#i just hate this i hate this i hate this and i wish my body would let me let out my emotions
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summertimesadnessirl · 2 days ago
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This except like
I do things that seem like attention seeking behavior to avoid attention, actually.
I wear slutty clothes so people will stare at my legs or my tits or my body harness or garter belt ribbons hanging down and not pay attention to me.
Too busy being horny for my clothes to see me.
I say provocative things so people ask about them and are distracted from trying to bother me in the here and now.
Too busy being outraged.
I give people compliments so they do all the talking and go on and on about something that makes them feel cool or happy so they don't bother me.
Too busy with their own ego.
I behave in ways that embody what other people want me to be so they get what they want and leave me alone.
I had to be groomed by 3 years of attention= shitloads of money
To care about wanting attention.
I don't like attention but I really like not being in poverty.
I really like having shitloads of money.
You can solve almost any problem with shitloads of money.
I wish I wanted attention because it's really easy to get attention from like 90% of people. It must be really cool to be addicted to attention.
People have been telling me I do things for attention my whole life.
Actually I do things because I'm a weird little goblin child and don't know how to act.
Also because I hate when other people try to force me or influence me to do things and it makes me wanna die?
So my goal is honestly to make enough money that I can be as bizarre as I want and no one will care and if people aren't nice to me I can tell them I hope they trip and fall and impale their eyeball on a pencil and it hits them in the brain and they die and then leave the room and never talk to them again.
Attention makes me big uncomfortable because when I'm not bribing people to be nice to me with whatever it is they want they mostly are incredibly unpleasant and anytime a new person is like... smiling at me or asking me a lot of questions about myself they are usually deciding if I should be allowed to eat or how severely I should be punished or if I will be allowed to go home or if they want to give me drugs or if they're about to make a brand new rule against something that didn't exist before just so they can ruin my month. Good things happen when you put the focus on making the people around you happy and granting their wishes. Bad things happen when other people notice you exist any time you are not actively doing that.
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morganaawriterr · 2 days ago
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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ You don’t have to say it back;
Pairing; fem!reader, long-distance boyfriend!Ni-ki Synopsis; For a fleeting moment, it’s just you, Ni-ki, and the beach as he confesses his love for you before leaving for Korea. Genre; A bit fluffy and angsty - (this is very short) Warning; None, just Ni-ki being a cutie pie!
A/N: This has been sitting in my Notion app for ages (because I don't like it much)!!! Also, I am travelling so I won't be online much, but I won't leave you guys starving!! Here it is, I hope you guys enjoy it, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you!
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You love the beach; from the sound of the free waves crashing on the warm sand, to the smell of the salty water that reminds you of your childhood, and the thin, translucent clouds transmitting a calm peace of mind.
“This is beautiful…” you say, staring at the sun setting on the horizon. Shades of blue, grey, and yellow paint the sky like the work of the most skilled artist.
Niki smiles, admiring you. Your eyes glow in the sunlight, reflecting the landscape in your gaze. He can still smell your sweet perfume, and all of that drives him crazy.
“You are beautiful,” he flirts, nibbling his lower lip softly, loving the way you become shy at his compliments.
You turn your face towards him, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like the world has stopped. There is no plane waiting for him, no idol life, no unsupportive family, no beach or sun—just you and him.
“I hate this… I hate you…” you say, looking deeply into his pure hazel eyes. Niki reaches out for your hand and intertwines your thin fingers with his slender ones. You are cold, and he is warm. It’s funny how he is always your source of warmth.
“You don’t,” he grins. There’s something in his smile that makes you start tearing up. Maybe it’s the fact that you feel how genuine he is, or maybe it’s his adorable dimples, or his heart-shaped lips, so pink and inviting.
You break eye contact and pull your hand away from his. Your eyes are now focused on the sun, almost gone. It makes you chuckle. Riki is just like the sun—always slipping through your fingers, abandoning you, and leaving you in hopes that he will return once more.
But the nights are more interminable than ever when he’s gone. The moon is your only company on those lonely nights without him.
“I love you,” Niki confesses out of the blue, his heart beating out of his chest from those three significant words. He knows you are terrified of them, but he wants to be genuine with you.
All the air in your lungs seems to fade away like smoke, and you’re suddenly crying. Your heart shatters into little pieces. It hurts so greatly, knowing he can’t be wholly yours.
“Riki…” you call for him, trying to look him in the eyes, but he dodges your gaze.
“You don’t have to say it back,” Niki says softly, a modest smile on his lips. That’s the moment you realize how honest he is being. He loves you. He wants you. He truly does.
You laugh between tears and force yourself into his strong arms, craving his body heat. He closes his eyes and envelops his arms around you, hugging your frame and savoring your gentle scent.
“I love you too…” you confess, face buried in his neck, your cheeks burning in embarrassment.
At that moment, you overhear it. “Niki, it’s time to go,” his manager says, an anxious look on his face. He also wishes it was easier, but there’s nothing he can do.
“I’m going!” Riki replies in a more cheerful voice, utterly drunk in love. You whine when you feel his arms leave you, the warmth disappearing rapidly. You pout, making him giggle.
Riki gets to his feet, wishing time would slow down. You get up too and stand there cutely, staring up at him, waiting for a goodbye kiss. Niki does just what you wanted. His arms wrap around you as your cold lips mold against his. You pull away first, feeling his manager’s gaze burning holes into your head.
Niki smiles at you once again and then smooches your forehead lovingly. With teary eyes, you smile back, hating that this is your reality. When you see Riki for the last time, the sun is already gone. So, you figure it’s time to let go. You wave at him as he climbs inside the van with its thick, opaque windows. His voice, words, smile, and perfume are still fresh in your mind.
As the car drives away, you hug yourself, the raw wind making you shiver. A single tear escapes your eye, and you wipe it away with the back of your hand, a proud smile on your lips despite the sharp pain of goodbye.
From inside the van, as Niki watches you grow smaller and smaller until you disappear, he asks the moon to take care of you.
Taglist: @grandlightcandy @seokseokjinkim @strxwbloody @enhasunghoonishot @contyynishimura @heewanrik @ranwonbin @leanderexists @lovelyyf @youngheejay @crimson-reaper576 @rikifever @mrsjjongstby @laurradoesloveu @babyboomysweetie @mintchocos-things If you wanna be added or removed from the taglist just comment below!
[ Check out my MASTERLIST; ]
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acid-ixx · 2 days ago
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— masterlist !
every time i think about my series (again &. again), and the reader's fear towards the color green (or anything associated with damian, their half brother), i think about just how more painful it would be if you share the same features with him that he shares with bruce that amps up the angst element.
it doesn't have to be any major features, it could be small, but noticeable. something that has you reeling in yourself.
maybe it's the shape of your fingers or your brows, the plump of your cheeks, or maybe how your skin flushes the same way his does. maybe it's the way your eyebrows furrow like him, or the quirk of your lips whenever you smile a shadow of his smirk.
it doesn't matter because the more you look, the more you notice.
and the more you remember his glinting, green eyes standing by the arch of your doorway, menacingly watching over your shifting, paranoid body; ready to strike at you like you're prey, ready to eliminate your undeserving presence in the manor.
and of course, it's not a big deal, but for an overthinker like you, someone who's always trying to overcorrect, forcing yourself to not be associated by your family— cutting off every interest, or object, any damn thing that reminds you of them; sharing similarities with appearances, something so intimate, something that could've been just yours, with your youngest brother no less, your tormentor, just makes you want to rip that part of your body to seams.
it inadvertently makes you wish you were never bruce's child, too.
just so you could never see damian in yourself, just so your heart doesn't hasten every time you look in the mirror and find yourself staring at those features for hours. until the image of yourself twists into him, until you're the exact copy of the assassin, of the demon child, of the boy you have to unfortunately call your brother.
and every time you do so, there's a haze fogging inside your head, there's this sickening urge to hurt yourself, to change your appearance even if it's a part of your that cherishes the image of your mother too— if it means taking away the unwanted stems that remind yourself too much of him.
the truth is, you don't hate him, or rather you can't bring yourself to, out of pure, convoluted fear.
you despise the way he makes it feel like there's spiders crawling in the back of your throat, or how your body automatically locks up at the slight mention of his name.
even if you see him as just that, a young boy raised to be corrupted; his youth doesn't disregard the fact that he is the incarnate of danger, the same boy who threatened to end your life at first meeting. whose words cut sharper than blades, whose sword is perched on his back; an unspoken promise to cut more than the skin of your neck if you dare try to fight back.
that even though he's significantly younger, he still holds too much power, enough to destroy your life for something you couldn't even control— your inability to be like them.
you don't hate him, you can't.
but it's easier to hate yourself for it instead.
because if it's so hard to despise him, then it's better to blame yourself for your shortcomings. if you fear looking at yourself, the shadow of your features distorting into damian, then you deserve to feel it.
if your hands find themselves ripping at your hair (the strands, god, the ends of your hair reminds you of the spikes of his, you want to die), then let it hurt you, let it destroy your being until you're nothing but dim, sunken eyes and blood-soaked clothes. let the hatred fester to the point your body transforms into an alien-like appearance just to forget him.
it doesn't register within you just how much you're subjecting yourself to the same tortures you were forced upon in that putrid manor.
the same way you let the torment living in that cage repeat like a cycle, again and again, never truly moving on from your past; a sick narrative you're never escaping from.
after all, you can never run away from the past. it bites you back, with the same, or even stronger force, until all that controls you is fear.
fear that forces you to look in the mirror, stare at yourself, nitpicking every notable feature in your face, in your body, that reminds you of them. fear that's enough to turn you emotional in all your good days, that ruins a happiness you haven't felt for a decade, even more.
fear will always control.
damian will always have control over you, he'll always have the upper-hand.
sometimes, the innocent, young boy you try to find behind the exterior of hatred turns out to be a hideous monster all throughout.
unfortunately, you see that monster in you, too.
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a/n: we love complicated relationship dynamics!!! i just woke up and was like, "wait, i have an idea." LMAO. idk half of what i wrote, did i eat with this drabble? maybe. ignore my sudden disappearance sometimes, in another life i'm a hermit crab who hides in its shell probably.
— if i wrote damian here to be too "evil," it's because it's written in the perspective of the reader and their trauma. i don't want him to be this one-dimensional character, he's one of my favorites after all, but i need to establish the relationships and writing drabbles like these help a lot in portraying how they see each other. damian sees you in a different light (you make him weak), and you do too— but both see each other in some twisted perspective of loving each other because you're both still siblings at the end of the day (i'm gonna write more about this too).
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etclouie · 2 days ago
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possibly for your celebration could i get 72 and 79 with mattheo please
˚୨୧⋆。 prompt/s; 72) “you’re not actually trying to convince me that was a friendly kiss, are you?” and 79) “i wish you’d give me a chance” — from 100 dialogue prompts
˚୨୧⋆。 warnings; mattheo x best friend!reader, secret pining, matt kisses reader, reader uses mattheo and matty interchangeably, that’s it i think
˚୨୧⋆。 a/n; if this is horribly ooc, mbmb
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— thank you for celebrating 600 with me || submissions are now closed
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the castles corridors were eerily quiet as you walked side by side with your best friend, Mattheo. the castle had its usual charm but tonight it felt different. 
there was an air of tension that neither of you could ignore. 
