#i just kinda don’t care anymore
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As someone who has far too much time on their hands I have waded through Ao3 and found some canon-complacent fics that do not assume that Jiang Cheng is a good brother, are not influenced by the untamed, and are hopefully to your tastes!
Our Feelings Remain Unchanged by Karmiya
When Wei Wuxian is resurrected with his original face, any plans to hide in plain sight as 'Mo Xuanyu' are ruined before they can ever begin. He soon runs into old faces, and finds that despite what he feared in his last days, Lan Wangji's feelings for him never changed; whatever they were in the first place.
I really like this author in general! All their fics are good but this is my favorite of them. It is not remaining in line with cannon because oh boy Wei Wuxian having the same face changes things starting with the fact that Sizhui recognizes him...
The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal
“We rest in the shade of trees our ancestors planted.” They called the man in the ice Yiling Laozu, after a folk hero associated with the town in the foothills of the mountains where he was found. No one expected him to be alive!
I believe you will appreciate this authors long footnotes. Also the historical details and world building is fascinating. They clearly put a lot of research into this.
this world (what I make of it) by glitteringmoonlight
The war had consequences. Once, a fully realized Avatar referred to one who had mastered all the elements and could go into the Avatar State. Now, that has changed. No one could master fire when there was no one to teach it, and people feared the abilities of a firebender too much to allow anyone, even the Avatar, to learn too much of it. Now, an Avatar was simply said to be fully realized when their instructors decided they had learnt enough. In which Lan Sizhui is the Avatar, but he cannot firebend, nor can he waterbend very well. That changes when his travels take him to Yiling.
The best avatar fusion fic I've read. No mentions of jc so far and Wei Wuxian currently remains a mysterious figure who is for sure not a bloodbender and definitely isn't in hiding.
A look back at the past (it's never like they lie) by Imnobody122
Jin Ling had always wanted to know his parents so when he heard rumors about a ghost forcing people to relive their earliest childhood memories he jumped at the chance. Things did not go according to plan. Instead he's stuck watching the childhood memories of Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling is forced to confront the truth the Sects lied about. The Yiling Laozu should not be good with children!
It's harder to get more canon complainant than when you are literally quoting the text. Don't worry the author makes no excuses for Jiang Cheng and this fic tears apart the rumors surrounding Wei Wuxian.
Return to Sender by Theasaurus_with_no_words
On yet another gray and eerie morning in the Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian wakes up with his golden core back. It turns out he lost something else in the process. (Aka: Wei Wuxian's feelings towards certain people get erased. It changes things. Is it a curse, or a blessing in disguise? And can Wei Wuxian trust himself, his choices and his priorities, after losing a defining part of who he is?)
Wei Wuxian regains his golden core and loses his loyalty due to Jiang Cheng's ingratitude. This is not a bad trade.
I hope you like them and it is kind of depressing that this list only has five entries but oh well.
Some more mdzs fic recs if anyone is interested!
#mdzs asks#colorsunlikeanythingseen#I’ve read half of these#the others must be newer or unfinished (i usually don’t read unfinished things)#so thanks for the list!#there are way more authors and fics with canon dynamics than this#admiranda and rynne are two and still currently posting#like i said the problem is not so much that i can’t find good fics if i look#but the fact that i have to search so hard to find a fic that#doesn’t treat wwx’s abuse as valid and wwx as a terrible person#makes me uninterested in reading *any* mdzs fic#whether good or bad#i just kinda don’t care anymore
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When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic
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I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.
