#i just had to include a quote of them talking about these scenes lol

[swallowedabug]

INTERVIEWER: When it comes to those more fantastical moments, is it more difficult to keep things grounded or do you find that just an excuse to have fun and let loose for a little bit amidst the stress of making a television show? IMPEY: Do you know, the only thing about those bits that makes us come out of character is because they're so funny, watching Anj have to do when she's coming out of the smoke and you're just carrying on like the scene is just casual. It's just so hard, so much corpsing, so much laughing, retakes over and over again. VASAN: The day that I had to be hit on the head with a banana, it's only like a second, but after a while I was like, “Guys, I really need you to keep it together now,” because take after take it was just Lucy corpsing and then Juliette went, and then Sarah's ever professional, but even she was trying to go, and then Faith was just losing, and I was like, “I can't. There's only so many times I can be hit by this banana.” [Laughs] Like, “Please, we've got to have at least one take!” [x]

WE ARE LADY PARTS 2.01 (2024)

[mycadences]

When Elain was about to be thrown into the Cauldron (so this was before she even entered the "oh so evil and corrupt" Cauldron that "definitely twisted and created fake mating bonds!"), notice who was the one who had a visceral reaction:

Also notice how I didn't include Azriel's reaction? Yeah. Because he had none. Azriel had no reaction to Elain's greatest trauma -- her transformation into a High Fae. I can't even find any quotes during that scene, and if you don't believe me, grab your copy of ACOMAF and verify it for yourself. This is why they are definitely NOT mates. Meanwhile, Lucien tried to help Elain although it was their first meeting, so how it possibly be that their mating bond is fake and created by the Cauldron when he felt the bond even before she went in?

In fact, during ACOMAF, Azriel was heavily implied to be shipped with Mor:

But Mor, as we all know, was likely retconned and revealed to be bisexual in ACOWAR (with a greater inclination toward females), putting an end to their ship.

Meanwhile, contrast Azriel's reaction toward Elain's violation to how Cassian reacted when Nesta was going through the same thing:

Cassian's wings were shredded. He was in a sea of agony. And yet when Nesta was being thrown into the Cauldron, he was fighting to stay conscious at her screams. Because Nesta is his mate.

The same way that Eluciens are undeniably, irrefutably mates, evil Cauldron be damned.

Alternatively, you can also contrast to this scene:

Azriel is the Night Court's Spymaster. Yet he didn't leave a single one of the Hybern soldiers alive for questioning? He killed them all immediately, suggesting that he was in a fit of blind, uncontrollable rage.

Which one screams mate behavior to you?

Edit to add: I finally found it! The evidence that Azriel knew to keep at least two enemies alive for questioning, so it was obvious he was incapable of thinking clearly when he killed every single one of the Hybern soldiers who hurt Gwyn.

In this scene (in ACOSF), Cassian and Azriel were attacked by Autumn Court soldiers, and if Cassian knew the reasoning behind keeping two soldiers alive, obviously Azriel (the actual Spymaster) would, too.

"But -- Elain was wearing a cobalt blue dress when she met Azriel!"

Yeah, so? Nesta was wearing an amethyst dress when she met Cassian...

... and she ended up with Cassian, didn't she? If cobalt is Azriel's color then crimson is Cassian's (these are the colors corresponding to their siphons btw), and if SJM intended the scene to be a parallel, wouldn't she have Nesta in a crimson dress?

Also tons of people wore cobalt outfits. Feyre, Eris, Helion, even Vassa in ACOSF. I guess we should start shipping Vassa and Azriel! Azris shippers should celebrate, since by Elriels' logic your ship is confirmed!

And if you really want to compare outfits, I think it's significant that both Azriel and Lucien draped their coats over Gwyn and Elain respectively in light of their traumatic experiences. This is how you do a proper parallel.

Even SJM herself alluded to being an Elucien shipper:

Yes, this was from her actual Pinterest account before she took it down. If you search online for it, you'll find other people talking about it and that this is true, it's not just some random fake account lol.

Elriels claim that Gwyn is the red herring in their ship. I propose the opposite -- Elain is the red herring in Gwynriel's ship, like how Azriel is the red herring in Elucien's ship. Because think about it, if Elriel were really meant to be, why would SJM need to introduce Gwyn as a potential love interest for Azriel? She already had one red herring in Lucien, did she really need a second one? No, she didn't. So why? Why does all the evidence, new and old, point toward Gwynriel and Elucien and not Elriel?

Because there was never Elriel. Elriel were never mates, nor would they ever be. There was only ever Elucien (which came first) and Moriel (but Mor was retconned into being bisexual), which eventually gave rise to Gwynriel and highly likely Emorie (Mor x Emerie).

[ca-suffit]

No offense to Sam but the way he's been talking about Lestat lately is ... troubling, to say the least. He did an interview with Screenrant and he legit said that Lestat's abuse of Louis was "probably not as violent an act as Louis made it out to be in season 1." That's a direct quote, by the way. I understand that a lot of Lestat fans have their rose-colored glasses on and they're not the only ones, sure. However, when you have the actor saying things like this, are we really surprised Lestat fans are just as willing to turn a blind eye and act as if he's this innocent beacon of sunshine whose word is the gospel truth? I can't include links but you can search up Sam Reid and Screenrant on Google and the article should pop up.

ya, I've seen that quote (article and text at the bottom of this post).

if this fandom was full of critical thinkers the way ppl always luv to claim, we'd be able to discuss these things and even say maybe these actors say dumb, harmful shit sometimes. assigning sam reid the new role of anne rice stand in, coming from ppl who already have an unhealthy relationship with her, usually going back decades, is why trying to do anything here is p useless.

this fandom will never know peace bcuz instead of focusing on the fact harm was done, racist fandom has to keep digging and victim blaming black characters bcuz how could the white character do this, it's ooc, it's bad writing, it's not what anne rice would have done (except she did lol but there's always an excuse for why that doesn't count).

there's a lot of things the fandom could be talking about but instead it's gonna be tossing this quote up forever as "the truth" and it's gonna be like 50 year olds in the fandom doing it too. embarrassing tbh.

One of my favorite moments in the episode is Lestat apologizing over the cloud gift move from last season. It's powerful and moving, and yet so frustrating because the trial carries on like nothing after. Can you talk about playing that scene with Jacob?

Sam Reid: Yeah, I think we kind of had to make sure it [landed]. I don't want it to be like, "Yeah, but actually, it's not such a big deal. He apologized, and it's over now," which is what Claudia said. It's probably not as violent an act as Louis made it out to be in season 1, but I think the fact that Lestat did something to him that is so out of his nature was driven by the extent to which they love each other.

Lestat was driven to the point that he didn't fully even recognize himself, and he saw from his own hands an action that was unforgivable. You've physically hurt the person that you love so much that you no longer feel like you deserve to be with them. He knew that, and I think the thing is that he realized that as soon as he's done that, he also has to die.

In terms of working on that scene with Jacob, I think it's important for us to acknowledge that this is not the end. Do you know what I mean? This is not the finality of that beat. Louis doesn't forgive him at that moment, and Lestat sees that. He can't look at him that much during the trial, but there's another moment when Lestat looks at him and all he sees is pure hate in Louis' gaze. "He's never going to forgive me." But he doesn't flip back to just doing the trial — he still wants to save him, you know what I mean? He's got to just hurry the proceedings up, get through the f--king thing, and stick to his script.

That definitely is also when I feel like we get into that silhouetted, mirage version of the trial. I think that's when we're in full-blown POV bulls--t of how it actually went.

[l-in-the-light]

Why did Law break the heart of poor Chopper? 😭🥺

Did he tho? :D I assume you mean the infamous "shut up" scene at the end of Wano. Did you know this is actually not the first time Law tells Chopper to shut up? But let's start from the beginning!

"See you around, Torao!", "Shut up!". In the anime it comes off much harsher than in the manga, in which the flow is completely different, because it happens immediately after or even in same time as Law's conversation with Luffy:

Law is trying to draw the line here, they've been in an alliance, but now it's over, so they had to know this would be the result, now they're back to being enemies. But since Law kinda expects Strawhats to forget about that (he was with them in that alliance long enough to know how "uneccessarily emotional" they are most of the time, lol), he reminds them about that, making it a very "manly" and "cool" goodbye in the end.

Except, it would stay that way, if not for Chopper destroying it all with his affectionate "see you around, Torao!" because he understands they became friends, and you say that to friends when you're parting ways, right? Chopper isn't really known for being able to "read the room", so he totally missed the vibe Law was going for. In the end Law has to shut him up before Chopper goes on to say even worse emotional stuff.

(btw Kid is not having any of this, just look at his grossed out reaction there... "set sail", it's like he's trying to make them leave faster so he doesn't have to hear their sobby pretentious goodbye lol)

You might have missed it, but it wasn't the first time Law told Chopper to shut up. The very first time it happened was in Punk Hazard, on their duo mission in the lab. Law, slightly aware they might be heard or watched, insists on Chopper hiding already because they're almost at the door. He wouldn't say it in a nice way. Don't get me wrong, I believe he is rather tamely mannered, but I can't deny there are a few things he indeed is rather rude about (though definitely still tame in comparison to other pirates): never saying greetings, for example, and also never saying "please". Apparently he uses "shut up" instead now, lol. Anyway here he told Chopper to shut up because he is worried they will be spotted and he won't say "please stay in the bag" lol.

(Law doesn't say "please" anymore, not after his last request was to Vergo and he got betrayed and Cora-san suffered as the result. Law didn't say the word "please" not even once ever since.)

Chopper is actually the first out of Strawhats crew that Law kinda bonded with. Despite Law telling him to hide, they actually talk for a bit in this scene and Law is really open with him too (telling him he can't deal with Caesar on his own and that's why he needs the help of Strawhats - a rare moment of honesty and something he didn't tell anyone else, not even Luffy). In a way, you can look at their goodbye in Wano as a callback to Punk Hazard :D

We know already Law is bad with greetings (which means also saying goodbyes). The best you can get from him is silence instead of "hi" or "bye", the worst you can get is "shut up". In Law's novel we also could see Law saying goodbye to Wolf and he struggled soooo much with it. If you thought Sanji's goodbye with Zeff was awkward, Law's goodbye with Wolf is like ten times that, haha. I will use some quotes here from the end of the novel, so if you want to skip it, now would be your cue :D (you can skip to the next image from manga!)

*cough cough* yes, it's Law saying that line: "stop, you'll make me cry". Young Law is a mood, I swear. In a way you can take it as a clue, Chopper got silenced so he won't blabble out emotional monologue like Wolf up there, melting Law's heart and pretense of toughness away.

"I have to say goodbye to the locals, as well only to those who have treated me particularly well. I think that includes the doctor and Rad".

It's worth noting that he says that as well in the novel, despite the fact we never see Law saying goodbye to practically no one in the manga. Not to Strawhats, not to Kin, not to Bartolomeo, and he was indebted to them to various degrees as well (not counting Kin, that was actually reversed). Young Law could stand goodbyes slightly better than adult Law, it seems.

A tearful goodbye between Wolf and Hearts. This is how his goodbye with Strawhats could have looked like as well, I guess? But keep in mind, when Law said his goodbye to Wolf it was pretty much the same situation like when Sanji said it to Zeff. Both were indebted to their mentors and didn't know if they will ever see each other again (and if they will, then when). Novel's ending suggests Wolf and Hearts didn't meet again and after Law announced them leaving for the Grand Line, you can be sure they never had occassion to go back to North Blue ever since. This goodbye is pretty much definitive, they won't see each other for more than a decade. The casual goodbye with Strawhats might mean they will see each other sooner than not! Especially with Chopper's foreshadowing "see you around!". Though I still think Law doesn't plan on meeting them again.

