#first crush

[wisecura]

Sheets

megumi fushiguro x fem-reader

p.1  ( ⸝⸝꩜ ᯅ ꩜⸝⸝;) p.2

AN: this is still being edited and I'm not entirely sure if it'll be everyone's cup of tea. it'll be a slow burn, and a long fic but I have an idea laid out! each chapter will be around 3k just to keep things spaced and easy. Thank you for reading!

warnings: i'm putting these here for future chapters too, and ill sprinkle some in as I go. I want to make it clear, there is no underage sex, but later on there will be some more raunchy shit. this is somewhat non-canon compliant-make it up as I go

-ok for the real warnings: yandere, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, mommy kinks, mommy issues, arranged marriages, forced marriages, angst, eventual smut, clan politics, age gap (5 years from meg, and a little over 10 with toji), toji aint the best dad, mentions of child abuse, slowww build. I'm already 20,000 words into this shit so if your ready lets ride.

Short summary: Your arranged marriage to Toji Fushiguro had been sudden and unexpected, but now you found yourself living under his roof alongside his moody stepson. Your only directive from your clan head before moving in was clear: keep a close eye on Toji, the notorious Sorcerer Killer, and his son, a potential sorcerer prodigy.

Lets Begin

Your arranged marriage with Toji Fushiguro had been quick and unexpected.

The black sheep of the Zenin clan wasn’t exactly known for his well-rounded reputation, teetering on the edge of severing all ties to his family at any given moment.

He hadn’t been in contact with them for years, and financial support on their end was nonexistent. He was constantly broke, especially after Megumi was born. He assumed it was retaliation for marrying outside the clan—without their approval. But when his late wife passed, he had already taken on her surname, somewhat severing himself from the dingey clan he had once called "family."

After her death, he picked up side gigs, earning just enough to provide for the two of them. Megumi was older now, around thirteen, which made it easier to leave him alone for longer periods. Toji often took days-long "business" trips.

He’ll admit he wasn’t a great father, but he had kept his promise of keeping Megumi away from the Zenin clan and that sorcerer bullshit.

That was until he received an official notification from the Zenin clan head.

He hadn’t heard from the bastard in years, only to be met with a request—a demand—for his compliance in an arranged marriage. Initially, he planned to refuse. He wasn’t interested in an arranged marriage, wanted nothing to do with the sorcerer world, and even less to do with the Zenin clan. Hell, the only reason he bothered showing up at the clan house that day was to set that fucker straight.

Then he saw you—a pretty little thing. You couldn’t have been more than ten years younger than him, likely just turning seventeen, maybe eighteen. He couldn’t say for sure. But you were just too young for this shit—he knew that much.

They’d already brought you along for the proposal, as if they knew it would change his mind when he saw you. And, fuck, if they weren’t right.

You were beautiful. Polished and respectable. Speaking in low tones like the proper little housewife he was sure they’d trained you to be. He could see the endgame here—the reasoning behind pushing this arrangement on him. It wasn’t subtle.

The higher-ups likely wanted a presence in his home—someone to keep tabs on him and Megumi, no doubt. They hadn’t explicitly stated as much, but Toji had caught whispers through the grapevine about their interest in his son’s cursed technique. And with his own tendency to remain elusive, (and with all the whispers of him being titled a Sorcerer Killer) it wasn’t surprising that they’d want to keep a closer watch on him, too.

The thought of them using someone barely older than Megumi to achieve their goals left a bitter taste in his mouth. The arrangement reeked of manipulation—a calculated ploy to plant a spy in his home, someone to funnel information back to your clan, his clan, and the higher-ups.

Toji didn’t give a rats ass about his reputation, but it was clear they were fishing for confirmation. Likely hoping to uncover all of the unconfirmed truths. No matter how much he tried to brush it off, the whole setup just didn’t sit right with him.

But when he caught the way your eyes stayed steady, unwavering. You looked nearly indifferent to the situation, but he could tell this wasn’t what you wanted. It couldn’t be. You were really just a child. And yet, that dead expression of yours sealed the deal.

He accepted.

Another mouth to feed, another brat to deal with, no doubt. But maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to help keep Megumi in line while he was out working. Better that than leaving you to the wolves. He understood the clan system all too well—how they saw their women, how they treated them.

He’d seen how young brides were shuffled like pawns, in a game of chess. Paired with whichever man could best serve the clan’s interests. The thought of you being handed off to another pathetic bastard made his stomach churn. At least here, under his roof, you wouldn’t have to endure that.

Call it generosity if you wanted. But if he were honest, it wasn’t that. You reminded him of his late wife—the fearlessness bordering on defiance in your eyes. The sheer willpower it must’ve taken to show up in the first place. Most girls in your situation would have cried or begged, pleading not to marry some old geezer, especially one as infamous in the community.

But you didn’t beg. Didn’t cry. You just stood there, composed, unshaken. Bored. You could’ve been out shopping for groceries.

He could respect that.