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I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here
Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal��� environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me
#portal#portal 2#chell#wheatley#chelley#chell x wheatley#wheatley x chell#autism be damned my girl can be a child soldier#testing on people is bad#especially children#but aperture is bad so i wouldn’t put it past them#this is kinda stupid#I also like to just not think abt her backstory at all#I feel like she wouldn’t care much about who she used to be#because that person is dead and all their share is a body and first name#everyone who knew that girl is likely dead too#so there’s no point in searching for answers that don’t exist anymore#Chell is Chell and she’s okay with that#it’s like 3am sorry I just love portal it’s my special interest#yay#ughghvhghdchhf
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gives your triple baka nicotine addiction (wip… technically)
#milgram#milgram fanart#mikoto kayano#shidou kirisaki#kazui mukuhara#triple baka#i genuinely gave up on mikoto sorry dude#i just know the anatomy is fucked but i don’t care anymore aughh#i need to rebuild my line confidence it’s kinda died a little because i’ve been painting so much#anyways apple peel bird intestine hair drills am i right#chibi's art/rkgk
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My top 3 favorite Sonic characters at different times in my life
When I was a kid:
1. Tails
2. Knuckles
3. Sonic
As a teen:
1. Knuckles
2. Tails
3. Amy
In college:
1. Amy
2. Tails
3. Sonic
Now:
1. Tails
2. Sonic
3. Shadow
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#tails the fox#miles tails prower#shadow the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#I’ve just been thinking about#how my favorite characters have changed over time#and how they relate to different phases of my life#but yet the franchise has always been there#I loved Tails as a kid#but people made fun of me for it as a teen so I convinced myself Knuckles was my fave because I thought he was the coolest#then in college I was kinda in denial about my gender identity and throwing myself into anything and everything girly that I could stomach#I tried to find a version of femininity I could feel comfortable in#and Amy’s cute so I latched onto her#but honestly I think Tails was actually my favorite the whole time#I just didn’t want to admit it even to myself#but I’m in my 30s and I don’t care anymore about what other people think#and I know who I am now and I’m comfortable with myself#re embracing my love of Tails felt like re embracing my child self#my true self#and the older I get the more people try to tell me that Sonic in general is cringe#but I am long past caring about how ‘cringe’ I come across as
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Hot take of the day is that I think sanderson not letting adolin murdering sadeas have any real consequences killed like 95% of interesting debate on the morality of it
#it serves some narrative point on some character arcs#but it could have been so much more interesting than sanderson made it#like right now it’s just kinda pointless#to talk about#nobody cares about sadeas so it’s not emotional#and the closest we can get to a philosophical debate is adolin and dalinar being kinda awkward about it#which again would have been interesting if anything actually came out of it#but it didn’t#now it’s just a question of whether you should be allowed to take the law into your own hands like that#which I think could be very interesting if we took a look at the power position adolin holds#as highprince and heir etc.#should he be allowed to make that type of decisions#sadeas was an asshole but how does this play into how he solves other conflicts#if not for his dad and cousin being the ones in charge would someone else be treated differently#this type of thing was exactly why people didn’t want to work with the alethi to begin with#what are the political implications#blah blah#even if saying ‘yeah it was right it was necessary and sadeas sucked’#it would have been more interesting if there was anything to compare it to rather than just#‘well now we don’t have to deal with sadeas anymore that’s convenient’
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been trying to *properly* get into the self ship community for over a year now and it’s just hit after hit
#as my friend put it; I am very timid and flight-y but despite it all I try my best to overcome my fears#despite them being extremely founded in fact from past experiences like#and to see others get into it much more easily and without as much effort is just heartbreaking like#don’t get me wrong I am super duper happy for them I promise ! it’s just it kinda feels like I’m perpetually going to be left out of things#forever sneislsdjw#this is not to mention how many times I’ve been told ‘I’m gonna do this thing for you’ and it never happening#at this point maybe it’s not overthinking anymore and maybe the truth is I’m just that easy to hate or get annoyed of#if that is the case maybe my best bet is to just leave everyone to it . sorry to have taken up this space#honestly this was all a stupid idea to begin with idk why I thought I could maybe be included idkidkidk#honestly idek why I wrote friend I’m just tired of that word entirely#I really don’t think anyone genuinely likes me enough to want to be friends so I don’t want to consider anyone one fhisakamm#all this app makes me want to do is just throw up every time I log in#if I don’t act like I want it then maybe I’ll be alright#maybe it’s just my sign to stop this whole self shipping thing it’s so horribly stupid when I do it#And if I say nobody cares I’d get ‘what ofc they do !’ But it’s just an echo chamber of my melancholy and nothing else#But in truth I wouldn’t be so sad all the time if I had one place on earth that I could be happy in— just one. Work uni home my “friends” .#All break my heart. And online mauls said broken heart lololol. I wish ppl could be more empathetic. I’m being so fr one of these days this#All will get too much and I’ll end up 🪦#Only a matter of time to be quite frank.
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I might take a little social media break soon, I need to focus on some big events coming up on my life and I feel like it’d just be good for my health in general
I’ll still be on discord a lot tho (I love talking to my friends yayy) so if you wanna talk to me for any reason you can find me there!! Waos!!!!
So uhh bye in around a week I guess!!