Now, is Chopper's heart truly broken by Law's response? He got shocked because Chopper doesn't understand why Law told him to shut up instead of telling him "see you around" or "take care" back. But Chopper often misreads the situation and that happens even in the Strawhats crew. At Jaya, Nami told him to dig for gold, only to scold him for something she told him to do mere moments later:

Chopper is simply bad at picking up those hints or realizing when someone asks of something unreasonable that's better to be ignored. He's also quite silly and naive, and ends up taken advantage of as the result. But mostly, all those social cues are beyond his understanding, because he's a reindeer. Chopper is also very emotional, always easily touched by someone's sad story or when seeing people crying. You can say his empathy levels are really high. Perhaps, but take it with a grain of salt, Chopper thought Law is a bit sad, maybe he picked up on his emotions that Law wanted to hide so well, so he said "see you around" to make it sound like their seperation isn't going to last very long, to cheer him up, and since no one else said it, Chopper thought he should (besides he also simply likes Law, why wouldn't he like him? they're both doctors and spent quite a long time together).

It didn't end the way Chopper wanted it to end (he probably didn't cheer up Law nor did he get any nice reply back), but it's hardly the first or the last time it happened to Chopper in the story. He can handle it, he's a tough reindeer :) sadly he probably won't learn any time soon, if at all. Also, this...

Some goodbyes are harsh for the sake of the person left behind. Here Hiruruk kicks out Chopper so the reindeer won't have to watch him dying with his own eyes. He thinks it's better to part ways before Chopper gets even more attached, so it hurts him a bit less. Hiruruk knows how kind and caring Chopper is and doesn't want him to lose his heart again. Sadly the only alternative he had was to break his heart a little, hoping it will heal fast, but at least *he won't lose it* completely. Could this also be seen as a parallel to Law's goodbye with Chopper? It might be, because I think Law is totally the same type of guy who would push people away for their own sake.

(Still, the next time they meet, Law might need to apologize to Chopper, hehe. After all he must know by now that Chopper's rumble balls literally saved his life)

That's it about Chopper, but let's go back to Law for a moment. Where did he get his habit of saying "shut up"? He did not have it as a kid... well. I think the novel gives us the answer indirectly to that (no spoilers, just two short quotes):

Wonder no more, it seems he learned that from Wolf, lol. Quite fitting because Wolf taught him how to be a responsible leader/captain as well :) Wolf loved those kids, like we can see from his goodbye scene. He kept telling them "shut up" mostly because he was embarrassed and also because he didn't want to get too attached to them at first (he had some poor experiences in his life before), and he wasn't used to have people around his house all the time, living together, sharing meals etc. Last time he had it, he lost it and he became quite bitter as the result. But spending time with Law, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi changed him a bit, to the point he could tell them that heartfelt goodbye instead of harsh words.

Now, is it just a habit Law picked up from him? Or is there something more to it? For starters, he doesn't really say "shut up" to anyone besides Chopper (and once to Luffy in One Piece Red, but there is sounds almost affectionate lol). Not to Usopp who is panicking (even if it slightly irritates Law), not even to Luffy who is always noisy (he does call him idiot though, but it's always deserved lol). But he does say it to his lovely Heart Pirates when they kept nagging him about going to the New World and he tells them "to stop yapping, shut up and follow his lead". And we know how much Law loves his Hearts. If Chopper deserved to be said to "shut up" then it already shows Law puts him in same category as his Hearts and thinks fondly of him. Just like Wolf was fond of his "stupid brats" he constantly shouted at to shut up.

One last thing, because context matters a lot as well. It's possible that Law said that to Chopper in that moment because he was afraid to get too attached to the Strawhats. Is it stretching it too far? I will let you all decide that for yourselves :D

[alacants]

hi! just wanted to say that i was recently looking for lore on the ferru ferri relationship so ur lore post is perfect timing and *chefs kiss* 🤌 i fully support ur unhingedness about them bc i'm getting there too LOL i would love to know more about the facts/lore/thoughts u have on them if u'd like to share ! :D

i actually need to thank you because it was the tags on one of your rbs + talking with another mutual that pushed me to finally finish and post. so thank you!! …and sorry for what's about to happen here. would i like to share more thoughts, YES I WOULD.

(eta: this thing is LONGER than the original and also significantly more unhinged. so like… fair warning.)

first of all here are an assortment of facts/links/quotes that didn't make the final lorepost cut:

about all those times ferru drops by the academy: for example, this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this.

then there is this classic roland garros 2011 "choose a player" questionnaire. ferru picked juanki for THREE separate answers: who would you share a nice bottle of wine with, who would you open a bar with, and—wait for it—who would you hit on girls with. 

i mean, i get it. juanki's looks are ideal bait. i see it happen every day on tumblr dot com. but a truly unfortunate number of scenarios do immediately unroll before the mind's eye.

david ferrer's official 2004 atp media biography included "says his most inspirational player is countryman juan carlos ferrero"

juanki's official atp tour dot com bio includes this typically restrained ferru testimonial: "He was and is my best friend on the tour. He's a person that is very close to me... He’s a very humble and noble person." elsewhere: "He's an even better person than he is a player, which is very difficult."

(juanki's bio is a wholeass novella and ferru's is THE most bare bones bullet points. ferru stop being so fucking modest challenge!!)

juanki used to visit javea to play football with ferru and his hometown friends. ferru are you making your girlfriend hang out with your friendsgroup.

select topics from the david ferrer official forums: "stayed with juan carlos before leaving for the davis cup." (juanki himself was not called up.) "went to a nice restaurant with juan carlos and had paella." "spending new year's eve at juan carlos' hotel."

according to juanki's blog they would watch world cup matches together at ferru's house?? cute.

especially cute since juanki is a real madrid fan and ferru is a barcelona fan. (although he's more outspoken about supporting valencia cf.) here is an amazing photo of a clasico watch party in the cincy locker room.

honestly this is just some sponsor promo content but i am dying to know what the inside joke at 1:15 is about. what are you smiling about juan carlos. why is ferru trying not to laugh. answer me.

ok easy stuff out of the way. i'm just going to warn you in advance that there are a cool 3000 words under the cut so uh... brace yourself i guess. don't open on mobile. topics include: 

some Narratives

thoughts on the dynamic (past)

101 reasons to love david ferrer

behind the music: juan carlos ferrero

thoughts on the dynamic (present)

i didn't link more than a few quotes but if you want sources for anything in particular just drop me a reply or an ask.

finally, in addition to Facts and Anecdotes this includes what is by definition rampant speculation because i don't know these guys and never will. we cannot fully know public figures, we are making the shadows on the wall of plato's cave kiss, you know the drill.

the Narratives

first of all. the opposite narratives of their careers are soooooooooo compelling to me. like, juanki was a child prodigy—junior world champion, junior roland garros finalist, bursting onto the pro scene age 19 and winning his first title just a month later. then clinching spain's first davis cup, roland garros sf-sf-final-title, us open final, world number one. all by age 23! expectations were through the ROOF.

…and then 2004 hit and he fell off a cliff and never recovered. (injury, mentality, and incredible bad luck, like oh this man is CURSED cursed. he missed multiple tournaments because of chicken pox.) in september 2003 he was world no. 1; 17 months later he was no. 98.  he never did make it back into the top ten.

meanwhile, ferru was—i mean obviously he was talented. he won stuff in juniors. but no one was talking about him as the future of spanish tennis, yk? he even quit when he was 17… for a week. (lol.) he was inconsistent, vulnerable to meltdowns. he first appeared on most people's radars when he beat agassi in rome in 2003, but then not again until a brief spike in 2007—made the USO semis, made the master's cup final, world no. 5. and then he, too, slumped.

but he did not give up. ever.

he climbed out of the slump and just kept climbing up, and up, and up. the best year of his career was 2012-2013, age thirty—seven titles, masters title, roland garros final, world no. 3. the second-best was 2015, age thirty-two. top 10 for 292 straight weeks, 2010-2016. ferru is like. the ultimate proof of how dogged persistence pays off if you just. keep. trying. ← wow tumblr user alacants is he your favorite or something.

the arcs intersect in ~2008-2010, when they were especially joined at the hip. they're both struggling—juanki dropped out of the top 100 for the first time, ferru's treading water in the low teens and saying he'll never reach the heights of 2007 again—and both right on the verge of a revival. juanki won his first title in 5+ years in 2009, kickstarting an 18 month last-gasp renaissance that included davis cup hero, more titles, more finals, as high as no. 14. for a few weeks. ferru slowly and surely got his feet back under him. (he calls the dc 09 final a turning point.) around those back-to-back finals in 2010, they were hovering right around the same rank—juanki even jumped ahead a couple places. and then juanki's body finally called it quits, and ferru started to really take off. 

so that window is probably the peak of the pre-retirement dynamic. what IS that dynamic, you ask? great question.

the dynamic (past)

first i must note that although i myself led the lore post with the quotes about how they've been friends forever, something i find super cute/funny is that there seems to be an element of historical revisionism at work there? like, ferru didn't come to the academy until he was 17 (1999, the year juanki went pro), and their hometowns aren't THAT close. and ferru spent a couple years in barcelona as well. so although they clearly knew each other from an early age, it's unlikely that they were like. besties. but if you ask them, it's oh yeah we've been friends foreverrrr.

anyway. dynamics, 2002-2012:

mutual security blanket

introvert (situational) 4 introvert (intrinsic)

senpai/kouhai

chronic patient/emotional support rescue dog

fighter/sacrifice

king/lionheart, where the king was overthrown 10 years ago and now they're living in exile and the loyal retainer is earning their keep by the sword—

what do i mean by 90% of this—ok, first, web 1.0 tangent: beginning relatively early in ferru's career there was a fan forum on his official website. ferrru, who in those days was blatantly uncomfortable with the fan/star dynamic, immediately set about trying to like. befriend everyone on it. no fans here, we're all just friends! he would post regular life updates and then hang around in the thread just. chatting. he would remember details like where posters lived and who their other faves were and TEASE them about it. he hosted a christmas dinner in his hometown for anyone who wanted to make the trip. this is obviously unsustainable past a certain point of success but while it lasted it was just. so charming.

so ferru took his self-appointed role as juanki handler very seriously. like, i joke about "xx news and publicity bureau," but ferru really was. he would regularly post updates about juanki's health and recovery progress. he would answer questions. juanki's fans would come to ferru for updates!! couple this with the comments about how they tried to enter the same tournaments and generally traveled together/stayed in the same hotels, along with juanki's incredible run of illness and injury, and it's just like. ferru is juanki's designated spokesperson, his interface with the cold cruel world, his shield arm/support animal.

mutually supportive, but also: ferru clearly gets a lot of validation out of doing things for other people. he is always describing himself in terms such as, "i'm nothing special, i just try to be a really good friend." this is an acts of service guy all the way down.

(you ARE special, ferru, listen to me and juan carlos—)

i do think it was an evolution—ferru especially credits juanki with supporting him in the early days on tour. so i see it as like... friendly face showing the new kid the ropes, giving him advice, and then suddenly they're pulling even, and then even more suddenly ferru is the one equipped to provide the support.

introvert (situational): namely, juanki describes himself as shy, but he loves being the center of attention. he doesn't act out to get it but he very much enjoys it when it comes. (early quote re: what he likes about tennis: "all the people cheering for me in the big stadiums.") (it's also worth noting that he was the youngest child and the much-anticipated only son. lmao.) at the same time the media describe him as reserved, and he visibly dislikes talking about personal stuff. direct quote: "you can see how uncomfortable he is talking about his family…" 

so at first the press calls him "the monk of villena", he lives in the middle of nowhere, his lifestyle isn't flashy*, he's so humble, wow. but alllllso he loves fast cars and throwing parties at his hotel. he befriends other famous spanish athletes like sergio garcia and sete gibernau. and there are some wiiiiiiiiiild pictures from players' parties through the years. 

