main <\3 hope you don't mind the ping @startledpixel )

i never even thought about it happening that way... haha... excuse me while i go scream in a corner for a couple of minutes

it ties in really well to the sort of recurring motif i see through his life that the only time he's allowed to be truly happy with himself and his place in the world is after his "death" and recovery. kazama is a very complicated character to think about when it comes to his motivations and his relationships with the people he's close with - i don't think he's very good at prioritising his emotional investments (nishiki being the obvious example, but also the way he doesn't send any letters to kiryu in jail until the last day before his parole), so to add an extra layer of tragedy to the whole thing i like to think that he hadn't been making as much time for kashiwagi towards the end than he maybe could have been. not in a premeditated disloyalty sense, of course, but he's got his hands more than full with the whole embezzling 10 billion yen from the tojo coffers gambit... kashiwagi being the way he is though would be all the more desperate for reconciliation, and to then not get it before kazama kicks it would be the icing on the shit cake

but yeah KNOWING adachi was in the building with everyone else must have been like reliving his second-worst nightmare... meeting this man he thought he'd be able to settle down with for the first time in sixty odd years but still constantly having to worry after him. i still adore no idling as an exploration of those feelings after the fact & i find myself coming back to it an awful lot as someone who doesn't generally read fiction more than once or twice unless i'm trying to find something specific (if you may allow me my nerd moment)

it's something i would love to explore more myself, but i don't really feel i have the means to do it in a way in which i'd enjoy the end product... but i suppose that's what commissions are for!

ANYWAY, apparently, everyone kiryu meets in his side story gives him some kind of reward, and i'm having A Time thinking about what he might get from kashiwagi. i'm trying not to set myself up to be disappointed by what happens, but there's a big part of me that hopes kashiwagi pulls "suzuki" to the side and leaves whoever else on the bar for a while so they get a chance to actually catch up. i think at this point both of them really need something like that, because i doubt there's any way kashiwagi didn't get the news that kiryu "died" in 2016

the other big thing that's got me physically shaking is the idea they might finally namedrop him. and uuhhh if they still let us karaoke at survive then i hope judgement gets its own cinematic. : )

[designernishiki]

as much as a i understand and respect ace kiryu truthers, i really feel like kiryu is the type to really take the idea to heart that sex is something vulnerable and meaningful and thus reserved for someone completely trusted and special to him– someone who feels right. after years and years he’s still never legitimately voluntarily slept with someone, always tries to turn women away or is at least apathetic when they try to get physical with him, never feels that deep and specific bond with a woman– nothing compared to some of his bonds with other men throughout his life. and maybe, hopefully, one day it’ll hit him that there’s a pretty big, glaring reason why no women have ever felt “right” to him.

[kingzephy]

I have to drag this to a text post cuz my reply is getting way too long and I wanna put these together!!

@slothfuljeremiah @nowhere302

A8 - Favorite song(s)?

Ohhhhh strap in I have a lot of songs to talk about. Gonna break this down by game. I decided against doing any of the karaoke tracks cuz that would be its own big list by itself!

0 - ‘Pledge of Demon’ (Kuze’s theme from the sewer tunnel fight) is sooooo good I think most people would say thats probably the best track from 0

I also absolutely ADORE ‘For Buddy’ (Nishikiama’s ‘For Who’s Sake’ remix from the Nishiki Majima fight) it has a completely different vibe from ‘For Who’s Sake’ and the significance of it is so good. It somehow makes ‘For Who’s Sake’ even sadder.

Honorable mention to ‘Receive You the Subtype’ remix (Majima’s mad dog style battle theme)! And the Telephone Club minigame tracks also slap

1/k1 - Is it cheating if I say ‘Receive You the Prototype’? Although I have to say, the k1 remix of ‘For Who’s Sake’ (Nishikiama’s theme from the final battle) is SO GOOD. So good...

Also… how could you not love 'Funk Goes On'?? Get Fuuuunky

2/k2 - HUUUGE FAN of ‘A Scattered Moment’ (Ryuji’s theme that plays during the final battle of 2. Its absolutely amazing, not at all what I was expecting his theme to sound like but it *perfectly* encapsulates him and the desperation and pain and sadness of the final battle in 2. One of my favorite tracks just overall.