And like that, the black sheep of the Zenin clan would become your husband. Your family. And your sole protector. 

He remembers the quiet way you stepped into his apartment for the first time, your gaze sweeping the room with a calm, measured air. There was no hesitation, no unease—just a quiet assessment of the space, as though you were cataloging everything in that sharp mind of yours.

The look on your face didn’t match someone your age. You carried the weight of forced maturity, a burden that stirred old painful memories he immediately shoved back down.

He could tell you were judging, though you didn’t say anything out loud. It was in the faint crease of your brow, the almost imperceptible way your lips tightened. It sparked a flicker of irritation in him, the kind he couldn’t entirely shake. If you didn’t like it, you didn’t have to stay, yeah? 

But, color him surprised, you didn’t say a word. You’d easily found your way to his bedroom, setting your things down, navigating the house easily. Then, as if you’d been living there for years, you got straight to work.

No requests, no questions—just quiet purpose.

It was like you’d already claimed your space, like you’d accepted the role handed to you without a second thought. He wasn't necessarily gonna ask you to do all that, but hell he sure as hell wasn't going to complain. 

Your former clan had trained you well. He could see it in the efficiency of your movements, the way you moved through the apartment as though it were second nature. No questions asked, no instructions, no unnecessary chatter. Just straight down to business.

Toji didn’t linger.

He slipped out quietly, already lost in his thoughts about the job he had to handle. He’d be gone for two days—maybe one, if he played his cards right. Not that he needed to tell you. You didn’t need to know the details. You were here to stay put, to take care of things while he was gone. Simple as that.

As he rounded the corner outside the apartment, that nagging feeling crept in—a vague itch at the back of his mind, like he was forgetting something.

He paused mid-step, frowning as he patted his pockets. Wallet? Keys? No, he had those.

His smirk faltered for a moment, but he quickly shrugged it off, muttering under his breath, "Can't be that important."

Megumi had taken the long way home today.

Several boys in his class had been pissing him off to no end, and he’d been itching to punch something. He needed a distraction—something to cool him off. He really couldn’t afford to get into another fight. The pitying looks his teachers gave him felt degrading, especially when Toji never bothered to show to pick him up.

The long way home was scenic, at least. Trees and plants lined the path, offering some peace as he trudged along. He wasn’t sure whether Toji would even be home when he arrived. He never really knew for certain.

And honestly, Megumi wasn’t in the mood to hear his dad’s loud TV shows or his obnoxious phone calls. If he wasn’t, then the apartment would just be empty, cold, and silent.

Either way, it didn’t matter.

What Megumi really cared about was dinner.

The fridge had been empty for weeks, and his deadbeat dad hadn’t bothered to restock it. Megumi had been scraping by, finding ways to earn enough cash for food. Sometimes he’d deliver things for the neighbors or help them with spring cleaning. Those odd jobs usually kept him going, but lately, there hadn’t been any requests. The lack of work only adding to his frustration.

He didn’t interact with Toji much. Their relationship walked a thin line between hatred and indifference.  Most of the time, Megumi ignored his father, as much as Toji seemed to ignore him. On the rare occasions Toji remembered Megumi existed, it always ended in chaos—loud arguments, dismissive grunts, relentless teasing, or worse, painfully awkward attempts to act like a parent.

It had been that way ever since Megumi turned eleven. And today, more than anything, he was just hungry. Too hungry to fight with his absentee father, even if he was home. Too tired to care.

Walking up the stairs to his apartment, something caught his eye. The kitchen window was open. That stopped him in his tracks.

Toji wasn’t the kind of guy to leave windows open, even in decent weather—a weird thing to notice, but Megumi was always acutely aware of his surroundings, always attuned to his father’s patterns.

Megumi made his way inside, creeping slowly and so, so quietly. Peeking around the corner, he froze.

Someone was in the kitchen—a girl. No, a woman?

Your back was to him as you worked at the counter, slicing onions with quick, precise movements. He blinked, his sharp eyes narrowing. You were young—maybe just a few years older than him.

Younger than Toji’s usual type, that was for sure. You didn’t fit. Toji wasn’t a stranger to bringing women around the apartment, but they never looked like you. And they never lingered. Most were gone by breakfast, hurrying out with an awkward smile and a strained “bye” when they spotted Megumi at the table.

He watched you chop onions, noticing the glint of a ring on your finger. So, you were married—

“You can come out from there, y’know.”

Megumi flinched slightly, caught off guard. For a brief moment, he felt the sting of embarrassment—spying and getting caught really wasn’t a good look—but he quickly reminded himself this was his home.

He had no reason to feel embarrassed. Straightening his posture, he stepped out from behind the doorway, his sharp eyes fixed on you as you casually wiped your hands on a towel.

You turned to face him, a soft smile playing on your lips. The first thing he noticed was how pretty you were.

Tall and poised, you stood at least a head above him, dressed in modest, traditional clothing that seemed entirely out of place in this shabby apartment. There was something elegant about you, a kind of refinement that felt worlds away from the usual sleaziness of his father’s one-night stands.