(*the contemporary gossip was also that maybe he was out having a little more fun than he let on, lol.)

so maybe it's accurate to say he's doesn't like being out of his depth? doesn't like unfamiliar situations. but like—i have seen the records and they do not lie. juan carlos looooves being—sorry—doted upon.

(this btw is why someone dedicating their tournament victory to him in front of god and the city of valencia and everyone was probably what you could call an effective tactic.) 

meanwhile ferru's favorite hobby is READING. he is famous for always having a book in the locker room. "i can get through 3 books in a 2 week tournament and i keep every book i read." (← man who ebooks were invented for.) his idea of a perfect day is going to the beach in his hometown ("the best beach in the world") with his family and his friends and then having paella. he's a cat person. he's perfect? SORRY. I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE NORMAL. anyway genuinely think this is the person you would find in the corner at a party befriending the host's cat.

—ok fuck normal i need to talk about ferru some more.

some very normal thoughts about david ferrer

as a player ferru had uhhhhh well maybe it was an inferiority complex or maybe it was a self-defense strategy playing in the big four era or maybe he was just unbelievably hard on himself. but for a long time he was out there saying stuff like, i'm the worst player in the top hundred. i'm the worst player in the top ten.

the thing is. it's impossible to talk about ferru without bringing up the closet story. you can read it here. c. 2007 this was reported as like, a humorous character-building anecdote????? because ferru brushed it off ("once in there i didn't think much" <- bad sign!!!) and said things like "i learned everything from him, about tennis and how to be a person." ok ferru, but what if you learned the wrong things. 

i mean, what do i know. i don't know any of these people, i'm (mostly) not here to pseudo-psychoanalyze. i just don't think it's UNrelated that ferru explicitly compared their eventual coaching split to a breakup and later implied that he should have cut the cord earlier but couldn't bring himself to do it. or that afterwards he started going to therapy, "personal, not sport," and says he wishes he'd started when he was 20. 

he stayed with that coach until he was 31 btw. there is loyal and then there is whatever the hell this is.

how do you reconcile this with today's happy and well-adjusted davis cup captain? many possibilities, such as his very own family (they're so cute, they are so cute) and 20 years of personal growth. also probably the therapy. and tbf by the end of the career he'd already gotten a lot better about the self-deprecation. but he still has a worldview that is uh refreshing verging on eye-watering. he's repeatedly said that being a professional athlete doesn't make you particularly special or interesting. asked whether as a known reader he's thinking about writing a memoir: "I'm not that important and I don’t believe I can contribute that much to the society… there are so many people that can contribute much more." ← ferru STOP.

(speaking of the adorable family: although this post is mainly about silly shipping nonsense and not irl romantic relationships i DO think it's instructive that ferru appears to have dated exactly two (2) women in the entirety of his adult life. one gf age 17-26, one age 27-present. this man's natural mode is Devotion.)

anyway my main point here is that it probably felt real good to have someone on tour in his corner. someone who hadn't ever locked him in a closet.

(there is a lot more to unpack about ferru but if you're sitting here like "but what about uso 2008" or whatever trust me it's solely for the sake of not making this insanely long post EVEN LONGER and i am happy to share my thoughts upon request lol.)

some very normal thoughts about juan carlos ferrero 

IN CONTRAST... one of the funniest things about revisiting old press is constantly hearing juan carlos ferrero described as "humble" when my man has a VERY healthy opinion of himself. this isn't a bad thing. it's arguably better than calling yourself the worst player in the top one hundred. it is however a problem when the person you feel threatened by is. rafa nadal. 

i initially had an 800 word tangent here that has now been exiled to its own post. the short version of this is juanki got dropped in favor of rafa in the 2004 davis cup final and never forgot it, lol. a number of other perceived sins were committed including 1) rome 2008 media coverage 2) dc 2009 president's speech 3) valencia open 2013, how dare rafa spurn juanki's beloved child tournament. but really it was that rafa became who juanki was supposed to be. :(

juanki's got a lot of pride! another example: madrid master's 2008. yet again juanki is in bad shape. at no. 44 he just missed the main draw. so he asked for a wild card… and didn't get one. that was genuinely an insult considering he was the 2003 champion and that wc #3 went to (consults notes) fabio fognini, ranked 73. the spanish sports media were up in arms. juanki said he was so insulted that even if they offered him a spot he wouldn't take it.

…so when carlos moya pulled out they didn't waste their time. "he said he didn't want it so we gave it to someone else." oh, juanki.

(ferru's measured thoughts on this decision btw: "The absence of Juan Carlos Ferrero is outrageous and insane. This only happens in Spain. It's a huge tragedy and, above all, an injustice for a player like him, who's been number one in the world and previously won this tournament.")

so, juanki: proud, outspoken when he's angry, reserved when he's not. to the extent that when he started saying ferru was his best friend on circuit his fans were like wait. what. this is brand-new information. 

you will notice that throughout this post there are a Lot of heart-on-sleeve quotes from ferru, and fewer from juanki. what happens is that when you don't talk about your feelings, they explode without warning in Grand Gestures. juanki LOVES a Grand Gesture. ferrufest 2k19 is the most notable but far from only instance, see also organizing special surprises at their special tournament. (the open letter is somewhere in the middle, i would be fascinated to know if he would have been that forthcoming if asked point blank. i mean, maybe so!!!! personal growth!!!)

sidenote, but imo you can see the exact same dichotomy at work with juanki and carlos, where he goes out of his way to reject the we're-like-family premise and then acts the exact opposite. ("i leave the father thing to his actual father." ok juan carlos.) he used to do the same thing wrt his own coach since childhood, "i wouldn't call him a father figure, that would be weird…" this is how you end up naming things after people and bursting into tears in public! ← the fact that he's a capital-c Crier makes it even more obvious.

you will ALSO notice that despite that 7-2 h2h juanki sure never had any problem with ferru. lol. the appeal presumably goes without saying of a friend who is shouldering his way in among the ~big four and STILL out here in the year of our lord 2009 saying things like, “[Ferrero] is one of the best players in history on clay… I think he can win Roland Garros again. Nadal and Federer will be there but Juan Carlos will be right there behind them. Why not?"

(fwiw i think all of this is very like… normal and human. it's why it's so fun to put him under a microscope.)

and what is also true is that no matter how much you think juanki's life is the academy, it's more than that. he is the academy. like it was founded specifically for him (well, his cohort of young players, of which he was far and away the most promising), and his coach included him in conversations about the Vision and the long-term goals from day one. he lived there with a ROOMMATE for years and years after going pro, despite owning like… a nice house in the city of valencia. (← maybe also a reason he didn't get married until well after retirement lmao.) so when he starts naming parts of the academy after you... it's a Big Deal.

—incidentally it must be comforting to have a ready-made identity on hand when "generational spanish tennis talent" turns out to go. not the way you thought it would.

hm not doing a great job avoiding the pseudo-psychoanalysis, am i. well. i tried.

thoughts on the dynamic (present)

dynamics, 2024:

will-they-won't-they x 20 years

(life) partners

✨✨✨ co-parents ✨✨✨

that one is so overwhelmingly dominant it sort of overshadows everything else. lmao.

king/lionheart STILL only now the one-time king has returned from exile to be an advisor to the new prince—

tbh now that they are both retired and both have their own families they are a little less codependent. normal best friends, i almost said, before remembering the fucking portrait commission. do you think that's hanging up in ferru's house???? i ask myself this every day.

what do i think has changed? ferru is (wonderfully) much less self-effacing. juanki successfully reinvented himself as a top coach. after juanki retired i think they finally started to relate as… i'm not saying they weren't equals before that but maybe to some people (ferru) it didn't feel like they were. and ferru is clearly in his element as dc captain, where his job is literally to be the entire team's emotional support dog. emotional support pack leader? once again: who needs hierarchy, we're all friends here. (he gave coaching a brief shot but it didn't stick—this my personal theory as to why. based on nothing other than intuition lol.)

hm this section is suspiciously resembling "ferru: the postscript." well we all see a lot of juanki, he's doing great lol. if anything i think having ferru around is good for him, keeps him from getting too martyred. every time ferru and carlitos TEAM UP to tease juanki is jfkldajf;l so delightful. (to modestly quote my own tag, "just two dogs yapping at their favorite cat.")

but shipping nonsense aside: i genuinely think it is really lovely and heart-warming to see two people who clearly mean so much to each other and are still such a big part of each other's lives after so long—even/especially despite the changes. some people grow apart. some people grow together. :)

and if you want to throw in twenty years of pining SO MUCH THE BETTER

--

christ that is. so much text. uhhhh hopefully this was informative/entertaining/morbidly fascinating, and everyone who reads it will feel mysteriously compelled to start including ferruero subplots in their sincaraz fic. :D?? :D????

you have SO many options. practically married. one-sided pining for many years. (whooo in this post sounds like they would do that.) MUTUAL pining for many years. practically married but haven't realized it. tour arrangement but they caught feelings. second-chance romance years after a youthful failed fling. the parent trap, starring carlitos alcaraz— [curtain falls as i am forcibly dragged from the stage]

[basiltonpitch]

Devi vs. David: aka a comprehensive list of every single time ben gross has referred to devi as one or the other (season four edition)

HERE IT IS!!! the final edition of devi vs. david!!! if you're new here and haven't checked out any of my other devi vs. david deep dives, please feel free to check them out here: season 1, season 2, season 3. you can also find all of my devi vs. david ramblings here. and as i've said again and again and again, this is a list of every single time ben refers to her as either devi or david, this time in season 4, with context + insight + my own lil insane thoughts, because i'm 100% totally normal when it comes to this topic (they said, like a liar).

heads up, not all of the netflix captions are accurate, or the whole quote wasn't all in one frame, so if the font looks different in any of the following screencaps, it's because i captioned them myself.

i already noted in previous analyses, as well as in this post, that ben tends to go for “david” during their rivalry and their friensdhip, as opposed to when they’re estranged/fighting etc and when they're in more...well, romantic situations, he defaults to “devi.” i’ll go a little more into this towards the end, but it’s just something i’d like to bring to your attention before i get started.

anyways, here we go!

hmm remember when i predicted we would get a “devi” first this season because of the months of distance and miscommunication? and when i thought it would happen immediately after devi sees margot kiss ben? i may not have had all the details right, but i saw this coming from a mile away. and this also fits into the pattern i thought was going to be established: season 1 we get “david” first, season 2 we get “devi,” season 3 “david” and now in season 4 they’re finishing the pattern with another “devi.” they’re in wildly different places in their relationship in each of these instances, which i go more in detail about in this post where i predicted that we would get a “devi” first this season.

anyways. this use of “devi” has me hurting for both of them. they’ve got this - this chasm of months of distance, of zero contact, of miscommunication and misread feelings and misrepresented actions (“he was clearly embarrassed for me.” vs “it was so clear she that thought it sucked. she got up and sprinted out.” i love my two unreliable narrators devi vishwakumar and ben gross!!). i’m having a lot of thoughts about devi’s intentions here that i…probably won’t go into further detail about, lol, because this post is about ben. so. of course he reverts to “devi” here - they aren’t friends, right now. they aren’t really rivals right now, either - i mean, they always will be, of course, but that’s not the focal point of their relationship here. they’re talking for the first time after three months of radio silence, of ben creating this rift between them because of some bullshit advice after misrepresenting what happened (okay like. i’m not here to hate on ben - i just. it’s his fault. it’s literally his fault). he can’t call her “david” because, as i’ve said before, “david” has turned fond. they aren’t friends, they aren’t rivals, they aren’t lovers. so, “devi.”

