#squishytalk

[squishylemonbubbles]

i think kiryu should visit a maid cafe with haruka because she thought it seemed so cute and kiryu gets equally into it.

like they always have those cute catchphrases to 💖 charge your food with love 💖 and haruka's like, wondering if kiryu actually will do it, she's kind of expecting he won't or that he'll be grumbly and cagey about it, and yeah it's a little embarrassing but he's gotta give haruka a good time so he puts his all into it and he's like

huh. you know that was kind of fun. silly, but fun.

and the next day when kiryu's making lunch haruka swears she overhears him say "moe moe kyun…" and she refuses to say anything because then he might never do it again

anyway they become maid cafe regulars

[deafeningfanlight23]

Y'ALL CAN YOU STOP MY NOTIFICATIONS ARE NOW SENT TO A COMA- 😭🙏

It's hard to be a famous celebrity 😔✋ LMAO 🤣

BUT LIKE ERMM THANKS Y'ALL 🤗

[squishylemonbubbles]

gay pride flag, but it's colourpicked from this friendly fella. for no reason at all.

[squishylemonbubbles]

daigo is bisexual and here's why

1. 2. have you seen this man. of course he is

[squishylemonbubbles]

i… don't know how people make these flag overlays look good, these gave me so much damn trouble. but here anyways

gay genderqueer kiryu and majima, bisexual haruka and daigo, trans woman nishida, demisexual ryuji

[squishylemonbubbles]

tbh whatever the case is for kiryu calling majima nii-san (as opposed to something like aniki) i do see it as some kind of a formality, if not one unique to them. so that's why in my fics kiryu uses it less and less, it becomes more of a show of respect specifically for his power and influence - still uses it around other yakuza/former yakuza, but only during certain moods (👀) when in private

[squishylemonbubbles]

so you know this post, ancient enough to use the old post indentation?

that's kazumaji. except... not the way you expect.

no, i say, majima is kiryu's impulse control.

see like. i headcanon kiryu has kleptomania, which itself is an impulse control disorder. it's not a love of stealing so much as it is that your brain doesn't know how to resist the urge.

you feel good in the first few minutes, maybe hour after getting away with the thievery, and then the guilt hits. you know the trouble you could get into if you were caught, you know how much this means to someone else, you wonder why the fuck you're like this. you want to stop, but it happens again like clockwork.

anyway. so majima figures out kiryu's kleptomania, and he doesn't mind kiryu nabbing things off him, as long as he's honest and gives them back when asked. that helps quell a lot of kiryu's urge, works out great - majima gets a fun little game of "delivering presents," and kiryu gets a safe release so that he can resist in day to day life.

...and then he moves to okinawa, without majima there. this one big coping mechanism is no longer possible, and the urges kick back up with no hope of stopping. the only way he can think to deal with it is try to cool himself off in other, random ways, like digging for worms without any real need, and generally taking himself out of the house so he isn't actually able to steal from the kids.

it works, technically, but it really brings back his guilt and only makes it harder to fight off as time goes on. he never even really told haruka about it, at least not in depth, out of fear he'd set a bad example or trigger something similar in her.

[squishylemonbubbles]

how could i be such a fool. lesbian pride flag colourpicked from akiyama and hana

[squishylemonbubbles]

i guess tired ramble and hope i knock myself out haha

so thinking abt goromi and kazumi like… idk i tend to use genderqueer over genderfluid, not that i have anything against the genderfluid label it's just, that's the way i understand myself? and tbf maybe that means my own experience is kind of genderfluid, but i like what i've got haha

both goromi and kazumi are born as performances that are put on, even if they do ultimately have root in long-standing feelings about the "role" of gay men in society, one loud and proud and the other repressed; one a "predator", the other denying his comfort, his very heart, to "conform".

as such their masculinity is very important to them, they're still men and still view themselves that way. phrases like "a woman who's really a man" when applied from the outside are absolute transphobic dogshit, but it can be a legitimate expression when coming from within.

like even with my own femininity, the idea of being seen entirely as a woman is very uncomfortable for me - even at my most feminine, where i happily answer to "pretty girl" and the like. to me, it's not that my gender is fluid so much as my sexuality and experiences with it (stereotype, poor treatment, failure to conform, etc) have shaped my expression of it. they're an inseparable pair!

so goromi flaunts her shamelessness, because majima knows shame well. she'll very happily tease about her tastes, dress in ways "no real man" would ever dream of, because fuck it, people don't see majima that way already. she definitely gets pissed off about people refusing to see her femininity at all, but to me it's less often about dysphoria and more often, the sense she's angry that other people can wield it as a weapon against her, but she's not even allowed it as a shield? bullshit.

and kazumi draws more from kiryu's experiences of his most repressed days; he remembers the "passive role" of which he was never allowed any partaking himself. it was him with the ideas, the money, the lead, everything - any kind of deviation met him with frustration and breakups. he's long had this sense of jealousy, not that he always completely understood that's what it was, of this soft passive femininity. but just the idea of being gay breaks the rules he'd spent so long learning - so being kazumi helps him to settle and accept affections, accept being treated and cared for.

even when the two aren't actively "playing" goromi and kazumi, just having them, their mindsets so to speak, ultimately helps them accept themselves in a world that would rather they didn't.