“Who are you? Why’re you here?” His tone came out sharper than he intended. Unintentionally huffy and childish, and it made him pause a second.

You studied him for a moment, and for some reason his scowl almost endearing. You introduce yourself and explain, simply, that you lived here.

Megumi’s brow furrowed, and he crossed his arms, his voice ever defiant, no doubt pushed from the shitty day he just had. “You don’t live here. Leave.”

The attempt at a threat would’ve been more intimidating if his stomach hadn’t chosen that moment to growl, easily breaking the tension. You bit back a laugh, quickly covering your mouth, but it was hard not to find the situation amusing.

The way he stood there, furrowed brow and stubborn glare, reminded you of a fussy kitten—all bristling fur and misplaced bravado. It was clear he wasn’t used to strangers lingering in his space, and his defensiveness only made him seem all the more adorable. Still, he was being serious—you really shouldn’t laugh.

He looked so much like Toji—same sharp features, same brooding energy—minus the flat hair and scar. You’d heard about him before coming here, mentioned briefly by your clan head, but the reality of meeting him was something different. He was much cuter than you’d expected, truly embodying the “fussy kitty” vibe, and you had to resist the urge to tease him outright.

“Ah,” lightly, your tone as soothing as you could make it without giggling, “but I’m in the middle of cooking. Why don’t we eat first, and then we can talk?”

Your tone was gentle, your smile genuine, and Megumi couldn’t sense any malice from you. Besides, whatever you were making smelled incredible, and his stomach had been growling from the moment he walked in.

His gaze shifted to the counter, where ingredients and half-prepped dishes were laid out. He hesitated. Sure, his dad had brought women home before, but none of them ever bothered to cook—especially not for him. Against his better judgment, he gave a small, reluctant nod.

And before long, the two of you were sitting at the kitchen table, three plates set neatly in front of you. It was late, but you still held onto the idea that Toji might come home. You made light conversation with Megumi, trying to get a feel for the boy you now understood to be your stepson.

You’d been briefed by your clan about Toji and his son—vague instructions to “watch Toji” and “get on his son's good side.” They hadn’t been specific about why, but their motives were never selfless. Still, you had no intention of playing those games. Not fully.

What you wanted was to build an honest connection with your new family, especially with this grumpy, sharp-eyed boy who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder as big as his father’s. It’s the first time you’d really been away from the clan estate, so this was just really nice.

As the meal went on, you began to learn little things about him. He remained distant, of course, his responses clipped and matter-of-fact—but the warmth of a good meal and your gentle smile seemed to soften him, if just slightly. You managed to coax his name out of him, and though he said it without much fanfare, it felt like a small victory.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

It was a Friday night, and you figured Megumi would be around the house tomorrow. As you finished the surprisingly comfortable dinner, your eyes lingered on the third, untouched plate at the table—Toji’s. You wondered, briefly, if he’d show up at all.

“He probably won’t be back tonight,” Megumi said, breaking your train of thought. His voice was matter-of-fact, as if he had long since grown used to this routine. He shoveled another spoonful of food into his mouth before adding, “Probably be gone for a few days.”

This surprised you, sure, but you weren’t going to complain anytime soon. As long as you didn’t have to go back to that horrid clan house, you could put up with a missing husband. In fact, you kind of preferred it this way.

You laughed softly at Megumi’s puffed-up cheeks, causing his ears to dust red as he swallowed quickly. Your constant smiles still seemed to throw him off guard.

The conversation flowed easily—a mix of lighthearted bickering and probing questions on both ends. Megumi was really curious about the random woman that showed up in his home.

“What’s the ring for?” he asked suddenly, his sharp gaze flicking to your hand. His tone was casual, but there was an underlying curiosity, as if he hadn’t noticed the simple band until now.

Your fingers instinctively twisted the warm metal as you glanced down at it, the question catching you off guard.

“Ah, well, I’ve just married,” you replied softly, your voice carrying a faint melancholy despite your attempt to sound neutral. Your eyes zone out as you stare at the heavy band.

“It’s still new…An arrangement by my family.” You hadn’t meant to let that slip, but the truth clung to the edges of your words. Quickly, you smiled, avoiding a damper on the evening. You quickly reached over to ladle another spoonful of food onto Megumi’s empty plate.

“Arranged marriage? With who?” he asked, the concept not foreign but undeniably unsettling. You seemed like such a nice person, except for the fact that you were sitting in his kitchen—someone he’d assumed was just another one of his father’s passing flings.

But unlike the others, you’d cooked for him and his father, cleaned the kitchen till it looked better than it had in weeks. And now you were sitting down to dinner with him, as if you had nothing else you’d rather be doing.

Though he’d only known you for a few hours, he didn’t think you’d be the type to cheat on your husband or worm your way into their lives without cause. Maybe that was just his full stomach talking.

His mind caught up to him, the pieces falling into place.

“…Not…Toji. Right?” His voice faltered, and you couldn’t help but think how strange it was to hear him refer to his father by his first name.