(didn't include the first "devi" he says to get her attention in this scene, sorry.)

okay this is. basically bouncing off the last one - he can’t call her “david.” they aren’t close enough for that, not right now - they won’t be for some time this season. but he’s also trying to set the tone of the conversation, a more mature version of the one they had in the beginning of the episode. and i do applaud him for this, for owning up to all of this being his fault, too (which. i don’t think all of it was, honestly - there is blame to be placed on devi and on margot over what happened this episode, but the 3 months of no contact? ben’s fault, 100%). big props to him for apologizing. however still a little salty about him internalizing those words from mr. basketball player all those months ago, because dude did not have all the info when he gave ben that advice. but to be fair - ben is a seventeen year old with low social skills (not faulting him for that because like. same) so i sympathize with him a bit there. overall, based on where they are in their relationship in 4x01, i was really pleased with how this convo turned out especially since the spoilers we were given from the premiere made it look so much worse than it really is.

hm. remember how that last convo of theirs was pretty mature and low-conflict. yeah then they give us this. ben’s…exasperated. within reason, i think - and to be clear i don’t think devi’s really in the wrong here, it’s just…he chose to be with margot because he thought it was the easier route. he distanced himself from devi because he thought it would be easier. but it’s not. of course it’s not - he and devi both still have all these messy feelings for each other that they’ve been pushing down and suppressing and denying. and it’s tiring. being around devi while he’s “““moving on””” is tiring. being sucked into drama over and over is tiring. he wants - or thinks he wants- something calm, and easy. -and like. it would be fuckign easy if y’all just got your shit together and admitted your feelings but that comes later so we’re moving on for now-

okay so. as i’ve said in my previous posts, it doesn’t make sense for him to refer to her as “david” to other people when she’s not around, so we’re not going to explain why he said “devi” here - that’s a given. but this whole scene…he kinda let devi get into his head before talking to margot. like, from the characters’ point of view, not ours, it definitely seems like margot had the most motive to deface her car. i mean ben straight up says, “you did have a good reason, so i could understand why you might.” and this isn’t me digging at devi for thinking margot did it, or ben for second-guessing margot, or anything like that - it’s just like. objectively. it does seem like margot could have done it. so i get where ben’s coming from.

okay so…we know that that is. false. a lie. an untruth. et cetera. bouncing back to the first instance of “devi” in 4x02, this, once again, makes me think that ben is just…trying to make things easier, calmer. he doesn’t want to deal with devi’s drama right now (again, not dissing devi, just explaining his pov). interrupting her with, “listen, devi,'' to get her attention, to shut her up because he just…can’t do this right now. he’s conflicted - he cares about devi so deeply that it’s detrimental to him at times, and after the events of 4x01 and 4x02, he thinks the best thing to help him keep “““moving on””” (bc like. i’ve touched on this before but there is no moving on for him when it comes to devi) is to go back to silence and estrangement. back to how they were over the summer. back to how they were in those few episodes of season 2, even, just with less vitriol. so, “devi” to further that distance - earlier in the episode, he says, “we are friends,” but here, he’s all but saying, we can’t be friends, not anymore. not now. maybe not ever again.

following this up with:

the thing is…he does look sorry. he doesn’t want to lose her again. it hurts her, yes, but it also hurts him. but like i said - this is easier for him, for right now at least.

oooh this brings me back to 2x08, “devi, you’re daisy.” ben, currently dating a girl that’s not devi, while still having all these complicated feelings for her, relating her to the material they’re currently studying, after she almost became the reason said girlfriend had to leave sherman oaks (temporarily for margot, of course, but still) - it’s not an exact copy/paste, obv, but i’m loving the parallel. also brings me back to 1x02, “it’s okay, devi. i know how hard it is to memorize seven facts,” the same tone being used then as it is now - although with different intentions, of course. ben is - bitter, i would say. of course he is. this whole situation is just…really reminiscent of that 2x05 to 2x07 arc, although with a bit less anger - they’ve got not just their rivalry and (currently, failed) romance behind them, but also those months of real friendship they had during season 3. there’s even more history between them to contend with now, which makes it harder for him to be angry with her. he still is - just not to the same extent as the s2 aneesa situation. 

remember when i said ben stopped talking to her to make it easier? yeah. i honestly totally forgot he says exactly that until i got to this scene while writing this out. “it’s just easier this way. she just always complicates things.” just - ouch, ouch, ouch. this is just me reiterating everything i’ve already said, i guess. does he want to push devi away right now? no, i don’t think so. but it makes things less complicated for him. devi is messy, yes, they’ve established that well over all four seasons - but this isn’t really about how messy devi is, is it? he tells margot that it’s because of devi, and it is, partially, but it’s also because of him. because he and devi clash. because he and devi mesh. because, at least right now, it is so hard for him to separate all these things he feels - angry and disappointed, yes, but there’s this - wistful, i want to say, feeling there under all of that, this pull he’s always going to feel with her. and he’s not in a place where he can let that go unless he cuts her off.

god i do feel for ben here. i wish they had brought back some of the stuff from last season with him…chilling out more when it comes to academics and all that, but like, this is ben gross we’re talking about here - one intestinal blockage and heartfelt convo with his dad isn’t going to erase over a decade of self-set high expectations. dude is stressed, literally sweating through his clothes and now he looks like someone squirted a bottle of french’s on him.

and amongst all this, comes the last person he wants to talk to right now - he smells like sweat and acrylic paint and he just had his girlfriend judge the spiel he’s probably recited in the mirror a hundred times (which like, in all fairness to margot, it did feel like a bowflex commercial). and now here’s devi, all calm and collected with her power blazer and bouncy high pony - looking like the opposite of what ben’s feeling. he’s already frustrated, and her showing up makes it that much worse - until approximately two seconds later when she saves his women’s medium sized ass.

episode 5’s you never disappoint do you. i love, love, love this conversation between ben and devi - this vulnerability here, the way they tell each other that they’ll be okay, that yes, this is scary. our lives are about to change forever - but you’ll make it through. you’ll survive. you’ll thrive. 

and this line…this so much. ben knows who devi is, has been in proximity to her for twelve years at this point, as a rival, as a friend, even as a lover for a short stint - and he knows her, and he knows that she knows herself. maybe - no, definitely - she didn’t know who she was before, drowning in fresh grief, but she’s grown, she’s healed (not completely, but she has healed nonetheless), and ben has had a front row seat to that. he has watched from up close as she became the person she is now. he believes in her, and he knows she can believe in herself, too.

i promise i’m feeling so totally normal about this…remember when i said i thought the first “david” would be at the end of 4x05 during reconciliation? i do, and, surprise surprise - i was right, because ben gross is nothing if not consistent (most of the time, at least). this “david” is driving me insane. they just had this heartfelt discussion about their fears with going to college, reassuring each other that they’ll be okay, fucking…pep talking each other, because they know each other better than they know anyone else, and ben drops a “david” like it’s nothing. like it’s easy. like he means it!!! i’ve said so many times that “david” has turned into this term of endearment almost exclusively used during their friendship, with ben avoiding using it when they’re not friends, and after last episode, where it had been verbally established (by devi, at least), that they still aren’t friends…now he slips a “david” in. this is the closest, the most vulnerable, they’ve been with each other in months. this is ben taking that step to pull them even closer - ben feeling safe enough to do so. this is ben saying, “i can be your friend,” thirty seconds before he actually utters those words.

okay full disclosure, “david” isn’t in the official captions on this one, so like, idk if jaren decided to add this day of filming or what - but whatever. that doesn’t matter here. what does matter is this absolute effortless slide back into their friendship. ben going out of his way to approach her, to tell her the good news (well. it’s not really good news for devi but like. he doesn’t know that, so). he’s excited for her!!! he gives her this boost of confidence (and yes i know it doesn’t last long, what with the deferral email coming in that day but. still.)

ooooh the way i love this scene!!! the fact that we get to see this interaction through paxton’s eyes is just delightful to me. like, okay, i’m not a “he’s mean to you so he likes you!!” kind of person, but banter like this coming about while they’re actively friends and post-bargot (bengot? ragross? ykwim) breakup…it’s thinly veiled flirting, and idk if we would have been given that perspective if this scene had been shot from devi’s pov, or ben’s. while this isn’t the first taste of mutual banter we’ve got all season (looking at you, 4x04 bathroom scene), this is the first friendly mutual banter, and god we were starving for it - at least i know i was. there’s bite behind their words, but it’s playful for both of them!! but like - then there’s the shot of them both immediately fixing their appearance after they’re no longer in each other’s line of sight (ben tucking in his necklace, devi taking off her cardigan) and i just. ooooh my god i love it. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again - peak crush behavior. and ben isn’t even posturing for paxton here like he would have before, thanks to the literal shitstorm of 3x06 - ben’s only…well, acting up, i guess i would say, for devi. not anyone else. 

(and like this is totally unrelated but god do i wish we got more bexton interactions this season, but oh well.)

hi yeah no i’m still not over this scene. it’s. so unapologetically horny and it’s a side of ben i’m honestly so glad we got to see. like, okay, we already know he messed around a little with shira, had (bad) sex with devi, and is canonically a boob guy, but this more in-depth peek at his desires (cough cough degradation kink cough cough) is just…chef’s kiss. yes this is devi’s show first and foremost but god do i love the looks into ben’s brain we get. and this - this desire for devi, this want for her, something he can’t run from in his subconscious no matter how hard he runs from it in his waking hours - yes, it’s a wet dream, but it’s more than that. trent says it: “...you really love her.”  ben loves her. he can’t get her out of his head. he wants her - physically and emotionally.

let’s, for now, ignore that this is moments before disaster. god, the look on his face, this eager, hopeful smile, the fucking bouquet he brought for her. he’s riding the high (ha, get it) of trent’s earnest pep talk, ready, for the first out of multiple times this season, to tell her he wants her. he’s done denying it, to himself and now to her, too (which. the latter obviously doesn’t really happen for another few months - but that’s beside the point).

this instance is pretty self-explanatory from ben’s pov (i mean, that’s what y’all are here for). checking in that she’s okay after seeing her throw up, congratulating her, etc. not spending too much time on this one - just noting the, once again, effortless slip back into “david” after the events of last episode. not saying there’s not some inner turmoil going on for him regarding his feelings for her; even though we can’t see it, it’s still there - but birthdaygate (as nalini called it) was…a disaster, to put it lightly, so. back to “david” it is…for now, at least.

god this followed immediately by the “is she okay?” and then ben rushing off to go check in on her…i’ll touch on this more in the next instance, but like. he’s truly the only one who gets how much this would hurt. not saying that no one else understands how devi feels, but he’s the only one who would really, truly get it if the same happened to him. just - the wondering how she didn’t get in anywhere, because she’s just as smart as (and, technically as 4x10 proves with that valedictorian sash, smarter than) him.  the immediate concern for her, the need to check in...god, he cares for her so much.