Mattheo’s usual smirk was absent and was replaced by something softer, more contemplative, though he still held that same dangerous allure.
you felt the weight of his gaze on you as you passed through the hallways, your heart racing slightly faster than it usually did but you ignored it. you had more important things to focus on, like your upcoming exam. 
“so,”
Mattheo broke the silence between you, his voice a mix of amusement and something you could t quite place. 
“are you actually going to study for that potions exam, or should i just plan to carry you through it?”
you rolled your eyes, nudging him with your elbow as you continued walking. 
“i can handle it, thanks. i don’t need a babysitter”
he barked out a laugh before he grinned, flashing you a ‘really?’ look. 
you’d stopped to turn to him, rolling your eyes as you caught the look on his face. crossing your arms over your chest as he spoke. 
“that’s what they all say, but you’ll be begging for my help when you fail”
he teased, which pulled a huff from you before you laughed alongside him. Mattheo always knew how to make you laugh, even on the worst days. 
“more like you’ll be begging for my help when you fail”
you countered, and his lips tugged into a frown momentarily. as much as he hated to admit it, you were right. potions wasn’t exactly his strongest suit. 
as you rounded a corner, the two of you slowed. something in the air had shifted and you noticed the change before he said anything. 
Mattheo’s usual smirk was long gone now, replaced by something serious. his posture stiffened, and his eyes met yours with an intensity that was unfamiliar. 
“Matty?”
you asked, using his nickname but being unable to mask the unease creeping into your voice. 
“there’s something i’ve been wanting to talk to you about”
his voice was low, hesitant even. a stark contrast to his usual cocky confidence which made you frown. 
you knew it had to be something really serious for him to have no cockiness about him. 
“what’s wrong?”
he didn’t answer immediately, instead he stepped closer. his gaze locked onto your lips made your heart skip a beat, and instinctively you took a step back. 
“Mattheo?”
you used his full name this time, in an attempt to get words out of him. but before you could process what was happening, he closed the gap between you. 
his hand reached up to your face, cradling your jaw and absentmindedly running his thumb across your cheek. 
“Mattheo, what—“
his lips pressed against yours in a swift unexpected kiss, effectively cutting you off mid sentence. 
you froze, every muscle in your body locking up. it wasn’t a friendly kiss, not in the slightest. it was something else entirely— a kiss full of intent, and you could feel it. as if every ounce of tension he had been carrying had poured into that single moment. 
when he pulled away, his face stayed inches from yours and his breath was warm against your skin. 
you stared at him wide eyed, trying to process what had just happened. 
“wait, hold on—“
you sputtered, backing up a few steps but he followed again. you kept backing up until your back hit the wall, Mattheo staying a hairs width away. 
“you’re not actually trying to convince me that was a friendly kiss, are you?”
Mattheo’s lips curled into a half smirk, but his eyes weren’t mocking. they were vulnerable..
“no”
he murmured, face staying inches from yours and his eyes searching yours. 
“not friendly. but i didn’t want to just tell you, i needed to show you”
your mind was spinning. the reality of the situation something akin to overwhelming. 
Mattheo Riddle — the same Mattheo who had always been the mysterious and somewhat unpredictable bad boy of Slytherin house — had just kissed you. 
and it wasn’t some quick, meaningless gesture. 
it wasn’t like the various flings and one night stands he’d told you all about, much to your dismay. 
it had been a kiss that made your pulse race and your heart skip. 
“why didn’t you just tell me?”
you managed to ask, your voice shaky as you continued. voice dropping to a barely audible whisper. 
“why now?”
Mattheo sighed, his expression softening even more. 
his left hand braced himself on the wall by your head, while the other cradled your face again. thumb drawing languid strokes across your cheek. 
“i’ve been trying to figure out the right time for ages, but there’s never been one. you’re my best friend. i’ve been hiding this from you and it’s been driving me insane”
he said in one breath, exhaling as the last word slipped before he sighed. 
his eyes even softer than before, his whole demeanour different. he seemed something akin to shy, though he’d never admit to it. 
“i wish you’d give me a chance”
your breath hitched. you looked up at him, struggling to find words to make sense of it all. 
it wasn’t that you didn’t care about him. of course you did, you always had. but the idea of shifting your entire relationship, of risking everything you’d built over the years—it scared you. 
“i don’t know what to say Matty”
you admitted, looking away and staring at the ground trying to sort through your jumbled thoughts. 
his hand holding your face tilted your gaze back up to him, his eyes pleading as they met yours. 
“you don’t have to say anything now. i just.. i need you to know how i feel, i wish you’d give me a chance”
you swallowed hard. 
could you really take that step? could you allow yourself to risk everything for a chance at something that could be so much more?
your eyes stayed locked with his, the same glint as before swimming around in his eyes and it made you realise one thing. you’d never seen him this open or this vulnerable. 
the Mattheo you knew was always guarded, always playing some game. but now, it was just him — bare and raw — and something inside you shifted. 
“i don’t know what’ll happen Mattheo,”
you whispered, voice quieter than you had intended it to be. 
“but i’ll think about it”
Mattheo’s face lit up with a rare, genuine smile— his relief palpable. 
“that’s all i’m asking for. just a chance, that’s all i need”
he said softly, and you believed him. 
for the first time in your life, you didn’t feel the need to run from him. you didn’t need the answers right away, but maybe just maybe, it was time to give him that chance. 
as you both stood there, the weight of the moment sinking in, you could almost hear the unspoken promise between you. 
this was only the beginning. 
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⋆˚࿔ reblogs are highly appreciated 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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There were times - many times - when riding with my best friend doing "nothing special" - going to his parents' fishing cabin or going to the "picture show" for a guys' night out seeing some bang-up action flick, or going to or from tennis practice or just cruising to see what everyone else was up to - times I wished I could have told him who I really was, how I really felt about him (he is/was my first real crush after all), and that he would have either understood or known all along and in either case responded just like this...
Not only did my heart ache for this, but my actual body ached to feel his hand on me in this kind of familiar and knowing (and dare I say, loving?), way... wanting him to invite and encourage me to relax into his presence even more, in the "security(?)" of his already knowing and accepting me for who I was and how I felt, to respond in like fashion, comfortably at ease with sharing and showing him how I felt in return...
I wanted him to know me as the girl I was - and then not as "just one of the girls" or as his tomboy gal-pal, but as someone who had real and true and deep feelings for him, who wanted to get to know him better and become more than just buddies - maybe grow into a lifelong relationship that we'd still be sharing today...
But, as I've said here before, this was the mid-1970's and rural north Georgia - there weren't any "real" words for what I was feeling and what I knew to be true about myself - and if I'd tried to explain who I was, I know for nearly certain I'd've been met with the "typical" hateful and hurtful names used by teenagers (and many others), back in those (and, unfortunately too often, in these) days - if not worse... and the thought of NOT being able to hang with him, of being exiled as it were, of being ridiculed beyond the typical guy-joking around - worried - scared - me more than the unrequited feelings I held - and still, to some extent, hold - for him...
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...and there is more to follow...
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st4rrzynight · 3 days ago
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𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈’𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 — 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐫, 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭– 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐧𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐫
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳˢ ᵖᵒᵛ
𝟏𝟎:𝟓𝟑 𝐏𝐌. i anxiously stared at the time on my phone. it has almost been an hour and paige still hasn't shown up. tonight is my birthday, she promised she'd show up after she washed up from tonights game.
i'm looking around as my friends converse around me in my apartment. my roommates have already questioned me on the absence of my girlfriend. i wish i knew why she wasn't here either.
i enter the passcode to my phone in a hurry as i pull up her contact and type out a message.
Paige 💜🫶
hey, where are you? everyone’s asking about you... are you on your way?
i'm so sorry, babe. i can’t make it.
what?
i know, i know. I feel awful about it, but something came up the team wanted me to come celebrate tonights win with them
its my birthday paige you promised you would be here. going out with the team is suddenly more important than your girlfriends birthday?
it's not just "going out". it's to celebrate tonights win, and it's kind of a big deal. if i don't show up, it could look bad. i don't want to let them down, you have to understand.
no paige, i don’t understand. I’m standing here, surrounded by my friends, and i have to keep making excuses as to why you’re not here. do you know how embarrassing that is? to not have my own girlfriend show up to celebrate my birthday??
i'm sorry, okay? i’ll make it up to you. i’ll take you out somewhere nice tomorrow just the two of us, yeah?
no paige it’s not about “making it up.” it’s about showing up when you say you will. but you NEVER do.
that’s not fair. you know how much pressure i’m under i just want to celebrate the win, look i'll make it up to you tomorrow i promise.
paige i am so tired of this. seriously, you keep making empty promises, you get my hopes up only for you to tell me a half assed excuse that you pulled straight out of your ass last minute.
please don’t do this right now. i’ll call you after i leave.
don’t bother, we're done.
what??
read 10:56
what do you mean were done??
read 10:58
y/n answer me please baby
read 10:59
please ill do anything ill make it up to you i promise please answer my message baby
⚠︎︎ not delivered
ᵖᵃⁱᵍᵉˢ ᵖᵒᵛ
two years. 730 days. i lost her two years ago today, i lost it all. i know it was my fault, i put everything above her and i deeply regret it. now i have to live life in regret watching from the sidelines as she celebrates her birthday once again. this time, with her girlfriend.
her laugh filling the air knowing i used to be the cause of that laughter. admiring her from across the bar, sitting in between my teammates as they make conversation yet i can't bring myself to take my eyes off of her.
i scan ever inch of her body my eyes stopped on her wrist, then her fingers, then her neck. every single piece of jewelry i got her, gone. none of it in sight as if it never existed.
a hand on her thigh from a woman who was a copy of me. blonde, blue eyes, tall, and she plays soccer. but its not me. it will never be me again.
i can't even blame her, thats why i hate it. i hate that i can't hate her no matter how hard i try because in the end i will always love her and it will always be her.
even if i'm not her happy ever after. i distract myself trying to find someone new but it never ends well. i always find similarities between the girls i've gone on dates with and her. thats what attracts me to them, the fact that they slightly even look like her. but they will never compare to her full look, no one will.
so for the rest of time ill find myself watching from the sidelines seeing her take on life with someone who isn't me by her side, someone who looks like me but is not entirely me.
it will always kill me, it's going to eat me alive till i die. knowing that i'm not hers anymore, i won't be looking for her in the student section knowing shes there. instead ill be looking for her in the student section in hopes she decided to show up, but i know she didn't. she's going to be in the student section of the soccer games watching and cheering on her.
i won't be able to buy her flowers anymore, instead i watch as she gets gifted flowers by another woman. except those aren't her favorite. they're the wrong flowers.
i wont be able to buy her the perfume she always wears when it runs out, her signature scent that i always loved. instead i watch as she gets gifted perfume by another woman. she sprays it into the air and by the time it reaches where i sit i know its not the one she loves. its the wrong perfume.
i won't be making late night sephora trips, picking out her favorite makeup products when shes running low. instead i watch as she gets gifted makeup by another woman. its the wrong brand.
because of my mistakes, ones that i regret so deeply, i now live with the gnawing feeling knowing that she now loves a woman who doesn't pay attention to small details and gifts her all the wrong things, on her birthday of all days, but she showed up. i didn't.
clearly i lacked attention to detail as well if i couldn't see how much i truly disappointed and hurt her and didn't even show up. i wish it went down differently.
every shooting star, every coin toss into a fountain, every time the clock hits 11:11, every fallen eyelash, every dandelion, my last two birthdays, my only wish was to have her back.
but i cant.
not anymore.
and it hurts.
i open up my phone clicking on her contact, i type out one last message, even if i know she won't ever get it. i type it out and send it as some type of closure.
𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲.
⚠︎︎ not delivered
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𝐚/𝐧 — 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐎 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫
𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 —
@uwupaige @jadasogay @sweetluna20
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gingerteafairy · 3 days ago
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𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐩 (𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)
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Rumors start flying at the Heffley's chaotic family dinner, and what was once just a joke turned into the realest thing you’ve ever had.
tags: fluff, no smut but it's suggestive, f!reader, christmas party. words: 1.4k
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It was Christmas, and Rodrick Heffley kept banging on his drums like they were the only thing keeping him sane during that chaotic family dinner. Greg was off messing around with Rowley, and Rodrick couldn’t do a thing about it in the name of "holiday spirit." To make things worse, Heather Hills had rejected him two weeks before, and she was now a guest at the dinner. Meanwhile, his mom couldn’t stop dancing to those ridiculous Christmas songs, while his dad stood there, practically dying of embarrassment.
Sneaking through the door, you spotted Rodrick giving his best aggressive solo, admiring how talented—and pissed—he could be, just like the goofy kid he was. You knew him from music class, and you couldn’t help but fall in love with the way he played. You definitely had a thing for drummers—it was obvious with all the school crushes and band posters you had. But Rodrick was different. He wasn’t your average rockstar; he was a cute, emo boy trying to look dark and mysterious, and that made you smile.
"Escaping the party?" you asked, leaning against the doorframe, the clinking of plates filling the air.
Rodrick paused, lifting his hand to silence the drums. "What’d you say?" he asked, glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow, his ears still ringing from the loud music.
"Escaping the party?" You repeated, grinning as you stepped closer and plopped down on the small sofa in the garage.
"Yeah, that’s torture," he muttered, a half-smile tugging at his lips as he slid off his stool to sit next to you. The overwhelming scent of his cologne, too strong for someone his age, hit you like a wave. You tried not to wrinkle your nose.
"I agree. My parents won’t stop saying embarrassing stuff about me, and my little sister’s acting all sweet like she’s not the literal spawn of Satan," you said, rolling your eyes.
"Don’t you just hate that?" He chuckled, crossing his left leg and settling more comfortably on the couch. "Younger siblings…"
"It’s like their job," you laughed, adjusting your oversized sweater to make yourself more comfortable.
"How'd you escape the sweater curse?" you asked, genuinely curious.
Rodrick grinned proudly. "I told my mom that if I wore a sweater, I’d torture the guests with a live band performance and body odor." He leaned back, clearly pleased with himself.
"Ugh, I wish I could pull that off. I’m stuck wearing this ridiculous thing," you sighed, leaning your elbows on your knees and propping your chin in your hands.
To be honest, Rodrick thought you looked kinda cute in that sweater two sizes too big, but there was no way he was gonna admit that out loud. Pfft, a rockstar liking a sweater?
"I think you look cute," he whispered, breaking every rockstar rule just to get a smile out of you.
"Thanks," you replied, feeling your cheeks flush a little.
"Hey, how ‘bout we go to my room and listen to something that’s not this Santa nonsense?" Rodrick suggested, standing up abruptly. "I mean… if you want, of course. Not like it’s mandatory or anything. I don’t wanna force you to do anything…"
"I’m in." You grinned, standing up and stretching. "But, uh, how do we get past all those people?"
Rodrick rolled his eyes dramatically, a grin playing on his lips. "Pfft. Relax. I’ve got the perfect plan."
"And what’s this brilliant plan, Heffley?" You crossed your arms and tilted your head, raising an eyebrow.
"Simple. We run." He grabbed your hand and tugged you along, sprinting from the garage, through the living room, and up the main staircase, weaving through all the older relatives and kids in the room.
"Rodrick!" Susan shouted from across the room, causing you both to freeze mid-step, caught like deer in headlights.
"Great plan, huh?" you muttered, narrowing your eyes at him, turning to see Mrs. Heffley glaring at you both from the bottom of the stairs.
"What do you think you're…" She stopped mid-sentence, her gaze dropping to your joined hands, and a sly smile spread across her face.
"Oh, no. Mom, it’s not what you think," Rodrick stammered, quickly letting go of your hand to take a step down.
"Uh-huh." She held up a hand to stop him, her eyes flicking back and forth between you two, pausing to focus on how red your face had become. "I know exactly what my little darlings are up to. Why didn’t you tell me you brought your girlfriend for Christmas, Rodrick? This makes me so happy."
"Girlfriend?" You both said at the same time, exchanging a look.
"Everyone, come here! Greg, Manny, sweetie, I’ve got great news!" Susan called, skipping happily toward the living room.
"Let’s go," Rodrick said, practically dragging you down the hallway, slamming the door shut behind you both. He wedged a chair under the doorknob to make sure no one would burst in.
"Wow, I almost died back there," you laughed, placing a hand over your chest and walking backward until you collapsed onto his bed, your feet swinging off the side.
Rodrick ruffled his hair in a slightly awkward manner before lying down next to you, his long legs hanging off the side of the bed. "Damn, sorry about that... my mom..."
"It’s fine," you reassured him, glancing up at the ceiling. "She and my mom are probably still talking about it."
"Yeah. You being my girlfriend," he teased, rolling his eyes.
"Girlfriend. Can you imagine? What a joke," you laughed, staring at him, your gaze lingering on his dark eyeliner. His eyes were so beautiful, so expressive.
"It’s a joke. Girlfriend…" he repeated quietly, his gaze softening as he took in your face. You were so beautiful, so real, so...
Before he knew it, his lips were on yours in a desperate kiss, his hand finding its way to your waist, which you immediately responded to, your fingers tangled in his hair.
It felt perfectly right. His lips were soft, and you tasted just right. The way your bodies fit together, the way your tongues danced together, and how his hands knew exactly where to touch you. It was awkward, sure, but that was what made Rodrick special—everything he did was so real.
The kiss broke, and you both stared at each other, neither of you needing to say a word to know that you should have done this much sooner. But then, your laughter broke the silence, a burst of awkward giggles that filled the room.
"I’m such an idiot," Rodrick laughed, his body shaking with the movement, and you couldn’t help but laugh along. It was like being wrapped in a warm blanket by the fire.
"You are. What even was that?" you said, still laughing, the sound echoing between you two.
"I don’t know. But I liked it," he admitted, stopping his laughter for a second to look into your eyes, his expression soft.
"I liked it too," you smiled, leaning in for another hug, the warmth of his embrace pulling you closer. "But I think we just made a rumor come true."
"Damn, it’s true," he muttered, biting his lip to stifle the next burst of laughter, which escaped when you smiled again. "How about we keep this rumor going for a bit, until we’re actually boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"Rodrick Heffley wants to be my boyfriend?" You teased, and he couldn’t resist pinching your cheeks.
"Maybe," he replied, his voice a little unsure, but hoping for the best in return.
"I do too. Maybe. Want to be your girlfriend," you said, giving him a sly smile.
"Cool."
"But I think we should leave the room before we start another kind of rumor," you giggled, gesturing toward the door. "You know... that kind."
"I wouldn’t mind if the rumor was true," he teased, his gaze sweeping over you from head to toe before focusing on your mouth, and then your eyes.
"I wouldn’t mind either," you whispered, your eyes falling on his lips. And that was enough for Rodrick to do what he did best—go in for another kiss. That night, you both made sure to live up to all the Christmas rumors that might swirl around the table, especially when you came back wearing that worn-out sweater, messy hairstyle and Rodrick had eyeliner that clearly belonged to someone with a lot more experience. Yeah, for the first time, you were grateful rumors existed.
@bernardsbendystraws divider
@ikkyfics this one is for you honey
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sturnioloszn · 2 days ago
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BY THE FIREPLACE - M.S
summary; you've always wanted to make love by the fireplace, and matt is more than happy to fulfil your wish.
warnings; smut, unprotected sex (wrap the willy), dry humping if u squint, praising, that's it..?
a/n; idk if i hate this lmaoo I think i do, but oh well. also, my suggestions r still open, so pls feel free to leave some!
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The small crackles and pops of the burning wood was the only noise that could be heard, and other than that, silence filled the warm atmosphere.
Looking towards the large, condensed windows, the view of a snowy forest stared back at me, making me appreciate the warmth the fire was providing. Sitting by a fireplace with nothing but my thoughts and raw emotions is my idea of a perfect Christmas Eve.
I pulled my knees closer to my chest, continuing to admire the way the flames danced but was broken from my trance when I heard the bed behind me shift. The old, wooden floorboards creaked with each of his heavy footsteps. Eventually, he slumped his body on the ground next to me.
"Why are you still up?" Matt mumbled from next to me, rubbing his eyes and resting his head on my shoulder. I bring my hand up to his dishevelled hair and slowly rake my hand through it, letting his head sink further into my shoulder.
"I'm too happy to go sleep," I laugh under my breath, even though it's true. I can't believe I'm spending Christmas with my boyfriend and his family; when MaryLou invited me over for the holidays, I never imagined I'd be in a cosy winter cabin on Christmas Eve.
I glance down to Matt, who is peering down into his lap.
"You okay?" I question, thinking he's probably still tired. He lifts his head from my shoulder and looks at me with a sly grin, causing me to smile wider.
"What?" I ask, confused on what we're smiling about. He reaches for my hand closest to him and pulls it to his clothed dick letting his bulge grow under my touch. I suck in a quick breath, trying not to become flustered by his simple actions but failing miserably.
He keeps his eyes locked on my face, ensuring that I want the same. I grab hold of his hand and pull it towards me, slipping it beneath my plaid pyjama bottoms, letting him feel my damp thong.
Nothing is said, but the mutual need for each other that lingers in the air speaks more than words could.
We inch closer until our lips finally meet.
He removes his hand from my pyjama bottoms and brings it to cup the side of my face. Our lips move in sync as the heat and tension between us grows.