You let out a soft laugh at his shocked expression, restraining yourself from patting his head, before nodding your own. “The one and only,”

The look on his face was comical—brows raised high, his mouth slightly agape. But beneath the initial surprise, there was something darker—an unease that settled into the lines of his frown. Wary, guarded. He didn’t like this, not one bit. 

After dinner, you sent Megumi off to bed, tidying up the plates left behind. He didn’t wait for you to finish cleaning, retreating to his room with his thoughts spinning.

As he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t stop replaying the conversation in his head. His father was married—to you, of all people. Supposedly. And for some reason, that knowledge left a bitter taste in his mouth.

It was weird. Megumi had left the house empty and returned to find you. If what you were saying was true, you were about to take over as his stepmother. He wouldn’t put it past his shitty father to pop up suddenly married—it was exactly the kind of thing Toji would do.

Still, the whole situation didn’t sit right with him. An arranged marriage wasn’t out of the question. You seemed way too sweet and proper to have chosen someone like Toji, willingly. Megumi’s knowledge of clan life, hierarchy, or how arranged marriages worked in the sorcerer world, was frustratingly limited thanks to his father’s insistence on keeping him far removed from all of it. 

Then there was your age. You were young—too young for his dad. Closer to his age than Toji’s. Was Toji an even bigger pervert than he originally thought? He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to settle down. What was this about, then? Did he just want a housemaid? Someone to clean up after him and Megumi while he went off on his “business trips”?

It didn’t seem fair to you. What were you getting out of this arrangement? You did say your family set it up…but what could have possibly led you to agree to marry someone like Toji?

The more Megumi thought about it, the more wrong it all felt. You seemed too kind, too proper, too... normal for this situation. Surely there was more to the story. Were you being forced into this? Did you have your own reasons that you weren’t sharing?

But then again, there was always the chance you were lying.

People lied all the time. You could be some psycho ex-girlfriend worming your way back into his father’s life. Or worse, a manipulative stranger with motives that had nothing to do with Toji at all. Maybe you’d rob the place blind, and by the time he woke up there’d be nothing left.

You might’ve seemed nice now, but Megumi wasn’t about to take anything at face value.

He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall, his thoughts racing. He didn’t know what to make of you, couldn’t figure out whether to trust the calm sincerity you projected or to see it for what it might be: a well-crafted facade.

One thing was certain—he wasn’t going to let his guard down so easily.

He’d just have to wait it out, keep an eye on you, and see what happened when Toji finally dragged his ass back home.

p.2?

AN: Thank you for reading! Please reblog and like if you enjoy this series!

I will also be posting updates here:

https://www.tumblr.com/communities/obsessedjjk

come home

[kayhi808]

What was Thanksgiving like? Does Steve bring Miss Grace? Does mama go Black Friday shopping leaving Abby with Steve and Bucky?

What does Christmas look like? What about decorating the tree? Do they have to juggle the avengers and at the house or mamas family?

OMG does Bucky get to meet mamas and Abby’s family?

Sorry I’m so excited to see the holidays through Abby’s eyes! I love Abby!

Thank you for all these questions! I'm so happy you're interested in this little family. Sadly, you and Abby were pretty much alone. You didn't have family, and Jason's family never accepted you and Abigail. You'd figure after their son passed away, they'd want Abby in their lives more but sadly, they didn't.

You and Abby only had each other, which is why Abby feels so strongly about family. Family is important, but you can't just let anyone be a part of your family. Steve, wanting to be Uncle Steve,was like a sacred promise to Abby. Steve quickly understood the significance of being Abby's Uncle Steve. But as for Christmas....

You, Bucky and Abby return to your apartment after the Christmas Eve party at The Tower for all the employees. Abby, exhausted from playing with the other children & tracking Santa Claus on Director Fury's program, fell asleep on the drive home. You changed her into her PJs and didn't bother waking her up. Nothing was going to wake your baby up.

**********

But something definitely woke you up on Christmas morning! The early morning sun, bright against the fresh fallen snow wasn't the culprit. It was the ear-piercing scream that came from the living room. You feel Bucky shoot out of bed, his body thrown against you, assessing the danger. You grab his arm as he's set fly out of the room to find Abby. You rub circles on his back to calm him, keeping you eyes closed for the 5 seconds of peace you have left. "Incoming."

"WHAT?!"

You hear little feet thundering down the hallway, a body crashing into your door, shoving it open. Abigail Rose, hair tousled from sleep, sees that Bucky is awake, and gives another scream. Running and throwing herself on the bed, crawling her way over to you, "HE WAS HERE! Santa was at my house, Mama! Mama, wakes up!" Abby grabs your shoulder & starts shaking you.

"Are you sure it was him? Maybe you were mistaken." You yawn wide.

"Not! I no mistakes!" Abby frowns at you, "My 'tocking is so full! Can we open my presents?"

You pull her down to pepper her with kisses until she giggles. "Yes, we can open your presents! Maybe Bucky can help you get your robe. It's chilly."