“But you’re not a quitter.” bringing back the “no one knows them better than they know each other” thing - because it’s true. no one knows devi better than ben knows her. he knows what she’s capable of - has been on the opposing side of it for over a decade. he has won against her, lost against her, won with her, lost with her…he’s seen her rise and fall and pick herself back up to rise again. he understands her, and he understands why this is so painful for her - if it were him, it would feel like twelve years of hard work, of early mornings following sleepless nights, of flash cards and meticulous notes and extra credit projects, all being flushed down the drain. he gets it, gets her. this being the first use of “devi” (to her, and not in a dream sequence) since 4x05 - he uses it to set the tone, to get her attention, to get her to listen to him. because he knows she doesn’t really want to give up. and he as much as says that: “but if you don’t try everything that you can, you’re gonna regret it.” she already knows this - there’s no doubt in my mind about that, and there’s no doubt that ben knows that she knows this. she just needed to hear it from the one person who understands - and it worked. she does try - and, as we see in 4x10, she succeeds.

this…this is the biggest break in his pattern when it comes to “devi” vs “david.” he never refers to her as “david” with a - romantic isn’t the exact word i’m looking for, but it’s the one we’re gonna use - romantic intention. i think he’s using “david” here to sort of…ease the tension, so to say? to lighten the mood a bit. he wants to tell her - has wanted to since trent told him to speak his truth, likely longer than that. but after birthdaygate - he doesn’t want to show too much of his hand. “maybe i was wrong, david.” not “i was wrong, devi.” 

feeling especially attached to this use of “david” tbh. the excitement he feels for her, immediately rushing to pull her into a hug, how proud he is of her, especially after the events of the last episode. again, he knows how hard she’s worked for this, and he knows what it’s like to feel all of that hard work pay off. she’s not alone in feeling this satisfaction - he’s feeling it with her.

 i loved, loved all the callbacks to the previous seasons, and this is no exception. the addition of “david” here brings me back to this post by @catty-words that i’m still thinking about almost two years later (and have referenced in 2 out of 3 of these analyses): “it’s a relic from their rivalry.” obviously cori goes into it a bit differently in that post because it’s about their season 2 arc, but to re-work that line here: the equatorial guinea nametag (i would say plaque but like. it’s a piece of paper) is a memento of their first time teaming up, but it is also a relic of their rivalry in a way - the initial anger of devi infiltrating his club, the temporary alliance that was struck down just hours later, the nuclear attack. and so, yes, “david” here is used as that mark of friendship, as i’ve referred to it before, and so is the nametag, but they’re also both a representation of their enmity - albeit in a much more playful way than the "david" from 2x05.

i’m going to refer you to the genius of rae @ice-sculptures real quick, who had this to say in regards to ben’s patterns when it comes to what he calls her: “it could be that he “hides” behind david when the lines of their relationship are blurred and uses it as a way to convey the affection that he doesn’t think he can openly express. but when they actually get together he doesn’t need to hide anymore bc he knows that she’s aware of how much he loves her…so devi is enough.”

y’all. devi is enough. he doesn’t need to use a term of endearment, a pet name, with her here. he doesn’t need to hide behind “david.” and like. just in case you aren’t aware - “david” means “beloved” in hebrew. i’m sure ben’s aware of that - he’s a giant nerd, and he’s jewish - it never gets established in canon, so it may just be something we’re all collectively reading into, but like. i’m obviously going to continue reading into it - he doesn’t have to hide behind “beloved” anymore, he doesn’t have to use this roundabout way to tell her how he feels - he can just say it. and he says it without even knowing if she feels the same way. he’s following trent’s advice from 4x08: “you must go to her. [...] you must tell her how you feel. there's no time to waste. [...] you must speak your truth. she needs to know." he flies to her on a whim to tell her he likes her. actually, he thinks he loves her, “devi.” he loves her. this is the bravest thing he’s done - he doesn’t know how she feels, doesn’t know if she loves him back - but he tells her anyways. he can’t wait. it doesn’t matter that she’s flying to the east coast the next day, where she’ll be a two hour and six minute train ride away. he has to tell her now. there’s no time to waste. she needs to know.

god. i just - i love that they already had this - this whole soft, sweet love confession, full of shy, gentle smiles and giggles, followed by The Big Damn Kiss of All Time (and like. the big damn bang of all time) and he still feels the need to tell her that he wants to be with her. that he wants to start this next chapter of life with her. and there’s just…something so important to me about them not being high school sweethearts. about them not really giving this an actual shot until they’re headed to college. he doesn’t want “let’s kiss at our lockers in between periods and sit next to each other in the cafeteria while we eat gloopy square-shaped pizza.” he wants “let’s fall asleep on facetime during exam season. let’s spend one weekend in new york and the next in new jersey. let’s meet in the middle. let’s cram ourselves onto a twin-sized dorm room bed that’s definitely not made for two people. let’s learn how to be adults together. let’s give this a real try. let’s give us a real try.”

and so they do.

and with that...we're done. if you've reached the end, thank you for reading! i'm so sad that this series of posts has come to an end, but i've had an absolute delight doing these, and i'm so pleased with the ending of this show - because it didn't feel like an ending. it felt like a new beginning. i'm going to miss never have i ever (i already do), but i'm so happy to have spent the past few years yelling about it with all of you - and i'll likely continue yelling about it in the near future.

[mikuni14]

The Sign - Ep 7

First of all, as always, I will officially ignore all the cop stuff, the doctor discussing his patient's condition and giving his data without a court order, how a person with a mental disorder is treated, and the meme quotes from Paulo Coelho 🙃 (It's interesting that the Dr. Chewconcretemotherfucker treated both art Art and Tharn 🤔)

It never ceases to amaze me how much Phaya has NO control over his face and his behavior in Dr. ChUNT's presence lmao. And how all Tharn gives him is basic politeness, and how it must be apparent to anyone interested (including Dr. Changinghisnameisapublicservice) that Tharn, his heart, and his body belong to someone else. So what exactly is he trying to achieve? The only thing left for him is to actually end this relationship in a drastic way… "So don't worry, I will see him to his bed" I bet your ass that you will Phaya! 😆 I'm 100% sure the only thing your bird brain registered is "I" and "Tharn" and "bed" 👍

Somehow, in this episode, Tharn was able to de-escalate the situation between Phaya and Dr. Chanceyougettharniszeroyoucunt (with just one sentence), and he was also able to confess why he was the way he was (it took him one sentence as well). This is what I wanted in last episode, but what we only got now to fit the plot… *sigh*

I really liked the scene of Phaya trying to explain himself to Tharn: he's freaking out, not controlling his emotions, grabbing Tharn's hands.. and those broken sentences, grimaces on his face, visible nervousness and distress. And how Tharn is worried about what he sees (that deep crease between his eyebrows), trying to hide his worry, comforting him. Phaya's line: "Just tell me you forgive me and all these symptoms would probably go away" floored me. That's some old romance novel shit, it gets me every time! 😍

Phaya and Tharn's conversation in the archive was great, making Phaya's position on being in a relationship clear. Tharn's reaction to what Phaya says and when he asks what would he do? Really nice, as Tharn shows mostly with his eyes how much it all affects him..

I love Phaya and how persistent he is, how he doesn't give up, how he treats all obstacles to his happy relationship with Tharn as something that simply needs to be overcome and that's it 😄 That's why he follows him like a dog, uses every opportunity to be with him and creates his own opportunities. Like inviting Tharn to his nest house to disarm him with his family, food and cat and ultimately WIN him. Which of course works! Who would have guessed, Phaya actually has some game after all lmao

The scene at Phaya's house was so sweet! Tharn is so loving and gentle with the cat, immediately noticing Namami, unconsciously petting him just beacuse he is within his arm reach, which is what cat people do without thinking. I love how everyone just passed the cat between them lol

I liked Tharn having fun, being relaxed, the way Phaya shows him around his nest, the way he talks to him about himself. Tharn staring at the eagle painting…

Ohhh, and we have a perfect confession. As it should be, because Phaya is so serious when it comes to Tharn: it was long, honest, romantic without exaggeration or cringe. It's nice that Tharn didn't interrupt him and made an emotional confession himself. I'm not surprised that Tharn gave in because everything had been building up to this point. The way he saw Phaya freaking out, the way Phaya kept pushing, the whole "love" atmosphere of their current case certainly made him think too. Tharn himself tells Phaya not to press him, suggesting that he doesn't have the strength to resist, because as Tongthai even said earlier, you can't "fall out of love." You can't just shut down your feelings and desires. And Tharn FEELS it and oh god how much he wants it. And what I think convinced him was that Phaya didn't dismiss his worries with the traditional "don't worry" or "everything will be fine" or worse, "you're exaggerating, it's just a delusion." No, Phaya took his fears upon himself, saying that HE would try not to leave THARN, taking the burden of keeping Phaya alive off Tharn's shoulders. "I'll do whatever it takes so that you won't be sad or lose me", because his life is his responsibility, not Tharn's. What Phaya did was notice Tharn's worry, recognize it, take it upon himself, and let Tharn relax. That's why I'm not surprised that Tharn allowed himself a moment of happiness, to reach for what he wants. Perhaps it's a moment of weakness that he will regret later, but come on, Tharn is not made of steel! He's just a cute lil' guy and he's in love and horny! 😭 Oh, but this confession had its beautiful moments: "I really want to have you by my side in every day of my life" "This is the best I can do, please don't force me" "I promise not to leave you"

Love scene: YES. I love Phaya when, before they started, he takes a deep breath, as if he's finally at peace, because this is it, he FINALLY has everything he wants, everything is right with the world. And then he just go for it. I fucking love predatory, hungry Phaya. I love the pliant Tharn, how he's almost always with his back to Phaya in an act of sweet submission and ultimate trust. Phaya had moments as if he couldn't believe that they were together and when he realized that yes, this was really happening, he became even more passionate, as if he couldn't get enough of Tharn. It was incredibly hot. There was a lot of heavy breathing, pulling on skin, tight embraces, intense caresses, hungry looks. And am I seeing things or there was a scene of Tharn nodding his consent and implication that Phaya was preparing him? 👀 Anyway, the scene was an intoxicating mix of Phaya and Tharn's fantasies: it was pretty, pink, emotional and hot.

When I finally see them together, I'm as happy as Phaya with a naked, tattooed, wet Tharn in the shower 😄💖🥳 everything is right with the world.

[mychemicalraymance]

Loved ur longlegs review!! i bet this was soooo cool texturally on 35mm esp with how they did the flashback scenes.. anyway what did you notice it said about music culture and female fans? I didnt pick up on any of that but i think its so interesting.

Hi!! Thanks for inviting me to talk about it lol. (Cw for sexual assault discussion, SPOILERS for the movie)

I don't know if it's SAYING much outside of thematically connecting to things LIKE the 70s, the Manson murders and the idea of "groupies". But the thematic connections come from references and little visual clues. Obviously this movie has a story that starts in the 70s, and the 70s had a hippie/free love subculture that was connected deeply to rock and music subcultures (Woodstock etc).

The movie opens up with a T.Rex quote - a band I admittedly don't have a lot of knowledge about, but after some perusing on Wikipedia seems to have band members who are the epitome of late 60s early 70s rock stars - i.e., tumultuous and uneven relationships with women, egotistical, culturally powerful, etc. 60s and 70s free love / rock music subcultures have a notably misogynist bent to their gender dynamics, with groupies and young female fans being consumed and churned out rapidly. Also of note is that a lot of times the girlfriends /muses of rock stars are "there" in the background of moments of great import to music and pop culture, but are never remembered (i.e., how Lee's mother was the one "there" facilitating the crimes, also not unlike how a lot of young women are procured for male predators at the hands of women, historically AND now, think harvey weinstein).

Longlegs is meticulously picking out his child female victims and sending his female helper in disguise to claim them. Visually, her mother LOOKS like an ex hippie (long middle part grey hair, crochet clothing, has a VW bug, etc). Longlegs LOOKS like a deranged washed up rock star (including the bizarre botched plastic surgery and uncanny makeup, a thing I would say isn't unheard of for egotistical 70s rock stars. I can't name one right now but that's what I pulled from it). The performances recalls Charlie Manson's in-prison interviews, the tape of Longlegs in the cell is framed like some of the famous Manson interviews, the weird sing-songy shit he does sounds like glam rock to me, lol. Manson had young female desciples do his bidding, as well as being involved in LSD / hippie subcultures (Helter Skelter written on the wall, but also it's debated whether or not Manson's connection to the culture was an act of disguise rather than genuine involvement, but I digress). Longlegs' basement hideout has 70s rock star images pinned up, as well as a very haunting backstage/green room vanity.