Without breaking our contact, I move my legs so that I'm comfortably straddling his lap, and his hands fly to my waist the moment I start softly grinding on his hardened cock.
I feel the universe slipping away as I lose myself in him. It was just me and him; together.
I pull away from his lips, a string of saliva connecting us still. I'm completely consumed by him, and I'm too far gone to stop now.
"You know... I've always wanted to make love by the fireplace," I whisper, moving closer to his ear so that he'd be the only one to hear my dirty secret. I then softly kiss at his sweet spot just below his ear.
He groans but making sure to still steadily rock my hips on his cock. By now, I'm sure I've left a wet patch on his matching pyjama bottoms, but my attention is completely absorbed by the feeling of my clit rubbing on his length.
Out of nowhere, he tightens his grip on me and flips me over so that my back is flush against the wooden floors. He hovers above me, his silver chain dangling from his neck. I pull on his chain, bringing his lips to mine again.
The kiss becomes more heated as I feel him shift to pull his pants and boxers down just enough so that his cock springs free. I briefly pull away to slide my own bottoms and panties down my legs.
He stares at my slick folds in awe, knowing that he was the only one who could ever get me in this state.
He moves his arm so that it's next to my head, his hand cradling my face. While his other hand reached down between us to grab hold of his stiff member, pumping it a few times, letting drops of pre-cum gather at his tip.
He then brings it to my cunt, rubbing it between my wet folds painfully slow.
"Matt..." I warned. I needed him so bad and had no patience left for any of this, I just needed to feel him inside me.
"Shittt, you're soaking," he mutters to himself, finally bringing his tip to my entrance. Rutting his hips forward, I feel him finally stretching my warmth out.
Matt keeps pushing himself deeper until he's balls deep, covering his length completely in my wetness. His steadily pulls out and slowly pushes back in, filling me perfectly.
"Fuck. You're s-so perfect," He moans, dropping his head to my chest.
Something I adored about Matt was the way he could always tell whether I wanted my brains fucked out or if I needed him deep and slow. He didn't just care about himself and his own pleasure, and it's always evident.
He continued to slowly thrust his hips into me, making sure I felt every single inch. The heat in my stomach intensified, highlighting that my orgasm was building up.
"Matt. Matt, I'm gonna come," I whine, tapping his bicep. He reaches down between us and rapidly swipes his thumb over my clit causing me to moan even louder.
"Shhh, can't wake the others up, sweetheart," Matt hushes, moving his hand to cover my mouth to prevent more noises from spilling out. His hips snapped quicker, indicating he was also chasing his orgasm.
Low grunts fell from his lips and muffled moans from mine. My back arched from the floor, and my head fell further back, catching a glimpe of the clock hung on the wall above us.
Right before my euphoria could crash over me, through my watery eyes, I watched the clock strike midnight, and I crumbled. I harshly grabbed onto Matt's wrist, pressing his hand into my mouth harder so that hopefully nobody would hear the immense amount of pleasure I was currently receiving.
Matt quickly pulled out from my dripping pussy and jerked his now slick cock until thick, white cum shot from his red tip, landing on my bare thigh. He moaned loud enough for only me to hear, letting his spent cock rest on my thigh after he milked himself of all his fluid.
Our bodies relax against each other as we enjoy the haze that our highs brought. His head was still buried in my neck, and his heavy pants dressed my skin.
"Merry Christmas, Matt," I giggle, barely having any breath left in my lungs to speak. He lifts his head from my body and looks up at the clock I was previously looking at and smiling when he noticed it was just past midnight.
"Merry Christmas, baby," He smiles, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.
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a/n; this might be the last fic for the year, but if i'm feeling motivated enough, I'll try to get one more out, lmao, but don't count on it pls 😭
Taglist; @idrk2292 @clairesxo @moonlightsturns @045696 @forgottxen @mattsturniolover @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @chrissturniolodailysluts @sturnobsessedwh0re
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thekaratcake-blog · 1 day ago
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Hey btw by trying to restrict abortion what you're actually doing is saything that the fetus has rights to the mothers body against her will
And to pretend like unprotected sex is the only way we get there is dumb as shit, do better
But most importantly, first you don't give a shit about actual life or suffering if you wish it on others for disagreeing with you
Second if we're talking about a fetus before a certain point, the best you're gonna get on feeling emotions is "said hormones can reach it" and regardless of all of this its still not worth the life of the mother and still shouldn't have rights that no other human has
No other human has rights to others body and organs against their will, why should a fetus?
Also you did you seriously just say an abortion is never nessecary to save a life? I'm sorry did you actually? Also you realize plan b pills are being considered abortion in the us?
Also did you just quote the famously unreliable ai overview? The same oen that said people should eat one small rock a day?
And finally, you saying someone is "letting the mask slip" was talking about someone who was talking about the reality of when something is an isn't a child
Then of course, you go and tell them to rot in hell and suffer forever and that their life is terrible
Oh and finally, by pro-lifer, you of course, mean anti-choice
After all, this isn't about life, it's why Texas tried to enforce the death penality for women who'd had abortions, it's why the cry now isn't "yay we saved babies" it's "your body, my choice"
What this is about is deciding whether a woman should get to decide who's allowed to forcefully use and ALWAYS damage her body, I want to make this clear
Pregnancy is ALWAYS at least somewhat damaging to the body of the mother, and I do mean always, some significantly more than others, some causing death that could only be avoided with the termination of the child, a child is only capable of any form of thought at 24 weeks according to all of our best science and doesn't qualify as human in the same way the mother does before that
You are misinformed, you are hateful, and you are awful, abortion should be legal, you don't get to decide what a woman does with her body
Oh and, gotta love you casually glossing over the existence of rape, or the idea that maybe someone won't know contraceptive failed immediately, or maybe someone actively wanted to have a child but it's now going to come with serious medical complications, which is according to WHO, actually 15% of cases lead to potentionally life threatening complications not the 2% you quoted, but no yeah
Let's force the mother to have a child, that if she's trying to get an abortion she probably can't care for, that might kill her, which might in turn kill the child, or leave one or both of them with seriuos health complications
Now of course lets let that mother struggle, after all, the most common reason for abortions is that they are unable to have a child as it would seriously derail their life and they likely can't care for it, but you're right, better than an unthinking fetus simply not getting past a certain stage, after all, they don't actually kill it, they just take away access from the mtoher's nutrients to a thing that before 24 weeks the generally agreed upon legal limit of abortion isn't capable of thought, but no better than that lets birth it into a world who isn't ready for it, to a mother who isn't ready for it, or who was raped, or who is a child, or who would die, or who would be seriously sick, or when the child would come out with serious damage or deformities that might cause it to die an agonizing death on the table
But no, let's instead wish suffering upon others who disagree with you because that's what being "pro life" is about, it's about telling those on the other side or who disagree with you that they are evil and deserve to die, it's about shooting up planned parenthoods or leaving pregnant women to die of sepsis on the operating bed as is happening a lot now in america
Nothing says "pro life" like "I hope your life is one of fucking //suffering//."
Also btw, I also survived rape and had I gotten pregnant I would've been ten years old, do you think I should've kept that child?
Luckily I am incapable of getting pregnant but some people aren't, do you think they should've kept that child?
Oh and two your final lil comment, I did live that sort of life, and guess what? I found joy, I found joy and a loving partner, I've dedicated my time to learning and caring and fighting for rights, and I've never told a stranger on the internet that I hope they suffer forever, because that's not a thing a good person who's donig mentally well and has genuinely found joy would do, that's a thing a deranged asshole would do
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read it and weep, idiots
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lustlovehart · 2 days ago
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I LOVE TWST monster au. It so cool and interesting!!! I'm INLOVE
I don't know if your taking requests or not but if you are I NEED to know more about Vil. Like have he every try to seduce you?? Like make you kiss him or worse 😳.
Anyway have a goodnight or goodday
Warnings: NSFW, some canon to the au, some past drafts, GN! Bodied Reader, Possession/Obsession
Ahaha… Funny you say this, in the monster list, Vil’s entire snippet was centered around reader and him being freaks before I realized I should tone it down 💀
First, Non-Canon/Draft stuff! The dynamic between reader and Vil was basically just
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( They were fighting and then they somehow ended up in bed while they screamed hate at each other. When they were done they realized they lowkey liked it. )
Essentially, Vil is the only one in the monster cast who has ever been intimate with reader. In my mind, MH!Reader still understood it was wrong, so you never go all the way with him. You think this arrangement is completely reasonable, considering of firm Vil is on not letting you kill him. You’re entirely convinced he hates you, so letting him feed off you to feel the self indulgent pleasure of his tongue, is a fine arrangement.
Unbeknownst to you, every time he finds himself in the bed with you, he can only clench his nails. He’s been starving this whole time… Why? Because, contrary to you thinking he’s sapping your energy away, he hasn’t consumed a single piece of your vitality. Neither, has he seen anyone else to quench that desire.
It’s pathetic, he’s losing the soft feeling of his pure skin, simply cause he can’t bear the idea of slowly killing you. But, he doesn’t wanna do this with anyone else now. The only one he wishes to taste is you.
… Truly, what have you done to this all famed incubus?
Fun fact! The Incubus Vil fic I have written is actually before I changed this part of his lore, sooo, there might be a small chunk in there where it’s implied you and Vil had a freak off ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎
And now onto Canon! This one will be a little vague to avoid heavy spoilers, but, you’re basically right! Vil does attempt to seduce reader, and it works, but only slightly.
Unlike MH!Reader previously, in the current au, they have a bit more self control, so you notice his seduction, and the sweet smell that wafts the air, but through simple will power, you push through the temptation.
There are several times where you wonder if you should just go through with it, but then you remember the hoard of monsters who act as your second shadow, the two monster hunters who will no doubt shoot Vil at every possible chance, and the angel Vil has a strong hatred for. Yeah, probably not the best choice.
Honestly, it ticks off Vil, but also is what makes him continue pursuing you. It would be easier to sleep with other people if you stopped looking at him with those eyes.
Yet, you don’t, so it’ll never happen.
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maniwannadiezz · 2 days ago
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Thank you. You make me feel sane for hating on vivs art😭 (she did influence my art in middle school, but now I see all the issues with it)
no problem! I think her art had a lot of bad influence on newer artists simply because at first glance it’s appealing and people like you (and me) thought why can’t we just copy it and go from there? Welllll problem is that just copying an artist will lead to you consuming and producing the mistakes they make or not fully grasp why they exaggerated something the way they did. Unfortunately those anime hating art teachers held some truth in their words, just copying right off of another artist without fully understanding the rules of art will lead to getting stuck.
I’ve gotten “stuck” before, my art deformed contorted to the style and gave me a mess where the heads were too big and the proportions too wonky when I could have spent my time understanding anatomy and proper colouring techniques. Of course there’s nothing wrong with just wanting pretty looking art and nothing more but if you want to expand and not hit a ceiling it’s better to learn the rules before you break them. You’ll probably learn things you never knew you never knew! Find things about your style you never dreamed you could have drawn before and expand into your OWN person and your OWN artist, instead of being the vivziepop drawalike.