"Oh, yes! Papa helps me!" Bucky had thrown on a hoodie while watching your exchange. He doesn't look so shell-shocked anymore. He sits at the edge of the bed as Abby throws herself on his back.

"You can pass out presents but you can't open them until I say ok," climbing out of bed.

"Ok, Mama."

*******

Bucky insisted that you get a real Christmas tree, promising to get rid of it for you later. You didn't put up a fight because you loved the smell of pine. Last year you had a plastic tree but a real wreath so at least you'd have the fragrance. But an entire tree? YES! Yes, please! It's decorated with a rainbow mix of store bought and home-made decorations that you and Abby made. Many of the decorations are on the bottom half, as high as Abby can reach. You don't mind. You loved it that way.

You enter the living room as Abby is making little piles of gifts & you go to the couch and snuggle up next to Bucky. You enjoy watching Abby concentrating so hard on passing out presents. You glance over at Bucky and you see him watching Abby, admiring the tree with the biggest smile on his face. He looks at you, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss across your knuckles, "I've never been so happy in my entire life." You pull him in for a sweet kiss, until another screech from Abby draws away your attention.

She found her present to Bucky. She runs over, leaning her elbows on his lap, "Papa, dis my gift to yous. I chooses and found it all by myself. Santa no gets you dis one."

Bucky leans in, "Wow! Did you really?" Abby blushes & nods. "I can't wait to open it."

"Do's it now!" Lifting her little fists in the the air, "Do's it now!" She climbs on the couch and stands on the cushions, squeezing between you and Bucky doing little jumps.

Bucky catches your eye over Abby's shoulder & he looks like a little kid as he opens his gift. He quickly gets rid of the wrappings and ribbons, to open the long narrow box. Within it lies a pair of chopsticks, black metal, detailed in gold, like his arm. "Abigail," he softly whispers, taking them out of the box.

Leaning against his shoulder, "We can eat nu-nu soup now! You wikes?? I sawed it & it 'minded me of your pwetty arm." Her little fingers start to trace against his shoulder. It's like she memorized the pattern of the gold detail even under his hoodie, "I love it so much."

Looking at her, "I likes. I likes so much." Bucky pulls her into his arms for a hug. Her chubby arms quickly wrap around his neck, landing a loud kiss to his cheek. Bucky doesn't let her go until she wiggles to be set free. She giggles and jumps off the couch to start on her presents.

Bucky leans his head back on the couch, holding his chopsticks to his chest, going over that moment that just happened. The excitement Abby had from giving him his gift. The obvious care and love she took to select it. His little Abigail.

He feels your fingers carding through his hair, "Are you ok, babe?" He rolls his head towards you, grabbing your hand and dropping a kiss against your knuckles. "I know." You give him a soft smile. He loves your daughter as his own. You glance at Abby dragging her stocking into the middle of the room so she can be the center of attention. "She has no idea how hard she can squeeze your heart."

"Mama! Cans I start?"

You and Bucky start clapping for her, "Yes, baby! Let's see what Santa brought you."

Money had been tight prior to working with the Avengers so you were excited that you could splurge a little more this year. Abby's stocking was filled with Christmas snacks and candies. She wanted Hello Kitty socks and hair ribbons and barrettes. Santa also brought her a Disney Princess dress, Princess Tiana. Legos & storybooks rounded out all of Santa's presents. You got her board games and new clothes.

The winner was Bucky. After all Abby's presents were open, he ran downstairs to his SUV & got Abby's last gift. A bicycle! It had training wheels, a helmet and a basket perched up front. Abby Rose lost her mind! When Bucky goes running at the park or the tracks at The Tower, she can ride along side him.

Later, as you and Bucky were getting breakfast ready, you looked around your apartment. Abby had opened her Legos and got to work setting it up on the living room floor, you realize this was the best Christmas morning you ever had. This was your family and your place never felt so much like a home.

@waywardhunter95 @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unax @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly

[zimcard-artblog]

Clash Brothers redesign drafts + First Crush alt performance outfit designs

[valoflunar]

james and sirius were each other's first choice and basically each others first everything

[theamethystvampiress]

Brad Dourif as Tucker Cleveland, an exterminator from Stephen King's Graveyard Shift (1990).

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 4

here we go, episode 4! compared to some of the others, pretty understated, but it's definitely one of my favorites. why? I'LL TELL YOU WHY (that's what i do) (and that's what you're here for) (i think)

Logan: "Whoever can guess the most fake team names–" leans in dramatically and smirks at the camera– "gets to spin that wheel."