3 - ‘Fly’ (Mine’s theme) is. Really good! I think just about everyone would say this one, I can’t really think of anything else from 3 that I would note soundtrack wise

4 - ‘Receive and Bite You’!! Majima’s receive you remix in this game is really good. So much tension leading up to the Majima Saejima batting cage fight. It hypes me up Every Time and its just very Him

5 - I thiiink im gonna have to go with ‘So Much More’ (Haruka’s…. Theme? I guess) it was stuck in my head the whole time I was playing her stuff in 5. Her other songs are good too ofc but if I had to pick one it would be that one. I know, loophole. Whatever 5 is different

6 - I really really like ‘Theory of Beauty’ (Joongi’s theme). Idk it just gets me so pumped up every time. Songs to get naked and fight to the death in the underground bdsm fight ring underneath Stardust to. Iconic. 10/10

I also really love ‘Destiny’ (Someya’s theme) its similar to how I feel with ‘A Scattered Moment’. It encaptures him and his struggle so well.

7 - Big BIG fan of both Majima and Kiryu’s receive you remixes from 7, ‘Receive You the Hyperactive’/‘Receive and Turn You’, and ‘Rolling Eyes Fall Down the Dragon Wall’ of course. Both of them are just incredible.

I also really LOVE ‘Confrontation/Brutality’, (Sawashiro’s theme) it just perfectly captures what he’s about as a character so nicely, I love him a lot. Plus it slaps incredibly hard. I think overall 7 has my favorite tracks. All the battle themes are also very good

C9 - What was the most emotional scene in the series?

This is TOUGH. Theres sooo many gut wrenching emotional scenes and these games are really REALLY good at them sometimes. Im gonna have to say something from 0 probably, that game made me cry several times on my first playthrough. So many memorable emotional scenes, but I think im gonna go with the ending. Without spoiling too much I think anyone whos seen it knows exactly what im talking about. This or the scene in the empty lot after a certain characters death (you know the one)

Honorable mention to y3 and the thing w Rikiya. yeah

D1 - Who’s the most overrated character?

First off before I say this, I really dont think ANY of the characters in this game are overrated. I stewed on this for a while, I just cant think of anyone id call truly overrated. But. Listen. Okay I cant believe im gonna say this everyone knows I love him so dearly he is my everything- but it’s Majima? I guess? I really don’t wanna call him *overrated* per se thats not the right word because he deserves all the love he gets, but he is just. so. He's Inescapable. I almost feel bad for anyone who likes these games but doesnt like him because hes quite literally everywhere- and. hes not even in the games that much!!! I quite literally cant think of any other character I could possibly say here

And its not that hes overrated, hes a fantastic character and hes SO fun to think about and analyze I love him dearly more than anything but he just blows everyone else out of the water? No contest. Its amazing. Theres just no other character quite as beloved as him in this fandom. For better or worse.

E4 - Ramen or Takoyaki?

Literally go fuck yourself. Dont pit two bad bitches against each other like this. An impossible question. Id rather die than answer this for real

F3 - Who are you inviting to karaoke?

Majima! Duh!! No question, he’s just TOO much fun- no other character has even half as much of a blast as him at karaoke. Irl I would be WAY too shy to do something like that around anyone but I think doing karaoke w him would be SO much fun and it would make me laugh like. A Lot

A5 - Favorite final boss(es)?

Im gonna be boring and say Ryuji because I love him, and he deserved so much better and that fight is so devastating. But I also really enjoy the final battle in 7, not because its particularly tough or entertaining its just the story significance of it is really cool. I wont spoil anything about it but I enjoy it!

Also. Honorable mention to Nishiki of course. I have to say him as well Rook brings up a good point tho…. final battle w Majima in y5 also..

Feel free to ask some more!

[carneflower13]

A4, A6, B4, B5, C1, C14, F5, F10 for the yakuza ask game :)

let's fucking gooooooooo

A4: Favorite Antagonist(s)?: Hmmmmmmm...I really, really do appreciate Sagawa as a villain. You never really seem to know what exactly is going on in his head...he's just so casual about everything he does and that makes him terrifying. He’s absolutely a shitty person but he’s probably the most well-written Yakuza villain I’ve seen so far so I have a great deal of appreciation for him. I also like Nishiki as a villain too, but that's largely because I liked him as a good guy first. The scene where he slicks his hair back with blood has got to be in my top 10 favorite Yakuza scenes (so far). Does Nishitani count as an antagonist? Because he's a super fun character and I adore his relationship with Majima. It really is a shame they kill him off so quickly after you meet him. :(

A6: Favorite side character(s)?: Assuming “side characters” means “non-villain characters who aren’t playable,” I like Tachibana, Makoto, Haruka, Reina, Nishida, Yuki, Lee, and Kashiwagi.

B4: Who would you like to post more about but you don’t? Why don’t you?: Probably Tachibana? Idk. He’s a very cool character and I love him a lot, but there isn’t usually a ton of content of him in the fandom. I also don’t really know what to really say about him that hasn’t been said a million times already. I usually just endlessly rotate him in my mind.