DECONSTRUCTING VIVZIEPOP ARTISTIC ISSUES WE MAY HAVE CONSUMED AS CHILDREN (if her art has improved I haven’t seen but I will give her the benefit of the doubt! So let’s just isolate this to the past for US ex hazbin artists to understand where our problems truly began)
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Anatomy: Vivziepop has a habit of not properly following even the anatomy of her own drawings let alone anatomy rules at all. I had to bend and meld what I thought a limb may look like from its transition from in front to behind a limb (like the legs) since the lines didn’t properly match up. Arms change size, legs have no knees, one thigh thicker than the other and hands that have fingers which melt into the palms.
you could say it’s stylistic, but considering she’s ONLY ever drawing stylistically whether she liked to or not this bad anatomy has become a crutch and down fall. If she wished to draw more realistically I will assume she can’t or can’t anymore…
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Here’s a draw over. You can keep the stylistic effects while keeping your anatomy at least somewhat readable, especially the hands 💀
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Shading: shading plays a huge role in not only give us context to the image like where the light source is coming from but also the shapes of the body. the body is comprised of different shapes (cylinders for arms and legs, circles and ovals for head, different planes for the face) with shading like vivziepop’s we don’t know where the light is coming from but also the shading blends into the drawing as visual noise, or worse makes things look flat and lifeless. Her legs especially are shaded as if they are two pieces of paper sticking out from under her dress.
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Colours: we all know her main appeal in art is her colours, but designing your piece by just how pretty you can make all the colours also is ignoring fundamentals in what makes your art from good to BEST. With too much of one shade your whole piece blends together in the eyes of the viewer. With not enough contrast in the right areas you will have a focal point that bounces around (like us her chest the focal point? It’s the darkest spot on the piece! Or is it all those eyes that clutter up the whole drawing with the random stripes in the back…. Ouch! I can’t tell what’s what!)
conclusion: I leave you and others with this quest, you wanna get better at art? Take a moment to critique even your own favourite artists. You can have inspiration of course but question their decisions before blindly hoping on the hype train. Or you could be consuming their own mistakes and end up STUCK, like I was, like many have become.
Give critiquing these pieces a try, deconstruct them, trace them (don’t post) see where the lines match up- do the limbs look as if they existed behind the limb or do they go to a void and come up the other side a completely different size? You tell me…
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berriblossom · 2 days ago
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-> "We need more Sagau" your wish is my best command. I did a poll a while back to see who would be next, even though it was Venti/ Zhongli. So i chose Venti. It's just for fun. <-
☆WARNINGS: In all my sagau fics, the reader is referred to as a divine entity or "higher" being in Teyvat AKA, the "Great Divine", religious imagery, religious trauma mentions, insecurities, sexual mentions, nudity, venti shape-shifting, reader's body is androgynous with both masc and fem features. Takes place after Mondstat AQ!☆ ALL PORTRAYALS ARE FICTIONAL AND SO IS THIS WORK!
Venti was never considered himself a "non-believer", often more than anything the nation of wind and song was seen a a pinnacle of holy devoutness and spiritual freedoms thanks to Barbatos's teachings and ballads of the mercy and beauty of the Great Divine. Many classic and old tales have been written over centuries of adoration and loyalty that drifted through the generations of Mondstaters.
"The tale of Barbatos and the shining Stella!" A classic childrens tale depicting how the great divine and the god of wind and song drew the sky and the stars along with it as their own beautiful and loving melody to the people of freedom. A tale of dandelions and stardust.
"Storms Eye, oh heavenly sent flower gifted upon the winds." An epic poem written by Barbatos to the divine love he showered upon the great divine over a century before his slumber.
"Lay, Ol forsaken Feather." An old cathedral ballad sang near the New Break of Dawn and on the dusk of a new year of Teyvat.
All of these, and many more, lay a mark of how much adoration he had for you. He just didn't write and sing these for just "care," he did it out of love. Unspoken, unashamed, and definitely undoubtedly out of love.
Venti loved you. He always has and always will. Even if you rest again for another five centuries, destroy a nation, or even bring forth your original names purpose of creating teyvat. To destory it.
But even so, he could never bring himself, like you, to hate you. You loved all humanity too much and too well.
But unlike you, Venti wasn't a being of all knowledge or craft. He wasn't eons old and could create worlds with a simple blink or wish.
And he isn't the only or "new" archon to announce their love for you.
But his love is older, more mature, more careful. So when you arrived to mondstat, under the great tree at windirse centuries ago, he remains there with a smile and his lyre. Playing a new hymn for you.
His hugs and embrace under your hands make his eyes water, and the tears of love he cries for you are unlike any other.
He loves you, oh so much, it consumes him, his nation, his practice, even his deepest thoughts. Morax used to tease that he is a lovesick fool chasing after hopes and dreams but he knows better.
He knows he will never be the sole archon in your light, but he is still the first. He still knows mondstat is your home, where you come to. No amount of mora, silk, tea, power, celebration can stop it.
To Venti, you are his everything, so even in nothing, you are still there.
-> SO LATE EVERYBODY! SO SORRY!!
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
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I have to be on T, I have been on it for years and it’s just annoying, this is kinda venty, but I just hate how it is for me. I was forced into it without my consent, but now as a I figure I’m trans it’s just dysphoric.
People are all positive about bodily hair and I’m here like “I wish all the hair I have on my body ceases to exist”
This is also somewhat caused by the T, but random stuff coming out the…you know. Like mbing, I don’t want any as someone who is repulsed by it, just yeah disgusting.
I was born and started puberty going to have low T levels and quite frankly wished it stayed that way. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go on E, which makes me sad.
Like yeah I’m 19 going on 20, but still.
hey there i just realized i answered your other asks first before i got to this one, i'm sorry about that!
you should not have been forced on testosterone against your will for any reason. even if it were for other health reasons, you still should have been the one to be able to make that choice for yourself.
while it's totally okay for some people to be euphoric about body hair, it's totally okay for you to be dysphoric about it! if that's not how you feel your body should look, it's going to feel like shit no matter how positive someone else is about their own body hair. you shouldn't feel like you should be forced into thinking your body hair is a good thing if you genuinely don't like it. it's okay for someone to be dysphoric about body hair, it doesn't mean people who are euphoric are wrong about how they feel. you're not wrong about how you feel, either
i can understand why that would be disgusting for you. that's just not how you want your body to function. you finding it gross for yourself does NOT mean you think it's gross on other people. it's okay for you to thoroughly dislike what testosterone is doing to your body. if it was okay for me to hate what estrogen did to my body, it's okay for you to hate what T does to yours. i can totally understand why you'd still want to have those low testosterone levels, especially when you were straight up forced to elevate your T levels because someone else thought it was right for you.
i'm so sorry you're going through this. i hope you're able to take this into your own hands some day. i know that transitioning as a trans girl is very dangerous. i know it's not easy. and i know you more than likely can't just stop what youre doing with your hormones and pursue starting E. i really hope that in the future, you can start taking E and have control over what you want your hormone levels to be like. you shouldn't be forced to live in a body you just don't feel at home in.
take care! i know i answered your other 2 asks already, but please feel free to reach out if you need any more help. you're definitely not alone in how you feel and you should be able to be in control of this. it's your body, it should be your choice. stay safe out there
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absolutebl · 15 hours ago
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BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2
Lost on the River
Thai
JudoFluke are back! From Sammon, Fluke is the doctor and Judo a record producer. And not only that - there's a third person on the cover.
Love Carved in the Moonlight aka Salak Rak Nai Saengjan
Thai One31 trailer
Peak is back in BL? Wow.
Love of Silom
Thai WeTV
UpPoom are back in another complex piece. Closeted brokenhearted policeman meets struggling single dad.
Love Upon a Time
Thai trailer
Domundi's long awaited historical was announced for 2023, but after recasting, officially moved to 2025.
Love You Teacher
Thai trailer
I do like Perth & Santa (although I'm not sold on them as a pair). But words cannot describe how much I dislike this premise. SERIOUSLY? No thank you very much. I could, just maybe, hate watch Only Friends 2, but it's gonna be hard for me to even turn this on. Infantilization and people acting like children wigs me tf out. YKINMKBYKIOK of course, but not in my BL GMMTV. Stop it! (This one also got the dreaded pink of will not watch.
Loy Kaew First Love
Thai trailer
Historical pulp. About a farmer's son and his clsoe friend, son of the village headman.
Make a Wish Season 2
Thai
JudoFluke reprising their roles, rumor reported here.
Mandate
Thai
A fierce political battle is the starting point of love between two men of different statuses and backgrounds, not to mention a 17 year age gap.
Me and Thee
Thai trailer
A photographer gets involved with the mafia? OMG is this a Thai dupe for Target the Finder? Only mixed with Cyrano? WILD. I mean to say, this one is wild WILD! Plus Est (my love) back in suits and ear dongles I see. Also GMMTV never gonna let us forget they bagged two of BL's best bods with PP, thanks all for the visuals. Of course this is for me. I'm the shallowest, remember? Plus I love a BL that's just a little bit...... well...... stupid.
Me and Who
Thai WeTV trailer
Lead pair from Monster Next Door, BigPark, in an adaptation of Wickedwish’s novel of the same name. A poor young man dies and is reborn into the body of a billionaire heir. The heir happens to be engaged to a handsome man who come to understand his secret.
Melody of Secrets
trailer
Not wild about ForceBook, do like a mystery, don't like horror or psychological thrillers... not sure on this one. I like BL pushing into new territory, even if it's not my territory, but this is defiantly not made for me, that's for damn sure.
Memoir of Rati
Thai trailer
Sing the praise song with me BLabies! GreatInn in a HISTORICAL with a class divide and everyone's favourite side couple! Be still my heart! I'm beyond pleased. (Also I got my boat in a lotus pond at last.) My only concern is this could end sad, it's in the title after all.
My Magic Prophecy
Thai trailer
Paranormal mystery with a fortune teller and a doctor. I'm in. I hope the script doesn't fail JimmySea again, they are such a great pair. I'm intrigued by this one but it felt the most formless of all the trailers, so I'm thinking we could see some significant tweaks.
My Romance Scammer
Thai trailer
New couple! My boys Ohm and Fluke (no, not that Fluke, the one from My Ride). Honestly, Fluke has popped up as a side in a couple GMMTV shows I was wondering who they'd BL him with.
This could win. Prettiest human on earth paired with the world's most potent single dimple. Will I survive? I honestly don't know, because Ohm historically doesn't have much chemistry with anyone but the original Fluke so... Still I l do love JuniorMark and this as a really unique premise (gay Heartbreakers), so I'm game.
My Stubborn
Thai YouTube trailer
Very high heat office romance involving best friend younger brother intern, boss meets assistant, bit of a love triangle, and GL crumbs and few other tropes.