Alex: "It's our biggest highlight of the weekend."

okay SO! episode 4, and here we're introducing one of my favorite things about this whole series. i've said it before, i'll say it again; alex thinks this is stupid. he enjoys doing the challenges and messing around with logan (obviously) and i think he enjoys being given an actual reason to do something silly and weird, he just thinks the concept is dumb. but he's starting to become endeared to it, more amused than annoyed. and logan is picking up on this, as he has been the whole time. so far logan has been a little gremlin, knowing when and what and how to annoy alex as he fumbles through this ridiculousness. and something that will become a theme of this show **that starts today** is logan starts his own bit just for alex– the camera gets right in on it too. look at that ridiculous random close-up. he stares right into the lens with the most plastic game-show-host raised eyebrow/smiling eyes ever. he does that stupid thing hosts do when they hype up something so much it literally almost gets freaky, like he's trying to be straight up seductive talking about That Wheel ™, and to alex– underwhelmed, fed-up, "why am i here" alex, this is fucking hilarious. as soon as logan delivers the line he leans back to look at alex because he knows exactly how that joke will land. and he's right. alex goes from just fidgeting on the table and staring at literally nothing to smiling for the first time, shaking his head, and then picking up to continue the bit. and logan's so proud of himself that he's brought this little twist of humor, he looks at alex waiting for the reaction, almost tantalizing himself and of course alex reacts exactly how logan thought he would and his smile goes from playful and mischievous to just genuinely endeared

also, let's talk a little bit about how the game progresses; "real-or-fake" with some bizarre football team names. for the first third, maybe even half of the game, the dynamic is pretty predictable. alex looks confused, doubtful. he does all his thinking out loud, mulling over either option, looking behind the camera at the questioners as if he can trick them into giving something away. logan sits back quietly, thoughtfully, and gives a one-word answer while alex rambles. but as the game goes on, we see logan start to kind of open up. he responds with a little bit more expression, even a tiny bit of emotion in his voice, and eventually he starts thinking out loud just like alex is doing. only while alex is thinking out loud to the staff, waiting for some hint of an answer, logan is thinking out loud to alex. turning his head. not saying a whole lot but only delivering his answer to the crew and then turning around to see how alex will react. they both start to remember it's a competition, alex with "i've got to catch you somehow" (oh do you) and logan "you could've brought it back!" (oh could he). it goes from a challenge to a game.

eh, nothing much to say about this particular moment. just logan leaning into alex waiting on his answer. just alex failing again in the same way (thinking it's too fake to be fake) and logan celebrating his win. just alex tossing his head in logan's direction with a sheepish smile and then logan tilting his head up slowly and gazing at alex and taunting him with his eyes. just logan saying "two up, baby!" while smiling at alex and then alex laughing again and then immediately having to turn away and cast his eyes down. just that i guess.

THIS! okay yes this is a pivotal moment!

we've seen physical contact in grid friendships before. a lot. like a lot a lot (if you're racing with carlos sainz, i mean come on, what are you expecting). it's natural, it's comfortable, it's even expected– so many of these guys have literally grown up racing against each other. formula 1 isn't anyone's first-year orientation, most of them have either known each other or known of each other for years. with some people it's different; oscar isn't super big on physical contact. zhou's level of introversion is like if a cat became a monk (which i admire). with these two in particular, with each other– it's not that they don't like contact or that it just doesn't come naturally, but the concept itself holds a certain level of anxiety. they're complete opposites. even on the same team, their situations and environments are so different, it's like they don't even have that solid ground to share. logan is alone at williams, alex is their golden boy even though everyone (including himself) knows that he's outperforming that car. and they both have to put on a smile and carry their team's image off track because the car can't do it on track. by all means their relationship should be strained, especially in these "hey can you guys pretend to be happy for us" videos, or at the very least hold a professional sort of iciness. so physical affection? why would that even come up? but throughout this series they've both tried leaning into each other, looking a little too close, holding eye contact for maybe a bit longer than expected. and it's not just one person making the move, it's both of them testing the waters at random intervals, hesitant and anxious and double-checking for approval immediately before or after. earlier in the video logan half-raises his arm and almost leans into alex like he's planning to reach out and shies away, thinks better of it. and then alex gets something right and he's so happy about it and still at the point where he's surprised to be getting anything right at all and logan just reaches out and gives him that reassuring pat on the knee. like bros do. except his expression turns totally flat when he does and his voice gets kind of flat too and nonchalant and he's nervous as fuck and trying to hide it because this is like a test. he doesn't know how alex is going to react and he's forcing himself to be as casual as possible to the point where it stands out because now alex has to be as casual as possible and there's no chance to make it weird. except what alex does is yeah he laughs and he's happy that he scored and then he turns and looks at logan and suddenly the happiness intensifies and his smile is so much brighter and that's when logan reaches out and alex is almost surprised at the touch but he's not and it's just sweet and smooth and comfortable

YES OKAY HERE WE GO! so logan is an overthinker by nature and definitely so after that one knee pat (he's totally thinking in circles about this). he still glances at alex *a lot* but suddenly now his glances are fleeting, at one point he's in the process of turning his head and he literally interrupts his own movements to turn around and look back to the questioner. and up to this point he doesn't reach out again at all. BUT alex is actually catching up with the game and he finally gets the question that ties their score and then he reaches out? and literally makes the most awkward noise possible it's like "heeEeeuh" because he's trying to laugh and he's trying to say like hey look at that i beat you but now he's ALSO overthinking. because he's nervous and trying to read the right signals but he knows he's excited and he knows that logan's set a tone and he's making the same move with the same amount of apprehension. it almost looks forced because they don't do this they don't know how to do this but they're figuring it out and they're comfortable and they're realizing that maybe this doesn't have to be scary and maybe they can just be this with each other!!