Imagine the fallout of discovering your mother was there backstage with idk Jim Morrison and would help bring groupies back to him (don't know if this happened like that, but you get the idea), or worse yet, was a Manson girl.

This is a genuine connection, but all this subtext could just be me reading into it.

[gothicprep]

so, apparently marvel is in disarray. ahead of the marvels coming out this weekend, variety dropped a bomb on the studio's somewhat dire state of affairs, as the franchise has hit its first real rough patch since the release of iron man 15 years ago. among the issues: jonathan majors, whose domestic violence arrest continues to hang over marvel's plans to make his character the thanos-like heavy for the next sequence of movies, the weak box office projections for the marvels (which some have said is tracking lower than recent bombs like the flash), the unending flood of hashtag content on disney plus which is overwhelming audiences who are finding it harder to keep up with the interlocking stories that have served marvel so well over the years, shoddy visual effects, spiraling budgets such as the reported $25mil an episode for she-hulk, a show that looked terrible because of the shoddy effects work aforementioned, behind the scenes chaos as kevin feige works to slash budgets and kill projects that aren't coming together. one movie at risk is the forthcoming blade reboot with mahershala ali, which has gone through rewrite after rewrite including reportedly one draft in which blade was the fourth lead in, quote, "a narrative led by women and filled with life lessons".

that last line has provided a lot of laughs for people like jay gothicprep, and critics who insist that marvel's efforts to diversify the lineup have led to much of this disaster, indicative of disney's overall failure with things like indiana jones and the dial of destiny or animated projects like strange world or lightyear. while this is potentially true (i guess, it's possible) it doesn't seem true because this certainly wasn't the case when black panther and captain marvel were both cracking the billion dollar mark a few years ago. rather it just seems, more simply, that marvel has run its course. marvel was hit by a double-whammy of endings. the thanos storyline that'd dominated the first ten or so years of the project came to an end. at the same time, the pandemic began and disney plus started flooding the zone with content, creating a natural break point for audiences that had no desire to watch hours of tv to understand 1.5 plot points in whatever the next movie that's coming out is.

this preamble is getting kind of long, and i have a lot more to say, so i'm going to continue to thought dump about this under a cut.

first of all, i'm still laughing like a week later at the women led life lessons description. no one has disputed that it happened. that description is the funniest thing i've ever read in a trade industry report possibly ever. what in the hell, my friends. did a writer even talk to a producer about what blade was? it's a movie about a guy with a sword who kills vampires! it's pretty straighforward! that sounds like something i want to see! there were three of them already, and two of them were pretty good!

anyway, i think you can take that incredibly ridiculous description of a draft that maybe wasn't the main draft – this movie has been through tons of writers and directors – and see some of the real problems with marvel's creative direction, which is that they've stopped making movies that highlight the core concepts of their characters. there are other problems as well, but when's the last time they put out a movie that was like, "iron man. he's a guy in a metal suit and he fights a bad guy." or "spider man. it's a guy in a spider suit with spider powers. he's got girlfriend problems and he fights crime around manhattan and maybe there's dr octopus." they don't do that. their recent stretch of movies have all been these impenetrable multiverse stuff with ties to tv series that you haven't seen and maybe won't ever see. there was a whole 25 minute section in black panther 2 that was setting up armor wars and ironheart. and like. who needs that sequence, which was boring and looked like total garbage? and now armor wars is being redeveloped lol. they've just departed from a lot of the core concepts that powered their earlier films.

they have some other problems. they've leaned into a slate of characters that is not all that well-known or inherently super popular, even for marvel being able to deliver on making billion dollar films out of guardians of the galaxy and such. maybe with the exception of spider man, which they don't get a full cut from because sony owns the actual movie rights. then there's the fact that the streaming series, by all accounts, aren't great but you *feel* like you need to have seen them. they're all real big problems. marvel needs to go back to making movies that are named after a character who's a superhero with a clear concept. guy with spider powers fights crime in his neighborhood. even though those movies got kind of repetitive, they did well enough because they didn't stray too far from the character concept.

i think, too, as a viewer, when you have a studio churning out so much stuff that's not good, you get the impression that the superhero industry feels entitled to your time and entitled to your money while not delivering.

this summer also represents an interesting counterpoint to what's happened with marvel and dc. the sheer amount of stuff that you devote every waking minute to keeping track of the damn things got exhausting and made movies stop feeling like events. this summer we've had barbenheimer and the eras tour, and those have been both big events and felt exciting. barbie was a chance to be campy, oppenheimer was a chance to see something serious and cinematic, the eras tour was exciting for fans of taylor swift who couldn't afford to spend $3k on taylor swift. and they felt this way because they were all unlike anything you'd seen at the movies in recent years. they had a high standard of quality, and going, it genuinely felt like people were there because they wanted to be, not because they were being force marched by a cultural behemoth to be there. you can't summon that same kind of energy for a marvel movie when it both feels obligatory and you expect it to be bad.

it also feels like there's a certain contempt for the audience where it concerns quality problems. i mean, i don't think that this is the intention. marvel isn't saying "we can deliver this stuff that's garbage and people will see it anyway". but one of the things i thought was the most damning about that variety story was the fact that, on some of the marvel tv shows, the final effects were inserted after the shows were released. so if you watched the show on opening night, you probably didn't see the final effects work. the arrogance involved in that is insane. it speaks to a total vanished pride in putting out a good product.

even some of marvel's better regarded films were heavily edited and heavily worked on right until the end, in part because kevin feige would come in and fix things, so stuff would have to get reworked. that's why effects deadlines were super tight and people were always crunching at the very end of this. there was that incredible quote from sam raimi from a couple months before the second doctor strange came out where he was like, "i think it's done but i'm not sure. marvel, they work on their movies until the very end." the director didn't even know if his own movie was locked or not because he clearly wasn't the one making the decisions about what the final print would look like.

that can work if you're making two movies a year and have a supervisor that comes in during the process and says, "i need you to redo this, in this way". but when you stretch that out to three movies a year, plus god knows how many episodes of television, there's no way to do that and make it a high quality product.

an instructive lesson comes from the book "disneywar", which chronicles michael eisner's time at disney. and one of the things in this book was the development and deployment of "who wants to be a millionaire" in america. bob iger is head of abc at this time. the guys making this show do it for a week. audiences love it. it's putting up huge numbers. everybody is excited. it's crushing it in the ratings. and the people who made it wanted to keep doing special week or two week long engagements that people would show up for. and iger was like, "no. i want this every week, three times a week, forever." and audiences got burnt out on it quickly, because it was something that only really worked as a special that ran for a week and disappeared for a few months. that's what the disney plus strategy feels like with marvel.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

how does the 2022 movie shit on the novel?? (I love the 2022 movie and haven’t read the book)

Hiii so first off I wanna thank you for this ask from the bottom of my heart because this story is deeply important to me and I've been seething about it for two years straight and now I finally have an excuse to talk at length about the problem without sounding (completely) unhinged. I'd also like to clarify that I'm not mad at you or anyone else for liking this movie especially if you haven't read the book. I actually think that as a standalone film, it's pretty phenomenal. The acting, cinematography, and soundtrack are really on point. The problem isn't that it's a bad movie, it's that it's a bad and seemingly purposefully disrespectful adaptation.

So now I'll get into why (buckle up). As my followers know, War Movie Commentary is not typically the focus of this blog so uhhhh sorry y'all we'll be back to your regularly scheduled brainrot soon enough, but if any of you care deeply for literature or history or the history of war, or are familiar with this book or movie, I urge you to hear me out. Sorry, It's long. I kinda ran with it lmfao

So the first and most important thing to be aware of when discussing the disrespect of this adaptation is that, while it is not technically an explicit memoir, All Quiet on the Western Front is not a work of fiction. Everything that happens is based on something either the author or a soldier he interviewed really experienced. The main character is based on the author himself. Remarque's middle name was Paul before he changed it, he entered the German military at the same age as Paul, he had a passion for writing and poetry like Paul (a passion which if I recall correctly was omitted from the movie, but my memory may be off) and several of the things that Paul experiences are directly taken from his own life. While it is not explicitly a memoir, it is a collection of the real lived experiences of these soldiers, put to page in the form of a story with names changed. I think it is inherently disrespectful to dramatically change the events of a true story, but the way in which the 2022 movie went about it somehow took it further than just that.

So one thing you should know if you haven't read the book, which I HIGHLY recommend, Remarque wrote a preface to the book that was included in all the movies EXCEPT this one, and it states the exact purpose of the story. this is quoted from memory,

“This book is to be neither an accusation nor a confession, and least of all an adventure, for death is not an adventure to those who come face to face with it. It will simply seek to tell the story of a generation of men who, while they may have survived the shells, were destroyed by the war.”

He explicitly did not want it to be sensational, or “an adventure.” He wanted to tell real stories about real people, and all those stories were scrapped in favor of what we got. If you remove maybe two scenes and changed the title and character names, the film would not even be recognizable. How can you (not you the asker but the general you) do that to real people's lived experiences? How can you disgrace the author’s wishes like that? The book takes a humanistic approach. You learn about these people, you care about them. You spend time with them goofing off in boot camp, hassling newbies in the trenches, playing cards in the latrines, you see Paul go home and you see how his time at home affects him. How his father parades him around, how he lost interest in everything that once made him happy, how he sees Russian POWs and knows that they are just like him, how his mother, dying of cancer, strokes his hair and cries when she thinks he is asleep because she knows her baby has been lying when he said that things were fine, and he's going back into that hell.

I cannot go into everything the movie portrayed differently to the book because I would have to just copy and paste practically the entire script lol. And having differences isn't inherently a bad thing! Both other movies added or removed or slightly altered a scene here and there. But there are two specific scenes, at the beginning and at the end, that I think are the most indicative of this movie’s failure and disrespect.

In the beginning of the book, which is not told in chronological order, we are introduced to the main friend group and find out that their friend is dying in the infirmary. They visit him, they crack jokes and tell him he's lucky he'll be going home, but he's obviously not improving. He is unaware that his leg has been amputated. One of them asks for his boots, since he has nice military boots, for when he “goes home”, and the others kind of shut him up. Later they discuss how they all know Franz is dying. Paul reminisces about Franz, how he was always timid, how his mother made Paul promise to protect him. He goes to visit Franz again, and he's doing real bad. The author describes in detail how you can see the death in his face. He is now aware his leg was amputated. He wistfully tells Paul that he wanted to be a forester when he grew up, and now he never will. Paul tries to reassure him that “prosthetics are great these days!” (This was written in 1920 lmao) and insists Franz will go home. Franz asks “Do you think so?” And then when Paul remains insistent, he quietly replies, “I don't think so.” He tells Paul to give their friend his boots. Paul sits in silence with him, foreheads pressed together, watching as his friend slowly dies from infection. His internal monologue is distressed about the orderlies ignoring them. “I want to grab them and I want to scream, ‘his name is Franz Kemmerich, he is nineteen years old, he doesn't want to die, don't let him die!’” As he hits in silence until the end. All these characters are emphasized to be nineteen years old.

This is the most important scene in the book. It sets the tone for the whole rest of the story and happens very early on.

Meanwhile in the movie, an unnamed character who we vaguely see hanging around Paul gets instantly blown to shrapnel and his severed leg gets blown off and Paul finds it, cries for 8 seconds, and we move on.

So that's a pretty big failure, I would say. This was the point in the movie I started getting a real bad feeling.