Not My Bro
Thai trailer
Meen's mother sends Tul, the son of her close friend, who has recently passed the entrance exam to pursue engineering, to live with Meen and assigns Meen to take care of Tul.
Only Friends Dream On
Thai trailer
I will not be watching this. But dude was it nice to see all those pairs busted. That's always a good time for me. Anyway, all you so-n-sos who gave the first one your eyeballs are to blame for this. Watch it n weep. Without me. (Side note: I love it when a title reviews itself, Only Friends: Dream On, indeed. It's like media aptronym.)
Personal Manager
Thai
A secret relationship between a model and his manager.
Pit Babe The Series 2
Thai trailer
Rearrange
Thai trailer
Bandmates romance meets time travel, intreaguing combo.
Reset
Thai iQIYI
Yet another time travel kinda thing this time with Pond & Peterpan (we love this idea). On the night of his greatest success, famous actor Armin dies after being betrayed by his lover. However, death is not the end. Going back in time and meeting mysterious fan TD, the path to superstardom begins again.
Revamp the Undead Story
Thai YouTube trailer
BounPrem vampire vehicle from 2023 officially moved to 2025 Formerly My Broccoli
Secret Relationship
Korea
This 2022 offering is now officially moved to 2025. To be adapted by Cradle Studio (a subsidiary of Kakao). About clever and resourceful Daon who has worked hard to overcome being poor. His cheap ways annoy his coworker, Sunghyeon but after “an incident” with his parents, Daon grows closer to him. But Daon also has feelings for his former tutor. This has the signs of a classic Kdrama all over it: Office setting, love triangle, lead suffering for his self-actualization. I’m optimistic about a longer treatment.
Secret Relationship
Taiwan
Rivals to lovers with unhinged behavior that in the source material ranges from rock-paper-scissors contests to competitive handjobs (yeah, you read that right). Taiwan is perfect for this.
Shine
Thai WeTV
MileApo vehicle that may not be BL. A tale of love and ideals unfolds in an era resistant to diversity set against the backdrop of the political turmoil of 1969-1971.
Sweet Daddy
Thai trailer
Sweet Tooth Good Dentist
Thai YouTube trailer
Finally Mark is leading out a BL! This one based on a Jittirain novel about a weird sunshine student dentist and his sugar-addicted patient, described as a romcom meets romantic therapy. Also, Jimmy is there, primarily to give me second lead syndrome. It looks silly but kinda earnest, I'm intrigued. (Not sure this one will still happen.)
That Summer
Thai trailer
The only GMMTV side pair to level up. Okay so amnesia is my least favorite trope, and I tend to not be wild about secret identity either, but I like both pairs in this one, so I'll watch.
The Hell Guard
Thai
Boy wakes up from a coma and becomes a messenger between grim reapers and the underworld. I love this premise.
The Love Matter
Thai trailer
2 students fall in love with their respective teachers who happen to be dating each other
The Next Prince
Thai trailer
ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE.
The Promise of The Soul
Taiwan
I hate bodyswap.
The Wicked Game
Thai
DaouOffroad doing some Jack & Joker action. Trust is a luxury. Deception is a game.
The Young Gangster
Taiwan WeTV
Adapted from a novel, may not be a BL. Sociologist begins doing research in the underworld, falls in love with a gangster.
Ticket To Heaven
Thai trailer
GMMTV is doing Boy Foretold by Stars concept? Interesting, did not have religious boundary pushing and bildungsroman down on he Thai BL bingo card. This isn't my thing but I think G4 are actually going to be amazing in it and I certainly look forward to them pushing their acting chops. Not to mention the discomfort something like this can cause in general/global viewership. I like it when BL makes people (who aren't me) uncomfortable.
Time Zone
Thai trailer
A cheeky version of high school president only the seme actor seems to be taking his cues off Ohm. Interesting to me because I like this kind of BL
Truemoon
Thai YouTube trailer
A take on my single favorite trope love rivals to lovers.
Your Dear Daddy
Thai trailer
Haunted by his past, Saithan is unwilling now to tie himself to anyone. On holiday in Chiang Mai, he happens to meet Sila, the wealthy owner of Phu Saengdao farm and hotel. The two find themselves strangely drawn to one another and ultimately spend a night together, thinking they wouldn't see each other again.
2025 BL Part 1 is here
(source)
This post is static and not updated. All information is to the best of my ability at the very end of 2024. Not responsible for changes, cancellations etc...
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natasaa13 · 22 hours ago
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"You're trouble" ft. Choso Kamo
Part 2
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"You’re trouble, you know that?” Choso murmured, his voice filled with a mixture of amusement and affection.
Musa laughed softly, her hands still resting on his chest. “You’re not exactly innocent yourself.”
“Fair enough,” he said, his smirk widening.
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Musa stood in front of her mirror, smoothing down the black dress she had chosen for the party. The fabric hugged her figure in all the right places, the thin straps showing off her shoulders and collarbones. She adjusted her long black waves, letting them cascade over one shoulder. Behind her, Shoko lounged on her bed, scrolling through her phone with a cigarette dangling lazily from her fingers.
"You’re sure about this dress?" Musa asked, turning to her friend.
Shoko glanced up and gave an exaggerated wolf whistle. "Girl, you’re gonna make half the guys at the party fall to their knees. That dress? Sexy af. Your brother is gonna hate it."
"Exactly why I need you to distract him," Musa said, crossing her arms.
Shoko raised an eyebrow. "Distract Suguru? Oh, you’re evil."
"Think of it as your chance to finally make a move," Musa said with a teasing smirk. "You’re always talking about how hot he is. Just... spare me the details, okay? He’s my brother, and I really don’t want to know."
Shoko grinned, sitting up and tossing her phone aside. "Deal. But if this works, you owe me."
Musa laughed, shaking her head. "Fine. Just don’t let him hover. I want to enjoy the party without him breathing down my neck."
When they were both dressed and ready, they stepped into the living room where Suguru was lounging on the couch. His eyes flicked up at the sound of their heels clicking against the floor.
His gaze froze on Musa for a split second, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the dress. "You’re wearing that?" he asked, his tone half disapproving, half protective.
"Yes, and no, I’m not changing," Musa replied firmly, grabbing her purse.
Suguru sighed, leaning back on the couch. He wanted to say something else, but he bit his tongue. She wasn’t a little girl anymore, and he knew he needed to back off. "Fine. Just... stay out of trouble."
Shoko winked at him. "Don’t worry, Suguru. I’ve got her covered."
Suguru gave her a look but said nothing as the girls headed out the door.
The moment they reached Gojo’s house, the door flew open as if he had been waiting there the entire time.
"There they are!" Gojo greeted enthusiastically, throwing his arms wide. "Musa, Shoko, welcome to the best night of your lives!"
"Hi, Satoru," Musa said dryly, stepping past him.
"Satoru," Shoko added with a sly smile, "we’re expecting nothing but your finest chaos tonight."
"You’ll get it and more," Gojo promised, leading them inside. The house was already buzzing with energy, music thumping loudly and people scattered in every corner.
The girls headed straight for the kitchen, grabbing drinks before venturing onto the makeshift dance floor. Shoko nudged Musa playfully. "Alright, your turn. Go have fun while I go seduce your brother."
Musa laughed, waving her off. "Good luck. And remember—no details!"
Shoko shot her a wink before disappearing into the crowd, leaving Musa to enjoy the music. She let herself get lost in the rhythm, her worries melting away as she swayed to the beat.
It wasn’t long before her eyes caught Choso standing near the edge of the room. He was tall and broad-shouldered, his dark hair tied back in his signature pigtails. His shirt clung to his chest and arms, the material stretched over his toned body and revealing faint traces of veins along his forearms. He looked effortlessly sexy, and Musa couldn’t stop herself from staring.
He was talking to a blonde girl who was leaning in close, laughing at something he said. Probably flirting, Musa thought with a pang of jealousy. Her chest tightened as she wished, for once, let that be me.
"Whatcha staring at?" Gojo’s voice startled her, his tall frame suddenly appearing behind her.
"Nothing," she replied quickly, trying to play it cool.
Gojo leaned down slightly, grinning. "Sure, sure. Totally nothing. But if you need a wingman..."
"Drop it," Musa said, shoving his arm lightly.
"Alright, alright," Gojo said, laughing. "Come on, let’s grab another drink."
They made their way back to the kitchen, where Gojo poured them each a cup. Musa was mid-sip when Choso walked in. He looked surprised to see her but quickly offered a small smile.
"Hey, Musa," he said, his voice low and smooth.
"Hi, Choso," she replied, feeling her heart skip a beat.
Gojo, ever the meddler, leaned against the counter. "So, what happened to the blonde girl? She seemed pretty into you."
Choso shrugged. "She wouldn’t stop talking about her dog’s Instagram account. It was... a lot."
Gojo burst out laughing. "Fair enough. Anyway, I’m off to the karaoke machine. Try not to scare each other off."
With that, he left, leaving Musa and Choso alone.
"You having fun?" Choso asked, leaning casually against the counter.
"Yeah," Musa said, swirling her drink. "It’s nice to unwind for once. How about you?"
He nodded. "Not bad. Better now that I’m talking to you."
Her cheeks warmed, and she tried to hide her smile. "Smooth."
"Just honest," he said, his dark eyes locking with hers. He leaned in slightly, testing the waters. "You look amazing tonight, by the way."
Before Musa could respond, the door swung open, and Suguru walked in. His gaze immediately landed on them, his expression unreadable but his presence commanding.
"Hey," he said, glancing between them. "What’s going on in here?"
The air grew tense as Choso straightened, his playful demeanor fading under Suguru’s scrutiny. Musa felt her stomach drop, but she forced herself to stay calm.
"Just talking," she said casually, taking a sip of her drink.
Suguru’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn’t press further. "Good. Because Gojo’s about to destroy my eardrums with karaoke, and I need reinforcements."
Choso nodded, stepping aside. "I’ll let you guys handle that."
As Suguru led Musa out of the kitchen, she couldn’t shake the feeling that her brother knew more than he was letting on.
After leaving the kitchen, Suguru kept a hand lightly on Musa’s shoulder as they navigated through the crowd. The energy of the party seemed to blur around her, but Musa’s mind was still lingering on Choso’s smile, the way his deep voice had sent a shiver down her spine.
Suguru’s voice broke her thoughts. "You’ve been quiet."
"I’m fine," she replied quickly, not meeting his eyes.
He frowned but didn’t push, though the protective older brother in him was on high alert. Something had shifted when he walked into that kitchen—he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he didn’t like it.
By the time they reached the living room, Gojo was already belting out a painfully off-key rendition of some pop song, Shoko laughing as she recorded him on her phone.After a while Musa used the distraction to slip away, leaving Suguru to groan and cover his ears.
--------------------------------------------
She stepped out onto the balcony for a breather. The cool air was a welcome relief from the crowded, stuffy house. She leaned against the railing, gazing up at the stars.
"Figured I’d find you out here," a familiar voice said.