B5: Which character do you think you would bump heads with most if you knew them in real life?: Hm. It’s probably a cheap answer, but probably any of the antagonists. Also, maybe Kazama? I love and appreciate Nishiki more than he ever did, so we’d probably argue about how useful he is.

C1: What was the most infuriating moment?: Probably watching Nishiki have to put up with everyone treating him like absolute shit in Kiwami. Honestly, I can’t even blame him for going apeshit because of all that. He didn’t even do anything wrong before he became evil...he just wanted to be a good patriarch! He just wanted to save his sister! But I’ll never understand why no one even gave him a real chance after Kiryu went to jail. At least all his suffering leads up to that amazing “Nishiki covered in blood” scene I mentioned earlier. ALSO. When Kuze’s henchman dude (I forget his name and I’m not gonna bother to look it up because he’s annoying as hell) gets mad at Tachibana and kills him. Fuck that dude!! 

C14: What dynamic would you like to see more of?: I really wish we would’ve gotten more interaction between Majima and Nishitani. The scenes we did get are great, but I wanted to see them being besties! They should’ve gone to save Makoto together! There should’ve been an option for you to take Nishitani to karaoke and disco with you! Nishitani probably would still have to die at some point since it factors into Majima’s character development, but I firmly believe that they killed such an interesting and fun character off a little too early. Also, I think we should’ve seen Majima and Nishiki interacting at least once in Kiwami. Idk.... I think there’s potential there. 

F5: What would the first five pictures in your camera roll be of?: God....I don’t know lol. I don’t even really take a lot of pictures of stuff in real life lmao. I’m definitely getting a picture of the Sotenbori crab though.

F10: Who would be your kyodai?: I want to say Majima, but honestly I don’t know if he’d like me that much in real life ;w; Maybe Nishiki? Sorry Kiryu.... I’m stealing your kyodai lol. Nishiki (at least pre-Kiwami Nishiki) is such a bro. I’d be very grateful to have someone like him as my kyodai, and I think we’d get along quite well! :)

[majimemegoro]

I uh kinda went wild on this here for some reason sorry, I didn’t know you could put this much in asks? Yakuza 1 has a pretty short plot and changing some of this stuff mostly just jumps plot forward and skips more menial tasks of trying to find info when these people can actually talk, so super drastic changes are more likely to happen down the line game wise really.

Y1 role swaps for Kiryu & Nishiki and Majima & Saejima I think are largely reliant on whether each side swaps yakuza backstories I feel, do we get a one eyed Mad Dragon of Dojima(Shimano?) who’s been to the hole, and vise versa maybe Shimano’s(Dojima’s?) Hannya who helped a certain real estate agent in the 80s? Did Nishiki do the hit and Saejima kill their boss (whomever) who grabbed Yasuko? And Majima takes the fall like Kiryu did so Saejima could try to help his sister?

Bc then I see most of the game starting out similarly (less aggressive Saejima family tho, doesn’t loose it as much as Nishiki bc he isn’t swayed that easily by people, but he’s still putting up an aggressive front in hopes it makes others leave his family alone while he tries to find his sister), maybe more helpful Kiryu in majima’s role, bc he’s always a sweetie under the surface no matter what he’s been through- even with a few screws loose and much more tired, Yasuko (Yumi/Mizuki) with Haruka existing probably (no romance with either of the boys here), if we swap Shimano and Kazama then I see Shimano playing a more assholish take on the parental Kazama role, if it’s still Kazama I can see things being very different bc he probably likes saejima better and sees majima as a more reckless and less competent (aka kiryu favoritism over Nishiki scenario) so likely he’s working with Saejima but unsure he can truely leave the clan to him bc he hasn’t revealed what happened to Yasuko and by this point the damage control might be too much of an issue to properly account for, Saejima figures Mizuki is just some third party lady that Kazama got to help with the plan bc connections. But Majima still has use in another avenues to keep people’s attention off Saejima’s parts in the plan and Shimano’s efforts to power grab, but before that conversation kicks in Kazama’s shot by probably a shimano or omi guy and then majima plays Kiryu’s part finding Haruka and trying to figure out what’s up with Saejima and where Yasuko went. Then Saejima spills the beans on his part of the plan (after a fight between the two in Serena bc of course they fight) and then stuff jumps to trying to find Kazama, delivered via Nishida playing Shinji’s parts, and that plays out similarly to original except saejima and majima both show up with Haruka to the dock and saejima gets pissed at not being told what had happened to his sister till now. (Yasuko also either is mostly unaware her brother’s looking for her, or thinks Saejima knows about her already and just hasn’t done anything about it, either way she’s not happy on how that was handled when brought into the loop bc things would have been different if they’d just told her he wasn’t trying to keep his distance and was actively looking for her) But since Shimano attacks and Kazama gets to die in their arms the two don’t really get to address any of that because Kazama just gave them bigger bombshells to deal with, Saejima’s the chairman nomination here. If shimano and Kazama are switched here then he’s unapologetic as fuck as he dies (probably not by actively protecting Haruka but just happened to be blocking her anyway, she’s an asset after all to his plans) and it’s majima for next chairman bc he was gonna manipulate him probably if he hadn’t died. Then on to the ending, jingu shoots saejima to get him out of the fight and he has to retreat with Yasuko and Haruka, much to his displeasure, and majima does the tower fights with jingu, everything’s fine until jingu comes back down during their reunion stuff and maybe mortally wounds Yasuko or maybe Saejima, but regardless he gets blown up and all three of them try to do something stupid with the bomb so it cancels each other out perhaps? And maybe they all get to live because no one lets the others sacrifice themselves bc they each wanted to do it. Neither bro wants the chairmanship regardless of nomination and dump it on Terada to dip and live as a family instead. Leaving more people alive at the end of the day (unless you really want to kill off saejima and Yasuko) and the rest of the games mostly set up the same but Haruka gets two uncles and her mom.