UH YEAH WHAT DID I SAYYY! alex is getting more excited as he starts finally getting ahead in the game. the names are just as weird, he and logan both put as much thought (probably too much) into figuring out if they're real or not, but the reactions just get more and more intense on the answers. as they find out who's correct. and logan's happier and he's getting bolder and he's both shocked and elated like "this worked?? this is okay now??" and now compared to his usual somewhat sedate mannerisms he's like all over alex. it doesn't look like something that comes naturally to him, it looks awkward, it looks too thought-out... because it is. because he's waiting for someone to tell him to stop. he's waiting to feel like he's doing the wrong thing because good things can never last. but alex isn't pushing him away or moving his chair away or giving any sort of sign that he wants this tone to change. instead he's like letting logan move him, kind of like either relaxing or melting into him to the point where he's letting logan push him around and he keeps doing that smiling/eyes light up/suddenly too much/look away combo that we know is just teasing logan at this point. and they both look nervous and uncertain and so much less sure but so much more energized than anything this series has brought us before.

[prize wheel lands on Alex mini helmet]

Logan: "It's signed, too."

Alex (turning to Logan, absolute 😯 oh no! 😯 moment): "It is?"

[they both burst out laughing]

oh no, how could they do this to me? code ultramarine blue because this has officially killed me. "it's signed, too" logan doing his little game-show host bit that made alex laugh earlier?? alex having zoned out already, being completely lost and then turning to logan with the most sorrowful confused expression (instead of, i don't know, the TEAM WHO ARE FACILITATING THIS EVENT) and asking in that stupid sorrowful confused voice "it is?" so quietly that the mics literally do not pick it up??? and logan meeting his gaze and realizing that yes alex is indeed completely lost about his own signature on his own merch and he just fucking cracks up and as soon as his face lights up and he smiles that big alex turns to the camera like ?? and then he bursts out laughing and logan just straight up pushes him because WE HAVE ENTERED THE REALM OF PHYSICAL CONTACT and at first alex is just laughing at the camera/in general but then as soon as logan's hand is on him and after he's just absolute heart eyes for logan and guys please it's not even that funny but they're in each other's company and in each other's presence and that makes everything exponentially better and

and you know what? i think this could've been something. i think this moment, these few moments between them, could have actually meant something to them as individuals and to their relationship as a whole because they're trying new things, neither of them are 100% comfortable with the other but they want to be. "i know this is silly and i know we have to look and act a certain way right now but i want you to know that i'm having fun because i'm with you. and i don't want this to be just another front that we have to put on because there's something about this that makes me wish it was different. that we could be just us and we could just have fun without the cameras, without a bribe, without some motivation for some other things. i want to be this comfortable with you and i like playing this role for you and i like who you are to me when we're like this, and i wish it was real i wish it can be real"

i think it could've been something if the rest of the season hadn't just been a torturous, meticulous, agonizing campaign to break logan down. the self-confidence, humor, affection, boldness in this video? this is at a time when something like that could still happen at least a little bit off camera. unorchestrated. in general. and then we arrive at a point where logan has fallen so deep in these shadows that bringing out this kind of energy takes so much work and time and so much alex that it's not something that can be taken for granted and it's not something that will ever indicate anything else outside of whatever particular video and that–

that's not fair

episode 5

[jadebrightwind]

Me: *a hopeless romantic* this character is everything, the catalyst, the origin of all my tastes and desires for the future, they inspired me, I love them so dearly, nothing can or ever will take that away, thank you for my life force

The character:

(Art is from the YYH manga I did NOT draw this lmao)

[whereisliki]

[brloche]

Thank @hypnostallev for tagging!~

You have to say your first fictional crush and post a picture of them...

I remember too well watching some anime series at about the same time. Well, there was the Fullmetall Alchemist, and Edward Elric was the very first anime character that I really loved in appearance.

Since then, I've been somewhat weak in front of blondes with predatory yellow eyes. And his personality and motivation throughout the story? My God, I was more worried about his brother's fate than I was about my own problems!

Besides, it was a fictional character why I got acquainted with fan fiction, and also tried to write something for the first time and I tried to come up with my own character and introduce her into the canon of the anime. Honestly, he is absolutely my type - smart and intelligent, cheeky and cocky, sometimes funny, strong and protective, going to the end in his goals and charismatic as hell.

Tagging my darling @laurelinlote

[hypnostallev]

Thanks to @hyenamiloska for tagging!

You have to say your first fictional crush and post a picture of them...