#lemon man talks#Lately I’ve been subconsciously being less active here#I haven’t used any other social media in a while tbh#I feel kinda bad like I’m abandoning my mutuals but also I can’t bring myself to be more active#I’m exhausted and busy and anxious and I need to get my shit together and I don’t have the time to be on tumbler dot com anymore#I miss my mutuals tho :((#You guys are awesome#I can assure you I have not stopped being annoying on discord so we can talk there yayy#If you noticed that I haven’t been reblogging or posting at all as much as I used to#Congrats? Why would you notice that?#Uh yeah I’ll probably be gone for a bit#Just lurking#seeing what the mutuals are up to#Might reblog some stuff related to my current main interests#(Like drawtectives. Sighh)#But I’ll be less active than usual#Which may be good? I’ll be less annoying for sure#I hope no one hates me for this#Take care byee
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tonight i’m resting and keeping to myself bc i just need a minute, but tomorrow i think i’ll tinker with my rules and tidy up this blog overall. i’ve been thinking about a few things that have likely contributed to me feeling overwhelmed here, and i need to sit down and drop old drafts/asks, clean up my followers list, and set a lil boundary. hopefully after i do, i can get back to writing and bugging y’all at a normal pace 💜
#or a normal pace for me asdfg#i just kinda? felt sick at the idea of coming online tonight#and that feeling passed but it made me go “oh i need to really do something about this huh”#and it’s not anything serious i think it’s more so understanding the way i am and what makes me anxious or overwhelmed and accepting that#rather than forcing myself to try and work past those feelings bc i want to make things easier for others#or bc i feel bad for letting go of things i don’t have muse for anymore#anyway anyway! i’m gonna finish my silly lil scary movie and hopefully have an early night#tbh the lack of sleep probably didn’t help my feelings today either :’ )#please take care of yourselves and remember to take breaks 💜💜💜 mwah mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Thank you all SO much helping me out, I could cry- I don’t deserve you all
I’m like $30 away from being able to catch up on all my bills which I should be able to make tomorrow at work, then I can get my wifi back on and start working on those commissions
I adore you all. You’re wonderful and I love you. Thank you so much.
#I don’t have words I’m just really overwhelmed and feel cared for and loved#I’m starting to look into a few different jobs#clerking editing and working as a victim advocate#going to get these last few doctors visits and tests done before I really dive into that but I’m feeling more confident and driven#and the new meds are helping SO much#I’m not collapsing or dizzy anymore and my energy levels are up#I went a little overboard manic cleaning at wor yesterday and I’m kinda bedridden now BUT that was a fairly normal response#and I’m already doing a lot better after resting all day and having a nap#work tomorrow and let’s get these bills DONE#Not whump#personal#sand speaks
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(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)
sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.
#tw sui ideation#its honestly just been going through my head for a while#the past two weeks my parents haven’t talked about anything besides my brother#i kinda just feel like i’ve been forgotten in a way#i just feel lonely i guess#and i hate it#it’s just one of those days where i feel lethargic and just numb frankly#and i’m tying to keep posting because it’s not fair that others who don’t give a shit have to read my vents#but i just can’t do this anymore#i’m going through a lot rn#between yesterday and my dog being sick and school starting and my grandma getting surgery and having to move in with my family#it’s all just a lot rn#and sometimes i just think about it and i just hate it#i hate having dark thoughts like this#i’ve been my only therapist because i can’t talk to my parents#i can’t talk to them about this stuff or they’ll just give me the “you can be sad but you can’t pack up and live there” bullshit#I DIDNT FUCKING ASK FOR THIS#that pisses me off so bad#i didn’t fucking ask to have suicidal thoughts?#sometimes i’ll just choke myself with my dog’s leash as a form of punishment because it just makes me feel good#atp i don’t care if i go too far because it’s not worth it anymore#it just doesn’t feel like life’s worth living#there’s nothing to enjoy or look forward to atp#i just need a friend#i’m so tired of being there for people and then having to turn back to myself when i have an issue because im too cowardly to open up#i’m scared#i don’t have it bad like i don’t know why i feel like this#i have a good life#i’m just being a brat#i dunno
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i’m so sleepy. this week has really worn me out ( ◍˘ᜊﬞﬞ ◍ )ᶻᶻᶻ
#and it’s not even over 🥹 i have to work tomorrow and this weekend 🥹#i’m off monday but i have to take in my car AGAIN to get yet another repair done#im just so exhausted all the time…how does anyone live like this#i wish i could just take a break from life for a while#like the emotional exhaustion of. well. everything that’s been going on lately#and the physical exhaustion of my job. idk what to do anymore tbh#i kinda just wanna die. i just wanna take all my meds in one big swallow and lie down for a while#but hey. apparently i am just a rotten bitch who doesn’t deserve to ever be happy after all right#no one likes me when im nice no one likes me when i push back. no one likes me and apparently i don’t deserve to be liked#i guess i really never will have anyone who cared about me so like. it really wouldn’t matter if i die after all would it#i wanna go home :( i miss my cat#snow.txt
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formally apologizing to everyone for getting aborbed into the goofy devastatingn space n time travel show and that kind of fronting my blog along with regular post reblogs.. i feel like i’ve clicked baited you all with the house md reblogs and charming episode reactions and then a couple months later BOOM doctor who gifsets left and right..