Date is probably there throughout the story but his role doesn’t change so I didn’t mention him, he’s just helping where he can and trying to get to the bottom of everything. Similarly Kiryu’s doing basically the same thing Majima originally did but was nicer to Haruka and didn’t even pretend he wanted to kidnap her in that situation and just says sometimes you can’t avoid orders and maybe does a half hearted fight for appearances, he’d tell Majima more of what’s going on with his boss but the knife thing still happens and he’s out for the rest of the game. Shangri la is unaffected bc nishida isn’t hiding from Saejima and can tell them where Kazama/Shimano is straight out (he was still a measure to keep an eye on Saejima but his role was mostly unneeded bc Saejima wasn’t trigger happy like Nishiki). Haruka gets nicked by the snake flower triad all the same bc the dude’s unaffected by the yakuza switches. The florist might come into play to find Haruka in that situation only basically. You basically get Saejima accompanying Majima through the plot post their bar brawl aside from a few times he has to slip away to take care of other yakuza business briefly so majima and Haruka gets to wander around and bond (and get kidnapped twice). Stardust gets its opening plot beats only really, as its unneeded after. Yasuko is much more active as Mizuki than Yumi was but I’m not sure what that actually means in terms of the plot. Nishida takes over for Saejima’s family post game here keeping them in line and preventing them from becoming the mess Nishiki’s becomes in the games, though there will be issues in the future for the family bc of certain members regardless. Reina is still running her bar and with a crush on Saejima or Majima? and friend to Yasuko. She gets to be supporting cast and doesn’t die bc there’s no reason for her to. Tho I guess you might be able to switch her and mirei park if you wanted as well in the long run. Or maybe not if you want to swap Kaoru and Mirei considering Majima/Kiryu swap, I guess it depends on the swaps. As a Nishiki/Majima swap would make Reina/Mirei swap work better.

I think I have an alt take too for if it’s based around majima being the one taking Nishiki’s place rather than Saejima, that one Majima does something similar to y4 and pretends longer in order to try and bait Saejima into killing him for the perceived betrayal of loosing track of Yasuko and everything, maybe even going as far as dying in the explosion bc his guilt, leaving Saejima and Haruka the only ones alive as Yasuko was shot by Jingu. Nishiki or Kiryu in Majima’s role wouldn’t change much plot wise but lead to different dynamics between Saejima and them especially going forward, Nishiki’s much less a punchy fight at every moment man and more shooty as the Mad Koi tho so he’d definitely be a different fight

I think too hard on these things.

anon, I mean this very, very seriously: please write a story

[swaglexander-the-great]

Yakuza: Like A Dragon

I just watched the 2007 Yakuza: Like a Dragon film and DEAR GOD I need to share this experience (Spoilers, of course)

Firstly, this film just... makes NO sense. Some (MAIN) characters are not connected to each other in any way. Who are they? No explanation. Why are they here? Who Knows. Just watch them go heat mad from 32 degrees celsius and rob various stores until one of them gets shot. She breaks the news to her boyfriend that she is mortally wounded by saying ‘i will never have ur kids’ (they have never discussed children, and are like 18). The bf is, understandably baffled by this choice of words to explain a fatal bullet wound

There is a masochistic guy who Majima beats up in a basement, and to get to said basement, Majima deadlifts a door off the wall to reveal an elevator. This guy also gets punched by Kiryu and LOVES it

Bank robbery that is drawn out throughout the whole plot, but literally doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just two dudes going heat mad because something (God??) broke the air con during their heist

Kiryu’s Ass. This man has cake for DAYS. It deflects the rubble of a skyscraper at one point.