Sooo, corpse of god, I guess?? Sotha Sil from The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind

Listen, listen, I know that he had almost no personality at the time of Morrowind, but even then he was infinitely mysterious and sad, and I loved how Kirkbride and 36 Lessons of Vivec specifically portrayed him as lost in his thoughts, future-oriented, and detached from his body.

It was great to see him back as a more developed character in TESO and Legends! Aloof and closed, a former idealist, incredibly smart and perceptive, trapped in a cage of his own regrets, a dreamer, a terrible person, but still kind and likeable. Thoughtful and intriguing, but such imperfect.

And also my friend bullying me about it with memes 😔 I mean, girl, I know I am simping for a fatalistic half-corpse loser since childhood, leave me alone!! хддд

Tagging (with no pressure, ofc!): @brloche, @undeadfrog, @kutkhart, @thelostpretzel, @archdrukhari

[drakebellappreciation]

Come here....Ow

Just put on the jacket

[kayhi808]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEToKF4iqrk/?igsh=MXFweTduMHUzb2l2MQ==

What is Abby's reaction to Bucky calling her mama as "mine"?

She's like huh excuse me papa she is mine first, you were no where in the picture before 😂😂

Oh my goodness! Um, this would not sit well with Abigail. It's always been just you and her. The audacity! No one is going to keep Abby from her Mama. Bucky learned a serious lesson that day.

Abby just woke up from her nap and was looking to cuddle with you, "Mama?"

"We're out here, baby." Abby heads to the living room and sees that Bucky's over.

"Bucky!" Abby skips over to give him a hug but quickly turns to you with her thumb in her mouth, "Mama, I need shnuggles."

Bucky quickly lifts & moves you to the other side of him, away from Abby. Jokingly, "No, it's Mama & me time. She's mine."

Abby removes her thumb from her mouth, looking confused. "But she my Mama."

"Not today," blocking you from Abby.

She starts standing up straighter, "Everyday she my Mama." Little wrinkles form between her eyebrows.

"From now on she's mine." Abby tries to reach for you but Bucky blocks her and that makes Abigail furious.

"She my Mama first!" Fisting her little hands she stalks Bucky. "I founded you at the Tower! You no live here! Go away!

Bucky laughs, "I'm not going away."

Abby's little woeful eyes meet yours, "Mama?"

"Enough," you say sternly giving Bucky a hard shove, scooping Abby up and settle at the other end of the couch, with your baby in your arms.

Abby immediately burst into tears, holding you in a death grip. "Don't leave me, Mama! You cannot. Pwomise! You'd need to pwomise!"

"Shhhh, Abby."

Horrified, Bucky hurries to Abby's side. "Abby, I'm sorry, baby. I was only joking." Abby screams and lunges at Bucky, nails bared. He quickly scoots back.

You hold Abby tighter, giving her kisses. "I will never leave you. You're my baby." Setting her away so you could look her in her eyes, "It's Mama and you forever. Right? Me and you."

Abby nods, "me and yous" and snuggles into your chest. Hiccups subsiding as she sucks her thumb.

Bucky tries again, "Abby? It was a very bad joke. I'm so sorry. I should have stopped. I love you, Abby Rose. Please forgive me."

Abby just stares at him and it's his turn to give you a worried look. "Baby, you don't have to forgive him right now. He made you very scared and very angry."

"I's still mads!"

"I understand. You can be angry." Rubbing little circles on her back. "But you should tell Bucky how you feel."

You turn her to face Bucky, "I so mads at you." Bucky nods encouraging her to go on. "You cants take Mama from me. Cos den I'll had no one."

"I would never...."

"You'd a big Avenger. I'm too widdle to stops you. Mama needs to be mine."

"Yes, Mama is yours. Always! I promise. It was a very bad, dumb joke. I wish I never did it. I wish I could take it back."

Abby leans back against you & sucks her thumb. You brush her hair back from her forehead. "How about we wash your face, and then we can have some ice cream. Does that sound good?"

"Mmm Hmmm."

You prop her on your hip as you head to the bathroom. As you pass Bucky, Abby's foot shoots out catching him in the face. You hear him groan and look back, "You deserved it."

[the-cricket-chirps]

Annie Leibovitz

David Cassidy

1972

[Rolling Stone, May 11, 1972]

[steveandnatlover76]

Natasha: So, malyshka, why did you hit that boy at your school?

Sarah: Because I reeeally like him and I wanted to show him that.

Natasha: By hitting him?!

Sarah: Yes, you and daddy hit each other all the time in training sessions and you love each other and kiss a lot afterwards. So he‘s going to kiss me next!

Natasha: Uh…oh…I can see this is going to be complicated.

[blot-squisher]

who was marcus' first crush?

His first male crush was Steve Irwin. The accent, the passion for animals, the shorts. Marcus cried for a solid day when he died and built a small shrine in his closet.

His first female crush was Sigourney Weaver (Me too buddy, me too) He watched Alien and then Aliens at a very young age and quickly realized he likes a gal who can kick ass.

[zimcard-artblog]

First Crush, dancing and adorned in jewels like a chandelier