#im in a weird place right now. i hate new years day…#sorry house mutuals..after i finished the show my interest for it kinda dissipated#i still do Like it but just kinda don’t Care anymore?? LOL. hilson content has gotten annoying to me too.#enough about my middle aged man yaoi past let’s focus on my yuri and platonic relationships future!#whatever. unfollow me. expect more doctor who and other shows probably too.#also expect more charming original posts because my God i don’t make enough..#but you know what. whatever this is my blog and i can focus on whatever i want to.#uhh happy new years!! fuck my life!!#asclexeposting
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forever stuck in a constant cycle of “am i asexual?”…. or “is it the depression?” … or “am i just unlovable?”
#rn we’re stuck in phase one#i just like don’t care about love or sex rn#like it kinda grosses me out to think abt it#idek anymore
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~ ~ ~
#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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#it’s KINDA funny#sorry about south park winter… danganronpa coming soon (maybe. hopefully.)#OKAY RANT ABOUT THE SP FANDOME SORRY!#i hate bitches who hate the quote on quote new south park fans#like south park isn’t the most popular adult cartoon out there#not everyone started liking it JUST because tim tok. it’s a VERY famous show#i watched it when i was little with my parents and i get people pissy i’m a “new SP fan” when they’re like the same age as me??#god forbid people have fun in a fandome anymore#“it’s so cringe” i actually don’t care there is going to quote on quote cringe fans in ANY fandome you’re in#why do you care so much#“matt n tray would hate you/the kids would make fun of you”#matt n trey love their fans and like the fanart. they made a whole ep because of creek fanart#and the kids make fun of everyone#let people have fun who cares if you think they’re annoying new SP fans stop being so misrble ESPECIALLY if u make fun of SP cosplayers#especially if they have piercings and people get piss they make them look different it’s called having fun#okay rant over sorry gang! i saw this picture and thought it was funny mwah#here’s the tags#south park#kenny mcormick fanart#kenny mccormick#art#my art#fan art#digital art#southpark#south park art#Spotify
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ok i’m listening to yesterday’s vows and vengeance episode and i had to pause immediately because harding swearing by the stone was so unexpected??? the idea that surfacer dwarves still believe in the stone as an actual religion is so interesting because unlike the other religions in thedas that believe they were abandoned by their respective deistic force(s), it is the individual who abandons the stone. the maker left the physical world and the creators were locked away against their will, but the stone is always there until you leave it, by choice or by force.
to have someone born and raised on the surface who still pays some importance to the stone introduces the idea of redemption to the philosophy of the stone. to me, being on the surface and still putting some kind of importance on it implies you left unwillingly right? because if you choose to walk away from it, you don’t care about preserving those ties. i wonder if she’s going to be something of a foil to varric—a child of exiles, born and raised on the surface, but she actually does have a desire to connect to that culture. and maybe that desire to reconnect is related to her weird new powers
#The Ones Who Walk Away From Orzammar. if you will#i was going to say that would be a different thing but actually. not really#and. yknow. there is something to be said about the fact that the casteless work for the carta is essentially to the city’s operation#we. don’t actually have a lot of info about people who choose to leave orzammar. maybe some do leave out of moral qualms with the system#but anyway. i don’t remember if harding says anything in the descent about it#i’m sure she does but i always thought of her as not particularly caring one way or the other#i’m literally not even two minutes in and had to pause and inhale deeply and go. ok maybe it was intentional lmao#and yknow what. the podcast has different writers than the game so maybe this doesn’t mean anything abt what her writing will be in the game#anyway i’m definitely choosing to read too much into this bc the most likely explanation is#they threw it in there as a clunky signifier that she’s a dwarf. even tho it doesn’t rly fit for her personally from what i thought i knew#or maybe it’s just a figure of speech at this point. i don’t know how many generations her family has been on the surface#maybe her parents are from orzammar and she was just kinda raised around it. i was raised catholic and don’t believe anymore but#i still say ‘jesus christ’ a lot lol#oh now i’m also thinking abt whatshisname from awakening#the gavorn (brothers? cousins?) i feel like they also say something about stone sense and that feels adjacent to this#sry i know this is v long and could be more concise but i’m at work and don’t have time to look it over#but i wanted to get it out. if i remember i’ll come back later and make a more coherent post lol#mine#harding
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