[squishylemonbubbles]

now i want to know your thoughts on majima/goromi in the lord of the night era 👀

so, my majima figured out his interests around puberty because, yeah that's a prime time lmao - what he felt about his fellow guys was so much more intense than what he felt about girls. but, you know, homophobia is a thing. after some nasty fights and the rumour mill starting up, he shut himself off - and even moreso on becoming yakuza.

goromi isn't given full form (or even a name) until '89, but she's there in the back of his mind as vague desires. i think the saejimas would know a little bit, but he's still really cagey about specifics. she's his defense, in a way, against the kinds of insults hurled at him. maybe some part of him is a woman, is a catty bitch, is a little bit of a slut, and why should he hate himself for that?

in sotenbori, it's never really safe to open up, and i don't think even club sunshine makes it feel fully safe (though i love the idea in others' works because majima needs happiness). he was already being taken advantage of in enough ways, and i don't doubt there was already sexual abuse both in the hole and in sotenbori - being honest in earshot of the wrong people would only make it worse.

letting the would-be goromi fight from the back of his mind was about the best he could get. sometimes he slipped a little, you know, was a little too knowledgeable even for working with women all day, too quick to answer, tried little things out only to be caught in the act. she remained mostly a fantasy figure, keeping on the down low.

buuuut. although his long hair becomes a burden for him, something that reminds him too much of everything, he does enjoy it while he has it because it's "acceptable" in the bounds he's been given. he dreams about being more open, getting to be her, looking as elegant as any of the hostesses… while knowing it'd never happen even if he was free, that he's just not enough like them to "pull it off".

so… until then? she lets her hair down in that little apartment, closes her eyes, and thinks - dreams - of what she could be.

[squishylemonbubbles]

How about some of your favorite KZMJ headcanons? :Dc Or favorite tropes you like writing the most?

OOH MAN the hard questions!! ty!!! >:3

i love focussing on goromi and kazumi bc of those genderqueer feelings. i went on that rant the other day PFFT but it can be really hard to find characters that have a mixed/gnc presentation that aren't just treated as a joke, which. don't get me wrong, that is how goromi's introduction is treated, yet she's also given the hostess routine with a genuine conversation, which is. more than most i've seen lmao.

i think it's hard to come across online bc you don't see any of my physical mannerisms or my inner thoughts in their purest form, but my masculinity and being a man are extremely important to me - as well as my femininity, my being gnc, the days where i like settling down as a "cute girl" while never being solely that. soooo i love putting a focus on gender, presentation, the rules and what it means to break them. i will infect everyone in this series with gender if i have to (<- joke lmao)

i also love like… the interplay of majima and kiryu not necessarily taking care of themselves all the time, but absolutely putting it in for the other, and the kinds of tension that can bring when going too far to help. i do think i write kiryu in crisis more than majima - that's less trope preference though and more seeing myself in his problems a bit clearer than majima's, giving me more perspective to write from, and some of kiryu's troubles (or like, hypothetical troubles lmao) being lesser explored in my eyes

uhh hmm specific headcanons.

kiryu and majima both know JSL, but ironically it's majima who knows less - between them majima is the one with hearing problems, being another one of his complications from the hole, and another that he tries to hide. meanwhile, kiryu's generation in sunflower included a deaf kid, so it was ensured the caretakers and other kids would know at least the basics. nishiki and kiryu in particular took to becoming conversational, using it between themselves if they needed to keep things quiet, quickly flash each other a code, the works. so kiryu and majima use JSL together, not as much as speech, but it can help with keeping things quiet, or alternatively, when one of their brains is on the fritz lmao. both of them have times where they lose their speech, usually from stress, so it's nice to have signs to fall back on. (however, they can't use JSL to keep secrets from haruka, as she's learning it too!)

kiryu has kleptomania (impulse control disorder; the urge to steal is disconnected from one's thoughts on the morality of stealing, and even liking stealing at all), majima knows this, so sometimes he leaves around trinkets/straight up gifts to give him the thrill of stealing without the consequence. if he needs something back he knows he can just ask and kiryu will return it, and he trusts kiryu not to lie and say he didn't steal something when he really did.

if kiryu had to pick one favourite physical trait of majima's, it would be his face. but okay, let's say he's not allowed to do that and he has to pick any other part of majima's body? he'd say majima's back. he loves his irezumi and what it represents, not only for its intended symbolism, but also the numerous scars both physical and mental that his irezumi try to hide. he would spend hours focussing on the hannya if he could, comforting her to comfort majima in the process his next favourite trait? majima's hands. no further comment.