She turned to see Choso stepping onto the balcony, his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked even more relaxed now, the cool air ruffling his dark hair.
"Needed some air," she said softly, smiling.
"Same," he replied, stepping closer to the railing beside her. "Gojo’s parties can be... a lot."
"That’s putting it mildly," Musa said, laughing lightly.
For a moment, they stood in comfortable silence, the distant hum of the party fading into the background. Choso glanced at her, his expression soft. "So... you looked like you were having fun earlier. Dancing suits you."
Musa felt her cheeks heat. "I was just letting loose. Nothing special."
"It’s special," he said, his voice low. "You don’t let loose often, do you?"
She hesitated, surprised by how easily he could read her. "Not really. There’s always something to focus on—classes, family, expectations."
Choso nodded. "I get that. You’re always balancing what people need from you, but what about what you want?"
Musa met his gaze, her heart racing. "I don’t know. I guess I don’t think about that much."
"Maybe you should," he said, his tone gentle but firm.
The intensity of his words left her breathless. She couldn’t look away from him, the distance between them suddenly feeling like it was shrinking.
But before anything could happen, the balcony door slid open, and Suguru stepped out. His eyes immediately landed on the two of them, his expression darkening.
"Musa," he said, his voice sharp. "It’s late. We’re leaving."
Musa turned to him, startled. "But—"
"Now," Suguru insisted, cutting her off.
Choso straightened, his calm demeanor shifting as he met Suguru’s glare. "We were just talking," he said, his voice steady.
Suguru narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, well, she’s done talking for the night."
Musa felt her frustration boil over. "Suguru, I’m not a kid. You don’t get to just decide when my night is over."
He looked at her, his jaw tightening. "I’m your brother. I’m looking out for you."
Choso raised a hand, his tone calm. "Suguru, chill. She’s right. We were just talking."
Suguru’s gaze snapped to him, his voice low and dangerous. "I know how guys talk, Choso."
The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Musa stepped between them, her voice firm. "Enough. Both of you."
Suguru glared at Choso for a moment longer before exhaling sharply. "Fine. But we’re leaving. Now."
Musa shot Choso an apologetic look before following her brother back inside. As they made their way through the crowd, her mind was a whirlwind of emotions—embarrassment, frustration, and something else she couldn’t quite place.
----------------------------------
Back at home, Suguru waited until they were alone in the living room to speak.
"You’re mad," Musa said before he could start.
"You’re damn right I’m mad," he replied, crossing his arms. "What were you thinking, sneaking off with Choso like that?"
"We were talking, Suguru. That’s it."
He scoffed. "Do you even know what kind of guy he is? He’s my friend, Musa. I’ve seen the way he flirts, the way he acts around girls."
"Maybe he’s different around me," she shot back, surprising even herself.
Suguru’s eyes widened slightly before narrowing. "What’s that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you don’t know everything about him," she said, her voice steady. "And maybe you don’t know everything about me, either."
The room fell silent, the weight of her words hanging in the air. Suguru sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I’m not trying to control you," he said finally. "I just... I don’t want you to get hurt."
Musa softened slightly, her frustration ebbing. "I know. And I appreciate that, but you’ve got to trust me. I can handle myself."
Suguru hesitated before nodding reluctantly. "Alright. Just... be careful, okay?"
"I will," she promised.
As she headed to her room, her mind drifted back to Choso, the way his voice had wrapped around her like a warm blanket. She couldn’t help but wonder what might’ve happened if Suguru hadn’t interrupted.
After Musa retreated to her room, Suguru sat alone in the living room, the faint hum of the heater the only sound in the quiet apartment. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tightly as if trying to hold his swirling emotions in check.
Seeing Musa and Choso together tonight had sparked something primal in him—a need to protect, to shield her from everything the world could throw at her. But it wasn’t just the fact that she was talking to Choso. It was the way she looked at him.
Suguru had always been close to his sister. They were inseparable as kids, two halves of the same whole. But as they grew older, Musa began carving her own path, becoming her own person. And while Suguru knew this was inevitable, a part of him still struggled with it.
He trusted Choso as a friend, but he also knew Choso. He had seen him flirt, date casually, and brush off girls without a second thought. The idea of his sister being caught up in that—being hurt by someone he considered family—was unbearable.
And yet, there was something else gnawing at him. He couldn’t shake the way Choso had looked at Musa tonight. There was a sincerity in his friend’s eyes that Suguru wasn’t used to seeing, and it unsettled him.
"Maybe he’s different around me," Musa’s words echoed in his mind.
Suguru frowned, his protective instincts clashing with the nagging possibility that she might be right.
---------------------------------------
Musa groaned as her phone buzzed on her nightstand. She reached for it, squinting at the screen. It was a text from Shoko.
My sanity: Morning, sunshine. So… how are you? Spill. Your bro looked like he was about to explode after catching you and Choso on the balcony. 👀
Musa let out a frustrated sigh, tossing her phone onto the bed. She wasn’t ready to deal with Suguru—or anyone else—after last night. The tension in the kitchen, the way Suguru had glared at Choso, it was all too much.
She resolved to stay in bed, hiding from the world for the day. Around noon, her phone buzzed again, it was Suguru
3Minute elder: At Gojo’s for a bit. Don’t burn the place down.
Musa exhaled a sigh of relief. At least she wouldn’t have to face her brother today.
------------------------------------
Suguru sat slouched on Gojo’s couch, a coffee in hand. Choso leaned against the counter in the kitchen while Gojo rummaged through the fridge, chattering about the leftovers from the party.
"Last night was wild, huh?" Gojo said, grinning. "I scored with that chick from my econ class. You know, the one with the—"
"Nobody cares," Suguru interrupted, rolling his eyes.
Gojo ignored him, continuing his ramble about how great the night was, while Suguru’s gaze shifted to Choso.
"So," he said casually, though his tone carried an edge. "What’s your deal?"
Choso raised an eyebrow. "My deal?"
"With my sister," Suguru clarified, his eyes narrowing.
Choso sighed, setting his drink down. "Look, we were just talking. That’s it."
Suguru leaned forward, his voice low. "She’s not like the other girls you flirt with, Choso. I’m serious—don’t think about her like that. We’re friends, and I don’t want things getting messy."
Choso met his gaze steadily. "Suguru, I respect you. And I respect Musa. She’s nice, and I wouldn’t hurt her. I promise."
Though the words were reassuring, Suguru couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling in his gut. He nodded reluctantly, deciding to let it slide for now. Maybe he was just overthinking things.
Gojo, oblivious to the tension, plopped down on the couch. "Man, you two are so serious. Lighten up. Did you see how wasted Yuta got last night? That kid’s never gonna live it down."
The conversation shifted, and the boys spent the afternoon laughing and teasing each other. But Suguru’s mind lingered on Musa and Choso, the nagging feeling that something was brewing between them refusing to go away.
--------------------------------------
The next day at school Musa walked into the hallway, spotting Shoko leaning against her locker. Her friend waved her over, her face lighting up with mischief.
"Hey," Shoko greeted, slinging an arm around Musa’s shoulders. "So, about the party..."
Musa groaned. "Please don’t start."
"Oh, I’m starting," Shoko teased. "Your brother and I were really getting into it, you know—until he saw you and Choso on the balcony."
Musa cringed, covering her ears. "Nope. I don’t need the details. Gross."
Shoko laughed, clearly enjoying her discomfort. "Fine, fine. But speaking of you and Choso..."
Musa sighed. "I don’t know. I think he was flirting with me. And he’s so... hot. But what am I supposed to do? He’s Suguru’s friend. And it’s not like we have any classes together."
Shoko smirked. "Sounds like you’re smitten."
"Shut up," Musa muttered, her cheeks turning pink. "It’s complicated. Every time he’s over, Suguru’s around. It’s not like I can just... make a move."
"Well," Shoko said thoughtfully, "if he’s really into you, he’ll find a way. And if he doesn’t, maybe you should take matters into your own hands."
Musa hesitated, her mind racing with possibilities. Could she really make the first move? Would Choso even be interested, or was she just imagining things?
"Anyway," Shoko added with a wink, "you’re not doing yourself any favors by playing it safe. Life’s too short."
Musa sighed, knowing her friend was right. But as she walked to her next class, she couldn’t help but wonder—what would happen if she dared to take a chance with Choso?
-------------------------------------
She sat hunched over her books in the quiet library, the soft rustle of pages and the faint hum of the air conditioner her only company. She was deep in her studies when a shadow loomed over her table. Startled, she looked up to find Choso standing there, hands in his pockets, his usual calm demeanor slightly tinged with hesitation.
“Hey,” he began, his voice soft so as not to disturb the other students. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. At the party.”
Musa blinked in surprise, setting her pen down. “Oh… it’s fine, really.”
Choso rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze dropping briefly to the floor. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble. Especially with Suguru. I know how he is.”
At that, Musa laughed lightly, a sound that seemed to ease Choso’s nerves. “Suguru’s been like that since… well, since boys started noticing me. It’s kind of his thing. He thinks he’s some kind of bodyguard.”
Choso smirked, his confidence slowly returning. “I noticed.”
“Right?!” Musa leaned back in her chair, grinning. “It’s a miracle I even had my first kiss. Most guys run for the hills once Suguru starts glaring at them. I wouldn’t put it past him to pay one to stop talking to me.”
The thought made Choso chuckle. “Sounds like him.”
They fell into an easy rhythm after that, their conversation shifting to lighter topics. Choso asked her about her interests, and Musa’s face lit up as she shared her dream of becoming a tattoo artist. She even flipped through her sketchbook to show him some of her designs, her enthusiasm infectious.
“You’re really talented,” Choso said earnestly, admiring the intricate linework of a floral piece she’d drawn. “I could see that on someone’s skin.”
Her cheeks warmed at the compliment. “Thanks. I’ve been practicing for years.”
Their conversation drifted from tattoos to study tips, and before long, Choso found himself helping her work through a particularly tricky subject. They were so engrossed that neither of them noticed the faint sound of footsteps in the hallway until it was too late.
Unbeknownst to them, Satoru Gojo had been wandering the halls, his usual mischievous boredom leading him past the library. He paused mid-step when he caught sight of Musa and Choso through the glass doors. The grin that spread across his face was instantaneous, his sunglasses slipping down his nose as he took in the scene.
“Oh, Suguru’s gonna love this,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head as he walked away, his laughter echoing faintly down the corridor.
Back inside the library, Musa and Choso remained blissfully unaware, their focus entirely on each other. But somewhere in the back of her mind, she had the faintest sense of foreboding—like trouble was lurking just around the corner.
As the study session came to a close, Musa looked up from her books, the weight of the afternoon lifting from her shoulders. “Thanks for all the help, Choso,” she said, her smile warm. “I actually understand it a lot better now.”
Choso returned the smile, feeling a sense of accomplishment. “Glad I could help. It was nice to hang out like this. We should do it more often.”