So that's the beginning, now the ending which, while it is the insulting cherry on top of the disrespect pie, I cannot get over how absolutely ridiculous this film ending is. First of all, the whole bit with the military officials? Not in the book at all. That big end battle after the armistice for literally no reason? Yeah, that didn't happen. I don't know how the writers forgot that you cannot completely fabricate an entire battle in a film about an actual war that really happened. And what disgusted me was they have Paul die in a vicious killing spree, bashing heads in, storming the trench (in this fake battle that didn't happen) stabbing people, shooting people, strangling people, throwing bombs, going nuts, getting nearly DROWNED IN SHIT WATER. Need I remind you this was the self-insert of the author who they had doing this? I get what they were trying to to do, show how an innocent non-violent guy got “broken” by the war but that is not faithful to the story. It borders on fetishizing violence, which as previously mentioned was the exact OPPOSITE of what the author directly stated that he wanted his work to be perceived.

Paul did what he had to do, but he was never sadistic and never liked killing and certainly never went on a killing spree. Again, this is meant to represent the AUTHOR.

So how does he die in the book? It's where the title comes from. “He fell in October, 1918 on a day that was so quiet and still on the whole front, that the army report confined itself to a single sentence: All Quiet on the Western Front. Turning him over one saw that he could not have suffered long. His face bore an expression of calm, as though almost glad the end had come.”

Bit of a different picture, innit? Look, I don't mind movies being different to books, I don't particularly mind this movie as it stands on its own, but it chewed up, shat out, and stomped on Remarque's legacy and it absolutely devastates me to know how he would feel if he saw what they did to his story. The rage I feel on the behalf of a person who just wanted to tell his real story is unfathomable.

[coherentcats]

crossposted from cohost: transcript of james somerton thread (12/11/2023)

I did a twitter thread about james somerton (and nick herrgott) but twitter is blocking all the URLs for some reason. so here's a transcript of the whole thing (while correcting a couple typos) with the links, except for the tweets in the middle that are about how the links don't show up on twitter lol.

Edit: I have now created a transcript of the entire video, that also includes some fact-checking, including the fact-checking I originally did in the thread

Edit from 9/30/24: transcript of the video on github

I wasn't sure if I should say anything about james somerton since it's been over a week since the controversy broke and most everything in a general sense has been said. however, I haven't seen anyone bring this up so I figured I would.

it was live-streamed and archived on youtube and is probably the only publicly available video of james talking at length left. youtube link

first, I wanted to go over some of the strange things they said that I think are either made up or lies?

james claims that denis villeneuve wanted arrival (2016) to "take place in ontario" and "make it through the canadian system so that he could employ canadians" (13:29) but that the federal government turned him down, so it had to become an american-funded movie set in the usa?

I can't find anything supporting this and in fact, while the movie is set in montana, it's filmed in quebec and employed a lot of canadians. villeneuve is very proud of this.

"Denis Villeneuve says Arrival's Oscar nods recognize Quebec film scene" article link

he also claims james cameron wanted to get funding for titanic and avatar ("both avatar movies") from the canadian government (12:05).

also it just doesn't add up to me. why would he go to canada to fund avatar, which was extremely expensive at the time and required multiple investors, including his own money?

"A Movie’s Budget Pops From the Screen (Published 2009)" article link

somerton also talk about some scottish guy who immigrated to ontario during the 18th/19th century and had a "twinkie boyfriend" who was a werewolf who killed cops? and that the library of toronto was research this but the socttish government made them stop?

(sorry, timestamp for that is 19:21). I couldn't find anything and have no idea if this is just obscure or bullshit. feels like it would at least pull up some unsourced tumblr post if it was at all true.

there are other things he says that are true (such as canada decriminalizing homosexuality in the 1960s while it took the usa until the 2000s to do the same) and other ones I can't sort out clearly (such as margaret atwood having trouble getting published in canada initially).

anyway this video has less than 1000 views (it was under 500 when my partner first showed it to me). but I think it's worth flagging that he (and his co-writer) was not above just saying whatever outside of youtube.

I also think it's worth pointing out how an event hosted by a public institution like this can build social capital and an air of legitimacy for his self-appointed queer historian reputation.

it feels like at a minimum, they took a spot during a pride event that could've gone to someone else who has like. integrity and decency.

also there's a (very short) negative dig at forrest gump (!!) from nick lol? (1:15:30)

finally maybe my view is tainted, but doing a talk titled "canadian queer identity" and spending 70% of the time talking about the american cultural hegemony and how hard it is to get movies made in canada seems. odd!

neither of them bring up much historical or current canadian lgbtq+ media besides a mention of gingersnaps and "elliot page going around and doing his documentary" (edit here to add that that paraphrased quote is from the time stamp 32:15)

like this letterboxd list seems to do a better job of highlighting canadian queer identity

"LGBT Canada" letterboxd list link

I won't say the talk itself is bad (besides the stuff that is 100% not true) but it doesn't feel especially relevant to what it should be about. and it feels strange in retrospect when somerton himself never specifically focused on canadian queer media on his channel

even after gaining more subscribers and fames. (wow I wonder if he was just mining topics people made discourse about on twitter 🤔🤔🤔)

anyway kind of hope more people, especially canadians, see this video so they can better fact check it than me.

wait I forgot to add (edit: to this QRT of a thread tweet link) that the closest thing I could find about this was some merchant involved in a sodomy accusation sex scandal. wikipedia page for "alexander wood (merchant)"

I might come back and comb through more of the video for parts I missed (such as a lot of the canada-specific legal stuff) but if anyone else spots any weirdness, let me know.

wait, I also want to add this video by jessie gender. it's a good analysis of how somerton didn't really care about and exploited the lgbtq+ community and other marginalized people "James Somerton & Community Solidarity" youtube link

I think it contextualizes how slimy his presence at a local pride event is. he wanted to posture himself as an authority and trustworthy figure while doing all of that.

(I don't blame the library for this, I have no idea what their logistics were at the time and they obviously didn't know. I feel bad that they were associated with him.)

wait he just took that from a horror novel??? from a gay canadian writer??? QRT of a reply link

I checked out the ebook for "red x" from the library and this is definitely it. I don't have the knowledge or access to resources to say if this historical exposition is accurate (google turns up nothing), but weird that neither of them just don't mention this book at all!

I realized I could check this easily by just looking up her bibliography and verifying the publishing companies of her early books. which were all canadian (primarily mcclelland and stewart). this includes the handmaid's tale. QRT of a reply link

update: somerton did not do any intensive historical research and plagiarized the plot of red x and passed it off as obscure canadian folklore?

QRT of a previous tweet in the thread

it's both more devastating and predictable that he didn't just make some bullshit up, but just stole other people's writing. for the nth time.

[ao3-oner]

Hello, a fellow JDG fan here also deeply mourning the loss against WBG...(it was so close too, damn. BTW i strongly believe that if the meta had been hyper-carry ADC JDG would have made worlds) and as much as i think it’s a shame that the WKFA series is getting discontinued, i’m just gonna say i think it’s good that you’re not forcing yourself to write things you’re not interested in! Plus i will eat up every fic you write anyway lol so keep up the good work

However i’m probably not the only one curious about what the fic might have been, so could you tell us a bit about your ideas/brainrot scenes(If you’re comfortable and willing to share of course)? I read the scene you posted on ao3 and i’m guessing the context is that siwoo hooked up with jaehyuk and then got kicked out and spent the night at jinhyuk’s room. I hadn't expected that siwoo would have had a... thing? with kanavi too but could you tell us a little more about that? And also I’m especially curious about what kind of ending RuLehends would have gotten at the end of the fic, happy/sad/ambiguous?

Wow this is a barrage of questions, so please feel free to ignore stuff(or this entire ask) if you don’t feel like answering. Have a good day!

Hi, and thanks for the ask!

Like I said in my longer update post, I am more than happy to talk about what some of my ideas for what the Worlds fic could have been, including further context for the scene that I did end up writing - in fact, after posting that one scene, I found myself thinking "I really could just write the scene right before that one... and maybe the one before that... and maybe-" until I realized at that rate I would just be writing the entire fic inside out lmao

But yeah, let's start with KanHends! My main foundation for their relationship is a quote from Kanavi where he said he considered himself to be good friends with both Chovy and Lehends from their (few) Griffin days together. As for Kanavi and Lehends's sexual history together, it wasn't so much of a 'thing' as a one night stand, which was actually was going to be a part of the vihends plotline:

My hc for this subplot was that when Viper and Lehends first started working together on Griffin, there were feelings there and so they started hooking up and Viper wanted them to be exclusive. Lehends... didn't really want that level of commitment, at least not yet, but rather than talking about his feelings like a normal, healthy person, he decided to resolve the issue by sleeping his way through the rest of the Griffin roster, leading us to this exchange:

Past! Jinhyuk: "We shouldn't. I mean, you're Dohyun's..."

Past! Siwoo: "Dohyun's... what?"

Past! Jinhyuk: "I dunno. You're Dohyun's something."

Past! Siwoo: "That's the thing, Jin: I'm not his anything. I'm not 'his' at all, and that means we can do whatever the fuck we want. So, are you in?"

Dohyun finds out, of course, and is absolutely heartbroken because he thought he and Siwoo had an understanding. Siwoo explains that he's happy to keep his situationship with Dohyun as long as it remains exactly that: no strings attached. Jinhyuk is honestly kind of pissed that Siwoo essentially used him as a means to set boundaries with Dohyun, but lets it slide because he did know what he was signing up for and he still generally likes Siwoo plus the sex was really good so

That whole past interaction was going to feed into Jinhyuk being honestly worried about Dohyun's well-being going into Worlds, because based on what he's heard from both Jaehyuk and Jihoon, it certainly doesn't sound like Siwoo's gotten his shit together. Even if Siwoo claims he's now ready for a committed relationship with Dohyun, Jin is pressing X to doubt. That, plus Jinhyuk still feeling slightly guilty for interfering with their relationship all those years ago, was going to incentivize Jinhyuk to talk to Dohyun at Worlds about his relationship with Siwoo, with his goal being to try to prevent his friend from getting his heart broken all over again. Oh, Kanavi plotline my beloved... Have I mentioned how much I love Jinhyuk? Because I really do.

On another note, Jaehyuk's quip about "the best night of [Jin's] life" in the scene that I wrote out was also a reference to this backstory: Jaehyuk didn't know about Jin and Siwoo's fling until Worlds where Jin mentions it in the context of a different discussion about Siwoo’s escapades, something along the lines of the exasperated declaration, "Yes, we've fucked! Best night of my fucking life! But that only shows how none of this means shit to Siwoo! That's just what he does. That's just who he is." Jaehyuk was honestly pretty shocked to hear that, but didn't get too snippy about it until he saw Siwoo walking out of Jinhyuk's hotel room and kissing him...

Speaking of, you've hit the context of the stand-alone scene squarely on the head, so I'm glad to hear that the key points came across okay. What happened the night before that scene consisted of some very messy sex between Jaehyuk and Siwoo, followed by Jaehyuk ordering Siwoo to get out of his room. I like that scene a lot - very hot, very angsty - so I won't share too many details until I'm more certain that I'm not gonna fully write it out. But yeah, it ends with Siwoo in tears outside of Jaehyuk's door, pounding on it until Jin comes out to see what all the noise is about, takes one look at Siwoo all fucked and bitten and sobbing, then says something along the lines of "For fuck's sake, you two..." and drags Siwoo into his room. They just sleep, of course. Siwoo just needed someone to hold him after that, and #Kanavi'sAGoodFriend.

As for your question about what ending RuLehends had in store for them... Since the full fic isn't going to be written, I honestly think it's better for you to decide that for yourself. What even constitutes a happy ending for them? Are they together? Apart? Does Siwoo end up with Dohyun instead? I think all my readers can decide what they think should happen, or what they want to happen, and mentally sub that in for 'canon'. At this point, I rescind my right to make a call about the ending either way. Maybe Singed from the hit game League of Legends shows up in the real world at the very end, flings Siwoo over his shoulder and sprints off into the distance? Idk. Have fun with it!