if majima had to pick one favourite physical trait of kiryu's, it would be his tits. this would, in fact, be a little bit of a lie. he likes the comfort of hearing kiryu's heartbeat - sometimes he has trouble feeling like he's still alive (hence my take on the zombie majima persona; it's not always a fun act) so getting to hear kiryu's life helps. but that's more embarrassing to say than just saying tits, and i mean, they are a good set of tits regardless hehehe his next favourite would be kiryu's arms. he loves that strength and, on a sappier note, those hugs.

okay i am now thoroughly brainfarting on any more to say at the moment WHOOPS 💖

[squishylemonbubbles]

okay okay you want to know the things i know?

i mean i guess maybe probably spoilers ahead for yakuza 4, 5, and 6. these are mostly either through fandom exposure, or, accidental wiki skims while i was looking for something else.

yakuza 4:

akiyama and hana exist. akiyama goes AAUUUHh??? AUUHHH. AWHHN. :( at one point, and hana has a very pretty voice. some people think they should be in love, i do not know enough to have an opinion yet, but also i think hana should get a lesbian lover if she's going to have a romance.

saejima exists and he's my best friend i want to frolic in the flowers with him.

technically this was saejima's introduction to the series right? so this version of majima's and saejima's backstories came first, and then things were changed for yakuza 0... but based on what i've heard the yakuza 0 versions make so much more sense lmfao.

young majima likes melons and environmentalism

tanimura... exists. i don't know anything about him, does this guy have no fandom relevance at all??? i think the only thing i know is "tinymura" so i guess he's short. can't be any shorter than me.

haha fooled you there are two saejimas there's the big guy taiga and then his sister yasuko. i don't know anything about her except i've seen people sort of rib on the way she dresses.

yakuza 5

there's no tanimura this time, i think it's shinada instead now? he's a baseball guy. he loves his baseball. and... baseball. mmm baseball.

haruka's an idol because majima's ex-wife (?!?!?!) manipulated her and i think also kiryu.

majima's ex-wife has a tragic backstory of her own but i just can't get over trying to wrap my head around the phrase majima's ex-wife. it seems like a shitty situation all around.

there's this guy named baba and i think he has a thing with saejima? i don't know the nature of this thing. he's got a tiny little grabbable waist though so i think saejima could probably pick him up and throw him if he wanted

i've seen people reference kiryu getting hypothermia??? that shit sucks.

yakuza 6

the coma plot point comes back and this time it's haruka's.

little baby haruto gets tossed around like he's just a fucking sack of sand... darling no.

i don't know who yuta actually is as a character, but i know he's haruka's partner because i read sister. i don't actually even know what he looks like.

kiryu should be fucking dead with that level of injury.

but he isn't actually, so he just fakes it instead because this was supposed to be his last game. but then they just brought him back and are making a whole spinoff midquel anyways. so like, oops?

gay pride michi.

i think that's like, the extent of it. i hope i have brought some smiles, both funny and absolutely fucking devious.

[squishylemonbubbles]

now i'm just thinking about ghost songs

[squishylemonbubbles]

okay yakuza time again.

i don't get the idea that kiryu would outright not understand people queering gender. like even aside from all my *gesturing* kazumi, the guy hangs out at earth angel.

obviously prison puts him a bit out of the loop with changing terminology - hence my use of "born in the wrong body" from his pov, where nishida outright says transgender. that's an intentional highlight; not that the word didn't exist, but that was how it was explained to him, and it stuck even as others moved on.

but like - for all the bullshit that's pulled with goromi's initial presentation, much of his dialogue (including lines the player can't choose!) is genuinely decent. the moment goromi tries to get under his skin about having a man assigned to him, he refers to her as a cabaret girl like any other. he flirts and plays around a bit, doesn't pay mind to goromi's switching of pronouns (masculine 俺, feminine kansai うち, a bit of 私 as well), refers to her as both man and woman with the tone she puts forward.

canon does play goromi as a role and not some deeper expression, yeah, but i think if he can understand and be mostly decent about all that in a role, he can understand it as an expression too. might not have all the words, but sometimes the words are the least important part.

[squishylemonbubbles]

bf and i currently playing yakuza 0 themed monopoly in tabletop sim

this is fun

[squishylemonbubbles]

also i really like stone top hannya man.

idk in my head hannya man, is in some part, majima taking back the lord of the night, adding some mad dog flair, while being completely silent. is he holding back? giving you his full power? somehow both at once?

the lord of the night was used to control him, so no more: he is the one who controls the lord of the night, determines what anyone else can do with him.

so as much as i appreciate slutty hannya man in other people's works, to me? nothing comes off. not the mask, not any of his clothes, nothing. he gets all the pleasure he needs from making his partner feel good - using his hands, his mouth, maybe getting a bit kinky if that's the mood of the night, but always staying dressed and in control