Musa hesitated, her fingers tracing the edge of her notebook. “I don’t want to make things weird with Suguru... You know how he is. I don’t want you two to fall out over me.”
Choso tilted his head slightly, his expression softening. “Suguru’s my friend, but he needs to let go at some point. I understand where you're coming from, though,” he added, his voice quiet.
“Still doesn’t stop him from trying to control everything.”
His gaze dropped to her lips for a brief moment before he cleared his throat, his smile turning a little more uncertain. “yeah Ibknow, but it was nice. I’ll see you around, Musa.”
Her heart fluttered, something unspoken hanging in the air between them. Musa nodded, her throat suddenly dry. “Yeah, see you.”
Choso turned to leave, but something lingered in the way he looked at her, something that made Musa’s chest tighten with a mixture of excitement and unease. As she watched him walk away, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted—something that couldn’t be undone.
On the walk back home, Choso couldn’t stop thinking about her. His mind kept drifting to Musa, her laughter, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her art. Beautiful and talented, he thought, his heart racing in a way he wasn’t used to. He hadn’t expected the pull he felt when he was around her.
Maybe Suguru would forgive him, he thought, if Musa asked him to. She seemed to like him, and the idea of spending more time with her filled him with a quiet kind of hope. But at the same time, he didn’t want to sacrifice his bond with Suguru, the friendship that had been built over years. Yet, something felt different when it came to Musa, he never felt like this with the other girls he took interest in. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but whatever it was, it was enough to keep his mind racing, long after he’d left the library.
------------------------------------
As the night grew darker, Choso’s thoughts remained fixed on her, wondering just how far this would go, and what it all meant.
Musa stepped into the house, the mouthwatering aroma of pizza filling the air. Her stomach growled, and she smiled, relieved to be home after a long study session. She kicked off her shoes and made her way into the living room, where Suguru was lounging on the couch, a relaxed smile on his face as he greeted her.
"How’d the studying go?" he asked, glancing up from his phone.
"Good," Musa replied casually, though her mind briefly flashed to Choso. She pushed the thought away, not daring to mention him. It would only complicate things.
Suguru nodded, his attention shifting back to his phone for a moment before he sat up a bit. "By the way, I’ve been thinking about something. About Shoko actually. She and I, well... we’ve been getting along pretty well lately." He looked at her with an almost playful seriousness. "I want to ask her out. Is that okay with you?"
Musa blinked in surprise, smile creeping up on her face. Shoko really liked Suguru and deserved someone who treated her right, someone who actually appreciated her for more than just her looks. Musa smiled, nodding. "I don’t mind at all. Honestly, I think Shoko deserves someone who'll treat her the way she deserves—not just someone who wants to, you know, sleep with her and move on."
Suguru raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on his face. "I thought you’d say that. But just don’t tell Shoko. I want to be the one to tell her."
Musa paused, thinking. "Of course. If you want to make it special." She smiled, her voice soft. "You know, she loves tea and the beach. And she’s always liked getting flowers—especially those little wildflowers that grow around the city."
Suguru nodded as he listened, his eyes narrowing in focus as he mentally noted her details. "Got it. Thanks."
For a moment, Musa thought about telling him about Choso—how he was different from the other guys, how she felt something unspoken between them—but she stopped herself. She wasn’t sure how Suguru would react, and right now, he was focused on Shoko. Instead, she gave her brother a warm smile and said, "Good luck, Suguru. I’m sure it’ll go great."
Suguru smiled back, his expression softening for a moment before he turned his attention back to his phone. "Thanks, sis. I’ll keep you posted."
Musa made her way to her room, her heart a little heavier with the thought of Choso lingering in the back of her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way he looked at her, the way his presence had made her feel. As she settled on her bed, she pulled out her phone and quickly typed a message to him:
“Hey, thanks again for today. I had fun. :)”
She hesitated for just a second before hitting send, the butterflies in her stomach not quite settling. It was strange, but she couldn’t deny the pull she felt toward him. The thought of Suguru finding out sent a small knot of worry through her chest, but for now, she focused on the moment, waiting for Choso’s reply.
Musa stared at the screen of her phone as the message to Choso sat there, waiting. She bit her lip nervously, wondering if she should add something more, but instead, she simply let it be. Her thumb hovered over the "send" button, and she almost reconsidered—then her phone vibrated in her hand. She quickly glanced at the message from Choso:
“Anytime. I had fun too. You’re really easy to talk to, Musa. Let’s do it again sometime.”
Her heart fluttered again, a warmth spreading across her chest. She smiled, her fingers moving almost automatically to respond:
“I’d like that. Maybe next time, I can show you more my sketches and paintings?”
She hit send before she could second-guess herself, feeling a rush of excitement mixed with nerves. It felt like the first real step in something she wasn’t entirely sure of but also couldn’t ignore.
As she waited for his reply, her mind drifted back to Suguru and Shoko. She could tell Suguru had been thinking about Shoko a lot lately. It made sense—he was always looking out for people in his own way, even if he could be overprotective at times. She hoped everything would go well for him, for both of them. But there was still a piece of her mind that couldn’t quite shake the thought of Choso.
Choso’s message came a few minutes later:
“I’d like that a lot. I’ve been wanting to get a tattoo for a while... maybe you could help me design one?”
Musa’s fingers hovered over the screen, her heart pounding at the thought of designing something for him. For Choso. She could already picture it—something simple yet meaningful, something that represented him. She quickly typed back:
“I’d love to! I’ll think of some ideas. I can’t wait to help you with it.”
As she set her phone down for a moment, a small grin tugged at her lips. She felt a surge of anticipation for the next time they could hang out. But the closer she got to him, the more her mind wandered to what this could mean. Choso was different—she could sense it. And something inside her stirred at the thought of what might happen between them.
Musa sat on her bed, her phone still clutched in her hands as she replayed Choso's messages in her mind. Her heart raced, her thoughts a swirl of excitement and nervous energy. She couldn’t help it—she was grinning from ear to ear, practically glowing with the thoughts of their next meeting. She’d never been so caught up in something before, and it felt both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.
As she leaned back, still grinning like an idiot, she heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching her door. Before she could even compose herself, it creaked open just enough for Suguru to poke his head in.
Musa’s face immediately flushed, her grin widening as she scrambled to hide her phone, but it was too late—Suguru had already seen the way her cheeks were practically glowing.
"Alright, what’s going on?" Suguru asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped into the room. His voice was playful, but there was a glint of curiosity in his eyes. "What’s got you looking like you just won the lottery?"
Musa could barely contain her smile, feeling the heat of her blush spread down her neck. “N-Nothing, I’m just... tired, you know?” she stammered, trying to act casual, but her wide grin betrayed her. “and happy, I guess.”
Suguru tilted his head, clearly unconvinced. He walked further into the room, his gaze narrowing in on her. “You’re way too happy for someone who’s just ‘tired.’ What’s really going on, huh?”
Musa quickly tried to redirect the conversation, but she couldn’t help the way her heart skipped at the thought of Choso. "It’s nothing, really. Just... stuff," she said, her voice a little too high-pitched.
Suguru smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “Stuff, huh? I don’t buy it. You’ve got that look on your face. Like you’re about to burst with secrets.”
Musa let out an awkward laugh, glancing away from her brother’s sharp gaze. “It’s just... a friend of mine. We were chatting earlier, that’s all.”
“Hmm…” Suguru hummed, his smirk growing. “A ‘friend,’ huh? Is that what you’re calling him now?”
Musa’s heart raced as she glanced back at him, her face a deep shade of red. She tried to suppress the grin, but it was useless. “Suguru, stop! You’re being weird.”
Suguru chuckled at her reaction, clearly enjoying her flustered state. “Well, if you’re happy, I guess I won’t press it. Just know, I’m keeping an eye on you, brat.”
Musa groaned, feeling like she was about to melt into the bed. “Seriously, can you just go away? I’m tired and trying to relax.”
Suguru gave her one last look, his playful grin never fading. “Alright, alright. But if I find out who’s making my sister so happy, I’m gonna have words with him.”
“Goodnight, Suguru!” Musa called out, burying her face in her pillow, still grinning uncontrollably.
As Suguru walked out and closed the door behind him, Musa finally let herself laugh, her heart still fluttering with excitement. What had just happened? She barely even knew how to process it.
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madridfangirl · 3 days ago
Text
Star Crossed Lovers - Ch 18 blurb
Ananya woke up the next morning, with Jude holding her close. Still on their sides, facing each other, his arm on her waist and one of his legs resting in between hers. Only difference being he was on the end of his pillow now, not hers.
She sighed & looked at his peaceful resting face, a picture of perfection. His features soft yet sharp. Manly yet boyish. The dichotomy never failed to amaze her. God must truly be proud of this particular creation of his.
He was here. He was really here. Not a figment of her imagination that she had conjured up in her despair yesterday.
Slowly, she traced his cheek with the back of her index finger. Rest of him was just hard muscle, but his face was soft. The skin feeling warm & squishy under her touch. He stirred a little, but his breathing evened again, and she resumed her exploration.
The trim seemed fresh, suiting him perfectly, but it was a tad too fine on the sides. She made a mental note of telling him that.
Her finger slid to his firm, muscly neck, lingering there. Something about his neck always did things to her. His pronounced Adam’s Apple always catching her attention. 
She could do this all day, just admire his beauty & soak in his presence. Especially after yesterday, when she had nearly lost it all. Again. 
‘Ummm colddd.’
Her hands were somehow always colder than the rest of her body, even under a blanket. Jude often called it a mystery.
Keeping his eyes still firmly shut, he reached for her palm blindly and then put her hand inside his sweatshirt, on his chest, warming it with his body heat. The gesture turning her into mush. She was about to hug him dearly but Jude being Jude said something wildly unexpected before that.
‘So you touch me often while I sleep?’
She stilled, gaping at him. He peeped one eye open, while rubbing sleep out of the other one. Even half-asleep he was notorious.
‘W-what?’
He scooted closer on the pillow, noses touching, as his lips curved up into a half-smirk.
‘Where all do you touch me?’
‘JUDE.’
‘Can I do it to you too?’
‘Stop right n..’
‘Imagine waking up with my head between your legs, huh? Or my hand? Bet you’d like it.’
‘YOU LITTLE ASS.’
‘Nothing about me is little, darling. You of all people should know it. And definitely not my ass, you love it.’
‘I hate it.’
‘Lies on Christmas? What would Santa say?’
‘Santa would understand, since I have to deal with a demon like you.’
‘Please, you adore me.’
‘Let me go.’
She struggled to get out of his hold but his grip was tight and his booming laugh quickly eroded the fight in her (plus she never actually wanted to get out of his arms, not really), making her giggle too at the silliness of it. The sound was music to his ears. 
Jude buried his head in her hair.
‘Merry Christmas Eve, darling.’
His accent was somehow thicker in such moments, each word ringing distinctly in her head.
‘To you too, Jude!’
........................................................
Wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas with this :)
Trying to get the full chapter out tmrw, lets see!
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