 (^^kiryu’s distractingly huge ass)

5. it took me 90% of the movie to figure out 3 depressed men in a bar were meant to be Kiryu’s host friends

6. Nishikiyama is only in the movie for 2.5 seconds and looks like an absolute, total geed

(^ my sleep paralysis demon)

7. Date-san is jarringly tall 8|

8. Apparently everyone in the city is going mad from global warming and a 3 degree raise in the overall temperature, and to combat this, Haruka chugs water.

9. Kiryu walks into a bar and three people bow on instinct alone

10. Korean assassins appear for some reason?? One of them serves drinks to 20+ policemen trapped in a 45 degree van, which has a loony-tunes style heat gauge in it

11. Majima finds a shotgun and straight up obliterates like 6 people

12. Scenes are cut into weird stop motion sometimes?? Why?? It’s usually with Majima, so maybe he just Moves Like That

13. Kiryu takes haruka, a little girl, to a brothel. The doorman leads him into a bar with a couch facing a curtain. Kiryu feels a ping in his spider-senses and dives behind the couch. At the sound of a gong, the curtain opens to reveal Majima on a golden pimp throne with a shotgun as his men fire at the now Kiryu-less couch. Majima rebukes kiryu: You brought a CHILD to a BrOTHEL??

(Glory Be)

14. Majima and Kiryu cock empty shotguns at each other for 10 seconds straight. They also punch each other in the face in what seems like an unbreakable loop for the same amount of time.

15. This Iconic moment

(what does your Eye Patch see, Majima-san?)

16. Majima smacks baseballs into Kiryu’s firm abs until the guy who throws the baseballs fucking dies. I’m pretty sure this is some sort of test, and if Kiryu passes, he gets Majima’s hand in marriage.

17. Kiryu passes the test, which leads us to whatever THIS scene is

(yes, that is a mirror ceiling in the top picture [ft. kiryu’s bubble butt], and yes, there is far too much weird grunting in this scene)

18. It is at this point that the tone of the film goes from artistically bizarre to confusingly horny (including one whole scene of Nishiki just walking and stripping off his clothes)

(get ur hand off Kiryu’s thicc bountiful ass, Nishiki)

19. Three major characters (Nishiki, Yumi, and Jingu) appear in the final 10 minutes with probably 1 line of dialogue to build up who they are through the entire film, only all to be immediately killed. I may, however, have become confused, as Nishiki, Jingu and Kazama’s names were all translated as Sanada (??) and Yumi was translated as... Jenny even though you could HEAR THEM SAYING THE NAMES.

21.  Kazama’s name was also translated to Majima, and then finally to Kazuro for some fucking reason

22. There is no explanation to why or how the ten billion is stolen. It just Was. The how is the most confusing part, as it is not a digital transaction, it is literally a comedically huge pile of cash as per the game

23. A helicopter causes a magnitude 6.1 earthquake and just casually smashes through some buildings, but is undamaged. Majima’s masochistic basement slut prays to be crushed by the helicopter earthquake. It also vibrates Majima back to life after he’s shot by Kiryu’s dad for sitting on Kiryu’s face (see above)

24. A very dramatic scene of Kiryu drinking an energy drink while the seven grown men who surround him scream

(he then bursts into flame)

25. The Korean assassins assassinate Jingu who is literally onscreen for 1 second. Yumi now blows herself up for no reason. Kiryu does not try to stop her. Kiryu respects her resolve, and his enormous cake saves him and Haruka from being crushed by the resulting rubble

26. majima just crawls out through karumocho to the batting cages to dramatically die on their stairs. His drama is foiled by a sneeze, and he realizes he is in fact not dying, but may have just caught a cold.

27. Kiryu absolutely seems to love Majima even though Majima literally murders people, beats him to a pulp, and tries to actually kill him.

28. It is never explained who Kazama is. He just appears out of the blue, and vanishes into money-filled mist at the end.

29. The violence swings between goofy gags and actually good fighting (classic yakuza), nothing is explained unless you’ve played the game, kiryu, the main protagonist spends half his time wandering around aimlessly with a girl and a dog (not explained why he has acquired these, at some point in the movie they just Appear), and at one point I think it turned into a musical so briefly that it seems like I imagined that scene

30. All in all 10/10, would watch again. Please, somebody make a friend who has never played Yakuza watch this and see what they make of it