As always, don't worry about asking me things regardless of how long or short they are - I am happy to be yappy. You have a great day, too, wherever you are, and I hope to hear from you again!

[burninlovebutler]

1,000 Follower Party 🥹

when i came back to tumblr, i never expected to have the experience i’ve had or make the connections & friend’s i’ve made - friends that i consider some of my best friends now.

i also didn’t expect the love i’ve received for my writing, it has been truly overwhelming (in a good way obv) - my numbers aren’t the highest but i am so grateful for my time here & the people i’ve met - thank you for all the laughs, cries, screams lol they make me so happy. you all have shown me a kindness that is such a bold reflection of elvis 🥺 it’s so beautiful & it just makes me wanna pay it forward

and thank you for accepting me & letting me take up some space here 💗

**since i do get quite overwhelmed easily with asks (bc my adhd) i can’t guarantee that i’ll be able to do all of them or that they’ll be done quickly but i will try my best to do most!**

(this is long bc i’ve never done a follower celebration before so i’m making up for lost time lol prob nobody cares & this is prob lame but 😭 idk)

anyway send me an ask w one of these if u want ☺️💘

🍉 - About me / Commentary / Opinion

-tell me about yourself / introduce yourself to me if you haven’t already or ask me anything about myself that you’re curious about or just rant about anything!

-idk people come to me for advice often about random stuff ? could be anything you want or writing related! or ask my opinion on anything fandom related or not

👻 - Title Game

-send in a made up fic title and I'lI tell you what I'd write for it 💓

🤗 - Thoughts on you!

- self explanatory - if you wanna hear my thoughts about you💕

📝 - Quotes (specify which you’d prefer)

- random quotes from WIPs

- or fav quote from existing works

💿 - Playlists

2 options for this one:

Send me A or B & i’ll make/write a short 3-6 song playlist for you 💗

A - send me either austin or elvis + a fav trope / vibe / mini fic idea OR any of my fics regarding a certain scene or dynamic

B - send me either austin or elvis + your personal typa vibe/aesthetic/etc

(perhaps also include like what kinda music u listen to / any specific artist you like so i can include some if they overlap w my library ?)

ALSO - specify if you have spotify or not!

🦋 - Moodboards

similar to ^ playlists

send me A or B [+ the respective details] & i’ll make a 3-6 pic mini moodboard for you 💓

👀 - My fics

-ask me about any of my fics! send me one of my fics & talk/ask me anything about them like how i got the idea / ideas for certain plots or scenes or my writing process or my fav lines/plots/scenes or anything really idk

- or hints out of context 🤭 i love doing those

👽 - Head Cannons

-ask me about a specific fic of mine OR elvis/austin under a certain setting / trope / plot / pairing & i’ll share/make some head cannons for it

🌸 - Recommendations

-recommend some things for me! movies, shows, music, makeup!!/skincare!, tarot decks, books, anything & i’ll answer w some of my own 💓

since my writing process is rather lengthy & intricate i don’t like to write blurbs or take requests etc. so unfortunately i can’t be like y’all that can write/post a million lil stories effortlessly ☹️ i so wish i could, i’m just not built like that 😭

HOWEVER it seems just wrong for me to not include some sort of fic component in my celebration since i am mainly a fic blog SO

i decided i wanted to do a lil contest ??? idk lol

🦋winner will receive a imagine/one shot with the plot request of their choosing🦋

TO ENTER:

- make sure you are following me lol

- like & reblog this post

- comment 🍉🥀 on this post

- comment something that made you happy today 💓

- bonus entry: reblog this w proof that you took a drink of water when you read this 💗 (empty water bottle/cup or something!)

that’s it!

💗whenever the winner is chosen i will convene with them directly on what sort of fic they want & i will write one for them (tho it may take some time lol) 💗

✨contest will be open for the next 2 weeks & the winner will be chosen at random around then! [04.07.23]✨

tagging some of my fav people i’ve met through this blog/fandom 🥰

@cryingabtab @lllsaslll @presleysdarling @loving-elvis @samfangirls @bisexualwvtson @troubleinapinksuit @karamelcoveredolicity @lindszeppelin @succsessions @steph-speaks @luluthesandgoose @ab4eva @softsatnin @elvisfatass @homerow99 @michellelv @flwrs4aust @powerofelvis @elvisabutler @sournatromanoff @jelliedonut @sagesolsticewrites @fangirlwithasweettooth @thatbanditqueen @purejasmine @slowsweetlove @areacodefan @generoustreemystic @golden-kiwis

and so many more 😭 anyone whom i’ve inevitably missed due to my overly medicated rotting brain 😭

again i love you all so much 🥺 thank you for letting me be a part of this beautiful little family 🥺💗

-mel xx

[basil-appreciation-comic]

IMPORTANT UPDATE!!

the comic is cancelled. you probably already assumed that since i havent posted anything about it in a while but yeah the things dead now lol. mainly because i dont care much about omori anymore, the comic sucked, and it was too much effort. i feel kinda bad about leaving you guys in the dark for this long tho, so i thought id go ahead and include all the scrapped stuff for the comic that never got finished

while i was writing the comic i started a google doc that laid out ideas i had for future pages. heres that if you wanna know how the story ends

it was written over several months and (most) things are in order of where they go on the timeline not when i wrote them so it might be a little hard to follow

also some art i never posted

(at least i dont think ive posted the last one)

i quoted not liking this comic as one of the reasons i stopped so let me explain that with a list of things id change about this if i were to remake it (which i wont)

remove the swearing that was so stupid

make omori mute (and probably use sign language)

omori does not express fear or stress in-game, thats sunnys job. quit it

he also does not cry and generally shows emotions (even the big ones) in more subtle ways (which i think i was trying to shift towards later in the doc) idk why he was so emotional all the time

literally everything about how i portrayed omori actually that was all just awful

the panic attack scene is fucking embarrassing i have no clue what i was thinking. im so sorry for writing it like that i did 0 research beforehand

make it shorter why did i think that would work out

id probably just make it a fic, comics take way too much outta me compared to just writing things

it does not need a big epic ending and probably shouldve ended not long after they escaped black space

the romance is horrible but thats the foundation of the comic so idek what id do about that

stop making everyone talk like therapists 24/7

and yeah it has a lot of problems but i still do care about this due to the ammount of effort and love ive put into it, i just cant and dont want to continue it

so yeah thats where this story ends ig. i had a lot of fun along the way, and thank you so much for all the support. bigger thanks to that one sunflower discord server (if you came from there you know which one) for being my main motivation and support throughout this journey. sucks this comic never got to see its full potential but im relieved to finally lay it to rest. the blog will stay up for archival purposes but i will not continue the comic any further obviously. the ask box will remain open if you wanna say anything or if you have a question about the story or whatever. thanks for reading.

[saltpepperbeard]

"no but why the FUCK was he left chained up in the sun like that. unacceptable." plz?

Oh hello hello! Thank you, darling <3 lol SO-

This is one of the wips that I only have roughly drawn up, but basically, I just wanted to write Stede coming back on deck after placating the crew/taking a moment to breathe/addressing his face/doing whatever else it was that he was doing and finding Ed chained up in the sun. And obviously, finding that incredibly unacceptable and subsequently convincing someone (probably Frenchie) to help him get Ed out of that.

I think I've seen similar "missing scenes" fics from that particular period--I want to say from Miles and Atticus? BUT I DEFINITELY WANT TO JOIN THE MIX BECAUSE HSLKDJS LIKE!!!

Stede didn't want the crew to even banish Ed because "that wasn't them," so I cannot imagine him finding that sort of treatment acceptable either. And I wanted to write him trying to compromise with the crew, like..."If he's to be banished, then he gets to rest first in my quarters" type deal. And one of the quotes I had drafted up from him was like "Trust me when I say I don't want anyone getting hurt, but that includes him as well." And then of course trying to offer tender, loving care for Ed even though he'd still be grouchy about it.

Honestly, the fourth episode is RIFE with missing scene possibilities shdjlssdkl, so it's just all something that's making my brain go 👁👁

Send me a title from this wip list and I'll talk about it! <3

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S04E03 - Rex Marks the Spot - PART A

This is where we finally meet Charlie's definitely not blonde ex-wife. Usually when they show a photograph of an actress playing that role and then in the next season they show such an episode, I expect the same actress to play that role. But no, apparently they made a different casting decision.

Black letters in quotes: Actual show quotes.

Green letters in quotes: What I come up with my twisted brain.

Joe is... treasure hunting? With an actual metal detector and everything.

Superintendent Joe Donovan, everybody.

And because no one can actually have fun non-murderous hobbies or life or anything like that, there's a body.

"Get out of the fucking way!!!"

Sarah already knows a lot about Charlie's ex-wife, and including her book. Which means those two are even closer than what is shown on screen. I wish the writers had established that they're best friends at some point.

An absolute nightmare. When you split with someone and there's bad blood, the worst thing would be to have a reminder of them everywhere.

Supportive work wife.

"Pet me, peasants."

"I'm not a police dog anymore. My life is at the sea now. Arrr!"

Soon, like in this century?

Keep your dog hydrated.

Nightmare complete lol. Classic ex-is-a-person-of-interest trope.

Charlie: "Oh, this is how it is, huh? Traitor."

Julia: "You put up such a fight when I wanted to adopt a rescue!" Sarah: "Oh, you're gonna tell me that story!" Poor guy, being double teamed by the ex and Sarah. He is not having a good time. If I had to guess the reason behind Charlie's refusal, it would be either because, a) his house looks too neat now, which means that the previous one was always supposed to be an interim kind of house post-divorce until he found something he liked, which is why he didn't put much of an effort in the old one. Which means Charlie was probably a neat freak, something that definitely clashes with owning a dog, and adopted Rex because they bonded and Rex was going to be put down otherwise (which is not factual but that's the explanation we're going with on the show). And b) he was more self-aware than Julia and knew that they'd leave the poor animal for hours alone at home. Charlie gets to take Rex to work every day, they're practically joined at the hip.

Charlie to Rex: "Don't get too attached, buddy." Like you, you mean?

Joe: "She cheated on him." Jesse doesn't know? Charlie has been practically yelling it in every case revolving marriage, divorce, or dating. See S2.

Oh, yeah, the Jeep. I know there were reasons for using it and then removing it, but it fits so well with Charlie's sort of erratic behavior in S4 that I have headcanoned it to be part of it.

Rex: *thinks that one day he will manage to play pinball* Charlie: *is sure that one day Rex will manage to play pinball*

I misspoke, y'all. This is definitely the worst nightmare. Your ex with the woman you like and your dog being friendly? Are you kidding me?

Jesse: They sure seem friendly. Charlie: "This must be how Caesar felt."

It's not very noticeable but in the same scene when Charlie gets surly and leaves the table, Jesse distracts Julia so that Sarah can slip away from the table and go to Charlie.

You can tell that Charlie is losing it when he talks to Sarah like that. But in the end he chooses to trust her and to trust what she's doing.

It's actually very interesting that no one even mentioned the thought that maybe he should have recused himself.

Your Honor, I don't know how much more of this I can take, actually. It was easier when I watched the episodes without micro-focusing on their every interaction.

You know, part of me believes that Charlie is a closed off oyster, but then we have Charlie's rare moments of oversharing and... I don't know if I'm the one mis-characterizing him or the writers often are.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions."

I just wanted to give notice to this no-nonsense look really quick. Carry on.

He put a dog vest on Rex!

"I need to inform you we're gonna board..." *Rex jumps on the ship because he doesn't give a fuck* "We've boarded your boat." lmao

Rex, no. We don't shake paws with Beckett's sniper. Which was my biggest clue about who the murderer would turn out to be, by the way.

I hit the limit again. Show, what are you doing to me? To be continued in Part B.